Southside Demolition Southside's much-publicised renovation make refurbishment cheaper, though delaying (Felices ad nauseam) may give way to its total it even further. demolition in a new plan drawn up by College. iff //$ 4 'V The proposed replacement building will hold The landmark building, much maligned by over 500 bed-spaces in extreme proximity to residents, currently houses 390 students dur- ' Awt* College, much touted as one of the Rector's ing term-time but has become steadily less main residences goals - a useful increase of habitable with each passing year. Plans to tear 100 beds to offset planned halls sales. down the building have been thwarted by its Union President Sen Ganesh said that he Grade II listed status: The structure is consid- was "excited about the provision of higher ered to be exemplary of its style. The result is ' Is quality residences" and "keen for a quick deci- that refurbishment would require a huge sion", but expressed concern that the demoli- investment by College to maintain original fea- tion bid may do little other than set back the tures while maintaining the infrastructure nec- inevitable refurbishment. essary for students to live there. David Brookes-Wilson, Head of Estates, was The Southside refurbishment plan has reticent to comment before an official decision, repeatedly slipped from its 2001 schedule due Southside: Home of bar and student but stressed that all the options were "benefi- mainly to funding problems. However, despite cial to students". financing issues, work had been brought for- will have to be de-listed - something the The redevelopment of Eastside (Linstead ward to 2003-2004 due to grave concerns College will have to agree with the Government Hall and tennis courts) will undoubtedly follow, that the "critical infrastructure" may fail before while gaining support from preservation groups but with so many slipping deadlines, it remains the most recent refurbishment date of 2005. - certainly the biggest obstacle to the College's uncertain who will benefit. In order to pull the building down, Southside plans. Equally, de-listing the building might AW Cynical Sykes Snubs Protest Tom investigates Sykes' motiva- 650 Imperial students lined the that he would walk the protest tions for the UCL merger and route between the Rector's office route, but seemed not to take the top-up fees... and 170 Queen's Gate last Friday crowd very seriously as he smiled to protest about the proposed broadly during his two minute Alex vents his spleen (amongst introduction of tuition fees for walk to the College Council meet- other organs) about his finan- Imperial College students. ing where the proposal was to be cial worries... There seemed to be some con- presented. fusion among protesters inter- At the meeting, the proposal 2 "ltd be alright if you weren't such a bitch" http://www.union.ic.ac.uk/felix/ [email protected] 02 NEWS FELIX Crash! FELIX One of the minibuses provided by Issue 1245 the Union to clubs and societies was ... severely damaged in a crash last mt week, sending the Union's transport Editor Will Dugdale arrangements into chaos. . li Deputy Editor Alisdair Wren Nobody was hurt in the accident, Science Rosie Chandler which left the unfortunate bus over- Music Sajini Wijetilleka turned on a grass verge. The bus, Nightlife Patrick Hoar affectionately known as 'Fleb' may Film Simon North be written-off after the accident dur- Web Jenny Lewis ing a tour by the Mountaineering Coffee Break Mike 'n' Jim Club. Unfortunately, the bus' MOT, Sports Alex Coby declaring the vehicle roadworthy, had recently expired leaving uncer- tainty over whether insurance will Felix, Beit Quadrangle, Prince cover the damage. Consort Road, London Other clubs booked to use the bus SW7 2BB have had either to cancel their trips or to hire private transport for their She canna take much more of this, Captain! Tel: 020 7594 8072 excursions. Private hire requires a E-mail: [email protected] driver aged over twenty-five, further limited to those clubs with existing Felix could not establish any kind limiting the number of qualified driv- bookings. of repair and certification schedule Felix is a registered ers available to those clubs with can- The loss of 'Fleb' brings the total of for the buses, nor had any decision newspaper: celled Union bookings. available minibuses down to five out been made about whether 'Fleb' ISSN 1040-0711 An official responsible for transport of the Union's fleet of eleven, though would be written-off as the issue in the Union said that clubs would one of those is apparently "dodgy" went to press. Copyright © Felix 2002 not be refunded for money spent on while the other "has no oil", leaving In a new development, Imperial private hire due to concern that there only three that are genuinely usable. College Mountaineering Club may Printed by Witherbys, EC1 would be a "landslide" of claims for The rest are awaiting the MOT cer- now change their name to Minibus compensation - even if refunds were tificates that the crashed bus lacks. Crashers. AW Award for IC Radio IC Radio's science-based talk sponsors including BBC Radio 1, show Mission Impossible was BBC Radio Five Live and the nominated for a national Student Radio Academy. Many past win- Radio Award at a ceremony held ners and nominees have in London last week. launched successful careers in The show, put together by professional radio thanks to the Imperial's Science Awards. In 2000, IC Radio's web Communication stu- site www.icradio.com The won the award for the dents, was one of six Bank of England nominees in the cate- Best New Media gory of Best Speech- J Innovation. will be holding Based Programme The nominations a Career Presentation (Factual). were announced at at the To quote one of the several regional parties Sherfield Building, presenters, "Mission across Britain, with Impossible is to sci- the London event held Ground Floor, Ante Room ence what napalm is at LSE Students' to a bale of hay, Union. Up-and-coming 4th November, 2002 choosing to ignite the subject bands Careless and Bushbaby 6:30pm - 9pm with a refreshing brand of provided the music for a packed humour and intrigue." The show student audience. Also present blends together a variety of wide- were Radio l's Emma B, XFM's sign-up to attend at: [email protected] ranging ingredients, from topical Kevin Greening and the contro- science news to the radio soap versial presenter Jon Holmes. opera Empirical College. The main ceremony, hosted by The Student Radio Awards Emma B, will take place at began in 1996 and are strongly Goldsmiths College on Thursday supported by the industry, with November 14. Dave Edwards [email protected] We're still looking for departmental and halls correspondents FELIX COLUMN 03 What's In It For Sykes? During the last week, I have heard many sto- presided over the merger of GlaxoWellcome spending to cut taxes hence win votes. ries and ideas about the Rector's proposed and SmithKline Beecham. Even the Wellcome Drawing parallels to the rail industry, the gov- plans for the merger of UCL and IC, the £10k Trust (later pic) was not immune to him, being ernment is attempting to privatise an under- top-up fees, and the damaging effects that bought up in 1995 by Glaxo. He has a history funded state service. these will have on IC. Will the creation of a of merging organisations, so his philosophy is Sir Richard has a taste for running large 'new' University of London wobble the delicate very much 'bigger is better'. organisations. UCL is currently in a weak posi- balance already held, putting the smaller col- At least he can send his own kids to IC for tion; the incumbent Provost, Sir Derek Roberts leges into an endless spiral of decline? Why do £10k a year, since for 2000 and 2001, he is only temporarily on the job, and the previ- we want to dilute our good reputation with was paid a staggering £2.16m by gsk. But the ous Provost Sir Christopher Llewellyn Smith that of a University from which some of us Rector does not make as much money at IC as was booted out. Could Sir Richard be exploit- received an unconditional offer to study, whilst he used to at gsk, and merging with UCL is ing the situation to his personal advantage: an accepting an AAB offer from IC? unlikely to massively increase his own salary aggressive merger with a rudderless Conversely, many people have nothing but as Rector, currently about £140,000 pa. University? As merger partners go, LSE would praise for the plans. 'Fantastic!' 'Well done, But something must be on the cards; even a be a much better choice for IC, but LSE have the best thing that Imperial could do, merging man with his credentials wouldn't merge two already given us the proverbial finger. They with UCL.' Now we'll be a world class institu- Universities and introduce veritably reviled know that they have a strong brand, can tion able to compete 'on an international mar- top-up fees just for fun. attract the best students - and don't want to ket platform', attracting new students will Sir Richard serves on several committees - waste money on an expensive merger. remain as lucrative as it has been until now. most notably in this case the council for sci- It's well known that the favoured way of Even arts students will be able to come to IC, ence and technology - and has a steering role saying "thank you" to a supportive un-elected and we'll sort out our money problems in one in education policy. It comes as little surprise crony is to grant them a life peerage, or a seat fell swoop, too! that his paper 'pre-empts' the government in the House of Lords. The best thing is that So whilst there has been considerable white paper in November, and Margaret Sir Richard can choose to leave IC whenever debate on the effects of all this, it seems Hodge, higher education minister, has point- he wants. Merge with UCL, sell most of the nobody has addressed the causes. Why does edly refused to rule out top-up fees when buildings to fill funding gaps, take the money the Rector want to merge IC and UCL, and questioned by the education committee. In the off the students and then leave as Lord Sykes introduce top-up fees, and what's in it for him? current wave of 'neo-liberal' Thatcherism we of South Kensington, and watch the student The Rector, Sir Richard Sykes, previously are experiencing, it seems the government is number/ability decline. Reminiscent of the Chair of the board of GlaxoSmithKline (gsk), keen to divorce the Treasury from the coun- recent Glaxo share price movements, actually. formerly GlaxoWellcome, formerly Glaxo, try's universities and thus reduce public 7bm Tibbits To learn more about opportunities You could say that at Marakon we would like to invite a large group of you to our presentation Monday 28th October 6.45pm individuals is an Adelphi Room Meridien Waldorf Hotel, Aldwych impossible concept; Nearest Tubes - Holbom, Temple alternatively you For more information contact Emma Sorsky: could work for one. [email protected] viaiaKoii Associates strategic management consultants www.marakon.com Chicago London New York San Francisco Singapore MBMHBBHBHHMBHSHHM [email protected] The student newspaper of Imperial College 04 COLUMN FELIX Editorial Even as we speak, I am being very own editorial. It's called So now onto something else (I erotica based survey the college reminded of a time when I was, www.gonumber.net, and I really wonder if I've offended anyone yet, has ever seen! Although I'm not and I quote, "deeply pissed off and haven't been paid to talk about it: I except Al, of course.) Female eroti- really sure how. angry" during the last summer just think it's a really good idea. ca. I've been thinking about this Talk about anticlimax. This has term. I don't remember why, but so It's basically like having your own recently, and have discovered that all just come to me as I've been it must be, and apparently in that business card on the web, where there is no erotica (what men call writing this, so I'm not really organ- time I wrote a suitably offensive you can put all sorts of bits of infor- porn) for girls to look at. I have ised in my head with respect to editorial that totally failed to raise mation about yourself (mostly for found (but not in the way you're how this would work, but I'm get- any sort of controversy at all. Last keeping in contact at the moment), thinking) that