Lutheran Men in Mission Building Men for Christ

Summer 2018 foundations Our vision is for all men to become bold and daring followers of Jesus Christ. Summer 2018 Challenge RAGBRAI: A Ride Across for Christ, Men and LMM By Doug Haugen

MM knows that men’s health is to have great conversations about made up of physical, mental, and faith, and raise awareness and support spiritual components. If any one for LMM. RAGBRAI – The Register’s of the three is squishy, our lives Annual Great Bicycle Ride Across Iowa Lare often out of balance. While ministry — takes place July 22-28, 2018. to men should first point people to The almost 500-mile ride goes through Jesus and provide spiritual health care, portions of all three Iowa synods. We we know that being in healthy commu- have 22 riders and five support vol- nity supports mental health, and men unteers on this ride. If you missed the should focus on being as physically opportunity to sign up to ride, you still active and healthy as possible. have the opportunity to support the Lutheran Men in Mission is sponsoring team financially to support the mission TEAM LMM for RAGBRAI 2018. For of LMM and help grow men’s ministry the past several summers, a group of throughout the Lutheran Church. men and women have saddled up for If you talk to the men and women a 7-day non-competitive bike tour riding on TEAM LMM this year, you riding across Iowa. It’s a lot of fun and is a great workout, but is also a chance RAGBRAI, continued on page 5

Doug Haugen and Kyle Pedersen dip their tires in the on the western edge of Iowa on the first day of the ride.

LMM’s RAGBRAI team of bikers toured Iowa in a 7-day 500-mile scenic ride. Bible, continued on page 3

Lutheran Men in Mission Spring 2018 1 From the Executive Director

Rising to the challenges on’t let anyone ever tell you that Iowa is flat. The first RAG- The foundations newsletter is BRAI I rode with team LMM was 2015 with my mountain sent to all who contribute to the ministry of Lutheran Men bike special I had picked up at the local sporting goods in Mission. Your contribution store. That was a heavy bike and I could feel its weight along ensures that foundations will Dwith mine as we chugged up the hills. In 2016 I upgraded my bike continue to be sent to you. only to discover a route that was one steep hill after another.

Our vision for foundations is To prepare I trained, I ate well and I had friends who encouraged me and on the ride. I had the that it be a source of personal spiritual growth, as well as a team. With that, I climbed. Even when I am separated from those who encourage, I hear their source of information for those voices to pedal on. involved in congregational men’s ministries. Please contact The steep hills were a grinding challenge, but at the crest of every hill there were rewards — the us to share your stories of sense of accomplishment mixed with the inspiring splendor of picturesque farms wrapped in men’s ministry that we can use rolling fields and rivers. Then, of course, there was the next hill! in future issues, or to let us know what topics and issues When bicycling, three things are essential: you’re interested in seeing Even when I featured in foundations. ■■ The right equipment ■ am separated Lutheran Men in Mission ■ The right people 8765 W. Higgins Road ■■ Energy and fuel from those who , IL 60631-4101 lutheranmeninmission.org That is true as well in our ministry. As we look at all that encourage, I hear projecttwelve.net is going on in our families and in our culture today, we see their voices to that producing bold and daring followers of Jesus Christ is a Doug Haugen steep climb indeed. But the reward is healthy men impacting pedal on. Executive Director families and our culture for the generations that follow us. [email protected] 773-380-2566 We have what it takes to make that impact. We are equipped with Gospel (good news) of Jesus Christ. We have the right people — including you! And we have the fuel of prayer, fellowship Kevin Burke and, yes, funding. Discipling Consultant The great challenge that you read about on the front page is making the ride this year more fun [email protected] 920-562-1411 than ever. I invite you to be a part of the fuel to raise $60,000 by 3 p.m. on Saturday, July 28, so we can meet the challenge of seeing to it that every man becomes a bold and daring follower of Kyle Pedersen Jesus Christ. Emerging Ministries Consultant With your prayers, and with your gift, you will be with us! [email protected] Doug Haugen, Executive Director Vic Williams Lutheran Men in Mission foundations editor/writer [email protected] [email protected] Kathryn Brewer foundations designer

2 Lutheran Men in Mission Spring 2018 Bold Gathering Goes Digital First-Ever Streaming Event A Success

By Kevin Burke

uring the Bold Gathering Streaming event on April 14, Kyle Pedersen com- pared foxes and hedgehogs. DHe referred to a story by Isiah Berlin that talks about how the two ani- mals active differently. The fox is, “all over the place.” The hedgehog meanwhile, “does one thing very well… how do we be a hedgehog and focus on that one thing?”

