Ladies Give Them The Naked News
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BEYOND A LONG GLIMPSE
BY
MAX ALEXANDER MALLOY
2700 Randall Ave. #1D Bronx, New York 10465 347-810-7242 2
FADE IN:
It’s the year – 2020 in New York City; on an early sweaty summer night, on fashionable fifth Avenue, the entire office building housing world renowned WAYC TV News Network, is totally engulfed in fire. A plethora of firemen equipped with hoses train water onto the consumed building. A group of fire engines parked with flashing red lights saturate the street. More emergency vehicles’ sirens are heard approaching the disaster. Police vehicles with flashing red lights block all surrounding intersections and streets. News photographers’ cameras flashes as firemen lead several weeping white females from the building. A half block away, Arthur Corbin, a suave, white man of forty, owner of the building and President of WAYC TV News Network, Vice President, Charlie Franklin a short, robust man of fifty and News Producer, Billy Green, a short, graying white man of fifty, stand cowered looking up at the towering inferno. Arthur puts both hands up to his face and begins to weep; Charlie and Billy put their hands around Arthur’s shoulders and console him. CHARLIE FRANKLIN Arthur, be strong, it’s only a building; thank God we all got out safely. BILLY GREEN Yes, Arthur, you can rebuild and meanwhile, you can telecast the news from some other locale. There’re plenty facilities available. ARTHUR CORBIN (Wipes eyes with handkerchief) I know but it won’t be the same. It will take years to reorganize. Meanwhile, all of my news fans will resort to watching other TV News programs. How in the hell can I ever win them back? A fireman races over to the men and urgently asks them to
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FIREMAN (Frantic) Gentlemen, you must leave the area right away; we fear an explosions and a building collapse! Billy and Charlie quickly usher Arthur down the street and around the corner. ONE WEEK LATER INT – BARKLEY HOTEL – SIXTH FLOOR – SUITE #616 – MORNING Arthur sits on a sofa chatting with Billy and Charlie, who sit at a table. They smoke cigars. ARTHUR (Sad face) Fellows, I have more problems. Billy and Charlie look sadly at each other; they rise from the table and sit on the sofa next to Arthur. CHARLIE What? Arthur, what’s the new problem? BILLY Yes, Arthur, what ever it is, I’m sure your insurance company and the bank will remedy any financial dilemma. Arthur rises and lights a cigarette, walks over to the window looks out and takes a puff. ARTHUR No fellows, thanks for your input but its not that easy. You see, the Fire Marshals suspect arson and the insurance company and bank are reluctant to get involved until this mess is resolved by the Fire Dept. The three men hear a rap at the door. ARTHUR Attend to the door, Billy. Billy rises, goes to the door, and opens it and find three
3 4 stoics face men staring at him.
BILLY Gentlemen, may I help you? Tall, gray-haired, white man of sixty, District Attorney Paul Hecht stands at the door accompanied by two, white, medium height Fire Marshals, Sam Reed and Gary Walton. D.A. HECHT (Stoic expression) Yes, I’m D.A. Paul Hecht and these are Fire Marshals, Sam Reed and Gary Walton. We would like to speak with Arthur Corbin. Arthur, looking nervous, rises, walks over to the door. D.A. Hecht and the Marshals enter the suite. ARTHUR (Nervous, shaking) I’m Arthur Corbin, what can I do for you gentlemen? D.A. Hecht reaches into his jacket pocket, pulls out a warrant and presents it to Arthur. Arthur accepts it and scans it nervously and looks up at D.A. Hecht. D.A. HECHT (Stern) Mr. Corbin, as you have read, that’s a warrant for your arrest. The charges are Arson, Conspiracy and Criminal facilitation. A hush permeates the suite. Billy gasps and swallows hard. Charlie rises and rushes over near the door. Both Billy and Charlie gaze helplessly at Arthur, in disbelief. CHARLIE (Frowning) D.A. Hecht, clearly, this is a colossal mistake. BILLY Yea, Mr. D.A., Arthur was here with us all morning. D.A. glares at Billy with disgust.
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D.A. HECHT (Annoyed) Sir, this case has nothing to do with this date; it has to do with the torching of Mr. Corbin’s office building, one week ago. I’m sure Mr. Corbin knows to which I speak. By the way, Mr. Corbin, you’re under arrest. You’ve the right to remain silent; anything you say will be held against you. Marshal, Reed, cuff your prisoner. Arthur bows his head and weeps silently. He places both hands behind his back, as Marshal Walton places cuffs on Arthur’s wrists. Both Marshals grab Arthur’s arms and escort him from the suite. CHARLIE (Yells) Don’t worry Arthur I’m calling your Attorney! INT – NEW YORK CITY – CRIMINAL COURT – ARRAIGNMENT PART – AFTERNOON An elderly, gray-haired Black Judge, Robert Lowe, sits in a black robe on the bench before a sparsely filled court. A long brown table sits in front of the litigants. Down front to Judge Lowe’s right, Defendant Arthur Corbin stands sadly next to his Attorney, Brad Shaw. His young, laughing co- defendants, Jose Morales and Carlos Rodriquez each stand next to his Attorney, Juan Velasquez and Pedro Martinez. A Black Court Officers calls the case. D.A. Hecht stands to the Judge’s left. A Black Court stands in front of the Judge with papers in his hands. COURT OFFICER (Loud) Your Honor, we have case and docket #1562, #1563, and #1564, in the concert case of defendant Arthur Corbin, charged with Penal Law crimes of Arson, Conspiracy and Criminal Solicitation. Co-companions Jose Morales and Carlos Rodriquez are both charged with Arson and Conspiracy.
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JUDGE ROBERT LOWE Defendant Arthur Corbin how do you plea to the charges?
DEFENDANT ARTHUR CORBIN (Sad grimace looks up) Your Honor I plea not guilty.
JUDGE ROBERT LOWE Defendant Jose Morales how do you plea to the charges?
DEFENDANT JOSE MORALES (Silly laugh) Your Honor I plea not guilty. Judge Lowe gives the defendant a strange look. JUDGE ROBERT LOWE Defendant Carlos Rodriquez how do you plea to the charges?
DEFENDANT CARLOS RODRIQUEZ (Silly laugh) Your Honor I plea not guilty. Judge Lowe gives the defendant a strange look. JUDGE ROBERT LOWE D.A. Hecht, you may proceed. D.A.HECHT Your Honor, for the purpose of bail and for the record, the people of the State of New York contends that defendant Arthur Corbin solicited and contracted two of his maintenance employees, Jose Morales and Carlos Rodriquez to torch his office building for a handsome fee. Your Honor, we also contend the building was razed for insurance monies. And your Honor, we have signed confessions from defendant Morales and Rodriquez, which poignantly implicates the building’s owner and he is defendant Arthur Corbin. A loud gasp permeates the court as all eyes fall upon
6 7 defendant Corbin. Defendant Corbin bows his head and shakes his head from side to side. JUDGE ROBERT LOWE Thank you, D.A. Hecht, Attorney Shaw, you have the floor. Attorney Shaw rises and uses stern hand gestures. ATTORNEY BRAD SHAW (Stern) Your Honor, good morning, on behalf of my innocent client, Arthur Corbin, we’re not prepared for a speedy hearing, because we have grave doubts regarding the authenticity of the defendants Morales and Rodriquez’s confessions.
JUDGE ROBERT LOWE Attorney Vasquez, you’re next.
ATTORNEY JUAN VASQUEZ (Smiling) Good morning Your Honor. Your Honor on behalf of my client, Jose Morales, I kindly petition the court for an early hearing date.
JUDGE ROBERT LOWE Attorney Martinez, you have the floor.
ATTORNEY PEDRO MARTINEZ (Smiling) Good morning Your Honor. Likewise, Your Honor, on behalf of my client, Carlos Rodriquez, I too petition the court for an early hearing date. Judge Lowe peers over his glasses as he thumbs through several documents. He looks up at the Defense Attorney and D.A. Hecht and addresses them. JUDGE ROBERT LOWE D.A. Hecht and Counselors Vasquez and Martinez, in view of the confessions made by defendants Morales and Rodriquez, I’m setting a hearing date for two weeks from this date, at 9:00 A.M.
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CONT. JUDGE ROBERT LOWE In addition, due to the severe nature of the crimes, the immigrant status of defendants Morales and Rodriquez, and defendant Corbin’s irrational behavior, I remand all defendants without bail. Court is adjourned. Judge Lowe sounds the gavel. SIX MONTHS LATER INT – NEW YORK CITY – STATE SUPREME COURT – PART #3 - MORNING At the trial, Judge Wally Branch, male white, 60, gray hair, sits on the bench. Defendants Morales, Rodriquez and Corbin sit at the table with their Attorneys. The Jury looks on; D.A. walks about and concludes his summation. The audience sits quietly. D.A. HECHT (Stern, hand gestures) And finally, to you the Jury, you’ve already heard the feeble summations rendered by each of the defendants’ Attorney; these atrocious defendants were arraigned, they were rendered a fair hearing and now they’re before you for trial. You’ve heard Fire Marshals’ skillful testimonies and you’ve examined concrete evidence presented by them. You’ve also heard and examined the voluntary confessions uttered, written and signed by defendants Morales and Rodriquez, and both confessions indubitably implicated defendant and building owner Arthur Corbin as the Architect and solicitor, who caused the inferno to materialize. Well, ladies and gentlemen, the fate of these unsavory characters linger in your lap; what’s your pleasure? D.A. Hecht bows to the Judge, turns and goes to his seat. Judge Lowe turns to the Jury and charges them.
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JUDGE WALLY BRANCH (Stern) Ladies and gentlemen of the Jury, the defendants’ fate is now in your hands. You’ll be sequestered during your deliberation. Now, as for defendants Morales and Rodriquez, you may find them guilty or not guilty of all of part of the following charges, Arson and Conspiracy. As for defendant Corbin, you may find him guilty or not guilty of all of part of the following charges, Arson, Conspiracy and Criminal Solicitation. Court Officer you may escort the Jury to their deliberation sanctuary. You other two Court Officers take the defendants to the holding cells. One Court Officer escorts the Jury through a side door; two other Court Officers lead the defendants through a rear door. TWO DAYS LATER INT – SUPREME COURT PART #3 – MORNING The Jury has reached a verdict; Judge Branch sits on the bench. Two Court Officers escort the defendants into the Court. Court Officers later leads the Jury into the Court. The audience sits patiently. JUDGE WALLY BRANCH I understand the Jury has reached a verdict. Is that right Mr. Foreman of the Jury? Elderly, bald white man rises and addresses the Judge. FOREMAN OF JURY Yes Your Honor we’ve reached a verdict.
JUDGE WALLY BRANCH Present it to the Court Clerk. Foreman presents sheet of paper to female Court Clerk.
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JUDGE WALLY BRANCH Will the defendants rise? All defendants rise. JUDGE WALLY BRANCH Will the Clerk read the verdict? Clerk walks over to a microphone and reads verdict. COURT CLERK We the Jury find the defendants, Jose Morales and Carlos Rodriquez guilty of Arson in the third degree. In regards to defendant Arthur Corbin, we the Jury find the defendant guilty of Arson in the second degree. So ends the reading of the verdict, signed this date, June 1, 2020.
JUDGE WALLY BRANCH I want to thank the Court Clerk.
JUDGE WALLY BRANCH Now, I want to poll the Jury. If all of you Jurors consent to the verdict as read by the Court Clerk, please raise your right hand. All of the Jurors raise their right hand. JUDGE WALLY BRANCH I want to thank all of you Jurors for zealously performing your civic duty and you’re now excused. I will set sentencing three weeks from this date. THREE WEEKS LATER INT – NEW YORK CITY – STATE SUPREME COURT – PART #3 MORNING Judge Branch sits on the bench reading documents and papers. Defendants Morales, Rodriquez and Corbin stand between their Attorneys awaiting sentencing. The audience sits on the edge of their seats. JUDGE WALLY BRANCH Okay, I read the pre-sentencing reports on all of the defendants. I note that defendants Morales and Rodriquez confessed to their crimes and
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implicated defendant Corbin. They also cooperated with the D.A. Hecht and his staff. Defendants Morales and Rodriquez you’re hereby sentenced to the State Penitentiary for two years.
CONT. JUDGE WALLY BRANCH In regards to defendant Corbin, I’m please to learn that the banks and your insurance companies denied your claim to collect on your policies. So, to compound your woes, I now sentence you to the State Penitentiary for five years. Court Officers take them away. Corbin collapse onto the floor as three Court Officers attends to him. Two Officers handcuff prisoners Morales and Rodriquez; the Officers escort Morales and Rodriquez toward a rear door; the prisoners laugh aloud. EXT – OUTSIDE REAR OF COURT – MORNING Several News Photographers and TV Cameramen take photos and film the prisoners as Correction Officers load them into prison buses. FIVE YEARS LATER
INT – NEW YORK CITY – 34TH STREET – HARRY’S PIZZERIA – AFTERNOON Arthur Corbin has served his prison term and his pals, Billy Green and Charlie Franklin, who are gray and slightly heavier, sit nervously in the Pizzeria waiting to greet him. Finally, Arthur, now with gray hair and ten pound heavier walks through the door. Billy and Charlie see him; they leap from the seats and rush over to greet him. They embrace mightily as tears flow down their faces. BILLY (Broad smile) Come on fellow let’s grab a seat. Billy leads the guys over to a booth; Arthur sits across from Billy and Charlie. They smoke cigars. CHARLIE (Broad smile) Arthur, you looks great, a little older but great.
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They all laugh aloud. ARTHUR (Wipes tears from his eyes) Guys, I feel great and it’s wonderful to have my freedom again. Billy reaches over and pats Arthur’s shoulder. BILLY Hang in their fellow, we have your back. And I bet you’ve devised some clever concepts of televising the news.
ARTHUR Oh fellow, I can’t wait to tell you about a marvelous concept, which, when instituted, will shockingly revolutionize TV news casting. Arthur spies a blond waitress wearing a red, micro mini skirt and a low-cut, red halter. She prances over to the booth. The guys offer broad grins and ogle the waitress with open-mouths. ARTHUR (Nervous stutter) Ah-Ah-Ah Bring us three slices and a pitcher of beer. The frisky waitress grins widely. WAITRESS You got it fellas; what ever you want. The sultry waitress walks slowly, looks back and walks away shaking and rolling her hips in a sexy manner. All of the diners’ eyes fall upon the waitress as she disappears behind the counter. ARTHUR (Snaps his fingers) Hey guys snap out of it. Do you see how you guys are mesmerized by that gorgeous waitress’ ass? Well, you’ve just witnessed a scenario of my concept for the new age of TV news casting.
CHARLIE (Curious expression)
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Art, what do really mean? Arthur takes a long stare at his pals.
ARTHUR I mean, just look at your current TV news cast, network or cable, basically, it hasn’t change in sixty years. What you have is an assembly of cosmetic, bleach blonds, a congregation of Asian gals emulating white women and a platoon of pampered white men mimicking Hollywood leading men. But let’s forget about the men. Now, women are the key. But as you scan your favorite news program, network or cable, you see a plethora of beautiful blonds and brunettes, but they’re always concealed and hidden behind a thick, broad desk. I wonder why? Now, I’m sure most of those hot babes are endowed with fabulous, curvaceous asses, but we’ve never seen their asses because they’re well hidden from our view. Now, do you remember how news mogul Ted Turner revolutionized TV news by introducing 24 hours cable news? Well, I’m gonna surpass Ted’s feat. I aim to revolutionize TV news by instituting 24 hours of TV cable news, hosted by a stable of nude female newscasters. Billy scratches his head and stares at Charlie and Arthur. BILLY (Laughing) Art, that’s a great idea. So, prison did agree with you, mentally.
CHARLIE (Smiling) I’ve got it, Art you’re going after the male audience out there in TV land.
ARTHUR Yea, and while I was confined, I
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conferred with three shady characters and they’ve promised to front the resources to initiate my project and I want you guys to be at my side. Billy and Charlie give each other strange looks.
BILLY (Looks confused) I don’t know, Art, you mentioned some shady characters.
CHARLIE (Looks confused) Art, I’ll get back to you; let me sleep on it. Those shady characters frighten me. You just got out of the pen and why would you consort with unsavory dudes? The sexy waitress carrying a tray of Pizza and beer sashays over to the table. She bends over to serve the Pizza and the guys stare hypnotically down her halter and observe her large, bloated tits. The guys gaze helplessly as the waitress walks away and slowly gyrates her voluptuous hips. Now the guys finally eat their Pizza and gulp down their beer. ARTHUR Okay, fellas, I understand. Both of you’ll sleep on this matter and you’ll get back to me tomorrow.
BILLY I think that’s fair; we’ll talk tomorrow.
CHARLIE Well, gents, let’s meet tomorrow at my house, let’s say three, tomorrow afternoon.
ARTHUR That will be find we’ll meet at Charlie’s house. INT – NEW YORK CITY – WYNB TV NEWS STUDIO – EVENING TV News correspondent Lou Regan sits at his desk before TV cameras preparing to report the evening news.
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LOU REGAN I’m WYNB TV news correspondent Lou Regan bringing you the evening news. In New York, today former TV news mogul Arthur Corbin was released from prison after severing five years for torching his own office building.
INT – NEW YORK CITY – 328 E. 74th STREET – AFTERNOON In Charlie’s first floor apartment, parlor, Charlie, Billy and Arthur sit on the sofa chatting. The door bell rings. Charlie rises and responds to the door; he opens the door and observes two grizzly white men, 50, looking down upon him. Charlie becomes nervous. CHARLIE (Shaky voice) May I help you?
