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Shakespeare: A Midsummer Night’s Dream

Original Text Modern Text Enter THESEUS, HIPPOLYTA, andTHESEUS and HIPPOLYTA enter with PHILOSTRATE, with others PHILOSTRATE and others. THESEUS THESEUS Now, fair Hippolyta, our nuptial hour Our wedding day is almost here, my Draws on apace. Four happy days bring in beautiful Hippolyta. We’ll be getting Another moon. But oh, methinks how slow married in four days, on the day of the This old moon wanes! She lingers mynew moon. But it seems to me that the 5 desires, days are passing too slowly—the old Like to a stepdame or a dowager moon is taking too long to fade away! Long withering out a young man’s revenue. That old, slow moon is keeping me from getting what I want, just like an old widow makes her stepson wait to get his inheritance. HIPPOLYTA HIPPOLYTA Four days will quickly steep themselves inNo, you’ll see, four days will quickly turn night. into four nights. And since we dream at Four nights will quickly dream away the time. night, time passes quickly then. Finally 10 And then the moon, like to a silver bow the new moon, curved like a silver bow New bent in heaven, shall behold the night in the sky, will look down on our Of our solemnities. wedding celebration. THESEUS THESEUS Go, Philostrate, Go, Philostrate, get the young people of Stir up the Athenian youth to merriments. Athens ready to celebrate and have a Awake the pert and nimble spirit of mirth. good time. Sadness is only appropriate Turn melancholy forth to funerals. for funerals. We don’t want it at our 15 The pale companion is not for our pomp. festivities. Exit PHILOSTRATE PHILOSTRATE exits. Hippolyta, I wooed thee with my sword Hippolyta, I wooed you with violence, And won thy love doing thee injuries. using my sword, and got you to fall in But I will wed thee in another key, love with me by injuring you. But I’ll With pomp, with triumph, and with reveling. marry you under different circumstances—with extravagant festivals, public festivities, and celebration. Enter EGEUS and his daughter HERMIA,EGEUS enters with his daughter and LYSANDER and DEMETRIUS HERMIA, and LYSANDER and DEMETRIUS. EGEUS EGEUS 20 Happy be Theseus, our renownèd duke. Long live Theseus, our famous and respected Act 1, Scene 1, Page 2

Original Text Modern Text THESEUS THESEUS Thanks, good Egeus. What’s the news withThanks, good Egeus. What’s new with

1 thee? you? EGEUS EGEUS Full of vexation come I with complaint I’m here, full of anger, to complain about Against my child, my daughter Hermia.— my daughter Hermia.—Step forward, Stand forth, Demetrius.—My noble lord, Demetrius.—My lord, this man, 25 This man hath my consent to marry her.— Demetrius, has my permission to marry Stand forth, Lysander.—And my graciousher.—Step forward, Lysander.—But this duke, other man, Lysander, has cast a magic This man hath bewitched the bosom of myspell over my child’s heart.—You, you, child.— Lysander, you’ve given her poems, and 30 Thou, thou, Lysander, thou hast given herexchanged tokens of love with my rhymes, daughter. You’ve pretended to be in love And interchanged love tokens with my child. with her, singing fake love songs softly Thou hast by moonlight at her window sung at her window by moonlight, and you’ve With feigning voice verses of feigning love, captured her imagination by giving her 35 And stol'n the impression of her fantasy locks of your hair, rings, toys, trinkets, With bracelets of thy hair, rings, gauds,knickknacks, little presents, flowers, and conceits, candies—things that can really influence Knacks, trifles, nosegays, sweetmeats—an impressionable young person. You’ve messengers connived to steal my daughter’s heart, 40 Of strong prevailment in unhardened youth. making her stubborn and harsh instead With cunning hast thou filched my daughter’sof obedient (like she should be).—And, heart, my gracious duke, if she won’t agree to Turned her obedience (which is due to me) marry Demetrius right now, I ask you to To stubborn harshness.—And, my graciouslet me exercise the right that all fathers 45 duke, have in Athens. Since she belongs to Be it so she will not here before your grace me, I can do what I want with her—as Consent to marry with Demetrius, the law says: I can either make her I beg the ancient privilege of Athens. marry Demetrius—or have her killed. As she is mine, I may dispose of her— Which shall be either to this gentleman Or to her death—according to our law Immediately provided in that case. THESEUS THESEUS What say you, Hermia? Be advised, fairWhat do you have to say for yourself, maid: Hermia? Think carefully, pretty girl. You To you your father should be as a god, should think of your father as a god, One that composed your beauties, yea, andsince he’s the one who gave you your 50 one beauty. To him, you’re like a figure that To whom you are but as a form in wax, he’s sculpted out of wax, and he has the By him imprinted and within his power power to keep that figure intact or to To leave the figure or disfigure it. disfigure it. Demetrius is an admirable Demetrius is a worthy gentleman. man. Act 1, Scene 1, Page 3

Original Text Modern Text HERMIA HERMIA So is Lysander. So is Lysander. THESEUS THESEUS In himself he is. You’re right, Lysander’s admirable too. But in this kind, wanting your father’s voice, But since your father doesn’t want him to 2 55 The other must be held the worthier. marry you, you have to consider Demetrius to be the better man. HERMIA HERMIA I would my father looked but with my eyes. I wish my father could see them with my eyes. THESEUS THESEUS Rather your eyes must with his judgmentNo, you must see them as your father look. sees them. HERMIA HERMIA I do entreat your grace to pardon me. Your grace, please forgive me. I don’t I know not by what power I am made bold know what makes me think I can say 60 Nor how it may concern my modesty this, and I don’t know if speaking my In such a presence here to plead mymind to such a powerful and noble thoughts, person as yourself will damage my But I beseech your grace that I may know reputation for modesty. But please, tell The worst that may befall me in this case, me the worst thing that could happen to If I refuse to wed Demetrius. me if I refuse to marry Demetrius. THESEUS THESEUS 65 Either to die the death or to abjure You’ll either be executed or you’ll never Forever the society of men. see another man again. So think Therefore, fair Hermia, question yourcarefully about what you want, beautiful desires. Hermia. Consider how young you are, Know of your youth. Examine well your bloodand question your feelings. Then decide 70 — whether you could stand to be a nun, Whether, if you yield not to your father’swearing a priestess’s habit and caged up choice, in a cloister forever, living your entire life You can endure the livery of a nun, without a husband or children, weakly For aye to be in shady cloister mewed, chanting hymns to the cold and virginal 75 To live a barren sister all your life, goddess of the moon. People who can Chanting faint hymns to the cold, fruitlessrestrain their passions and stay virgins moon. forever are holy. But although a virgin Thrice-blessèd they that master so theirpriestess might be rewarded in heaven, blood a married woman is happier on Earth. A To undergo such maiden pilgrimage. married woman is like a rose who is But earthlier happy is the rose distilled picked and made into a beautiful Than that which, withering on the virginperfume, while a priestess just withers thorn, away on the stem. Grows, lives, and dies in single blessedness. Act 1, Scene 1, Page 4

Original Text Modern Text HERMIA HERMIA So will I grow, so live, so die, my lord, I’d rather wither away than give up my 80 Ere I will yield my virgin patent up virginity to someone I don’t love. Unto his lordship, whose unwishèd yoke My soul consents not to give sovereignty. THESEUS THESEUS Take time to pause, and by the next newTake some time to think about this. By moon— the time of the next new moon—the day 85 The sealing day betwixt my love and me when Hippolyta and I will be married— 3 For everlasting bond of fellowship— be ready either to be executed for Upon that day either prepare to die disobeying your father, to marry For disobedience to your father’s will, Demetrius as your father wishes, or to Or else to wed Demetrius, as he would, take a vow to spend the rest of your life 90 Or on Diana’s altar to protest as a virgin priestess of the moon For aye austerity and single life. goddess. DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS Relent, sweet Hermia—And, Lysander, yieldPlease give in, sweet Hermia.—And Thy crazèd title to my certain right. Lysander, stop acting like she’s yours. I’ve got more of a right to her than you do. LYSANDER LYSANDER You have her father’s love, Demetrius. Her father loves you, Demetrius. So Let me have Hermia’s. Do you marry him. why don’t you marry him and let me have Hermia? EGEUS EGEUS 95 Scornful Lysander, true, he hath my love, It’s true, rude Lysander, I do love him. And what is mine my love shall render him. That’s why I’m giving him my daughter. And she is mine, and all my right of her She’s mine, and I’m giving her to I do estate unto Demetrius. Demetrius. LYSANDER LYSANDER (to THESEUS) I am, my lord, as well(to THESEUS) My lord, I’m just as noble 100 derived as he, and rich as he is. I love Hermia more As well possessed. My love is more thanthan he does. My prospects are as good his. as his, if not better. And beautiful My fortunes every way as fairly ranked, Hermia loves me—which is more (If not with vantage) as Demetrius'. important than all those other things I’m 105 And—which is more than all these boastsbragging about. Why shouldn’t I be able can be— to marry her? Demetrius—and I’ll say I am beloved of beauteous Hermia. this to his face—courted Nedar’s Why should not I then prosecute my right? daughter, Helena, and made her fall in Demetrius, I’ll avouch it to his head, love with him. That sweet lady, Helena, 110 Made love to Nedar’s daughter, Helena, loves devoutly. She adores this horrible And won her soul. And she, sweet lady,and unfaithful man. dotes, Devoutly dotes, dotes in idolatry Upon this spotted and inconstant man. Act 1, Scene 1, Page 5

Original Text Modern Text THESEUS THESEUS I must confess that I have heard so much I have to admit I’ve heard something And with Demetrius thought to have spokeabout that, and meant to ask Demetrius thereof, about it, but I was too busy with But being overfull of self-affairs, personal matters and it slipped my 115 My mind did lose it.—But, Demetrius, come. mind.—Anyway, Demetrius and Egeus, And come, Egeus. You shall go with me. both of you, come with me. I want to say I have some private schooling for you both.a few things to you in private.—As for — you, beautiful Hermia, get ready to do For you, fair Hermia, look you arm yourself what your father wants, because

4 120 To fit your fancies to your father’s will, otherwise the law says that you must Or else the law of Athens yields you up die or become a nun, and there’s (Which by no means we may extenuate) nothing I can do about that.—Come with To death, or to a vow of single life.— me, Hippolyta. How are you, my love?— Come, my Hippolyta. What cheer, my love?Demetrius and Egeus, come with us. I 125 — want you to do some things for our Demetrius and Egeus, go along. wedding, and I also want to discuss I must employ you in some business something that concerns you both. Against our nuptial and confer with you Of something nearly that concerns yourselves. EGEUS EGEUS With duty and desire we follow you. We’re following you not only because it is our duty, but also because we want to. Exeunt. Manent LYSANDER and HERMIA They all exit except LYSANDER and HERMIA. LYSANDER LYSANDER How now, my love? Why is your cheek soWhat’s going on, my love? Why are you pale? so pale? Why have your rosy cheeks How chance the roses there do fade sofaded so quickly? fast? HERMIA HERMIA 130 Belike for want of rain, which I could well Probably because my cheeks' roses Beteem them from the tempest of my eyes. needed rain, which I could easily give them with all the tears in my eyes. LYSANDER LYSANDER Ay me! For aught that I could ever read, Oh, honey! Listen, in books they say Could ever hear by tale or history, that true love always faces obstacles. The course of true love never did runEither the lovers have different social 135 smooth. standings— But either it was different in blood— Act 1, Scene 1, Page 6

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HERMIA HERMIA O cross! Too high to be enthralled to low. Oh, what an obstacle that would be! Imagine being too high on the social ladder, and falling in love with someone beneath you. LYSANDER LYSANDER Or else misgraffèd in respect of years— Or else they were very different ages— HERMIA HERMIA O spite! Too old to be engaged to young. How awful! Being too old to marry someone young. LYSANDER LYSANDER Or else it stood upon the choice of friends— Or else their guardians and advisors said no—

5 HERMIA HERMIA 140 O hell, to choose love by another’s eyes! What hell, to have your love life determined by someone else! LYSANDER LYSANDER Or, if there were a sympathy in choice, Or, even if the lovers are a good match, War, death, or sickness did lay siege to it, their love might be ruined by war, death, Making it momentary as a sound, or sickness, so that the affair only lasts Swift as a shadow, short as any dream, an instant. Their time together might be 145 Brief as the lightning in the collied night; as fleeting as a shadow or as short as a That, in a spleen, unfolds both heaven anddream, lasting only as long as it takes a Earth, lightning bolt to flash across the sky. And ere a man hath power to say “Behold!” Before you can say “look,” it’s gone. The jaws of darkness do devour it up. That’s how intense things like love are So quick bright things come to confusion. quickly destroyed. HERMIA HERMIA 150 If then true lovers have been ever crossed, If true lovers are always thwarted, then It stands as an edict in destiny. it must be a rule of fate. So let’s try to Then let us teach our trial patience, be patient as we deal with our problem. Because it is a customary cross, It’s as normal a part of love as dreams, As due to love as thoughts and dreams andsighs, wishes, and tears. 155 sighs, Wishes and tears, poor fancy’s followers. LYSANDER LYSANDER A good persuasion. Therefore, hear me,That’s the right attitude. So, listen, Hermia. Hermia. I have an aunt who is a widow, I have a widow aunt, a dowager who’s very rich and doesn’t have any Of great revenue, and she hath no child. children. She lives about twenty miles 160 From Athens is her house remote sevenfrom Athens, and she thinks of me as a leagues, son. I could marry you there, gentle And she respects me as her only son. Hermia, where the strict laws of Athens There, gentle Hermia, may I marry thee. can’t touch us. So here’s the plan. If you And to that place the sharp Athenian law love me, sneak out of your father’s 165 Cannot pursue us. If thou lovest me then, house tomorrow night and meet me in Steal forth thy father’s house tomorrowthe forest a few miles outside of town. night. And in the wood, a league without the town — Act 1, Scene 1, Page 7

Original Text Modern Text Where I did meet thee once with Helena You remember the place—I met you To do observance to a morn of May— there once with Helena to celebrate There will I stay for thee. May Day.—I’ll wait for you there. HERMIA HERMIA My good Lysander! Oh, Lysander, I swear I’ll be there I swear to thee by Cupid’s strongest bow, tomorrow. I swear by Cupid’s strongest 170 By his best arrow with the golden head, bow and his best gold-tipped arrow, by By the simplicity of Venus' doves, the Goddess of Love’s innocent doves, By that which knitteth souls and prospersby everything that ties lovers together, loves, by the bonfire where Queen Dido

6 And by that fire which burned the Carthageburned herself to death when her lover 175 queen Aeneas jilted her, and by all the When the false Troyan under sail was seen, promises that men have broken (and By all the vows that ever men have broke men have broken more promises than (In number more than ever women spoke), women have ever made). I give you my In that same place thou hast appointed me, word, I will meet you at that spot Tomorrow truly will I meet with thee. tomorrow. LYSANDER LYSANDER Keep promise, love. Look, here comesKeep your promise, my love. Look, here Helena. comes Helena. Enter HELENA HELENA enters. HERMIA HERMIA 180 Godspeed, fair Helena! Whither away? Hello, beautiful Helena! Where are you going? HELENA HELENA Call you me “fair”? That “fair” again unsay. Did you just call me “beautiful”? Take it Demetrius loves your fair. O happy fair! back. You’re the beautiful one as far as Your eyes are lodestars, and your tongue’sDemetrius is concerned. Oh, you’re so sweet air lucky! Your eyes are like stars, and your 185 More tunable than lark to shepherd’s ear voice is more musical than a lark’s song When wheat is green, when hawthorn budsis to a shepherd in the springtime. appear. Sickness is contagious—I wish beauty Sickness is catching. Oh, were favor so, were contagious too! I would catch your Yours would I catch, fair Hermia, ere I go. good looks before I left. My ear would 190 My ear should catch your voice. My eye,be infected by your voice, my eye by your eye. your eye, and my tongue would come My tongue should catch your tongue’sdown with a bad case of your melodious sweet melody. speech. If the world were mine, I’d give Were the world mine, Demetrius beingit all up—everything except Demetrius— bated, to be you. The rest I’d give to be to you translated. Act 1, Scene 1, Page 8

Original Text Modern Text O, teach me how you look and with what art Oh, teach me how you look the way you You sway the motion of Demetrius' heart. do, and which tricks you used to make Demetrius fall in love with you. HERMIA HERMIA I frown upon him, yet he loves me still. I frown at him, but he still loves me. HELENA HELENA 195 Oh, that your frowns would teach my smilesOh, if only my smiles could inspire love such skill! as effectively as your frowns! HERMIA HERMIA I give him curses, yet he gives me love. I curse him, but he loves me. HELENA HELENA Oh, that my prayers could such affectionIf only my prayers could inspire that kind move! of affection! HERMIA HERMIA

7 The more I hate, the more he follows me. The more I hate him, the more he follows me around. HELENA HELENA The more I love, the more he hateth me. The more I love him, the more he hates me. HERMIA HERMIA 200 His folly, Helena, is no fault of mine. It’s not my fault he acts like that, Helena. HELENA HELENA None, but your beauty. Would that faultThat’s true, it’s your beauty’s fault. I were mine! wish I had a fault like that! HERMIA HERMIA Take comfort. He no more shall see myDon’t worry. He won’t see my face ever face. again. Lysander and I are running away Lysander and myself will fly this place. from here. Before I saw Lysander, 205 Before the time I did Lysander see Athens seemed like paradise to me. But Seemed Athens as a paradise to me. Lysander’s so attractive that he’s turned Oh, then, what graces in my love do dwell, heaven into hell! That he hath turned a heaven unto a hell! LYSANDER LYSANDER Helen, to you our minds we will unfold. Helena, we’ll tell you about our secret Tomorrow night when Phoebe doth behold plan. Tomorrow night, when the moon 210 Her silver visage in the watery glass, shines on the water and decorates the Decking with liquid pearl the bladed grass grass with tiny beads of pearly light (the (A time that lovers' flights doth still conceal), time of night that always hides runaway Through Athens' gates have we devised tolovers), we plan to sneak out of Athens. steal. HERMIA HERMIA (to HELENA) And in the wood where often(to HELENA) In the woods where you 215 you and I and I used to lounge around on the pale Upon faint primrose beds were wont to lie, primroses, telling each other sweet Emptying our bosoms of their counselsecrets—that’s where Lysander and I sweet, will meet. Act 1, Scene 1, Page 9

Original Text Modern Text There my Lysander and myself shall meet. From then on we’ll turn our backs on And thence from Athens turn away our eyes Athens. We’ll look for new friends and To seek new friends and strangerkeep the company of strangers. 220 companies. Goodbye, old friend. Pray for us, and I Farewell, sweet playfellow. Pray thou for us. hope you win over Demetrius!—Keep And good luck grant thee thy Demetrius!— your promise, Lysander. We need to Keep word, Lysander. We must starve ourstay away from each other until sight midnight tomorrow. From lovers' food till morrow deep midnight. LYSANDER LYSANDER I will, my Hermia. I will, my Hermia. Exit HERMIA HERMIA exits.

8 Helena, adieu. Goodbye, Helena. I hope Demetrius 225 As you on him, Demetrius dote on you! comes to love you as much as you love him! Exit LYSANDER LYSANDER exits. HELENA HELENA How happy some o'er other some can be! It’s amazing how much happier some Through Athens I am thought as fair as she. people are than others! People But what of that? Demetrius thinks not so. throughout Athens think I’m as beautiful He will not know what all but he do know. as Hermia. But so what? Demetrius 230 And as he errs, doting on Hermia’s eyes, doesn’t think so, and that’s all that So I, admiring of his qualities. matters. He refuses to admit what Things base and vile, holding no quantity, everyone else knows. But even though Love can transpose to form and dignity. he’s making a mistake by obsessing Love looks not with the eyes but with theover Hermia so much, I’m also making a 235 mind. mistake, since I obsess over him. Love And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.can make worthless things beautiful. Nor hath Love’s mind of any judgment tasteWhen we’re in love, we don’t see with — our eyes but with our minds. That’s why Wings and no eyes figure unheedy haste. paintings of Cupid, the god of love, 240 And therefore is Love said to be a child, always show him as blind. And love Because in choice he is so oft beguiled. doesn’t have good judgment either— As waggish boys in game themselvesCupid, has wings and no eyes, so he’s forswear, bound to be reckless and hasty. That’s So the boy Love is perjured everywhere. why they say love is a child. because it For ere Demetrius looked on Hermia’s eyne,makes such bad choices. Just as boys He hailed down oaths that he was onlylike to play games by telling lies, Cupid mine. breaks his promises all the time. Before Demetrius ever saw Hermia, he showered me with promises and swore he’d be mine forever. Act 1, Scene 1, Page 10

Original Text Modern Text And when this hail some heat from HermiaBut when he got all hot and bothered 245 felt, over Hermia, his promises melted away. So he dissolved, and showers of oaths didI’ll go tell Demetrius that Hermia is melt. running away tomorrow night. He’ll run I will go tell him of fair Hermia’s flight. after her. If he’s grateful to me for this Then to the wood will he tomorrow night information, it’ll be worth my pain in 250 Pursue her. And for this intelligence helping him pursue my rival Hermia. At If I have thanks, it is a dear expense. least I’ll get to see him when he goes, But herein mean I to enrich my pain, and then again when he comes back. To have his sight thither and back again. Exit HERMIA exits. Act 1, Scene 2

Original Text Modern Text Enter QUINCE the carpenter, and SNUG theQUINCE, the carpenter, enters with joiner, and BOTTOM the weaver, and FLUTESNUG, the cabinetmaker; BOTTOM, the

9 the bellows-mender, and SNOUT the tinker,weaver; FLUTE, the bellows-repairman; and STARVELING the tailor SNOUT, the handyman; and STARVELING, the tailor. QUINCE QUINCE Is all our company here? Is everyone here? BOTTOM BOTTOM You were best to call them generally, man byYou should call their names generally, man, according to the scrip. one person at a time, in the order in which their names appear on this piece of paper. QUINCE QUINCE Here is the scroll of every man’s name whichThis is a list of the names of all the men is thought fit, through all Athens, to play in ourin Athens who are good enough to act in interlude before the duke and the duchess,the play we’re going to perform for the on his wedding day at night. duke and duchess on their wedding night. BOTTOM BOTTOM First, good Peter Quince, say what the playFirst, Peter Quince, tell us what the play treats on, then read the names of the actors,is about, then read the names of the and so grow to a point. actors, and then shut up. QUINCE QUINCE 5 Marry, our play is The most lamentableAll right. Our play is called A Very Tragic comedy and most cruel death of PyramusComedy About the Horrible Deaths of and Thisbe. Pyramus and Thisbe. BOTTOM BOTTOM A very good piece of work, I assure you, andLet me tell you, it’s a great piece of work, a merry.—Now, good Peter Quince, call forthand very—funny.—Now, Peter Quince, your actors by the scroll.—Masters, spreadcall the names of the actors on the list. yourselves. Men, gather around him. QUINCE QUINCE Answer as I call you.—Nick Bottom, theAnswer when I call your name.—Nick weaver? Bottom, the weaver? BOTTOM BOTTOM Ready. Name what part I am for and proceed.Here. Tell me which part I’m going to play, then go on. QUINCE QUINCE You, Nick Bottom, are set down for Pyramus. You, Nick Bottom, have been cast as Pyramus. Act 1, Scene 2, Page 2

Original Text Modern Text BOTTOM BOTTOM 10 What is Pyramus? A lover or a tyrant? What’s Pyramus? A lover or a tyrant? QUINCE QUINCE A lover that kills himself, most gallant, forA lover who kills himself very nobly for love. love. BOTTOM BOTTOM

