“Wrestling With God” Shortly after at the River Jabbok, a man wrestled Genesis 32:22-30, Psalm 17:1-7, 15, August 13, 2017 with Jacob until daybreak. If this opportunistic upstart Pinehurst Congregational Church Reverend Martha M. Nilsen thinks he is going to possess these blessings, well then, God has another thought in mind. The labored wrestling goes Have you ever wrestled with God? This is not a on for hours. Yes, Jacob prevails in the physical struggle, rhetorical question, this is an honest question. I don’t know but God will not surrender until Jacob submits to Him. Thus, about you but my wrestlings with God have altered my God strikes Jacob’s hip causing a crippling wound and course in life and changed me forever. In the process of re- suddenly the tide of certain victory reverses itself. Rather directing me, God revealed to me things about myself that I than Jacob subduing God, Jacob is being upheld by Him. hadn’t yet discovered proving just how actively engaged Unable to stand, Jacob clings desperately onto God and, for God is in my life. the first time ever, he cries out to God, I will not let you go At the Jabbok River, Jacob was left alone. Remember until you bless me. Observing Jacob’s humble realization Jacob? Early on he put his personal ambitions ahead of that blessings are from God and God alone, God chooses to everything and everyone. He swindled the birthright of his bless Jacob with the promises given his father. However, older brother, Esau, out from under him. Jacob tricked his God leaves Jacob with a physical reminder of their dying, blind and bedridden father into granting him the struggle...a limp with every future stride. blessings which years before God had bestowed upon his Jabbok, where their all-night encounter took place, father. Unable to discern his son’s deceptive trickery, the means “a place of passing over…” It’s a place in the father unknowingly passes along to Jacob God’s blessings of presence of God where we empty ourselves of our self- the promised land, leadership among nations, and lordship importance and self-adoration. At Jabbok Jacob is re- over generations.

1 created and forever changed as symbolized in a gift: a new written in Arabic to the African families. She holds name which for generations to come would symbolize discussions regarding Muhammad and Jesus, and brought eternal struggle and endurance, in more than one land, Somalis to church dinners. She even moved into the low- during more than one night, as writes Elie Wiesel. income residences, where the Bantu’s were given housing, Danielle L. Mayfield struggled with God. Her so that she could hang out with them regularly. She did it autobiography Assimilate or Go Home details her inner all, yet even as a neighbor, she fails to make a single wrestlings. Her story begins as a nineteen-year-old, convert. Mayfield writes, “I used to think the goal of my life aspiring missionary. She dutifully attends Bible college. was to convert others…I was sure that I had what these She learns how to evangelize. She attends a Christmas folks needed, that I had been graced with all the right party hosted by a church friend in a large farmhouse on the answers.” After a decade without one conversion to outskirts of Portland, Oregon, in 2005. Newly arrived Christianity she concluded, “I was pretty much the worst Muslim, Somali Bantu refugees attend. Gratified, Mayfield missionary ever.” Of her story she writes, “…it’s the story of happens upon the perfect opportunity to be the missionary how I failed miserably and what a good thing that turned she envisions herself to be. Looking at the African refugees out to be.” How was it that failing turned out to be such a shivering in thin cloaks she thought “I am the sun and they good thing? The answer starts and ends with God. were the darkness.” She volunteers to work with the Early on in her wrestling, God made Mayfield aware Somalis. She proselytizes in order to “do some tangible of her arrogance not only as a well-educated, eager young good in this world,” as she puts it. She begins by showing a woman born into a privileged lifestyle, but also as a Jesus film with Somali subtitles, never realizing that the Christian. Mayfield failed over and over again. As she Bantu speak a different dialect. She distributes Bibles writhed over her failure, she unearths a revolting

2 understanding of herself: “…all I really ever wanted was to that I was a complete, utter fraud and failure…It’s the only love on my terms, in a way that elevated me above my way I could ever start to learn to be a listener.” At Jabbok neighbor, distinguished me as good and holy, receiving God exposed Jacob to the fraudulent person he was. Now accolades in a most humble way. All I ever wanted to do in Portland, God was exposing Danielle to the same painful was oppress people, in the kindest way possible.” As she sat reality. in on future conversations among her Somali neighbors, Mayfield quickly learns that living on the margins was God began to awaken Mayfield’s sensitivity to the depth of exactly where Jesus served and ministered. The Bible trauma these individuals had suffered. You see, the Bantu’s college, learned professors, and how-to-convert instruction are on the lowest rung in Somali society. Having been manuals, were of little value to her. As she concludes, Jesus subjected to horrendous injustices, that’s why they fled. As didn’t rely upon any of those resources to build God’s the Somali poet Warsan Shire wrote, “no one leaves home kingdom. What was of value was to be actively and unless a home is the mouth of a shark / you only run for the compassionately present to the Somalis’ striving to survive border when you see the whole city running as well.” in America. She surrendered all future attempts to convert Mayfield soon realized that despite arriving safely in the Somalis to Christianity and instead began to administer Oregon the Somali’s had exchanged the lowest rung in the rudimentary help they needed to navigate life in Somali culture for the lowest rung in American society. Portland like teaching English and gathering needed “Over time, I became immersed in their problems,” she supplies and legal guidance. Listening with love and true states, “falling headfirst into a crash course on how hard it humility she responds with practical solutions and in so is to make it on the margins of the Empire…I went from doing, discovers God ministering to her as well. Mayfield feeling like an expert to a saint to finally nursing the belief feels God loving her as He loves each and every Somali,

3 converting them and her to the deeper realities of God’s I conclude, when we wrestle with God, we come to embracing and nurturing nature. How ironic! Her years of realize that God isn’t solely OURS as Christians, to own, proselytizing becomes Mayfield’s conversion story at tame and control. What is OURS are the opportunities to Portland, her Jabbok. love all others and in so doing we help bring about God’s By the book’s end, Mayfield proclaims that in God’s kingdom in the here and now, even in the smallest of ways. Kingdom of Love “there are no hierarchies, no gold stars,” As well, on a future day, when you find yourself wrestling that is, no one better than anyone else, and “no way to lose with God, remember it is not something to be avoided but the love of the Almighty.” God loves everybody! No matter, journeyed through. And wherever this wrestling takes the oppressed or the oppressor as Mayfield came to see place, “it is a place of passing over” of self-emptying and herself; no matter, whether an American or an African; no self-transformation. At your place of Jabbok, be ready to matter, whether a Christian or a Muslim; no matter, discover more about God. But more importantly, be ready whether privileged or poor, “God loves us the same,” she to discover more about yourself as He unveils yourself to testifies. And that includes every one of us and the children you. And what a good thing it will turn out to be! Amen. here today! But all the while that God is loving all of us, He is asking us not to assimilate to cultural hierarchies or to self-preoccupation. Instead let’s take this “Home” in which we all dwell at the same time and make it, as Mayfield concludes, “more like the kingdom we have always dreamed of.” Pastoral Prayer

4 Lord, we thank you that we can wrestle with you through prayer. We thank you that you listen with patience and passion to our every plea. Life as we are experiencing it in the world today is a deep challenge to our belief in Your creative goodness. Our faith in our democracy, our government and in other people is challenging this belief. So, we turn to you, knowing we can express our frustrations, anger, and dismay. Our blessing is that you promise to journey with us, each and every day…no matter and hard as it might be, in wrestling you open our eyes to see ourselves as you see us. Thus, may we come boldly to you in prayer. Amen. Silent Prayers LP

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