ed990311.qxd 22/03/99 17:53 Page 1 (1,1)

Green Week

11/03/99 The University of Surrey Students’ Newspaper No 960

Debbie Barefacts Green Week Catchpole Budget Special Fencing Star of Briefing p2 Centre Spread Surrey Pride p12 Green 175th Hour Victory Week

elcome to the Green for Goldsmiths College Week Barefacts spe- Wcial! This week is all about raising awareness of Green Issues both on campus n the 26th February, the stu- NUS backed the occupation of the 3. College will now address the com- dent that no other College or administrative building from the outset. munication problem between Senior and more widely, what dents of Goldsmiths College, University can intimidate students in After 175 hours of occupation, the Management and the Students’ Union. GreenSoc are up to, and drink- OUniversity of London, voted financial difficulty into paying fees. Union proclaimed Victory. ing lots of doubles. overwhelmingly at an emergency We see this as only the start of the All of the demands were met: 4. “The college frequently calls on the General Union Meeting to occupy the fight back against fees and the loss of government to increase funding for fur- For a University at the fore- Whitehead building, containing key 1. All letters of termination were ther and higher education.” “ I therefore the grant. We will be calling a front of new technology, we offices of the College. This was as a rescinded fully support calls to ensure that stu- National Conference at Goldsmiths to could be doing a lot better in protest at the termination of the pro- dents, as well as the sector in general, learn the lessons of this victory and terms of green policy and prac- gramme of studies of eight students, as a 2. There are no longer any students being receive an adequate share of the nation’s plan the continuing campaign to tice. Turn to the GreenSoc result of non-payment of fees. 300 stu- threatened with expulsion “I can give you resources, in line with the Government’s centre pages to find out exactly defeat fees and student hardship.” dents occupied the building in support and absolute assurance that no student education pledge to prioritise education what the Union and University of the threatened eight. 110 students will be excluded from college because of at every level.” Ben Pimlott have been up to. The victory was made possible by from the College had not paid their fees her inability to pay fees, provided this can mass student involvement, over- and were also facing the possible threat be shown to be the case.” Ben Pimlott, One of the most achievable Sophie Bolt, General Secretary, said whelming support, unity of purpose, Warden of Goldsmiths College. ways of bringing a little green- of expulsion. “This occupation has set the prece- and determination. ness into your life is to recycle. GreenSoc members have been International Week - A Great Success scouring campus for deposit points, and the handy map (and even handier boxes if you live e kicked off with an ple with a special Arabic smoking in University court) will make Ferzana Khan starring in the Afro-Carribbean Society Gala Night performance International Sports pipe called an ‘argeele’ (Hubbly it even easier! WDay on the 28th of Bubbly). Friends Of Asia with their February with the help of Alex Mendhi (Henna) stall was also a GreenSoc are also interested in Langley, Sports Officer. It was fan- big attraction. All the other stalls wider concerns, not just those tastic to see so many societies par- were equally impressive. relating to campus – apparently ticipating and enjoying themselves there’s a world out there in such a sporting manner. A new Silly Night beyond Yorkies Bridge and addition to this years sports day Silly Night was held with an an Tescos. Green issues are very was arm wrestling which was a international twist, good laugh and topical at the moment, with the laugh and a sober (I think) end to a midweek relaxer to the whole proposed road taxes in London, the evening. international week. and the introduction of Genetically Engineered food, International Quiz D-Day Gala Night both of which have huge envi- Hari’s Bar hosted this ever Now this was the ultimate end to ronmental, economic and popular annual event. Quite a few the week. Why spend hundreds of social repercussions. See the societies came along and it was pounds for a world trip when you centre pages to find out how thoroughly enjoyed by all. We can spend £5 and see it all in a these issues are effecting you. even learnt a few things about span of 5 hours? Gala Night; this other countries. Thanks to Louise is when all societies showed This Green Week isn’t about Tinker who made sure that it was everybody what international piously preaching about envi- all plain sailing and in fact week is all about. We had perfor- ronmental issues, it’s not about Brilliant!! Hey! We even had a mances on culture, traditional sitting around with earnest Welsh team participating,. That’s dances and a thoroughly informa- expressions talking about how the first and last time that I saw tive view of the Athens 2004 terrible the state of the planet them, but their participation was Olympic plans. (I best book this is. It’s about raising awareness good to see and they are most wel- ticket now!) Martial arts from the of topics and events that are come to form a society. Malaysian society and colourful relevant to all our lives. And fashion show from the Friends of we think that one good way to Exhibition Night. Asia society and a live musical do this is to get people to dress Now if you missed this then you show as well. I cannot thank in green and bring along a can seriously should kick yourself real- everybody enough for making it to recycle at Silly Night on ly hard. I have never seen the union such a great success. Wednesday. See you there! so colourful and full of life. The Jay Darbar Arabic society attracted lots of peo- Overseas Students Secretary News 1&2 n Letters 3 n SEX 4 n Ents 5 n GREEN WEEK 6/7 Music 8/9 n What’s On/Films 10 n Personals 11 n Surrey Pride 12 ed990311.qxd 22/03/99 17:53 Page 2 (1,1)

2 11/03/99

The Week In Review Your Budget by James Buller

uestion: Why do we put c) Sabbaticals that need to be care what happens to the people hancellor Gordon Brown delivered the govern- so much emphasis on present for reports. who lives in Iraq anymore. Any ment’s latest budget to the House Of Commons on Editor Qhaving quoracy at our news reports we receive are Tuesday. Speculation, rumours and leaks were as Student Council meetings? These groups make up the generally uninformative and C Tom Sherwen rife as ever before the announcement, but some of the minority of the turnout…..and politically biased towards the ([email protected]) Low turnout at Union meetings that’s a pretty small group of West’s ‘strong stance’ on the economic changes still came as a big surprise. isn’t a new problem here, believe people. The majority of the issue. To the West the war isn’t The Chancellor unveiled a new approach to income tax and Deputy Editor it or not students have been lazy ‘audience’ are made up of peo- about what happens to the peo- gits for as long as we can remem- ple who have an interest in the ple, they are just the unfortu- brought in measures to encourage businesses to be more Vacant ber. We pride ourselves in this result of a vote (societies, peo- nate innocent victims who get environmentally friendly. Below is how the budget will country on our superb democrat- ple running for positions etc.) caught up in all of our wars and affect the contents of Surrey students wallets. Following are Arts Editor ic system of government. The are forced to take second place the key points which affect us as students: same is also true of our Union, all The next thing to look at is to the ‘important’ issues, such Daniel Jones decisions should be made by the what gets discussed. Once as the onslaught of democracy ■ No change for alcohol ([email protected]) majority, hence the concept of again in our experience topics and control of our worlds oil Union quoracy. If we truly usually focus on detailed supply. believe in this democratic system aspects relevant to only a few ■ No change on VAT News Editor then why don’t we stick to our students, but once in a while Finally we are being told what James Buller principles and tell people to go the regulars at Student Council happens to all our hard earned ■ Pack of 20 cigarettes up 17.5p home at inquorate meetings? are shocked to find they have to beer money. Show Me The ([email protected]) This way people may start to decide on big issues affecting a Money Week is long overdue ■ Small car road tax down £55 take an interest when they realise lot of students…and guess and is now happening in that nothing is getting done anymore. what? They’re not quorate! most superfluous of weeks, Features Editor ■ Basic rate of income tax down to 22p Nick Walsh week 10. This is something stu- Of course this is all based on The problem is the people who dents have wanted for ages, and ([email protected]) our strong democratic princi- attend are either specifically it seems that the dinosaur of ■ Income tax to be paid on incomes over ples. We could just decide to interested in a topic to be dis- bureaucracy (the Union) has £1500 at 10p in every £1 Music Editor dump our principles and have cussed that meeting, or are just finally got something to offer the union run by a dictatorship. political boffins (we don’t us. A very good idea, a week of ■ No National Insurance for earnings under £87 Andrew Thomas The problem with this method include ourselves in this cate- discounts to help ‘sweeten’ us ([email protected]) however is that we would need gory by the way). Maybe cer- up while we read how 12.34% ■ Leaded petrol up 4.25p a litre a quorate meeting in order to tain topics should have differ- of our beer pound gets sent to ■ Unleaded petrol up 3.79p a litre change our form of govern- ent quorum requirements, per- aid gun smugglers in the ■ Sports Editor ment…….(oh the irony) haps certain topics of general Middle East? Or perhaps just Ultra-low sulphur diesel up 4.96p a litre. ■ Paul Cliff interest should be advertised to an honest attempt at getting Diesel up 6.14p a litre, We could also put some the campus population (the people to come along ([email protected]) thought towards the problem majority of which do not even and enjoy/inform themselves. ■ £100m for university laboratories and equipment. for once. We should begin by know what Student Council is). Either way, we are definitely Commercial Manager looking at who does go to the not going to be cheaply bribed ■ £500m for the NHS casualty departments. Vacant Student Council meetings. In O.K. enough of the Union for by bar discounts and dancing ■ our experience a student coun- now. Last week Ahmed Ameen girls. Your trusty reporters are £170m for crime prevention. cil meeting usually consists of asked us what the world wants going to abstain from any such ■ More money for public transport from the Iraqi people. This may bribes while we read about the a) people having a quiet drink have been a rhetorical question, student / Union bar finance Reaction to the budget was customarily mixed. in the Union, but we want to answer it any- transfer co-operative. b) small groups of politically way. Unfortunately the only Conservative leader William Hague described Gordon Brown as interested underground student conclusion we can come to is Laurence Stones and “the pick-pocket chancellor who shakes your hand with a smile Deadline for Publication renegades, that the world doesn’t really Samad Madude. after he has stealthily removed your wallet.” Monday 10am Paddy Ashdown, leader of the Liberal Democrats accused the gov- SKILLS DEVELOPMENT PROGRAMME ernment of stealing his party’s policy’s. He stood up in the Commons to say “If I sound a little grumpy it is because I frankly Bare Facts is an editorially independent he final Skills Development session led by Rodney Bates and Nevin “Bob” admit it is extremely frustrating to hear someone else singing newspaper, published by the University of Surrey Students' Union of the year will take place on Moledina - SU President 97/98. It takes snatches of our song but doing it so completely out of tune” Communications Office. Wednesday 17 March on the area of place between 2pm and 4pm in the Grant The views expressed within the paper T Friends of the Earth spokesman Charles Secrett cautiously wel- are those of individual authors, and do “Developing Skills after University” The Mitchell Room, Students’ Union. comed the action taken. “This Budget represents the Government’s not necessarily represent the views of the Editor, the Editorial Board, the aim of this session will be to identify the first halting steps towards green economics. We take a parental University of Surrey Students' Union or skills that students have and consider how For more details or to sign up, contact pride in this infant’s tentative progress.” the University of Surrey. This publication may not be reproduced they can be used in future. This is particu- Rodney Bates on ext. 3177 or e-mail in whole or in part, stored in any form, The responses of the regulars in the Barefacts office was also var- copied or distributed, without the express larly relevant to final years considering [email protected]. Workshop is free permission of the publisher. career options and second years about to of charge and certificates for attending will ied. Using the BBC website we calculated whether we would be All submissions must include the author's now be better or worse of this year. name and Union or Staff Number. embark on placement. The session will be be issued in due course. Submission is no guarantee of Tom Sherwen +£2.04 publication. Ben McCauley -£1.20 Anonymous and Pseudonymous articles will not be published. CHAT Ben McCormack +£2.23 Bare Facts reserves the right to edit SKILLS DROP-IN Alex Langley-£1.79 submissions. TRAINING James Buller - no change W ednesdays 2pm - 5pm ALL CLUBS (Alex+Girlfriend) +£3.66!! Printed by If you want to see how you fare go to: East End Offset (TU), Library Seminar Room AND SOCIETIES Bow, London, E3 3LT The final training session Have you been dropped in it? for clubs and societies is © USSU Communications You’ve been given a report to write, but you’ve never taking place on Thursday Office 1998 done one before. Or maybe that essay just won’t come 11 March between 6pm together... and 8pm. This will be in As part of the university’s Skills Project, we have set up the Grant Mitchell Room informal ‘drop-in’ sessions for students, to help you out. and is for new and old Bare Facts committee members of all These do not have a fixed schedule, but are there to sup- Union House clubs and societies to University Of Surrey port anyone who may wish to ask for advice on a particu- have a better understand- Guildford lar issue. ing of their role. The Surrey The Skills Project Team will be on hand on Wednesday informal session will look GU2 5XH afternoons in the Library Seminar Room (opposite the at the roles of chair and Information Desk) treasurer as well as Union Tel: 01483 259275 from 2pm - 5pm. accounts, fund-raising Fax: 01483 534749 Please watch out for more information - we also have a and promoting your soci- ety to students. Free of email: website: http://www.surrey.ac.uk/Skills or you can e-mail us: [email protected], charge - just turn up on [email protected] the night. [email protected] ed990311.qxd 22/03/99 17:53 Page 3 (1,1)