10 That will ask some tears in the trueI’ll have to cry to make my performance performing of it. If I do it, let the audiencebelievable. And as soon as I start crying, look to their eyes. I will move storms. I willoh boy, the audience had better watch condole in some measure.—To the rest.—out, because they’ll start crying too. I’ll Yet my chief humor is for a tyrant. I couldmake tears pour out of their eyes like play Ercles rarely, or a part to tear a cat in torainstorms. I’ll moan very believably.— make all split. Name the other actors.—But I’m really in The raging rocks the mood to play a tyrant. I could do a And shivering shocks great job with Hercules, or any other part Shall break the locks that requires ranting and raving. I would Of prison gates. rant and rave really well. Like this, listen. And Phoebus' car The raging rocks Shall shine from far nd shivering shocks And make and mar Will break the locks The foolish Fates. Of prison gates. This was lofty!—Now name the rest of the And the sun-god’s car players.—This is Ercles' vein, a tyrant’s vein. Will shine from far A lover is more condoling. Away, and make and mar Foolish fate. Oh, that was truly inspired!—Now tell us who the other actors are.—By the way, my performance just now was in the style of Hercules, the tyrant style. A lover would have to be weepier, of course. QUINCE QUINCE Francis Flute, the bellows-mender? Francis Flute, the bellows-repairman? FLUTE FLUTE 15 Here, Peter Quince. Here, Peter Quince. QUINCE QUINCE Flute, you must take Thisbe on you. Flute, you’ll be playing the role of Thisbe. Act 1, Scene 2, Page 3

Original Text Modern Text FLUTE FLUTE What is Thisbe? A wandering knight? Who’s Thisbe? A knight on a quest? QUINCE QUINCE It is the lady that Pyramus must love. Thisbe is the lady Pyramus is in love with. FLUTE FLUTE Nay, faith, let me not play a woman. I have aNo, come on, don’t make me play a beard coming. woman. I’m growing a beard. QUINCE QUINCE 20 That’s all one. You shall play it in a mask,That doesn’t matter. You’ll wear a mask, and you may speak as small as you will. and you can make your voice as high as you want to. BOTTOM BOTTOM An I may hide my face, let me play ThisbeIn that case, if I can wear a mask, let me too! I’ll speak in a monstrous little voice:play Thisbe too! I’ll be Pyramus first: 11 “Thisne, Thisne!”—“Ah, Pyramus, my lover“Thisne, Thisne!”—And then in falsetto: dear, thy Thisbe dear and lady dear!” “Ah, Pyramus, my dear lover! I’m your dear Thisbe, your dear lady!” QUINCE QUINCE No, no. You must play Pyramus.—And Flute,No, no. Bottom, you’re Pyramus.—And you Thisbe. Flute, you’re Thisbe. BOTTOM BOTTOM Well, proceed. All right. Go on. QUINCE QUINCE Robin Starveling, the tailor? Robin Starveling, the tailor? STARVELING STARVELING 25 Here, Peter Quince. Here, Peter Quince. QUINCE QUINCE Robin Starveling, you must play Thisbe’sRobin Starveling, you’re going to play mother.—Tom Snout, the tinker? Thisbe’s mother.—Tom Snout, the handyman. SNOUT SNOUT Here, Peter Quince. Here, Peter Quince. QUINCE QUINCE You, Pyramus' father.—Myself, Thisbe’sYou’ll be Pyramus’s father—I’ll play father.—Snug the joiner, you, the lion’s part.Thisbe’s father myself—Snug, the —And I hope here is a play fitted. cabinetmaker, you’ll play the part of the lion.—So that’s everyone. I hope this play is well cast now. Act 1, Scene 2, Page 4

Original Text Modern Text SNUG SNUG Have you the lion’s part written? Pray you, ifDo you have the lion’s part written it be, give it me, for I am slow of study. down? If you do, please give it to me, because I need to start learning the lines. It takes me a long time to learn things. QUINCE QUINCE 30 You may do it extempore, for it is nothing butYou can improvise the whole thing. It’s roaring. just roaring. BOTTOM BOTTOM Let me play the lion too. I will roar, that I willLet me play the lion too. I’ll roar so well do any man’s heart good to hear me. I willthat it’ll be an inspiration to anyone who roar, that I will make the duke say, “Let himhears me. I’ll roar so well that the duke roar again. Let him roar again.” will say, “Let him roar again. Let him roar again.” QUINCE QUINCE An you should do it too terribly, you wouldIf you roar too ferociously, you’ll scare fright the duchess and the ladies, that theythe duchess and the other ladies and would shriek. And that were enough to hangmake them scream. And that would get us all. us all executed.

12 ALL ALL That would hang us, every mother’s son. Yeah, that would get every single one of us executed. BOTTOM BOTTOM I grant you, friends, if you should fright theWell, my friends, you’ve got to admit that ladies out of their wits, they would have noif you scare the living daylights out of the more discretion but to hang us. But I willladies, they’d have no choice but to aggravate my voice so that I will roar you asexecute us. But I’ll soften my voice—you gently as any sucking dove. I will roar you anknow, aggravate it, so to speak—so that ’twere any nightingale. I’ll roar as gently as a baby dove. I’ll roar like a sweet, peaceful nightingale. QUINCE QUINCE 35 You can play no part but Pyramus. ForYou can’t play any part except Pyramus. Pyramus is a sweet-faced man, a properBecause Pyramus is a good-looking man as one shall see in a summer’s day, aman, the most handsome man that you most lovely, gentlemanlike man. Thereforecould find on a summer’s day, a lovely you must needs play Pyramus. gentlemanly man. So you’re the only one who could play Pyramus. BOTTOM BOTTOM Well, I will undertake it. What beard were IWell then, I’ll do it. What kind of beard best to play it in? should I wear for the part? QUINCE QUINCE Why, what you will. Whatever kind you want, I guess. Act 1, Scene 2, Page 5

Original Text Modern Text BOTTOM BOTTOM I will discharge it in either your straw-colorI’ll play the part wearing either a straw- beard, your orange-tawny beard, yourcolored beard, or a sandy beard, or a purple-in-grain beard, or your French crown-red beard, or one of those bright yellow color beard, your perfect yellow. beards that’s the color of a French coin. QUINCE QUINCE Some of your French crowns have no hair atSome French people don’t have beards all, and then you will play barefaced.—Butat all, because syphilis has made all masters, here are your parts. And I am totheir hair fall out, so you might have to entreat you, request you, and desire you toplay the part clean-shaven.—But con them by tomorrow night and meet me ingentlemen, here are your scripts, and I the palace wood, a mile without the town, bybeg you to please learn them by moonlight. There will we rehearse, for if wetomorrow night. Meet me in the duke’s meet in the city we shall be dogged withforest a mile outside of town. It’s best to company, and our devices known. In therehearse there, because if we do it here meantime I will draw a bill of properties suchin the city, we’ll be bothered by crowds as our play wants. I pray you, fail me not. of people and everyone will know the plot of our play. Meanwhile, I’ll make a list of props that we’ll need for the play. Now make sure you show up, all of you. Don’t leave me in the lurch. BOTTOM BOTTOM 40 We will meet, and there we may rehearseWe’ll be there, and there we’ll rehearse

13 most obscenely and courageously. Takecourageously and wonderfully, truly pains. Be perfect. Adieu. obscenely. Work hard, know your lines. Goodbye. QUINCE QUINCE At the duke’s oak we meet. We’ll meet at the giant oak tree in the duke’s forest. BOTTOM BOTTOM Enough. Hold, or cut bowstrings. Got it? Be there, or don’t show your face again. Exeunt They all exit. Act 2, Scene 1

Original Text Modern Text Enter a FAIRY at one side and ROBINA FAIRY and ROBIN GOODFELLOW (ROBIN GOODFELLOW) at another (a “puck” or mischievous spirit) meet onstage. ROBIN ROBIN How now, spirit? Whither wander you? Hello, spirit! Where are you going? FAIRY FAIRY Over hill, over dale, I go over hills and valleys, through Thorough bush, thorough brier, bushes and thorns, over parks and Over park, over pale, fenced-in spaces, through water and fire. Thorough flood, thorough fire. I wander everywhere faster than the I do wander everywhere moon revolves around the Earth. I work Swifter than the moon’s sphere. for Titania, the Fairy Queen, and And I serve the fairy queen organize fairy dances for her in the To dew her orbs upon the green. grass. The cowslip flowers are her The cowslips tall her pensioners be. bodyguards. You’ll see that their petals In their gold coats spots you see. have spots on them—those are rubies, Those be rubies, fairy favors. fairy gifts. Their sweet smells come from In those freckles live their savors. those little freckles. Now I have to go I must go seek some dewdrops here find some dewdrops and hang a pearl And hang a pearl in every cowslip’s ear. earring on every cowslip flower. Farewell, thou lob of spirits. I’ll be gone. Goodbye, you dumb old spirit. I’ve got to Our queen and all our elves come herego. The queen and her elves will be here anon. soon. ROBIN ROBIN The king doth keep his revels here tonight. The king’s having a party here tonight. 5 Take heed the queen come not within hisJust make sure the queen doesn’t come sight. anywhere near him, because King For Oberon is passing fell and wrath Oberon is extremely angry. He’s furious Because that she, as her attendant hath because she stole an adorable boy from A lovely boy stolen from an Indian king. an Indian king. She’s never kidnapped 10 She never had so sweet a changeling. such a darling human child before, and And jealous Oberon would have the child Oberon’s jealous. He wants the child for Knight of his train, to trace the forests wild. himself, to accompany him on his But she perforce withholds the lovèd boy, wanderings through the wild forests. But Crowns him with flowers, and makes him allthe queen refuses to hand the boy over her joy. to Oberon. Instead, she puts flowers in

14 the boy’s hair and makes a fuss over him. Act 2, Scene 1, Page 2

Original Text Modern Text And now they never meet in grove or green, And now Oberon and Titania refuse to 15 By fountain clear or spangled starlightspeak to each other, or meet each other sheen. anywhere—neither in the forest nor on But they do square, that all their elves forthe plain, nor by the river nor under the fear stars. They always argue, and the little Creep into acorn cups and hide them there. fairies get so frightened that they hide in acorn cups and won’t come out. FAIRY FAIRY Either I mistake your shape and makingUnless I’m mistaken, you’re that quite, mischievous and naughty spirit named 20 Or else you are that shrewd and knavishRobin Goodfellow. Aren’t you the one sprite who goes around scaring the maidens in Called Robin Goodfellow. Are not you he the village, stealing the cream from the That frights the maidens of the villagery, top of the milk, screwing up the flour Skim milk, and sometimes labor in the quern mills, and frustrating housewives by 25 And bootless make the breathless housewifekeeping their milk from turning into churn, butter? Aren’t you the one who keeps And sometime make the drink to bear nobeer from foaming up as it should, and barm, causes people to get lost at night, while Mislead night-wanderers, laughing at theiryou laugh at them? Some people call harm? you “Hobgoblin” and “sweet Puck,” and Those that “Hobgoblin” call you, and “sweetyou’re nice to them. You do their work Puck,” for them and give them good luck. That’s You do their work, and they shall have goodyou, right? luck. Are not you he? ROBIN ROBIN Thou speak’st aright. What you say is true. That’s me you’re I am that merry wanderer of the night. talking about, the playful wanderer of the 30 I jest to Oberon and make him smile night. I tell jokes to Oberon and make When I a fat and bean-fed horse beguile, him smile. I’ll trick a fat, well-fed horse Neighing in likeness of a filly foal. into thinking that I’m a young female And sometime lurk I in a gossip’s bowl horse. Sometimes I hide at the bottom of In very likeness of a roasted crab, an old woman’s drink disguised as an 35 And when she drinks, against her lips I bob apple. When she takes a sip, I bob up And on her withered dewlap pour the ale. against her lips and make her spill the The wisest aunt telling the saddest tale drink all over her withered old neck. Sometime for three-foot stool mistaketh me. Sometimes a wise old woman with a sad Then slip I from her bum, down topples she, story to tell tries to sit down on me, 40 And “Tailor!” cries, and falls into a cough, thinking I’m a three-legged stool. But I And then the whole quire hold their hips andslip from underneath her and she falls laugh, down, crying, “Ow, my butt!” and starts And waxen in their mirth, and neeze, andcoughing, and then everyone laughs and swear has fun. But step aside, fairy! Here A merrier hour was never wasted there. comes Oberon. But, room, fairy! Here comes Oberon.

15 FAIRY FAIRY 45 And here my mistress. Would that he wereAnd here’s my mistress, Titania. I wish gone! he’d go away! Act 2, Scene 1, Page 3

Original Text Modern Text Enter OBERON, the King of Fairies, at one OBERON, the Fairy King, and his side with his train, and TITANIA, the Queen,followers enter. On the opposite side of at the other, with hers the stage, TITANIA, the Fairy Queen, and her followers enter. OBERON OBERON Ill met by moonlight, proud Titania. How not nice to see you, Titania. TITANIA TITANIA What, jealous Oberon?—Fairies, skip hence. What, are you jealous, Oberon?— I have forsworn his bed and company. Fairies, let’s get out of here. I’ve sworn I’ll never sleep with him or talk to him again. OBERON OBERON Tarry, rash wanton. Am not I thy lord? Wait just a minute, you brazen hussy. Aren’t you supposed to obey me, your lord and husband? TITANIA TITANIA 50 Then I must be thy lady. But I know If you’re my lord and husband, I must be When thou hast stolen away from Fairyland, your lady and wife, so you’re supposed And in the shape of Corin sat all day, to be faithful to me. But I know for a fact Playing on pipes of corn and versing love that you snuck away from Fairyland To amorous Phillida. Why art thou here, disguised as a shepherd, and spent all 55 Come from the farthest step of India? day playing straw pipes and singing love But that, forsooth, the bouncing Amazon, poems to your new girlfriend. The only Your buskined mistress and your warriorreason you left India was to come here love, and see that butch Amazon Hippolyta. To Theseus must be wedded, and you come She was your boot-wearing mistress and To give their bed joy and prosperity. your warrior lover, and now that she’s getting married to Theseus, you’ve come to celebrate their marriage. OBERON OBERON 60 How canst thou thus for shame, Titania, How can you stand there shamelessly Knowing I know thy love to Theseus? Glancetalking about me and Hippolyta, when at my credit with Hippolyta, you know that I know about your love for Didst thou not lead him through theTheseus? Weren’t you the one who glimmering night made him desert Perigouna in the 65 From Perigouna, whom he ravishèd? middle of the night, right after he’d raped And make him with fair Ægles break hisher? And weren’t you the one who made faith, him cheat on all of his other girlfriends, With Ariadne and Antiopa? like Aegles, Ariadne, and Antiopa? Act 2, Scene 1, Page 4

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16 TITANIA TITANIA These are the forgeries of jealousy. These are nothing but jealous lies. And never, since the middle summer’sSince the beginning of midsummer, my spring, fairies and I haven’t been able to meet Met we on hill, in dale, forest, or mead, anywhere to do our dances in the wind 70 By pavèd fountain, or by rushy brook, without being disturbed by you and your Or in the beachèd margent of the sea, arguments. We haven’t been able to To dance our ringlets to the whistling wind, meet on a hill or in a valley, in the forest But with thy brawls thou hast disturbed ouror a meadow, by a pebbly fountain or a sport. rushing stream, or on the beach by the 75 Therefore the winds, piping to us in vain, ocean without you disturbing us. And As in revenge, have sucked up from the sea because you interrupt us so that we Contagious fogs, which falling in the land can’t dance for them, the winds have Have every pelting river made so proud made fogs rise up out of the sea and fall That they have overborne their continents. down on the rivers so that the rivers 80 The ox hath therefore stretched his yoke inflood, just to get revenge on you. So all vain, the work that oxen and farmers have The ploughman lost his sweat, and thedone in plowing the fields has been for green corn nothing, because the unripe grain has Hath rotted ere his youth attained a beard. rotted before it was ripe. Sheep pens 85 The fold stands empty in the drownèd field, are empty in the middle of the flooded And crows are fatted with the murrain flock. fields, and the crows get fat from eating The nine-men’s-morris is filled up with mud, the dead bodies of infected sheep. All And the quaint mazes in the wanton green the fields where people usually play For lack of tread are undistinguishable. games are filled with mud, and you can’t 90 The human mortals want their winter here. even see the elaborate mazes that No night is now with hymn or carol blessed. people create in the grass, because no Therefore the moon, the governess ofone walks in them anymore and they’ve floods, all grown over. It’s not winter here for Pale in her anger, washes all the air, the human mortals, so they’re not 95 That rheumatic diseases do abound. protected by the holy hymns and carols And thorough this distemperature we see that they sing in winter. So the pale, The seasons alter: hoary-headed frosts angry moon, who controls the tides, fills Fall in the fresh lap of the crimson rose, the air with diseases. As a consequence And on old Hiems' thin and icy crown of this bad weather and these bad 100 An odorous chaplet of sweet summer buds moods the seasons have started to Is, as in mockery, set. The spring, thechange. Cold frosts spread over the red summer, roses, and the icy winter wears a crown The childing autumn, angry winter change of sweet summer flowers as some sick Their wonted liveries, and the mazèd world, joke. Spring, summer, fertile autumn By their increase, now knows not which isand angry winter have all changed which. places, and now the confused world And this same progeny of evils comes doesn’t know which is which. And this is From our debate, from our dissension. all because of our argument. We are We are their parents and original. responsible for this. Act 2, Scene 1, Page 5

Original Text Modern Text OBERON OBERON Do you amend it then. It lies in you. Do something about it, then. You have Why should Titania cross her Oberon? the power to fix it. Why would Titania 105 I do but beg a little changeling boy, want to argue with her Oberon? All I’m

17 To be my henchman. asking for is to have that little human boy as part of my crew. TITANIA TITANIA Set your heart at rest. Get over it. I won’t give up this child for The Fairyland buys not the child of me. all of Fairyland. His mother was one of His mother was a votaress of my order, my worshippers, and we always used to And in the spicèd Indian air by night gossip together at night in India, sitting 110 Full often hath she gossiped by my side, together by the ocean and watching the And sat with me on Neptune’s yellow sands, merchant ships sailing on the ocean. Marking th' embarkèd traders on the flood, We used to laugh to see the sails fill up When we have laughed to see the sailswith wind so that they looked like they conceive had big, pregnant bellies, as if the wind 115 And grow big-bellied with the wanton wind; had gotten them pregnant. She would Which she, with pretty and with swimmingimitate them—since she was already gait pregnant with the little boy—and she Following—her womb then rich with mywould go sailing over the land herself to young squire— go get me little presents, and come 120 Would imitate, and sail upon the land back carrying gifts like she was a ship To fetch me trifles and return again coming back from a voyage. But since As from a voyage, rich with merchandise. she was a mortal, she died giving birth But she, being mortal, of that boy did die. to that boy, and for her sake I’m raising And for her sake do I rear up her boy, him and will not give him up. And for her sake I will not part with him. OBERON OBERON How long within this wood intend you stay? How long do you plan to stay here in this forest? TITANIA TITANIA Perchance till after Theseus' wedding day. Maybe until after Theseus’s wedding 125 If you will patiently dance in our round day. If you behave yourself and join us And see our moonlight revels, go with us. in our circle dance and moonlight If not, shun me, and I will spare your haunts.celebrations, then you can come with us. If not, leave me alone, and I’ll stay away from your turf. OBERON OBERON Give me that boy and I will go with thee. Give me that boy and I’ll come with you. TITANIA TITANIA Not for thy fairy kingdom.—Fairies, away! Not for your entire fairy kingdom.— 130 We shall chide downright, if I longer stay. Come, fairies, let’s go. We’re going to have an out-and-out brawl if I stay any longer. Exeunt TITANIA and her train TITANIA and her FAIRIES exit. Act 2, Scene 1, Page 6

Original Text Modern Text OBERON OBERON Well, go thy way. Thou shalt not from thisWell, go on your way, then. You won’t grove leave this grove until I’ve paid you back Till I torment thee for this injury.—(to ROBINfor this insult. (to ROBIN GOODFELLOW) GOODFELLOW) My dear Puck, come

18 135 My gentle Puck, come hither. Thouhere. You remember the time when I rememberest was sitting on a cliff, and I heard a Since once I sat upon a promontory mermaid sitting on a dolphin’s back sing And heard a mermaid on a dolphin’s back such a sweet and harmonious song that Uttering such dulcet and harmonious breath it calmed the stormy sea and made That the rude sea grew civil at her song stars shoot out of the sky so they could And certain stars shot madly from theirhear her better? spheres To hear the seamaid’s music? ROBIN ROBIN I remember. Yes, I remember. OBERON OBERON 140 That very time I saw (but thou couldst not) That same night, I saw Cupid flying from Flying between the cold moon and thethe moon to the earth, with all of his Earth, arrows ready. (You couldn’t see him, Cupid all armed. A certain aim he took but I could.) He took aim at a beautiful At a fair vestal thronèd by the west, young virgin who was sitting on a throne 145 And loosed his love shaft smartly from hisin the western part of the world, and he bow shot his arrow of love well enough to As it should pierce a hundred thousandhave pierced a hundred thousand hearts. hearts. But I could see that Cupid’s fiery But I might see young Cupid’s fiery shaft arrow was put out by watery, virginal 150 Quenched in the chaste beams of themoonbeams, so the royal virgin watery moon, continued her virginal thoughts without And the imperial votaress passèd on, being interrupted by thoughts of love. In maiden meditation, fancy-free. But I paid attention to where Cupid’s Yet marked I where the bolt of Cupid fell. arrow fell. It fell on a little western 155 It fell upon a little western flower, flower, which used to be white as milk Before milk-white, now purple with love’sbut now has turned purple from being wound. wounded by the arrow of love. Young And maidens call it “love-in-idleness.” girls call it “love-in-idleness.” Bring me Fetch me that flower. The herb I showedthat flower. I showed it to you once. If its thee once. juice is put on someone’s eyelids while The juice of it on sleeping eyelids laid they’re asleep, that person will fall in Will make or man or woman madly dote love with the next living creature he or Upon the next live creature that it sees. she sees. Bring me this plant, and get Fetch me this herb, and be thou here again back here before the sea monster has Ere the leviathan can swim a league. time to swim three miles. ROBIN ROBIN 160 I’ll put a girdle round about the Earth I could go around the world in forty In forty minutes. minutes. Act 2, Scene 1, Page 7

Original Text Modern Text Exit ROBIN ROBIN exits. OBERON OBERON Having once this juice, When I have the juice of that flower, I’ll I’ll watch Titania when she is asleep trickle some drops of it on Titania’s eyes And drop the liquor of it in her eyes. while she’s sleeping. She’ll fall madly in The next thing then she waking looks uponlove with the first thing she sees when

19 165 — she wakes up—even if it’s a lion, a Be it on lion, bear, or wolf, or bull, bear, a wolf, a bull, a monkey, or an On meddling monkey or on busy ape— ape. And before I make her normal She shall pursue it with the soul of love. again—I can cure her by treating her And ere I take this charm from of her sight—with another plant—I’ll make her give 170 As I can take it with another herb— me that little boy as my page. But who’s I’ll make her render up her page to me. that coming this way? I’ll make myself But who comes here? I am invisible. invisible and listen to their conversation. And I will overhear their conference. Enter DEMETRIUS, HELENA following him DEMETRIUS enters, followed by HELENA. DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS I love thee not, therefore pursue me not. Look, I don’t love you, so stop following Where is Lysander and fair Hermia? me around. Where are Lysander and 175 The one I’ll stay, the other stayeth me. beautiful Hermia? Lysander I want to Thou told’st me they were stol'n unto thisstop, but Hermia stops my heart from wood. beating. You told me they escaped into And here am I, and wood within this wood, this forest. And here I am, going crazy Because I cannot meet my Hermia. in the middle of the woods because I Hence, get thee gone, and follow me nocan’t find my Hermia. Go away, get out more. of here, and stop following me. HELENA HELENA 180 You draw me, you hard-hearted adamant. You attract me to you, you cruel But yet you draw not iron, for my heart magnet! But you must not attract iron, Is true as steel. Leave you your power tobecause my heart is as true as steel. If draw, you let go of your power to attract me, I And I shall have no power to follow you. won’t have any power to follow you. DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS Do I entice you? Do I speak you fair? Do I ask you to follow me? Do I speak 185 Or rather, do I not in plainest truth to you kindly? Don’t I tell you in the Tell you I do not, nor I cannot, love you? clearest terms that I do not and cannot love you? Act 2, Scene 1, Page 8

