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RESOURCE PAGES Print entire issue CURRENT WEB MAGAZINE ISSUE Web Magazine ARTICLE ARCHIVE Growing Up in an Interfaith Family CONNECTIONS IN YOUR AREA Issue 212: July 10, 2007 BLOGS FEATURED ARTICLES DISCUSSION BOARDS What Leads Children of NEWS AND ADVOCACY Intermarriage to Identify as Jews? ABOUT IFF By Ron Lux, with material from JTA PRESS ROOM Adults with interfaith parents are the coming majority. But why do some "feel" Jewish STORE while other's don't? Read More
Find Better Left Undefined powered by FreeFind By Jasmin Singer Growing up with a hodgepodge of religious traditions left her with little taste for faith. Until Rocky the cat died.
Read More What Am I If Not Jewish?
By Judith van Praag
The child of a non-Jewish mother finds she constantly has to "prove" her Jewishness.
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Featured Partners/Funders/Links ALSO IN THIS ISSUE More Articles on Growing Up in an Interfaith Family
Chicken Soup Theology By Felice Indindoli Bochman Login
Login Name: How do you choose between Italian and Jewish? Born Without a Name By Tiffany Collins Password:
The child of an Israeli mother and Iranian father is less concerned about the religious divide than the political one. Not Signed Up? Find Out More. Chillin' with My Faux Jew 'Fro By Keenan Steiner
He didn't see himself as Jewish. But his friends do.
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A Half-Chinese, Half-Jewish Kid Conquers the Free Birthright Trip By Jon Block
He didn't get the girl. He got embarassed by the tour guide. But he understands now why Jews love Israel.
News
"In the Mix": From "Half-Jewish" to Rabbi By Julie Wiener
Heather Miller wanted to be a Jewish American Princess when she grew up. She got to be the next best thing: a rabbi. Faces of Change By CampusJ.com Forget Hillel. Young Jews from mixed marriages are connecting online, via facebook.
Arts and Entertainment
She's the Man: A Q&A with Amanda Bynes By Nate Bloom The Hairspray co-star talks with Nate about growing up interfaith, John Travolta's "glow" and her grandmother's matzoh brei. Interfaith Celebrities: Kyra Sedgwick, Baseball's Braun-y Interfaith Rookie and a Jewish Maori Director By Nate Bloom The star of TNT's "The Closer" talks about her Jewish background. Plus, young baseball star Ryan Braun and emerging director Taika (Cohen) Waititi. Emerging Canadian Star is a Happy "Half-Breed" By Andy Levy-Ajzenkopf
Half-Israeli, half-Ojibwa, Tamara Podemski is a name in Canada. Now she's seeking fame south of the border. Won't You Be My Neighbor? By Suzanne Koven
A new film examines marriage--and life--as a less violent form of cold war.
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CURRENT WEB MAGAZINE ISSUE What Leads Children of Intermarriage to Identify as ARTICLE ARCHIVE Jews? Life-Cycle Ceremonies By Ron Lux, with material from JTA Holidays A 2006 study of Jewish college students by Hillel: The Foundation for Jewish Campus Life Relationships showed that 47 percent of all self-identifying Jewish students on American college campuses came from interfaith homes. All demographic signs point to the adult children of intermarriage Love and Marriage as the coming majority. But at the same time, only half of the students surveyed saw themselves as Jewish by religion--compared to 90% of children from families with two Jewish Raising Children in Interfaith parents. Families "Almost half have backgrounds where they celebrate non-Jewish holidays, where they didn't Growing Up in an Interfaith Family grow up with the assumption that Jewish is the only way," said Clare Goldwater, Hillel's associate vice president for Jewish life. "They come from families with all sorts of religious and Interdating ethnic traditions."
Adoption So one is left to wonder: what factors lead the adult children of intermarriage to see Extended Family Relationships themselves as Jews?
Telling Parents About Religious In A Flame Still Burns, a study conducted Decisions for Your Children by the Jewish Outreach Institute in 2005, the researchers found that having a Jewish Grandparenting upbringing and having a Bar or Bat Mitzvah seem to be the strongest Divorce and Step-Family Issues determinant of later Jewish identity, with about a 90 percent correlation. Also, if the Travel mother is Jewish, the children tend to Multi-racial and Multi-cultural identify as Jewish more often (77%) than if Families the father is the Jewish parent (45%). A 2006 study of Jewish college students by Hillel: The Having an ongoing and close relationship Jewish-Muslim Relationships Foundation for Jewish Campus Life showed that 47 with a Jewish grandparent also has long- percent of Jewish students came from interfaith term positive effects on a Jewish identity. Gay Interfaith Relationships marriages. For Robin Margolis, her grandmother was Spirituality absolutely crucial for her Jewish identity. Margolis, who was raised as an Episcopalian, did not discover her mother was Jewish until after she died. Margolis had always been interested in Arts and Entertainment Judaism, but "when I contacted my long-estranged Jewish family," she recalled, "only my Jewish grandmother was willing to accept me." Margolis felt an immediate connection to her News and Opinion grandmother. "She strongly encouraged my newly-found Jewish identity," Margolis said. "Her support was very important, as it was hard for me to remain Jewish in the face of so many InterfaithFamily.com Jews at that time not wanting adult children of intermarriage in their communities." That's why InterfaithFamily.com Magazine Past Margolis later established the Half-Jewish Network, a website to help the adult children of Issues By Year intermarriage support each other.
CONNECTIONS IN YOUR AREA A family's relationships and beliefs are probably the most important factors leading to the religious identity of adult children of interfaith marriages. More than two-thirds of the BLOGS population studied in A Flame Still Burns identify with whatever religion their parents practiced at home. DISCUSSION BOARDS If there is no religious identity in the home, the children tend not to adopt any religious identity, Jewish or not. Some interfaith couples say, "We'll let the children decide what they want to be NEWS AND ADVOCACY when they grow up." Not only does that lead to "negligible Jewish identity" (A Flame Still Burns), but it could even lead to dysfunction. ABOUT IFF Laurel Snyder, a writer living in Atlanta, is the editor of Half Life, a collection of essays written PRESS ROOM by professional writers who were raised in interfaith families. She said, "From talking to hundreds of people, I've found that the kids who are the most damaged are those where there STORE was no decision (on religion). Kids need an identity. If there's no answer to 'What religion are you?', then these kids either become seekers where they embrace everything or they are afraid to embrace anything."
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powered by FreeFind Sometimes the non-Jewish parent can be the key to a child's Jewish upbringing. For example, Sarah Church's mother was Jewish and raised her as such, but with a name like Church, people questioned Sarah's Jewishness. Fortunately, her non-Jewish father was very supportive of her Jewish identity, even after her parents divorced. "He read me The Joys of Yiddish as a bedtime story," she remembers. "He enjoyed helping me learn Hebrew and at my Bat Mitzvah, he said, 'She taught me how to kvell (feel pride in the accomplishments of others).'" Andi Rosenthal also had a name to contend with, but on the
opposite end of the spectrum. "I was educated at parochial schools," she says, "but with a name like Rosenthal, the nuns looked at me funny." Her only exposure to Jewish life early on was attending Bar or Bat Mitzvahs of some of her father's family. After taking some Jewish studies courses in college, she eventually decided to convert and will enter rabbinical Featured school this fall. Partners/Funders/Links Reaching the Lost Population Of equal importance to discerning what factors can lead to Jewish identity is understanding what obstacles can hinder one. The organized Jewish community devotes few resources and Login time to this population, and hence many of them are "out of Laurel Snyder, editor of Half-Life, the loop." Part of the reason for that, according to Gary Tobin, a collection of essays by writers from interfaith homes, has found Login Name: president of the Institute for Jewish & Community Research, is that "there is not a whole lot in the Jewish community for that the most damaged children of intermarriage are those who anyone in their 20s and 30s, whether you're from a 'Jewish' or were raised by parents who didn't interfaith family. Synagogues and other Jewish organizations make a religious decision for Password: focus on families." them. And, of course, there is a compounding problem for interfaith children. According to traditional Jewish law, Jewishness is passed down through the mother. So while the child of a Jewish Not Signed Up? Find Out More. mother and non-Jewish father is considered Jewish by almost everyone, many people-- Jewish or not--do not consider the child of a non-Jewish mother and Jewish father as Jewish. Said Tobin, "There is a considerable part of the Jewish community that says, 'You're not Jewish.'" That's changing, due to the Reform and Reconstructionist movement's position that the children of Jewish fathers are Jews, as long as they were raised in the Jewish tradition, but Margolis likens Jewish acceptance of the child of a Jewish father to spinning a "roulette wheel." "Some let you join, while others say no. There could be two temples in the same neighborhood with opposing views," she said. The Secular Humanist movement, for example, recognizes as Jewish anyone who identifies with Jewish culture--regardless of their parentage. It is very upsetting for some who grew up practicing Judaism their whole life to learn that they now have to convert. "Dan" is a student in Australia who was born in Israel. He says, "I always considered myself Jewish. I grew up in Israel, then went to Jewish elementary school in Australia." But he was shocked to discover that his mother's mother was not Jewish. "Everything I had believed in all my life was shattered," he adds. "I learned my own home country, Israel, wouldn't consider me a Jew, nor would the Orthodox Jews for whom I had developed a deep respect. It left me without a solid identity." However, there is more attention and interest in the adult children of intermarriage now than at any time in the previous two decades, although it is still infrequent and ramdon. Some of it is self-generated, such as Margolis' website, but a few initiatives have originated in the "official" Jewish community. In Seattle, the local Jewish Family Service got together with Jconnect Seattle, a post-college program, to run a four-week discussion class in January for young adults from intermarried families. Just over three years ago, Rabbi Avis Miller of Congregation Adas Israel in Washington launched "Open Dor," a pun on the Hebrew word for "generation," a workshop for young adults "with mixed or non-Jewish ancestry." The Jewish Outreach Institute also consults with communities on how to reach the young adult children of intermarriage, while InterfaithFamily.com regularly publishes articles from this demographic. After its 2005 study, Hillel explored the idea of special programming for students from intermarried homes as part of its overall goal of becoming more welcoming and accessible. Ultimately Hillel decided against it, Goldwater said. "Everything we know from focus groups and Hillel professionals indicates that they are not interested in being singled out," Goldwater said. "It probably makes them feel even less included." It's not a monolithic group, anyway, which presents a challenge for programmers. "Some fully identify as Jewish, a percentage identify as half-Jewish, and others would be offended to be called half-Jewish," said Paul Golin, associate executive director of the Jewish
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Outreach Institute. Contrary to popular wisdom, the growing number of children of interfaith marriages may actually contribute to Jewish population growth. The 2005 Boston Community Study found that 60 percent of all children of intermarriage in the Boston area were being raised as Jews-- which means that intermarried couples were actually increasing the size of Boston's Jewish community. "Intermarriage is an opportunity, not a problem," said Tobin. "It's our response that is the problem." Some material taken from "Outreach Overlooking Children of Intermarried" (March 8, 2007), by Sue Fishkoff, JTA.
