Team Building for Anarchists
INT. CHURCH BASEMENT. DAY.
SARAH is leading a group of people, all in a circle, in a trust fall. There is a sign that says “Team Building for Anarchists” beside them.
SARAH
So, we’re going to do a trust fall, so If I can have a volunteer to go first… Ok, good, go ahead and get in the center of the circle. Now, in a moment you are going to close your eyes and fall in a direction, any direction really, ok? Go.
Police siren goes off outside, distracting the anarchists. ANARCHIST BOY in the center falls and hits the ground, and is whining in pain
ANARCHIST BOY
Ow.
SARAH
Great, so, this is an important lesson. It’s really important to retain your autonomy. You have to be autonomous, and learn how to support yourself, because the system is not going to hold you up. Now theoretically, if we all fall at the same time, we should hold each other up, so let’s give that a try, ok? Ready?
The whole group falls in different directions and lands in a giant pile
Well, alright.
INT. THEATRE. NIGHT.
AMY is on stage, her back turned, with two other people, with a screen in the backdrop saying June, 1979. They are wearing white leotards and pouring some sort of black liquid over their heads chanting “Ixtoc”-like the ticking of a clock.
PERFORMER 1
June 1979, the Ixtoc 1 oil well blows in the Gulf of Mexico. It would only be a matter of time until the human race drowned in oil.
Amy turns around to reveal she is wearing a clown nose.
AMY I’m sorry, stop. Sorry… I know it’s really inappropriate to give another performer notes, but I feel like this art piece is my brain child and I put the $300 down for the theater, so whatever, uhm. I don’t believe you at all.
PERFORMER 1
Ok? How can I make it better?
AMY
I don’t know. Grow a heart? You can’t just put on the costume, and say the words, and do the act, and expect people to believe you actually give a damn about what was happening to the world in June of 1979. You have to actually believe it, and feel it, or you’re basically just another fraud. A lot happened in June of 1979. The oil spill, the nine days that changed the world, and I just feel like you don’t care about any of those things. And you know what, that hurts me personally. GAH, I just feel like I’m surrounded by charlatans.
Amy walks off stage.
OPENING CREDITS
INT. APARTMENT. DAY.
Amy enters through apartment door, Sarah is lying on the couch.
AMY
What are you doing? We have to go to that thing I said we’d go to with that guy I met that one time.
SARAH
Oh yeah, I forgot that was today.
AMY
Come on, you have to dress me. Now, should I wear Mark Jacobs? Or Alexander McQueen?
SARAH
Eh, McQueen is so over. Like six feet under over.
AMY Yeah, you’re right…And I feel like this Mark Jacobs really speaks to the June 1979 aesthetic that has really been resonating with me lately.
Amy changes and primps.
SARAH
Come on, we have to go to that thing you said we’d go to with that guy you met that one time.
AMY
Done. Ok. Go.
EXT. ROOFTOP. DAY.
A couple of clips showcasing the hipster nature of the party. Amy and BEN are talking. And Rich and Sarah are talking, going in and out of their conversations
BEN
So what do you do, then?
AMY
Well, I’m a performance artist. I’m working on a piece right now titled “June, 1979,” something about that era really resonates with me, it’s really amazing how many parallels there are between June of 1979 and our modern world…
BEN
So you can make a living doing that? Performance art?
AMY
Well, performance art is how I live, so yeah, yeah that’s how I make my living.
BEN
That’s so cool, so few people can really make a living out of their art.
AMY
I guess art is just in my blood, I mean my mom is a documentary film maker, and my Dad is some fashion photographer in New York…
BEN Your mom makes films?! I make films! What’s her name.
AMY
Jean Rothenbaur.
BEN
Jean Rothenbaur is your MOM?! I LOVE her! I read this editorial about her in Film Journal…Man, she looks really good for her age…Is it true that her and her husband have an open marriage?
AMY
Her husband, my dad?
BEN
Yeah, I was reading they had this open marriage, because she said they were both such sexual animals whose carnal desires couldn’t be satisfied any other way…Or she put it better, in the editorial…What was that like, growing up, knowing that was going on…
AMY
Well, they are never really in the same place, and they weren’t really home much…
BEN
And there was this whole thing about how the two of them were into some freaky shit too, Jean said it creatively and spiritually inspired her… like weird shit like Japanese bondage….anal beads….