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HELENA HELENA And even for that do I love you the more. Yes, but that makes me love you even I am your spaniel. And, Demetrius, more. I’m your little dog, Demetrius. The The more you beat me, I will fawn on you. more you beat me, the more I’ll love 190 Use me but as your spaniel—spurn me,you. Treat me like you would treat a dog strike me, —kick me, hit me, neglect me, try to Neglect me, lose me. Only give me leave, lose me. Just let me follow behind you, Unworthy as I am, to follow you. even though I’m not good enough for What worser place can I beg in your love— you. Could I ask for a worse place in 195 And yet a place of high respect with me— your heart than to be treated as you Than to be usèd as you use your dog? would treat a dog? And yet I would consider it an honor to be your dog. DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS Tempt not too much the hatred of my spirit. Don’t push it. Just looking at you makes For I am sick when I do look on thee. me sick. 20 HELENA HELENA And I am sick when I look not on you. And I get sick when I can’t look at you. DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS You do impeach your modesty too much, You’re risking your reputation by leaving 200 To leave the city and commit yourself the city and stalking someone who Into the hands of one that loves you not, doesn’t love you. Standing around alone To trust the opportunity of night in a deserted area in the middle of the And the ill counsel of a desert place night isn’t the best way to protect your With the rich worth of your virginity. virginity. HELENA HELENA 205 Your virtue is my privilege. For that I rely on your virtue to protect me. And It is not night when I do see your face. because I can see your shining face, it Therefore I think I am not in the night. doesn’t feel like nighttime to me. This Nor doth this wood lack worlds of company, forest doesn’t seem deserted when For you in my respect are all the world. you’re here, because you are all the 210 Then how can it be said I am alone world to me. So how can anyone say When all the world is here to look on me? I’m alone, when the whole world is here to look at me? DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS I’ll run from thee and hide me in the brakes, I’ll run away from you and hide in the And leave thee to the mercy of wild beasts. bushes, and leave you to the mercy of wild animals. HELENA HELENA The wildest hath not such a heart as you. The wildest animal isn’t as cruel as you 215 Run when you will, the story shall beare. Run whenever you want to. The changed. story of Daphne and Apollo will be changed: Act 2, Scene 1, Page 9

Original Text Modern Text Apollo flies and Daphne holds the chase. the lustful god Apollo runs away from The dove pursues the griffin. The mild hind the virginal nymph Daphne who pursues Makes speed to catch the tiger—bootlesshim, the dove chases after the griffin, speed, which is usually its predator, and the When cowardice pursues and valor flies. gentle deer tries to hunt down the tiger —speed is useless when the cowardly person chases and the brave person runs away. DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS 220 I will not stay thy questions. Let me go. I’m not sticking around to listen to you Or if thou follow me, do not believe any longer. Leave me alone. Or if you But I shall do thee mischief in the wood. follow me, you’d better understand that I’ll do something bad to you in the forest. HELENA HELENA Ay, in the temple, in the town, the field Yes, you already hurt me in the church, You do me mischief. Fie, Demetrius! in the town, and in the fields. Shame on 225 Your wrongs do set a scandal on my sex. you, Demetrius! Your behavior is an We cannot fight for love as men may do. insult to all women. We cannot fight for

21 We should be wooed and were not made tolove as men can. We should be pursued woo. and courted. We weren’t made to do the pursuing. Exit DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS exits. I’ll follow thee and make a heaven of hell, I’ll follow you and turn this hell I’m in into To die upon the hand I love so well. a kind of heaven. It would be heavenly to be killed by someone I love so much. Exit HELENA HELENA exits. OBERON OBERON 230 Fare thee well, nymph. Ere he do leave thisGoodbye, nymph. Before he leaves this grove, part of the forest, you’ll change places: Thou shalt fly him and he shall seek thyyou’ll be the one running away, and he’ll love. be in love with you. Enter ROBIN ROBIN enters. Hast thou the flower there? Welcome,Do you have the flower? Welcome, wanderer. traveler. ROBIN ROBIN Ay, there it is. Yes, here it is. OBERON OBERON I pray thee, give it me. Please, give it to me. (he takes the (takes flower from ROBIN) flower from ROBIN) I know a place 235 I know a bank where the wild thyme blows, where wild thyme blooms, and oxlips Where oxlips and the nodding violet grows, and violets grow. It’s covered over with Quite overcanopied with luscious woodbine, luscious honeysuckle, sweet muskroses With sweet musk roses and with eglantine. and sweetbrier. Act 2, Scene 1, Page 10

Original Text Modern Text There sleeps Titania sometime of the night, Titania sleeps there sometimes at night, 240 Lulled in these flowers with dances andlulled to sleep among the flowers by delight. dances and other delights. Snakes shed And there the snake throws her enameledtheir skin there, and the shed skin is skin, wide enough to wrap a fairy in. I’ll put Weed wide enough to wrap a fairy in. the juice of this flower on Titania’s eyes, 245 And with the juice of this I’ll streak her eyes and fill her with horrible delusions and And make her full of hateful fantasies. desires. (he gives ROBIN part of the (gives ROBIN some of the flower) flower) You take some of it too, and look Take thou some of it and seek through thisaround in this part of the forest. A sweet grove: Athenian lady is in love with a young 250 A sweet Athenian lady is in love man who wants nothing to do with her. With a disdainful youth. Anoint his eyes. Put some of this flower’s juice on his But do it when the next thing he espies eyes, and make sure to do it in such a May be the lady. Thou shalt know the man way that the next thing he sees will be By the Athenian garments he hath on. the lady. You’ll be able to tell it’s him Effect it with some care, that he may prove because he’s wearing Athenian clothes. More fond on her than she upon her love. Do it carefully, so that he’ll end up And look thou meet me ere the first cockloving her more than she loves him. And crow. then make sure to meet me before the

22 rooster’s first crow at dawn. ROBIN ROBIN 255 Fear not, my lord. Your servant shall do so. Don’t worry, sir. I’m at your service. Exeunt severally They all exit, separately. Act 2, Scene 2

Original Text Modern Text Enter TITANIA, Queen of Fairies, with her TITANIA, the Fairy Queen, enters with train of FAIRIES her following of FAIRIES. TITANIA TITANIA Come now, a roundel and a fairy song. Come, dance in a circle and sing a fairy Then for the third part of a minute, hence— song, and then go off for a while to do Some to kill cankers in the musk-rose buds, your work. Some of you will kill the Some war with reremice for their leathernworms infesting the rosebuds, some of 5 wings you will fight with bats to get their To make my small elves coats, and someleathery wings, so we can make coats keep back for my small elves. Some of you will The clamorous owl that nightly hoots andkeep that loud owl away, the one that wonders hoots and wonders every night at us At our quaint spirits. Sing me now asleep. dainty fairies. Sing me to sleep now, and Then to your offices and let me rest. then go off to do your duties and let me rest. FAIRIES sing The FAIRIES sing. FIRST FAIRY FIRST FAIRY (sings) (singing) You spotted snakes with double tongue, Snakes with forked tongues, Thorny hedgehogs, be not seen. And porcupines, don’t be seen. Newts and blindworms, do no wrong. Deadly lizards, don’t be mean. Come not near our fairy queen. Don’t come near our fairy queen. FAIRIES FAIRIES 10 (sing) (singing) Philomel, with melody Nightingale, melodiously Sing in our sweet lullaby. Sing our sweet lullaby. Lulla, lulla, lullaby, lulla, lulla, lullaby. Lulla, lulla, lullaby, lulla, lulla, lullaby. Never harm Let no harm Nor spell nor charm Or spell or charm Come our lovely lady nigh. Come near our lovely lady. So good night, with lullaby. Say good night with a lullaby. FIRST FAIRY FIRST FAIRY (sings) (singing) Weaving spiders, come not here. Spiders with your webs, stay away. Hence, you long-legged spinners, hence! You long-legged things, begone! Act 2, Scene 2, Page 2

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Beetles black, approach not near. Black beetles, don’t come near. Worm nor snail, do no offense. Worms and snails, don’t be bad.

23 FAIRIES FAIRIES (sing) (singing) Philomel, with melody Nightingale, melodiously Sing in our sweet lullaby. Sing our sweet lullaby. Lulla, lulla, lullaby, lulla, lulla, lullaby. Lulla, lulla, lullaby, lulla, lulla, lullaby. Never harm Let no harm Nor spell nor charm Or spell or charm Come our lovely lady nigh. Come near our lovely lady. So good night, with lullaby. Say good night with a lullaby. TITANIA sleeps TITANIA falls asleep. SECOND FAIRY SECOND FAIRY Hence, away! Now all is well. Okay, let’s go! Everything’s fine now. One aloof stand sentinel. One of us will stay and stand guard. Exeunt FAIRIES The FAIRIES exit. Enter OBERON OBERON enters. OBERON OBERON 15 (squeezing flower juice on TITANIA ’s(he squeezes flower juice on TITANIA ’s eyelids) eyelids) What thou seest when thou dost wake, Whatever you see first when you wake Do it for thy true love take. up, think of it as your true love. Love him Love and languish for his sake. and yearn for him, even if he’s a lynx, a 20 Be it ounce or cat or bear, cat, a bear, a leopard, or a wild boar. Pard or boar with bristled hair, Whatever’s there when you wake up will In thy eye that shall appear, be dear to you. Wake up when When thou wakest, it is thy dear. something nasty is nearby. Wake when some vile thing is near. Exit OBERON OBERON exits. Enter LYSANDER and HERMIA LYSANDER and HERMIA enter. LYSANDER LYSANDER Fair love, you faint with wandering in theMy love, you look like you’re about to 25 wood. faint from wandering in the woods for so And to speak troth, I have forgot our way. long, and to tell you the truth, I’ve gotten us lost. Act 2, Scene 2, Page 3

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We’ll rest us, Hermia, if you think it good. We’ll take a rest, if you think it’s a good And tarry for the comfort of the day. idea, and wait until daylight when things will be easier. HERMIA HERMIA Be it so, Lysander. Find you out a bed, Let’s do that, Lysander. Find something For I upon this bank will rest my head. to cushion you while you sleep. I’m going to rest my head on this little slope. LYSANDER LYSANDER 30 One turf shall serve as pillow for us both. We can both sleep together on the One heart, one bed, two bosoms, and onegrass. We’ll have one heart, one bed, troth. two bodies, and one faithful vow.

24 HERMIA HERMIA Nay, good Lysander. For my sake, my dear, No, Lysander. Please, for my sake, Lie further off yet. Do not lie so near. sleep a little farther away. Don’t sleep so close to me. LYSANDER LYSANDER O, take the sense, sweet, of my innocence. Oh, sweetheart, I didn’t mean anything 35 Love takes the meaning in love’snaughty when I said that. When lovers conference. talk to each other, their hearts should I mean that my heart unto yours is knit understand each other. I just meant that So that but one heart we can make of it. our hearts are joined, so we can almost Two bosoms interchainèd with an oath— think of them as one heart. Our two 40 So then two bosoms and a single troth. bodies are linked together by the Then by your side no bed room me deny. promises we’ve made to each other, so For, lying so, Hermia, I do not lie. there are two bodies and one faithful vow. So let me sleep next to you. If I lie next to you, I won’t lie to you—I’ll be faithful and respect you. HERMIA HERMIA Lysander riddles very prettily. Lysander’s got a way with words. I would Now much beshrew my manners and mycertainly be rude and shameful if I had pride implied that you were a liar. But please, 45 If Hermia meant to say Lysander lied. darling, sleep a little farther away so we But, gentle friend, for love and courtesy can behave properly. It’s only proper for Lie further off in human modesty. a well-behaved bachelor and a well- Such separation as may well be said behaved girl to be physically separated Becomes a virtuous bachelor and a maid. like this. Stay away for now, and good 50 So far be distant. And, good night, sweetnight, my sweet friend. I hope your love friend. for me remains this strong for your entire Thy love ne'er alter till thy sweet life end! life! LYSANDER LYSANDER Amen, amen to that fair prayer, say I. Amen to that. I hope my life ends before And then end life when I end loyalty! my loyalty to you does. I’ll sleep over Here is my bed. Sleep give thee all his rest! here. Sleep well! Act 2, Scene 2, Page 4

Original Text Modern Text HERMIA HERMIA With half that wish the wisher’s eyes beYou sleep well too. pressed! HERMIA and LYSANDER sleep HERMIA and LYSANDER sleep. ROBIN enters. Enter ROBIN ROBIN ROBIN Through the forest have I gone. I’ve been through the entire forest, but I But Athenian found I none, haven’t found any Athenian man to use On whose eyes I might approve the flower on. (he sees LYSANDER and This flower’s force in stirring love. HERMIA) Wait a second, who’s this? 55 (sees LYSANDER and HERMIA) He’s wearing Athenian clothes. This Night and silence! Who is here? must be the guy who rejected the

25 Weeds of Athens he doth wear. Athenian girl. And here’s the girl, This is he, my master said, sleeping soundly on the damp and dirty Despisèd the Athenian maid. ground. Pretty girl! She shouldn’t lie near And here the maiden, sleeping sound this rude and heartless man. (he puts On the dank and dirty ground. flower juice on LYSANDER ’s eyelids) Pretty soul! She durst not lie Jerk, I throw all the power of this magic Near this lack-love, this kill-courtesy. charm on your eyes. When you wake up, (squeezes flower juice on LYSANDER’slet love keep you from going back to eyelids) sleep. Wake up when I’m gone, because Churl, upon thy eyes I throw now I have to go to Oberon. All the power this charm doth owe. When thou wakest, let love forbid Sleep his seat on thy eyelid. So awake when I am gone, For I must now to Oberon. Exit ROBIN ROBIN exits. Enter DEMETRIUS and HELENA, running DEMETRIUS and HELENA enter, running. HELENA HELENA Stay, though thou kill me, sweet Demetrius. Stop, Demetrius! Stop, even if only to kill me. DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS I charge thee, hence, and do not haunt meI’m telling you, get out of here, and don’t thus. follow me around like this. HELENA HELENA O, wilt thou darkling leave me? Do not so. Oh, will you leave me alone in the dark? Don’t. Act 2, Scene 2, Page 5

Original Text Modern Text DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS 60 Stay, on thy peril. I alone will go. Stay here at your own risk. I’m going on alone. Exit DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS exits. HELENA HELENA Oh, I am out of breath in this fond chase. Oh, I’m out of breath from this foolish The more my prayer, the lesser is my grace. chase. The more I pray, the less I get Happy is Hermia, wheresoe'er she lies, out of it. Hermia is lucky, wherever she For she hath blessèd and attractive eyes. is, because she has beautiful eyes. How 65 How came her eyes so bright? Not with saltdid her eyes get so bright? Not from tears. crying. If that’s the case, tears wash my If so, my eyes are oftener washed than hers. eyes more than hers. No, no, I’m as ugly No, no, I am as ugly as a bear, as a bear, since animals that see me run For beasts that meet me run away for fear. away in terror. So it’s no surprise that 70 Therefore no marvel though Demetrius Demetrius runs away from me as if I Do, as a monster, fly my presence thus. were a monster. What evil and deceitful What wicked and dissembling glass of mine mirror made me think I could rival Made me compare with Hermia’s spheryHermia’s starry eyes? (she sees eyne? LYSANDER) But who’s this here?

26 75 (sees LYSANDER)But who is here?Lysander, on the ground? Is he dead or Lysander, on the ground? sleeping? I don’t see any blood or Dead or asleep? I see no blood, no wound.injuries—Lysander, if you’re alive, wake — up. Lysander, if you live, good sir, awake. LYSANDER LYSANDER (waking) And run through fire I will for thy(waking up) I’d even run through fire if sweet sake. you told me to. Radiant, beautiful Transparent Helena! Nature shows art Helena! I feel like Mother Nature has That through thy bosom makes me see thyallowed me to see into your heart, as if 80 heart. by magic. Where is Demetrius? Oh, I’d Where is Demetrius? Oh, how fit a word kill that name with my sword if I could! Is that vile name to perish on my sword! HELENA HELENA Do not say so, Lysander. Say not so. Don’t say that, Lysander. Don’t say that. What though he love your Hermia? Lord,Why do you care that he loves Hermia? what though? What does it matter? Hermia still loves Yet Hermia still loves you. Then be content. you, so be happy. LYSANDER LYSANDER Content with Hermia? No. I do repent Happy with Hermia? No. I regret all the 85 The tedious minutes I with her have spent. boring time I wasted with her. I don’t love Not Hermia but Helena I love. Hermia; I love Helena. Who wouldn’t Who will not change a raven for a dove? love a dove more than a crow? A man’s The will of man is by his reason swayed, desires are influenced by his logical And reason says you are the worthier maid. mind, and it’s simply logical that you’re more worthy of love than Hermia is. Act 2, Scene 2, Page 6

Original Text Modern Text 90 Things growing are not ripe until theirFruits and vegetables don’t ripen until season. the right season of the year. Likewise, So I, being young, till now ripe not toI’m young, and my sense of reason has reason. just ripened. I can finally see the light. And touching now the point of human skill, My logic has more control over my 95 Reason becomes the marshal to my will desires than it used to, and it’s telling And leads me to your eyes, where I o'erlook me to look into your eyes, where I see Love’s stories written in love’s richest book. every love story ever told. HELENA HELENA Wherefore was I to this keen mockery born? Why does everyone always make fun of When at your hands did I deserve thisme? What have I done to deserve this scorn? kind of treatment from you? Is it not Is ’t not enough, is ’t not enough, youngenough, is it not enough, young man, 100 man, that I’ll never be pretty enough to get a That I did never, no, nor never can, kind look from Demetrius? Do you have Deserve a sweet look from Demetrius' eye, to harp on my inadequacy? My God, it’s But you must flout my insufficiency? wrong for you to woo me in such a Good troth, you do me wrong, good sooth,cruel, disdainful way. But goodbye. I 105 you do, have to tell you, I thought you were a In such disdainful manner me to woo. much kinder person than this. Oh, how But fare you well. Perforce I must confess awful that a lady who’s been rejected by

27 I thought you lord of more true gentleness. one man should therefore be treated Oh, that a lady of one man refused horribly by another one! Should of another therefore be abused! Exit HELENA HELENA exits. LYSANDER LYSANDER She sees not Hermia.—Hermia, sleep thouShe doesn’t see Hermia—Hermia, keep there. sleeping, and don’t come near me ever 110 And never mayst thou come Lysander near! again! Eating too many sweets makes For as a surfeit of the sweetest things people sick to their stomachs, and The deepest loathing to the stomach brings, people always hate the mistakes they Or as the heresies that men do leave made in the past worse than anyone Are hated most of those they did deceive, else hates those mistakes. Hermia, 115 So thou, my surfeit and my heresy, you’re the sweet I’ve had too much of, Of all be hated, but the most of me.— and the mistake I used to make, so I And all my powers, address your love andhate you more than anyone else does. might —I’ll use all my talents and efforts to To honor Helen and to be her knight. serve Helen and bring her honor. Exit LYSANDER LYSANDER exits. Act 2, Scene 2, Page 7

Original Text Modern Text HERMIA HERMIA (waking) Help me, Lysander, help me! Do(waking up) Help me, Lysander, help thy best me! Get this snake off of my chest. Oh, 120 To pluck this crawling serpent from mymy God! What a terrible dream I just breast. had! Lysander, look how I’m shaking Ay me, for pity! What a dream was here. from fear. I thought a snake was eating Lysander, look how I do quake with fear. my heart while you sat smiling and Methought a serpent eat my heart away, watching. Lysander!—What, is he 125 And you sat smiling at his cruel pray. gone?—Lysander, my lord!—What, is Lysander!—What, removed?—Lysander,he out of earshot? Gone? No answer, lord!— nothing? Oh, God, where are you? Say What, out of hearing, gone? No sound, nosomething if you can hear me. Say word?— something, please! I’m almost fainting Alack, where are you? Speak, an if youwith fear. Nothing? Then I guess you’re hear. nowhere nearby. I’ll find you—or die— Speak, of all loves! I swoon almost with fear.right away. No? Then I well perceive you all not nigh. Either death or you I’ll find immediately. Exit HERMIA exits. Act 3, Scene 1

Original Text Modern Text TITANIA sleeps. Enter the clowns:While TITANIA is asleep onstage, the BOTTOM, QUINCE, FLUTE, SNUG,clowns—BOTTOM, QUINCE, FLUTE, SNOUT, and STARVELING SNUG, SNOUT, and STARVELING— enter. BOTTOM BOTTOM

28 Are we all met? Are we all here? QUINCE QUINCE Pat, pat. And here’s a marvelous convenientRight on time. This is the perfect place to place for our rehearsal. This green plot shallrehearse. This clearing will be the stage, be our stage, this hawthorn-brake our tiring-and this hawthorn bush will be our house, and we will do it in action as we will dodressing room. Let’s put on our play it before the duke. exactly as we’ll perform it for the duke. BOTTOM BOTTOM Peter Quince— Peter Quince— QUINCE QUINCE What sayest thou, bully Bottom? What is it, jolly Bottom? BOTTOM BOTTOM 5 There are things in this comedy of PyramusThere are things in this comedy of and Thisbe that will never please. First,Pyramus and Thisbe that will never work. Pyramus must draw a sword to kill himself,First of all, Pyramus has to take out a which the ladies cannot abide. How answersword to kill himself, which the ladies in you that? the audience won’t be able to stand. What should we do about that? SNOUT SNOUT By 'r lakin, a parlous fear. By God, that’s a real problem, it’s true. STARVELING STARVELING I believe we must leave the killing out, whenI think we’ll have to leave out all the all is done. killing, come to think of it. BOTTOM BOTTOM Not a whit. I have a device to make all well.Not at all! I’ve got a plan that will fix Write me a prologue, and let the prologueeverything. Write me a prologue that I seem to say we will do no harm with ourcan recite to the audience before the play swords, and that Pyramus is not killedstarts. I’ll tell them that we won’t hurt indeed. And for the more better assurance,anyone with our swords, and that tell them that I, Pyramus, am not Pyramus,Pyramus isn’t really dead. And to make it but Bottom the weaver. This will put them outeven clearer, we can tell them that I’m of fear. playing Pyramus but I’m not really Pyramus—really, I’m Bottom the weaver. That’ll keep them from being afraid. Act 3, Scene 1, Page 2

Original Text Modern Text QUINCE QUINCE Well. We will have such a prologue, and itAll right, we’ll have a prologue then. shall be written in eight and six. We’ll write it in alternating eight- and six- syllable lines, just like in a ballad. BOTTOM BOTTOM 10 No, make it two more. Let it be written inNo, add a couple more syllables. Make it eight and eight. eight and eight. SNOUT SNOUT Will not the ladies be afeard of the lion? Won’t the ladies be scared of the lion? STARVELING STARVELING

29 I fear it, I promise you. I’m really worried about that. BOTTOM BOTTOM Masters, you ought to consider withSirs, you ought to think to yourself, yourselves. To bring in—God shield us!—abringing in—God forbid!—a lion amongst lion among ladies is a most dreadful thing.ladies is really terrible. There’s no For there is not a more fearful wildfowl thanscarier wild bird than the living lion, and your lion living. And we ought to look to ’t. we should remember that. SNOUT SNOUT Therefore another prologue must tell he isSo we need another prologue to tell not a lion. everyone he’s not a real lion. BOTTOM BOTTOM 15 Nay, you must name his name, and half hisNo, we can just announce the actor’s face must be seen through the lion’s neck.name, and let his face show through the And he himself must speak through, sayinglion costume, and have him say thus—or to the same defect—“Ladies,” orsomething himself. He should say the “Fair ladies,” “I would wish you” or “I wouldfollowing, or something else to the same request you” or “I would entreat you” “not todefect—“Ladies,” or “Lovely ladies,” “I fear, not to tremble, my life for yours. If youwould like to ask you” or “I would like to think I come hither as a lion, it were pity ofrequest of you” or “I would like to beg my life. No, I am no such thing. I am a manyou” “not to be afraid, and not to tremble as other men are.” And there indeed let himwith fear. I value your lives as highly as name his name, and tell them plainly he ismy own. If you thought I was a real lion, I Snug the joiner. would be risking my life. But no, I am not at all a lion. I am a man, just like other men.” And then he should say his name, and tell them plainly that he’s Snug the carpenter. QUINCE QUINCE Well, it shall be so. But there is two hardAll right, that’s what we’ll do then. But things: that is, to bring the moonlight into athere are two things we still have to chamber. For, you know, Pyramus andfigure out. How are we going to bring Thisbe meet by moonlight. moonlight into a room? Because, you know, Pyramus and Thisbe meet by moonlight. Act 3, Scene 1, Page 3