11/03/99 3 Letters to the Editor Attitude to Special Needs Council - Let’s be realistic Dear Editor, special needs”. provision for disabled students. Dear Editor, the sabb job descriptions, if this could be overcome, but I would like to answer the points I am writing in reply to they hadn't been passed at neither am I going to criti- raised in the letter from Andrew I have just been appointed as Head The University has agreed to pro- Andy Gale’s letter in last the meeting in principle, in cise either. It's all too easy, Healy published in Bare Facts on of an enhanced Student Advice & vide a special needs Learning weeks BareFacts about the full knowledge that they as Mr Gale has shown, to 25 February. Information Service. This is a Resource Centre based in the Student Council meetings. could be amended at a later berate things without giving new post which reflects the com- library at a cost of some £25,000 date, then they wouldn’t any advice on how to I disagree that one cannot change mitment which the University has and we hope that this will open in It is all very well for him to have been able to go to the improve them. Student towards the provision of appropri- people’s attitudes towards disabili- time for the beginning of the next criticise the lack of atten- University for approval and Council is an invaluable ate advice and information for all ty. The Student Advice & academic year. Facilities will dance and the subsequent the funding for their posi- mechanism for involvement students. We have moved from a Information Service runs regular include a brailling machine, scan- ways in which the meetings tions, as I understand it, in decision making, and with corner in the Students Union to disability awareness sessions and ner, voice-activated software, a are forced to be run. What would have been lost. a little tinkering could our own newly furbished suite of we are expanding that work to large screen PC and dyslexia sup- would be more helpful would become the forum for debate offices. We do much more than invite disabled students to partici- port software. be if he could actually offer The other suggestion put for- that we all want it to be. ‘just listen’ (although hearing pate in future programmes. The some workable and realistic ward by Mr Gale is to give what someone tells us about their suggestions about how we us more “than a few days So before you start to criti- University’s Equal Opportunities In addition, the Higher Education needs is important). can change the situation. notice” about the meetings. cise Mr Gale, I'd love to hear Policy makes it clear that every Funding Council for England are Umm, sorry, but haven't we what your solutions are. I effort will be made to avoid dis- encouraging universities to bid for We have one full time and two part Nobody wants decisions all known since the begin- think it's also worth men- crimination on many grounds, an extra £6 million over the next 3 time members of staff whose role made and motions passed by ning of the semester when tioning the old adage “peo- including disability, and in this years for ‘improving provision for is to exclusively support students such a small number of stu- and where the meetings were ple in glass houses shouldn't context I would hope that all mem- disabled students’. This University with special needs, including writ- dents. The figures cited in going to be? throw stones”. We’ve heard bers of the University community is currently looking at ways of ing and applying admissions pro- Lyndon Hill's letter in the an awful lot about the would agree that discrimination accessing some of those funds to cedures, arranging on site accom- same edition are of course Yes, there have been prob- Postgrad's Association this and offensive language are improve our services further. modation, making exam arrange- appalling. Mr Gale suggests lems with the Student year, run by Mr Gale; I'd unacceptable. that if given the chance to love to know how many of ments, helping applications for We would be the first to admit Council meetings this year. “debate something we actu- its members turn up to Disabled Students Allowance and that there is still a long way to go Lacklustre presentation, The University’s Disability ally give a toss about” then Student Council Meetings. claiming other funding, providing to make the University a fully inadequate advertising and Statement was published in 1996 more people would attend. Let's all see if we can stop dyslexia assessments, one to one inclusive environment but let’s a frankly shambolic (in response to the 1995 Disability What perhaps does he mean whinging about the things learning support, organising a us not ignore the considerable demeanour. But all this will Discrimination Act) and it sets out by this? Call me old fash- that are going wrong, appre- cheap loan scheme for PCs, progress that has been made. We hopefully change with the “the University’s commitment to ioned, but I think the deci- appointment of a new Union ciate what's going well, and arranging volunteers and mentors, look forward to welcoming and improving and enhancing provi- sions re: the new sabbatical Chairperson to run them. work constructively to tackle advising on benefits, liaising with supporting many more disabled sion for meeting the special needs positions “worth giving a On a wider scale, like so what's not. Schools. They are also involved in students to the University of of its students.” It directs students toss about”. This is some- much else at the University long term schemes for policy Surrey in the future. to this Service “....as the primary thing that will be changing they suffer from a more Yours sincerely, development and researching into Helen Stollar point of contact for students with the face of the Union and intrinsic lack of interest. I'm regional collaboration with the Head of the Student Advice & special needs and staff seeking how it is run In response to not going to pretend to offer Andrew Jackman South East region for appropriate Information Service information and advice regarding his comment about passing any grand solutions on how £££ MONEY - DO YOU HAVE ENOUGH? Do any of these situations apply to you? WE MAY BE ABLE TO HELP YOU APPLY FOR: ■ Final year student and running out of money ACCESSFUNDS* In general open to UK students ■ Unexpected costs leaving you in difficulty PLACEMENT FUND* Open to all UK, EC & International students TOP-UP LOANS “New” first year & PGCEA students who are student loan borrowers ■ “New” first year & PGCEA students whose budgets were underestimated * next deadline: 18th March 1999 ■ Financial concerns regarding your Placement Come and see us at: The Student Advice & Information Service, ■ General money worries Wey House 2, Surrey Court. Tel 879261 email: [email protected] Dr Russ MACS - Twist & Shout

thought I would interrupt my week- wister and ly Bare Facts column to bring you Karaoke were Isome great news. We have just fin- Tthe `highlights’ ished collecting information about the going on in the Hall destinations of last year’s graduates and Bar last Thursday . The have found, for the fourth consecutive events signal the con- year, an incredibly successful result. tinuing success of the 74% went straight into employment, a Maths and Computing further 20% went on to some form of Society, MACS. postgraduate study, and only 1% were unemployed. The other 5% were either The student version overseas students returning home or of the Maths and graduates taking time out to travel or Computing put their feet up for a while! Although Departments was keen towards an end of year dance/pub crawl we won’t know how other universities to build on the excellent results of our etc. - details to be announced soon. have performed for a few months, it cer- recent charity event where we raised tainly looks as if we shall be at or near £215 for National Kidney Research, Many thanks to all the students, post- the top of the lowest unemployment grads and lecturers who helped make league once again. Liz Finigan took control of the night, the evening an entertaining one. The if not herself as 50 students took an MACS committee hope to make the Of course, you may think that’s all his- evening off from sums and keyboards. end of year bash even better. tory and what’s really important is what Jason Chan amazed all with his happens to you. All I can say is that Chinese Karaoke while others simply Surrey graduates can enter the job mar- left the audience dazed. The contests ket secure in the knowledge that from last months Blind Date returned employers value their degrees and their “to tell us how they got on” and pro- experience. It goes without saying that vided “a lorra lorra laffs”. Games of you still need to take your job hunting Twister also helped everyone get seriously. Poorly completed application caught up evenings atmosphere. forms or interviews inadequately pre- Photo’s of the goings on are available pared for are just as likely to lead to at our website “http:www.mcs.sur- rejections. However, a measure of self- rey.ac.uk/Student/MACS/ “ assurance is a great asset and Surrey’s employment record gives future gradu- The proceeds from the night are going ates good reason to be confident. ed990311.qxd 22/03/99 17:54 Page 4 (1,1)

