Nurturing Marriage in Tough Times
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WEEK 48, 2020 LIFE & NEONBRAND/UNSPLASH Nurturing Although vulnerability is a key factor in a good marriage, it is something that many women today struggle with, according to Marriage marriage expert Suzanne Venker. in Tough Times A conversation with marriage expert Suzanne Venker BARBARA DANZA ne of the many profound les- sons this challenging year has taught us is just how important our closest relationships are. For some married couples, dif- Oficult times may have forged stronger bonds; for others existing issues may have become magnified. I asked Suzanne Venker, a relationship coach and the author of five books on marriage, for her advice on nurturing marriage in troubled times. Here’s what she said. The Epoch Times: Every married couple wants a good marriage. What do you believe are the key characteristics of a good marriage? Suzanne Venker: There are four main aspects of marriage that have the capacity to make or break the relationship. If a couple can agree on those, they have a great shot at a happy mar- riage. Those four areas are: money, parenting, religion, and in-laws. Money is the No. 1 source of marital conflict and divorce. This has always been the case, but the nature of the problems has changed. For one thing, men and women are bringing a boatload of student loan debt to the marriage and viewing this debt and “his” and “hers.” Nothing is your own after you get married; the entire purpose of marriage is to become one, or part of a team. If a couple’s monies are separate and if there’s no transparency, this is a huge indica- tor the couple is approaching marriage all wrong. To be successful at marriage, you have to work together. All income is joint income when you marry, regardless of who makes what—and both partners need equal spend- ing power. Bottom line: When it comes to money, if you and your spouse are adversaries rather than allies, your marriage will be rocky or will end. How to parent the children—or more spe- cifically, how to discipline them—is also huge. It is imperative that a couple be on the same page about how to discipline, otherwise the kids wind up in charge because they’ll use their parents’ disagreements to their advan- tage and wreak havoc on the marriage. Continued on Page 4 NICHOLAS HUNT/GETTY ImagES Why We Can ‘Believe’ in Andrea Bocelli MAUREEN MACKEY from composer Ennio Morricone. “I think that this was the best moment The Italian tenor’s new The great Italian tenor Andrea Bocelli for an album speaking to the spirit,” said has delighted and amazed audiences Bocelli on Nov. 13 during the Facebook album shares joy and all over the globe with his stunning vo- Live launch of “Believe,” which was inspiration cal performances. Now, a new musical broadcast around the globe from his release continues that tradition. home in Tuscany. His latest album, “Believe,” show- “There are many different kinds of cases songs that have “inspired and music in this album,” he added. “We sustained Bocelli over the years,” ac- have music by Mozart, there is music cording to his publicity postings. by [Ennio] Morricone—somebody will The songs on “Believe” include Bocel- remember that he wrote ‘Romanza’— li’s rousing interpretation of the great and there is a song written by me,” said Italian singer Andrea Bocelli in concert Rodgers and Hammerstein “Carou- Bocelli humbly. at Madison Square Garden in New York sel” tune, “You’ll Never Walk Alone,” on Dec. 13, 2018. as well as a never-before-heard track Continued on Page 2 B22 | LIFE & TRADITION NOVEMBER 25–DECEMBERWeek 48, 1, 2020 NOVEMBERWeek 48, 2020 25–DECEMBER 1, 2020 LIFE & TRADITION |B3 3 TRAVEL Andrea Bocelli at a Glance Why We Can ‘Believe’ Age: 62 Cowpens: The Battle for Land and Country Born: Sept. 22, 1958, in Lajatico, Italy RACHAEL DYMSKI by Lord Charles Cornwallis to In the midst of this fighting, field, my husband and I were Learned piano, flute, and destroy Morgan, Tarleton and Gen. Nathanael Greene split reminded that war is fought in saxophone as a child Cowpens Battlefield, located in his British troops pursued the This battlefield, his Southern Continental army the most ordinary of places. in Andrea Bocelli rural western South Carolina, Patriots and scouted Morgan’s and commanded Morgan to Bravery and heroism need no Diagnosed with congenital glaucoma surrounded by a at five months old; became blind at is a beautifully maintained army near the Pacolet River in take his troops into the Caro- special stage, and the weightiest PIERO CRUCIATTI/AFP VIA GETTY IMAGES age 12 after a soccer accident piece of history by the National South Carolina’s backcountry. variety of trees lina backcountry and wreak victories are often found where