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Norwegian Nights - A Journey Through Badfic

Introduction - The 'Norwegian Nights' Series

The bizarrely named 'Weelderig Waardeloos' is the writer of a series of badfic that was supposedly about the Eurovision Song Contest, when in reality it was about anything but, it was just random stories with people from the Eurovision in them, (one was Pokemon themed, another had Take That in it for no reason.) It's some sort of weird alternate universe in the same vein as the Cori Falls stories are. My friends, welcome to the world of Norwegian Nights, a world of inconsistency and insanity. Please leave your common sense at the door and come on in!

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Norwegian Nights Abridged by Dark Shiro

-An abridged version of the nuttiest fanfics on the net- Internet: There's fanfiction for everything, you know Me: Surely there's not fanfiction for EVERYTHING -logs onto fanfiction.net, sees Eurovision fanfiction- Oh god, the internet was right... Oh, hello there, this is the original 'Norwegian Nights Abridged' series, some of it was originally posted as reviews under the name 'summary of your awful fanfics'. The 'Norwegian Nights Series' is known as many things, such as 'what the hell is this garbage' and 'oh no not this again' but mostly just 'that damn Eurovision fanfiction'. Now in abridged form, where I read it so you don't have to. So, without further ado, here we go! **** --'Norwegian Nights'-- -The first in the series, and trust me, it gets worse- ----Chapter One---- *Lena, the German Eurovision entry goes inside the stadium to get ready or something, and she is greeted by the Israeli entry* Lena: Hello Harel! :3 Harel Skaat: ... --Fifth sentence in and there is a reference to the holocaust in this fanfiction-- -What the fuck- -That's not something you should be discussing in a Eurovision fanfiction- Gjoko Taneski: Oh hey you guys, you here for the contest? -The narrator then comments that Gjoko is a 'forgettable Macedonian'- -Some other random shit happens and Lena and Stefan get into an argument with the Greek Eurovision entry- Giorgos Alkaios: Rawr you suck Germany! We hate you because you're German! Stefan Raab: I hate you too Greek! I hate you because you're Greek! *Insert reference to Greek Bailout here* Giorgos Alkaios: Hahahahahaha, we're taking all of Germany's money. Lena: Ignore him Stefan. Hey, let's go into this oh so random aquarium that's right next to the stage! -Lena and Stefan then go into an aquarium- -There is an aquarium in the stadium- -I am serious- Stefan Raab: (shouting all over the aquarium) I hate Greeks! God damn Greeks! God damn! Oh yeah, by the way, the Serbian guy looks like a girl. -The Serbian guy appears from nowhere- Milan Stankovic: How dare you! I do not look like a girl! Stefan: Oh no! Michael von der Heide: Oh hey everyone, Switzerland here. I'm just here for no reason at all. --The author doesn't know where this is going, so now it's time for a random explosion!- -KABANG- Lena: Oh hey, a loud explosion, let's go and run to where the sound is coming from! --Apparently, the Greek entry were on the stage and now they've all fallen through it-- Giorgos: Boo hooo Stefan: Ahahahaha, you're down a hole, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA -Sieneke, in the BEST CAMEO EVER, takes out her mobile phone and starts recording the Greek entry- Sieneke: This is going straight to Youtube, bitches! Daniel: Why are you people laughing at them when they're like trapped in the stage or whatever (what the hell the author intended by 'fell down a hole' is anyone's guess). -Daniel kills the lulz by helping the Greeks get out from the hole- Giorgos: We're out, yay! Lena: YAY!!! Giorgos: But I wonder who cut the stage? -Dun dun DUNNNNN- ----Chapter Two---- Peter Nalitch: It must have been one of us that did it, as we are the only ones with access to the stadium! -Yeah, like they'd leave all the entrants in the stadium by themselves- Gjoko Taneski: Yeah, but someone may have come in. The door isn't locked. -But no one listens to Gjoko because the author didn't like his Eurovision entry- Peter Nalitch: Oh, by the way everyone, we've got to go now since the police want this place empty for investigation. -But wouldn't they be investigating you?