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Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. NEGOTIATING THE DOMINANT SEXUAL SCRIPT:

MIDDLE-CLASS BLACK GIRLS TELL THEIR STORY

Philipia Lauren Hillman

Facility of the College of Arts and Sciences

of American University

in Partial Fulfillment of

the Requirements for the Degree

of Doctor of Philosophy

Sociology

Chair: Bette J. Dickerson

Dean of the College of Arts and Sciences

American University

Washington, D.C. 20016

uHZVuesity

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This microform edition is protected against unauthorized copying under Title 17, United States Code.

UMI 300 North Zeeb Road Aurn Arbor, MI 48103

Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. DEDICATION

This dissertation is dedicated

in loving memory of my grandfather

Leon Jack Hillman

Who always said, "You better get that education, Miss Flip. Cuz' they can't take that away from you!"

and To my grandmothers Ella Holland Hillman and Ethel Mae Rivers who still lead the way

Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. NEGOTIATING THE DOMINANT SEXUAL SCRIPT:

MIDDLE-CLASS BLACK GILRS TELL THEIR STORY

Philipia Lauren Hillman

ABSTRACT

This research explores how middle-class black adolescent girls

negotiate the dominant sexual script assigned to all young black girls.

Basically, the black adolescent female sexual script is recognized as

"promiscuous," "teen mother" and "uneducated." This racialized and

sexualized script permeates and dominates the public psyche, social science

literature, and legislative initiatives. Moreover, this monolithic script

fundamentally excludes black girls who are not low-income, state-dependent

and/or teen mothers. This study reveals how middle-class black girls

interpret, experience and resist this dominant sexual script. In particular, it

examines: How do they describe their sexual self-image? What characteristics

do they find attractive in potential partners? How do they pursue and engage

romantic friendships?

This qualitative study is guided by a black feminist perspective that

centers the experiences, language and adolescent culture of middle-class black

Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. girls in the Washington, DC, metropolitan area. Employing the snowball and

purposive methods, 61 girls between the ages of 15 and 20 were interviewed.

The girls were asked to describe the sexual self-image, partner selection and

romantic friendships of a stereotypical black girl whom they define as

"ghetto" and how their experiences differ from this stereotypical girl.

The girls in this study revealed that they are different and must

negotiate the dominant sexual script and their own personal narrative to

create personal and social equilibrium. They discussed how they have to keep

a "foot in each world," in order to balance the stereotypical image and the one

they create for themselves. Unlike most studies about adolescent female

sexuality this study centers the non-coital aspects of sexuality and provides

insights into the intricacies and complexity of middle-class black girls'

femininity.

Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

The Creator provides lessons in a variety of ways. Through this

long, and at times, lonely process, the Creator taught me independence,

patience and discernment. In that vein, all thanks and praises go to the

Creator for blessing me with the ability to persevere and succeed. I am also

deeply thankful to my family for their constant cheers and faith. I can never

express how much the love and wisdom of my parents, Gladys and Philip,

help guide me through this process. A special thanks goes to my brothers

Phil Nice and Pete the Treat for always boasting about how special I am. I am

also grateful and thankful to my soul-mate Walter whom also weathered this

storm. I cannot forget the support of my sister-girlfriends — Psyche, Nzingha,

Sheila, Joanne, Vanessa, Karon, Johanna, Michelle and Evita -- who

continued to tell me "Girl, you can do it!" I also need to recognize the Queens

— Marilyn, Carolyn, Mattie and Dr. Laveme Reid.

I would especially like to acknowledge the work and support of

each member on this dissertation committee, Bette J. Dickerson, Esther Ngan-

Ling Chow and Gloria Young. A special thanks goes to the committee chair,

Dr. Dickerson for her years of mentoring that led me to academic

independence and self-reliance. I must recognize Dr. Chow for teaching me

how to think like a feminist of color, and Dr. Young for knowing how to

Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. center women of color. I would also like to acknowledge the American

University community. Not only has the University provided me with

financial support — the American University Ph.D. Assistantship and the

American University Dissertation Award — but, introduced me to the world

of academe and its potential.

An extra special thanks goes to the black women in my dissertation

support group. These women kept me goal-oriented, centered and sane. I

would especially like to recognize the group's founder, Dr. Shireen K. Lewis,

who critically and lovingly read every word of this dissertation. Thanks also

goes to my PBGC family and co-workers, especially Mildred, Casandra and

Jane who allowed me the flexibility and support to complete this journey.

Finally, I give thanks to the girls for sharing their private thoughts

and actions. It is my hope that these girls did not share in vain, and their

narratives will help us all understand. I also recognize the sister-scholars

who paved the way for this research, and help create a place where our voices

can be accepted, heard and documented. Moreso, I thank the women who

gave us voices to record, the ones who wouldn't be still, the ones who

wouldn't be quiet, the ones that had a story that had to be told.

Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. TABLE OF CONTENTS

DEDICATION

ABSTRACT ...... ii

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS ...... iv

Chapter

1. INTRODUCTION ...... 1

2. THE DOMINANT SEXUAL SCRIPT AND BLACK MIDDLE-CLASS ADOLESCENT GIRLS ...... 12

3. THEORETICAL AND METHODOLOGICAL FRAMEWORK ...... 54

4. UNDERSTANDING SEXUAL SELF-IMAGE ...... 79

5. UNDERSTANDING PARTNER SELECTION ...... 134

6. UNDERSTANDING ROMANTIC FRIENDSHIPS ...... 187

7. CONCLUSION ...... 226

APPENDIX A: ICE-BREAKER QUESTIONNAIRE ...... 239

APPENDIX B: LTTANY ...... 241

APPENDIX C: CONSENT FORM ...... 243

APPENDIX D: LONG INTERVIEW QUESTIONS ...... 245

Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. TABLE OF CONTENTS (continued)

APPENDIX E: FOCUS GROUP QUESTIONS ...... 251

APPENDIX F: LONG INTERVIEWS ...... 254

APPENDIX G: FOCUS GROUPS ...... 257

BIBLIOGRAPHY ...... 259

vii

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INTRODUCTION

All young women experience adolescence through complex

and often competing systems of race, class, gender and sexuality;

however, these events are especially intense for black girls. While all

life-course changes, are identified by biological (e.g. puberty), social (e.g.

prom), and cultural (e.g. sweet sixteen party) social markers, the

perceived circumstances for young black girls often represent the worst

of adolescent femininity. They are viewed as sexually active and

promiscuous (e.g. teenage single-mothers), with limited future potential

(e.g. high school drop-outs) and unproductive (e.g. welfare recipients).

These images conceal, silence and misrepresent what it really means to

be young, black and female. At the same time, they create a dominant

sexual script1 that has been used to justify the maltreatment and

negative stereotyping toward black female adolescence.

This dissertation explores how middle-class black adolescent

females interpret, experience and resist the dominant sexual script

assigned to young black girls. In particular, it attempts to answer: How

1 A dominant sexual script is defined as “...a repertoire of acts and statuses that are recognized by social groups, together with the rules, expectations, and sanctions governing theses acts and statuses” (Laws and Schwartz 1977, p. 2). 1

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do they describe their sexual self-image? What characteristics do they

find attractive in potential partners? How do they pursue and engage

romantic friendships? Long interviews and focus groups were both

conducted to explore how these middle-class adolescent black girls

interpret the dominant sexual script assigned to all black adolescent

females. Other questions asked are: How they experience a social system

that oppresses their race and gender but privileges their class and, how

they resist the images that the dominant script imposes?

These controlling images range from the medicable

Hottentot2 to the non-sexualized mammy3 (Hadley Freydberg 1995, Hill

Collins 1991, Pieterse 1992). This dominant ideology socially constructs

a reality and a negative sexual "emotionology4/' towards black female

sexuality. The stereotypical concept of the black adolescent female is

steeped in poverty. It obscures and ignores the class status and

experience of all adolescent black girls who are not impoverished. The

dominant sexual script reduces middle-class black girls' race and gender

to biological determinants of their adolescent experience.

By transforming social categories into biological ones, they effectively perpetuate the view that these distinctions are part of a natural order not a social order; that they are grounded in nature, not in the class structure of society (Mullings 1994, p. 281).

2 A Hottentot is a late 19th century myth which attempted to legitimate biologically the view of abnormal black female sexuality. 3 The “mammy” image emerged during slavery and represents the nonsexual, all-loving, surrogate black mother (Hill Collins 1991, p. 72). 4 Emotionology is described as the macro-level standards regarding experiences or expression (Steams and Steams 1986).

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Understanding that sexuality is organized through sexual

scripts is critical to understanding the experiences of adolescent black

girls. This racialized and sexualized script permeates and dominates the

public psyche, social science literature and legislative initiatives

(Dickerson, Hillman and Foster 1995; Ross Leadbeater and Way 1996).

Basically, the black female adolescent script is recognized as public policy

rhetoric with such platitudinous phrases and terms as "female head-of-

household," "teen mother," "premarital sex," "drop-out," "abortion,"

and "welfare."

The single, most frequent representation of African-American adolescent women is the teen mother, who is generally depicted as a low-income future welfare recipient with minimal education and few transferable skills for the work place. She is assumed to be sexually irresponsible and emotionally bankrupt, and thus easily manipulated by m en in her life (Robinson and Ward 1991, p. 90).

This monolithic script not only erases black adolescent girls'

personal narrative (encompassing their interpretation, experience and

resistance of life events), but fundamentally excludes black girls who are

not low-income, state-dependent or minimally educated. At the time of

this study, these girls were either attending college, or preparing for

college; many were employed, and none were welfare recipients or teen

mothers.

Scholars who focus on black adolescent female sexuality tend

to gather informants who are enrolled in free sodal-service programs

and/or receiving free medical care. By concentrating on this particular

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population, a dominant sexual script is created that silences all other

black female adolescent experiences. This silence creates a void in

academic writings, successful social policies and public understanding.

My goal is to bring voice and volume to that void.

While this study is about middle-class adolescent black girls'

femininity, it expands traditional definitions and meanings of

adolescent sexuality. For example, Aron and Aron (1991) define

sexuality as "... the constellation of sensations, emotions, and cognitions

that an individual associates with physiological sexual arousal and that

generally gives rise to sexual desire an d /o r behavior " (1991, p. 26).

While such definitions omit the cultural and social aspects of sexuality, I

conceptualize adolescent sexuality as the incorporation of personal

meanings and actions about the biological, social, and cultural aspects of

adolescence. More specifically, I see sexuality as incorporating and

encompassing the sexual self-image (i.e. beauty and body images),

partner selection (i.e. who is attractive) and romantic friendships (i.e.

where and how partners spend their time). Consequently, young

middle-class black girls' sexuality is seen as the intricate and interrelated

experiences of how they describe their sexual self-image, what

characteristics they find attractive, and how they engage romantic

friendships. This is extremely complex when one considers that

middle-class black girls negotiate their sexuality through a social system

which often views them and their community as sexually primitive,

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bestial, lascivious, pathological, dangerously erotic and immoral (Hadley

Freydberg 1995, Ross 1993, West 1993).

This dissertation explores, examines and reveals the sexual

scripts of middle-class black adolescent girls. Its research methodology

generates questions that require self-examination, and thus has the

promise of empowering those who may not have recognized their full

potential (Lorde 1984). This strategy, using science for social uplift and

equality, is consistent with sociological and feminist assumptions. I am

also adhering to a black feminist epistemology (Christian 1980,

Combahee River Collective 1983, Hill Collins 1991, hooks 1981 and 1984,

Lorde 1984). A black feminist epistemology views the language, values

and the cultural context of adolescent black girls as essential to

deciphering the interpretations, experiences and resistance of these

middle-class black girls' sexuality.

This study is also guided by the assumption that all females —

regardless of age, race and class — experience sexuality within a system of

patriarchy. Within that male system, the intimacies of sexuality (love

and feelings) are concealed, silenced and separated from the physical

aspects (acts and behaviors), which are publicly debated and exploited.

This reasoning tends to lead many scholars to quantify and predict

female sexuality by focusing on disease-oriented, control-oriented, and

problem-oriented studies (Wyatt 1994). These types of studies diminish

female sexuality to physical issues such as "age of first coitus" and

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"duration of sexual activity prior to conception" (Sagarin 1978).

Sociologists in particular tend to focus on basic research regarding the

legal, reproductive and population aspects of sexuality (McKinney 1986,

p. 113). Such nondescript, quantitative reports generally reduce analyses

to sexual behaviors and the potential outcomes of those behaviors —

pregnancy, abortion and sexually transmitted diseases rather than

expanding in-depth understanding. While these issues are important,

they are outside the scope of this study.

This study, however, integrates the intimate with the physical

and views adolescent female sexuality as natural, healthy, personal,

social and potentially empowering. This assumption (that sexuality is

intimate and physical) is congruous with Lorde's (1984) interpretation of

the erotic, which is often used in women-centered research on sexuality

(Jones 1994, Rose 1998). Lorde defines the erotic as"... a resource

within each of us that lies in a deeply female and spiritual plan, firmly

rooted in the power of our unexpressed or unrecognized feeling" (1984,

p. 53). In this dissertation, those "unexpressed" and "unrecognized"

feelings will be defended and affirmed as essential to understanding the

sexual scripts of middle-class black adolescent females.

By examining sexuality as a complex, ongoing process, this

research highlights the intricacies of adolescent middle-class black girls'

femininity. Interpreting how middle-class black girls view themselves,

what they perceive as desirable and the way they choose — or do not

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choose — to share themselves yields vital and valuable information for

understanding female adolescent sexuality (Ross Leadbeater and Way

1996, Fine 1988, Tolman 1996). This research centers the black girls'

experiences by focusing on their personal narrative or "stories" of

sexuality versus their anticipated sexual behaviors and outcomes.

Studying adolescent black girls' socio-sexual experiences — that

is, their personal narrative and their links to the dominant sexual script

— provides descriptive analytical tools to discuss a variety of issues

about female adolescent sexuality in general and black female adolescent

sexuality in particular. For example, this study outlines the complexity

of middle-class black adolescent female sexuality as it is experienced

within systems of oppression and privilege. Specifically, it expands the

original race, class and gender focus by not centering the analysis on

poor women of color. This study examines race and gender oppression

as it is experienced within class privilege.

Conceptualizing various layers of oppression and privilege

and how they are maintained, perpetuated, resisted, survived or

protected is the gift of race, class and gender analysis. This study

challenges more traditional sexuality and race, class and gender studies

by focusing on class privilege as it is realized in race and gender

oppression. Using the foundations of race, gender and class studies, this

study does not isolate those variables or rank one above another, but

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filters them through other social categories — age, sexual orientation and

geography.

This approach continues the evolution of race, class, gender

analysis. In the 1960s, sociology was radalized; in the '70s, feminized,

and in the '80s, expanded by the intersection of race, class and gender.

Now, the debate centers around how to examine and understand these

analytical categories as social processes experienced through social

structures (Gerson and Peiss 1985, West and Femstermarker 1995, West

and Zimmerman 1987). This approach is inherent in developing

"cutting-edge" research (Baca Zinn 1994, Brewer 1993, King 1988, Chow

1994). This research captures the essence and meaning of privileged

black girls' sexuality, and it documents the "... embeddedness and

relationality of race, class, and gender and the multiplicative nature of

these relationships ..." (Brewer 1993, p. 16). Specifically, this

dissertatation examines how middle-class black girls proceed through a

social system that recognizes and brands them as exemplifying the worst

of feminine adolescence.

Equally important, this analysis steps away from traditional

research about the black middle-class in that it does not highlight and

explain "normative black behavior" (Benjamin 1991, DuBois 1967). In

addition, it does not follow the typical black middle-class research

model, by focusing on such issues as material gain (Frazier 1962, Landry

1987), civil rights (Edwards and Polite 1992) and discrimination (Fegain

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and Sikes 1994). This study is more in line with Dollard (1949), Frazier

(1961), Giddins (1984) and Staples (1973) who understand that the black

middle-class experience can be a somber, clandestine struggle between

personal desire, communal hope, and social acceptance and expectation.

For black middle-class girls, this experience can be described as the

"culture of dissemblance" (Clark Hines 1995). Dissemblance is the ability

of black females to appear open, as they really shield private matters and

intimate concerns from outsiders (p. 380).

Sociologists who study sexuality generally identify and

emphasize the macro level, subcultural level and micro level

(McKinney 1986, p. 104). This study adopts these approaches: 1) On the

macro level, the dominant sexual script identifies stereotypical themes

of black adolescent beauty, social desirability and romance. 2) On the

subcultural level, qualitative data centering on race, class gender and

sexuality are critiqued and analyzed. 3) On the micro level, the girls'

personal narratives are explored to understand how they interpret,

experience and resist hegemonic assumptions about their sexuality.

Specifically, I outline how the middle-class black girls in this study

describe their perceived peers whom they define as "ghetto" and how

their experiences differ from this stereotypical ghetto girl.

As outlined above, this research observes and acknowledges

the importance of sociological and black feminist principles. These

principles promote research that focuses on emancipation, agency and

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affirmation of middle-class black adolescent females. In addition, this

dissertation does not steep the concept of female adolescent sexuality in

the physical act and anticipated outcome; it does, however, see sexuality

as a complex process that involves personal and social meanings.

Adolescent female sexuality is assumed to be a healthy, natural part of

the life-course. Simultaneously, this research contributes to and

continues to push the analytical understanding of how race, class and

gender are experienced and understood within social structures. This

study also transcends traditional middle-class black research, that

generally focuses on structural forces and how they hinder upward

mobility. This project, on the other hand, delves into the micro realities

of middle-class black adolescent female sexuality.

Finally, the analyses and narratives of this project will be

useful inside and outside the academy. Inside academia, it will bring

new insights to gender, black and sexuality studies. The research and

methodology will also be beneficial to anthropologists, ethnographers

and others interested in qualitative research and analysis.

Outside the academy, this research may be used in leadership

curriculums, rites-of-passage programs, and empowerment workshops.

The data gathered could also be used by health-care providers,

counselors and sex therapists. Less obvious but equally relevant, this

information should be useful in marketing, advertising and other public

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relations strategies used to capture the attention of young middle-class

black adolescent females.

This dissertation consist of seven chapters. Chapter two

provides the historical and contemporary context to understanding

middle-class black adolescent female sexuality. Chapter three outlines

the theoretical framework and methodological approach that guides the

study. Findings are discussed in chapters four, five and six. Chapter

four frames how these black girls view sexual self-image, chapter five

discusses desirability and partner selection, and chapter six reviews

definitions and activities within romantic friendships. Chapters four,

five and six begin with the girls7 definitions and concepts, followed by

their report of "the ghetto girl," and a description of their own

experiences. Additional discussion, conclusions, and future research

suggestions are presented in chapter seven.

Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. CHAPTER 2

THE DOMINANT SEXUAL SCRIPT AND BLACK

MIDDLE-CLASS ADOLESCENT FEMALES

This chapter outlines the historical, ideological and social

formations of the dominant sexual script and what that means for middle-

class black girls' sexual self-image, partner selection and romantic friendships.

The chapter briefly describes African sexuality prior to slavery and adolescent

female sexuality during and after slavery. Equally important, it explains the

culture of resistance that was constructed during slavery and how that was

used to help protect black adolescent girls. There is also an historical outline

of the economical forces that help create the black middle-class.

Understanding the historical formation of the black middle-class provides

valuable insight into comprehending how adolescent girls experience class

privilege, while negotiating race and gender oppression. Next, the chapter

contexualizes the contemporary adolescent female sexual script and its

ideological and social pressures. Finally, it discusses how middle-class black

girls mediate that adolescent script within the confines of their sexual self-

image, partner selection and romantic friendships.

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African Sexuality Prior to European Enslavement

The dominant sexual script of black adolescent girls is carved from

rich African history, culture and society. The grotesque abuses of slavery

manipulated, altered and oftentimes silenced the African elements of black

adolescent female sexuality. The dominant view constructed and entrenched

an emotionology toward black adolescent females that, even today, scripts her

as open, lewd and available. The socio-economical, socio-political and socio-

ideological structures of slavery created a public discourse that continues to

misunderstand, misrepresent and ignore the voices of adolescent black

females — especially middle-class black females. Consequently, this imposes a

silence that obscures the inherent resistance against slavery, its domination

and present-day legacies.

While sexual organization varied throughout Africa, research

documents that it was guided by strict family and communal codes (Omolade

1983, Staples 1973, Sudarkasa 1988). African females expressed and

experienced sexuality as part of a communal aesthetic. African dances, art,

ceremonies and traditions were used to celebrate and control female sexuality

(Omolade 1983, Sterling 1984). These rituals included the crotch dance,

female genital mutilation, public humiliation and fertility dolls. Sexual

mores and customs were organized within a social structure that kept females

and males in equalitarian but gender specific-roles (Sudarkasa 1988, Terborg-

Penn and Rushing 1996). Equally important, African worship did not dictate

sexual morality: "A violation of the sexual code is an offense against

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individuals and not against God" (Staples 1973, p. 38). Leslie (1995) finds that

sexuality was seen as an intrinsic and valued aspect of African life.

"Moreover, where sexuality is concerned," she adds, "the good is thought to

be embodied in a procreative, feminine, life-giving principle" (1995, p. 42).

The sexual ethos, mores and expressions of female African sexuality was in

direct opposition to the rigid western Judeo-Christian connection of sexuality

and procreation.

When European slave traders reached the shores of Africa, they

saw black skin, nudity, polygamy and sexual freedom — all associated with

Judeo-Christian sin and evil.

[Slave traders] viewed the African expression of sensuality through public rites, rituals, and dances as evidence of the absence of any sexual codes of behavior, an idea that both fascinated and repelled [them] and also provided him with a needed rationale for the economic exploitation of African men and women (Omolade 1994, p. 4).

Once in sexual bondage, African females were reduced to chattel property. As

a commodity, they raised profit, thereby increasing the standard of living of

white families. As property they fulfilled white men's sexual gratification

while simultaneously protecting the virtue of white women.

Slavery and Scripting Black Female Sexuality

The structural complexity of slave culture was secured and

perpetuated by the master's socioeconomic well-being, the guardianship and

control of white and black women (which is patriarchy) and the physical

control of black people (which is capitalism). Specifically, the black female

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body was a fragmented commodity — her back was used for field labor; her

hands were used to nurse and nurture white men and their families; her

vagina was used for sexual pleasure, and her womb for capital accumulation

(Omolade 1994, p. 7). These experiences made her .. uniquely cable of

weaving into the warp and woof of domestic life a profound consciousness of

resistance" (Davis 1971, p. 8). While the institution of slavery afforded white

men sodal, political and economic power and white women the sanctity of

domestic protection, it also created an inherent and intrinsic resistance

within, among and between black females. As Chow states, "Resistance is an

inseparable part of oppression in all forms of power relationships" (1994, p.

213).

Through social and personal domination, white male slave owners

used the black female to accumulate wealth, obtain and maintain domesticity

and satisfy sexual desires. As a means of upward mobility, the black female

body was accessible for consumption, exploitation and domination. This

created a historical dominant script that has evolved into current-day carnal

images of and expectations for all black females. Simultaneously, this slave

history ignores and fails to recognize the collective culture of resistance that is

essential to black femaleness (Clark Hines, 1995, Davis 1971, Hill Collins 1991,

St. Jean and Feagin 1998).

As the protectors of social morality, white women's dominant

sexual script was based on "The Cult of True Womanhood" -- piety, purity,

submissiveness and domesticity (Abramovitz 1988, Andersen 1993, Gordon

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1991, Welter 1976). This cultural icon, based on Puritan values of a male-

breadwinner, reduced white women's role to nurture, love and care. The role

of a "true woman" was to provide the proper social environment for her

children and husband. That role was characterized as being strongly religious,

chaste, timid, fragile and highly skilled in domestic tasks (e.g. cooking,

needlepoint and cleaning). American concepts of beauty, femininity,

sexuality and womanhood were also defined and measured again this "true

woman" discourse. All women were judged against this standard, so

working women, single women and women of color were not considered

"true women." Enslaved black females in particular were the specific and real

examples of the worst of true womanhood (Combahee River Collective 1983,

Jewell 1993).

Black female sexuality was constructed and based on juxtaposing

(consciously or unconsciously) it to white female sexuality (Gray White 1985).

Black females represented the "... antithesis of the American conception of

beauty, femininity and womanhood" (Jewell 1993, p. 36). For example, moral

white women of the south never allowed their arms or legs to be exposed; a

public display of nudity was associated with lasdvity and lewdness. This

social marker of "true womanhood" always placed black enslaved females as

less than "true women." The everyday work of enslaved females forced them

to "reef up" their dresses, exposing their legs and thighs. Some were forced to

wear such tattered and worn garments that they were almost naked. Davis

(1971) explains that the sexual overtones and abuses during slavery reduced

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black females to an "animal-like" persona (1971, p. 12)

White women, however, were seen as asexual and incapable of

erotic and sensual feelings (Omolade 1994, Staples 1973). While white

women were placed on a pedestal of sexual purity, black female bodies were

used to maintain that pedestal by satisfying white male lust. For example,

many southern white men expected and experienced their first sexual

encounter with enslaved black women and girls (Staples 1973, p. 41). Many

wealthier white mothers were sent away during pregnancy because their

physical condition was visible evidence of sexual activity (hooks 1981). When

possible, some visited family relatives for long periods of time to recover

from and space pregnancies. During her absence black female bodies filled the

gap for recreational and procreational sex. "The icon of the sexually

denigrated black female not only effectively legitimated the maximum

exploitation of her reproductive labour but also exonerated white men who

abused her from guilt" (Marshall 1994, p. 106). The sexual union between

master and slave not only satisfied his sexual gratification, but increased his

fiscal portfolio. His economic and personal gain was the enslaved black

female's sexual demise.

Sale and punishment also unveiled the enslaved black females'

body. On the auction block, they were touched and inspected. In particular,

their stomachs and breasts were fondled to judge their potential fertility in

order to assess future capital gains. In cases where disease or deformity were

in question, doctors were on hand to examine them. As one young woman

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describes, "We was all chained and dey strips all our clothes off and de folks

what gwine buys us comes round and feels us all over" (Sterling 1984, p. 20).

Again, this public display of the black body enhanced the perception of black

females as foul and bestial.

Punishments also suggested this notion. Regardless of their

physical, mental or emotional condition, whippings were doled out to

"unruly" females. For example, if a woman was pregnant, a hole was dug in

the ground to protect the fetus (i.e. potential property) and she was whipped

bare back (Mann 1988). Gray White (1985) outlines incidences of slave

masters and/or overseers stripping and putting women in suggestive

positions prior to whippings. The realities of slave life, including auction-

block sales, beatings and daily work, exposed black female bodies, which led to

macro misunderstandings and beliefs about their morality and purity. This

carnal emotionology towards enslaved black females was also magnified

through their offspring.

The visible presence of mulatto and black plantation children also

rationalized and explained the carnal images of black female sexuality. If the

child was black, the slave master gained; if the child was mulatto, not only did

he gain, but his overseer, son, or some other white men enjoyed the physical

pleasure. As one woman explains, "... his yaller gals in one quarter to dere

selves and dese gals belongs to de Mordida men, dere friends an' de

overseers.. . De yaller women was highfalutin'. Dey thought they was better

dan black ones" (Sterling 1984, p. 28). Consequently, some mulatto women

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and girls were trained, bought and sold specifically for their perceived sexual

desirability and beauty.

Mulatto women and girls who were specifically bought and sold for

prostitution and concubinage were known as "Fancy Trade" (Gray White

1985, p. 37). Although New Orleans, Louisiana, was the center for "Fancy

Trade," these city transactions also occurred in Charleston, South Carolina,

St. Louis, Missouri, and Lexington, Kentucky. These women and girls tended

to be extremely expensive, refined, educated and handsome1. They were

directly groomed to satisfy the sexual fantasies of wealthy men. While their

daily toil may have appeared easier than traditional female slave labor, their

visible roles as prostitutes and concubines heightened the ideology of black

females' sexuality as lascivious and tainted. "If, in order to ease the burdens of

slavery, they made themselves available, they only fulfilled the prophecy of

their lustfulness, which in turn made it more difficult for other black women

to reject the overtures made by white men" (Gray White 1985, p. 38).

Nonetheless, the benefits and rewards enticed some enslaved women and

girls to pursue openly the possibilities of "Fancy Trade" (Gray White 1985,

hooks 1981).

It is important to note that the "Fancy Trade" pheaomenon is

directly and unequivocally correlated with miscegenation and white ideals of

beauty (Gray White 1985; Okazawa-Rey, Robinson and Ward 1986; St. Jean

1 Handsome, generally used to described men, was used often to describe black women during this time period.

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and Feagin 1998). This conquer-and-divide technique of valuing one skin

color over another is an historical, global phenomenon that affects various

race/ethnic groups. For example, 19th century southern Italian immigrants

were stigmatized for their dark hues and traditional ways (Gonzales, 1993).

Immigration reporting authorities were instructed to separately categorize

southern Italians and northern Italians2. For blacks, the relationship of light

skin color, prestige and upward mobility is fundamental to understanding the

formation and history of the black middle-class. (DuBois 1967, Frazier 1961,

Landry 1987, Giddings 1984). Unfortunatley, some of the fundamental issues

and concerns of skin-color preference and privilege continue today (Mullings

1994; Neal and Wilson 1989; Okazawa-Rey, Robinson and Ward 1986; Russell,

Wilson and Hall 1992). Later in the chapter, I will outline some of the issues

surrounding skin- color preference and its effects on the black middle-class.

Regardless of hue, black females were not protected from the sexual

violations and abuses of slavery. As this women explains,

When a baby was bom in dat quarter dey'd sen' it over to de black at birth. Some of dese gal babies got grow an' after goin' back to de yaller quarter had chilluns for her own dad or brother (Sterling 1984, p. 28).

Black female bodies served several functions within the socio-political

economy of the peculiar institution of slavery. Those functions created a

dominant sexual script for all black females that perceived them as lustful,

2 Northern Italians had fair complexions and were seen as Germanic and more cultured. Southern Italians were seen as . . illiterate, superstitious peasants who were low class, ignorant, unassimilable and prone to violence” (Gonzales 1993, p. 406)

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strong, accessible and lascivious.

Their perceived unruly lustfulness was used to justify why they

deserved and needed to be enslaved; their strength, used for manual labor

and multiple childbirths, and to justify the brutality they endured as enslaved

women and girls. Their accessibility and availability was implied since they

were considered pieces of property; their lasciviousness was used to explain

the presence of enslaved children, particularly mulattos. Understanding that

"true womanhood" was based on a sexual script that perceived women to be

pure, weak, inaccessible, sexually prohibited and chaste, one can see how black

females prior to slavery, during slavery, and even today have been used to

describe and represent the worst of femininity, beauty and womanhood

(Jewell 1993, Gray White 1985, Hill Collins 1991).

Enslaved black females created a culture of resistance that provided

them and their families with intellect, physical ability, spiritual strength and a

belief in freedom. This culture of resistance provided a context and

alternative frame of reference to guide everyday life. Historians and other

social scientists generally analyze and study the culture of resistance at the

macro level. For example, they chart slave revolts, uprisings, escapes, and

slave narratives that expose the defilement of slavery. What their critiques

neglect are the daily acts of resistance that protected and supported the

maintenance of family structure, particularly protection for adolescent girls.

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Slavery and Adolescent Female Sexuality

African puberty rites and other traditions that introduced girls to

the responsibility and roles of womanhood were challenged and

compromised during slavery. "Cut off from their ancestral traditions, slave

mothers tended to shy away from discussing sex with their daughters"

(Sterling 1984, p. 19). But slave mothers did believe and attempt to enforce

African, Christian and feminine elements of chastity (Simson 1983, p. 231).

Mothers would often misinform and ignore clandestine discussions of

menstruation, sex and childbirth. As one young women confesses,

I was a great big girl twelve or thirteen years old, I reckon, and a girl two or three years older than that and we'd be going' round to the parsley bed looking for babies; and looking in hollow logs... I didn't know nothing then. I didn't know how long I had to carry my baby. We never saw nothing when we were children (Sterling 1984, p. 19).

Sterling (1984) argues that mothers' silence about sex and sexuality was an

attempt to protect daughters from the sexual hardships of enslaved

womanhood. By avoiding the complex issues of sexuality, families attempted

to guard their daughters by not tainting their childhood with the ugly stories

and realities of being an enslaved female. Enslaved parents believed in the

innocence of youth and tried to shield their daughters from the crude sexual

experiences of being enslaved. This attempt to defend adolescent girls' purity

by keeping them naive is an example of daily resistance that is rarely

documented in slave texts. However, in spite of their naivete, those girls

who were approached by men instinctually used chicanery, trickery and

cunning to avoid sexual coercion or violation.

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Many authors have analyzed and deciphered the adolescent slave

narratives of Harriet Jacobs' (1861), Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl and

Elizabeth Keckley's (1868), Behind the Scenes (Hill Collins 1991, Simson 1983,

Sterling 1984). In each of the autobiographies, the women depict their

adolescent experiences as a complex relationship of domination and

resistance in similiar ways: 1) being naive, both girls describe their initial

shock as being confronted with sexual threats; 2) they analyzed and discussed

the immediate need and danger of removing themselves from the situation;

and, 3) they also implemented a plan to accomplish that task. The sexual

narratives of these enslaved adolescent girls vividly demonstrates the social

assumption that black females bodies were open and available. In addition,

their narratives capture their inherent and instinctual ability to resist that

domination (Davis 1971, Hill Collins, 1991).

Through resistance, the enslaved community designed culturally

relevant and reflective ways to guard and control adolescent female sexuality.

The cultural context of African, Christian and feminine values placed worth

on virginity, but it was not a gauge of morality. However, adolescent girls

who were seen as promiscuous were publicly denounced. This African ritual

was fused into the culture of southern Baptist churches, blues songs and

social events (Amgelou 1981, Sterling 1984). Through music and song, girls

would be chastised and scorned for unacceptable behavior. As one man

describes,

... in African when a girl don't ack jis lak dey should, dey drum her

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outuh town. Dey jis beat de drum, and call her name on de drum and de drum say 'bout all de tings she done...put 'em on de banjo in dis country. When dey play dat night, dey sing bouth dat girl and dey tell all about her. Den everybody know an dat girl sho better change her. ways (Sterling 1984, p. 32).

Enslaved black females created a culture of resistance that was in

direct opposition to the dominant ideology that constructed the adolescent

black female script (Asante 1987, Davis 1981, Dickson 1993, Stacey 1992, Stack

1974). The slave community created a cultural system that valued, controlled

and protected adolescent female sexuality. Regardless of how black females

bodies were publicly and physically used, adolescent girls were raised in a

culture of resistance that challenged the dominant script and created an

alternative and centered world view. Centering and recognizing this

resistance is crucial to grasping the "angle of vision" of black adolescent girls

(DuBois 1986, Hill Collins 1991, Giddings 1984, St. Jean and Feagin 1998).

The socio-political, sodo-economical and sodo-ideological

structures of slavery created a negative black adolescent female sexual script

that transcends time. The hackneyed images of black female sexuality

continued after emancipation and have evolved into the current day

stereotypes — fatherless, under-achieving teen mother and pathological.

These controlling images even seeped into the psyche of the black

community (Clark Hines 1995; Cleaver 1968; Dickerson, Hillman and Foster

1995; Dollard 1949; Hill Collins 1991; McCall 1994). For middle-dass

adolescent black girls, this dominant construct was particularly troublesome.

These girls were given strict communal and moral codes that were in direct

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opposition to how they were perceived in the larger community

Out of Bondage and Free: Middle-Class Blacks

Prior to E. Franklin Frazier's controversial book Black Bourgeoisie

(1962), there was limited analysis of the black middle-class. Now there are

several works that focus on the black middle-class; however, my project will

not duplicate these studies that generally explain the history, lives and

upward mobility of the black middle-class (Benjamin 1991, Edwards and

Polite 1992; DuBois 1967). This project will delve deeply into the sexual self-

image, partner selection and romantic friendships of middle-class adolescent

black girls. This approach expands the view and scope of how to understand

the group's experience.

While there have always been free black people in the United

States, the black middle-class emerged as a consequence of ideological,

political and economical situations. Enslaved and free mulatto children were

often given opportunities and advantages to learn a trade and work in the

"Big House," and would eventually either purchase or be granted freedom.

This socially acceptable privilege created a cleavage between lighter-skin

blacks and darker-skin blacks. Simultaneously, it created a black middle-class

that was based on skin color and paternalistic relations with the larger

community. However, this status and prestige was quickly undermined by

emancipation, European immigration, occupational competition and racism

(Frazier 1962, Landry 1987).

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Jobs that were traditionally maintained by heed blacks were given

to immigrants. Mulattos were now forced to do business with the larger black

community because whites refused their services. According to Frazier (1962),

this was particularly difficult because the group's "false consciousness" relied

heavily on white ancestry and its privileges to distinguish themselves from

the larger black community. The macro forces of immigration, competition

and racism changed the context and scope of the black middle-class. As

scholars have explained, middle-class attainment was achieved by providing

service and instruction to the black community (Higginbotham 1994, Landry

1987, Malveaux 1988, Willie 1974); therefore, m ulattos could no longer rely on

paternalism or white ancestral ties as direct access into the middle-class.

The continued segregation from the white community and

educational opportunities sponsored by the Freedman's Bureau trained black

doctors, dentist, undertakers, clergy, insurance agents, bankers and realtors to

serve the black community. These educated, middle-class entrepreneurs

provided service, entertainment and employment to the black community.

They built newspapers, movie theaters, clothes stores, universities and

hospitals that provided support and resources for the black community.

During Reconstruction, black's upward mobility was not based on

social privilege, as it was in slavery. Now it was a function of education. The

Freedman Bureau's provided the educational programs that changed the

context of the black middle-class. However, light-skin preference continued

to linger in the psyche of the black community (Okazwa-Rey, Robinson, and

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Ward 1986; Stjean and Feagin 1998). This internal racism was exacerbated by

white employers, social scientists, politicians and educators who perpetuated

this skin-privilege discourse. The study of eugenics, hiring limited to light-

skin blacks, the "brown paper-bag test"3, and the varied legal definitions of

"black" were all examples of light-skin privilege.