AMY
Yeah I’m going to stop paying attention to you now.
RICH and Sarah are talking
SARAH
So well, I guess, I mean, my Dad is a chief executive for Exxicon Oil, and he’s responsible for the mass choking of baby seals, and creating these septic pools of polluted water pouring into the drinking water of lower income school children, and that’s just why I feel it’s my job to make right in the world. RICH
That’s really cool you think about things on a global scale like that, and you know, sometimes it’s just about baby steps too- like for example I teach English to these highschoolers on the southside, and they come from such an impoverished area but these kids are so bright and just need someone…
SARAH
Yeah- it’s great that you recognize that I’m doing work on a Global scale, because I’ve been running these team building for anarchists seminars, and I really feel like my disciples are going to do the kind of work responsible for global change.
RICH
Yeah, I’ve always believed you should focus on the area that you’re in, and like you do with your anarchists, if I can just make one child realize that a better life is possible.
SARAH
Yeah- with team building for anarchists we’ve just been working on these human knots, where I have all my anarchists hold hands and tie themselves in a knot, representing the knot that capitalism has entangled us in, and we always get out of it.
RICH
Ok….
AMY and SARAH
I’m just doing really important work
INT. STORE. DAY.
Amy is at a register buying ridiculous props for her performance art piece
CLERK
It looks like you have quite the project going on.
AMY
Oh yeah, I’m doing a performance art piece revolving around themes and ideals of June, 1979, and for the nine days that changed the world, when the pope visited communist Poland for the first time, I thought we’d wrap the entire theatre in different shades of red fabric and then I’d hang from the ceiling with rafia and a ping pong ball in my mouth.
CLERK
Ok….
AMY
I know, I thought about that too, it’s a little “hammer over the head,” but I just thought that visual was essential for getting my point across.
CLERK
Ok well Mam, do you have another form of payment? This card is declined?
AMY
What?!
EXT. STREET. DAY.
Amy dials her phone to call her mother
AMY
Mom? So I just tried to buy some props for June, 1979, and my card was declined. Then I called the bank and they told me my account was closed? What’s going on?
CUT TO
EXT. WILDERNESS. DAY
MOM
Oh yeah, sweetheart, Your father and I decided it was best for your personal development as an adult and an artist if you learned how to survive on your own, so we closed the account.
AMY
Best for me as an adult and an artist? Mom, I just put $300.oo down to secure a space for my show, if no one comes to that, I won’t have any money. I’ll have negative dollars. How is that best for me? MOM
Well, sweetie, when I was your age I was in Australia on the film crew for Genocide interviewing concentration camp survivors, and I didn’t have any support from my parents.
AMY
I’m doing important work here.
MOM
Baby, you’re 27, you’re an adult. It’s really time for you to take care of yourself. I feel like I’ve hurt you by holding your hand this long. Look, babe, I have to go, the grizzly bears are confused by my use of technology, and reception is terrible here in Alaska.
AMY
Mom, no!
MOM
Can’t hear you….
AMY
Mom? UGH.
Amy dials her phone again
AMY
DAD?
CUT TO
INT. STUDIO. DAY.
DAD is balancing cell phone while taking photos of a model
DAD
Hey punk’in, I’m working right now…
AMY
I have no money, why did you cut me out of your account. DAD
Oh, yeah…you’re gorgeous…
AMY
Well, I know I could be capitalizing off my looks and sexuality, but right now is a terrible time
DAD
Oh no, babe, you’re not gorgeous, I told you, I’m working. You’re mother and I thought it would be best if we cut your off of our account.
AMY
Best? Best for who?
DAD
Don’t look at this is such a bad thing, it could be really good for you artistically. You know, Beck was homeless before he had his big break.
AMY
I don’t want to be Beck, I want to be Amy, the artist, your daughter, that you love and support, and I can’t be that if I don’t have any money! I’m doing good work here.