LMM overall is figuring out the Last year at our National Gathering, things we do really well and are I told you my goal in my work It was fun hearing putting emphasis on those. Rather of being Simple, Consistent and how men from the than having everyone scattered, the Reproducible. By reproducing, that Board structure has individuals in doesn’t mean we don’t tweak, mod- Carolinas, Ohio, niche areas. Discipleship, Events, ify or try new things. LMM actually Texas, Washington and Emerging Ministries and Network- took our large-scale event, the Bold ing and Communication ministry Gathering, and we modified it. This many other locations groups are each lead by an individ- was done to fulfill some requests, were tuning in and ual that has a passion for that and reach new audiences and share they are focused on it. important messages in the best way engaging the speakers. possible. Speakers for most scenarios men encounter: A Trying something new man’s identity, how groups need Streaming BOLD LMM has never tried to do an to adaptive and open to healthy all-online, mass-audience event like change, and several things were Gathering Event this before. We weren’t even sure Bold Gathering, continued on page 4 Rob Nelson, Wisconsin: “Reaching how to accomplish it, but … we young families and singles knew we needed to try. Thus, — creating vital, open and Bold Gathering Streaming was welcoming community for young launched. We got a core group men, women and children” of leaders together who had Men of Bethany in Nebraska share similar visions. They reached their OYTL experiences out to talented speakers, and asked them to lend their voices Jason Adams streaming from Nevada: “Building communities to our goal. Then on a Saturday online and in real life” morning in a very cool Omaha church building LMM started Ed Nichols, Iowa: “Orphan broadcasting live all across the to Slave to Son” country. John Bustard, Nebraska: “Tips and strategies to effectively The speakers included pastors take men deeper” and lay men. The topics they brought were well crafted, Kyle Pederson, Iowa: “Why change with your men’s ministry is hard” from the heart and related to Lutheran Men in Mission Spring 2018 3 Bold Gathering, continued from page 3 Yes, they were recorded! That is one of the great things about shared about relationships and how these events, and how we are we build those in small groups and building up a bank of recorded electronically. resources. The videos are now available online, 24/7, 365 days Throughout the process of that day, a year! Having a conversation only a very few problems arose. It with a friend and a similar topic was fun hearing how men from the comes and you want to reference Carolinas, Ohio, Texas, Washington an exact speaker statement? Pull and many other locations were it up and watch. Want to start a tuning in and engaging the speak- men’s group meeting by watch- ers. We heard how groups that met ing a Mantalk session and then were asked each other questions discuss what was heard? Pull it and going deeper into the subject up and watch. These are LMM matter. There were eager voices tools now available to you. wanting to know if these speaking We want relationships periods (Mantalk sessions) were And more! being recorded so they could go to build as you hear Due to the success of the event back, re-listen and shared with and great feedback from those influential speakers, others. who registered, LMM is now in the discuss what was said process of planning Bold Gathering and maybe even share Online — Fargo Edition. On Satur- day, October 27, we will offer new a meal. speakers with new topics in similar Mantalk sessions. Details are being drafted out now and speakers are as you hear influential speakers, being asked to prayerfully consider discuss what was said and maybe being a part of this growing event. even share a meal while you’re at it.