CRAZY JOE BOSCO (Facial grimace) Yea, I’m crazy Joe Bosco and this here is my buddy, Curt Bruiser Campo. We’re looking for Art, Art Corbin; is he here? Charlie offers a slight nervous grin, move to the side and beckon for the giant men to enter. CHARLIE Come in, Art is inside. The grizzly men squeeze past Charlie and enter the parlor; Art rises from the sofa and embraces his pals. Charlie reenters the parlor; Billy rises from the sofa. ARTHUR (Broad grin) Hello Crazy Joe and Bruiser have a seat. Hey, Billy and Charlie I forgot to inform you that Crazy Joe and Bruiser was coming. Anyway, Billy and Charlie, these are my pals, Crazy Joe Bosco and Curt Bruiser Campo. Crazy Joe and Bruiser remain standing and stare uncomfortably at Billy and Charlie. Billy walks over gently to Crazy Joe and Bruiser; Billy extends his hand. Both Crazy Joe and Bruiser ignore Billy and turns to Art.
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BRUISER (Mean growl) Art, we came to transact business not to shake hands with weasels; get these clowns out of here! Art nods his head for Billy and Charlie to exit to the kitchen. They both exit. CRAZY JOE (Mean growl) Now, gotdamit, we can get down to business. Crazy Joe pulls out a bottle of wine, takes a sip and passes the bottle to Bruiser who takes a sip and passes the bottle to Art; he also takes a sip. They all sit down at a small table and begin negotiating. ARTHUR Guys, here’s my plan. Simply put, I want to revolutionize how the news is presented on television. I want to remove female news correspondents from behind those old thick desks and bring them out front before the camera, naked, to present the news and weather. Crazy Joe gazes at Bruiser, grabs a newspaper and begins fanning himself; Bruiser does likewise. CRAZY JOE (Mouth opened) Wow! Art, do you think you can pull this off?
ARTHUR (Laughing) Certainly, with money greasing the right hands in Washington, I can transform the news on cable and satellite TV in a naked way that will astonish the world.
BRUISER Art, don’t worry about Washington because have access to Senator Earl Payne Chairman of the Federal Communication Committee.
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CRAZY JOE Art, you just find a posh building to house your TV studio and we’ll take care of the finance.
ARTHUR That sounds great because I saw a luxurious vacant building on East 48th Street. I’ll look into it tomorrow.
BRUISER Art, don’t forget what we discussed while you were in prison, we’re your silent partners. Thus, we will collect fifty percent of the proceeds. Arthur rises from the sofa, lights a cigarette and takes a puff. ARTHUR That won’t be a problem, I’ll get fifty percent and you guys will split the other fifty. Let’s shake guys. Bruiser and Crazy Joe rise from the sofa and shake Art’s hand. CRAZY JOE Art, in one month, we’ll have the okay from Washington and we’ll definitely have the money to initiate your news enterprise.
ARTHUR That will be fine and I should know about the 48th street building’s vacancy in a couple of days and I’ll be in contact with you. The guys smile and embrace. Bruiser and Crazy exit. Art looks towards the kitchen and calls Billy and Charlie. ARTHUR (Yells) Hey Billy and Charlie, you can come back now! Charlie and Billy open the kitchen door slowly, peep curiously into the parlor and tiptoe cautiously back into the parlor.
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BILLY Wow! Art, those creepy guys were ugly and frightening! Art, are you sure you want to enter a business partnership with those grizzly goons? Art smiles nonchalantly.
CHARLIE Yea, Art, I believe those guys are bad news. I’m sure the local cops and the FBI are familiar with those two desperados. Art smiles and touches both friends on their shoulders. ARTHUR Don’t worry my friends I’ve reached a business accord with Bruiser and Crazy Joe. In a few months we’ll introduce nude news programs to America. Billy and Charlie give a round of applause. Arthur looks up to the ceiling, stretches out his hands and yells. ARTHUR (Dramatize, loudly) Gentlemen, I will call my news network: “Ladies Give Them the Naked News”! All three applaud loudly. Arthur gives his friend a dear look. ARTHUR And finally, my dear friends, if you guys come along with me, I sincerely promise you’ll never have any dealings with either Crazy Joe or Bruiser. Billy and Charlie’s curious eyes meet. After a short pause, Billy replies. BILLY In that case, Art, with your assurance, I’ll join you at your new TV News Studio. Art glares sadly at Charlie and awaits his reply. Finally, Charlie smiles and embraces Art.
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CHARLIE Okay, Art, I’m with you; count me in. Arthur jumps up and down with elation.
ARTHUR (Loud celebration) Hooray! We’re back together again! Yea! “Theme from the Apartment” is heard on the radio. Art reaches on the table and pour three glasses of wine. ARTHUR (Screams out) Drink up fellows and be merry for tomorrow we might die! FOUR MONTHS LATER INT – NEW YORK CITY – WNAY TV STUDIO – EVENING Liz Chapman, 25-years-old, tall, gorgeous blond, host of her “GIRLS CHAT” TV Show, sits on a sofa before TV cameras and a small TV audience comprised of all women. Special guest, news correspondent Elaine Bellamy sits next to Liz. The male news director standing next to the camera raises and drops his right hand; the audience applauds wildly as Liz greets her audience. LIZ (Broad smile) Hello out there in TV land and thanks for tuning in. I’m Liz Chapman your host of “GIRLS CHAT”. Let me introduce my special guest, she’s none other than Elaine Bellamy, America’s most influential news correspondent of WLAC TV News in Los Angeles. Hello Elaine and thanks for being my guest this evening. The audience applauds wildly. ELAINE BELLAMY (Wide smile) Hello, Liz, I’m so very happy to be on your show.
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Liz points to a table; sitting on the table are three photos of three blonds posing in scanty bikinis.
LIZ (Smiling, shaking here head, negatively) My audience and those of you out there in TV Land, take a good look at these scantily clad blonds posed in these photos. Now, do you remember former TV News Mogul, Arthur Corbin, who served five years in prison for torching his own building, which housed his TV Studio? Well, Arthur Corbin has been released from prison and he’s back and he’s why I have sexy photos of these sexy blonds sitting on this table. These photos along with other promotional advertisements happen to be the brainchild of Art Corbin. It seems that Mr. Corbin has set out to revolutionize the presentation of TV News via his brand new TV News Network: “LADIES GIVE THEM the NAKED NEWS”. Mr. Corbin plans to employee a plethora of scantily clad blonds and brunettes to telecast news and the weather on cable and satellite TV. The audience emits loud boos. LIZ (Frown) Elaine, you’ve been a news correspondent for many years, so what’s your take on Mr. Corbin’s tawdry concept of news presentation? Elaine moves to the edge of the sofa; stares at the photos again. ELAINE (Frown, angry) Are you kidding me? This is absurd! I think those you ladies who accept such tacky employment will be quickly be stigmatized as dumb blonds and brunettes! Who’s going to watch them
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presenting the news anyway? Liz shakes her head from side to side; looks at Elaine in disbelief. LIZ (Frown) Elaine, obviously Mr. Corbin’s objective is to cater to, mesmerize and corral the attention of that raunchy male audience.
ELAINE Liz, that maybe, but men will be curious at first and they will watch for a while, but after a few weeks, Mr. Corbin’s news program and his trifling blond gals will vanish faster than the Ford Edsel. The audience laughs aloud. Elaine picks up a photo, glares at it and shakes her head in disgust. LIZ Audience, look at the photo Elaine is holding. Would any of you young ladies wear this scandalous brief, while rendering the news on TV to the world? Young blond in the audience raises her hand, brushes long hair from her eyes and speaks into a microphone in the aisle. FIRST YOUNG BLOND (Grinning) Liz, certainly I would wear the bikini and present the news. You know, Liz, you and Elaine already has your careers carved out for you. However, many of us are still struggling and we’re seeking that initial opening. Second young blond in the audience raises her hand, brushes long hair from her eyes and speaks into the mike. SECOND YOUNG BLOND (Grinning) Liz, I agree with the previous speaker. I think most current news programs are boring and repetitive. Also, I think
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Mr. Corbin is exceedingly courageous to challenge the status quo and revolutionize TV News presentation. By the way, Liz, I’m thinking of applying for a job there.
LIZ Elaine, you heard those young, gorgeous women concurring with Mr. Corbin’s concept of news presentation, what’s your take on their remarks?
ELAINE (Shakes her head, negatively) I say emphatically, that any young lady, who applies and accept such a gaudy position, should instead apply for a gig as a stripper or a street walker. Obviously, she has already established herself as a brazen, flamboyant slut. Older white lady raises her hand, rises and speaks into the mike. OLDER WHITE LADY (Serious expression) Elaine, I total agree with you. Whether you’re a half nude street walker or a half nude news correspondent, any way you present it, bottom line, you’re still a dam slut! First Young blond leaps out of her seat and snatches microphone from older woman; leer angrily at older woman and Elaine. FIRST YOUNG BLOND (Hostile) Elaine, you and this old bag standing next to me, who-in-the-fuck are you calling a slut? Elaine, this is the problem, you successful bitches have reached stardom and now you look down upon who have struck out! But I want to ask you whores a serious question! In order to claim your fame, how many office casting couches have you stained, and Liz, that includes you as
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well? The first blond knocks the older woman down; she’s joined by the second angry blond and they both bolt for the stage and attack both Liz and Elaine. Security aides rush onto the stage; shoving the struggling blonds out a back door. INT – NEW YORK CITY – LOU’S NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT In the dimly lit nightclub, soft music serenades the sparse diners. Bruiser and Crazy Joe sit in a booth whispering to Senator Earl Payne, thin, bald, white male, 60. They stop talking for a moment as the waiter serves them drinks. As the waiter leaves they resume whispering. BRUISER (Whispering) Senator Payne, as I was saying, soon, our friend Art Corbin hopes to begin operating his TV News Studio WLNN. Now Senator, here’s the bombshell, scantily clad female correspondents will presents the news and weather in bikinis. Senator, we want you to run interference against any TV News network who attempt to impede Art’s inauguration of TV News station WLNN on cable and satellite. Senator Payne lights up a cigar and states to his clients. SENATOR PAYNE (Slight smile) Boys, don’t you worry about TV station WLNN because I’m the Chairman of the Federal Communication Committee and no legislative bills leave my office unless I say so and this one has. Crazy Joe leans closer to the Senator. CRAZY JOE (Confused expression) But Senator, it’s not only TV competitors we’re worrying about, once we have those naked blonds strutting and flashing their shapely asses, while reporting the news, then, all of those phony political right wingers will leap out of the woodwork with moral gripes
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to the President. Senator Payne takes a slow drag on his cigar and states.
SENATOR PAYNE Well, Crazy Joe, the right wingers can only complain on the outside, but on the inside, I control and govern the all important Federal Communication Committee and that’s that.
BRUISER Well, Senator, make sure you roll the dices zealously, because we’re Art’s silent partners, thus, that make us part owner of WLNN TV News Studio. Senator Payne rises from the booth, lean over and whispers to his clients. SENATOR PAYNE Just give your partner Art the okay to proceed and present his sexy news whenever he wishes; in fact, my successful legislation has already enabled Art’s broadcast application and license to be approved.
CRAZY JOE That’s great, Senator. Now, in a few weeks, go to the Island of Bimini in the Bahamas and your wages will await your arrival.
SENATOR PAYNE Thanks, gentlemen, tell Art good luck and I’m looking forward to gawking at those semi-nude news correspondents. I must leave now. Senator Payne shakes his clients’ hand, put on a wide-brim hat and eases out a rear exit. THREE WEEKS LATER EXT – BIMINI THE BAHAMAS – SANDY BEACH – AFTERNOON Senator Payne and his wife, Ella, lay on a white, sandy beach under a large, colorful umbrella. They sip glasses of
24 25 fruit juices. Mr. and Mrs. Payne are approached by a Gary Bishop, a black, male waiter carrying a large brown envelope atop a tray.
WAITER GARY BISHOP (Accent, bows and smiles) Sir, are you Senator Payne? Senator Payne rises to a sitting position; looks at the waiter and replies. SENATOR PAYNE Yes I am. Waiter bows, removes envelope and presents it to Senator Payne; the Senator accepts it. WAITER GARY BISHOP Senator, an anonymous source told me to present this envelope to you. Senator Payne gives the waiter a tip. SENATOR PAYNE Why thank you young man. The waiter bows and smiles broadly. WAITER GARY BISHOP And thank you sir. The waiter walks away. Senator Payne slowly opens the envelope as his wife looks on. The Senator spies an envelope full of money and smiles to himself. He reads a brief note from Crazy Joe. Ella rises to a sitting position and inquires. ELLA Darling, why are you smiling and who’s that package from? The Senator quickly closes the package and lays back down sipping his fruit juice. SENATOR PAYNE Oh dear, it’s just some documents from one of the Senators.
ELLA Oh, I see.
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Ella lays back down sipping her fruit juice.
INT – NEW YORK CITY – WYCC TV NEWS STUDIO – EVENING WYCC TV News Anchor John Albright, tall, male white, 40, black hair, sits at his desk before TV cameras and concludes his World Evening News telecast. JOHN ALBRIGHT And finally before I close, we here at WYCC TV News Studio has learned from reliable sources that shortly, you, the TV audience, will be saturated with a new sordid presentation of the news. In your homes, on your TV sets in the present of your children, you’ll be exposed to female correspondents presenting the news and weather forecast in flimsy bikinis; “Ladies Give Them the Naked News”. We alert you of this impending tawdry version of news telecasting, not because we’re jealous of unwanted competition, but on the contrary, we forewarn you because we believe tasteless news reporting should not be presented under the guise of professional broadcasting. And be advised, a poll of all mews outlets indicate that TV News Studio WLNN will fail. I’m John Albright reporting, good night. TWO WEEKS LATER
EXT – NEW YORK CITY – OFFICE BUILDING – 319 EAST 48TH STREET – MORNING A host of News Photographers and TV Cameramen hoist their cameras. They shoot and film the exterior signs posted upon Arthur’s five stories TV News’s building: “WLNN TV NEWS” - “LADIES GIVE THEM the NAKED NEWS”.
INT – 5th FLOOR – WLNN CEO OFFICE – MORNING Arthur sits at his desk in his WLNN Studio office conferring with Billy and Charlie. Many employees stick their heads into the office and wish Arthur good luck.
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ARTHUR (Smiling) Come on fellows, we start broadcasting soon; let’s make our rounds and see if everything is in order. Arthur, Billy and Charlie rise and leave to check the workers’ progress. INT – THIRD FLOOR – MAIN STUDIO – LOUNGE AREA Arthur, Charlie and Billy enter the lounge area; fifty young blonds and brunettes sit around in colorful bikinis concealed under bathrobes. Upon seeing Arthur and his cohorts, the girls all leap up and scream with excitement. Arthur speaks to the stage manager, Sue Razor, a 25-years- old, tall blond, also wearing a bikini under her bathrobe. ARTHUR (Smiling) Hello Sue and hi girls. Sue how’s everything going?
SUE (Grinning) Hi Art, everything is going just great; we’ll be ready to telecast our maiden news program at twelve-noon.
ARTHUR That’s great Sue we’ll all be ready and raring to go. Arthur, Billy and Charlie walk over to the giggling girls. ARTHUR (Touches girls hands) Okay girls don’t be nervous; in two hour you will shock the world and each of you will become famous in your own right. I’ll see you at twelve. Arthur leaves with his aides.
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TWO HOURS LATER INT – THIRD FLOOR – MAIN STUDIO – STAGE – NOON A large stage beautifully decorated with colorful flowers, artfully complemented with a large colorful skyline of New York City. Art stands at a microphone before a bevy of TV cameras. Male Journalists stand off stage. Fifty female correspondents, blonds and brunettes, stand in a long line attired in bathrobes covering their colorful bikinis. Two transparent lecterns sit on stage near a weather map. At twelve-noon, Director Peg Ross drops her right hand and music plays: “Theme from the Apartment”. As the music volume eases, Arthur begins speaking to the world. ARTHUR (Wide Smile) Greetings America and the world, welcome to WLNN News Studio where we are commencing our maiden twenty-four hour news program entitled: “Ladies Give Them the Naked News. Yes, WLNN is prepared to telecast quality news with an innovative twist; our version of excellence news presentation will be cleverly written and aired by a stable of lovely ladies gorgeously attired in colorful bikinis. And ladies and gentlemen around the globe, meet the lovely, elegantly news correspondents, who’re destined to revolutionize news dissemination as you now know it. Art points to his crop of news media beauties. ARTHUR (Yells) Yea! All of you out there in TV land; I want you to know that all of these talented ladies were once rejected by all of the major cable and TV news networks. But here at WLNN TV news, we’ve devised a modern-day news venue for their zealous debut. Yes, we’ll not place these lovely correspondents behind thick, obtrusive news desks, but on the contrary, we will display these ladies out before the cameras, so you can ogle their infinite beauty.
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All of the Journalists applaud loudly. ARTHUR (Grinning) Now the moment has arrived, ladies and gentlemen around the globe in TV land and on this new horizon of feminity on the tube, I simply utter: “Ladies Give Them the Naked News”. Music plays: “The Theme from the Apartment”. Meanwhile, all of the fifty, female news correspondents flip open and remove their bathrobes, revealing fifty lovely voluptuous bodies, adorned in vibrant colored bikinis. The male Journalists standing off stage applaud wildly as the new female correspondents smile broadly. ARTHUR Now the ladies will go backstage and put away their outer garments. The giggling ladies skip off stage. ARTHUR Let me just say while the girls are backstage, since the inception of news broadcasting on radio, around the early twenties, the spirit, quality and integrity of its production has been governed by men. But now, amid the cyberspace era, a media metamorphose loom before us; now the veracity of TV news and weather forecast rest on the vibrant lips of female reporters, directors and producers. The wild male Journalists burst into a thunderous applause as the giggling girls gyrates their curvaceous asses while returning onstage. ARTHUR Now, as CEO of WLNN TV News Studio, I give you the starting lineup or the corresponding pioneers who’ll inaugurate our first news cast. Ladies, when I call your name please take your station. First, we have our co-anchors, Diane Saddle and Katie Cousin.