DAD
You say that, punk’in, but if you really were, wouldn’t something have come of it by now? Maybe you’re not really an artist, maybe you should start setting your sights to a more practical career path…
AMY
I hate you!
DAD
I love you too, punk’in, I gotta go, ok? I’m working.
Amy closes her cell phone and starts to cry.
CUT TO
INT. CHURCH BASEMENT. DAY. Sarah is giving another “Team building for Anarchists” seminar
SARAH
So this net represents capitalism. Now you all have to make it through the net. Now, I we do have some props here, that I encourage the use of. This bike, for example, is also a pipe bomb…
Sarah pulls out a bike that is actually a pipe bomb
Now I’m not saying suicide is the best weapon against capitalism, but it’s important to know your options.
Amy comes in, in the midst of this speech, obviously very distraught. Sarah walks towards her
I’m sorry, you’ll have to excuse me a minute. Roy? Roy, go next store to the starbucks and get me two black coffees.
ROY
Starbucks? Weren’t you just talking about capitalism and all it’s evils?
SARAH
Don’t argue with me, just do it. Hey? What’s up?
ROY
Cream and sugar?
AMY
I’m a vegan!
SARAH
Just two tall black coffees…can you handle that?
ROY
Yes mam.
Roy exits.
SARAH
What’s going on?
AMY My parents cut me off. I’m going to throw up.
SARAH
What?
AMY
My parents…they closed my bank account. They said I’m too old…I’m really going to throw up, like right now.
SARAH
HEY SOMEONE! Get me a garbage can
An anarchist brings over a garbage can.
Here. You just puke- cry it out.
Amy leans over the garbage can, puke-crying while talking
AMY
I have no job. I have no money. I have no idea what to do. Do you have string cheese?
SARAH
Amy, you’re vegan.
AMY
I know, but I’m upset, it doesn’t count. I just want string cheese.
SARAH
We don’t have any string cheese.
AMY
UGH OH MY GOD MY LIFE IS OVER!
SARAH
Hey, hey, hey, we’ll figure something out. We always do. Maybe my dad’ll be ok paying both our rents this month until you find a job, or something…you’re ok…
Roy returns. AMY
A job? I’ve never had a job! I have no real life skills, I’m worthless to society!
ROY
Hey, I’m sorry to bother you guys, but Sarah, do you have cash? The Starbucks said your card was declined.
SARAH
What?
Sarah and Amy share a meaningful look
CUT TO
INT. APARTMENT. DAY.
Sarah screaming at her father on the phone. Amy is sitting in the kitchen mope-ily doing some craft.
SARAH
Dad, I can’t believe you think the work I’m doing with team building for anarchists is a childish stunt! Well, you know, not all of us want to grow up to be evil oil tycoons like you. You withdrawing your financial support from me, you’re only daughter who actually wants to make this world a better place to live in, just proves how heartless you really are.
Sarah hangs up her phone angrily.
AMY
I can’t believe this is happening to us.
SARAH
We’re probably going to have to move. We can’t afford the 1200 a month here we’ve been splitting.
AMY
I don’t want to move. I painted this whole place myself, and I still have dreams of what it could be. It would be like an artistic miscarriage to leave it now.
SARAH But you love unpacking…
AMY
I do love unpacking. It’s like painting a room with shades of me.
SARAH
Yeah you do….Ok, so, I’m just going to search craigslist to see what we can find
Sarah opens her laptop and searches craigslist
Here’s something. It’s a two bedroom for 600 off the 47th street stop on the red line. We can maybe swing that?
AMY
Ew, no, I don’t want to live down there. That’s a really…black…area.
SARAH
Amy you can’t say things like that.
AMY
It’s not about racism, it’s about safety.
SARAH
Amy…THAT’S racist.
AMY
Whatever, tomatoes tomahtoes, what else is there?
SARAH
There’s a 2 bedroom in on Devon and Kimball for 800…
AMY
Indians, Jews, and Middle Easterns…
SARAH
Ok…is THAT about safety too?
AMY No, I just hate beards.
SARAH
Ok…well here’s something for $950 in Ukie village…Ukranians are white
AMY
I think that Ben guy lives out there
SARAH
So that Ben guy an you seemed to really hit it off at that party.