- -Since you just said it had to be one of you that did it... ah forget it- -They all go back to the hotel- -The Eurovision is now postponed 'until tommorow', by which time I'm sure they'll have both caught the culprit, and fixed the stage- Peter: Sure is great to be back in the hotel. Hotel Manager: Go away. -Paula Seling and Ovi bang on a piano for no reason- -The Serbian and Albanian entrants then bump into each other- -The author makes a reference to Kosovo- -Seriously Silver, how much stupid controversial shit can you cram into one fanfiction?- Juliana Pasha: Go to hell Serbian! I hate you because KOSOVO! -There was no point to the above sequence, by the way- -Then the fanfiction cuts to Lena and Stefan's room- Stefan: (the following is from the fic itself) I can't believe that the final's been postponed, damn Greeks, I bet they have something to do with it. -Um, yeah. Someone cut a hole in the stage and they fell. You have a short memory or something?- Stefan: Oh yeah, the author needs me out of the way now so I'm going to take a walk around Oslo. Lena: Ok, bye then! -Stefan leaves and then Lena walks around the hotel, and she hears Josh Dubovie shouting in his room- Josh: Ahahahaha, Norway will never know what hit them! Because it is I who cut the stage, BWAHAHAHAHAHA *Josh gets a megaphone out* Josh: Just in case they can't hear me, I'll make it more obvious, *shouts in megaphone* IT WAS ME WHO DID IT! Lena: Oh no, it's Josh who did this! -Wondering why he cut the stage?- -Well tough shit- -No explanation is given- *Suddenly, Alexander Rybak shows up for no reason* Alexander Rybak: Oh hey Lena, why are you waiting outside the door. Lena: Dunno lol *Lena walks back to her room* *Josh comes out of his room and sees Alex there, and thinks that he's overheard his EXTREMELY LOUD CONFESSION* Alexander: Ahhh... uhm... *runs off* Josh: God damn it! Now I will have to deal with that petty Norwegian! ----Chapter Three---- Lena: Hey Stefan I just heard the British guy shouting in his room that it was him who cut the stage. Stefan: Don't be silly Lena, that is ridiculous and nonsensical! What could he possibly hope to achieve by doing such a thing? Lena: Stefan, we're in 'Norwegian Nights' It doesn't have to make sense! Stefan: OH MY GOD *Meanwhile Alexander Rybak is in the garden* Alexander: It sure is nice to be out here in the garden. Josh Dubovie: *jumps out from nowhere* Alex! I know you heard me talking last night! Alexander: Talking about what? Josh: About how I cut the stage, that's what! Alexander: Wait, you cut the stage? Josh: Ah shit. Alexander: It wasn't me hanging around outside your room yesterday by the way, it was Lena. Josh: Oh, ok. *Josh goes into the hotel to find Lena* -Only Lena has the only hotel room that locks- Lena: Sure is fun having the only hotel room that locks. Michael: *banging on Lena's door* Hey, let me in! Lena: Who the hell are you? Michael: Swiss guy. Lena: Oh, ok, *she let's him in*. Stefan: Doesn't he have his own room to go to? Lena: Shut up Stefan, all the Eurovision entrants have to be in one room so the author can write about them all at once! -Suddenly Milan and Juliana run up to the room and start banging on the door- Milan: Hey, let us in! Stefan: You've got to be fucking kidding me. -They let Milan and Juliana into their room- -Juliana crows about the bible yet again- --In one sentence Josh is kicking over a plant pot, and in the next this is described as 'the Brits mounting destruction'- -Make your mind up, for god sake- --Then, the Eurovision Song Contest actually happens-- -But it's glossed over and barely mentioned- -Hey, I thought this fanfic was about the Eurovision or something- -I guess not- **** --'Lost and Forgotten'-- *Insert Eurovision song lyrics here* -Peter Nalitch is rewatching the Eurovision- Peter: Aw man, I'm getting booed. This is awful. I wonder why I'm sitting here rewatching myself get booed? I mean, I could just turn the TV off... *There is a knock at the door and Lena comes in* Peter: Lena? How did you get my address? Lena: Stefan gave it to me lol Peter: How did he get my address? Lena: Dunno lol Stefan Raab: The author gave it to me because they wanted to write yet another contrived Eurovision fanfiction! Peter: Oh I see, so, why are you here Lena? Lena: I wanted to show you that everyone in Russia still loves you! Look out of the window, I've got everyone standing outside to show their love for you! --No explanation is given as to how Lena arranged all of this-- Peter: Wow, that's pretty cool, thanks Lena. Lena: :3 The End. **** --'From Belgrade to Zagreb'-- *Insert comment about the capital of Croatia being a quiet city (it isn't)* Milan: Oh hey, I'm Serbian. And I'm in Croatia! That's pretty cool, let's go outside. --Outside, Marko is on the phone-- Marko: Wow, I'm so busy with my new iphone that I wouldn't even notice if a car came towards me! -A car is coming towards him- Milan: Oh no! -Milan runs into the road and saves him somehow- Marko: Oh hey, thanks. Milan: You're welcome. Marko: Oh no, you've got a Serbian accent and I hate Serbians! Milan: Oh... ok. *Suddenly 'Albanian Militants' (what) come and try to kidnap Milan* Marko: (gets gun out) No you cannot do this! Albanian Militants: Oh no he's got a gun! Run awaaaaay! -The Albanian Militants run away- Milan: Oh hey, thanks. Marko: Meh, whatever. *Insert some weird moral about ex-Yugoslav countries getting along here* The End. **** --'Pokevision'-- *Oh god, this has twelve chapters and is going to be a long one* ----Chapter One---- *Scientists are making pokemon* Pikachu: Pikachu! Scientists: We've made a Pokemon Virtual Reality, now let's release it so everyone can play! *Meanwhile, in Lena and Stefan's house* --Stefan is watching Wetten Dass...? which is hosted by Thomas Gottschalk (this is important later for some reason)-- *Thomas Gottschalk uses the word 'thus' every five seconds, probably because the author thinks it makes him look smart and they have no idea what 'thus' actually means* Thomas Gottschalk: Wow, looks like I'm in this fanfiction now! Doesn't Silver know that you shouldn't put random things into fanfiction just because you like them? Stefan Raab: Obviously not, since this is a crossover between Pokemon and the freaking Eurovision Song Contest. Thomas Gottschalk: Oh yeah, anyway, I just wanted to announce that Wetten Dass...? is cancelled because I'm addicted to playing pokemon now, lolkthxbai. Stefan: WHAT?!?! NOOOOOOO!!!! GOD DAMN YOU GOTTSCHALK!!!!! Lena: That was really overly dramatic. Oh hey Stefan, I want to play Pokemon like everyone else. Stefan: Lena, you can't play Pokemon, because you are a robot! (what what what) *Insert reference to Norwegian Nights, where we discovered, in one of the worst ass-pulls in fanfiction history, that Lena was a robot* Stefan: Robots may not be able to enter virtual reality! Lena: Let's try it anyway! Stefan: Ok lol. ---Chapter Two--- *In this chapter we are told that this story is really about the Eurovision, and not about Pokemon at all (which is what I would assume it was about, you know, it being in the POKEMON section of FF and all.* Silver: Hahaha, I tricked you! Me: FFFFUUUU- --Strange comment is made about all the streets being empty due to everyone playing pokemon-- *Lena is ringing Peter for no particular reason, other than LOL EUROVISION* Lena: Hey Peter, it's me, Lena. Peter: Oh hey Lena, I'm going to gather all of the Eurovision entrants and we're all going to play the game together. Lena: That is highly inpractical. Peter: But Lena, the author! They want a Eurovision fic! Lena: Oh yeah, well ok, let's do that then. *Lena and Stefan buy helmets from some shop, and then go home to play POKEMON VIRTUAL REALITY* Stefan: It may not work, since you are a robot! *They put the helmets on and it does work for Lena, rendering nearly everything Stefan has said moot* Lena: Oh hey, looks like we're in the Pokemon world now. Stefan: Yeaaaah! It worked! Eurovision Entrants: Hello Lena! Great to see you here! Lena: Hey everyone! Juliana Pasha: Hello, it's me again, the embodiment of anti-Christian stereotypes. The only reason I am here is so the author can 'subtly' bash Christians. And look, I've brought a bible with me. That's not stereotypical or anything, no, not at all. Stefan: We need conflict in this story, and since you don't argue with Milan anymore, in this story, you're going to argue with me! Juliana: *tosses bible at Stefan* BLASPHEMY! YOU GO AGAINST THE WORD OF GOD!!! --Juliana crows on about