most women don't ting pretty psyched about it, I can week I feel I did a similar thing, but different bits of which can be like the same stuff that men do, tell you. politically instead of personally, and viewed by the whole world, or just and prefer something with slightly So, if you (male or female) have again not one letter of abuse. by your mates. They've started by more story line and romance. So any ideas about the sort of ques- You're all either very open minded, trying to sell this to students, researching this (for purely intellec- tions I should ask, or if you just give very polite, or lazy. I know which because your details change the tual reasons, of course), I turned to the smallest most remote flying fig my money is on. whole time, but with this, you keep the friend in an hour of need, the about the idea, then e-mail me at So in an attempt to make my life the same ID on the website for life internet, which furnished me with Felix on [email protected] where I will more interesting (I'm going to do a (and you only pay once), and then exactly nothing. Now I know girls be waiting to see if a single person PhD one day to study what the you can change all the info in there have sex drives. And I suspect that replies. maximum amount of interest one as often as you want. visual stimulus can be... well... Then I will create the survey, and life can take is) I'm going to be very I'm not usually easily taken in, stimulating. So why is there noth- there will be a huge prize as an normal this week. Or so I intend. but I liked the idea, and the web- ing for the discerning female ero- incentive for bearing your deepest tophile? To start with, I'm going to tell you site is nice too, so go and have a darkest fantasies to me, a physics about a website. I very rarely do look at it, is my advice. There are To counter this, I have decided to graduate: but I met a girl once, this, and were it not for the fact posters all around college you can start a revolution, or perhaps my honest, guv'nor. that I'm positively avoiding talking look at too, if you're so inclined. own company, to provide for this While I am serious, it's worth about anything political, I would Incidentally if any company is hole in the market, and am asking noting that I seem to be much bet- probably put it somewhere else, now reading this and asks me to you, mostly the girls, admittedly, to ter at being offensive when I'm not but, as it is, here it shall be in my 'boost' their product, I won't. get involved in the largest female really trying... Come and find your future! 2 days m 4 rooms 97 companies and thousands of job vacancies! Wednesday & Thursday, November 6 & 7, llam-4pm Throughout the Union Building and in the Beit Quad, Prince Consort Rd. Visit the website from this Monday, www.union.ic.ac.uk/careersfairfor company details. [email protected] The student newspaper of Imperial College FELIX CAMPUS Wye 'Sup Wye Freshers Week 2002 guys who "work on being com- Canterbury, as usual, with no Friday, the Freshers Ball with a plete yobs, don't know the mean- major occurrences, except for the theme of Lord Of The Rings, Hello! Welcome to the first arti- ing of a quiet drink and take Freshers slowly getting used to was, I am told, a good night. cle from Wye by someone at pleasure in drinking anything being out of the recesses they Unfortunately, I was kidnapped Wye! Like it or not, we are here which resurfaces". Their call their rooms. by a bottle of wine and plenty of and it'll take a while before we Freshers Night is always a bit of Thursday night, a night spent vodka beforehand and, well, I go away again. Let's start with a mess and this year wasn't a big in a local pub, The Compasses, wish someone would tell me the Freshers Week. exception. Our poor Union Bar was a bit of a milestone, wasn't rest. All I know was I fell up the Well, another year begins and, found itself covered in trees, it Andy? Yes, that's right. Some stairs and woke up in pain. yes, I know this is a bit late. So shavings and beer cans aplenty, of you know him, others don't, Oops. Apparently, everyone loved what? We all like a bit of variety. but once the ... er ... civilised but Andy Shore, our respectable the ball and it was nice to see all Freshers Week for us country act of... well ... let's class it as Union President, did a classic. the Freshers finally in the open, bumpkins down in Wye is still a anatomy chundering for the sake Armed with two friends, a even if Ross was in a clown suit big thing, even though student of the press (I'm sure you know Fresher and no mobile with a sig- as the Garter's mascot. Bless. numbers are low. This year, with what I mean) got going and the nal, Andy decided to walk the Nevertheless, it was a good a first year intake of only 55 (8 Yard was brought out, it turned good 5 miles across the Kent week. We'll get those little peo- of which are blokes (Help us!)), into a bit of mess. Countryside over barbed wire ple out eventually, but, oh, how it has been a challenge. But, we Tuesday, Scottish Reeling, and through someone's conser- we suffer. gave it a go. awarded Adam Trehane with the vatory. About 2.30am, after I was planning to put sports Monday saw the infamous JSF Best Drunken Injury Award for falling asleep in the middle of the results etc. in this as well, but disco. For those of you who don't managing to injure himself in road, our Welfare Officer (Maria) since no one's actually written know, the JSF (or Jock Strap classic style and still being able got a phone call. When asked, anything you'll have to make do Farmers) is one of our drinking to dance on. "Where are you?" Andy replies, with this. Hopefully it'll be more clubs, described as a group of Wednesday was a pub crawl in "at a T-junction". Nice one. substantial next time. Hint hint. Live near Hammersmith,want to go to a Union Bar, but can't get to South Kensington? Join us in the Charing Cross Bar next to A&E, around the back of the hospital. Monday Quiz Tuesday Cocktail Night and Comedy every fortnight (see posters for details) Watch out for live Wednesday sport on the big screen 12am Bar Sports Night and bar promotions Thursday Music Nights (see posters for details) nw*»i sriT tfteiq stool li oris Mm lean rt Friday imperial Bar until lam, Bops every fortnight college (see posters for details) union www.su.ic.ac.uk/medic CHARING CROSS BAR [email protected] The student newspaper of Imperial College 06 COLUMN FELIX A wandering we shall go South of Snowdonia, only one ruined priory - the stuff of picture esting, giving us nice views over could hear the rain bashing on mountain range approaches postcards. We climbed up a the vale and surrounding hills. the window. High winds were 915m in Britain: the Brecon steep path to the top of the ridge The pub beckoned and we forecasted - not a day to go up on Beacons. The Brecon Beacons and on to the famous Offa's Dyke dropped back into the valley for a the tops then. Instead we drove National Park consists of the path - built to keep the pint, and a chat with the less to Pontneddfechan and walked Black Mountains to the East, the Welshmen out of England. The than sober locals. The country along the valley to the potholes at Beacons in the centre and, con- views into England were lovely, roads on the drive back to the Ystradfelte, which made a perfect fusingly, the Black Mountain in and as we walked along in the barn proved to be too much of a lunch stop. The walk back in the the West. On Friday night, 11 of sunshine it really couldn't have challenge for the bus, resulting in afternoon included the main us met up at the union with this been more pleasant. Before too it getting stuck in the mud. With attraction of the day, where the national park as our destination. long we arrived at the first trig a bit of brute strength, the men path passes behind a waterfall. Despite the inadequacies of the Seeing as we were all already union bus, we set off in good soaked from the rain, no one time for the hills. The traffic was minded getting wetter and it took heavy and Wales felt very far sometime before the novelty of away, even further due to the this waterfall wore off. lack of radio in the bus, but we Unfortunately, all good things kept spirits high, and were soon come to an end, and it was time at the chippy in Caerleon. A small to head back. The lack of radio hop further and we arrived at our on the way back got too much luxury accommodation in Brecon. and everyone decided to make We said hello to the other resi- their own entertainment by dents in the bunkhouse and a few singing a variety of classic songs bevvies ensued, after which we from the Beatles and Queen. It were all pretty tired and retired to didn't sound good, and the driv- our beds. ers contemplated the various dif- We were all woken by a beau- ferent methods of suicide. We tiful sunrise in the morning, apart point - Hay Bluff - just in time for managed to push us out and stopped off at the Crown and from some of the girls who were dinner. Revived and full of energy, thankfully we could carry on Horns for dinner, where we, by woken by Chris in his boxers mis- we climbed up to the next trig home. Thanks guys! On our pure fluke, bumped into ex-presi- taking their room for his. point after lunch. This one was return to the barn we all ate too dent Sam, before we headed for Apparently this was not such a the highest point of the day, and much curry and Rich and Chris home and our much-needed beautiful sight! Our walk started was named 'The Lord of had a chilli eating competition. It beds. from Llantony in the Black Hereford's Knob'. I kid you not. really is amusing to see grown Interested in Fellwanderers? Mountains. This is a picturesque The ridge on the way back was men cry! Visit: village with a very impressive sharper and therefore more inter- Waking on the Sunday we www.su.ic.ac.uk/fellwanderers And Alex Said... Being a student is all about coping Vegetables are cheap. I bought an which is probably why I was in some tea will be heartily dis- with a small budget, and if you're onion the other day. I got home plagued by theft when I was in gusting. The only thing left to do is especially thrifty, you can usually and looked at the receipt, and it halls. I was particularly distressed tempt your milk thief, and there is stretch out a year's student loan to cost 8p. Now, on its own, that by the loss of four Cornish Pasties. nothing more tempting to some- cover your expenses in London for wasn't a very nice meal at all, and When I noticed my milk was going body who is looking to steal some about three weeks. I probably should missing, I devised a milk than a big sign attached to As a very old man once mum- have bought some cunning plan. some milk, saying "PLEASE DO bled to me when I asked him for indigestion tablets to No doubt several NOT STEAL MY MILK". So, try financial advice, "look after the go with it, but at of you are also expe- that. No need to wait around - you penis, and the pandas will look least it hardly cost riencing milk loss, so should be able to hear the retching after themselves". I don't know me anything. Cash! do what I did: wait from your bedroom. what he meant either, and it cost Second, scrimp on until you've only got Of course it's not just students me my job at the local zoo, but rent by living in a rat- a few centimetres of who face financial hardship - the perhaps he was telling me it was a infested cesspool. Being London, milk left and dilute it with water recent announcement of the plan good idea to save money wherever this means you could have had a until you've got half a bottle full. for top-up fees shows Imperial is I can (and not, as I thought, to fifty-bedroom palace in Leeds for This way you don't end up wasting on a diet of Tesco Value Beans too. expose myself in the penguin the same amount, but try not to much real milk, and it looks pretty The rector thinks the answer is enclosure). worry. You can blow all that hard- much the same. Next, take your charging students more, but here's So, how to stem the flow of cash saved cash by drowning the sor- lkg tub of table salt and pour as a crazy idea - why doesn't College from your wallet into the outside rows of your miserable existence much in as you can be bothered spend less? If it means cutting out world? First, get your food expen- down the pub. Excellent. to. Shake it up, and voila. If