THE LEADER 03.28.18 | Issue 22 | Volume CXXIV

NEWS | 2 LIFE & ARTS | 7 SPORTS | 14 THE SCALLION | 18 2 The Leader March 28, 2018 The Leader NEWS Advertising: [email protected] S206 Williams Twitter @LeaderFredonia Fredonia, NY 14063 Instagram @leaderfredonia Cutting the ribbon [email protected] Facebook LeaderFredonia KM3 Studios and Fredonia Video Game www.fredonialeader.org Development Club open their alphas to public

Editor in Chief Art Director Claire O’Reilly Marissa Doing DAN ORZECHOWSKI up in the Incubator’s Student Business Managing Editor Asst. Art Director News Editor Competition. Travis LeFevre Hannah Orlousky Mattea Guldy Mitchell began his tenure at the News Editor Just in its second semester, Fredonia’s Incubator by running a business that Dan Orzechowski Photo Editor Video Game Development Club has worked with resumes. “It was a different Angelina Dohre gathered a following that some clubs spend business,” he said. “It wasn’t something that Asst. News Editor Seth Michael Meyer Asst. Photo Editor years building. I wasn’t really passionate about, but I knew Victor Schmitt-Bush Vacant Last Wednesday, the club and Kermit it was going to get me in the door.” Mitchell III (the club’s founder and Mitchell literally put his foot in the door Life & Arts Editor Copy Editors president) presented an alpha video game when he received office space in April of Vacant Ben Anderson Brandon Safe testing, open to the public. Two games, last year. “Now I’m pursuing what I’ve been Asst. Life & Arts Editor “Gamma Striker 5” and “The Vengeance of trying to do for the last three years, which Elyse Grieco Asst. Copy Editor Nekolai,” were both tested by local gamers is make this video game. So I changed my Victoria Barnes at the Fredonia Technology Incubator. business to KM3 studios.” Sports Editors Kelsea Halloran Vacant Mitchell, a sophomore computer science Mitchell’s new business is a software Business Manager and applied math double major, has been development firm that specializes in Asst. Sports Editor Lauren Finke with the incubator for just over a year interactive media. Specifically, KM3 Studios Avril King now. Last Spring semester, he won runner- works closely with virtual and augmented Quintin James Ad. Sales Manager Aiden Pollard Taylor Staight reality.

The Scallion Editor Asst. Ad. Sales Manager CONTINUED on pg. 4 Emma Patterson Zachary Roberts

Asst. Scallion Editor Sales Representatives Vacant Ryan Shakya On the Cover: Tyler Witt Web Editor Alexis Sorbello PAC presents Waiting for Godot Jason Cheung Joe Sciera directed by Annastassia Stewart. Asst. Web Editor Social Media Manager Pictured are actors Jeff Kringer (left) Vacant Avril King and Noah Barnes (right). Design Editor Asst. Social Media Jessica Tompkins Angelina Dohre Vanessa Raffaele/Special to The Asst. Design Editor Manager Leader Benjamin Rockafellow Sarah Hughston

Adviser Elmer Ploetz In this issue: • Cuomo wants SAFE Act to be enacted The Leader is funded through advertising revenue and a portion of the nationwide (pg.5) mandatory student activities fee. It is published by the students of SUNY Fredonia. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in • Christopher Robbins brings inspiration, any form or by any means except as may be expressly permitted in writing by activism to Visiting Artist Program (pg. 8) the editor in chief. All opinion writings in The Leader reflect the opinion of the writer, with the exception of the editorial, which represents the opinion • From the desk of Lauren Finke, Business of the majority of the editorial board. The Leader editorial board holds its Manager (pg. 11) staff meetings, during the academic semesters, weekly on Tuesdays at 7 p.m. Letters to the editor must be 350 words or less and have a deadline of 4 p.m. • Changes coming to college ? on Friday. The Leader is printed by the Buffalo News in Buffalo, New York (pg. 15) and is distributed free on campus and in the surrounding community. Press • Horoscopes (pg. 20) run is 2,500. Does anyone actually read this? Clarification: In Issue 21, the text in the graphic reading “We Proud member of The Associated Collegiate Press. are dumb humans” was an artistic interpretation by the illustrator and was not said by Dr. Jonathan Titus. fredonialeader.org The Leader 3 Fredonia professor receives international recognition

VICTOR SCHMITT-BUSH Assistant News Editor

The issue of plastic pollution is starting to be taken seriously, and it’s partly thanks to Sherri Mason, the chair of Fredonia’s Geology and Environmental Sciences department. As an affiliate of Orb Media, the non-profit activist organization against plastic pollution, Mason was prompted to begin a research project over winter break. It steamrolled into a nationwide story that caught the attention of BBC News. On March 15, 2018, BBC News author, David Shukman, posted an online article titled “Plastic particles found in bottled water.” The entire article was about Mason and her research. “It was really exciting because I was at a conference on plastic pollution when the story broke out,” said Mason. “I didn’t sleep for some time. This is what I was doing the whole winter break. So while you guys were home celebrating the holidays, I hired two of my graduated students who both have their bachelor’s degree to help me with my research.” They began by collecting a total of 259 plastic bottles of water that were provided to them Department of Geology and Environmental Sciences chair Sherri Mason recently had her research on bottled by Orb Media. The samples were all bought from water reach a worldwide audience. Photo courtesy of Fredonia Campus Report. a number of organizations spanning across nine importance on the integrity of its work. She said before publication. The intent was, ‘This is our countries, including Nestle, IBWA and Poland that the results of sample data that she and her science. What do you say back to it?’” Spring. research team found would be sent by Orb to the Eventually, the growing prevalence of Mason “This is what’s nice about working with Orb,” companies it was testing bottled water on. This and her research would pressure even the World said Mason. “They did a market analysis, and they forced these companies to accept the reality of the Health Organization to begin a human health found the top selling brands within given markets team’s research. impact study, which, according to her, is no easy and those were the ones that we processed. They “I love the way that they went about it,” said task. collected all of the samples and sent them to us.” Mason. “Basically, every brand that we processed, She explained that she was at a plastic The samples were divided by the amount of they got an advanced copy of the report 10 days pollution conference when a European Union water and not strictly by the number of bottles commissioner came up to her and thanked her for bought, because the standard size per bottle varies her work. from country to country. “Eventually, the growing “He found me at one of these discussions and “For science, we processed generally ten bottles was like, ‘I just want to thank you.’ He said, ‘We from each lot,” said Mason. “I say generally ten prevalence of Mason had issues on a report in January to the World because in the , all of our water Health Organization asking for a human health usually comes in 500 milliliters. In different and her research would impact study to be done.’” countries, two liters is standard, one liter is The commissioner explained to her that when standard, etc. They have very random things.” pressure even the World the World Health Organization responded to Mason attributed the bulk of her success in their plea, it said that the company didn’t have the public outreach to Orb’s dedicated peer review and Health Organization to money or the time. networking staff. begin a human health The commissioner thanked Mason and “That’s how [BBC] became aware of the study,” said,“[When your report came out], they did what she said. “In terms of the BBC, Orb contacts news impact study, which, we asked them to do in January. It’s because of you agencies, and BBC came on as the lead news that change is happening on this planet.” agency. They were the first ones to get to break the according to her, is no “And that’s a big part of why I love doing what story, and from there, they have these arms that I do. I want to leave this place a better place than reach out, and everyone else gets to reach them.” what it was when I started here,” Mason concluded. She also mentioned that Orb places a lot of easy task.” 4 The Leader March 28, 2018

CUTTING THE RIBBON continued.

