Fuse Magazine Issue 01: New – October 2020

Illustration by Wendy Wong 1 Left: Illustration by Michelle Murray @michelle_murray.design

“With so much change happening with the effects of Covid-19, the BLM movement and more people working from home, it is indeed a new age of work and culture – as a result, being in isolation has affected us and has shown an exponential increase of mental health problems during this time”

Hello!

If you’re reading this, then I can’t thank It’s always been a part of the plan – to build you enough for wanting to support Fuse the platform up to a point where a magazine & to read the best in creativity right now. could happen. Being the only person who’s Welcome to the first issue of Fuse Magazine. a part of Fuse, (now not so much, with ten It’s packed with over 25 contributors, all chapters!) It never came to be. But, I do showcasing their flair in creative writing, remember sitting in my university studio, beautiful photography, effortless illustrative flicking through the magazines there and work and loads more. There’s a huge article thinking... “I wish I could do this”. This first in here titled Creative Finds that holds a issue took a while to create, but it’s finally host of creatives that deserve to have their here and I can’t wait to keep sharing it. work shown. Plus, there’s other articles, such as Luke Crompton’s Ain’t No Black; An Thank you so much to everyone who’s honest look at race from the perspective of grabbed a copy and for continuously a mixed-race person. Something I heavily supporting Fuse in anything we do. enjoyed reading. – Jaheed Hussain, Founder & Creative Editor

3 Fuse Magazine Contents & Contributors

Issue One: New

CREATIVE EDITOR & DESIGNER: Jaheed Hussain 6 Event thoughts: Lecture In Progress COVER IMAGE ILLUSTRATOR: & Saori Masuda deliver a Pep Talk Wendy Wong (@wend.ywong) 10 Wendy Wong’s illustrative quirks WRITTEN CONTRIBUTORS: Luke Crompton 14 Ain’t No Black by Maya Luthra Luke Crompton S. Rupsha Mitra 20 Nostalgia: Poetry by CREATIVE CONTRIBUTORS: S. Rupsha Mitra Estella Agyepong Kymara Akinpelumi 22 Creative finds by Fuse Klara Blazek Sargam Gupta 46 Silence will triumph: Poetry by Jessica Hargwood S. Rupsha Mitra Olivia Hemingway Maria Hopwood 48 Fuse Playlist – 02: Power Christopher Jarvis Kohenoor Kamal 50 Farewell: Poetry by Kulsum Karolia S. Rupsha Mitra Lucy Kent Aneesah Khan 52 Welcoming Newness by Lea Linin Releasing the Past by Maya Luthra Layan Mahmoud Inês Margarida Saori Masuda Sujatha Isabelle Moraes Follow us & Get in touch: Michelle Murray fusemcr.com Panna Nyeste @fusemanchester Makayla P [email protected] Jasmine Patel Emily Redfearn Look for your local chapter: Sulego Said fusemcr.com/chapters

Illustration by Lea Linin @lealiniiin 4 lea-linin.com Event thoughts: Lecture In Progress & Saori Saori Masuda – Japan x Korea PlayType: A collection inspired by the written language of Japan (Kanji) & Korea (Hangeul), a response to continuous feuding Masuda deliver a between the two countries and suggestion of unity and peace. Pep Talk.

At Google Creative Lab, Saori’s day-to-day Event thoughts is a new type of feature! happenings are interchangeable; whether Usually creative events that I used to go it’s brainstorming with the team, researching to in person, always left me with some on user-driven projects or working on a thinking to do - in a good way. Obviously, quick-turnaround deadline. Just recently, because of what’s happening, events went Lecture In Progress hosted a new series digital all over and I can honestly say, there titled ‘Pep Talk’ aiming to motivate and were a few that I’ve been to and massively offer advice to younger graduates and enjoyed throughout. I’m keen to reiterate creatives. Funnily enough, it’s the only event that this isn’t a review, but a synopsis of I’d seen that wasn’t delivered over zoom, what happened in this event and all the so straight away, it took away the anxiety good I took away once it finished. of getting in the right call & praying your video and audio isn’t on - for some reason. Saori Masuda is a creative that specialises Also, it was the first event that didn’t offer in graphic design and art direction. Saori’s a presentation - instead it was a one-to- own website features a ton of creative one conversation between Indi Davies (of projects that vary in context and platform. Lecture in Progress) and Saori. Again, it felt Saori’s also a part of Google Creative Lab extremely refreshing to listen and absorb down in London and has been a part of the its contents, teaching me that there’s more industry since graduating. than one way to deliver an online event. Words by Jaheed Hussain Works by Saori Masuda 7 Fuse Magazine Right: Saori Masuda – MOJO: A collection of risograph prints surrounding failure in the creative industry

