ABSTRACT Title of Dissertation: the LIVED EXPERIENCE of BEING IN

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ABSTRACT Title of Dissertation: the LIVED EXPERIENCE of BEING IN ABSTRACT Title of dissertation: THE LIVED EXPERIENCE OF BEING IN A SACRED PLACE CONSTRUCTED AS AN ARCHETYPAL CIRCLE Mary J. (Jan) Carroll, Doctor of Philosophy, 2007 Dissertation directed by: Professor Francine H. Hultgren Department of Education Policy and Leadership The purpose of this study is to understand the meaning of women’s lived experiences of major archetypes revealed through a “walk about” journey around the directions of a sacred circle. Significant themes are opened up through hermeneutic phenomenological methodology and developed using metaphorical language related to the images that surfaced. Four women took part in several, in-depth, guided imagery sessions with the researcher where they explored different directions of a sacred circle. Their visions and interpretations of this experience, coupled with literary and philosophic sources, further reveal the deeper meaning of a sacred experience and the power of this extraordinary way of exploring women’s interior lives. Multiple metaphors surfaced related to the explored archetypes which were the warrior, divine child, goddess, sage, mother earth, father sky and center. The research opens us to a deeper understanding of a “walk about” in circle by exploring such themes as listening, interconnectedness, relationships, double belongingness, groundedness, freedom, authenticity, justice, the body’s felt sense of being, discernment, attunement, nowness, trust, reverence, the flesh, wilderness, balance, reversibility, intertwining, crossing the chiasm, mirroring, mystical participation, reflection, comportment, moodedness, and the nature of sitting between, to name a few. Through the voices of these “walk about” women, the knowledge gathered illuminates the elements of what it means to be in a sacred circle and face the powerful archetypes that reside in different regions of the soul landscape. Through this research we come to know an educational process that can serve to reshape women’s perceptions of who they are in relation to their souls and a prayerful respect for self that can support both their personal and spiritual growth. This work is also a personal account of my lived experience of as researcher who actually went on vision quest, used the archetypal circle of healing and wholeness, and participated in Sun Dance to understand the phenomenon. My voice echoes the participants’ experiences and themes. Each woman’s nature and soul becomes elevated by having taken a “walk about” in an archetypal circle. THE LIVED EXPERIENCE OF BEING IN A SACRED PLACE CONSTRUCTED AS AN ARCHETYPAL CIRCLE Mary J. (Jan) Carroll Dissertation submitted to the Faculty of the Graduate School of the University of Maryland, College Park in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy 2007 Advisory Committee: Dr. Francine Hultgren, Advisor and Chair Dr. Gloria Carpeneto Dr. Susan Komives Dr. Jing Lin Dr. Maggie Neal ©Copyright by Mary J. (Jan) Carroll 2007 DEDICATION I dedicate this work to my dear friends, Peggy Parks and Maggie Neal. Their support and belief in the topic made this work possible. I dedicate it to Francine Hultgren whose tireless editing and advising polished the writing into what you now read. To my husband, John, whose nature and character constantly inspire me to new growth, I give thanks for your quiet presence and caring support. To Henry Neisi, “Wild Goose,” for his wisdom stories and the opportunity to observe Sun Dance Ceremony at Eagle Voice Center. ii ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS My sincere appreciation goes to my committee members: Francine Hultgren, Gloria Carpeneto, Susan Komives, Jing Lin, and Maggie Neal. Their supportive and insightful comments helped shape this effort into a scholarly work. I also want to acknowledge the assistance and support of the women who participated in this study. They made this work possible by agreeing to learn a new way of listening to their souls and by their courage to reveal their experiences. I am grateful for their sharing and their affirmation that this is a meaningful experience. I want to acknowledge my love and appreciation for my parents and sons who shaped my soul and had a part in making this study a reality. I would like to thank the following individuals and publishers for giving me permission to use their copyrighted materials: HarperCollins Publishers for reprint permission of excerpts from Heidegger, M. (1962). Being and time (J. Macquarrie & E. Robinson, Trans.). San Francisco: Harper Collins Publishers. (Originally work published 1926) Harper Collins Publishers for reprint permission of excerpts from Heidegger, M. (1971). Poetry, language, thought (A. Hofstadter, Trans.). New York: Harper & Row. Harper Collins