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Diane and Katie, tall blonds, 25, both sashay over and stand in front of individual transparent news lecterns. ARTHUR At our foreign affairs lectern we have News Correspondent Charlene Charleston. Charlene, a tall blond, 30, sashays over and stands in front of the foreign affairs lectern. ARTHUR At our weather map we have Meteorologist Paula Zenith. Paula, a short blond, 22, sashays over and stands in front of the weather map. ARTHUR At our local news lectern we have News Correspondent Bridget Willet. Bridget, a blond, med. height, 35, sashays over and stands in front of the local news lectern. ARTHUR At our Capitol Hill lectern we have News Correspondent Maggie Reid. Maggie, med. Height blond, 40, sashays over and stands in front of the Capitol Hill Lectern. ARTHUR At our State Department lectern we have News Correspondent Sarah Wallet. Sarah, a tall brunette, 27, sashays over and stands in front of the State Department lectern. ARTHUR At our Hollywood lectern we have News Correspondent Sally Winston. Sally, a shirt brunette, 28, sashays over and stands in front of the Hollywood lectern. ARTHUR And finally, we have the staff that you will also see on camera sultrily attired in bikinis: Director Peg Ross, Stage manager Sue Razor and Producer Mary Belton, Camera-ladies Lois Turner,
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Cecil Ralston and Carol Cavern. The staff all tall lovely blonds, step forth and swiftly snatch away their robes, displaying an exhibit of elegant, well sculptured bodies. The antsy male Journalists applaud crazily. ARTHUR Now, I turn you over to our announcer who will officially introduce our line- up, our maiden program. I give you our announcer Kim North. Arthur walks off stage. Music theme is played: “Theme from the Apartment”. WLNN promotion tape is displayed: a blue sky hovers above, two blond women stand attired in bikinis, each holding a globe high above her head. Head Announcer Kim North, a short shapely brunette, 28, snatches opens her bathrobe, displaying her gorgeous body. She tosses her robe to an aide and strolls over to a transparent lectern; she begins her opening announcements. ANNOUNCER KIM NORTH From WLNN TV News Studio in New York City, “Ladies Give Them the Naked News”, is brought to you by “Space Ship Travels” and “Aloe Vera Sunburn Cream”, two of America most trusted firms. Here now are now Diane Saddle and Katie Cousin with the news. Diane. Correspondent Diane Saddle and Katie Cousin, stand in their bikinis at their transparent lecterns. CORRESPONDENT DIANE SADDLE (Smile, winks at the camera) Good afternoon, I’m Diane Saddle with your afternoon report. Today in Washington, the House impeached embattled President Radcliff for high crimes. For more on that development, we go live to our Capitol Hill News Correspondent, Maggie Reid.
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EXT – WASHINGTON D.C. – FRONT OF THE CAPITOL – AFTERNOON Correspondent Maggie Reid, fully clothes, a tall brunette, stands holding a mike in front of the capitol before TV Cameras. CORRESPONDENT MAGGIE REID (Stern) Yes, Diane, minutes ago, the full House voted overwhelmingly to impeach President Sam Radcliff for accepting bribe and ordering illegal wiretapping of former, Black United State senator, Ray Jones, who was earlier exonerated for alleged money laundering. Now President Radcliff’s case goes to the U.S. Senate for trial. Now back to Diane in New York. INT – NEW YORK CITY – MAIN STUDIO – STAGE - AFTERNOON
CORRESPONDENT DIANE SADDLE Thanks Maggie, we now turn to my co- anchor, Katie Cousin, Katie.
CORRESPONDENT KATIE COUSIN Thanks, Diane, today in Israel, the long obstinate battle between the Palestinians and the Israelis has once again raised its hideous head. We now go to our Israeli Correspondent Gloria Schumer, who’s fully clothes, as she report live from Israel’s west bank. EXT – ISRAEL - WEST BANK – NIGHT Correspondent Gloria Schumer, a tall blond, stands holding a mike before TV Cameras reporting from the west bank. CORRESPONDENT GLORIA SCHUMER (Stern) Thanks Katie, as you can see it’s now quiet and dark here on the west bank, but late this afternoon, there was heavy gun fire and scatter mortar fire, which resulted in ten Israeli soldiers and ten Palestinians being killed.
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Tomorrow, leaders are expected to meet and sort out a peace agreement. This is Gloria Schumer reporting from Israel. INT – NEW YORK CITY – MAIN STUDIO – STAGE – AFTERNOON Correspondent Diane Saddle resumes. CORRESPONDENT DIANE SADDLE Now we’re going to our weather map and join the all enticing Meteorologist, Paula Zenith, Paula, take it away. Meteorologist Paula glides closer to the map; she slowly gyrate her hips; she turns winks and smile. Paula points to the national weather map. METEOROLOGIST PAULA ZENITH Thanks, Diane. Well, folks, as we look at the North West region, we can see that the Washington and Oregon areas are once again stuck in a sweltering drought with no relief seen on the horizon. In the southeast, once again the nation braces for a category #5 hurricane, as hurricane Bertha leaves Cuba and heads toward Miami Beach. Meanwhile, the rest of the nation can breathe a sigh of relief, as they bask in a streak of comfortable sunshine, with no immediate precipitation lurking aloft. That’s the weather for this afternoon and now back to Diane.
CORRESPONDENT DIANE SADDLE Thanks, Paula, Katie will take it.
CORRESPONDENT KATIE COUSIN Thanks, Diane. To all of you beachgoers out there, hang around because we have some vital information that will heal your blistering skin. Now we go to our Health Correspondent, Susan Ocean. Susan, a six feet blond, walks slowly on stage wearing a red thong and matching halter. She carries in her hand a towel and a tube of Aloe Vera Soothing Cream for sunburns. Susan stops suddenly and glares at the camera.
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HEALTH CORRESPONDENT SUSAN OCEAN (Broad smile, sultry voice) Hello, ladies, I’m Susan. Are you self- conscious about those reddish-itchy sunburns around your arms and thighs? Well, do I have the remedy for you? I have in my hand a tube of Aloe Vera Soothing Cream for sunburns. You simply squeeze and apply Aloe Vera Soothing Cream around the affected areas and tomorrow, you look as elated, fresh and smooth as I. Look and pay attention as I demonstrate. INT – LOS ANGELES – APARTMENT – PARLOR – AFTERNOON Three middle-age white women sit in a parlor watching TV: Susan prepares to apply Aloe Vera. The women all sit with their mouths agape; they’re impressed. The ladies leap up laughing and slap five with each other. ONE OF THE LADIES (Laughing) Girls, this is a great news concept. They give quality news and all of the Correspondents are gorgeous. INT – MIAMI – APARTMENT – PARLOR – AFTERNOON A white husband and wife sit in their parlor watching TV: Susan prepares to apply Aloe Vera. The wife looks over at husband and shakes her head in amazement. WIFE Honey, this news program is one hell of a format. Husband looks at wife and replies. HUSBAND Yes, darling, and it’s long over do; and the gals are lovely too. The wife rolls her eyes at her husband.
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WIFE Yes, are you watching the news or the women’s asses? They both chuckle. INT – NEW YORK CITY – MAIN STUDIO – STAGE – AFTERNOON Susan put the towel down on the floor and lays down on her back. She squeezes a dab of Aloe Vera Cream into her hand; she now stares at the camera as she raises her right leg and methodically applies the Aloe Vera to her leg and thighs and then her arms and stomach. Susan rises to a sitting position, points her finger at the camera and speaks to the TV audience. HEALTH CORRESPONDENT SUSAN OCEAN (Stern expression) Okay, ladies, try this solution today and I guarantee your estranged lovers will fall back into your arms before the Rooster crows at dawn. INT – BOISE IDAHO – PARLOR – AFTERNOON Two white teenagers sit in the dining room watching Susan on TV applying Aloe Vera to her body. One of the girls remarks to the other. TEENAGE WHITE GIRL (Elated) Hey, these beautiful ladies make the news worth watching, especially for us teenager.
TEENAGE WHITE GIRL (Exuberant) Yea, now we can learn of politic and world events all while relishing informative commercials.
EXT – NEW YORK CITY – 42ND STREET & TIMESQUARE - AFTERNOON A large crowd of tourists and New Yorkers look up at a giant TV screen watching Susan applying Aloe Vera to her body. An elderly gray-hair man yells out. ELDERLY WHITE MAN To hell with the major networks and cable news, I’m going home to watch
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these pretty gals. A young white man replies. YOUNG WHITE MAN Hey Pops, you can’t handle those gals. A Middle-age white woman makes a remark. MIDDLE-AGE WHITE WOMAN There goes TV cable and network news.
YOUNG WHITE WOMAN (Scream) Yes, this female news network is here to stay, just like rock & roll, hooray!
INT – NEW YORK CITY – 5TH FLOOR – WLNN CEO OFFICE – EVENING Art sits in his office smoking a cigar with his feet propped upon his desk. Billy and Charlie sit near the desk also smoking cigars. Billy turns on the TV and they watch the girls render the news. Art’s happy eyes meet those of his cronies as they break into a loud thunderous laugh. ARTHUR (Grinning) Well, boys, we’re on our way to media stardom. Look out cable and network news you better file for bankruptcy because we’re running all of you out of the media business. Billy looks at Arthur with tears in his eyes. BILLY (Weeping) Boss, you’ve accomplished something that I’m sure many thought was unimaginable, but you kept the faith and now you’ve astonished the world, congratulation! Charles also wipes tears from his eyes. CHALRES (Weeping) Damn, Billy, you’ve caused me to cry. But anyway, boss, congratulation and you’re a genius and you’ve certainly made a believer out of me!
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Now, Arthur rises up from his seat, pulls out a handkerchief and wipes his eyes.
ARTHUR (Weeping) Now, you see, both of you weeping bastards have made me shed a few tears. Well, anyway, thanks fellows for all of your input and the confident you placed in me and I’m forever grateful. So, guys, let’s call it a day and go home, I’ll see you both in the morning. The tired gentlemen exit through the door. INT – NEW YORK CITY – ARTHUR’S RESIDENT - APARTMENT BUILDING – 6TH FLOOR – NIGHT Apartment #6B, Arthur inserts his key into the lock, opens the door, enters the apartment and places his briefcase on the floor. His wife, Doris, a white brunette, 40, 5ft-5, runs to the door embraces and kisses Arthur passionately. Doris steps back smiling, she quickly opens her bathrobe revealing a yellow bikini, which accentuates her fabulous body. Arthur eyes budges and opens wider; he’s speechless. DORIS (Wide grin) You see, honey, those young babes have nothing on mama. Oh, darling, I saw your news program today; it was awesome and so exceptionally innovative. Oh, Art, I love you so very much and I’m so proud of you. Arthur, looking haggard, walks slowly towards the sofa. Doris follows him. Arthur turns and hugs Doris. ARTHUR Thanks, baby, but without your confidence in my efforts, I’m sure my quest would’ve been fruitless and I’m so proud of you, thanks again. Arthur releases Doris and slumps down on the sofa. ARTHUR (Deep sigh)
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Doris, can you prepare me a stiff drink? Doris gives an admiring gaze. DORIS Sure darling. Doris enters the kitchen; she returns shortly, serves Arthur and sits next to him. Arthur takes a big gulp of his drink. Doris grabs the remote and turns on Arthur’s news program; they watch the female correspondents render the news. DORIS Art, that theme song of your program, I want to know the name of it? Arthur looks at Doris and smiles. ARTHUR Oh, you like it, do you? Everybody is inquiring about it. Well, it’s call the “Theme from the Apartment”; a 1960 movie starring Jack Lemmon, Shirley MacLaine and Fred McMurray.
DORIS (Sneaky smile) I’m crazy about it as well. You know, Art, on another note, I received several calls from my girlfriends and they advised me to beware of all those hot, curvy news correspondents on your news program. Arthur pulls Doris into his arms. ARTHUR Sweetheart, you just tell your nosy girlfriends that they need not worry, because old Art only has eyes for you.
DORIS Oh that’s so sweet my love and you know, right now I’m feeling so guilty. Arthur releases Doris and looks curiously at her. ARTHUR Guilty, what are you feeling guilty about, Doris?
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Doris bows her head. DORIS Well, I feel so ashamed that I didn’t attend your trial before you went to prison. But please forgive me; I was so angry with you for torching your own building. Arthur leans over and strokes Doris hair as she begins to weep. ARTHUR (Consoling) That’s okay darling, all is forgiving; and I was a bad, stupid boy. And Doris, my dear, yesterday has gone. So let’s forget yesterday and strive eagerly for a successful today and a superior tomorrow. Doris looks passionately into Arthur’s eyes. DORIS Thanks honey. They kiss passionately. INT – NEW YORK CITY – WABE TV THE BREAKFAST SHOW – MORNING Glen Rodgers, young white man of 35, host of The Breakfast Show, sits at his desk before TV Cameras and concludes his interview with special guest, gossip columnist, Ray Ingram, a middle-age white man. HOST GLEN RODGERS Ray Ingram, the nation most renowned gossip columnist, the whole country, as well as the entire world is buzzing about this innovative news format featuring all female correspondents: “Ladies Give Them the Naked News”. What do you think of it? Ray shakes his head in amazement. He gets up, walks around and sits back down.
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RAY INGRAM (Amiable, takes a deep sigh) Glen, I’ll tell you, I wish I had conceived this clever concept of news telecasting. But meanwhile, that form of news dissemination has taken the nation by storm. The TV Watch Poll indicates a whopping 80% of the TV audience watched the inaugural broadcast. However, I don’t think WLNN can maintain that elevated status. But I do believe those bikini-clad news correspondents will give cable and network news a run for their money.
HOST GLEN RODGERS Finally, Ray, do you think the female correspondents’ sexual attire will distract the TV audience from the essence or cohesiveness of the news?
RAY INGRAM (Stern) No, I don’t, because most news pundits are rather tired of watching the same old cruddy assembly of condescending white men, always spinning the news according to their self-ideology. So, the all female news correspondents are refreshing and they possess no partisan politics to advocate. Now we can sit back and ingest and digest the raw news as it is rendered, not as it was selfishly twisted and diced. Glen reaches and shakes Ray’s hand. HOST GLEN RODGERS Ray, I want to thanks you for appearing on The Breakfast Show and please come back again.
RAY INGRAM Thank you for having me. INT – NEW YORK CITY - GOOD MORNING TALK SHOW – MORNING TV talk show host, Mary Gibbs, a white female of 40, sits at her desk before TV Cameras and concludes her interview
40 41 with political advisor, Sarah Motley. HOST MARY GIBBS Sarah, Motley, one of the most astute political advisors in Washington, an all female news format, will it work? Will it stand the test of time? Sarah rubs her chin in disgust. SARAH MOTLEY Mary, with all due respect, I’m sure that type of question wasn’t inquired of men when they initiated news telecasting. It’s just that these news ladies are voluptuous and are draped in skimpy attire, so what? Mary looks surprised. HOST MARY GIBBS But Sarah, what about the kids? Again, Sarah rubs her chin in disgust. SARAH MOTLEY Again, Mary, with all due respect, let me just inquire this of you. Haven’t you seen the scanty attire worn by these young, steamy, teenage girls? Hell, they teach you, me and those bikini-clad correspondents a few tricks, or you kidding me?
HOST MARY GIBBS Finally, Sarah is this just a fad in media reporting, if so, how long will it last?
SARAH MOTLEY Mary, let me reply in this manner. With emphasis placed on provocative commercials, Hollywood gossip, accurate weather reporting and non-partisan news reporting, men and women alike will gravitate to this modern-day news concept. And that’s not all, I’m sure in the near future, a bevy of media copycats will sprout up and challenge Art Corbin and WLNN TV.
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HOST MARY GIBBS Well, Sarah, I want to express my deep gratitude to you for sharing your acute insight on this most astonishing news event in media dissemination. Please come back again.
SARAH MOTLEY Thanks, Mary, I shall return. INT – NEW YORK CITY – TV TALK SHOW – NIGHT TV talk show host Jay Belton, a white male, 45, sits at his desk before TV Cameras and a live audience. Sitting across from Jay at separate desks are Jay’s guests, Ellen Gray, female white, 35, a lesbian attired in men clothing, of World News Tomorrow Magazine and Joyce Peters, female white, 40, of Southern News Today Newspaper. Jay concludes his interview with both guests. HOST JAY BELTON Joyce Peters of Southern News Today Newspaper, what do you think of WLNN news production: “Ladies Give Them the Naked News”?
JOYCE PETERS (Angry, yells) Well, damn, Jay, I think that concept stinks and it’s an affront to all normal and moralistic people. In addition, I blame Senator Earl Payne, because he single handedly pushed through the bill which enabled these Strip teasers to perform with vulgar on the world stage! The audience applauds wildly. Jay wipes his brow. HOST JAY BELTON (Excited) Whew! It’s getting hot in here! Now, Ellen Gray, of World News Tomorrow Magazine, how do you reply to Joyce’s torrid rebuke of the innovative news format with bikini girls? The audience applauds wildly. Jay wipes his brow again.