You may have seen virtual reality headsets “I had most of [the game] finished, or ready for here at the Fredonia Incubator.” before. These allow users to play games as if combat, but when I came back to school, game Michell doesn’t have set timeframes for the they’re really in them. Similarly, augmented development slowed down,” said Mitchell. beta (or second draft) versions of these games realities rely on devices (like phones or gaming Although it took about a month to get the quite yet, but he plans on having more testing consoles). Snapchat and Pokémon Go are popular game’s alpha up and running, schoolwork has events at the Incubator. augmented reality applications. buffered Gamma Striker 5’s progress. “When I Although it doesn’t work around virtual came back to school, development slowed down,” reality, “Gamma Striker 5” was a hit at the said Mitchell. “I’ve been lucky to even get a day testing event. A space shooter, the game pairs in [of development] sometimes because I’m in “‘Kermit is a talented local players in one-on-one battles to destruction. school again.” Players control spacecraft as they use stray The other game featured at the testing event, entrepreneur who, asteroids to their advantage and avoid incoming “The Vengeance of Nekolai” platformer, also took as a client of the fire from opponents. about a month to make. Game testers anxiously waited in line to Similar to Mario games, this game utilizes Incubator, has been download the game on to their phones. Mitchell arrow keys to get to the end of stages. Players plans to have the game accessible at no cost control Nekolai, the eyepatch-wearing cat, in making steady through IOS and Android app stores soon. efforts to get to the end of the map while fighting In case you were going to ask, the “5” in off enemy dogs. In upcoming versions of the progress in realizing Gamma Striker 5 doesn’t refer to any games game, more backstory will be implemented. Bio leading up to it. The number is actually an inside snippets and cut scenes are in the works. his vision,’ said Chuck joke and pays tribute to the number of different “Kermit is a talented entrepreneur who, as a classes of ships in the game. “We love it when client of the Incubator, has been making steady Cornell, Incubator people ask that question,” chuckled Mitchell. progress in realizing his vision,” said Chuck While most of us were shoveling snow and Cornell, Incubator director. “As this event director.” staying warm, Mitchell spent all of his winter illustrates, Fredonia students and graduates have break working on “Gamma Striker 5.” a unique opportunity to start their own business

Police Blotters

UNIVERSITY FREDONIA Joan Ketchan, age 60, was charged with speeding Tuesday, March 20, 2018 Monday, March 19, 2018 in a zone. A uniform traffic ticket was given.

10:58 p.m. Elliot Case was charged with littering. Kristen Cook, age 47, was charged with speeding in Eric Prince, age 51, was charged with operating An appearance ticket was given. a zone. A uniform traffic ticket was given. an unregistered and uninspected motor vehicle. Uniform traffic tickets were given. A vehicle was struck in Lot 2. An investigation is Leanne Miliotto, age 20, was charged with on-going. operating an unregistered motor vehicle. A uniform Ashley Goiggs, age 30, was charged with disorderly Wednesday, March 21, 2018 traffic ticket was given. conduct. Bail was set to $100.

Items were stolen from the Williams Center. An Thursday, March 22, 2018 Sunday, March 25, 2018 investigation is on-going. Miles Scott, age 19, was charged with disorderly Jason Masiewicz, age 21, was charged with open Saturday, March 24, 2018 conduct. An appearance ticket was given. container. An appearance ticket was given. Friday, March 23, 2018 12:11 a.m. Taylor Font was charged with operating Tyson Markel, age 20, was charged with littering, a motor vehicle with no sufficient tail lamps and Matthew Pulinski, age 26, was charged with open open container and underage possession of alcohol. unlawful possession of marijuana. An arrest was container. Bail was set to $50. Appearance tickets were given. completed. Saturday, March 24, 2018 Andrew Mergenhagen, age 20, was charged with open container and underage possession of alcohol. Nathan Maines, age 23, was charged with disorderly Bail was set to $50. conduct. An appearance ticket was given.

All information printed in The Leader’s police blotter is a matter of open public record. No retractions or corrections will be made unless a factual error is shown. Anyone who is cleared of charges has the right to have so printed. It is the responsibility of the accused to provide notice and proof of the dropped charges. fredonialeader.org The Leader 5

Governor Cuomo suggests his SAFE Act be adopted nationwide

SETH MICHAEL MEYER 2013 legislative session,” the New York Times the prospect of being reported to local mental Assistant News Editor reports, referring to the bipartisanship of the health authorities and maybe the police might bill. “The State Senate, which had in the past discourage people from revealing thoughts Tens of thousands of demonstrators resisted more restrictive gun laws, approved of harm to a therapist, or even from seeking marched through the streets of D.C. Saturday the measure 43 to 18.” treatment at all.” in support of gun law reform. Marchers According to Cuomo, the legislation Nevertheless, the SAFE Act has been in came together in light of the school shooting changes many things including stricter effect for nearly five years and it has made in Parkland, Fla., last month which left 17 background checks, harsh punishments for its impact. According to data collected by students and faculty dead and many more illegal weapon ownership and restrictions to PolitiFact from the DCJS, “In 2016, there were wounded. those with mental illnesses. 10,007 violent crimes with a firearm reported Many politicians have made various According to a guidance document from to police . . . In 2013, there were 12,235.” suggestions for gun reform in response to the the New York State Office of Mental Health, PolitiFact reports, “The percentage of widespread demonstration from those who the Mental Hygiene Law of sections 9.46 violent crimes with a firearm also fell from 16 feel that gun laws across the country are lax. of the SAFE Act requires certain medical percent in 2013 to 13.5 percent in 2016.” New York Governor Andrew Cuomo is no professionals to report their concerns of This bill, which Cuomo has suggested exception and proposed that his 2013 SAFE patients who may be a danger to themselves be implemented nationwide, goes further Act should be implemented nationwide. or others. If the county medical health official by adding provisions regarding domestic “In the aftermath of Sandy Hook, New is in agreement with the report, the Division violence. According to the SAFE Act website, York did more than send our thoughts and of Criminal Justice Services (DCJS) “will under this bill, targets and violators of prayers,” Cuomo said in a statement. “The then determine whether the person possesses orders of protections will have their pistol SAFE Act didn't affect sportsmen, hunters or a firearms license and, if so, will notify the permits suspended or revoked by the courts. legal gun owners — but it reduced the risk appropriate local licensing official, who must It also requires that “individuals who own a to our children, to our families and to our suspend or revoke the license as soon as firearm and live with someone who has been communities.” practicable.” convicted of a felony or domestic violence- The New York Secure Ammunition and The standard of reporting a patient, the related misdemeanor, involuntarily committed Firearms Enforcement (SAFE) Act was guidance document reports, is consistent with or is under an order of protection, to ensure ratified in 2013 after the shooting at Sandy the standards of non-voluntary admittance the firearm is safely stored and secured.” Hook Elementary and the Webster, N.Y., into a psychiatric facility. Cuomo thinks that his SAFE Act may be shooting. Some experts have said that this provision the answer to the gun question that has been “Mr. Cuomo signed the bill less than an may have an impact on mental health care. shaking our nation since the Columbine hour after the State Assembly approved it by An article from USA Today investigated critics’ shooting in 1999. a 104 to 43 vote on the second full day of the arguments about this controversial bill: “Dr. Paul Appelbaum at Columbia University said