Original Text Modern Text SNOUT SNOUT Doth the moon shine that night we play ourWill the moon be shining on the night play? we’re performing our play? BOTTOM BOTTOM A calendar, a calendar! Look in the almanac.We need a calendar! Look in the Find out moonshine, find out moonshine! almanac. Look up moonshine, look up moonshine! QUINCE QUINCE (takes out a book) Yes, it doth shine that(he takes out a book) Yes, the moon will night. shine that night. BOTTOM BOTTOM 20 Why then, may you leave a casement of theWell then, you can leave one of the

30 great chamber window where we play open,windows open in the big hall where we’ll and the moon may shine in at the casement. be performing, and the moon can shine in through the window. QUINCE QUINCE Ay. Or else one must come in with a bush ofYes, or else someone will have to come thorns and a lantern, and say he comes toin carrying a bundle of sticks and a disfigure, or to present, the person oflantern and say he’s come to disfigure, Moonshine. Then, there is another thing: weor represent, the character of must have a wall in the great chamber. ForMoonshine, because the man in the Pyramus and Thisbe, says the story, did talkmoon is supposed to carry sticks and a through the chink of a wall. lantern. But there’s still another problem: we need to have a wall in the big hall, because according to the story, Pyramus and Thisbe talked through a little hole in a wall. SNOUT SNOUT You can never bring in a wall. What say you,You’ll never be able to bring in a wall. Bottom? What do you think, Bottom? BOTTOM BOTTOM Some man or other must present Wall. AndSomeone should play the part of Wall. let him have some plaster, or some loam, orHe can have some plaster or clay or some roughcast about him to signify wall.limestone or something on him to show And let him hold his fingers thus, andthe audience he’s a wall. He can hold his through that cranny shall Pyramus andfingers in a V-shape like this, and Thisbe whisper. Pyramus and Thisbe can whisper to each other through that little crack. QUINCE QUINCE If that may be then all is well. Come, sitIf we can do that, everything will be all down, every mother’s son, and rehearseright. Now sit down, everybody, and your parts.—Pyramus, you begin. When yourehearse your parts—Pyramus, you have spoken your speech, enter into thatstart. When you have said your lines, go brake.—And so everyone according to hishide in that bush.—Everyone else, go cue. there too when you’re not onstage. Act 3, Scene 1, Page 4

Original Text Modern Text Enter ROBIN unseen ROBIN enters, unseen by the characters onstage. ROBIN ROBIN 25 (aside) What hempen homespuns have we(to himself) Who are these country swaggering here, bumpkins swaggering around so close to So near the cradle of the fairy queen? where the fairy queen is sleeping? What, a play toward? I’ll be an auditor. What? Are they about to put on a play? An actor too, perhaps, if I see cause. I’ll watch. And I’ll act in it, too, if I feel like it. QUINCE QUINCE Speak, Pyramus.—Thisbe, stand forth. Speak, Pyramus.—Thisbe, come forward. BOTTOM BOTTOM

31 30 (as PYRAMUS) Thisbe, the flowers of odious(as PYRAMUS) Thisbe, flowers with savors sweet— sweet odious smells— QUINCE QUINCE “Odors,” “odors.” “Odors,” “odors.” BOTTOM BOTTOM (as PYRAMUS) (as PYRAMUS) —odors and smells are —odors savors sweet, like your breath, my dearest Thisbe So hath thy breath, my dearest Thisbe dear. dear. But what’s that, a voice! Wait here And by and by I will to thee appear. a while. I’ll be right back! 35 But hark, a voice! Stay thou but here awhile, Exit BOTTOM BOTTOM exits. ROBIN ROBIN (aside) A stranger Pyramus than e'er played(to himself) That’s the strangest here. Pyramus I’ve ever seen. Exit ROBIN ROBIN exits. FLUTE FLUTE Must I speak now? Am I supposed to talk now? QUINCE QUINCE Ay, marry, must you. For you mustYes, you are. You’re supposed to show understand he goes but to see a noise thatthat you understand that Pyramus just he heard, and is to come again. went to check on a noise he heard and is coming right back. FLUTE FLUTE (as THISBE ) Most radiant Pyramus, most(as THISBE) Most radiant Pyramus, you 40 lily-white of hue, are as white as a lily, and the color of a Of color like the red rose on triumphant brier, red rose on a splendid rosebush, a very Most brisky juvenal and eke most lovely Jew,lively young man and also a lovely Jew. As true as truest horse that yet would neverYou are as reliable as a horse that never tire. gets tired. I’ll meet you, Pyramus, at I’ll meet thee, Pyramus, at Ninny’s tomb. Ninny’s grave. Act 3, Scene 1, Page 5

Original Text Modern Text QUINCE QUINCE “ Ninus' tomb,” man. Why, you must notThat’s “Ninus’s grave,” man. And don’t speak that yet. That you answer to Pyramus.say all of that yet. You’re supposed to You speak all your part at once, cues and all.say some of it as a reply to Pyramus. —Pyramus, enter. Your cue is past. It isYou just said all your lines at once, cues “never tire.” and all.—Pyramus, enter. You missed your cue. It’s “never get tired.” FLUTE FLUTE 45 Oh. (as thisbe) As true as truest horse thatOh! (as THISBE) As reliable as a horse yet would never tire. that never gets tired. Enter BOTTOM, with an ass’s head, andROBIN enters with BOTTOM, with a ROBIN donkey’s head instead of a human head. BOTTOM BOTTOM

32 (as PYRAMUS) If I were fair, Thisbe, I were(as PYRAMUS) If I were handsome, my only thine. lovely Thisbe, I would still want only you. QUINCE QUINCE Oh, monstrous! Oh, strange! We areHelp! It’s a monster! We’re being haunted. Pray, masters! Fly, masters! Help! haunted. Run, everyone, run! Exeunt QUINCE, FLUTE, SNUG, SNOUT,QUINCE, FLUTE, SNUG, SNOUT, and and STARVELING STARVELING exit. ROBIN ROBIN I’ll follow you. I’ll lead you about a round I’ll follow you. I’ll run you around in Through bog, through bush, through brake,circles, through bogs and bushes and 50 through brier. woods and thorns. Sometimes I’ll take Sometime a horse I’ll be, sometime a hound, the shape of a horse, sometimes I’ll take A hog, a headless bear, sometime a fire. the shape of a hound or a pig or a And neigh, and bark, and grunt, and roar,headless bear. Sometimes I’ll turn into and burn, fire! And I’ll neigh like a horse and bark Like horse, hound, hog, bear, fire, at everylike a hound and grunt like a pig and roar turn. like a bear and burn like a fire at every turn. Exit ROBIN ROBIN exits. BOTTOM BOTTOM Why do they run away? This is a knavery ofWhy are they running away? This is them to make me afeard. some joke of theirs to scare me. Enter SNOUT SNOUT enters. Act 3, Scene 1, Page 6

Original Text Modern Text SNOUT SNOUT 55 O Bottom, thou art changed! What do I seeOh, Bottom, you’ve changed! What have on thee? you got on your head? BOTTOM BOTTOM What do you see? You see an ass head ofWhat do you think I’ve got on my head? your own, do you? You’re acting like an ass, don’t you think? Exit SNOUT SNOUT exits. Enter QUINCE QUINCE enters. QUINCE QUINCE Bless thee, Bottom, bless thee. Thou artGod bless you, Bottom, God bless you. translated. You’ve been changed. Reborn. Exit QUINCE QUINCE exits. BOTTOM BOTTOM I see their knavery: this is to make an ass ofI see what they’re up to. They want to me, to fright me if they could. But I will notmake an ass of me, to scare me if they stir from this place, do what they can. I willcan. But I won’t leave this spot, no walk up and down here and I will sing, thatmatter what they do. I’ll walk up and they shall hear I am not afraid. down and sing a song, so they’ll know (sings) I’m not afraid. The ouzel cock, so black of hue (singing) 33 With orange-tawny bill, The blackbird with its black feathers The throstle with his note so true, And its orange-and-tan beak, The wren with little quill— The thrush with its clear voice, The wren with its small, piping chirp— TITANIA TITANIA 60 (waking) What angel wakes me from my(waking up) What angel is this who’s flowery bed? waking me up from my bed of flowers? BOTTOM BOTTOM (sings) (singing) The finch, the sparrow, and the lark, The finch, the sparrow, and the lark, The plainsong cuckoo gray, The gray cuckoo with his simple song Whose note full many a man doth mark That many men hear And dares not answer “Nay”— But they don’t dare say no to it— Act 3, Scene 1, Page 7

Original Text Modern Text For indeed, who would set his wit to soOf course they don’t say “no”! Who’d foolish a bird? waste his time talking to such a stupid Who would give a bird the lie, though he crybird? Who’d bother to accuse a bird of “cuckoo” never so? lying, even if the bird were telling him that his wife was cheating on him? TITANIA TITANIA I pray thee, gentle mortal, sing again. Please sing again, sweet human. I love 65 Mine ear is much enamored of thy note. to listen to your voice, and I love to look So is mine eye enthrallèd to thy shape. at your body. I know this is the first time And thy fair virtue’s force perforce doth moveI’ve ever seen you, but you’re so me wonderful that I can’t help swearing to On the first view to say, to swear, I love thee. you that I love you. BOTTOM BOTTOM Methinks, mistress, you should have littleI don’t think you’ve got much of a reason 70 reason for that. to love me. But to tell you the truth, And yet, to say the truth, reason and lovereason and love have very little to do keep little company together nowadays. Thewith each other these days. It’s too bad more the pity that some honest neighborssome mutual friend of theirs doesn’t will not make them friends. Nay, I can gleekintroduce them. Ha, ha! No, I’m just upon occasion. kidding. TITANIA TITANIA Thou art as wise as thou art beautiful. You’re as wise as you are beautiful. BOTTOM BOTTOM Not so, neither. But if I had wit enough to getNo, that’s not true. But if I were smart out of this wood, I have enough to serveenough to get out of this forest, I’d be mine own turn. wise enough to satisfy myself. TITANIA TITANIA Out of this wood do not desire to go. Don’t bother wishing you could leave this Thou shalt remain here whether thou wilt orforest, because you’re going to stay here 75 no. whether you want to or not. I’m no I am a spirit of no common rate. ordinary fairy. I rule over the summer, The summer still doth tend upon my state. and I love you. So come with me. I’ll give And I do love thee. Therefore go with me. you fairies as servants, and they’ll bring 34 I’ll give thee fairies to attend on thee. you jewels from the depths of the ocean, 80 And they shall fetch thee jewels from theand sing to you while you sleep on a bed deep, of flowers. And I’ll turn you into a spirit And sing while thou on pressèd flowers dostlike us, so you won’t die as humans do. sleep. —Come here, Peaseblossom, Cobweb, And I will purge thy mortal grossness so Moth, and Mustardseed! That thou shalt like an airy spirit go.— Peaseblossom, Cobweb, Moth, and Mustardseed! Act 3, Scene 1, Page 8

Original Text Modern Text Enter four fairies: PEASEBLOSSOM,Four fairies—PEASEBLOSSOM, COBWEB, MOTH, and MUSTARDSEED COBWEB, MOTH, and MUSTARDSEED—enter. PEASEBLOSSOM PEASEBLOSSOM Ready. Ready. COBWEB COBWEB And I. Me too. MOTH MOTH And I. Me too. MUSTARDSEED MUSTARDSEED And I. And me too. ALL ALL 85 Where shall we go? Where should we go? TITANIA TITANIA Be kind and courteous to this gentleman. Be kind and polite to this gentleman. Hop in his walks and gambol in his eyes. Follow him around. Leap and dance for Feed him with apricoks and dewberries, him. Feed him apricots and blackberries, With purple grapes, green figs, andwith purple grapes, green figs, and 90 mulberries. mulberries. Steal honey from the The honey bags steal from the humble-bees, bumblebees, and make candles out of And for night tapers crop their waxen thighs the bees' wax. Light them with the light And light them at the fiery glowworms' eyes of glowworms, so my love will have light To have my love to bed and to arise. when he goes to bed and wakes up. 95 And pluck the wings from painted butterflies Pluck off colorful butterfly wings, and use To fan the moonbeams from his sleepingthem to fan moonbeams away from his eyes. eyes as he sleeps. Bow to him, fairies, Nod to him, elves, and do him courtesies. and curtsy to him. PEASEBLOSSOM PEASEBLOSSOM Hail, mortal. Hello, mortal! COBWEB COBWEB Hail. Hello! MOTH MOTH Hail. Hello! MUSTARDSEED MUSTARDSEED Hail. Hello!

35 BOTTOM BOTTOM I cry your worships' mercy, heartily.—II beg your pardon, sirs.—Please tell me beseech your worship’s name. your name, sir? Act 3, Scene 1, Page 9

Original Text Modern Text COBWEB COBWEB Cobweb. Cobweb. BOTTOM BOTTOM 100 I shall desire you of more acquaintance,I’d like to get to know you better, Mr. good Master Cobweb. If I cut my finger, I’ll use you Cobweb. If I cut my finger, I shall make boldas a bandage to stop the bleeding.— with you.— And your name, sir? Your name, honest gentleman? PEASEBLOSSOM PEASEBLOSSOM Peaseblossom. Peaseblossom. BOTTOM BOTTOM I pray you, commend me to MistressPlease, give my regards to your mother, Squash, your mother, and to MasterMrs. Peapod, and your father, Mr. Peascod, your father. Good MasterPeapod. Good Mr. Peaseblossom, I’d Peaseblossom, I shall desire you of morelike to get to know you better too.—And acquaintance too.— Your name, I beseechyou, may I ask what your name is, sir? you, sir? MUSTARDSEED MUSTARDSEED 105 Mustardseed. Mustardseed. BOTTOM BOTTOM Good Master Mustardseed, I know yourGood Mr. Mustardseed, I know you very patience well. That same cowardly, giantlikewell. Those cowardly, gigantic sides of ox-beef hath devoured many a gentleman ofbeef have been responsible for many of your house. I promise you your kindred hathyour family members getting eaten as a made my eyes water ere now. I desire youcondiment on beef. I swear to you, of more acquaintance, good Mastermany members of your mustard family Mustardseed. have made my eyes water before. I look forward to getting to know you better, Mr. Mustardseed. TITANIA TITANIA Come, wait upon him. Lead him to myTake good care of him. Take him to my bower. sleeping area. The moon looks sad to The moon methinks looks with a watery eye.me. When she cries, all the little flowers 110 And when she weeps, weeps every littlecry too. They’re sad because someone flower, is prevented from having sex—or is Lamenting some enforcèd chastity. having it against her will. Keep my lover Tie up my love’s tongue. Bring him silently. quiet. Bring him to me in silence. Exeunt They all exit. Act 3, Scene 2

Original Text Modern Text Enter OBERON, King of Fairies, solus OBERON, the Fairy King, enters. 36 OBERON OBERON I wonder if Titania be awaked. I wonder if Titania is awake yet, and if Then, what it was that next came in her eye, she is, I wonder what the first thing she Which she must dote on in extremity. saw was. Whatever it is, she must be completely in love with it now. Enter ROBIN ROBIN enters. Here comes my messenger.—How now,Ah, here comes my messenger.— 5 mad spirit? What’s going on, you crazy spirit? What What night-rule now about this hauntedhavoc have you wreaked in this part of grove? the forest? ROBIN ROBIN My mistress with a monster is in love. My mistress Titania is in love with a Near to her close and consecrated bower, monster. While she was sleeping in her While she was in her dull and sleeping hour, bed of flowers, a group of bumbling A crew of patches, rude mechanicals idiots, rough workmen from Athens, got 10 That work for bread upon Athenian stalls, together nearby to rehearse some play Were met together to rehearse a play they plan to perform on Theseus’s Intended for great Theseus' nuptial day. wedding day. The stupidest one, who The shallowest thick-skin of that barren sort, played Pyramus in their play, finished his Who Pyramus presented in their sport, scene and went to sit in the bushes to 15 Forsook his scene and entered in a brake, wait for his next cue. I took that When I did him at this advantage take, opportunity to stick a donkey’s head on An ass’s nole I fixèd on his head. him. When it was time for him to go back Anon his Thisbe must be answerèd, onstage and talk to his Thisbe, he came And forth my mimic comes. When they himout of the bushes and everyone saw 20 spy, him. His friends ran away as fast as As wild geese that the creeping fowler eye, ducks scatter when they hear a hunter’s Or russet-pated choughs, many in sort, gunshot. One of them was so frightened Rising and cawing at the gun’s report, when he heard my footsteps that he Sever themselves and madly sweep the skyyelled, “Murder!” and called for help from 25 — Athens. They were all so afraid that they So at his sight away his fellows fly; completely lost their common sense. And, at our stamp, here o'er and o'er oneThey started to become scared of falls. inanimate objects, terrified by the thorns and briars that catch at their clothing and pull off their sleeves and hats. I led them on in this frightened, distracted state, and left sweet Act 3, Scene 2, Page 2

Original Text Modern Text He “Murder!” cries and help from AthensPyramus there, transformed into calls. someone with a donkey’s head. At that Their sense thus weak, lost with their fearsexact moment, Titania woke up and thus strong, immediately fell in love with him, an ass. 30 Made senseless things begin to do them wrong. For briers and thorns at their apparel snatch, Some sleeves, some hats—from yielders all things catch. I led them on in this distracted fear 37 And left sweet Pyramus translated there. When in that moment so it came to pass, Titania waked and straightway loved an ass. OBERON OBERON 35 This falls out better than I could devise. This is going even better than I planned. But hast thou yet latched the Athenian’sBut have you put the love juice from the eyes flower on the eyes of that Athenian, as I With the love juice, as I did bid thee do? asked you to do? ROBIN ROBIN I took him sleeping—that is finished too— Yes, I found him when he was asleep— And the Athenian woman by his side, so that’s taken care of too—and the 40 That, when he waked, of force she must beAthenian woman was sleeping near him. eyed. When he woke up, he must have seen her. Enter DEMETRIUS and HERMIA DEMETRIUS and HERMIA enter. OBERON OBERON (aside to ROBIN) Stand close. This is the(speaking so that only ROBIN can hear) same Athenian. Step aside. Here’s the Athenian coming now. ROBIN ROBIN (aside to OBERON) This is the woman, but(speaking so that only OBERON can not this the man. hear) That’s definitely the woman I saw, but it’s not the same man. DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS Oh, why rebuke you him that loves you so? Why are you so rude to someone who Lay breath so bitter on your bitter foe. loves you so much? Save that kind of harsh language for your worst enemy. HERMIA HERMIA 45 Now I but chide, but I should use thee worse.I’m only scolding you now, but I should For thou, I fear, hast given me cause totreat you much worse, because I’m curse. afraid you’ve given me good reason to If thou hast slain Lysander in his sleep, curse you. If you killed Lysander while Being o'er shoes in blood, plunge in thehe was sleeping, then you’re already up deep, to your ankles in blood. You might as And kill me too. well jump right into a bloodbath and kill me, too. Act 3, Scene 2, Page 3

Original Text Modern Text 50 The sun was not so true unto the day He was more faithful to me than the sun As he to me. Would he have stolen away is to the daytime. Would he have snuck From sleeping Hermia? I’ll believe as soon away from me while I was asleep? I’ll This whole Earth may be bored, and that thebelieve that when I believe that there’s a moon hole through the center of the earth, and 55 May through the center creep and sothe moon has passed all the way displease through to the other side. The only Her brother’s noontide with th' Antipodes. possibility is that you’ve murdered him. A It cannot be but thou hast murdered him. murderer should look like you do, so So should a murderer look, so dead, so grim.pale and grim.

38 DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS So should the murdered look, and so shouldThat’s how someone who’s been I, murdered should look, and that’s how I 60 Pierced through the heart with your sternlook. You’ve pierced me through the cruelty. heart with your cruelty, and yet you, the Yet you, the murderer, look as bright, asmurderer, look as bright and clear as a clear, star in the sky. As yonder Venus in her glimmering sphere. HERMIA HERMIA What’s this to my Lysander? Where is he? What does that have to do with my Ah, good Demetrius, wilt thou give him me? Lysander? Where is he? Oh, good Demetrius, will you find him for me? DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS I had rather give his carcass to my hounds. I would rather feed his corpse to my dogs. HERMIA HERMIA 65 Out, dog! Out, cur! Thou drivest me past theGet out, dog! You’ve driven me to my bounds wit’s end. Did you kill him, then? From Of maiden’s patience. Hast thou slain himnow on I won’t even consider you a then? human being. Oh, just tell the truth for Henceforth be never numbered among men! once. tell the truth, if only for my sake.— 70 Oh, once tell true, tell true even for my sakeWould you have even dared to look at — him when he was awake? And did you Durst thou have looked upon him beingkill him while he was sleeping? Oh, how awake, brave of you! A snake could do that as And hast thou killed him sleeping? O braveeasily as you could. A snake did do it, touch! because no snake ever had a more Could not a worm, an adder, do so much? forked, lying tongue than you have. An adder did it, for with doubler tongue Than thine, thou serpent, never adder stung. DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS You spend your passion on a misprisedYou’re getting all worked up over a 75 mood. misunderstanding. I didn’t kill I am not guilty of Lysander’s blood. Lysander. ?As far as I know, he’s not Nor is he dead, for aught that I can tell. even dead. HERMIA HERMIA I pray thee, tell me then that he is well. Then please tell me he’s all right. DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS An if I could, what should I get therefore? If I told you that, what would I get out of it? Act 3, Scene 2, Page 4

Original Text Modern Text HERMIA HERMIA A privilege never to see me more. The privilege of never seeing me again. 80 And from thy hated presence part I so. And now I’m going to leave your See me no more, whether he be dead or no.despised company. You’ll never see me again, whether or not he’s dead. Exit HERMIA HERMIA exits.