Registration will open this summer. Visit the Lutheran Men in Mission Once you have registered, you YouTube channel to watch any or will be able to link up that fall day all of the Mantalk speakers. Join anywhere your electronic device us October 27 as hear from more has internet service. You can join passionate speakers on how we can in by yourself from your home or a live more boldly in God’s Kingdom restaurant. However, our planning here and now. team is hoping this creates an Kyle Pedersen speaks at the opportunity for a group of men to first-ever Bold Gathering gather in experience this together. Streaming event on April 14. We want relationships to build

4 Lutheran Men in Mission Spring 2018 RAGBRAI, continued from page 1 will find a common theme among them. They know the importance of being advocates for Christ in their circles of influence in their communities. They know they are bringing the light of Christ into each conversation. Many of our team members participate in other cycling events for causes in their communities. Mark Juhl rides in the Wellness On Wheels ride to support his local community health center. Jim Monkman organizes and rides on a team for the American Diabetes Association Tour de Cure ride in Colorado and in Texas every year. Bill Punyko rides on a team for the Minnesota Multiple Sclerosis (MS 150) 150-mile ride. Kyle Pedersen rides a single-day 200-mile ride called Break The Cycle 200, which raises awareness and does advocacy work sur- rounding sex trafficking.

Mark, Jim, Bill and Kyle will dip their bicycle tires in the Missouri River on July 22, ride nearly 500 miles and dip them in the Mississippi on July 28. As the team pedals across Iowa, they will share what LMM is doing to keep men spiritually, physically and mentally fit with the 20,000 other riders from around the country and men in every community they pass through.

But the mileage is not the greatest challenge. Four LMM leaders have committed $60,000 in matching funds, and are personally challenging you and others to match that gift by the time the team dips their tires in the Mississippi at about 3 p.m. central time on Saturday, July 28. We invite you to join us for the live Facebook Live celebration.

To be a part of meeting this great challenge go to www. LutheranMeninMission.org and click“SupportLMM” or text your gift to (773) 917-8167.

Another way you might join in the challenge: Organize a local bicycle fun ride (however long or short you want it to be) on July 28. It could be as simple as calling friends and meeting at a trail. Please take a photo and share it with us. If you raise any funds, consider splitting it between local ministries and our matching effort.

When you consider your circles of influence, who is God leading you to spend time with? Consider your passions, even if it’s not cycling, and find ways to put that to use!

Learn more about the history and details of the world’s oldest, largest, longest bike tour, which just happens to be across Iowa, check out RAGBRAI.com. Check Doug Haugen joyfully dips Team LMM’s daily updates from 2015 and 2016 at www. his tires (and toes) in the ReachingMen.Blogspot.com, along with updates from this on the year’s ride. You’ll feel like you are pedaling alongside eastern edge of Iowa at the them! Well, almost. end of the ride.

Lutheran Men in Mission Spring 2018 5 An Accidental Mentor The Father-Son Thing Is Fraught, But Faith Abides By Vic Williams