4 11/03/99 Slipping up in the SAS - making sewage sexy banana war

ou’ve heard of the moral high-ground that it may urfer’s Against Sewage water which has shown that http://www.sas.org.uk they grapes of wrath? Well, have had. These markets have differ from many green people who use the sea (such as will be more than happy to fill Yprepare to let loose the specifically been chosen Sorganisations in that they surfers and us sailors) are far you in on all the gory details bananas of war! because the USA is the only manage to package their envi- more likely to suffer from of sewage treatment from filtra- luxury goods market in which ronmental message in an attrac- sewage related infections than tion to faecal coliforms. The gloves have finally come small European exporters can tive and fashionable way, a style those who don’t. off in a dispute which has been afford to trade. Scottish cash- that many environmental groups Even if you don’t want to simmering in international mere producers, for example, could probably learn something The yucky facts. actively join the campaign the trade relations for over six now face a 100% tariff on their from. However after talking to • There are up to 100 different nice surfer at the SAS stand did years and which would proba- goods export which effectively the campaigners on the SAS human viruses that can be tell me there was plenty of bly have received far less press shuts the market for them, stand at the Sail Boat and found in sewage, including things that everyone could do, coverage if its subject didn’t threatening jobs. Windsurf Show I realised that Salmonella, Hepatitus A and starting by realising that the loo provide such great headline behind the nice T-shirts and cool Poliomyelitis. is not a sort of automatic waste tal bores endlessly preaching possibilities. Jobs would also be in doubt in logos, SAS is definitely more • Every year 2 million tonnes of disposal unit. In many areas recycling, they are a great the Caribbean. Without a guar- about sewage than surfing and toxic waste are dumped into the what is flushed down the loo example of a group of people The problems are something as anteed market some in the EU, their serious message about seas around Britain. only goes on to form a grue- who through understanding the follows: United States corpora- including a Spanish commis- sewage is backed up by some • Despite a reported ten years of some effluent cocktail of importance of image are man- tions own at least four banana sioner, fear that the banana pro- equally serious statistics. water company clean-ups many bleaches, sanitary wear, deter- aging to do something about companies in Latin America ducers may switch to narcotics, beaches are still awash with gents and condoms (that your improving the environment that and provide around sixty five a far more profitable trade. Who are they? human excrement, condoms very own sailing team might immediately effects them percent of bananas to the EU Although America denies that SAS are apolitical and non-prof- and other sewage related soon be swimming in). whilst gaining a great deal of markets. America believes that any jobs would be affected, in it making. Their aim is to cam- debris. respect in the process. the EU is favouring former particular those based in the paign for clean seas, beaches • SAS argue that the only solu- What is particularly impressive colonies in the Caribbean by USA . and inland waters. Among other tion is for all sewage to be fully about the whole SAS campaign L Endean. (University of guaranteeing banana growers things they run a data base of ill- treated and if you contact them is that they manage not to come Surrey Sailing Team). in those areas somewhere There are, already, signs that, ness caught from contaminated on (01872) 553001 or across as a load of environmen- between nine and twenty five whatever the decision of WTO, percent of the EU banana mar- the banana war may be escalat- ket and that this is “not fair”. ing. The American ambassador Surrey students desperate for sex has been called into the The matter has been take to the Department of Trade and World Trade Organisation Industry in London, while he Union was in a frenzy early night. The various flavored Surrey Court. ing service. This stall too was (WTO), but, according to the Madeline Albright, who is to last Wednesday as it condoms went down a treat. The Nightline also had a stall in the very successful and we even EU, just in case the decision politics what Kate Adie is to became clear that Surrey problem of how to extract/ screw main Union giving out leaflets managed to recruit some more goes against them, America is journalism, flew in for talks T students are desperate for sex. more condoms out of the oblig- on subjects as diverse as restau- volunteers. already imposing tariffs on with Robin Cook. New points The evidence was gathered ing Nightliners was apparently a rants in Guilford to dealing European goods including cash- of contention are forcing the when last weeks Silly Night matter of constant debate in the with stress. The stall also sold If you need any of Nightline’s mere products, chandeliers, pens EU into importing American goers we treated to the benefits girls toilets. Several blokes also personal attack alarms for £1. services then come to our office and coffee makers. hormone-injected beef; noisy of a Nightline publicity stunt. came back, eager for more. In all The aim was to raise awareness or call 4949 or 01483 532710. Another matter of interest, but aeroplanes and the issue of we distributed well over 400 of where, why and what If you want to join up then of (dubious?) relevance, is that trade with China. Nightline volunteers spent the condoms. Although on the night Nightline’s provides i.e. those please do likewise or come to the “Chiquita” American night handing out free condoms the rule was one condom per outlined above: free contracep- our weekly meetings in TB12A banana corporation has a big As usual in trade wars, the con- to students as they left the Union person, normally Nightline will tion, free information and of at 6pm on Thursdays. funding role in American poli- sumer stands to lose out. for Bojangles, or possibly an give out 3 each from it’s office in course our confidential listen- tics. The whole episode sounds Comparisons between like something out of “Yes Caribbean and Latin American Minister”. bananas have shown Caribbean bananas to be smaller and “Show me the money” - Week 10 Although vaguely comical, the sweeter. If the banana market is slippery issue, as Leon Brittan, flooded with well-publicised the (British) European American-owned bananas then Commissioner who deals with it may be that Caribbean relations with the USA said bananas cannot compete, and “leaves a bad taste” while a freedom of choice will be lost. senior British politician (seri- ously) described the situation There are already sceptics who as “totally bananas”. The prob- say that the absolute rule of lem is that, in their own way, free trade is a cover for both sides are right. American world market domi- nation, and while the world The USA is correct, legally. waits for the WTO’s judge- The EU’s guaranteed market is ment, perhaps we should against free trade rules, and reflect that this is an issue of there is every chance that the fair trade for all, not just bil- WTO will find against the EU. lion-dollar corporations, and However, the pre-emptive that sometimes maybe social imposition of tariffs on responsibilities should come European goods, even in the before money... rather unusual market niches that have been chosen for Jo Keech restriction, loses the USA any ed990311.qxd 22/03/9917:54Page5(1,1) 11/03/99 Saturday Friday Thursday Wednesday Tuesday Monday Sunday Saturday Friday 20th 19th 18th 17th 16th 15th 14th 13th 12th Unlucky Object;Afullmoon. order. or apsychiatricwardisin appetite, maybeatriptoTescos excuse foryoursavage cheese around...Drinkisno There reallyisn’t enough stop eatingeverybody’s food?! You’ve beenanaughtyso&so, 21st April-21stMay make upstories. Unlucky Object;Peoplewho Lisa...yawn, yawn”-Moonda). telling yourselfthatLunar talented,....(“you justkeep the mostattractive,intelligent, everybody knowsthatAriesis despair asthejokeisonthem, that’s notveryniceisit?Don’t People keepbeingcrueltoyou, 21st March-20thApril Unlucky Object;Aski. Ah, bless. right thinginthesituation. you’re incapableofsayingthe ways, peoplelikethefactthat your mouth.Don’t changeyour when you’vegotyourfootin It mustbedifficult tostandup 20th February-20thMarch fri-sat 12.50(notsun)15.1017.3019.5522.20 sun-thurs 12.05(notsun)14.5017.4020.30 mon-tues&thurs 12.1514.4517.1520.20 sat 12.0012.3014.3014.4517.1519.45 sun-thurs 12.1514.0016.0019.0020.00 sun-thurs 12.1514.0016.0019.0020.00 Fri Mar5th-ThursMarch11th 1999 fri-sat 12.15(notsat)15.1018.3021.20 fri/mon-thurs 12.3015.1518.0020.45 fri-sat 13.0013.4517.0019.3020.45 mon-thurs 13.0015.3018.1521.00 TAURUS sun-thurs 12.1515.0517.5520.45 sun-thurs 12.1515.0018.0020.45 PISCES sun 12.0012.4514.3015.1517.45 ARIES fri-sat 13.1516.0018.5021.50 fri-sat 13.0016.0019.0022.00 fri-sat 12.0015.0018.0021.00 WWW.ODEON.CO.UK mon-thurs 12.4515.1517.45 fri 12.0014.3017.1519.45 fri 12.1514.4517.4520.30 sat 11.00 13.00,sun12.30 sun-thurs 12.3017.30 sun-thurs 15.0020.15 0870 50007 sat-sun 18.0020.45 Shakespeare inLove The ThinRedLine fri-sat 12.3018.30 fri-sat 15.3021.15 This Year’s Love sun 17.1520.20 sun 15.3021.00 Life isBeautiful Life isBeautiful You’ve gotmail sat 17.4520.30 Lunar LisaandMysticMoonda Urban Legend Urban Legend Patch Adams Pleasantville A Bug’s Life Madeline Unlucky Object;Acomb. getting readyinthemornings. need tospendalittlemoretime from yourmind).You may teeth (erasethatrabiesscare is foryourhairandnot mousse (asthenamesuggests) moment, rememberthathair You lookabitstrangeatthe 21st July-23rdAugust Unlucky Object;Everything. for example. playing tagwithyourshadow something productive,suchas your negativeenergies into the moment.Try andchannel ty glumaboutmostthingsat above you.You’re feelingpret- A darkraincloudishovering 22nd June-23rdJuly Unlucky object;Tescos. eyes boiled. your carrotspeeledand you cansee.Inthefuturekeep lightswitch. That’s betternow the moment,turnon You’re beingkeptinthedarkat 22nd May-21stJune CANCER GEMINI LEO way tospendaSundayevening. provoking filmofthe90s.Asuperb in themostwatchableandthought- performance (hisgreatestroletodate) produces anunbelievablyconvincing twenty years.JimCarrey, asTruman, filming tohitOFU'sscreeninthelast This isthegreatestpieceofmodern out ofthesky. his existencewhenaspotlightfalls of Seahavenhebeginstoquestion he walksthroughthefictitioustown he doesn'tknowthatisinit.As millions aroundtheworld.However hour TVsoapoperabroadcastto he hasbeenpartofatwenty-four as ababy. Forthepastthirtyyears adopted byatelevisioncorporation cerns Truman Burbankwhowas The film'sfundamentalstorycon- God-like creatorofTruman. Oscar forhisroleasChristof,the who hasbeennominatedforan film alsostarsEdHarris(Apollo13) OFU film,TheTruman Show. The Dumber, LiarLiar)inthisweek's same forJimCarrey(Dumband thought impossibleanddonethe He hasnowdonewhatmanypeople serious intheDeadPoet'sSociety. Peter Weir madeRobinWilliams' award winning'SecretsandLies'. Mike Leighdirectedthemulti- Sunday 14thMarch, The Truman Show, March, 8pm,LTG Wednesday 17th Career Girls, 8pm, LTG fee withsometoffee. Unlucky Object;Acupofcof- be moregentle,andthink. you needtobenicerpeople, nice wasn’t it?...nowyoutry... we likealittlepoetry. Thatwas Tea isgreat,wedrinkteaand 24th October-22ndNovember talks aboutsandwichesalot. Unlucky Object;Apersonthat kiss..mmm. that personyoulikea tasty. You’re tastytoo,sogive you’re vegetarian)becauseits and lettucenexttime(unless chicken sandwiches,trybacon You’ve beeneatingtoomany 24th September-23rdOctober string. cups attachedbyapieceof Unlucky Object;Two plastic flash (Ah-ah)inthefuture. proud ofyourself,don’t beso that’s fast).Now, Ihopeyou’re £100 notesperweek(ouch disappearing atthespeedof student loanscompany).Its of cash(kindlydonatedbythe haven’t beenwatchingthatwad phone’s beencutoff”. You “I justcalled...tosay... your 24th August-23rdSeptember SCORPIO VIRGO LIBRA O FU OFU boxintheUnionpostroom. or byplacingaslipofpaperinthe Tickets areavailablefromtheunion must seefilm. Independent BritishCinema.A films thatputhimattheforefrontof everyday lifeenablehimtomake notice thesmallestnuancesof a superbtaleoflife.Hisabilityto Mike Leighhasproduced,yetagain, and relationshipsatcollege. this harshdramatoshowtheirlives dent years.Flashbacksareutilisedin something tothemduringtheirstu- visit peopleandplacesthatmeant for years.Duringtheweekendthey together havingnotseeneachother lege friendswhospendaweekend The storycentresaroundtwocol- Director's visionsbeautifully. British talentwhoportraythe cast includesabroadselectionof Girls, whichisequallygood.The bring youhislatestfilm,Career OFU andtheArtsDepartmentnow (well youareawatersign). Unlucky Object;Apuddle ‘exciting’ stories. when theytellyoualltheir Kiplings tokeepyouawake have pleantyofteaandMr surprise visit!Makesureyou seen forawhilewillmake week someoneyouhaven’t Roll outtheredcarpetsasthis 21st January-19thFebuary ate. Unlucky Object:Apostgradu- next yearsfreshers. about themandhangoutfor scraped off theirshoe....forget you likesomethingthey your brain.They’retreating ness forsomeoneoverpower two. You’re lettingyourfond- quite bad,soopenawindowor Love isintheair, anditsmells 22nd December-20thJanuary Unlucky Object;Numbertwo. tions. more agreeableinsocialsitua- four isquiteniceandalittle that greatandbesides,number about numberone?You’re not Why isityoukeepthinking 23rd November-21stDecember SAGITTAURUS CAPRICORN AQUARIUS 5 ed990311.qxd 22/03/99 17:54 Page 6 (1,1)

6 11/03/99 Green Week ‘99 Fancy a Ride?

he Student Environmental Network (SEN) have been advertising a new way to travel. “Liftshare.com” is Ta website service for students which provides cheap travel and reduces traffic. It puts students travelling to the same destination in touch with each other, allowing them to travel together and share the cost. Similar projects are run- ning successfully in Germany and Belgium, and you to can experience the benefits in just three easy steps...

