NOVEMBER 9 . 2002 • Q-NOTES 23 No more hiding

Player left NFL to live out in the open; wanted to be happy. sad. I didn’t want to call “I really don’t see it as being that big a retired in 1999 from the Ex-teammates “didn’t attention to myself. If I had a deal,” Carolina Panthers left tackle Todd know the true me. Now sack, I’d have a sleepless Steussie, who played with Tuaolo in By Jim Buzinski they’ll know me for who I am night, wondering if now they Minnesota from 1994 to 199,6, told the Rock Outsports^Com — a gay former NFL player. would catch me.” Hill SC Herald, “It might make some people 1 feel wonderful. 1 feel like a )oe Somodi, a New York Esra Tuaolo, 6-3, 300-pounds, who can uncomfortable, but to mo it’s a non-issue. burden has been lifted. I feel producer/director who "I’ve known It for a while, but to me, what bench press a house, had to compose himself befriended Tuaolo and helped like I’ve taken off the costume Esera does on his own time is his own during an HBO interview with Bernard I’ve been wearing all my life.” persuade him to go public business. I consider him a friend.” Goldberg, as he recounted the nasty anti-gay It was easy for Tuaolo to said, “His dream wasn’t to be “You Don’t Flave to Run Any More" epithets and jokes he heard in various locker wear the costume and avoid in the NFL. It was just a Craig Sauer, a linebacker who knew Tuaolo rooms during his nine-year career in the detection. Being seen in paycheck.” in Atlanta, heard rumors about his friend when . public on the arm of a It’s easy to see that “Faggot ... queer ... fudge-packer. There’s beautiful woman and a lot of Tuaolo, with his easy grin he joined the Vikings in 2000. Sauer called a joke ..." Tuaolo said, his voice trailing off; he alcohol helped ease the way. and affable manner, was a Tauolo and asked if he was gay. Tuaolo’s long Esra Tuaolo left NFL to live looked away, fighting tears. Goldberg’s popular teammate, and he pause confirmed his suspicions. The pain became so as gay man, partner, dad questions took him back to the pain. intense, Tuaolo would counts several current Vikings Sauer said, "Hey buddy, here’s the deal. Tuaolo laughed at his teammates’ jokes, sometimes drive down the road and fantasize among his friends. You know I disagree with it and I believe God but “inside it would be tearing me up, that I about “turning the wheel and ending it all." Most teammates would not tolerate the forbids it. but I love you like a brother. If you stood there and listened to it and didn’t say Tuaolo, a Samoan born in Hawai with eight truth can handle me not agreeing with your lifestyle anything about it.” siblings, played defensive tackle for five teams No matter how popular Tuaolo may have ... then we can be friends.” Tualo is only the third NFL player to ever in nine years, spending the longest time with been, though, there’s little question many Tuaolo said ho appreciated Sauer’s publicly say he’s gay, joining in the . His one trip to the teammates would have turned on him had support. "Ho was groat about it. He also told 1975 and Roy Simmons in 1992. 1998 Super Bowl while he was with Atlanta. they found out his secret. me, ’You’ve been running and now you don’t While Tuaolo’s story is unique in its setting In 1991, Tuaolo was drafted in the second “He would have been eaten alive and he have to run any more.’” —a pro sports locker room — his feelings of round by the Green Bay Paekers after a would have been hated for it," former Packer About the only running Tuaolo does these depression, loneliness and thoughts of suicide standout career at Oregon State. receiver Sterling Sharpe said. “Had he come days is to auditions as ho pursues his singing are universal and resonate with many gays Afraid to be an NFL star out on a Monday, with Wednesday, Thursday, and acting careers. In a 200I review of the play and lesbians. His NFL career, while long, was not Friday practices, he’d have never gotten to the “A Most Happy Fella," a Minneapolis Star- “I Wanted to Be Happy” particularly noteworthy. He said he never other team.” Tribune critic said, "Esera Tuaolo is a raw Tuaolo, 34, lives in Minneapolis with played up to his potential, primarily for fear When asked why teammates would have actor, but his ’aw. shucks’ allure and robust Mitchell Wherley, his life partner of five years that being a star would have raised his profile, had a problem with Tuaolo being gay, Sharpe and their 23-month-old adopted twins, brought more scrutiny and perhaps led to his replied: “Birds of a feather flock together. ... voice serve him well." Mitchell and Michelle. Wherley is part-owner being outed. Now, I got to answer questions that I’m There is little doubt, however, that Tuaolo of a hair salon and day spa and Tuaolo is “Once you learn the system, you can do normally not answering. Question my heart, seems at peace as an openly gay man — carving out a niche as a singer and actor. just enough to make the team,” Tuaolo told question my ability. 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