“According to data collected by PolitiFact from the DCJS, ‘In 2016, there were 10,007 violent crimes with a firearm reported to police . . . In 2013, there were 12,235.’” 6 The Leader March 28, 2018 Fredonia science professor selected to governor’s water protection committee

COLIN HART blooms die off, they reduce oxygen levels in the problematic to the environment when they linger Special to The Leader water, which is especially harmful for fish. for months at a time. Aside from the toxins “The real root cause is usually that too many they release, large blooms also sunlight Dr. Courtney Wigdahl-Perry, a biology nutrients are there,” explained Wigdahl-Perry. from reaching fish and other plants. The HAB professor at SUNY Fredonia, has been selected “There are other things that can come into play, Initiative aims to protect ecosystems, while for Governor Andrew Cuomo’s steering like temperature, wind patterns and mixing of also improving the water quality for future committee for combating harmful algal blooms the lake. There’s more subtlety that happens, generations. (HABs) in several lakes throughout New York but the biggest influence by far is the amount of However, the project is still in its early state. nutrients that are there.” stages. The upcoming summit meeting will Alongside a panel of nationwide experts, In turn, the main cause of excess nutrients is serve as more of a jumping off , in which Wigdahl-Perry is scheduled to attend a human activity. long-term solutions will be proposed. Although summit meeting on Monday, March 26 at “People contribute to the problem by having possible courses of action aren’t yet in place, Monroe Community College, with the goal of a lot of nutrients Wigdahl-Perry is implementing a long-term solution to prevent the come in and are looking forward to outbreak of HABs. Governor Cuomo’s “Protecting basically feeding the challenges and New York’s Water Quality” plan was proposed in the algae,” said potential of this his 2018 State of the State Address, in which he Wigdahl-Perry, proposal. budgeted $65 million toward the project. referencing runoff “There’s not a Chautauqua Lake has been identified as one of from lawn fertilizer, simple solution,” she the 12 priority lakes and is where Wigdahl-Perry farming and septic said. “It’ll take a lot will conduct her research. Specifically, the south systems that of long, hard work. basin of the lake is more susceptible to HABs due aren’t functioning People aren’t always to its shallow depth and warmer temperature. properly. “The excited about that, “Algae are a normal, healthy part of a lake,” nutrients trigger they want rapid said Wigdahl-Perry. “But human activities on the the algae bloom. results. I think we lake or around the lake can throw off the balance So it’s kind of a just have to combine and then you end up with excessive growth. You dual role — we some of those short- can have too much algae. Depending on the pay attention to term actions with species of algae, this can cause harmful blooms. them because that’s long-term solutions, Blooms are just a lot of algae growing all at the where people are, and that’s what this same time.” but also because is about. How do you A harmful algal bloom occurs when people are causing do that effectively? excess nutrients — most commonly nitrogen it.” The challenge is just and phosphorus — are introduced to a lake HABs are finding out the best ecosystem, causing algae populations to “explode.” common among strategy.” This can cause public health concerns because of lakes throughout the toxins the algae excrete. Ingesting or coming New York, with into skin contact with the water can cause rashes many naturally or illnesses for humans, but has also been known occurring in late to cause death in livestock and pets. When the August. However, they become

“Chautauqua Lake has been identified as one of Fredonia biology professor Courtney Wigdahl-Perry was recently selected to be a member of one of the governor’s steering committees that focuses on preventing and the 12 priority lakes and is responding to algae blooms. Photo courtesy of Fredonia where Wigdahl-Perry will Campus Report. conduct her research.” fredonialeader.org The Leader 7

Alumna sheds light on life in film and theatre

STEPHEN SACCO Special to the Leader

Sarah T. Schwab, a writer who collaborated with Karen Allen and others who are critically acclaimed, paid SUNY Fredonia a nostalgic visit. Writers @ Work, a collective of the English department, hosted the events with Schwab and Long from March 22-23. The mission of Writers @ Work is to connect Fredonia’s alumni with students. Specifically, Schwab and Long gave advice that helped students with both career and life- changing opportunities. Justin Barnard is a graduate student and graduate assistant for Writers @ Work and helps connect writing-related alumni with students. Barnard himself is a writer and is Fredonia alumna Sarah Schwab engages with students at her workshop working on a piece called “Belonging” titled “Interrogate Your Darlings, Don’t Kill Them: A Writing Workshop.” that is inspired by SUNY Fredonia. Angelina Dohre/Photo Editor Concerning the role that writing plays in Barnard’s life, he said, us insight on what goes that was happening, she was learning the social “First and foremost it's a cathartic on in the mind of the nightlife culture of NYC which is as complex as experience, then a story emerges from writer. its subways. She finally met Long after getting Visiting alumna Sarah Schwab “There's three places published in a magazine. He asked her what that.” receives input about a student’s Barnard’s piece “Belonging” will fictional story during one of her to get a story. One: your would happen if she applied her journalistic skills be published by Embodied Effigies, a writing workshops. own experience . . . second to theatre — and the rest is history. creative non-fiction literary magazine. Angelina Dohre/Photo Editor source is from outside On the topic of what aspiring artists and One of the most important parts things you’ve read or writers should do in order to be successful, about writing is the story itself. seen and people you know . . . and then you can Schwab had some advice. Schwab was accompanied by Brian Long, a come up with something completely from your “I think definitely if you’re gonna be a veteran NYC film and theatre producer. Through imagination.” successful artist, you need to certainly have his experiences, Long has gained intelligence on Well there you have it; the cat’s out of the bag. passion, focus and an end goal. That passion is the preface of storytelling. More specifically, Long Long worked very hard for his spot in film going to carry you through a lot of up and downs commented on the outcomes of theatre. and theater and now reaps the benefit of getting . . . you need to have perseverance and resilience; “The forms that we see writers, actors and to pick and choose which projects he feels you need to have a really thick skin . . .” directors all getting together in is TV, film and passionate about. At the end of the lecture, Schwab was posed theatre. What separates theatre from those other Schwab started her journey with writing in with a question regarding what her last piece of two mediums is that it’s live,” he said. Fredonia. At first, she wrote for The Leader, writing would be. Schwab also noted her relation between the and from The Leader she went to The Dunkirk “I’m hoping that when that times comes, I’m actors in the context of her scripts. Observer, then to the Buffalo News where she still gonna be a very, very old woman who has had “It encourages me that what I’m writing about writes articles from time to time. many life affirming experiences both good is connecting with these actors for a reason,” she After her stay at SUNY Fredonia, she made the and bad . . . taking a look at my life and really said. big leap to the Big Apple to land a job. Schwab examining the subjects I wrote about and why I When it comes to writing a story, Long gives had to ambitiously write for odd jobs such as wrote them . . . do a self-examination on my own interviewing strangers about their sex lives. While life and my own choices,” she said. 8 The Leader March 28, 2018 Christopher Robbins brings inspiration, activism to the Visiting Artist Program