39 DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS There is no following her in this fierce vein. I can’t go after her when she’s in a rage Here therefore for a while I will remain. like this. So I’ll stay here for a while. So sorrow’s heaviness doth heavier grow Sadness gets worse when you haven’t 85 For debt that bankrupt sleep doth sorrowhad enough sleep. I’ll try to sleep a little owe, here. ( DEMETRIUS lies down and falls Which now in some slight measure it willasleep) pay, If for his tender here I make some stay. (lies down and sleeps) OBERON OBERON (to ROBIN) What hast thou done? Thou(to ROBIN) What have you done? 90 hast mistaken quite, You’ve made a mistake and put the And laid the love juice on some true love’slove-juice on someone else, someone sight. who was truly in love. Because of your Of thy misprision must perforce ensue mistake someone’s true love must have Some true love turned, and not a falseturned bad, instead of this man’s false turned true. love being turned into a true love. ROBIN ROBIN Then fate o'errules that, one man holdingIn that case, it must be fate. That’s the troth, way of the world. For every man who’s A million fail, confounding oath on oath. faithful to his true love, a million end up running after a different lover. OBERON OBERON 95 About the wood go swifter than the wind, Go around the forest, moving faster And Helena of Athens look thou find— than the wind, and make sure you find All fancy-sick she is and pale of cheer, Helena of Athens.—She’s lovesick, and With sighs of love, that costs the fresh bloodher face is pale from all the sighing dear. she’s been doing, because sighing is 100 By some illusion see thou bring her here. bad for the blood. Bring her here with I’ll charm his eyes against she do appear. some trick or illusion, and I’ll put the charm on his eyes for when she comes. ROBIN ROBIN I go, I go. Look how I go, I go, I go, look at me go—faster than an Swifter than arrow from the Tartar’s bow. arrow from a Tartar’s bow. Exit ROBIN ROBIN exits Act 3, Scene 2, Page 5

Original Text Modern Text OBERON OBERON (squeezing flower juice into DEMETRIUS ’s(putting flower juice on DEMETRIUS ’s eyes) eyelids) 105 Flower of this purple dye, You purple flower, hit by Cupid’s arrow, Hit with Cupid’s archery, sink into the pupils of this man’s eyes. Sink in apple of his eye. When he sees the girl he should love, When his love he doth espy, make her seem as bright to him as the Let her shine as gloriously evening star. Young man, when you 110 As the Venus of the sky. wake up, if she’s nearby, beg her to When thou wakest, if she be by, cure your lovesickness. Beg of her for remedy. 40 Enter ROBIN ROBIN enters. ROBIN ROBIN Captain of our fairy band, Helena is nearby, boss. The young man Helena is here at hand, who I mistook for this one is there too, And the youth, mistook by me, begging her to love him. Should we 115 Pleading for a lover’s fee. watch this ridiculous scene? Lord, what Shall we their fond pageant see? fools these mortals are! Lord, what fools these mortals be! OBERON OBERON Stand aside. The noise they make Step aside. The noise they’re making Will cause Demetrius to awake. will wake up Demetrius. ROBIN ROBIN 120 Then will two at once woo one. Then the two of them will both pursue That must needs be sport alone. one girl. That will be funny enough, and And those things do best please me preposterous situations are my favorite That befall preposterously. thing. Enter LYSANDER and HELENA LYSANDER and HELENA enter. LYSANDER LYSANDER Why should you think that I should woo inWhy do you think I’m making fun of you 125 scorn? when I tell you I love you? People don’t Scorn and derision never come in tears. cry when they’re mocking someone. Act 3, Scene 2, Page 6

Original Text Modern Text Look, when I vow, I weep. And vows soLook, when I swear that I love you, I cry, born, and when someone cries while he’s In their nativity all truth appears. making a promise, he’s usually telling How can these things in me seem scorn tothe truth. How can it seem like I’m you, making fun of you, when my tears prove Bearing the badge of faith to prove themthat I’m sincere? true? HELENA HELENA 130 You do advance your cunning more andYou get trickier and trickier. You’ve more. made the same promises to me and to When truth kills truth, O devilish holy fray! Hermia—they can’t both be true! They These vows are Hermia’s. Will you give hermust both be false. The promises you’re o'er? making to me belong to Hermia. Will 135 Weigh oath with oath, and you will nothingyou abandon her? If you weighed the weigh. promises you made to me against the Your vows to her and me, put in two scales, promises you made to her, they’d come Will even weigh, and both as light as tales. out the same—they both weigh nothing. They’re lies. LYSANDER LYSANDER I had no judgment when to her I swore. I wasn’t thinking clearly when I made those promises to her. HELENA HELENA Nor none, in my mind, now you give herAnd I don’t believe you’re thinking o'er. clearly now, as you break those

41 promises. LYSANDER LYSANDER Demetrius loves her, and he loves not you. Demetrius loves her, and he doesn’t love you. DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS (waking) O Helena, goddess, nymph,(waking up) Oh Helena, you goddess, 140 perfect, divine! you divine and perfect nymph! What can To what, my love, shall I compare thineI compare your eyes to? Crystal isn’t as eyne? clear as they are. Oh, your lips are as Crystal is muddy. Oh, how ripe in show ripe as a pair of tempting cherries Thy lips, those kissing cherries, temptingtouching each other! The pure white of 145 grow! the snow on a mountaintop seems black That pure congealèd white, high Taurus'as a crow’s wing next to the whiteness snow, of your hands. Oh, let me kiss your Fanned with the eastern wind, turns to abeautiful white hand. It’ll make me so crow happy! When thou hold’st up thy hand. Oh, let me kiss This princess of pure white, this seal of bliss! HELENA HELENA O spite! O hell! I see you all are bent Damn it! I see you’re all determined to To set against me for your merriment. gang up on me for a few laughs. If you If you were civil and knew courtesy, had any manners at all, you wouldn’t 150 You would not do me thus much injury. treat me like this. Can’t you just hate Can you not hate me, as I know you do, me, as I know you do? Do you have to But you must join in souls to mock me too? get together to humiliate me too? If you If you were men, as men you are in show, were real men, as you pretend to be, You would not use a gentle lady so you wouldn’t treat a lady this way, making vows and promises and praising my beauty when I know you’re really both disgusted by me. You’re competing for Act 3, Scene 2, Page 7

Original Text Modern Text 155 To vow, and swear, and superpraise myHermia’s love, and now you’re parts, competing to see which one of you can When I am sure you hate me with yourmake fun of me the most. That’s a great hearts. idea, a really manly thing to do—making You both are rivals, and love Hermia, a poor girl cry! No respectable person 160 And now both rivals to mock Helena— would offend an innocent girl just to A trim exploit, a manly enterprise, have some fun. To conjure tears up in a poor maid’s eyes With your derision! None of noble sort Would so offend a virgin, and extort A poor soul’s patience, all to make you sport. LYSANDER LYSANDER You are unkind, Demetrius. Be not so. Don’t be cruel, Demetrius. I know you

42 165 For you love Hermia. This you know I know. love Hermia, and you know I know it. And here, with all good will, with all myRight here, right now, I swear I’m giving heart, up all my claims on her and handing her In Hermia’s love I yield you up my part. to you. In exchange, give up your claim And yours of Helena to me bequeath, to love Helena, since I love her and will Whom I do love and will do till my death. love her until I die. HELENA HELENA 170 Never did mockers waste more idle breath. Nobody’s ever gone to so much trouble just to make fun of someone. DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS Lysander, keep thy Hermia. I will none. Lysander, keep your Hermia. I don’t If e'er I loved her, all that love is gone. want her. If I ever loved her, all that love My heart to her but as guest-wiseis gone now. My love for her was sojourned, temporary. Now I’ll love Helena forever. 175 And now to Helen is it home returned, There to remain. LYSANDER LYSANDER Helen, it is not so. Helena, it’s not true. DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS Disparage not the faith thou dost not know, Don’t insult a deep love that you don’t Lest to thy peril thou aby it dear. understand, or you’ll pay the price. Look, where thy love comes. Yonder is thyLook, here comes the woman you love. dear. Enter HERMIA HERMIA enters. HERMIA HERMIA 180 Dark night, that from the eye his functionIt’s hard to see clearly in the dark of takes, night, but it’s easier to hear well. The ear more quick of apprehension makes. Wherein it doth impair the seeing sense, It pays the hearing double recompense. Act 3, Scene 2, Page 8

Original Text Modern Text Thou art not by mine eye, Lysander, found. I couldn’t see you, Lysander, but I heard 185 Mine ear, I thank it, brought me to thy sound your voice, and that’s how I found you. But why unkindly didst thou leave me so? Why did you leave me alone so unkindly? LYSANDER LYSANDER Why should he stay, whom love doth pressWhy stay when love tells you to go? to go? HERMIA HERMIA What love could press Lysander from myBut what love could make my Lysander side? leave me? LYSANDER LYSANDER Lysander’s love, that would not let him bide, I had to hurry to my love, beautiful 190 Fair Helena, who more engilds the night Helena, who lights up the night better Than all yon fiery oes and eyes of light. than all those fiery stars. Why are you Why seek’st thou me? Could not this makelooking for me? Didn’t you figure out

43 thee know that I left you because I hate you? The hate I bear thee made me leave thee so? HERMIA HERMIA You speak not as you think. It cannot be. You can’t mean what you’re saying. It’s impossible. HELENA HELENA 195 Lo, she is one of this confederacy! So, she’s in on this too! Now I see that Now I perceive they have conjoined all threeall three of them have gotten together to To fashion this false sport, in spite of me.— play this cruel trick on me. Hurtful Injurious Hermia! Most ungrateful maid! Hermia, you ungrateful girl, have you Have you conspired, have you with theseconspired with these two to provoke me 200 contrived with this horrible teasing? Have you To bait me with this foul derision? forgotten all the talks we’ve had Is all the counsel that we two have shared, together, the vows we made to be like The sisters' vows, the hours that we havesisters to one another, all the hours we spent spent together, wishing that we never 205 When we have chid the hasty-footed time had to say goodbye—have you For parting us—oh, is it all forgot? forgotten? Our friendship in our All schooldays' friendship, childhoodschooldays, our childhood innocence? innocence? We used to sit together and sew one We, Hermia, like two artificial gods, flower with our two needles, sewing it 210 Have with our needles created both oneon one piece of cloth, sitting on the flower, same cushion, singing one song in the Both on one sampler, sitting on onesame key, as if our hands, our sides, cushion, our voices and our minds were stuck Both warbling of one song, both in one key, together. We grew together like twin As if our hands, our sides, voices, andcherries—which seemed to be separate minds, but were also together—two lovely Had been incorporate. So we grew together,cherries on one stem. Like to a double cherry—seeming parted But yet an union in partition— Two lovely berries molded on one stem; Act 3, Scene 2, Page 9

Original Text Modern Text 215 So, with two seeming bodies but one heart, We seemed to have two separate Two of the first, like coats in heraldry, bodies, but we had one heart. Do you Due but to one and crownèd with one crest. want to destroy our old friendship by And will you rent our ancient love asunder joining these men to insult your poor To join with men in scorning your poorfriend? It’s not friendly, and it’s not 220 friend? ladylike. All women would be angry with It is not friendly, ’tis not maidenly. you for doing it, even though I’m the Our sex, as well as I, may chide you for it, only one who’s hurt by it. Though I alone do feel the injury. HERMIA HERMIA I am amazèd at your passionate words. I’m completely dumbfounded by what I scorn you not. It seems that you scorn me. you’re saying. I’m not insulting you. It sounds more like you’re insulting me. HELENA HELENA

44 225 Have you not set Lysander, as in scorn, Come on, confess. Didn’t you send To follow me and praise my eyes and face? Lysander, as an insult, to follow me And made your other love, Demetrius— around praising my eyes and my face? Who even but now did spurn me with hisHaven’t you made your other love, foot— Demetrius—who kicked me with his foot 230 To call me goddess, nymph, divine, andnot long ago—call me a goddess and a rare, divine, rare, precious, heavenly Precious, celestial? Wherefore speaks hecreature? Why does he talk like that to a this girl he can’t stand? And why does To her he hates? And wherefore dothLysander deny that he loves you, when 235 Lysander he loves you so deeply? Why would he Deny your love, so rich within his soul, show me any affection, unless you told And tender me, forsooth, affection, him to? Why does it matter that I’m not But by your setting on, by your consent? as lucky or lovable as you are and that What though I be not so in grace as you— the love I feel is unrequited? You should So hung upon with love, so fortunate— pity me for that reason, not hate me. But miserable most, to love unloved? This you should pity rather than despise. HERMIA HERMIA I understand not what you mean by this. I don’t know what you’re talking about. HELENA HELENA 240 Ay, do. Persever, counterfeit sad looks, Oh, fine. All right, go ahead, keep up Make mouths upon me when I turn my back,your little game, pretend to be Wink each at other, hold the sweet jest up— sympathetic, but then nudge each other This sport, well carried, shall be chronicled. and wink and make faces at me when I turn my back. Keep up your wonderful game. You’re doing such a good job on this trick, someone should write a book about it. Act 3, Scene 2, Page 10

Original Text Modern Text If you have any pity, grace, or manners, If you had any sense of pity, or 245 You would not make me such an argument. manners, you wouldn’t pretend to fight But fare ye well. 'Tis partly my own fault, over me like this. But goodbye. It’s Which death or absence soon shall remedy. partly my own fault, since I followed you here. Leaving—or dying—will soon take care of everything. LYSANDER LYSANDER Stay, gentle Helena. Hear my excuse. Stay, lovely Helena. Listen to my My love, my life, my soul, fair Helena! excuse. My love, my life, my soul, beautiful Helena! HELENA HELENA 250 Oh, excellent! That’s a good one. HERMIA HERMIA (to LYSANDER) (to LYSANDER) Don’t insult her like Sweet, do not scorn her so. that, Lysander darling. DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS If she cannot entreat, I can compel. (to LYSANDER) If Hermia’s begging

45 can’t make you stop insulting Helena, I can force you to do so. LYSANDER LYSANDER Thou canst compel no more than sheYou can’t force me any more than entreat. Hermia can beg me. Your threats are no 255 Thy threats have no more strength than herstronger than her whining.—Helena, I weak prayers.— love you. I swear I do. I’ll give my life for Helen, I love thee. By my life, I do. you, just to prove this guy wrong when I swear by that which I will lose for thee he says I don’t love you. To prove him false that says I love thee not. DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS I say I love thee more than he can do. I say that I love you more than he does. LYSANDER LYSANDER If thou say so, withdraw and prove it too. If that’s what you say, go fight a duel with me and prove it. DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS 260 Quick, come. You’re on. Let’s do it. HERMIA HERMIA Lysander, whereto tends all this? Lysander, where are you going with all this? (holds LYSANDER back) (she holds LYSANDER back) LYSANDER LYSANDER (to HERMIA)Away, you Ethiope! (to HERMIA) Get away, you African! DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS (to HERMIA) (to HERMIA) No, no. He’ll act like he’s No, no. He’ll going to break free from you, Hermia. Seem to break loose. Act 3, Scene 2, Page 11

Original Text Modern Text (to LYSANDER) (to LYSANDER) Pretend like you’re Take on as you would follow, going to follow me, but then don’t come. 265 But yet come not. You are a tame man, go! You’re a coward, get out of here! LYSANDER LYSANDER (to HERMIA) Hang off, thou cat, thou burr!(to HERMIA) Stop hanging on me, you Vile thing, let loose cat, you thorn. Let go of me, or I’ll shake Or I will shake thee from me like a serpent. you off like a snake. HERMIA HERMIA Why are you grown so rude? What changeWhy have you gotten so rude? What’s is this, happened to you, my darling? Sweet love? LYSANDER LYSANDER Thy love? Out, tawny Tartar, out! Your darling? Get out, you dark-skinned 270 Out, loathèd medicine! O hated potion,gypsy! Get out, you horrible poison. Get hence! out! HERMIA HERMIA Do you not jest? Are you joking? 46 HELENA HELENA Yes, sooth, and so do you. Of course he is, and so are you. LYSANDER LYSANDER Demetrius, I will keep my word with thee. Demetrius, I’m ready to fight you as promised. DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS I would I had your bond, for I perceive I wish we had a signed legal contract. I A weak bond holds you. I’ll not trust yourcan see you don’t keep your promises word. very well. I don’t trust you. LYSANDER LYSANDER 275 What, should I hurt her, strike her, kill herWhat? Do you want me to hit Hermia, dead? hurt her, kill her? Sure, I hate her, but I Although I hate her, I’ll not harm her so. wouldn’t hurt her. HERMIA HERMIA (to LYSANDER) (to LYSANDER) Can you hurt me any What, can you do me greater harm thanmore than by saying you hate me? Hate hate? me? Why? What’s happened to you, my 280 Hate me? Wherefore? O me! What news,love? Am I not Hermia? Aren’t you my love? Lysander? I’m as beautiful now as I was Am not I Hermia? Are not you Lysander? a little while ago. You still loved me I am as fair now as I was erewhile. when we fell asleep, but when you woke Since night you loved me. Yet since nightup you left me. So you left me—Oh, you left me. God help me!—For real? Why then, you left me—Oh, the gods forbid! — In earnest, shall I say? LYSANDER LYSANDER Ay, by my life, I certainly did, and I never wanted to 285 And never did desire to see thee more. see you again. So stop hoping and Therefore be out of hope, of question, ofwondering what I mean. doubt. Act 3, Scene 2, Page 12

Original Text Modern Text Be certain, nothing truer. 'Tis no jest I’ve spelled it out for you clearly. It’s no That I do hate thee and love Helena. joke. I hate you and love Helena. HERMIA HERMIA O me! Oh, no! (to HELENA) You trickster, you 290 (to HELENA) You juggler! You canker-snake! You thief! What, did you sneak in blossom! at night and steal my love’s heart from You thief of love! What, have you come byhim? night And stol'n my love’s heart from him? HELENA HELENA Fine, i' faith! Oh, that’s very nice! You ought to be Have you no modesty, no maiden shame, ashamed of yourself! You’re going to No touch of bashfulness? What, will youmake me mad enough to answer you? 295 tear Damn you, you faker, you puppet! Impatient answers from my gentle tongue?

47 Fie, fie! You counterfeit, you puppet, you! HERMIA HERMIA “Puppet”? Why so?—Ay, that way goes the“ Puppet”? Why “puppet”?—Oh, I see game. where this is going. She’s talking about Now I perceive that she hath made compareour difference in height. She’s paraded 300 Between our statures. She hath urged herin front of him to show off how tall she height, is. She won him over with her height.— And with her personage, her tall personage, Does he have such a high opinion of Her height, forsooth, she hath prevailed withyou because I’m so short? Is that it? So him.— how short am I, you painted barber 305 And are you grown so high in his esteem pole? Tell me. How short am I? I’m not Because I am so dwarfish and so low? too short to gouge your eyes out with How low am I, thou painted maypole?my fingernails. Speak. How low am I? I am not yet so low But that my nails can reach unto thine eyes. HELENA HELENA (to LYSANDER and DEMETRIUS) (to LYSANDER and DEMETRIUS) I pray you, though you mock me,Please don’t let her hurt me, gentlemen, gentlemen, however much you want to tease me. I 310 Let her not hurt me. I was never cursed. never was much good with insults. I’m I have no gift at all in shrewishness. not mean and catty like her. I’m a nice I am a right maid for my cowardice. shy girl. Please don’t let her hit me. Let her not strike me. You perhaps mayMaybe you think that because she’s think, shorter than me I can take her. Because she is something lower than myself, That I can match her. Act 3, Scene 2, Page 13

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HERMIA HERMIA “Lower”? Hark, again! “Shorter!” See, she’s doing it again! HELENA HELENA 315 Good Hermia, do not be so bitter with me. Good Hermia, please don’t act so bitter I evermore did love you, Hermia, toward me. I always loved you, Hermia, Did ever keep your counsels, neverand gave you advice. I never did wronged you— anything to hurt you—except once, Save that, in love unto Demetrius, when I told Demetrius that you planned 320 I told him of your stealth unto this wood. to sneak off into this forest. And I only He followed you. For love I followed him. did that because I loved Demetrius so But he hath chid me hence and threatenedmuch. He followed you. And I followed me him because I loved him. But he told me To strike me, spurn me—nay, to kill me too. to get lost and threatened to hit me, kick 325 And now, so you will let me quiet go, me—even kill me. Now just let me go To Athens will I bear my folly back quietly back to Athens. I’ll carry my And follow you no further. Let me go. mistakes back with me. I won’t follow You see how simple and how fond I am. you anymore. Please let me go. You see how naïve and foolish I’ve been. HERMIA HERMIA

48 Why, get you gone! Who is ’t that hindersWell, get out of here then! What’s you? keeping you? HELENA HELENA A foolish heart, that I leave here behind. My stupid heart, which I’m leaving behind here. HERMIA HERMIA What, with Lysander? What, you’re leaving it with Lysander? HELENA HELENA With Demetrius. No, with Demetrius. LYSANDER LYSANDER 330 Be not afraid. She shall not harm thee,Don’t be afraid. She can’t hurt you, Helena. Helena. DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS (to LYSANDER) (to LYSANDER) That’s right, Hermia No, sir, she shall not, though you take herwon’t hurt Helena even if you try to help part. her. HELENA HELENA Oh, when she’s angry, she is keen andOh, when you get her angry, she’s a shrewd! good fighter, and vicious too. She was a 335 She was a vixen when she went to school. hellcat in school. And she’s fierce, even And though she be but little, she is fierce. though she’s little. HERMIA HERMIA “Little” again? Nothing but “low” and “little”!“ Little” again? Nothing but “little” and — “short”!— Why are you letting her insult Why will you suffer her to flout me thus? me like this? Let me at her!. Let me come to her. Act 3, Scene 2, Page 14

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LYSANDER LYSANDER (to HERMIA)Get you gone, you dwarf, (to HERMIA) Get lost, you dwarf, you 340 You minimus of hindering knotgrass made, tiny little weed, you scrap, you acorn! You bead, you acorn! DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS You are too officious You’re doing too much to defend a In her behalf that scorns your services. woman who wants nothing to do with Let her alone. Speak not of Helena. you. Leave Hermia alone. Don’t talk Take not her part. For if thou dost intend about Helena. Don’t take Helena’s side. 345 Never so little show of love to her, If you continue treating Hermia so Thou shalt aby it. badly, you’ll pay for it. LYSANDER LYSANDER Now she holds me not. Hermia’s not holding onto me anymore. Now follow, if thou darest, to try whose right,Follow me if you’re brave enough, and Of thine or mine, is most in Helena. we’ll fight over Helena. DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS “ Follow”? Nay, I’ll go with thee, cheek by“Follow”? No, I’ll walk right next to you, jowl. side by side.