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ELLEN GRAY (Affable) Jay, I like that news concept and I hope more of these types of news configurations spring up. It’s new, different, challenging, informative, non partisan and the gals are gorgeous. The audience again applauds wildly. Jay rises from his seat and fans himself with a magazine; he later sits back down. HOST JAY BELTON (Stern) Hey, audience do you feel the temperature rising? Well, Joyce, Ellen seems to approve of the news program layout and she admires the gorgeous girls. What’s your reply to Ellen’s favorable attitude toward the news program? Joyce rises up angry from her seat and points a finger at Ellen. JOYCE (Raving mad) Hell, Jay, what in the hell do you expect from this misfit; she’s a damn lesbian! The audience breaks out yelling for a fight. Jays stands up and tries to silent the audience; finally the audience falls silent; Jay sits down. HOST JAY BELTON (Speaks softly) Ellen, do you have a reply because Joyce became personal and I apologize. Ellen rises abruptly from her seat, points a finger at Joyce, as both guests glare at each other. ELLEN (Raving mad) So, what’s wrong with being a lesbian? I’m out of the closet and I want the whole world to know I love women!
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Joyce runs over to Ellen and grabs her hair; both guests tussle around on the floor as security officers rush over and untangle the battling women. INT – NEW YORK CITY – MAIN STUDIO – STAGE – MORNING Bikini-clad Announcer Kim North, steps to the lectern. ANNOUNCER KIM NORTH (Smiling) Let’s go to our co-anchors, Correspondents Diane Saddle and Katie Cousin, ladies, take it away. Diane and Katie, clad in bikinis, prances over to their individual lectern. CORRESPONDENT KATIE COUSIN (Smiling) Hello, America, lately there has been a rash of robbery and burglary on Long Island. Let’s go to our local news Correspondent, Bridget Willet. Bikini-clad Bridget strolls over to the local news lectern. CORRESPONDENT BRIDGET WILLET (Smiling) Thanks, Katie, as Katie mentioned, on ritzy Long Island, an array of usual tranquil communities has been awakened by an onslaught of push-in burglaries and armed robberies. We now go to our Long Island Correspondent, Janis Brooks. Janis. EXT – LONG ISLAND NEW YORK – RESIDENTIAL COMMUNITY – MORNING In Jasper Township, in front of a swanky house on Mitchell Road, Correspondent Janis Brooks, fully clothes, stands holding a mike in front of a TV camera. CORRESPONDENT JANIS BROOKS Thanks, Bridget, I’m standing in front of a posh home where last night burglars pushed their way into the home, tied up the owner and escaped
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after stealing a large sum of cash. INT – NEW YORK CITY – MAIN STUDIO – STAGE - MORNING
CORRESPONDENT BRIDGET WILLET Janis, how’s the investigation going? Are there any progress being made? EXT – LONG ISLAND – RESIDENTIAL COMMUNITY - MORNING
CORRESPONDENT JANIS BROOKS Yes, Bridget, I’ve just learned from Detective Jack Ripley of the burglary task force that they have accrued some excellent leads and an arrest is imminent. Bridget, let me speak to this elderly woman from the community. Elderly white woman with a cane approaches Janis; Janis raises the mike to the woman and poses questions. CORRESPONDENT JANIS BROOKS Hello, I’m Janis Brooks of “Ladies Give Them the Naked News”, have you heard of us? The elderly woman looks up at Janis and smile. ELDERLY WHITE WOMAN Certainly, we all watch you beautiful gals.
CORRESPONDENT JANIS BROOKS Tell, me, what do you think of the recent rash of burglaries and robberies in your community? Elderly woman looks sad, drops her head and begins to cry. ELDERLY WHITE WOMAN I’m frightened! Nothing ever happens like that around here! You know, I’m not prejudice, but since certain people move here from Harlem and the Bronx, we’re afraid to venture outside. The old lady limps away down the street wiping her eyes. CORRESPONDENT JANIS BROOKS (Stern)
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That’s it from Long Island, Bridget, back to you at the local news lectern. INT – NEW YORK CITY – MAIN STUDIO – STAGE - MORNING
CORRESPONDENT BRIDGET WILLET Thanks, Janis, now back to Katie. Katie.
CORRESPONDENT KATIE COUSIN Okay, Bridget, now to my co-anchor, Correspondent Diane Saddle.
CORRESPONDENT DIANE SADDLE (Smiling) Now on the lighter side of life, we hear from our movie industry gossip. For that, we go to our Hollywood Correspondent, Sally Winston. Sally. Bikini-clad Sally twists her hips and goes to the lectern. CORRESPONDENT SALLY WINSTON Thank you, Diane. Diane, we have a major divorce in Los Angeles and angry tempers flares. For more on that story, we go to our Sunset Strip Correspondent, Tiffany Baker. Tiffany. EXT – LOS ANGELES – SUNSET STRIP & MYRTLE AVE. – MORNING Correspondent Tiffany Baker, fully clothes, stands at the intersection with a mike facing a TV Camera. CORRESPONDENT TIFFANY BAKER Hello Hollywood fans, once again we’re laughing as another crazy Hollywood couple is divorcing after only a six months marriage. But here’s the climax, late last night, at this very famous intersection, the husband, Actor Larry Pierce, fought fiercely with Actor James Rooks, who’s alleged to be the new man in the life of wife, Clara Miller. It’s reported that both bloody Actors were arrested and are now lounging in a Los Angeles jail. That’s all we have today, but you know Hollywood, there’s bound to be another tumultuous story tomorrow; so stay tune. Now back to Correspondent Sally
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Winston in New York. INT – NEW YORK CITY – MAIN STUDIO – STAGE – MORNING CORRESPONDENT SALLY WINSTON Now, we go back to co-anchor Diane Saddle.
DIANE SADDLE Thanks, Sally, we’re going to take a brief pause so that all of the stations around the nation can identify themselves.
INT – NEW YORK CITY – 5TH FLOOR – WLNN CEO OFFICE - MORNING Arthur sits in his office smoking a cigar and reading the morning papers. The door is closed; Arthur hears a knock at the door; Arthur looks up and spots a young Black woman, 25, tall, well dressed in a tan trench coat. He motions for her to enter and she does. ARTHUR (Stern) Yes, how may I help you?
YOUNG BLACK WOMAN (Affable, smiling) Good morning sir, I’m Cathy Riggins and I’m seeking a position as a news correspondent.
ARTHUR I’m Arthur Corbin, CEO. What makes you qualified to work for me? Cathy becomes nervous. CATHY Well, sir, I’m a college grad, I’ve seen the female correspondents on your news program and I’m confident I have more to offer than all of your girls, combine. Mr. Corbin, look at this. Cathy opens up her trench coat and reveals a most beautiful symmetry of well endowed chocolate ass, tits and thighs. A shocked Arthur drops his newspaper and eagerly gulps down a cup of coffee. Charlie and Billy enter and witness Cathy’s voluptuous body. Finally, art composes himself.
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ARTHUR (Mixed emotions) Cathy, yes, you’re shapelier than all of my white girls, but to be honest with you, I must think of my white audience. I can’t envision one Black girl slinging her ass and upstaging an array of white beauties. By the way, are you from some affirmative action program? And another thing, Cathy, if I hire you, then I would soon be exposed to your ghetto drama and rap music. (Yells) No, I can’t hire you; I’m sorry! Billy, escort her out of here! Cathy drops her head, slowly buttons her coat as Billy escorts her to the door. Arthur explains to Billy and Charlie. ARTHUR (Excited, screams) Damn! You see, fellows, now my goose is cook! I’m finished! Billy and Charlie’s confused eyes meet. CHARLIE What do you mean, Art? Arthur bangs his hand on the desk.
ARTHUR (Irate, yells) I can’t work with Niggers! You know, fellows, I’m not a racist, but in the past, every time I associated with a Nigger, in any capacity, my luck took a deep dive, southward! So, Damn! I couldn’t afford to hire Cathy, although she’s a glamorous girl! I hope Cathy isn’t emblematical of a black cat crossing my path! Lord, am I’m destined to have financial failure? Lord, I wonder! I wonder! I wonder!
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TWO MONTHS LATER - WINTER EXT – NEW YORK CITY – FRONT OF WLNN TV STUDIO – AFTERNOON In the snow, in front of WLNN TV News building, a bevy of TV Cameramen and News Reporters, film and interview fifty white women, who carry placards while marching and demonstrating peacefully, against WLNN TV News’ for negatively portraying women as sluts in bikinis. Some of the placards reads; COVER UP YOUR BODIES, WHERE’S YOUR DECENCY? STRIPPERS GO HOME, SLUTS ON TV, MAKING MOCKERY OF THE NEWS, TAKE WLNN OFF THE AIR, YANK THEIR BROADCAST LICENSE. Radio commentator George Parker, male white, 50, holds a mike in his hand as he interviews Grace Morton, female white, 45, head of the group; Women against Indecency on TV. RADIO COMMENTATOR GEORGE PARKER I’m George Parker of WYNA radio and I’m about to interview the head of this group demonstrating against bikini-clad women on TV. Grace Morton, you’re the president of this group; Women against Indecency on TV. What does your group hope to accomplish by demonstrating?
GRACE MORTON (Fiery, screams) Damn right! We hope to stop these hussies from falsely representing themselves as news correspondents and we hope to have WLNN’S broadcasting license lifted for exposing such indecency while masquerading as a legitimate news program!
RADIO COMMENTATOR GEORGE PARKER Grace, to be honest with you, I’ve never heard of your group. Do you have the political wherewithal and perseverance to combat such a formidable Cable TV entity?
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GRACE MORTON (Feisty) Certainly, George, we have staying political power; we have sisters demonstrating on Capital Hill and we shall topple this counterfeit news program!
RADIO CORESSPONDENT GEORGE PARKER Thank you Grace, good luck and now we go to our radio correspondent Clarice Maples on Capital Hill. Clarice. EXT – WASHINGTON D.C. – CAPITOL HILL - FRONT OF CONGRESS BUILDING - AFTERNOON One hundred white women of the organization: “Women against Indecency on TV” demonstrate and chant in front of the congressional building. Radio Correspondent Clarice Maples stands with a mike and interviews Teresa Hope, female white, 45, vice president of the group. RADIO CORRESPONDENT CLARICE MAPLES Ms. Teresa Hope, as vice president of “Women against Indecency against on TV”, what’s your goal here in Washington and how do you expect to influence congress to hear your plea and intercede on your behalf?
TERESA HOPE (Yells, throws up her hands) Ms. Maples, we’ve already spoken to several Congresspersons and Senators! We’ve asserted our displeasure with vulgar, bikini-clad women posing as newscasters on TV! It’s demoralizing to our children and it sets a sleazy example! But we’re pressing for an investigation of Senator Earl Payne, because it was his legislation that made possible this charade, which masquerade as authentic news! Yea! Senator Payne must go!
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RADIO CORRESPONDENT CLARICE MAPLES Teresa, Senator Payne is a powerful senator with tenure; how do you propose to get rid of the Senator?
TERESA HOPE (Furious, scream) Ms. Maples, let me advise you of something, many powerful Senators and Representatives have fallen by the wayside due to their greed and arrogance of power and my prophecy denotes that Senator Payne will suffer a similar demise!
RADIO CORRESPONDENT CLARICE MAPLES Ms. Hope, I want to thank you for your sincerity and determination; we will be monitoring your progress. INT – NEW YORK CITY – WLNN CEO OFFICE – MORNING AFTERNOON Arthur sits in his office at his desk talking on the phone. Billy and Charlie sit chatting at a nearby desk. Suddenly, all of the men look up in shock at the TV, as they hear the name Cathy Riggins. They look up at the TV and see Cathy Riggins, the black woman who Art refused to hire because of her ethnicity. Cathy is being interviewed on a talk show. INT – NEW YORK CITY – EVENING TV TALK SHOW – AFTERNOON TV Talk Show Host Rita Billow, female white, 30, of WYCN TV sits at her desk concluding her interview with black newscaster Cathy Riggins, who sits across from her. HOST RITA BILLOW And finally, Cathy, I’m told you once applied for one of the news correspondents’ slot at Art Corbin TV station WLNN and he rejected you. Cathy looks confident. CATHY Yes, he did.
HOST RITA BILLOW (Smiling) Well, Cathy, we see that within two months, on TV station WCTA evening
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news, you’ve brought the news ratings to within one points of Art Corbin’s hot news program. So, Cathy, why did Art Corbin reject you? Cathy shifts her body to the edge of the seat. CATHY (Frown, bangs on the desk) Rita, it seems that Mr. Corbin has an aversion to black women distracting from the elegant symmetry of his white, sultry newscasters! In addition, Mr. Corbin feared that I would expose him to the egregious cacophony of rap music! Rita shifts her body to the edge of her seat. HOST RITA BILLOW (Frown) Cathy, are you kidding me?
CATHY (Weeping) I kid you not Rita and I’m here to attest that despite the instinctive denial by whites, racism is as alive as in 1619. Although the shackles and the hangman’s noose are retired, yet the acid tongues of the racist remain as acute and deadly as the slave master’s slashing whip. Rita begins to weep as both women wipe their tears. HOST RITA BILLOW (Solemn) Well, Cathy, I know God said revenge is mine, but I sincerely hope you’re going to share some of God’s revenge as you proceed to topple Art Corbin from his number one ratings in the TV polls. And Cathy, please come back to see us. Cathy offers a broad smile. CATHY I shall and thanks for having me.
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INT – NEW YORK CITY – WLNN CEO OFFICE - AFTERNOON CHARLIE (Mouth agape) Damn, Charlie, Cathy that young Black girls you refused to hire is now an ace correspondent on WCTA TV Evening news and she’s breathing up your ass in the ratings. Arthur, lights up a cigar, takes a drag and angrily tosses an ash tray to the floor. BILLY (Glaring at Arthur) Yea, Art, just look at beautiful, elegant, Black newscaster, she’s only one point behind you. Arthur becomes even fierier. ARTHUR I don’t give a damn about that Nigger gal! And I’ve reached a conclusion that you guys are becoming nuisances! Who sides are you on, anyway? Remember, I brought you guys up through the ranks of broadcasting! But anyway, on second thought, both of you get the hell out of my office; you’re fired! Billy and Charlie eyes meet; they glare at Art as Art swirls around in his chair turning his back on his friends. Billy and Charlie slowly exit with bowed heads. INT – NEW YORK CITY – ARTHUR’S RESIDENT – PARLOR – NIGHT Arthur sits in the parlor sulking on the sofa; his wife, Doris, enters and sits next to him. DORIS Art, what is it honey? I’ve tried talking to you all evening and you just
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ignore me. Are you still in agony because the media is still hounding you for not hiring, Cathy, the Black girl? Well, Art, you should have hired Cathy. Cathy’s more qualified than the white newscasters and she’s not some reject from an affirmative action program. Arthur leaps up and throws a glass against the wall; he turns around with a grotesque scowl and yells at Doris, ARTHUR Fuck it! Everybody is against me since I didn’t hire that damn colored girl! I knew that Nigger would bring me bad luck; those people always do! The media is riding my ass! Billy and Charlie seem to be my nemeses and my own wife has become a Nigger lover! To hell with all of you, I’m going to bed. Arthur walks slowly upstairs. EXT – NEW YORK CITY – CENTRAL PARK – PARK BENCH – NOON Grace Morton and Teresa Hope officers of “Women against Indecency on TV” sit on a Central Park bench and conclude their complaints to Senator Wayne Troy, male white, 60 and Kenny Parks, male white, 55. GRACE MORTON (Serious) Senators Troy and Parks, as president and on behalf of our group: “Women against Indecency on TV”, I’ve given you a litany of grievances against indecency on TV and the corruption of Senator Earl Payne. We have feasible reasons to believe Senator Payne has accepted bribe which eventually opened the floor gates and enabled Arthur Corbin to introduce bikini-clad news correspondents on TV.
TERESA HOPE (Serious) And lastly, Senators, we’ve learned from liable sources that due to Arthur Corbin’s news program sudden drop in
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ratings, he’s desperately petitioning Senator Payne to introduce a bill before the senate, whereas he can introduce nudity news broadcasting. Senators, for the sake of our wholesome children, we must dethrone Senator Payne and put Arthur Corbin out of business.
SENATOR WAYNE TROY (Serious) Grace and Teresa, I thank both of you along with your members for alerting us about the alleged illicit activities of Senator Payne and Arthur Corbin’s effort to introduce even more sordid programs on TV.
SENATOR KENNY PARKS (Serious) Yes, ladies, we thank you for confiding in us with your confidential complaint and we’ll refer your complaint to the justice department; you shall soon hear from us as well as a justice department representative. And by the way, in a few months I expect America will have its first female president, Democrat Harriet Roosevelt and I understand she’s livid about the burgeoning smut on TV. If elected president, I’m sure President Harriet Roosevelt will lend her wholehearted support. They all smile, shake hands and depart in different directions. INT – NEW YORK CITY – JULIA’S CAFÉ – AFTERNOON Grace and Teresa sit in a booth and have finished their meal. GRACE (Frown) Teresa, you know, I really don’t trust politicians. And there’s something about Senator Troy and Parks that gives
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me a certain skeptical feeling. Teresa bangs her hand on the table. TERESA (Grimace) Damn, Grace, I think you’re reading my mind; I’m experiencing the same misgivings about both Senators. Grace, what should we do?