Below: Screenshot of the livestream

It was straightforward, punchy and quick to Create your own space. the point - based on what Saori would’ve Passion projects are important. Exhibit liked to hear once she graduated; knowing Fuse! Find what you’re passionate about and exactly where to look for graphic design create a self-initiated project surrounding experience and finding the ‘right place’ in it. It won’t make waves instantly, but the this huge industry. longer you work on it, the stronger it will grow. I agree wholeheartedly with this when Try it out. Saori mentioned it. It shows ambition and One of Saori’s first points happened to it’s entirely yours. You can even bring on be that place. For me, I hadn’t found a others to collaborate with. ‘place’ yet. Fuse was in its early days and I became lucky enough because people paid Network & follow the work you love. attention. Saori’s advice was to experience Saori and Indi talked about the importance as much as possible, even if it isn’t what of networking – many people don’t really you pictured. If someone is offering you any realise it, but simply engaging with content opportunity outside of graduating, have a you see on , & LinkedIn, is a chat and try it out. It all adds up to that form of networking. It’s connections you will dreaded CV update. Plus, it can open up make, which leads to further connections. future connections, something that I’ll following, commenting and engaging into at a later point! Trying things out led with the work you love, you instantly begin me to this magazine. to network.

Facing early rejections. It’s worth re-watching the entire livestream To get opportunities, you’ve got to apply. back if you can. I’d definitely recommend Nine times out of ten, you won’t get that doing so and letting it inspire you. ideal place as a graduate (I didn’t). However, Saori said some really important comments about dealing with that earlier rejection. Find Saori Masuda at: @s_a_o_r_i_ Asking for feedback is key. Any pointers s-a-o-r-i.com about your application and/or work will help Google & Creative Lab: @google you for future applications. Plus, you’ve got the-dots.com/pages/google-creative-lab-122533 Lecture in Progress: @lectureinprogress to keep going. Be honest about your work, lectureinprogress.com/journal/pep-talk-saori- but don’t oversell or undersell yourself. masuda-google

8 9 Fuse Magazine Wendy Wong’s illustrative quirks. Putting the spotlight on Fuse Magazine’s first cover illustrator.

Wendy Wong has been a mainstay on our Manchester directory for a while now. Despite living in London, Wendy is a proper Mancunian, originally being from After discovering her through Women In Manchester. From the off, Wendy’s creative Print (another Manchester-based collective illustrations evoke a love of playfulness you should 100% check out) I knew Wendy in day-to-day life. With the simplicity of Wong is someone to look-out for. It’s not each occurring piece enhanced by vivid hard to imagine any of the pieces featured tones. It’s exactly what drew my attention, in our first issue to go onto some huge knowing that Wendy’s work had to be creative media platforms out there. Don’t featured on Fuse, in some way. When joining be surprised to see the sort within the next the collective, Wendy explained her style few years. as “basically like drawing adult things in a childish way, very influenced by cartoons and my own experiences”, meaning the @wend.ywong impressions of quirky figures aren’t far too wendywong.co.uk dissimilar from Wendy’s other works. womeninprint.uk

Words by Jaheed Hussain Illustrations by Wendy Wong 10 11 Fuse Magazine

12 13 Fuse Magazine Words by Luke Crompton Ain’t No Black. Cover photograph by Arianna Jadé