Also essential to understanding middle-class black adolescent

female sexuality is the necessary employment of black women. In order to

secure and continue class mobility, the majority of middle-class black women

had to work outside the home for a wage (Gordon 1991, Horton 1993, Mossell

1988). Similar to slavery, their productive labor was seen as masculine and

not the exhibiting the elements and essence of "true womanhood." Several

scholars have documented the social and personal hardships of working black

women (Giddings 1984, Gray White 1985, Jones 1985, Thorton Dill 1994,). The

majority of these women were domestics, teachers, seamstresses, caterers and

cooks. These trades, skills and professions put them in close proximity to the

abuses of white oppression.

While black women's employment was needed and valued, it

challenged their existence as woman (Jones 1985, Hill Collins 1991, Thorton-

Dill 1994). How can they be both fragile and employed? How can they be

passive and contribute to the financial uplift of their families? How can they

be submissive with their own independent resources? The dominant culture

3 Anyone darker than the color of a brown paper bag would be rejected or excluded from jobs, schools and other socially organized groups.

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looked upon their employment with disdain, and some middle-dass black

men postulated that black women and their daughters were "too forward"

and "too uppity" (Giddings 1984, Terborg-Penn 1978). Consequently, middle-

class black mothers "... reconstructed the sexual ideologies of the nineteenth

century to produce an alternative discourse of black womanhood" (Carby

1987, p. 6). Mothers, extended kin and "other mothers" instilled values that

allowed middle-class adolescent girls to absorb a black ideology of

womanhood.

This ideology was in direct opposition to the Eurocentric version of

womanhood that is relegated to the non-wage domestic sphere, dichotomized

gender roles, and being economically dependent on a male breadwinner.

Conversely, black daughters were taught to be self-reliable and resilient:

Black daughters are raised to expect to work, to strive for an education so that they can support themselves, and to anticipate carrying heavy responsibilities in their families and communities because these skills are essential for their own survival as well as for the survival of those or whom they will eventually be responsible (Hill Collins 1991, p. 53).

These lessons come from long traditions of seeing mothers provide (at times

alone) for the family. Black women created an alternative discourse to help

their daughters exist, survive and succeed. This mother/daughter dyad

produced a level of awareness and resistance that is unique and particular to

black mothers and daughters.

Historically and culturally, black females have had to negotiate the

sexist discourse within the black community and the racial and sexual

oppression discourse from the dominant community. As previously

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explained, that negotiation created a culture of resistance that is a confluence

of African, Christian and feminine values. Middle-class black mothers have

always taught their daughters that the cultural milieu placed them below the

privileged sexual pedestal that was given to white middie-class girls.

Through the stories of working women, middle-class black girls understood

that their skin color and sex made them both publicly and privately open to

sexual advances. These lessons gave middle-class black girls a clever and

cautious sense about sexuality. In addition, they prepared them to mediate

their future responsibilities as workers within the context of their black

sexuality.

Black Middle-Class Adolescent Female Sexuality

In the post-Reconstruction era, middle-class black families adopted rigid

codes of sexual expectation and behavior. This was an attempt to distinguish

themselves from poorer blacks and to protect themselves from the white

community (Dollard 1949; Frazier, 1962). Similar to white girls in their same class

status, middle-class black girls were expected to be moral, pure, chaste, socially

upright, timid, fragile and passive (Abramovitz 1988, Carby 1987, Giddings 1984,

Gordon 1991). However, unlike their white peers, middle-class black adolescent

girls had to negotiate those expectations within a social system that categorized them

as immoral, sexually available and lustful. As part of their social and personal duty,

middle-class black adolescent girls were taught to resist the dominant view and

adhere to the expectations and realities of black femaleness. As Hill Collins (1991)

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explains,

While Black girls learn by identifying with their mothers, the specific female role with which Black girls identify it may be quite different than that modeled by middle-class White mothers (1991, p. 53).

These middle-class adolescent girls were not only expected to be moral and virtuous

but they were to exhibit and maintain an appearance of utmost self-control.

Through newspapers, magazines and speeches, middle-class black women

critiqued and rejected white assumptions that all black females were immoral,

available and open. H unton (1904) wrote,

Because the Negro women with whom they come in contact exhibit none of those higher qualities that are based upon virtue, it is assumed that these women are typical of all Negro women, and, upon this assumption, an attempt is made to prove to the shame of all, a wholesale immorality (1904, p. 281).

This statement clearly articulates that middle-class black females understood that

their sexuality was being judged and measured against standards not reflexive or

relevant to their communal life experiences (Hunton 1904; Wyatt 1982). The

statement also asserts that middle-class black females are not "typical" and should be

distinguished from poorer or less virtuous "Negro" women. It is important to note

that this distinction is based on "higher qualities and virtues." In other words, the

black middle-class saw behavior and action -- not just color — as a measure of

character.

Strategically, middle-class black females would successfully debate and

debunk dominant descriptions of black female sexuality and would explain

"looseness" as a lower-class behavior (Dollard 1949, Frazier 1961, Williams 1905).

Dollard (1949) describes this as an "energetic rejection of the white view of Negro

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sexuality," (1949, p. 157). This "energetic rejection" was so strong that Dollard (1949)

suggests lower-class blacks even believed that middle-class blacks were more chaste

and moral.

In time with the dominant view of "feminine virtue," the black middle-

class community held a rigid doctrine that preached against premarital and

extramarital sexual relations. Such acts were not only considered an offense against

oneself but also against the middle-class community. Sanctions could range from

social disgrace to expulsion from the community. Dollard (1949) and Wyatt (1982)

argue that communal expectations in high school and college helped girls

internalize restraints and principles deferring sexual gratification.

Frazier (1961) describes black middle-class sexuality as

"pseudosophistication" and "white imitation." He argues that middle-class blacks

engage as frequently and with as much pleasure in sex as lower-class blacks (1961, p.

769). Staples (1973) agreed with Frazier (1961) and suggests that middle-class blacks

are in sync with African concepts of sexuality, and these "pleasurable" and

"naturalistic" principles override social, cultural and class expectations and

restrictions. For example, Karen Hansen (1995) discusses the erotic friendship

between two upwardly mobile black women in the late 19th century. Their

relationship was analyzed by examining the love letters the two women wrote to

each other. While the black middle-class claimed to be so sexually reserved, this

lesbian friendship was ambivalently accepted by the black community (1995, p. 164).

Ironically, this tolerance may have been due to their class status and the resources

they could provide the larger black community.

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Giddings (1984) interprets middle-class black sexuality as a race-conscious

mission. The majority of black middle-class families adopted DuBois' "Talented

Tenth" theory. This theory postulated that the top ten percent of black intelligentsia

should serve as the key leaders who address issues of social, political and economic

equality for the entire black community. Accordingly, Giddings characterized

middle-class black sexual restraint as being based on morals, education and means —

in that order: "They saw themselves not just as messengers but as living examples"

(1984, p. 99). Equally important, they also saw themselves as separate and distinct

from lower-class blacks.

Dollard (1949), Frazier (1961), Giddings (1984), Hansen (1995) and Wyatt

(1982) all explain that black middle-class sexuality was directly related and

influenced by middle-class values and white acceptance. For middle-class black

adolescent females that meant always displaying public behavior that was virtuous

and acceptable, even though, private actions and behaviors may have been very

contradictory (dark Hines 1995, Frazier 1961). Regardless of their diction, manner,

and obvious education, middle-class adolescent black girls were subject to unwanted

sexual advances that were uncharacteristic of their class status. They were warned to

guard against any public display of sexuality (Burroughs 1904, Hunton 1904,

Shadrach 1903, Williams 1905). Many middle-class black parents attempted to

minimize their children's contact with the white community. For young women,

in particular, it was an attempt to protect them from potential rape, abuse,

kidnapping and maltreatment (Bell-Scott et al. 1991, Clark-Hine 1995, Thorton-Dill

1994).

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Black middle-class families, particularly mothers, socialized their

daughters to be aware of and mindful about their racial and sexual status.

Equally important, these families created a resistance discourse that

demanded "higher qualities" and "virtues." For girls, this culture of

resistance was guided by Christian, African and feminine values that

debunked and rejected the dominant sexual script. This rejection was

demonstrated and supported by black families' expectations of "virtuous"

behavior, economic stability, strict parental control and communal beliefs.

Contemporary Middle-Class Black Adolescent Female Sexuality

Velma Murry's (1994) study of early versus late coital initiators

among black adolescent found that regardless of measurement (e.g. parental

education, neighborhood quality or family income) income is fundamentally

related to sexual behavior. Coital initiation occurs later among adolescents

who are of a higher socioeconomic standing. For example, Sterk-Elifson's

(1994) study on black adult female sexuality revealed that middle-class

women's initial sexual activities included kissing, petting, and sometimes

oral sex; intercourse did not occur until after several dates. "The lower-class

women frequently reported that their first sexual encounter included sexual

intercourse" (1994, p. 110).

Black middle-class households have varying structural arid social

realities: "That is they vary systematically in their ability to hook into,

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accumulate, and transmit wealth, wages, or welfare [for their families]" (Rapp

1992, p. 51). Black middle-class status continues to be primarily achieved by

providing service and instruction to the black community (Frazier 1962,

Higginbotham 1994, Landry 1987, Willie 1974). Middle-class status for most

black families continues to be full-time employment for the husband and

wife. Historically, black middle-class couples have transcended traditional

gender roles and ". .. carved out an equalitarian pattern of interaction in

which neither husband nor wife has ultimate authority" (Willie 1974, p. 53).

Black parents must confront and resist racism together; therefore, their daily

battles and views are not in opposition to each other, but complementary.

The middle-class black family's ability to accumulate and transmit

wages and welfare provides adolescent daughters with resources to negotiate

and navigate various social settings and situations (Coates 1987, Grant 1994).

Simultaneously, middle-class status affords them luxuries such as strict

parental control and involvement, communal support and expectations of

success and achievement (Ferguson Peters 1988, p. 233).

Black middle class parents view their child-rearing as "safe guarding" their

daughters from the cruelties of racism and sexism. They must socialize and

prepare girls to survive and succeed in social and economic systems that

marginalize their race and sex (Bell-Scott et al., 1991, Coates 1987, Cose 1993,

hooks 1981, Hill Collins 1991, Taylor 1976). As Beverly Jean Smith (1991)

explains, "As daughters and nieces, we like most of my black female peers

were told, 'Be able to take care or yourself. Always have your own money"'.

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(1991, p. 144)

Timberlake and Carpenter (1990) found that black middle-class

parents also believe in strong parental communication about issues

involving their daughter's sexual development. In fact, the majority of these

parents believed poor dialogue is a major factor in teen pregnancy. Murry

(1994) also noted that parents who discuss how pregnancy occurs were more

likely to successfully encourage daughters to delay sexual intercourse.

Moreover, mother-daughter relationships were found to be more important

than mother-daughter "sex-talks," and positive mother-daughter relationship

contributed to the likelihood of later coital initiation. In addition, girls from

two-parent households tend to begin sexual intercourse later. Middle-class

black parents also believe that both parents have a responsibility and duty

to provide sexual information (Timberlake and Carpenter 1990).

Today, politicians and clergy are calling for the father to return to

the household to "save" black male children. John McAdoo's (1988)

discussion of black fathers and their daughters points to the important fact,

that girls need fathers too. McAdoo explains that the greater the father's

economic security, the more active he is with child-rearing (1988, p. 258). For

middle-class adolescent black girls, this economic privilege is to their

advantage. As Ferguson Peters (1988) and McAdoo (1988) observe, when

fathers are more involved with daughters, these girls tend to be more self-

sufficient. At the same time, black fathers do not condone or promote

nonconformity, individuality or independence, which can be stifling for

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adolescent girls.

Since middle-class girls are not hindered by daily economic

struggles, their familial and communal socialization focuses on avoiding the

negative outcomes of adolescent sexuality. Girls who are not, or, barely

supported economically and socially tend to suffer the negative outcomes of

adolescent sexuality. Murry (1994) as well as Timberlake and Carpenter (1990)

offer various reasons why low-income girls have these sodosexual

experiences: 1) low-income communities are more likely to condone early

sexual activity; 2) historically, "folk tradition" and myths are often

disseminated by mothers and grandmothers leaving girls misinformed about

sexual choices; 3) environmental and cultural conditions and experiences

influence them; and 4) restricted by life options, this group may be less

motivated to delay sexual intercourse. "Finally, others suggest that poverty

engenders a sense of powerlessness and helplessness, which may explain why

low-income adolescent females exert little or no control over the sexual

pressures of their boyfriends" (Murry 1994, p. 346).

As noted, middle-class black adolescent female survival is more of

a psychological than a structural battle (Cose 1993, Fegain and Sikes 1994).

Middle-class blacks often report incidents of blatant racism, discrimination

and despair (Cose 1993, Edwards and Polite 1992, Fegain and Sikes 1994, St.

Jean and Fegain 1998). This psychological confrontation may force middle-

class black adolescent girls to distance themselves physically and mentally

from ".. . those blacks out there" (Robinson and Ward 1991, p. 91). The

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strategy of cultural disassodation and/ or psychological separation can often

lead to isolation and distrust from the larger black community. At the same

time, this strategy generally removes them from the pulse and psychological

affirmations of the larger black community (Lacayo 1989).

Deborah Coates' (1987) examination of middle-dass adolescents

outlines the gendered perspective of how black girls are sodalized within

sodal networks. Black middle-dass adolescent girls' relationships tend to

indude more family members, be kin or locally based, smaller and more

intimate than those of boys. Even though girls had a smaller network than

did boys, they estimated they know more people. Citing various texts, Coates

(1987) argues that middle-dass black adolescent girls have a more traditional

sex-role orientation than boys. This orientation, which includes strict

parenting, communal expectations, and Christian, African and feminine

values, helps explain why girls' sodal networks are tightly linked to the

family and geographically dose. This explanation complements Aulette's

(1994) findings that middle-dass black families devalue individualism and

autonomy as self-centered.

While essential to communal growth, these traditional gender

roles teach middle-dass black girls to nurture and care — at times at their own

expense. This is reflective of the "sacrificial lamb" syndrome that filters

through most females of color. The "sacrifidal lamb" syndrome refers to the

idea that females in race/ethnic communities must always put their personal

goals or developments on hold for the good of the larger community (Baca

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Zinn and Thorton-Dill 1994, Giddings 1984, di Leonardo 1992, Baldock 1994,

Young and Dickerson 1994). Linda Grant's study (1994) on black elementary

school girls explains how traditional gender roles learned in the home are

transplanted to the public world. Specifically, it demonstrates how black girls

will put their personal goals second to communal expectations and needs.

Since black girls are socialized to care and nurture, they arrive at

school "trained" to help others. Grant (1994) outlines the three academic

roles to which the black girls adhere: helpers, enforcers and "go-betweens".

Helpers will often forfeit leisure activities such as recess to help others. The

helper's role generally provides non-academic assistance. The enforcer has

three elements: to aid the teacher, to gain his/ her favor, and to protect peers.

Enforcers tend to have substantial influence with all peers, regardless of

gender or race. The go-between is the most complex and powerful of the

three roles; she is the link between teacher and teacher, student and teacher

and student to student. The go-between has easy access to the teacher and

high status in the classroom.

Black girls' roles in the classroom earn respect and transcend race

and gender hierarchies, which contributes to the control and balance of the

academic setting; however, her own academic achievement can suffer. As

Grant (1994) explains,

Black girls' everyday schooling experiences seemingly do more to nudge them toward stereotypical roles of Black women than toward alternatives. These include serving others and maintaining peaceable ties among persons rather than developing one's own skill (1994, p. 61).

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This argument is not designed to underestimate, devalue or undermine the

power of the "care ethic" of black girls. It does, however, point to their

precarious position when socialized in a communal system that expects and

needs her "care work" and in a larger social system that demands

individualism, autonomy and self-achievement.

Middle-class black girls must negotiate and experience their

sexuality through a domination matrix that is inherently both empowering

and oppressive. In the one sense, her class status affords her choices and

opportunities for advancement and upward mobility. However, that

achievement is confined within the values of black middle-class morality,

obedience and conformity. Simultaneously she must navigate that

experience through a dominant social system that does not recognize her

community's "up-lift" values but values her as the living and justified

example of the "worst" of adolescent femininity.

Ignored by the media, social scientists and other agents who

provide information for social construction, middle-class adolescent black

girls are scripted into sexual images that do not reflect their class status,

socialization and, often times, location. Understanding the complexity of

these girls' lives can only be realized by acknowledging and upholding their

voices (Dickerson, Hillman, and Foster 1995; Fonow and Cook 1991). The goal

of this study is to discover how middle-class black adolescent females

experience their sociosexual processes in a world that defines their race and

gender as less than. Continuous portrayals of black adolescent sexuality as

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"deviance steeped in poverty" only obscures the realities of black sexual life

and mystifies the complex, clandestine lives of middle-class black girls.

Sexual Scripts: Sexual, Partner Selection and Romantic Friendships

Generally, social scientists are strictly concerned with the physical

aspect of adolescent female sexuality — behavior and outcome. This

dissertation, however, is geared to understanding the non-coital aspects and

intricacies of middle-class black girls' sexuality. Using the adolescent female

sexual script as a guide, this research interprets the intimate aspects of sexual

self-image, partner selection and romantic friendships.

Regardless of race or class, adolescent girls' sociosexuality is guided

by a dominant sexual script (Barber 1994, Laws and Schwartz 1977, Reiss 1960).

Introduced by Reiss (1960) and conceptualized through the women-centered

lens of Laws and Schwartz (1977), sexual scripts have been updated and

contexualized to reflect the diversity of adolescent female sexuality (Baca Zinn

and Eitzen 1993, Barber 1994, Leslie 1995, Luker 1994, Rose 1998, Rubin 1994,

Thompson 1995, Tolman 1996). In spite of the power of patriarchy and

compulsory heterosexism which has transcended time, adolescent girls have

constructed a less restrained, less conservative, but more complex script.

"Today, teenage girls have cultural license to lead sexual lives without getting

married - and most of them do" (Tanenbaum 1995, p. 96). However, this

coital/quasi-coital script has certain social rules, expectations and

consequences. The quasi-coital script refers to "technical virginity" or "second

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virginity," that allows females to remain or regain their purity and innocence

(Laws and Schwartz 1977, Rubin 1994).

Now girls can have experiences and experiment with sex as long as

it is within a monogamous, heterosexual relationship. In other words, it is

okay for a girl to have sex with her one boyfriend (Rubin 1994, Tanenbaum

1995, Thompson 1995). Girls who cross this boundary risk being labeled and

ostracized from male and female peers (Baca Zinn and Eitzen 1993, Rubin

1994, Tanenbaum 1995). For example, lesbians, teen-mothers, virgins, girls

who have sex outside of their monogamous heterosexual relationship, and

girls with multi-partners are operating outside the adolescent female script

and may be socially denounced for doing so. Equally important, now all

sexually curious and active adolescent girls run the risk of life-threatening

and life-altering consequences, such as sexual coercion, sexually transmitted

diseases, unwanted pregnancy and sexual discrimination. This sexual

"freedom" has simultaneously acknowledged adolescent girls' desires (within

a defined relationship), while making them vulnerable to those who would

abuse and/ or use these desires (Davis 1995).

Historically, psychologically, ideologically and socially, males have

had exclusivity to the pleasurable aspects of sex. Even though adolescent girls

have entered this "male-only" arena (that is, assumptions and expectations of

physical pleasure and desire), they must negotiate that script within the

culture of adolescent femininity. This sexual double standard has four major

aspects. It expects adolescent girls: 1) to respond but not initiate (i.e. be

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passive); 2) to refrain from certain activities for an "appropriate" amount of

time and/or until a "suitable" place is available (chaste); 3) to be willing but

unaware of certain acts (inexperienced but agreeable); and more importantly,

4) to be emotionally attached to partners (i.e. loving). While these

expectations are experienced on a continuum, they separate "good" girls from

"bad" girls in the adolescent sexual script; it also controls the ways young

women experience their sociosexuality. For example, she can initiate, but if

she proceeds too fast she may cross the boundary and risk being labeled by her

peers.

There are specific sexual scripts for the various aspects of the sexual

life span. For example, the sexual scripts of pregnant women differ from

women going through menopause (Rossi 1994, Laws and Schwartz 1977). The

adolescents' sexual scripts generally incorporates identifying a sexual self-

image, partner selection and romantic friendships (Baber 1994; Laws and

Schwartz 1977; Simon, Gagnon and Berger 1972). During adolescence, sexual

self-image is extremely complex, especially if the physical changes occurring

during this time are considered -- breast, hip and pubic hair development and

menarche. During this time, adolescents, especially girls, tend to become

absorbed with their appearance. Adolescent girls are concerned with what

appears right and what is appealing. Since the heterosexual double-standard

script dictates that since adolescent girls are only chosen, she must make

herself as choosable as possible (Laws and Schwartz 1977, Lewis 1988,

Robinson and Ward 1995). "She acquires an awareness of the image others

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have of her in a new way; she learns the potency of her female beauty for

others; and she learns the techniques of enhancement, display, and artifice"

(Laws and Schwartz 1977, p. 42). Not only are facial and body desirability

crucial at this time, but how one expresses their sexual self-image through

dress and adornment (Webster and Driskell 1983, hooks 1995).

Considering the importance of peer acceptance, adolescent scripts

concerning partner selection and romantic friendships are also essential to

understanding the sodosexual scripts of adolescent girls. Studies have

indicated that adolescents who date more, have more sexual partners and

hold more permissive attitudes toward sex tend to have higher self-esteem

than those who do not (Anderson and Cyranowski 1994, Samset and Kelly

1987, Walsh 1991). These studies used quantitative self-esteem scales and/or

sexual behavior questions to analyze the correlation between a positive self

perception and romantic friendship. This dissertation, however, qualitatively

documents middle-class black girls' sodo-sexual experiences and the

resistance to the negative black adolescent female sexual script.

Sexual Self-Image

Adolescents' sexual self-image is intrinsically related to their self-

concept (Anderson and Cyranowski 1994, Dukes and Martinez 1994, Samet

and Kelly 1987, Rosenberg 1981). Self-concept is the confluence of one's

thoughts and feelings with reference to oneself. These thoughts and feelings

are shaped by interpersonal interactions, social identity, social contexts and

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social institutions. Nobles (1973) and Rosenberg (1981) explain that blacks are

socially defined and recognized as members of a particular race/ethnic group,

and their interactions as members are critical and internal to their self-

concept. Thus black adolescent middle-class girls' self-concept comes into

being as an outgrowth of the group's being (Hughes and Demo 1989, Lewis

1975, Nobles 1973, Taylor 1976).

As Nobles explains (1973), African descended people have a self-

concept that is an extension of the group's — "I am because we are and

because we are, therefore, I am" (1973, pp. 23-24). This fundamental principle

does not acknowledge a strict distinction between the self and others: the

black self-concept is a product of interpersonal relationships within the

community and family. Thus, views and assumptions of the white majority

tend not to be too obtrusive or altering to the black self-concept.

The self-concept interprets one's self-image, self-regard and self

esteem, even though they are often used interchangeably and synonymously

(Taylor 1976, p. 9). Self-image depends on one's position within the family

and community. Specifically, how one is treated and how one compares to

others dictates self-image. Rosenberg (1981) expands this principle by

explaining who the others are, which aspect of self is being evaluated, and

motivation to accept or reject the evaluation are all consequential to

understanding one's self-image (1981, p. 597).

The sexual self-image is the generalization about one's sexual self.

It is defined as past experiences, manifested in current experiences, that are

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influential in processing sexually relevant social information (Anderson and

Cyranowski 1994, p. 1079). Because of physical changes, personal desires and

pressure of social desirability, the adolescent sexual self-image is extremely

complex. Adolescents girls' sexual self-image concentrates on their

personality traits and personal appearance. Black adolescent girls' personal

appearance is rooted in beauty and body images. How a person looks, what

style they have, and their appeal are essential elements of adolescent girls'

sexual self-image. Personality traits are also essential to adolescent girls'

sexual self-image; their social desirability is based on confidence, intelligence,

sincerity and feminine values.

As members of a marginalized group, middle-class black girls have

a sexual self-image guided by a self-concept that is supported and validated

within their community. Historically, this community has created an

alternative discourse that debunks dominant ideologies about middle-class

black girl's sexual self-image. Outside the community, their beauty and body

image are distorted and ridiculed. For example, black teenager, Venus

Williams, tennis's latest child prodigy, is often described as athletic, strong,

cocky and quick, versus her white opponents who are described as strategic

and cunning. Inside the community, rappers like Sir-Mix-Alot applaud black

females bodies with songs like "I like Big Butts4." Similarly, black middle-

class girls are raised to be smart, independent, self-sufficient and giving.

4 While many rap songs tend to be misogynistic (as some claim here) this particular rap selection does acknowledge and privilege the media-ignored

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These personality traits are often used against adolescent black girls, who are

stereotypically described as loud, pushy and bossy (Orenstein 1994). Ward

(1990) outlines how black adolescent girls' strong self-concept helps guide and

create an intact, positive sexual self-image,

... the process of being and becoming Black provides young women with three essential opportunities for growth. First, there is an opportunity for role - the repudiation of both race-and gender based stereotypes. Second, there is an opportunity to create a new personally defined identity in ones' own terms. And third, when opportunities for leadership are provided, there's a chance to effect change in one's social environment by developing and pursuing one's personal commitments (1990, p. 228).

This process helps middle-class adolescent Black girls negotiate their sexual

self-image through competing situations and circumstances.

Partner Selection

While partner selection is an individual choice, it too is guided by a

heterosexual dominant script. For adolescent girls, the partner-selection

script mandates that the male partner should be older, taller, heavier, wiser

and have more money (hypergamy) (Baca Zinn and Eitzen 1993, p. 231). In

addition, potential partners tend to be of the same race, ethnicity, religion,

age, and class (homogamy). These social aspects, along with location, tend to

govern the pool of eligible partners, especially for adolescents.

Male and female relations within the black community are often

characterized and written from a problematic/ failure approach (Cazenave and

beauty of black female bodies (Crenshaw 1992, Jones 1994, Rose 1998).

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Smith 1993, Dickson 1993, Franklin 1984). According to Franklin (1984), black

male and female relationships are in conflict because black children are raised

with adverse messages. Historically, black girls have been told to work hard

because "... it is hard to find a Black man who will take care of you"

simultaneously, she was told ". . . your ultimate achievement will occur

w hen you have . . . a Black man w ho will take care of you" (1984, p. 368). This

is extremely problematic because black males are taught to be dominant,

aggressive, decisive and even violent if necessary. Because of racism, many

black males feel these traits can only be exhibited within the private domain

of the family (Boyd and Allen 1995, Franklin 1984, McCall 1994). If a black girl

is socialized to be independent, it is makes it difficult to partner with a black

male who is socialized to dominate (Davidson and Moore 1996, Franklin

1984). Cazenave and Smith (1993) argue that these issues are so pervasive

that black adolescents should participate in workshops and seminars to

prepare for the realities of intimate adult heterosexual relationships (p. 167).

Historically, middle-class black partner selection was guarded by a

white-induced but community-sanctioned color code (Frazier 1962, Hughes

and Hertel 1990, Mullins and Sites 1984, Neal and Wilson 1989, Russell et al.

1992, Seltzer and Smith 1991). Robinson and Ward (1995) explain that skin

color continues to be serious consideration for adolescents black boys when

they are choosing partners. Adolescent boys have a preference for lighter-skin

girls than darker-skin girls. This phenomenon is supported by black girls'

observations that boys prefer lighter-skin girls (Bond and Cash 1992, p. 87).

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This internal racism can be difficult when it comes to black girls' perception of

self and social desirability (Neal and Wilson 1989, Okazawa-Rey et al. 1986,

Robinson and Ward 1995). While skin color generally cannot be altered, black

adolescent girls may feel pressured to alter their hair, features, and bodies to

adhere to dominant scripts of beauty and to attract black male attention.

Internal racism and preference for lighter-skin is not isolated to the

black community. All race/ethnic groups confront assimilation,

miscegenation and integration within the larger white community. These

confrontations are often expressed through the macro standards of beauty and

femininity. The dominant standard of beauty tends to exclude and ignore

adolescent girls who are not thin, white, middle-class and attractive. While

skin color preference is problematic, so is the issue of white preference.

According to Staples (1994), it was not until 1968 that society witnessed a

significant increase in interracial dating. The desegregation of public schools,

relaxed racial attitudes and other social changes increased the possibility and

feasibility of interracial relationships. Historically, the majority of interracial

relationships and marriages do not involve black/ white couples but, the

majority of these black/white couples consists of a black male and white

female (Spigner 1994).

Hughes and Hertel (1990) Hem ton (1965) and Staples (1994) argue

that persistent and damaging myths are the key reasons why some black

males prefer white females. That is, black males see black females as less than

a "true woman" or, black males were seeking the Eurocentric expectations

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and traditions of "true womanhood." At the same time, black females see

black males7 preference for white females as personal and communal

rejection. As Hemton (1965) reports,

... black men who become intimate with white women are really trying to escape reality; they are social weaklings or sulking babies ... such men are "betraying" the race as a whole and betraying the black women in particular (1965, p. 141).

Consciously and subconsciously, black male/female relationships and lives

are strained by interracial relationships. Staples (1994) does explain that shifts

in society, including upward mobility, the sex ration, region, and opportunity

increase the likelihood of interracial relationships. In fact, he argues that if

current trends continue, the number of black women marrying white men

will increase and surpass the traditional black male/ white female union.

While macro phenomenon can alter social behavior, partner

selection concentrates on desirable attributes (Cazenave and Smith 1993,

Dickson 1993, Franklin 1984, Lempers and Gark-Lempers 1993). For

adolescent girls, partner selection tends to focus on physical attractiveness,

congenial personality and a sense of humor (superficial qualities); however,

these preferences change with age and mature to focus on a dependable

character, emotional stability and ambition (enduring virtues) (Davidson and

Moore 1996, p. 301).

For black adolescent girls, there is little concern or dialogue for

their partner-script. The dominant sexual-script for black girl portrays her as

free, open and easily seduced (Hunton 1904, Murry 1994, Robinson and Ward

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1991, Tolman 1996). H er partner selection is often described in the context of

the relationship between the partner's ability to reproduce and her material

gain. In other words, she is scripted to want someone who can reproduce so

she can get money from him or receive the meager government benefits

designated for single mothers.

This dissertation, however, identifies the specific characteristics

that middle-class black adolescent girls find desirable in a partner. In

addition, it outlines how these characteristics differ from those offered in the

dominant sexual black girl script. Specifically, this study will listen to middle-

class black girls' voices to identify the social and personal attributes they find

desirable in a partner. Unlike other studies that stifle and moot middle-class

black girls' sexual scripts, this dissertation queries middle-class black

adolescent girls about their definitions and assumptions of a good partner.

Romantic Friendships

Information about adolescent romance is convoluted within the

text of adolescent dating and courtship (Feiring 1996; Silbereisen, Noack and

von Eye 1992; Thorton 1990). The literature tends to illuminate and

emphasize only the sexual aspects of emerging heterosexual relationships

(Feiring 1996, p. 181). These sexually oriented studies have created a void on

the information about the daily context and intricacies of adolescent romance.

Equally frustrating, dating/courtship studies concentrate on upper-and

middle-income, white adolescent samples (Cooper and Grotevant 1987,

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Feiring 1996, Gargiulo et al. 1987, Lempers and Clark-Lempers 1993,

Silbereisen, Noack and von Eye 1992, Thorton 1990).

However, these studies have uncovered critical aspects of

adolescent romantic friendships. First, adolescent romance begins in the

public domain with peer groups (parties, malls, and other adolescent

activities) (Feiring 1996; Silbererisen, Noack and von Eye 1992). Second, as the

romance matures, the couple tends to spend more time alone in private

settings and the prospect of noncoital/ coital activities increases (Silbererisen,

Noack and von Eye 1992, Thorton 1990). Third, while relatively short, these

relationships are intense and time consuming (Feiring 1996, p. 192). And

fourth, adolescent girls are more concerned with interpersonal attributes than

adolescent boys (Cooper and Grotevant 1987, Davidson and Moore 1996;

Feiring 1996, Laws and Schwartz 1977, Lempers and Clark-Lempers 1993).

The dominant script of adolescent love tends to isolate the concept

of romance (Laws and Schwartz 1977, p. 113); however, romance does not

have to occur within the emotion of love, and love does not require

romance (Hendrick and Hendrick 1992). The romance script tends to describe

the adolescent girl as anxious, irresponsible and so excited that she is

powerless to fight the sexual expectations of someone in love (Hatfield and

Sprecher 1996, Hendrick and Hendrick 1992, Laws and Schwartz 1977). This

dominant script depicts feminine love as emotional, vulnerable and intense.

For black adolescent girls, there is no text or dialogue about their

romance. Again, their scripts are relegated to the physical aspects of romantic

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love because they are "emotionally bankrupt7' and only interested in

relationships for their material gain (Robinson and Ward 1991; Tolman 1996).

This study will attempt to discover and describe the perplexities and

intimacies of middie-class black adolescent girls' romantic friendships.

Similar to Feiring's (1996) study of romance on 15-year-old

teenagers, this project will attempt to identify the frequency and context of

contact (via telephone or in person) between romantic partners. It will also

examine where the activities takes place, the likes and dislikes of their

romantic partners and the advantages of having a romantic partner.

However, this project will also advance Feiring's work by exploring what

happens when romantic partners are together. It will focus on resources,

time, and emotion that black middle-class girls invest in romantic

friendships. And more important, for the first time it will begin to develop

the text about middle-class black girls' definitions and conceptualizations of

romance.

Using a three-pronged approach — sexual self-image, partner

selection and romantic friendships — this research discovers and explains

how adolescent middle-class black girls resist and alter the dominant sexual

script assigned to black adolescent females. Understanding that these scripts

are based on racist, dassist and sexist assumptions, this research debunks and

demonstrates the inconstancies of privilege and oppression. Historically,

middle-class black girls have had to walk through life-resisting and combating

images and assumptions about their femaleness. At the same time, they

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must master and transcend those images and assumptions. Robinson and

Ward (1991) explain,

. . . forms of resistance under taken solely to maintain survival can represent dysfunctional adaptations of an oppressive reality and tend only to provide short term relief, efforts or resistance taken up to promote the liberation of one's self and one's community require and sustain a self-conscious process of seeking to identify and transcend imposed systemic barriers by drawing upon the strengths of one's history and cultural connections (1991, p. 90).

This daily resistance and persistence may help explain why black girls

maintain a high self-esteem throughout adolescence. In fact, their self-esteem

exceeds white or Latina girls. In addition, black girls tend to maintain a strong sense

of personal and familial importance throughout adolescence (American

Association of University Women 1991; M ann 1994; McClean Taylor, Gilligan and

Sullivan; Orstein 1994). Equally critical, adolescent black girls are taught to draw on

their culture and history. For middle-class black girls, this has been a culture of

resistance that is guided by African, Christian and feminine values. These

adolescent girls have historically been protected and nurtured within the privilege

of parental involvement, communal expectations and economic security.

Also, middle-class adolescent black girls have to negotiate their sexual

self-image, partner selection and romantic friendship within the context of privilege

and oppression. Understanding the complexity of middle-class black adolescent

female sexuality is the aim of this dissertation. Using a black feminist framework

and qualitative methods, this research will help reveal exactly how these girls

experience and interpret their sexual self-images, partner selections and romantic

friendships in the context of a social system that stigmatizes their race and gender.

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THEORETICAL AND METHODOLOGICAL FRAMEWORK:

A SOCIOLOGICAL BLACK FEMINIST PERSPECTIVE

This chapter outlines the theoretical and methodological

approaches that guide this dissertation. These methodological and theoretical

designs are interrelated and complementary. I use a qualitative approach

directed by a black feminist perspective. In order to capture the meanings and

essence of a black feminist perspective, particularly in sociology, it is

important to understand some of the history and foundations of sociological

feminist theory.

Therefore, this chapter first highlights the goals and contributions

of feminism within sociology and briefly outlines basic feminist theories

often used in this discipline. Then, I explain why these basic feminist

theories do not capture or adequately interpret the lives of people of color.

More important, I also explain how women scholars of color, while staying

true to basic theoretical goals and contributions, transcend these traditional

uses of sociological feminism. I also focus on black feminism and its related

current debates. I then describe how the confluence of black feminism guides

the qualitative framework of this dissertation. Finally, I outline how the data

are organized and how they will be interpreted.

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Understanding the Basics: Sociological Feminism

Sociological feminist thinkers advocate inquiry that promotes

equality, equity and freedom for all women (Andersen 1993, England 1993,

Jagger and Rothenberg 1993, Wallace 1989, Baca Zinn and Thorton Dill 1994).

Specifically, they study, analyze and challenge the difference, inequality and

oppression that women experience (Lengermann and Niebrugge-Brantly

1992). Sociological feminist thinkers are afflicted, stifled and, at the same

time, empowered by the very same structures they are attempting to

understand, influence and ultimately transcend (Lorde 1984, pp. 110-113).

By its very nature, sociology is influenced by changing ideologies.

These shifting doctrines can have profound implications for the discipline

(Ritzer 1992). The women's movement, in particular, had a serious effect on

sociology and how the discipline was used to conceptualize and contextualize

gender, especially the lives of women. Andersen describes the women's

movement as,

... as a full-fledged movement, with a variety of organizations, local consciousness-raising groups, and political strategies intended to advocate transformations in women's status in society (1993, p. 285).

The influx and contributions of feminism challenged and expanded how

sociologists examined everyday life. This female-centered point of view

grounded the experiences of everyday life (Fonow and Cook 1991, Bell- Scott

1982, Smith 1979). Specifically, feminist sociologists inquire about women's

position in society; how inequality emerged; the nature of their relationships

with men, and how they can change their social status (Lengermann and

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Niebrugge-Brantly 1992). According to Wallace (1989), asking these questions

has led to the critique and evaluation of existing theories, which has, in turn,

led to the discovery of new topics and concepts. Equally important, the use

and linkages of interdisciplinary concepts contributed to the creation of this

new sociological paradigm (1989, p. 11).

Basically, sociological feminism embraces established sociological

theories that have been reworked, reread and reanalyzed from a female-

centered perspective (Andersen 1993, Tong 1989, Wallace 1989). By applying a

gendered lens to existing sociological theories, it challenges traditional

assumptions and epistemologies that guided sociological theory. However,

even with their profound arguments, feminist thinkers continue to be stifled

by several fundamentals of sociology: its functional assumptions of gender, its

reduction of gender to a variable rather than centering gender as a theoretical

concept, and its minimizing of the importance and contributions of a

feminist perspective (Stacey and Thome 1985, p. 306).