GRACE (Adamant) Teresa, I’ll tell you what we’re going to do; since we don’t trust the Senators, in two weeks, we’re going to personally convey our complaint to the justice department. Grace and Teresa laugh aloud, slap five, rise from the booth and exit the Café. TWO WEEKS LATER INT – WASHINGTON D.C. – U.S. ATTORNEY GENERAL OFFICE – EVENING U.S. Attorney General Ralph Walton, male white, 62, sits in his office at his desk across from Grace Morton and Teresa Hope. He concludes his session. U.S. ATTORNEY GENERAL WALTON (Affable) Ms. Morton and Ms. Hope, yes, I’ve heard of your organization, “Women against Indecency on TV” and I’m grateful you both came personally to render your complaint against Senator Earl Payne, Arthur Corbin, Mafia; Crazy Joe Bosco and Curt Bruiser campo. I will immediately prepare a dossier and assigned four of my best Agents to this case.
GRACE U.S. Attorney General Walton, I know you have a busy schedule, but let me propose one question before we depart.
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U.S. ATTORNEY GENERAL WALTON Go right ahead Ms. Morton. GRACE Did Senators Wayne Troy and Kenny Parks confer with you or any of your representatives regarding any of those sleazy characters we spoke of? The Attorney checks the files and replies. U.S. ATTORNEY GENERAL WALTON No, we don’t have anything on file regarding any of the subjects you mentioned. Teresa and Grace’s eyes meet. TERESA You see, Grace, I’m elated that we didn’t trust Senators Troy and Parks. Coming to Attorney Walton was a clever backup strategy. Grace and Teresa rise from their seats. Grace gives the Attorney General a suspicious glare and inquires. GRACE Now U.S. Attorney General Walton, I hope we can account on you to do the right thing, because if you don’t, we shall return. U.S. Attorney General Walton rises from his seat, shakes the women’s hands and replies. U.S. ATTORNEY GENERAL WALTON (Smile) Don’t worry ladies, as your devoted humble servant who lingers on the taxpayers’ payroll, I swear to do the right thing, that’s to investigate all federal criminal activities and complaints initiated and filed against all federal officials, even the President of these United States. INT – NEW YORK CITY – TONY’S PUB – AFTERNOON Toni’s Bar is nearly empty; two white males sit at the bar.
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Bartender and Bar owner, Tony Zero, white male, thin, 60, serves the customers as Crazy Joe Bosco and Curt Bruiser Campo enter and walk the end of the bar; Crazy Joe beckons for bartender Zero to come over. Zero finishes pouring a drink and goes to Crazy Joe. BARTENDER TONY ZERO (Friendly smile, nervous) Hello Crazy Joe and how are you Bruiser? Crazy Joe looks around curiously; puts his hand in pocket. CRAZY JOE (Scowl on face) Never mind hello! Next time I enter this damn bar, you stop what you’re doing and come to me, pronto! Do you understand, Tony? Bruiser looks around curiously; puts his hand in pocket. CRAZY JOE (Angry) Tony you missed your payment last week! Now you owe me one thousand! Let’s have it, now! Tony reaches under the counter nervously and retrieves a brown paper bag and presents it to Crazy Joe. BRUISER (Scowl on face) All of it better be in the bag! Tony shakes violently. TONY (Voice trembles) It’s all in the bag, Bruiser! Two customers look over at Tony; ones yell to Tony. BAR CUSTOMER (Drunk, slurred speech) Tony, is everything alright over there? Bruiser sneers at the drunken customer; walks over to him and yells into his ear. BRUISER Shut the hell up and mind your fucking
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business! The man shuts up. Crazy Joe beckons for Bruiser to exit the bar. Crazy Joe and Bruiser turn to exit the bar. Four young, white FBI Agents approach Crazy Joe and Bruiser from different areas; FBI Agent Fred Tatum yells. FBI FRED TATUM (Forceful) Crazy Joe and Bruiser, halt, FBI!
Crazy Joe and Bruiser whip out their guns and fire at the Agents; the Agents return fire. Tony the bartender and his two customer dive to the floor. Crazy Joe and Bruiser fall to the floor bleeding profusely as their guns tumble from their hands. The Agents cautiously approach the fallen hoods and kick their guns away. Two Agents feel the gunmen’s pulse. AGENT FRED TATUM This one, Bruiser is dead. What about Crazy Joe? Agent Sam Perkins replies. AGENT SAM PERKINS Hey Fred, Crazy Joe is barely alive.
AGENT FRED TATUM Sam, get an ambulance over here and one of you other guys get statements from the bar customers and Tony the bartender. INT – NEW YORK CITY – ARTHUR CORBIN’S RESIDENT – NIGHT Arthur sits in the kitchen at the dining room table. He hears the name Crazy Joe’s mentioned on the TV. Arthur dashes into the parlor, flops down on the sofa and watches the news. INT – NEW YORK CITY – WLNN TV STUDIO – NIGHT Standing poised at the local news lectern, bikini-clad news correspondent, Bridget Willet concludes her report regarding FBI shootout in Manhattan. CORRESPONDENT BRIDGET WILLET (Slight smile)
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Today in downtown Manhattan, while on a stakeout in Tony’s Pub, FBI Agents interrupted a mob strong-arm squeeze on a local bar owner and engaged two mafia gunmen in a fierce shootout. When the smoke cleared, one mob lieutenant of the Primo crime family, Curt Bruiser Campo, lay mortally wounded and Crazy Joe Bosco suffered wounds to his arm and leg. Reliable sources say Crazy Joe, Bruiser and an U.S. Senator were under investigation.
INT – NEW YORK CITY – ARTHUR CORBIN’S RESIDENT – NIGHT Arthur leaps up from the sofa and runs over to the bar and nervously pours himself a drink; he takes a stiff drink. Now Arthur lights up a cigar, takes a puff and paces the floor. Wife, Doris descends the stairs; she becomes shocked as she observes Arthur pacing backing and forth. DORIS (Paused, mouth agape) Arthur, what’s wrong dear? Why are you pacing the floor? Arthur continues pacing, takes a drink and puffs on his cigar. He turns to Doris and exclaims, loudly. ARTHUR Bruiser was killed by the FBI and Crazy Joe was wounded; he’s recovering in the hospital! Doris grabs Art’s hand; both sit down on the sofa. DORIS (Curious) So, what, we got rid of one mafia and I hope the other one dies, so what? Art, what does that have to do you? You’re not a mafia, are you? Arthur looks sincerely into his wife’s eyes and replies nervously. ARTHUR No, my dear, but I transacted business
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with Bruiser and Crazy Joe. How do you think I produced my news program? Doris looking more confused. DORIS Well, to simplify matters, Crazy Joe and Bruiser contracted Senator Earl Payne to specifically pass legislation which enabled me to produce my innovative news program featuring bikini-clad white beauties. Doris slumps backward and begins to sob. DORIS (Annoyed) Art, how could you? You spent five years in prison for torching your own office building and now you tell me you’re affiliated with the mob and a corrupted U.S. Senator? Art, I can’t believe you! You fired your exceptional allies, Charlie and Billy, but maintain camaraderie with unsavory characters! I’ve heard enough; I’m going to bed! Doris rises and goes upstairs; Arthur pours another drink.
TWO WEEKS LATER INT – NEW YORK CITY – HOSPITAL ROOM #633 – MORNING In room #633, unshaven prisoner, Crazy Joe Bosco, lie in bed with his eyes close. His left hand is cuffed to the bedrail. Bandages corral his right arm and leg. INT – HOSPITAL WARD – HALLWAY In the hallway in front of room #633 a police officer sits in a chair guarding prisoner, Crazy Joe Bosco. FBI Agents Fred Tatum and Sam Perkins enter the room. Agent Tatum walks over to the bed and squeezes Crazy Joe’s nose. AGENT FRED TATUM (Rude) Crazy Joe, wake up damit, you’ve rested long enough!
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Crazy Joe slowly opens his eyes and glares at the Agents. CRAZY JOE (Annoyed) Yea, what do you want? Agent leans over and gets closer to Crazy Joe’s face. AGENT FRED TATUM (Gruff voice) For starters, you and your dead pal, Bruiser tried to kill my partners and I! But we killed Bruiser and we’re here to finish you off! Crazy Joe’s eyes widen; he becomes frightened. Crazy Joe tries to sit up but he helplessly slides back down in the bed. CRAZY JOE (Nervous stutter) Oh, Agent, I didn’t mean it! It was bruiser who ordered me to fire upon you guys, didn’t you hear him? Agent Tatum’s eyes meet his partner, Agent Perkins; Agent Tatum winks at his partner. AGENT FRED TATUM (Annoyed) Come on, Crazy Joe, cut out the bullshit, Bruiser is not here to defend himself! Agent Perkins walks over to the other side of the bed. AGENT SAM PERKINS Yea, Crazy Joe, your buddy Bruiser decided to forsake you for his new pal, Satan and they now pal around in hell. Both Agents laugh aloud. AGENT FRED TATUM (Serious) Now Crazy Joe, listen to this, here’s the real picture. You’re now facing the grave charges of extortion, Possession of a weapon, attempting murder and bribery of a federal official, Senator
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Earl Payne.
AGENT FRED PERKINS (Slight laughter) Yea, Crazy Joe, and to further compound your criminal woes, you’ve violated your parole; that’s an additional ten years. Crazy Joe agonizes and begins to shake his head from side to side.
AGENT FRED TATUM (Slight laughter) Crazy Joe, according to my calculation, after your conviction, you’ll never see the outside world again. Crazy begins to cry; he wipes his eyes with his hand. Agent Perkins looks curiously at Agent Tatum. AGENT FRED PERKINS Agent Tatum, are you sure you’ve calculated Crazy Joe’s prison time adequately? Agent Tatum gives Agent Perkins a befuddled look. AGENT FRED TATUM No, Agent Perkins, I’m not sure, because after I reached one-hundred- years, I stop counting Crazy Joe’s accumulative years to be served in prison.
AGENT SAM PERKINS Well, Agent Tatum, what’s a doom man like Crazy Joe to do? Agent Tatum places his hand on Crazy Joe’s shoulder and offers kind advice. AGENT FRED TATUM Look, Crazy Joe, I tell you what, there’s an out for you and it’s your only out. And, Crazy Joe, I strongly advise you to utilize that option. Now,
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Crazy Joe, you asserted that you were sorry for trying to kill us. Now I don’t know about my partner, as for as I’m concerned, I believe you. So, I’m not going to kill you, because you’re going to give me the goods on that damn corrupted Senator, Earl Payne and WLNN TV News mogul, Arthur Corbin. Crazy Joe, am I correct? Crazy Joe face comes alive. CRAZY JOE Okay, Agent Tatum, anything you say; I will cooperate. INT – NEW YORK CITY – WYNB TV NEWS STUDIO – EVENING WYNB TV News Correspondent, Lou Regan, sits at his desk before TV cameras preparing to report the evening news. LOU REGAN Good evening, I’m WYNB TV News Correspondent Lou Regan with the evening news. Well, in New York City, TV News Correspondent, Cathy Riggins is no longer that rejected, ugly duckling applicant, who applied for a slot on Arthur Corbin’s news program: “Ladies Give Them the Naked News”. But on the contrary, Cathy’s now the beautiful, TV news queen and has surpassed the previous number one TV news program: “Ladies Give Them the Naked News”. Now, as anchor of WCTA TV evening news, in only two months, Cathy now sits on top alone with the number one news program in the nation. If you remember, Cathy is the young black woman, who was rejected as a potential news correspondent by WLNN CEO Arthur Corbin, as he alleged, Cathy’s blackness would mar the picturesque symmetry of his bikini-clad white correspondents. We understand news mogul Arthur Corbin is furious and it is reported he has planned to revamp his newscast and regain the lead in news casting.
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INT – NEW YORK CITY – ARTHUR CORBIN’S RESIDENT – EVENING Arthur lies in bed talking with his stage manager Sue Razor at his TV studio. ARTHUR Sue, I hear that our Black rival, Cathy Riggins has surpassed us in the TV ratings. Now here’s what I want you to do. We’re going into phase two. Call all of the girls and tomorrow morning, I want all of them in thongs, not bikinis, I mean skimpy thongs. We must regain that number one slot in the ratings, at all cost. INT – NEW YORK CITY – WCTA TV NEWS – EVENING WCTA TV News Anchor, Cathy Riggins, sits at her desk before TV Cameras concluding the evening news. CATHY RIGGINS And folks as I conclude tonight broadcast, I want to thank all of my zealous and devoted for voting me as your number one news program in the nation. I thank you kindly, goodnight and may God always tend to your welfare. INT – NEW YORK CITY – WLNN MAIN STUDIO – EVENING Sue Razor sits at her desk in her office talking on the phone with her boss, Arthur Corbin. SUE Arthur, do you want all fifty girls? INT – NEW YORK CITY – ARTHUR CORBINS’S RESIDENT – EVENING ARTHUR (Stern) Sue, for tomorrow morning news at seven o’clock, I don’t want forty-nine girls; I want to see the shapely bodies of all fifty female correspondents draped in skimpy thongs. INT – NEW YORK CITY – WLNN MAIN STUDIO – EVENING SUE Arthur, your orders will be obeyed. I
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will begin notifying the girls immediately. And Art, we can’t allow a Nigger to overshadow us. So tomorrow, we’ll begin our quest to overtake Black Cathy and once again, we shall reign as the number one TV news station in the nation. INT – NEW YORK CITY – WLNN STUDIO STAGE – MORNING Announcer Kim North wearing a bathrobe stands before the TV announcer’s lectern. Music theme is played: “Theme from the Apartment”. WLNN promotion tape is displayed: a blue sky hovers above, two blond women stand attired in thongs, each holding a globe high above her head. Announcer Kim North speaks. KIM NORTH (Exuberant) Good morning ladies and gentlemen of the world, we here at the cable WLNN TV news division felt we would give you more eye-opening news for your buck. Fifty smiling blond and brunette news correspondents stroll on stage wearing bathrobes. They pause gracefully and wave to the TV cameras. KIM NORTH (Smiling) Folks, maybe you’ve become bored of our news commentators’ old costumes, so let me know what you think of their new attire. News Correspondents look at me and imitate my action. Kim snatches open her bathrobe and all fifty news commentators imitate her act. The commentators all smile as the world ogle their voluptuous bodies, clad only in an array of vivid colored thongs. KIM NORTH (Smiling broadly) Ladies and gentlemen of the world, we at WLNN TV news want you to sit back and relish the news, if you can. Ladies, you’re excused for the moment. The glamorous commentators snatch off their robes and trot
66 67 off stage. KIM NORTH We now go to our twin anchor Correspondents Diane Saddle and Katie Cousin. Wearing thongs, smiling Correspondents, Diane Saddle and Katie Cousin sashays out and pose in front of their individual lectern. Diane speaks.
DIANE SADDLE (Smiling) Let’s get right to the headline of the day and for that, we go live to our correspondent Leslie White at the White House, where she will report on the upcoming presidential election. EXT – WASHINGTON D.C. – WHITE HOUSE LAWN – MORNING WLNN Correspondent Leslie White stands on the White House lawn with her mike in her hand before a TV Camera. LESLIE WHITE Thank you Diane, yes, the hotly contested presidential election is only weeks away and the polls indicate Democratic presidential candidate, Harriet Roosevelt has a ten percent lead over Republican candidate, Steve Morris. But with only weeks to go, many political pundits contend that republican candidate Morris can easily make up his ten percent deficit by election date. Diane, we must wait and see. Now back to you in New York. INT – NEW YORK CITY – WLNN TV NEWS STUDIO – MORNING DIANE SADDLE Thanks, Leslie and let’s go now to my co-anchor, Katie Cousin, Katie.
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KATIE COUSIN Thanks, Diane, we’ll go now to Los Angeles, where correspondent Sally Winston, reports on the split-up of one of Hollywood’s most prominent couple. Sally. EXT – LOS ANGELES – HOLLYWOOD & VINE – MORNING Correspondent Sally Winston stands before a TV camera holding a mike.
SALLY WINSTON (Solemn) Hello, Katie, one of Hollywood’s most admired couple, John and Cecil Rivers, has split-up and rumors has it that irreconcilable differences will hinder the lovely couple from reuniting. Other sources report that Mrs. Rivers was the straying party and her husband caught her romancing her young beau. Katie, I’m sadly stricken by this estrangement because the Rivers were my favorite Hollywood couple. INT – NEW YORK CITY – WLNN TV STUDIO – STAGE – SUNDAY AFTERNOON Twenty thong-clad news correspondents with interlocking arms, dance to music, while kicking their legs, alternately, high into the air. INT – NEW YORK CITY - SPORTY BAR – SUNDAY AFTERNOON A group of rowdy, male football fans sit at the bar and in booth waiting to watch the football game. The bartender temporary turns the TV channel to WLNN TV news. Suddenly, the raving football fans are watching twenty thong-clad news correspondents, who stand in a straight line, their arms interlocking, dancing to music, while kicking their legs, alternately, high into the air. The unmanageable fans all leap-up gesturing at the TV. They become loud, boisterous and shout sexy, lurid remarks.
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DRUNKEN MAN (Yelling, laughing) Just look at those gorgeous babes; with such voluptuous asses, what sane heterosexual needs football?
DRUNKEN MAN (Screams at bartender) Hey, bartender, don’t turn that damn channel! A drunken fan jumps up onto the bar and screams. DRUNKEN MAN Hey, all of you beautiful blonds, I want all of you!
DRUNKEN MAN (Yelling) Who needs boring network news when we have sexy gals giving us sexy news!