It’s also difficult to self-criticise. Who really It seems that change is in the air. As wants to look at themselves in the mirror America’s streets continue to bear witness and search for accountability when it’s so to the largest civil rights movement in our much easier to subscribe to the ‘out of lifetime, we’ve followed suit here in the UK – sight, out of mind’ philosophy? When the with protests taking place up and down the issues are harder to see, and much closer country in support of the to home, it can be difficult to want to find movement. And after having attended one of them. In reality, it’s taken me a lot of self- the protests in Manchester, I got to thinking reflection and thinking about my own racial more and more about the UK’s relationship journey to even begin to understand where with race, and more specifically where I see I fit in, and I’m still learning every day. myself within it. For the avoidance of any doubt, I am mixed One of the most common misconceptions race. One quarter Jamaican, three quarters I’ve heard over the years is that the US is English. Not white, not black. I say this so irredeemably racist, but we’re spotless here clearly now because it’s only fairly recently at home. That we were the first country to dawned on me that this is my racial abolish slavery (we weren’t) and that racism identity, and as a mixed race person I’ve in our country today is essentially a thing often been confused about exactly where I of the past (it isn’t). Thankfully, this isn’t an fall on the spectrum of history and culture idea I hear thrown about too much anymore, - an issue which I know affects others like but I think the reason we believe – as a me in much the same way. I was born and collective mind - that the UK is innocent raised in Bolton, and with the exception compared to the US is that everything is of my mum and my brothers, my entire just so extreme when you look stateside. A family is white. As such, I don’t remember nation driven by doing things bigger, better being exposed to my Caribbean heritage in and faster than everyone else, America’s many ways other than through the research examples of systemic racism and social and cultural appreciation I’ve carried out injustice are out in the open for all to see. myself. Now this isn’t anyone’s fault, and Because of this, it’s easy to identify what’s I don’t particularly lament the absence of going wrong there and point the finger of black influence and education in my early blame – it’s a sense of ‘otherness’ that life – but it does mean that as I think about enables us to critically analyse, and then it today, I clearly didn’t think of myself as condemn, their actions. US bad, UK good. mixed race during my childhood.

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conversation about race with a black girl. Another example came as recently as May Long story short, after describing how I of last year – when a white friend told me relate more closely with the black side of that I don’t ‘look’ black, so to him I was my culture, I was told that I wasn’t allowed simply white. At first I met his comment to feel that way. I was too white, and as with confusion, and admittedly I remember such not permitted to choose my own laughing it off and saying nothing, but it racial identity. This brings me back to my later dawned on me that this is a seriously earlier point about my changing skin tone. skewed way of thinking, and it reeks of Obviously, everyone looks darker when privilege. This nonchalant denial of someone they’ve got a tan – but I’ve heard the ‘oh else’s identity in a way that makes it more you look black today’ line countless times accessible for yourself is exactly the kind following a summer holiday, and during the of thinking that stops us from progressing, colder months even I’m surprised at how and should be tackled at the early stages pale I can appear. So it’s safe to assume of education. that on this winter’s night, I probably looked Looking back, these comments obviously white. White enough to have my race weren’t maliciously racist, rather they were denied by someone I would’ve assumed born from the ‘banter’ culture that was so knew better. This didn’t sit well with me at prevalent among boys of that age. However, all; is it okay for me to relate to my black what this whitewashing of my psyche did culture if I’m tanned at the time? Am I only serve to do was repress my need to explore allowed to advocate for black lives when and understand my heritage. Add this to the I look a tiny bit more like the people I’m much-debated contemporary issue of a Luke Crompton fighting for? Can I raise a fist to the air in largely one-sided British history curriculum August, but not in December? in schools, and I was left with no desire to really know the story of my people. It didn’t It’s worth noting that in terms of my seem like much at the time, but to look back appearance, you’d be forgiven for now and retrospectively realise that I didn’t sometimes thinking I was white at a glance have much of a personal racial identity is – especially as my skin colour can range an odd feeling. from pale to dark in extremes. But it wasn’t until secondary school that I started to Luckily, I was able to get a better handle recognise my own non-whiteness, and on my culture, my heritage and my identity this is where my internal racial dialogue in general later in life. But one instance really begins. I’ve been told I’m simply ‘not from my uni days sticks out as something black’ more times than I know, and as far that should be mentioned here. Late into as I can recall, the comment was usually in a winter night out, sat in a student house response to me expressing an interest in with a group of friends and strangers, I was something that basically isn’t white. Black engaged in a fairly public music, sports stars, civil rights issues – to some my enthusiasm for them was seen as me ‘trying to be black’, and essentially appropriating what is my own culture.