Ron Lux is a writer who lives in the San Fernando Valley of Los Angeles with his wife, Betsy and his children, Mara and Ethan. He is a member of the Writers Guild of America, the Animation Writers' Caucus and the Golf Writers Association and has written for television and national periodicals, including articles on Jewish communities in Brazil, Ireland, Wales and the Bahamas.
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CURRENT WEB MAGAZINE ISSUE Better Left Undefined ARTICLE ARCHIVE By Jasmin Singer Life-Cycle Ceremonies I have a memory of my mother laughing at my milk-and-cookie disappearing-act story and Holidays proclaiming, "Oh, Jasmin, there's no such thing as Santa Claus. You're Jewish!" Relationships My older brother, Jeremy, cackled out loud at this. There were still cookie crumbs on his shirt and dried milk caked onto the corners of his mouth, though I, at 5, convinced myself that it Love and Marriage was a fashion statement, and that Santa did, in fact, eat our Oreos. Raising Children in Interfaith It was the early-'80s then, and I had been Families hoping for a gift that was something Growing Up in an Interfaith fluorescent. Jeremy and I had just returned Family from our father's house where we celebrated Christmas, playing with our new Interdating Fisher-Price train set in fast motion, knowing that we had only limited time Adoption before we were due home to celebrate Hanukkah with our mother. Extended Family Relationships Mom was Jewish, and thus my brother and Telling Parents About Religious I were enrolled in Hebrew School one day Decisions for Your Children a week at a progressive Reform synagogue, where lots of the kids had two Grandparenting mommies. By the time I was 8, Mom Divorce and Step-Family Issues married Wayne, my current step-dad of nearly 20 years, and he brought a big plastic Christmas tree into the house and boldly set it beside Mom's menorah. All of a sudden, my Travel mother, who had previously dismissed my story of Santa for fear that I might grow up to be a nun, was setting out stockings with puffy-paint letters spelling out my name. Multi-racial and Multi-cultural Families Oh, what devotion can do.
Jewish-Muslim Relationships My childhood was a cataclysm of religions, faiths, and Hallmark celebrations. Around the holidays, Mom used to keep a Hanukkah room and a Christmas room. To get from one to the Gay Interfaith Relationships other, my brother and step-dad were kindly instructed to leave their yarmulkes on the bread box in the hallway. Spirituality "Remember, you're Jewish," Mom would say as she handed us our stocking-stuffers. "We are Arts and Entertainment celebrating your step-father and respecting his holiday."
News and Opinion His holiday. I was shocked, years later, when I found out that Christmas was, in fact, Jesus' birthday. I had always assumed it was Wayne's. InterfaithFamily.com Jewish to me was not a religion, it was a race. I was Jewish just as my dad's mom was Italian InterfaithFamily.com Magazine Past or Michael Jackson was black (he was, back then). Jewish meant that my grandma could Issues By Year teach me how to curse in Yiddish, that I could eat candy apples on Purim, that my cousins and I could taste a tiny bit of the sickeningly sweet Manischewitz wine each Passover. It was CONNECTIONS IN YOUR AREA a culture, a tradition, but not a religion.
BLOGS By the time I got to college, I did like any nice Jewish girl would and rebelled. I decided that all religion was bogus and insisted on maintaining that I was atheist. I read depressing poetry, DISCUSSION BOARDS smoked clove cigarettes, and, on the exhale, proclaimed, "All religion was created out of fear, anyway." I was so smart. NEWS AND ADVOCACY Until, that is, my cat Rocky died. When Rocky died and his spirit was as vibrant and palpable ABOUT IFF as ever, lovingly haunting my mother's New Jersey home, I knew that there had to be something deeper than meets the eye. This is when I began to separate the concept of PRESS ROOM religion from the idea of belief and the role of intention. The truth is, it doesn't really matter how I define myself. My childhood taught me that we are STORE all a whole lot closer to one another than people want to think. My step-dad, my father, Santa, the gay parents of my Hebrew school classmates, even my dead cat Rocky--we are all just trying to do good by the power of a bigger source. For me, that source is universal, and involves all beings of all backgrounds.
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powered by FreeFind My Hebrew school teachers preached that Jews are "the chosen people." With respect to Abrahamic religions and traditions, I have found that once anything or anyone is deemed "chosen," we are given (or take) unjust power. My spirituality consists of a grounded awareness that none of us are "chosen"; rather, we are all sentient, including both human and non-human animals alike.
Though I carry my Jewish heritage with me as a link to my mother and her mother, it was a culmination of my interfaith upbringing, my progressive bra-burning mother, and my own deviance that have led me to question authority. By doing so, I have weeded out the religious and traditional aspects of my childhood that haven't served me, held onto the parts that have, and created a delicious smorgasbord of this and that, which may be better left undefined.
Jasmin Singer is a freelance writer based in New York City. Visit her at www.jasminsinger.com. Featured Partners/Funders/Links
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CURRENT WEB MAGAZINE ISSUE What Am I If Not Jewish? ARTICLE ARCHIVE By Judith van Praag Life-Cycle Ceremonies As a small child I had no idea that my father was Jewish and my mother was not. My Holidays grandparents from both sides were dead, there were no uncles, aunts, or cousins (that I was aware of); it was just the three of us. Relationships In 1948 when my parents met, Jaap (my father) was 50, Nita (my mother) 31. He had lived Love and Marriage through two world wars. His father had died in 1918 during the flu epidemic; his mother, stepfather, sister and her family were murdered in Auschwitz, and his sailor brother was killed Raising Children in Interfaith Families in 1942, when his ship was torpedoed. Jaap's son from his first marriage didn't seem interested in having children, and his second wife lost faith in their marriage after the stillbirth Growing Up in an Interfaith of their baby boy in April of 1945. All Jaap wanted after the Holocaust was to start another Family family.
Interdating Nita, who was raised in the French Reformed Church, was non-observant, in love, and on top of Adoption that eager to make good what had been done wrong to the Jewish people. Recognizing Jaap's artistic Extended Family Relationships talents, and sensing that creativity would save his, and therefore their, sanity, she told him she was Telling Parents About Religious willing to raise their possible offspring in the Jewish Decisions for Your Children faith, but insisted she would marry him only if he Grandparenting would become a professional artist. He took her up on this challenge, became a card-carrying member Divorce and Step-Family Issues of the Artists Federation, and wed my mother in March of 1951. Four years later I was born. Travel The Liberal Rabbi Jacob Soetendorp of the Liberaal Multi-racial and Multi-cultural Joodse Gemeente (LJG or Reform Jewish Families Congregation) in Amsterdam, open to the era's changing times, understood how difficult it could be Jewish-Muslim Relationships for men Jaap's age to find a Jewish partner after the Holocaust; the Shul's cantor was married to a gentile Gay Interfaith Relationships woman. Interfaith families could feel welcome there. Spirituality My parents may have taken me to the synagogue at an earlier age, but I think I must have been 4 when I Arts and Entertainment was called to the bimah (altar where the Torah is News and Opinion read) for Kiddush for the first time. I remember the thrill, joining the other children for the blessing, receiving the silver goblet, and sipping the InterfaithFamily.com Sabbath wine.
InterfaithFamily.com Magazine Past I attended Hebrew Sunday School, studied the alphabet, and sang Israeli folk songs. Issues By Year However, at 7, before I learned how to create words with the characters, we moved away from Amsterdam. Up north, at the point where the borders of three provinces meet, the only CONNECTIONS IN YOUR AREA remainder of a Jewish community was a small graveyard and a tiny defunct temple. On our farm, out in the fields, my father recited the blessings over wine and bread. Years later when it BLOGS was my turn to light the candles, I realized I never heard or saw my mother do so.
DISCUSSION BOARDS My mother baked a killer kugel 'n' pears, her chicken soup was to die for. She rolled a mean matzah ball, during Pesach she fried the best matzo-brei gremsjelich, and for Hanukkah, NEWS AND ADVOCACY delicious latkes--but to convert was not an option for her. "You can't become a Jew," she said, "You can only be born a Jew." ABOUT IFF In this she contradicted my father, who claimed that David Ben Gurion, the first Prime Minister PRESS ROOM of Israel, said that anyone who felt Jewish was Jewish.
STORE If my skin broke out after eating pork or North-sea shrimp my father had me peel, he would say, "God punishes right away." With that remark he put a thought in my mind that he, a 100 percent Jew could do as he pleased, while I, the daughter who had not lain under a Jewish heart (meaning my mother was gentile), would always be judged with different measures. I
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powered by FreeFind learned early on that "Father Jews," as we're called in the Netherlands, "patrilineals" as we're called here, aren't cut much slack. That notion has been confirmed many a time since. My father said he raised me Jewish for two reasons: because he didn't want Hitler to have won after all, and so I would know what being Jewish entailed when a neighbor would single me out and say, "There's a Jew."
The summer before my 12th birthday I spent a fortnight at the home of Rabbi Soetendorp. Uncle Jaap supposedly coached me for my Bat Mitzvah, the coming of age for a Jewish girl, but all we did was chat about life on our way to synagogue, where I hung out during his office
hours, or at the deli where he noshed on kosher, but health-wise forbidden foods. At home, in his office, he made me close my books, waiving the requirement of studying Hebrew. He must have known it would have been in vain, considering the rules to which the Dutch Jewish community at large adhered. Since my mother hadn't converted, I would have had to do so myself. I know my father thought that would have made no sense: How could a daughter of his, a child that was being raised Jewish, not already be Jewish? Featured Jaap died when I was 13, and while Nita enrolled me with Ichoed Haboniem, a Jewish youth Partners/Funders/Links organization, and she continued to be a member of LJG, I was never called to the Torah. My father's stubbornness rubbed off and I have chosen never to convert since I consider myself already Jewish.
I live a Jewish life, keep a kosher home, and feel as if I am being dealt some sour grapes when a "true Jew" tells me I am not Jewish. Login
Login Name: Nita's Kugel and Pears, after Oma Judith Engelsman-van Praag's recipe "Good Kugel's got to weep tears of butter."
Password: Ingredients:
3 and 3/4 cups of sifted flour 1 and 1/4 cup sweet butter Not Signed Up? Find Out More. 1 and 1/4 cup sugar another 1 and ¼ cup sugar ¾ cup raisins 1/3 cup almonds 1/3 cup ginger in liquid ½ teaspoon cinnamon lemon peel 1 lbs. stewing pears 1 cup pear juice pinch of salt
Directions: Peel, core and halve pears. Stew the fruit in ½-1 cup of water, with 1 ¼ cup of sugar and half of the lemon peel, in a deep Dutch oven (with metal handles). Stir butter in mixing bowl, until soft. Add ginger liquid, and pear juice. Mix flour, sugar, washed raisins, blanched and chopped almonds together, add remainder of lemon peel (chopped) and add to butter mixture. Stir until dough hangs on to wooden spoon. Put dough ball onto the half-done, stewed pears, touching the sides of the pan. Make sure the juice doesn't spill over the dough. If cooked further on stovetop, close pan well with lid, temper heat source and cook for five hours. If cooked in moderate oven, bake without lid, for three hours. Cut like pie with spatula and serve small slices, plain, or with whipped cream or custard sauce. Do go for stroll afterwards (or be rolled about). "Mag het U welbekomen." (May you digest it well). P.S. I would consider serving this like upside down pie. P.P.S. I never knew my Oma Judith, as she was killed in Auschwitz. My father Jacob (1898- 1969) taught my mother Nita (1917-2002) how to make his favorite dessert and she made it on a petroleum burner, cooking it for five hours, just to get it right.