Regardless of these barriers, feminists have reconceptualized

several theories to help sociologists explain women's lives. In sociology,

there are six general theories. Five of these -- liberalism, Marxism, radicalism,

socialism and psychoanalytical — tend to guide feminist thinking. The sixth —

race, class and gender analyses -- will also be discussed, but I will also explain

how’ and why it emerged. Lastly, I will discuss the fundamentals of a black

feminist perspective.

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First, liberal feminism emphasizes individual rights and the

assumption that all people (men and woman) are equal and thus should be

given equal opportunities to work in established economic and political

systems. Liberal feminists believe that existing political and legal channels

can be used to change and equalize gender inequality. Liberal feminism is

expressed through national organizations like National Organization of

Women (NOW), Planned Parenthood and the National Council of Negro

Women (NCNW).

On the other hand, Marxist feminists believe capitalistic class

relations are the ultimate barrier to women's equality. Therefore, through

revolution, class distinctions will be destroyed, which will in turn eliminate

the unequal gender relations embedded within capitalism. Feminists who

use a Marxist lens tend to focus on the institution of the family and the

household (i.e. patriarchy) to explain women's inequality. According to

Marxist feminists, women's subordination is explained by understanding

their relegation within capitalism — either in the unpaid domestic sphere

and/or in the paid labor force, exploited through their menial duties and low

pay. Marxist feminism is reflected in the works of Catherine MacKinnon

(1982) and Evelyn Reed (1993).

Third, radical feminists believe all societies are characterized by

some degree of oppression, and patriarchal oppression is the primary cause of

women's inequality. Radical feminists believe compulsory heterosexism

controls human reproduction, which enslaves women's sexuality,

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childbearing and childrearing. They argue that women should rework their

consciousness, organize around sisterhood and, separate themselves from

men. Radical feminist thinkers include Charlotte Bunch (1987) and

Shulamith Firestone (1993).

Feminists who analyze society from a socialist lens see patriarchy

and capitalism as two distinct forms of oppression and when they intersect,

create a unified system of domination that oppresses women psychologically

and economically. Socialist feminists argue that regardless if it is material

patriarchy (i.e. control over material resources) or non-material patriarchy

(i.e. social and sexual control over women) women are subordinated. Heidi

Hartmann's (1981) discussion of the marriage and family clearly articulates a

socialist feminist perspective.

Based on Freudian concepts, psychoanalytical feminist thinkers

believe gender relations are the product of the different socialization

processes experienced by males and females. Also central to this argument is

m en's fear of death (Lengermann and Neiburgge-Brantley, 1992, p. 332-333).

Since men are so distant from the reproductive process, they have an innate

fear of death. Therefore, they adopt defenses that lead to the domination of

women. This includes control of things that outlast them — weapons,

buildings, science and religion.

This stark contrast affects how females and males experience reality

and express morality. These experiences are imbedded deeply in the

individual and social psyches of men and women. Therefore,

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psychoanalytical feminist thinkers advocate a change in how society views

the social order. Specifically, females and males should be socialized to

experience all aspects of realities; females should not simply be socialized for

motherhood and males for the paid labor force. Psychoanalytical feminist

thinkers include Nancy Chodorow (1989) and Carol Gilligan (1982).

Sociology and Feminist of Color: Expanding the Terrain

By debunking macro and micro gender relations, feminist thinkers

and their analyses were essential to pushing sociology to a new level of

thought and practice. However, these women-centered inquiries rarely

analyzed the complexities of race, ethnicity and racism. Therefore, scholars of

color, particularly women, began to challenge these monolithic

interpretations of womenhood, which were implied to mean white women.

Sociology's women-revised theories could not recognize or capture the

specific experiences of women of color. As Hurtado (1987) explains,

.. . white feminist theory has yet to integrate the facts that for a women of Color race, class and gender subordination are experienced simultaneously and their oppression is not only by members of their own group bu t by white of both genders (1987, p. 839).

In reaction to the race and class exclusivity of these theories and the

subsequent body of knowledge they produced, women of color began to

document and share their realities (Chow 1991, Baca Zinn and Thorton Dill

1994, Hill Collins 1991, hooks 1981, H urtado 1987, Moraga and Anzaldua

1983). By recording and expressing their realities, these scholars brought

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attention to the interlocking and interdependent systems of race, class and

gender.

Women scholars of color, tend to experience and study society

from an interpretive, historical and culturally centered stand-point.

Adhering to sociological feminist assumptions, feminists of color begin

inquiry by privileging and recognizing everyday "ordinary" knowledge

(Christen 1990; Dickerson, Hillman and Foster 1995; Smith 1979; Tandon

1988). Oppressed by race and its historical effects, scholars of color see

women's specific location as a resource of knowledge. This being the case,

women scholars of color also adopt an interdiscipiinary approach to

conceptualize and articulate the lives of women.

However, feminists of color come from a history of colonization,

enslavement and/or racial oppression. Therefore, they tend to incorporate

more interpretive disciplines such as literature, history and qualitative social

science methods to explore gender (Chow 1997, Hill Collins 1991, Moraga and

Anzaldua 1983, Thorton Dill 1994). Traditional sociological theories, even

when they are reworked, reread and reanalyzed from a feminist perspective,

do not reflect the historical, cultural and social experiences of people of color.

The interpretive, interdisciplinarian approach, however, allows sociologists

who study race, class and gender to do so in a reflective manner and

transcend traditional sociological barriers (Chow, Wilkinson and Baca Zinn

1996Baca Zinn and Thorton Dill 1994;).

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More interpretive disciplines especially literature, history, religion

and anthropology, have been able to integrate and center the meanings of

masculinity and femininity within society (Nielsen and Abromeit 1993,

Stacey and Thom e 1985). As Stacey and Thom e explain,

Anthropologist have begun to move beyond the woman-centered strategy to decipher the gendered basis of all social and cultural life, tracing the significance of gender organization and relations in all institution and in shaping men's as well as women's live (Stacey and Thome 1985, p. 306).

Thus feminist thinkers of color within social science, particularly sociology,

are using these interpretations to help explain gender relations and how they

are experienced through the complex social systems of race, class and gender.

Theoretically and collectively women of color have a specific

experience within US society that is fundamentally tied to being female and

nonwhite. This historical fact produces a situation where people of color,

males and females, experience racial oppression equally but differently. This

creates unique and specific gender relations within and outside particular

race/ethnic communities (Baca Zinn and Eitzen 1993, Thorton Dill 1994,

Young and Dickerson 1994).

These internal and culturally relevant gender relations are

essential to understanding women of color and their perspectives. Regardless

of race or ethnicity, feminists of color recognize the importance of men in the

struggle for equality. Since men and women both experience racism, male

participation is imperative to achieve equality, equity and freedom. This

particular social situation makes the interconnected relationship of work,

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family and community fundamental to understanding the essence of

feminist thinking among women of color. Specifically, they must work with

men to provide themselves and their children the opportunity and hope to

experience equality, equity and freedom.

Black Feminism: Origins and Current Debates

Black feminist thought emerges from the historical writings and

community activism of black women (Gates 1990, Giddings 1984, Wilson

Logan 1995 Sterling 1984). The combination of a documented past and an

active communal and work life helps explain the realities and visions of

black feminism. Simultaneously, black women's care ethic, work ethic and

commitment to community continue to be a valuable source and site of

knowledge that guides black feminist thinking (Gordon 1991, Gidding 1984,

Hill Collins, 1991, Towsend Gilkes 1994). Black women's writings and

activism built organizations like the National Association to Advance

Colored People (NAACP), the Urban League and the Association for the

Study of Afro-American Life and History, all of which still exists today

(Towsend Gilkes 1994, p. 236).

Black women's activism was international in scope guided by

religious doctrine and built upon feminist principles. This activism is

expressed along a continuum. At one end, this activism is micro in nature,

including for example, black women's care ethic, their everyday

responsibilities and duties to the black community (Davis 1971, Gordon 1991,

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Hill Collins 1991, Jones 1985). At the other end of the continuum, black

women's activism was expressed by their international missionary work,

teaching and community development in places like Africa and the

Caribbean. The majority of black women involved in this macro level of

activism, were highly educated and single. While most of the work was done

in the south, many black women from the north relocated to support the

efforts of the larger "more oppressed" black community. Therefore, these

women established friendships and networks that were international in

scope.

This activism centered around a black women's devotion and

commitment to her community. These women provided services that the

white community would not or could not offer. They built schools, senior

citizen's homes and community centers. According to Gordon (1991), black

women in several cities organized health maintenance organizations

(HMOs); with the dues from the members, they hired physicians on an

annual or quarterly basis. Their activism represented diligence, faith and

strategic planning. They had to rely on a small group of donors to support a

large group of potential recipients. "Thus a large portion of their political

energy went to raising money, and under the most difficult circumstance,

trying to collect from the poor and limited middle class to help the poor"

(Gordon 1991, p. 561).

Regardless, if the activism was direct and personally felt (i.e. micro

activism), or indirect and communally shared (i.e. macro activism), black

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women expressed, experienced and extended their intersected realities

through it. The embeddedness and relationality of race, class and gender

situate black women in a social reality that experiences its underpinnings and

essence through a feminist lens (Brewer 1993, p. 16).

Also fundamental to a black feminist perspective are the actual

words black women used to state and assert the multiplicative nature of their

experiences. Through speeches, diaries, books, poems and interviews black

women articulated what it meant to be female and black. These intellectual

and aesthetic contributions resisted distinct assumptions about race and

gender in order to bring forth a voice and analysis that reflect both concerns

simultaneously. "It is often in the poem, the story, the play, rather than in

Western philosophical theorizing, that [black] feminist thought/feelings

evolves, challenges and renews itself" (Christen 1990, p. 49). Black women

artists, particularly writers, used their muse and talent to reveal their essence,

to express their hardships and abuses, to explain their unconditional love,

and to document their contributions to the black community's needs,

aspirations and hopes. These texts illustrate and texturize the point where

race and gender intersect. As Hardman-Cromwell explains:

Historically black women writers have claimed for black women the rights of self-esteem, self-determination, and celebration of their unique identity in a world inclined to treat blacks as nonpersons and black women as nonfemales (1995, p. 106).

These artists and intellectuals sculpted, cooked, quilted, wrote and sang their

way into existence. These works were rediscovered and uplifted during the

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1970s to help fully and systematically outline, lay out and introduce a black

feminist theory.

According to Christen (1990), duCulle (1994), Hill Collins (1996),

there were a number of key texts and social science studies that rediscovered,

centered and articulated a black feminist perspective. These texts included

works in literature by Audre Lorde, Alice Walker and June Jordan; black

feminist anthologies, like The Black Woman bv Toni Cade Bambara, and

historical, political and sociological books like The Afro-American Woman:

Struggles and Images, edited by Sharon Harley and Rosalyn Terborg-Penn,

and Tomorrow7 s Tomorrow by sociologist Joyce Ladner. These women-

centered works not only reclaimed a history that was ignored, but articulated

a feminist standpoint that was not recognized in the black power movement

and was ignored in the women's movement (Hardman-Cromwell 1995,

Joseph and Lewis 1981).

Both movements pushed forth agendas that rendered the black

women neither unimportant nor invisible. Even though black women were

the organizers and intellectual force behind the black power movement, their

specific needs as women were always reduced to meeting agendas and

"women-talk." This "women-talk" was always a point of contention and

disruption (Brown 1992). The black power movement did address a

fundamental cord for black women, racial equality.

However, the women's movement also did not recognize race;

therefore, its agenda could not verbalize the realities of black women's lives.

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According to Joseph and Lewis (1981), sexual freedom, access to employment,

separation from men, and recognition of women's contributions were core

issues of the women's movement. Clearly, all of these issues were critical to

black women too, but how they were packaged, presented and positioned

alienated most women of color. For example, white women's desire for

financial autonomy through paid labor had been a daily reality for most black

women. And, white women's emphasis on eradicating the "helpless female"

stereotype was equally alien (Joseph and Lewis 1981, p. 28).

Again, for black women, their direct association with slavery and

hard physical labor made these issues seem trivial in the pursuit of gender

equality. Both the women's movement and what the word feminism itself

implied did not consider race. Therefore, they were rejected by the black

community and many of its academicians (Dickerson 1994, Hill Collins 1996,

Joseph and Lewis 1981). However, when asked most black women agree with,

and as a way of life, practice feminism. But, they do not associate or identify

with the word or the movement (Dickerson 1994, Golden and Richards

Shreve 1995; Hill Collins 1996, Joseph and Lewis 1981, Sanders 1995).

This perspective represents the simultaneous resistance to the non

recognition of the black power movement and the inability of the women's

movement to explore and politicize black women's emancipation. More

important, it verbalizes a black feminist epistemology that fuses black

women's creative and intellectual writings with their daily and communal

activism. Specifically, black feminist theorists have explained that to grasp

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the basics of black womanhood is to understand the point where race, class

and gender intersect. It also demonstrates how that point is personally

experienced, and how it is perceived and interpreted within and outside the

black community.

Since the 1970s, black feminist theorists have produced numerous

works to expound, express and explain black women's lives (Gates 1990; Guy-

Sheftall 1995; Hill Collins 1991; hooks 1981,1984,1989; Hull, Bell Scott and

Smith 1982; James and Busia 1993; Malson, Mudimbe-Boyi, C/Barr and Wyer

1988; Mullings 1997; Omalade 1994). These theorists have claimed that you

must acknowledge the various points of view that black women express. The

matrix of domination (Davis, 1971, Hill Collins, 1991, pp. 225-230), the

simultaneity of oppression (Brewer 1993, p. 16), the multiple jeopardy and

multiple consciousness (King 1988) and the dialectics of being a black women

(Thorton Dill 1988) are the basic principles of black feminist theory. This

knowledge base recognizes the interaction of black women's history, intellect,

culture and activism.

Inside and outside academe, black feminist thinkers have created a

niche where their works are celebrated and acknowledged. Within the

"ivory-tower," black women's texts have been finally infused and included in

black studies and gender programs as chapter readings and class assignments.

In some cases, black women's lives have been elevated to entire courses,

where all texts are about black women (Dickerson, 1995; Hull, Bell Scott and

Smith 1982; pp. 337-378).

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Black feminist theory has evolved to the point where theorists

within the field are departmentalizing and specializing in what kind of

specific feminism or womanism they practice (Hill Collins 1991,1996, Sanders

1995, Williams 1990,). Even though black feminist thinkers come from a

wide range of disciplines and posses a variety of expertise and skills —religion,

Afrocentrism, social work, artists, activists, entrepreneurs and scientists — this

particular debate centers around what a black women's active and intellectual

perspective should be called — black feminism or womanism (Hill Collins

1996, Williams 1990).

The terms womanist and womanism comes from Alice Walker's

(1983) evolving definition, which she positions as black women's version of

feminism (Douglas and Sanders 1995). According to womanists, Alice

Walker offers this term as a political, academic, artistic and emotional tool to

express black women's feminist perspectives. Womanists do not disavow

feminist principles and goals; however, their definitions and assumptions

claim to capture all that the women's movement failed to provide black

women. Womanists also argue that the term womanism reflects black

women's connotation of feminism. Specifically but not exclusively, this

involves including men in liberation, centering race and community, and

acknowledging black women's unique perspectives.

However, Hill Collins (1996) argues that this is not just a simple

switch of words, but the term needs to be thoroughly analyzed and deciphered

to ensure we do not obscure the basic struggle for equality, equity and

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freedom. (For academic and political Familiarity, I am using the word

feminism, however, personally I indentify with the meaning and intent of

womanism.) As Hill Collins explains, Walker says a womanist loves woman

"sexually and/or non-sexually," but womanists and other black theorists

continue to avoid issues of black lesbianism (Hill Collins 1996, p. 12). (The

vast majority of the girls identify themselves as heterosexual. This study,

however, acknowledges the unique perspectives and experiences of

adolescent lesbians.) Equally important, du Cille (1994) warns all black

feminist thinkers to be aware of their own demise. As du Cille explains,

To claim privileged access to the lives and literature of African American women through what we hold to be the shared experiences of our black female bodies is to cooperate with our own commodifications, to buy from and sell back to the dominant culture its constitution of our always already essentialized identity (1994, p. 608).

As black feminist theorizing continues to expand and grow, it will further

illuminate and demonstrate that unique point where race and gender

intersect to reveal multiple levels of knowledge and consciousness.

A Black Feminist Methodological Approach: Understanding Middle-class Adolescent Females

The research framework for this dissertation is guided by a black

feminist epistemology. The ultimate goal in using this model is to capture

the sexual self-image, partner selection and romantic friendships of middle-

class adolescent black girls. Using long individual and focus groups, I center a

black feminist framework that assumes the language, attitudes, values and

cultural context of black people, especially black women (Hill Collins 1986;

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hooks 1984; Omolade 1994; Thorton-Dill 1988) are affirmed and privileged.

Interviewing allows me to transcend traditional sociological barriers, and

easily embrace the assumptions of a black feminist theory. Thus, the long and

focus group questions, acknowledge and center the girls' race, class, gender,

age and sexuality. Equally important, these questions revealed how their

particular social situation is experienced and how that experience is perceived

within and outside the black community.

Also central to this black feminist framework is the recognition of

the multiple layers and levels of consciousness that black females possess.

Therefore, these interviews captured how being black, adolescent, female and

middle-class intersect with these girls' sexual self-image, partner selection and

romantic friendships (Stanfield 1994, Hill Collins 1986, Reinharz 1992). This

theoretical approach advocates a critical/ constructive qualitative framework

that examines the inequality, difference and oppression that black adolescent

females experience.

The basic objective of qualitative interviewing is to understand

how people experience phenomena and how those experiences determine

behavior and action (Denizen 1989, Fontana and Frey 1994, McCraken 1988,

Seidman 1991). I conducted semi-structured, long individual interviews and

focus groups to gain insight into how middle-class black girls understand

their sexuality. The interviews adhered to the scientific obligations of

reliability and validity by providing instant verification of information and

interpretation (McCraken 1988). More important, the interviews were

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conversational, interactive, reflexive and fluid, which are all critical elements

of black female culture (Dickerson 1994, King and Mitchell 1990). This

approach also allowed me to put behavior into the appropriate context and

provides access to understanding how that context affects behavior (Seidman

1991, p. 4).

This methodological approach allowed for several things: 1) the

support of the epistemological foundations of the study; 2) the creation of "...

active co-researchers in the inquiry process .. ." (Dickerson 1994:102); 3) ”[t]he

consensual or shared feelings of "telling it like it is" which denote the

reliability of the data collection method" (King and Mitchell 1990: 97); 4) the

dissemination of information, which is an inherent feature of the

methodology -- especially since each informant discussed and discovered

various aspects of her sexuality and 5) the generation of new ideas and

strategies for empowerment (Dickerson, Hillman and Foster 1995). Finally, it

generated specific information about race, class, gender, sexual orientation,

and age hierarchies that are rarely documented in sexuality studies

(Laumann, Gagnon, Michael and Michaels 1994; Stimpson and Pearson 1980;

Sugar 1990).

Research Design: Interviewing Middle-Class Black Girls

This qualitative study explores and describes the sexual self-image,

partner selection and social relationships of middle-class black adolescent

girls. As an exploratory project, its main purpose is to examine subjects that

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have been relatively unstudied (Babbie 1995). As a descriptive study, its aim

is to carefully and deliberately describe situations and events (Babbie 1995).

The participants are middle-class girls who live in the Washington,

DC, metropolitan area. These adolescent girls generally identified themselves

as black and middle-class. For clarity, this dissertation defines middle-class as

the social networks, including neighborhood, church, school, club

membership and social cliques, that these girls experience. Basically, the girls

were told and understood the goals of the project. Most of the girls came

from homes where an extended family was present and the majority of the

parents and/or relatives had college degrees and worked in professional jobs.

Last, adolescence is defined as girls between the ages of 15 and 20.

To recruit participants, I started with the snowball technique and

later added the purposive technique. These girls were also asked to

recommend friends who fit the project description and would be willing to

share their views. With the snowball technique, I had entree into a private,

dues-supported group that provides educational and leadership forums for

black middle-class adolescents. I began with one respondent and she then

referred other girls. Once that source went dry, I started using the purposive

method. I asked friends, co-workers, professors, the dissertation transcriber

and professionals who work with adolescents if they knew girls who would

be willing to participate, and equally important, who fit the studies

description.

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This purposive strategy included meeting one respondent in the

shoe section of a Washington, DC, department store. I also employed this

strategy to conduct the focus groups. For all three groups, I paid "research

assistants" (three "assistants" were long interview respondents and one

young woman was a contact through a Howard University professor) to help

recruit and conduct the focus groups. This purposive nonprobability

sampling strategy depended on respondents to refer people they knew and,

more important, people whom they think would be interested in

participating in the project. Adhering to the functions of black feminist

theory, these middle-class black girls were included as active agents of the

research methodology and design by recommending other girls within their

social circles to participate in the study.

Following American University's (AU) Institutional Review Board

(IRB) guidelines, the girls had to contact me if they were interested. Once the

girls called me, I explained what the study was about, why it was important,

and how their views and perceptions could contribute to documenting a

middle-class black adolescent female perspective. Most were enthusiastic and

excited about participating.

Since these girls were extremely busy with extra-curricular

activities, including college preparatory classes, sports, jobs and church

activities, I allowed them to decide and determine when was the best time to

be interviewed. The interviews were conducted at all times of the day and

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week — early in the morning, midday, weeknights and weekends. The girls

were interviewed in a variety of settings.

The long interviews took place in my home, their homes,

classrooms, dormrooms and libraries. The first focus group was conducted in

Washington, DC, at SisterSpace and Books (the nation's only self-owned and

operated black women's book store), with the help of a Howard University

(HU) sociology undergraduate. The second was held on AU's campus with

the assistance of an AU sociology undergraduate. The last was held in Bowie,

Maryland, in the home of and with the assistance of two long interviewees.

At the mid-point of each focus group, lunch was served. (I served pizza at

SisterSpace and in Bowie, lasagna and salad at AU.) Generally focus groups

are not identified and labeled by location, particularly when there is a chance,

however slim, that statements could be identified. But, the focus group

locations help explain certain statem-~*_ts and themes and outweigh the slim

possibility of disclosure. Therefore, I labeled the focus groups by their specific

locations -- American University (AU), Bowie, Maryland (Bowie) and

Howard University (HU).

As researcher and group facilitator, my role was to provide semi

structured questions that could articulate new discussion and discovery; to

ensure that each focus group fully examined the specific areas of study —

sexual self-awareness, partner selection and romantic friendships; to

encourage all members to contribute to the dialogue and discovery; to be

willing to share my own experiences if asked. Therefore an ice-breaker

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questionnaire and litany (see Appendix A and B) was used to create and bring

together a group cohesiveness. The group interview members read the litany

out-loud together. All of the interviews were conducted semi-priva tely, if

not in a private space. For example, one participant's mother continued to

enter the interviewing space, which caused the participant to lower her voice

and conceal her response from her mother. Other times, the respondent and

myself were totally alone, without any interference. After the long interview

was completed, the respondents were asked to give an alias to further secure

anonymity, and all participants were given movie tickets as a token of my

appreciation. I also hoped this token would encourage other girls to

participate.

All respondents who were under eighteen had to have a parent or

guardian sign their consent form (see Appendix C). Both the long inteviews

and focus groups interviews were presented with similar questions, (the focus

group questions were based on information gathered from the individual

interviews) but I encouraged and prodded participants to explore and drift

into related topics. The questions were open-ended and designed to illicit

feelings and thoughts that explore and describe sexuality, in particular, sexual

self-image, partner selection and romantic friendships (see Appendix D and

E).

All of the interviews were taped and transcribed for data analysis. I

conducted a total of 38 long interviews (see Appendix F) that lasted from a

little less than one hour to more than two and one-half hours. Three group

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groups (see Appendix G) (two with girls 18-20 years old and one with girls 15-

17 year olds) had a total number of 23 girls. All of the group interviews were

longer than two and one-half hours.

Organizing and Interpreting the Data

Once the interviews were transcribed, I listened to each tape to

make minor edits and corrections to the text. While the transcriber did an

excellent job, there were places where she misunderstood or misinterpreted

words and phrases. More important, listening to the tapes gave me an

opportunity to really concentrate on the girls' comments. When I was

conducting the interviews, the goal was to ask questions and record answers.

This was the first time I really heard what the girls were saying and what they

meant.

After listening and editing the text, I was able to make preliminary

generalizations about their sexual self-image, partner selection and romantic

friendships. The listening and interpreting allowed me to see the best way to

organize the vast amount of data I collected. This strategy was extremely

helpful in conceptualizing how the data should be organized to use the

qualitative software QSR (qualitative solutions & research) NUD * 1ST1.

Each theme (sexual self-image, partner selection and romantic

friendships) was operationalized into a dominant script and personal

1 QSR (qualitative solutions& research) NUD * 1ST is the qualitative software package I used to organize and categorize data.

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narrative. The dominant script represents how the girls describe and view

the stereotypical black girl; the personal narrative describes how they

interpret their own sexual self-image, partner selection and romantic

friendships. Each one of these themes exemplifies several ideas and sub

themes. For example, sexual self-image includes interpretations of beauty,

personality traits and social expectations.

While all the girls responded to similar questions, the focus groups

data was used to interpret, outline, structure and contextualize themes, ideas

and sub-themes. Thus, each chapter will begin with an outline of how the

focus groups defined sexual self-image, partner selection and romantic

friendships. Using a black feminist framework, I will contextualize those

various definitions and themes. My analysis will be followed by the

dominant script — the respondents' interpretations of the stereotypical girl.

Finally, I outline the personal narrative — how the respondents interpreted

and revealed themselves.

This analysis privileges Linda Williamson Nelson's interpretation

of the insider-outsider status (1996). As an anthropologist, she reminds

researchers that as close as you think you are to your respondents, you are still

in the position of power and authority. Williamson Nelson defines your

gradations of endogeny (p. 184), specifically, in term s of how close you are as

an insider and as far as you are as an outsider. While I am, black, female,

middle-class and, at one time, an adolescent, I am the researcher attempting

to document and record the girls' lives. As Williamson Nelson explains,

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"Although the researcher looks alike, speaks the same language, and share

many of the same beliefs and customs, the researcher still approaches the

informant to observe them" {1996, p. 194).

My analysis walks the fine line between being a researcher and a

homegirl (Williamson Nelson 1996, p. 184). My insider status allows me to

infer from our similar experiences as black middle-class females. However, I

still have to acknowledge I am not an adolescent; these girls also have their

own specific language, culture and norms, which inherently positions me as

an outsider. Acknowledging and understanding my own gradation of

endogeny keeps me from making simple assumptions and implications about

their lives because I have insider status.

This chapter outlined the theoretical and methodological

approaches of this dissertation. The goal of these approaches are to employ

the voices and synergy of middle-class adolescent black girls to add to the

many layers, contributions and knowledge base of black feminist theory and

practice. This dissertation presents adolescents' views and experiences of that

space, where race, class, gender, age and sexuality intersect. Using the voices

of these adolescent girls, I unveil the multi-consciousness — the complexities,

triumphs, tragedies and joys — of being Black, middle-class, adolescent and

female at the dawn of the millennium.

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THE DOMINANT SCRIPT AND PERSONAL NARRATIVES:

UNDERSTANDING THE SEXUAL SELF-IMAGE OF

MIDDLE CLASS BLACK GIRLS

This chapter unveils how black middle-class girls decipher and

understand the stereotypical black girl's sexual self-image. Equally important,

it reveals how these girls perceive their own sexual self-image. Specifically, I

discuss how black middle class girls interpret, experience and resist these

stereotypes. This chapter begins with the girls' definitions of a sexual self-

image, followed by a black feminist interpretation of that definition. I then

discuss how these girls describe the stereotypical girl's sexual self-image,

followed by a discussion of their own sexual self-images. Finally, I will

discuss the relationship between the dominant sexual self-image script and

the personal narrative of middle-class black girls' sexual self-image.

Sexual Self-Image: Focus Group Respondents Indentifv Presentation. Action and Asscociaion

As I anticipated, the girls had a complex and interrelated concept of a

sexual self-image. They conceptualized sexual self-image as presentation,

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action and association. Specifically, the girls defined sexual self-image as how

you dress and talk, how you carry yourself and the "company you keep." As

one girl from Howard University (HU) explains:

[Tjhe way we talk, the way we dress, the way we carry ourselves, the way we are with our families. That to me defines our sexuality, not our openness.

Each one of these characteristics -- presentation, action and association has an

interactive affect. For example, you may be wearing revealing clothing, but it

depends on how you are presenting yourself in those clothing. As the girls

from Bowie discuss:

Sometime I wear clothes that my family thinks expose too much of me. But I think it's fine. .. [JJust because I'm wearing like short-shorts doesn't mean that I go out and do things. So [the shorts] could be misleading.

It's how you act in those clothes.

But if you come to school and you have on like . .. really tight pants, so tight that you can see your underwear line. .. [T]hat's when you can be labeled as a freak or a hoochie mama.

These girls clearly articulate that certain types of clothing may imply a

"freaky" or "hoochie mama" sexual self-image, but if you "act" a certain way

and make sure your clothes are not too revealing, you cannot be labeled as a

"freak" or "hoochie mama" At the same time, if the girls do not wear

"feminine" clothes, they are accused of "hiding" or being a "tom boy." As

girls from American University (AU) and Bowie articulate:

Yeah, if your clothes are baggy, its like you're hiding yourself ... people say something like why don't you wear something . . . you have a nice body. Why don't you show it off a little bit more.

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[Girls that] play on the basketball team, you don't necessarily see them in what they would say as feminine clothes. But they are just girls like anybody else, but just because you don't see them in those type clothes they get labeled as a tom boy.

Action, another part of the girls definition of sexual self-image is

probably the most dynamic. Action — how you carry yourself and how you

present yourself to others, as outlined above — dictates and determines how

you will be labeled by others. As far as sexual self-image, the girls

conceptualize action as "your interaction with the opposite sex," or "like

hanging around boys." However, one girl from HU did point out:

I want to say also, not directly talking about me, but interaction doesn't have to do with the opposite sex.

This girl clearly explains that not all actions that define sexual self-image are

based on heterosexual interactions. The girls' concept of action centers

around conversation and activity. Specifically, the girls explained that their

conversations (not just what they say, but their sexual overtones) and the

girls' activities with boys together help define a sexual self-image. As girls

from Bowie, AU and HU articulate:

[I]fs one thing to say he looks nice, whatever, he's pretty good looking, but if s another thing like umm look at his butt or whatever. I want to touch i t . .. that just shows [how] bold you are.

My friend ... I will tell her, I'm friendly and you're friendly, but your friendly goes beyond— [S]he'll come across as though she's interested in some type of other interaction with the person.

You go out with like two men that same night... [T]he first week .. .they sleep together. You may not even know the person.

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While all three groups initially described this type of conversation and

activity as "flirtatious/'' which they viewed as acceptable, they were quick to

point out that it can go too far.

Their concept of a sexual self-image also explains that it is not just

how the girls perceive and present themselves, but how that perception is

viewed by others. However, when it comes to association or "reputation,"

how the girls act and interpret themselves are more important than the

perceptions of others. The girls describe this as having a "strong personality."

As girls from AU discuss:

Even if you hang around girls who are fast they automatically think you're fast.

If your personality is real strong I don't think it matters. Cause I hang around with somebody who is fast.

The girls also explained that the perceptions and actions of others, even close

others, can make your personal convictions and sexual self-image "stronger."

As girls from HU explain:

I'm the only different one as far as not having sex early or whatever. They've all done that early and I still haven't done that yet. And they're still my friends and that's the company that I keep. But they don't influence me. They try.

[E]ven if your friends are so different from you, it makes you more solid in your decisions. Like my best friend from home is pregnant right now. ... And her decision to have that child just confirms my decision not to have a child.

According to the middle-class black girls in this study, the

presentation of self (i.e. wearing short-shorts), personal decisions (i.e.

regardless of their friends' decisions, choosing not to have sex or children)

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and, social interactions (i.e. hanging around someone who is "fast") mesh to

develop a sexual self-image. This definition and interpretation correspond

with and complement scholars' definition of the self-concept (see pg. 44).

This dialogue also articulates how middle-class girls' sexual self-

image explains and expresses the culture of adolescent femininity (see pg. 41).

For example, middle-class black girls conceptualize sexual self-image as the

negotiation of wearing the appropriate clothes—not too tight, but not too

baggy; being flirtatious, but not too much; and, regardless of others' actions

and expectations, being able to maintain and express a sense of self. These

girls' experiences and interpretations are boxed between being good girls who

choose to wear "short-shorts" and not have sex, to girls who will "have sex

with guys they do not know."

In order to delve further into the meaning and discovery of

middle-class black girls' sexual self-image, it is important to explore how the

girls discuss the various aspects of sexual self-image in both the dominant

sexual script and the personal narrative. Their responses center around

concepts of beauty, including hair, clothes and body images.

Interpreting The Middle Class Black Girls' Sexual Self-Image

Throughout the girls' discussion of their sexual self-image, they

reveal, explain and discuss the multiple levels that they negotiate. They

ground their reality in history, community, family and self. Their

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negotiation and relationship with the stereotypical black girl's image

highlight the multiplicative nature of being black, middle-class and female.

As they explained, the interactive nature of presentation, action and

association commingle and gel to develop a sexual self-image. In general,

these girls have healthy, positive sexual self-images that reflect and articulate

their social and historical context.

Presentation

The way these girls present themselves is mostly realized through

their hair, clothes and body image. All three have significant meaning

within black female culture and particular meaning for black adolescent girls.

For example, Aliona Gibson (1995) begins her autobiography, Nappy: Growing

Up Black and Female in America, with a self-assessment of her self-image

which includes a detailed discussion of her hair and body image. She also

discusses style and dressing and how they reflected her middle-class lifestyle.

H m l

Historically, hair has been used to ostracize and categorize people of

color, for example, the Chinese queue, the Indian mohawk, the Hasidic

Jewish curls and the varied textures of black hair. Within the black

community, black hair has been politicized, analyzed, debated, scrutinized

and liberated (Babino 1995, Bonner 1990,1996 and 1997, Douglas 1997, Jones

1994, Rooks 1996, Walker 1988). That is, hair is a part of our history and

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identity and cannot be separated from our sexual self-image. Historically,

black hair has been a social marker for defining ugliness and at the same time

upward mobility (Rooks 1996). Before black women could "treat" their hair, it

was referred to as kinky, snarly, ugly and curly. In other words, natural black

hair needed to be fixed, repaired or cured to be socially acceptable. However

controversial, the development, production, marketing and sales of these

treatments created a cadre of black women entrepreneurial hairdressers and

business women (1996). This cadre of hairdressers help signify and create

beauty within the black community.

Now "treatments" for black hair are mass-produced, mass-

marketed and still relevant as markers of beauty. Black girls continue to

debate and struggle with notions of "good hair" and "bad hair." Good hair is

considered hair that is straight like white hair, while, bad hair is considered

natural, untreated black hair. For example, processed hair, weaves, extension,

tracks and braids, can all simulate the appearance of good hair. However,

they can also lead to permanent hair loss. In addition, braids and dreadlocks,

which were originally seen as cultural symbols, awareness and commitment,

have now been transformed by young black girls to simply reflect long,

flowing hair. As Marcia Ann Gillespie (1998, p. 185) explains:

Despite all the talk about the ways in which the American beauty standard automatically negates all who are not European, we get sucked in even when we think we're standing pure. We afrocentrize by wearing dreadlocks, twists, comrows, but still there's the desire to have shake-your-head hair that moves and flips and flies So we end up buying hair by the pound in order to achieve the desired effect while being ethnically correct.

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Hair expresses and is experienced on multiple levels. On one level it is

supposed to express black beauty and culture, but, at the same time it negates

that same cultural beauty. For middie-class black girls there is a constant

negotiation between what they want and what is perceived as acceptable by

peers and parents.

Hair is integral to many black families and their upward mobility.

Many women have used the art of "treatment" and black consumer desire for

beautiful hair to afford their families middle-class life styles. These women

developed products, opened salons and used their basements and kitchens to

earn a wage and create beautiful black coifs (Billingsley 1992, p. 335, Rooks

1996). This means of upward mobility makes hair an essential and

inseparable part of the black middle-class culture and economy.

This is not to forget or under-estimate the privilege of girls who

had good hair. These girls were generally light-skinned and that alone could

have afforded middle-class status. However, the discovery and use of various

beauty products and "treatments" allowed darker-skinned girls with kinky,

snarly hair to simulate good hair. Now girls regardless of their hue and hair

texture, can have access to volume, length and a variety of textures.

-Body Image

At this stage of the life course, body image is critically important,

particularly for black girls. According to researchers, girls have more internal

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and social pressure to maintain a desirable body shape (Cash and Pruzinsky

1990; Levison, Powell and Steelman 1986; Rauste-von Wright 1989). Girls are

constantly bombarded by media and social images and expectations they

cannot meet. This is extremely difficult because physical appearance and

desirability is influenced by public opinion and demand. However, black girls

(and people in general) tend to believe they uniquely present themselves. For

black girls', body satisfaction comes from their experiences with significant

others, cultural awareness and social location (Harris 1994 and 1995;

Levinson, Powell and Steelman; Thomas 1988).

Specifically, family and friends, particularly men have an

overwhelming affect on black women and their body satisfaction (Thomas

1988, p. 111). In fact, Harris (1995) suggests that black fathers' educational

attainment can sway and influence daughters' body attitudes. She argues:

"African-American fathers ... influence female gender-role behaviors more

than do mothers and gender role-orientation has been shown to relate to

body attitudes" (1995, p. 141). Thus, fathers with more education will have

more exposure, therefore, will be more realistic about body images. In turn,

he will be able to empathize with his daughter.

Also, it is critical for black girls to internalize and view their

culture as positive and acceptable in order to affirm their particular body

shapes. Gibson (1995), Harris (1995) and Thomas (1988) explain that black girls

must reject the American standard of beauty, in order to appreciate, center

and acknowledge their body types as desirable. In addition, black girls'

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immediate social networks can also influence their experiences and

interpretations of what is attractive. For example, girls may have one feeling

about their body in an all black and/or female setting; but have a different

encounter in a majority white and/or male situation (see pg. 118).