DRUNKEN MAN (Screaming) I’m screwing all of the brunettes! Hey, take off those thongs, now! THREE WEEKS LATER EXT – WASHINGTON – D.C. – FRONT OF THE WHITE HOUSE – MORNING Before a bevy of TV cameras and news reporters, Grace Morton and Teresa Hope President and Vice President of “Women against Indecency on TV” lead a large, loud chanting demonstration in front of the White House, adjacent to the Oval Office. INT – WASHINGTON D.C. – WHITE HOUSE – MORNING Harriet Roosevelt, white female, 60, America’s first female president sits at her desk in the Oval office chatting with a female aide, Ruth Berry. The president looks out the window and spots the demonstrators marching and chanting near the White House. She’s becomes curious. PRESIDENT HARRIET ROOSEVELT Ruth, I see that group is advocating decency in TV broadcasting. What’s the
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name of their leader?
RUTH Madam President, the name of that group is: “Women against Indecency on TV”; they have two leaders, Grace Morton and Teresa Hope.
PRESIDENT HARRIET ROOSEVELT Ruth, those women happen to support my most heartfelt complaint; go out to the demonstrators and bring Grace and Teresa to me.
RUTH Yes, right away Madam President. Ruth exits the Oval Office. INT – WASHINGTON D.C. – OVAL OFFICE – MORNING President Roosevelt sits at her desk across from Grace Morton and Teresa Hope. PRESIDENT HARRIET ROOSEVELT (Smiling) Grace and Teresa, I heard a lot about you, your organization and the zealous work you’re doing to rid TV of indecent material and programs. That said, I want to appoint both of you as advisors to my administration, what do you think?
GRACE (Broad grin, excited) Madam President, I’m so honored and tickled! Of course I accept your appointment and thanks very much!
TERESA (Broad grin, excited) Madam President, I too accept your appointment and I’m committed to serve you with all of the passion I can mustard! I thank you from the bottom of my heart!
PRESIDENT HARRIET ROOSEVELT You can go out and disband your group; tell them of your appointment to my
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administration and tell them we will clean up the smut on TV and elsewhere. Grace and Teresa rise; the president shake their hands and they exit with smiling faces. Ruth, the president aide enters the office. PRESIDENT HARRIET ROOSEVELT Ruth, what’s the name of that Black news correspondent with the number one news program? Ruth scratches her head for a moment; she suddenly recalls and alerts the president.
RUTH Oh, Madam President, her name is Cathy Riggins, however, last night, Cathy’s program slipped to number two.
PRESIDENT HARRIET ROOSEVELT (Curious) Well, which program is rated number one?
RUTH (Frown, reluctant) Well, Madam President, its Arthur Corbin’s program with the thong-wearing newscasters: “Ladies Give Them the Naked News”. President Roosevelt slams a coffee cup to the floor; Ruth jumps with fear. PRESIDENT HARRIET ROOSEVELT (Furious) What? Your mean that sleaze-ball, that fucking Arthur Corbin, with his nasty thong wearing gals? I’m going to yank his damn ass off TV if it’s the last thing I do! Ruth, get that black girl, Cathy Riggins over here! Ruth jumps; she looks frighten. RUTH Right away, Madam President, I’ll get right on it.
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INT – WASHINGTON – D.C. – OVAL OFFICE – AFTERNOON In the Oval Office, President Roosevelt sits at her desk across from Cathy Riggins and concludes her talk. PRESIDENT HARRIET ROOSEVELT Cathy, you’ve shown much intelligence and tenacity in dealing with your TV news rival, Arthur Corbin and his sullied program. Cathy, that’s why I’m asking you to resign your news program and join my administration, you’ll be the head of my newly created TV News Communication Division. Cathy, say yes. Cathy sits dumbfounded; her head’s bowed and her mouth is agape. President Roosevelt sits patiently waiting for Cathy to answer. Finally Cathy smiles, looks up at the President and states with a gleam. CATHY (Laughing, hands to her face) Why, Madam President, I’m stunned and elated. You don’t have to ask me twice; sure, I’ll accept your appointment! Madam President rises and shakes Cathy’s hand. PRESIDENT HARRIET ROOSEVELT Cathy, welcome aboard. Cathy exits the oval office still laughing. INT – WASHINGTON D.C. – OVAL OFFICE – EVENING President Roosevelt sits at her desk before TV cameras and concludes her address to the nation. PRESIDENT HARRIET ROOSVELT And finally my fellow Americans, before I bid you goodnight, just let me add that I’m a troubleshooter for the people and I mean all the people, not just the have, but also the have not. My pet peeves will be corruption in corporation and the congress and I will do my utmost to rid this fledging nation of corporate lobbying and return the government to be administered and sanctioned by the people for the
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people. I have added to my staff, three exceptional women, Grace Morton, Teresa Hope and Cathy Riggins. These crafty women will passionately strive to assist me in eliminating governmental waste. Moreover, my staff will endeavor to incessantly snuff-out unsavory cable TV news programs and eradicate the gushing slime of governmental corruption wherever found. Thank you and good evening.
INT – WLNN TV STUDIO – CEO OFFICE – MORNING Arthur sits behind his desk across from stage manager, Sue Razor. They both peruse TV rating sheets. SUE (Happy, looks up) Mr. Corbin, look on page two, our newscast is still number one. And, look, Mr. Corbin, Cathy Riggins news program has slipped to number ten. Arthur thumbs through the TV rating sheets. ARTHUR (Skeptical) Yea, Sue, but look on page four. It seems Ms. Cathy Riggins has mysteriously departed from her news program; I wonder why? I wonder. I wonder. I wonder. But anyway, Sue, that’s why her program has tumbled to the tenth slot. Sue leaps up jubilantly, leans across desk and plants a kiss on Arthur’s cheek. She sits back down; Arthur doesn’t respond; he continues thumbing through TV rating sheets. SUE Hey, boss, that’s great! We’re eight points in front of our closest competitor. Arthur looks up at the ceiling and ponders. He slaps his
73 74 hand down hard on the desk. ARTHUR (Jittery) Yea, Sue, but how long can we maintain our lead without some clever innovations? You know, soon our number eight competitor will be climbing up our asses! Therefore, Sue, I’m compelled to contrive a more enduring newscast, one that will astound the world and launch my newscast into orbit as the most glitzy and informative newscast, ever. Nobody can stop me.
SUE (Grinning) Nobody, can stop you Mr. Corbin, nobody. Arthur lights up a cigar, takes a deep puff and glares at Sue. ARTHUR (Arrogant) You’re damn right, Sue, nobody and I mean nobody! Now Sue, here’s my future, splendid strategy for TV news all time influential media. Now, Sue, as stage manager, you know my glamorous newscasters have donned bikinis, removed them and slipped into thongs. But now, my sexy dolls will slip out of their scanty thongs and prance about the stage in the raw. Sue, behold! For the first time in history, my news correspondents will literally expose the expansive TV world to the bare naked news. It will occur soon, real soon. Arthur takes a deep puff on his cigar; Sue gives a broad grin and exits to her next door office. EXT – NEW YORK CITY – ALLEY BEHIND CLOSED COMMERCIAL STORES – NIGHT Billy and Charlie, now winos, are filthily attired in ragged clothing. They sit reeling on cardboard boxes sharing a bottle of wine. Suddenly, rain begins to drench
74 75 the longtime friends. BILLY (Drunk, slurring) Hey, Charlie, that bastard Arthur owes us plenty money! Charlie falls to the side and slowly comes back up to an unsteady sitting position. CHARLIE (Drunk, slurring) Yea, buddy, that son-of-a-bitch is going to fall! Billy, we’ll call him tomorrow. EXT – NEW YORK CITY – PUBLIC TELEPHONE FRONT OF STORES – MORNING Billy puts coins into the phone and dials Arthur’s number at the TV studio. INT – NEW YORK CITY – WLNN TV STUDIO – MORNING Arthur sits in his office with his feet propped upon his desk reading the morning papers and puffing a cigar; the phone rings; he answers it. ARTHUR (Gruff voice) Arthur’s speaking. EXT – PUBLIC PHONE FRONT OF STORES Billy speaks to Arthur on the phone as Charlie looks on. BILLY (Sober, hoarse voice) Art, this is Billy; I’m here with Charlie. Art, you owe each of us over a hundred thousand dollars. We need our money. INT – ARTHUR’S OFFICE Arthur angrily yanks his feet from the desk, yanks the cigar from his mouth and slams the newspaper to the floor. ARTHUR (Rude) What got-damn money? I don’t owe you
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poor bastards anything! EXT – PUBLIC PHONE FRONT OF STORES
BILLY (Pleading) Arthur, why are you treating us thus way? You know Charlie and I were instrumental in supporting your interest while you were in prison and when you erected your news studio. INT – ARTHUR’S OFFICE
ARTHUR (Arrogant) Well, boy, that was today. EXT – PUBLIC PHONE FRONT OF STORES Billy shakes his head angrily and passed the phone to Charlie. CHARLIE (Angrily) Okay, Mr. snobbish, this is Charlie, and don’t forget, we might be bums, but we still know the way to the FBI’S office and I think they would be interested in how you employed Crazy Joe and Senator Payne to establish your TV network! Anyway, Mr. ex-con, I think your old prison cell awaits you! Charlie slams the phone down. He pulls from his pocket a bottle of wine, takes a big swig, pass the bottle to Billy who also takes a big swallow. The two heart-broken buddies sway down the street. INT – ARTHUR’S OFFICE Arthur slams the phone down, nervously picks up his cigar, puffs on it and yells for Sue. ARTHUR (Screams) Sue, get in here! Sue rushes into Arthur’s office with pen and paper in here hands. Arthur jumps up from his chair.
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ARTHUR (Panicky) Sue, get me Bruiser, oh, no, I forgot; the Feds killed him! Okay, get me Crazy Joe, oh, no, wait, he’s in jail! Wait, let me see; let me think a while! Arthur slumps back down into his chair, looks up to the ceiling and ponder and Sue observes him nervously. Finally, Arthur glares at Sue and speaks to her. ARTHUR (Nervously) Sue, Call Benny Caputo and tell him to get over here, fast, because I got two fellows who’ve threatened me! Arthur puffs on his cigar as Sue exits. INT – NEW YORK CITY – FBI OFFICE – AFTERNOON FBI Agents Fred Tatum and Sam Perkins sit in their office at their large desk. Wino complainants, Charlie Franklin and Billy Green sit across from the Agents and finalize their complaint against their former employer, Arthur Corbin. CHARLIE (Angry, slurring) That’s right Agents, Billy and I were present when Arthur contracted Crazy Joe and his partner Bruiser to lobby and bribe Senator Earl Payne to enact legislation, which would enable Arthur to obtain cable TV broadcast license for special nudity programs. Both Agents stare at Charlie with skepticism. FBI FRED TATUM Billy, do you support your pal Charlie’s story? Billy rises from his chair and paces about the room; he looks back at Agent Tatum. BILLY (Angry) You damn right! Yes I support my friend’s story and I want that bastard,
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Arthur Corbin buried beneath the prison! Now, if you guys are finished with us, Charlie and I must depart; we have to take our afternoon medicine. Agent Perkins looks at both complainants and shakes his head in disgust. FBI SAM PERKINS (Disgusted) Okay, fellows, that’ll be all. You guys smell so go! Get the hell out of here! Charlie rises up from his chair, walks over to Billy. Billy reaches into his pocket and yanks out a bottle of wine. They both take deep swigs and exits. Both Agents rise, shake their heads and render broad grins. FBI FRED TATUM Well, Sam, what do you think? Sam bows and scratches his head as he ponders. FBI SAM PERKINS You know, Fred, I was always told a drunken mind speaks a sober tongue. Sam smiles and pats Sam on the shoulder. FBI FRED TATUM Partner, you read my mind. Let’s launch an intense investigation against this character, Arthur and Senator Payne.
FBI SAM PERKINS Okay, partner, let’s get busy. Both Agents exit the office. INT – WASHINGTON D.C. – WHITE HOUSE – TV NEWS COMMUNICATION DIVISION – MORNING Supervisor, Cathy Riggins sits in her office at her desk with members of her staff: Grace Morton and Teresa Hope. They conclude a session with Attorney General Ralph Walton. CATHY RIGGINS Attorney General Walton, Madam President is very concern about the slow progress in the Arthur Corbin and Senator Payne investigation. She
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expects some rewarding news soon.
GRACE MORTON Yes, Attorney General Walton, the president adversaries are hopping on her for not lighting a fire under your feet. Teresa becomes angry rises up, puts her hands on her hips and inquires of the Attorney General. TERESA HOPE (Hostile) Damn, sir, the president is tired of waiting! Who do you have assigned to this incendiary case?
U.S. ATTORNEY GENERAL RALPH WALTON (Nervous) Well, I have two of my most savvy Agents, Fred Tatum and Sam Perkins. Cathy rises and extends her hand to Attorney Walton. CATHY RIGGINS (Forceful) Well, Attorney General Walton, the president wants Arthur Corbin’s sleazy news gals off TV and she wants Corbin and Senator Payne arrested! So, Mr. Walton, I strongly suggest you light a fire under the asses of your Agents and bring this sluggish investigation to a conclusion. An edgy Attorney General Walton rises up, shakes Cathy’s hand, nods to Grace and Teresa, and rushes out nervously from the office. INT – NEW YORK CITY – RIKERS ISLAND RECEPTION CENTER – TIER #1 – ROW #2 CELLS – AFTERNOON As torrential rain pelts the barred windows, FBI Agents Tatum and Perkins sit across a table from inmate Crazy Joe Bosco and conclude their interview. FBI FRED TATUM (Stern) Bosco, when Arthur Corbin contracted you and your now deceased partner,
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Bruiser, to bribe Senator Earl Payne, was anyone else present?
CRAZY JOE (Cordial) Yes sir, well, Arthur’s pals, Billy and Charlie were present, but Bruiser frightened them and sent them scattering to the kitchen until we finished our business.
FBI SAM PERKINS (Stern) What happened next? What was that business?
CRAZY JOE Art explained that he wanted to change the delivery of news on cable and satellite TV. He had no qualms about bribing a Washington politician to obtain license for a TV station. Crazy rises and walks to the window and peers out at the pouring rain. FBI FRED TATUM Going on Crazy Joe, continue. Crazy Joe turns around with tears in his eyes. He wipes his eyes and sits down. CRAZY JOE (Crying) I’m sorry fellows; I’m grieving about my deceased pal, Bruiser. (Stops crying) Anyway, I told Arthur I had access to Senator Earl Payne, Chairman of the Federal Communication Committee. I further advised Arthur to find a posh building to house his TV studio and then Bruiser and I would take care of the finance. Agent Tatum and Perkins nod at each other. FBI SAM PERKINS Crazy Joe did you contract and bribe Senator Earl Payne to illegally procure
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a TV broadcasting license for Mr. Arthur Corbin?
CRAZY JOE Yes sir.
FBI FRED TATUM How did Senator Payne obtain the money from you and Bruiser?
CRAZY JOE We dispatched fifty thousand dollars by Pat Cortese to the island of Bimini in the Bahamas, where it was given to the Senator by an islander waiter. FBI SAM PERKINS Crazy Joe did you and Bruiser later finance Arthur’s TV studio and his news program: “Ladies Give Them the Naked News?
CRAZY JOE Yes.
FBI SAM PERKINS Now, what was your interest in Arthur’s TV studio?
CRAZY JOE Bruiser and I were Arthur’s silent partners and we recognize fifty percent of the profit. Agent Tatum and Perkins eyes meet; they shake their heads in disbelief. FBI FRED TATUM Final question, Crazy Joe, I forgot to ask you, where did you meet Arthur? Crazy Joe laughs aloud. CRAZY JOE Bruiser and I met Arthur in prison; yes, we did time together.
FBI SAM PERKINS Crazy Joe thanks for your assistance;
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you’ve been most helpful.
FBI FRED TATUM Yea, Crazy Joe, we can’t promise you anything, but we’ll alert the Prosecutors of your amicable cooperation; just sign this confession. Crazy Joe signs the confession; the Agents exit. FBI PERKINS Thanks Crazy Joe. Correction Officer opens cell door; Agents walk out as Correction Officer slams cell door. Crazy Joe bows his head and weeps. INT – WASHINGTON D.C. – U.S. ATTORNEY GENERAL RALPH WALTON’S OFFICE – MORNING Attorney Walton sits in his office at his desk across from Agents Tatum and Perkins. They conclude their overview of their federal investigation of Senator Payne and Arthur Corbin. U.S. ATTORNEY GENERAL RALPH WALTON Okay, gentlemen, what do we have on those creeps, Senator Payne and Arthur Corbin?
FBI FRED TATUM Sir, we have signed confessions from Crazy Joe and Arthur’s former employees, Billy Green and Charlie Franklin. And sir, we think we can locate the waiter in Bimini who gave the bribe money to Senator Payne.
U.S. ATTORNEY GENERAL RALPH WALTON You’ve done a great job, but I want you to seek out one of Arthur Corbin’s naked newscasters and get her to provide us with more conclusive evidence; I want to tie an inescapable noose around Arthur’s neck.
FBI SAM PERKINS Okay boss, we’ll get right on it. Agents Perkins and Tatum rise and exit.
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EXT – NEW YORK CITY – FBI VEHICLE PARKED IN FRONT OF ARTHUR’S TV STUDIO – AFTERNOON Agent Tatum is the driver; Agent Perkins sits as the passenger. Tatum uses cell phone; dials Arthur’s office. INT – ARTHUR’S OFFICE Phone rings; stage manager Sue Razor answers it. SUE RAZOR Ladies Give Them the Naked News, Sue speaking; may I help you? EXT - FBI VEHICLE
FBI FRED TATUM Sue, this is FBI Agent Fred Tatum, is your boss, Arthur Corbin there? Sue begins to shake; her voice trembles. INT – ATHUR’S OFFICE SUE RAZOR No sir, he’s not. EXT – FBI VEHICLE FBI FRED TATUM Great, you’re the person I want to speak with anyway. INT - ARTHUR’S OFFICE Sue’s jittery body begins to quiver with fear. SUE RAZOR But what did I do, sir? EXT – FBI VEHICLE
FBI FRED TATUM (Threatening) Let me tell you something, sue. We’re going to take your boss, Arthur Corbin down, way down! And Sue, you’re going to scrape rock bottom with him, unless you cooperate! INT – ARTHUR’S OFFICE Sue trembles with fright.