you've a few lectures, so be it. It's a sac- diture down to a minimum. Of course, poverty breeds crime, put enough salt in, even a splash rifice I'm willing to make. Alex [email protected] Write to us to get your article published.. E^on Mobil MANUFACTURING FUELS & CHEMICALS SUPPLY INFORMATION GAS MARKETING PROCUREMENT & DISTRIBUTION SALES & MARKETING & TRADING TECHNOLOGY Employer Presentation THIS WAY UP DATE: 30 October TIME: 7.00pm start VENUE: Chemical Engineering Lecture Theatre 1, Imperial College If you want a career that starts off - and then carries on - in an upward direction, you need to meet up with us. ExxonMobil is the largest free-enterprise energy company in the world, with a diverse range of graduate opportunities and plenty of scope to develop your career. Because we are a global company, we want to speak to graduates from all disciplines. So let us know if you are planning to come by signing up at your careers service. follow newhorizyns Gourami... a holiday it's not! Gourami, a fictional island in the East Indian Ocean, is the setting for Shell's interactive business challenge. As part of an international project team you will be tasked with developing and present- ing a 5-year business strategy to senior Shell leaders. The issues are complex and the deadlines demanding. You'll learn a lot, and you'll learn fast. Welcome to Gourami. This is your chance to discover first hand what the energy business is all about and to see how you would cope at the sharp end of an international organisation. It's no holiday, but it could be the break of a lifetime. Course: 3-9 January 2003 Location: Marbella, Spain Closing date for applications: 8 November 2002 Applications are welcome from final year students of all disciplines. For more information please visit our website or contact [email protected] FELIX 09 Amnesty International In 1961, two Portuguese stu- in 72 countries. Today, Al has years, was released after would not have been possible." dents were sentenced to prison more than a million members President Fox ordered that his sen- We have an Amnesty for seven years. Not a month, not worldwide and students play a tence be reduced to time served. International group at Imperial a year but seven years. And the crucial role in its organisation. In He was detained in 1993 after where we meet up every reason? For raising their glasses fact it relies a lot on the commit- criticising human rights violations Thursday to write letters for par- in a toast to freedom. In 1961, a ment, motivation and energy of by the Mexican armed forces and ticular cases like General British lawyer, Peter Benenson, students to achieve success in the for proposing the creation of a mil- Gallardo. We have stands around read about these students and on coming years. itary human rights ombudsman to college, and arrange speakers to the 28th of May he wrote an arti- Often people take part by writ- investigate such abuses. visit. We also work with other cle for the Observer newspaper ing letters to governments in cases In 1994 Amnesty International London university groups as well entitled 'The Forgotten Prisoners' where people have been wrongful- adopted General Gallardo as a as more 'active' awareness raising which was an appeal for amnesty ly detained. Sometimes there is a prisoner of conscience. Amnesty such as demonstrations outside for men and women held in jail good end result and sometimes members have campaigned for parliament. This term Amnesty for their political or religious unfortunately it doesn't turn out his release over many years and it International are focusing on the views. The appeal was also print- the way we hope. But people is this on going pressure on the poor regulation of the arms trade, ed in other papers across the don't give up because for every authorities that has contributed to which is fuelling violent conflict world, and Amnesty International letter written, every bit of aware- secure his release. General and human rights abuses. was bom. ness raised, Al members provide Gallardo's family have expressed For more information email hope for victims of human rights their gratitude for all our help: [email protected] or What is Amnesty about? abuses around the world. One "We are all very happy that our see our website at Amnesty International has recent example was General father has been released and we www.su.ic.ac.uk/amnesty, or grown into the largest voluntary Gallardo. On 7 February 2002, are profoundly grateful to turn up to our meetings every human rights organisation in the General Gallardo, a prisoner of Amnesty International. Without Thursday lunchtime in South world with an organised presence conscience detained for over eight your support my father's release Kensington. ' imperial college union GET THE INTERVIEW...GET THE JOB...TIPS ON PREPARING 2002. Part-Time Staff Needed MCKINSEY & COMPANY PRESENTS... Union staff needed to work in the Shop, Bars, Marketing Office " APPLICATION and as Stewards. Many variable hours available FORMS" £4.20 per hour plus benefits DATE: WEDNESDAY 30'" OCTOBER Training provided. TIME: 3PM - 5PM Contact Michelle on 020 8594-8060 i x-48060 Email: [email protected]. VENUE: ROOM 6B. EAST WING BASEMENT BEIT QUAD imperial TO SECURE YOUR PLACE CONTACT NICK GORE TODAY college ON n.gore(a)ic.ac.uk OR CALL EXT 48097. union Work for yourself. Work at the Union... ^...and make a difference to your social life. ANOTHER SERVICE PROVIDED BY ICU [email protected] The student newspaper of Imperial College ' €>ji 10 LETTERS FELIX Your Letters Take One UCL Merger slowly earned canoe club guru sta- must apply to many other clubs be a full five to ten years before even tus. This IC club is a bit of an oddi- than our own, is that being in a the basic framework is sorted out, if Dear Felix, ty in the fact that if you're a student London university belonging to ULU you ask me, and by then I'll be long I have an indecent tendency to in that strange amalgamation that is does not necessarily allow you to gone. ramble so before the off, as it were, University of London, and fancy a join an IC club as an unsubsidised Cynically, I'd like to set a few things straight. spot of Whitewater canoeing, we're member. Imperial and the university Rob Tuley, 4th Year Mech Eng Firstly, I am definitely in favour of a pretty much the only place that you involved has also to sign a 'recipro- possible merger with UCL - I think can come (ULU run a canoe club cal agreement' first. Following the that beyond the immediate obvious but as far as I know they're yet to aforementioned UCL rugby top inci- It is clear from reading our new problems everyone has to admit that leave the swimming pool - no dent, an amiable chat and rather Rector's prose, that he intends to the subject range here at Imperial is offense intended). With this in mind, incriminating piece of A4 paper from manage it like a huge business cor- pretty narrow and in some senses at the start of the year we tend to the union ensued. Although Imperial poration ("need to change our crippling. Secondly, I have much recruit not only the usual crop of IC seems to have 'reciprocal agree- brand", "international market", respect for the union 'hacks' and freshers, but also a significant num- ments' with every London universi- "merger"...). While there's nothing sabbaticals that do a fantastic job ber of dedicated paddlers from UCL, ty/college under the sun (the list inherently wrong with this, and against multiple committee odds, LSE, etc. The beginning of this year filled a double columned A4 page), sometimes a little dynamism is and provide pretty good support to has proved slightly different howev- UCL is nowhere to be found. good, I hope we all recognise that IC our active (?) student population er, due in no small way to a union Apparently the two universities is very different from a car or (and I'm not just trying to score official watching someone in a UCL could not come to an agreement in (indeed) a pharmaceutical company. brownie points here). With that out rugby top filling out one of our mem- what is surely a fairly simple issue. In all this talk of "opening up" and the way, the point I would like to bership forms. I'm not an insurance policy leg- being "competitive" there is a big address is that, however desirable, In a very understandable way, IC end, and I certainly don't know all danger that research (like pure the actual likelihood of such a merg- Union want the money they put in to the ins and outs of this case (in fact, mathematics or physics etc.) that er with UCL seems to me pretty the IC club to benefit IC students. To I don't even know what the 'recipro- does not bring in immediate divi- damned slim. This view has been this end IC students receive sub- cal agreement' is), but this omission dends, or grants from the US prompted from recent events within, sidised travel, accommodation, and raises a few interesting questions. Defence department or GSK, will be of all places, the IC Canoe Club. so on while students from other Considering UCL members would axed. The independence of Science Bear with me on this one, and let London universities do not and have be unsubsidised (and thus 'steal' no from commercial interests is also a me explain: I have been a canoe to pay up the full whack. This is all IC money), what really is the prob- fundamental issue. obsessional for a far few years now, fairly standard, but a point that I lem with them joining our club? Our We should keep in mind the func- and over the past three years I've think is not yet widely realised, and members from UCL don't just see tions of a university, and keep our our stand at freshers fair and fancy a priorities well in check. crack, they have been Well, I could also rant on the dan- referred/searched us out and thus gers of the GATS agreement on lib- "On behalf of Imperial tend to be fairly experienced pad- eralisation of educational services dlers. In a sport with a by necessity but... high experienced to inexperienced M. Cand ratio needed, do the union really College Union, I would want us to expel our experienced UCL members and effectively be Add Some Top Up Fees like to thank all the stu- less safe on the river? Don't get me wrong - this club exists to introduce I am absolutely appaled by the and cultivate the skills of IC students events of the last few days and the dents who attended the in the back art that is travelling hastiness with which the rector of down vicious rivers in a small plas- my alma mater, Imperial College, is tic thing, but quality, safe paddlers trying to push through his own protest, and all those who come far and few between, and I agenda. I hope sincerely that the honestly think it is wrong to ignore entire college shows their disgust at what UCL students have to offer. the proposals and the way in which helped co-ordinate the But I'm already off on a tangent - both staff and students are being the main point is that although this totally walked-over. is obviously an Imperial and UCL Imperial College is an outstanding event" union related matter rather than an place to study but I fear that if we do academic institutional concern, I not speak out, it will soon turn into can't help feeling it has implications Sir Richard's dream - a mega- insti- Sen Ganesh, Union President for a possible merger. If IC and UCL tution for the elite, where money cannot agree to something as simple and not intelligence dictate who gets as a clubs and societies 'reciprocal in. Imperial is a top institution, agreement', surely this doesn't bode respected the world over, for its aca- too well for agreement on no doubt demic excellence. It is not a blue- For more information on student fees, please go to exceedingly complicated issues that chip company; it is an institution www.union.ic.ac.uk/protest would arise in relation to full UCL/IC which has built its reputation thanks integration. UCL and IC merger? It'll to the abilities of the people it [email protected] The student newspaper of Imperial College FELIX LETTERS 11 /SS ' t Your Letters attracts. Let us not lose sight of this Hello World. with the second phase of the cam- And Another Thing fact, otherwise I fear that Sir Did anyone else notice how paign against increased tuition fees, Richard's latest, corporate experi- Imperial politics become more and visit http://union.ic.ac.uk/no2fees/ ment, will be a disaster for the UK, more alike to real-world politics? for more information. Hi Guys, signalling the end of the right to a Take this current development for In summary, the protest made a As a break from all the talk of the top-class university education for all, example: IC plans to merge with positive difference to the outcome of merger, I'm wondering if anyone out and a slippery slope towards a two- UCL (something strongly against our the meeting, so well done and thank there has managed to claim their tiered, segregated society such as interest and therefore potentially you for coming along! 