the Bible-- Juliana Pasha: (the following things that Juliana says are lifted directly from the fic) Stop blaspheming, fallen angel from the bowels of Lucifer! I shouldn't have been yelling at Milan during the contest, as the real devil among us is you, Stefan Raab! --What-- --No seriously, what-- *Professor Oak comes into the room* Professor Oak: Hello everyone, please stop arguing, I have some pokemon for you all! --Everyone gets good pokemon except for Gjoko Taneski-- Gjoko: Hey, why do I get a magikarp? Magikarp: Magi! Magikarp! (and yes, the author must include lines of pokemon speech every five seconds, so you better get used to it) Professor Oak: It's the only pokemon left, also, the author didn't like your Eurovision entry. Gjoko: Aw man. *All the Eurovision entrants and their pokemon walk out of the lab and into a place called 'Pokemon Forest' (that's original)* ---Chapter Three--- *This is the worst chapter* --A scientist is perfecting the Pokemon Virtual Reality, when suddenly, he accidently spills coca cola all over the servers-- Scientist: Oh no! I accidently a coca cola bottle! --The author then explains that this has broken the 'entrance' and 'exit' data chips of the server, so now no one can leave or enter the game-- --Hey, maybe the Eurovision entrants will be trapped inside the game-- --That would be good-- --Then there wouldn't be so many fanfictions about them-- *Meanwhile, some 'Kansan scientists' are playing the game, but every so often, they must check on the nuclear power plant* *But now, they can't leave the game* Kansan scientists: Oh no!!! *The power plant explodes* -KABANG- *Insert stock mushroom-cloud image here* --Kansas is described as erupting in 'a giant ball of flame and ash'. Holy shit-- Lena: Oh hey, lots of people in the game are disappearing. Stefan: Oh yeah, Kansas just blew up or some shit. But forget about that, and let's talk about the Eurovision again! --The Dutch entrant, Sieneke, actually says that the Eurovision took place six months ago-- -They're still talking about the Eurovision six months after it happened- -What is with this story- --SUDDENLY, A PIKACHU JUMPS OUT-- --FORGET ABOUT ALL THAT KANSAS SHIT-- --IT'S PIKACHU-- Gjoko: Oh hey, since I only got a magikarp before, I should have this pikachu. *Skipping the long battle scene in which nearly all of the Eurovision entrants get their pokemon out* --They catch the pikachu and give it to Gjoko-- Gjoko: Yay! Pikachu: Pika! Pikachu! *Juliana is concerned that virtual reality is akin to 'playing god'* Stefan: Why does that even matter you religious zealot? Juliana: (the following is, again, lifted directly from the fic) You sir, yes YOU, are the most digusting example of a human being I have EVER witnessed in all my life. Spreading the lies of evolution and the dinosaurs and poisoning the minds of our young ones with this scientific filth of nonsense! Peter Nalitch: Wow, that's highly over the top and unbelievable. Michael von der Heide: I know, how is this in any way good characterization? No one would talk like this in real life. Juliana: Shut up you two! GOD! JESUS! THE BIBLE! --Juliana tries to leave the game but can't because of the scientist who messed up earlier-- Juliana: FFFFUUUUU- Stefan: Ha ha ha! You're stuck with us now! Sieneke: Oh hey everyone, let's go to Lavender Town for no reason at all! --Silver shows off her Pokemon knowledge by mispelling Gastly-- -I'm assuming the author is a girl- -She probably is- -Most fanfiction authors are girls, right?- Sieneke: This way everyone! *They start to go to Lavender Town* ---Chapter Four--- **** --'Vladivostok 2000'-- *Russian band Mumiy Troll are watching the news* *These people have never appeared in Norwegian Nights before, and probably never will again* -Everywhere is stated to be 'peaceful as usual'- Ilya Lagutenko: Looks like everywhere is peaceful as usual. Considering how easy it is to get guns past customs in this universe, and how batshit insane everyone is, that is quite an achievement. -No one mentions the Eurovision directly, but some obscure references to 'the contest' are made- -How subtle- -And by subtle I mean that author might as well be hitting us with a brick that says 'Eurovision' on it- Yuri Tsaler: Hello everyone, I am also a member of Mumiy Troll. Oh, and I'm a world famous hacker. *Yuri taps at his laptop* *The author feels the need to put in sound effects* *Tap tap tap* Yuri: Oh hey, I've just hacked into the Kremlin for no reason! Oleg and Sdwig: NOOOOOO! Ilya: Yuri! What have I told you about hacking into things? Don't you remember that time when... -Seriously, this fanfiction has more flashbacks than Family Guy- *Suddenly, Vladimir Putin shows up!