1) Get on the Internet. Go to http://www.lift- share.com

2) Enter your travel details. The system will auto- How Green is my University? matically search for all possible matches and dis- play these on your screen. o just how green are Thames Water have been The new accommodation at we? We’ve undertaken digging about down by the Gill Avenue is being built to Off Campus 3) Select the suitable traveller and contact them Ssome research to lake and doing a feasibility a similar standard. One of Accommodation examine the environmental study. They are investigat- the ‘problems’ of living on by email. You will be then arrange with them a policies and practices of the ing the possibilities of a campus is that there is no Living off campus can give a suitable collection point. Ask them to bring their different aspects of the deep water hole, to supply incentive to be green. We greater incentive to be greener student ID with them, take yours, and be sure to University, starting with... water to the campus, thus don’t have to pay the bills - why waste your beer money on your electricity bill? match it to the information given on email. saving energy. for long showers, kitchen lights left on all night or The Union Recycling is also possible – SEN argue that membership of the “liftshare.com” website music playing when you’re One obvious area of concern Catering Facilities anyone living in the Guildford will provide a secure means of contacting fellow travellers. not in. This means that a is the use of ‘floppies’ (plas- The Hall Restaurant recy- Park Avenue direction has to It will be cheap, green and easy. Further information is massive amount of energy is tic glasses), and more specif- cles bottles, plastics, paper. walk past the recycling point available on the “liftshare.com” homepage. being wasted that could so ically what happens to then The Library Restaurant easily be saved without any at the top of the big car park afterwards. For Green however recycles nothing. effort at all. And having by Uni Court. And we all Week, the Union are investi- Furthermore, they have showers together is a great have to go to Tescos – who Saint Silly Night gating the possibilities of stopped using any crockery way of being green! The have a handy recycling point recycling them at the end of at all. Apparently this is Accommodation Handbook in the car park. the night, to see how feasible because the washing should include a section on Turns Green! this might be for the future. machine has broken down. how to be energy efficient in The general message from A new development planned Apparently a new one is on halls. We are working on asking awkward questions is the introduction of two order. Apparently it will be this for the future. and scouting around cam- Silly Night bins in each office in the here in May. pus is that on a scale of one Wednesday Week 9 union, one for paper, and Recycling facilities for halls to green, we’re generally not doing too badly, but 17th March one for everything else. The We have contacted the head are minimal. However, paper will then be recycled of the new catering com- with the help of Green Soc, that things could be so doubles & mixer for a pound at a new paper skip, hope- plex, to ask him what the the Union, and a little tiny much better. Even the fully in the loading bay out- arrangements for recycling effort, it is becoming alot briefest of glances at the Bring a can to recycle on your way in side the Union. will be. We are awaiting a easier! The explanation for huge overflowing skips response. so few recycling points is from one hall of residence & that Waste and Central after just one weekend is come dressed in Green The University On Campus Services could not cope. very demoralising. & However, we are asking for Labs with equipment running Accommodation them to have a bigger budget There are steps that need to order your drinks with an Irish accent. through the night are consid- be taken by the University Well, some good news so that they would be able erable consumers of energy. to, and introduce recycling and by the Union to improve (it’s St Patrick’s Day that day so you The Head of Energy and here, but still room (!) for the situation, and the improvements. The Halls points into (at least) each have not excuse not to!) Efficiency at the University court reception. In the President of the Union is is currently liasing with here are in general achiev- currently working with the ing better than the guide- meantime, the very helpful Heads of Schools and others people from Green Soc are University Energy and to look at ways in which lines from the DETR in Efficiency Manager on a A student from Surrey called Dean terms of energy efficiency. experimenting with a energy could be saved. scheme to put nice labelled campus wide awareness Said “Throwing out cans is obscene” Twyford Court is designed campaign. But there are to be energy efficient, with boxes into kitchen to make it Academic buildings are being alot easier to then take waste small things that we can all So why not drop tins examined for their energy timers on the lights, walls do. Start by coming to Silly built for heat retention, to the nearest recycling In the recycling bins efficiency, so depertments point. And if you still can’t Night, bring along a can for will have even greater incen- double glazing and roof recycling, and make the And help make the campus more green! insulation. be arsed then we’ll even tive to be green in the future. come and collect it for you! world a better place.... ed990311.qxd 22/03/99 17:54 Page 7 (1,1)

11/03/99 7 University Court Recycling

s part of our campaign to map, either by University Court So why are we only picking on dence to the main bank of recy- (with the help of Guildford promote recycling on cam- residents of a member of GreenSoc. University Court residents, I cling bins (plus they’ve got Borough Council) that the amount Apus, GreenSoc are plan- hear you ask. Could it be that those bloody great kitchens of material being recycled ning to install three boxes into There are 42 kitchens in University we’re jealous of them because which can accommodate three through the bins has increased each University Court kitchen. Court, giving a total of 126 boxes they’re a bunch of gits who have little boxes quite comfortably). significantly following this cam- These are intended for storing which Tesco are obligingly allowing posh new rooms and en suite paign then we can use that evi- glass, paper and magazines (but us to scrounge from them. Due to showers and we want to make And what’s the point of the exer- dence to (hopefully) persuade the not cardboard) and tins. the scale of the operation, the boxes their lives a bit more complicat- cise? The point, of course, is to University to provide local recy- are still being collected and installed ed? Well, partly, yes. But the reduce the amount of waste that cling facilities for all areas of Once full, the boxes can then be at the time of writing, but we hope to main reason for choosing we send to the landfill sites. campus. GreenSoc would like to taken and emptied in to the recy- have most of the kitchens done University Court for this trial is There is a second point however, thank the residents of University cling bins shown on the recycling before Thursday of Week 8. that it’s the closest court of resi- which is that if we can prove Court for their help in this matter. We are what we eat..?

ne of the most controversial and sin- inadequate labelling. Over 80% of ity of findings based on animals such as Biotechnology companies claim that GE will ister topics on the news agenda at processed foods contain maize or soya, and mice and rats to inform us of potential harm- improve our food, increase crop yields and Othe moment is Genetically so could potentially contain ingredients ful effects on humans is extremely question- even reduce the use of chemicals on farm- Engineered Food. This is your Green Soc from GE crops. The cross contamination of able on both scientific and ethical grounds. land. But the need for the technology has not guide to what’s been going on. non-GE crops threatens to eliminate choice yet been proven and so far there is no con- altogether. The bulk of GE crops are grown Social and Equity Issues vincing evidence of any benefits other than Genetic engineering has the potential to in the USA where they are not separated Avoiding GE food can be more difficult for profits being made by the industry. cause massive social, economic environmen- from conventional crops. certain sectors of society. There is evidence tal effects world-wide. Imported foods with that low income consumers (such as students Furthermore, GE in food and farming rais- GE ingredients are already being sold in the Health and Safety then) rely on cheaper processed foods. These es many fundamental environmental, UK, and the Government has now given the There are substantial concerns about the are exactly the sort of products more likely to social, health and ethical concerns. There go ahead for the commercial release of GE safety of GE foods. The process of genetic contain GE ingredients. Crops normally is already evidence of contamination of crops. According to those campaigning for a engineering is known to have unpredictable grown in tropical regions are being genetical- conventional crops and wild plants, and freeze on genetic engineering. There are effects on the genetic make up of organisms. ly engineered to grow in Northern countries. potential damage to wildlife. The effects several main areas of concern: The effects on human beings of eating GE For example GE Canola (oil-seed rape) which on human health of eating these foods are foods are equally as uncertain. Many GE is being field tested in Britain could destroy unknown. Vital research on these issues is The Need for Choice foods being imported in to the UK contain the livelihood of millions of people in coun- either incomplete or has not been identi- Opinion polls (such as that carried out by genes which provide resistance to common- tries such as India and the Philippines. fied. The public has not been involved in MORI in 1998) consistently show that the ly used antibiotics. Farmers are being forced into contracts with the decision making processes. It has majority of people in the UK do not want to private companies to buy both seed and chem- therefore been argued that it is imperative eat GE food – yet it is already in the shops. icals. GE is a means whereby agriculture and that there is a freeze on genetic engineer- Animal Welfare ing in food and farming until we have People are denied a choice by the lack of Research in to GE foods often involves lab- food production is being placed in the hands segregation and traceability of the crops and of a few multi national corporations. assessed all the implications for con- oratory experiments on animals. The valid- sumers, farmers and the environment. White Paper, White Lies..?

he Labour Government The content of the White Paper require action, but that action has elected in May 1997 was itself gave some hint of the trou- not been very forthcoming. Tcommitted to an integrat- ble ahead. All the rhetoric was Campaigners are arguing that it ed transport policy. One of its there, but there was a gaping hole would be very easy to reward first actions was to merge the in the place of clear timetables companies and individuals with Department of Transport with the and credible delivery mecha- tax breaks if they chose a means Department of the Environment nisms. Additional transport cash of transport other than the car for to form the Department of for councils, announced in the the journey to work. Environment, Transport and the spending review, was too small Regions (DETR), with Deputy to achieve very much. Worse We are now on the path to sus- Prime Minister John Prescott as came as large sums were put in to tained increases in traffic. The Secretary of State. In August of road projects which, although White Paper has failed and the that year, the new Department reduced in number, were still failure will now manifest itself in embarked on a one year consulta- being justified on the discredited the full range of economic, social tion for transport policy, finalised economic development logic. and environmentally unwanted in a White Paper last July. consequences. Life will be very Then in November came the unpleasant for all those who live In the run up to its publication, it Queen’s speech, which con- on heavily trafficked streets in seemed as if the traffic situation firmed the worst fears of those cities. Communities will become was going to get better, and cam- hoping for New Labour action on even more divided by busy roads paigning groups such as transport. The speech, outlining running through them. Pollution Transport 2000 were cautiously the legislative plans for the next from exhaust fumes will get optimistic. Prescott made some parliamentary session contained worse, and the already climbing GreenSoc high profile promises to reduce nothing to shift car dependency, rate of asthma will get worse. car use, to curb road building the litmus test of transport policy. Those without access to a car will and to improve the railways. The speech confirmed that the become increasingly disadvan- Meets every Tuesday Radical measures included road White Paper had been a great taged, and the countryside even pricing and work place car park- success in is use of language, but more difficult to access on foot or ing taxes. He seemed jubilant a failure in its potential to make a Lecture Theatre J difference. bicycle. The White Paper sug- and insistent that he had won an historic battle with the Treasury gested that transport policy could 6.30pm And what about the measures to allow these new revenues to move in the right direction, but that require no legislation? Both be used by councils to achieve for its promises has achieved taxation and integrated planning their own transport objectives. very little, and the ramifications Green Week Barefacts written by Claire, Johnny and Rob fall into this group; they just So what went wrong? of this will felt for years to come. ed990311.qxd 22/03/99 17:54 Page 8 (1,1)