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A few nights ago, I remembered a song I’d heard in the primary school yard – a song that ended with ‘and there ain’t no black in the Union Jack, send the bastards back’, or something to that effect. The memory was At the risk of centring myself in an issue like a punch to the gut, as I realised that it that’s much bigger than me, I’ll say that was highly likely those words had left my these are minor examples of uncomfortable mouth on more than one occasion. I was situations regarding questions of race. But overcome with shame, but it made me what I think is interesting is the fact that it’s think. As kids, the majority of us would sing an almost exclusively mixed-race dilemma along for no reason other than the fact the - and it speaks to a bigger existential words rhymed – how were we to know the struggle. What I’ve just detailed are two abhorrence of the lyrical content? My issue separate examples of racial prejudice from now lies with the generational problem both sides of the black/white spectrum of racism in this country - the first kid to which - if I hadn’t already managed to gain sing that at school had to have learned it some sense of my ‘mixed raceness’ - from someone - and what we’re going to do could’ve really damaged my identity about it. perception and confused me even more. But today, I’m proud of my mixed race heritage Thankfully, writing this piece has been the – and in the wake of recent developments in cathartic experience I’d hoped it would be, the global discussion around race relations, and airing my experiences has helped me my position on the racial spectrum feels ask important questions and understand more advantageous than ever. my racial position that little bit more. I hope it’ll inspire you to do the same, no matter To borrow from a blog post I read recently your heritage. by Annie Wakefield, my place at ‘an intersection of race’ enables me to empathise with the struggles of the black diaspora whilst also using my own white privilege to make a real difference and, Luke is a 24 year-old copywriter living crucially, be listened to. I know that if I can and working in Manchester. Influenced by use my own personal understanding of the his Caribbean heritage, his work focuses intricacies of race to amplify the voices mainly on race relations and social justice of white allies, and help other people like both in the UK and across the pond. myself navigate their own journeys through the racial landscape, I’m doing my bit for @lukecrompton_ the cause. wordsoffthetop.wordpress.com

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Nostalgia By S.Rupsha Mitra.

Platinum sheen glows Mangata Lake dazzles Morpheus midnight. Myriad mirth-moist Memoirs murmur in mind. Of lilac lanes, Mellow essence Loss-litanies, And latent pains. Songs of spring Carefree days Figment flights- All Gleaming like Rose gold Moon

Illustration by Sargam Gupta 20 21 Fuse Magazine

Creativity is a massive space. It’s full of undiscovered talents that rarely get an opportunity to tell their own stories – it’s competitiveness sorta overwhelms the collaborative need for any arts and culture platform. Owning up to a better need for showcasing talent is the right step to an inclusive industry – better than the one we inherited from previous generations. In the past, I’ve seen open calls where creators have to pay to have their work judged. Even something like D&AD’s New Blood contest (why do we still have contests?) is specifically for final year students, and still there’s a fee to submit. Fuse is built to showcase work from creatives of colour, regardless of practice, employment status or follower count...

Creative This upcoming space is fully dedicated to as many contributors – regardless of race Sulego Said and colour – I could fill into our first issue. Creative Finds gathers as many projects finds. Sulego Said is a Black Muslim photographer, and stories by people, all over the world. based in the UK – recently experimenting Over the next few spreads, you’ll be able to with colour & shadows to portray emotions. find inspiration, communicated concepts & beautiful work that will hopefully lead you @sulaygox to discover someone new.

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Sargam Gupta

A new way to belong together. “While the pandemic has everyone distanced and forced into isolated bubbles, the one thing that is new and unexpected, is that we are all in the same boat. We’ve been through similar phases of frustration during lockdown, encountered similar moments in our own parallel universes. We are all new to how things will pan out in the future and we are all learning to focus on ourselves a little bit more”

Sargam Gupta is a South-Asian art director and designer based out of San Francisco and New Delhi. Gupta aims to focus on using illustration as a medium, to voice thoughts and be a constant reminder that nothing can stop her.