* Ilya: Oh hey look, it's Vladimir Putin, now that's a coincidence. Putin: You four! Stop hacking into things! I know it was you because blah blah blah... Yuri: Yap yap yap, can't you see I'm trying to hack? Putin: Such insolence! Anyway, I've banned all IP addresses in Vladivostok from accessing any government system somehow! Yuri: Aw man! *Putin then leaves and goes outside to where Dmitri Medvedev is waiting in a car* Putin: Drive Dmitri! Drive us out of this fanfiction! Hurry, please! Dmitri: Ok ok *drives off* Ilya: Hey, anyone else get the feeling that what just happened was completely pointless? -It was- The End. **** --'Me And My Guitar'-- Tom Dice: Oh hey, it's me, Tom Dice, the Belgian Eurovision entrant. You may not remember me because THE AUTHOR HAS NEVER MENTIONED ME BEFORE. *People keep coming up to Tom and asking him pointless questions, since he was allegedly in Pokevision (but he was not mentioned in it once)* Tom Dice: Oh you guys, I just did what anyone would have done (which was do nothing, since I wasn't even in the fic) *Later on* Tom Dice: I do not like being a celebrity. *Tom goes into a shop* Shopkeeper: Wow, you're a celebrity! You can have free things from my shop! Tom Dice: Oh! Now I love being a celebrity! --The Mayor of Belgium goes up to Tom-- (there is no such thing as the Mayor of Belgium, god damn it) Mayor of Belgium: Wow Tom, you sure put Belgium on the map! Here, have this key to Belgium Palace! --There is no Belgium Palace either, FFS--- Tom Dice: Wow, thanks! People of Belgium: We all love you Tom! --Of course you love him-- --This is Norwegian Nights-- --Everyone loves the Eurovision here-- --The Norwegian Nights Universe is a mockery of real life-- --An absolute mockery, I tell you!-- People of Belgium: Tom is the greatest!!!! The End. **** --'Spain and Portugal'-- *Daniel Diges, the Spanish Eurovision entrant, is walking down the road* *Yes, 'the road', that is all that is specified about his location* Daniel: It sure is fun walking down the road! *Suddenly, Filipa Azevedo, the Portuguese entrant, appears from nowhere!* Filipa: Oh hey, looks like this is yet another one of those stories which is basically just 'lol look here's Eurovision entrants bumping into each other'. Daniel: We're not bumping into each other Filipa, we do it on purpose. Filipa: No we don't. Daniel: Oh, you don't? Well I do, anyway. Filipa: That's creepy. Oh hey, the border to Portugal is just over this hill, let's go to Portugal! Daniel: Well, I don't see why not, I've never been there before. *They both go over the hill to Portugal, where it is snowing due to global warming* (what) *I believe Silver may have failed Geography class* Filipa: Oh hey, let's have a snowball fight! -They do- The End. **** --Summary of your awful fanfic 'Inside the PVR System'-- Silver: Oh yeah, remember that virtual reality thing from Pokevision? Well, here's another story about it. --Oh god no-- *Oscar Loya is sitting on the grass with his pikachu* Oscar: I'm going to infodump about stuff no one cares about -He does- Oscar: Oh hey Pikachu, I know you want to evolve so here's a thunderstone! *Pikachu evolves into Raichu* Raichu: Rai! Raichu! --That's all that happens in that story-- --It took Silver nearly 600 words to type that-- --Seriously-- The End. **** --'The Bundesvision Song Contest'-- --Just warning everyone, this is quite possibly the worst fanfiction from Norwegian Nights-- --Even by Silver's standards, this is bad-- --Ok, let's begin-- ---Chapter One--- -Pointless Stuff- -More pointless stuff- --There was no point to that-- -Absolutely no point- **** --'Ring Ring'-- -Lena is at home playing on her X-Box. The game she is playing has been banned in Britain.