Clarity of Meaning and Tone

Clarity of meaning and tone.

Have your students revise the following paragraph, which is to be sent to a public official, for both clarity and tone.

As a citizen who takes my responsibilities serious, I am besides myself about last month’s local election. Voting was definitely a drag. Just some of the problems I encountered were not enough parking outside the voting center, not very organized workers running the show, and a weird-looking ballot that I didn’t know how to fill out. The affect of these conditions could discourage other people from voting. I don’t mean to cast aspersions against the public officials in the district, but before I vote again, I hope you’ll look onto this matter and get your act together.

From Frazer, Cynthia. The Beacon Workbook. Boston: Houghton Mifflin Co, 1990.