hen my son Alex was Back to that third coaching year: 10 years old, I was A few days before yet another He was echoing my in the third year of fall match beneath sweet Nevada own misguided concept coaching his soccer skies, and more than a year into team.W The first season I had no idea my second marriage, Alex’s mom of how a tough guy what I was doing, but the kids did, and I “got into it” as I dropped the handles himself. playing their way to the league kids off after a weekend visit. I championship, where we lost in a won’t go into the causes or specifics squeaker. Our best player, a wiry but suffice it to say the kids saw a That moment of reversal — boy and speedy forward, cried. I hadn’t decidedly ugly and unmanly side showing Dad who the true adult expected that. I thought he was a of their old man. I left them gaping American male was — didn’t hit me “tough guy.” at me through the screen door with right away, but over the interceding a mixture of sadness and bleak two decades, it has stuck with me. I should have known better — not acceptance. They’d seen their share I had stumbled my way through that he wasn’t tough, but that not of flare-ups between their mom and much of Alex’s formative years crying, that sucking it up, was a me, but for me, this was a new low. while maintaining, as best I could, prerequisite to toughness. But as an Even God had to be disappointed a veneer of strength and above-it-all American man culturally inculcated in me. I drove home shaking with certainty. So when my wounds into adulthood through sports shame. showed themselves in those tears and action movies and schoolyard that night, my only son (I’ve since boasting, my personal definition of When I picked Alex up for practice fathered two more daughters) tried what it is to be a man, while com- a day or two later, I held in that to push them back under the sur- mon, was understandably skewed. shame for as long as I could, in my face. He didn’t want to be witness to best stiff-upper-lip manner. Then, his father’s weakness. Not that I hadn’t shed my share of as I pulled up in a parking spot next tears over the years, particularly to our practice field, I broke down, Over the next decade Alex strug- during and after the upheaval of weeping as I blubbered an apology gled with securing his own place divorce from Alex’s mom. In classic to my young son. His response? between the poles of culturally Nevada style the divorce proceeding required, emotionally remote “man- itself was quick and (relatively) “It’s OK, Dad. Don’t cry.” hood” and vulnerable, flawed and painless, and I was blessed to Clearly I’d taught him macho well. flailing authentic manhood. He got remain an involved and supportive Sure, he’d seen me cry before, into fights in middle school before Dad to Alex and his younger sister, including at my second wedding finding his academic footing in high as the overwhelming majority of as a five-year-old, but as he raced school and college, all the while divorced fathers are. toward pre-pubescence and the working as many hours as he could That involvement continued into male minefield of the teen years to fend off restlessness and channel my second marriage, which now beyond, he was echoing my own his anger issues into productivity enters its 25th year, but those misguided concept of how a tough and making money, which became years between marriages tested guy handles himself. and remains his main driver in life. and expanded my understanding He joined the Army, got married, of manhood. I struggled with served in Afghanistan and, over anger and fear and bouts and the past few years, has worked in self-loathing. My relationship with Djibouti, Africa, as a private intel a truly incredible woman helped contractor. I’ve seen him in person me through it, as did Alex and his just a handful of days since 2010, sister, simply by loving me for who and not at all since summer 2015. I am. We’re political opposites, which

6 Lutheran Men in Mission Spring 2018 I still have faith that somehow, some way, Jesus’ cleansing and freeing love will find his way to Alex. PHOTO © ISTOCK/FRANCES COCH ISTOCK/FRANCES © PHOTO has caused some strain, but our in rage after a huge row with his and that truly hurts my soul. intermittent phone and Skype mom back in his later teen years. But I still have faith that somehow, conversations remain comfortable, The tough guy shtick I’d taught some way, Jesus’ cleansing and free- light and, at some level, loving. He’s him early on, which soldierhood ing love will find his way to Alex. I been long his own man by now. and solitary work ethic had only strengthened as the years blew by, have a feeling I’ll be called upon to Fast forward to this spring, when was very much intact. be a catalyst for whatever turning I got a call from his wife, tearfully to the light Alex will experience, a revealing that she was divorcing Or was it? A day after my first vessel for the change of spirit he so Alex after eight years, most of them conversation with Alex, his sister desperately needs. He still says he separate from him due to service reported that he had indeed cried loves me every time we talk, and I and work. She’d had enough, when he got on the phone with his cherish that. But there’s so much intimating that his anger issues mom. “For 45 minutes,” she said. more I can do and be for him, with had something to do with it. She Jesus’ help, and perhaps a little help Perhaps I had mentored him in that waited to hit him with the news from my fellow men. I’d love to get way, too, at some level, way back until he had returned home from him to a OYTL retreat, for instance, when — the way of true, open, Djibouti after being reassigned due though the dark part of me insists fearless manhood. But the fact to a run-in with a Somali soldier. I he’d never do it. remains he won’t let the real Alex, can’t say it was a total shock to me the wounded little kid who still On that note, I extend my hand — marriage by 8,000-mile remote lives in his heart, show through to to you: If you’ve experienced such control isn’t a marriage at all, if me, because guys just don’t go there. crossroads moments with your son, you ask me — but I was, of course, It’s somewhere in the unwritten or brother, or father, or friend, and deeply dismayed and saddened. masculine mask handbook. Instead found your way to a place where Nor was it a shock to Alex himself, he keeps his ass-kicking hat on, two men can be authentically who said as much during our first hiring a take-no-prisoners lawyer themselves with each other without phone conversation, though I could and pledging go to the mattresses all the cultural masculine baggage hear the hurt and disorientation with his soon-to-be-ex-wife since so many of us lug on our weary in his voice. But he never hinted she wouldn’t accept his initial, backs, I’d welcome your voice, your at showing his true emotions. He generous offer (monetarily, anyway) encouragement, your open spirit. wouldn’t cry “in front of” his old to make the divorce as painless and E-mail me at [email protected] man, and hadn’t since he wept quick as possible. It could get ugly, anytime.