Harris (1994 and 1995) describes this body satisfaction intersection

(significant others, cultural awareness and social location) as the

"multidimensional or multifaceted perspective" (1995, p. 131). This

perspective reveals that black girls have a more positive attitude about their

bodies than their white peers, and associate a positive body image with health

and fitness. Regardless of race and class, girls are socialized to concentrate on

their social image and body size: Is their body the right size? Is it the right size

in the right places? How can they make their bodies desirable? These

questions and the answers are particularly critical for adolescent girls.

According to Cash et al. (1988), body image " ... is not a fixed, immutable

attribute, but rather is altered by individuals to manage and control their self-

and social images" (p. 349).

For middle-class black girls this multidimensional-management

produces a positive and desirable body type. The girls in this study generally

report having a positive attitude about their physical appearance and physical

aesthetics. However, like most adolescent girls they were not totally satisfied

with their body images, and wish they could change something. This change

centered around being too thin or too big. These girls attempt to negotiate a

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balance between the general body standard and their communal and personal

standards.

Clothes

As enslaved and freed seamstress, black women and girls have

always been involved with the ideas and concepts of fashion. Their sense of

style and design has been worn by First Ladies and copied on the high-fashion

runways (White 1998). Constance C.R. White, author of Style Noir. explains

that with unpredictable and limited resources, the black community created

and designed Sunday dresses, prom dresses, christening gowns and more.

Jones (1994) contextualizes this discussion and argues "for black women

without access to the room of one's ow n... our bodies and our style became

the canvas of our cultural yearning." White (1998) adds, "Whether it adorns

the ghetto fabulous queen, the black American princess, or the pious church

mother, African American style has at its core a love display" (p. 2).

While Gibson (1995) herself claims not to be "trendy" or "fashionable,"

she writes about its importance as an adolescent. She recalls her freshman

year in college, her friend from HU describing how people got dressed up for

class and changed for dinner (1995, p. 50). HU student Anastacia (20) confirms

her claim: " You know Howard is like this big fashion show." This was also

repeated by an AU student: "My friend goes to an HBCU (Historically Black

College and University) and like she has to dress everyday... And like finals,

maybe finals you can have on sweat pants." Gibson's reminiscing and the HU

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and AU girls in my study not only discuss but experience the pressure and

importance of dressing.

For middle-class black girls, this sense of style is supported by their

mothers', as Gibson (1995) describes, "My mother has always liked nice

clothes. She always shopped at Macy's Emporium and I. Magnin for clothes

for my brother and me." Gibson's report supports Frazier's (1962) and

Landry's (1987) criticism of middle-class blacks and their conspicuous

consumption. While this may be true, these criticisms do not reflect or

articulate the importance of style and dress in expressing black culture. These

expressions include, for example, the black leather jacket and black beret, the

dashiki and, more recently, hip hop fashion that has world wide appeal. In

fact, designers and marketers look to black culture, particularly black youth, as

the gauge and social marker for style and fashion (White 1998).

On the more personal level, Jones (1994) defines the black

community's unique sense of style as profiling. According to Jones, profiling

is "to know you look good or think you look good; to dress or behave in a way

that attracts attention" (p. 163). While this idea of attention is explored by the

girls in this study, the emphasis is on looking good or thinking you look

good. Its important to understand that all the girls in this study know about

profiling. Like other adolescents, their presentation of self not only reflects

them, but their political, social and cultural identity as well.

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Action and Association

The girls in this study were quick to articulate the importance and

expectation of proper behavior and knowing how to act in various situations

and settings. Their ability to navigate within and outside the black

community is best explained by Leanita McClain's description of a "foot in

each world."1 This idea not only reflects the necessity of middle-class black

girls to operate outside their community and succeed, but also the

essentialnality of maintaining a strong hold on their own community (Bell

1990, McClaurin-Allen 1990, Grant and Breese 1997).

While Grant and Breese (1997) offer varying degrees of this

negotiation, I argue that the girls in this study are both balanced and

paradoxical. They are balanced because they are aware of and can comfortably

navigate inside and outside the black community. Equally important, they

have a "conscious awareness that the same norms, rules, and behaviors do

not apply in each culture" (Grant and Breese 1997, p. 199). At the same time,

they are paradoxical and "do not want to be alienated from their own culture,

yet they desire the rewards that can be obtained by participating in the

dominant culture" (p. 201). This combination of balance and paradox

describes how and why middle-class black girls have a "foot in each world."

Kim (19), articulates this reality well,

I like live in two worlds. I was brought up with a white education. I knew right from wrong and I can do wrong in my neighborhood.... but

1 See Irma McClaurin-Allen (1990) Incongruities: Dissonance and contradiction in the Life of a Black Middle-Class Woman, in Uncertain Terms: Negotiation Gender in American Culture, pg. 315-331.

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do right in the school surroundings . .. My neighborhood environment couldn't survive or probably couldn't cope or deal with the restrictions, limitations and rules [of my school environment]. That's why a lot of them dropped out of school and had babies.

Clearly, Kim realizes that in order to do well in her white school

environment she had to follow the rules — and she did. However, when in

her black environment, she did wrong, which was allowed because there

were no rules or limitations.

This "foot in each world" existence forces middle-class girls to

always be aware of and accountable for their behavior. This behavioral

control is not limited to how girls carry themselves, but also includes their

presentation, actions and associations. As Benjamin (1991), Frazier (1962),

Landry (1987) and Rooks (1996) explain, proper behavior and actions are a

prerequisite for black middle-class status. As you will hear in the girls'

narratives, those who operate outside of that prerequisite may be labeled and

ostracized. However, middle-class black girls negotiate these acts and

behaviors so they are balanced and paradoxical. In other words, they are

acceptable within and outside the black community, but they want their

actions and behaviors to be reflective of and connected to the black

community.

Association is directly related to this concept of keeping in time

with and aware of the black community. For middle-class black girls, this

lesson comes from their parents, the community, church and friends. Being

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associated and affiliated with these institutions helps girls develop, monitor

and experience their sexual self-image in a healthy way.

Dominant Script: Group Defining The Ghetto Girl

All of the dominant script descriptions and discussions are based

on the girls and, at times, the girls' perception of the larger community's

definitions of stereotypical black girls. What is so revealing is the potency of

the girls' descriptions. For example, they used words like "wild," "hard-core

sex," "bitch," "reproductive," "easily manipulated," "promiscuous,"

"defensive," "violent" and "militant." However, the word most often used

and most universally understood seemed to be the word "ghetto."

Ghetto is the one word that captured the complex sexual self-image

of the stereotypical black girl. The term ghetto is very prevalent in pop

culture. Examples include, the hip hop group the Ghetto Boys; comedian

Chris Tucker who says "living ghetto fabulously;" the hip hop group,

Naughty by Natures which says, "If you're not from the ghetto, don't come to

the ghetto," and Sckraight from the Ghetto, written by sociologist Dr. Bertice

Berry and otolaryngologist Dr. Joan Coker (1996).

According to self-proclaimed ghettologists Berry and Coker, all

African Americans are not ghetto, but they know someone who is. Ghetto is

a "black thing," they note, but, it transcends race and geographical location.

Not all poor people are ghetto and, you can reform and refrain from being

ghetto (1996, p. xiii).

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The term ghetto has its positive context, particularly within the

black community. It is also a measure of appropriate behavior, language,

diction and attitude that is used to evaluate and monitor one's behavior.

When I asked the girls to explain/ define the term ghetto, their responses

were consistent and unified:

That's when you don't act the way you're suppose to act. Like you don't speak properly.. . You don't carry yourself in the right way. (Deshawn 15)

Loud, real boisterous and raunchy. (Makie 16)

I think it's kind of uneducated. [M]aybe not literally, but act uneducated. People say you don't have any home training. (Snoopy 17)

. .. someone who has just no couth or anything, to me that's a ghetto person. (Rachael 19)

While the connotation and use of the term "ghetto" comes from

the black community, the girls are quick to explain that "ghetto" is not black

or a geographical location. Anybody can be ghetto. But they do understand,

since the term has transcended the black community, how it is now being

misused and abused by their white peers. The girls from Bowie describe how

their white peers use the term:

She's like let's do it the black way or l e t s do it the ghetto way. I'm like it's one thing for you to say Black, but you can't [say] that if you're white.

You know black girls, she trying to act ghetto. And I was like hold up, how does she try and act black? Just because she speaks a certain way she has to be black? I don't speak the way that she does, does that mean I'm not black?

The HU girls help further this dialogue and discuss the ambivalence about

the term and its connotations:

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[W]e come from middle-class backgroimds and i t s so important to gain ghetto notoriety... [E] very body says they're from New York or from Brooklyn. Or, when you're from California everyone is from Compton or Oakland. [These] are stereotypical places where i t s ghetto.

The irony is that many of these students live in suburbs, far away from these

"ghetto" cities, where I am sure their families work hard to shelter them from

the struggles of "ghetto" life. But, these children reject that privilege and

have a need to identify with a "ghetto" experience that is not their own:

[I]n this generation it seems to me a lot of people like to associate themselves as having a struggle or as having to come up harder than everybody else.

What is so much better about saying that I had to struggle all my life? What about that makes you a better person than me?

[I] t becomes a fact like you're disassociating yourself with the Black community or the Black society. [T]herefore, in order to be Black we have to have those stigmas. Either the ghetto, the bitch, the attitude or promiscuity... [T]o connect with being Black, we say I had this struggle.

The term "ghetto" is multifaceted. In one context it is a

measuring stick for appropriate behavior; in another, it is white adolescents'

interpretation and description of black; and, at yet another level, it is the black

community's assessment of your familiarity and commitment to the black

community. Goldie (15) attempts to understand this complexity and

articulates like this:

Blacks they say [ghetto] to each other... the same thing like using the N word. . . That's a major issue too. How we use it with each other, but then how that was such a hard word years ago in slavery.

Goldie's attempt to understand why derogatory terms like the "N-word" and

ghetto are used within the black community is best explained by a HU girl:

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I think it goes to show you that after awhile what they put out there, what they keep throwing at you, is what you end up becoming. You have to go above that or fight those stereotypes.

In other words, we have to take negative definitions and stereotypes and

claim them ourselves, make them positive and more reflective. That way,

when negative stereotypes are used by others, we reject their meaning and

apply our own connotations and expressions. Throughout the dissertation,

you will hear the girls interpretation, expression and use of the term "ghetto."

It is used to describe, explain and access a wide variety of concepts including

perceptions of beauty, attitude and their personality.

The Dominant Script: Describing The Ghetto Girl's Sexual Self-Image

When they were asked to describe a stereotypical girl, their answers

focused on personal attributes and appearance. The personal descriptors

included "materialistic," "no romance," "Ebonics," "loud," "obnoxious,"

"stuck-up," "defensive," "fighting"; however, the girls did use positive,

strong descriptors like "smart," "independent," "confident" and "powerful in

her own way." More telling is that although these descriptors are not simple

stereotypes, they see these types of girls everyday. In fact, December (18)

explains that each quadrant has a different type of stereotypical girl: "[lit's like

each section has there own different stereotype. Like girls [in] northwest...

they consider that more stuck-up. Northeast that's more free like, more about

themselves. Southeast [that's] ghetto." When I asked her about southwest.

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she explained she didn't hear much about southwest, but "it would probably

be the same brand as southeast."

December's theory is supported by Chandler's (16) observation that

northeast girls are .. the most down to earth girls" and northwest "be,

chillin' too." According to Chandler:

The only girls they talk about bad, in southeast. Southeast... a lot of people say is just like the ghetto. That's where everything bad happens.

Jordan (19) takes this stereotypical image one step further. She says there are

basically two types of stereotypical girls: the fly girls and the rough-neck girls.

Basically, fly girls "... try to come off as like they're ladies ... that's [where] the

clothes and shoes and all that stuff comes in. But then again, they can act

really loud and ignorant sometimes." The rough girls, " ... these girls are laid

back and quiet. Usually they get along well with males."

The girls understood and articulated that socioeconomic status, and its

outcomes contribute and help explain this "ghetto girl" persona:

I think it's all like a thing to try and be classy. So they're thinking maybe if they buy designer sorts of clothes that they can put on an image of classy." (Lisa 18)

[I]n an inner city you have to face so many different things. Most women I know are very strong and independent because they feel that they have to be. But definitely most women I know have walls. Walls that protect them from ... a relationship, family issues... so they are very protective of their feelings and they don't like to be toyed with. (Scratchy 19)

I mean that's a rough way to grow up. [I]n an environment like that, a lot of fighting and stuff. Maybe they feel like that's what they have to be to make sure nobody messes with them .. .. cause they're really actually scared. (Jordan 19)

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Last, but also extremely important, they described the girls'

appearance, in particular their clothes and hair. The presentation of self is

espesdally important to these girls. It is not just how they present

themselves, but what that presentation can mean. At the adolescent stage of

the life cycle, one's clothes, hair and body type can determine and dictate if it

will be a good day or a bad day. It says who you are and who your parents

allow you to be. It marks your socioeconomic status and distinguishes you

from others. For middle-class black girls, this presentation of self is

intimately tied to their hair. As Mimi (20) explains, "I mean like hair is really

important. Your outfit could be like tore down and your hair looks good,

then you look good." In other words, your outfit could be awful, but if your

hair looks good, that makes up for everything.

The Ghetto Girls' Coif

Hair is experienced and expressed on multiple levels. At the

political level, it could determine your allegiance to the black community. On

the social level, it portrays an image that can be associated with a variety of

things. On the economical level it is a great personal expense.

Simultaneously it creates j'obs within the black community. On the personal

level, it can provide a sense of j'oy and pain. For adolescent black girls these

issues are intensified by the age appropriate pressures of appearance and

acceptability.

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When the girls were asked to define the stereotypical girls' hair, the

vast majority of the discussion revolved around braids; weaves, which are,

additional hair glued or sewn into the girls' hair; tracks, which are hair pieces

that are strategically placed, generally in the back to provide length and / or

volume; and, chemically treated hair, including color. As Zaisha (18)

articulates:

She has a lot of gel. A lot chemicals going on in her hair because she wants to look beautiful.. .They have a lot of different colors in their hair... It's very costly.

Jordan (19) says that fly girls always have their hair done. She teases that her

friends describe the fly girls as " ... track stars cause they always have a lot of

tracks." According to Jordan, the rough-neck girls wear comrows going

straight back or a hat, like the boys.

The girls also explained its not just the style, its the quality and

appearance of that hair style. As Rachael (19) explains:

[Tjheir track would be showing, and that's ghetto... Or their natural hair would be one color and their tracks would be another color... [Tjhey would put in blond tracks and not even die their hair to match the track.

Or, "A nasty weave that's about to fall out and hasn't been sewn in properly"

Jaelin (20). Jaelin and Rachael vigorously describe what several of the girls

articulated, it is not so much the styles, but the quality of the style. Also

revealing is Rachael's description of the ghetto girl's hair. When Rachael

refers to "their natural hair," what she is really describing is hair that has

been chemically treated to match the texture of the weaved hair. Weaves and

tracks are worn so often that ironically people often refer to chemically treated

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hair as their natural or real hair. Only a few girls discussed the issue of

natural hair, but their comments were equally telling:

The natural thing [is okay], but you have like naturally curly or soft hair. I think if you decide to wear your natural hair, your hair should look cute. But if it doesn't then don't (Snoopy 17).

[I]f you have straight hair you're probably going to be more successful, and you care more for yourself because you took the time to go and process your hair or whatever. (Juanita 18).

I've never seen a ghetto girl with natural hair. (Makie 16).

These girls vividly articulate the internal perceptions of black people and

their natural hair. Basically, Snoopy says if your hair is not soft or curly, it

probably will not be cute, so you should "treat" it. According to Juanita, who

has dreadlocks, if your hair is processed, you are perceived as more successful.

Conversely, if your hair is natural, you could be perceived as less successful.

Extremely, poignant is Makie's confession that she's never seen a stereotypical

girl with natural hair. While hair is central to the girls' presentation of self,

so are clothes — and the perceptions of what those clothes mean.

The Ghetto Girls' Attire

When they discussed the stereotypical girls' clothes, they used

descriptors like "revealing clothes," "tight jeans," "fitted clothes," and

"colorful." Not only did they discuss how the clothes were worn, but the

importance of designers and brand names. According to Black Rose (15) and

Mimi (20), black girls from Washington, DC, are perceived as very

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materialistic and always profiling. Black Rose, who has lived in DC all her

life, but has traveled says:

They are very materialistic, when it comes to children my age to about 18 in Washington, DC, girls really showcase their outfits around one another. I can say that through my own experience. People always try to out-dress people.

Mimi explains that:

I get grief being from here. Like people who aren't from here, they notice a difference in DC women. And I notice it also cause I went to high school in Massachusetts. [W]hen I came back, I sort of saw the DC image, the DC women or young women, they're like very materialistic.

While Black Rose confesses she can be materialistic too, she believes that once

girls turn 18, they mature and stop being as concerned with possessions. But,

Mimi who is 20 is still articulating its importance and scope.

When I inquired about which designers the girls wear, "Versace;" "Dolce

Gabanna," "DKNY;" "Mossimo," and "bebe" were all mentioned. But,

Jordan (19) and Destiny (20) specifically described the "fly girl" or "classy

ghetto girl" as wearing these designers. It is important to note that these

designers are extremely expensive. For example, a simple T-shirt can cost $60.

Other designers mentioned were MADDNESS, DDTP (Designer Discount

Trading Post), which are both black-owned stores that specialize in casual

sports apparel. According to DeShawn (15) and Jordan (19), the rough-neck

girls shop at these stores because they dress more like boys, with their baggy

clothes and baggy jeans. Chandler (16) describes the rough-neck attire:

I wouldn't say so much like the skirt type.. . I would say like some jeans; maybe some cute tennis shoes; and like a T-shirt... Just something simple.

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While these designers are not as expensive as the ones mentioned above,

they too charge exorbitant prices. Finally, Kamala (17), Elizabeth (18), Kim

(19), Destiny (20) and Jaelin (20) specifically mentioned stores like K-Mart, The

$10 Store and discount malls, for those who cannot afford or do not have the

resources or the nerve to acquire designer clothes. As Jaelin explains:

[I]n the inner city they have the fake clothes stores that are much cheaper so they are able to buy [designer clothes] from like the street... [Ijf they are going into the department stores its either because they're on public assistance and they beat the system or they have a boyfriend that has a lot of money.

The girls also mentioned Up Against the Wall, Hecht's, Express,

Old Navy, and The Limited as stores to which any teenage girl goes. The

malls mentioned were Tyson's Comer, P.G. Plaza, Montgomery Mall and

Pentagon City. Jordan (19) says her girlfriends call Pentagon City "Baby

Mother Central" because so many single mothers, or ghetto girls, shop there.

For "tight" or "fitted clothes," the girls specifically mentioned stores like

RAVE or Merry Go-Round. To really appreciate and understand the meaning

and emphasis of "tight," "revealing" clothing, it7s important to understand

how these clothes are perceived on the stereotypical black girl's body.

The Ghetto Girls' Physique

Mimi (20) argues that, "[Y]oung black women have booming

bodies... big breast, big butt, big legs, big everything." The other girls

described a "booming body" as "big-boned, "thick" and "phat," which is one of

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those words that are used within the black community to counter outsiders'

perceptions of our body types. As Elizabeth (18) explains:

... in the inner city or whatever, like that's what is attractive.. .that's where it will be a good thing. But out[side] of that, people will probably say like oh she's fat or she needs to work out.

While comedian Chris Tucker defines phat as "Pretty Hot And Teasing,"

Rachael (19) offers a more bio-cultural explanation:

We just have a different build than a lot of people... Black women tend to be fuller as far as their behind... Black people, they tend to be more curvy and more. .. their figures are just more proportionate to me.

Or, as Kim (19) bluntly states, "White girls don't have a butt and hips. Black

girls do. Rose (17) says:

Black people should act more attractive. I would prefer the stereotypical [to the] tall, skinny white girl shape. [The stereotypical shape] shows that she has something to eat. Like some girth or something.

While the vast majority of the responses described stereotypical

girls as being big, including "big feet," some girls did argue that black girls

come in all sizes. For example, Jordan (19) said if the "fly girl" has "a little bit

of boobs, [she's] considered overweight." And the rough-neck girls vary:

"[t]hey go from petite to all the way up to overweight." Sadly enough, Jordan

does admit that "... it seems like the smaller girls are usually the ones with a

boyfriend."

Since the girls understood that regardless of shape and size, they

were stereotyped, their discussion centered around the meaning and

complexity of having a "booming body." For example, Outgoing (16) said:

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... most boys, they will try and like talk to those girls since they are more developed and stuff like that... try to mess with them, things like that.

And, Zaloniah's (18) perception:

... some girls look at it as if they got a body, a guy is going to talk to them, not for their mind but, for their body. And that's gon' make them feel special.

Not only did the girls discuss the advantages and disadvantages of having a

"booming body," they also discussed how stereotypical girls' physiques look in

tight, revealing clothes.

When it comes to clothing these "booming bodies," many of the

girls said that ghetto girls wear clothes that are too tight, and if they are not

too tight, it's still not appropriate for the occasion. However, Makie (16)

rejects this argument and says it has more to do with society's perception of

black and white women and what is appropriate and acceptable. As Makie

explains:

[W]hen I see white women walking down the street with pants even tighter.. . its cute cause they're white. But when a Blackgirls does it, its like... Oh my gosh she is too big to wear those pants.

Nikky (19) agrees and says that black girls look nice enough to wear ". . . half

shirts and short-shorts and tight jeans and stuff." But Scratchy (19),

argues that in Washington, DC, body size is not the issue — it is fads and

fashions that matter most:

You can be thin or you can be thick and you still wearing the same thing. You can be 400 pounds with a pair of stretch Parasugol jeans on. . . Or you could be a buck o five anorexic as hell; legs like toothpicks and you still got some Parasugol jeans on. Cause in DC, what is in, is in; it doesn't matter how you look.

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With all these different interpretations and messages, I asked the girls to

describe what a stereotypical girl or ghetto girl looked like. Cerrissa's (17)

description incorporates all of these sexual self-image themes:

[S]he would probably have on some real tight jeans and her shirt would be tight; and wearing nice shoes. She'd have her hair done, her nails done, and she would prance down the street like she was Miss All That.

Jasmyne (17), who is heavy (so is Cerrissa), was quick to note that the black

girls come in all types of styles and shapes,

A ghetto girl can be a wide range... an overweight girl that wears tight stuff; that has her hair dyed orange, and gets her nails done every two weeks six different colors. It could be some skinny bird-like looking girl; tall; jet black hair; three gold teeth... It could be anything.

However, some girls got very specific and gave the "ghetto girl" a skin color,

body type, and neighborhood:

A person who is browm-skinned, kind of like, tracks is like hanging off or need to be replaced; got the real, real tight clothes on; and is carrying herself like no one is better than me; no one can touch me; I look good. (Destiny 16)

[Sjhe's dark skinned, short thick hair, thick lips. (Kamala 17)

They're kind of big and dark-skinned, You find a lot of them in southeast. . . northeast is more brown skinned and I'd say northwest you have more light skinned. They're skinner in northwest too. (December 18)

December's discussion of skin color is directly correlated to and describes

Washington, DC's, history and its historical and geographical boundaries of

skin color-privilege.2 Anastacia (20), who grew up in Jamaica, helps explain

2 See Marita Golden’s book Lone Distance Life (19891.

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that regardless of geographical location, black people still construct, experience

and suffer from internal racism and, at times, dassism too:

[G]uys from what you call the "upper class" will see you and they'll just say high. You could have big hips and big busts, it's not really going to turn their attention if your skin complexion isn't light and you don't have hair half-way down your back.

Black Rose (15), who is extremely light-skinned, describes skin preference as

nonsense, but is dear about its historical consequence and present day contex:

We're prejudice toward each other... I hate to say it but we're still a lot of time stuck on the light-skinned... I'm around people my age a lot, so a lot of people will be like "I want a pretty boy." And that is basically somebody who looks closer to white than a black person. I just think that it's really nonsense to think that. I mean all Black people are beautiful regardless of whether you're dark-skinned or light-skinned. I think a lot of that comes from the bias in the past that hasn't been corrected... [A] couple of my friends are always just like "I'm going to marry somebody Spanish so my child can have fine hair and light skin" These are the things that I hear that I think are like nonsense.

Clearly, a stereotypical black girl can be described and visualized in a variety of

forms. Regardless of that description, understanding how she carries herself

and her personality is essential to understanding the sexual self-images of

these stereotypical black girls. As articulated on page 97, the girls clearly

understood that environment, class and exposure all tend to inform and

develop your behavior.

The Ghetto Girls' Personality

When I asked the girls to tell me how the "ghetto girl" carries

herself, or what type of personality she had, they all used descriptors like

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"mean/' "nonchalant," "arrogant," "vulgar," "low self-esteem," "hot

tempered," "defensive," and "loud."

She will immediately be on the defense... They've probably been taught in their neighborhood that, keep your guard up at all times. [If a] girl look at you funny, you look at her funny. (Kim 19)

[T]hey tend to be very quick to the tongue. They will cuss you out in a second. And they like to fight too. (Anastada 20)

Southeast girls have an attitude. .. She will let you know she ain't playing. [S]he don't want to come off looking like she no punk or nothing. She want everybody to know that she can fight. And she can handle her own. (Chandler 16)

[T]he only thing that really bothers me about her, the attack before you get attacked nature that she has. (Tree 17)

She likes to be heard and recognized. .. She doesn't care about peoples feelings. She likes to make people feel as though they are beneath them. She likes to intimidate people. Makes you afraid of them. (Zaisha 18)

In reference to being "loud," the girls explained that it's not just

about volume and voice, but about getting attention. And this attention is

generally centered around boys:

[T]hey flaunt themselves or try to flirt more. Being in guys faces all the time. All girls do that, draw attention to themselves. .. but its their dothes and they're louder. (Tanita 18)

She might stand a certain way. Or might pull her jacket up so they can see her butt or something like that. She might do something like that to act obnoxious to just draw attention to herself (Kim 19).

You will be on one end of the train and they will be at the other end of the train and you can hear everything they're talking about... Its mostly about males or a relationship that they got in. Or, they are beefing with some other girls or fights and stuff. (Chandler 16).

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According to Jasmyne (17), these fights can start because "You're looking at

their man."

They also used descriptors like "confident, " "laid back," "funny,"

"independent" and "knows how to take care of herself."

She's funny. . . Sometime she can be really silly... she can be really concerned about your feelings (Scratchy 19).

They seem to have this flare and they seem to be a lot more outgoing. And they possess this confidence. I don't know where they get if from .. . Cause they could have on Daisy Dukes or Batty Riders, one of those midriff blouses and their stomachs could be so big .. . and they will think are so cute" (Anastada 20).

[T]hey walk proud... Its like they don’t care what anybody is saying. It's kind of a don't care attitude, but the only thing that makes it negative they kind of take it to the extreme... . you start to become ignorant and arrogant with it. And think it7s attractive and it's really not (Rachael 19).

Rachael dearly articulates the complexity of these girls' personalities. Robin

(19), Cerrissa (17) and Keisha (17) describe these complexities further:

I don't think she's very confident with herself because she always has to have on nice dothes; and she always has to have her hair done; and she always have to have her nails done. And that7s how she defines herself by having on some type of name brand dothes or something .

Her personality is probably good because she has an open mind but she is afraid to express herself... She feels like if she doesn't express herself the way that the stereotype portrays that she's supposed to, then she'll probably feel like she's left out or people won't like her.

They are usually really outgoing and they laugh easily. And they usually are smart. A lot of girls are really smart. Some girls don't act like they're smart. .. [S]o no one knows that they are smart. But usually if you sit down with them and talk or even watch them, you realize that she's really, really smart

Even with all this complexity, December (18) says, "On an average

all girls northeast, southeast, northwest, they all have the same

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characteristics... they just carry it in different ways." December says that the

girls in southeast are stereotyped as "loud/' "dirty" and "want to fight;"

northwest girls are "stuck-up" and "Miss All That," and northeast girls are

"mature." Solange (20), describes universal black girl characteristics as "rolling

your eyes... snapping your neck or smacking your teeth."

In vivid detail and ease, these girls described, defined and

articulated the multiple layers of a ghetto girl's sexual self-image. It all centers

around her presentation, how she presents her hair, clothes and body.

Equally important, they discussed her attitude. While individual aspects of

their sexual self-image can be analyzed and processed, throughout the

interviews the girls continually explained how these things were interrelated.

For example, it is not just the clothes, but how you act in the clothes and how

your body looks in the clothes. Or, it can be how others perceive you when

you are wearing certain clothes. And it is not just about having confidence

and being proud, but how that confidence is portrayed and presented.

The Personal Narrative: Middle-Class Black Girls' Sexual Self-Image

When I first started this project, I thought it was going to be a

comparison type of analysis -- ghetto versus middle-class black girls. Or, it

might have been those uneducated, single-mother girls versus these highly

educated, college-bound middle-class black girls. What I found was that my

analysis needs to be relational. As you read the girl's personal narratives, you

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will hear responses that are very similar to how they described "ghetto girls."

For example, designer clothes are important to these girls; these girls talk

about fighting, how they too can be considered ghetto, and how they can

embrace the description.

I will also highlight and explain the differences in their responses

based on age. When the girls were describing the stereotypical girl, their

answers were very similar, but when they discussed themselves, you can hear

the difference between the older girls (20-18( and the younger girls (17-15). By

specifically examining the girls7 concepts of beauty, how they present

themselves, and how they carry themselves, you can see the similarity,

relationship and complexity of these girls and their middle-class black female

status.

Their Social Context

All of these girls are either college-bound, in college or preparing to

leave college and start a career. The majority of the girls come from or live

in a two-parent household with extended family. For example, twin sisters

Snoopy (17) and Rose (17) live with both their parents, their grandmother and

their older brother. Other living arrangements include college dorms and

extended households. For example, Tree's (17) and Keisha's (17) (also twins)

mother lives in Maryland, and they live in an apartment in Washington, DC,

so they are eligible to complete their senior year in Washington, DC.

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These girls are also involved with a variety of extra curricular-

activities, including work, girl scouts, sports, school politics and

organizations, modeling, sororities and church. Those who attend church on

a consistent basis seem to incorporate it in their daily lives and activities. As

Cheryl (19) explains:

Everything I do is basically based around what I believe as far asmy religion... Just my daily walk, my every day life, everything basically falls back on th a t... [W]ho I meet and who I'm encounter with, everything falls back on th at... My roommates, they're on the same spiritual level as I am.

Some of the girls spent their formative years outside of the

Washington, DC, metropolitan area, including Zaisha (18) from St. John,

Virgin Islands; Mimi (20), sho is constantly moving away and coming back;

and, Stephanie (20), who is from New York and attends HU. They all,

however, have very similar outlooks and experiences as far as being young,

black, female and middle-class. But, location does undoubtedly make a

difference in how you perceive, discuss and experience that reality.

For example, the Bowie and AU groups discussed interracial

dating, while girls at HU concentrated on how being light-skinned or dark -

skinned affects dating. Even personal descriptions of race varied, depending

on what you believe and where you are from. As Tree (17) and Jasmyne (17)

explained when they responded to the question, "how do you describe

yourself, black or African American?":

Black . .. Because I'm not from here, therefore I think I'll be stealing somebody else's heritage in a way because it's not really my own. If I was Afro-American I think I'd be a little bit offended that somebody else

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is claiming something that was me. I'm proud of my African descendency as well as my Anglo descendency as well as my Carib Indian descendency. So I classify myself as Black.

Black. .. I'm from America, not Africa. We don't know enough about our history to try to learn about other history. Because I believe we need to know enough about ourselves before we even.. . you know we need to educate ourselves on our own.

These girls are savvy, aware, mature, goal-oriented and responsible. They

have high expectations for themselves, including attending Ivy League

college, playing college sports, entering a medical career and being able to care

for themselves.

Their Perceptions of Being Good Looking

When I asked the girls if they thought they were good looking, they

all said yes, except Scratchy (19), who said:

I don't think I'm ugly. I do not have a self esteem problem. I just don't think I'm attractive. .. I dress nicer because I think I'm less attractive. I think that clothes can really help a person.

Scratchy explains, that looks are not simply a clear cut yes or no, but

something that must to be put into context. Basically, she expresses her

beauty through her clothes. Scratchy further articulates what she considers

beautiful and at w hat age:

Sally Richardson, Stacey Dash, Jada Pinkett, Hally Barry. At 45 Oprah, Gladys Knight and Patti LaBelle. At 80 Lena Home. At 21 Maya Campbell.

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Scratchy's perception of beauty is not boxed into youthful notions of

acceptance, but reflects a mature understanding of feminine beauty that

expands the life cycle.

The older girls said they were good looking, but were not as forthcoming

as the younger girls. Most of the older girls were more reserved and shy

about expressing the fact they are pleased with their look. In fact, Mimi (20)

contributed her good looks to her parents when she said " ,.. My mother,

she's really pretty and my dad is handsome. So here I am. I look like a

combination I guess of the two of them." Like Scratchy, Jaelin (20) sees beauty

as more than physical features, she says " beauty... my mother is beautiful.

You're not going to put that on me." It is as if Jaelin doesn't deserve the title

of beauty, at least not yet. These girls also see their personalities as

contributing to their beauty and having these perceptions makes them self-

confident, not conceited or "snobbish." As Elizabeth (18) explains:

I'll just give off like this confidence. You know? I think thatmakes you look attractive when you carry yourself like I'm attractive. Not snobbish, but just like I know I look good or whatever and that means other people think you look good.

The older girls also talked about how they had to overcome

childhood taunting and social pressures to feel beautiful. Tanita (18) explains:

When I was younger, a lot people will call you names. You know black this and black that. But I also noticed that black people will call light skin people names too... People would just find things about you and just try to make you feel bad.

For some, this healing process is just beginning, as Zaloniah (18) admits:

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I had very low self-esteem. I used to always ask my aunt, Am I pretty? .. I moved with my aunt like two years ago, that's when it just started building up. Like I started getting confidence in myself.

However, childhood teasing can lead to the development of their own

concepts and understandings of beauty. Rachael (19), who is dark-skinned

and heavy, had to define for herself why she was good looking. Rachael says,

"I like my complexion. That's how the Lord made me, I have to love it."

The younger girls had no problem or hesitation about explaining

why they thought they were attractive. When asked why they were good

looking, the younger girls would immediately point to their personality or

their ability to present themselves in a pleasing way. As Chandler (16) and

Lisa (17) explain:

I have a good personality. And like a lot of people, its some girls that are so pretty, and their attitude is so ugly.. . It don't make no sense for them to be so pretty and acting like that"

I think my attitude deals with a lot of what I attract. A lot of boys tell me that I'm cool for a girl. I'm just like one of the guys. I'm goofy. I know how to talk to them. .. It's all about my attitude.

The younger girls also explained that they do not care what others think.

More important, their perception of beauty had to depend on them. Jasmyne

(17) who is over-weight says, "I can't let anyone tell me different... I'm the

best looking person on the face of this earth, in my eyes. If you see differently

that's on you." I was surprised that these girls did not mention being teased

or taunted. Seeing that, the older girls discussed the torment of being teased

as children, I expected the younger girls to describe incidents of being teased

too, but, they did not reveal or describe any instances where that was an issue.

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One theme that seemed to filter through both the older girls' and

younger girls' personal narrative is the incorporation of God in accepting or

understanding beauty. For example, there was Rachael's (19) comment about

the Lord making her a certain way, and Outgoing's (16) claim that through

God, she does not even see ugliness:

I believe that nobody is ugly. First of all, God don't make ugly, so you know there's no ugliness. .. I'm a child of God and know I am pretty."

While all of the girls mentioned things like their "dimples," "smiles" and

"eyes," as specific physical descriptions of their beauty, hair was the one

element of beauty that was consistently and constantly mentioned.

Their Coif

For these girls, the discussion of hair goes beyond style and texture.

Hair is tied to their concept of self and their interpretation of how others

perceive them:

I think hair motivates you. .. I just like my hair looking nice. . . A lot of it you do for other people.. . Like once I think about it, it's probably because other people will like you better that way." (Black Rose 15)

Some people who don't care about theirselves just let it go. I know I do my hair because I don't want to go outside looking like any old thing just steeped out the house. (Cerrissa 17)

Like with hair, that can make you or break you... Cause I know with certain hairstyles it can break me. Not necessarily break me, but make me maybe less attractive. (December 18)

Like people see my locks they automatically think that one, I smoke marijuana or I'm a Rastafarian, or I'm you know ~ something that is generally some negative connotation. (Juanita 18)

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[Girls] are jealous because I've got Indian in my family. So I've got this hair that does not need a relaxer.... as well as it grows very well. So it gets long. (Jaelin 20)

The girls also discussed the issue of maintenance, versatility and style, which

does resemble their descriptions of the ghetto girls' hair:

[EJverybody is getting their hair in braids right now. Or they get tracks in, cause I just had some tracks. And I took mine out and got some braids. (Chandler 16)

Like my hairstyle is all poofed u p .. . I guess since I'm from Baltimore, I don't see any problems. But a lot of people from other places, they are like why do you have that big hair? (Nikky 19)

A roller w rap... They just wet it and wrap it around and put you under the dryer... Then every night you just wrap it around, put a scarf on it and go to bed... It's an easy hair style. You don't have to roll your hair. (Michelle 16)

I don't like the whole hair thing, I didn't want to be sitting in front of a daggone mirror for 30, 45 an hour, trying to curl my hair because it was like really long and it just took forever. [With my short hair,] it takes no effort. No maintenance. I get up and I may wash it and put a little scarf on at night and that's it. (Mildred 20)

This discussion of hair helps demonstrate the multiple meanings and

expressions that hair can illicit, produce and maintain. For example, Jaelin

claims that girls are jealous because her hair can grow long, but Mildred

contradicts her claim and explains how she cut her own hair because long

styles requires too much effort. Another example is, Nikky, who knows that

others may not understand her "big hair," but she's from Baltimore and that

is what they do there. Also integral to and experienced on multiple levels are

the girls' stories about their bodies.

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Their Physiques

For both the older girls and the younger girls, the discussion of

their bodies centered around weight and what weight can mean. All of the

girls said they liked their shapes, but would also add they were "too fat," or

"too skinny." The girls who think they are too fat negotiate that issue with

pseudo-diets, as Chandler (16) and Mimi (20) describe:

I fake like I'm on a diet or something. My mother don't pay no attention to me. I be like I'm going on a diet again.

I'm always trying to loose weight... I mean I go through phases where I say I'm going to diet for like a month and then sto p ... I'm not doing it right that's probably why I don't loose weight.