Judith van Praag is a Dutch artist and bilingual writer, and author of the book Creative Acts of Healing: After a Baby Dies (Paseo
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Press, 1999). She lives in Seattle, Wash., with her husband Gary and dog Mocha.
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CURRENT WEB MAGAZINE ISSUE Chicken Soup Theology ARTICLE ARCHIVE By Felice Indindoli Bochman Life-Cycle Ceremonies Growing up in an interfaith family was overwhelmingly positive, though my sister and I joke Holidays that we're genetically programmed for guilt. But, for an intellectual kid, it was also complex. My father is Catholic. My mother was born Jewish. According to traditional Jewish law, I'm Relationships Jewish. But, I belong to both. My kids belong to both. Somewhere along the line, I decided it's Love and Marriage really only a matter of how you make the chicken soup--with matzah balls, or tomatoes. My experience wasn't unlike a tale of two cities, or rather two homes--a microcosm of two Raising Children in Interfaith Families cultures that, for me, were inseparable. My father's parents lived on Long Island, in a small spotless home that smelled of bleach. It was an Italian paradise: Pavarotti on the stereo, a Growing Up in an Interfaith Madonna and head of Christ in almost every room, a portrait of the pope in the kitchen. Family Grandma cooked ravioli, struffoli (small pieces of fried dough), braciole (stuffed, rolled meat), and cookies. Everything painstakingly made by hand. Catholic. Interdating My great aunt and uncle, Esther and Carl, Adoption lived in a rambling farmhouse in Connecticut. The house was warm and Extended Family Relationships smelled of jellyroll, stuffed cabbage, and dill. There were plastic covers on the good Telling Parents About Religious couches, drawers stuffed with candy, a Decisions for Your Children certificate of Hadassah (Women's Zionist Grandparenting Organization of America) membership and the flag of Israel. Always there would be a Divorce and Step-Family Issues little treat popped into your mouth and a squeeze of your cheeks. Jewish. Travel But, in both homes, there was Multi-racial and Multi-cultural nourishment. My grandmother and great Families aunt had their ways, their opinions, but they could cook like nobody's business. They filled you. They hugged you. They fixed you up and made sure of everything. A grandchild was a Jewish-Muslim Relationships sublime little being even in moments of youthful imperfection. Gay Interfaith Relationships When I entered my freshman year at Catholic high school, I experienced my first spiritual conflict. My Uncle Carl, who made the best summer barbecues, had recently passed away. Spirituality On the first day of Catholic school, the religion teacher informed us that Jews do not go to heaven. Very bad timing. I was horrified. I raised my hand to remind everyone that, "Anybody Arts and Entertainment can go to heaven, as long as they're good." No. Heaven is only for Christians, I was told. News and Opinion I was stunned. The teacher seemed shallow and ignorant. The resulting damage I blame on InterfaithFamily.com my math teacher, Sister Olive. The thought of Sister, who could make a teenage boy buckle and cry with a few well-honed insults, going to heaven and not my Uncle Carl, who raised InterfaithFamily.com Magazine Past baby chicks and chuckled at our every move and smelled like after-shave, was mind-boggling. Issues By Year Small wonder my chicken soup theology didn't go over well, not to mention my take on the pearly gates. After my freshman year, I went to a private Quaker school, where I could CONNECTIONS IN YOUR AREA contemplate my inner light (God's presence within a person) during Silent Meeting (Quaker practice of silent worship) on Fridays. My two best friends from middle school were already BLOGS attending this private school. I did not tell my parents about the "heaven incident" at the Catholic school. I told them I wanted to look at the school where my two best friends had DISCUSSION BOARDS already spent their freshman year. They told me it was outrageously expensive for them and that I would need to get a job to contribute to the tuition there, or I could stay at the Catholic NEWS AND ADVOCACY school. I took the entrance exam and was accepted. Then, I took on some housekeeping jobs. I started my sophomore year at the new school. I liked it very much. Nobody else who went ABOUT IFF there had housekeeping jobs, but I didn't care.
PRESS ROOM I didn't have any formal Jewish religious education. The culture of it was as ingrained in me as that from the Catholic side of my heritage. I accepted them both as normative--for me, that is. STORE Why wouldn't I have? Even though my parents were raising us Catholic, my mother's family was Jewish. We were close to both sides of my family. I think the impact of that may not have been obvious to my parents. Did they expect me to write off half my family because of their religious views? Or, was I supposed to assume there was no intrinsic value to any of the
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powered by FreeFind Jewish religious practices my family observed? After 10 years of Catholic religious instruction, 18 years of Mass every weekend, and my own Confirmation, you'd think I'd have had the Jewish pretty well trained out of me. The truth, I suspect now, is that it may not have occurred to my parents that I would notice or care, that it would matter, or that I would question the faith they chose for me. It might have been the kind of kid I was. Horrors. Was I a religious relativist
even as a child? I don't think so--not really. I just accepted as true the beliefs held by both sides of my family. Nobody told me how difficult it was for a mind to accept opposite truths. I didn't do it on purpose. I did it because it was natural and obvious. It wasn't an act of reason. It was an act of faith--no leap required.
When I told my Mother I was writing this essay, she seemed surprised. She asked what I knew about interfaith families. I was floored. I told her that I was born into and grew up in an interfaith family; she was Jewish and my father was Catholic. My mother replied that she had converted to Catholicism because she felt it would be better to have one religion at home and not two. I have to admit, I always thought of her as Jewish because her family was Jewish, even though she converted when she married my father. She told me she never thought of Featured our family as an interfaith family, because they raised us as Catholics. I tried to keep my sense of humor when I asked her about the rest of the family, all my Jewish aunts and uncles Partners/Funders/Links and cousins. How were we not an interfaith family? When your uncle makes potato latkes (pancakes) for an appetizer on Christmas Eve, you are in an interfaith situation. And yes, the traditional Italian Catholic seafood dinner followed the latkes. My mother hosted our annual Passover this year (a practice she began several years ago) and led the seder, which was peppered with moments of hilarity as she tossed out finger Login puppets representing the plagues of Egypt. My son found the hidden afikoman, the special matzah (unleavened bread eaten during Passover). He brought it to his grandfather and asked for five dollars. Grandpa, now a lapsed Catholic and retired from organized religion, Login Name: said, "I only have a 10 dollar bill, I guess you'll have to take it," to the grinning face of his grandson.
Password: Yes, one takes what one can get. I'm the richer for it.
Not Signed Up? Find Out More. Felice Indindoli Bochman is a writer, editor and artist living in Boston with her children. She edited the just-published Miraculous Coincidences, a narrative about growing up in Jewish in Communist Russia (MGraphics Publishing).
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CURRENT WEB MAGAZINE ISSUE Born Without a Name ARTICLE ARCHIVE By Tiffany Collins Life-Cycle Ceremonies In 1976, I was born without a name. I continued to be nameless for two weeks because my Holidays parents could not agree on one. At the time they may not have understood the source of their problems, but today, I know with certainty that it was due to their cultural differences. They Relationships finally agreed on the name Tiffany, which they chose in reference to a friend's daughter. I've Love and Marriage never really felt like a Tiffany. As the child of an Ashkenazi (of Eastern European origin) Israeli Jew and Iranian non-practicing Shi'a Muslim, I never quite felt my name reflected my spirit. Raising Children in Interfaith Families Prior to my birth, my parents decided that I would be raised Jewish. I often consider myself lucky that my mother is Jewish and my father Muslim. This combination automatically gave Growing Up in an Interfaith me the choice of being either of these religions: in Orthodox and Conservative circles of Family Judaism the religion is inherited through the mother, and in Islam, through the father. Nevertheless, I was thankful my parents chose my religion for me. I was Jewish. It kept things Interdating clear.
Adoption Yes, I have suffered ignorance and pettiness by those people who can't Extended Family Relationships understand how my parents could marry out of their faith. But, truly, more difficult Telling Parents About Religious than the religious difference has been the Decisions for Your Children socio-political divide between Israelis and Grandparenting Iranians. In a world where politics has become infused with religion, choosing "a Divorce and Step-Family Issues side" almost feels like an issue of safety-- as if a hypothetical voice would whisper to Travel me when I was alone, If a war breaks out between Jews and Muslims, whose side Multi-racial and Multi-cultural would you stand with? Families I did not grow up in a religious home. To Jewish-Muslim Relationships my parents, who met and fell in love in the liberal and exploratory university Gay Interfaith Relationships environment of California in the '70s, traditions had more merit than religion. My parents, both quite independent in nature and enjoying their cultural similarities, never really pondered how Spirituality more conservative members of their individual faiths might view their union. Arts and Entertainment My fondest childhood memories paint a picture of my double life. News and Opinion My favorite Jewish moments came from Shabbat (Sabbath) songs at Jewish summer camps InterfaithFamily.com and annual trips to Israel to see my extended family, which spoke Hebrew, Yiddish and Russian, and ate borscht! Those who could, spoke to me in English. Those who couldn't, InterfaithFamily.com Magazine Past spoke to me in Hebrew and Yiddish. To me, Judaism was Mediterranean beaches, Passover Issues By Year singing, and everyone treating me like family.