Continued from Page 1 Park Service. Complete with a Prior to Cowpens, the British havoc on the British in what- no one seems to expect them. Wife: Veronica Berti (m. 2014; mar- paved 1.2-mile battlefield trail, had been tearing through the and stunning ever way they could: cutting The victory on this unassuming “Then there are also some songs ried previously to Enrica Cenzatti) a picnic area, and a resources- South, capturing Savannah, supply lines, hampering opera- field changed the course and that I sang in church when I was packed visitor center, the then Charleston and Camden. scenery, is home tions, causing chaos. psychology of the entire war. Children: Amos, Matteo, Virginia a child. In my small village, I sang 845-acre park feels more like a They were convinced the war to one of the most The British army moved out of these songs, and not very much in Studio and live albums include nature preserve than a tribute was in their pocket and thought Surprise the Carolinas and into Virginia, tune” back then, he added lightly. “Viaggio Italiano” (1995), “Aria: The to American history. the guerrilla warfare in the instrumental When Tarleton caught up to where they surrendered at York- Notably, during this most diffi- Opera Album” (1998), “Sacred Arias” And yet, this battlefield, sur- rural colony backcountry was battles of the Morgan, he expected an easy town in October 1781. cult year of COVID-19, quarantin- (1999), “Verdi” (2000), “Cieli di Tos- rounded by a variety of trees nothing to worry about. victory. He underestimated the In addition to a picnic area ing, and social distancing, Bocelli cana” (2001), “Sentimento” (2002), and stunning scenery, is home In January 1871, the colonial Revolutionary way the men of Morgan’s army and battlefield loop, the park addressed his choice of the great “Andrea” (2004), “Amore” (2006), to one of the most instrumental population loyalties were split, knew their geography, and how also boasts a museum that con- song “You’ll Never Walk Alone” for “Under the Desert Sky” (2006), battles of the Revolutionary causing deep conflict and ten- War. hard they were willing to fight tains a reproduction 3-pounder “Believe.” “Incanto” (2008), “Vivere Live in War. The Battle of Cowpens, sions between neighbors and for their land. cannon and an hourly view- “Many people know this song Tuscany” (2008), “My Christmas” fought in January 1871, turned sometimes even families. Both Knowing Tarleton had little ing of the film “Cowpens: A (2009), “Concerto: One Night in Cen- from the soccer,” he said (it’s the the tide of the war and paved Patriots and Loyalists orga- Armies during the Revolutionary respect for the American Battle Remembered,” anthem for the Liverpool Football tral Park” (2011), and “Sì” (2018) the way for the Patriots to vic- nized militia, turning against War often fought on roads. The militia, Morgan orga- and a 3.8-mile auto Club). “But in this case, the song tory at Yorktown. one another with force and nized his troops into loop road that out- For his album “Passione” (2013), Battle of Cowpens was fought has another completely different We pulled up to Cowpens devastating their countryside. three lines on the rich lines the perimeter of collaborated with Jennifer Lopez and along the Green River Road. meaning for me,” said Bocelli. “In Battlefield in late September, pastureland meadow. the battlefield. Nelly Furtado NPS this album, it was important to admiring the many trees that He placed his artillery As we sat in the have a song speaking to the people For “Manon Lescaut” (2014), worked were just beginning to turn in the middle and his field, munching on alone—just to say, ‘Nobody is alone. with Placido Domingo and Ana Maria color. We parked our car and dragoons on either side. cheese and crackers, There is somebody with us who can Martinez unloaded our two toddlers, Lt. Col. William Washing- watching our girls as help in every situation. So be posi- wondering how much history ton’s cavalry surprised they collected fallen Website: AndreaBocelli.com tive. Be optimistic.’ This is the sense we could soak up with Tarleton and sent the Portrait of leaves and sticks, we of the song for me in this context.” children in tow. British dragoons scatter- U.S. general reflected on what might “Amazing Grace” is another de- The battlefield and park are ing. When Tarleton sent Daniel Morgan have happened in the lightful surprise on this new al- amazingly child-friendly. We his 71st Highlanders to- (1736–1802) war had the militia not bum. To perform this well-loved had a picnic lunch under some ward the line, Morgan’s by Charles been willing to step up Christian hymn, Bocelli collabo- large trees and open pasture troops reformed, devas- Willson Peale, and defend their land.