BETHANY CLANCY “I think this is a great opportunity for activism Staff Writer and helping bring communities together,” said Rey Kelleher, a junior graphic This week’s Visiting Artist design major. “I'd love to see Program featured Christopher ThinkTank Ghana expand to Robbins, one of the other countries and do founders of Ghana as much as they can.” ThinkTank. “This artist Robbins is cares an unusual about the artist. Instead cultural of producing aspect art in the form specifically about the of paintings, Israel and project, and drawings Palestine. This is wants to and ceramics, a way to create unlikely solve as many Robbins uses relationships between countries. problems as the ideas from Besides implementing ThinkTank the results of the installations, the group also makes Ghana can,” ThinkTank and mobile galleries as well. continued produces mostly The Ghana ThinkTank workers go Kelleher. “Not instillations. out of their way to help those who really a lot of the VAP So what is the need it. This lets people work to their artists are like Ghana ThinkTank? full potential. With such an in-depth that, as they are They are a global group, one would think there would be usually white men network, a public worry of failure. Robbins explained that with boring taste in art project formed in as each project changes and progresses, so art that only benefit 2006 that focuses on does the worry of failure. If a problem is themselves. I left developing the first solved, great, but if not, it’s not too big of a very inspired for my world. deal. senior show concept The idea arose when Their latest project is taking place in and how to be a better Robbins and colleagues Detroit, Michigan. The United States leg activist. I also loved his he attended art school with kept getting their of the ThinkTank linked up with Morocco for sculptural and typographical work and felt it was ideas shot down by their professors. They this project. They are working on setting up very beautiful.” decided to group together and execute their a public courtyard at a corner in Detroit with Katie Dugos, a senior graphic design major, ideas with one another, eventually leading to the areas for gardening, public performances, poetry also enjoyed the lecture. formation of the Ghana ThinkTank. readings and a lot of art displays. Another goal “I enjoyed how design was used as a way to During his lecture, Robbins explained that of the Detroit project is to build a community of get the conversation started, and that the actual this group is about taking ideas from different affordable homes for those who can’t afford them. main part of the piece was dependent on those cultures and embedding them into our own The idea for this is to create community between who participated and their responses,” said without changing them. neighbors because the United States has a sense Dugos. “I believe having him as a chosen speaker Although the title is the Ghana ThinkTank, of social isolation, according to Morocco. was important because those he worked with there are sections of it in all sorts of countries Joe Chadwick, a junior drawing and painting sometimes saw other communities as different including Cuba, Mexico, Serbia and El Salvador. major, enjoyed hearing this specific idea. and something to be feared, when in reality they The way it works is that they collect problems “I think the Detroit project is ambitious, yet weren’t so different. I feel like it is important to people submitted and send them to a think tank fairly solid in concept. I feel that promotion of an keep this message in mind and break down these in another country. From there, they spend six Islamic style in social culture is a fantastic way barriers within our own community, especially in or so minutes trying to think about a solution, of making progress in the middle of America,” light of recent national events as well as events then the solutions are sent back to the original he said. “Overall the Ghana ThinkTank is an occurring on our own campus.” country to be tested out. Some of the problems awesome idea that promotes diversity and Having this speaker was something that the that have been submitted out are homelessness, creativity in a way that challenges our own VANM students weren’t used to. It brought a lot obesity in America and even something just as microcosm here in Fredonia.” of new information to the students and gave a simple as not being able to dance. For a lot of the visual arts and new media new outlook on how different communities can The Ghana ThinkTank also deliberately students, Robbins and his project was new work together. works with groups who don’t work well together, information. Elizabeth Levengood/Staff Illustrator fredonialeader.org The Leader 9 Sigma Tau Delta: Linking education with community

MOLLY VANDENBERG involved reading environmental related stories to in the Dunkirk/Fredonia area after the closing Staff Writer children to help celebrate Earth Day. of the Book Nook in 2013. They sell hardcovers The group hosts an open mic night once every for $2, paperbacks for $1 and children’s books On March 30, Sigma Tau Delta hosted an semester at the same bookstore. for $0.50. All proceeds go towards supporting open mic night at the 21 East Bookstore in “It’s a great way to link our education with literacy services. Dunkirk. the community, which is what Sigma Tau Delta The bookstore is a part of the Literacy The bookstore is almost hidden in a brick strives to do . . . events like this are important Volunteers of Chautauqua County. The group is building on East Second Street. However, once because they help make our campus more aware a non-profit organization devoted to improving inside, you’ll notice the store is open and inviting of what goes on around them in the Dunkirk/ people’s lives through free literacy instruction. with comfy chairs to read in. Fredonia area,” said Alijah Fox, a senior double One-on-one and group tutoring sessions are Both students and faculty members alike got major in English and international studies and offered in reading, writing and speaking skills. up in front of the room to share some of their secretary of Sigma Tau Delta. “A majority of 21 East Bookstore is open Thursdays, Fridays favorite pieces and personal work. the students who go here don’t even know that and Saturdays from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. They also Sigma Tau Delta is the international English 21 East exists, so bringing it to their attention accept book donations. honors society on campus. This Fredonia chapter is, again, a way to connect our school to the If you missed out on their open mic night, sponsors events for English students, faculty and community.” Sigma Tau Delta has a supplies drive for refugees community members. Past events have included 21 East Bookstore opened its doors back in in the Buffalo area planned for the end of April. coffee talks with different professors regarding 2010 and offers hundreds of used books for the English major and Bedtime Stories, which bargain prices. They are the only local bookstore

I’d App That: Grade Hound

MELISSA FUCHS ability to neatly organize courses Staff Writer by color. I have to admit this is a huge thing for someone like me Being a college student can take a lot of hard who tends to get overwhelmed by work and organization. My late step-dad always disorganized clutter. used to tell me to do the hard work first and then From the ability to put due to do the easier tasks. dates on a calendar, to inputting I often find that organizing yourself before graded assignments, to adding delving into tasks can save you the grief, or at notes for different classes (hello least cut down on the stress, by having a precise big projects) — this app provides breakdown of your to-do list. the power of organization in the I always try to spend a little time on palm of your hand. Sundays planning my week so I have a good The notes section is similar to idea of what assignments I have to work on Apple’s notes app in ability, which before their due dates roll up. After trying Grade can be a bit of a godsend for Hound, I was pleasantly surprised by an updated someone like me who may be a and more technologically savvy way of staying visual person. organized. I expect the next few weeks The app, which is available on iOS devices, of this semester to be crazy. provides a pretty good way to look at everything Knowing I have an app that I can that is due in each class. plug my assignments into, and One of the drawbacks I noticed immediately also get reminders from, makes was the fact that in the unpaid version you can me feel at least slightly at ease. only have two classes, but Grade Hound Pro is a Before the semester really SuDi Wang/Staff Illustrator one-time purchase price of $1.99, so at least it’s snowballs into Study Week, download this app. not astronomical. Then, go ahead and fork over the $1.99 for the As a dog-lover, I have to admit one of my premium peace of mind as you run through favorite parts of the app is the adorable icon, but this semester’s finish line feeling like an utter the app is so much more than aesthetics. superhero. A superhero of productivity and Speaking of aesthetics, this powerful organization, that is. organizational tool is further enhanced by the 10 The Leader March 28, 2018 BSU Fashion Show