More important, the perception of being "too small" or "too big," was

dependent on what the girls thought were the benefits or detriments to being

big or small:

[M]y roommate, she has a really big butt... I know sometimes she feels subconscious about it because that's all people talk about. Like if somebody comes up to me I know it's not because I have a big butt, because I don't. (Robin 19)

My boyfriend is always telling me your butt is big. I like that. That's the first thing he says. He don't say nothing else, he's just always talking about my butt. (Michelle 16)

I'm like totally infatuated with my breasts. Girls are always like, "Are those yours?" And guys give you a second look. (Tree 17)

Tree's twin sister Keisha feels and experiences the exact opposite about her

large breasts:

I don't like people staring at my chest... After a point you realize they're not speaking to you anymore they are speaking to your chest... A lot of teachers always do that... he would be like "Wow Keisha, you are so

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brilliant!"'... And he would [say that] to like girls that were really big chested.

Kim (19) and Robin (18), who both attended predominately white private

high schools, further this discussion and help articulate how location will

also define and determine what is a benefit or a detriment:

Like I would stuff my bras. .. But when I got to the all girl's school I realized that wasn't important anymore... That school taught me that to value yourself, no matter w hat.. . And it instilled a lot of self-love that I probably wouldn't have gotten in a coed school.

Like when I was younger I wanted to be skinny. Cause I went to a private school with like all white people. And they were all like real skinny... [Then] you just grow up. You notice that's not what's attractive. .. I'm not skinny and I don't think skinniness is attractive at ah.

All these experiences demonstrate it is not just what we perceive, but what is

considered important and what gets validated. Also, liking your body, just

like appreciating your looks can be a maturing process. As Robin explained,

she matured and rejected the peer driven definition of her body, and realized

she was attractive too.

All the girls, except Scratchy (19) said that they liked their shapes.

When describing herself, the language was sharp and harsh:

My shit is fucked up. I get this shit from my daddy for real. I ain't got no ass, big titties and a gut that ain't going nowhere no matter how many sit-ups I d o ... [And] I've got these big feet.

The same things Scratchy described were the things that the girls wish they

could change. I asked the girls if they could take a magic wand and change

anything, what would it be? The vast majority of the girls wanted bigger or

smaller hips, butts or breast and several of the girls wanted smaller feet.

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Some mentioned wanting a flat stomach and toned body. But no one wanted

pain or artificial anything — they viewed this as wish, not a criteria for

acceptability. In fact, some girls argued that they did not want to change

anything:

I wouldn't change anything... Because then I'd be trying to look like something that somebody else w as... I mean the only way I could get the idea in my head would be by looking at something else.. . And that would be kind of like subconsciously thinking, oh that's pretty... But who told me that was pretty? I would just stick to what God gave me." (Rose 17)

But those who opted for change, claimed they were willing to suffer the

consequences of that decision:

I'd get breast to fit my frame. I think it would look nice. I want to feel like everybody else. But, I can lay on my stomach and it doesn't hurt. . . When I get my period they aren't tender. (Kim 19)

In order to "feel like everybody else," Kim is willing to give up the privileges

and comfort of tender-free small breasts. Notice that now that Kim has

returned to a coed situation, breasts are important again. She may no longer

stuff her bra and have learned to value herself, but she still desires bigger

breasts. The girls who wanted to change their bodies rationalized this

decision by claiming they want to wear certain things, they want clothes to

look better, or, they need a practical change:

I would let them, with the wand take out my wisdom teeth.. . I have to take all four of them out. (Solange 20)

I would change my stomach and make it smaller. Because I would want to get my belly button pierced. .. So I could show the belly button piercing off. (Destiny 16)

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And certain shirts I can't really wear [they] would look cute on someone with a smaller bust area... I like a lot of petite shirts.. . But, I don't know it's just not becoming [on] me. (December 18)

As the girls revealed, sexual self-image is just as complex and

commingled with ideas of acceptability and how the girls perceive outside

attention and feedback. Since the issues of body and clothes are closely

related, its important to see how the girls understand and negotiate their

sexual self-image through their clothes.

Their Attire and Attitude

When the girls were asked to explain and describe how their

clothes match their personality, the responses of Jordan (19), Destiny (16) and

Scratchy (19) succinctly capture the varied meanings and interpretations of

middle- class black girls' clothes and what they can represent and reflect:

I'm laid back, I guess that's wear earthy comes in. I can get kind of loud and fly girl like. I guess that's where the urban comes in. And then the preppy, I guess that's because I went to prep school.

My appearance is basically my outlook on life. When I was little my appearance was like Punky Brewster. And when my grandfather died and I was writing depressing poems. I had the Wednesday Adams Family look. If I'm in a bad mood, then I'll just wear some baggy clothes. If I'm in a good mood, I'll wear some form fitting clothes.

I know my sneakers fit my personality because my sneakers show that I'm always prepared. You understand what I mean? We can go out somewhere and then before you know it we've been out for eight hours and my feet could [have been] hurting.

While clothes can express who you are, they also provide others with

messages about you. Several of the girls said they did not wear "short-shorts"

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"midriff tops," or "revealing clothes." They dress with respect in order to

avoid and ward off "bad attention." Tanita (18) defines bad attention as "...

when guys look at you and they just want to have sex with you." Tanita

explains, "If I think its going to draw bad attention then I don't put it on."

Outgoing (16) goes one step further; she claims "If I can't wear it to church, I

can't wear it out on the street." Cheryl's (19) discussion with her male friend

seems to indicate that this strategy of not wearing revealing or tight clothing

is successful at tempering others perceptions and views. Her friend explained

to her that "... other girls would wear like tight clothes and they would wear

pants all the time, and you presented yourself ladylike and you carried

yourself that way."

What Cheryl's friend may not have realized is that Cheryl's church

forbids woman and girls to wear pants. These kinds of restrictions and

perceptions led Cheryl and others to rebel. Cherly explains:

It kind of made me have that rebellious spirit as far as start wearing pants and sneaking behind [my mother's] back wearing them.

This mother/ daughter twist, was also played out in Zaisha's (18) home. Her

rebellion was more physical and open. According to Zaisha, her mother

would cut up the clothes she thought were too revealing.

Clothes can be a very stressful terrain between parents and

adolescent girls. However, clothes can also be a sign of maturity:

Because everyone is still under the same mold, you know, with the same kind of pants, the same tennis shoes. It7s just like I really try to get away from that. So I think it shows me maturing a little bit more. And

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then if I dress up more I'm going to get used to dressing up when I have interviews for jobs. (Rose 17)

Mainly like the past year, I started to dress up a lot just because of school, then working. . . So whenever I go to the store I don't buy jeans and stuff anymore. I buy like work clothes. (Mimi 20)

I'd rather save my money.. . I just want to save up enough money so that I have a down payment on a house like after graduate school. That's my goal right now. (Solange 20)

While all the girls discussed types and styles of clothes, only the older girls

discussed the quality of clothes as being important. This may be related to the

idea of maturity. According to Scratchy (19), she sees designers like Tommy

Hilfiger and J. Crew, whose shirts could be $80 or $90 as investments. She

says, "You can't do that with these little shirts that you buying now that's $20

... or you know, some shirt out of Sears... It doesn't last." Mimi (20) also

pays designer prices because she thinks they will last and she can wear them

until she's 30 and 40 years old. And Kim (19) claims she does not have

expensive taste, but quality taste like her mother. As Kim explains, "My

mother is just like Miss Diva.. . She likes quality and so do I."

When I asked the girls to describe their basic style of dress, they

mentioned the same designers, stores and malls where the ghetto girl shops.

Other than cost, and maybe quality, there-is not a lot of difference between the

stereotypical inner city girls'and the middle-class girls' attire. As Elizabeth (18)

explains, ".. . at the mall, if you want the expensive clothes you can get it or if

you want the cheaper version of it, you can still get it. And it will look the

same." According to the girls, what really distinguishes them from the

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ghetto girl or the southeast stereotype is how they carry themselves. This

includes how they walk, talk and present themselves to the world. However,

there are some girls who adopt and participate in "ghetto" behavior.

Their Personality

The older girls have a much more complex narrative when it

comes to describing their personalities. In particular, several of them say they

act like their mothers. In addition, they are concerned about what others

think and how others treat them. There narrative reflects maturity and

growth in the sense they have experienced something and modified that

behavior. To describe themselves they use descriptors like "easy to get along,"

"independent," "strong willed," "friendly," "quick temper," "too nice,"

"don't like most girls," "smart mouth," "ghetto" and even "white."

You don't treat me like you treat the ghetto girl because I don't play that. My mother has always taught me self-respect... And so my standards as far as the respect that I require is very high. (Destiny 20)

I typically don't get along with most girls either. And most of the girls I'm friends with don't get along with other girls either. . .'The other girls always call us preppy and say we dress like white girls... If somebody pisses us off, we might turn to the loud kind of girl. (Jordan 19)

I can fit the mold of a ghetto girl... I think it7s embedded in me. I have an attitude. But I think I've gotten better with it because I used to fight at the drop of a hat. .. We used to throw bottles at girls. I used to be like that. . . But I've matured out of that, whereas a lot of them still have that mentality. (Kim 19)

A lot of times people call me Little Caucasian or Chez Whitey... because I talk, I don’t think that I talk proper, but I don't use slang. I like eat proper... friends and family try to give me that white name. (Lisa 18)

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I give of myself a lot. But I guess as I grew and became a little more mature you learn sometimes you can't always give. (Rachael 19)

The younger girls were less revealing or poignant about their personalities.

Their answers were short and quick. More surprising, was that only Destiny

(16) mentioned a negative descriptor, which she described as "sensitive," but

even that was a positive attribute to other girls. As Black Rose (15) explains:

I'm really sensitive about emotions. Like if I'm watching like a movie and it's sad. I think I get that from my father. We will start crying.

Other than Destiny's one negative comment, the younger girls' descriptors

were all "positive,"outgoing," "fun," "goals," "life plans," "cheerful," and

"caring."

I think I'm really outgoing. I speak my mind and try to be really nice to other people. (Keisha 17)

I have plans. I have goals in my life. I like to have fun; do crazy things; take risk. (Outgoing 16)

I'm very outspoken. But at times I can be.the.best person when you need someone to talk to. I'm not the type of person to take anything from anyone, especially females. (Makie 16)

What was extremely revealing and central to understanding the relationship

between the dominant scripts and the personal narratives is the narrative of

Chandler (16) and Kim (19). Their stories of being young, black and middle-

class disclose the complex negotiations they experience. While their stories

may not be exactly the same, I know from the various interviews that the

relationship between the dominant script and personal narrative is linked at

various levels.

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I say Fm split down the middle because like I got two sides... Like if somebody is looking at [me], I got to whip them ... my friends say I'm so ghetto... Like I'm really picky... Like my food, I don't want my food touching on the plate. My sisters all say you're so white... I'm the only white one out the bunch.. . That will make my whole personality the both sides put together. (Chandler 16)

Like the people around my way still say you talk white or you talk proper. I'm not going to change that. But I'll still go out and fight with y'all with my propemess and my whiteness. And I'll still go out and party with y'all.. . I wouldn't want to live in a lily white community and not know where I came from or the struggle that I see other people go through. (Kim 19).

These girls vividly described and explained the meaning of having "a foot in

both worlds." From the critique of Chandler's eating habits to the fact that

these girls are willing to fight shows their balance and paradox (see pg. 91). It

is also important to understand how these girls see themselves as different

from the stereotypical ghetto girls. In addition, it is important to understand

how these stereotypes affect them, and how their sexuality is different from

other girls.

The Personal Narrative: Living Within The Dominant Script

When I asked the group interview participants where the image of

stereotypical girl came from, all three groups accused the media, particularly

the hip hop industry and its wares -- videos, artists and songs. However, the

girls did not totally reject this venue and their artists. As an AU participant

explains, "Queen Latifah has class... Lil' Kim... she talks about her body

parts... she has a bad image." Their criticisms also included television

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caricatures like Shannanay from "The Martin, Lawrence Show" and Wanda

from the " In Living Color" comedy as broadcasting and supporting these

kinds of images.

In addition the groups identified the news and academicians as

helping perpetuate negative images in their own ways. These girls clearly

understood that although these pervasive images made all black people social

scapegoats, they particulary "pigeon hold" black girls which gives society the

wrong impression about all black girls. They also explained that these images

affect them at job interviews, in department stores and everywhere else they

go- Throughout the sexual self-image discussions, these girls

articulated how the interaction of their presentation, actions and associations

defined their sexual self-image. What was really revealing was how the girls'

responses about the stereotypical black girl were similar to their own personal

descriptions. When I asked the girls how they were different from the

stereotypical girls, naturally their responses centered on presentation, actions

and associations. -

Presentation

The girls from Bowie explained that "we take care of ourselves pretty

well. We don't go out looking any kind of way." This is one distinction that

all the girls discussed, that is, how they only present themselves in a

respectable manner. For example, they may wear tight revealing clothes, but

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they are aware, prepared and ready to handle what that could potentially

mean. As the AU group explains:

It's almost like when you put on your clothes, you have to almost forecast who is going to approach you, because of what you have on like accepting if I go out in a see though shirt and some little shorts, that a certain group of people will probably be more inclined to talk to me. Whereas if I had on baggy jeans, a sweat shirt and baseball cap, you attract a different group of people.

So, it is not about what you wear, but how you wear it and when. According

to the interview responses, the stereotypical black girl's dress is revealing all

the time -- regardless if she is going to school, a job interview or a night club.

The "ghetto girl" does not know that revealing clothes are not always

appropriate or desirable.

The discussion of language was an important difference too. Their

idea communication style was not only about profanity but how you

articulate yourself. As outlined in the beginning of this the chapter, "... not

speaking the way you're suppose to" is part of being ghetto. The group

interviews revealed that the girls separate themselves from those whoonly

speak ghetto, and those who can use it with appropriate company. In one

sense, they are not ghetto because they cannot talk like stereotypical girls. As

one girl from Bowie explains her frustration with slang and ghetto

vernacular:

[Wjhenever there's a new word or whatever ... My boyfriend, he will be like you can't say that because you can't say it right. .. What's right? He can't [he] tell me I'm not right?

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Several girls discussed the issue of language, tone, pitch, volume and more

important, "talking properly" and "talking ghetto." When I was listening to

the interviews, I realized that the girls fade in and out of "ghetto girl talk" and

"proper talk." Again, their conscious ability to know when, where and how

to use language distinguishes them from the stereotypical black girl.

Action

The girls discussed the "hostile" attitude of ghetto girls, explaining

they do not share this aggression. As one AU girl explained, "Some people

are hostile, just like wake up with hostilities. But, I have hostilities for

certain reasons." The group continued the discussion and explained that "the

environment they live in breeds hostility." This discussion is further

articulated by HU girls who explain that being removed from that

environment makes them different from the stereotypical girl. As one girl

clarified, "By being on campus, in class, we're removed from the

environment." However, one group member immediately qualified that

statement by revealing, "I think we're removed but not disconnected. . . I'm

active in other organizations that are in the community, so I'm not removed.

.. I fust don't live there."

Her position also alludes to the issues of balance and paradox.

Clearly, this discussion articulates the fact that there are geographical

boundaries that literally separate and create particular attitudes. In other

words, if you are a stereotypical girl, your environment socializes you to be

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hostile. Not being from that environment makes you less hostile and, even

if you participate in that environment, you are still notof that environment.

Black middle-class girls understand that their environment socializes them to

have a different attitude from stereotypical black girls.

The Bowie group specifically discussed the stereotypical black girl's

attitude as a marker of their difference. They discussed her defensiveness and

her need for attention. One girl describes their defensiveness as lashing out:

You can just say hi and just be friendly. And they'll be like why are you trying to point me out and bringing attention to me. They just take it in the wrong way.

One girl explained the stereotypical girls' need for attention as:

flit's deeper than just the attention that they want from guys— Maybe if you get attention from your family. . . and you go from your family to yourself and you put yourself first, then you don't need attention from anyone else.

These girls see themselves as friendly and nice and expect that

behavior in return. They would never assume someone is trying to "point

them out" simply because they said hi. This inappropriate, defensive

behavior distinguishes them from stereotypical girls. And the need for

attention is also foreign to these girls — at least when it comes to satisfying the

need for attention. Through their families, they become self-actualized and

do not need to look outside themselves for attention and confirmation.

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Associations

The girls know that their middle-class status affords them parental

concern and care. Since they become self-assured through the family, that

particular association separates them from stereotypical girls. In both the

group interviews and the long interviews, the girls discussed the lack of

parental care and control as a contributory factor in the lives of stereotypical

black girls. Also critical and closely related to the issues of action and

environment is their association with the black middle-class. As one girl

from AU explains,

[M]iddle-class African-Americans perceive themselves and they perceive others like in terms of social status.. . and they try to defy that image and make it positive. .. because the association with ghetto is negative.

Being associated and connected to strong parental figures and the black

middle-class separates these girls from the stereotypical black girl.

The responses from the group interviews provide the contextual

framework to understand exactly the commonalties and differences between

the ghetto girl and the middle-class black girl. It has more to do with personal

behavior, location and communal expectations. While they may wear the

same hair styles and clothes, shop at the same malls and even have ghetto

girlfriends, they are different. Their presentation is calculated and

appropriate; their upbringing and environments are positive and socialize

them to be open and friendly; lastly, their association with their families and

the black middle-class separated them from the ghetto girl. Conversely, the

ghetto girls are described as loud and inappropriate, and their upbringing

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breeds defensiveness and hostility. In addition, their lack of parental care and

their association with poverty present an image and expectation that middle-

class black girls attempt to transcend.

The Personal Narrative and Comparing Other Narratives

When I asked the girls how their sexual self-image was different

from other girls, they only compared themselves to white girls. Their

narratives revealed that the deep historical dichotomies and perceptions of

white and black females still exist. What is more interesting is how the girls

articulate and understand these historical constructs. According to all three

group interviews, white girls are weaker and expect that someone will take

care of them. They have lower self-esteem, less confidence and are easily

manipulated and used by black boys. Lastly, their social image as frail, weak

and pure really hides their promiscuity. As the groups explain:

[F]or a black woman she's demanding and she wouldn't take different things because of her background. . . their ancestors had to struggle and they learn by them. .. White women they haven't had anything to struggle... [T]hey haven't7 had anything to deal with.

I think black women are more focused. But there are [white] girls in our school... their mothers don't work so they see somebody taking care of them and life is easy... [A]s black women we know that our success isn't going to come easy and that we have to make something of ourselves in order to prosper.

I think black women have more pride in themselves as to their appearance and how they feel about themselves. .. It's a big issue in my school how the white girls are always like I'm so fat They take pills.

I don't think we're as easy as white females are... I think they are more submissive. [T]he white girls I grew up around, they like black men.

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Some girls would by yeah, I met this boy... Yeah, I did it to him. And the black girls .. . they're like I'm going to talk to him; I'll give it some time and see what he's all about.

Black guys with white girls. I don't have a problem with it. It's just that some boys, they be like well white girls, they're giving it up and you are more fickle ... they say [they're] just easier to work w ith... [I]f he says you better do this ... [white girls] think that7s what he's suppose to be like because he's a black male. That what she thinks, so she takes it.

White women to me are closet freaks.. . And like their whole vibe is like a nice wholesome white girl. But when you get her in the bedroom she'll turn it loose.

These girls articulate the fact that historical constructs of black and

white femininity still exists. Regardless if the girls are being compared to the

stereotypical girl or the white girl, they have a unique social position;

therefore, their existence as middle-class black girls allows them to negotiate

and transcend various social settings and expectations. At the same time,

they realize how they are perceived and actively engage in behavior that

contradicts any negative images or perceptions people may have. Having

"feet in both worlds," they know this is a never-ending battle. As one HU girl

explains,

I received the heat both ways... I grew up on First Street and its like a little ghetto. . . Yet I went to Washington International, which is uptown... So I got the heat when I went to school, they stereotyped me. Like you're that type of ghetto Black girl... Then I went home I acted too white or I didn't fit in, or you think you're better than everybody else. I got it both ways.

This has chapter outlined and defined the sexual self-image of

middle-class black girls. Through presentation, action and association, they

develop a sexual self-image that allows them to navigate and negotiate

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various social settings. Their ability to have "a foot in each world" allows

them, access to success without rejecting or shunning the black community.

More important, they develop a positive, reflexive view of three sexual self-

images, regardless of overarching stereotypes and assumptions.

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THE DOMINANT SCRIPT AND PERSONAL NARRATIVES:

UNDERSTANDING THE PARTNER SELECTION OF

MIDDLE-CLASS BLACK GIRLS

This chapter will explore the influences on middle-class girls'

partner selections. Specifically, it will reveal who gives these girls messages

about boys, sex and romantic friendships and where they are influenced. I

first outline which characteristics the focus group respondents reported are

appealing and important when choosing a partner. That will be followed by a

black feminist interpretation of those message sources and partner choices. I

will then discuss how middle-class black girls describe the ghetto girls' partner

selection, and that will be followed by a discussion of their own partner

selection. Finally, I wrill outline the relationship between the respondents'

description of the stereotypical girls' partner selection and their own.

Partner Selection: Focus Group Respondents Identify Presentation. Action and Association

For middle-class black girls attractive characteristics are closely

134

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aligned with those things that help define their own sexual self-image (see pg.

x). Specifically, the girls were concerned with how the boys present

themselves; their actions, that is, their congenial characteristics, ambition,

emotion, and at times dependability; last, their associations, that is boys'

relationships with their families and their sexual activities with other girls.

The girls said that physical looks were generally a prerequisite and the

initial attractor when selecting a partner, but, they were quick to articulate

that physical looks were an insufficient determinant for selecting a partner.

As girls from Bowie and HU explain:

... Then you look deeper and say he's kind of good looking based on how he acts. Because if I see someone and they look great, but I'll see how they're acting. I'm like um uh.

But what's going to really end up sustaining the relationship or keep you there is not the appearance.. . Cause you can meet someone who you're not necessarily attracted to them from the get go, but they have all these characteristics or whatever. And then you end up finding yourself attracted to them.

Therefore, the most important factors are the boys' personalities, followed by

their ambition and last their personal associations, including family and past

relationships.

When it came to describing desirable personality traits, the girls

used descriptions like "confident," "conscious," "fun," "cocky," and

"spiritual." As girls from AU, Bowie and Howard explain:

Compassionate in like every day things. He like cares about what's going on in the world, with other people.

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... cocky guys ... They are really self-centered. But that comes with that ... you know they take care of themselves and have pride in what they do.

Strong character ... Someone who knows who they are ... they always perceive themselves that way and no matter what environment, they don't change themselves.

The issue of maintaining a sense of self, regardless of environment, is key to

the girls and their relationships with boys. In all three group interviews, the

girls talked about how boys behave one way in private, but, when they get

around their friends they change their personalities. However, one girl from

Bowie rationalizes this public/private personality switch as "pride." As she

explains, "I mean you've got to let them be around their boys. You've got to

let them have their pride."

The girls also want someone who is ambitious, has personal goals

and is motivated. They used words like "stability," "intellectual," and "job

seeking." The group interview respondents described these enduring

qualities as being a "gentleman," "dependable" and "college bound":

... act like a gentleman. If they go on a date they should at least offer to pay.

... they're going to go to college and they have their life. Instead of standing on the corner smoking marijuana all day.

I want to be able to depend on them. Not like I need to, but want to be able to.

Last on the girls' list were the boys' personal associations. They seemed to be

interested in boys who are connected to their families, particularly their

mothers.

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Love your m om ... you're connect[ed] to your family ... you value your family.

The girls believed that if boys loved their mothers, then they probably

respected women. In addition, they were concerned about a potential

partner's sexual activity and previous relationships. They wanted to know

about previous associations, in order to temper and/or rationalize the boys'

behavior or their own behavior. As respondents from Bowie and HU

discussed:

... about that cheating thing ... What if you can change somebody? Sometimes it depends on who they were with and why they cheated. . . [TJf they went with ghetto girls, they kind of went to those girls because they knew that they could cheat on them. . . Then, they finally got a girl who could be intellectual. . . anything that those other girls weren't. You could change them.

I could have been like a wild ho', but I meet the right man who happens to be the one for me, my soul mate, and from that point I desire to be with no other man but him. If he looks at me sexually and defines me by that, then I lose the possibility of a perfect relationship.

The same concepts that define middle class black girls' sexual self-

image — presentation, action and association -- are the same characteristics

that they find desirable in potential partners. Specifically, they want someone

who is attractive which includes how a boy dresses and carries himself. As

one girl from AU explains, "You know how some boys they may not look

real good, but they always dress cute; and people will be like he's cute cause of

how he carries himself." More important, the girls are concerned about his

actions, that is his personality and future potential and dependability, and

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last, his associations which include his sense of family, prior relationships

and the sexual activity that occurred within these relationships.

Partner Selection: Focus Group Respondents Identify the Media, Church, friends and Family

While individual choice is extremely important, when girls choose

their partners, those choices are influenced by their socializing agents and

social networks. For middle-class black girls in particular, the socializing

agents that influence partner selection are the media and church. The social

networks that influence their choices are friends and family.

Media

The media seem to have the least effect on the girls' decisions

about choosing a partner. In fact, the girls argue that there are so few shows

that realistically feature black females, that the media is only good for letting

you know what's in style and what looks good. As one Bowie girl explained,

"When Tupac first came out everybody was like 'ooh I want a bald man.'"

However, the girls did admit that the media provides indicators of romance

and definitions of acceptability. As girls from AU and HU explain:

TV is a very good indicator for that which is socially accepted. TV. .. will give you certain constraints relative to age. You're 18 so you date people who are 18, so 28 is too old. I think it's a good indicator of those sorts of things.

[The media] affects what we look for. What type of relationship you should have with another person. Or like how it should go or what course it should take. I think it determines romance to a certain degree.

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The girls see the media as providing social images and expectations, but they

say it does not directly affect their choices. As one girl from AU exclaims,

"[W]hat I see, who I see, who I go home with, who I end up with in bed, the

media has no influence!" However, the church does affect those decisions.

Church

The girls' affiliation, attendance and membership with particular

churches and denominations provide the girls with specific information and

expectations about selecting a partner, and activities with that partner. As

girls from HU and Bowie explain:

I went to private Catholic school. .. The Catholic church forms like a lot of guilt; a lot of oh God this is so wrong, Why am I doing this? And that has a lot to do with like how you see yourself. What things you do. Who you go out with and how you feel about what you've done.

At my church we were talking about just like if you love someone how they should dress in a Godly manner and how they should act... [W]e talked about the different ways and how you should handle relationships. .. Not just with sex but with conversation and trust.

I think church has kept me from doing some things... One of the most important things they said to me is like your body is a temple. So, before I'll do something, I'll think about it. Am I respecting my body by letting someone do certain things?

Equally important were the girls' ideas and concepts of spirituality and how

that affected their partner selection.

Before it was totally irrelevant But now it's like, I wouldn't say it's a primary concern but it's definitely more relevant as I've gotten older. Not necessarily straight church, but having some type of higher being, spiritual, religious belief.

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Spirituality will play a definite role because that7s what your values, your foundation, that7s w hat you know. So any interaction w ould be based on that.

A potential partner's religious and spiritual outlook also affects the girls

choices. As the girls reveal:

When you're younger it really doesn't make a difference if the person goes to church or if they have some type of spiritual value. But as you get older, it affects like your whole demeanor.

I don't think they have to attend church on a day to day basis. But I think they have to have some form of higher being.

In addition, the girls revealed that a partner's spiritual outlook could directly

change their behavior. As one ALT girl revealed, "[I]f I'm dating someone

who has very strong religious beliefs. May be way, way stronger than mine.

My likelihood to do certain things is going to be less." However, not all the

girls' partner selection was influenced or directed by a religious or spiritual

framework. As one girl from HU explains, "It7s more like me. It's something

I want to do. That's not necessarily church. .. I think of my body as like a

sacred thing."

While certain churches and denominations provide middle-class

black girls with specific messages, restrictions and expectations, the vast

majority of the girls required that their partners at least recognize a religious

and/or spiritual framework. As one girl from AU states, "He can't be an

atheist!"

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Friends

The girls in this study described themselves as good friends — they

listened, they are available and they care. However, they were cautious and

selective when it came to listening to their girlfriends. As one group

interview member explains, "I pick and choose cause I don't take advice from

people who do not follow their own advice." While the vast majority of the

girls confided in girls, some girls sought male advice. As one AU girl

explains, "I listen to my male friends more than I would my female friends

just because [boys] do the same things." Her strategy is to go to the source of

the problem to understand the issue, versus listening to girls and their

speculations about the issue.

The intensity of the friendship determined how much the girls

trusted their friends and the advice. As girls from HU explain:

If it's a good friend, you know that they would want the best for you. So they wouldn't say anything to hurt you or anything like that. But an associate, they might like the same boy and they might want him t hemselves.

Also, if your friends did not like your partner you were less likely to seek

advice or share information. In fact, when their girlfriends did not like their

partners it caused them to be "secretive with their friends." However, this

pressure can lead the girls to rejecting their friends' opinions, while

maintaining a sense of self. As one girl from Bowie exclaims:

I've had it with my friends. Like they make comments like he doesn't really have a body. He has long arms. I don't care because as long as I like him it doesn't matter what they think!

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These middle-class black adolescent female friendships are complex, critical

and essential. They provide context and information for girls to adhere to or

reject. However, their friends' messages can be contradictory and confusing.

As one girl from HU explains:

[T]here will be days that they want to pick on me like why haven't you done this and what are you waiting for? And then they are like I wish I had been like you, I wish I had waited.

While friends are a key reference point for partner selection, families serve

the fundamental role of setting rules, boundaries and expectations.

Family

The family is the primary conduit of information, expectations and

acceptability. While personal preference and desire are essential, the girls

negotiate what they want and what their families expect. The girls and

parents were usually in sync about partner selection but parents generally

have the final say. As one girl from AU exclaims, "If my mom doesn't like

you then you're probably going to be cut!" Families also serve as barometer of

what is acceptable and the girls' feelings toward a partner.

I always let whoever I meet, meet my mother first so they know where I'm coming from and she's coming from. So, they won't try anything stupid.

[If] I take you home that must mean something great. They cling on people that's the problem and then if I want to break up with you I can't because they won't like you.

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The majority of the girls had open and honest conversation with their

mothers, but some girls sought and received information from fathers,

brothers and uncles. While their messages were meant to demonstrate love,

protection and care, they were generally negative and accusatory:

[I]f ifis up to [my father] you need to ask him to go out. They're from the country, old school, country folks.

[My] uncle just came out and asked me, are you a virgin? I'm like, it's a good thing that I am ... What if he ask me next time and what if I say no? How is that going to make him view me?

My brother is an idiot. I don't listen to his comments... Look at your shorts, you're a freak... If I get male attention he gets m ad ... He [asks], what are you talking to my sister for?

If it's my dad and he says something about it, then I know it's bad. Because he looks at it and he's like I was a boy once. And this is how I thought about girls who did that.

While male family members consistently gave derogatory message about boys

and their behavior, mothers did too. As one girl mimics her mother, "[A]ll

guys are dogs. Period." These negative male messages led the girls to discuss

boys and their need for a father figure. As one girl explains:

[M]ales who don't have a father, they need a father figure. If you don't have that father figure there to set an example for you, it's hard for you to see what's right and whafis wrong. You need a father to say don't put your hands on no female.

The girls articulate the fact that boys need help and guidance with

understanding what is "right" and "wrong." This lack of guidance and

information can lead to violence and inappropriate behavior. Both mothers

and fathers tell girls stories about this inappropriate behavior, and these kinds

of conversations influence the girls and help their decision about partners:

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I love it when me and my dad talk because I like to hear what he [thought] when he was younger. I pay attention to what he says.

[When] you've seen your mother go through pain and strife I would say those things will help you make decisions.

Through various strategies and messages the family attempts to protect and

inform girls. These strategies include the "nasty test/' where a mother is

purposively nasty and judges the boys' reactions. As the girls explain, "My

mom [will] like screen them," or the "country" father who thinks that boys

should ask his permission to visit with his daughter. This strong parental

involvement heavily influences the girls and how they choose partners.

The girls' personal preferences are heavily influenced by the

messages they receive from their friends, church and family. Sometimes

these messages were extremely contradictory and confusing. For example,

girls and boys wear braids, but one girl's church preaches "nobody should

wear braids in their hair. That's in the bible ... no female or male should

wear braids." There are also times that the girls must reject external messages

and formulate their own position. For middle-class adolescent black girls,

partner selection is the confluence of the girls' social networks and personal

desires. While the girls want someone who is nice, ambitious, spiritual and

good looking, this partner has to be able to impress their families too. In

order to delve further into the source and ramifications of partner selection, it

is important to explore the contemporary and social meanings of those

sources.

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Interpreting the Middle Class Black Girls' Partner Selection

The girls in this study explain that they receive a variety of

messages from specific sources. On the surface, these sources provide

direction and guidance, but, they can also be a source of contention and angst.

This struggle is about the root of the message and how that root can be

restrictive, and at times oppressive. But, within the black community those

restrictions historically and socially, have been seen as protective measures,

particularly for adolescent girls. At the same time, middle-class black girls use

these restrictive sources to create and articulate a balance between what these

sources demand and what they want for themselves. This reality reflects the

complexity and various levels of consciousness that inform and guide these

girls' partner selection (see pg. 38)

Media

Historically, the media has positioned black people, in particular

black adolescent girls in derogatory, racist and sexists manner (Ziegler 1995).

As technology advances, the importance of visual and non-visual media and,

its power and influence throughout the global world will further shape

images and exceptions about black girls. In most pop-culture mediums girls

are relegated and reduced to sexual beings. They either support the idea of

sex, for example, a back drop to malt liquor, sneaker or car advertisements.

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Or, they are directly selling sex, especially as dancers and props in hip hop

videos.

For adolescent black girls, being reduced to a sexual image has

particular meaning. As one girl from AU explains:

[U]sually in black movies, like the attraction between people has a lot to do with how they're sexually attracted to a person... Whereas in the white moviesO 's like they lead to a sexual relationship.. . Their like friends first, but black movies the objective is simply intercourse.

The girls clearly recognize that their role in the media is strictly physical.

Their sexuality is not about love, sensuality and romance, but sexual

conquest.

Recently, TV and other mediums have pushed forth new, modern,

middle-class images of black girls, for example, "Moesha," "Sister-Sister" and

"Livin' Single." However, these new shows still have stereotypical images

and caricatures. For example, the character Max in "Livin' Single" is more

concerned about and in pursuit of the physical aspects of sex. As one girl

from Bowie describes:

I like Max, but she is only worried about sex. She doesn't care about the guy. She just wants to know if he's good looking and can do it.

However, bell hooks' (1996) would applaud Max's role as portraying a black

female who is sexually self-assured.

While these new shows portray black girls as smart, upwardly

mobile, beautiful and well liked, the age-old monolithic image, of the loud,

single mother who is unproductive and uneducated is still the most

prevalent image. One HU student points to the irony of this imagery:

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White producers probably don't even know any black girls to make a different image. But it's sad when black men make those images. Especially when they play those caricatures, like Shannay and Wanda. Clearly, the girls see the inconsistent and persistent images of black girls

through various mediums. They argue that these mediums do not directly

influence their actions; in fact, very few long interview respondents discussed

the media influencing them. But, the girls did point to the media as

outlining what their peers see as appropriate and acceptable. These norms

tend to concentrate on clothes, what is socially appealing, and suitable

parameters for romantic friendships. These girls do not look to the media's

messages to define or influence their partner selection.

C hurch

The church has traditionally been a contested terrain for girls. On

one level, the black church provides leadership skills like public speaking,

event planning, and organizational skills. On another level, the institution

itself subordinates females to helpmates and servers. That being the case, the

church's messages concentrate on presentation, what girls wear and their

behavior — what they can and cannot do. For example, Cheryl (19) who had

to sneak to wear pants (pg. 121) and Jaelin's (20) concept and interpretation of

virginity (pg. 175). Even with these restrictions and occasional dogma, black

girls and their future contributions and participation help maintain and

sustain the black church.

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However, to keep in pace with the complex questions and needs of

today's youth, the church has begun to bring these issues of sexuality to the

pulpit, divinity schools and publishing. For example Dr. Jerimah A.

Wright's, January 18,1998, sermon that centered on the women in Jesus' life

and how their trials and tribulations of single motherhood and premarital sex

are no different from girls and women today. More important, he preached

about how girls should not feel ashamed about these things, and others

should not judge or chastise girls for having these experiences. His argument

focuses on the fact, that the women in Jesus' family had the same issues and

there should be no shame when Jesus is involved.

Dr. Eric Michael Dyson's, January 25,1998, sermon also challenged

the church to address its inherent and institutional patriarchy, homophobia,

and sexism. Also, for the last two years Howard University's School of

Divinity has hosted a conference on religion and sex. Lastly, there are authors

like Reenita Weems,' whose book, Tust 'A Sister Away, highlights and

explains the importance of women, and their contributions in the bible;

Cheryl Sanders' theoretical work, Living the Intersection: Womanism and

Afrocentrism in Theology, which fuses the ideas of Afrocentrism and

Womanism; and, the numerous spirituality books like Tapping the Power

Within, by Iyalna Vanzant.

Understanding that sex has been an institutional taboo for the church

and a cultural taboo for the black community, this is a radical shift for black

divinity. But clearly, not all black churches or denominations are adopting

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this open, frank dialogue. Regardless, this trend is expanding and can be seen

in the media's fusion of religion, spirituality and pop culture. Some good

examples in the media are Kirk Franklin's hip hop approach to gospel, which

is heavily played on BET (Black Entertainment Television), and on

Washington, DC's, youth-oriented radio stations WKYS and WPGC. Another

most recent example is ESSENCE M agazine's February 1999, cover story

entitled "Can You Love God and Sex?"

This more modem pop culture, youthful orientation to religion seems

to be working. Velma McBride Murry's (1996) article, of "Inner-City Girls of

Color: Unmarried Sexually Active Nonmothers, " argues that girls need a

balance between strong social controls and avenues of independence that

allow girls options and opportunities for successful adulthood. The church

and the girls' concept of spirituality seem to be providing the protective,

restriction messages and the open, frank dialogue that girls need to make

mature, informed decisions when selecting a partner.