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SUE (Rapid speech) Okay, sir, I’ll cooperate, anything you say! What do I do? What do I do! EXT – FBI VEHICLE
FBI FRED TATUM (Command) Sue, I’m parked outside with my partner in a black, four-door sedan. Get yourself out to my car and bring Arthur’s account ledger. INT – ARTHUR’S OFFICE
SUE (Frighten) Okay, sir, right away; I’ll be right there!
EXT – FBI VEHICLE Sue stands on the side of FBI vehicle, driver’s side, holding a ledger in her hand. She taps on the window. Tatum opens the door; Sue gets in the back seat. FBI FRED TATUM Sue, I’m Agent Tatum and this is my partner, Agent Perkins. Sue shakes like a leaf. SUE Hello, Agents, but I don’t know anything; I only work for Mr. Corbin; I don’t know the intimate details of his operation.
FBI FRED TATUM Yea, we understand, Sue, just pass the ledger to my partner. Sue quickly passes the ledger to Agent Perkins. Agent Perkins examines the ledger; he later takes out a camera and takes snapshots of several pages of the ledger. Agent
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Perkins taps Tatum on the shoulder. FBI SAM PERKINS Fred, I’ve captured what we need. Agent Tatum renders a loud laugh. FBI FRED TATUM (Stern warning) That’s great, Sam, we’re getting closer. Now, Sue, not a word shall be uttered regarding our rendezvous, otherwise we shall return, but in an ugly manner, and like your boss, you too will bite the dust! Now rush up stairs and restore that ledger to its original place!
SUE Sir, believe me, I haven’t seen either of you. Oh, Agent Tatum, you better move fast because Mr. Corbin will soon render an all nude-news program. Tatum and Perkins alarmed eyes meet as Sue dashes out of the car. INT – WASHINGTON D.C. – U.S.ATTORNEY GENERAL RALPH WALTON’S OFFICE – NIGHT In U.S. Attorney General Office Agents Tatum and Perkins sit at his desk and report on their investigative progress. FBI SAM PERKINS Sir, we have all of the requested you requested, but we have some distressing new. Attorney Walton rises from his seat and glares at both Agents. U.S.ATTORNEY GENERAL RALPH WALTON (Worried) Yes, what is it this time?
FBI SAM PERKINS Well, sir, we’ve just learned from Arthur Corbin’s stage manager that he will soon upscale his news program by introducing nude female newscasters.
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Attorney General slams an ash tray onto the floor; he grabs and lights a cigar and yells. U.S.ATTORNEY GENERAL RALPH WALTON That’s it; I had enough of this got- damn Arthur Corbin! Boys, go over to Assistant U.S. Attorney General, Carl Redding, give him all the information you got on Arthur Corbin and Senator Earl Payne! Tell Redding to go for an immediate indictment! ONE WEEK LATER INT – WASHINGTON D.C. – FEDERAL COURT – GRAND JURY – MORNING Assistant U.S. Attorney Carl Redding stands before sixteen members of the grand Jury. Witness Billy Green, neatly attired, concludes his testimony on the witness stand. ASST. U.S. ATTORNEY GEN. CARL REDDING Finally, Mr. Green, you testified under oath that you overheard your former employer, Arthur Corbin, concurring with Crazy Joe Bosco and Curt Bruiser Campo to bribe Senator Earl Payne.
BILLY (Nervous, shaky voice) Yes, sir, from Arthur’s kitchen, I overheard them conspiring to bribe Senator Payne so as to procure broadcasting license for my former employer, Arthur Corbin.
ASST. U.S. ATTORNEY GEN. CARL REDDING Okay, Mr. Green, that’ll be all and thanks for coming.
BILLY You’re welcome sir. Billy exits the grand jury room. INT – WASHINGTON D.C. – FEDERAL COURT – GRAND JURY – MORNING Assistant U.S. Attorney Carl Redding stands before sixteen members of the grand jury. Witness Charlie Franklin, neatly
86 87 attired, concludes his testimony on the witness stand. ASST. U.S. ATTORNEY GEN. CARL REDDING Finally, Mr. Franklin, you testified under oath that you overheard your former employer, Arthur Corbin, concurring with Crazy Joe Bosco and Curt Bruiser Campo to bribe Senator Earl Payne.
CHARLIE (Nervous, shaky voice) Yes, sir, from Arthur’s kitchen, I overheard them conspiring to bribe Senator Payne so as to procure broadcasting license for my former employer, Arthur Corbin.
ASST. U.S.ATTORNEY GEN. CARL REDDING Okay, Mr. Franklin, that’ll be all and thanks for coming.
CHARLIE You’re more than welcome sir. Charlie exits the grand jury room.
INT – WASHINGTON – FEDERAL COURT – GRAND JURY – MORNING Assistant U.S. Attorney Carl Redding stands before sixteen members of the grand jury. Inmate Pat Fusco, middle-age white man, thick Italian accent, concludes his testimony. ASST. U.S. ATTORNEY GEN. CARL REDDING Mr. Fusco, I understand approximately one year ago you were on the island of Bimini on the Bahamas. I want you explain to the grand jury the reason for your travel and transpired between you and the waiter, a Mr. Gary Bishop.
PAT FUSCO (Stern expression) My Pals, Crazy Joe and Bruiser, gave me fifty thousand to deliver to Senator Earl Payne in the Bahamas. In the Bahamas, I saw Senator Payne lounging on the beach with a woman. So, I saw
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this black waiter. I gave him a fifty dollar tip. I then placed a brown envelope on his tray containing fifty thousand dollars. I then pointed out Senator Payne and directed the black waiter to him. I watched as the waiter as Senator Payne received the brown envelope from him and later opened and counted its content. Attorney Redding reaches down and pickup from the chair a photo of Waiter Gary Bishop and Senator Payne; he shows each photo to the grand jury. ASST. U.S. ATTORNEY GEN. CARL REDDING Mr. Fusco, do you recognize both of these men depicted on these photos? Fusco takes a quick glance at both photos and nods his head. PAT FUSCO Yea, the black man is the waiter from Bimini, whom I contracted to give the fifty thousand dollars to Senator Payne and the white guy is the man who accepted the money, Senator Payne.
ASST. U.S. ATTORNEY GEN. CARL REDDING Mr. Fusco, that’ll be all thanks for your testimony. Inmate Fusco exits through the door where two Correction Officers immediately cuff his hands behind his back.
INT – WASHINGTON – FEDERAL COURT – GRAND JURY – MORNING Assistant U.S. Attorney Carl Redding stands before sixteen members of the grand jury. Witness Gary Bishop of Bimini the Bahamas testifies.
ASST. U.S. ATTORNEY GEN. CARL REDDING Mr. Gary Bishop, you’re our final witness and thanks for coming. Please tell the grand jury where you’re from and what your occupation is.
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GARY BISHOP (Calm, polite, islander accent) Yes sir, I’m from the island of Bimini in the Bahamas and I’m employed as a waiter for a tourist restaurant on the beachfront. ASST. U.S. ATTORNEY GEN. CARL REDDING Now, Mr. Bishop, you claim to have met U.S. Senator Earl Payne on the island of Bimini. Well, Mr. Bishop, will you kindly inform the grand jury how you met Senator Payne and under what circumstances?
GARY BISHOP Certainly, sir, one afternoon I was approached by a middle-age, rough- looking white man. He gave me fifty dollars, then, he placed a brown envelope atop of my tray. The man then pointed out an older white man lying on the beach next to a woman. The rough- looking man told me to carry the envelope to the white man he had pointed out.
ASST. U.S. ATTORNEY GEN. CARL REDDING Mr. Bishop, if you saw that older man again or saw his photo, do you think you could recognize him?
GARY BISHOP Certainly, I can sir, without a doubt. Attorney Gen. Redding reaches down upon a chair and pickups a photo of Senator Payne and shows it to the witness. ASST. U.S. ATTORNEY GEN. CARL REDDING Mr. Bishop, can you identify this man? Bishop takes a quick glance at the photo and makes up his mind. GARY BISHOP Certainly sir, it’s the man I gave the brown envelope to on the beach in
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Bimini.
ASST. U.S. ATTORNEY GEN. CARL REDDING Mr. Bishop, that’ll be all and again, I want to thank you for traveling all the way from Bimini to testify. Good day sir. Gary gives a broad grin; he bows to Attorney General Redding and then to the grand jury members. GARY BISHOP Good day to you sir and the grand jury members. Bishop exits with a broad grin. EXT – NEW YORK CITY – ALLEY BEHIND CLOSED COMMERCIAL STORES – NIGHT Winos Charlie and Billy shabbily clothed sit on cardboard boxes sipping wine from a bottle. Three other winos sit around sipping wine and chatting. Suddenly, Charlie and Billy are approached by Benny Caputo, a middle-age white man, who bears a ruthless scowl. Suddenly Benny whips out a gun, points it at Charlie and Billy; he shouts: BENNY CAPUTO Charlie and Billy, you rat bastards, take this! This is for Arthur!
Benny fires three shots each into the bodies of Charlie and Billy’s bodies. As Billy and Charlie keel over mortally wounded, the other winos rise and flee from the area. Benny yells to the fleeing winos. BENNY You better keep your fucking mouths shut! Benny walks calmly from the area. Moment later, several police vehicles with blaring sirens and flashing-red lights converge on the area. Police Offices exit their vehicles with drawn guns and commence their investigation. INT – NEW YORK CITY – WLNN TV NEWS STUDIO – STAGE – NIGHT Announcer Kim North attired in thongs stands at her transparent lectern before TV cameras preparing for the
90 91 eleventh o’clock news. ANNOUNCER KIM NORTH From WLNN TV News Studio in New York City, “Ladies Give Them the Naked News”, is brought to you by Venus Cosmetics and Luster Hair Products, two of America’s most sought after grooming items. Here now are news correspondents Diane Saddle and Katie Cousin with the news. Diane. Correspondents Diane Saddle and Katie Cousin stand at their transparent lectern in thongs. CORRESPONDENT DIANE SADDLE (Smiles, winks at the camera) Hello, I’m Diane Saddle with your eleventh o’clock news. Tonight we bring you a gruesome report of two homeless men senselessly murdered in lower Manhattan. For on this report, we go to our local news correspondent, Bridget Willet. Bridget. Correspondent standing attired in thongs at her transparent lectern presents her report.
CORRESPONDENT BRIDGET WILLET Thanks, Diane, yes, in lower Manhattan earlier tonight two homeless men were brutally slain by an unknown assailant. We’ve learned that police investigators have creditable glues as to the identity of the alleged gunman. Now back to you Diane.
CORRESPONDENT DIANE SADDLE Thanks, Bridget, we now go to my colleague, Katie Cousin for a special announcement. Katie.
CORRESPONDENT KATIE COUSIN Thanks, Diane, folks, we, your humble correspondents here at WLNN thank all
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of our viewers for making us the number one station for the last six month. This atmospheric status in TV news telecast has promptly instill us with an even stronger desire to carpet you with an even superior diet of assorted news, professionally embellished with a sexual trimming of elegant female correspondents. Thus, commencing tomorrow night at eight o’clock, our newscast will evolve and progress to a phenomenal height. For the first time ever in TV news, WLNN will have the privilege to literally present you an all new spectacular news telecast, featuring the sultry display of nude, female correspondents. So, please tune in and we promise to keep you worldly informed with our unique style of news dissemination. EXT – NEW YORK CITY – RESTAURANT PARKING LOT – NIGHT FBI In the parking lot, Agents Tatum and Perkins approach murder suspect Benny Caputo from behind as he’s about to enter a parked car. Agent Perkins yells to the suspect. FBI SAM PERKINS Benny Caputo, hold it, FBI!
Benny reaches into his belt pulls out a gun and whirls around. Agents Tatum and Perkins opens fire striking Benny about his body. Benny slumps to the ground mortally wounded. Both Agents approach the victim; Agent Tatum kicks the gun away from Benny’s hand. Agent Perkins chest his pulse, looks at his partner and shakes his head negatively. FBI FRED TATUM (Stern) Yea the bastard is dead and I’m sure this is the gun he used to kill those winos, Billy Green and Charlie Franklin. INT – NEW YORK CITY – ARTHUR’S RESIDENT – MORNING Arthur sits at the dining room table drinking coffee and reading the newspaper. The radio renders the morning news.
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Arthur’s wife, Doris, walks in and sits next to Arthur. Suddenly, Arthur’s perks up as he hears a familiar name on the radio’s morning report. RADIO CRIME REPORT (Male reporter) Last night in lower Manhattan, FBI Agents shot and kill a mafia hit man, Benny Caputo. FBI Agents were seeking Caputo for slaying two local homeless men, Billy Green and Charlie Franklin. We’ll have more to report on this shooting as soon as comes available. Arthur drops his newspaper and leaps up from the table. Doris jumps up and screams. DORIS (Frantic) Arthur, what in the hell is going on? All of those guys involved in that shooting are your friends! Honey, what do you know about this? Arthur ignores Doris; he’s frightened. He reaches in attaché case takes out a small gun and places it in his belt; he runs out of the apartment. DORIS (Screaming) Arthur, Arthur, where’re you going? What’s the matter? Doris begins to sob; she falls to the floor, wailing. INT – WASHINGTON D.C. – OVAL OFFICE – AFTERNOON President Roosevelt sits at her desk speaking to members of her staff, Cathy, Teresa and Grace. PRESIDENT HARRIET ROOSEVELT (Glowing with happiness) Cathy thanks for your input with Attorney General Walton. Grace and Teresa, I want to thank you as well for assisting Cathy in lighting a fire under the feet of the justice department in their investigation of Arthur Corbin and Senator Earl Payne. The FBI investigation has resulted in
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two indictments and I hear that two arrests are imminent.
CATHY (Smiling) Madam President thanks very much and it has been a pleasure and I’m now awaiting my next project.
GRACE (Cheerful) Madam President, I too thank you mightily and I want to work and serve you throughout your tenure.
THERESA (Elated) Madam President, it has been a pleasure being assigned amid your great array of staff members and I’m ready to tackle and challenge your next intricate project.
PRESIDENT ROOSEVELT (Affable) Oh, ladies, you’re to kind. Now, I want each of you to take a week off and return duly prepared and ready to apply your incomparable skills to my next project.
EXT – WASHINGTON – D.C. – STREET – PARKED CAR - FRONT OF SENATOR PAYNE’S RESIDENT - AFTERNOON Sharp lighting illuminates the darkened day, thunder rolls and shudder buildings, as a torrential storm drench the city. In front of Senator’s Payne’s resident, FBI Agents, Tatum and Perkins sit in their unmarked vehicle waiting to arrest the Senator. Suddenly the storm eases. The Agents exit the car, walk up upon the porch; Agent Perkins rings the bell. A white lady, Mrs. Ella Payne, 60’s, comes to door. ELLA PAYNE (Nervous) May I help you?
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FBI Agent Perkins shows his I.D. FBI SAM PERKINS Mrs. Payne, I’m FBI Agent Sam Perkins and this is my partner, Agent Fred Tatum. Mam, we would like to speak to your husband, Senator Payne, is he at home?
ELLA PAYNE (Confused) No, I thought you fellows were the Police. I haven’t seen Earl for three days. Agents Tatum and Perkins’ skeptical eyes meet. FBI SAM PAYNE Mrs. Payne, you mentioned the police, so I assume you reported your husband missing, did you not? Mrs. Payne shakes her head and begins to sob. ELLA PAYNE No sir, I just thought Earl was on a trip somewhere and forgot to inform me. Agent takes a card from his pocket and gives it to Mrs. Payne.
FBI FRED TATUM Mrs. Payne, I suggest you call the police, meanwhile, give me us a call if you hear from your husband. Mrs. Payne looks at the card and up at the Agents. ELLA PAYNE Okay, Agents, I will. Mrs. Payne closed the door, still sobbing. EXT – INSIDE PARKED VEHICLE Agent Tatum and Perkins sit and make plans to fly to New York. FBI FRED TATUM Sam, we’ll have other Agents to squat
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on Senator’s Payne resident. Meanwhile, we have to catch a quick flight to New York. Agent Perkins looks at his watch. FBI SAM PERKINS Oh, that’s right, we have to raid Arthur Corbin’s TV studio tonight.
FBI FRED TATUM Yea, eight o’clock tonight, Arthur Corbin and WLNN TV is slated to premiere his cast of all naked female news correspondents. Agent Perkins laughs aloud and claps his hands together. FBI SAM PERKINS (Excited) Whew! That should be fun! Okay, Fred, on a serious note, we got to hurry because we have to meet six other Agents over there and stop Arthur Corbin and his TV nudity program. The Agents drive off.
INT – NEW YORK CITY – WLNN TV STUDIO – ELEVATOR – NIGHT
It’s 7:55 P.M., on the elevator Agent Tatum and Perkins ride up with four other Agents to the third floor, main studio. The Agents all rush off on the third floor and dash to the stage area. They enter behind a long, green curtain and come face to face with twenty naked, giggling female news correspondents, standing in line poised to enter upon the stage. All of the Agents walk in front of the girls display their badges and block their pass. One of the Agents, Jack Farmer reads a court order to the girls. The girls stops giggling and become rowdy and protest loudly. Agent Tatum and Perkins leave seeking Arthur Corbin. NAKED CORRESPONDENT Hey, hey, what in the hell is going on!