QUINTIN JAMES fashion show in recent years, a Assistant Sports Editor fashion show chair position was made so more attention can be put On Saturday, March 25, the Black toward the show. Student Union held their annual The Fashion Show committee, fashion show in the William Center which is different from the BSU MPR. The fashion show, which has E-board, starts planning in July been around since BSU’s creation, and are in charge of contracts, and has evolved in the last few years to budgets, among other things. be their biggest event of the school They also have to work with year. the designers, the host, campus The fashion show has been life, University Police, Intercultural selling out and BSU has brought Center and other campus groups to in famous entertainers from social make sure the show goes smoothly. media to host the event. Prevot explained how BSU always This year’s theme for the show had a fashion show, but in the last was “Black Renaissance,” which was few years it became a main focus. the theme for BSU during Black “We made it a priority. It always History Month. The focus is on the was a smaller thing, but we wanted positive sides of being black and the to make it into a big event. Our re-birth of black culture. bigger budget also allows many The host of this fashion show options, which help out,” she said. was Instagram skit comedian “The As Saturday came and the fashion Shiggy Show” and the tickets were show was about ready to start, the sold out in advance of the show. Williams Center was packed with Big Data. Bright Future. There’s always a lot of pressure to students finding a seat, models put on a good show, but BSU made getting their clothes ready and the sure they put in the time to make it host Shiggy talking to members of a success. the crowd. The success has made the tickets The show started off with an Data analysts are in high demand by organizations in virtually run out fast and President Jelissa opening monologue Shiggy before every industry. Prepare to enter this rapidly-growing field with an Samuel knows how challenging it is the first set of models wearing 1920 to accommodate everyone. style clothing came on the stage. MS in Data Analytics from Canisius College. You’ll gain hands-on “It’s very difficult. It was sold out Each set had a different theme, experience in data analysis and learn to apply data knowledge to and we put more tickets out and they whether it was the 20’s, to the ‘60s help businesses make better and faster decisions. sold out. It’s hard denying people but Black Panther style, or the ‘80s and we always try and help everyone. We ‘90s. might need a bigger [venue] in the Other sets included older themes Program highlights: future,” she said from past fashion shows, like “Date > Attend full-time or part-time Public Relations Chair Mondyna Night,” and designers got to show off Prevot, a senior, talked about the their clothing lines as well. > Open to students with any undergraduate degree Once the high school students, preparation it takes to plan. > Learn from industry scholars, big data researchers Prevot has been on the E-board here for Multicultural Weekend, and business professionals for the last two years after walking were in attendance, many of them in the fashion show her first two got on the stage with the host to > Enjoy small classes of 15 to 20 students years as a general body member and do an impromptu stage walk/dance > has seen how much it has grown. battle that the crowd loved. Benefit from strong industry connections “It takes all year. Once the As the show went on, the time for internships and the job search elections end, the fashion show in between skits involved the crowd starts to get planned,” said Prevot. and really made the fashion show From the scenes, to the models, to enjoyable for everyone in attendance. the clothing, it’s a yearlong process Between the dance offs, jokes and to create the fashion show, but it crowd reaction to the models, the Apply today - start this fashion show was a huge success. wasn’t always like this. summer or fall. Learn more Due to the popularity of the at canisius.edu/DATA fredonialeader.org The Leader 11 OPINION From the desk of Lauren Finke, Business Manager

As a freshman at Fredonia, I music director, and now president. where anything you could be is knew I wanted to be involved in an Premium Blend has been the one accepted and loved. It is a haven a capella group. I helped to start constant throughout my four years where even my longest, most one at my high school, and it was here and as graduation approaches, stressful days can be turned around. something I wanted to continue to I am forced to reflect on what As the semester comes to a close, be a part of in my college years. I Premium Blend really means to me. the words I’d like to share to the first auditioned for Premium Blend, The friends I’ve made in Premium members of Premium Blend are: and I got in! I was elated. I met the Blend are the best types of friends thank you. Thank you for always most amazing people. Since then, a person could have. They are the being there. Thank you for being all those members I first met have types of friends who support you so talented. Thank you for the love. graduated, but I have seen Premium and care about your well-being. And lastly, thank you for sharing Blend grow and change through the They pick you up when you are your passion for music with me, and years as new people have auditioned down and surprise you with kind allowing me to share mine with you. each semester. words when you need it most. I have experienced Premium Premium Blend is not just a Logo for Premium Blend, Blend as a member, secretary, co- group, but a home. It is a place an a capella group on campus. Courtesy of Rosalie Drozda and Lauren Finke

VERBATIM What can you tell us about Kid Ink?

“Not much, I’ve never listened to “I have no idea who him. I just vaguely Kid Ink is, but you know of him.” know, that’s just me.”

Morgan Taggart, freshman Jacob Santos, senior English education major public relations major

“I listened to him in high “Actually I know nothing school but I haven’t really about Kid Ink. All I think listened since.” I know is that he’s in hip- hop and rap.”

Taylor Rubens, freshman Kyle Licht, junior criminal justice major video production major 12 The Leader March 28, 2018 The NBA should allow players to join after high school, players should be able to go back to college if they go undrafted