49 Exeunt LYSANDER and DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS and LYSANDER exit. HERMIA HERMIA 350 You, mistress, all this coil is long of you. All this fighting is because of you. Stay Nay, go not back. where you are. HELENA HELENA I will not trust you, I, I’m not sticking around here any more. I Nor longer stay in your curst company. don’t trust you. You might be a better Your hands than mine are quicker for a fray. fighter than I am, but my legs are longer My legs are longer though, to run away. and I can run away faster. Exit HELENA HELENA exits. HERMIA HERMIA 355 I am amazed and know not what to say. I just can’t believe any of this. I don’t know what to say. Exit HERMIA HERMIA exits. OBERON OBERON (to ROBIN) This is thy negligence. Still thou(to ROBIN) This is all your fault. You mistakest, make mistakes constantly, or else you Or else committ’st thy knaveries willfully. cause this kind of trouble on purpose. Act 3, Scene 2, Page 15

Original Text Modern Text ROBIN ROBIN Believe me, King of Shadows, I mistook. Believe me, King of Illusions, I made a Did not you tell me I should know the man mistake. Didn’t you tell me that I’d be 360 By the Athenian garment he had on? able to recognize the man by the And so far blameless proves my enterprise, Athenian clothes he was wearing? So That I have 'nointed an Athenian’s eyes. far I’ve done exactly what I was And so far am I glad it so did sort, supposed to do—I put the love potion As this their jangling I esteem a sport. on an Athenian’s eyes. And so far I’m pleased with the way things have turned out, since I find all of this commotion very entertaining. OBERON OBERON 365 Thou seest these lovers seek a place toAs you can see, these lovers are fight. looking for a place to fight. Hurry up, Hie therefore, Robin, overcast the night. Robin, and make the night dark and The starry welkin cover thou anon cloudy. Cover the sky with a low- With drooping fog as black as Acheron, hanging fog, as dark as hell, and get 370 And lead these testy rivals so astray these overeager rivals so completely As one come not within another’s way. lost in the woods that they can’t run into Like to Lysander sometime frame thyeach other. Imitate Lysander’s voice tongue, and egg Demetrius on with insults. Then Then stir Demetrius up with bitter wrong. rant for a while in Demetrius’s voice, 375 And sometime rail thou like Demetrius. and egg Lysander on. That way you’ll And from each other look thou lead themget them away from each other until thus, they’re so exhausted that they’ll sleep Till o'er their brows death-counterfeitinglike the dead. ( OBERON gives a new sleep flower to ROBIN) When they’re asleep, 380 With leaden legs and batty wings dothcrush some of this flower’s juice into

50 creep. Lysander’s eyes. The flower’s juice has (gives ROBIN another flower) the power to erase all the damage that’s Then crush this herb into Lysander’s eye, been done to his eyes, and to make him Whose liquor hath this virtuous property see normally, the way he used to. When 385 To take from thence all error with his might they wake up, all this trouble and And make his eyeballs roll with wontedconflict will seem like a dream or a sight. meaningless vision. Then the lovers will When they next wake, all this derision go back to Athens, united together until Shall seem a dream and fruitless vision. death. While you’re busy with that, I’ll go And back to Athens shall the lovers wend, see Queen Titania and ask her once With league whose date till death shallagain for the Indian boy. And then I’ll never end. undo the spell that I cast over her, so Whiles I in this affair do thee employ, she won’t be in love with that monster I’ll to my queen and beg her Indian boy. anymore. Then everything will be And then I will her charmèd eye release peaceful again. From monster’s view, and all things shall be peace. Act 3, Scene 2, Page 16

Original Text Modern Text ROBIN ROBIN 390 My fairy lord, this must be done with haste. We’ve got to act fast, my lord of the For night’s swift dragons cut the clouds fullfairies. Night’s fading quickly, and in the fast, distance the morning star is shining, And yonder shines Aurora’s harbinger, warning us that dawn is coming. At At whose approach, ghosts, wandering heredawn, the ghosts that have been 395 and there, wandering around all night go home to Troop home to churchyards. Damnèd spiritsthe graveyards. The souls of people all, who weren’t buried in holy ground, but That in crossways and floods have burial, instead lie rotting by the side of the road Already to their wormy beds are gone. or at the bottom of a river, have already For fear lest day should look their shamesgone back to their wormy graves. They upon, weren’t buried in a real graveyard They willfully themselves exile from light because they committed suicide, and And must for aye consort with black-browedthey don’t want their shame to be seen night. in daylight, so they avoid sunlight and stay forever in the darkness of night. OBERON OBERON 400 But we are spirits of another sort. But we’re not like that. We’re a different I with the morning’s love have oft madekind of spirit, and we don’t have to run sport, away from the sunlight. I like the And like a forester the groves may tread morning. I often wander around in the Even till the eastern gate, all fiery red, woods like a forest ranger until the sun 405 Opening on Neptune with fair blessèdrises in the fiery red sky over the ocean, beams, turning the salty green water to gold. Turns into yellow gold his salt greenBut you should hurry anyway. Don’t streams. delay. We still have time to get all of this But notwithstanding, haste. Make no delay. done before daybreak. We may effect this business yet ere day. Exit OBERON OBERON exits. ROBIN ROBIN 51 Up and down, up and down, Up and down, up and down, I will lead them up and down. I will lead them up and down. I am feared in field and town. The people fear me in the country and Goblin, lead them up and down. the town. Here comes one. Goblin, lead them up and down. Here comes one of them now. Enter LYSANDER LYSANDER enters. LYSANDER LYSANDER Where art thou, proud Demetrius? SpeakWhere are you, Demetrius, you arrogant thou now. bastard? Say something. Act 3, Scene 2, Page 17

Original Text Modern Text ROBIN ROBIN 410 (as DEMETRIUS) (in DEMETRIUS’s voice) I’m over here, Here, villain. Drawn and ready. Where artyou villain, with my sword out and ready thou? to fight. Where are you? LYSANDER LYSANDER I will be with thee straight. I’m coming. ROBIN ROBIN (as DEMETRIUS)Follow me then (in DEMETRIUS’s voice) Let’s go to a To plainer ground. flatter area where we can fight more easily. Exit LYSANDER LYSANDER exits. Enter DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS enters. DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS Lysander, speak again! Lysander, say something! You coward, 415 Thou runaway, thou coward, art thou fled? did you run away from me? Say Speak! In some bush? Where dost thousomething! Are you behind some bush? hide thy head? Where are you hiding? ROBIN ROBIN (as LYSANDER) Thou coward, art thou(in LYSANDER’s voice) You coward, bragging to the stars, are you bragging to the stars and telling Telling the bushes that thou look’st for wars, the bushes that you want a fight, but 420 And wilt not come? Come, recreant. Come,then you won’t come and fight me? thou child! Come here, you coward! Come here, I’ll whip thee with a rod. He is defiled you child! I’ll beat you with a stick. It That draws a sword on thee. would be shameful to fight you with a sword, the way I would fight with a real man. DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS Yea, art thou there? Are you there? ROBIN ROBIN (as LYSANDER) (in LYSANDER’s voice) Follow my Follow my voice. We’ll try no manhood here. voice. This isn’t a good place to fight. Exeunt They exit. Enter LYSANDER LYSANDER enters. 52 LYSANDER LYSANDER He goes before me and still dares me on. He’s walking ahead of me, and he 425 When I come where he calls, then he iskeeps daring me to follow him. When I gone. reach the place he’s calling from, he The villain is much lighter-heeled than I. disappears. This villain is much quicker I followed fast, but faster he did fly, than I am. I ran after him fast, but he ran That fallen am I in dark uneven way, away from me faster, so that now here I am in some dark part of the forest where the ground is uneven. Act 3, Scene 2, Page 18

Original Text Modern Text And here will rest me. I’ll rest here. (he lies down) I hope the 430 (lies down) pleasant daytime comes soon! As soon Come, thou gentle day! as the gray light of early morning For if but once thou show me thy grey light, appears, I’ll find Demetrius and get my I’ll find Demetrius and revenge this spite. revenge for this insult. (sleeps) Enter ROBIN and DEMETRIUS LYSANDER lies down and falls asleep. ROBIN and DEMETRIUS enter. ROBIN ROBIN (as LYSANDER to DEMETRIUS) (in LYSANDER’s voice) Ha, ha, ha! 435 Ho, ho, ho! Coward, why comest thou not? Hey, You coward, why aren’t you coming? DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS Abide me, if thou darest! For well I wot Wait for me, if you’re not too scared! I Thou runn’st before me, shifting everyknow that’s why you’re running away place, from me, constantly changing places— And darest not stand nor look me in theyou’re afraid to stand still and wait for face. me. You’re scared to look me in the Where art thou now? eye. Where are you now? ROBIN ROBIN 440 (as LYSANDER)Come hither. I am here. (in LYSANDER’s voice) Come here. I’m over here. DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS Nay, then, thou mock’st me. Thou shalt buyNo, you’re just taunting me. You’ll pay this dear for this if I ever see you face-to-face in If ever I thy face by daylight see. the daylight. Go wherever you want. I’m Now go thy way. Faintness constraineth me exhausted; I need to lie down and sleep 445 To measure out my length on this cold bed. on this cold ground. But watch out. I’ll By day’s approach look to be visited. find you at dawn. (DEMETRIUS lies (lies down and sleeps) down and sleeps) Enter HELENA HELENA enters. HELENA HELENA O weary night, O long and tedious night, Oh, what a long, tedious, exhausting Abate thy hours. Shine comforts from thenight! I wish it would end. I wish the east, comforting light of day would shine so I 450 That I may back to Athens by daylight can go back to Athens and get away From these that my poor company detest. from these people who hate me so

53 And sleep, that sometimes shuts upmuch. I hope I’ll be able to sleep and sorrow’s eye, escape my troubles for a while. People Steal me awhile from mine own company. can sometimes forget their difficulties (lies down and sleeps) when they’re asleep. (HELENA lies down and sleeps) Act 3, Scene 2, Page 19

Original Text Modern Text ROBIN ROBIN Yet but three? Come one more. Only three so far? We’re still waiting for Two of both kinds make up four. one more. Two of both kinds makes Here she comes, cursed and sad. four. Ah, here she comes, angry and Cupid is a knavish lad sad. Cupid is a bad boy for making poor Thus to make poor females mad. women go crazy like this. Enter HERMIA HERMIA enters. HERMIA HERMIA Never so weary, never so in woe, I’ve never been more exhausted or 455 Bedabbled with the dew and torn with briers,upset. I’m all wet from the dew and I can no further crawl, no further go. scratched up by thorns, and I can’t My legs can keep no pace with my desires. crawl any farther. I just can’t go on. My Here will I rest me till the break of day. legs can’t hold themselves up. I’ll sleep Heavens shield Lysander if they mean ahere until morning. If they do fight, I 460 fray! hope Lysander is safe! (HERMIA lies (lies down and sleeps) down and sleeps) ROBIN ROBIN On the ground Sleep well there on the ground. I’ll cure Sleep sound. you, gentle lover, by putting this I’ll apply medicine on your eyes. (ROBIN puts To your eye. the nectar of the flower on Gentle lover, remedy. LYSANDER’s eyelids) When you wake (squeezes flower juice into LYSANDER ’syou will be truly delighted to see the eyes) woman you once loved. And when you When thou wakest, wake up, you’ll be a walking illustration Thou takest of the well-known country proverb. True delight “Jack will have Jill and everything will be In the sight all right.” Of thy former lady’s eye. And the country proverb known— That every man should take his own— In your waking shall be shown. Jack shall have Jill. Nought shall go ill. The man shall have his mare again, and all shall be well. Exit ROBIN ROBIN exits. Act 4, Scene 1

Original Text Modern Text

LYSANDER, DEMETRIUS, HELENA, andDEMETRIUS, HELENA, HERMIA, and

54 HERMIA sleep. Enter TITANIA, Queen ofLYSANDER are still sleeping on the the Fairies; and BOTTOM, with the ass’sstage. TITANIA enters with BOTTOM, head; and fairies PEASEBLOSSOM,who still has a donkey’s head, and the COBWEB, MOTH, MUSTARDSEED;fairies PEASEBLOSSOM, COBWEB, OBERON the king behind them, unseen MOTH, and MUSTARDSEED. OBERON enters behind them, unseen by those onstage. TITANIA TITANIA (to BOTTOM) Come, sit thee down upon this(to BOTTOM) Come over here and sit flowery bed down on this flowery bed while I caress While I thy amiable cheeks do coy, those lovable cheeks. I’ll put roses on And stick musk roses in thy sleek, smoothyour silky, smooth head and kiss your head, big, beautiful ears, my gentle darling. And kiss thy fair large ears, my gentle joy. BOTTOM BOTTOM 5 Where’s Peaseblossom? Where’s Peaseblossom? PEASEBLOSSOM PEASEBLOSSOM Ready. Here. BOTTOM BOTTOM Scratch my head, Peaseblossom. Where’sScratch my head, Peaseblossom. Monsieur Cobweb? Where’s Monsieur Cobweb? COBWEB COBWEB Ready. Here. BOTTOM BOTTOM Monsieur Cobweb, good monsieur, get youMonsieur Cobweb, sir, get out your your weapons in your hand and kill me a red-weapons and kill me a striped hipped humble-bee on the top of a thistle.bumblebee on a thistle, and bring me its And, good monsieur, bring me the honeyhoney. Don’t tire yourself out, monsieur. bag. Do not fret yourself too much in theOh, and monsieur, be careful not to action, monsieur. And good monsieur, havebreak the honey-sac. I’d hate to see you a care the honey bag break not. I would bedrowned in honey, sir. loath to have you overflown with a honey bag, signor. Exit COBWEB COBWEB exits. 10 Where’s Monsieur Mustardseed? Where’s Monsieur Mustardseed? MUSTARDSEED MUSTARDSEED Ready. Here. Act 4, Scene 1

Original Text Modern Text LYSANDER, DEMETRIUS, HELENA, andDEMETRIUS, HELENA, HERMIA, and HERMIA sleep. Enter TITANIA, Queen ofLYSANDER are still sleeping on the the Fairies; and BOTTOM, with the ass’sstage. TITANIA enters with BOTTOM, head; and fairies PEASEBLOSSOM,who still has a donkey’s head, and the COBWEB, MOTH, MUSTARDSEED;fairies PEASEBLOSSOM, COBWEB, OBERON the king behind them, unseen MOTH, and MUSTARDSEED. OBERON enters behind them, unseen by those onstage.

55 TITANIA TITANIA (to BOTTOM) Come, sit thee down upon this(to BOTTOM) Come over here and sit flowery bed down on this flowery bed while I caress While I thy amiable cheeks do coy, those lovable cheeks. I’ll put roses on And stick musk roses in thy sleek, smoothyour silky, smooth head and kiss your head, big, beautiful ears, my gentle darling. And kiss thy fair large ears, my gentle joy. BOTTOM BOTTOM 5 Where’s Peaseblossom? Where’s Peaseblossom? PEASEBLOSSOM PEASEBLOSSOM Ready. Here. BOTTOM BOTTOM Scratch my head, Peaseblossom. Where’sScratch my head, Peaseblossom. Monsieur Cobweb? Where’s Monsieur Cobweb? COBWEB COBWEB Ready. Here. BOTTOM BOTTOM Monsieur Cobweb, good monsieur, get youMonsieur Cobweb, sir, get out your your weapons in your hand and kill me a red-weapons and kill me a striped hipped humble-bee on the top of a thistle.bumblebee on a thistle, and bring me its And, good monsieur, bring me the honeyhoney. Don’t tire yourself out, monsieur. bag. Do not fret yourself too much in theOh, and monsieur, be careful not to action, monsieur. And good monsieur, havebreak the honey-sac. I’d hate to see you a care the honey bag break not. I would bedrowned in honey, sir. loath to have you overflown with a honey bag, signor. Exit COBWEB COBWEB exits. 10 Where’s Monsieur Mustardseed? Where’s Monsieur Mustardseed? MUSTARDSEED MUSTARDSEED Ready. Here. Act 4, Scene 1, Page 2

Original Text Modern Text BOTTOM BOTTOM Give me your neaf, Monsieur Mustardseed.Give me your first, Mr. Mustardseed. Pray you, leave your courtesy, goodPlease, stop bowing, good sir. monsieur. MUSTARDSEED MUSTARDSEED What’s your will? What would you like me to do? BOTTOM BOTTOM 15 Nothing, good monsieur, but to helpNothing, good sir, except to help Sir Cavalery Cobweb to scratch. I must to theCobweb scratch my head. I should go to barber’s, monsieur, for methinks I amthe barber’s, monsieur, because I think marvelous hairy about the face. And I amI’m getting really hairy around the face. such a tender ass, if my hair do but tickleAnd I’m such a sensitive ass that if my me, I must scratch. hair even tickles me a little, I need to scratch.

56 TITANIA TITANIA What, wilt thou hear some music, my sweetWould you like to hear some music, my love? sweet love? BOTTOM BOTTOM I have a reasonable good ear in music. Let’sI have a pretty good ear for music. Let’s have the tongs and the bones. hear someone play the triangle and the sticks. TITANIA TITANIA Or say, sweet love, what thou desirest to eat.Or tell me, my sweet love, what you’d like to eat. BOTTOM BOTTOM Truly, a peck of provender. I could munchActually, I’d like a few pounds of grass. your good dry oats. Methinks I have a greatI’d like to munch on some good dry oats. desire to a bottle of hay. Good hay, sweetOr maybe I’ve got a hankering for a hay, hath no fellow. bundle of hay. There’s nothing like good hay, really sweet hay. TITANIA TITANIA 20 I have a venturous fairy that shall seek I have an adventurous fairy who’ll go The squirrel’s hoard and fetch thee newseek out the squirrel’s secret stash and nuts. get you some fresh nuts. BOTTOM BOTTOM I had rather have a handful or two of driedI’d rather have a handful or two of dried peas. But, I pray you, let none of your peoplepeas. But please don’t let any of your stir me. I have an exposition of sleep comepeople wake me up. I really want to upon me. sleep now. TITANIA TITANIA Sleep thou, and I will wind thee in my arms. Go to sleep, and I will wrap my arms Fairies, be gone, and be all ways away. around you. Fairies, go away. Run off in all directions. Exeunt FAIRIES The FAIRIES exit. Act 4, Scene 1, Page 3

Original Text Modern Text 25 So doth the woodbine the sweetI’m putting my arms around you just like honeysuckle the woodbine tendril gently twists itself Gently entwist. The female ivy so around the sweet honeysuckle, and like Enrings the barky fingers of the elm. the female ivy curls itself around the Oh, how I love thee! How I dote on thee! branches of the elm tree. Oh, how I love you! I’m so crazy about you! TITANIA and BOTTOM sleep BOTTOM and TITANIA sleep. ROBIN enters. Enter ROBIN OBERON OBERON Welcome, good Robin. Seest thou this sweetWelcome, good Robin. Do you see this 30 sight? sweet sight? Now I’m starting to pity Her dotage now I do begin to pity. Titania for being so infatuated. I ran into For, meeting her of late behind the wood, her recently at the edge of the forest,

57 Seeking sweet favors from this hateful fool, looking for sweet presents for this I did upbraid her and fall out with her. hateful idiot, and I scolded her and 35 For she his hairy temples then had rounded argued with her. She had put a wreath of With a coronet of fresh and fragrant flowers, fresh, fragrant flowers around his hairy And that same dew, which sometime on theforehead, and the drops of dew that lay buds in the center of the flowers made the Was wont to swell like round and orientflowers look like they were crying with 40 pearls, shame to be decorating the head of that Stood now within the pretty flowerets' eyes ugly jackass. When I had taunted her as Like tears that did their own disgrace bewail. much as I wanted to, and she begged When I had at my pleasure taunted her me very nicely to leave her alone, I And she in mild terms begged my patience, asked her for the stolen Indian child. She 45 I then did ask of her her changeling child, said yes right away, and sent a fairy to Which straight she gave me and her fairybring him to my home in Fairyland. And sent now that I have the boy, I’ll undo the To bear him to my bower in Fairyland. spell that makes her vision so And now I have the boy, I will undo disgustingly wrong. And, gentle Puck, 50 This hateful imperfection of her eyes. take this transformed ass’s head off of And, gentle Puck, take this transformèdthe head of that Athenian man, so that scalp when he wakes up at the same time as From off the head of this Athenian swain, the rest of them do, they can all go back That, he awaking when the other do, to Athens. They’ll only remember the May all to Athens back again repair events of tonight as a very unpleasant And think no more of this night’s accidents dream. But first I’ll release the fairy But as the fierce vexation of a dream. queen from the spell. But first I will release the fairy queen. (squeezing flower juice into TITANIA’s eyes) (OBERON squeezes the juice from the second flower into TITANIA’s eyes) Act 4, Scene 1, Page 4

Original Text Modern Text Be as thou wast wont to be. Be like you used to be, and see like you 55 See as thou wast wont to see. used to see. This bud belongs to Diana, Dian’s bud o'er Cupid’s flower the goddess of virginity, and it has the Hath such force and blessèd power. power to undo the effects of Cupid’s Now, my Titania, wake you, my sweetflower. Now, Titania, wake up, my sweet queen. queen. TITANIA TITANIA (waking) My Oberon, what visions have I(waking up) Oberon, I’ve had such a 60 seen! strange dream! I dreamed I was in love Methought I was enamored of an ass. with an ass. OBERON OBERON There lies your love. There’s your boyfriend, sleeping right over there. TITANIA TITANIA How came these things to pass? How did this happen? Oh, I hate looking Oh, how mine eyes do loathe his visageat his face now! now! OBERON OBERON Silence awhile.—Robin, take off this head.— Be quiet for a while.—Robin, take off his 58 Titania, music call, and strike more dead donkey head.—Titania, get the fairies to 65 Than common sleep of all these five theplay some music, and make these five sense. people sleep more soundly than humans have ever slept before. TITANIA TITANIA Music, ho! Music such as charmeth sleep! Music! Play the kind of music that puts people to sleep. Music The music plays. ROBIN ROBIN (taking the ass’s head off BOTTOM) (removing the ass’s head from Now when thou wakest, with thine own fool’sBOTTOM) When you wake up, see eyes peep. things with your own foolish eyes again. OBERON OBERON Sound, music!—Come, my queen, takePlay the music.—Take my hands, my 70 hands with me, queen, and we’ll lull these people to And rock the ground whereon these sleeperssleep with our soft dancing. (he dances be. with TITANIA) Now that you and I are (dances with TITANIA) friends again, we can dance for Duke Now thou and I are new in amity, Theseus tomorrow at midnight, and 75 And will tomorrow midnight solemnly bless his marriage and his marriage bed. Dance in Duke Theseus' house triumphantly, These other lovers will get married And bless it to all fair prosperity. alongside him, and they’ll all be in high There shall the pairs of faithful lovers be spirits. Wedded, with Theseus, all in jollity. Act 4, Scene 1, Page 5

Original Text Modern Text ROBIN ROBIN Fairy King, attend, and mark. Listen, Fairy King. I can hear the lark I do hear the morning lark. singing. Morning’s here. OBERON OBERON 80 Then, my queen, in silence sad, In that case, my queen, let’s travel Trip we after the night’s shade. silently and solemnly across the globe We the globe can compass soon to where it’s still night, circling the earth Swifter than the wandering moon. faster than the moon does. TITANIA TITANIA Come, my lord, and in our flight While we’re walking, you can tell me 85 Tell me how it came this night how I ended up sleeping on the ground That I sleeping here was found with these humans last night. With these mortals on the ground. Exeunt OBERON, TITANIA, and ROBIN OBERON, TITANIA, and ROBIN exit. Enter Wind horn within THESEUS and allA hunting horn blows. THESEUS enters his train, EGEUS, and HIPPOLYTA with his servants, EGEUS and HIPPOLYTA. THESEUS THESEUS Go, one of you, find out the forester. One of you go find the forest ranger. For now our observation is performed. Since we’re done with the May Day rites 90 And since we have the vaward of the day, and it’s still so early in the morning, my

59 My love shall hear the music of my hounds. love will have a chance to hear the Uncouple in the western valley. Let them go.beautiful music of my hunting dogs Dispatch, I say, and find the forester. barking as they chase their prey. Unleash the dogs in the western valley. Let them go. Now go find the forest ranger. Exit one of the train A servant exits. We will, fair queen, up to the mountain’s top,My beautiful queen, we’ll go up the 95 And mark the musical confusion mountain and listen to the hounds as Of hounds and echo in conjunction. their barking echoes in the cliffs and sounds like music. HIPPOLYTA HIPPOLYTA I was with Hercules and Cadmus once, I was with the heroes Hercules and When in a wood of Crete they bayed theCadmus once, when their Spartan bear hunting dogs cornered a bear. I’d never 100 With hounds of Sparta. Never did I hear heard such impressive barking before. Such gallant chiding. For, besides the groves, Act 4, Scene 1, Page 6

Original Text Modern Text The skies, the fountains, every region near The forests, the skies, the mountains, Seemed all one mutual cry. I never heard everything around us seemed to echo So musical a discord, such sweet thunder. the barks of the hounds. I’d never heard such raucous music, such pleasant thunder. THESEUS THESEUS My hounds are bred out of the Spartan kind, My dogs are bred from Spartan hounds. 105 So flewed, so sanded, and their heads areThey have the same folds of flesh hung around their mouths, the same sandy- With ears that sweep away the morningcolored fur, and hanging ears that brush dew, the morning dew off the grass. They Crook-kneed, and dew-lapped likehave crooked knees and folds of skin 110 Thessalian bulls, under their necks, just like the Spartan Slow in pursuit, but matched in mouth likehounds. They’re not very fast in the bells, chase, but their barking sounds like Each under each. A cry more tunable bells ringing. Each bark is perfectly in Was never hollaed to, nor cheered withtune with the others, like notes on a horn, scale. No one, anywhere, has ever In Crete, in Sparta, nor in Thessaly. gone hunting with a more musical pack Judge when you hear. of dogs. Judge for yourself when you (sees the four sleeping lovers) hear them. (he sees the four lovers But, soft! What nymphs are these? sleeping) But wait a minute! Who are these women? EGEUS EGEUS My lord, this is my daughter here asleep. My lord, that’s my daughter asleep on 115 And this, Lysander. This Demetrius is. the ground over there, and this is This Helena, old Nedar’s Helena. Lysander here, and this is Demetrius, I wonder of their being here together. and this is Helena, old Nedar’s daughter. I don’t understand why they’re 60 all here together. THESEUS THESEUS No doubt they rose up early to observe They probably woke up early to The rite of May, and hearing our intent celebrate May Day and came here for 120 Came here in grace our solemnity. my celebration when they heard I’d be But speak, Egeus. Is not this the day here. But tell me, Egeus. Isn’t today the That Hermia should give answer of herday when Hermia has to tell us her choice? decision about whether she’ll marry Demetrius? EGEUS EGEUS It is, my lord. It is, my lord. THESEUS THESEUS Go, bid the huntsmen wake them with theirGo tell the hunters to blow their horns horns. and wake them up. Exit one of the train A servant exits. Wind horns and shout within LYSANDER,Someone shouts offstage. Horns are DEMETRIUS, HELENA, and HERMIAblown. LYSANDER, DEMETRIUS, wake and start up HELENA, and HERMIA, wake up. 125 Good morrow, friends. Saint Valentine isGood morning, my friends. Valentine’s past. Day is over. Act 4, Scene 1, Page 7