sargamgupta.com @stopthisgupta

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“This artwork is heavily influenced and named after the song Time’s A Wastin’ by Erykah Badu. Although the song is about young black men and I am a female, its overall message of perseverance is Makayla P. relatable to me. I created it to be a personal @studiom.global reminder to keep on going”

A Life With You. Jasmine Patel is a final year graphic design student, currently at Birmingham City Jasmine Patel University – describing herself as “an behance.net/lightunnels individual who finds joy in keeping things @lightunnels authentic”

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Kohenoor Kamal

Maybe I’m Dyslexic “This publication had been produced through frustration of the lack of resources, given throughout my life having been undiagnosed with Dyslexia and Dyspraxia – finding out very recently about this during my second year at university. I wanted to create a publication that highlighted and shared some of these experiences. As well as including my own accounts of misunderstanding, I had carried out an extensive amount of research which had informed the final production of this zine, including practical and interactive elements which aim to give the reader an insight into the distortion of text some dyslexics can face whilst reading” kohenoork.myportfolio.com @kohenoor_kamal

28 29 Kulsum Karolia

Kulsum is a graphic design student at the Manchester School Of Art. “The idea behind this design was for each letter to be drawn differently to represent different people”.

@kulsumkarolia

Jessica Hargwood

Jessica is a painter who works with the medium in a sculptural way – Reflecting personal identity of existing between two worlds as a biracial woman.

jessicahargwood.com @jessicahargwood

Living In A Bubble Layan “In 2020, so many things have happened. I Mahmoud decided to illustrate white people living in a bubble and the need to break that bubble. “A lot of us might shy away from the need It’s no longer acceptable to close our eyes to self-express in fear of judgment or and pretend that racism doesn’t exists” stepping out of the norm so this piece is Inês Margarida my constant reminder to be experimental, Inês is a motion designer that tells stories & bold and play with color”. conveys emotions through her illustrations inesmargarida.myportfolio.com @really__ugly__art and animations. @ines.margarida_motion

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Klara Blazek 100 Iterations of a Memory: Iterations 65, 96 & 97 A journal entry in Prague, reconstructed. klarablazek.com “The identity crisis ripping through the @klara.blazek picture I shared that day on social media”.

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Emily Redfearn is a Sheffield based Emily illustrator, animator & designer. “A key part of my work is vibrancy and being playful. I Redfearn love colour and bringing my illustrations to emilyredfearn.co.uk life through animation.” @emredfearn

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Christopher Black Queens Rise Up An artist, also known as ‘Waste Of Talent’ Jarvis - Jarvis learnt his skills from an early childhood growing up as a self taught artist expressing his talent through illustrations, sketches, paintings and much more.

InterMix “A platform aiming to support and pave new paths for aspiring female DJs in the currently male-dominated music industry. I designed the new logo and identity which Panna Nyeste visually attempts to communicate the goals helloimpanna.com of InterMix by melding and intertwining @helloimpanna contrasting typefaces”. @intermix_

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Sujatha Isabelle Moraes

Decoding Racism Set of 3 pins visualising a distinct perception of racism as an Indian in Australia, using minimal illustrations and typography.

Sujatha is a designer and creative director with expertise in art direction, graphic design, brand strategy, identity, illustration and human-centred design experiences across boutique design agencies and large scale corporations, spanning over 10 years.

She currently works independently with clients, setting up curated teams to solve their brand communication needs.

Estella Agyepong behance.net/Sujathaimoraes @justtestella @sujathamoraes

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SMALL WORLDS Lockdown in Meltham:

Photographer and artist Olivia Hemingway has created an art poster project inspired by people’s experiences in lockdown. The SMALL WORLDS series combines personal interviews, photographic details & socially distant portraits, giving insights into people’s lives through stories of struggle, strength, community spirit, humour and expressions of hope.