QUINTIN JAMES the NBA lowers the age limit back down to 18. this change happened, more players would be Assistant Sports Editor Having high schoolers go straight to the NBA comfortable entering the draft knowing that they has worked before as players such as LeBron have a backup line in case things don’t go well. The past few years in college sports, athletes James, Kobe Bryant and others have made great Some say the NCAA is a corrupt, money and schools have gotten in some trouble over careers skipping college. If a player is good hungry organization that uses players for profit, student athletes receiving improper benefits. enough for the NBA out of high school, there and looking into it, the claims against them can The NCAA rules state that student athletes should be no reason he has to go to college for a be true. There are no positives to having players cannot make money off of their own likeness year. play a year of college before the NBA draft and nor can they receive money from boosters These players who are “one and done” has hurt in many fans’ eyes. and coaches as gifts. This means that student essentially don’t go to school for an education, Teams like Kentucky, Kansas and Duke are athletes can’t accept money for autographs and and it’s a waste of time for everyone involved in retooling their team every year with one and done merchandise among other things. the long run. This has created many problems players instead of the old school 4-year player and The majority of students who receive these in terms of improper benefits, making grades for more schools are getting in trouble for paying improper benefits are 5-star basketball recruits classes and team chemistry on many teams. players to attend their schools. who have to go to college for a year before Additionally, the NCAA should allow players Players who are in college and want to go to entering the NBA because of the age limit. who did not get drafted in the NBA to come back the NBA shouldn’t be punished for trying their 11 years ago, high school players were allowed to school to play. The NBA draft is only two luck and should be able to go back to school to to come straight to the NBA, but after a rule rounds, and 60 players get taken every year. play NCAA basketball. It wouldn’t hurt college upped the age limit they now have to play at least Hundreds of players declare for the draft basketball and many players would return to keep a year of college or go overseas before entering and if they don’t get drafted, they end up going playing if they are undrafted. the draft. This rule was supposed to make sure to either the NBA G-League or overseas to play These are a couple ways the NCAA would that players don’t go to the NBA too early. basketball. improve its product and should rethink their On the business side of things, the NCAA and If you still have college eligibility left, the rules. If not, the NCAA can continue to deal with college schools can get one year out of a really NCAA should allow you to return to your team the problems they are dealing with already. good prospect that gives the school some shine for for the next season. a year and helps the school financially. Coaches This makes it so have been in bidding wars over the past few years players not drafted trying to recruit the best players in the country to can go back and get come to their programs. better while still Many recruits who only plan on attending being able to take college for a year might choose a team not classes and be a necessarily known for their basketball program student. The MLB to improve their draft stock and capitalize on the does this as players playing time they will receive. have a choice to sign Some examples of that are Trae Young from a contract with their Oklahoma, Michael Porter Jr. from Missouri, Ben team or to go back Simmons two years ago at LSU and Dennis Smith to school for another Jr. last year for NC State. Their teams were not year. that good, but they had freedom on the court This would be because of their supreme talent. much better for lower Players seem to be only signing on to college mid-major schools teams because they’re forced to. They should give whose players leave the scholarship money to playrs who will stay early for the draft to Weekly Specials there for four years and let the superstars go and get paid and end up get paid. not getting drafted. A lot of these five-year recruits come from Every player has Monday: Tuesday: 5:00pm-Close: households who don’t have a ton of cash so these the right to test the 11:00am-Close: Kids eat free! players are often essentially their families’ meal waters and see if their $0.50 boneless wings & half ticket. It’s hard for a player growing up poor to game is good enough off pizzas! not take cash from someone to support his family for the next level. If or to survive and eat on campus. you’re a sophomore Coaches and athletic directors are widely who went undrafted, Wednesday: Thursday: 8:00pm: Trivia Night! $5.00 believed to be paying players to attend their you should be able $10.00 burger special! pitchers and apps. Gift certifi- schools and this will not stop until the NCAA to re-enroll back to cates available! $5.00 FREE for allows players to make money off their likeness or school for the fall. If every $25.00 purchased! fredonialeader.org The Leader 13 Park Place 70 Brigham Road Quality. Affordable. All Inclusive. $2,790 per semester. -24hr maintenance -Secured entry with intercom -Off-campus location One Price Covers Everything -All utilities included -Free high-speed internet -Free cable Call 716.393.2993 www.theparkplaceapts.com 14 The Leader March 28, 2018 SPORTS

What makes a great coach?

AIDAN POLLARD to understand how to coach a team to a Next to Mike Krzyzewski of Duke, Assistant Sports Editor Stanley Cup win. Boeheim is the second all time Division Especially in sports like track and field I coach in wins with one school, still A good coach needs to be just that — a or swimming, a head coach may have including the redacted wins. He’s only let coach. never attempted an event in which they the Syracuse Orange miss the tournament Good coaches don’t need ridiculous are expected to produce a champion. twice in consecutive years and has three athletic résumés; they just need to has more underdog wins gold medals for the U.S. Olympic team. understand the game they’re coaching than any other NCAA coach. This season The only other coach with a résumé and understand how to lead a team or alone, in all three of Syracuse’s wins to that can surpass this is Krzyzewski, individual to victory. advance to the Sweet 16, they were slated with a .765 win rate and five national If I were looking to find someone to as the underdogs. championships. coach me in any sport, I wouldn’t look at Boeheim is a hall of fame coach who For that reason, Krzyzewski surpasses whether or not they were a champion, I will rank fourth all time in wins, while Boeheim as the greatest NCAA men’s would look at whether they could see a including redacted victories, and second basketball coach of all time. potential better than the one that I see in all time as a Division I coach. Fab Melo It’s hard to argue against facts like win myself. was an NCAA athlete who played without percentages, but it does say something Coaching comes from the love of a eligibility, forced Boeheim to forfeit a when Boeheim and Krzyzewski are the sport and not necessarily the ability large amount of wins, but that doesn’t two routinely picked to coach the USA to execute everything a coach needs a necessarily discredit of all the wins during Olympic team. player to do. By that I mean that it’s not that period. Coaches don’t need to be all-star necessary for a snowboarding coach to Boeheim has a win percentage of .738. athletes, but they do need to be all-star know how to do a double backflip to He’s one for three in championship games leaders. That is exactly what Jim Boeheim be able to coach an athlete on how to with five Final Fours, seven Elite Eights, is to Syracuse basketball. perform the trick. A hockey coach doesn’t 19 Sweet Sixteens and 33 March Madness need to be comparable to Wayne Gretzky appearances.

“If I were looking to find someone to coach me in any sport, I wouldn’t look at whether or not they were a champion, I would look at whether they could see a potential better than the one that I see in myself.” fredonialeader.org The Leader 15 How we became the Fredonia Blue Devils

MOLLY VANDENBERG two names were selected: Blue Devils and Blue Staff Writer “‘Whether there is Jackets. Blue Jackets was put into use immediately, but Fredonia’s athletic department is referred to now an official Blue was suddenly dropped without an explanation. as the Fredonia Blue Devils, but how did this For the first two games of the 1936-1937 season, nickname actually come to be? Devil seems very neither name was used. With the third game of A lot of this information came to light during much in doubt, as the season, the team was called Blue Devils. The the school’s 175th anniversary celebration back in nickname has stuck to this day. 2001. Joanne Schweik, a past archivist at the Reed this particular demon Schweik also found the first illustration of a Library, researched many of the old volumes of Blue Devil in a Sept. 1952 edition of The Leader. The Leader — these are available for anyone to seems to have assumed “Whether there is now an official Blue Devil look at in the Archives & Special Collections area seems very much in doubt, as this particular of the Reed Library. many forms throughout demon seems to have assumed many forms Schweik found that the Blue Devil name throughout history and at whim,” wrote Schweik. originates back to the 1930s. She wrote in depth history and at whim,’ The athletic department introduced the about her findings. college’s first official Blue Devil logo in 2007. The According to Schweik’s research, Joseph wrote Schweik.” primary mark and a variety of secondary marks Keyser was appointed Director of Physical were drawn by Phoenix Design Works. This Education at the Fredonia Normal School in Sept. intercollegiate team at that time, the men’s official logo was created in consultation with 1935. basketball team, was unofficially referred to as athletic department members and was approved “He became THE sports department. He held Keyserians, Fredonians, Blue-and-White and by university administrators. the first school-wide basketball tryouts and was Normalites. This information was provided with the help probably responsible for the acquisition of new The Jan. 27, 1936 Leader edition announced of Jerry Reilly, the sports information director in blue and white uniforms,” wrote Schweik. a contest to name the basketball team. The Fredonia’s athletic department. Keyser encouraged the addition of Feb. 3, 1936, edition gives the name suggestions, In short, Fredonia has carried the Blue Devil cheerleaders and school spirit among students and the March 10, 1936, edition announced that nickname throughout the past 80 years. in the 1936-1937 academic year. The only

New rule changes coming to college basketball?

