Tips for Co-Parenting During Covid-19 Quarantine
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TIPS FOR CO-PARENTING DURING COVID-19 QUARANTINE The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic things seriously and may give you all peace of brings extra pressures that can be hard mind. As with all co-parenting, it works best if to manage and cause anxiety in both you are consistent in each home. parents and children. We have gathered Read the government health guidelines about some suggestions that can help separated coronavirus (COVID-19) here. parents work through this difficult time. Be present and considered Stay healthy This is a serious health challenge. Children Show your kids, family, and friends the ways to will have heard lots of information through reduce the risk of spreading of the virus. Wash their schools, networks, and media. Children your hands often and thoroughly, keep the may not be able to process the information in recommended distance when out and about a way that they understand. If you are in an (social distancing). Model simple routines as amicable situation with the other parent have these will become habit forming. conversations with your children about how Let the other parent know that you (and all you will explain situations to them, it is good to members of the household) are following these be using clear similar language in both homes guidelines. This shows that you are taking if you can, especially with younger children. Stepfamilies Australia Strengthening Stepfamilies We acknowledge the traditional owners of the land where we work and pay respects to elders past, present and future. TIPSTIPS FORFOR CO-PARENTINGCO-PARENTING 2 DURINGDURING COVID-19 LOCKDOWN QUARANTINE Older children whose studies and major Adapt for handovers social events such as school formals and Start planning for another neutral and public celebrations have been cancelled may be location that will be suitable for changeovers unsettled and anxious. Talking about this with if the usual school or sporting activities them when they are ready is best. Younger are now not available. Make sure social children can easily become confused and distancing practices can still be maintained. scared. Ensure you sit your children down Activities parents planned to do with children and explain what this means for them, use during school holidays or weekends are likely language that is relevant to their age or stage to be cancelled. Think about whether you will of development. Younger children may benefit be required to work from home and how that from you sitting down with them in a ‘play’ will happen when children are in your care. space and acting the situation out using their If children won’t be able to see the other toys. Yes, this is a serious situation but also parent or other important people, find other try to inject some positives and humour in ways to try and maintain the connection – your explanations. Ensure you let the other including digital communications. Facetime parent know the words you have used and and Facebook messenger are popular how you have explained COVID-19 to your platforms. children so they can replicate this if needed. Meet your obligations Be open Try to be on the same page with the other If a court order or agreement is in place for parent about the things you will each do your parenting matters, you must still meet in your respective households (and in your those terms unless there is a good reason. If wider communities) to limit exposure to the arrangements become unclear or cannot be virus and to shield the children. Have an met because of quarantine, travel restrictions agreed response plan for if your child shows because schools close, or for another any symptoms. Immediately tell the other reason, use common sense to find practical parent. Have your own self-isolation plan solutions to challenges if it is safe to do so. ready and share it with the other parent if Give the other parent plenty of notice and an necessary. Try to engage openly and honestly explanation so they also have time to adjust. with the other parent about your concerns. Also see The Law section below Stepfamilies Australia Strengthening Stepfamilies TIPSGUIDE FOR TO CO-PARENTING 3 DURINGWORKING LOCKDOWN FROM HOME If there has been a risk of exposure to the with both household’s financial capacity and virus, be honest about that. Government fulfilling children’s needs. mandated responses will be required if you have been exposed and will include isolation Be patient and positive or quarantine and may include testing. It is This situation is not going to resolve overnight. important to have an agreed plan in place if a The way we work, socialise, communicate, parent or a child start to display symptoms, and parent will change over the next few ensure this plan also considers if the child is weeks and months. Make a conscious effort sick and can’t/shouldn’t travel to the other to embrace the good and joyful moments in parent’s house. These conversations can be each day, stay connected by phone or social challenging but are much easier before an media to friends or family who can support event/sickness happens then during or after. you, and remember that you are the example for your children at this time. Be compassionate & kind Very few people can be certain about planning Travel restrictions and co-parenting in times of stress and may respond in a (parenting orders) way that seems unreasonable to you. Try to If you or your ex-partner are currently travelling remember that no one really has a guidebook or intend to travel internationally with children for how to plan for or respond to this crisis. in the near future, you may wish to consider Being calm in times of high stress is hard – the following: but you are more likely to reduce the conflict if both parents are making the best effort » Is each parent clear about the scope of possible. Modelling kindness and compassion the travel in the parenting order or previous will show your children that even in times like agreement? these we can be kind. » That the travelling parent is aware of the Note: If you feel like the other parent is acting current travel restrictions with respect to the in a controlling and manipulative way that is countries they and the children are travelling harming you ensure you gather evidence for to and from? this as this will be required when returning to » What is the quarantine period imposed in Court, also reach out for help 1800RESPECT the destination country? Has that been communicated to the non-travelling parent? Help when you can » What information has been shared between People are losing jobs, and some are the travelling and the non-travelling parent? experiencing a reduction in their income. This Both parents should have a copy of may impact child support or the contribution relevant travel documents, children’s travel to other expenses. Try to be understanding of insurance, passports, visas and travel the situation the other parent is in – financial itinerary in case of emergency. worry will probably exist in both households. The message and legacy at the moment » The travelling parent should be aware of the should be ‘in the child’s best interest’, as far children’s vaccinations and medical history as possible, both parents and households in case medical assistance is required while should work together to find solutions that fit travelling. Stepfamilies Australia Strengthening Stepfamilies TIPS FOR CO-PARENTING 4 DURING LOCKDOWN » The travelling parent should carry enough The Family Relationships Advice Line can medication or prescriptions for the children provide information, advice and telephone- if the travel period is extended due to based Family Dispute resolution services quarantine. to assist parents and carers to discuss any issues that arise & help come to an » Decide upon a practical place for the children to live on their return to Australia agreement. The Family Relationships Advice during their 14-day quarantine period. Fines Line can be contacted on 1800 050 321 and penalties now apply to those who do It is important that if parenting orders cannot not self-isolate. be strictly adhered to and are varied by the parents, that the purpose and the spirit of » If travel has been postponed what can be put in place for the travelling parent to travel the Orders are respected when considering with the children at an alternate time? altering your arrangements, and that they are acting in the best interests of the children. The Law There is a specific form for consent, where At present the Family Courts are unlikely new arrangements are outside the terms of to have sufficient resources to hear and an order. Consent order applications can be determine urgent applications regarding filed electronically with the Court. This process international travel arising out of the COVID-19 is quick and is usually conducted without a pandemic. If the children will be travelling with hearing. a parent, it is critical to have travel agreements If you are uncertain about the impact of regarding children in writing. current or upcoming international travel on This is critical when travel plans change, and your parenting agreement or orders, you could the travel becomes outside of the original seek legal advice. scope of your agreement or parenting order. You can contact the Family court Family If an agreement can be reached about new Relationships Advice Line (FRAL) who can parenting arrangements, even if they are to help with free legal advice and information be adjusted for a short period of time, then about services available to assist anyone with have it in writing, even if by way of email, text family relationship issues.