10 Christmas Skits.Indd
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10 CHRISTMA S SKITS For Children's Ministry 10 C HRI STMA S SKITS SKIT: IT’S JUST WHAT I’VE ALWAYS WANTED ITEMS NEEDED: Podiums, a game board as described below CHARACTER BREAKDOWN: 2M/1F CHARACTERS Joe - Game show host Dale and Erica - Contestants The stage is set up like a game show, with one podium stage right angled toward two at stage left. You may want to use the video screen to put up a game board with the show name and four categories shown on screen. Feel free to invent and include a few more categories on the board, such as Secret Santa, Best Friend, or My Rotten Little Brother. JOE: Hello and welcome again to It’s Just What I’ve Always Wanted, the game show that wants to know how thankful you can be for those unexpected Christmas gifts you never, ever wanted. Let’s meet our contestants. He’s a soccer player from Detroit. Say hello to Dale Simpson! DALE: Hi, Joe! JOE: And our two-time returning champion, Erica Riggs! ERICA: Thank you for having me back. JOE: Let’s remind our viewers how to play the game. Every year, we all get gifts for Christmas that we really don’t like, but our moms have always taught us to be thank- ful and appreciative, no matter how crummy those gifts may be. Our contestants will choose a category, I’ll tell them about a crummy gift, and they have ten seconds to show just how happy they are with their brand new junk. Our categories today are: Your Aunt Who Knows Nothing About You, Your Senile Old Granny, Gifts from Santa, and Potpourri. Dale, you’re the challenger. Pick a category. 10 CHRISTMAS SKITS: IT’S JUST WHAT I’VE ALWAYS WANTED SKIT DALE: Let’s go with Your Aunt Who Knows Nothing About You for $200 please. JOE: Your aunt comes over on Christmas Eve every year. She loves to sew, and this year she’s sewn something extra special for you, Dale: a frilly pink dress with ruffles and chiffon! DALE: A dress? Really? A dress? Do I look like a little girl to you, Aunt Pearl? Do I look like a little girl? Buzzz. JOE: Oh, I am so sorry, Dale. No points for that. DALE: Sorry, I lost control. That one hit a little close to home. JOE: We’ve all been there, Dale. Erica, the board is yours. ERICA: Let’s go with the same category, $400 please. DALE: Your Aunt flew in especially to see you this year. She still remembers you as that cute newborn baby on your first Christmas. That’s why she brought you a brand new teething ring! ERICA: (pretending to hold a teething ring) Why, Auntie, this is so perfect. It’s just what I was hoping for. You don’t know what this means! Thank you so much! I love you, Aun- tie. Ding! JOE: Four hundred bucks for Erica, and our champion takes the lead. Dale, time to make up some ground. DALE: Okay, let’s go with gifts from Santa. JOE: Dale, what’s the one thing you want most this Christmas? DALE: A new bike! JOE: Well that’s just perfect, Dale, because on Christmas morning, guess what’s wait- ing for you under the tree? A brand new... pack of sweat socks and tidy whitey under- wear! 10 CHRISTMAS SKITS: IT’S JUST WHAT I’VE ALWAYS WANTED SKIT DALE: Socks and underwear? Socks and underwear??? This is an outrage! I washed cars, cut the grass, did the dishes, was nice to my baby sister. I even slept in the bed with cousin Drew who still wets the bed- and I didn’t even complain! I was good this year, Santa, and you bring me underwear? What did I do to deserve this, Santa? What did I do to deserve this?? Buzz. JOE: Oh, I am so sorry, Dale. DALE: Me too. I really wanted that bike. JOE: Erica, here’s your chance to win it all. Pick a category. ERICA: Okay, let’s go with My Senile Old Granny. JOE: It’s Christmas morning, and Granny has brought you the most beautifully wrapped package of all. With everyone watching, you open the box and find... her dead cat. ERICA: (pretending to pick up the cat, getting emotional) Oh Granny, this is the most wonderful gift of all. I loved Mittens so much. Now she’ll always be with me. Thank you, Granny. I love you. Ding! JOE: Erica wins! Erica wins! Our champion for the third game in a row! Congratulations, Erica. Not only did you win today’s game, you also won... a half-eaten