8 11/03/99 Join The Dot The Drugs Do Work Dot Allison. London Improv Theatre - 2/3/99 Serum, Liz Horsman. The Borderline - 22/02/99 Introducing 28-year-old Dot duties, as have Andy Weatherall, By the time Serum take the stage stage-trashing. Liz Horsman, on the band are tight, but Horsman’s Allison, champion of underground and Kevin Shields from My Bloody there seem to be more people shak- other hand, is a very different kettle acoustic guitar is completely lost in sounds, passionate leftfield pop Valentine. This sell-out gig is ing hands than clapping them. of fish. The moment she walks on the mix, betraying the fact that their chanteuse, exuder of unforced awash with media types intent of Serum look to have an average age stage, both the audience and the soundcheck was cut short due to serenity and the first proper post- hearing a preview of her wondrous, of 16, but their fusing of Nirvana- band begin to feed off her casual time restraints. But no matter. acid house singer songwriting dulcet tones. Joined on stage with a lite guitar rock and mock-Molko but assertive stage presence. Horsman’s vocals shine on the siren. Formerly of great, lost dub string quartet, the lush arrange- vocals is competent, if not astound- Horsman may be as keen to avoid achingly beautiful ‘This is Blue’, visionaries One Dove, whose only ments complement the songs per- ing. The band look nervous, per- comparisons with Alanis and the band as a whole achieve an album ‘Morning White Dove’ was fectly. From the soothing affection haps because they’ve recently been Morissette as Placebo are to disas- intense unity on soon-to-be- one of the great lost gems of the shown on ‘Tomorrow Never signed to Boy George’s own label sociate themselves from prog rock- released single ‘Heavy High’. nineties. Fastforward to 1999 and Comes’, to the rousing uplift of and he’s down there in person to ers Rush, but the similarities are Those who yearn for this kind of Dot is playing her first ever-solo ‘Message Personnel’ there is real see just what he’s bought. Serum undeniable. Where Horsman intimate, personal performance gig, previewing material from her quality in the songs and pure emo- veer between hard-edged metal scores over her Canadian counter- would be well-advised to catch Liz as yet untitled forthcoming album. tion in the delivery. It is all over so (‘Thrush’) and acoustic balladry part is in her writing, which fore- Horsman soon, since she will clear- As a background to the album, the damn quickly, the six dreamy songs (‘Feeling is Believing’) before sakes overly verbose psychobabble ly not be playing rooms as small as list of collaborators providing their all pass you by leaving you open- winding it all up with the oldest in favour of a more compact and the Borderline for long. Greg services are probably as good as mouthed and speechless. The final trick in the book, a very staged ultimately affecting approach. The Sanderson you’re ever going to get. Working number played is the new single with Burt Bacharach’s famous lyri- ‘MoPop’, urbane soul, with an cist Hal David on the fresh pop of ambitious chorus. Sung in her light It’s All Academic ‘Did I Imagine You’. Also Richard and airy style, with her voice wrap- judging from the quality of materi- Jo Holland & The Dutch Caps. Guildford, The Star - 25/2/99 Fearless of Death in Vegas fame ping around the melody. I now al its set to be a highlight of the has helped out with production can’t wait to hear the album as year. Nick Walsh. It’s always better to start from cians are able, and the 9 song set Jo Holland before the beginning. For those entertaining in parts, flawed in oth- “Let Him Entertain You!” who don’t know, The Star is ers. One song ‘Cold Cut’ was truly Guildford’s crusty hangout. An beautiful, a slow beatific number, Robbie Williams. London Wembley Arena – 26/02/99 olde ye tavern, which houses many with a lovely sort of esoteric other- a hippy and hence the over 21’s age ness. This was followed by a rather Robbie Williams, a cheeky lad, already the best night of my life”, a for the encore, wearing a tuxedo limit. It gave your rock’n’roll cor- prosaic drum and bass number, similar to marmite – you either love feeling of pure devotion pours from and a TFI Friday-style “massive respondent and photographer the (maybe) called ‘Daisy Chain’. him or hate him. Onstage just after every corner of the arena. The heeeeed” as the music for chance to rekindle feelings of Recalling 4 Hero and Reprazent in 9pm, as the Star Wars theme tune songs seem different tonight, super- “Millennium” kicks in (Robbie’s sneaking in underage. Oh, the joy! their jazzy, breakbeat, literality. blasts over the speakers, he launch- charged or ultra-harmonised, per- own smaller version of Anyway ver ‘Dutch Caps’ were Respect due for even attempting es straight into the powerful pop fect for this sort of occasion. “Bittersweet Symphony”). After a supported on the night by the dog- this sort of music, but it annoys, dazzler “Let Me Entertain You”, “Strong”, Lazy Days (which flows perfunctory punk version of “Back gone Anna Ryder; a folk singer in when songs are introduced as ‘This closely followed by breezy ver- into “Hey Jude”) and “Old Before I For Good” it’s finally time for the the Janis Joplin mould, but unfortu- is drum and bass, if you don’t like sions of “Man Machine” and “Life Die” steam along as if driven by an song that arguably saved his career nately, 30 years too late. Obviously it tough’. Only because, it shows Thru A Lens”. The screens over- unknown force, Robbie swings his – “Angels”. Robbie stands back from her organic, (some may say) they are setting their sights too low, head show a number of old, poten- hips and leaps around like a loon. and listens to the crowd sing every wood like act, she’s been a-roam- trying to do something that has tially harsh, press clippings – “How Cheers of respect as Neil Hannon single word for him. He may be ing’ and a-thinking’ her way been done to death, rather than

Drink And Drugs”, “Robbie Rides of The Divine Comedy arrives mad and egotistical on the outside, Photo: Andrew Thomas around the block a few times. It doing something new. The choice Rollercoaster”, “Who Ate All The onstage for “No Regrets” (a great but he’s a soft cuddly thing under- shows in her songs one of which of covers was interesting, a ska-lite sant efforts to fill any spare space Pies?” Ear-numbing screams when support act tonight, and possibly neath. And for four and a half min- was about the thrill she gets from version of the Grange Hill theme with more and more notes. he interacts with the crowd – Robbie’s link to new indie popular- utes, it feels like he’s won. her car, with the poetic refrain ‘it’s was hilariously cringeworty. The Sometimes less is certainly, unde- “Three songs into the set and it’s ity). Our mischievous hero returns Andrew Smith good to have my car back/ on the interpretation of Beats niably more. Playing 100 demi- tarmac’. Another song, one of the Internationals ‘Dub Be Good To semi-quavers per bar is all very A - O - CAY highlights of her set was a sea- Me’ was ruined by being too fast, well, but songs need to be able to shanty, truly inspiring stuff, enough and also by someone bottling out breathe. The band redeemed them- An Interview with next big things, Cay for someone to exclaim ‘a rare from doing the rap in the middle. selves by playing a track by style but I like the rock bit! originality’, but I think they were Some bands’ songs you just don’t saviours Dee-lite. Which meant the Have you seen much of the rock still tripping from their bad acid ever touch because they are perfect set ended on a high, and an encore lifestyle? from the sixties. Good stuff, but I and you could never hope to add to was demanded, but due to time A: Its hard work at the end of the wouldn’t want her as my mother. them. One such song is restrictions (oh well) this wasn’t day. People think its great, but at Anyway, to the main act. Jo Portisheads’ ‘Glory Box’ the rendi- possible. There is true talent in this the end of the day it is hard work. Holland and The Dutch Caps, a tion of this went down well but band, but maybe a side effect of M: We do it for the sheer love of it trim and technically adept nine- could best be described as faithful. being a music student is that, any really! piece. Obviously a student band, The sixth track ‘Miracle’, was a own compositions seem a bit stud- N: We hadn’t planned to do this. Its hence the student-like name, and poisonous, sugar-coated fusion of ied, contrived and too easy to refer- more a question of...there is no throughout the set the cloying, stu- 80’s style funk and pop, which all ence. I suggest taking mind- other choice. All the other opportu- dent-like in-jokes. Still, the true tal- in all amounted to toxic, useless expanding drugs, but at the end of nities just faded away. ent on show is self-evident, the two MOR. This was definitely the low the day it’s your career. Are you ever worried about the singer’s voices are liquid in their point. Another irritant in the set Nick Walsh bubble bursting? fluent freeness, the skilled musi- was the keyboard player’s inces- T: It does every rehearsal! A: I just think you should enjoy Fatboy Slim Vs Sash! today. There’s an obvious comparison Waiting to be served Andy and Kev debate who would be a better religious cult leader between you and Sonic Youth. I with his last single! It’s obvious, he also read a comparison with Hole. is the new messiah! A: Yeah we get that a lot. Basically K: That can’t be possible. What everytime I have to give the same about his Gangsta past? All that answer: Hole sound a bit like trippin’? Nirvana and we like them and use A: Hmmm, yeah, well, Sash. similar sounds to them. What’s he ever done? N: I don’t really know any Hole K: He’ll stay true to what he says. stuff to be honest. He wants you to stay. He has a lot M: We’ve been compared to a lot of staying power. And he has that of people that we respect like Sonic aura of sexy class with his guest éclat success dropped. How does that feel? Youth and if we get compared to singers. Cay are Anet Mook, the fiery M: Yeah, great. It makes me them thats nice A: You mean he’s kind of like those A: What I’m saying basically is He plays one of those awful guitar haired vocal point roughing it up on extremely happy to know East Do you aspire to artistic integrity cults who offer sex with members that Fatboy Slim would make a far keyboards on Top of the Pops. guitar and voracious vocals, Nick West dropped the Human Leauge rather than selling loads of to newcomers?! Fatboy Slim is the better head for a cult than Sash. I K: He only does that because he’s Olofsson (guitar), Tom Harrison to sign us. I think that says some- records? second coming yet Sash is just a mean, come on, it just makes sense. told to. (bass) and Mark Bullock with the thing really good! A: Definately, yeah. dirty old man trying to get it on! K: I don’t think so at all. A: So TOTP is giving him orders? sticks. Since the first gig they How do you think the albums com- Anet hails originally from K: Sash could be the head of a huge A: But look at him. His songs are Like the Pope to his bishops? So played at the start of 1998, Cay ing along? Holland... religion. He writes his songs in like mantras. The way the same bit even if Sash is a religious leader he have moved swiftly up the ranks, A: Very well, yeah. Eighty percent Is there much of a music scene in German yet they get translated into gets repeated over and over. It’s isn’t the all powerful man at the having been eventually baited by of it’s done, I’d say. We’re going Holland? lots of different languages through like a Hare Krishna chant! Sash just top? Fatboy Slim only plays his Warner subsidery East-West in the back in two weeks just to tweak it A: The music scene is not great. Europe. Which is a bit like the can’t do that. videos on the show. He bows to no- autumn. It seems fitting to talk up. That’s something I like about Bible, except not in Israel. Sash K: Encore un fois! You have to sit one! about their progress. Have you got a good quote on how England, well London actually. encompasses everyone. up and listen! He makes his point K: But his music says nothing. You’ve had a pretty meteroric rise it’s going to be the defining moment There’s no real indie or rock scene, A: But Fatboy Slim has a whole lots of times in that song. An he’s A: His music says everything you in the last year, has it changed you on late 20 century rock? it’s more R ‘n’ B. But it’s good to meaning to life. One religion may so enlightened, working within need to know. If you skank along at all? M: People say nice things which is be here. have ten commandments but his loads of cultures and making them the rocks you’ll meet the fella, like A: Its given us more experience in sweet and that but we just do what There’s talk of Three Coulours Red has just one. Better living through one. He’s the single element in life. walking the narrow pathway! playing I suppose...but personally, we do. (whom Cay are supporting) and chemistry. No one can argue with How can Fatboy Slim mean any- K: No way! Sash for the world! once a scumbag, always a scum- A: Well i suppose it’s noise pop or what nice chaps they are and then that! thing? He was in the Housemartins! A: Fatboy for the slim! Oops... bag! Funk punk jazz. But we really like even less direction in the conversa- A: But if you think about it. In the K: Ah, but in the new Sash single Has it been good getting the press it and it’s out in May. tion as the interview becomes a he says he’s going to colour the Housemartins for a while, fourty Next week Andy and Kev try to behind you? When did you decide you wnated to chat and we disappear back into the world. He’s going to bring every- days in the wilderness! He came argue without using quite so many A: Yeah! be rock stars? crowd to enjoy Three Coulours one together as one for a better life. back, he found success, and conse- song title puns!!! You’ve been signed, when a lot of A: I never wanted to be a rock star. Red. Daniel Jones quently he praised like he should A: There is one good reason why bands aroumd you have been T: I don’t know about the star bit Sash cannot be some holy being. ed990311.qxd 22/03/99 17:54 Page 9 (1,1)

