Remembrance2020 / 5781
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BOOK OF Remembrance2020 / 5781 THE DUST RETURNS TO THE EARTH AS IT WAS, AND THE SPIRIT RETURNS TO GOD WHO GAVE IT. -ECCLESIASTES 12:7 INTRODUCTION TO YIZKOR YIZKOR ELOHIM - may God remember - is the classic expression of Jewish hope and prayer for our departed loved ones. This prayer captures the indelible link between Divine memory and our own. We remember our loved ones by asking for God’s memory. God, in turn, remembers the souls of all the living and dead, asking us to remember those who have passed on. Like the Ner Tamid, the Eternal Light, which needed to be rekindled daily, we too must relight the memorial candles each year for our loved ones. We take this time to remember and give thanks for those loved ones who are no longer here. A MESSAGE FROM RABBI JUDITH L. SIEGAL: MAKING MEMORY A BLESSING This has been a difficult year of loss. There have been almost one million people in the world that have died from COVID as of the writing of this Book of Remembrance in September of 2020. Many of us know someone who has died from COVID. The loss of life has been compounded by the need to be socially distant and not in person to comfort one another after the loss of a loved one. We have had zoom funerals and shiva minyans, something we could not have imagined before. But, there has been a silver lining – by doing memorials via zoom, family members from around the world have sometimes been able to participate in services that they otherwise would not have. Judaism is an amazingly adaptive religion. Someone said at a zoom funeral lately, “this seems so un-Jewish,” but the reality is that Judaism has always changed to adapt to the situation. On this yizkor, take the time to remember. Tell the stories of your loved ones. Pass along their stories to someone else and make those memories into true blessings. May the memories of all of those we loved and who loved us become a blessing. Zichronam Livracha! A MESSAGE FROM RABBI JONATHAN FISCH: SHARING IS CARING There is no greater bedtime story than sharing a tale from my past. Ayla will ask me about what I was like as a kid, or to hear stories about growing up with Grandma and Grandpa. More often than not, I try to retell a tale that honors those who are alive no more. A conscious decision on my part because I want my girls to grow up “knowing” their grandparents who they are named after. They will hear about my Grandpa Alan Fisch, or my Grandma Ethel Rothstein or my oldest Friend Meredith McFarland, all of whom they are named after. By sharing these stories, I connect them to their past, their history and begin to bond their soul with the soul of those who live no more. As Jews, we show that we care by sharing the very stories that express the qualities of our loved ones. As you engage in Yizkor, or if you want to honor the deceased, share a story about their life, their legacy, their impact on you or the world, and in turn, you will connect their very essence to the individual you are sharing it with. Anachnu Zochrim v’Anachnu Cholkim – We Remember and We Share…. WORDS OF WISDOM FROM RABBI PETER S. KNOBEL (z”L) The following was written for a Yizkor Service at Beth Emet the Free Synagogue by Rabbi Peter Knobel in 2017. We share it this year as we remember Rabbi Knobel, who served our community as the Interim Senior Rabbi: Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a present. My wife Elaine shared a quotation she found on a friend’s Facebook page: “Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a present. During Yizkor, I think about the people and events which influenced my life. I think about what I have accomplished and what I failed to accomplish. Yizkor is a bittersweet time of remembrance. It pulls us backward in time. We cannot redo or relive the past, but remembering can be a spur to committing the mysterious future which lies ahead. We ask, “what are the lessons we have learned? Can they propel us to do better with the time we have left?” As I sit here during this service I realize how quickly the years have passed. In my youth, time seemed infinite but now my mortality stares me in the face. Intellectually, I know the bulk of my life has passed, but I refuse to surrender to the conclusion