Friends

As a source of information, friends seem to be the most

controversial. Boyd (1995) Coleman (1998), Gibson (1995) and Way (1996) all

point to the importance, significance and essentialness of girlfriends. As

Coleman explains,

... I can remember quite a few times when my friends left me wondering if they did indeed have my best interest at heart. . . As we celebrate the beauty, loyalty, and love of our girlfriends, if s important

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for us to agree to disagree at times, have patience, and accept the fact that our girlfriends may not always be as sensitive, considerate, or loving as we'd like them to be. But no matter what they are still our girlfriends, so we m ust try to understand (1998, p. 14). However, as fundamental as friendships are to adolescence, the girls seem to

have a hard time expressing trust. Several of the girls discussed how their

best friends were boys, or they preferred to confide in boys. As Cerrissa (17)

explains,

I don't have time for girls. They talk too much. And boys seem to just, keep what you tell them it seems, to just stay with them ... I trust girls, but it's some girls that just messed it up for me trusting all girls.

According to Niobe Way (1996), urban adolescent friendships are

experienced along a continuum of betrayal and desire. That is, even when

they are betrayed by a close or best friend, they still desire these types of

relationships. Specifically, girls tend to report having a best friend, however,

they also describe how best and close friends can betray their trust. As girls

mature, this betrayal seems to become more common and trust less easy to

earn. In particular, the core issue of trust centers around"... their difficulties

trusting their same-sex peers, to 'be there' for them, to keep their 'secrets'

confidential, not to 'steal' their romantic partners, and not to take their

material possessions" (Way 1996, p. 180). Friendship, particularly between

girls can be extremely complex. Since girls are socialized to be connected and

liked, they may stay in untrustworthy friendships which are no longer

healthy or necessary. Way (1996) argues, girls will pursue the intimacy of

friendship despite its betrayal.

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But it is not to say that these girls do not develop and build strong,

enduring friendships. In fact, several of the girls discussed how they provide

guidance and advice to their girlfriends. In order to ask for guidance there

has to be some element of trust. So, adolescent girlfriends flux between

betrayal and trust. This dynamic creates a situation where girls may initially

and outwardly denounce friendships, but immediately describe how they

look to friends as sources of information and approval when it comes to

partner selection.

Family

Family is the most crucial conduit when it comes to transmitting

information about partner selection, in particular the female influence is the

most essential. Mothers and "other mothers1," provide nurture, truth,

experience, honesty and openness, bell hooks describes this open, intense

dialogue between mothers and daughters as "tongues of fire" (1993, pp. 31-40).

Ward (1996) adopts hooks7 concept of "tongues of fire" to articulate strategies

within the m other / daughter dyad. While hooks (1993) and Ward (1996)

outline the derogatory effects of this fiery dialogue, this sharp rhetoric adds to

the sharing and interplay that occur between black mothers and daughters.2

1 The concept of “other mothers” refers to importance of motherhood within the black community, and that any female who provides care and nurture is an “other mother” (Hill-Collins 1991, pp. 119-123). 2 See Cauce, et al. (1996). African American Mothers and Their Adolescent Daughters: Closeness, Conflict and Control, in Urban Girls.

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Particularly, when it comes to issues of sexuality and partner selection,

having this "telling it like it is" approach is critical.

Clearly, this "tongues of fire" approach by itself could lead girls to

adopt short-term and short-sighted choices (Ward 1996, p. 95). For example,

constantly hearing messages like, "all boys are dogs!" "keep your legs closed!"

and, "boys only want one thing!" could lead girls to making decisions and

choices that are not critically scrutinized or analyzed. Moreover, this sole

approach could lead girls to distrusting themselves and all potential partners.

But, these girls reported that their mothers go beyond hot lyrics and attacks

and share their own experiences and how those experiences help them know

what is best for their daughters, Ward (1996, p. 95) would describe this

approach, as "truth telling for liberation," which she defines as "positive

recognition."

W ard (1996) contrasts her "truth telling for liberation" approach

with hooks' "tongue of fire," approach which Ward characterizes as "truth

telling for survival." Ward claims that mother/daughter dyads that only

employ "truth telling for survival," do not provide girls with critical, long

term thinking skills. While I agree with Ward, I argue that when it comes to

discussions about partners and sexuality, there needs to be a balance of "truth

telling for survival," and "truth telling for liberation." My argument is

similar to McBride's (1996) discussion about the church's abilities to provide

restrictive boundaries, while simultaneously communicating reflective

directives, that are now transmitted through a variety of pop culture

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mediums. In other words, mothers seem to be able to provide equilibrium

between sharp, harsh, hot, tempered messages that may be painful and

reflective conversational discussions that help stimulate and formulate girls

and their ability to critically choose partners.

For example, I believe that girls who choose to deviate from a

normative middle-class partner who is upwardly mobile, in the traditional

sense (college-bound, career-oriented) and decide to date a "hustler" or "drug

dealer," have critically made a choice. Naturally, it is not a smart choice, but

they have decided that the prevalence and benefits outweigh the risk.

Ironically, these underworld choices are not new to the black middle-class.

Frazier (1962) described how the black middle-class often intermingled and

worked with gamblers, hustlers and other types of criminals to supplement

and support middle-class conspicuous consumption. However, these girls

may not realize the severe consequences of these choices.

The mothers and other mothers in these girls' lives provide basic,

straight forward talk that is often couched within the context of their personal

experience. Meshing the "tongues of fire" with "positive recognition"

prepares girls to make sound and well informed decisions about choosing a

partner. Now, not all mothers are open and forthright. Some of these

mothers only employ fiery tongues, some are silent, and others push for

traditional sexist monologues that leave girls with incomplete and ineffective

resources to make informed decisions. However, the majority of the girls in

this study reported having an extremely positive and loving relationship

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with their mothers and other mothers. These relationships and the custodial,

honest information they yield enable middle-class black girls to reflect, think

and make empowered decisions about partners.

This discussion is not meant to undermine or erase the male

influence in the girls' lives. But, fathers, brothers, uncles and male friends do

not compare when it comes to preparing girls to handle the difficulties of

sexuality and choosing a partner. However, these male messages are

important to girls. They look to males and their opinions as a gauge for

appropriate and acceptable behavior. Many of the girls said they value these

male messages and stories because men are not speculating about boys'

behavior, they are simply "telling it like it is." As men, they can provide

accurate explanations and insight that mothers, other mothers and girlfriends

cannot. But, the males' messages, while they are intend to be protective, tend

to only come through the "tongues of fire." In other words, fathers, brothers,

uncles and friends seem to denounce and denigrate each other. They, too,

spout out messages about boys' unruly behavior. Equally important, they

question and warn girls about their presentation, action and associations, and

how they need to keep "their stuff in order" to ward off boys.

Again, these limited negative messages, while designed and

intended to be helpful, can be extremely harmful and unproductive in

building equalitarian relationships between boys and girls. However, the

social reality is that girls sometimes have to be cautious about boys, because

society gives them permission and expects them to act and behave

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inappropriately. Not all males deliver pessimistic messages; some are silent,

and others attempt to understand and share with their daughters.

Girls receive a variety of messages from different sources. While

these sources of information are fundamental to the girls' critical thinking

and partner selection skills, it is up to the girl to either reject or adhere to the

messages and expectations of these sources. As December (18) explains,

... It goes by how I interpret it and how I take it in. You might be telling me everything , the right thing to know for when I go out in the real world. But if I interpret it a different way then my actions or my reactions might be different.

The Dominant Script: Describing The Ghetto Girls' Partner Selection

When the girls in this study described the stereotypical girl's

partner selection, they used tangible descriptors like "cars," "clothes,"

"sexually satisfying," "a baby's daddy," and "money." They never mentioned

church, spirituality or religion. When describing the stereotypical girls

partner selection, it was as if these issues were nonexistent and irrelevant.

There was no discussion of rules or discipline. A vast maj’ority of the girls

described the ghetto girls' material desire and sexual pleasure as her primary

concern when choosing a partner. In other words, they wanted a boy who

could provide money, a father figure for their children, a car, and a boy with a

"reputation."

When the girls discussed the messages that stereotypical girls

receive, they said that the ghetto girls' messages were peer intensive. These

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messages tend to be limited, often misguided and generally focused on

material gain and sexual pleasure. Equally important, these peer intensive

messages are prevalent because parents are unavailable or unable to provide

accurate information that would be uplifting and protective.

Ghetto Girls: Messages from Mothers

According to Tanita (18), who was involved in a teen group at Children's

Hospital:

[T]eenagers didn't get attention at home. So the only real attention and like friendship they have is their peers. .. And your peers don't know really anymore than you do. .. So in the street you're going to get a lot of negative information and wrong information about things.

DeShawn (15) further explains:

[H]er parents probably either didn't care or weren't good parents or weren't there most of the tim e.. . She had to learn things on her own.

The lack of parental involvement and inappropriate parental messages was

expressed by several girls. As Outgoing (16) describes, "[P]arents out here,

especially mothers, they're basically doing their own thing.

Goldie (15) adds:

[Her mother] rents hotel rooms... I think it's wrong because they can do anything. Her mom might trust her too much because she doesn't know the consequences.

Goldie clearly articulates that this mother must be naive and/or too trusting

to believe there would be no consequences for renting a hotel room for her 16

year old daughter.

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Jaelin (20) and Jordan (19) claim that these mothers present the idea

and instruct girls, "especially fly girls" that using your body for material gain

was acceptable and at times, necessary:

[Tjhey probably have seen their mothers with 10 million different men. . . Probably coming at night and sleeping, waking up in the morning and all of a sudden their rent is paid, and there's food in the refrigerator.

I know a lot of girls whose mothers told them go get what you can get, however you can get it. I know a lot of people who had those kind of instructions.

Anastada (20) and Rose (17) explained that continuously hearing and seeing

these types of situations and scenarios rationalizes the messages, and they

become acceptable to the girls, and they have to fight hard to avoid "falling

into the trap":

They don't know better. That's all they've lived; thaTs all they've seen. That's all that opportunity has given them.

I know when you see a lot of the same things going on, it doesn't seem so bad that it's happening to other people. She sees so much of that in her own family. . . [E]ither she's going to do something about it or immediately she's going to fall into those same traps.

However, the girls understood that the ghetto girls' structural realities often

dictate and influence the context of these messages. As Rachael (19) and

Anastada (20) articulate:

The stereotypical ghetto girls they could probably be one of many children and their mother is working a lot to support them. And probably no father in the household, so you wouldn't have time to bond with her children.

There's not much a mother with five kinds for five different men can say to her girl. It's sad to say but it is true.

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Mimi (20) explained how these unsuitable messages are the result of the role

imbalance between the stereotypical girl and her mother:

[T]he stereotypical girl and the stereotypical mother I see them being real open. So the mothers aren't really being like motherly. They're almost being like a friend or sisterly and not acting their role. And just letting a lot go by that shouldn't.

While these messages at first glance seem derogatory and detrimental,

December (18) says these mothers instruct their daughters to protect

themselves, "Make sure you don't let that nigger lie to you, don't let that

nigger get over onyou... Or if you find out he was cheatin' or something, girl

kick his... "

In the previous chapter, the girls explained that stereotypical girls

live a reality where they are forced to build emotional walls to protect

themselves (see pg. 97). On the surface, these messages seem harsh and

destructive. But, these messages probably provide girls with environmentally

reflective messages that prepare them to navigate and negotiate their options

and choices when it comes to selecting partners. As Keisha explains, "[T]hey

have gone through something and they see a lot of friends and young friends

falling for little tricks or little games that men or boys play." The stereotypical

girls' friends are equally direct; however, their message are more specific and

sexually oriented.

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Ghetto Girls: Messages from Friends

The girls in this study describe the ghetto girls' friendships message

as the primary and ultimate source of information for selecting partners.

Girlfriends provide validation, guidance and encouragement for actions,

behaviors and partner selection. Several of the girls revealed that

stereotypical girls tend to have older girlfriends who guide them through the

partner selection ritual. As Jordan (20) explains, "A lot of these girls got their

information from their friends, [Gjirls that were older than them but not as

old as their mothers." Since their girlfriends can be older, the ghetto girls

probably find their messages more credible and informed; however, the

information is often tainted. As Makie (16) explains:

Her girlfriends poison her mind. Stuff like when you get your period don't go in water cause sharks will come. If you wear a maxi pad when you go in the pool it will suck up all the water.

While Makie knows this is ridiculous, what is sad is how many girls could

actually believe these myths. Without the experience of going to a beach or

even knowing how to swim, it can make these myths believable.

These girlfriends also give them very specific and clear messages

about sex. As Cheryl (19), Zaisha (18) and Jaelin (20) discuss:

Who they have sex with. Who did this with them. Who performed oral sex on them and who didn't.

They might share with each other about details about the people they've been with, and who is the person to try; who is a good lover and who isn't. This might sound bold, but who has a sizable penis and who doesn't.

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[S]ex will get you men and money. Sex is the thing that7s most sought after by a man that you give up in exchange for something that you might want.

Cheryl and Zaisha describe how the girls pass along information about sexual

pleasure and different ways it can be achieved. Jaelin's discussion goes

beyond physical pleasure and focuses on the exchange and potential

acquisitions that sex can yield. However, Cerrissa (17) takes the conversation

even further and explains how stereotypical girls are "shy to the knowledge of

birth control...," which can lead to "... [s]ome of them having babies every

year." Cerrissa clearly understands that sexual information is important, but if

girls do not have factual protective information it can be dangerous. In other

words, the ghetto girl may be informed and savvy about the art and

acquisition of sex, but they do not have information about protecting

themselves.

Several girls talked about how stereotypical girls most likely got their

information from their own experiences. According to Rose (17), the

stereotypical girl got less factual information and more experience. Her

experience is "more of a viewfrom watching herself than from hearing about

it." Rachael (19) adds:

I would think their experience would be their best teachers. . . She might have gotten caught up in the wrong situation where she might have met a guy, and they might have taken advantage of her.

Snoopy (17) captures the type of messages these experience produce "[D]on't

let a guy play you, try to play him. Try to twist it around."

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The girls in this study describe stereotypical girls' messages and

experiences as direct, blunt and sharp. However, the girls' interviews

revealed that they understand that ghetto girls' structural realities illicit and

produce certain situations and expectations that make the stereotypical girls'

messages reflect their particular social, cultural and economic location.

The Ghetto Girls' Preference: Presentation, Action and Association

The girls in the study described how stereotypical girls' messages

revolve around material gain, sexual pleasure and not getting used in the

pursuit of either. This being the focus, the girls also described the

stereotypical girls' preference as being solely concerned with a partners'

appearance, specifically his clothes and hair. They also concentrate on his

material assets and what he can provide, including small things like a ride

from school to paying rent and providing for children.

Presentation

The girls reported that stereotypical girls were just as into and

concerned with a boys' attire as their own. Apparently, boys seem to be

equally interested in designer clothes. In fact, they wear the same designers as

adolescent girls. According to Outgoing (16), the stereotypical girls "like dudes

that wear MADDNESS, Versace, Donna Karen and all them name brands."

These are the same designers that girls said they wear. Makie (16) captures

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what most girls said, stereotypical girls like boys who wear "name brand T-

shirts, big baggy jeans, tennis shoes or some boots." The boys7 hair was just as

important as his attire.

Several of the girls revealed that boys too are concerned with their

hair. The girls reported that stereotypical girls were attracted to guys who

wore "unruly afros," "a blow out," "dreadlocks," "comrows," "bush" and

"bald heads." All of these hair styles seem to reflect a certain type of image,

that is indicative of what the ghetto girls want in a partner. The girls say that

rappers and hip hop artists wear these various styles and these artists are

supposed to personify and articulate the hard realities of inner city life.

Therefore, boys who wear these hairstyles are portraying and profiling their

allegiance and understanding of that reality. These hairstyles give boys the

appearance of being "hard," "rough" and "rugged."

Action and Association

The girls used descriptors like "thuggish," "hustler," "drug dealer,"

"high roller," "bad boy," "gangster," and "kingpin" to characterize the kinds

of boys that stereotypical girls like. The girls said these types of guys tend to

be older and have the resources that stereotypical girls want. As Mimi (20)

reports, "I just see them being with the older guys cause they have more to

give than guys our own age." Mildred (20) says the older guys"... take care of

her and her needs, monetarily and sexually." Moreover, the girls reported

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that the stereotypical girls use these older guys as sources of attention and a

means to profiling. As Cheryl (19) and Destiny (20) describe:

Some people probably think if s cute, that attention. That the person is either out selling drugs and he has all these types of cars and trucks; and he's coming and picking you up from school. It's just the attention.

These certain types of guys that a ghetto girl would find attractive. When you're running the street, certain things become the norm and become acceptable and become a priority event. So your standards and your qualifications begin to conform to the things that society says. Like when you look for a boyfriend you're looking for a drug dealer.

In addition, he needs to be able to protect her and himself. According to

Cerrissa (17) stereotypical girls want the kind of boys who will challenge other

boys who try to "holler," that is, approach his girlfriend. As she explains, "[If]

somebody tries to holler at you or whatever ... he would say 'Who you

talking to? I know you ain't talking to my girl.'" Equally important, they want

someone with a reputation.

According to Jordan (19) this reputation dictates which kind of

ghetto girl boys and young men have access to. As Jordan articulates:

The kingpin usually has to have the fly girl on his arm that looks all

good, so what usually happens is the kingpin has somebody below him

do his dirty work. So the rough-neck girl probably goes with the one

who does the dirty work."

Lisa (19) labels and describes this patriarchal hierarchy as the 'Tow-class

hustlers" that drive a hoopty,3 or the "high-class hustlers" who would buy

3 An old car that is meant to be less suspicious than a stereotypical hustler car—Lexus, truck or jeep.

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the "fly girl" all the latest fashions — while most of the girls interviewed, only

described this illegal lifestyle and the material goods it brings to stereotypical

girls. Makie (16) was the only one who really tried to describe what kind of

person he must be if he sells drugs:

[She likes] the type of male who is not sincere, someone who is not kind hearted. The type of male who doesn't care about anything. Like a very rough male. Someone with a stem heart. If these are the kinds of boys or young men that stereotypical girls like, his

actions are probably in-line with hers. According to Tanita (18), "[Y]ou might

see him being loud with her because that's how she carries herself. Or, he

might be like looking at her body because that's what she wants him to do."

Lisa (17), however, explains the kinds of things he does and how it may affect

stereotypical girls:

Smoke cigarettes, smoke marijuana, they drink and stuff like that. But that7s what most females these days are attracted to. I guess they like being on that edge a little bit. Or maybe their parents just don't approve of it and they want it.

Even with the potential material gain, sexual satisfaction, the excitement of

his lifestyle, and parental disobedience, Rose (17) says i t s not worth it.

According to Rose, "I don't see him as bringing her up, or making her a better

person, or opening her mind up. She's going to continue being closed mined

with this guy."

Basically, the girls in this study reduced the stereotypical girl's

partner selection to harsh, but realistic messages from her mother, but more

so her friends. These messages instructed girls not to be taken advantage of

and to use their bodies for material gain and physical pleasure. This resulted

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in wanting partners that could fulfill the messages. They were interested in

boys and young men who could fulfill and satisfy their material and physical

needs. The girls never discussed how church, discipline or rules affect the

stereotypical girls' partners selection. It was as if she was off to be free and

fend for herself.

The Personal Narrative: Middle Class Black Girls' Partner Selection

The girls in the study articulated that their partner selection was

dictated by communal and family expectations, including when they could

begin dating social messages and their own personal choices. Sometimes

these personal choices override and were a contradiction to the messages and

lessons they received from family and friends. Some of these girls confessed

that they dated drug dealers and hustlers, and for the same reasons that the

stereotypical girl did (see pg 162). As in the previous chapter, I will continue

to illustrate how some middle-class girls' responses mimic the ghetto girls'

partner selection. However, the majority of the girls shy away from that

"kingpin" image and prefer boys that are more in sync with the messages they

receive from family and friends.

Their Social Context

These girls tend to meet potential partners at church, school,

sporting events, parties, the mall, and clubs. It is in these arenas that

romantic friendships begin. These initial friendships are very public,

particularly for the younger girls who tend to go out in groups. According to

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the girls, most romantic friendships begin with a lot of going out, including

movies, shopping and eating out. These girls mentioned places like Friday" s,

the Cheesecake Factory and McDonalds. Clearly, the older girls could afford

more expensive places to eat.

While family and friends serve as the primary conduits for partner

selection messages, it is the females within the girls' social circles that provide

the most critical messages. Unfortunately, male messages are negative and

reduce boys to physical beings that just want to take advantage of girls. While

men are trying to protect their daughters, sisters or nieces, they taint the

images and perceptions that girls have of boys. But, that may be how their

sons, brothers or nephews are being raised. Regardless, girls do value the

opinions, suggestions and sometimes authority of the male figures in their

lives.

Their Messages: Family, Friends and Personal Choice

Parents set protective boundaries and rules. For example, Goldie

(15) says, "Families that don't have these rules, stuff happens to their

daughters. Like she might get pregnant." Older cousins and siblings provide

experience and insight too. As Outgoing's (16) cousins explained to her, ". . .

kissing leads to other things." Last, friends provided a yard stick for

appropriate behavior. As Destiny (20) remembers, "Well I was always a Miss

Goody- Goody. I never had sex with anybody in those years, or these years

too." All of these messages help girls form and develop their own personal

opinions and decisions about selecting a partner.

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Their Nfale Ms?sage$

For the younger girls, the majority of her male messages, if she got

any came from her father. These fathers were either very vocal and active in

a girl's decisions and perceptions about partners, or, they were extremely lax

and allowed the mother to handle all the decisions. For example, Makie's (16)

father told her, "[I]f a boy wants to date you, he has to date me first. If he's

going to take you out, he's got to take me on a date first," versus Destiny's (16)

father whom she describes as "laid back." According to Destiny, her father

says, "Do what you want; bye, go ahead and do it." However, fathers who are

active tend to assassinate the character of boys, based on their experience of

being one. As Lisa's (17) father tells her, "Well I was a boy. And boys do this

and boys do that. Don't ever trust a boy." There are some fathers who give

more suitable advice. As DeShawn's father-like figure tells her, "Don't get all

wrapped up into [boys] so then if you breakup there's something else. Because

that7s the way boys see it." Clearly, DeShawn's message is cautious, but it

focuses on her behavior and not boys'.

The older girls messages came from a variety of male sources. In

addition, these sources provide more direct and diverse messages. For

example, Zaloniah's (18) reported that her brother said, "[H]e don't want me

to mess with nobody unless they are geaky. You know those nerdy type

guys." Or, Robin's (19) father who still wants to talk to her about boys, even

though she's 19 years old. And Anastacia's (20) father, who told her "He

didn't have a father to show him what love was." Anastada further explains

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that her father "gets very embarrassed ... but likes to know what it is we are

doing." Or, Jordan's (19) godfather, who advised her to seek female guidance

and support. As Jordan explains, her dose cousins had gotten pregnant and

her godfather told her, "You need to see that you take the proper precautions.

Talk to your mom, talk to your aunt, talk to somebody and make sure that

doesn't happen to you." Last, Jaelin's (20) older brothers who served as role

models, showed her what to expect and what to accept. A cco rd in g to Jaelin,

"they talked to me about boys ... not just about boys but they told me about

themselves . .. that gave me a sense as to what kind of relationship I would

want." Clearly, the older girls messages were more direct and poignant.

However, the messages were still based on boys and their negative behavior.

But, the messages seem to be more helpful and useful.

These messages do guide these girls' decisions, especially if they

really trust the message transmitter. For example, if these messages are

designed to scare girls from liking boys, it some cases it worked. DeShawn

(15) says, "I didn't want to talk to no boys because it seemed like I was hearing

all of this stuff about how boys are no good." The girls also listened to people

and messages that benefit them. And Jordan (19) explains, "1 always listened

to my godfather's advice, always." Male influences are important when it

comes to girls selecting and choosing a partner. But, their messages have a

negative slant and that derogatory approach is often repeated by mothers and

other female family members.

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Their Female Messages

The vast majority of these girls' messages came from their

mothers, followed by other older family members, including grandmothers,

aunts, cousins and sisters. But the mother's message is the most vital and

critical when it comes to influencing a girl's partner selection. Regardless of

age, the relationship with ones mother dictates the level, content and context

of the messages she receives. If she has a very good relationship with her

mother, the conversations are open and fluid. As Cerrissa (17) reveals:

She's my mother, but she's more like a friend to me. She's the responsible adult and she takes care of me ... but we have more like a best friend relationship more than a mother/daughter relationship.

This type of relationship directly contradicts the mother/daughter dyad that

exists between the stereotypical girl and her mother. Tn that relationship

there is role imbalance. In this relationship, there is an equilibrium.

If the girls' mothers are knowledgeable and comfortable, the

content of the message is factual, informative, reflective and can strengthen

the bond between a mother and daughter. Rachael (19) said she and her

mother became closer when she started explaining about the feelings that can

exist between men and women. Rachel says, "She would tell me how when a

man and a woman come together it7s not just physical, it's a lot of emotions

tied in there." The context in which girls get messages from their mothers is

important too. Kamala (17) says, "My mother has always talked to me about

boys. She always tries to be flat out with me and tries to be cool." While the

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depth and context of mother/ daughter discussion are important, so is the

content.

When mothers are secretive, cold or silent it creates a void between

daughter and mother. As Zaisha (18) explains, "My mother is a secretive

person. She would not tell me anything about her life. I would beg her. She

would not tell me." Or, Kim's (19) mother, who bluntly told her "... just as

soon as you meet them, they're going to want to do it to you." Kim

challenges her mother's judgment and opts for her own direction of care and

nurturance, "That's no message for a child to hear.. . She's someone to

admire, but you don't want to adopt some of her ways." And Destiny (16)

who blames her mother's personality, for their lack of intimate

communication, " I guessOf s her personality. She doesn't like to talk about

intimate things and stuff like that. So I never get it from [my mother]."

However, mother / daughter relationships are dynamic, and change

as situations change. For example, Stephanie (20) reveals that she was not

allowed to date in high school "... so there was never any reason to discuss

who you liked or who you didn't like;" now, her mother asks about her

relationship. Stephanie says her mother keeps up with the relationship and

makes sure "... we're doing the things we should be doing." When these

mother/ daughter dyads do come together, it can create an inseparable bond.

As Scratchy (19) reveals with her story about her mother's reaction when she

told her she was a lesbian:

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Her exact words were, "It doesn't matter what your preference is cause you're my daughter and I'll always love you and whatever you do behind closed door is between you and God. And you going to have to answer to Him for the same things that I've got to answer for." . . So after that ain't shit taboo no more. I told my mother everything after that. .. She became my best friend.

While depth, content and context are essential, so was the mother's cautious

messages. It was obvious from the mothers' messages that they did not want

their daughters' partner selection to hinder, alter or interfere with future

plans. They wanted their daughters to be informed, savvy and chary. While

these messages are often seen as strict, unnecessary and old fashioned the girls

realized the importance and purpose of these messages. The cautious

messages centered around giving her practical and factual information.

The younger girls' cautious messages focused on when they were

allowed to date, what kinds of boys were acceptable, and the biological aspects

of sexuality. For example, Black Rose's (15) mother told her, "You're growing

up. Boys are going to be interested in you... But, you're not old enough to

have a boyfriend, kind of thing." Her mother acknowledged that boys are

going to like her, but that she was too young for that type of relationship.

Goldie (15) explains once she started acting mature around the age of 13, her

mother told her, "[Y]ou can't start dating until you're 16; you can't have a

boyfriend until you're 16. You can't have sex until you're married." Black

Rose's and Goldie's mothers understood that they were maturing, being

pursued and interested in boys, but they did not allow their daughters to

engage in romantic friendships until they reached a certain age.

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Mothers were also cautious about whom their daughters dated.

Michelle (16) says her mother describes boys who wear comrows and baggy

clothes as "no good." She warns, "Michelle don't bring nothin like that to my

house." Outgoing's (16) says her mother is really "in the church" and is

against her relationship with 19 year-old Tori. Outgoing reveals, "She's just

paranoid with everything, especially when it comes down to me." These

mothers have certain assumptions about boys who wear comrows and who

are older, and voice their opinion about those types of boys.

The girls reported that their mothers also provided biological and

practical information about sex and its consequences. For example, Snoopy

(17) talked about how her mother drew her and her twin sister a diagram.

According to Snoopy, her mother wanted them to make a wise decision.

Snoopy said, "She was trying to warn us or say you know make the right

decision. Wait until you're older and stuff like that." Or, Keisha (17) whose

mother talked to her very early and told her everything. Keisha explains,

"She talked to me really early. I came to school knowing about sex." She

further explained, "I live in a house full of women and you can't live in a

house full of women and not know about sex." Clearly, these mothers

wanted their daughters to be informed. They talked to these girls early and

even provided easy-to-remember diagrams.

The older girls cautious messages center around morality,

independence and safe sex. It was interesting how many girls used die word

"moral" to describe the kind of messages their mothers delivered. As the

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girls reported, morality was more than personal behavior, it included

assumptions and implications of morality, b'or example, they quantified

morality as tangibles like education and resourcefulness. As Lisa explains,

"She really likes my boyfriend now because he goes to college. He has a good

family, good morals. He is very ambitious." So, morality was not just about

their daughter's behavior but their partners behaviors and actions too.

Their morality discussions were interrelated with the mothers7

cautious messages about being independent. They warned their daughters

about taking gifts, but also told them to find someone who is financially

stable. On one hand, they want their daughters to be independent but urge

them to find a partner to support that independence. Juanita's (18) mother

told her, /7[M]ake sure a man has his financial situation together. Don't get

involved with no cheap man." And Nikky's (19) mother who said, " Don't

have them buying you everything. Don't depend on [a boy] because when

you depend on them they think they own you." Clearly, mothers demand

that their daughters maintain their independence and the freedom it affords.

At the same time, they urge their daughters to find someone they can depend

on if necessary.

And last, the older girls' mothers were very open and honest about

the importance of safe sex. Anastada's (20) reports that her mother, who is a

registered nurse, "showed us how to put a condom on a cucumber." While

Jordan's (19) mother's religious beliefs and prayers did not stop her daughter

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from having sex, she wanted her to be safe and talked to her about it. Jordan's

mother told her:

I know you might not feel comfortable telling m e... I wish that you would so we could talk about it, but my first and foremost concern is to make sure you don't get a disease and you don't get pregnant. You have your Kaiser card. So you can make your own appointment. Be responsible and go.

Again, it was not as if mothers were encouraging their daughters to have sex,

but if they were going to be active, they had to know how to protect

themselves. The main objective of these cautious messages was to protect

their daughters and make sure they are informed.

As you can see, as girls mature the messages from their mothers

change. The younger girls' cautious messages were designed to monitor and

prepare girls for romantic friendships, and the older girls' cautious messages

were designed to promote responsible sexual and personal behavior and

choosing a partner who also advocates those behaviors. These messages,

filtered through a particular depth, context and content, are navigated

through the mother/daughter dyad. While the mothers are the primary

source of partner selection information, these girls also value aunts, sisters,

cousins and grandmothers. Their messages are just as open and generally

complement and/or enhance the message that the mothers are giving.

As Cheryl's (19) older sister warned, "[Djon't ever depend on a male

as far as materialistic things that you may need. Because when you do that iPs

bound to come back to you." Or, Black Rose's (15) older sister, who urges her

to avoid "people who are up to nothing and who are disrespectful. People

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who don't care about anything." And, Cerrissa's (17) grandmother who told

her, .. When you're ready to have sex come to [me]... I know you're going

to get those feelings and you can't control it." However, these female

relatives can also provide contradictory messages and expectations. For

example, when DeShawn's (15) older cousin skipped bible study to spend time

with her boyfriend. She told DeShawn, "I was with my boyfriend and we

went out and he gave me this, that and the other.. . [W]hen you grow up

don't you do that." DeShawn did indicate that her cousin's message and

actions wrere not in sync; therefore, she was not the best source of

information. Jaelin's (20) cousin taught her how to be deceptive in an

attempt to present herself as pure:

She taught me how to fool somebody and make them think that I was still a virgin. . . You get in a tub; fill it up to your hip and sit down with vinegar and salt. It's kinda crazy. But inegar is a douche. .. The salt swells up your lips. Not that you notice, but it swells up to the point where your hole kind of gets small. And you know that you contract and constrict in water. It kind of makes the hole narrow as well. In actuality you don't bleed, bleed. It7s just a little because it7s kind of a forceful thing.

Jaelin's willingness to do this illustrates the level at which these girls trust

their female relatives' advice. It also points to the lengths that girls w'ill go

through to preserve their virgin status. For Jaelin, who is a Muslim, this is

particularly important — even though she and her boyfriend were going to

actively go against the teachings of Islam and have sex. She was willing to go

through tliis deceptive salt-and-vinegar process to present herself to her

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boyfriend as if it were their wedding night. Girlfriends are also a vital source

of information for partner selection.

The younger girls' interviews supported the older girls' report

about how their conversations with girlfriends changed as they got older.

When December (18) was 13, she said she and her girlfriends, "[D]idn't really

talk about any tiling in general. Nothing like sex, just oh he's cute. At that

age, to me it was a game. How many boys can you get." Now, December says

she and her girlfriends talk on a "higher level." As she describes, "[W]e talk

about different problems or different aspects of the relationship and stuff like

that."

The girls' interviews revealed that the older they got, the more

complex their dialogue and issues. The conversations moved from is he a

"good dancer," "good dresser," "cute" and "funny, " to explicit conversations

about relationships and sex. As Zaisha (18) explains, "I was close with one

girl. I used to tell her all kinds of detail. I would tell her what happened first;

what happened next; what he did; what I did." Ironically, this is exactly what

she said about the ghetto girls and their conversations with friends (see pg x).

Many of the girls talked about providing information, clarification

and advice to their friends. Girls who received open messages were willing to

share what they knew with girls who didn't get information or incorrect

information. As Keisha (17) explains:

They would ask me questions because their mother didn't answer them. So, I would answer them. I would say, Oh your mother didn't tell you that. My mother told me and I'll tell you.

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Makie (16) is more concerned with offering guidance and advice:

What I realized is that females fall in love with a male much faster. Because when you have sex with a person from a female's perspective — and females never think about this — what it is, you have someone coming inside of you. You're feeling the penetration. They're not. And you have someone coming inside you, entering into your person, therefore, you're going to fall in love with them faster. And its fun and games for them, but for you i t s like your whole world has been opened up by this one person. And females never realize that and that's why they're, "I think I love him." And I'm like, what is wrong with your brain.

Gearly, Makie's experiences and understanding about sex are very complex.

She warns her friends that the physiology of sex is directly linked to the

emotional aspects, and boys do not have the same connection. While

messages from families and friends are essential, so are the girls' personal

views, opinions and actions.

Their Personal Choices

Hven though Black Rose (15) is not allowed to date until she turns

17, she says:

I think I'm emotionally ready. I'm mentally ready. I'm mature enough. I know not to do anything stupid... Basically, I define being stupid if you're having sex when you're 14 and 15. . . For me, it would be 17 when you can actually think about that. But when you're young like this I don't think you should.

While Black Rose may see herself as ready for dating; she is not ready for a

sexual relationship and views it as a stupid act for a girl her age. Chandler

(16) also sees herself as mature because of her experiences. As Chandler

explains:

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If s like, I think that I'm real knowledgeable for my age whatever cause I've been through a lot of things young women twice my age haven't yet to go through. . . 1 wouldn't wish all them pains on nobody in the world.

When I asked Chandler for an example of what she meant, she said:

... As relationships with guys and stuff like that, certain situations like real personal situations that you go through with males. And they make it like you don't want to see anymore males.

Although Cerrissa's (17) grandmother acknowledges she's "going to get those

feelings," Cerrissa exclaims, "[Tjhat doesn't mean that I want to!" Although,

her grandmother acknowledges sexual desires, Cerrissa argues she does not

have to experience that. Lisa (18) says her past experiences have made her

smart. When she was younger boys did not pay attention to her and her

girlfriends because she was overweight and they had freckles. Lisa says, now

that they have grown into their freckles and weight, "[W]e still smart. Just

because the boys were actually trying to pay attention to us we didn't go out

there into that." Scratchy's (19) opinions were being formed based on her

experiences and understanding of the various terms used to describe lesbians.

As Scratchy explained:

Cause at that time, dyke was like this bald headed girl with no hair, walking around saying she has a dick. Dyke was just real harsh. Like bull-dagger. Don't that sound like somebody who wants to hurt you. That don't sound like a gay person. Thaf s a weapon.

Jaelin (20) argues that her partner selection decisions center around her

knowledge of black males:

I think I know males more than they know themselves, especially in relationships. Not only in their own struggle but in terms of them relating to females and stuff like that.

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Not only are messages from family and friends influential and crucial, but

how girls interpret those messages to form their own opinions and

assumptions are equally important. In fact, their personal choices can be in

opposition to what their families and friends advise, suggest and expect.

Their Preference: Presentation, Action and Association

When it comes to the girls' partner selection, their interests and

preference center around a boy's physical appearance, his personality and his

future potential. Similar to the dominant script, the girls in this study like

boys who present themselves with authority and have a strong sense of self.

As Michelle (16) exclaims, "Don't come up to me acting silly. Don't

procrastinate. If you got something to say, just say it." However, what was

extremely different from their report on the stereotypical girl, is the emphasis

of the boys' personalities when defining if he was cute or not. This was the

same rational the girls used when I questioned them about their own physical

beauty. When it comes to describing themselves and a partner's physical

attributes, they tend to stress how a personality can enhance or diminish

looks. As Outgoing (16) articulates:

You know a dude who is basically cute, but when you see how they talk and how they act you be like, eew you ugly. That will make a person ugly how they act.

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EE.es.ejita.tiaa

While a boy's personality is essential, the girls did outline

particular physical attributes they found appealing. The girls mentioned

"expressive eyes," "his smile," "his walk," and "his height;" several girls

discussed his hue and hair. Most of the girls reported that they liked dark-

skinned boys. As Mimi (20) explains:

He may not be handsome to someone else, but he is to me. I think because he's dark-skinned. .. And I love dark-skin. So almost anyone who is dark skinned is beautiful to me.

Jaelin (20) takes this skin preference further and explains how her appeal to

dark skin goes beyond her, but her desire for her kids:

I usually like people who are darker than me. I mean it sounds very crazy. But to be blunt, I want my kids to have some color. I don't want them as pale as I am or even as pale as my mother.