11/03/99 9

first release here, and my only going on at vaguely the same advice is to keep your eyes time. On one track they even SINGLE OF THE WEEK SINGLES open for an album. 8/10 use what sounds like gospel GUS GUS – Ladyshave mellow soul and Imogen M.d.L. singers to add to the confusion. (4AD) Heap’s floating vocal. It’s all I suppose it could be worse. Gus Gus are a band of hip they’ll need. 8/10 D.J. MOLOKO Sing it then 5/10 E.C. Icelandic artists. Sounding not Smooth bass filtered over high unlike the Stereo MC’s, in its SASH! - Colour The World res harmonies to encapsulate commercial, funky, dance vibe. (X-IT) the mind and soul. Disarmingly Probably, a bit mainstream Sash! as we know him: decent beautiful but only for a short when compared to the rest of track with pathetic lyrics time. 7/10 K.M. the album, but still good to (‘colour the world’ is all they groove to. 8/10 N.W. say). The video that comes in KENT - 747 (RCA) the single however it really Widescreen panoramic para- HURRICANE #1 - The URBAN SPECIES - Blanket good, turning an ok single to a noia. Kent fly in with the sec- Greatest High (Creation) (Talkin’ Loud) good one. If you already like ond single from the partially Bog standard indie stuff this. Thinking of all the post apoca- Sash! This is well worth a look acclaimed ‘Isola’ album. It’s a It’s a ballad of sorts, which lyptic visions that are strewn (or listen); otherwise get it for smooth landing, a few flashing reminds me of something from lights and an easy passage Embrace. It may of done all SOMATIC - Rocking Chair (Universal) upon us amidst the myriad of the beautiful Icelandic land- The debut single from the band who graced our Union’s main future guessing films, they fall scape and pretty women in the through customs. A song that is right commercially 3 or 4 years lovely but strangely lacking ago when britpop was more stage not too long ago, and what a cracker it is too. Bursting at into two camps. The dirty and video. 8/10 M.D.C. the seems with emotion this is an ethereal, yet potentially down- hopeless urban mess of T2 and indelibility. 6/10 D.J. popular, however today its not going to be a hit. 4/10 A.S. beat journey to Darksville. If the album is this good, we’re in for Bladerunner compare to the STROKE - a real treat. 8/10 A.T.S. sterile calm of Gattaca. In the Momentary/Temporary (XL) THE JON SPENCER latter they’ll need to be stirred This is the second limited edi- BLUES EXPLOSION - Talk EAGLE EYE CHERRY - up by the comedy rock of tion release from Stroke, said About The Blues (Mute) Permanent Tears (Polydor) This weeks’ reviews by: Marilyn Manson, but the music by many people who actually The vocals in this group sound This is slow, dull boring crap. I Mario Dias, Andrew Thomas, Nigel Martin, Emma Clarke, Mark they will be listening in the know what they’re talking like they are sung through a can’t ven see people who actu- de Lange, Adam Saxty, Andrew T Smith, Ian Purvey, Lisa world of T2 as they hide away about to be one of the best new handkerchief. The music is a ally like him wanting to buy Thornhill, Rob Winder, Nick Walsh, Kevin Marston, & Daniel will be this. The brooding beats bands in Britain. The style and jumble of guitars, drums, this. Both remixes are Jones. and chilling calm. The folky, quality is continued from their vocals and a backing beat, all appalling. 1/10 I.P.

world over with Taking a similar stance to bands dering drums and inane chants. there’s nothing new, it’s all ‘Crazysexycool’ and it’s like Mercury Rev, in their Underworld have returned to been done before. There is no ALBUMS biggest single ‘Waterfalls’ TLC injection of a musical elixir into their minimalist past, all 303 doubting Noel’s talent but there return having been declared dull Americana. This album, lines and generic drum is enough of this type of music WILCO - Summer Teeth These two albums are bankrupt and Lisa “left eye” has a more lush and pastoral machines. The first track fea- already out there to stop this (Reprise) Cornelius’s response to a bar- Lopez burning down her feel, than Mercury Rev tures a vocoder, which, let’s becoming a success, you never ‘Summer Teeth’ is the follow- rage of remix requests. ‘FM’ boyfriend’s mansion. Do not although they are all strands of face it, has lost it’s trendy tag no though. 6/10 N.M. up to ‘97’s ‘Being There’, (Fantasma Remixes) is a for- mess with these ladies. The tact a similar progressive moptop. since Cher stuck her decrepit which is surely one of the ward thinking, experimental employed here though is on the One track has a pure Bacharach warble through one. But, from STEREOPHONICS - albums of the decade. ‘Summer album including artists such as attraction of cyber lovin’. feel, with a sunny grace given then on we lose the gimmicks Performance And Cocktails Teeth’ sees Wilco move away U.N.K.L.E., Damon Abarn and Computer voices chatter over off from the cheery Salsa beat. and simply get real. It’s a little (V2) from their “No Depression” Money Mark (those three are the girl’s harmonies and occa- Throughout, there is a feel of too minimal in places, and The Stereophonics debut album roots, leaving the county worth a good listen). The tracks sional stabs at rap. One inter- Neil Young, whenever Jim maybe it could do with an ‘Word Gets Around’ was a true behind Jeff Tweedy and co. are very much on the edge, lude features one guy trying to O’Rourke sings. Some of the anthem or two. Still, for purists classic with catchy tracks imbibe the spirit of the sixteis, evoking a variety of moods come on to one of them, then tracks are like experimental it’s a must. 7/10 A.T. which you just couldn’t get out The Beatles circa ‘Revolver’, such as ‘i’m skipping around in all her friends, and getting ideas taken from ‘After The of your head days. They’ve The Beach Boys and Neil a Disney cartoon’ to ‘just call blown out for his trouble. Yes, Goldrush’, others are moving NOEL MCKOY - Please now gone and released a follow Young. This change is no rea- me moonbeam, i’m from the they put men down, but then instrumentals, but whatever, its Take This Personal up. After a week of listening to son to worry, Wilco have this rainbow camp’. Basically, its declare undying love for them all probably something you will (Rightrack) it still nothing sticks in my head pop thing sussed, they have quality listening and the ‘CM’ in the space of two songs. The ever of heard before. 8/10 N.W. The title of this album, whilst except ‘The Bartender And The great songs, really great songs (Cornelius remixes) is equally slick soon to be single ‘ No dubious sums up the whole Thief’ ,which is a easily the in fact, a stunning assured pro- good. (featuring the same Scrubs’ is set to be a huge hit UNDERWORLD - Beaucoup concept of it - love, peace and best track on the album. Even duction that really lets the artists as the first album). There though. Confused yet sussed. Fish (V2) honesty. Noel has been writing the new single ‘Just Looking’ music shine through. The lyics is a song for everyone in here 8/10 A.T. You remember that song which songs since his teens and this is hasn’t hardly any sticking on this album for the most part and you won’t be disapointed. chanted ‘lager lager lager’ all immediately apparent. The power with just the abstract are pretty dark and twisted, the Some of the tracks have a real- JIM O’ROURKE – Eureka over it? The one every beery album could be described as a line ‘I’m just looking, I’m not sound is one of summer pop, ly ambiant feel; cool man, have (Domino) boy in the land jumped up and mix of Jazz, Soul and Funk and buying’ floating about. All the Wilco have produced a warped you got the vibe? Right, i’m Jim O’Rourke is usually associ- down to in his small town makes for ideal background rest of tracks whilst sounding masterpiece. 9/10 R.W. just going to nip down ated with ‘difficult’ avant- nightclub. Well here’s a revela- music. It is very melodic and distinctly Stereophonics, EastWest. 9/10 L.T. garde music, but for his new tion. They were taking the piss. the song “Looking 4 a woman” screeching vocals, the lyrics CORNELIUS-FM: Fantasma album he has adopted more Yeah, ha ha ha. Don’t you feel which was co-written with just don’t have the appeal of the Remixes/CM:Cornelius TLC - Fan Mail (Arista) accessible possibilities without silly? Well, you will do if you Stevie Wonder influences first album. There are a few Remixes (Matador) After huge success here and the compromising any of his ideas. buy this expecting more thun- Noel’s entire sound which has songs on the album which man- real feeling. Other key songs aged to bore me. Big dissap- ALBUM OF THE WEEK from this album are pointment. 6/10 I.P. STEVE EARLE AND THE “Nightnurse”, “Personal” and DEL MCCOURY BAND - “You’re number one”, each The Mountain (Grapevine) having funky beats and clever, While the so called “country” soft lyrics. I like this album but music industry is complaining that its acts are not selling as much anymore, they should Go See Live! step back and ask themselves why. Their constant obsession March and drive towards MOR pap is 11: Twinkie @ London Upstairs At The Garage unbelieveable. Thankfully for 12: Sidi Bou Said @ London Highbury Garage people who like their country 13: Renegade Hardware Party @ London, The End music to have some twang 14: Afghan Whigs @ London Astoria there are artists working who 15: Creed @ London Borderline will fulfill that need. Here one 16: The Lanterns @ London Improv Theatre of them, Steve Earle, joins 17: Shane Macgowan and the Popes @ Kentish together with another, the lead- ing lights of the current blue- Town Forum grass scene, to perform a series 18: Symposium @ London Highbury Garage of songs inspired by, and as a tribute to, bluegrass origina- memorable songs here. On mandolins and banjo, creating tribute to Roy Huskey Jr., Competition Time! tor Bill Monroe. Steve Earle ‘Dixieland’ he, once again, the perfect backdrop for Steve ‘Pilgrim’, a heartbreakingly dEUS release their new album “The Ideal Crash” on the 22nd March. returns to his passion for the Earle. The duet with Iris haunting song with a rousing hopes that just one of these To celebrate this Wild promotions are offering the Deus back catalogue, songs is performed at every American Civil War as inspira- Dement, ‘I’m Still In Love gospel finale. Bill Monroe t-shirts, and concert tickets to a lucky winner who can answer the ques- bluegrass festival long after he tion for this Irish-American jig. With You’ is a song that is a would certainly have been tion: is gone. The thing is, he may The Del McCoury band drive pure bluegrass ballad, but the happy to make this album. 9/10 Which European country do dEUS come from? well have achieved his ambi- the rhythm of this album, in the absolute highpoint of the R.W. Entries to Wild (dEUS), Suite 204, The Old Gramophone Works, 326 tion, there are some great and absence of drums, with bass, record is album closer, and a Kensal Road, London, W10 5BZ. ed990311.qxd 22/03/99 17:54 Page 10 (1,1)