10% discount + student VAT the United States, where ethics are unpopular), and to divert our atten- Etienne, Katherine, Oliver, exemption (-17.5%) from food pur- second to the dollar. tion from this major issue, someone Mustafa, Jude and the rest of the chased from IC catering. For a man whose CV professes spreads rumours about top-up fees Protest Co-ordinators. I've had several furious rows with "humble beginnings", it appears that are consequently denied. till staff in the MDH and SCR but that Sir Richard suffers from severe It's like a president starting a war since the amazing 10% discount for amnesia. Someone as clearly talent- to hide that his economy is going ...Until Half Baked IC people was introduced I haven't ed as himself would probably never down the drain. been able to get the VAT taken off have had the chance to achieve his We should be protesting against Dear Will, my food. full potential if our education system the merger today, not against top-up I've worked it out, and you're in It all seems a bit naughty because was self-funding and socially exclu- fees that won't materialise. The real big trouble this time... did you really there is a notice beside all the tills sive, like it is in the USA. Hence it is threat has been successfully swiped think no-one would notice? This telling me that I can have a (10% + very worrying indeed that most peo- from our minds with this cunning whole UCL, top-up fees, blame the 17.5% =) 27.5% discount but they ple, except for Sir Richard himself, trickery. rector nonsense is all your doing won't give it to me. I'd also like to know that intelligence has no What kind of pompous ass is it isn't it! Just a big scam to kick the know what happens to the VAT I respect for money and social-class. that says "whoever wants to drag media group into gear! STOIC *and* have paid since my purchases have Yet it is what has made Imperial the university of london tag can go ICRadio live at the same time? been put through the till as VAT College great. So why may we ask to brunel"??? I very much hope that People actually *reading* Felix? exempt (they swipe my student card are we allowing such a man to con- this university is not going to fall into Obviously this is all just a big lie to after all)... duct his get-rich-quick experiment this kind of elitist "we don't give a get people to start paying attention Hmmm. Has anyone had more on Imperial, and be at the helm of fuck about anyone else cause to your newspaper and your little luck than me? this ill-planned voyage to certain dis- they're not a s good as us", which is friends in the Media Centre. Jenny Rickerby aster? why many people dislike Oxford and Yours aggravatingly, Jess Chemistry Cambridge.. I hope that was coming indeed And Stir- from the 70's , and that this idiot was an aberration even in his own Transport Manager Dear Felix, age. What is going on at Imperial? Yours, Physics Don't let them introduce top up fees of up to £10,500!!! I most certainly Imperial College Union has a vacancy for a part-time Transport would not have come to study at Dear Felix, Manager to provide support in the maintenance of the Union's Imperial if I had to pay that much. This is an open letter to say an minibus fleet. Most people would not be able to enormous thank you to all the stu- afford it! dents and staff who turned out for The successful applicant will be required to do maintenance checks What's this about a merger with the silent protest last friday morning. of the minibus fleet and general repairs as and when required. A UCL? In the news I read that the Despite the early hour, cold wind maximum of 18 hours a week with pay of £4.20 per hour is merger was for academic reasons and persistent rain there were at required for the job. and not economic. They also least 700 people lining the route all claimed that they not 'anticipate' the way from Sherfield to the For a job description, please phone 0207 594 8060 or Ext. 48060 any staff reductions. Do you believe Rector's residence at 170 Queen's or write to: them? Gate. When I was at Imperial, the Those present at the meeting of majority of students didn't care College Council say that the Nick Gore much about College politics and I Governors and academic staff were Student Activities Co-ordinator assume it's still pretty much the impressed by the large numbers Imperial College Union same. I am as guilty of this as most. present and the good behaviour Beit Quadrangle But I think that this is the time for IC throughout the protest. Prince Consort Road students (past and present) to come Although the decision on tuition London out of the woodwork (and the bar) fees still went through, it did so with SW7 2BB and really let their opinions be a significant amendment in our [email protected] known! Don't just let the senior favour and an acknowledgement management just walk all over you! from the Rector that the views of I say NO to top up fees and NO to students can't just be brushed aside. Interview Date to be confirmed the merger! We're not going to let this end Jason Wong. (Elec. Eng. 97-01) here - if you want to get involved [email protected] The student newspaper of Imperial College ARE YOU AGED 18-49? ARE YOU INTERESTED IN PARTICIPATING IN AN INFLUENZA STUDY? RETR(fc SCREEN #*< VIROLOGY If so, we are undertaking a research project at Barts and The London, Queen Mary's School of Medicine and Dentistry, in Mile End involving the Flu vaccine. We require: Participants aged 18-49 years of age who HAVE NOT received a Flu jab in the previous two winters and have not suffered influenza in the previous two winters. Interested in participating in a clinical trial and available for 9 clinic visits and a 9 night quarantined stay in a hotel, after we have administered the flu virus to you, to test the vaccine we give you. In return you will receive £1250.00 for your assistance. If you are interested please call Retroscreen Virology Limited at Barts and The London, in Mile End on 020 7882 7414 and ask to speak to: Pat Meeking (Clinical Trials Manager) Rita Smith (Research Co-ordinator) Dr. Anthony Gilbert (Study Doctor) Dr. Lauren Carp (Study Doctor) or visit our website: www.retroscreen.com/clinicaltrials All studies are approved by the NELHA Research Ethics Committee Retroscreen Ltd. Registered in England & Wales No:2326557 FELIX WEBSITE REVIEWS 13 cellspacing-G border-BHrHd alip-rigbl valign-toltoir-a hrel-http: bollom-a href'http://www.aaogle.coni"img src-/images/resl.gil tor der-0 idth-38 heigbt-58 i\F"~IH[A~\A valip-botlom«a hn align-right valip-top class-h>-b*Gnb$pWIHId"td ralip-top^a hrel-Mtp://»iw.oniiqlB.com-iBio src-/imag«s/res3.||i[ border nbspr/lonHtd-'/trHlableHldxId nowrap-lonl size- l»«a href-Zadvancen search?(j-wehsite*rRviewsSlil-enSlr-Bie-lITF 8»Advai !»s8bl-en8lr-8ie-BTF8'Prelerences"/a>8nbsp;8nbsp;8nbsp;8nbspra hrel-fapage. lnols?q-website*reviewsShl-en81r-8ie-IITP 8>Lanpage form name-p melhiid GET adion-tarch-inpnl Ipe bidden name-Id valir'eifHipt tupe-hidden name=lr value-""-inpnt type hidden name-ie value-"! value-"websile reviews">-[ont size- Is- «inpl Ipe-sobmil name-btnG valne-Hoogle Searcb'-span A really tasty Halloween snack, maybe "It can't be," I hear you think! Well, it is. A ing with the atmosphere. Or maybe just some- website dedicated to entomophagy, which is, I thing a little different to give to trick-or-treaters, am informed, the art of eating insects. The or maybe not - you could get sued. How about author of this lovely (pink) site is seventeen mealworm chocolate chip cookies - the meal- and suffers (I think that it's the right word) worm is used to make the flour. Apparently from a life long fascination with the subject. they "enrich the cookie with a somewhat nutty The information here will allow you to begin flavour and extra protein". Or maybe you feel a your entomophagical career describing how little more adventurous and fancy the chocolate one should raise them, kill them and prepare covered crickets? Wash the live crickets in a them before adding them to one of the lovely colander, put them in a plastic bag and then in recipes provided. The web site is simple and the freezer for fifteen minutes or so to kill them. easy to use, read and understand so you Then, once then heads and legs have been cut should have no trouble finding what you are off, you place them in an oven at 250° until looking for. Whatever that might be. they are nice and crunchy. Then dip them in I felt that since Halloween is on its way you melted chocolate, place in the fridge to cool snack. Have fun people and have a brilliantly could enjoy a little treat that is rather in keep- and then you have an apparently delicious drunk Halloween. www. eatbug .cam Term of the Week: Spot the deliberate mistake RAM (BaaaJ I know that quite a few of you will probably have heard of this page but for those of you RAM stands for Random Access Memory and who haven't and feel like destroying your faith is found in most computers as well as other in the film industry, take a visit here. It is what lovely little things like printers. Its name it sounds like - a list of the mistakes made in comes from the fact that it can be accessed films. In its own words, continuity shmontinu- randomly. RAM is commonly used to mean ity (took me a while to say that too). Whatever the main memory for the programs. Its con- you do, do not look at films that you have not tents are lost when the device is switched off, yet seen unless you are clinically stupid it is the ROM (Read Only Memory) that is because this site will ruin it. However, this site responsible for starting the contraption. is quite fun to look around and, if you hated a There are two types of RAM - SRAM (stat- film, it is very satisfying to see everything that ic) and DRAM (dynamic). DRAM must be was wrong with it. constantly refreshed or the contents are lost It is run using donations as well as pop-ups whereas SRAM is faster but this means it and adverts. At the moment the author is Don't ruin your dinner children. requires more power and it is more expensive. receiving enough donations to remove all pop- up ads and is hoping to eventually get rid of all adverts, but that depends on the donation sit- uation. However, this is an easy site to use and From the dotMeister there are hundreds of films listed here. They are listed alphabetically and each has the Good morning soldiers! Hope everyone has number of mistakes next to it so you can pick enjoyed a week of stamping on children - out the more interesting films to look without don't you just love half term? Hoards of chil- having to download every single page. dren descend upon South Kensington with the There is a 'Best' section which has a list of sole purpose of getting under my feet. the top twenty mistakes as voted by visitors to Anyway, Halloween is on the way and so I the site and the 'Top films' which are the most found a lovely little site with recipes that I'm mistake-filled movies. At the top is one of my sure you will love. So please try them and let favourite films - The Matrix, with 176 mis- me know your favourites. takes, ooops. Red Dragon, the new Hannibal Secondly, while I am certain that some of film, has over twenty mistakes spotted already. you will have already heard of this site, I felt it Enjoy the site but don't blame me if you hap- Emily wants to know if a merger with UCL was necessary that the word was spread fur- pen to ruin your favourite film. just means the end of Imperial? ther. Go forth to movie mistakes. Have a good week my little purple chickens, wvwirv.maviemistakes.cam and don't let the skeletons get you. Jenny [email protected] The student newspaper of Imperial College FILM FELIX Come one, come all to the second in the series For the time being though (i.e. this week) the I haven't been to the pictures in over a week of hastily thrown together Felix Film reviews! level of work put in by your hard working but so you're stuck with cop-out DVD and video Fingers crossed, by this time next week you shockingly green film editor has been limited reviews. Sorry to all of you without either - will be reading a well organised, informative by happenings in The Real World. Which is keep an eye out for the TV premieres or some- and easy to understand set of up-to-date movie bang out of order I know, but such is life. So thing ;) articles. There may even be one or two inter- what does all this gibberish mean? No xXx On the bright side, it's Halloween next esting articles. Perhaps the sheer volume of review I'm afraid. No K-19 review either. Nor is Thursday, so all the reviews are of appropriate- copy will shoulder its way onto a second page. there a review of Red Dragon or even ly gory and blood-chillingly scary horror Perhaps. Halloween Resurrection. movies. Enjoy!! 