Lutheran Men in Mission Spring 2018 7 From the President

Building Our Way to a Bold, Bright Future

he Annual Meeting this year was highlighted by goal and our expenses from the presentations from nine of your LMM officers and 2017 Bold Gathering in Minne- directors as well as a moving, personal testimony apolis exceeded our income by from one of our One Year to Live alumni brothers, over $17,000. However, we are TTim Snyder, from Hendersonville, North Carolina. The forecasting a small surplus for meeting was unique as all of our speakers were in different the current operating year as we believe with your help, locations, coming from both coasts and many points in our revenues will exceed expenses. Our expenses are between. Our sincere thanks goes to Steve Brown of Omaha, lower this year because we now only have two full-time Nebraska, who was the webmaster for our meeting. He made staff members — our Executive Director, Doug Haugen sure that all of our presentations went seamlessly across the and our Discipleship Consultant, Kevin Burke. Further, country and that everyone was over 71 percent of our planned expenses for the current able to see and hear all the pre- year are being devoted to our four ministry areas: Disci- All of our senters in real time. We used the pleship, Emerging Ministries, Events and Networking/ speakers were Zoom chat line to address some Communications. comments raised by participants In addition to a report from Doug on LMM’s overall in different during the meeting and answers operations, each of our four ministry directors gave us to their comments were provided specific information on the current activities within their locations, while the meeting was being con- respective ministry areas. Jason Adams gave us an update ducted. Finally, the entire meeting coming from on Project Twelve and what is happening on their website. was recorded and will soon be Bernie Bressen provided information from our April Bold both coasts and available for everyone to view on Gathering and announced the next national event will be both the LMM YouTube channel many points in the Bold Gathering from Fargo, North Dakota on October and our LMM Facebook page. A 27. Our Networking and Communications Director Sean between. link to the meeting will also be Forde gave us an update on the LMM Ambassador pro- available on the LMM website. gram and invited any participant at the meeting to join in with that group. Tim Crout reported on the significant Gathering Gains impact that our One Year to Live retreats continues to At our Tri-annual LMM Assembly in Minneapolis last year, have on individual men’s lives and how he is making we changed our Bylaws to call for an Annual Meeting of all progress with the small group discipleship training. Our LMM voting delegates to inform everyone of our progress in Vice President Tom Lucas gave us an update on LMM’s living out our vision and mission as well as reporting on the initiative to provide Disaster Recovery Efforts for the peo- financial condition of LMM. Further, we will conduct any ple in the US Virgin Islands. Finally, Jeff Kuchenbecker, official LMM business at the Annual Meeting, including, but Chairman of the LMM Development Council, thanked not limited to, the election of officers, presentation of any for- everyone for their support for all of our ministries and mal resolutions and adoption of any changes to our Articles gave an impassioned plea for additional support to help of Incorporation and Bylaws. At the 2018 Annual Meeting no us grow each of these ministries as described earlier by elections were necessary and there were not any resolutions or each director. changes to our legal documents that needed the approval of the voting delegates. However, we anticipate that the election We continue to ask for your prayers, your participation of officers will be needed in future Annual Meetings. and your financial support as we move forward together to live out our vision for every man to be a bold, daring Giving With Grace follower of Jesus Christ. While LMM remains in sound financial condition and our net Your Brother in Christ, assets increased last year by over $154,000, we had a $35,493 shortfall in operations for the fiscal year ending January 31, Hal Derrick, President, Lutheran Men in Mission 2018. Our donor contributions did not reach the anticipated [email protected]