CONNECTIONS IN YOUR AREA My favorite Persian moments were weekends at my paternal grandmother's house in the United States, where we would savor saffron-infused rice, potato taddik (fried rice and potato BLOGS crust) and kabobs. Islam was warm kitchens, people dancing and singing to Middle Eastern music, polite social gestures, family respect for hierarchies and colorful holidays. At these DISCUSSION BOARDS gatherings everyone would speak to me in Farsi, and say hello with cheek-to-cheek kisses. But as I aged, the hidden religious symbols became more evident. NEWS AND ADVOCACY My father and his immediate community in the San Francisco Bay Area came from a pre- ABOUT IFF revolutionary Iran where culture took precedence over religion. In 1979, this community's identity was transformed by the Islamic Revolution. The transformation of their country from a PRESS ROOM seemingly secular state to a religiously orthodox one left them feeling stateless. I, too, took on the identity of a refugee; this model world that they were raising me in, in which being both STORE Persian and Jewish was safe and accepted, no longer existed, if it ever had. There was no Iran to which I could go back as a part-Israeli Jew to find my roots. As I got older, my religious identity became more confusing. Moments like when my Persian
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powered by FreeFind grandmother would bless me with her Koran as she sent me off to a trip to Israel come to mind. My religious identity came under the greatest scrutiny when my parents divorced when I was 9. No longer bound by the compromises of interfaith marriage, my parents naturally migrated back toward their origins. My father, especially, became more and more attracted to his homeland. He began taking me to Persian concerts, speaking to me in Farsi and courting
a Persian woman. Hitting my teenage years, insecurities due to not fitting the standard religious mold took their toll. At 15, I made a radical decision that would change my life. After spending the summer with my family and friends in Israel, I announced to my parents that I absolutely had to live in Israel. Looking back, it's quite obvious to me that my decision was based on an extreme thirst to connect with an identity, and I had been given a Jewish one. I went to a French boarding school in Jerusalem where most of the students were of Sephardic (descendents of the Spanish and Portuguese Jews) origin and from more Orthodox branches of Judaism. The nationally mandated Zionist curriculum infused our day-to-day experiences. The following three years in that boarding school were a time of religious awakening for me. I became Featured immersed in Jewish life. I felt at home among the Sephardic Jews. Their culture brought together elements of my Jewish and Persian cultures more than the traditional Ashkenazi Partners/Funders/Links culture I had become accustomed to in the U.S. The only problem was that I didn't want anyone in the school to know I was different. My strategy of pretending to be just like everyone else came to a crossroads in my second year in that school (eleventh grade), when my father decided to move back to Iran to settle old family financial matters. How could I explain having a father who lives in Iran to my Jewish friends in Login Israel? I ended up sharing this information with only my closest friends, who took it quite well. But of course, I lived in Israel in the early '90s when the hope for peace in the region was still quite alive. Login Name: I wondered how I could talk to my father about such things as wanting to join the army to serve the Jewish homeland. In Israel, everyone goes into the army when they turn 18. It's not Password: a political statement; it's an expected step on the way to adulthood. It turned out that my father preferred not to discuss such matters. He felt that just mentioning the topic could be dangerous to him within the Persian community and Iran. At the time my feelings were hurt as I felt he was embarrassed by his Jewish daughter. Now, with a more mature understanding of
the politics of the Iranian regime, I understand that his concerns were legitimately connected Not Signed Up? Find Out More. to his personal safety. Also upsetting was the fact that I could never visit my father in Iran given my Israeli connections. In those years of living in Israel, I became quite religious. Somewhere deep inside, I felt a need to know as much as possible to compensate for not having a Jewish father. After five years in Israel, I decided to come back to the U.S. Attending university enabled me to gain the maturity and cognitive skills necessary to create my own identity. I re-connected with my Persian side after years of pretending to be a purebred in Israel. I realized that being Jewish and practicing Jewish traditions were my birthright and no one could take that away from me. The ability to combine my newfound analytical skills with my solid knowledge of Judaism gave me a great sense of empowerment, enabling me to create my own personal religious practices and cultural traditions. The day I finally felt liberated was my wedding day. I hand-picked every tradition, color, and rite that was to carry me into my future life. I chose a ketubah (Jewish wedding contract) with a Persian design created by a local artist. I held two weddings, a secular Persian one with religious symbols, at which my aspiring-actor cousin married us against a backdrop of Persian wedding motifs, sweets and festivities; and a Jewish one that had everything from Israeli live music to a chuppah (Jewish wedding canopy) held by my best friends. I did not marry a Jewish man. My husband is part-Japanese Buddhist, part-American Baptist-- a hybrid, just like me. We've had many cultural elements to subsume into our life as a couple, yet our respect for multiculturalism has prevailed. Before marrying, my husband asked me if he should convert to Judaism. I said no, because I felt that this is something that he should want to do for himself, not just to satisfy me. I did tell him, though, that I would need his consent to raise our children as Jews. We now have a beautiful little boy named Raphael who has been circumcised. He's learning French, Hebrew, Farsi and Japanese. We take a Shabbat class together at the Jewish community center. My husband and son have both been to Israel. While we're not your typical Jewish family, we are Jewish nonetheless. The last time my husband flew back from Israel, separately from me, the security guards on the flight asked him if he was Jewish. He said, "Yes, by marriage." The guard responded, "That's not exactly the same, is it?" Being Jewish and multicultural is not always easy. Not everyone accepts our way. I've had close friends from high school lecture my husband on how he must convert. But ultimately, that's not my immediate community or the people I seek to learn from. In creating my own traditions, I have combined the histories and stories of Persians and Jews to give richness to my life--discovering how to learn from the practices of others and adapt them as my own.
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Tiffany Collins is the founder of Jewish Persian Connections.
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CURRENT WEB MAGAZINE ISSUE Chillin' with My Faux Jew 'Fro ARTICLE ARCHIVE By Keenan Steiner Life-Cycle Ceremonies Reprinted with permission from The Georgetown Voice. Holidays Feb. 8, 2007 Relationships I hate yarmulkes. They mess up my hair. And because they cover up the spot on your head Love and Marriage where men typically begin balding, I used to think that they make you go bald. Raising Children in Interfaith That's why I dreaded attending bar mitzvahs at Conservative temples. (At Reform temples, Families nobody made me wear one). I'd take mine off during the service, and some old man draped in a traditional shawl would tell me to put it back on. Growing Up in an Interfaith Family "But I'm not even Jewish," I'd protest. Interdating He would tell me it's disrespectful not to wear it, so I would put it back on.
Adoption More than half of the families in my hometown of Chappaqua, N.Y., are Jewish. Most of my friends were Jewish--in seventh grade, I went to a bar mitzvah almost every weekend. But I Extended Family Relationships never had a bar mitzvah. I didn't identify myself as a Jew--I didn't like when people would ask me if I was, and I hated the look of surprise on their faces when I told them I wasn't. Telling Parents About Religious Decisions for Your Children I wasn't lying. Religiously, I wasn't Jewish, or anything at all. My parents raised me and my siblings without church or temple. My dad is Jewish but doesn't follow its religious tenets--he's Grandparenting an atheist. My mom hasn't gone to church since I've been alive, and doesn't even belong to a particular sect. I wasn't bar mitzvahed. I've never opened the Torah. If God has been part of Divorce and Step-Family Issues my life, it's only because I pray once in a while. Judaism has meant identity, not religious Travel belief.
Multi-racial and Multi-cultural "Religion" has always played a non-religious role in my life. The question of my religion only Families comes up when people ask me if I'm Christian or Jewish.
Jewish-Muslim Relationships I normally tell people I'm Christian. I used to justify my religion like this: my family celebrates Hannukah and Christmas, but Christmas is a bigger deal. I'm half-Jewish, but my mom is Gay Interfaith Relationships Christian, and you are what your mother is.
Spirituality People assume I'm a Jew not only because of my last name, but also because I have curly hair that turns into a mini-fro if it gets too long. My nose isn't overwhelming--it fits my face--but Arts and Entertainment it's got some presence. I like to talk about everything, analyzing it until it's dead. And I love bargains. News and Opinion I used to wish that I were born with a different last name--say my mom's maiden name, InterfaithFamily.com Arciniaco. Nobody would think I'm Jewish and there would be nothing Jewish about me. This whole "what are you" question would be settled. InterfaithFamily.com Magazine Past Issues By Year When I got to Georgetown--a place with far fewer Jews than New York--even more people assumed I was Jewish. "What are you?" became "Oh, come on, you're Jewish." CONNECTIONS IN YOUR AREA Freshman year at Leo's, I sat down with a few floor-mates at a long, rectangular table. We sat BLOGS next to a couple of kids who I hadn't met before. One of them quickly said, "You're Jewish, aren't you?" DISCUSSION BOARDS "Why?" I asked. NEWS AND ADVOCACY "I can tell by the way you speak, by the way you move your hands around," he said. "You have a Jewish way about you." ABOUT IFF I'd never been in a place for an extended period of time where being Jewish was singular. PRESS ROOM Back home, often surrounded by real Jews, I was singled out for being the non-Jew. I never understood why some of my friends had to light candles every Friday night, why they couldn't STORE drink milk with meat. Now, I was grouped with them, which I didn't like. But do I belong in that group? Is there anything Jewish about me? Seeking a theological answer, I took Modern Jewish Thought last semester with Professor Ori
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powered by FreeFind Soltes. We barely studied the religious tenets of Judaism in the class. Soltes approached Judaism from a much broader perspective--being Jewish has ethnic, cultural, historical, and religious meanings for identity. Judaism is in my blood. Maybe that's why my closest friends at Georgetown are Jews and half-Jews. During Passover, by eating the same foods as the Israelites, Jews are supposed to feel connected to the Israelites that fled Egypt. Jews are meant to feel a connection to past Jews, while always looking to the future. Whether I like it or not, I'm linked to other Jews, past and present. I haven't celebrated Passover in a few years, I'll probably never belong to a temple and I still hate yarmulkes, but I am Jewish.
Keenan Steiner is a senior at Georgetown University and the
Editorial Board Chair of The Georgetown Voice. Featured Partners/Funders/Links
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CURRENT WEB MAGAZINE ISSUE A Half-Chinese, Half-Jewish Kid Conquers the Free ARTICLE ARCHIVE Birthright Trip Life-Cycle Ceremonies By Jon Block Holidays Reprinted from San Diego Jewish Journal with permission of the author. Relationships I've always felt I was mediocre at being Jewish, reform even by Reform standards, so I was Spirituality pleasantly surprised that the 31 others were mostly on Birthright for the same reason I was: at 26, we were the cut-off age for the trip, and we would have felt like idiots missing out on 10 Arts and Entertainment free days in Israel. The fact we were Jewish was a footnote to our identities, kind of like your college major that had nothing to do with your career. News and Opinion El Al had an open bar policy and within two hours of our flight, we crowded the aisles, The Outreach Debate chugged Israeli merlot, and high-fived over everything and nothing. When we arrived in Tel Demographics Aviv, though, my merlot buzz evaporated after I saw 50-plus soldiers wielding machine guns. This was followed by security checks, metal detectors, and bombed-out homes. Maybe it was Outreach Success Stories my laid-back SoCal upbringing, but this was not somewhere I wanted to live.
Rabbinic Officiation at The first three days consisted of waking up Intermarriages at six, hiking, getting really boring historical lectures, eating pita and humus, then Intermarriage and the Reform partying until two in the morning. On a trip Movement like this, you tend to revert to your junior high instincts, which means analyzing the Intermarriage and the Conservative hell out of everyone in your group. Ryan Movement was frat boy detached cool; in other words- -prick. Danny was the class clown Jim Newsmakers Carrey of the group--annoying. But the Israel and Interfaith Families headliner was Jenna, a dead ringer for Evangeline Lilly, which was fitting since Anti-Semitism and Interfaith this whole experience felt a little like being Families on "Lost."
The Holocaust and Interfaith On day four, we went to a Bedouin camp in the desert. I decided this was the night to Families establish myself as Jenna's Birthright Boyfriend; we'd developed a solid rapport, discussing everything from relationships to butter versus margarine. Problem was, at the bonfire, our host September 11 Nathaniel wouldn't stop talking. He talked about his distant relatives who'd gotten killed at a bus stop bombing, he talked about Palestinians shooting at him when he was 5. Poignant stuff Teaching About Other Religions and I was probably a prick for not being more engaged, but I had the Jenna situation on my mind. And so maybe it was because I was drunk off eight to 12 Gold Stars, but I found myself The Threat of Messianic Judaism asking: InterfaithFamily.com "Why don't you just move out of Israel?" InterfaithFamily.com Magazine Past Nathaniel stared at me as if I'd just unzipped myself. Not offended, just confused on where I Issues By Year could be going with this. Jenna chuckled. CONNECTIONS IN YOUR AREA "You have a choice, you know." I was making a reasonable point, or thought I was. "In the States, you don't have to worry about getting blown up. Mugged, car-jacked, maybe. But you BLOGS survive those."