'OtrTOg Soon 28 MVS UTEB-. Alex Garland? Danny Boyle? An undead Leonardo DiCaprio? We can but hope! Seriously, this zombie-esque flick looks fan- tastic. Mostly an unknown cast but I for one am dying to see the striking scenes of a deserted London, as well as Garlands proper scriptwriting debut (The Beach doesn't RING BLADE II count). 28 Days Later... is released on 1st November 2002, Cert. 18. Ok, in what can only be described as a The Daywalker returns for the second vain attempt to push back the boundaries of movie in a series that is sure to be a fran- film reviewing, I will now proceed to watch chise before long. Not that I'm saying this is the "Scariest Movie Ever", as recommended a bad thing, mind. I love Snipes and reckon BOB SOLDIERS by my horror-movie loving friends - Hideo that Blade was the best thing he'd done - Nakata's "Ring" (cheap in Virgin, btw). I will aside from Demolition Man (yes, i really did then, in a thoroughly petrified state, try and like that movie) - until this. Werewolves vs. British Special Forces in a fill you in on the details. Its 3am, I'm alone Our Wes reprises his role of Blade - a half fight to the death in Scotland. This one was in the house, the lights are off... wish me human half-vampire cross breed - in this vio- released to an unsuspecting public earlier luck.... lent and fast paced fantasy horror. On the this year and became a huge cult hit. British Well, ninety minutes later I'm still here. face of it, this one hasn't got a great deal movie making at its best, ladies and gents, The television is still in the room, but I am going for it. Unknown director, obviously try- with buckets of gore just like any self- twitching a bit and I fear sleep may be a lit- ing to cash in on the success of the original, respecting 18 certificate should have. The tle hard to come by this morning. I've already samey plot, one third of Bros as the main best werewolf movie ever? decided I'll wait for the sun to come up bad guy and so on. But somehow all this before I go to the loo... adds up to an utterly fantastic ride, with Dog Soldiers is available to rent from 4th The movie centres around a Japanese some superbly choreographed fight November 2002, Cert. 18. (Note - this is an urban myth involving a videotape - anyone sequences (heavy on the Wire-Fu and SFX, unconfirmed date and since it's been put who watches the tape dies horribly. Ring so steer clear if you're not a fan) and a sur- back a couple of times already, don't hold me (also known as Ringu) is a fantastic sus- prisingly enticing story, which sees Blade to it. I do however have it on reasonably pense filled film that had me scared silly forced into a truce with the Vampire Nation good authority that it will have a US DVD throughout. There are a few slow patches, after a new mutual threat is discovered in the release on November 5th, so those of you but the sting in the tail will have you bur- shape of Luke Goss and his hybrid vamps. with multi-region players keep your paws rowing behind the sofa. And yes, Luke actually makes a convincing crossed.) The American remake (cleverly titled "The bad guy - its worth seeing just for that spec- Ring") was released in the U.S. earlier this tacle alone. year and is scheduled for a December release If you do get your hands on the DVD ver- Vv/Viat you slioultf ?>e watching over here. I'm not sure how well a remake sion, you will be treated to two superb com- will suit this movie, it's one where much of mentaries (one featuring a frank and honest ...at the Movies : Donnie Darko (Released the appeal derives from its very particular account from first-time director Del Toro, the 18th October, 15) style. For example, the Rollerball remake other featuring Snipes and the writer, David was entertaining but nowhere near as Goyer) as well as a treasure trove of deleted ...on TV: Interview With The Vampire intense and effective as the original. Ring scenes, storyboards, documentaries, inter- (Wednesday 30th October, 23:35, ITV1) has planted seeds of paranoia in my head - a views... all of which have commentary pro- terrifying piece of work. Subtitled Japanese vided by the director Guillermo Del Toro. A on Sky: Pitch Black (Monday 28th October, horror may not be your cup of tea, but I urge fun movie ideal for Halloween and a packed 22:00, MovieMax) you to try this one for size this Halloween - DVD. Heartily recommended! it's the perfect movie for a dark, lonely night. .on Video: Blade II (Released 14th October, Blade II is out now, Cert 18 on DVD and 112) Ring is out now, Cert 18 on DVD and video video [email protected] The student newspaper of Imperial College Did You Know That CERVICAL CANCER GENITAL WARTS are Caused By Similar Viruses? A vaccine to protect against these viruses is now being tested in london flr mm '^mmmmmmmmmmm, vrfHI ^^^B 100 young women hetween the ages of 18 & 23 wviil be invited to take part in this research If the vaccine is shown to he effective it is hoped that eventually all young women will routinely be vaccinated If you want to find out more about how you can become involved then please phone the study hotline number on 020 7886 6047 or email m.cowen(S)ic. ac.uk 16 MUSIC REVIEWS FELIX Albums & Singles Supergrass 5/5 Singles Life On Other Planets Moby - In This World If in ten years time Supergrass ture of John Craven. When I say are still making music, then this, I mean that like a lot of Another Moby single, another surely all of us will have a bright music of that era, Supergrass soulful blues sample, sung by future to look forward to. Their have no fear of putting tasty another unknown artist. distinctive blend of pop-lyrics electric riffs and catchy pop Anyone who's heard Natural and retro sounds have made lyrics together, resulting in Blues (and let's face it, who them last a lot longer than their something that is decidedly hasn't?) will know what to contemporaries of the Brit-band bouncy and optimistic yet with a expect. It seems the skin-head- explosion of the mid-nineties. suggestion of maturity. ed songster has discovered a And if this album is any indica- Life On Other Planets is an simple formula for chillout tune tion of things to come, we can album that flows like lemonade success - gospel tinged vocals, expect to see them around for from a glass bottle: cleanly, simple piano refrain, dreamy some time. quickly and with a lot of effer- backing strings and relaxed As with a lot of their music, vescence. Grace, the first single house beat - and is churning Life On Other Planets seems to taken from the album, sets the out single after single of the be music from a different era. It tone for the album with the line stuff. Now, don't get me wrong; is as if it was originally recorded 'we jumped all night on your I liked Play as much as the in the mid-seventies and then trampoline'. next man, but I just hope he sealed in the Blue Peter time Supergrass: keeping the runs out of old bluegrass capsule along with a copy of The nation pogoing. recordings soon, so he can Daily Mirror and a signed pic- Patrick start making something a little different. Grooverider 4/5 3/5 Tom Bell Fabric Live 06 Parva - Hessels This is the sixth release from the towards the last third of the set This was good, but not dirty FABRICLIVE. 06 FABRICLIVE series. The idea is that you get a sense of and innovative enough for me - Grooverider that Fabric releases mixes from Grooverider's range as a DJ, like a good power-rock song their resident DJs and punters when the tracks seem to take on should. The bass is particularly can subscribe online to receive an almost schizophrenic quality, attractively tight, the guitars (at a discount from the real dodging from laid back, almost are sharp, totally high-fidelity. retail price) their latest dose of chilled drum and bass, to men- The whole song sounds nice breakbeat through the post. talism on a grand scale! and nostalgically, like one of Grooverider is the latest to Stand-out tracks on this CD those on the debut album of receive the FABRICLIVE treat- would have to include Optimus Snuff. It seems as though the ment, and this CD does make Prime's Amen Slag and lead singer of Parva wanted to for interesting listening. Grooverider's VIP mixes of make his song edgier like those Compared to some of the drum Deadline by Digital and Back of Snuff, and in trying to and bass dross that is churned for More by Influx Datum - achieve that aim, he decided, out on a regular basis, tracks that offer both a chill out at regular points, to shout gen- Grooverider's choice of tracks and a party at the same time. tly. And that's the problem and mixing style (jigsaw mixes, Perhaps it is the fact that because his gentle shouts are VIP dubbing and quick cuts) Grooverider has been around like flat tyres; the song is work- harks back to his early days as since the early days - when ing but there is also something an acid house impresario. house turned into jungle, which bothersome. The band act with kitsch effect because the anger This set starts with some then turned into drum and bass. that the singer tries to express blinding tracks {Got Me Burning Perhaps it's because he's not is the kind of anger that hits by Peshay and Alien Girl, by Ed afraid to throw all these styles you when you realize that there Rush, Optical and Fierce), but together, mix them up and see aren't any cereals left for your the tempo worked up at the start what happens. Whatever it is, if breakfast. seems to almost lose control you love drum and bass you will mid-way through, and seriously not be disappointed. If you can heavy bass beat takes over. The only afford one CD in the FAB- 3/5 tracks get dark and dirty, the RICLIVE series, this is the one to Nic crowd - you would imagine - are get! going wild, and it is only Katherine [email protected] There is more to life than being ridiculously good looking! FELIX MUSIC REVIEWS Albums & Singles Various 3/5 Singles Big Beach Boutique The Vines - Outtatheway This compilation has music from which aren't up to the same the massive free gig on Brighton quality as the beginning. The Vines are still riding high beach during the summer by However, it does pick up, with with this, their third single Norman Cook. It's not the com- the surprise inclusion of the All from the highly acclaimed plete set, and he used Midfield Saints' Pure Shores, which is an album Highly Evolved. There is General to mix this album as excellent song to finish a set a lot of hype behind this band well. The album contains songs right next to the beach.. with many critics drawing par- which are eclectic but still have If you went to this gig, you allels between them and some of his house roots. might want to buy this album for Nirvana, but not to worry too The album kicks off with nostalgic reasons. Otherwise it's much, a lot of the praise they Midfield General's Reach Out, a a tidy compilation which really have received is justified. This nice chilling song which has a depends if you're a fan of single isn't as catchy as Get rasping chorus with Linda Lewis Norman Cook's taste in music. Free but it is not a problem. It's who sounds similar to Macy Oscar still something good to shout Gray. It mixes to the only Fatboy along to. These guys will be Slim track Talkin 'bout my Baby COMPETITION TIME playing in London at the begin- (not including his involvement ing of next