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20 Dinge, Die Nie in Star Trek Geschehen Würden LCARS-ONLINE.DE 3

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20 Dinge, Die Nie in Star Trek Geschehen Würden LCARS-ONLINE.DE 3 LCARS-ONLINE.DE FUN-LISTEN LCARS-ONLINE.DE 2 Die 10 beliebtesten Kurse an der Sternenflotten Akademie Die 10 sichersten Anzeichen dafür, dass Sie zuviel Star Trek sehen Die 10 besten Aprilscherze auf der Enterprise-D Die 10 besten Wege, eine(n) nicht treksüchtige(n) Freund/in zum Schweigen zu bringen, ohne sie/ihn gleich umzubringen Die 10 besten Heckaufkleber für die Enterprise-D Die 10 wichtigsten Veränderungen, wenn die Sternenflotte Sponsoren hätte 20 absolut sichere Anzeichen dafür, dass Star Trek Ihr Leben übernimmt Die 20 besten Verwendungsmöglichkeiten für Data‘s Kopf 20 Dinge, die nie in Star Trek geschehen würden LCARS-ONLINE.DE 3 Die 10 beliebtesten Kurse an der Sternenflotten Akademie 10. Kommando 302: Gewinnen in Situationen, in denen Sie nicht gewinnen können 9. Kommunikation 101: Öffnen von Grussfrequenzen 8. Weltraumrecht 206: Wie Sie das Militärgericht umgehen können 7. Navigation 102: Standard-Orbit 6. Philosophie 203: Warum immer alle Hauptsysteme zur gleichen Zeit ausfallen 5. Kommando 255: Die richtige Art und Weise, niederrangige Personen für Außen 4. Astrophysik 199: Unbekanne Phänomene erkennen 3. Kommando 309: Kreativer Gehorsam gegenüber Sterneflottenbefehlen 2. Technik 422: Wie Sie grundlegende technische Erfindungen unter Zeitdruck machen 1. Weltraumrecht 499: Die Erste Direktive und wie Sie sie umgehen könne LCARS-ONLINE.DE 4 Die 10 sichersten Anzeichen dafür, dass Sie zuviel Star Trek sehen Sie senden der Schauspielerin Woche für Woche heiße Liebesbriefe, die in der 10. Folge 7 das grünhautige Sklavenmädchen vom Orion gespielt hat 9. Sie lassen Ihr Toupet verfilzen, damit sie endlich Ihren eigenen Tribble haben Sie versuchen der Marine beizutreten, damit auch Sie endlich an Bord der Enter- 8. prise dienen können Ihr Partner verläßt Sie, weil Sie von ihm/ihr verlangten, sich wie ein Klingone zu 7. kleiden und Sie zu foltern, um an Informationen zu gelangen Sie reisen nach San Francisco – in der Hoffnung, daß Sie Kirk und seine Crew 6. treffen, während sie sich im 20. Jahrhundert dort aufhalten, um einen passenden Wal zu finden Das Thema Ihrer Abschlußarbeit war: Ein Vergleich der berühmten Karrieren von 5. T.J. Hooker und Captain Kirk Sie geraten jedes mal in eine mörderische, fast klingonische, Wut, wenn jemand 4. sagt: „Star Trek? Ist das nicht der Film mit Luke Skywalker?“ 3. Sie haben gar kein eigenes Leben mehr 2. Sie erkennen, daß mehr als 4 Dinge auf dieser Liste auf Sie zutreffen Sie treten in die Nasa ein, entführen ein Space Shuttle und steuern damit direkt 1. die von Ihnen berechneten Koordinaten des Planeten Vulkan an LCARS-ONLINE.DE 5 Die 10 besten Aprilscherze auf der Enterprise-D 10. Jeder benimmt sich so, als ob Riker der Captain wäre 9. Geben Sie vor, Sie seien von einem Außerirdischen übernommen worden Programmieren Sie den Replikator in Trois Quartier so um, daß er keine Schoko- 8. lade mehr ausgibt 7. Überspielen Sie die archivierten Aufnahmen des Borgschiffes auf den Hauptbildschirm Teilen Sie Data mit, daß die Sternenflotte sich dazu entschlossen hat, 6. ihn zu demontieren Verstecken Sie einen kleinen Lautsprecher in Dr. Crusher‘s Schlafzimmer, um 5. dann murmelnde Stimmen spielen zu können Schließen Sie Picard aus Versehen im Schulzimmer ein, während sich nur Kinder 4. und kein anderer Erwachsener darin befinden Ersetzen sie einige von Dr. Crusher‘s Mooskulturen durch Moos, das mindestens 3. 