cheeseburger and 2-liter of flat, diet soda! ERICA: My favorites! Thank you so much! JOE: Thanks for watching, folks. We’ll see you next time, and remember - always say thank you! 10 CHRISTMAS SKITS: IT’S JUST WHAT I’VE ALWAYS WANTED SKIT: LIGHTS OF THE SEASON ITEMS NEEDED: Colored sweatshirts CHARACTER BREAKDOWN: 6M or F CHARACTERS Red 1 – A red light Yellow – A yellow light Greenie – A green light Blue – A blue light Whitey – A white light Red 2 – Another red light COSTUME NOTE: All the actors should be wearing matching green pants and long sleeve shirts to simulate a string of Christmas lights. Each one has a tall, colored cap shaped like a light bulb that corresponds to their character’s color. Lights are out on stage at the start. The lights come up, and the actors are lined up on stage, holding hands. The main characters are aligned as follows from stage right to left: Red 1, Greenie, Yellow, Blue, Whitey, and Red 2. Other actors dressed similarly may be “attached” to one or both ends leading off stage to create the effect of a longer string of lights. All hang their heads as if asleep. Yellow wakes up first, yawning, then looking down and yelping. YELLOW: Hey. We’re... we’re on a tree. We’re out of the box. Red! Red, wake up! Red 1 wakes up. RED 1: What? What? (looks down) Whoa! Is it Christmas already? YELLOW: Either that, or the family’s having another wacky Christmas in July birthday party. RED 1: Nah, I definitely smell pine. No wait... that’s blue spruce. We’re moving up in the world. YELLOW: Should we wake the others? RED 1: Yeah, might as well. YELLOW: Hey, Greenie! Greenie wakes up. : 10 CHRISTMAS SKITS: LIGHTS OF THE SEASON SKIT GREENIE: I didn’t do it! Oh, hey, Yellow. What’dya wake me up for? YELLOW: Take a look down! GREENIE: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!! Red 2 and Whitey wake up at Greenie’s scream. WHITEY: Hey, Greenie, what’s the-- WHOA! RED 2: Hey, Whitey, we’re on a tree. It must be Christmas. YELLOW: Hey, guys! Merry Christmas down there! WHITEY: Merry Christmas, Yellow! Boy, it sure feels nice not to be tied up in a box, huh? RED 2: Yup. I love that first stretch of the winter. GREENIE: Tell me when this is over! YELLOW: I can’t believe it. After all these years, you’re still afraid of heights? GREENIE: Uh yeah! Hello! Christmas light here. I can’t exactly go see Dr. Phil, can I? WHITEY: Dr. Who? GREENIE: No, Dr. Phil. I saw him on some book Dad gave Mom last year. RED 2: Look at the bright side. We’re on a low branch this year. It’s not that long of a fall. GREENIE: Oooh, Red, please don’t say things like that! YELLOW: Well, I don’t know about you all, but I am glad to be back on a tree. How about you, Blue? WHITEY: Umm, I think Blue’s still asleep. RED 1: He is? YELLOW: Well wake him up! He loves Christmas as much as the rest of us. 10 CHRISTMAS SKITS: LIGHTS OF THE SEASON SKIT GREENIE: Yeah. It’s not like him to sleep through the holidays. Hey, Blue! WHITEY: Blue! RED 2: Wake up, Blue! GREENIE: Hey, Blue, you okay? YELLOW: Maybe we should yell louder. BLUE!!! GREENIE: Come on, Blue. Wake up! Don’t do this, man. RED 1: Do what? What’s Blue doing? WHITEY: Nothing, Red. He’s dead. YELLOW: Dead?? He can’t be dead. Blue, come on, wake up! GREENIE: Stay away from the light, Blue. RED 2: Shouldn’t it be stay away from the dark? GREENIE: Blue? Blue, you’re my boy! Come on, Blue! RED 1: Please tell me he’s lighting up! WHITEY: No chance, Red. He’s gone. YELLOW: Oh no. What are we gonna do? RED 1: I guess we have to go on without him this year. RED 2: I don’t think so, my Red sister. You know well as I do what happens when a bulb goes out. WHITEY: They throw out the whole string. YELLOW: No! They wouldn’t do that to us. After all these Christmases together? WHITEY: Tell that to my White brothers on the White string that got pitched last year. GREENIE: What if we hide the body? Huh? We tuck him back on a branch where he won’t be seen? 10 CHRISTMAS SKITS: LIGHTS OF THE SEASON SKIT RED 1: It’s no good. They’ve spotted us. YELLOW: The Dad is coming over! GREENIE: Go back! Stay away from the lights! RED 2: He’s gonna unplug us! YELLOW: I just wanna say before we go, I love you all! Blackout.