DISCUSSION BOARDS "I have never been mugged."
NEWS AND ADVOCACY "And the army service they force you into," I continued, on a somewhat roll. "Not in America. If you wanna fight Iraqis, you gotta volunteer." ABOUT IFF "I don't want to go to the U.S. My family is in Israel." PRESS ROOM "Bring them, too! You'll have to work out the immigration, obviously, but it's definitely worth a shot." STORE Nathaniel was silent and for a moment, I thought I was getting through. Man, that would have been nice. I come to this country on a free trip, get drunk, and change people's lives. Not a
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Find bad way to pass the time. powered by FreeFind "The problem is…" And right then, Nathaniel did something I can honestly say I've never seen anyone do. "The problem is…" He scooped up a handful of dirt, dumped it into his mouth, and chewed like a bulldog:
"… I love this country!" We laughed pretty hard at that, even though I was partially convinced this guy was insane. Nathaniel's dirt snacking stayed with me the next few days, particularly on a hike to the Red Sea where we saw how close Saudi Arabia, Jordan, and Egypt bordered us. The arrangement was like being stuck in a constant state of Cuban Missile Crisis. I didn't see how people could live like this, the same way I didn't get why someone would build a house where a hurricane was likely to decimate it. The Jews had endured more fire than any other culture in history-- why not move out of the fireplace? The issue kept buzzing in my ear in a "What Makes Sammy Run" way and by day seven, I was having trouble discussing other things until I got Featured this resolved. Partners/Funders/Links The group provided zero help here. Danny publicly started calling me Moses since I was trying to liberate the Jews out of Israel or something. Idiot. Fact was, he had his sights on Jenna and I was a key obstacle. She and I had been sitting with each other on all the bus rides; one time we fell asleep together, holding hands. Pretty romantic for being on a bus full of people accusing each other of farting. Login On day eight, over schwarma, our guard Adam told us about his army experience, how he'd been discharged two weeks before his unit was called in to fight Hezbollah, then how he'd Login Name: persuaded his superiors to let him re-join. In doing so, he got shot twice. He was also an oleh, an American who'd immigrated to Israel. "Have you ever eaten Israeli dirt?" I asked. Password: "The hell is that supposed to mean?" He was also kind of a prick. "Moses thinks every time you leave your house, you're gonna get blown up," Danny offered.
Not Signed Up? Find Out More. "That's not what I think." Idiot. "I just don't get why you moved someplace where you're a lot more likely to get killed." "Damn media. If they told you that Israelis and Palestinians did a ceasefire circle jerk once a year, you'd probably believe that too, huh?" "Maybe. But the media doesn't say that. They talk about suicide bombings, and--" "Lighten up, Jon." It took me about three full seconds to realize that this came from Jenna. "Excuse me?" "That's all you've been talking about, 'Why do people live in Israel? Help me understand. Please. Please. Why?!?'" She and I were the couple, the Brad and Angelina of the group. Okay, maybe not quite, but still, what was this crap coming out her mouth? And why did she use a whiny second grader's voice to impersonate me? "We're here to learn about Israel, Jenna. Not to get trashed every night." "You can still talk about other things, Moses." I must have looked like I was going to chuck my Tahini sauce in her face since she suddenly left, wearing a grin that was textbook smug. The others followed, leaving just me and Adam. Adam cracked a rare smile. "You know what it is about Israel?" How could she call me Moses? I'd have to at least go to temple to earn a nickname like that. It's like calling me Super Jew. Ridiculous. "Israel is the opposite of Jenna." Is he talking? "I said, Israel is the opposite of Jenna. Israel isn't good-looking to everyone, but if you see her from the right angle, she's the most beautiful thing ever." I guess he thought that was really insightful. That night at the kibbutz, I didn't approach Jenna, figuring maybe she'd offer an apology. She
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didn't see it that way. Instead, she saw herself hooking up with Danny in an empty classroom which, as I was en route to brush my teeth, I happened to see, too. I was hung over and pissed off before I even opened my eyes the next morning. Driving to the Western Wall, I sat alone, constructing horrible death scenarios for Danny. I couldn't justify doing that to Jenna, so I just thought of ways to really hurt her feelings. My mind was still racing erratically when I put on my paper kippah and entered the Western Wall arena. Most of the people were Orthodox, wearing black suits in the unforgiving heat; I couldn't relate to that. And what were they all crying over? Whatever it was, at least they stood for something, unlike my Birthright group. We were bonded by a free trip, nothing else. It wasn't like the Israeli Jews. They were in the trenches together all the time, since always. Does that make you more connected? Does all that make this a country that you would die for, a place you just don't leave when she needs you? Maybe that's what it means to live in Israel. This last thought resonated like in an echo chamber inside my head. Maybe that's what it means to live in Israel... I stopped focusing on Jenna, Danny, all of them, and suddenly remembered when the Twin Towers went down, or more specifically, the two weeks following 9/11. It was a brief window where Americans were emotionally connected, the only time in my life when I felt that a stranger had my back if I needed it. Standing here, I saw that's how people in Israel felt all the time. And when you looked at it from this angle, there was no question, you saw something beautiful.
Jon Block lives in San Diego where he is working on a collection of personal stories, which he describes as "writing for people who hate reading." He can be reached at [email protected].
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CURRENT WEB MAGAZINE ISSUE "In the Mix": From "Half-Jewish" To Rabbi ARTICLE ARCHIVE By Julie Wiener Life-Cycle Ceremonies Reprinted from The (New York) Jewish Week with permission of the author. Holidays Nov. 11, 2006 Relationships When Heather Miller was little, she desperately wanted to be a Jewish American Princess. Love and Marriage In her Los Angeles elementary school, the term was not a slur, but a moniker proudly Raising Children in Interfaith embraced by the cool girls who wore Guess denim jackets with lace trim. But Miller's family Families couldn't keep up economically with the "princesses," and--perhaps more damning--her father was Unitarian. Growing Up in an Interfaith Family "People would always say, you're not really a Jewish American Princess, you're not really one of us," Miller, now Interdating 27, recalls. Adoption One Friday night, Miller's grandmother came over for Shabbat dinner and discovered the little girl in tears. Extended Family Relationships "She said, 'Let me tell you something. My father, your zeyde, Telling Parents About Religious was a Cohen, which means he was a priest in the old temple. Decisions for Your Children Which means he was Jewish royalty. So you're Jewish Grandparenting royalty, which is like being a Jewish princess.'" "If my grandma hadn't said that, I don't know if I'd be Jewish Divorce and Step-Family Issues today," Miller says, adding, "I realized I was authentically Travel Jewish, and whatever anyone else said was their problem."
Multi-racial and Multi-cultural Today, Miller may not be a Jewish princess, but she's training Families to be the next best thing: a rabbi. In her fourth year at the Heather Miller's father was Reform movement's Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Jewish-Muslim Relationships Unitarian and her mother was Religion in New York, she is one of a small, but hardly Jewish. Now she's studying to insignificant, cohort of rabbinical students from interfaith Gay Interfaith Relationships become a rabbi at the Reform homes. These future Jewish leaders are uniquely positioned movement's Hebrew Union to deal with interfaith families, who represent a growing Spirituality College-Jewish Institute of Religion in New York. percentage of the total Jewish community. Sensitive to the concerns of families with only one Jewish parent, they Arts and Entertainment nonetheless have no illusions about the challenges intermarried couples--and their children-- News and Opinion face.
InterfaithFamily.com "I grew up questioning a lot," says Rachel Crossley, a third-year rabbinical student at HUC's Cincinnati campus. InterfaithFamily.com Magazine Past Issues By Year Although Crossley's Jewish mother and Christian father agreed to raise Crossley and her twin brother as Jews, they celebrated Christmas as well as Hanukkah and Passover at home. CONNECTIONS IN YOUR AREA "I would actually tell my friends I was half-Jewish," Crossley, now 25, recalls. "In my mind, celebrating both [Christmas and Hanukkah] meant I was one of each." BLOGS When she was 13, Crossley accompanied one of the few Jewish kids from her Springfield, DISCUSSION BOARDS Ohio, public school to his temple for a Sukkot celebration. "I'd never seen a sukkah before, and I just loved it," she says. NEWS AND ADVOCACY She returned the next week for Hebrew school, spurring her family to join the temple. Soon ABOUT IFF after, the congregation hired a charismatic woman rabbi, a convert to Judaism who helped Crossley prepare for a bat mitzvah at age 17 and encouraged her to become active in NFTY, PRESS ROOM the Reform youth group.
STORE Although she wishes her parents had handled certain things differently, Crossley has no regrets about growing up in an interfaith home. "My interfaith background had a lot to do with my identity and career path in being interested in Judaism," she says. "Because it was sometimes difficult for me to access Judaism, I
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powered by FreeFind searched really hard to strengthen my Jewish identity. … I also had a great understanding of other people and was socialized into other types of communities, which I very much value now." Like Crossley, Miller began her formal Jewish education at 13, the age many kids cash their bar/bat mitzvah checks and bid farewell to Jewish learning. A school shooting spurred Miller's mother to pull the future rabbi out of public school and enroll her at Stephen Wise, a pluralistic Jewish day school where she received a full scholarship. "I loved it, I really loved it," Miller says. "I got straight A's in Judaica classes. I loved the
intellectual search for trying to figure out the ethical thing to do in any situation." Like Crossley, Miller sees both sides of intermarriage. Although at times she felt "less than fully anything," her dual background gave her an appreciation for diversity. Featured "One of the great things about growing up interfaith was that every time we celebrated any tradition at all, someone was always explaining it," she says. "I really got a sense of people Partners/Funders/Links articulating their own religious traditions and the meaning of religion in their lives." While Miller has not yet decided what sort of rabbinic post to pursue, Crossley--who is aware that the name "Rabbi Crossley" may sound a little odd to some--hopes eventually to lead a congregation. And she believes her background gives her some added credentials. "Those of us who are the products of intermarriage may have more dimension to bring to the Login rabbinate in terms of outreach," she says, adding that "if we can't--as a movement and as rabbis--work on ways to strengthen [interfaith] family's Jewish identities, we will lose them. I Login Name: know how important it is just to have a small amount of Jewish practice in the home, and I feel like it's important to nurture that."