COLIN HART extension of the three-point line, four 10-minute men’s NIT. Special to The Leader quarters as opposed to two 20-minute halves, a Although the quality of basketball isn’t at widening of the free-throw lane (the “paint”) to the same level — this tends to happen when the Coverage of the National Invitational coincide with the width used in the NBA and teams aren’t as good — there does seem to be a Tournament, or NIT, often gets lost amid the a few other changes to quicken the pace of the noticeable uptick in scoring. high-stakes and general game. In the NIT second round, for example, the excitement of March “Most of the new The NCAA will average score was 83-74. For comparison, the Madness. review these new March Madness Sweet 16 games saw an average The NIT is a small rules are meant changes and consider score of 77-68. It may not look like much, and consolation for college making them the sample size is small, but the experimental basketball’s also-rans — to make the game permanent in the rule changes seem to be resulting in trends the think of comparing the more contemporary, future. Most of the NCAA would like to see. Famous Idaho Potato Bowl new rules are meant However, there remains the issue of “if it to the College Football becoming more to make the game ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” Also, what about the Playoff. As a result, the more contemporary, complaints of staunch traditionalists, like 32 schools that qualify for consistent with becoming more myself? 20-minute halves and one-and-one the NIT receive even less consistent with foul shots are what make college basketball so recognition than the March professional and professional and unique, at least in my opinion. Madness 16-seeds (UMBC international While it may make sense to create rules and notwithstanding). international regulations. regulations that are more uniform across all This year, however, regulations.” Women’s college levels of competition, I’m sure drastic changes the NCAA has decided to basketball has already won’t be made at the college level for quite experiment with the NIT format a little. The implemented the four- some time. The only change the NCAA should bracket structure remains the same, but several quarter system, and it has resulted in positive seriously consider as of now is terminating their rule changes have been added — a slight reactions and higher scoring totals. It would awful broadcasting deal with Turner Sports. appear that the same thing is happening in the 16 The Leader March 28, 2018 UMBC wins big, makes history in the process

AVRIL KING Social Media Manager and Assistant Sports Editor

In a surprise twist last week, the University of Maryland Baltimore County (UMBC) dominated over University of Virginia 74-54 in the first round of the NCAA tournament. A number 16 seed has not beaten a number 1 seed since 1985, when the competition grew to include the 64 teams that still play today. That’s 135 games where the odds have been against the lowest-seeded teams, and they lost. Yet, as the final score suggests, the game that beat the odds was not even close. Regardless of the fact that the teams were tied 21-21 at halftime, UMBC shot up to take the lead by seven and did not trail once in the second half. Virginia, on the other hand, played in a manner that is uncharacteristic for a dominant team. Even though they have one of the best defenses in men’s college basketball, the Cavaliers let their opponents set the rhythm for the game. As UMBC grew more confident, Virginia seemingly crumbled. In spite of the Retrievers losing in the second round to Kansas State 50-43, fans everywhere have been celebrating. Some are even looking forward to free pizza. As part of their “If Crazy Happens” promise on social media, Little Caesar’s pizza will be handing out free four-slice deep-dish pepperoni pizzas to anyone who comes in from 11:30 a.m. to 1 p.m. on Monday, April 2. Yet, despite this historic upset, Fredonia has been nearly unfazed by the news. “I have not watched many games up to this point,” said Philip Seymore, head coach of the men’s basketball team. “I did not watch that game. I've been on the road recruiting.” The head coach of the women’s basketball Kara Cekuta/Staff Illustrator team, Linda Hill-MacDonald, said that her main interests did not lie with the NCAA tournament. “I really do not follow the men's tournament closely and did not see that game,” she said. “As a women's coach, I am much more inclined to be excited about the upsets that University at Buffalo FOR RENT and Central Michigan had over their opponents in the women's tournament.” 2 Bdrm furnished Apt Even though both teams went home in the tournament’s first weekend, one was welcomed 2018-19 school yr $2,400. per student back with celebrations and the other with per semester utilities shocked silence. Virginia may hope and practice for a better outcome next year, but they will never included Borders Campus change the fact that they were at the brunt of NO SMOKING NO PETS history in March of 2018. Call 629-200-1379 after 5pm fredonialeader.org The Leader 17 NCAA March Madness Tournament Bracket Buster JORDAN PURVIS Special to The Leader

Dreams definitely come true in the month of March, and hearts and No. 11 seed Syracuse State over No. 3 seed Michigan State brackets are ripped into shreds. More than 17 million brackets were filled Jim Boeheim’s Syracuse men’s basketball team dropped jaws with their 55- out on ESPN for the 2018 NCAA men's basketball Tournament Challenge. 53 win against Michigan State in the second round of the NCAA Tournament. There are currently zero perfect NCAA brackets left. Which round of the It was a brutal loss for the Spartans, as they had multiple opportunities to tournament broke your bracket? (Don’t worry about your bracket being win the game. In the final seconds, Syracuse guard Tyus Battle drained a broken because nobody will ever get this perfect.) jumper with 47 seconds left in the second half. Soon after, he drained two free throws with six seconds left to help seal the win. The Orange started No. 16 seed UMBC over No. 1 seed Virginia their journey in the first four, marching their way to the Final Eight and The No. 16 seed, The University of Maryland Baltimore County win subsequently losing to Duke 69-65. against Virginia was probably the biggest upset in the history of college basketball. Before the matchup, Virginia finished the regular season 31-3 and No. 9 seed Florida State over No. 1 seed Xavier were favorites to go all the way winning the NCAA Tournament. According The Seminoles took down Xavier 75-70 in the second round of the to ESPN, 18.5 percent of brackets had Virginia winning the title, the highest NCAA Tournament. What had an influence to Xavier's loss? Turnovers! The percentage of any team. The underdogs, UMBC, ended up defying the odds by Musketeers had 18 turnovers throughout the course of the game. Some of beating Virginia 74-54, eliminating the top seeded team in the first round. The them turned into huge points for Florida State. In addition to Xavier losing never-heard-of-before team UMBC went on to face Kansas State in the second early in the tournament, they will potentially lose their coach, Chris Mack. round and lost by a final score of 50-43. According to reports, Louisville officials met with Mack to discuss the open spot for the men’s head coach position. No. 13 seed Buffalo over No. 4 Arizona The University at Buffalo obliterated a lot of brackets with their win against the University of Arizona in the first round of the tournament. 89-68 No. 11 seed Loyola Chicago, No.1 seed Villanova, No. 3 seed Michigan, and was the final score of the game, not to mention Buffalo made school history No. 2 seed Duke will be heading to San Antonio to face off in the Final Four. as the men’s basketball team earned its first ever tournament win. According Loyola Chicago will play against Michigan March 31 at 6:09 p.m. Afterward, to ESPN, the Wildcats were picked to win in 90.2 percent of brackets filled Villanova will compete against Kansas March 31 at 8:49 p.m. The final two out. Unfortunately, the Bulls were unable to move on in the tournament as teams will play each other in the Championship game on April 2. they lost to Kentucky 95-75 in the second round.