However, not all girls were attracted to dark skin and some applauded the

wide range of hues that black people can produce. As Zaloniah (18) and

Michelle (16) explain:

One thing that I don't like about him is that he is dark. I don't like dark skin guys. .. Me and my cousin had so many experience with dark skin guys just being psycho crazy.

When you've got African Americans or Blacks, you've got such a variety. Some of them light skin, some of them caramel, some are chocolate, ooh.

Similar to the stereotypical girl and opposite to their parents'

preferences, these girls are attracted to boys with a lot of hair. As Tree (17)

explains, "I tend to fall for guys with a lot of hair.... They may have braids or

dreadlocks or whatever." Destiny (16) describes the variety of styles her

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partner wears, "If s not long, but if s like a bush, I guess you can say. And he

comrows it every once in a while." For Elizabeth (18), regardless if the boy is

black or white, she prefers long hair: "Black guys, I love dreads or bald heads.

White guys kinda like long hair too... Not too long, not like down the back

with a head band and all." However, not all girls are attracted to this

"rugged" look. When Lisa (17) described her boyfriend she said, "He's not

that rugged bush, nappy, dirty looking stuff. He's clean cut, short hair."

Stephanie's desire combines most girls' descriptions of hue and hair

preference, "I like men with dreads and I like dark-skinned men." However,

even with the skin and hair choices, a partner's personality is the most

critical.

Action

Boys actions and personality directly affected girls' preferences and

choices. As outlined above, his personality could outweigh his looks. To

describe their boyfriends or the kind of boyfriend they would want, the girls

used descriptors like "nice," "funny," "respectful," "a good listener," "caring,"

"stable," and "goal oriented." As Goldie (15), Lisa (17), Tanita (18), Zaisha (18)

and Jordan (19) illustrate:

Funny, he's got to be funny and a nice personality. Overall can't be mean or have a bad reputation. . . Good spirited.

I'd rather have a boyfriend that was willing to be my friend first. .. I talked to him for the whole summer and I knew him for a whole year. He was my friend first, so I respected that. . . And he likes to listen to me

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talk... He likes to listen to me be goofy... I don't have to play a role for him. I'm just Lisa.

The way he was dressed, like business attire. Like he was coming from work and actually he was. And like the way he talked to me wasn't like a .. . he wasn't overly like ... some guys are kind of aggressive and you know what they want already.

He was somebody understanding.... So, I really like, he would listen to me and give me advice. And I really needed a friend. .. One main thing that drew me to him was he went to college. And 1 really wanted an educated person. You know they have a higher standard and goals. He reminds me a lot of my father... He is super smart. . . He loves the Lord, that's important to me... He can be a good listener.

The majority of the girls' partners worked or attended school. And

others had ambitions and dreams. As Destiny (16) describes her partners:

I guess his dream-it's not a goal, its a dream, if s something he wants to do-he wants to travel around the world and see everything and experience everything. Go to different countries and see how they live and stuff like that.

Jordan's (19) partner also has a double major in political science and CLEEG

(communications, legal institutions, economics and government). And,

DeShawn's (15) ex-partner wants to follow in his parents footsteps and join

the Air Force, while , Jaelin's (20) partner is a financial consultant for the

Baltimore Ravens.

However, there were girls who chose partners who used

alternative means to obtain and achieve success. As Nikky (19) describes:

The last couple of relationships that I've been in, neither of them graduate from high school. And they were all taking about I'm going to get my CED or whatever.

What is interesting is how Chandler (16) and Kim (19) rationalize their choice

to partner with hustlers and explain how this is a common phenomenon.

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According to Chandler, a lot of boys sell drugs and girls expect it. Kim says

these guys give when you want more than what your parents or yourself can

provide. As Chandler and Kim explain:

He doesn't do it as much since he's with me and he don't do it around me. I just know he's doing what he got to do right now and it7s not going to be like for the rest of his life. And he doesn't do it all the time because he is working. He got the good paying job so he don't do it all the time. It's just like if he needs some money real quick he will just do it. I mean it's a lot, most guys out here, that7s what they do. It's nothing like you'll be surprised I'm not going to say it's normal cause you got some guys that don't. They just work.

He's stability, maybe that's wrong... Like whatever I need he can provide. That comes with him being older... I'm trying to distance myself away from him, but yet 1 go to him and be like I need this or 1 need that. So it's like I don't want to give that part of it u p.. . My friend, tier's is exactly the same... He sells drugs. He provides for her — not provides for her. But like she can go to him and ask him for stuff.

What is important to note is that both Chandler's and Kim's partner selection

reflects their own descriptions of being "kinda like ghetto girls" (see pg. 125).

While Chandler attends Catholic school and Kim attends AU and plans to be

a lawyer, they both chose partners who are potentially harmful and

dangerous. But, their desire for material wants and the prevalence of guys

who hustle provides the rationale for them to select and choose "thuggish

boys."

The girls in the study are bombarded with a variety of messages

from a variety of sources. While the source of the message is essential, so is

the message; how it is delivered; and, the relationship between the message

transmitter and the receiver of the message. Even with all this

communication and expectation, the girls make it clear that they make the

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final decision about their partner selection. This may include lying, hiding or

just being defiant. But the majority of the girls heed the guidance and advice

they receive and select partners who are not in opposition to black middle-

class values. As Taniia describes:

I like guys who are decent. .. I don't like guys who smoke marijuana and drink. I hate that. I find it unattractive. I like guys who speak well, keeps his self looking nice. Keeps his hair cut. You know, clean.

Partner Selection: Assessing the Dominant Script and the Personal Narrative

The girls in this study described the ghetto girl's partner selection as

being solely concerned with physical pleasure and material gain. In other

words, she was not concerned with future potential, unless it could benefit

her. This description directly mirrors the overarching, monolithic stereotype

that black teenage girls are devoid of caring and loving feelings and only

concentrate on physical objects and material goods.

Even more telling, is how the girls seem to describe this

phenomenon as generational. That is, the ghetto girls' mothers and others in

their social network champion and encourage this type of pursuit. According

to the girls in this study, this singular, "tongue of fire" approach forces the

stereotypical girls to adopt and engage in decisions that are only guided by

ideas of physical and material comfort. Again, the messages that ghetto girls

receive are not about trust, honesty, respect and love, but acquisition, sexual

conquest and material gain. Now, the girls do not directly blame the ghetto

girls for these harsh and calculated choices, but see their environment and its

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mores, norms and customs as providing the framework, blueprint and guide

to pursuing and establishing romantic friendships.

Through their personal narratives, it is vividly clear that the girls

in this study employ a variety of strategies when considering a partner. It is

the confluence of social controls and expectations, family messages, and social

networks. These custodial influences help guide girls to think critically about

how, why and whom they choose. Black middle-class girls are given

boundaries and parameters that emphasize choosing a partner who supports

black middle-class values. The majority of the girls reported that they are

expected to and generally choose partners similar to themselves - that is, they

choose partners that are supportive, caring, smart, upwardly mobile, and

ambitious. Their messages are guided by feelings and future potential, not

material gain and physical satisfaction.

However when examined deeply, the messages that stereotypical girls

receive and that the middle-class black girls get are not that different. But, the

environmental context and how the messages are delivered make them

appear in vast opposition. For example, while the ghetto girls are told to get a

guy who has money, middle-class girls are urged to pursue boys who have

potential and ambition. This is not just about the boys' character and ability,

but about the girls choosing someone who can add to their potential success.

As. Juanita's (19) mother told her, "[M]ake sure a man has his financial

situation together."

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What about the message of physical pleasure? The stereotypical girl may

hear things like, "Make sure you get yours." Middie-class black girls,

however, are taught to find someone who is respectful and caring — that is,

someone who will not violate you, but facilitate a relationship that also

involves your feelings. These ideas and messages are not diametrically

opposed. It is simply that delivery of these ideas and messages are altered and

transformed to situate and to be in accord with the economic, social and

cultured realities of each girls' environment. Again, middle-class and

stereotypical black girls have a relational existence.

What really separates these two girls are their economic positions

and situations. Middle-class privileges allow these girls to pursue partners

from a different position. That is, the potential relationship does not need to

be based on material acquisition and sexual conquest. But, the detriments of

poverty create a situation where stereotypical girls must position themselves

a certain way when choosing their partners. Regardless of the situation or

position, both girls want their needs and desires fulfilled. How that is

actualized is personal, social, economical and environmental. In other

words, middle-class black girls' partner selection tends to directly mirror their

social, cultural and class position within the black community.

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THE DOMINANT SCRIPT AND PERSONAL NARRATIVES:

UNDERSTANDING THE ROMANTIC FRIENDSHIPS

OF MIDDLE-CLASS BLACK GIRLS

This chapter explores the incidents and occurrences that

middle-class black girls experience within romantic friendships.

Specifically, it will outline how girls label and define romance, the

complex situations they experience and how they feel about those

occurrences. I first discuss how the focus group respondents define and

rank the various types of romantic friendships. I will then address

where and how romantic friends spend their time. That discussion will

be followed by a description of how middle-class black girls describe the

ghetto girl's romantic friendship; then I will explore how they define

their own romantic friendships. Finally, I will analyze the relationship

between the respondents' description of the stereotypical girl's romantic

friendships and their own.

Romantic Friendships: Focus Group Respondents Define and Describe What and Where Things Happen

187

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For middle-class black girls there are different degrees of romantic

friendship. Each has its own meaning and definition. The level and

meaning of these romantic friendships change as girls age.

The ideas and concepts of romance are expressed along a continuum

that ranges from receiving tangible items such as flowers and candy to

unexpected surprises to open and honest communication. The focus

group respondents also revealed that what they experience depends on

the depth of the friendship and the material items within the

friendship, such as access to cars and money. They also explained that

where they experience romantic friendships depends on the length and

depth of the romantic friendship. As explained in chapters two and five,

most romantic friendships begin with a lot of going out (i.e. socializing

outside the family, such as the movies or mall). However, as the

romantic friendship matures, the couple tends to spend more time in

each other's homes.

Defining and Labeling Romantic Friendships

To understand the varied experiences that occur within

middle-class black adolescent romantic friendships, it is critical to

articulate how the girls classify and categorize romantic friendships. The

focus group respondents described and tagged four different levels of

romantic friendship: "boo," "talking," "messing with" and "boyfriend."

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First, "boo" is used when the romantic friendship has no

concrete definition or future plans. As one girls from AU explains, "Boo

can be anybody. Boo equals no label, but there is some kind of attraction.

An undefined relationship, only the two people know what it means."

According to the girls in Bowie, boys use this term more often and more

freely. As one girl described,

Guys like say it out in the open... "That's my boo right there if they are like out with their friends or something."

Obviously, the label "boo" is for casual and/or undefined relationships.

In fact, one girl from HU said that the term "boo" keeps her out of

trouble, because if there are no labels and expectations she is free to keep

her options and opportunities open, while still expressing and interest.

Second is the term "talking." When middle-class adolescent

black girls are "talking" to someone they have an interest, but they are

not intimate. As one girl from HU explained, ". . . going out and getting

to know each other, but i t s not serious yet." Talking indicates that there

is potential and mutual interest in exploring the possibility of a more

substantial romantic friendship.

Third is the term "messing with." The focus group

respondents said that this term implies a sexual relationship but not a

commitment. As one girl from AU explained, "It may be sexual, but

we're not boyfriend and girlfriend yet either." Another AU student said,

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"It's like a transition between like dating and boyfriend/' However, girls

from HU said that when you're messing with somebody the relationship

is physical and probably will not transition into a serious relationship.

They explain, .. messing with is purely sexual, that's all."

Fourth is the term "boyfriend." When you use this term it is

describing a permanent one-on-one relationship. The girls say the term

boyfriend implies a sexual relationship. However, some of the girls felt

this label was too immature. As one girl from AU articulates,

The word boyfriend i t s like . . . I don't know. It seems like you're a little kid. Like at 18 why should you be messing with boys any?

Some of the girls said they do not use the term boyfriend, but "my man."

However, several of the girls said that when they introduce their

boyfriends to their families they use the term "friend." As one girl from

Bowie explains,

.. . when you say this is my boyfriend, the first thing that comes to mind is sex and love.. . it's like you're formally admitting it.

Girls from HU agreed with this. As one girl explained, " I don't use the

term boyfriend. I mean it seems to belittle the relationship." When it is

a committed relationship, the girls use the term "boyfriend" but, if they

are introducing their boyfriend to family members, they use the term

"friend." However, boys seem to question this respect. For example,

one girl from Bowie explained that when she took her friend Adam to

meet her aunt and grandmother he questioned her for introducing him

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as her friend. She had to explain that . . they know what I'm trying to

say, but you don't say it."

Clearly, there are different kinds of relationships and each has

a particular label. As girls mature and/or the nature of the romantic

friendship changes, so does the label. These girls have romantic

friendships that range from a simple interest to a serious, sexual

committed monogamous relationship. Their concept of and experiences

with romance are just as varied.

Definitions and Experiences of Romance

I asked the girls to define romance and share a romantic

experience. All of the focus group respondents agreed that romance

does not have to be sexual. However, they all agreed that romance is

special. As girls from AU, Bowie and HU explain:

It's like special things that take a certain type of initiative.

It's not even what you're doing or where you are, it's how you feel about a certain person that makes you have a romantic feeling.

When he gives you, or she, however you go .. . gives you attention when it7s not necessarily expected. It's an unexpected.

The girls do not reduce romance to heterosexual relationships, but see it

as special, unexpected feelings that may or may not be sexual. They also

view romance as tangible items, special acts and gestures. These items

and acts differ in depth and scope. In other words, some girls' romantic

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experiences reflect creativity and time, while others are simply gifts for

the occasion, for example, birthdays and Valentine's Day. As girls from

AU, Bowie and HU articulate:

He read Kahili Gibran with Coltran in the background on my answering machine.

We had been talking for a while but we wasn't messing with each other... So I asked him to go to the prom. And he said yeah... I got a little kiss on my cheek. I just thought that was so special.

For Valentine's Day he made me a card instead of buying one... He printed them out on different colored paper.

While romance seems to always be special and nice, it is not

always honest. As one girl from Bowie confesses:

I knew that he liked me and he knew that I liked him back even though he had a girlfriend. We just like walked around Adventure World all day holding hands and I thought that was romantic.

This girl admits that she knew he had a girlfriend, but the romantic

experience of holding hands at Adventure World outweighed his

relationship status.

Romance may be tangible items and/or special gestures; for

example, one AU student said romance was, "putting my voice on his

answer machine." Romance can also be very personal and specific, as

one Bowie girl describes: "He had braids and he shaved all his hair off. I

was like oh ... I was so sysed. That was romantic."

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Regardless of the depth and context of the romance, girls were

strong in their conviction that romance did not have to be sexual, but it

could lead to that. One HU student's definition seems to capture the

meaning of middle-class black adolescent romance:

Romance is the point between your first kiss and the first time y'all make love.

Where and How Romantic Friendships Are Experienced

Where middle-class adolescent girls experience romantic

friendships depends on the nature of the relationship. As previously

explained, girls spend time hanging-out; however, as the relationship

evolves, more time is spent at each other's homes. As one girl from AU

explains:

.. . when you're comfortable with each other, you're at home. Whereas kind of when your first start interacting with him you tend to be more public.

When girls are "out," the most popular locations are the mall

and eating out. However, the girls did mention other outings such as

cultural events, golf, going to the beach, the zoo and the museum.

While the girls said the depth of the relationship dictates where they

experience romantic friendships, HU girls discuss how time, money and

exposure also determine where they experience these relationships:

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If I'm in the house it's not because I want to. It's because I'm just a student and I can't afford to . .. I'm not asking every time we go out for him to pay for m e... I would like to go out more because I'm not a house person.

Some guys think about stuff to do, but then if s like because you have other stuff to do you might not have the time.

... if you want things from them, courting things, like dating, take me out, spend time with me, it all comes down to money. And then this issue of you're always wanting to spend money ... it becomes a whole other issue.

Clearly, where girls experience romantic friendships is more than the

nature of the relationship. The girls also explain that contemporary

black adolescent culture sometimes limits where these romantic

friendships are experienced:

Our generation's definitions of dating, of courting have changed over the years... [You] have to demand that they take you on a picnic, to the beach, for a hike... Now we accept the fact like we'll just sit in the house.

I think it has to do with our culture.. . Black females are limited in what they choose to do. I don't go skiing, that7s what white people do. I don't do this because that's what white people do. They are limited in their thinking of what they allow themselves to do.

The depth of the relationship, resources and imagination all

influence where girls experience romantic friendships. When the

friendship is relegated to the home a variety of activities occur. These

activities include "sitting on the couch, talking, playing video games,"

"smoking weed," "doing homework," or "fornicating." Regardless of

the activity, these home-bound relationships are about closeness and

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familiarity. As one Bowie girl explains and the group agreed, " ... you

get use to it because they become like family." However, not all girls

want this constant or intense type of friendship. Another girl argued,

"It's just me personally. .. After a while you'll be like come on now, give

me some space." Referring to her peers' comment, she polls the other

group members, "Don't your family get on your nerves sometime?"

These girls experience romantic friendships in a variety of

locations and settings. These locations and occurrences develop and

change as the relationship matures. The girls confess that romantic

friendships can be limited by adolescent black culture because they avoid

activities that are considered "white." These relationships transition

from public to private, and this transition is dictated by resources and

creativity. That is, the couple's transition depends on their money, time

and if they are inhibited by racial boundaries.

The Dominant Script: Ghetto Girls' Romantic Friendship Experiences

In chapter five, the girls reported that ghetto girls are attracted to

"hustlers" and "kingpins." In this chapter, they describe how ghetto

girls experience romantic friendships with these kinds of boys and

young men. As the girls reported, the ghetto girls' partners tend to be

older and have their own apartments. Therefore, their romantic

experiences are often "unsupervised." In chapter five, the girls also

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described how sex and its reward are important to ghettos girls. With

this as a primary concern, the girls reported that these romantic

friendship only involve superficial activities such as shopping, the

movies, eating out and having sex.

Ghetto Girls: Where and How They Experience Romantic Friendships

The majority of the girls reported that ghetto girls romantic

friendships tend to be isolated in each other's homes, more often his

apartment. As Geisha (17) explains, "They are usually at her house,

unless they're going to have sex and it's usually his house." Rachael

further explains:

I guess the stereotypical man that a ghetto girl would like, would probably most likely be on his own. .. Have his own apartment, have his own car, his own money. Things like that.. . They probably end up sleeping together.

Obviously, the ghetto girl's romantic friendship has key resources —

money and cars. Also, her activities are unsupervised so she is free to

experience a variety of activities. As Mimi (20) describes:

They have money to spend. They're like real adventurous. They just have fun. I know they do. They don't care about money. .. .So they probably do all kinds of fun stuff that I would want to do.

Cerrissa (17) said that "she goes everywhere and probably does

everything he wants her to do." When T asked Cerrissa what he would

want her to do, she was hesitant in her response, but finally said, "I feel

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so awkward saying it. She'll probably suck his joint." According to

Zaisha (18), this sexual activity is not only for private consumption, but

public display. Zaisha describes this sexual profiling as:

I see her doing a lot of things in public. Things for people to see. I see her throwing her body on him out in the street. Kissing him in a certain m anner... I see her getting into it so everybody. .. so she can grab attention.

While the majority of the girls casually and nonchalantly

discussed the stereotypical girl's sexuality, Destiny (16) did not see it the

same way. She says, "She might be real intimate, sexually active. . . to

avoid loneliness and [her] heart is being fulfilled because that person is

going with you at moment." Considering how the girls described the

stereotypical girls environment, she may be looking to others for

personal fulfillment.

Not all the girls spend their time isolated in the home.

According to Jordan, " ... the fly girl has to go to [BET] Sound Stage. She

has to go shopping before they go eat." Versus the rough-neck girl:

"They smoke weed and drink with their men. That's their bonding

experience." When the stereotypical girl does go out, she generally goes

to the movies, parties, the GO-GO and clubs. Jasmyne (17) admits that

she does the same kind of things, but was clear to point-out that she does

them in different locations. As Jasmyne explains:

The ghetto girl might go to Rivertown and check out a flick. .. It's in Maryland. But i t s near southeast.. .We go to Wheaton, i t s just

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as ghetto but it's like newer so i t s cleaner, like City Place ... [The ghetto girl] might go to Burger King or Checkers. My friends and I might to Ruby Tuesday's or the Cheese Cake Factory.

Clearly, middle-class black girls and ghetto girls enjoy the same

kind of romantic friendship activities; however, where these activities

take place separates them. This is similar to their discussion about their

sexual self-image. While they like the same kinds of hair styles and

clothes, the middle-class black girls can afford a better quality. For

example, they go the cleaner, newer movie theaters and eat out at "sit-

down restaurants."

Ghetto Girls: Time and Romantic Friendships

When I questioned the girls about the amount of time the

stereotypical girl spent with her boyfriend, they described a situation

where there was not a lot of time because he was a hustler and had more

than one girlfriend. As Zaloniah (18) explains,

Cause you know a guy out there hustling, they aren't going to want nobody around him. You know he trying to make the sell so he can get the money.

Outgoing (16) says,

Cause like most of them that are like hustling, have more than just that girl. They probably have other girls everywhere. It's like all their time don't be with that one girl.

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But, Outgoing also argues that if the stereotypical girl is smart, she

is doing her own thing too. "If she's not one of them kind of dumb girls

.. . she has like other dudes than him. When she's not with him, then

she's probably with another one."

Zaisha (18) explains that these girls have time for these varied

romantic friendships because that is her priority:

She spends a lot time .. . even though she's in school, school is not her priority. She's not really interested in her school work... She is not interested in doing positive things... The only thing to do is hang out with your boyfriend.

According to Jordan (19), the fly girl, " ... is pretty demanding.

She wants to know where he is or she's constantly paging him. The fly

girl has got to know... They say things like, 'I got to page my money or

car, I got to page my ride.'" The rough-neck is much more laid back.

Jordan says, ". .. they probably related more on a friend level. .. so they

probably like actually enjoy spending time together." Jordan's

discussion points to the fact that quality of time is critical. It is one thing

to be together, but it was another to "actually enjoy spending time

together." But if stereotypical girls are only interested in material gain

and sexual pleasure, enjoying each other is relative and may not require

quality.

The girls in this study describe romantic friendships that are

unsupervised and sexual. These friendships have resources like cars

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and money because the boys are older and/or they hustle. The time they

spend together is limited because the stereotypical girls' romantic

friendships are not monogamous. Since this is their priority, they have

a lot of time for boys. The stereotypical girl attends school, but she is not

interested in it or other positive activities. Therefore, stereotypical girls

experience romantic friendships that are sexual, short-lived and based

on material acquisitions like shopping and expensive meals.

The Personal Narrative: Middle-Class Black Girls' Romantic Friendship Experiences

The girls is this study describe and articulate some very

serious, emotional and physical experiences. These relationships are

intense and complex. Much of the intensity and complexity has to deal

with the interplay of what they say they want in a partner - - someone

who is nice, dependable and honest - - and the reality of how boys really

treat them. These relationships can flux between open and honest

communication to silence and dishonesty. Also, serious decisions occur

within these relationships. These situations and dilemmas include

breaking-up, maintaining virginity, continuing abstinence, cheating,

dealing with sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy. Clearly, these

are all emotional experiences that have varied effects and consequences

for middle-class black girls. However, some of these romantic

friendships were stable and enduring, reflecting what ideal equalitarian

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relationships should be like. These situations are extremely complex

when the age, maturity and social expectations of these girls are

considered.

Their Social Context

Most of the girls in the study now have, or at some point had

boyfriends — or at least "talked" to someone with or without their

parents permission. However, these girls' families are usually involved

in these romantic friendships and often dictate where and how things

happen. For the girls in this study, romantic friendships are a natural

part of their social context. Not only do these girls spend time "group

dating," but even when they are in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship

they still spend a lot of time together. As Black JRose (15) and Rose (17)

explain:

.. . two of my friends, two of their friends go out. Cause a lot of times I meet boyfriends through friends. So their friends are the same as my friends, so it works out.

. . . we see each other like after every period just about. We share a locker... almost every day of the week. Whether if s somebody drives by and says h i... Friday nights or Saturday nights.

Older girls combine spending time with work, school and other

responsibilities. As Destiny (20) describes:

. .. my dorm was like around the comer from his. So we would like study together, go to church together. We saw each other every day. He would bring me back and forth to work.

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While spending time together as frequently as possible is

important to these middle-class black girls, so are telephone

conversations. Regardless of age, these couples spend a vast amount of

time using the phone. Long-distance calls do not hinder or interfere

with this time on the telephone. For example. Destiny (20) says that

since her boyfriend moved to New York, they still spend about two

hours a day on the phone. However, they use work time and resources

to afford these long-distance conversations. The time spent talking on

the phone ranged from very little time because she prefers^ face-to-face

dialogue to almost 30 hours per week. This 30 hours per week is more

time than Cerrissa (17) who talks to both her friends — Little Thomas

and Big Thomas. Juanita (18), Michelle (16) and Cerrissa (17) explain:

... I'm really big on intimacy. People think that7s strange because I don't like to talk about personal issues over the phone... I like to be as intimate as possible... See their reactions to what you're saying.

All day long. When I get home from school, two hours on the phone. And then I do my homework for the next three hours. And then we just get on the phone for the rest of the night.. . Tike maybe 6:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m.

It is important to note that Michelle (16) said her homework does come

first, and sometimes her boyfriend helps her with her homework over

the phone, especially if it's math. Cerrissa (17) tends to have late-night

to pre-dawn conversations:

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Last night I called Big Thomas at 12:00 a.m. and we got off at 4:00 a.m. Normally it is 2:00 a.m. . .With Little Thomas, he's usually "I'm sleepy — can I go to sleep?"... So we only spend 45 minutes to an hour every day.

These late-night conversations are also common for girls and

Boys who have phone restrictions and rules. Tor example, Cairo's (16)

boyfriend is not allowed to talk to girls on the phone, since he comes

from a traditional Muslim family. As Cairo confesses:

... Probably about three or four hours. We talk at night though... He's not really allowed to talk to girls on the phone. So he like wakes up late and calls me.

Snoopy7 s (17) boyfriend had to rebel and negotiate to get longer phone

privileges:

... he has to get off at 11:00 p.m. every night. That's his mom's rule. . . At first he was a little annoyed so he broke it a few times. But he got punished... He got in trouble for a week. So then it got moved to 11:00 p.m., at first it was 10:30 p.m. That was really bad. But, we don't die if we go a night without talking because it's happened.

Rachael (19) says, "Like times we would talk on the phone for the

longest time and we wouldn't even know the time went by." She

reveals that romantic friends are oblivious to the time, and it

subconsciously escapes them. Phone conversations are such an inherent

part of these romantic friendships that regardless of physical proximity

they still spend a lot of time via the telephone. Jordan (19) lives next

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door to her boyfriend and could easily see him, but they also experience

this plione time warp:

He's right next door at the dorm. People think that's the craziest thing.. . He might call me just to say "are you going home this weekend?" . . . We'll look up and an hour has happened. That's how we wind up talking until like 6:00 or 7:00 in the morning.

According to Jaelin (20) these long conversations are not idle

chat. But, they do help with decision-making. They are also used to

share daily triumphs and struggles and to divulge feelings and desires.

However, when the relationship deteriorates, discussions about daily

tasks are no longer interesting or important. In fact, Jaelin claims you

have to strategically think about how to make the conversation

engagingr

He doesn't know my daily activities anymore. . . I like to make someone feel included in my life and he's not. So it's kind of like I'm making all the decisions on my own. . . I spoke to him like maybe 10 times a day before he started changing. .. So it almost makes it seem like the silly things that happen to me aren't good enough for him. And then you start being selective to make sure whatever you say is important. And then the conversations get even more stupid and more stupid cause then you have to figure out what is important.

These girls participate in and experience the emotional and

physical aspects of romantic friendships. As outlined in chapter one, the

goal of this study was to center and explore the non-coital aspects of

middle-class black adolescent female sexuality. But, sex and its outcomes

were a key and, at times, a critical aspect of their lives. There were girls

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who were sexually active, and their feelings ranged from regret to

satisfaction to joy.

The girls who were not active tended to have strong spiritual

and religious beliefs. Regardless whether these girls were active,

abstinent or pure, they articulated a savvy knowledge about the

complexity of sex and sexuality. For example, they experienced and

discussed the religious, political and personal aspects of sexuality and

society. As Rose (17), Chandler (16), Mildred (20), Rachael (19) and Mimi

(20) reveal:

I don't always agree with the stuff that goes on in this country and I don't think I always have. But I'm a part of this county. . . it's kind of like, no wonder kids are running around having sex. No wonder, sex is all over the place.. . Videos, movies, everything, and itis so casual. And then the president is going through this. .. I think itis more disgusting that the president of the United States is supposed to be an elected official and this isn't the first time. All these elected official are just like disgracing our government. If you can't stand by our government, who do you stand by? You stand by your religion.

... if I took a survey of all my friends, all of the couples would say they had sex at his house... The big reason is girls don't want to disrespect their house. It has a lot to do with the relationship with their parents. But the guys, I would say the guys get more freedom. Guys get a lot more freedom.

I never really told my mother and father, but like my sister knows. Both of my best friends know. One, I just told recently.. . My friends are mostly gay or they know. .. That was like my major concern with them because these are people I'm around like 24/7 [24 hours a days, 7 days a week].

Making love is sacred. And its just like aside from the teachings in church as far as saving yourself for marriage, that's something that

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I have decided to do... You can say that you're in love with this person.. . I think that's a problem with people and sharing themselves. . . they end up breaking up and it7s just like an attachment there. And sometimes it's hard to get rid of... And I can't deal with that right now. Not to mention pregnancy and with me being in school and trying to get my education, I can't worry about that right now.

Andre and I get along and he hasn't had a lot girlfriends. So he doesn't really know how to blow my mind. It's just like experience, he just hasn't had much experience. . . I wonder how7 it would be if Andre did like what this person did?

Each girl articulates the varied and complex positions, situations and

experiences that involve black middle-class adolescent female sexuality.

For example, Rose (17) blames the media and government officials,

particularly President Clinton as contributing to society's casual

approach to sex.

Chandler (16) explains that boys have more freedom and tend

to control the sexually setting. Equally telling is the fact that even when

boys live with their parents, they basically have their consent. Makie

(16) explains, "He lives with his father, but the way the apartment is set

up. .. he has his own little artistic world. They see each other in the

morning and in the evening and that's it." Rachael (19) explains that its

not just her religious beliefs, but she does not want to deal with the

emotional and/or physical outcomes of sex.

Mildred (20) describes her sexuality as a confession. She

explains that being a lesbian means you need to announce your

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sexuality, but this initimate news is not shared with everybody equally.

In fact, Mildred explains that she told people whom she was going to be

around "24/7," and this excluded her parents.

Last, but equally important, is the desire for good sex. Mimi

(20) understands that Andre has not had a lot of experience, but admits

that she wants her mind to be blown. Mimi also admits, ".. . my mind

hasn't been blown so I really don't know [what I want] because it never

happened to me. . . But I know it hasn't been blown."

Their Romantic Friendships: Where and How They Are Experienced

These girls experience the joy that a romantic friendship can

illicit as well as suffer the despair it can produce. This volatile

fluctuation creates a situation where the girls say they want someone

who is nice, honest and dependable, but they maintain and endure

relationships even when that is not the case. Simultaneously, some of

these girls do not even meet their own standards of congeniality,

honesty and dependability. They negotiate the complexity of what they

want, with the reality of what they have. Some of these relationships do

reflect an equalitarian spirit, and girls with these types of relationships

describe their partners with the words "he's my best friend."

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Their Definitions and Descriptions of Romance

For these girls, romance is relative and personal. Each person

has her own interpretation and feelings about romance. However, like

the group respondents reported, all the girls agreed that you must have

special feelings for a person in order for romance to occur — but that

occurrence depends on your taste and likes. As Keisha (17) and Rose (17)

explain:

You have to like a person to feel romance in whatever you do. Someone could feel romantic just walking in the zoo. While I would be like it stinks.

Romance is a state of m ind... Romance can't be really defined on television or movies. That's their ideas, but other people's ideas might differ. It's not a certain mold romance fits in.

While the girls agreed that romance is personal, age did play a role in

how you define and see romance. Rose says, "I think I'm still too young.

... I associate things with sweet as opposed to romantic." Goldie (15)

agrees, "I don't think teenagers really have true romance. They might

say they do, but I don't think they really do... I don't think you have

true romance until you've found your lifelong partner." However,

Cheryl (19), who is older, defines romance as, "when two people [have] a

physical, a mental and emotional attraction towards one another, which

makes it easier for [them] to bond."

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These girls describe a variety of romantic experiences. These

happenings include trying to convince boys to be romantic, wishing boys

were more romantic, intimate gifts, intense moments, and stereotypical

concepts of femininity. As Michelle (16) confesses:

You know, you have your slow music going and y'all are all hugged up and a little kissing and stuff... Sometimes I have to push him. Cause he cannot stand slow music.. . as soon as he hears it, "He's gay! Turn it off. I don't want to hear that"... If it's not that GO-GO music it's gay.

Keisha (17) has a similar issue; she wishes her boyfriend was more

romantic:

Like some of my friends their boyfriends will like send them flowers to school. And I'll be like wow. . .1 wish he would like send me little cards that say I always think about you... I think I only feel this way because my friend, her boyfriend is like that.

Jordan's (19) boyfriend's proof that he pays attention was romantic to

her:

I really love Bilie Holiday. . . I only said it to him twice. It was in passing conversation.. . He got me this poster and it was a picture taken at [Billie Holiday's] last recording session. And he had it framed really nice and a really nice card. That was Hke the most romantic gift I ever got.

Even though they were having a intense conversation about ending the

relationship, Scratchy (19) saw the setting as romantic, but unproductive:

We were in the car and just opened up the sunroof, put the heat on cause it was cold as hell. I just held her and I was telling her. .. . what [I] think the problem is. And even though we didn't get too much of the shit solved. I think that was romantic.

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Destiny (20) associates romance with femininity and softness and sees

herself as neither:

In our relationship the roles are kind of reversed. When it come to stuff like that Clark is mushy-mush. . . So I always call him the little girl because he acts like a little girl sometimes. He's very emotional in things like that and I'm always the one like could you just suck it up and move on.

Middle-class black girls experience romance if different ways. As

outlined above romance could be a tangible gift, a jealous desire or a

setting. As Keisha (17) and Rose (17) explained, romance is personal and

relative to the couple who is experiencing it.

Where They Experience Romantic Friendships

Romantic friendships occur in a variety of settings. The girls

in this study described activities that tend to be closely related to their

own passions and hobbies. As Destiny (16) relates, "Go to the art

museum and analyze different pictures," and Elizabeth echoes, "[Pjicnics

and different like jazz concerts and musical festivals because he plays

saxophone." However, when their interests are different some couples

opt to hang out separately. As Keisha explains:

Godfrey and I don't go to clubs together... Cause I like reggae and he likes GO-GO- He will be like, "What are they saying?" — Sometimes he will come and stay with me a little bit. Then O's like, "I don't know what they're saying, so I'm going to go."

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The biggest difference between where and how the girls experience their

romantic friendships is based on age and parental rules. As previously

explained, younger girls tend to go out on group dates. As Black Rose

describes, "A typical group date is like having your friends go the

movies... City Place, the movie section is where everybody stands

around and tries to get girls' numbers, boys' numbers. That's how it is.

Nobody goes to shop." However, to avoid sexual temptation, Destiny

(20) and her boyfriend adopt the group-dating strategy.

I'm very social... if he's around the friends that we both have, our mutual friends or people he feels comfortable with, them he's very social... I like to be around people, but in another sense now that I think about it. We talked about the struggle before as far as being creative with sex, it takes the pressure away because when you're alone by yourself, in a room, in the dark, the devil likes to play. So it's easier. It's safer to be around friends.

Where younger girls experience romantic friendships is also

restricted by their parents. For example, even though most of Cairo's

(16) friends are boys, she is not allowed to go to boys' homes. Also,

where they can go in the house is often times restricted. Kamala (17)

said when she first started talking to boys they could come to her house,

but they would be in the dining room with the family. Now, she can

entertain her boyfriend in the basement, where they can, "talk, watch

TV, play video games, kiss and stuff."

Obviously, the older girls are not as restricted as the younger

girls. The majority of the older girls do not live with their parents.

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However, they tend to do the same kinds of things as the younger girls,

except they spend much more time alone and at each other's homes. In

fact, the majority of the girls described how their time at home was spent

doing mundane things like eating, homework and watching television.

When they do go out, the majority of the girls said its generally for

dinner and a movie.

How They Experience Romantic Friendships

The actual occurrences and experiences that happen within

these relationships can be quite intense. The girls reported that being

nice, honest and dependable were all fundamental qualities that a

partner should have. They defined and described these qualities in a

variety of ways. For example, "being nice" was described as kind words,

random considerate acts and buying things. Black Rose (15) defined

"nice" as a comforting reminder that she was smart and beautiful:

I thought I got an A .. . . and I go a C. He m ade me a card — it just said something like "You're smart and beautiful." It was just a nice kind of like feel better thing.

Destiny's (16) definition involves security, and Keisha (17) describes nice

as her boyfriend "always paying":

... it's nice to know that someone is there for you to talk to, when ever you have problem.. . It's like having a best friend be more passionate with you.... more than your friend will.

He always buys. When we go out he pays for everything. He's not one of those boys that be like, "You paying for your right?"

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December (18) sees nice as being treated right:

He treats me right. He never disrespects me. He buys me things. I mean, I don't ask, he just does it. He always takes me out when he has time.

Scratchy (19) views nice as having someone there to care for you:

She was nice to me; she loved me; she cared fro me. She made sure I ate, cause I have a horrible diet.

For Mimi (20), her boyfriend's overall disposition is nice:

He's just a nice guy... He sits there and listens to like people's problems and coaches them and try to steer them in the right direction.. . I say he's nice because he's like funny and silly.

While these girls describe what nice is, they admit that they

are not always nice and boys do not always treat them nicely. For

example, Jordan (19) describes her boyfriend as nice, but says he can be

revengeful. Instead of stating the problem, he will try and get back at

you.

. . . his thing is when somebody hurts his feelings. He doesn't say you hurt my feeling. He'll try and get back at you and try to make you mad. But that doesn't work on me cause I know what he's doing.