Password: Miller, who says that many of her friends from interfaith homes have had "horrible experiences" of feeling excluded from the Jewish community, also feels her background makes her especially sensitive to the concerns of interfaith families. "There's a lot of talk in the Jewish community about how the products of interfaith marriage Not Signed Up? Find Out More. don't identify as Jews and … the Jewish community needs to look at why--the qualitative aspect, not the quantitative," she says. "What are some of the obstacles that turn people off from Judaism or Jewish institutions?" Like many of their classmates, both Miller and Crossley plan to officiate at some interfaith weddings. Crossley says she will most likely require premarital counseling and will encourage interfaith couples to create an unambiguously Jewish home. "It's very confusing to have both religious symbols in the home, because the kids might ask, 'Am I half?' like I did."
Julie Wiener is a copy editor and freelance writer. Her column on interfaith life appears in The (New York) Jewish Week the third week of the month. You can reach her at [email protected].
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CURRENT WEB MAGAZINE ISSUE Faces of Change ARTICLE ARCHIVE By Life-Cycle Ceremonies CampusJ.com Dec. 11, 2006 Holidays NEW YORK--Jewish life on campus has a changing face because of Facebook.com. Relationships Students and organizations are taking advantage of the social networking site launched in Love and Marriage 2004 that allows users to make a profile, create and join numerous groups, and post messages to other members and groups. Raising Children in Interfaith Families "It's already had a direct effect on the expectations that Hillel is putting into its Growing Up in an Interfaith resources," said Hillel's Simon Amiel, who Family is charged with overseeing the Jewish Interdating campus organization's outreach fellows.
Adoption "Ten years ago, 15 years ago, the goal was to get students in the building," he Extended Family Relationships explained, adding "that's still a nice goal for us... but it's far more of an important goal Telling Parents About Religious to say there are 500 students having a Decisions for Your Children Jewish experience every week, inside the building or out." Grandparenting Facebook's ability to create ad-hoc Divorce and Step-Family Issues communities is seen as its greatest strength. When an Iranian-American Travel student was Tasered by campus police at the University of California Los Angeles, thousands of students registered their protest within days by joining groups created to complain about Multi-racial and Multi-cultural Families the incident. Jewish students and groups on Facebook are taking similar advantage of the site's Jewish-Muslim Relationships possibilities. A Jewish group was launched recently to gather right-wing Israel advocates to Gay Interfaith Relationships protest a book-signing by former President Carter on the same day in New York City. Another group is called "American Jews Against Israel." Spirituality Along the way, Jewish students are finding new ways to associate with each other and new Arts and Entertainment aspects of their identities.
News and Opinion Janice Hussain is a junior at Brandeis University in Waltham, Mass., and the daughter of Indian and Jewish parents, and until she started using Facebook, she didn't know there were InterfaithFamily.com many other Jews of a similar ethnicity.
InterfaithFamily.com Magazine Past "At Brandeis, if I wanted to meet someone who was Asian and Jewish, or Indian or half- Issues By Year Indian, I couldn't," she said.
CONNECTIONS IN YOUR AREA So this semester Hussain launched a group called "Asian and Jewish," inviting a handful of people at Brandeis who were of Asian and Jewish descent. Before she knew it the group BLOGS reached 90 members from various campuses. Now that she's had success online, Hussain is considering new endeavors for Jewish life on DISCUSSION BOARDS her campus, with which she's had little involvement thus far. NEWS AND ADVOCACY "I was actually thinking of maybe starting a club at Brandeis for Jews that are not fully Ashkenazi, or Jews of color, and to have an event or maybe have a lecture," she said. ABOUT IFF Hussain's experience in finding common heritage on Facebook is far from unique for Jews of PRESS ROOM mixed descent.
STORE "What seems to be coming up over and over again is a place for students that are from a mixed-parentage family," Amiel said, noting that Facebook's self-starting nature allows Jewish students to "make connections that are more organic." On Facebook, most of the traditional categories for Judaism and religious activity in general Find
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powered by FreeFind are far less popular than alternative expressions of identity. Several groups are titled "I don't roll on Shabbos," after a line in the cult movie The Big Lebowski. Hundreds of students belong to these groups, and most of them belong to hundreds of other groups that express their Jewish identities.
While statistics are not available for the site, an informal survey of multiple campuses has shown consistently that most Jewish students will call themselves "Jewish" or some manifestation thereof in the "Religious Views" box only about 10 percent of the time. At Indiana University, even the Hillel president, Joanna Blotner, doesn't call herself "Jewish" on her profile. "It's because you don't want to actively make yourself part of the minority," she explained. "It's probably the same reason a lot of gays and lesbians don't identify themselves."
It's a trend that Jewish officials can't explain. Featured "Of any place, being on Facebook is one of the most safe places to identify as Jewish," Amiel Partners/Funders/Links said. At the same time, traditional Jewish institutions have employed the site as well, finding Facebook to be far more effective than e-mail in getting students to attend their events.
"People, in my experience, are more likely to attend an event if they are personally invited," said Alex Freedman, president of the Jewish Student Union at Washington University, in St. Login Louis, Mo. "The group and event invitation serves that function on a grand scale--it allows the word to be spread better among a target audience quicker than any other medium." Login Name: "Meanwhile, Facebook's implementation of a new feature called "News Feeds" allows students to see the groups or events their friends are joining. Password: "All of a sudden, people no longer had to be individually invited to a group or to an event. They could see what their friends were doing," said Andy Ratto, Washington University Hillel's Jewish Campus Service Corps fellow. "This has been extremely useful because people might be rather unlikely to go to an event where they didn't know anyone who would be there, but all Not Signed Up? Find Out More. of a sudden people would find out about an event because their friends were going to it, and then they would want to come, too." While those results aren't the expectation for Hillel events at a given campus, the function still makes a difference, Freedman said. It "saves us a lot of phone calls, a lot of fliers and a lot of time," he said.
CampusJ is a publication that aims to provide comprehensive coverage of Jewish news on campus, as well as training and opportunities to a new generation of Jewish journalists. Reporting for this article was by Sam Guzik, Ben Greenberg, Jordan Magaziner, Valerie Saturen, Daniel Smajovits and Steven I. Weiss.
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CURRENT WEB MAGAZINE ISSUE She's the Man: A Q&A with Amanda Bynes
ARTICLE ARCHIVE By Nate Bloom July 10, 2007 Life-Cycle Ceremonies I recently interviewed the very busy interfaith actress Amanda Bynes, who has a co-starring Holidays role in the movie musical version of Hairspray, which opens in theaters on Friday, July 20. Relationships The movie musical is an adaptation of the hit Broadway musical of the same name that opened in 2002 and is still running. The Broadway show was itself adapted from John Water's Spirituality 1988 cult comedy hit. Arts and Entertainment The movie musical is choreographed and directed Books by Adam Shankman, who is Jewish, and the songs are by Jewish composer Marc Shaiman. Films, Theater, TV and Music The story is set in Baltimore in 1962. Heavy-set Interviews and Profiles teenager Tracey Turnblad seeks and gains a bit of fame as a dancer on a teen "dance party" program News and Opinion that is broadcast on a local Baltimore TV station. However, Tracey is appalled when she finds out that InterfaithFamily.com the owner of the TV station does not allow black teens to appear on the dance program and she InterfaithFamily.com Magazine Past leads a fight to end this injustice. Issues By Year Playing Tracey in the movie musical is newcomer CONNECTIONS IN YOUR AREA Nikki Blonsky, 18. Blonsky was raised in a working class home on Long Island, New York. Her father is BLOGS Jewish and her mother is Catholic. Blonsky was raised in her mother's faith. DISCUSSION BOARDS John Travolta, in full drag--and fat suit--plays Edna NEWS AND ADVOCACY Turnblad, Tracey's loving and very overweight mother. Having a man play Edna is a Hairspray ABOUT IFF tradition. The role was created by the late transvestite actor Divine, also known as Harris PRESS ROOM Milstead. Jewish actor Harvey Fierstein then played Edna in the original Broadway production. Amanda Bynes plays Penny Pingelton in the STORE new film adaptation of the hit Broadway Christopher Walken plays Tracey's father in the musical Hairspray, which was itself an movie musical. Jewish actor Jerry Stiller, who adaptation of a 1988 film. Hairspray opens created this role in the 1988 film, has a small role in Friday, July 20. ©2007 David James/New Line Cinema Find the new version as Mr. Pinky, a dress shop owner who outfits Tracey. powered by FreeFind Playing Tracey's "dreamboat" boyfriend is Zac Efron, 20, who is best known as a star of the hit TV movie, High School Musical. While Elle magazine recently described Efron as Jewish, my sources tell me he is probably of interfaith background. Playing Tracey's best friend, Penny Pingelton, is Amanda Bynes, 21. Penny's African- American boyfriend, Seaweed Stubbs, is played by newcomer Elijah Kelley.
I caught up with Bynes a couple of months ago, just a week after she celebrated her 21st birthday. She had just finished-up filming Sydney White, a college comedy that is a sort of re- telling of the Snow White story. It is scheduled to open this fall.
Earlier this year, Forbes magazine named Bynes one of the ten most powerful celebrities under 21. Her Sydney White director, Joe Nussbaum, told me that Bynes was a "natural," smart and genuinely funny. These attributes have taken Bynes a long way in a short time.
Born and raised in Southern California, Bynes comes from a stable middle-class household. Her father is a retired dentist and her mother was her father's office manager. She did a series Featured of stage musicals as a young child before landing a role on a children's program on Partners/Funders/Links Nickelodeon in 1996. Her talent stood out and she was given her own show on the cable network, "The Amanda Show." "Amanda" was almost like a kid version of the old "Carol Burnett Show," with Bynes doing comic skits and sketches.
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In 2002, she made her film debut in Big Fat Liar, following that up with a hit WB comedy series, "What I Like About You," which ran from 2002-2006. She has starred in two feature films (What a Girl Wants and She's the Man). Both flicks were quite successful.
Login Bynes, who is pretty, but not gorgeous, has a sweet "girl next door" quality that appeals to a very broad audience. She comes across as a "real person" that girls would like to be or would like as a friend--and boys would like as a friend or girlfriend. Login Name: Here are some highlights from my interview.
