Writing Your Personal History

Setting up and Conducting a Personal History Group

An anthology of writings produced by the 2006-7 Personal History groups was published by Lake Macquarie U3A and launched during Seniors Week, 2008, utilising a grant from the NSW Government.

The course was prepared and presented by Mel Davies for Lake Macquarie U3A. PART A

TO THE COURSE LEADER (for your eyes only!) This activity is designed to run for the whole year. It has been found that a 2 hour session every second week works well. The recommended number in a group is ten - no more than twelve.

There are only two basic class “rules": 1. Come to every session equipped with paper & pen 2. Come prepared to share with other members of the group. As course leader I participated in the remembering and sharing of memories. I found this strategy worked well and what’s more I really enjoyed it!

While the original intention was for this course to run for one year, by popular demand (and a little twisting of the course leader’s arm) it was repeated the following year. New members were accepted into the group (from a waiting list) as vacancies arose. I appointed a mentor for each new arrival and it became an unofficial practice

U3A Network NSW Resources Library 1 for the ”newie” and mentor (and often a few more) to retire to a nearby coffee shop for a cuppa and a chat after the “newie’s” initial session.

Having mentioned coffee (and by implication also tea) need I say that of course a “cuppa” was part of each session. Make sure you schedule a break, say mid-way through the session. Be firm about it taking no more than 10 minutes, discussion can resume with cup-in-hand. In Lake Macquarie we were fortunate enough to have the urn bubbling away all the time so it was just a matter of getting a beverage of choice plus a biscuit and getting back to business. Members of the group took it in turn to make sure the “makings”, mugs, etc were set out before the session began. And here’s a hint- keep it simple & keep it to biscuits. Leave the sponges, scones with jam & cream etc. for a slap-up feast at the end of Term/Semester.

The majority of the memoir writing was done at home - this is the reason for two weeks between sessions. The emphasis, as I’ve said before, is on sharing what they have written with others. (That’s why the number in a group needs to be limited.) An attitude of “I’ll just listen” wasn’t tolerated. However some are more hesitant than others so initially I suggest to these people that they share a story with the group orally, on the understanding that they will try writing their next story. Usually this approach works, once the stories begin to flow it’s interesting to see how confidence grows and an atmosphere of trust develops within the group.

You will need to keep a written record of who reads at sessions to ensure that everyone eventually contributes to each “round”. Usually it will be sufficient to ask “who’s next?”, however on occasion you will need to nominate.

I asked that work to be read out not exceed 750 words. You need to be flexible, of course, but you also need to guard against the one who will go on, and on ……..

I emphasised at all stages that a really interesting memoir is one that not only tells what happened but how the author felt when it happened.

Have the group (group leader included) sit in a circle so they can maintain eye contact with each other.

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Free-writing – an “ideas” exercise. The aim of this “ideas” exercise is to have them write down whatever comes into their heads. It serves to get the words flowing from the pen. Give them a “memory trigger” (some provided below). Have them write for 5 minutes - whatever comes into their heads – a “stream of consciousness” response - not worrying about structure, sentences etc. at this stage, just putting pen to paper and writing.

Then everyone reads what they’ve written. You’ll find that some will at first find this approach difficult. Don’t worry – they will get the idea by listening to the more spontaneous responses of others.

I use “triggers” such as:  A piece of music  A picture  A “mood” word or brief phrase to evoke a response: A colour (black. grey and yellow work well); a smell (very evocative of memory); a sound (e.g. rain on a tin roof); the wind; fire. There are of course many, many more.  Ask them to respond to a short, sharp “No!” or “Run!”  A concept such as “justice”.  plus anything else you or members of the group can think of!

I use ‘free writing” in two ways: 1. For the opening 15-20 minutes of the first two sessions of the Semester/Term to help them get over the “but how do I get started….!!” stage. 2. Once more during the Semester for the last 15-20 minutes of the session.

They are encouraged to develop these responses into memoirs and add them to their “memory scrapbooks.”

The “process” of writing has five stages:

U3A Network NSW Resources Library 3 Pre-Writing: brainstorm, free-write Drafting: get thoughts down on paper; don’t worry about spelling or punctuation at this stage.

Revising: move text around, reorganise paragraphs, read aloud. Editing: check sentence construction, spelling and punctuation, have someone read your work. Publishing: make a final copy, proof read, publish.

NOTE: the extent to which you might choose to move into this” area will depend on the interests and ability of your group. Don’t make it too technical; this is not a “writing” course; it’s a course in which writing is used for a particular purpose. Some class members will probably never get beyond stage 3. However, as the aim of this course is to encourage members of the group to assemble their own “mental scrapbooks” why not (gently) encourage quality as well as quantity?

Discussion of issues arising from shared memoirs – How much time should be allowed?

This can be a problem. While it’s all very interesting, this is not a philosophy course or a current affairs discussion group. I try to limit discussion between presentations to 2 minutes, no longer. Sometimes this isn’t easy and, as always, it’s necessary to be flexible. However, the group itself will come to realise that too much discussion of this kind eats into the time available for reading (sharing) of their work.

However, this will be your group – the decisions will be yours. If you would like to discuss any aspect of this course, please don’t hesitate to contact me as below: Mel Davies 31/154 Brighton Ave., Toronto NSW 2283 Email: [email protected]

U3A Network NSW Resources Library 4 PART B COURSE MATERIAL Course Leader: The following pages were duplicated, fastened in a manila folder and issued to each student when he/she joined the group. Yes – 25% of the membership of the group was male.

Setting up and Conducting a Personal History Group

Course Outline. This course has a very simple format. We will dip into our memories, share and compare them with others in the group and then, most importantly, write them down. At the end of the course you will (hopefully) have compiled your own “mental scrapbook” of those memories which have served to shape your life – and had a lot of fun doing so! You might decide to hand your “Scrapbook” on to your family.