Publishers for reprint permission of excerpts from Moore, T. (1994). Care of the soul: A guide for cultivating depth and sacredness in everyday life. New York: Harper Perennial. HarperCollins Publishers for reprint permission of excerpt from Morgan, M. (1994). Mutant message down under. New York: Harper Collins Publishers. Indiana University Press for reprint permission of excerpts from pages xii, 27, 36, 55-56, 61-62, 91, 102-104, 113, 177, 194, 219, 234, 253, 308-309 in Casey, E. S. (1993). Getting back into place: Toward a renewed understanding of the place-world. Bloomington: Indiana University Press. iii Jelaluddin Rumi’s poems, The food sack, Unfold your own myth, The center of the fire, Two kinds of intelligence and excerpts from Only breath, in Barks, C. (1997). The essential Rumi (C. Barks, J. Moyne, A. J. Arberry, & R.Nicholson, Trans.). Edison, NJ: Castle Books. Reprint permission granted by C. Barks at Maypop Books. Jelaluddin Rumi’s poem, The real work, in Barks, C. & Green, M. (1997). The illuminated Rumi (C. Barks, Trans. & M. Green, Illustrator.). New York: Broadway Books. Reprint permission granted by Random House, Inc. Jon Progoff for reprint permission to quote the entrance meditation, The center point within me, from Progoff, I. (1980). The Practice of Process Meditation: The Intensive Journal® Way to Spiritual Experience. New York: Dialogue House Library. Northwestern University Press for reprint permission of excerpt from page 130 in Husserl, E. (1970). The crisis of European sciences and transcendental Phenomenology: An introduction to Phenomenological Philosophy. (D. Carr, Trans.). Evanston: Northwestern University Press. (Original work published 1938) Northwestern University Press for reprint permission of excerpts from Merleau-Ponty, M. (1968). The visible and the invisible (C. Lefort, Ed.; A. Lingis, Trans.). Evanston: Northwestern University Press. (Original work published 1948) Paulist Press, Inc. for reprint permission of excerpts from pages 74-75 in Savary, L. M., Berne, P. H., & Williams, S. K. (1984). Dreams and spiritual growth: A Judeo-Christian way of dreamwork. New York: Paulist Press. Random House for reprint permission of excerpts from pages 228-230 in Bear Heart & Larkin, M. (1998). The wind is my mother: The life and teachings of a Native American shaman. New York: Berkley Books. Random House for reprint permission of excerpts from five pages in Pinkola Estes, C. (1992). Women who run with the wolves: Myths and stories of the wild woman archetype. New York: Ballantine Books. Random House for reprint permission of excerpts from pages 215 & 236 in Singer, J. (1994). Boundaries of the soul: The practice of Jung’s psychology. NewYork: Doubleday. Originally published in 1972. Random House for reprint permission of excerpts from pages 89 & 162 in Campbell, J. (1988). The power of myth with Bill Moyers (B. S. Flowers, Ed.). New York: Doubleday. Simon & Schuster for reprint permission of excerpts from Lame Deer, J., & Erdoes, R. (1972). Lame Deer: Seeker of visions. New York: Pocket Books. iv Simon & Schuster for reprint permission of excerpts from one page in Mehl-Madrona, L. (1998). Coyote medicine: Lessons from Native American healing. New York: Simon & Schuster. Suny Press for reprint permission of excerpts from van Manen, M. (1990). Researching lived experience: Human science for an action sensitive pedagogy. Western, Ontario: The Althouse Press. University of Oklahoma Press for reprint permission of excerpts from Brown, J. E. (Ed.). (1980). The sacred pipe: Black Elk’s account of the seven rites of the Oglala Sioux. New York: Penquin Books. v TABLE OF CONTENTS Chapter I: BECOMING WHOLE: THE ARCHETYPE OF THE CIRCLE 1 A “Walk About” Journey 1 Genesis of a “Walk About” 2 Being Thrown Off-Balance: My Experience of Traditional Medicine 3 Being Called Home: Dying, the Return to Center 5 Medicine circle and the mandala 6 Mandala circles 9 Archetypes 9 The Black Mandala: Entering into Relationship with Embodied Pain 10 Taking Time to Regroup While Wondering 12 Notions of dis-ease 13 Symbol immersion 14 A “Walk About “With the Chalice Symbol 15 East: The Place of Eagle Power 15 South: The Power of Mouse, Coyote, or the “Divine Child” 17 West: The Power of Bear and Intuition 19 North: The Power of the Sage and the Buffalo 20 Center: The Great Mystery and The Transcendent Function 21 Uncovering Inner Depths of Being: Confirming Truth 22 Reflecting Back 24 Projecting Forward 25 Hermeneutic Phenomenology 26 Van Manen’s Framework for Phenomenological Research 26 Pre-understandings Held by the Researcher 27 Organization of the Journey 28 Chapter II: UNFOLDING THE NATURE OF BEING IN A SACRED 32 PLACE Becoming Djang 32 Packing a Dilly Bag 33 Body Ear Sense(ing) 35 Mindful Attention to the Silence of Being 41 Digging Deep to Reveal Buried Memories 50 Experiences
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