Password: Your Sydney White director told me that he thought this film was a good step in your career--"that you are 'bringing your audience along.' Have you thought about the difficult transition from a teen star to an adult actress? Everything I do is a transition, because I am growing-up. I am doing roles that are suitable for Not Signed Up? Find Out More. me now. I'm 21 and it is fitting that I am doing a role that puts me in college because if I was in school, now, I would be in college. Any career game plan? I wouldn't say that I was going to play any younger. I am going to do what works for me. I want to make people laugh and to find roles that are strong female roles---roles that I find challenging---for the time being I am content with the roles I have been doing. Joe Nussbaum tells me that your parents flew to the Sydney White set to celebrate your 21st birthday with you. They wouldn't miss it for the world. To have their youngest turn 21 was a big deal. I have a 33- year-old brother and a 24-year-old sister. I understand that your father is Catholic and is a dentist and your mother is Jewish and is an office manager. Is that right? My father is a retired dentist. As far as religion, I was raised both. I learned about both [Judaism and Catholicism]. My parents said it was up to me to decide [which faith to adhere to] when I grew up. I'm sort of a spiritual person anyway. I believe in being morally correct-- treating other people like you like to be treated--karma…. I think there is something else going on. I haven't decided yet [on a religion]. I don't know yet exactly what I believe. Tell me about getting ready for being in a movie musical. I trained really hard with a man named Eric Vitro, who is one of the best singing coaches in America. I got his name from my agent when I heard there were auditions for Hairspray. I used to do musical plays when I was younger but I haven't sung in a musical in 10 years so I hooked up with Eric and sang for about a month before I auditioned. I auditioned twice and got the part. Tell me a little about working with Marc Shaiman and Adam Shankman. Yeah, it was [Marc's] baby. We all worked with him on every aspect. He is very talented and I love Marc Shaiman. Adam is very funny, a very human guy. Is there a moment when you realized what a big star you are, similar to the moment musicians have the first time they hear their record on the radio? When I was staying at the Ritz-Carlton Hotel in New John Travolta--yes, that is John Travolta-- York a few years ago, they had a small list of plays Edna Turnblad, the lead character's favorite movies you could watch in the room. On this mother, in Hairspray. ©2007 David small list of "favorites" they listed What a Girl Wants- James/New Line Cinema -I called my mom--seeing a movie I had done appear on this list was really weird and cool. Also, people come up to me and quote me and kind of do my accent, as when I played a guy in She's the Man. That means a lot to me--I've sort of imitated Jim Carrey and Jack Black and Mike Myers--and then to have people doing me. Sort of like being part of a club you never expected to be in? Exactly. Tell me about working with Zac Efron.
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He is a very nice kid, but most of my scenes were with Nikki Blonsky and Elijah Kelley. I didn't have any scenes with Jerry Stiller, but we were in make-up together one day and I asked him all about "Seinfeld," that was fun. Was John Travolta as you expected? He was. Working with someone who is sort of an icon, you don't expect it-but he really does sparkle-he has sort of a glow---its really odd but he does have sort of a glow about him. You will be blown-away by him. You will forget he is John Travolta. You will forget he is a man. There is a reason he is a highly-paid movie star. He is really interesting to watch work. Well, if I may say this, you really do sparkle, yourself. You have an inner light that a lot of performers don't. Thank you for saying that. My parents said you "don't want to lose your sparkle." So many people are dark and gloomy and horrible to be around. If I felt I was losing my happiness I would go to an island and figure out was going on in my life. You seem to be part of the group of young performers who are never in the gossip pages. Did your family life have something to do with that? Definitely. I was raised by strict parents. I wasn't allowed to go to the mall alone until I was around 16. I have really smart grounded parents who weren't nouveau riche. They really earned their money and they know the value of a dollar. They gave morals to me and I wouldn't want to do anything that would embarrass my parents. I see that Hairspray was filmed in Toronto, and not Baltimore, where the story is set. Did you ever think that being a Hollywood actress would mean spending so much time filming in Canada? Well, my Jewish grandpa and grandmother are from Toronto. Long before I was ever an actress I was in Toronto visiting and going to museums. My grandmother now lives in California, but I still have a lot of relatives in Toronto. One last question, do you have a favorite Jewish holiday? A holiday, I don't know. But I do have a favorite Jewish food. It is matzoh brei. My grandmother taught me how to make it and now I make it for all my friends.
Nate Bloom writes a column on Jewish celebrities, broadly defined, that appears in five Jewish newspapers. If you have any comments or wish to republish parts of this article, please contact Bloom via [email protected].
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CURRENT WEB MAGAZINE ISSUE Interfaith Celebrities: Kyra Sedgwick, Baseball's Braun-y Interfaith Rookie and a Jewish Maori ARTICLE ARCHIVE Director Life-Cycle Ceremonies By Nate Bloom Holidays July 10, 2007 Relationships "Closer" to Judaism? Spirituality The detective/mystery series, "The Closer," Arts and Entertainment on TNT, has got the best ratings of any original comedy or drama program on Books basic cable. The third season premiere of "The Closer," on June 18, drew more Films, Theater, TV and Music viewers than all but two other shows on TV Interviews and Profiles that week, including the programs on the broadcast networks. News and Opinion "The Closer" is a fairly well-written show, InterfaithFamily.com but writing alone cannot explain its success. Most of the credit has to be InterfaithFamily.com Magazine Past attributed to the talent of the show's star, Issues By Year actress Kyra Sedgwick, who plays Los Angeles deputy police chief Brenda CONNECTIONS IN YOUR AREA Johnson.
BLOGS In the hands of a lesser actress, Johnson could seem like a totally phony character DISCUSSION BOARDS made up by a committee of writers to cover the demographic bases: she's from the Kyra Sedgwick, star of TNT's "The Closer," is the NEWS AND ADVOCACY South and sports a thick Southern drawl. daughter of an Episcopalian father and a Jewish She brings to her job interview skills she mother. She became more aware of her Jewish identity ABOUT IFF learned as a CIA interrogator. She has a when her mother remarried a Jewish army vet. Kyra is talent for clever and piercing interrogations married to Kevin Bacon (L), a non-practicing Catholic. REUTERS/Mario Anzuoni (UNITED STATES) PRESS ROOM that "close" a case. Her toughness and personality quirks turn people off. Sounds STORE like a closer-by-committee, doesn't it? But Sedgwick pulls it off, calling on the acting talent she's developed through nearly two decades of regular work in film. While she has never landed a star breakthrough role, Sedgwick consistently turned in good Find performances in films like Born on the Fourth of July and Singles. She played Jewish characters in two movies: the interesting indie film What's Cooking, and the excellent 1992 TV powered by FreeFind movie, Miss Rose White. In the latter film, she plays an American Jewish woman who was has to cope with the arrival from Europe of an older sister whom everyone thought perished in the Holocaust. Sedgwick, 42, was born in Manhattan to an upper class WASP (Episcopalian) father and a Jewish mother. Her father's family arrived in America on the Mayflower and her first cousin,
once-removed, was Edie Segwick, the famous '60s model whose life was the basis for the recent film, Factory Girl. In Abigail Pogebrin's Stars of David: Prominent Jews Talk About Being Jewish, Kyra Segwick says her mother was an "anti-Semitic Jew" who didn't really care about her own Jewish background. Her father was a nominal Episcopalian who would "hypocritically" run to church "every blue moon when he thought he was dying." Sedgwick cites the influence of her Jewish stepfather as pivotal to her eventual embrace of a Jewish identity. Her parents divorced when she was a young teen and her mother re-married a Jewish art dealer. She describes him as quite religious in his way. She says, "He often talked to me about what it meant to be a Jew, especially around Passover and it moved me. It Featured meant being responsible for your actions, for the community, giving back." Partners/Funders/Links When she was 17, she saw a movie about the Holocaust and became totally obsessed with
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the subject. She sought out Holocaust survivors in Manhattan and spoke with many of them. Her mother and father were taken aback by her interest. Her mother felt sorry for her and her father was sad and a bit angry that she would choose to be a Jew to the exclusion of his identity. Login Sedgwick says her "morose period" ended when her Jewish stepfather, who had served in the Army and had liberated Dachau concentration camp prisoners, told her that she needed to Login Name: "suck it up and move on." He didn't minimize or invalidate the horror of the Holocaust, she said. But he did make her gently see that while great evil can never be explained or forgotten, life has to go on. Password: Sedgwick told Pogrebin that she realizes that she looks like a blonde WASP and that has been a help in landing parts. But, still, she loves to tell people she is Jewish. Putting on a New York Jewish accent, she told Pogrebin: "I'm a New Yawk Jew! Bawn and raised!"
Not Signed Up? Find Out More. In 1988, she married actor Kevin Bacon, a non-practicing Catholic, in a civil ceremony and they have two children. She says, "I didn't want religion involved in any way [in the wedding] because I don't know who God is for me. The thing is, I don't really know how to pass on any kind of feelings of what it means to be a Jew to my children." Her kids go to a Passover seder with her every year and Sedgwick says, "I think that they get some meaning from that. But I would feel hypocritical to suddenly start [practicing Judaism]-- it's perhaps shameful in some way--but I would feel that suddenly to light the Hanukkah lights or do the Jewish rituals would be irresponsible in some way. I wish [however] that I had a faith and I wish that I really believed there was something other than ourselves that we could count on and listen to for guidance." Meanwhile, from Judaism, Sedgwick says, she takes a feeling of responsibility to the world that she expresses through involvement in various volunteer organizations. All-Stars of David Major League Baseball's All-Star Game, which will be played today, July 10, marks the half- way point of the major league season. In April, I wrote a column that covered the Jewish players in the major leagues as of the start of this season. (As I said in that item, I define a Jewish player as a player with at least one Jewish parent who doesn't identify with a faith other than Judaism). Here's an update on one player and an addition to the list of Jewish major leaguers. The outstanding Jewish player of this season has to be Red Sox first baseman Kevin Youkilis. He is having what sports writers refer to as a breakthrough season. He always was a "tough out" with an uncanny ability to draw a walk. But this season he has been hitting great and his fielding has been stellar. As I write this, Youkilis is hitting .329, with 44 RBIs and nine homers. He has been among the American League leaders in batting average all season. Unfortunately, he isn't on the All-Star team due to a quirk. The game is being played in San Francisco this year, a National League city. The National League does not have a designated hitter position, unlike the American League, and there are no designated hitters in the all-star game when the game is played in a National League stadium. Each team can list one player for each position on the all-star ballot. At the start of this season, the Red Sox listed Dave Ortiz, their heavy-hitting designated hitter, as their first baseman on the All-Star ballot. Youkilis was left out in the cold and despite some write-in votes, he couldn't overcome the handicap of being left off the ballot. Maybe next year he will make the team. Youkilis, who was raised in a Conservative Jewish home and was a bar mitzvah, probably has the most substantial Jewish religious background of any current Jewish major leaguer. On May 25, outfielder Ryan Braun was called up from the minors to play for the Milwaukee Brewers. Born and raised in Southern California, Braun was drafted No. 5, overall in the 2005 draft. A great hitter, he hit the cover off the ball on the Brewers' spring training squad, but was sent to the Triple-A Nashville Sounds to work on his rather weak fielding skills. Braun's fielding still isn't great, but he has been tearing up the league with his bat since being called-up. He was named National League Rookie of the Month for June, with a .382 average, six homers, and a .716 slugging percentage. As I write this, his average has 'slipped' to a mere .353 and he has 12 homers. Braun's father is Jewish and his mother is not Jewish. Although raised in no faith, he is clearly proud of his Jewish background as you can see in this recent interview with the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel. Also, Jason Marquis, a pitcher with the Chicago Cubs and the son of two Jewish parents, is in the midst of what could be a career year. He is 6-4 with an ERA of 3.31, which ranks 11th in the National League. The Kiwi Cohen
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Eagle v. Shark, a quirky comedy from New Zealand, opened on Friday, July 6, in select theaters. The movie is about a charming young woman who takes a fancy to a rather unlikable young man. The title refers to the outfits they wear to a costume party they go to on their first date. The film is directed by Taika Waititi, 28, who alternately bills himself as Taika Cohen. Waititi is Taika's Maori father's surname, while Cohen is his Jewish mother's last name. A multi- talented guy, Taika uses his father's name for his work as a photographer and musician. He uses "Cohen" for his work as an actor, writer and film director. He says he does this to "avoid being typecast as a Maori artist, as opposed to a Maori in the arts." The Maori, the original Polynesian inhabitants of New Zealand, impressed the British settlers who colonized New Zealand in the 19th century. The Maoris' skin tone is relatively light and they were fierce warriors who often managed to fight the British to a standstill. These factors combined to convince many British that the Maoris must not be just another "inferior" non- white aboriginal people, but rather descendants of the 10 lost tribes of Israel. Cohen recently told a group of Los Angeles reporters that his parents didn't really practice any religion, except for observing a few Jewish holidays. He then added one odd detail: his father's Maori tribe (but not his father) practices a "homegrown" religion, called Binatu, which combines some traditional Maori religious practices with a belief in what Christians refer to as the "Old Testament" (or simply the Bible to Jews). Influenced by some 19th century British Christian missionaries, Binatu followers maintain that they are descendants of the 10 lost tribes.