month, so go get with the Might Dub Katz). It's If you fancy getting your hands on a yourself a ticket and see what not his strongest track but it copy of the Sugababes brand new ail the hype is about. does mix well. single, then here's your chance. The track selection is filled 4/5 with songs which I've heard but The Sugababes first album was:- Sean the dude didn't know the name of, for a) One Touch example Tim Deluxe's It Just b) Sugababes British Sea Power - Childhood Won't Do. Other notable tracks Memories are the classic Groove Armada's Please email your answer, with Superstylin' and the mind your name, year and department This is a very pretty song, and numbingly overplayed X Press to [email protected] somewhat reminiscent of 2's Lazy. The compilation seems by Thursday 31st of October. Fleetwood Mac. They keep it to dip at the end with songs quite chilled and pull it off nicely, even saving some mad noises for the end of the song. Cabaret Voltaire 4/5 Simple lyrics and pleasant sounds await you. An original Nag Nag Nag - Mixes Nova mute and unique band. Check them out. At first I used to hate that kind of band, I suppose) so fascinating is recycled albums; using old stuff, that it is located at a limit, a bor- 4/5 asking several DJs to collaborate der. In the course of the album, in order to make them squelch the DJs try to recreate that enjoy- Little Hell - Everybody's Cursed that little bit out of the anonymity, able feeling of transition (the first making shiny new money. With two versions are remixes by Tiga There doesn't really seem to be this album, I can drop a very little & Zyntherius) or use elements set anything new here - it's a bit piece of my prejudice. For those down by Cabaret Voltaire to cre- glam, with a nice clangy who don't know, Cabaret ate a new current electronic piece bassline and cutting guitars Voltaire's NagNagNag, released in and finally go across the border but that is where it ends. I 79, is a real punk song with (like the last version). wish it was toned down a bit. Bontempi beats instead of drums, The third (remix by Akufen) is It's very hard to take seriously. additive voice samples and elec- really pleasant. They use the gui- I'm sure this must be a spoof tronic guitar-like layer. The vocals tar-like part as a noisy, dull under band because the lyrics are so are also industrially modified; we layer for sketches of the original ridiculous: "I've been saving to can say that it's a Kraut-rock voice. The beat is a kind of bossa fill your grave in, so here's a song. As the term 'innovators' has rhythm, very sweet and she (or bag of dirt". recently been applied to Cabaret he) inserts fly's farts and other About 20 years too late... Voltaire, it would have been very appreciable crummy sounds. Sorry guys. regressive to ask some existing so- The piece is pretty cool and called punk bands to cover makes this album rather not bad, 2/5 NagNagNag. above all for the C.V. fiends. Robin What makes that song (and the NIC [email protected] You Know You're Right [ill 18 MUSIC REVIEWS FELIX Live Review The Coral Albums Shepherd's Bush Empire - Thursday 10th October All Systems Go - Mon Chi Chi effect live? That was the big low the new fashion of short question before the gig. gigs; only 50 minutes from All Systems Go sound exactly Opening with Spanish Man, a beginning to end. A little too like an American high school very short but intense song, they short, perhaps? TV show. Normally, this is no invited the London audience into I don't judge an album or a reason for complaint, but their imagination-filled world. performance instantly, but I they're Swedish and while And it worked! The six members believe that a band has to give you can hear (if you listen gave an excellent live perform- more on stage than in the stu- really carefully) bits of The ance. They displayed no fear on dio. The Coral did their show Soundtrack of Our Lives and stage and showed a maturity and you had to "take it or leave maybe even The Hives, they seldom seen in such young peo- it". Why no encore? I'm sure still sound like they belong in ple (the members are aged that they had other songs to California. Sounding like you between 18 and 21). I don't say play; there were two new tracks belong in California typically mmm & it was the most entertaining on their last single! Perhaps means you are a big, dumb, concert I've been to but they because it was 50 intense min- vacuous, pop-punk for school Thursday evening, and the played their album and that was utes full of happiness without girls, which coincidentally is Shepherd's Bush Empire is sold enough. The strength and diver- intermission, I was begging for pretty much how ASG sound. out for a band which was totally sity of their songs made it work. more. It's too late to see them in unknown a few months ago. They take the tried and From the beginning of the London now. So get the album tested route of picking three Following the release of their immediately! Or you will miss debut album, this band from year, England has been intro- chords, playing them in duced to new bands such as The out on one of the best albums of slightly differing orders Liverpool is doing its first UK the year 2002! tour. Their music is "psychedelic Electric Soft Parade and The around catchy three minute rock", a genre ideal for radio Music; new guys who give a Mike pop songs without taking play but can songs like breath of fresh air to the Brit themselves seriously at all, Dreaming of You, their most pop-rock scene after the The Coral's self-titled debut and it pays off. Instead of the recent single, have the same Oasis/Blur era. But our boys fol- album is out in the shops now. usual dirge about girls, school and how things are so like, totally unfair man, they sing about big dumb things Richard Ashcroft 3/5 like motorbikes, robots, girls, revenge and the temporary loss of sanity. All of which Human Conditions makes it far less tiresome and a great deal more enjoyable releases, it does offer exactly taining - as it does here - a than the rest of the punk-boy- what any die-hard fan of north- noticeable polish compared to bands around at the moment. ern soul will want - songs with some of his previous releases, It may not be clever, but it strong melodies and strong sen- which had more 'rough and certainly is big. timents. readiness' about them. At times Ashcroft is in danger The combination of guitar 3/5 of sounding a bit like a new-age band music with orchestral Dom hippie, singing 'Nature is the accompaniment still works well law, baby' to a chilled-out, hazy and one of the tracks, Bright chorus line. Lights, offers a hint of some- I REVIEWERS The bright summery feeling of However, the range exhibited thing different - experimentation with new percussion styles the first single, Check The in this album, from love-ballads REQUIRED Meaning, from his latest album to songs describing the harsh resulting in an altogether more is guaranteed to make you realities of life, is impressive. It interesting, complex brand of No experience necessary, smile. The perfect autumn song, acts as an indication of him music. and you get to keep reminiscent of summer and yet achieving a new level of accom- In this latest album, there is whatever you review. cozy enough to make you want plishment in his craft as a song- an overriding feeling of darkness to dive back under the duvet and writer. which is, unexpectedly, almost just listen Richard Ashcroft sings to you comforting. Listening to this is I Come to Felix in Beit And that is exactly what this in this album from the enviable like the return of an old I Quad on Thursdays at album is, 'cozy'. While it doesn't vantage point of knowing that friend....and as the man himself I 1.30pm or email represent a massive departure what he has crafted will not only says 'It sure feels like I've been J [email protected] and from the style Richard Ashcroft be popular with his loyal fans, here before'. I we'll see if you can do had cultivated whilst in The but also accessible to the rest of better than us! Verve and in his previous solo the record-buying public, con- Katherine [email protected] Come again next week for more news, reviews and interviews! SKOOL PAZE FRIDAY, OCTOBER 25 S-ZAM (BAR 'TIL IAM) SUCK 2 SKOOL mm r**a.-ilrt^ FREE LOLLIPOPS W FOR THOSE IN W UNIFORM! Mf DISCOUNTED JU65 OF COCKTAILS ALL NtTB IN UDH |^ TZTLBY AND CARLBER6 I POUND/PINT SMIRNOFF R&D AND BLACK 2 POUND/BOTTLE (IN DBS WHILE STOCKS LAST) FRtt M 9, 150 UHIOH, 2.00 GUESTS, WO P2P IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION, BEIT QUAD, PRM6iE±C0NS0RT ROAD, 5U/7A NIGHTLIFE FELIX NightLife Stanton Warriors MA wik lM* fln Fabriclive Fabric Welcome Friday @ Fabric Saturday @ Fabric Everyone loves EC1. The debate over the existence of a God should Fabric's Saturday night birthday celebrations Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Fabric is now three be left for another time and place - but the fact took place in fine fashion by doing what they years old. As you can probably tell, we here at that my 21st birthday fell on a Friday, and do every Saturday; putting on a night of deep Nightlife thought it was significant enough to coincided with Fabric's 3rd anniversary - cer- techy house. demand a whole page to cover. tainly nudged me a little further away from It all really started when Philadelphia's For three years, Fabric has been the night- complete scepticism. finest, Josh Wink, came on at 2:30am and club of choice for many a clubber. It is the I have often said that Fabric is the best hammered the crowd with a brilliant set of club's attention to detail with its design and Friday night out in London, not only for the pounding mechanical, iron hard beats, with its state-of-the-art sound system which guar- music and the understated style of the place screeching acid overtones. His prowess was antee its popularity as a venue. However, it is but also because of the likeminded, friendly evident: he would cut out the bass for a few Fabric's atmosphere, its music and its com- and invariably fucked crowd. They were out in seconds so the crowd could take a breather, mitment to giving its clientele an exciting full force tonight, all ready to take the beats by before letting it kick in again to an eruption of night out which have made it the success it is. the horns and dance until the grins dropped off crowd appreciation. If you have never been before and you can their faces. If that wasn't your thing, DJ Cosmo in Room bear queuing (or arriving before the queues Arriving at 11pm, with the venue already 3 was playing a great but slightly weird set of start to stretch all the way back to the tube packed, I made my way directly to Room 2 to 80's electro, jacking', techy bodypopping station), then you should definitely give it a try watch the likes of Grooverider, Adam F and hiphop sounds (you had to be there) which (as our reviews will testify). Andy C make it impossible not to be moved by had everyone doing "the robot". the atmosphere. A good hard dance, a few ran- The climax came at 4am when we headed Clubbers' Diaries: dom conversations with random conversation- over to Room 2 to catch Slam, who were play- alists, a nice chillout on the stairs, a thorough ing an inspired mix of funky/party/Detroit If any of you want Nightlife to print an account appreciation of the water fountains; all in all, a sounding techno. By 5:30am we had danced of a great night out that you've had, then send textbook Fabriclive experience which, even if too hard, had no energy left and had to leave it to Nightlife at: you are not a fan of the music, should not be to the sound of Dirty by Dirty: "obscene, dirty, missed. Dan B. filthy, immoral, ah yeah!" Alexander H. [email protected] It should be no less than 150 words. So, if Saturday 2nd November Saturday 2nd November there is some gem of a club that you've dis- covered, or there is some night out that has Rahzel (Live) Terry Francis been cruelly ignored by us - or even if you Stanton Warriors Jon Marsh want to tell everyone about some reckless, Scratch Perverts DJ Buck lairy bender (within reason, guys - I'll have no pathetic tales of dodgy kebabs and the subse- 9.30pm-5am 10pm - 7am quent vomitus, thanks). £12 (£10 NUS) £15 (£12 NUS) Have a good weekend and take it easy. Fabric, 77A Charterhouse Street, EC1 Fabric, 77A Charterhouse Street, EC1 