Johnny Suede Scene

JOHNNY SUEDE

DEKE Okay…For moving in. Against moving in. Now I will suggest that you start with the reasons for moving in because those are the hardest. Okay, let me have a couple.

JOHNNY Okay… she’s got a color TV.

DEKE There you go. Color TV. Alright. Next.

JOHNNY Oh, she’s got an extra room. She says I can play my guitar in, kinda like my own private room.

DEKE Hmm. That’s nice. That’s nice. Private room. Oh yeah. Next

JOHNNY She’s always got things lying around to eat, you know like nuts and crackers and shit.

DEKE Hey man, you could eat while you watch TV. You know what I am saying.

JOHNNY Oh, yeah.

DEKE So, we will call that snacks, okay? Anything else?

JOHNNY Nope, nope!

DEKE Let’s proceed to the reasons against. 2

JOHNNY If I moved in with her, I will be locked up with her 24 hours a day Ya know, go to bed, there she is. Wake up, there she is again.

DEKE So what, you saying, you feel like…

JOHNNY I feel like I was in prison.

DEKE Okay, prison similarities.

JOHNNY Good, uhh.

DEKE Next.

JOHNNY Well, I couldn’t do any of the things that guy does. Ya know? I mean, say I wanted to walk around in my underwear. No. Say I had to make a fart. I, I probably had to go into my private room to just make a fart.

DEKE Yeah, you probably would, man. You know, okay. Things, things a guy does. Okay, next.

JOHNNY She threw a shoe at me once.

DEKE Aw, that’s bad. That’s very bad. Shoe throwing tendencies. 3

JOHNNY Okay. How many is that?

DEKE Uh, it’s tied up. Three to three.

JOHNNY Okay, let’s face it. She is probably the exact opposite type of girl I would normally date. Ya know, she’s got a weird job, she dresses funny. She can’t even put on make up, man.

DEKE Opposite types.

JOHNNY That’s us.

DEKE Well, there it is, pal. Three reasons for. Four reasons against.

JOHNNY I guess that’s it.

DEKE Hey, numbers don’t lie.

JOHNNY And hey, just because I don’t move in with her, doesn’t mean I can’t still see her, right?

DEKE Hey, hell no man.

JOHNNY I mean, because I do like the girl. Yeah. Sometimes, ya know when I am just…sitting around, she starts rubbing my ear real soft. I like that.

DEKE 4

JOHNNY Wuh, that’s not a reason 4, man

DEKE I don’t know man. The way you described it makes me want to meet a girl like that. It’s tied up again, Johnny.

JOHNNY I know, I know. Just shhh…I gotta think…uh…Okay. See that? Color TV? Never watch it. Um um

DEKE Are you sure?

JOHNNY Positive… Now, I just gotta find a way to break it to her.