24 Stunden älter ist als der Rest 2. Heften Sie Worf ein Schild mit der Aufschrift „Tret‘ mich“ an den Rücken Schreien Sie in Ihren Kommunikator: „Captain, die Eindämmungsfelder der Anti- 1. materie kollabieren!“ LCARS-ONLINE.DE 6 Die 10 besten Wege, eine(n) nicht treksüchtige(n) Freund/in zum Schweigen zu bringen, ohne sie/ihn gleich umzubringen 10. Sagen Sie ihr/ihm: „Deine Ohren machen‘s nicht mehr lange“ 9. Wenden Sie den vulkanischen Nervengriff an Machen Sie einen Androiden aus ihm/ihr und immer wenn er/sie etwas sagen will, 8. befehlen Sie ihr/ihm sofort die Klappe zu halten (siehe „Der dressierte Herrscher“) Halten Sie ihm/ihr einen Phaser vor‘s Gesicht und drohen Sie ihr/ihn damit, sie/ 7. ihn zu betäuben Benutzen Sie den Transporter, um sie/ihn in zwei geteilte Persönlichkeiten zu splitten. 6. Erschießen Sie die böse Person mit Ihrem Phaser, und behalten Sie die gute 5. Schlagen Sie ihr/ihm vor, sich die Folge anzusehen, in der Picard nackt ist 4. Fragen Sie sie/ihm, ob sie/er das Picard-Maneuver sehen will 3. Versuchen Sie: „Computer – Beende das Programm“ Teilen Sie ihr/ihm mit, daß sie/er nicht gemäß der Ersten Direktive handelt, obwohl 2. sie/er es in Ihrem Falle eindeutig mit einer weniger entwickelten Zivilisation zu tun hat 1. Machen Sie ihn/sie zur Borgdrone! LCARS-ONLINE.DE 7 Die 10 besten Heckaufkleber für die Enterprise-D 10. Unser anderes Raumschiff kann sich in drei Stücke teilen! So ein Photonentorpedo kann Ihnen den ganzen Tag ruinieren 9. – denken Sie darüber nach 8. Hupen Sie, wenn Sie mit Cmdr. Riker geschlafen haben 7. Schußwaffen töten nicht unbedingt … Phaser vom Typ II schon! 6. Von Null auf Warp 9,7 in 13 Sekunden! Vorsicht! … Wir haben einen Klingonen mit einem nervösen Finger an der 5. taktischen Station! Wenn Sie das lesen können … meinen Sie nicht, daß Sie ein kleines bisschen zu 4. nahe dran sind? 3. Heute schon einen Ferengi umarmt? 2. Wir bremsen jederzeit für Kuben! 1. Wesley an Bord! Bonus Und als Bonus: „Blonde Borg haben genausoviel Spaß!“ LCARS-ONLINE.DE 8 Die 10 beliebtestenwichtigsten Veränderungen,Kurse an der Sternenflotten wenn die Sternenflotte Akademie Sponsoren hätte O‘Brien würde sagen: „Wir danken Ihnen, dass Sie den Föderationsschnelltrans- 10. porter benutzt haben. Allzeit bereit, wenn Sie absolut sicher sofort irgenwohin müssen!“ Auf jeder Sternenflottenuniform befände sich eine Pepsi-Werbung mit folgendem 9. Text: „Pepsi, die Wahl der nächsten Generation!“ 8. Der Hauptschirm hätte den Sat1-Ball oben links in der Ecke 7. Auf jedem Bildschirm wäre zu lesen: „Sony Trinitron System“ 6. Kommunikatoren hätten die Form eines Krokodils 5. Der Mercedes-Stern wäre deutlich auf der Untertassensektion zu sehen 4. In jedem Turbolift befände sich ein Schild mit der Aufschrift: „Otis Aufzüge“ In Zehn Vorne würde ein großes Schild Neonschild über der Theke hängen mit 3. der Aufschrift: „Miller Litespeed“ Nach jedem Kommunikationspiepser würde eine Stimme sagen: „Vielen Dank, 2. daß Sie die Telekom benutzt haben!