- Lena: This game is weird lol --Suddenly, Sebastian teleports behind her using his alien powers- Sebastian: Oh hey Lena, sorry to teleport on you like this, but you left your mobile phone at the Bundesvision. Lena: How did you get my address? Sebastian: ... Take the phone, Lena. *Lena takes the phone* Lena: So Sebastian, want to play this game with me? It's been banned in Britain because Brits found it offensive! Sebastian: Ok, let's play this. --The game is nothing but racist garbage spewed at the British. 'Hilarious' levels include ripping down British flags, and deporting British tourists from Spain.-- Lena: This game sucks. **They both hear a car pull up outside, it is Stefan Raab** Sebastian: Woah, I better go now, because he'd probably be creeped out if he knows I teleported into his house! *Sebastian teleports away* --Stefan comes in-- Stefan: Hello Lena. Lena: Hello Stefan. Stefan: Anything weird happen while I was away? Lena: lol no The End. **** --'The Decision'-- -Dirk and Bernd, who were in the Bundesvision, are at a football match- Dirk: Oh my, we actually have a fanfiction about us. Bernd: I know, the other fanfics are all about the Eurovision! I can't believe there is one about us two! Oh, and by the way, this was never mentioned before but I'm half-Turkish, and this football match is Germany vs Turkey! Dirk: Wow! Now you can angst about which team you will support! Bernd: I know, isn't that great! --Off-handed comment about there being a lot of Turks in Germany-- Bernd: Better choose who to support! *Bernd chooses to support Germany* **Germany WINS the match** Dirk: YEAAAAAH! GERMANYYYY! Bernd: Uhm... yay. Dirk: That's pretty half-hearted, if I didn't know any better I'd say you were supporting Turkey instead of us. Bernd: I was supporting Turkey. Dirk: Oh ok, let's forget about this now and go home. Bernd: Ok. The End. **** --'In A Moment Like This'-- --Chanee and N'evergreen, the Danish Eurovision entrants, are in Belarus for no reason in particular-- -There is a maze there, imaginatively called 'Minsk Maze', (this does not exist in real life) which, once you're in, it's hard to get out again- *Ruslan Alehno, who is yet another Eurovision entrant (go figure) warns them about going in the maze. Ruslan: Do not go in the maze! If you do, you will be stuck there until the morning. *Ruslan then leaves* Chanee: Hey, let's go in the maze. N'evergreen: What, didn't you hear Ruslan? He told us NOT to go in the maze! Chanee: Oh, I heard him alright. But if we don't go in the maze, the author won't get the plot that they want, so I have to ignore his advice and run in. *Chanee runs into the maze* N'evergreen: I will also ignore his advice and run after you! *N'evergreen runs into the maze* Chanee and N'evergreen: Oh, we're lost. --Chanee and N'evergreen then start yapping about things that happened in previous fanfictions-- --They then find Miro in the maze, who is, SHOCKINGLY, yet another Eurovision entrant!-- Miro: Oh hey there you guys! It sure is a coincedence that us Eurovision entrants keep running into each other, huh? I'm not going to mention it though, lest the author smite me with fury. N'evergreen: Hey Miro, can you help us get out of here? Miro: No, I am also lost. Dun dun DUNNNN!!! --Suddenly, Ruslan comes back to save the day-- Ruslan: Never fear, the Belarussian is here! (He actually says that in the fic I swear to god) N'evergreen: We're lost. Ruslan: I know you're lost, but I am here to help you all out of here! *They follow Ruslan who knows the maze because he's Belarussian, so obviously he would know it off by heart.* Ruslan: We are out now. Chanee: Let's talk about the Eurovision. All: YAAAAY! The End. **** --'Thunder and Lightning'-- -In an unnamed museum in Serbia- Milan: Wow, it sure is great to be in this museum. Oh look, here's some artifacts from the Yugoslavian Wars! I better mention that, since it's a good topic to angst over later. Vukasin Brajic: Oh hey Milan, it's me, the Bosnian Eurovision entrant. Wow, what a contrived coincidence bumping into you like this! Milan: It's no coincidence. The author merely wanted us to bump into each other because they are obsessed with the Eurovision Song Contest, of all things. Vukasin: Does this mean I am cursed to bump into you for all eternity? *Suddenly, Marko appears from nowhere* Marko: No, you are cursed to bump into me! The racist Croatian! Milan: Oh no! --Marko is holding a bucket of worms which he then throws at some woman for being Serbian, even though they are in Serbia-- --Like always with Silver's precious characters, Marko never faces any consequences for this action-- Woman: Noooo, not worms! Marko: Hahahaha -No one does anything to help the woman as obviously she is in the wrong- Marko: Hahahaha I'm so funny --A Serbian guy comes up to them and Marko throws worms at him too-- Marko: Ahahahahahaha -In real life, people would beat the crap out of Marko for this, or at least get him arrested. However, this is Norwegian Nights, so nothing happens to him.