Original Text Modern Text Begin these woodbirds but to couple now? Are you lovebirds only starting to pair up now? LYSANDER, DEMETRIUS, HELENA, andLYSANDER, DEMETRIUS, HELENA, HERMIA kneel and HERMIA all kneel. LYSANDER LYSANDER Pardon, my lord. Forgive us, my lord. THESEUS THESEUS I pray you all, stand up. Please, all of you, stand up. LYSANDER, DEMETRIUS, HELENA, andLYSANDER, DEMETRIUS, HELENA, HERMIA stand and HERMIA get up. (to LYSANDER and DEMETRIUS) (to LYSANDER and DEMETRIUS) I I know you two are rival enemies. know you two are enemies. Has the 130 How comes this gentle concord in the world, world really become so gentle and That hatred is so far from jealousy peaceful that people who hate each To sleep by hate and fear no enmity? other have started to trust each other and sleep beside each other without being afraid? LYSANDER LYSANDER My lord, I shall reply amazèdly, My lord, what I say may be a little Half sleep, half waking. But as yet, I swear, confused, since I’m half asleep and half 135 I cannot truly say how I came here. awake. I swear, at the moment I really But as I think—for truly would I speak, couldn’t tell you how I ended up here. And now do I bethink me, so it is— But I think—I want to tell you the truth, I came with Hermia hither. Our intent and now that I think about it, I think this 61 Was to be gone from Athens, where weis true—I came here with Hermia. We 140 might, were planning to leave Athens to Without the peril of the Athenian law— escape the Athenian law and— EGEUS EGEUS (to THESEUS) Enough, enough, my lord.(to THESEUS) Enough, enough, my You have enough! lord. You’ve heard enough evidence! I I beg the law, the law, upon his head.— insist that the law punish him—They They would have stol'n away, they would,were going to run away, Demetrius, 145 Demetrius, they were running away to defeat us, Thereby to have defeated you and me, robbing you of your wife and me of my You of your wife and me of my consent, fatherly right to decide who my son-in- Of my consent that she should be your wife. law will be. DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS (to THESEUS) My lord, fair Helen told me of(to THESEUS) My lord, the beautiful their stealth, Helena told me about their secret plan Of this their purpose hither to this wood. to escape into this forest. I was furious 150 And I in fury hither followed them, and followed them here, and the lovely Fair Helena in fancy following me. Helena was so in love with me that she followed me. Act 4, Scene 1, Page 8

Original Text Modern Text But, my good lord, I wot not by what powerI’m not sure how it happened—but — somehow, something made my love for But by some power it is—my love to Hermia,Hermia melt away like snow. My past Melted as the snow, seems to me now love for Hermia now seems like a 155 As the remembrance of an idle gaud memory of some cheap toy I used to Which in my childhood I did dote upon. love as a child. Now the only person I And all the faith, the virtue of my heart, love, and believe in, and want to look at, The object and the pleasure of mine eye, is Helena. I was engaged to her before I Is only Helena. To her, my lord, ever met Hermia. Then I hated her for a 160 Was I betrothed ere I saw Hermia. time, as a sick person hates the food he But like in sickness did I loathe this food. usually loves. But now I have my natural But as in health, come to my natural taste, taste back, like a sick person when he Now I do wish it, love it, long for it, recovers. Now I want Helena, I love her, And will for evermore be true to it. I long for her, and I will always be true to her. THESEUS THESEUS Fair lovers, you are fortunately met. You pretty lovers are lucky you met me 165 Of this discourse we more will hear anon.— here. We’ll talk more about this later.— Egeus, I will overbear your will. Egeus, I’m overriding your wishes. For in the temple by and by with us These couples will be married along These couples shall eternally be knit.— with me and Hippolyta in the temple And, for the morning now is somethinglater today.—And now, since the 170 worn, morning is almost over, we’ll give up on Our purposed hunting shall be set aside. the idea of hunting. Come with us to Away with us to Athens. Three and three, Athens. We three couples will celebrate We’ll hold a feast in great solemnity. with a sumptuous feast. Come, Come, Hippolyta. Hippolyta. Exeunt THESEUS, HIPPOLYTA, EGEUS,THESEUS, HIPPOLYTA, and EGEUS

62 and train exit with their followers. DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS These things seem small andWhat exactly just happened? The 175 undistinguishable, events of last night seem small and Like far-off mountains turnèd into clouds. hard to see clearly, like far-off mountains that look like clouds in the distance. HERMIA HERMIA When everything seems double. Methinks IYes, it’s like my eyes are out of focus, see these things with parted eye, and I’m seeing everything double. HELENA HELENA So methinks. Me too. Act 4, Scene 1, Page 9

Original Text Modern Text And I have found Demetrius like a jewel, I won Demetrius so easily, as if he were Mine own, and not mine own. a precious diamond I just found lying around. It’s mine because I found it, but I feel like someone else could easily come and claim it was hers. DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS Are you sure Are you sure we’re awake? It seems to That we are awake? It seems to me me like we’re still sleeping, still 180 That yet we sleep, we dream. Do not youdreaming. Do you remember seeing the think duke here? Did he tell us to follow him? The duke was here, and bid us follow him? HERMIA HERMIA Yea, and my father. Yes, he did. And my father was here too. HELENA HELENA And Hippolyta. And Hippolyta. LYSANDER LYSANDER And he did bid us follow to the temple. And he told us to follow him to the temple. DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS Why then, we are awake. Let’s follow him Well, then, we’re awake. Let’s follow 185 And by the way let us recount our dreams. him. We can tell one another our dreams along the way. Exeunt LYSANDER, DEMETRIUS,LYSANDER, DEMETRIUS, HELENA, HELENA, and HERMIA and HERMIA exit. BOTTOM BOTTOM (waking) When my cue comes, call me, and(waking up) Tell me when my cue I will answer. My next is “Most faircomes, and I’ll say my line. My next cue Pyramus.” Heigh-ho! Peter Quince? Fluteis “Most handsome Pyramus.” Hey! the bellows-mender? Snout the tinker?Peter Quince? Flute the bellows- Starveling? God’s my life, stol'n hence, andrepairman? Snout the handyman? left me asleep? I have had a most rareStarveling? My God, they’ve all run

63 vision. I have had a dream—past the wit ofaway and left me sleeping here? What a man to say what dream it was. Man is butweird dream I had.—You can’t even an ass if he go about to expound thisdescribe such a weird dream. You’d be dream. Methought I was—there is no manan ass if you even tried to explain it. I can tell what. Methought I was, andthought I was—no, nobody can even methought I had—but man is but a patcheddescribe what I was. I thought I was, I fool if he will offer to say what methought Ithought I had—but a person would be had. The eye of man hath not heard, the earan idiot to try to say what I thought I of man hath not seen, man’s hand is nothad. No eye has ever heard, no ear has able to taste, his tongue to conceive, nor hisever seen, no hand has tasted, or heart to report what my dream was. I will gettongue felt, or heart described what my Peter Quince to write a ballad of this dream. dream was like. I’ll get Peter Quince to write this dream down as a ballad. Act 4, Scene 1, Page 10

Original Text Modern Text It shall be called “Bottom’s Dream” because itI’ll call it “Bottom’s Dream” because it’s so hath no bottom. And I will sing it in the latterdeep that it has no bottom. And I’ll sing it end of a play before the duke. Peradventure,for the duke in the intermission of a play. to make it the more gracious, I shall sing it atOr maybe, to make it even more lovely, her death. I’ll sing it when the heroine dies. Exit BOTTOM exits. Act 4, Scene 2

Original Text Modern Text Enter QUINCE, FLUTE, SNOUT, andQUINCE, FLUTE, SNOUT, and STARVELING STARVELING enter. QUINCE QUINCE Have you sent to Bottom’s house? Is heHave you sent anyone to Bottom’s come home yet? house? Has he come home yet? STARVELING STARVELING He cannot be heard of. Out of doubt he isNo one’s heard from him. I’m sure he’s transported. been kidnapped. FLUTE FLUTE If he come not, then the play is marred. ItIf he doesn’t show up, the play is ruined. goes not forward. Doth it? It won’t go on. Will it? QUINCE QUINCE It is not possible. You have not a man in allNo, it would be impossible. He’s the only Athens able to discharge Pyramus but he. person in Athens who can play Pyramus. FLUTE FLUTE 5 No, he hath simply the best wit of anyDefinitely. He’s quite simply the smartest handicraft man in Athens. working-man in Athens. QUINCE QUINCE Yea, and the best person too. And he is aYes, and the best looking too. And his very paramour for a sweet voice. voice is the paramour of sweetness. FLUTE FLUTE You must say “paragon.” A “paramour” is,You mean “paragon.” A “paramour” is

64 God bless us, a thing of naught. something bad. Enter SNUG SNUG enters. SNUG SNUG Masters, the duke is coming from the temple,The duke’s leaving the temple. Two or and there is two or three lords and ladiesthree more lords and ladies have been more married. If our sport had gone forward,married too. If we’d been able to put on we had all been made men. our play, we would have had it made. FLUTE FLUTE O sweet bully Bottom! Thus hath he lostOh that great, funny guy, Bottom! He sixpence a day during his life. He could notwould have gotten a pension of six pence have ’scaped sixpence a day. An the dukea day for his whole life. Six pence a day had not given him sixpence a day for playingwould’ve been forced on him. I’ll be Pyramus, I’ll be hanged. damned if the duke wouldn’t have given him six pence a day for playing Pyramus. Act 4, Scene 2, Page 2

Original Text Modern Text 10 He would have deserved it. Sixpence a dayAnd he would have deserved it too. in Pyramus, or nothing. Pyramus is worth six pence a day, or it’s worth nothing! Enter BOTTOM BOTTOM enters. BOTTOM BOTTOM Where are these lads? Where are theseWhere are my guys? Where are my hearts? good fellows? QUINCE QUINCE Bottom! O most courageous day! O mostBottom! Oh, how wonderful to see you! happy hour! Oh, what a relief! BOTTOM BOTTOM Masters, I am to discourse wonders—butMy friends, I’ve got some amazing things ask me not what, for if I tell you I am no trueto tell you—but don’t ask me to tell you Athenian. I will tell you everything, right as itwhat. I swear by my Athenian citizenship fell out. that I won’t tell you anything. I’ll tell you everything exactly as it happened. QUINCE QUINCE Let us hear, sweet Bottom. Tell us, Bottom. BOTTOM BOTTOM 15 Not a word of me. All that I will tell you is thatNo, you won’t get a word out of me. All the duke hath dined. Get your apparelI’ll tell you is that the duke has had together, good strings to your beards, newdinner already. Now it’s time to get your ribbons to your pumps. Meet presently at thecostumes together. Find some good palace. Every man look o'er his part. For thestrings for tying on your false beards, short and the long is, our play is preferred. Inand grab new ribbons to decorate your any case, let Thisbe have clean linen. Andshoes. Meet me at the palace as soon let not him that plays the lion pair his nails,as possible. Look over your lines again. for they shall hang out for the lion’s claws.Our play’s going to be performed for the And most dear actors, eat no onions norduke! So make sure Thisbe’s wearing garlic, for we are to utter sweet breath. And Iclean underwear, and make sure do not doubt but to hear them say, “It is awhoever’s playing the lion doesn’t cut his

65 sweet comedy.” No more words. Away, gonails, because he needs them long to away! look like lion’s claws. And no one eat any onions or garlic. If we have sweet- smelling breath, I’m sure they’ll say “it’s a sweet play.” Now no more talking. Get busy, go! Exeunt They all exit. Act 5, Scene 1

Original Text Modern Text Enter THESEUS, HIPPOLYTA, andTHESEUS, HIPPOLYTA, and PHILOSTRATE, with other attendant lords PHILOSTRATE enter, with a number of lords and servants. HIPPOLYTA HIPPOLYTA 'Tis strange, my Theseus, that these loversThese lovers are saying some strange speak of. things, Theseus. THESEUS THESEUS More strange than true. I never may believe Yes, strange—and totally made up too. These antique fables nor these fairy toys. I’ll never believe any of these old Lovers and madmen have such seethinglegends or fairy tales. Lovers and 5 brains, madmen hallucinate about things that Such shaping fantasies, that apprehend sane people just can’t understand. More than cool reason ever comprehends. Lunatics, lovers, and poets all are ruled The lunatic, the lover, and the poet by their overactive imaginations. some Are of imagination all compact. people think they see devils and 10 One sees more devils than vast hell can holdmonsters everywhere—and they’re — lunatics. Lovers are just as crazy, and That is the madman. The lover, all as frantic, think a dark-skinned gypsy is the most Sees Helen’s beauty in a brow of Egypt. gorgeous woman in the world. Poets are The poet’s eye, in fine frenzy rolling, always looking around like they’re 15 Doth glance from heaven to Earth, fromhaving a fit, confusing the mundane with Earth to heaven. the otherworldly, and describing things in And as imagination bodies forth their writing that simply don’t exist. All The forms of things unknown, the poet’s pen these people have such strong Turns them to shapes and gives to airyimaginations that, when they feel happy, 20 nothing they assume a god or some other A local habitation and a name. supernatural being is bringing that Such tricks hath strong imagination, happiness to them. Or if they’re afraid of That if it would but apprehend some joy, something at night, they look at the It comprehends some bringer of that joy. shrubbery and imagine it’s a wild bear! Or in the night, imagining some fear, How easy is a bush supposed a bear! HIPPOLYTA HIPPOLYTA But all the story of the night told over, But the story that these lovers are telling, And all their minds transfigured so together, and the fact that they all saw and heard 25 More witnesseth than fancy’s images exactly the same things, make me think And grows to something of great constancy, there’s more going on here than But, howsoever, strange and admirable. imaginary fantasies. Their story is bizarre and astounding, but it’s solid and consistent.

66 Act 5, Scene 1, Page 2

Original Text Modern Text Enter lovers: LYSANDER, DEMETRIUS,The lovers—LYSANDER, DEMETRIUS, HELENA, and HERMIA HELENA, and HERMIA—enter. THESEUS THESEUS Here come the lovers, full of joy and mirth.— Here come the lovers, laughing happily. Joy, gentle friends! Joy and fresh days of—I wish you joy, my friends! I hope the 30 love days ahead are full of joy for you. Accompany your hearts! LYSANDER LYSANDER More than to us We wish you even more joy, and hope Wait in your royal walks, your board, yourjoy comes to you in your royal walks, at bed! your table, and in your royal bed! THESEUS THESEUS Come now, what masques, what dancesNow, what kind of entertainment do we shall we have have to fill up the long three hours To wear away this long age of three hours between dinner and bedtime? Where is 35 Between our after-supper and bedtime? our entertainment director? What Where is our usual manager of mirth? performances have been prepared? What revels are in hand? Is there no play, Aren’t there any plays for us to enjoy To ease the anguish of a torturing hour? while we wait in torture for bedtime to Call Philostrate. come? Let me see Philostrate. PHILOSTRATE PHILOSTRATE Here, mighty Theseus. Here I am, Theseus. THESEUS THESEUS Say, what abridgement have you for thisTell us what entertainment you’ve 40 evening? prepared for the evening. Which plays, What masque, what music? How shall wewhat music? How will we pass the time beguile without some entertainment? The lazy time if not with some delight? PHILOSTRATE PHILOSTRATE (giving THESEUS a document) (giving THESEUS a piece of paper) There is a brief, how many sports are ripe. Here’s a list of all of the acts that have Make choice of which your highness will seebeen prepared. Choose which one you first. want to see first. THESEUS THESEUS 45 (reads) (reading) “The battle between Hercules “The battle with the Centaurs, to be sung and the Centaurs, to be sung by an By an Athenian eunuch to the harp.” Athenian eunuch, accompanied by a We’ll none of that. That have I told my love, harp.” No, we won’t see that. I’ve already In glory of my kinsman Hercules. told that story to Hippolyta, while “The riot of the tipsy Bacchanals, praising my cousin Hercules. What else? Tearing the Thracian singer in their rage.” “The riot of the drunk Bacchanals who That is an old device, and it was played rip the singer Orpheus to shreds.” That’s When I from Thebes came last a conqueror. an old show, and I saw it the last time I came back from conquering Act 5, Scene 1, Page 3

67 Original Text Modern Text

“ The thrice three Muses mourning for theThebes. “The nine Muses mourning the death death of learning and scholarship.” 50 Of learning, late deceased in beggary.” That’s some sharp, critical satire, and it’s That is some satire, keen and critical, not appropriate for a wedding. “A tedious Not sorting with a nuptial ceremony. short drama about young Pyramus and “A tedious brief scene of young Pyramus his love Thisbe, a very sad and tragic And his love Thisbe. Very tragical mirth.” comedy.” A sad comedy? Short but still “Merry” and “tragical”? “Tedious” and “brief”? tedious? That’s like hot ice and strange That is hot ice and wondrous strange snow. snow. How can this drama be so many How shall we find the concord of thiscontradictory things? discord? PHILOSTRATE PHILOSTRATE 55 A play there is, my lord, some ten wordsIt’s a play about ten words long, which is long, the shortest play I’ve ever heard of. But Which is as brief as I have known a play. in my opinion, it’s about ten words too But by ten words, my lord, it is too long, long. That’s why it’s tedious. In the entire Which makes it tedious. For in all the play play, not one word is well-written, and 60 There is not one word apt, one player fitted. not one of the actors is right for his part. And tragical, my noble lord, it is. It’s tragic because Pyramus kills himself. For Pyramus therein doth kill himself. I have to admit that when I saw his Which, when I saw rehearsed, I mustsuicide during rehearsal, I had tears in confess, my eyes—but they were tears of Made mine eyes water—but more merrylaughter. tears The passion of loud laughter never shed. THESEUS THESEUS 65 What are they that do play it? Who are the actors? PHILOSTRATE PHILOSTRATE Hard-handed men that work in Athens here, Rough workmen from Athens who never Which never labored in their minds till now, spent much time thinking. Now they’ve And now have toiled their unbreathedworn out their out-of-shape brains to put memories on this play for your wedding. With this same play against your nuptial. THESEUS THESEUS 70 And we will hear it. So let’s see it. PHILOSTRATE PHILOSTRATE No, my noble lord. No, my noble lord. This play isn’t right for It is not for you. I have heard it over, you. I’ve seen the whole thing, and it’s And it is nothing, nothing in the world— completely worthless—unless you think Unless you can find sport in their intents, their bad acting and their Extremely stretched and conned with cru 'lmisremembered lines—which they 75 pain memorized so painfully—are funny. To do you service. Act 5, Scene 1, Page 4

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THESEUS THESEUS I will hear that play. I’ll watch this play. Nothing can really be 68 For never anything can be amiss bad when it’s created by simple people When simpleness and duty tender it. who try hard. Come on, bring them in. Go, bring them in.—And take your places,And sit down, ladies. ladies. Exit PHILOSTRATE PHILOSTRATE exits. HIPPOLYTA HIPPOLYTA I love not to see wretchedness o'er charged I don’t like seeing poor people 80 And duty in his service perishing. overburdened or looking bad when they’re trying to do something good. THESEUS THESEUS Why, gentle sweet, you shall see no suchYou won’t see anything like that, thing. sweetheart. HIPPOLYTA HIPPOLYTA He says they can do nothing in this kind. He just said that they’re no good at acting. THESEUS THESEUS The kinder we, to give them thanks forThen we’re even kinder people for nothing. thanking them for something that they’re 85 Our sport shall be to take what they mistake. not good at. We’ll entertain ourselves by And what poor duty cannot do, noble respect accepting their mistakes. When poor Takes it in might, not merit. dutiful people can’t do certain things Where I have come, great clerks havewell, generous people can consider the purposèd effort they put into it rather than the 90 To greet me with premeditated welcomes, effect that they produce. In my travels, Where I have seen them shiver and lookgreat scholars have come up to me, pale, meaning to greet me with well-rehearsed Make periods in the midst of sentences, welcoming speeches, and I have seen Throttle their practiced accent in their fears, them tremble and turn pale, and pause 95 And in conclusion dumbly have broke off, inappropriately in the middle of their Not paying me a welcome. Trust me, sweet, sentences, and botch their well- Out of this silence yet I picked a welcome, rehearsed tones of voice because And in the modesty of fearful duty they’re so nervous, and then break off I read as much as from the rattling tongue abruptly at the end, without actually Of saucy and audacious eloquence. welcoming me. Trust me, my sweet, I Love, therefore, and tongue-tied simplicity figured out that they were trying to In least speak most, to my capacity. welcome me even though they were silent, and that message was as clear from someone who was modest and nervously dutiful as it is from someone who is loud and audacious and eloquent. Therefore, love and tongue-tied simplicity can say the most even when they’re saying the least, in my opinion. Enter PHILOSTRATE PHILOSTRATE enters. Act 5, Scene 1, Page 5

Original Text Modern Text PHILOSTRATE PHILOSTRATE 100 So please your grace, the Prologue isYour grace, the person who is going to

69 addressed. deliver the prologue is ready. THESEUS THESEUS Let him approach. Let him come forward. Enter QUINCE as the PROLOGUE The PROLOGUE (QUINCE) enters. PROLOGUE PROLOGUE (delivered by QUINCE) If we happen to offend you, it’s because If we offend, it is with our good will. we want to. We don’t want you to think That you should think we come not towe came here to offend you, except that 105 offend, we want to offend you with our good But with good will. To show our simple skill, intentions. Our plan to show off our little That is the true beginning of our end. bit of talent will wind up getting us Consider then we come but in despite. executed. Please keep in mind we’re We do not come as minding to contest you, only here out of spite. We don’t come 110 Our true intent is. All for your delight here with the intention of making you We are not here. That you should herehappy. We’re absolutely not here to repent you, delight you. The actors are ready to The actors are at hand, and by their show come out and make you sorry. By You shall know all that you are like to know. watching their show, you’ll find out everything you’re likely to know. THESEUS THESEUS This fellow doth not stand upon points. This guy doesn’t pay much attention to punctuation. LYSANDER LYSANDER He hath rid his prologue like a rough colt.He rode that prologue like a wild horse. He knows not the stop. A good moral, myHe didn’t know how to stop it. The moral lord: it is not enough to speak, but to speakof this story is that it’s not enough to true. speak; you have to speak grammatically. HIPPOLYTA HIPPOLYTA Indeed he hath played on his prologue like aYes, he performed his prologue like a child on a recorder—a sound, but not inchild plays a recorder—he can make government. sounds, but they’re out of control. Act 5, Scene 1, Page 6

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THESEUS THESEUS His speech was like a tangled chain.His speech was like a tangled chain. It Nothing impaired, but all disordered. Who iswent on and on and was a total mess. next? Who’s next? Enter BOTTOM as PYRAMUS, and FLUTEBOTTOM enters as PYRAMUS, with as THISBE, and SNOUT as WALL, andFLUTE as THISBE, SNOUT as WALL, STARVELING as MOONSHINE, andSTARVELING as MOONSHINE, and SNUG as LION SNUG as LION. PROLOGUE PROLOGUE (delivered by QUINCE) (delivered by QUINCE) Ladies and Gentles, perchance you wonder at thisgentlemen, perhaps you are wondering show. what is going on. Well, keep wondering, But wonder on, till truth make all thingsuntil the truth makes everything clear.