SMALL WORLDS will be showcased in a gallery on the artist’s website from 22 September 2020 and the poster exhibition Olivia Hemingway will be launched at the Carlile Institute, oliviahemingway.com/small-worlds Meltham on 1 October 2020. @oliviahemingway

Bodyform “I rebranded the Bodyform packaging to make it more suitable and equal for transgender males and non-binary people. Period products should be viewed like any other toiletry product and should therefore have a gender neutral brand image” Maria Maria Hopwood is a recent graduate from Falmouth University. Born in Guatemala and Hopwood raised in Cornwall, UK. @mariadiaz_creative

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“The Afro is a definitive part of being a person of colour, thus, it is something that should be celebrated! Like many following the mainstream beauty standard of European hair, and falling into the aftermath of disguising our natural hair for so many years historically, being confident with our natural hair is not an easy place to get to, and I want to change that. It’s time for a NEW perspective on our hair“

Kymara Kymara Akinpelumi is a photographer constructing imagery that celebrates the Akinpelumi afro, with the aim to help people of colour @kymara.co love their natural hair.

Eroding Time “The artworks are made using paper and pine needles. The paper is handmade cotton rag paper and comes from a company called Khadi Papers. I was experimenting with natural materials and exploring how they can be paired together, creating sculptural formations. The works were initially made in response and acknowledgement of plant root systems and human intervention in the landscape”

Lucy Kent is an artist based in Wakefield, Lucy Kent West Yorkshire. Lucy studied at Manchester School of Art on their Textiles programme lucykent.co.uk and graduated last year. @lucykent_art

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Aneesah Khan

Aneesa Khan is an interior and 3D designer with an affinity for soul nourishment in every sense. @alkha.studio

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Silence will triumph

(First published in Indian Periodical) By S.Rupsha Mitra.

Aunt searches for prognosticators, she rummages through books of prediction for talismans. My sister wants to fly like ‘Una Paloma Blanca’ as she listens to the song of a serenading free bird. I say ‘times are tough, you must mutter up..’ The pallor of gloom that she carries in her heavy heart, I understand. The monotony continues almost like a grinding machine, The horrors haunt – the abhorrence of news, While pyrrhic politics continues. In our homes, yet like in dungeons we stay, Midst anomaly and uncertainty. Misted like a fog, as darkened as sable storms, the future ahead, feels uncanny, Yet we stay awake with lanterns of hope. We celebrate the bonds that strengthen, we treasure the concurring concinnity of togetherness And empathise, for once and all – In this silence, we will win!

Photography by Alina Vilchenko 46 47 Fuse Magazine

Tracklist:

Standout – Knucks, Loyle Carner, Venna The opening song on our playlist, lyrically emphatic and beautifully produced with an amazing saxophone filling the background noise. It was just released early September, it’s one of two newest Listen to the playlist: songs on our playlist. spoti.fi/3mJ5Oxw Time – Free Nationals, Kali Uchis, Mac Miller Time is an upbeat tune that fills your ears with hope. Mac’s been featured on our first playlist and Kali’s just great, as per usual.

Boredom (feat. Rex Orange County & Anna of the North) – Tyler, The Creator If you get the chance, you should watch Tyler’s NPR Fuse Playlistmini-concert on Youtube somewhere. This one live is epic.

Wash Us In The Blood – , Kanye’s surprisingly back to his old best in this one. It’s referencing the uprising in BLM conversations – 02: and raising a fist. The definition of powerful. Hell N Back – Bakar Back to an upbeat tune. One of the least known tracks here but it’s a must-listen if you’re wanting Power to let go. LOVE ME FOR LIFE – BROCKHAMPTON If you’ve not heard any of Brockhampton’s songs, you’re missing out. A group of 16 artists, producers, Power; a sense of empowerment, being singers, designers – all being experimental with heard and being seen. It has always been at their songs and concepts, rarely failing to talk about issues we all face. It’s hard to describe in just the core values of Fuse and everything we a few words. Love Me For Life is an insight into just do. Power from music is an incredible thing. how good they are. Listen. The theme of our first issue is New and the Rainfall (feat. Tiana Major9) – Stormzy first playlist to be featured on our magazine Rainfall is a different type of power. Tiana’s verse picks apart the feeling of ‘New Power’. From will uplift and motivate anyone listening. songs we’ve listened to, to some released survivin’ – Bastille this year, to others that lyrically offer that The final track on our playlist and the most ‘badass’ feeling whenever it’s playing. recent! survivin’ is melancholic lyrically, while it’s production is quite calming. As the song goes on, the lyrics talk about growing in hope of You can listen to this playlist at the link on things being relatively okay, getting through and the top of page or here: spoti.fi/3mJ5Oxw blossoming every day.