10 11/03/99 FEELING THROUGH THE PAIN What’s on in Guildford Jason Falkner at The Garage, London. 1 March 1999 Jason Falkner, right arm Guildford Civic Hall (01483 444555) heavily strapped to his body, leads his band out onto the Oysterband (11th Mar / 7.30pm / Tickets £9) The Oysterband’s unique fusion of Rock and small stage at The Garage to British Roots music has made them one of the most irresistibly exciting bands of the a rapturous reception. This nineties. Regular headliners at Guildford’s annual summer festival in Stoke Park, tickets is Jason’s first solo show in will be going fast for the band’s debut at the Civic. the UK, people have trav- elled a long way to witness Paul McKenna (16th Mar / 7.45pm / Tickets £12.50 - £13.50) As one of the world’s most this occasion. Four days ago successful hypnotists, Paul McKenna has been wowing critics for years with the shear vari- the show was cancelled and ety of his work. If you’ve never seen him before this is a must for your diary! then reinstated as Jason dis- located his shoulder, “I wish something real cool hap- Guildford’s Yvonne Arnaud Theatre pened” he says by way of introduction, “but, I slipped (01483 440000) in the shower”. ‘Honey’, one of the catchi- Suddenly Last Summer (Wed 3 Mar to Sat 13 Mar / Times vary / Tickets £10 - £21.50) est numbers off his new By Tennessee Williams. Warehouse Productions now return to stage Williams’ chilling tale ‘Can You Still Feel?’ album of motherly love. Set in an exotic and macabre tropical garden, in the oppressive heat of a gets the show underway. New Orleans’ summer, the tension slowly rises as we move inexorably toward the truth Obviously unable to play about Sebastien Venables’ savage death, exploding with a final and haunting revelation. guitar Jason plays key- boards with somewhat reck- less abandon, you can see The New Victoria, Woking (01483 761144) the pain in his face on the occasions that he needs to The Royal Ballet (Thu 11 - Sat 13 Mar / Times vary / Tickets £9.50 - £19.50) A stunning play with both hands. new showcase from the illustrious Royal Ballet. Experience the unique style, elegance and During the course of the breathtaking artistry of one of the world’s finest companies. Mozart, Stravinsky and two show Jason, and his band of world premieres provide an exciting fusion of music and ballet culminating in the exquis- just a few weeks, play all the hear the songs with a differ- playing some record or ite grace of Galanteries. songs from ‘Can You Still ent musical slant, the key- another. Feel?’ along with a some board led sound gives them The crowd however have from his previous album a whole new perspective. not had enough and the Wilde Theatre @ South Hill Park Arts Centre, ‘Presents... Author The main set ends with exu- chants for “more” start, after Unknown’. At times the berant pop of ‘Miracle a few minutes Jason leads Bracknell (01344 484123) crowd shout for various Medicine, but the band soon his band out once again, other songs from this album return for ‘I Live’, the single thanking the crowd for their Old Tyne Music Hall (Thu 11 to Sat 13 Mar / 7.30pm, Sat mat. 2.30pm / £6 & £7) All the or from The Grays album, from the previous album kindness and he closes the family will enjoy singing along with the choruses of those well-loved songs, cheering the but Jason tells us that the and then a simply stunning evening with ‘Holiday’ hero and hissing the villain in this sparkling show full of fun and laughter. band don’t know them. For cover of Joni Mitchell’s from ‘Can You Still Feel?’. Compiled by Hossein Motevalli ‘See You Again’ the band ‘Both Sides Now’, which Maybe you had to be there, are aided by some addition- leaves everyone amazed, but this was a unique and al guitar from their tech. It after which the band say magical evening. The Thin Red Line (18) - Out Now was certainly interesting to goodnight and the p.a. starts Rob Winder Director: Terrence Makick feast of John Toll’s roaming Starring: Sean Penn, Nick cinematography. Nolte, Ben Chaplin, Jim Caviezel, John Cusack and The story is thus: rifle com- Elias Koteas pany C for Charlie are in the midst of the propogated bat- Two big WWII films in an tle for the Japenese held oscar season will surely Guadalcanal, a crucial part demand that individual of the Soloman Islands in merit is tossed aside in the South Pacific. This is a favour of a brutal, no-holds study of men at war, but barred head-to-head. That unfortunatley a study of too of battle, remembers the this and Saving Private many men at war. You see, final moments with his wife Ryan both deal in a currency not only are the big stars at home - war and love. In of brutal visual honesty, pushed into bit parts, but the same way, each of the when previous WWII there are a small plethora of other main characters - homages have been less main characters, all contem- Seargent Walsh (Penn), candid, is all the more plating the Hell of their cir- Colonel Tall (Nolte), and strange. Well, if you like, cumstance. Captain Staros (Koteas) this is the more plausible offer different outlooks or and intelligent though ulti- It all gets a bit surreal at coping strategies: rueful mately less commercial of times and perhaps through embitterment, failure the two. Where Saving luck or Mallick’s genius this induced power trip and utter Privare Ryan sustains a seems to capture and reflect nobility respectively. thread of continuity with the the character’s and war’s most ridiculous of plotlines, detachement from reality. The elongated, stuttering of The narrative, bled over events and hanging sub- The Thin Red Line rather silent moments of carnage plots are frustrating, but boldly omits any real story- or the calm and beauty of there is something highly line in favour of a study of nature, is one of nature’s indelible in all this. Whether the intricaicies, and that struggle and more often than it’s the elegant look of it all includes the futility, of war. not the source is the Karmic or its lack of typical Saving Privare Ryan keeps spirituality of Private Witt Hollywood patriotic senti- the punters happy with a (Caviezel). At other times ment matters little. If you spate of battles; the action in the tranquil Private Bell see it - concentrate. this, while less frequent, is (Chaplin), at perhaps the framed within the visual most inopportune moments 7/10 Daniel Jones. ed990311.qxd 22/03/99 17:55 Page 11 (1,1)