AMY
Ugh. I hate beards. Plus, he was like really into my mom.
SARAH
Yeah, I know…I think his roommate, that Rich guy, was really into me- which is so unattractive….
AMY
Speaking of, he just texted me now. Hey rich and I are at The Hunger Cafe want to join? Eh do you want to go?
SARAH
Eh no. no
AMY
No, yeah, no
SARAH
Yeah, no, we should go.
AMY
Yeah, we’re not really doing anything.
CUT TO
INT. CAFÉ. DAY.
Ben and Rich are sitting in the café, Amy and Sarah join them over the top forlorn, and whining with their bodies and expressions RICH
What’s up with you two?
SARAH
Our lives are over.
AMY
We are devoid of life…
SARAH
Amy and I are going through some financial difficulties.
AMY
Our parents cut us off…
RICH
Why don’t you guys just get a third roommate?
SARAH
We live in a two bedroom.
RICH
Ben and I share a one bedroom.
AMY
Well we’re both small…It would be better than moving…
RICH
This is not the end of the world, guys, surely you guys have jobs and have some money saved to get you through the next month…
AMY
I’ve never had a job. I don’t know what that means.
RICH
You’ve never had a job?
SARAH Well I’m sorry Mr. “Give into being a slave to the global economy,” but what do you do for a living?
RICH
I told you this at the party, I teach English at Hermitage High School at 5200 S Hermitage, it’s a Chicago public school
SARAH
I’m sorry, I don’t usually listen to guys I talk to at parties…
AMY
5200 S Hermitage? Aren’t you worried about your safety?
SARAH
Amy!
AMY
It’s a legitimate concern!
SARAH
I’m sorry, Amy’s a racist.
AMY
I’m not a racist, I dated a black guy in college.
BEN
So do you ever date non- black guys now?
RICH
Ben!
BEN
What? You know what they say? Once you go black…It’s a legitimate concern!
Big long awkward pause.
RICH
So…I think a third roommate would be a good idea… AMY
I’m not a racist.
WAITRESS enters.
WAITRESS
Alright, what can I get you guys?
SARAH
Are you guys hiring?
WAITRESS
Well, we’re fully staffed right now, in fact a lot of us aren’t even getting the hours we need.
SARAH
Well, I would be like, really good.
WAITRESS
Well, you’re always welcome to fill out an application
SARAH
I mean it took a pretty long time for anyone to come serve us…and I think I could fix that problem.
WAITRESS
Uhm, alright. What do you guys want to order?
SARAH
And, I mean, I watch what you guys do, and it doesn’t look that hard… So, if I showed up tomorrow in an apron, could I just start?
WAITRESS
Coffee? Waters? Anyone want food?
AMY
I’ll have a water.
RICH I would like some coffee, please.
BEN
Can I get a spinach pie?
SARAH
Well, I want a job, but whatever.
WAITRESS
Ok, coffee, water, spinach pie, be right back.
Waitress exits
SARAH
God what crawled up her butt?
AMY
I don’t know, I thought you were being totally reasonable…
RICH
Ok, well, first of all, you guys should find some jobs…Then, I would seriously consider getting a third roommate. It’s got to be better than, what? Pouting and feeling sorry for yourself and hoping a million dollars just spontaneously falls out of the sky?
AMY
That was my plan…is that not a good plan?
RICH
Guys, just grow up…be adults…this is hardly apocalyptical. Anyway, I gotta head out.
SARAH
Why, Rich? The night is young.
RICH
I gotta turn in early, I have to wake up at five and walk five miles tomorrow. SARAH
Ew, why?
RICH
I’m doing a charity walk for Autism speaks.
AMY
Oh, I have a car, I’ll just drive you…
Pause…
RICH
Yeah…I’m out.
INT. APARTMENT. DAY.
Amy and Sarah sit in their kitchen, contemplating the lessons of the day.
SARAH
So, I think Rich is right…
AMY
I don’t think it’s impossible to believe money could fall out of the sky.
SARAH
We should probably get jobs.
AMY
Oh yeah that…Sarah?
SARAH
Yeah?
AMY
How do we do that?