Zaisha (18) said her boyfriend was nice most of the time, but he could be

"verbally abusive":

He was not nice when he's ticked off... He would tell me anything. He would be disrespectful... One time he called me a skytel. It's a Jamaican term that's kind of equivalent to a bitch. He told me I was nasty. He told me I wasn't special.

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On the other hand, girls can be equally nasty. Makie (16) describes her

boyfriend as too nice, and uses words like "sucker," "goody two-shoes"

and "mama's boy" to describe him. Makie said that she warned her

boyfriend, "... a lot of females feel that they can get any male to buy

them what they want by flirting or by just like doing little things."

Makie's confession and Zaisha's incident illustrate the angst and

opposition that can occur in these adolescent romances. However, the

girls do know what nice is and claim it is an essential element for

romance.

The girls also claim that honesty was a crucial element of

romantic friendships. However, what they describe were the ideals and

desires of honesty. From the youngest to the oldest, their portrayals of

deceit and lies were intense. The majority of these stories divulge boys'

dishonesty and deceit. Their lies range from "little things," such as lying

about their age or their whereabouts, to lies about their commitment to

the relationship. As DeShawn (15), Michelle (16), Kim (19) and Mimi

(20) illustrate:

My best friend told m e... He was hugging on her and stuff and when I asked her about it she was like "That's my boyfriend." And she was like, "He said he didn't go with you no more." And I asked him. He was lying saying that he was trying to hook her up with one of his friends. .. That's too much confusion so I didn't want to go w ith him anymore.

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Sometimes boys tell you stories. They tell you they're not going out and then later on the next day your friends have seen him somewhere that they said they weren't going.

He's up front with me, but not really because I know he's doing other stuff. Like I can't prove it cause he w o n 't tell me. Like he's told me in the past he's cheated on me. . . But I think that he's done other things that he hasn't told me.

... he has a pager and I'll page him and like 40 minutes later or something he'll call back. If you have a pager you're suppose to call the person right back... I'll already know what he's doing and I'm like what are you doing? And he's beating around the bush instead of just telling me exactly where he is... I'll beat it out him, he'll tell me he's at the mall with someone, a female. I don't know if that's not being honest because he didn't lie.

The younger girls seems to have a much clearer and more

concise definition of honest. But the older girls are trying to balance

what they know to be true with what they want to be true. Kim (19) and

Mimi (20) both reveal they "know he's doing" something. But neither

girl confronts the issue or leaves the situation. In Mimi's romantic

friendship this uncertain truth is an ongoing cycle. She says ".. . we

spend 20 minutes talking... And I'm like why did we have to go

through all that.. . I get so uptight." However, Kim may stay in the

relationship because of her own dishonesty.

Some of the girls in the study, including Kim, revealed that

while honesty is important to them, they are not always truthful. Some

of the girls have boyfriends and "mess with" somebody on the side, or

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they "talk" to a few people. As Cerrissa (17), Anastada (20) and Kim (19)

explain:

... this is the way I see it. You know how you have a variety box of potato chips. You know you got the Doritos, your com chips, your salt and vinegar, sour cream and onion... I eat at least four of five different brands, but I'm not eatings them yet. I'm just looking at the box trying to see which one I want. And I've got to choose it carefully because I know I like all of them. But I've just got to choose the one I like best

I don't believe in the days where women aren't supposed to do what a man do, I don't believe in that. But, this was the first time I'm actually trying to be honest. Its been like about nearly a year and I've been good for all this time.

Anastica's discussion was more about her boyfriend's infidelity

than her own. She said, "He was intimate with someone else. It's even

worse than that. It was white." She is dealing with the complexities of

these adolescent romantic relationships. She's upset that not only did

he cheat, but it was with a white girl. In addition, she has been making

an "extra effort" to be good in this relationship, and he has the nerve to

cheat! Later she reflects and says, "The same thing I used to dish out

came right back to me."

I have like a boyfriend and a really good person.... you knowr somebody like — I have two boyfriends. One just found out about the other one so he's not my boyfriend anymore.... he read my journal. I thought it was something I wrote in the summer time before I met him. So I thought all my bases were covered. He knows about everybody in the summer time. But it turned out to be something that I wrote in November and we were supposed to be like together in November... I was like go ahead and read it. I thought it was something I wrote this summer. I didn't care.

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Initially Kim angrily argues, .. you sought and you found. And it's

not my problem that you didn't like what you found, but you found it."

But later, she softly confesses:

I really want to be with the 20 year old. But he said he can't trust me enough. And the relationship is still ongoing with the other person, but it's not the same as far as my feeling for him.

Not all of these relationships are so dramatic. Regardless of

age, race, class or gender, honesty between romantic friends is never a

constant, ahistorical experience. Many of the girls in this study describe

open, honest relationships. What is interesting is that some of the girls

saw confession as honesty. For example, Solonge (20) and Rose (17)

describe their boyfriends' honesty as telling the truth about a wrong

situation:

He told me from the beginning. He was like "I have a girlfriend right now." And he just let me know, I'm trying to step up to you.. . . I'm just trying to be honest with you. I'm breaking up with her and I want to talk to you... So he told me exactly everything when he broke up with her. You find guys that try and run games. They want to talk to you and keep their girlfriend too. He didn't run any game.

Solonge does reveal that she knew the girl, so it was easy for her to

confirm his story.

He was real remorseful about what he had done. And I forgave him but he still felt bad. He came over here with stuff, thank you for forgiving me for like weeks. And he wouldn't stop talking about it I was like shut-up— I forgave you. Get over it

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Again, these descriptions of honesty involve wrong and/or

dishonest acts, but for these girls, the confession of the act makes the

boys honest. Girls who said their boyfriends were friends before the

romantic friendship seem to have the most open and honest

relationships. As Chandler (16) and Snoopy (17) reveal:

He's real honest.... we were good friends before we started messing with each other we just talked about what was going on in each other's lives.

He is always like "It's much better to be honest because then you get caught up in this lie and this lie". .. So I can trust he is always honest with his mom. I can always trust that he's being honest with me and so he's honest in general, in everything he does.

In some cases, girls have to risk getting hurt if they are open

to honesty in romantic friendships. December said, "I didn't trust him

until I left for college. To be honest I just know it was something I had

to do.. . I mean sometimes you get hurt. You go to take a chance. So

that's basically -what I did. I took a chance." Others cannot stand or do

not want to hear the truth. Jaelin's (20) situations clearly articulates this:

He's very honest... That's probably why doesn't really call me too much. I will ask very blunt questions . .. and he'll give me very honest answers. That's why he admitted that he wasn't sure if he was going to try or rather that he wanted to. And I'm like why wouldn't he want to? I don't think if s only the fact that he has no time. I think his feelings for me are changing a little bit in terms of my absence. We spent four months together, day in and day out. And I don't think he knows how to deal with not being around and still wanting me. He won't admit this.

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She acknowledges the fact that he is honest and that he admitted he was

not sure if he wanted the relationship. However, she rationalizes the

situation as he just misses her so much but he just cannot admit it.

Honesty within a relationship is difficult, particularly when

you are dealing with the uncertainties and constant changes of

adolescence. These girls claim they want honesty but are involved with

and participate in dishonesty. Not as problematic, but just a critical is

the girls' discussion about dependability.

Being able to consistently or consistently attempt to provide

emotional and/or financial help seems to reflect accurately what the

girls mean by dependability. While Rose (17) understands that

dependability does not occur overnight, "dependability is like a slow

growing thing that you notice." Elizabeth (18) says, "I can call this

person and they understand like I need to talk to them or I would need

their company like at that time. Somebody that you can like always

count on."

Juanita's definition is more tangible. She associates

dependability with self sufficiency: "Financial stability... Preferably

have a car, not living at home with nobody's mama." Zaisha (18) may

agree, that if they are not self-sufficient, they could be dependent.

Zaisha gave her boyfriend money and rides to work and school: "He was

independent to a certain extent. But I understood his reasons why he

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became dependent." She further explains, .. he had a job that was way

out in the wilderness rather than him having to get a taxi, I would

drive him." Unfortunately, she couldn't depend on him the same way:

I'm coming from St. Johns. I'm paying money to get on the ferry to come and see you and you're sleeping. . . So I was talking to his brother. I guess he got offended I left him inside the room. .. So the last ferry to get back is 12:00 o'clock. A nd we were like 10 minutes before midnight. I woke him up and said come on I have to catch the boat. And he was like, he was not studying me ... he was not paying any attention to m e... So I went to the dock... I thought that was very evil.. . St. Thomas is not the place you want to walk in the dark alone. Crazy people on the street, there were dogs on the street. And how could you do that to me?

The younger girls responses focused on boys keeping their word. This

was a common cord throughout the younger girls' interviews: The girls

simply wanted boys to do what they promised. According to Kamala

(17), boys in DC, as a group, are not dependable:

... guys I've talked to and my friends have talked to, especially in DC, you cannot depend on anything... they will say "I'm on my way" . .. Half of the time they will not follow through. [My boyfriend] always follows through. When he says something you it's going to be done.

The younger girls also depend on boys for emotional support. As

Snoopy (17) explains:

I've been really upset about something, before I even want to talk to any of my friends, he's the first person I want to call because I know he's going to listen to me and pump me up and make me feel better. While they may claim to fight it, and not request it these girls also

depend on boys for financial support. As Makie (16) confesses: "I mean I

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really don't like to ask anyone from money. I don't even like to ask my

mother for money. But if I really need it he will give it to me."

The older girls describe the same emotional and financial

variables as what determines their concepts and expectations of

dependency. However, the older girls' relationships were more

complex; therefore, the financial support was more expensive and the

em otional support more intense. As Jaelin (20), Solange (20) and Jordan

(19) articulate:

... my pride does not permit me to ask people for money. Now of course if they offer, I might think twice about it. But I won't ask. .. . this is why I said dependability because he knew I was in a jam. Even though he wanted me to go to the wedding ... to show me off... he got the hair, shoes, me getting there. We drove up, but he paid for all these things like gas, tolls and the hotel room.

When I went to Chicago to baby sit my nephew, he came down to visit and help me.

Me and my dad have an odd relationship ... he has two kids and they're with a white woman. And like I have issues with that. We go through periods where we're constantly arguing and then we get along. I said something to him and he just did not like it and went off on m e.. . I'm everybody's listener but I don't let people listen to me too much. You kind of have to pry me to get things o u t.. . [My boyfriend] knows I'm like that so he didn't push it too much. He came right over and brought me dinner and sat with me and talked to me about it. .. He made me feel better and cheered me up.

The financial stakes become higher as the girls get older.

Jaelin's (20) boyfriend not only took her away for the weekend, but paid

for her to look good while they were away. Solange's boyfriend made it

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to Chicago to help her baby-sit. And Jordan's emotional support was

more than a "pump me up" phone call. Her boyfriend had to negotiate

his care and concern with her inherent disposition of not sharing

information. Again, these middle-class black girls see dependence

through emotional and tangible experiences, but the depth and

expectations of those occurrences are dependent on age.

Regardless of age, if two people see being dependent

differently it can cause problems. Scratchy (19) and her girlfriend have a

fundamental difference of opinion about what dependability is:

Like I would page her and she wouldn't call me right back. And she's always say shit like, "Well I'm not like you. I'm not going to stop at a pay phone or I don't have a cell phone or sometimes I'm w ith somebody.. but if you page me and I care about you, I don't care where I am or what I'm doing, 9 out of 10, I'll find myself a way to a phone or somebody's phone.

The girls in this study identified that congeniality, honesty

and being able to depend on someone as basic to romantic friendships.

However there are times, when this is not the case, and they themselves

do not display those same characteristics. Even with this imbalance,

girls often and intensely engage in romantic friendships that can make

them feel "really good" or friendships where honesty and/or

dependability is always being questioned.

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Romantic Friendships: Assessing the Dominant Script and the Personal Narrative

As previously outlined in chapter four and five, these girls'

romantic friendships almost always mirror their report of the ghetto

girl. Clearly, middle-class girls' relationships do not solely focus on

material gain and sexual conquest. But similar to their peers, they

experience dishonesty, competition and the daily angst of romantic

friendships. As Jasmyne (17) explained, both girls enjoy the same

activities — movies, shopping and eating out; they just enjoy them at

different locations. The girls also reported that the ghetto girl may

actually have more fun because of the resources within her romantic

friendship — money, cars and privacy. The down-side to that fun,

however, is the constant negotiation and competition with all his other

girlfriends. But that may not be a problem considering the number of

girls who mess with boys on the side.

The dominant script and personal narrative overlap. Both

girls experience romantic friendships under the rubric of patriarchy and

racism. And this common oppression creates a bond and experience

tighter than the class line that divides the girls. Regardless of class, girls

have to negotiate their race and gender through relationships that may

take advantage of both. That is, boys seem to have more social

permission and freedom to engage in and entertain romantic

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friendships. For example, there is the fact that the girls in this study

reported their boyfriends are allowed to have company in their

bedrooms. The ability of these boys to move in and out of the black

community for romantic friendships is another example.

This is not to position black adolescent girls as victims. This

research clearly documents that these girls are fully engaged and aware

of their particular social situation. However, how they choose to handle

these dynamic situations vary. Middle-class black girls have strong

communal and family supports that provide them with the tools and

resources to successfully navigate these vicarious romantic relationships

and the social situations they present. Their positive self-image, the

affirming and cautionary messages they receive, how they select their

partners and what they experience in romantic friendships all mirror

and employ strategies in line with middle-class black values.

However, these girls do have to balance these positive, self-

affirming communal principles within a social system that devalues her

gender and race. They achieve this balance by keeping a "foot in each

world." They cling to affirmations of their own community and resist

the images and expectations of the outside world. Moreover, they

transcend and redefine the outside perspectives of others. While

socially oppressed by their race and gender, these middle-class black girls

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triumph in the privilege of their class and create a niche were they

flourish and grow.

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CONCLUSION

The girls in this study see themselves as distinct and separate from

the stereotypical ghetto girl. While they report that they share some of the

same interests and desires as ghetto girls, they perceive themselves as being

different. The long-interview respondents (as well as the focus group

respondents in chapter one) reported that they present themselves in contrast

to the stereotypical girls. Specifically, these girls described how their

"manners," "intellect," "smiles," "language," and quietness distinguish them

from stereotypical girls:

.. . people wouldn't think of me as being ghetto because I'm very like mannerly. I mean I don't show manners like, oh thank you; you're welcome. But it's like I'm friendly. (Destiny 16)

When I open my mouth to talk. They can see that I'm smart or that I have some intellect and manners. Plus, I always try to smile to people I don't know or basically try to always make a good first impression. (Rose 17)

Well, most of the time I'll smile or like if I'm in a conversation, I'm not loud and abrupt and like using profanity. (Tanita 18)

I'm naturally not a very loud person. And like my girlfriends will be the first ones to tell you, when they start acting loud. I tell them they're not with me and I walk away. (Racheal 19)

These are not just differences, but ways the girls resist being

stereotyped and labeled as such. The girls always attempt to speak nicely, act 226

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mannerly and smile, and thus avoid being seen or mistaken as a ghetto girl.

Rose claims that even if she is mistaken as a ghetto girl, she would not be

rude; she tries to "prove" she is not a ghetto girl. Rose (17) says, "I wouldn't

be disrespectful. Most of the time I try to like put on a smile and say

something that let's people know that I'm not the fallen stereotype."

This public persona is how these middle-class black girls resist and

combat the negative stereotypes assigned to all black female adolescents —

"teen mother," "uneducated," and "state-dependent." This resistance serves

two purposes. First, it allows middle-class black girls to create an identity and

live a reality that contradicts the negative stereotypes — "defensive," "loud,"

and "no couth" -- assigned to ghetto girls. Second, it creates a social niche

where they can negotiate the dominant sexual script with their own personal

experiences.

This negotiation allows the girls to adopt behaviors and strategies

similar to the ghetto girls, while maintaining what they perceive to be a

distinct and separate identity. For example, these girls may get loud and

boisterous, wear tight clothes and be sexually active — all the things they

report the ghetto girl doing. But, middle-class black girls internalize,

rationalize and distinguish these same behaviors and/ or actions as dissimilar

and, at times, contradictory to the ghetto girls' conduct. Simultaneously, they

try to implement these strategies in a way that does not jeopardize or spoil

others' perceptions of them. This negotiation sometimes involves chicanery,

hiding and/or lying. This internal/external (i.e. public/private) negotiation is

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their culture of dissemblance. As previously discussed in chapter one, this is

how black females appear to be open but hide private and intimate matters.

The girls present themselves as friendly, patient and smart. Even when their

character is being challenged, they temper themselves and, through their

actions and intellect, respectfully demonstrate that they are not the "fallen

stereotype."

It is important to note that this negotiation is not always

clandestine; in fact, it is often open and purposeful. For example, some of the

girls say their hair, their religious beliefs and their refusal to be friendly and

nice can separate them from the ghetto girl stereotype:

Like my hair is twisted like everywhere. Or I wear a huge head wrap. And people always notice me by my hair and head wraps. (Makie 16)

The fact that I have a relationship with God makes me different than the ghetto girl. (Cheryl 19)

It depends on how you approach me. Cause if you approach me wrong you probably wouldn't be able to tell the difference. (Chandler 16)

The girls have a clear grasp of how they are publicly displayed and

perceived. Even though they reported that the media does not influence

their decisions, they do understand that it does carry weight, often informs

and sometimes miseducates others about black adolescent girls. Therefore,

they negotiate their sexual self-image -- presentation, action and association

between the dominant sexual script and their personal narrative.

Presentation, the most important element of these girls' sexual self-image is

the intersection of clothes and how they look and act in those clothes. While

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middle-class black girls may wear tight and revealing clothes, they make sure

that their disposition and attitude while wearing those clothes do not box

them into the ghetto-girl stereotype. They also reported that their attire is

always suitable. In other words, they know when and where tight and

revealing clothes are acceptable. Equally important, they make sure the

quality of their presentation, which includes hair, is reflective of their

middle-class status.

The other two elements of a sexual self-image — actions and

association — also must be negotiated. These girls emphasized that how you

act (for example, "if you hang on boys") defines your action. Girls must

negotiate the fact that while they like boys and want to express their interest,

they also must avoid crossing into the ghetto-girl territory. Association, "the

company that you keep," is also negotiated. Regardless of their company,

middle-class black girls present themselves as different and others often see

them that way.

Anastacia (20) says that she has ghetto girlfriends and they see her

differently. She describes,

I honestly can admit I have a lot of friends like that. But even when I did go out with them, the girls from the poorer class could tell that I wasn't from their street. My attitude was completely different from them.

When it comes to partner selection, this negotiation is extremely

complex. First, the girls must navigate through the various levels and

definitions of adolescent romantic friendships —"boo," "talking," "messing

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with," and "boyfriend." Second, girls are saturated with a variety of messages

from a variety of sources. It is not the number or variation that it critical, but

where the messages are coming from, how they message were delivered, and

the relationship between the transmitter and the girl receiving the

communication. While these messages guide the girls' decisions about

partner selection, the girls themselves make the final decisions. I argue that

these decisions can be led by the culture of dissemblance. In other words, they

may lie, hide and be defiant to establish or maintain romantic friendships.

However, the majority of these girls choose partners that are inline and

congruous with black middle-class values.

The girls perceive their mothers, other female family members and

girlfriends as the most important message transmitters. Girls rely heavily on

the safety and comfort of black feminine culture. However, when that safety

and consultation is absent, the mother/daughter dyad tends to be weak. The

"tongues of fire" messages that these relationships generate are limited and

incomplete. To promote messages that stimulate girls' critical thinking, both

the "tongues of fire" and "truth telling for liberation" approaches must be

combined. Mingling both messages provides girls with facts, reasoning and

stories that guide them when they are in a similar situations. The girls

reported three other elements that informed and influenced their partner

selection: namely, the messages from male family members, the church and,

least important, the media. They argued that the media often does not

accurately reflect their lives, so its influence is weak.

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While these message must be evaluated and negotiated, so do the

characteristics that the girls want and usually experience during romantic

friendships. These experiences reflect the tension between what the girls

want, what they do and what they expect. First, the girls claim that honesty is

a crucial element of romantic friendships. However, the girls negotiate that

honesty between what they know is true and what they want to be true. They

will often rationalize lying and dishonesty. Not just their partners' deception,

but their own deceit.

The other two themes the girls reported as important are

dependability and "being nice." Again, while the girls are warned not to rely

on boys for material things, they do describe dependability as financial as well

as emotional support. Closely related, "being nice" is also seen as guys

purchasing items for them, as well as kind words and gestures. While the

girls reported desiring independence and not needing guys to buy them

things, they do accept their financial support. They also enjoy and, at times,

expect gifts. Again, articulating a public self -- "I'm independent" — and

acting differently in private — "If he asks, I'll take it" — reveals how the

culture of dissemblance is experienced within romantic friendships.

Taken together, these three themes suggest that the girls in my

study do not reflect or prescribe to the popular stereotypes assigned to all black

girls. What they do is balance the dominant sexual script with their own

personal narrative. Experiencing the culture of dissemblance, these girls are

often ignored and socially silenced. Opening academic ears, theories and

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studies to this group can finally expand how black female adolescent sexuality

is discussed, theorized and measured.

For example, by focusing on sexual self-image, partner selection

and romantic friendships, one of my objectives was to avoid the over-studied

and under-analyzed issues of adolescent sex. However, I made three related

discoveries. One, the actual act of sex, how it feels and what those feelings

mean are essential to girls. As previously outlined in chapter one, sexuality

studies tend to focus on behavior and outcome. These girls reveal that more

analysis needs to be done about the physiological, emotional and spiritual

aspects of sex.

The second discovery is that sex — abstaining or active — is an

integral aspect of adolescent life, both physically and socially. Physically,

adolescent bodies are changing and that change generates curiosities and

feelings. Simultaneously, society facilitates those alterations and curiosity by

providing approved cultural norms and mores that dictate where those

adolescent curiosities can play out. Even though I wanted to focus on the

non-coital aspect of sexuality, the picture would have been incomplete

without a discussion about sex — that is, not necessarily the outcomes, but

how girls conceptualize sex. Regardless if the girls were active or abstaining,

each had an opinion, feeling and/or experience about sex.

Third, girls who are sexually active risk suffering and experiencing

the same sexual outcomes that they define as ghetto. For example, these

results may include sleeping with someone you do not know well and/or

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having unprotected sex. But, these girls enjoy the privileges of private

doctors, therapists, parental involvement and communal expectations that

protect them from undue suffering and prejudicial labels. In other words,

when faced with sexual obstacles — sexually transmitted disease and/or

pregnancy — these girls have remedies and options that generally resolve

such issues quickly and safely. This finding supports Dollard's (1949) and

Frazier's (1961) analyses that members of the black middle-class attempt to

portray themselves as more sexually rigid, safer and more chaste than lower-

class blacks. The girls in this study even reported that white girls are sexually

"faster" than them (see pg. 131). But, regardless of race or class, girls who are

sexually active and do not take the necessary precautions may experience and

suffer consequences of that choice. However, since these girls always must

present themselves as good and pure, they may even hide these consequences

and issues from their support networks — family, physician and friends.

Another unanticipated finding was the boy-driven antagonism

that exists between girls. The girls discussed how they fight over boys and

some girls cannot be trusted with information and secrets. Originally I did

not correlate fighting and girls' sexuality. However, as I delved further into

the data I realized there was a direct link. As Elizabeth (18) explains, "Girls

have this unspoken competition with each other, for almost anything — guys,

clothes, grades, hairstyles."

As previously outlined in chapter four (see pg. 90), profiling is an

inherent aspect of a sexual self-image. Since image attracts boys, girls attempt

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to present the best possible image. When that is challenged, the competition

can be so intense and the cost of profiling so high that they lead to fighting.

This means, the girls will compete for boys, and, when their profiling is not

enough, it can lead to violence. It is important to note that the majority of

these girls did not fight, and they all described such confrontations as ghetto

and immature.

I also underestimated how hard adolescent middle-class adolescent

black girls work to balance a self that stands on a "foot in each world." As it

relates to a sexuality, these girls' public image is one of strength, knowledge,

security, consciousness and, in some cases purity. However, they negotiate

that appearance through a dominant sexual script, which does not reflect

their middle-class values. Therefore, middle-class black girls work to balance

the image that exists (i.e. the stereotypical black girl) with the one they want

people to see. The girls in this study strategically choose ghetto girl

techniques and attitudes and then implement them through a black middle-

class context. The girls work to create the intersection of the dominant sexual

script and the personal narrative. It is there that middle-class black girls

express, articulate and voice their sexual script.

These unexpected research findings and the research itself lead to

other questions. For example, it would be fascinating to ask the girls about

the benefits of wearing tight, revealing clothes. Since the girls argue that

when they wear tight clothes they carry themselves in a certain manner to

avoid being stereotyped — why bother wearing the tight clothes? Exactly, what

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are they saying to others when they wear these outfits? Why do they like this

type of clothing? And how would their lives be different if they did not wear

tight clothes? Their responses could begin to articulate how girls express and

represent gender.

While Carol Gilligan (1982) explains how gender guides moral

reasoning; Carol Stack (1994) suggests that race and class are just as influential.

Exploring how middle-class black girls vision and shape morality would

expand Gilligan's work and contextualize Stack's study. Sexual self-image,

partner selection and romantic friendships constantly test these girls' moral

reasoning and decisions. Stack's (1994) respondents faced decisions similar to

issues posed in this study. Examining the sexual texts of middle-class black

girls may reveal how race, class and gender shape moral reasoning.

Several authors have researched and theorized about how and why

society silences adolescent girls (American Association of University Women,

1991, Mann 1994; McClean Taylor, Gilligan and Sullivan 1995; Orenstein

1994). These researches have also explained that this silence is experienced

along racial lines. Specifically, black girls tend to maintain and retain their

self-esteem and confidence throughout adolescence. While my research

found this to be true among the younger girls, it was the older girls who

seemed to be less centered and self-assured. For example, they were more

timid about expressing how they liked their beauty and body images. And

when it came to romantic friendships, they seemed to be more willing to

tolerate and rationalize dishonesty than younger girls. By exploring the text

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of older girls, researchers may find that black girls also loose confidence; it just

happens later in the adolescent life cycle.

Related to clothing and sexual identity, is the exploration of gender

differences and its importance and public display. When I asked the girls to

describe what characteristics they find attractive in a potential partner, their

responses were closely aligned with those things that help define their own

sexual self-image — presentation, action and association. I am also

particularly interested in boys and their presentation — specifically, exploring

how they interpret clothes, hair and style. Based on the girls' descriptions of

adolescent boys, their male peers are just as concerned with hair and clothes.

But, do middle-class black boys work to present a particular image when they

wear certain clothing? Are they forced to adopt a certain type of attitude to

avoid being stereotyped?

Another potential study would be the androgyny of adolescent

dressing. For example, these subjects reported that both boys and girls shop at

the same stores, wear the same designer outfits and hairstyles (e.g. braid and

dreadlocks). Clothes and accessories, for example, scarves and ties, have

traditionally served as specific gender markers. When these strict gender-

markers begin to blur, what does that mean for adolescents?

Finally, I'm interested in the concept of love within the black

middle-class. John Lee (1974) offers six typologies of love -- erotic, manic,

ludic, pragmatic, storgic and agapic. I would like to query young middle-class

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adults about these definitions of love and explore their experiences and

attitudes about romance.

Those in this study describe how middle-class black girls are

confined by the feminine posture of being nice and understanding, while

simultaneously being expected to transcend that box by demanding respect

and excelling in academics and extra curricular activities. This is extremely

important for a middle-class black girl because an appropriate presentation of

self is how she separates herself from the ghetto-girl stereotype. This is often

achieved by hiding her real feelings and friendships, as well as participating

in clandestine activities that do not reflect what is presented to the public.

Not all girls wrestle with these issues, however: Many of the girls' private and

public lives are congruence. Basically, middle-class black girls negotiate the

dominant sexual script with their own communal expectations and personal

choices to express and experience their particular personal narrative.

The majority of the girls in this study reported themselves as

happy and moving in the right direction. They expect to do well, just as their

communities expect them to do well. When the girls face stereotypical

obstacles (and they often do), they have the resources to overcome them.

These girls represent some of the missing voices in adolescent female

sexuality studies. While this study fulfills a deafening void in black-

adolescent sexuality, it also adds to a broader understanding of multiple

jeopardy and privilege as theoretical concepts. Justas race, class and gender

cannot be fully understood unless they are studied as an intersection, female-

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adolescent sexuality is dynamic and multiple angles must be simultaneously

explored to capture its diverse meanings.

This study presents a more contextual model that allows scholars

to explore several aspects of adolescent sexuality and how they are

interrelated. This approach allows researchers to record voices that are

missing and document journeys that are rarely explored.

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239

Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. 1. How old were you when you had your first boyfriend?

2. What is your favorite slow song?

3. What is your favoirte movie?

4. Where was your first date?

5. Where is your favorite place to shop? (name a specific store)

6. What is your favorite television show?

7. Who is your favorite singer?

8. How old were you when you had your first kiss?

9. Who is your favorite model?

10. What is your favorite book?

11. How old are you?

12. Where do you go to school?

13. What is your major?

14 Are you involved in any social organizations, clubs or groups?

15. Do you attend church?

How often?

16. Where does your family live?

17. Do you have any brother or sisters?

18. Who lives in your families house?

19. What do your parent(s) do for a living?

20. List five objectives to describe yourself?

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241

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When I define myself, the place in which I am not like you, I am not excluded you from the joining, but broadening the joining.

Audre Lorde

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CONSENT FORM

243

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Middle-Class African-American Adolescent Females Sexuality: A Qualitative Analysis Consent Form for Participants & Parents/Guardians

This study will examine how middle-class Black girls and young women in the Washington, DC area define their sexuality. We hope to learn how this particular group feels about their Sexual Sexual-Image — how do they feel about their beauty and body image; Partner Selection — what characteristics do they define attractive (athletic, smart, friendly); and Romantic Friendships — how do they define romance. Participants will not be asked questions about their sexual behavior or activity. Equally important, this project will also examine how these girls and young women interpret and resist the typical stereotypes assigned to Black adolescent women who live in the inner-city (e.g. “teen mother,” “welfare-dependent,” and “sexually submissive”). The data for this study will be gathered in two ways. First, there will be a series of in-depth interviews. Second, there will be a series of informal discussions with seven to ten participants. Participants will do either an in-depth interview or a group interview. The in-depth interviews and informal discussions will be audio tape. Each participant will be asked to suggest a friend who they think would be interested in participating in the study.

In a study design as this, there may be possibility of information being disclosed; however, the following steps will be taken to assure confidentiality and anonymity. Only the personnel associated with the study will be privy to the data, which will bear no names. In-depth interviewees will choose an alias to ensure anonymity. Only first names will be used in the group discussions, which will be removed from the transcriptions. Information from the discussion groups will be reported as group data (e.g. group 1, group 2). In addition, group participants will promise to keep all information discussed private and confidential. To further safeguard confidentiality, tape transcriptions will be done in private.

This consent form serves as a record of your participation. It will have a code number that will be recorded on a master list. The master list will be kept in a locked box to which only the principal researcher has access. The list and tapes will be discarded within three years of the study’s completion.

I AGREE TO PARTICIPATE IN THIS RESEARCH PROJECT AS IT HAS BEEN DESCRIBED. I KNOW I AM FREE TO DISCONTINUE MY PARTICIPATION AT ANY TIME AND NOT ANSWER ANY OF THE QUESTIONS ASKED OF ME IF I CHOOSE NOT TO DO SO. I UNDERSTAND ALL RESPONSES WILL BE KEPT CONFIDENTIAL

*1 AGREE TO PERMIT MY MINOR DAUGHTER ______TO PARTICIPATE IN THIS RESEARCH AS IT HAS BEEN DESCRIBED TO ME.

Participant Signature * Parent/Guardian Signature

Print Participant Name *Print Parent/Guardian Name Participants under 18 mast have parent/guardian signature to participate in the study.

Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. APPENDIX D LONG INTERVIEW QUESTIONS

245

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NAME:

How old are you?

Do you have brothers or sisters?

Where do you fall in the family? (birth order)

Who lives at your house (probe — family composition)

Where do you live?

Where do you go to school?

Do you go to church?

If yes, where and how often?

Do you belong to any clubs?

If yes, which clubs and what is their purpose?

Do you call yourself Black or African-American?

Long Interview Questions

I. Sexual Self-Image Questions

DOMINANT SCRIPT

A. Beauty

When people thing about Black girls who live in the inner city, what image do you think come to their minds?

Where do these images come from?

How is she portrayed in these images?

What does this girl look like

(probe for specifics -- skin color, hair type and length)

Is this image good or bad?

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why or why not?

B. Appearance

What kind of clothes does this type of young woman wear?

Where do you think she shops?

Is this the kind of place you would shop?

Why or why not?

How about her hair, what kind of style does she have?

What do you think of that hair style?

D. Personality

How does she carry herself?

Do you consider this good or bad?

Why or why not?

How does she act?

RESPONDENT

A. Personality

What about you, what kind of personality do you have?

How would your friends describe you? (probe for specifics)

B. Appearance

What is your style?

Does your style match your personality?

Where do you shop for clothes?

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C. Body

Do you like your shape?

Why or why not? (probe for specifics)

II. Partner Selection

RESPONDENT

A. Social Desirability

Do you have a boyfriend or someone you talk to?

If yes — What kind of person is he?

Would you consider him cute?

Why or why not? (probe for specifics)

Would your friends consider him cute?

B. Personal Virtue

Is he dependable?

Ask for example.

Is he nice to you?

Ask for example.

Is he an honest person?

Ask for example

What does he want to do when he graduates?

C. Relationship Messages

Who talked to you about boys when you were younger?

What did that person/people tell you?

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(probe for specifics)

DOMINANT SCRIPT

A. Personality Virtue

What kind of young men do you think (use similar descriptors as in question LA) inner city girls like? (probe for specifics)

B. Social Desirability

What does this type of guy look like?

Where does this image come from?

C. Relationships Messages

Who do you think talked to her about boys?

HI. Romantic Friendships

(If there is no boyfriend(s), ask about their last boyfriend(s). Or, what they would like in a boyfriend(s).

RESPONDENT

A. W here

Where do you hang-out with your boyfriend?

What do you do when you are hanging-out?

Before you go out, how do you decide what to wear? (probe for specifics)

B. W hen

How much time do you usually spend together?

(probe — talking on phone, thinking about him, together)

Do you think he spends the same amount of time with you as his friends?

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Do you think he spend the same amount of time preparing for dates?

C. W hat

What kinds of things do you do when you are together? (probe for specifics)

DOMINANT SCRIPT

A. W hat

What do you think the inner-city girl does with the her boyfriend?

B. W here

Where does she hang-out with her boyfriend?

C. W hen

How much time does she spend with her boyfriend?

IV. Closing Questions

How are you different than the stereotype?

Would the stereotypical girl like you?

Is there anything else you would like to tell me about yourself?

Are there any questions that I should have asked, and did not?

Can you please tell me two or three friends from your (neighborhood, school, church or club) that may be interested in participating in this project?

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251

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Stereotypes —15 minutes

When people think of a inner city black girl, what come to mind?

Define ghetto?

Is this a stereotype?

Where does this image come from?

Probe — specific sitcoms, videos and characters

How are you different from this stereotype?

Does their stereotype affect you in any way?

Sexual Self-Image — 20 minutes

What characteristics describe a sexual self-image?

How would you describe your sexual self-image?

Describe the stereotypical girl's sexual self-image?

How is black women's sexual self-image different than other women's?

Partner Selection -- 20 minutes

How important is girls' sexual self-image when it come to boys?

When you're attracted to someone what characteristics do you look for?

Let7s rank these in importance . ..

Going back to the stereotypical girl, what affects her dating decisions?

How does CHURCH, FAMILY, FRIENDS & MEDIA affect your dating decisions?

Romantic Friendships — 20 minutes

Define romance.

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Think back to a romantic experience, and tell us about it.

How do most couples meet?

Where do most couple hang-out?

How do most couples spend their time?

Do you think the stereotypical girl has a different experience?

Closing Questions — 20 minutes

How are you different than stereotypical girls?

What do you have in common?

If there was one thing you wanted people to know about young black women's sexuality, what it be?

Are there any questions that I should've asked and didn't?

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254

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INTERVIEW RESPONDENT AGE DATE RESIDENCE

1. Black Rose 15 3/10/98 Washington, DC 2. DeShawn 15 5/19/98

3. Goldie 15 3/1/98 Fort Washington, MD 4. Cairo 16 8/20/97 Washington, DC

5. Chandler 16 1/8/98

6. Destiny 16 3/25/98 Fort Washington, MD 7. Makie 16 9/19/97 Washington, DC

8. Michelle 16 1/25/98

9. Outgoing 16 9/9/97 Oxon Hill, MD

10. Cerrissa 17 8/21/97 Washington, DC 11. Jasmyne 17 6/2/97

12. Kamala 17 4/30/97

13. Keisha 17 9/24/97

14. Lisa 17 11/11/97 Fort Washington, MD

15. Rose 17 1/31/98 Bowie, MD

16. Snoopy 17 1/31/98 Bowie, MD

17. Tree 17 9/22/97 Washington, DC 18. December 18 1/16/98

19. Elizabeth 18 1/10/97 College Park, MD

20. Juanita 18 11/11/97 Washington, DC 21. Lisa 18 5/27/97

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LONG INTERVIEWS continued

INTERVIEW RESPONDENT AGE DATE RESIDENCE 22. Tanita 18 11/15/97 Washington, DC

23. Zaisha 18 9/24/97 (£

24. Zaloniah 18 1/16/98 a

25. Cheryl 19 1/28/98 a 26. Jordan 19 10/8/97 a

27. Kim 19 1/26/98 ««

28. Nikky 19 10/1/97

29. Rachael 19 1/26/98

30. Robin 19 11/11/97

31. Scratchy 19 11/18/97 cc

32. Anastacia 20 12/10/97

33. Destiny 20 8/19/97 «

34. Jaelin 20 10/1/97

35. Mildred 20 9/23/97 College Park, MD

36. Mimi 20 8/7/97 Washington, DC

37. Solange 20 10/8/97

38. Stephanie 20 1/17/98

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257

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FOCUS NUMBER OF AGE OF DATE GROUPS REPONDENTS RESPONDENTS

American University 7 18 - 20 5/3/98

Bowie, MD 8 15-17 5/16/98

Howard University 8 18 - 20 4/26/98

TOTAL NUMBER OF RESPONDENTS 23

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