Lutheran Men in Mission Online You can find us online at our website lutheranmeninmission.org, or on:

and the Reaching Men blog at reachingmen.blogspot.com

8 Lutheran Men in Mission Spring 2018 Join the Book Excerpt: Heritage Society How To Disciple Men

e would like to thank utheran Men in Mission’s Kevin Burke was these generous donors one of 45 men’s ministry leaders from a who have guaranteed wide variety of men’s ministries to author the future of our the recently released book, How to Disciple ministryW by remembering Lutheran LMen. Here are some excerpts from Kevin’s chap- Men in Mission in their estate ter titled Reaching Men on the Fringe. Permission planning. If your name should be on here, or if you would like to granted by Broadstreet Publishing. include Lutheran Men in Mission in How do we define “the fringe”? Someone your estate planning, please contact beyond our standards or expectations? Is it a Doug Haugen at 773-380-2566/ [email protected] unit of measurement set by society? Is it set by the Bible? If so, Old Testament? Western HERITAGE SOCIETY translation or Eastern? Allen and Joyce Anderson Often people on the fringe feel as if they Harold and Esther Arne cannot be heard. Or perhaps worse, they feel Fred Bohls they are heard and are ostracized because of Bernard and Christine Bresson what they say or how they present them- Lon and Deborah Buss selves. In many cases, an individual may Livingston Chrichlow have values virtually identical to most of the Tim and Belenda Crout members of your men’s group, but be simply feels like and outsider. In other Mark and Judy Dahl cases, he is wrestling with unrepentant sin in his life, trying to sort out Sean and Susan Forde right from wrong. Of course, Romans 3:23 confirms, “All have sinned and James and Deanne Gerking fall short of the glory of God.” But as a church, do we exclude some sinners Thomas Green more than others? Are there sins that would prevent you from inviting Doug and Doris Haugen another man to the table? Those who steal, covet, or commit adultery? What Ruby and Daniel Joy about murder? Ken Kahler It’s also worth remembering that we can thoughtfully invite and warmly Steve Laine love, but there will still be those who don’t feel welcome. Never forget, any- Douglas and Ann Larson one who views himself as an outsider is an outsider. If you are committed to Ruth C Lindahl reaching these men, then you must also commit to affirming their feelings. Jeff and Judy Mason Richard Miller Finally, check your motives. Don’t seek out men on the fringe – or any man Larry and Deanna Moeller – with the goal of “saving them” or convincing them to join your church. Larry and Vickie Nines Your motive should be relationship for the sake of relationship. Wesley Oestreich Relationships are not based on ulterior motives. We are called to talk about Henry and Margaret discipling in a church classroom, but what about when you are wakened by Ogden-Howe a 2 a.m. phone call? Are you willing to get into the crap of life with them Donovan “Jerry” Paul then? As a friends and pastoral leader, do these men know they can call you Heber and Gloria Rast anytime, for anything? As difficult as that is, that’s the goal. Once you’ve Darrel S. Rice acquired that awesome bond, you know it. It’s the I’d-walk-through-fire- William and Dorothy wearing-gasoline-boxers-for-you type of bond (an actual quote from a men’s Schleichert retreat). Charles and Geneva Schwartz LeRoy and Ruth Simonson How to Disciple Men may be purchased at broadstreetpublishing.com for $14.99. Norman and Kathie Smith Kay Synder Mark and Rhonda Vaughan Richard and Christine White

Lutheran Men in Mission Spring 2018 9 foundations Lutheran Men in Mission Evangelical Lutheran Church in America 8765 West Higgins Road Chicago, IL 60631 lutheranmeninmission.org projecttwelve.net

UPCOMING LMM EVENTS&programs One Year To Live Retreats

September 14-16 Egan Camp, Tahlequak, Oklahoma

September 21-23 Mackenzie Camp, Poynette, Wisconsin

September 21-23 Tracy Camp, Pine Wood, South Carolina

September 28-30 Highlands Camp & Retreat Center, Allenspark, CO

October 5-7 San Diego, California

October 26-28 Camp Shaw, Manteno, Illinois

November 2-4 EWALU Strawberry Point, Iowa November 2-4 Emmanuel Pines Camp, Prescott, Arizona

Visit http://www.lutheranmeninmission.org/ events/one-year-to-live/ for more information PHOTO © ISTOCK/DEMAERRE

10 Lutheran Men in Mission Spring 2018