www.fabriclondon.com www.fabriclondon.com Patrick [email protected] "My nose feels like it's been taken for a 24hr test-drive by Daniella Westbrook..." A BALANCED EQUATION OUR CLIENTS BUY THE PERFORMANCE OF OUR PEOPLE. WE INVEST IN WHAT THEY BUY AND MAKE THIS A CAREER-LONG INVESTMENT. It's all about presenting you with a fulfilling Our approach fosters professional progress, Our approach unites people from a wide future - and building a competitive advantage provides the freedom to innovate and range of nationalities and academic for our firm. challenges convention. We invest in graduates backgrounds. The diverse skills of our with intellectual capacity to become the next people add to the Watson Wyatt career That's why at Watson Wyatt we are committed generation of thought leaders. And we experience. It's a question of balance. to developing our people, developing help each person to put their expanding new skills, staying ahead of the challenges knowledge to work - for us, for our clients If you'd welcome our investment in your businesses face today and responding to a future, visit our graduate careers information rapidly changing world. It's no wonder that we and for themselves. point at www.watsonwyatt.com/graduate are the only specialised actuarial firm to appear We provide the resources for graduates to build in the Times 100 best companies to work for. their expertise to the highest levels, to work We are advisers to 73% of the Fortune alongside recognised leaders in their field, Global 500 companies headquartered in and to respond innovatively to the needs of Come to our graduate presentation Britain and consulting actuaries to 52 of the high-performance organisations the world over, starting at 6.30pm on 30th October at UK's top 100 corporate pension schemes. through a network of 87 offices in 29 countries. the Pippard Lecture Theatre. Watson Wyatt Worldwide www.watsonwyatt.com/graduate Single Buoy Moorings presents The Story of Floating Production 6:30 pm, 4 November 2002 - Imperial College Civil Engineering Lecture Theatre 208 What's it all about? A presentation to tell you the story of how Floating Production began and what career opportunities it presents for you. Who are we? SBM is one of the major players in the Floating Production field operating 13 FPSO (Floating, Production, Storage and Offloading) and FSO (Floating, Storage and Offloading) vessels around the world. Who are we looking for? We are interested in talking to Chemical, Structural, Mechanical, Electrical, Hydrodynamic, Civil and Naval Architecture students wanting to start a career or making a graduate internship with us. Ever tried to re-connect a chain two kilometers below the sea level? You could be a part of providing solutions to problems like this. Where are we? www.singlebuoy.com We are based in MONACO, South of France where our multinational workforce numbers 600. Looking forward to meeting you on 4 November 2002 ! FELIX Felix Crossword 1245 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. By Boris the Inquisitive Goat 9. 10. Across 25 Mother holding tea is silent I God-like editor returns if (6) College calls (6) 5 Implant celebrity on crazy Down 11. 12. isle (8) 2 Bizarre rice toes can only 9 Coerce Fred to join the be understood by a few (8) University of London ener- 3 This fact has sorted out life getically (8) and makes you prettier! 13. 14. 10 Big Ben sounds with no (8) 15. 16. 17. 18. Latin drums (6) 4 Circle Of Friends bill vessel II Good catch! Joining uses - not my cup of tea (9) 19. Helium with two fifties (4, 5 Steve met Elrond's kind 4) after questionable cider 12 Sit back, dear girl and take sun tot and killed himself a Kleenex (6) (4, 11) 20. 21. 13 Croon after initial fear of 6 One man saw Ingrid Copper, moving a lens (8) remove her skirt - what a 15 Space Cowboy takes tea in chore! (7) 22. 23. over-the-top land (4) 7 Not quite organic, Naomi's 17 Ian wears Calvin Klein, but into S&M - it's so good! why? It's a childish mess! (8) (4) 8 Direction, not to put to fine 24. 25. 19 London club takes in a a point on it (8) loan - how unneccessary! 14 New stick is Mauritian (8) coinage (9) 20 Known as Mother, she's a 15 Graft around rising profe- hurrier we hear (6) sional with a sting in its 21 Going off, idiot loses race tail (8) in Tring (8) 16 Tax haven is bad, but 22 Is the Order of Merit given sounds certain (8) by the Queen for atomic 17 Wondering if the opening similarity? (6) is available, simple Si sits 23 Race across the water, part above a shed (2, 2, 4) of eye with Hydrogen, guys 18 Bloke on E sees the mon- (8) ster loch with enthusiasm 24 New England editor's at (8) start of winter - requires 19 Sir Shev shakes (7) victory (5, 3) Greetings one and all from me, Boris the Inquisitive Goat. I'll be your crossword compiler for the forseeable future and here is the first attempt - be gentle with me. Last week's winner was Neil Yorke-Smith, IC-PARC, so congratulations - another entry for the extravagant extravaganza commonly known as the crossword tombola, the winner of which wil receive an unspecified prize of immense proportions. Keep your answers coming in to the Felix office or send them to [email protected] - you know the drill. What with my new-found fame expanding faster than a hamster in a microwave, I've decided to launch a campaign to have the new college formed by merging IC and UCL named after me! Boris the Inquisitive Goat College, London (which helpfully abbreviates to BIG) will be a name that strikes fear into the hearts of other aca- demics across the world! I'm off to e-mail the Rector about it... ^OH/V/VX kO by Bobby Cyclops & Dr Hot Fudge THE GREAT FELIX QUOTES QUIZ THK QUOTES RAMI* LINGS 1. "Adrianos was not perfect. It was perfectly planned, but executed We apologise for our absence last week readers, but some janner delet- with neolithic incompetence." ed our GFQQ & LQ pages from Felix's custom built high voltage laser containment system. Luckily, we had the pleasure of the return of Turnip 2. "Man, you really are prehistoric!" Henry from Felix's vault, as prophesised by Fudge in his novel - A Knuckle Too Far (not available from Waterstones, Imperial College 3. "I like you Clarence, always have always will." Branch). Mr Henry, it was an honour. Welcome back to all those entrants from last year - unfortunately 4. "Not just screwing Mitch. But the kind of intimate acts like oral and GFQQ mk I's winner is not competing this year, but the rest of you old- what-not, that a trusting young wife might find hard to forgive." school can fight it out yourselves. Bobby Cyclops 5. "To make honey, young bee need young flower, not old prune." Well it's still going strong, desptie an almighty fuck-up of stream-cross- ing proportions. As last week's quotes and lyrics weren't officially vetted 6. "This little scrotum - sucker deceived us!" (and have caused some confusion), we have decided not to include them in the official points for the various leagues. A few of you have also been 7. "The moral of the story is, 'don't be a dick', Dick." a little upset thinking that we have cheated you out of points. However, this is not the case, it's just that B.C. and I have suddenly become tighter than a mermaid's crack when it comes to point allocation. This ANSWERS TO GFQQ 1244 means that to gain the highest stature in the lyrics quiz you have to state the exact artist. For instance, Coolio & L.V. recorded Gangsta's Paradise, 1. Westley/Cary Elwes - The Princess Bride not just the braided one himself. So don't cry my little pretties, just make sure you do your research. Toodle-oo. Dr. Hot Fudge 2. Dr Frank-N-Furter/Tim Curry - Rocky Horror Picture Show 3. Fred/Lance Percival - Yellow Submarine 4. Blade/Wesley Snipes - Blade 2 (II Hi BLOW DRV 5. Roy Batty/Rutger Hauer - Blade Runner BY OUR TOP STYLISTS 6. HAL 9000/Douglas Rain - 2001: A Space Odyssey £20 LADIES 7. Withnail/Richard E. Grant £17 MEN ~I/Paul McGann - Withnail and I Normal Price £35 ACCESS VISA MASTERCARD CASH CHEQUES WE E OF THE WEEK www.hatsofmeat.com Synopsis: Intriguing insight into the world of meat hats - "Remembering the past, cherishing the present, and celebrating the future of meat hats." Rating: Never have we been more confused by a website. Plenty of info, FAQs and so on, but we like pictures, and there needs to be more on this site. Nevertheless, it is fascinating - find out where the phrase "I'll eat my hat" came from, and how to discourage dogs from eating your meat-hat with a water-pistol filled with lemon juice. Enjoy. South Kfnsinpn Tube) Coffeebreak score: 6/10 p Telephone 020 7823 8968 ^ MMMMiiiiiaiiiiiftiiftiiiiiiiif [email protected] The Great Felix Film Quiz FELIX COFFEE BREAK CfFIife (THE FIRST ONE) THE GREAT FELIX LYRICS QUIZ LEADER BOARDS THE LYRICS GFQQ GFLQ 1. "Welcome to the physics disco, where all the boys are dancin' on Name Score Name Score their own." JMC4 Coalition 16 50D 22 2. "This city desert makes me feel so cold: It's got so many people but Chris Ince 16 Ongar Rd Massif 20.5 it's got no soul." Dave Roberts 16 Chris Ince 20.5 Jennifer Williams 16 Christopher Dent 20.5 3. "Keep your foot hard on the pedal, Son never mind them brakes. Let 50D 16 Jennifer Williams 20.5 it all hang out cause we got a run to make." Samuel Jackson 16 Samuel Jackson 20.5 Geoff Lay 16 Geoff Lay 20.5 4. "This indecision's bugging me. Esta undecision me molesta." John Anderson 16 JMC4 Coalition 20 Richard Hutchinson 16 David Mercer 20 5. "A hundred stairs to her new room, over glass and blackened Fred Marquis 16 Rosemary Chandler 19.5 spoons. Children grow old so soon." 6. "He can't satisfy you with his little worm, but I can bust you up with IJLTRALEAGIJE my super sperm!!" Name Score Name Score 7. "Like a gay tarantella... lucky fella." 50D 38 Rosemary Chandler 33.5 8. "John's got brewers droop, he gets intimidated by the dirty pigeons Chris ince 36.5 Richard Moore 31 - they love a bit of it." Jennifer Williams 36.5 Luke McManus 30.5 Samuel Jackson 36.5 Anthony Jude Rodrigues 19 9. "Once there was this girl who wouldn't go and change with the girls Geoff Lay 36.5 Chris Tickner 17.5 in the change room. But when they finally made her, they saw birth- JMC4 Coalition 36 Ruth Loeffler 15.5 marks all over her body" John Anderson 35.5 Christopher Pollock 15 Ongar Rd Massif 35 Rebecca Newman 13 10. "Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way. The time is Christopher Dent 35 Leo Harrison 12.5 gone, the song is over, thought I'd something more to say." Richard Hutchinson 35 Ben Dudson 10 David Mercer 34.5 Kev Fox 6.5 ANSWERS TO KILO 1244 I SEE GRAFFITI 1. Vanilla Ice - Ice Ice Baby Being a home of the scientist and engineer, Imperial provides some 2. The Irresistable Force - Nepalese Bliss 'side-splitting' toilet and lecturey relief with graffiti which arises from the combined wit of 10,000 bright young minds. Or so you would think.... 3. The Aloof - One Night Stand From physics: 4. Led Zeppelin - The Lemon Song [Written in the grouting in a toilet cubical] 5. Andreas Johnson - Glorious More graffitti should be confined to grouting... More physics should be confined to grouting. 6. The Kinks - Come Dancing From chemical engineering: 7. Dire Straits - Romeo and Juliet [On the toilet roll dipenser] 8. Fleetwood Mac - Songbird Mech. Eng. degrees: help yourself. 