Nate Bloom writes a column on Jewish celebrities, broadly defined, that appears in five Jewish newspapers. If you have any comments or wish to republish parts of this article, please contact Bloom via [email protected].
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CURRENT WEB MAGAZINE ISSUE Emerging Canadian Star is a Happy "Half-Breed"
ARTICLE ARCHIVE By Andy Levy-Ajzenkopf Reprinted with permission of the Canadian Jewish News. Originally published under the title Life-Cycle Ceremonies "Jewish-Ojibwa Singer-Actor Talks About Her Mixed Heritage." Holidays March 22, 2007 Relationships Tamara Podemski proudly refers to herself as a "fully functional half-breed." Spirituality But the driven Toronto singer/actor/dancer does nothing in half measures. Arts and Entertainment Born to an Israeli father and Ojibwa mother, Podemski has, so far, carved out Books as full a career as any 29-year-old could hope for. Films, Theater, TV and Music To date, she's recorded three full-length Interviews and Profiles albums (two in the Ojibwa language), News and Opinion starred on Canadian TV in the shows "Dance Me Outside," "The Rez," "Moose InterfaithFamily.com TV" and "Ready or Not," held a lead role in the Canadian and Broadway casts of InterfaithFamily.com Magazine Past "Rent," and last January, won the Special Issues By Year Jury Prize for Acting at the Sundance Film Festival for her part in the U.S. film Four CONNECTIONS IN YOUR AREA Sheets To The Wind. Tamara Podemski as Miri Smallhill in Four Sheets To BLOGS The Wind. Photo courtesy Four Sheets To The Wind She was the first Canadian actress to receive this prize. DISCUSSION BOARDS In 2006, Podemski also garnered two Canadian Aboriginal Music Awards for her latest album, NEWS AND ADVOCACY the eponymous Tamara. One for best female artist and the other for best songwriter. Podemski is also an in-demand choreographer and dance teacher, with classes around ABOUT IFF Toronto in various dance styles. PRESS ROOM And according to her, she's just getting started.
STORE Fresh off a local radio interview, Podemski sat down with The CJN last week to talk about her successes, losses and the allure of Hollywood, where she hopes to re-energize her acting career.
Find "Tamara," released in 2006, represents the end of an unhappy chapter in her life and the launching point for a new beginning, said Podemski. powered by FreeFind The highly emotive, self-produced album was an outgrowth of personal and career hardships, and was written as she worked her way back from unhappy events in her life. After feeling wronged by prior record deals, Podemski founded her own music label, Mukwa Music, in order to produce an album she had control over.
"It was a very dark time when no one was showing me their support," Podemski said. "So this album was me saving myself and saying, 'You didn't get me down or shut me up.' Even after everything that happened to me, I should have shut down and gone into a hole, but I didn't. I won."
Despite her recent cinematic and musical acclaim, Podemski had to search hard to find her happiness again. "Everything after this album is a different woman," she explained. "I'm divorced. I've tackled
my career again. I'm not feeling sorry for myself anymore or heartbroken and no longer depressed about the state of my life. I was losing hope… but even though I still have to fight Featured against the demons, as we all do, it's becoming an easier fight." Partners/Funders/Links Her joy at getting a "juicy" role to play in Four Sheets To The Wind, followed by the Sundance win and subsequent eager calls from Hollywood casting agents, finally convinced her that it
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was time to set out on a new artistic journey. After nearly 30 years as a Torontonian, Podemski will move to Los Angeles this April in search of better acting prospects. Login She's gone down there, found a place to stay, set up her management and legal teams and started going to auditions. Login Name: "I'd like some amazing scripts to come my way. I'd like to do a lot more acting," she said. "I think I left that world for too long. I forgot how much I loved it." Password: Though she's winding down the Toronto chapter of her life, she is mindful of her roots here. "My cultures have only enriched my life," Podemski said. "It's deeply spiritual in terms of giving me faith to accomplish my dreams. Giving me the belief in a higher power. Giving me support Not Signed Up? Find Out More. by my understanding of how I fit into the world, that comes from both [cultures]." Her will to succeed stems primarily from her family and the lessons she learned from their experiences, she said. "I know exactly who I am. I am Jewish/Israeli, I am Ojibwa and everything that that means to me," she said with conviction. "My personal family history has been a huge presence in my life. When you come from survivors on both sides… I think you live your life differently." Podemski has visited Poland's concentration camps with her paternal grandfather, been taught about her Native past and the struggles of her maternal family and has come away with a philosophy of life that she and her two sisters (artists in their own right), practice daily. "[We] are overachievers because we live really hard and live life like if it ended tomorrow, we've lived our lives to the fullest," Podemski said. "I know my roots and I know that I have that blood inside of me that fights to survive." Podemski said that being a "half-breed" often led people to think she and her siblings had no sense of place in the world. An assumption she utterly refuted. "The only problems came when people didn't want to include us in whatever community event because we didn't fit into what their image of Jewish was or Native was. But that was their problem. We always had a great sense of self," she said. "We could go to any [reservation] in North America and be at home or go to any place in Israel and feel comfortable." Which should make adjusting to Hollywood seem easy by comparison. For more information or to purchase her albums visit, www.tamarapodemski.com.
Andy Levy-Ajzenkopf is a staff reporter for the Canadian Jewish News
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CURRENT WEB MAGAZINE ISSUE Won't You Be My Neighbor?
ARTICLE ARCHIVE By Suzanne Koven The title of Malik Chabane's film Voisins Voisines (retitled "Neighbors" in English) can be Life-Cycle Ceremonies translated literally as "Male Neighbors Female Neighbors." Though awkward, this title is in Holidays keeping with the theme of the film, which is duality: Man and woman, Jew and Muslim, immigrant and native-born French, all crowded together and yet each isolated by his or her Relationships own private yearnings. Though at first Voisins Vosines seems modest in scope, with a small cast of quirky characters whose sparse dialogue is punctuated by a mesmerizing staccato rap Spirituality beat, it is actually quite ambitious; it takes on no less a question than how human beings can go beyond merely co-existing with one another. Arts and Entertainment The film is set in a seedy apartment building on the outskirts of Paris and includes a pastiche Books of stories about its residents. The Macers (Nora Armani and Hakim Sarahoui), an interfaith couple who occupy one of the apartments in the "Mozart Flats," best represent the theme of Films, Theater, TV and Music duality. One senses that the Muslim husband and Jewish wife have not so much an interfaith marriage as a co-faith merger. Everything between them is equal… and separate. She wears Interviews and Profiles a Jewish star around her neck; he wears a Hamsa. She drinks Coke out of a bottle with a News and Opinion Hebrew label; his label is Arabic. She observes Shabbat; he observes Ramadan. They lead reasonably harmonious yet parallel lives. InterfaithFamily.com Their neighbors, we learn, are similarly at InterfaithFamily.com Magazine Past peace and yet disengaged from one Issues By Year another. Like the Americans and the Soviets during the Cold War (which comes CONNECTIONS IN YOUR AREA up in Voisins Voisines when Paco, the building's superintendent, notices books on BLOGS the topic on a tenant's shelf), Chabane is saying that we attempt to maintain our DISCUSSION BOARDS peace and security by keeping our distance from one another. NEWS AND ADVOCACY Into this tense and unsatisfying situation ABOUT IFF enters Moussa Diop (Insa), an African-born rap artist who moves into the Mozart Flats and begins composing songs about its PRESS ROOM In Voisins Voisines (called "Neighbors" in English), Moussa Diop (Insa), an African-born rap artist, shakes residents. He, like we, see the tenants' STORE up the frosty peace in a Paris apartment building by secret longings: Paco (Frédéric literally breaking down one resident's door. Photo Diefenthal) wants to move beyond his courtesy Family Films, Paris hoodlum past. Mme. Gonzales (Anémone) wants to pay off the mortgage on the Find building while her husband (Jackie Berroyer) longs for a position in the mayor's office. Monsieur Malouf (Mohamed Fellag) tries in vain to purchase a Muslim cemetery plot, and powered by FreeFind elderly Mme. Pattison (Sarah Maldoror) hopes to find something other than bills and junk in her mailbox. Moussa, who himself yearns to be more than a teen idol, decides to shake things up, to literally break down the walls between his new neighbors. He knocks down the beautiful but lonely Alice's (Gwendoline Hamon) door and then sits back to watch what happens: The tenants get together to discuss how to prevent further "crimes" in the building and install a video surveillance system which serves to expose Alice and Monsieur Macer's affair.
"You can't leave me after all we've been though," cries Monsieur Macer to his wife in one of the film's funniest scenes. "Your parents, my parents. The rabbi, the imam… " To which Madame Macer replies "I know. The Gulf War, the Intifadas… what else?" Along with the husband's infidelity, Moussa's mischief has revealed the absurdity of the Macers' version of intermarriage in which every aspect has been labeled "His" (Muslim) or "Hers" (Jewish) with scrupulous fairness and utter sterility. After this exposure the marriage appears to become stronger, until another infidelity ("Hers") occurs--though it does not seem at all unlikely that the couple will again reunite.
At its conclusion, Voisin Voisines offers an Featured original and unsentimental vision of a Partners/Funders/Links messy utopia in which the aromas of kefta, paella, mafe and Pakistani grilled corn mingle in the hallways; a utopia in which
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barriers between people erode and neighbors begin to interact, risk conflict, share their dreams. This vision may be read as both a message to intermarried Login couples and to the French immigrant communities in such turmoil during the Login Name: making of this film: Engage your differences. Risk vulnerability Break down the walls. Password: Voisins Voisines will be shown at the Museum of Fine arts in Boston on June 19 and 22, 2007, as a co-presentation of the Boston Jewish Film Festival and the Not Signed Up? Find Out More. French Consulate. For more information Even the married couples in Voisins Voisines maintain a visit bjff.com. Look for it at a Jewish film polite distance from each other. Photo courtesy Family festival near you. Films, Paris
Suzanne Koven practices medicine and lives with her Italian- American Jewish family in the Boston area.
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