“ 1. Die Enterprise würde in „American Express Enterprise“ umbenannt LCARS-ONLINE.DE 9 20 absolut sichere Anzeichen dafür, dass Star Trek Ihr Leben übernimmt 20. Sie sagen in ganz gewöhnlichen Gesprächen: „Machen Sie es so!“ Sie zeigen Empörung darüber, dass es im Periodensystem der chemischen Ele- 19. mente weder Dilithium noch Tritanium gibt Sie sind dazu fähig, die Worte „variabler Phaseninverter“ mühelos in einen Satz 18. einzubauen, ohne erst gründlich darüber nachdenken zu müssen 17. Sie haben mehr als nur ein Paar Spock-Ohren in Ihrer Schublade liegen 16. Sie haben das Rätsel um die Sternenzeit gelöst Sie verspüren plötzlich den unwiederstehlichen Drang, ständig Polysterkleidung 15. tragen zu müssen Sie ertappen sich dabei, wie Sie unter den alkoholischen Getränken nach 14. Synthehol ausschau halten 13. Die Star Trek-Titelmusik wird zur Hintergrundmusik in fast all Ihren Träumen Die Hauptzitatenquelle für all Ihre Aussagen sind Shakespeares Werke, die Bibel 12. und das Drehbuch von The Omega Glory (Das Jahr des roten Vogels) 11. Sie erinnern sich an die einzelnen Zugangscodes jedes Besatzungsmitgliedes Weiter LCARS-ONLINE.DE 10 20 absolut sichere Anzeichen dafür, dass Star Trek Ihr Leben übernimmt (Fortsetzung) Sie vergessen, dass heutige Aufzüge nicht über einen Stimmerkennungs- 10. computer verfügen Sie nehmen des öfteren in nichtmenschlicher Gewandung an diversen 9. Conventions teil Sie machen sich ernsthaft Gedanken darüber, dieses 350€ teure, versilberte 8. Modell der Enterprise von Franklin Mint zu kaufen 7. Sie verstehen klingonisch 6. Sie belehren jeden Naturwissenschaftler darüber, wie ein Transporter arbeitet 5. Sie spielen Fizzbin und verstehen dabei sogar worum es geht „Der unmögliche Captain Okona“ erscheint Ihnen als ein herausragendes Werk 4. der dramatischen Weltliteratur Verzückt verfolgen Sie aufmerksam diese endlose Serien von Spezialeffekten in 3. Star Trek: Der Film 2. Unerklärliche Bergsteigertriebe werden in Ihnen wach 1. Mehr als drei Originaldrehbücher von Star Trek liegen in Ihren Schränken begraben LCARS-ONLINE.DE 11 Die 20 besten Verwendungsmöglichkeiten für Data‘s Kopf 20. Kombinationswerkzeug als Briefbeschwerer/Heftmaschine auf Picard‘s Schreibtisch 19. Der Spielball in Parisses Squares 18. Kühlerfigur für ein Shuttle 17. Ersatz für Trois zerbrochenen Porzellanhund 16. Nützlich, um blinde Studenten in einem Braillekurs zu erschrecken 15. Requisite, um den Instandhaltungstrupps die Türen zu öffnen 14. Rasendekoration im Arboretum 13. Fußschemel für den Sitz des Captains 12. Zur Unterhaltung für die Kinder beim Kasperltheater 11. Um Alexander zu erschrecken, damit er die Hausaufgaben macht Weiter LCARS-ONLINE.DE 12 Die 20 besten Verwendungsmöglichkeiten für Data‘s Kopf (Fortsetzung) 10. Gaggeschenk für den Doktor, der das Kristallwesen tötete 9. Dekorativer Luftfilter in Picard‘s Aquarium Versand zum Androidenforschungscenter der Sternenflotte, damit dort wenigstens 8. ein kühler Kopf im Gebäude ist 7. Tauschobjekt für die Ferengi gegen Star Trek-Hologrammkarten 6. Drei Worte: Ball am Strick! 5. Um Worf‘s Kaffeetisch vom Wackeln abzuhalten 4. Hauptattraktion im Zehn Vorne-Buffett 3. Der Sternenflottenakademie
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