- --They all walk out of the museum and into a park-- Marko: *scooping up snowball* I'm going to throw this at the next Serb I see! --As they are in Serbia, it doesn't take long for a Serb to show up-- Serb: Hello, what is the time? --The Serbian is a big, strong bodybuilder or something, so Marko drops the snowball and tells him the time-- *Everyone laughs at Marko for being a hypocritical douchebag* Vukasin and Milan: Ahahahahaha Marko: Oh uh... I better go now! *leaves* --Vukasin and Milan sit on a bench and watch the sunset or some shit-- The End. **** --'Sieneke's Ship'-- Sieneke: Wow, this is fun! I am reading Twilight! This book is almost as bad as this story! Sieneke's mom: Sieneke, you can't sit around reading Twilight all day. Go outside and do something. Sieneke: Uh... like what? Sieneke's mom: Dunno lol, just go out. -Sieneke goes outside, and, conviently, she finds a lake with a boat on it- Sieneke: I will ride this boat! *She does just that, and rides to the other side of the lake* Erik Solbakken: Hello Sieneke, it's me, remember? The presenter of the Eurovision Song Contest. It's a strange coincidence that we would run into each other like this, but, like all of these stories, this is left unexplained. Sieneke: Hey Erik, get on my ship! Erik: Oh ok. *Erik gets on the ship* Erik: So what are you doing on this ship anyway? Sieneke: Trying to ride it like on that one movie I saw once. Erik: Oh, and which movie was that? Sieneke: Titanic. -That was the author's attempt at a joke- Silver: Hurrr get it, because the Titanic sinks, LOLOL -Your fic sucks- Silver: Oh :( *Sieneke rides the ship (is it a boat or a ship, make your mind up already author) back to where she was before* Owner of the boat/ship: !!!! You stole my boat/ship!!! How dare you! --Remember that this is Silver's Universe where all her precious snowflake Eurovision entrants can do whatever they please, so the owner of the boat/ship immediately forgives them.-- Owner of the boat/ship: I forgive you, just don't steal my boat/ship ever again. Ask me next time. Sieneke: Oh hey, he forgave us, that's strange. Erik: That is strange, almost like we're characters in some sort of bad fanfiction and the author is bending the rules for us. Sieneke: Oh well, I've gotta go back to reading Twilight, see ya Erik. The End. **** --'Chosen For Cyprus'-- Christos: Wow this is great, I'm going to be the Cypriot entry for next years Eurovision! *Suddenly, his phone rings* Christos: Oh, hello? Who is this? Lena: It's me, Lena. Just thought I'd phone you even though I don't know you, which is not creepy at all. Christos: Actually, that is pretty creepy. How did you get my number, anyway? Lena: Oh, Gottschalk gave it to me. He has a computer with a list of everyone's phone numbers on. I just asked him and he gave it to me. Christos: Uhh... ok. I think there may be some security issues at wherever Gottschalk works. --For some reason, the phone number of the Cypriot Eurovision entry is then described as 'sensitive information in the German government'.-- *Insert obscure reference to one of Silver's other terrible fanfictions* Lena: Oh, better go now, bye! *Lena ends the phone call* --Christos then goes to his balcony to look down on people and muse to himself about the Eurovision.-- -The author describes the Eurovision Song Contest as a 'whirlpool of adventure' (what).-- *I don't know what Eurovision the author was watching but it certainly wasn't the one I was watching* Christos: I'm going to love being on the Eurovision next year! This is Silver's Universe and here, we all love the Eurovision! Eurovision YEAAAH! --What was the point of this story?