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18 The Leader March 28, 2018

SCALLION THE THE SCALLIONMelissa Neuburger/Special to The Leader

Betsy DeVos is unconvinced that children exist

JACLYN SPIEZIA response? “Photoshop can’t fool me!” immediately became uneasy seeing the cute, Staff Scallywag It seemed like nothing was working that happy children running around and smiling. could prove DeVos was wrong. When a teacher asked DeVos if she intended to Betsy DeVos is in disagreeance with the rest “Don’t you have, like, four children or increase funding for the underprivileged, DeVos of society about the existence of children. The something?” one congressman asked her. grit her teeth and responded, “You think I would controversy started when DeVos was asked about “Oh, you mean my accessories?” she allocate money to help these little monsters?” her future plans as secretary of education. responded, and pulled out a picture of her four After her visit, DeVos had come to a decision. When she responded, Betsy DeVos at first children from when they were younger. “It’s so “I will put money towards deporting those seemed confused, almost as if she had forgotten great that they have automatically individually little shits and keeping schools, like the ones I that she was, in fact, the secretary of education. modified throughout the years!” attended, thriving—and with tennis courts. We It took a few moments, but once she remembered Finally, one principal decided to invite DeVos should keep the money where it is. We wouldn’t she started talking about how she plans to to visit a school. DeVos was hesitant to accept want poor people to have it. God knows what renovate school buildings, with each new the invitation, however. “I’ve never been to they would waste it on!” building including a whirlpool, spa and personal one, so I’m kind of nervous,” she revealed in an chef. One person inquired about her plans for exclusive interview. helping the children, which was when Betsy DeVos eventually DeVos froze, and asked, “What children?” It accepted the invitation turns out that Betsy DeVos does not believe that to prove that she children really exist. She just thought schools was right, and were places for rich people to relax before they that children are are gifted high paying jobs. just myths from “How can you not believe that children exist? fairytales, like It’s absolutely ridiculous!” said Sarah Palin afterTHE fairies and witches. givingSCALLION a lecture about how global warming is Upon entering the really just a theory to market air conditioners. school, sources “What about this picture of my children?” a report that congresswoman asked DeVos, showing her a DeVos picture of three beautiful kids. “Those are midgets!” DeVos exclaimed. “Fake news!” The world tried to figure out how to show DeVos that children do exist. Someone else tried showing DeVos a picture of a little person and also a picture of children together to show her the difference. Her

Melissa Neuburger/Special to The Leader fredonialeader.org The Leader 19 A letter from Regret — everyone’s favorite buzzkill

MORGAN HENDERSON and just knows when to screw up my day. Self EMMA PATTERSON Loathing and I were gonna spend a tasteful Staff Scallywag and Editor of the Scallion weeked in the Poconos, drinking quality wine and trying to forget about our day jobs. That’s kinda To the poor broken body I have the current misfortune of hard to do when you keep forcing me back into your inhabiting (AKA Paul), life with your crap-for-brains decision making.

First of all, I’ve had enough of all of you. Every day it’s the same And I thought Fear had it bad with you college kids. thing. Every time spring break rolls around I have to live in your gross body all over again and, let me tell you, that gets old real fast. The worst part, Paul, is how we’re always together on the car ride home. Road trips are only fun on the way there. You KNOW I mean, it’s like every week with you, Paul. How many times can you this, Paul! On the way back it’s just a lot of headaches, and I’m possibly make the same mistakes? Do you ever think, “Maybe I shouldn’t sick of puking with you guys in rest stop bathrooms. So here’s my drink til I have to get my stomach pumped,” or “maybe I shouldn’t black message for all you college kids in search of a “good time”: out and spend every dime I’ve ever made on shots?” I mean, really, all you college kids are the same. Spring break is just some excuse to blow Please get it together. all your money on pool floats and drinks for a week. I always want to go somewhere nice, like Europe or Costa Rica. If I see one more Miami palm Thanks, tree, it’s gonna get real existential up in here. Regret I don’t have time for it anymore. I never get to go on spring break. Did you ever think about what I wanted to do with my life? No one ever asks me what I want. No one ever thinks about MY needs. When you wrapped yourself in bubble wrap and threw yourself off that makeshift catapult and into the lake, did you even consider my schedule at all?

Nooooo.

I had weekend plans with Self Loathing that day, which you KNOW I’ve been trying to schedule for months. It’s like you have an antenna in the stupid part of your brain that

Mattea Guldy/Assistant Art Director 20 The Leader March 28, 2018 Horoscopes PATRICK BENNETT Staff Scallywag

After attending the Enjoying breakfast Your roommate’s show at BJ’s last week, has never really been pet goat will you were pronounced your style. It’s okay. continue to legally deaf. At least Ease into the granola. defecate on all you don’t have to hear Down that banana. Just surfaces of your the noises from your like that. Oh. Sorry, townhouse until roommate engaging the stars got a little you are unable to in sexual relations any carried away. How navigate through it. longer. embarrassing! Learn to embrace the odor or notify your landlord, who is also a goat.

Climbing Thompson’s You and your The stars have a staircases from Hell significant other grand feeling you is still a challenge. may incessantly may be cutting open You’ll be displeased binge watch “The a library bean bag to to know that a clown Sopranos” this week reveal what’s inside. will now be waiting at and may bring some Spoiler alert: it’s a the top of the stairs roleplaying into the bunch of boxes of to German suplex bedroom. Pretending Little Debbie Swiss you into the next you’re both two giant Rolls. Eat until Debbie dimension. Cheers! slabs of capicola tells you to stop . . . going at it is not sexy!

A worker at Maria’s Go ahead and get that Roses are red, may give away your tattoo you’ve always azaleas be pink, your two slice order by wanted. Avril Lavigne roommate will vomit all accident. Any chances making love to a over your sink. of engaging in hand- chiseled and muscular to-hand combat will Chad Kroeger will be met with someone always be in style. picking up and throwing the ATM at you.

You may gain an You will have an urge Your season is over abundance of to adopt a fat cat and and it feels horrible. Instagram followers this name him “Daughtry” The stars recommend week. These followers after the rock band of refraining from binge are just dudes who the same name led by drinking and exercising are trying to get your American Idol season good thoughts via sister’s phone number. five finalist Chris transcendental Don’t give it to them! Daughtry. Please don’t meditate. Nevermind, do this. just crack a cold one.

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