Creating Your Child S Lifebook

Creating Your Child’s Lifebook

Overview: An important role for a permanency parent is to be the historian and record keeper for their child. With most permanency plans, children are cut off in part or fully from their birth parents and other important past relationships. They may no longer have easy access to information regarding their origins and roots as well as the chronology of their life. Having accurate information about their history is critical to a child’s understanding of who they are, why events happened and what is important to them. Permanency parents can use the Lifebook as a mechanism to record the child’s history and original family heritage. If a child does not come to the permanency home with a Lifebook, it is never too late for the permanency parents to help the child start one. For children who are placed with a Lifebook, the book can be seen as an ongoing project. As children develop, they often need more complex answers to historical event questions. More details can be added to the child’s story as their understanding of information and its meaning evolves. In the context of a child’s developmental level, having information about the why of moves - from the family of origin and other families - is critical to a child making peace with himself/herself. Exploring our past is often an emotion-laden process. A significant opportunity for attachment presents itself when a child walks through this experience with permanency parents who honor the importance and uniqueness of every child’s origins. Through Lifebook work, permanency parents can help their child begin to heal old wounds from unresolved losses and positively enhance their child’s feelings about loving more than one family. In general, permanency parents have easier access to important information about their child’s history before the permanency is finalized. The Lifebook process can uncover new questions and a need for further research as the child tries to make sense of his past. Information can be preserved through narratives, letters, captioned photographs, documents, drawings and memorabilia. Oral and video recordings can also be made.

Sources of Lifebook Information:

 Birth parents and other relatives  Day care providers  Neighbors of the child and/or  Previous foster or kinship parents church pastors and friends and relatives  Hospital, doctor and clinic  Anyone the child deems as records important to him/her  Social Service caseworkers,  Court records homemakers and advocates  Therapist and evaluations  School records, teachers and coaches or scout and activity leaders

ACHIEVING PERMANENCY

Central California Training Academy Handout 13 Subjects to include in the Lifebook:  Prenatal and birth history and documents and picture of the hospital. Birth records include important medical data, significant child and family health issues and patterns, as well as infant footprints and sometimes and newborn picture.  Original family constellation in pictures, narrative history, letters and memorabilia that include family history of migration, religion, family customs, beliefs and values. A family genogram serves as a pictorial overview of how the family developed over time. Information noted in the genogram can be expanded on in the Lifebook.  Summary and retracing with the child of his/her history since birth. It is critical that the child come to an understanding of why birth parents and others could not raise him. This would include information on all the places he/she lived and why the moves happened to help clarify areas where blame has been mistakenly placed. Written recordings of the child’s memories and feelings gives personal significance to the Lifebook information.  Pictures of previous families where the child lived and holiday and travel pictures with the child. Include stories from the families about funny stories of the child. Document situations where the child had expressed fear and extreme anxiety. List names of the family pets and favorite friends. Get letters, if possible, from former caretakers about their time with the child.  Pictures of teachers, classmates and the school.  Pictures of the other “helping” individuals in the child’s life, including caseworkers, therapists and advocates.  Pictures or drawings of favorite things to do.  The child’s drawings and writings.  Sentimental objects, pictures and stories that conjure up happy memories.  Stories and pictures about the pre-placements visitation period as well as pictures of the final permanency hearing. Note: Every child’s history and feelings about the past are unique. The list of contents for the Lifebook is only a suggestion. Each Lifebook will include what the child and family deem as important. Parents who take the time to develop a Lifebook with a child can reap the rewards of greater closeness to and understanding of their special child. Wrapped in the comfort and support of permanency parents, children can grow in acceptance of their past and of themselves.

Developed by Enita Kearns-Hout for The Adoption Exchange - March, 2000

ACHIEVING PERMANENCY HandoutPage 17 13 Central California Training Academy Research Approaches to Building a Lifebook

o Study available material in the case record and in the documentation of other providers/agencies. o Call, interview, or write to individuals who know or have known the child (including foster parents, relatives, scout leaders, coaches, and teachers). o Ask those who know the child for written personal statements and pictures. o Request photos (including birth pictures, family photos, school photos). o Gather written information by or about the child (including school work, certificates, medical records). o Search among data for persons of significance (who was important to the child?). o Establish a graphic lifeline (where the child lived and significant events in the child’s life). o Seek information related to the child’s culture (may include specific family cultural information or general information related to the child’s culture). o Take pictures of the child and family members from the onset of the case (in addition to pictures of injuries). o Ask the family about their cultural background, religion, family beliefs, and values. o Ask about family stories and history. o Send the child cards and letters, which may become part of a lifebook. o Use a “fill in the blanks” format with children (for example, my favorite food is ). o Have children draw pictures where photos are nonexistent or have them cut baby pictures from magazines to represent themselves. o Take pictures of the homes where a child has lived and of the people and pets a child has lived with.

ACHIEVING PERMANENCY Handout 13 Central California Training Academy