-- The End. **** --'Across The Clear Water'-- Bosnian Eurovision Rejects: Hey, we were in the Yugoslavian Wars, let's angst over it. *Several depressing, whiny paragraphs later* Policeman: Hey, enough of your angst. I need to tell you to move from here because the author has no idea how to advance the plot along. Bosnian Eurovision Rejects: Awww.... *The Bosnian Eurovision Rejects move somewhere else* Bosnian Eurovision Rejects: The Yugoslav Wars were awful. Oh, hey, remember all that bullshit that happened in Pokevision? Let's angst over that now instead! -They whine about the events in the even worse fanfiction 'Pokevision'- -Even more whining- Bosnian Eurovision Rejects: Oh hey, it's getting pretty late now, and the author has ran out of ideas, let's all go home. -They do just that- The End. **** --'The Brightest Volcano'-- Iceland: Hey, let's hold a Eurovision Party for no reason! Icelandic Eurovision Rejects: YAAAAAY!!! --Insert obscure reference to one of Silver's previous fanfics here-- --Meanwhile in the party, a horrendous attempt at comic relief is taking place-- Eirikur Hauksson: I got cake or something all over your dress, LOL. Yohanna: Oh no, how will I ever get this out! I HATE YOU BOTH! Hera and Eirikur: Oh no, she hates us both! Now what will we do! Yohanna: lol actually I don't hate you. Hera and Eirkur: Oh, AHAHAHAHAHAHA --They continue to laugh at something that isn't funny-- The End. **** --'A Century Of Love'-- Geta Burlacu: Hey, look at me! I'm walking the cat! Get it, because people are supposed to walk dogs, not cats, and I'm so cool and edgy for walking this cat. Cat: Meow *Suddenly, a dog jumps out from nowhere!* Dog: Woof *The cat runs away into a building* --The owner of the dog appears, and it is a character from one of the author's other crappy fanfics, Ovi-- Ovi: Oh hey, sorry about the dog. Geta: Hey Ovi! Ovi: What, how do you know my name? Geta: What are you talking about? This is Silver's Universe, and in this universe, the Eurovision is the MOST IMPORTANT THING! Ovi: That's... slightly creepy. Geta: I HAVE PICTURES OF YOU ALL OVER MY WALL Ovi: I'm going now. --Ovi and his dog leave-- Geta: Oh, I better go and find my cat *Geta enters the building which is a stadium of some description. She discovers there are other people there.* Geta: Hey, who are you? *It's the previous Moldovan Eurovision entrants* -They greet each other and no one comments on the ridiculously low chance of all the Eurovision entrants bumping into each other like this- --They argue for a while for no reason other than to increase the word count so Silver can feel proud of churning out yet another pointless fanfiction-- Geta: Well, better look for my cat- oh wait, here it is. Cat: Meow. --Geta and her cat leave-- The End. **** -'Comrade Ambassador'- -Russian band Mumiy Troll are sitting in Ilya's house, watching television- -Again- -Don't they ever do anything else?- Yuri: Nothing's ever on TV. What are you watching, Ilya? Ilya: It's the Swiss Eurovision selection, which they are showing here in Russia for some reason. Oleg: Oh yeah, it's Silver, she's been messing with the signals again so that something Eurovision related is on all the channels. Sdwig: She did? God, I hate her. **** The Belgian Civil War -Random scene setting garbage- Tom Dice: Woo, it sure is good to be sitting on a hill. Belgium is so peaceful. --Sudden scene change-- King of Belgium: Oh no! Belgium is now at civil war! -No explanation is given for this- -There is also a 'mayor of Belgium' in this scene, because the author is an asshat- King of Belgium: We should leave the country! Mayor: Yes we should! -They both leave- --Sudden scene change-- --Sudden scene change again-- Silver: Wow, I haven't had nearly enough scenes about how bad Flanders are yet! Let's have another one! Reader: Oh for fuck sake. Evil Flemish Seperatists: A-ha! It is us! The evil Flemish seperatists who are so very evil! Let's go and shoot some vile Walloons! We hate Walloons! Innocent Wallonian Bystanders: Look at us, so innocent and pure. Boo hoo. Silver: Look reader! Look how evil Flanders are! LOOK! Look at pure Wallonia they are innocent cherubs who never do anything wrong ever! Reader: -sigh- Silver: Look how evil- Reader: FOR FUCK SAKE I GET IT ALREADY *banging head on keyboard* --Sudden scene change-- --Again-- ****