Between Us Girls

Excerpt from BETWEEN US GIRLS - 1

Excerpt from BETWEEN US GIRLS by Alton Miller

Almost the present, but not quite

A comfortable living room in a house on the campus of a small Midwestern college, built back when houses had oversize rooms, hardwood floors, high ceilings and long windows. Upstage a long bookcase, and a double-door closet near the outside entrance, up left. Up right, next to the slightly arched opening leading to the kitchen, a second door leading to the basement. DS left, an antique oak chest converted into a combination computer table and, on the other side of a divider, a compact bar, with bottles, an ice bucket and a box of cigars. A nondescript rug covers most of the floor.

SCENE ONE

(As the lights come up, DON is seated in his leather armchair, with a sofa nearby, and a standing lamp between them. He's about forty years old, just a little gray at the temples, hair, wearing jeans, a white shirt and a cardigan. He's trying to read the New York Review of Books. ELLIE, in her mid-twenties, standing across the room, is wearing a skirt and sweater.)

ELLIE I don't know about the carpet thing. What do you think?

DON Carpet thing?

ELLIE Don, the carpet idea.

DON Carpet.

ELLIE Should we do the floors to showcase a carpet, or do we go with bold, bright, brash, blindingly bare hardwood floors? Excerpt from BETWEEN US GIRLS - 2

DON Do the floors? (he's deliberately making this hard for her). Does that mean I'm going to have to move?

ELLIE Dummy. What do you think about bookcases all the way up? You know, up to the ceiling, library ladder, that kind of thing.

DON (He's back in his newspaper) You know I like bookcases.

ELLIE It will feel heavy and old.

DON Heavy and old is nice.

ELLIE The carpet thing works either way. Airy and modern or heavy and old. (pause) I kind of go for heavy and old. (Testing him) I was thinking of getting rid of that old thing you're sitting on and putting in a couple of bean-bag chairs with lava lamps. What'd'ya think Don?

DON Sounds like a plan.

ELLIE And a boar's head over the doorway since we don't have a fireplace in this room.

DON Hmm - mm.

ELLIE That's what I thought. (Sits on the couch) I could paint the whole place pink and you'd go along with it, wouldn't you?

DON You know I trust your taste.

ELLIE But I don't want to do it the way I want it. The whole point is to come up with something the family wants.

DON Excerpt from BETWEEN US GIRLS - 3

Hmm - mm

ELLIE (Pulls his paper down) Don, pay attention.

DON You have my complete attention.

ELLIE I've just about got Tricia's room figured out --

DON Tricia's room?

ELLIE You know --

DON Tricia's room.

ELLIE And I have some ideas from Tricia about this room. (Kidding) The boar's head, for example.

DON (Nods) You better be careful or I'm going to get attached to the idea of a boar's head. (Back into the paper)

ELLIE But Don, I can't do this by myself. (pause)

DON (puts paper away) No, I know you can't. Sorry.

ELLIE You do care about how it looks, Don, I know you do.

DON Pink would start to get to me.

ELLIE You only pretend to be an absent minded professor. You pay a lot more attention to things going on around you, I know you do. DON You're wise beyond your years. Excerpt from BETWEEN US GIRLS - 4

(This excerpt of a full-length, based on a story from Cervantes, now skips the rest of the scene between DON and ELLIE, whom the audience assume to be married; TRICIA sounds like she might be the daughter, but she's actually DON's wife, and an intimately close friend of ELLIE, who is an interior decorator. We pick up the scene a few minutes later as DON and ELLIE are winding down.)2

DON Well, whenever you get tired of the wrong crowd, you know you always have Tricia and me here at home -- or wherever we happen to be running to that day.

ELLIE Thanks.

DON I mean it.

ELLIE Thank you.

DON So no boar's head, pink is out, and I kind of like the idea of bookshelves to the ceiling.

ELLIE What about the floor?

DON I think you're going to need some kind of carpet. Even without a fireplace, you never know when you're going to find yourself rolling around on the floor, and in my experience a carpet makes all the difference.

(Pounding noise from the basement) That whole Jack thing has been nothing but a pain in the ass. (Don checks his watch) He thinks I'm in class. I've got to go down there. (Exits through upstage door to basement and can be heard descending the stairs)

(Upstage closet door opens and TRICIA bursts out.) Excerpt from BETWEEN US GIRLS - 5

TRICIA You are NOT trying to seduce my husband!