9. Eagle-Eye Cherry - Indecision If you spot any worthy graffiti around, be sure to let us know, and gain yourself an Ultraleague point or two! 10. All Saints - Never Ever [email protected] The Great Felix Lyric Quiz SPORT FELIX Football, Football Goldsmiths 0 - 6 IC I up to finish it with a power head- Reading I 1 - 2 IC I and managed to pull one back. A er. 2-0! We kept our foot down, well deserved goal, quick pass This was our first official game of scoring again within a couple of BUSA has always proved to be a from Tim to Left Back Ant, the season. A bit of trip to get to minutes. Some great movement in tough competition, and our first Straight to Joss, switching play to their grounds, but we were there the middle and down the right, a game in it this year proved to be the right to Mark, who combined nice and early and got ready for good ball in from Mark, a set up no exception. with Anis beautifully, to score. the game. We started off a bit by Oli and 3-0 it was by Joss. We We had to make our way to That was how the first half ended. rusty, but after the first 5 minutes, were all over them and knew we Reading. Got there a bit a late, as In the second half we came on we came back to take complete could score more. Jeff, who'd they gave us no instructions to get really determined to fight harder, control of the game.Everyone was come on for Anis, got the ball to their pitch, which we thought as winning the game was what we working hard and putting in the inside their box, smashing past was very nice of them! Got out were there for. We were now look- effort, and we started looking real- the keeper...4-0. There was still really fired up for the game but ing a lot better than them and ly dangerous going forward and some time left in the game, and didn't start as well as we might much more likely to score. And so created a pile of chances, but just we had to make something of it. have done. They started better it was! A sweet chip ball by Oli couldn't finish them. Finally, Mark, going past everyone down than us and took control of the behind the defence to Nathan, about 35 minutes into the game, the right, put a great ball in the game for the first 15 minutes. It who took it on and finished easily Alan cleverly took a free kick while box for Mathan to put the 5th one was about then we decided to and confidently past the keeper. they were sorting out their wall, away, bottom right corner. A cou- start playing a bit of football. We After this we didn't let our per- curling the ball over it, making it ple of minutes before the end we evened up the game and looked formance drop although they did 1-0. got another one, Mark's brilliant dangerous when going forward. It put pressure on us. They had one We didn't manage to score through ball to Jeff, who brought it was clear this was going to be a or two chances, but so did we. again that half, but knew we could down nicely and finished it easily, tough one and we had to fight to Neither of us managed to score, do better than that, so we came to end it 6-0. win it. We threatened them a cou- so 2-1 it was! out having decided to win this Good performance all round, ple of times, but they managed to First BUSA game, a convincing one. Our second goal didn't take but they weren't the best side score first, a good move and finish win against a very good side. long, with Mark delivering a free we've played against, so no need to be fair. But we weren't gonna Keep this up boys and lots more kick to the far post, Alan linking to get carried away... give up just like that. We fought, will come! Kent II 0 - 1 IC III defence held strong and for all their possession Kent made very The team had to leave an hour few chances and were unable to early to travel to Canterbury via score. This took us into half time tube, train and bus, and at the at nil nil. We were tired and knew end we were still left with a long that we had to get more of the ball walk to find the club house and in the second half and keep pos- pitch. session, however we still felt con- The team were immediately put fident that we could go out there into a state of shock by Gary and win the match. We started deciding to prance around the the second half brightly and we Rob Deeri ng changing rooms wearing only his scored early on with Henry toe newly bought black man thong - poking the ball through the keep- appearing in the not a pretty sight I assure you. On ers legs. This lead to another spell the pitch IC started slowly, unable of very little possession, however to keep possession and for long our fitness didn't seem too bad Comedy Club periods of time and we spent most and we were able to chase back of the first half chasing the ball. and defend well. Towards the end Thursday, October 31 Chris Jermyn strained his thigh at we had another decent chance, Doors 7:30, Show 8:30 the beginning of the first half and this time Henry was unfortunate with Henry being our only substi- and the keeper made a good save. Union £3/Guests £3.50/P2P £2.50 tute, a straight swap was made Towards the end the match was and we had our midfield captain tense and we just managed to imperial playing up front, or at least hold on for a well deserved away Tickets available win, which was a good reward for in advance from the college attempting to as I often found Union Reception myself further up the field. Our all our efforts. union [email protected] Please send us your match reports! FELIX SPORT G rass! Plastic! GKT I 5 - 29 IC I Casual" Darg to put the score at Some of us are too impatient to No matter, IC1 v IC2 was up 12-0 to IC. wait for snow to start racing, and next, and more importantly Ned Having trekked across London to IC began dominating the second so the first race of the year took against Hideaki - last years race play the mighty GKT, only to find half with monstrous tackles going place last Saturday at Wycombe captain against the all conquering they had made the slight oversight in from Mike "the Animal" Hicks Summit. Japanese newcomer. Hideaki of forgetting a referee, we had and Alex James to put GKT on the The first two races for both matched Ned all of the way, and doubts we would ever actually play back foot. Further outstanding play teams proved that racing with no it would have been a photo finish a rugby match this season. from Chris "Are you clean or do I practice for 5 months is not a but Hideaki fell at the last and However, with the calm interven- need to go to the clinic" good idea, with both teams com- crossed the line on his arse. The tion of Brimah, our backs coach, Protherough again gave the backs ing away empty handed. rest of the race was a formality, the game went ahead. the space and opportunity they An intermission in the racing the lsts recording a victory that The game got to a "cracking" needed to break through the gave both teams a chance to was so easy that the last racer start with an immense scrum being defence and set up Will "the regroup. Ben and Ned headed crossed the line backwards. led by Chris "You're not so lippy Raging Bull" Nicklin with a try in straight for the bar at this point - IC clearly won the final race, with your legs in the air" the corner. To state that Will enjoys something about dutch courage but it was given the other way. Protherough, and soon enough, picking on little wingers is as big an and fear of pain - whilst the rest Time for Ned to have a tantrum - after some slick forwards moves, understatement as saying our sup- of us hit the slopes to try and pre- a pre-requisite of any race meet- the backs were released by an out- porter's hair was a little queer. vent more embarrassment. ing - but throwing the toys out of standing kick by scrum half Rob to Basically, Imperial rose to a Both methods seemed to work, the pram had no effect and the score their first try. huge challenge despite the obvious however, and IC1 and IC2 both teams finished 12th and 15th. Then GKT came back, worrying- cheating on the scoreboard by the racked up 2 deserved wins. Special mentions must go to ly led by the ginger army to push IC furry ginger. Special mentions to Confidence was high and IC2 Katie, who flew the flag for the back to their own try line. The Dave Evans, whom scored a fresh- stepped up to take a tough chal- imperial ladies in the absence of Imperial Defence, led by Alex ers hatrick, Dan Darg and the lenge against Southampton. All 5 the rest of her team, and to "shiner" James rose to the chal- indisputable man of the match racers went down and IC2 cele- James who came out of retire- lenge admirably and the half ended Chris Protherough. Watch out brated a deserved victory - until ment to help with our lack of with a blistering try by Dan "Mr Virgins before it goes to his head. they were disqualified. team members. - DID VOU KNOUU ? * Subway Restaurants is the uuorld's largest submarine sandwich franchise, uuith more than 17,000 locations in 72 countries. * Subway (uuorld-ujide) gives 15% discount off normal sanduuich prices to students everywhere. * Subuuay (203 Carls Court Road) gives 20% discount off normal sandwich prices to Imperial College students RLL THROUGH TH€ V6RR !. * Subway (203 Carls Court Road) is NOUJ OPCN FOR BRCRKFRST from 07.30 a.m. weekdays. GRCRT VRLUC HCflLTHV, FRCSH FOOD FOR I.C. STUDCNTS 1 Subujoy Opening Hours Carls Court Rood Monday 07.30 - 23.45 Tuesday 07.30 - 23.45 Carls Court Underground Wednesday 07.30 - 23.45 Thursday 07.30 - 23.45 LUorujick Rood 203 €arls Court Road Friday 07.30 - 23.45 Carls Court London SUJ5 9FIN Saturday 07.30 - 23.45 Exhibition Tel.: 0207-373-7367 Sunday 09.00 - 23.45 Centre Fox.: 0207-373-2548 [email protected] Please send us your match reports! SPORT FELIX Miners Virgins over the goalie. To be fair, a Medic Comedy moments have to be ICSM 0 - 5 RSM would have cleared it, had he not Surrey 10 - 5 IC Virgins Muttley finding her doppleganger, fallen on his arse. standing in the scrum was jut like Tears were brought to the eyes of Second half, storming Gareth We won but we lost... Cryptic? looking in the mirror, freaky! many on Wednesday when the Northam ran through the entire Not really, we arrived at Surrey This week we pay homage to Royal School of Mines football medic team and when he ran out gagging for some action to find Curly Claire and our new spangly team beat the medics by the most of pitch decided to pull one back that their referee didn't turn up, so shirts now have pink collars. We convincing of margins. Though for to a Mr. Kan Niwho who slotted they conceded and we got the love you Claire and your Ref... the RSM it was a normal home a beautiful side foot volley. BUSA points, yeah baby yeah! Forward and Back of the match Wednesday at work, having won The fifth and final goal was scored So we scored out first try of the go to Kitty and Aoife (again) for their fourth game in a row, now by Rob "Shampoo Officer" season, beautifully executed by being good, really, supporting us topping the ULU 2nd Division. Thomas, when after a handball in Aoife - and if you don't know hot and all that good rugby type style It all started beautifully with the the box, he stepped up to place to pronounce her name, you stuff. So for their efforts they cheap return fare to the football the ball in the bottom right hand should've read last weeks match downed a pint each with Fresher ground and it then went from corner off the penalty spot, amaz- report! The try originated from the Jess, for being a match virgin. good to brilliant when RSM scored ingly. This team effort would not back of a ruck, the ball travelling Oh, and kids, we have two new three quick goals in succession. have happened if it weren't for the down the line with stunning preci- romances for you following last The first, from the legendary mid- fantastic duo Dougal Tyrie and sion, getting to Aoife who ran weeks drunken Wednesday night. fielder James Dean, the second Russel Tailing, who provide the through at least three attempted I'll keep you updated, of course. from Paul Talbot, our own bulldog spinal cord of the whole team. tackles at high speed, side who never gives up the chase, Benoit "Bartez" incidentally had stepped the most beautiful side- who with his back to goal, some- an interesting trip to the surburbs step and followed up with a sprint Congratulations to the IC how pulled it out the bag to spin of London, by being introduced to to score under the posts. Ultimate beginners team who and shoot. Before the end of the the specialty of "Fish & Chips". They scored two lucky trys, but recently beat everyone from first half another one of our leg- Big shout out to Bitchin' Becky our tackling left a little to be UCL, Royal Holloway, University endary players - James Stewart - from ULU for not promoting us out desired and they did manage to of Surrey, LSE and Brunei. ran on to a long ball, and flicked it of this league, 0-5, thanks. break our line. Live footbal en the imperial college union Bl imperial * imperial college college union CHARING CROSS BAR union (WEEK DOTS OHLY) Sun 27th Oct 2pm Southampton v Fulham 4pm West Ham v Everton Mon 28 Ocl 8pm Bolton v Sunclerlond Toes 29th Oct 7.45pm Wednesday, Moccobi Hoifo v Mon. Utd. Wed 30th Oct 8pm October 30^ Liverpool v Volencio 7.45pm 8pm-1am (Bar'til 12) t]P £1 Union/£1.50Guests/£.50P2P Thurs 31 st Oct 8pm P2P members must enter before 10pm for their discount to be valid Celtic v Blockburn Rovers [email protected] Please send us your match reports!
Felix Issue 1223, 2002