48 49 Farewell By S.Rupsha Mitra.

The zestful zephyr plunges us In the depths of the cocoons we weaved With threads of gold, the silver and turquoise, shadowed, belief. We sit by the windowpane rubbed with the light of honey paint – glistening With the crystal dew drops offering the panoramic view – of the cerulean sky. With hearts as heavy as never, we dwell in our golconda of memoirs, The perfumed petrichor fills our minds with the pictures of the past – Like a cornucopia, a plenitude of brimming emotions nestling midst the heart like an exotic fruit. We enter the dreary deserts like dungeons, fettering us – athirst, We behold the aura of oases that enliven us. The roses of love, the laborious loss and ease, all – in a flash come back to us. We gain conscience, with tears – an adieu yet a beacon beam alive to meet again at the end of this long lane.

S.Rupsha Mitra is a student from India with a penchant for writing poetry. She is studying Psychology Honours and often writes about emotion and motivation theories. Her works have been published or are upcoming in Harbinger Asylum, Fly on the Wall Press Illustration by Sargam Gupta Magazine, Word Fest: Anthology and Journal of Expressive Writing. 51 Fuse Magazine Words & Illustration by Maya Luthra Maya’s illustration is now available as a print via Maya’s Instagram! Welcoming

The sun-bleached, wilted leaves of the After every exchange I felt ashamed that bamboo palm that resides on my windowsill, I wasn’t able to walk away. I felt ashamed a visual reminder of my incompetence and of my inability to articulate why it hurts Newness by inadequacy. This bamboo palm was bought when white people avoid discussions of for £7 in Sainsbury’s nearly two years ago race. Instead my words would come out during my second year at university, a year disjointed, jumbled and confused. Publicly, riddled with difficulties that would come to anger would flow out of me instead of define that chapter of my life. I recall this the tears that always followed privately. I Releasing previous life whilst observing the growth of felt guilty for standing up against racism a new one. because it had created the environment for friendships to break down. I felt guilty I look at my houseplants and wonder why for being the only person of colour in my some thrive and others don’t. No matter friendship group. I felt guilty that I didn’t let the Past. how I try to control the growth of my plants, people see how much I was hurt. some seem to reject me. Like friendships, some plants blossom when nurtured, others Closing this chapter means focusing my fade. My inability to let go of my wilted energy, not on fixing friendships that will wilt and waned plants is synonymous with my and weather despite my efforts to rebuild struggle to loosen the grip on friendships them, but on myself. My next, new chapter that no longer sustain me. Old friendships will be defined by pride, empowerment and are complex, full and often, comfortable. As a sense of belonging - not to a friendship I attempt to close this chapter of my life group, but to myself. A new life filled with and start anew, relinquishing ties to an old new friendships, new lessons and a new life has been convoluted and ultimately city feels daunting, the idea of creating heart-breaking. friendships like my previous ones feels inconceivable right now. None of us know I feel constantly conflicted between what where we will be in a month, six months or a I know is right for me and my loyalty to year (especially during a global pandemic) memories of childhood friendships. Surely all I do know is my new sense of pride in another conversation about race won’t hurt who I am as a woman of colour will ground me? Surely another discussion of why I have me… been hurt will fix this mess? It’s a lonely place to be, trying to convince people to ’t be putting my bamboo palm in stand up for you as a person of colour and direct sunlight ever again. think beyond the parameters of their white privilege. Many people said to me what I Maya Luthra is a Fine Art and Art History would say to others: you shouldn’t have to graduate from Manchester School of Art. convince people to stand up for you. @mayaluthraart

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Illustrations by Lea Linin

Lea Linin is a self-taught illustrator based in Vancouver, BC. She loves wandering and has had an illustrious career as a traveller (including living in four different countries for extended periods of time), which has greatly informed her illustration practice. On most days, you can find her wandering around Vancouver discovering the magic of everyday life.

@lealiniiin lea-linin.com 54 55 Fuse Magazine

Reppin’ the best in creativity.

Fuse is an inclusive platform, elevating the voices and work from creatives of colour. Established in Manchester and now in five countries.

@fusemanchester fusemcr.com [email protected] 56