that it is time to withdraw from the struggle to make the world better. Each day is a present. Each day is a gift. Each day is an opportunity to wipe away a tear, to encourage another to smile, to learn something new and to do something good. I admire those who came before me and paved the way for me and whose lives, presence, and wisdom remained with me until they took their last breath. Their encouragement and courage remain not only as a constant reminder of the preciousness of life, but also the importance of relationships. So many of the people whom I loved and who loved me are dead - the living become all the more precious. There were times in the past when my presence was needed but when life’s exigencies caused me to be physically, spiritually, or psychologically unavailable. I regret not being there whether because of happenstance or negligence. This service of memory calls upon me - calls upon all of us - to make greater efforts to be present to others. We know the past is history and we cannot rewind the clock, but we can try to do better because the future remains a mystery... As I look backward and ahead, I am deeply grateful for the years God has given me, for the many blessings I have been granted and for the many people I have known and who influenced me. The memories of those who died are a blessing. I pray that when my time comes those who knew me will say.”Zechrono Levracha - his memory is for a blessing.” Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a present. THE DASH BY LINDA ELLIS I read of a man who stood to speak at the funeral of a friend. He referred to the dates on the tombstone from the beginning… to the end. He noted that first came the date of birth and spoke of the following date with tears, but he said what mattered most of all was the dash between those years. For that dash represents all the time they spent alive on earth and now only those who loved them know what that little line is worth. For it matters not, how much we own, the cars… the house… the cash. What matters is how we live and love and how we spend our dash. So think about this long and hard; are there things you’d like to change? For you never know how much time is left that still can be rearranged. To be less quick to anger and show appreciation more and love the people in our lives like we’ve never loved before. If we treat each other with respect and more often wear a smile… remembering that this special dash might only last a little while. So when your eulogy is being read, with your life’s actions to rehash, would you be proud of the things they say about how you lived your dash? ESA ENAI אֶ ָּׂשא ﬠֵינַי, אֶל- ֶה ָה ִרים, ֵמאַי ִן י ָ ֹבא ﬠֶזְ ִרי ,Esah einai el heharim ﬠֶזְ ִרי ֵמﬠִם י ְהו ָה ֹע ֵׂשה ׁ ָש ַמי ִם ו ָאָ ֶרץ .meayin yavo ezri Ezri me'im Adonai oseh shamayim v’et haaretz. WHEN YOU WERE HERE BY ZELDA When you were here, Your brown glance protecting me And our thoughts touching suddenly wing to wing, When you were with me Among the passing things, The walls were like elderly relations Telling ancient tales in the evenings As we drank our tea. Now the walls are no shelter. Withdrawn into their own silence, They pay no attention to my fall. Now the walls are plaster and concrete, A strange element, Matter Unresponsive as death. PSALM 23 A Psalm of David. The LORD is י ְהו ָה ֹרﬠִי, לֹא אֶ ְח ָסר. my shepherd; י ְהו ָה ֹרﬠִי, לֹא אֶ ְח ָסר. י ְהו ָה ֹרﬠִי, לֹא אֶ ְח ָסר. .I shall not want בי ְ הו ִבָּנהְ אוֹֹרתﬠִי , ֶ דּׁלֶֹשאא , אֶי ַ ְְחר ָסִבּיר.צֵ נִי; יﬠבְַ ל ה-ו ָ ִבּ ֵמהנְי א ֹרוֹ ְמﬠִנתֻי ,ח ֶדּוֹׁלֹ ֶתשא יאְ,נַאֶ יֲהְַח ְרלֵ ָסנִִבּייר.. צֵ נִי; God maketh me to lie down in י ְבה ו ָהִבּ נְ ֹראוֹﬠִית, ֶלדֹּׁאֶש אאֶ, ְחי ַ ְָרסרִבּ.י צֵנִי; ﬠַב ל - ִבֵּמניְ אוְֹמנֻת חוֶֹדּׁת ֶש י ְאנַ, ֲהי ַ ְלֵרנִיִבּ.י צֵנִי; green pastures; God leadeth me ﬠַל- ֵמי ְמנֻחוֹת י ְנַ ֲהלֵנִי. גב ﬠַ לנַ- ִבּפְׁנֵמְי ִשא יוֹ ְמיתְנֻ שׁ ֶחוֹדּׁוֹ ֵבֶשתב אי; ְ, נ ַ י ַ ֲה ְ רל ֵ ִבּנִי.צֵ נִי; .beside the still waters ב ִבּנְאוֹת ֶדּׁ ֶשא, י ַ ְר ִבּיצֵנִי; י ַגﬠַנ ְ ל ֵחנ-ַנִיפְֵׁמ י ִשְבי ְמ ַמינְֻﬠְשׁחגְּוֹלֵ ֵבית- בי;ְצֶנ ַ ֶ ד ֲה קלֵ, נ ִי.לְ ַמﬠַן ׁ ְשמוֹ. ﬠַג ל -נַ ֵמפיְׁ ִש ְמי נֻי ְחוֹשׁוֹת ֵב י ְבנַ; ֲה לֵ נִ י. God restoreth my soul; God י ַגנְ ֵחנִַיפְ ׁ ְבִשי ַמ י ְﬠְגּשְׁוֹלֵיֵב-בצֶ; ֶד ק , לְ ַמﬠַן ׁ ְשמוֹ.