ELLIE Tricia! TRICIA You are not even trying!

ELLIE Tricia, have you been in there -- ?

TRICIA Yes, I've been in there and I saw everything. He held your hand. You were talking about love. You had a dozen chances. And you did nothing! (Sound of Don on the steps)

ELLIE He's coming back up.

TRICIA Damn you!

(TRICIA jumps back into the closet and the door closes as DON enters through stairway door)

DON He's a handful, that one, a real pain in the ass. (looking at watch) Kiddo, I'm going to be late for class. Can I drop you off?

TRICIA No, I'm going to wait for Ellie, if that's okay. (She walks up to him, stands close to him) You aren't going go out without that sexy cologne are you? DON Sorry, I meant to tell you. I know it cost you a fortune, but it gives me a rash. (He makes a light fist and presses it to her chin) Hang in there, kiddo. (She moves to close the slight gap between them but he's oblivious) Tell Tricia I'll call on my way home. Maybe we'll all go out for pizza.

(He exits. ELLIE is nervous, guilty. TRICIA again enters the room from the closet.)

TRICIA You were not even trying!

ELLIE Excerpt from BETWEEN US GIRLS - 6

Tricia, I was.

TRICIA No you weren't. Look at how you're dressed!

ELLIE What do you mean?

TRICIA You know what I mean! You're not even trying to be sexy!

ELLIE Tricia, I don't know how to be sexy.

TRICIA How long has this been going on? Did you even try, ever, even once?

ELLIE Tricia, I tried but --

TRICIA You've been lying to me!

ELLIE No, I -

TRICIA You haven't even tried!

ELLIE I did, I gave him that cologne --

TRICIA -- which I bought for you and TOLD you to rub on his cheek and you admitted you just handed it to him --

ELLIE It just wasn't my style.

TRICIA It has been three weeks of wasted time! I'm going to find someone else for this --

ELLIE No, Tricia -- Excerpt from BETWEEN US GIRLS - 7

TRICIA Three weeks of leaving you alone together, then listening to your stories about how you put the moves on him. I had to see for myself. You - have - been - TALKING - to - my - husband!

ELLIE I --

TRICIA Talking!

ELLIE Tricia, I have my own ways. I think he gets the point that I'm coming onto him. He's just not interested.

TRICIA You're not making him interested.

ELLIE I think I've made myself pretty clear.

TRICIA This is making yourself clear! (TRICIA pulls open the top buttons of her blouse and is molding her breasts in a way she believes to be sexy) This is making yourself clear! (she shows some leg) This is making yourself clear! (she is pushing the length of her body against ELLIE). But you've been talking philosophy!

(The basement door opens and JACK pokes his head out. TRICIA's sexy behavior catches his attention.)

I should have asked Marsha. Say sex and she's there!

(JACK is wearing cut-off jeans, a T-shirt, and a wireless headset. His most conspicuous item of apparel is an ankle bracelet above his right foot, all the more conspicuous for the duct tape that fastens a long phone cord, which leads from his right foot to his hand where he holds it to maintain the slack, as he walks into the apartment.)

JACK Who's Marsha?

TRICIA Jack, you are not supposed to be up here. Excerpt from BETWEEN US GIRLS - 8

JACK It's okay. (indicates the phone cord) The Feds think I'm down there.

TRICIA You could get Don in serious trouble. He's responsible for you.

JACK And don't think I'm not grateful. (As he approaches the oak chest, the cord's slack disappears and he can just reach the bar. He pours himself a drink, helps himself to a cigar, turns and selects a book from the bookcase, and disappears back through the basement door. Pokes his head back out) Marsha Howard? (exits)

TRICIA What a pain in the ass! I am under so much pressure!

ELLIE Tricia, you have everything a wife could want -- (Considers, then with a nod to the basement door, ironically) -- and more.

TRICIA (Shaking her head) I asked you to do one thing for me --

ELLIE I tried --

TRICIA -- and you didn't even try. No, I mean it. I'm going to use Marsha.

ELLIE That tramp! Don would never mess around with a grad student.

TRICIA Well, we don't know, do we? That's just the point.

End of except