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NAKED CORRESPONDENT Get out of our way! NAKED CORRESPONDENT Where’s our boss, Arthur?
NAKED CORRESPONDENT Hey, there, guys, we must present the news!
NAKED CORRESPONDENT Come on girls, you know the show must go on! One tall blond tries to push past Agent Jack farmer; Farmer becomes testy.
FBI JACK FARMER (Annoyed) Hey, get back there, Blondie before I knock you on your ass! The blond steps back and the other girls become quiet. FBI JACK FARMER (Stern) Okay, that’s better! You’re not appearing nude on TV tonight. Now, listen up as I read this court order! Agent Melton, go and turn off the cameras. Agent goes over and unplugged two TV cameras. FBI JACK FARMER I will now read a restraining order, from the Federal Court second district of New York City, Borough of Manhattan. Be it known that on this date, June 28, 2028, beginning at 8:00 P.M. and continuously until further notice, the communicative enterprise currently known as WLNN TV News Studio and program, “Ladies Give Them the Naked News”, including any and all of its employees of said cable TV conglomerate shall present themselves on the TV airways before the TV audience for any reasons, sexual or otherwise. This restraining order, signed on this date,
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June 28, 2028 by Judge Andy Faith, second district of the borough of Manhattan, New York City. The disappointed naked correspondent bow their heads walk slowly over to their lockers and begin dressing. INT – THIRD FLOOR – CEO OFFICE Agents Tatum and Perkins dash into Arthur Corbin’s office with their guns drawn. They confront stage manager, Sue Razor sitting at her desk. She becomes startled. FBI SAM PERKINS (Excited) Sue, where’s your boss? Sue rises, shaking nervously, points to the door and replies. SUE (Stuttering) Sir, sir, he went that way! He saw you guys on the elevator camera and he dashed down the stairs! He has a gun! Agents Tatum and Perkins’ eyes meet.
FBI FRED TATUM (Annoyed) Damn, just missed him! Okay, we’ll get that bastard! Come on Sam!
Gun drawn, Agents Tatum and Perkins rush down stairs. The Agents dash into the parking lot. As they enter the parking lot they hear screeching car tires and spot Corbin’s red Corvette speeding away. Agent Perkins stomps his feet in anger. FBI SAM PERKINS Got damn! We missed that elusive son- of-a-bitch again! We’re put out an all point bulletin for him and Senator Payne! INT – WYNB TV NEWS STUDIO – MORNING News correspondent sits at his desk before TV cameras preparing to present the morning news.
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LOU REGAN Good morning, I’m Lou Regan presenting your morning news. Well, it finally happened. Last night, just minutes before introducing naked news correspondents on the eight o’clock news program, a half dozen FBI Agents raided and closed down maverick TV cable news studio, WLNN. We’ve also learned from reliable sources that the FBI are seeking to arrest WLNN TV CEO, Arthur Corbin, who escaped just minutes before FBI Agents raided his TV studio. WLNN, the maverick studio, was renowned for introducing bikini and thong wearing female newscasters on cable TV. In a dramatic twist to this evolving, entangled saga, reliable sources reveal Arthur Corbin and Senator Earl Payne have both been indicted on federal charges: Corbin for bribery, conspiracy and murder, and Senator Payne for fraud and receiving bribes, which enabled former inmate, Corbin, to illegally procure a cable TV communication license. Now, an all point bulletin has been issued for both suspects. In the recent past, ninety percent of Americans opposed naked news telecasting.
INT - ARTHUR CORBIN’S RESIDENT BUILDING - MORNING FBI Agents Tatum and Perkins knocks on apartment #6B, Corbin’s apartment. Doris Corbin slowly opens the door. DORIS CORBIN (Jittery) Yes, may I help you? Agent Tatum displays his badge. FBI FRED TATUM (Stern) Mrs. Corbin, I think you know why we’re here. Where is he? Have you seen him?
DORIS CORBIN (Crying)
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No, I haven’t seen Art; I don’t know where he is!
FBI FRED TATUM (Stern) Mrs. Corbin, do you mind if we see for ourselves? Mrs. Corbin steps to the side; Agents Tatum and Perkins enter with their guns drawn. INT – BEDROOMS, KITCHEN, BATHROOM AND PARLOR Agents check the apartment and come up empty; they meet back in the parlor and confer with Mrs. Corbin as she continues crying. Agent Perkins gives her a card. FBI SAM PERKINS Mrs. Corbin, here’s our card; gives us a call if you hear from your husband. Mrs. Corbin accepts the card. DORIS CORBIN (Crying) Okay, I will.
EXT – NEW YORK CITY – WEST CANAL STREET – RESTAURANT PARKING LOT – NIGHT
Agent Perkins and Tatum patrol around the city in their vehicle. On their police radio, The Agents hear an alarm broadcast of a sighting of suspect’s Arthur Corbin’s red Corvette on West Canal Street. POLICE DISPATCHER Units, respond to the Fat’s Man’s restaurant on the corner of West Canal and Center Street. There’s a red Corvette in the parking lot; the caller believes the car belongs to suspect Arthur Corbin. Units be careful, FBI
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Agents are believe to be in the area. EXT – FBI VEHICLE FBI SAM PERKINS Fred, that’s only two blocks away let’s go. The Agents speed to the scene. The Agents park across the street from the restaurant and observe a red Corvette parked in the parking lot. A blinding, heavy down pour drenches the area. FBI SAM PERKINS (Furious) Hey, Fred, that’s our boy; yea, that’s that bastard!
FBI FRED TATUM (Livid) Yea, I want that elusive jail bird, real bad! Tell the dispatcher no sirens and to get those damn uniform cops away from the area; we don’t blow this!
FBI SAM PERKINS Central, this is the FBI; we have the suspect’s car in sight. Central have your units to hang back and no sirens. We’ll call them if we need backup.
POLICE DISPATCHER Units, be advised, FBI has the suspect’s car in sight, no sirens and stay away from the area unless requested. The Agents squints their eyes observing the Corvettes through rain drops. Suddenly, the Agents observe a man exiting the restaurant; he advances towards the corvette, nervously looking around. FBI FRED TATUM (Excited) That’s him! That’s that fuck, Corbin! Call for backup and let’s get him!
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Both Agents leap from their vehicle, both guns drawn. FBI SAM PERKINS (Screaming) FBI, hold it Corbin! I said hold it, damn it! Corbin, duck down and pulls a gun from his belt and fires at the Agent. As speeding police vehicles with blaring sirens and flashing lights descend upon the area, Agents Tatum and Perkins return fire, striking Corbin several times in the chest; Corbin falls to the ground mortally wounded. His gun skids across the wet pavement. Agents Tatum and Perkins stand over Corbin looking down upon his body. FBI FRED TATUM (Scowl on his face) Yea, elusive Corbin, where are you going to run to now?
FBI SAM PERKINS (Scowl on his face) Well, partner, maybe the damn monster is now jogging with Satan in hell. Well, that’s one down and one to go. Partner, let’s go to Washington and see if we can flush out Senator Payne. EXT – WASHINGTON D.C. – FBI VEHICLE – AFTERNOON Agent Tatum and Perkins drive around Washington seeking suspect, Senator Earl Payne. At the Capitol, the Agents meet with several Senators in a first floor office. FBI FRED TATUM Senator, Miles, you’re a close friend of Senator Payne, when’s the last time you saw him? Senator Miles, an elderly, gray hair white man replies. SENATOR MILES (Gravel voice) Agent Tatum, well I have seen old Earl in three or four days and that’s unusual for him to stay away from the Capitol.
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FBI SAM PERKINS Senator Moss, what about you, when’s the last time you laid eyes on Senator Payne? Senator Moss, a middle-age, balding white man replies. SENATOR MOSS (Mild manner) It was about the same time Senator Miles saw him; we were all at the same meeting.
SENATOR WRIGHT Well, Agents, I just thought of something, I remember Senator Payne always mentioning a winter home in Burlington Vermont. He and his wife always visit there during the winter. I don’t think he would be there now; it’s summer.
FBI FRED TATUM Thanks Senator, we’ll keep looking. Senators, don’t hesitate to call us if you think of something else. EXT – WASHINGTON D.C. – FBI VEHICLE – AFTERNOON Agent Tatum and Perkins drive along the highway to Vermont. EXT – BURLINGTON VERMONT – RURAL AREA – MORNING Agent Tatum and Perkins drive up a winding dirt road to a well-kept log cabin. Both Agents exit their vehicle and enter the log cabin with their guns drawn. After inspecting the cabin, the Agents give each other frustrating stares. FBI FRED TATUM (Sulking) Got damn, partner, look at the thick dust in this place, I think the Senator hasn’t been here in quite sometime, certainly not lately.
FBI SAM PERKINS I don’t know, partner, I wonder where that old geezer is? My gut instinct tells me that old buzzard is there somewhere, probably a victim of his own
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hands. Come on let’s get the hell out of here. The Agents drive along the highway in route to Washington D.C. INT – WASHINGTON D.C. – U.S. ATTORNEY GENERAL WALTON’S OFFICE – LATE EVENING Attorney General Walton sits at his desk concluding his session with Agents Perkins and Tatum. U.S. ATTORNEY GEN. RALPH WALTON Well, Agents, we’ve checked all over the nation for Senator Payne and no Police department have reporting not even a sighting. Gentlemen, I know you both are slated to retire in a month; I want to think you for the superb investigative zeal you’ve exhibited over the years. For your unselfish labor above and beyond the call of duty, next week we’re having a tribute for you and the president will be in attendance. Both Agents rise and shakes the Attorney’s hand. FBI SAM PERKINS (Teary eyes, sniffling) Mr. Attorney General, over the many years it has been indeed a splendid ride under your exceptional stewardship! I will always remember your stern but firm dissemination of leadership and thank you very much. Agent Perkins wipes his eyes with a handkerchief. FBI FRED TATUM (Teary eyes, sniffling) Mr. Attorney General, like a five star general, you’ve lead us in and out of many successful battle and each time, we surfaced unscathed. I wound venture to said, if all law enforcement commanders possessed your worldly savvy and zealous attributes, the national crime rate would spiral and remain at an all time low. Sir, I’m a bigger man
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for having embraced your illustrious presence. Eternal thanks and God bless. Agent Tatum wipes his teary eyes as The Attorney General watches both Agents exit. TWO YEARS LATER INT - U.S. ATTORNEY GENERAL WALTON’S OFFICE – MORNING Attorney General Walton sits in his office briefing two new FBI Agents, Bruce Hall and Kyle West, two middle-age white men. Attorney General gives the Agents two folders on missing former U.S. Senator, Earl Payne. U.S. ATTORNEY GENERAL RALPH WALTON Men, you have in your hands the files on former U.S. Senator, Earl Payne. He’s wanted for bribe receiving and other criminal infractions, but at this point we don’t know if he’s dead or alive. His trail has been cold since we put out an all point public for him, two years ago. This case is in the cold case file, but I’m still bother by it. So, I want you boys see what you can rekindle. Agent West looks curiously at the Attorney General and inquires. FBI KYLE WEST Sir, I notice Senator Payne once visited Bimini in the Bahamas, but I also notice there’s no notation indicating Bimini was visited by any Agents. A sudden dense quietness permeates the room. U.S. ATTORNEY GENERAL WALTON (Shocked, yells) What? Are you kidding? Damn it, I missed that and the previous assigned Agents also missed checking out Bimini! I want you Agents to get over to Bimini right away and search for Senator Payne. Both Agents exit. EXT – BIMINI THE BAHAMAS – AFTERNOON
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Agents Kyle West and Bruce Hall walk along a sandy beach and stop at a tourist restaurant. Agent Hall spots waiter, Gary Bishop standing near the restaurant. FBI BRUCE HALL Hey, Kyle, look into your folder; look at that waiter with the white jacket; I believe he’s Gary Bishop, the guy who testified in the grand jury against Senator Payne. He would certainly know if former Senator Payne is on this island. FBI Agent West looks at a photo in the folder and looks up at the waiter. FBI KYLE WEST Yea, partner, that’s Gary Bishop, let’s inquire of him. Both Agents walk over to Bishop and display their badges; Bishop displays a broad grin. FBI BRUCE HALL Hello sir, are you Gary Bishop?
GARY BISHOP (Grinning) Yes sir, how can I be of service to you? Agent West shows Bishop a photo of former Senator Payne. Bishop takes a quick of the photo and nods his head positively. FBI BRUCE HALL Gary, do you know this man and have you seen him?
GARY BISHOP (Affable) Certainly, on both accounts, I know him; he’s Senator Payne and he’s around here everyday around this time, with a young blond on his arm. But I thought the FBI had arrested the Senator. Both Agents’ eyes clash as a slight smile engulfs their faces. Gary looks out toward the beach and points to an
106 107 elderly man approaching them attired in swimming trunks; a young blond clad in a bikini holds his hands. GARY BISHOP Look, here comes the Senator and his young blond. The Agents approach the elderly man and the blond. Agent West Show his badge to former Senator Payne. FBI KYLE WEST (Stern) Former Senator Earl Payne, I believe? The former Senator stops suddenly; a confused expression appears on his face as he drops the blonde’s hand. FORMER SENATOR PAYNE (Shakes with fright) Okay, Agents, you got me. Agent Hall signals for two uniform officers who come trotting over. FBI BRUCE HALL Officers, take this former U.S. Senator to your police precinct, he’s under arrest. Former Senator Payne signals his blonde pal to leave the area. The officers handcuff the former Senator and walk him to a nearby precinct. INT – BIMINI POLICE PRECINCT – INVESTIGATION OFFICE – AFTERNOON Agent Hall and West sit at a table across from former Senator Payne and begin interrogating him.
FBI KYLE WEST (Stern) Mr. Payne, let me advise you of your rights.
MR. PAYNE (Arrogant) You don’t have to advise me of my rights, I know them better than you young whippersnappers!
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FBI Agent West looks at one of the Bimini cops standing nearby and states. FBI KYLE WEST Officers, you heard the prisoner’s curt reply, did you not?
BIMINI COP Yes sir, I heard him.
FBI BRUCE HALL Mr. Payne, when you were a U.S. Senator, why did you allow yourself to be bribe by Arthur Corbin and his mafia associates?
MR. PAYNE (Arrogant) Well, I tell you, the money was easy, nobody’s watching the kitchen so why not take the money. It’s has been a long practice on Capitol Hill and it will never subside. Don’t worry fellows; I’m going to plead guilty.
FBI KYLE WEST But, Mr. Payne, your wife, Ella, has pretty much worried herself to death over your disappearance.
MR. PAYNE (Screams) Ella, you mean that old bag isn’t dead yet? Fellows my girl was a bikini-clad newscaster on Arthur Corbin’s program: “Ladies Give Them the Naked News”!
CONT. MR. PAYNE Did you not see my young blonde wrapped around me on the beach and you have the audacity to inquire about some old witch? Please, let’s get the hell out of here; I’m ready to go back to Washington; I can take my punishment! The Agents grab their warrant and arrest papers from the Bimini’s Officers and exit with their prisoner.
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EXT – WASHINGTON D.C. – PRIVATE AIRPORT – NIGHT Agents West and Hall are escorting Mr. Payne down a long corridor, when suddenly he makes a gurgling sound and keels over onto the floor. The Agents bend down to assist him. FBI BRUCE HALL (Yells) Someone call for ambulance! Kyle, I think our prisoner has suffered a heart attack. Two male paramedics race over. One paramedic examines Mr. Payne’s heart with a stethoscope. Moments later he looks up at the Agents and shakes his head, negatively. PARAMEDIC I’m sorry gentlemen, this man is gone. Soon two paramedics place Mr. Payne’s remains on a stretcher and roll him away. INT – NEW YORK CITY – WYNB TV NEWS STUDIO – NIGHT News correspondent, Lou Regan sits at his desk before TV cameras preparing to present breaking news. CORRESPONDENT LOU REGAN I’m correspondent Lou Regan and I have breaking news. Well, former U.S. Senator Earl Payne is dead. The former Senator was missing for two years, after being indicted by a federal grand jury in Washington on charges of bribe receiving and other criminal offenses. After evading arrest for two years, the elusive former Senator was discovered by FBI Agents residing on the island of Bimini in the Bahamas.
CONT. CORRESPONDENT LOU REGAN It’s reported that when found, Mr. Payne was frolicking on the sandy beach in the romantic grasp of a gorgeous blonde. It’s alleged that the corrupt former Senator told FBI Agents he discovered his stunning, blonde mistress, as she presented the news
109 110 clad in bikinis, on the now defunct cable TV news program: “Ladies Give Them the Naked News”. After FBI Agent arrived back in Washington at a private airport with their prisoner, Former Senator Payne, Mr. Payne keeled over in the airport corridor and later died of a massive heart attack. Now with the death of former U.S. Senator Earl Payne, the final chapter of the controversial naked news telecasting on cable TV is closed. The fraudulent communication laws and the communication license issued to Arthur Corbin, CEO of WLNN cable TV, engineered and orchestrated by former Senator Payne, have all been rescinded. All of the major unsavory characters are now dead. Now, once again, TV news presentation exists and is aired in its non-sensual format. American families sit in their parlors breathing a sigh of relief, as they now watch news programs without fear of their innocence children being exposed to wholesale exhibitions of lurid sex appeal, masquerading as genuine media deliverance.
FADE OUT
THE END
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