SARAH Well, there is this thing called and “interview,” and so you have to get an “interview,” but once you get that “interview,” you just start working.
AMY
Oh. Ok…Lets go get an interview.
INT. COFFEE HOUSE. DAY.
Sarah sits down at the “interview” for an independent coffee house.
SARAH
Thank you so much for this “interview”
TIFFANY
Yeah sure, whatever. So why o you want to work here?
SARAH
Well…(deep breath).
INT. BANK. DAY.
Amy sitting at interview at Bank
AMY
Special skills? I can do a headstand…. for like…. two minutes.
INT. COFFEE HOUSE. DAY.
SARAH
And then there are these kids in sweatshops, bleeding out of their eyeballs…
INT. BANK. DAY.
AMY
Rhythmic gymnastics, breathing under water…
INT. COFFEE HOUSE. DAY.
Sarah is acting out a passion play between a lighter and a coffee cup.
INT. BANK. DAY. AMY
I’m pretty sure…I can talk to animals.
INT. COFFEE HOUSE. DAY.
SARAH
And that’s how I feel about corporate America.
TIFFANY
Yeah sure, you can work here.
SARAH
Really?
TIFFANY
Yeah, see you Monday.
INT. APARTMENT. DAY.
SARAH
Hey, I got a job! I’m going to be working at the coffee house down the street.
AMY
Eh, the corporate world wasn’t for me, but I think I found a modeling gig on craigslist.
SARAH
Amy, that’s how people get raped and killed.
Sarah exits, CONNIE enters kitchen making a bowl of cereal
AMY
No, this seems legit. Nude model needed for portfolio…besides, it’s about time I capitalize off my sexuality. That’s what my dad thinks anyway, he just went on and on about how beautiful I am and how I’m really cheating myself by not taking advantage of my natural talents…
Amy notices Connie AHHHHHHHH!
Sarah pops back in.
SARAH
Oh, that’s our new roommate Connie, she lives here now
Connie salutes
And don’t do that craigslist ad, it sounds totes sketch.
INT. GAY KID’S HOUSE. DAY.
GAY KID
Thanks so much for helping out with this...The only thing is we have to make sure we get done before my parents get home, because they are super conservative and they don’t know I’m applying to art school. My dad is like…the alderman…So…Oh my god, do you want like…a beer? Or Something? I just want to make sure you are totally comfortable…
INT. BEDROOM. NIGHT.
Amy is cuddling her blankets in bed, comfy as a clam. Sarah walks in after work, and crawls into bed.
AMY
Ew, you smell like milk. My vegan senses are agitated, you probably shouldn’t touch me.
SARAH
It’s my new job, working is hard…
AMY
But it’s good right?
SARAH
I don’t know, I almost quit today. And you really don’t get paid that much. I worked so hard and I still don’t think I’m going to be able to make rent this month.
AMY
Don’t worry about it, I got it covered. That modeling gig really paid off. INT.GAY KID’S HOUSE. DAY.
Amy is nude modeling, while Gay Kid is scribbling away. KID’S MOM and KID’S DAD walk in.
KID’S DAD
What the hell is going on in here?
AMY
He raped me.
KID’S DAD starts pulling out the check book.
KID’S DAD
What do you need?
AMY
$1167.00…none of this gets out
Mom sighs and starts writing out the check.
KID’S DAD
That’s an oddly specific amount
AMY
Well, my roommates and my rent would be 800 together, I just put down 300 to secure a theater, and I live pretty cheaply so, I feel pretty confident $67 could be a realistic stipend for the week.
GAY KID
Mom, Dad, this is ridiculous, nothing happened here, I’m gay…
KID’S MOM and DAD
What?!?!
AMY
Tack on another 500 and I won’t say a word…
KID’S MOM
Again, we’re so sorry about all of this…. Kid’s parents and Gay Kid go to leave, Amy stops Gay Kid.
AMY
Uhm, you still owe me $60 for that two hours….
Kid pulls out a wad of cash.
CUT TO
INT. APARTMENT. DAY.
Amy and Sarah lying in bed.
SARAH
Sweet….Goodnight.
LIGHTS OUT
THE END