An autobiography is the story of a life: the name implies that the writer will somehow attempt to capture all the essential elements of his/her life. An autobiography is not expected to deal merely with the author’s growth and career but also with the facts and emotions connected to family life, education, relationships, sexuality, travel and inner struggles of all kinds.

A memoir, on the other hand, makes no pretence of replicating a whole life, it simply tells a story (one of many) from your life. Writing a memoir involves remembering bits and pieces of your life and putting them down on paper. The memoirist both tells the story and muses on it, trying to unravel what it means in the light of his/her current knowledge. The contemporary memoir includes retrospection as an essential part of the story. Your reader will be both entertained by the story itself and interested in how you now, looking back on it, understand it. In all kinds if informal essays (a memoir is a form of essay) the “voice” is conversational. One modern relative of the

U3A Network NSW Resources Library 5 memoirist is the newspaper columnist whose chatty style is immediately recognisable and in contrast to the impersonal style of journalism found elsewhere in the newspaper, for example in the Editorial. A memoir requires that the reader feels spoken to, not at.

Two of the important skills of memoir writing are the selection of the theme that will bind the work together and a decision regarding the focus. Perhaps you want to record a school experience and how you now perceive it to have influenced the rest of your life. Perhaps you have had first-hand experience of war, of prejudice, of physical hardship. Perhaps you may decide to reflect on your relationship with a parent, a sibling. By setting boundaries in this way you as a writer can keep the focus on one aspect of your life and offer your reader an in-depth exploration of it.

Memoir, then, is how one remembers one’s own life, while an autobiography is history, requiring research, dates, facts double-checked in the search for things that are beyond the realm of memory. You can write many memoirs over time – it’s a bit like making a quilt!

So in this course we will concentrate on recalling and capturing our memories in memoir form.

If at a later date you decide to write your autobiography, your memoirs will provide the starting point.

With this in mind we’ll set out to trigger our memories.

Getting the mind into gear A useful strategy is to divide your life into six stages. The dividing lines suggested below are, of course, arbitrary, but lines have to be drawn somewhere.

1. Childhood: Birth-12 years 2. Adolescence: 13-19 years 3. Young adulthood: 20-30 years

U3A Network NSW Resources Library 6 4. Adulthood 31-45 years 5. Late adulthood: 46-60 6. Maturity: 60 >>>>>>

Sitting down to write a memoir. 1. Remind yourself that you are not writing your autobiography. You do not have to tell the story of your whole life! Think in terms of theme and focus. 2. Get into an opinionated or at least questioning state of mind. 3. Above all, remember that it’s essential to find your “voice”. In simple terms this means the way you write, your “literary fingerprint”. The memoir should have a conversational tone – imagine you are talking with someone, even if that person is at the time yourself!

Now – time to get started Choose your “special” memoir (remember - theme & focus). Then begin by jotting down some ideas. Try to recall names, places, visualisations, objects and other details that will make your memoir vivid & interesting. At this stage it’s a good idea to work in short “bursts” over a few days. Once you seem to have it all down on paper or on the computer, you’re ready to begin composing your memoir. As you write you’ll be surprised at the number of other details that surface. Don’t worry about editing at this stage. Have someone else read what you’ve written if possible – better still, read it aloud to them. Take their reactions on board but stay in your comfort zone – remember, this is your memoir!

What should I include and what should I leave out? This is a question which often arises when autobiographies, memoirs, family or personal histories are being written. There may be things which are intensely personal. You may be in possession of knowledge which would/could, if revealed, cause hurt to others. This is why so many memoirs/autobiographies are published post- mortem or after someone else has died. This is an ethical issue which you, the writer, may be forced to consider. Ultimately the choice must be yours.

A practice exercise

U3A Network NSW Resources Library 7 1. (Version 1) Think of a family story you have told or have heard told many times. Make notes about it and decide what the theme of the story is. Then write the story down as clearly and in as few words as possible. Do not stray from the theme and do not explain who the people in the story are. Do not give background information. 2. (Version 2) Now, imagine you are talking to a close and trusted fiend. Write down your thoughts about the story as if talking with that friend, assuming he/she has already heard the story. Do you now think (1) was it true as told? What was left out so that everyone could feel comfortable with its being a family story? What does it say about the people involved and about you? 3. (Final version) Rewrite the story incorporating some of the speculations from version #2 or letting some of the insights from version #2 influence and perhaps change the way you tell it.

To get you started on Stage 1 (childhood) here are some memory “triggers.” 1. A special pair of shoes 2. A childhood friend 3. My favourite room 4. Once, with my brother/sister, I…….. 5. I am lost… 6. The day I got caught 7. Smells of childhood 8. A time when someone told you “No!” 9. I didn’t want to go 10. A secret pleasure or place 11. Hugs and kisses 12. I loved it when…… 13. A special gift 14. I’m sad.

NOW – on your way! Get started on your first memoir.

U3A Network NSW Resources Library 8 Here are some general memory triggers you might find useful as you work your way through the other six stages.

1. When did you really feel independent for the first time? 2. Describe in as much detail as possible a collection of something you had when you were younger. 3. What memory do you sometimes wish would disappear? 4. Why didn’t I stop then? Write about a time you wish you had stopped – but didn’t. 5. Was it supposed to be funny? What memory does the word “prank” stir up for you? 6. What war did you survive? Although you may not have been in any “real” war, chances are you ARE a veteran of some conflict. Write about your “war” or “wars”. 7. Which sin did you probably commit first? 8. What were you a die-hard fan of when you were younger? 9. Who has most influenced your life? 10. If you could choose to re-live any moment in your life, what moment would it be? ENJOY!

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