70 125 plain. This man is Pyramus, if you want to This man is Pyramus, if you would know. know. This beautiful lady is definitely This beauteous lady Thisbe is certain. Thisbe. This man with the limestone This man, with lime and roughcast, dothand cement is portraying Wall, that present horrible wall that kept these lovers 130 Wall, that vile wall which did these loversapart. They are content to whisper sunder. through Wall’s little hole, the poor souls, And through Wall’s chink, poor souls, theyand no one should be surprised. This are content man, with his lantern, dog, and To whisper. At the which let no man wonder.thornbush, portrays Moonshine, 135 This man, with lanthorn, dog, and bush ofbecause, if you want to know, the lovers thorn, were not ashamed to meet each other Presenteth Moonshine. For, if you will know, by moonshine at Ninus’s tomb in order By moonshine did these lovers think noto carry on their courtship. This grisly scorn beast, which is called “Lion,” scared 140 To meet at Ninus' tomb—there, there toaway, or rather frightened, the faithful woo. Thisbe when she arrived at the meeting This grisly beast, which “Lion” hight byplace at night. As she ran away from name, him, she dropped her cloak, which the The trusty Thisbe, coming first by night, horrible Lion stained with his bloody 145 Did scare away, or rather did affright. mouth. Soon Pyramus comes along, a And, as she fled, her mantle she did fall, tall and handsome young man, and Which Lion vile with bloody mouth did stain. finds his faithful Thisbe’s cloak to be Anon comes Pyramus, sweet youth and tall, dead. At this point, he takes his sword, And finds his trusty Thisbe’s mantle slain. his bloody blameful blade, and bravely Whereat, with blade, with bloody blamefulbreaks open his boiling bloody breast. blade, And Thisbe, hiding in the shade of the He bravely broached his boiling bloodymulberry bushes, took his dagger and breast. killed herself. For the rest of the story, And Thisbe, tarrying in mulberry shade, let Lion, Moonshine, Wall, and the two His dagger drew, and died. For all the rest, lovers talk more about it, since they’re Let Lion, Moonshine, Wall, and lovers twain standing here. At large discourse, while here they do remain. Act 5, Scene 1, Page 7

Original Text Modern Text THESEUS THESEUS I wonder if the lion be to speak. I wonder if the lion’s going to talk. DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS No wonder, my lord. One lion may whenIt wouldn’t surprise me, my lord. If these many asses do. asses can speak, a lion should be able to. Exeunt PROLOGUE, PYRAMUS, THISBE,PROLOGUE, THISBE, LION, and LION, and MOONSHINE MOONSHINE exit. WALL WALL (played by SNOUT) In this same interlude it(played by SNOUT) At this point I, 150 doth befall Snout, play a wall. But not just any wall. That I, one Snout by name, present a wall. I want you to understand that I’m And such a wall, as I would have you think, pretending to be a kind of wall that has That had in it a crannied hole, or chink, a little hole in it. The lovers Pyramus 71 Through which the lovers, Pyramus andand Thisbe often whispered very 155 Thisbe, secretly through that hole. This clay, this Did whisper often very secretly. cement, and this stone that I’m carrying This loam, this roughcast, and this stonearound show that I’m that wall. It’s the doth show truth. And this is the crack, right side That I am that same wall. The truth is so. and left side (points with two fingers), And this the cranny is, right and sinister, through which the frightened lovers will Through which the fearful lovers are tobe whispering. whisper. THESEUS THESEUS Would you desire lime and hair to speakCan you imagine cement and stone better? talking better? DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS 160 It is the wittiest partition that ever I heardIt’s the smartest partition I’ve ever heard discourse, my lord. speak, my lord. Enter PYRAMUS PYRAMUS enters. THESEUS THESEUS Pyramus draws near the wall. Silence! Pyramus is coming up to the wall. Be quiet! PYRAMUS PYRAMUS (played by BOTTOM) (played by BOTTOM) Oh, grim-looking O grim-looked night! O night with hue sonight! Oh, night that is so black in color! 165 black! Oh night, which is always there when it O night, which ever art when day is not! is not day! Oh night! Oh night! So sad, O night, O night! Alack, alack, alack, sad, sad, Act 5, Scene 1, Page 8

Original Text Modern Text I fear my Thisbe’s promise is forgot!— I’m afraid my Thisbe has forgotten her And thou, O Wall, O sweet, O lovely Wall, promise!—And you, oh Wall, oh sweet, That stand’st between her father’s groundoh lovely Wall, you stand between her 170 and mine. father’s property and mine, you Wall, oh Thou Wall, O Wall, O sweet and lovely Wall, Wall, oh sweet and lovely Wall. Show Show me thy chink to blink through withme your hole to stick my eye up against! mine eyne! WALL holds up fingers as chink WALL holds up two fingers Thanks, courteous Wall. Jove shield theeThank you, you’re such a polite wall. well for this! God bless you for doing this. But what’s But what see I? No Thisbe do I see. this I see? I don’t see any Thisbe. Oh 175 O wicked Wall through whom I see no bliss! wicked wall, through which I don’t see Cursed be thy stones for thus deceiving me! any happiness! Damn your stones for disappointing me like this! THESEUS THESEUS The wall, methinks, being sensible, shouldSince the wall is conscious, it should curse again. curse back at him. BOTTOM BOTTOM (out of character) No, in truth, sir, he should(out of character) No, actually, sir, he not. “Deceiving me” is Thisbe’s cue. She isshouldn’t say anything. It’s not his turn,

72 to enter now and I am to spy her through theit’s Thisbe’s. “Disappointing me like this” wall. You shall see, it will fall pat as I toldis Thisbe’s cue. She’s supposed to you. Yonder she comes. enter now, and I’ll see her through the wall. You’ll see, it’ll happen exactly like I say. Here she comes. Enter THISBE THISBE enters. THISBE THISBE (played by FLUTE) (played by FLUTE) Oh wall, you’ve O Wall, full often hast thou heard myoften heard me moaning because you moans, keep me separated from my handsome For parting my fair Pyramus and me! Pyramus! My cherry lips have often 185 My cherry lips have often kissed thy stones, kissed your bricks, which are stuck Thy stones with lime and hair knit up intogether with cement. thee. PYRAMUS PYRAMUS I see a voice. Now will I to the chink, I see a voice! I’ll go to the hole to see if I To spy an I can hear my Thisbe’s face.can hear my Thisbe’s face. Thisbe? Thisbe? THISBE THISBE My love thou art, my love, I think. You are my love, my love, I think Act 5, Scene 1, Page 9

Original Text Modern Text PYRAMUS PYRAMUS Think what thou wilt, I am thy lover’s grace. I’m your love, no matter what you think. 190 And like Limander am I trusty still. And I’m still faithful to you, just like the famous Limander. THISBE THISBE And I like Helen, till the Fates me kill. And I’ll be as faithful to you as Helen of Troy, until the day I die. PYRAMUS PYRAMUS Not Shafalus to Procrus was so true. Not even Shafalus was as faithful to his lover Procrus as I am to you. THISBE THISBE As Shafalus to Procrus, I to you. Me too, I’m as faithful as Shafalus to Procrus. PYRAMUS PYRAMUS Oh, kiss me through the hole of this vileOh, kiss me through the hole in this wall! nasty wall. THISBE THISBE 195 I kiss the wall’s hole, not your lips at all. But I’m only kissing the wall’s hole, not your lips at all. PYRAMUS PYRAMUS Wilt thou at Ninny’s tomb meet meWill you meet me right away at Ninny’s straightway? grave? THISBE THISBE Tide life, tide death, I come without delay. Neither death nor life will stop me from

73 coming. Exeunt PYRAMUS and THISBE PYRAMUS and THISBE exit. WALL WALL Thus have I, Wall, my part dischargèd so. I, Wall, have done my part. Now that I’m And, being done, thus Wall away doth go. done, Wall can go away. Exit WALL WALL exits. Act 5, Scene 1, Page 10

Original Text Modern Text THESEUS THESEUS 200 Now is the mural down between the twoThe lovers should’ve waited around a neighbors. little longer—the wall between them is down now. DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS No remedy, my lord, when walls are soWhat can you do? That’s what happens willful to hear without warning. with talking walls. HIPPOLYTA HIPPOLYTA This is the silliest stuff that ever I heard. This is the silliest thing I’ve ever seen. THESEUS THESEUS The best in this kind are but shadows, andThe best plays are still only illusions, the worst are no worse if imagination amendand the worst are just as good, if you them. just use your imagination to fill them in. HIPPOLYTA HIPPOLYTA It must be your imagination then, and notIn that case it’s your imagination that’s theirs. interesting, not the play. THESEUS THESEUS 205 If we imagine no worse of them than they ofIf we imagine these guys as they themselves, they may pass for excellentimagine themselves, then they’re first- men. Here come two noble beasts in, a manclass actors. Look, here come two noble and a lion. animals, a man and a lion. Enter LION and MOONSHINE LION and MOONSHINE enter. LION LION (played by SNUG) (played by SNUG) You, ladies, whose You, ladies, you whose gentle hearts dogentle hearts make you afraid of the 210 fear smallest monstrous mouse that crawls The smallest monstrous mouse that creepsaround on the floor, might quake and on floor, tremble now when the wild lion roars in May now perchance both quake andhis most violent rage. You should know tremble here, that I, Snug the carpenter, am not a 215 When lion rough in wildest rage doth roar. fierce lion or a lioness, because if I were Then know that I, as Snug the joiner, am a lion and I showed up here to cause A lion fell, nor else no lion’s dam. trouble, I’d be taking my life in my For if I should as lion come in strife hands. Into this place, ’twere pity on my life. THESEUS THESEUS A very gentle beast, of a good conscience. Ah, it’s a sensitive animal, with a good conscience.

74 DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS A very best at a beast, my lord, that e'er IHe’s the best actor I’ve ever seen play a saw. lion. Act 5, Scene 1, Page 11

Original Text Modern Text LYSANDER LYSANDER This lion is a very fox, for his valor. He’s as brave as a fox. THESEUS THESEUS 220 True. And a goose for his discretion. True. And as wise as a goose. DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS Not so, my lord. For his valor cannot carryOh, that’s not true, my lord. He’s not his discretion, and the fox carries the goose. brave enough to be wise. THESEUS THESEUS His discretion, I am sure, cannot carry hisHe’s not wise enough to be brave. valor, for the goose carries not the fox. It isAnyway, he is what he is. Let’s listen to well. Leave it to his discretion, and let usthe moon. listen to the moon. MOONSHINE MOONSHINE (played by STARVELING) This lantern represents the horned This lanthorn doth the hornèd moon presentmoon— — DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS He should have worn the horns on his head. He should have worn the horns on his head. THESEUS THESEUS He is no crescent, and his horns areHe’s not a crescent moon, so his horns invisible within the circumference. must be invisible inside the circle. MOONSHINE MOONSHINE This lanthorn doth the hornèd moonThis lantern represents the moon. I present. myself am playing the man in the moon Myself the man i' th' moon do seem to be— — THESEUS THESEUS This is the greatest error of all the rest. TheWell then, that’s the biggest mistake of man should be put into the lanthorn. How isall. The man should be inside the it else the “man i' th' moon”? lantern. How else is he the “man in the moon”? DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS 235 He dares not come there for the candle. ForHe can’t go in there because of the you see, it is already in snuff. candle. It’s too hot. HIPPOLYTA HIPPOLYTA I am aweary of this moon. Would he wouldI’m tired of this moon. I wish he’d wax or change! wane off the stage. THESEUS THESEUS It appears by his small light of discretion,It seems like he’s waning, but out of that he is in the wane. But yet, in courtesy,politeness we’ll have to wait and see. in all reason, we must stay the time.

75 Act 5, Scene 1, Page 12

Original Text Modern Text LYSANDER LYSANDER Proceed, Moon. Go ahead, Moon. MOONSHINE MOONSHINE All that I have to say is to tell you that theAll I wanted to tell you is that the lantern lanthorn is the moon; I, the man in theis the moon, I’m the man in the moon, moon; this thornbush, my thornbush; andthis thornbush is my thornbush, and this this dog, my dog. dog is my dog. DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS 245 Why, all these should be in the lanthorn, forWell, all of these should be in the all these are in the moon.—But silence!lantern, because they’re all in the moon. Here comes Thisbe. But be quiet, here comes Thisbe. Enter THISBE THISBE enters. THISBE THISBE This is old Ninny’s tomb. Where is my love? This is old Ninny’s tomb. But where is my love? LION LION (roaring) Oh! (roaring) Hey! THISBE runs off, dropping her mantle THISBE runs off, dropping her cloak. DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS Well roared, Lion! Good roaring, Lion! THESEUS THESEUS 250 Well run, Thisbe! Good running, Thisbe! HIPPOLYTA HIPPOLYTA Well shone, Moon!—Truly, the moon shinesGood shining, Moon!—Really, the Moon with a good grace. shines very well. LION bloodies THISBE’s mantle LION shakes THISBE’s cloak around and stains it with blood. THESEUS THESEUS Well moused, Lion! That’s good, Lion! Shake it around like a cat with a mouse. Enter PYRAMUS PYRAMUS enters. Act 5, Scene 1, Page 13

Original Text Modern Text DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS And then came Pyramus. And then Pyramus showed up. Exit LION LION exits. LYSANDER LYSANDER And so the lion vanished. So the lion disappeared. PYRAMUS PYRAMUS 255 Sweet Moon, I thank thee for thy sunnySweet Moon, I thank you for your sunny

76 beams. beams. I thank you, Moon, for shining I thank thee, Moon, for shining now sonow so bright, because by the light of bright. your gracious, golden, glittering gleams, For by thy gracious, golden, glitteringI hope to be able to see my faithful 260 gleams, Thisbe.—But wait. Oh no! But, look, I trust to take of truest Thisbe sight.— poor me, what a terrible tragedy is here! But stay, O spite! Eyes, do you see? How can it be? Oh, But mark, poor knight, dainty duck! Oh, dear! Your cloak so What dreadful dole is here! good, what, stained with blood? Come, 265 Eyes, do you see? terrible Furies, and punish whoever has How can it be? hurt her! Oh, Fate, come and cut the O dainty duck! O dear! thread of my life. Conquer, crush, Thy mantle good, conclude, and kill! What, stained with blood? 270 Approach, ye Furies fell! O Fates, come, come, Cut thread and thrum. Quail, crush, conclude, and quell! THESEUS THESEUS This passion and the death of a dear friendYou could get sad watching this actor’s would go near to make a man look sad. passionate lament—if one of your good friends happened to die right at the same time. HIPPOLYTA HIPPOLYTA Beshrew my heart, but I pity the man. Damned if I don’t feel sorry for him. PYRAMUS PYRAMUS O wherefore, Nature, didst thou lions frame?Oh, Mother Nature, why did you create 275 Since lion vile hath here deflowered mylions? A mean and awful lion has dear, deflowered my darling, who is—no, no, Which is—no, no—which was the fairestwho was the most beautiful lady who dame ever lived, or loved, or liked, or looked. That lived, that loved, that liked, that lookedCome on, tears, pour over me! Come 280 with cheer. on out, sword, and wound Pyramus in Come, tears, confound! the chest—yes, right here on the left Out, sword, and wound! side where his heart is. (PYRAMUS The pap of Pyramus— stabs himself) Act 5, Scene 1, Page 14

Original Text Modern Text Ay, that left pap And so I’m dying. Here I go, here I go. Where heart doth hop. (stabs himself) Okay, now I’m dead. My soul has fled to Thus die I, thus, thus, thus. the sky. My tongue shall see no more, Now am I dead. It’s time for the moon to go away. 285 Now am I fled. My soul is in the sky. Tongue, lose thy light. Moon, take thy flight. Exit MOONSHINE MOONSHINE exits. 290 Now die, die, die, die, die. Now die, die, die, die, die. (PYRAMUS (dies) dies) 77 DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS No die, but an ace for him, for he is but one. Is someone throwing dice? I guess it’s “die,” not dice, since there’s only one of him. LYSANDER LYSANDER Less than an ace, man. For he is dead. HeActually he’s a die with no dots, since is nothing. he’s nothing—he’s dead. THESEUS THESEUS With the help of a surgeon he might yetWith a doctor’s help he might recover recover and prove an ass. and become an ass again. HIPPOLYTA HIPPOLYTA How chance Moonshine is gone beforeIf Moonshine’s gone before Thisbe Thisbe comes back and finds her lover? comes back, how will she be able to see in the dark to find her lover dead? THESEUS THESEUS She will find him by starlight. Here sheShe’ll see him by starlight. Here she comes, and her passion ends the play. comes. Her moaning and groaning will end the play. Enter THISBE THISBE enters. HIPPOLYTA HIPPOLYTA 300 Methinks she should not use a long one forI don’t think a ridiculous Pyramus like such a Pyramus. that one deserves much moaning. I I hope she will be brief. hope she keeps it short. DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS A mote will turn the balance, whichI can’t decide whether Pyramus or Pyramus, which Thisbe, is the better. He forThisbe is better. God help us if he’s a a man, God warrant us, she for a woman,better man. But God help us if she’s a God bless us. better woman. Act 5, Scene 1, Page 15

Original Text Modern Text LYSANDER LYSANDER 305 She hath spied him already with thoseLook, she’s spotted him with those sweet eyes. sweet eyes of hers. DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS And thus she means, videlicet— And now she’ll start moaning, of course — THISBE THISBE Asleep, my love? Are you asleep, my love? What, are you What, dead, my dove? dead, my dove? Oh, Pyramus, get up! O Pyramus, arise! Speak, speak. Can’t you talk? Dead, 310 Speak, speak. Quite dumb? dead? The dirt of a grave must cover Dead, dead? A tomb your sweet eyes! Your lily-white lips, Must cover thy sweet eyes. your cherry-red nose, and your These lily lips, buttercup-yellow cheeks are gone, gone This cherry nose, forever. Lovers, moan and weep. His 315 These yellow cowslip cheeks eyes were as green as leeks. Oh, Fate, Are gone, are gone. come, come to me, with hands as pale

78 Lovers, make moan. as milk. Soak your hands in blood and His eyes were green as leeks. gore, since you have cut the thread of O Sisters three, his life with scissors. Tongue, do not 320 Come, come to me speak. Come, trusty sword. Come, With hands as pale as milk. blade, drench my breast with blood. Lay them in gore, (she stabs herself) Goodbye, friends! Since you have shore This is how Thisbe comes to an end. With shears his thread of silk. Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. (THISBE 325 Tongue, not a word. dies) Come, trusty sword. Come, blade, my breast imbrue.(stabs herself) And, farewell, friends. 330 Thus Thisbe ends. Adieu, adieu, adieu. (dies) THESEUS THESEUS Moonshine and Lion are left to bury theMoonshine and Lion are left to bury the dead. dead. DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS Ay, and Wall too. Yes, and Wall too. Act 5, Scene 1, Page 16

Original Text Modern Text BOTTOM BOTTOM (out of character) No, assure you. The wall(out of character) No, I assure you. The is down that parted their fathers. Will itwall that kept their fathers apart has please you to see the epilogue, or to hear abeen taken down. Would you like to see Bergomask dance between two of ourthe epilogue or hear a country dance company? between two of us? THESEUS THESEUS No epilogue, I pray you, for your play needsNo epilogue, please. Your play doesn’t no excuse. Never excuse—for when theneed to be excused afterward with an players are all dead, there needs none to beepilogue. Never apologize—when the blamed. Marry, if he that writ it had playedactors are all dead, no one can be Pyramus and hanged himself in Thisbe’sblamed. As a matter of fact, if the garter, it would have been a fine tragedy.playwright had played Pyramus and And so it is, truly, and very notablyhanged himself with Thisbe’s belt, it discharged. But come, your Bergomask. Letwould have been a very good tragedy. your epilogue alone. It’s a good tragedy, very well done. But come on, let’s see you do your dance. Forget your epilogue. Exeunt Bergomask danceThe actors dance, and BOTTOM and BOTTOM and FLUTE FLUTE exit. The iron tongue of midnight hath told twelve.The clock has chimed midnight. Lovers, Lovers, to bed. 'Tis almost fairy time. it’s time to go to bed. It’s almost fairy 345 I fear we shall outsleep the coming morn time. I’m afraid we’re going to oversleep As much as we this night havein the morning as late as we’ve stayed overwatched. up tonight.This blatantly stupid play This palpable-gross play hath well beguiled helped us kill the time until bed. Dear 79 The heavy gait of night. Sweet friends, tofriends, let’s go to bed. We’ll continue 350 bed. this celebration for two weeks, with A fortnight hold we this solemnity, nightly parties and new fun. In nightly revels and new jollity. Exeunt They all exit. Enter ROBIN ROBIN enters. ROBIN ROBIN Now the hungry lion roars Now the hungry lion roars and the wolf And the wolf behowls the moon, howls at the moon. The farmer snores, Whilst the heavy ploughman snores, exhausted from his work. The charred All with weary task fordone. logs glow in the fireplace, and the owl’s Now the wasted brands do glow, hoot makes the sick man think about his Whilst the screech-owl, screeching loud, own death. Now is the time of night Puts the wretch that lies in woe when graves open wide and release In remembrance of a shroud. spirits to glide over the graveyard paths. Now it is the time of night That the graves all gaping wide, Every one lets forth his sprite, In the churchway paths to glide. Act 5, Scene 1, Page 17

Original Text Modern Text And we fairies, that do run And we fairies, who run away from the By the triple Hecate’s team sun just like the goddess of the night, From the presence of the sun, following darkness like a dream, are Following darkness like a dream, getting antsy. But I’m here to make sure Now are frolic. Not a mouse that not even a mouse disturbs this Shall disturb this hallowed house. blessed house. I’ve been sent to clean I am sent with broom before house a bit before the fairies come. To sweep the dust behind the door. Enter OBERON and TITANIA, King andOBERON and TITANIA enter with their Queen of Fairies, with all their train servants and followers. OBERON OBERON Through the house give glimmering light, Let the dying fire shine a glimmering By the dead and drowsy fire. light throughout the house. I want every Every elf and fairy sprite elf and fairy to hop lightly, like a bird on Hop as light as bird from brier. a twig, and to sing and dance this song 355 And this ditty, after me, along with me. Sing and dance it trippingly. TITANIA TITANIA First, rehearse your song by rote, First rehearse your song from memory, To each word a warbling note. and make sure each note is pretty. We’ll Hand in hand with fairy grace all join hands and sing, and bless this 360 Will we sing and bless this place. place with our fairy grace. OBERON, TITANIA, and the FAIRIES singOBERON and TITANIA lead the and dance FAIRIES in song and dance. OBERON OBERON (sings) (singing)

80 Now until the break of day, Now, until morning, each fairy should Through this house each fairy stray. walk through this house. Titania and I To the best bride bed will we, will go to the royal marriage bed to Which by us shall blessèd be. bless it, and the children conceived in And the issue there create that bed will always have good luck. Ever shall be fortunate. Each of the three couples will always be So shall all the couples three faithful and in love, and their children Ever true in loving be. will have no deformities. And the blots of Nature’s hand Shall not in their issue stand. Act 5, Scene 1, Page 18

Original Text Modern Text

Never mole, harelip, nor scar, They won’t have moles, or harelips, or Nor mark prodigious, such as are scars, or abnormal markings, or anything Despisèd in nativity, else that might alarm someone if their Shall upon their children be. baby was born with it. Use this blessed With this field dew consecrate, dew from the fields to bless each room in Every fairy take his gait. the palace with sweet peace. And the And each several chamber bless blessed owner will always be safe. Run Through this palace with sweet peace. along. Don’t stay long. Meet me at dawn. And the owner of it blessed Ever shall in safety rest. Trip away. Make no stay. Meet me all by break of day. Exeunt all but ROBIN They all exit except for ROBIN. ROBIN ROBIN If we shadows have offended, If we actors have offended you, just think Think but this, and all is mended— of it this way and everything will be all That you have but slumbered here right—you were asleep when you saw While these visions did appear. these visions, and this silly and pathetic And this weak and idle theme, story was no more real than a dream. No more yielding but a dream, Ladies and gentlemen, don’t get upset Gentles, do not reprehend. with me. If you forgive us, we’ll make If you pardon, we will mend. everything all right. I’m an honest Puck, And, as I am an honest Puck, and I swear that if we’re lucky enough not If we have unearnèd luck to get hissed at, we’ll make it up to you Now to ’scape the serpent’s tongue, soon. If not, then I’m a liar. So good night We will make amends ere long. to everyone. Give me some applause, if Else the Puck a liar call. we’re friends, and Robin will make So good night unto you all. everything up to you. Give me your hands if we be friends, And Robin shall restore amends. Exit He exits.

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