11/03/99 11 Crossword No 97 NOTICES Campusport News

Iranian AGM, Sub Aqua AGM UniS Squash - It’s 1/4 final ‘dance diva’. Bookings avail- Thursday, 11th of March in Thursday 18th March 19:30 time at the VC. Tuesday able in advance from the sport TB20a at 17.00. TB 18 16th March Ticket only, 2 centre £7, Student conc £4.75. course meal available, Includes Mexican meal, Gamesoc AGM Sailing AGM £4.50. Free coke (a cola) for Salsa/Lambada lesson and a Sunday 14th March 14.30 LTA Tuesday 23rd March 18.00 designated drivers. £1.50 free TEQUILA followed by a Cathsoc AGM TB11 real ale/ £6 jug Export/ £1 disco. Who needs red nose Badminton AGM Carlsberg Ice.Details day!? Sunday 21st March 18.30 I.Woodley@surrey. Quiet Centre Tuesday 23rd March 18.30 Head of Health and Civ Engsoc AGM Grant Mitchell Room Beers of the World Fitness - has arrived. Paul Friday 12th March 13.00 Ultimate Frisbee Exhibition - Friday 19th Hobrough is his name, your 5AA19 March 5-11pm. No need to well being is his game! You AGM say much here as its reputa- can’t miss him he is about 8 NoWave AGM Tuesday 16th March 17.00 tion sells it! feet tall and prowls around Hari’s Bar Tuesday 23rd March 19.30 the gym. He welcomes your Grant Mitchell Room BUSA TRAMPOLINE views and comments Fencing AGM CHAMPIONSHIPS - (x9894). Rugby Club AGM Wednesday 24th March Sunday 14th March at the Thursday 18th March 21.00 20.00 Grant Mitchell Room Sport Centre. Come and UniS Clothing - will be on Across Down Grant Mitchell Room support Surrey and see sale in the Lecture Theatre 1. Naval officers (10) 1. Public announcer (5) Robot Soc AGM some high quality action. Concourse on Friday 26th 7. Mouth-like opening (7) 2. To cripple (4) Equestrian Club Monday 22nd March 8. Resort in the Bay of 3. Circus-rings (6) March 10 am - 4pm at 10 % Students Union at Naples (5) 4. Those who disparage (8) AGM Latino Evening - Friday 12th off. College jackets 7pm. E-mail Stephen 10. Small mountain lake (4) 5. A rebuke (7) Wednesday 17th March March 7-11pm at the VC Bar. (£49.99) and fleece jackets ([email protected]). 11. Yellow-flowered plant (8) 6. A wardrobe accessory 16.00 Grant Mitchell Room Another wild one on the cards (£29.99) now available in 13. A watch-chain (6) (4-6) with Philippa our resident the shop. 15. Scottish small-holdings 9. Imprudent (10) Islamic Society AGM (6) 12. High-ranking priests (8) Windsurfing 17. Antelopes (8) 14. Anti-tank rocket-gun (7) AGM Wednesday 24th March Personals 18. Mark left by a wound (4) 16. Turkey’s wattle (6) Friday 12th March 13.00 18.30 LTE 21. Bird’s perch (5) 19. Edible molluscs (5) 22. Foliage (7) 20. An epic tale (4) Grant Mitchell Room Netball Club AGM 23. Kangaroos, for example (10) Gilbert & Sulivan Monday 22nd March 18.00 Grant Mitchell Room Solution to Crossword No. 96 Down: 1.Jaffa 2.knee-cap 3.rugs Society AGM Across: 1.Joker 4.Jupiter 4.jotter 5.painting 6.thing 7.rating Union Cashier 8.freight 9.idiot 10.arch 11.penat- 12.inimical 13.jaguars 15.abettor Monday 22nd March 19.30 gon 13.japans 14.annals 17.gold- 16.angled 18.litre 20.ledge TB18 Friday 12th March mine 19.teal 22.antic 23.limited 21.amen Please Note that on Friday 24.shelled 25.Norse Compiled by Jeff Blackham Hockey Club AGM 12th March the cash desk will Tuesday 23rd March 19.30 be open From 11am - 1 pm Varsity Centre ONLY, ■ Neena B. I saw you your next trauma update !!! GCR AGM pissed at the ball. Very ■ Thanks Chicken for a Unisys computer pissed indeed. And I have fabulous weekend. Must do Wednesday 24th March some photos to prove it. it again soon. 18.00 By fruit machine for sale, love A. ■ “Gunter Stubbs can’t get “Hair Of wind 95, Word, Excel Contact ■ Lisa, if you you just need no rubs” [email protected] someone to love you I know ■ “Don’t worry Aude, I Men’s Waterpolo Price £110. realy nice bloke and he likes won’t mention the rugby” AGM Tesco Lemonade as well. A. ■ “Fat boy slim, hows the The Dog” Monday 22nd March 19.30 FOR RENT ■ Marinos, Twayford H1 beer gut” Grant Mitchell Room Teddington - Bright Room in room five, Happy birthay ■ Matt, that’s one hell of a clean, quiet, n/s home, all mod Afro-Caribbean love, even though you have hickey you’ve got there!! cons, close to BR & Kingston, decided to spend it up in ■ off street parking £68.00pw WANTED: insane Essex AGM London with your ‘real’ Playing Live incl. gas / elec / water / phone girl who’s run wild with a 18th March 19.00 LTB line rental / TV license. Would mates. A. piece of my mate’s neckin suit female 0181 943 9368. ■ Two Continents feat. her teeth! Ocean Boy and Big Norg, ■ When in doubt- PANIC !! At Looking forward to AH yournext performance of the ■ Happy Birthday to Nisha, hit “ Love Nation “! Kay and Tim from us all at ■ Dancing through the House 66uc W ates Decades, Easter ‘egg’strav- ■ To Bex & Line, Thanx for aganza ! Can hardly wait being there the other week ■ !! Good Girls Well Done during my poorly state. ! ■ Love ya lots, Sqwidgy. ■ Bonjour Claire of much ■ What has happend to all House Haggettness ! “ They’d get the personals? it ! “ Watch thisspace for

Friday 12 March CASUAL CATERING AND From 8.30pm BAR STAFF REQUIRED All University Staf f & SILVER SERVICE WAITING, BAR, CHEFS/COOKS, KITCHEN ASSISTANTS, COUNTER ASSISTANTS. Postgrads Welcome DAYS, NIGHTS, WEEK ENDS

Members’ guests must be CONTACT PHILIP LOCKYER, THE REFECTORY AT signed in GUILDFORD CATHEDRAL 01483 560471 ed990311.qxd 22/03/99 17:56 Page 12 (1,1)

Surrey Pride Ergo Forever!

ou may have heard Three hours into the row, port team giving grunting and screaming “Captain Carla” was getting far him small Yin Campusport last too familiar with members of the breaks. Friday night. Boat Club sliding backwards Six hours into and forwards in front of her(!) so Confused? Well, it was the the row, USBC University of Surrey Boat Club decided it was her turn to go on were sooooo doing something even sillier the pull! close to the end, than their weekday early morn- and, as you can ing training sessions, a 100,00 Four hours into the row, the crew guess, the grunt- metre row in aid of Comic were putting themselves through ing was getting Relief. louder, and cli- the full range of movements maxed(?) with a The team effort was kicked off whilst other gym users were loud “YES” early on Friday afternoon by arriving, doing a workout, giving from Roger as he our star stroke, Ben. us strange looks, and then leav- finished his last Jonathan was next to jump onto ing. But I think Mike was work- personal 1000 meters. the already sweaty ergo, but by ing harder than any workout! the colour of his red face at the well done to Ben, Jonathan, Six hours, forty seven minutes Marcello, Mike, Roger, Alex, end, he didn’t need a Comic Five hours into the row, good and three seconds after the Aroura, Lorcan and Steve, I am Relief Red Nose Hooter! old Steve turned up with statu- start, the display finally showed very proud of you all. All I tory rucksack the size of the elusive 0 meters. I couldn’t could say at the end was “See We had smooth changeover Africa(!) and new energy that Surrey Pride Star Profile believe how well the crew you at 9am tomorrow for train- after smooth changeover as dif- ate up the meters ticking away worked, the support was excel- ing”. This time on water and in Number 16, Debbie Catchpole ferent club members faced the on the ergo’s display. Roger lent, keeping everyone really real boats! Vital Stats; challenge. and Lorcan made a good sup- focused and positive. A big “Captain Carla” Age: 22 (ish) Bring some sunshine into Dept: LIS Nicknames: Debs your life..meet the Toshiba Girls on Top! Measurements: The larger the better! Sporting Interests (and why?): Fencing (I like playing Youth Dance Project Surrey Netball 28 Glamorgan 24 with swords!) s your life missing some- mance. There are currently he BUSA quarter-finals However, the toughest quarter Marital Status: Very single thing? Do you want to sixty participants from the started off fast and furious was yet to come when Glamorgan Iwork with enthusiastic area involved, with many of Twith Glamorgan taking an tempers went wild and many a Personal Info; young people and create the older teenagers working early lead of 3 goals. We then swear word was spoken towards something really special? Or as group leaders. The Project thought that maybe we should our team and the umpires. What is your favourite feature? On a man - a nice athlet- you just want to take up the have been creating the piece start playing some netball, and Although wind and rain were ic bum! dancing that you had to give in collaboration with against us, thanks to some great thanks to some great attacking, What do you go for in a man? A long weapon up when you came to Uni, Chicken Shed Theatre attacking and defending we “took came back for a half time score of Favourite Drunk? Vodka, lime and lemonade! without the pressure of ISTD Company, who recently had Glamorgan from behind” to win 12 to 10. Glamorgan were ecstat- Favourite Food? Chocolate Haagen Das, but not from the exams etc..? If so the a number one hit with a trib- 28 – 24 in the last couple of min- ic with their winning streak, and tub if you know what I mean! Toshiba Youth Dance ute song for Diana, Princess utes of the match. Our Goal showed this by their screaming Favourite Music? Soundtrack to My Best Friends Wedding Project could be for you. of Wales, and are renowned Attack (Bam!) was nominated as for their innovative and and shouting. So much so, that player of the match, and the whole Sporting Info: I have become involved with stimulating approach to Little Miss Marvellous was afraid team showed great team spirit and the group through my Dance working with young people. What does Surrey Sport give you? Got to meet HRH! to leave Little Miss Tall by herself unity (Unlike Glamorgan!). Apart and Culture degree. My with the “scary” goalkeeper. from copious bleeding (Horny!) What is your; assignment is to organise The Project are performing Entering the third quarter, our and some members of our team most memorable moment in Surrey Sport? and promote, with another in the PMSC Youth Dance supporters had doubled in number almost being knocked out Winning BUSA Championships last December with my dance student, the T.Y.D.P.’s Showcase in the Woking (Thanks to Ben, Steve and (Mischief!), we look forward to Commonwealth medal a close second!! upcoming debut perfor- Dance Umbrella, which runs Gemma) which improved our the semi’s, wherever they may be! mance in the Woking Dance throughout March ‘99. funniest moment you can recall from your days at game tremendously and we ended Little Miss Sloshed and Umbrella Festival. At first I There will be a host of other Surrey? When I introduced myself to Virginia Bottomley the quarter tied 18 all. Little Miss Horny at the opening of the Surrey Space Centre and she looked was nervous about the youth groups and local col- really bored! prospect of organising 60 lege students performing so young people but now I there will be something for worst injury? Groin strain from a rather enthusiastic lunge. can’t think of a better way to everyone. All are welcome worst STD? N/A use my dance knowledge. to watch this fun community Do you have any sporting superstitions? The children’s enthusiasm is event. The T.Y.D.P. is set to Always wear my fencing pants when competing. really infectious! It is worth continue for the next three How does Surrey Sport affect your Social/Private life? going to see the performance years and would welcome Doesn’t; it’s still hot! if only for the expression on anyone interested in dancing Is sex better before or after sport? Before, during and the kid’s faces as they per- or helping with the group. after! form to Robbie William’s There is also a need for vol- Who is your sporting role model? ‘Millennium’ and recreate unteers to help out with var- Michael Jackson’s ‘Smooth ious front of house and back- Denise Lewis, plus I quite fancy Tim Henman, Iwan Criminal’. stage duties throughout the Thomas and Stephen Redgrave. Woking Dance Umbrella Which sports personality would you most like to meet? The T.Y.D.P. was an initia- Festival. For further infor- Dalton Grant - the funniest guy in athletics. tive originally created by the mation please contact Jenny Sum yourself up in 3 words? Loud, Fun, Mad. Woking Dance Umbrella for Lowde on ( 01483 ) 726448. Baby Macs Nominated Question: What’s it like, as a the 1997 festival. However it woman, to wield such a mighty weapon? Empowering - was so successful that it has The performance will be in shame most men don’t know what it feels like! been revived and will con- the Rhoda McGaw Theatre, tinue for the next three years. Woking on Sunday 21st It is an integrated dance March ‘99 at 3.30 p.m. and For next weeks final Surrey Star profile we invite you to group, which means that 7.45 p.m. Tickets are priced submit a testing question to turn the tables on the meddle- both able-bodied and dis- at£7 and £5 concessions. some stitch-up artist, our Sports Editor, Mr. Paul Cliff. abled people are welcome. Call the box office now on Please e-mail your suggestions to ‘[email protected]’ The group is comprised of ( 01483 ) 761144 before you or pop them into the BF mailbox before 12pm on Friday. He young people from 7 to 20 miss out! will not be allowed to ‘edit’ them in his usual manipulative years old. The aim of the manner, nor will he be allowed to veto any of the questions project is to encourage you submit. Revenge is ours, Ben McCauley. young people to explore Michaela Lucking their potential in perfor-