Th e student newspaper of Imperial College London
Issue 1,381 felix Friday 5 October 2007 felixonline.co.uk
Inside
Freshers’ Fair montage PHOTOGRAPH BY IMPERIAL COLLEGE BY PHOTOGRAPH
Pages 10 & 11
BookCrossing across the globe
Page 14
Dour festival
Pages 20 & 21
A sprinkling of flour mixed with global warming
Imperial gets political Sir Richard Sykes meets Prime Minister Gordon Brown, see page 3 Page 27 2 felix Friday 5 October 2007
News News Editor – Andrew Somerville [email protected] Council nominations are now open If you want a say in debates about Union policies, stand for a position on Council and get yourself heard
Tom Roberts Editor-in-Chief Council at a glance
On Saturday 29th September the nom- What is it? inations for positions on the Coun- Council is a committee that cil committee and the Trustee Board meets every month to discuss opened. There are 16 positions open student issues and vote on on Council and another two places on Union policies. Decisions the Trustee Board. Undergraduates made will affect your life at and postgraduates are both eligible to university. stand for election between now and Sunday 14th October when nomina- Who can attend? tions for both committees close. Everyone! The more the better. Council is a well-established and long running committee that meets Who is on the Council every month to discuss and vote on committee? Union policies. Anyone can turn up It is led by the Council Chair, to the meetings and voice their views. Mark Mearing-Smith. There Policies can be offered up for discus- are lots of Officers of the sion at Council by any Full Member of Union and the remaining 16 the Union. That means you, me and spaces will be voted for and everyone else. Students at Imperial are taken up by Full Members of automatically Full Members. You can he Union (regular students) opt out of this membership if you re- during October. ally don’t like the Union, for whatever reason you can come up with. What can Council members Council’s philosophy is that any stu- do that regular people can’t? dent can raise any point that they deem They can vote on whether necessary for the Union to discuss. Union policies should be Formally, the process of discussion is passed or not. brought about by submitting a written report to the Union during the week How exciting! Can I stand for before the actual Council session. This nomination? gives the other members who’ll be at- Yes! Head to www. tending a chance to read the report in imperialcollegeunion.org/vote preparation for discussion and dissec- to put yourself forward for tion come the day of the meeting. Council in session three years ago in the Union Dining Hall (UDH). The first meeting of 2007-08 is taking nomination. Most of the major changes in the place in the UDH on Monday 9 October. Nominations are open now, get your bums on those seats! Union from previous years were dis- cussed at Council. For instance, it was decided by a vote at Council last year Council meetings will take place in election, head to www.imperialcol- vote of approval to say that you’re fit to with Council membership. that a referendum for NUS (National the Union Dining Hall every month this legeunion.org/vote. Council is in the take up the position. Once you’re past A similar process is in place for those Union of Students) affiliation should year, the first of which will take place process of appointing students from this stage and through the other side of wanting to get a position on the Trus- be held. The vote was passed and the on Monday 8th October. The commit- each Faculty Union. Undergraduate the nominations phase, you’ll have to tee Board. The Trustee Board is the subsequent referendum saw Imperial tee is chaired by Mark Mearing-Smith. and postgraduate positions need to come up with a manifesto to tell people highest body in the Union and it has rejoin the NUS. Other reports tabled He is joined by various Officers of the be filled by Sunday 14th October, oth- why you’re fit for the role. Once you’ve the final say on any decisions. It’s in- and passed last year included an en- Union, such as the Faculty Union Pres- erwise the Union may find itself in a done this, you’ll have to make a short tended to be less of a discussion forum vironmental policy that ensures the idents and the chairs of the many sub- rather embarrassing situation and have speech at hustings and after this you’ll compared to Council but if you’re feel- Union does its bit to help curb Climate committees within the Union. to re-run the election. be questioned by a bunch of hacks. ing bold enough to have a say in some Change and a couple of comedy poli- However, there are many positions If you decide that you want to run for Once this is finished voting will open potentially highly important decisions, cies such as the ‘Mike the Micrometer’ available to regular students. The election, you’ll need to get four of your on Friday 26th October. It closes on this is the committee for you. to sit on. policy which banned students from nominations for these positions are friends to “second” you. In other words, Tuesday 30th October and as long as There are two positions for any Full stealing the Union mascot. now open, so if you want to stand for they need to go online and give you a everything goes well, you’ll be awarded Members of the Union to stand for.
Felix, Beit Quad, Prince Consort Road, London felix 1,381 SW7 2BB. Tel: 020 7594 8072. Fax: 020 7594 8065. Printed by The Harmsworth Printing Ltd, 17 Brest Road, Derriford, Plymouth. Registered newspaper Friday 05/10/07 ISSN 1040-0711. Copyright © Felix 2007.
Felix was brought to you by:
Editor-in-Chief Rosie Grayburn Fashion Editor LOLCATS Tom Roberts Caz Knight Sarah Skeete David Paw Deputy Editor Sports Editor Alice Rowlands Music Editors Jovan Nedić Jenny Gibson
News Editor Matty Hoban Food Editor OF TEH WEEK Andrew Somerville Hannah Theodorou Welfare Editors Layout Editors Nigel Cooke Photography Jemil Salami Kirsty Patterson Vitali Lazurenko Sumera Shahaney Sally Longstaff Murray Angus Nightlife Editor Josh Levine & PhotoSoc Greg Mead Tom Roberts Science Editor Greg Mead Ed Henley Film Editor Alex Casey Special thanks to Business Editor Alex McKee Afonso Campos Games Editors Greg’s girlfriend Marie Azfarul Islam Rebecca Coxhead Arts Editors Sebastian Nordgren Matty Hoban, all the way Mike Cook Matty’s Aunt Marion Friday 5 October 2007 felix 3 [email protected] News Prime Minister visits IC BBC interviews Brown comes to College supporting the creation of the IC IC students over Healthcare NHS Trust which launched on the first day of term Oyster debacle Andrew Somerville and two highly regarded NHS trusts: St Last week Deputy Rector Prof. Sir News Editor Mary’s and Hammersmith Hospitals. Leszek Borysiewicz was announced The resulting “Imperial College as Chief Executive of the UK Medical VITALI LAZURENKO Gordon Brown spent time at Imperial’s Healthcare NHS Trust (ICHNHST) Research Council (controlling an an- South Kensington campus on Wednes- will be the UK’s biggest, incorporating nual research budget of £460m), and day in his first visit to a UK university five hospitals: Hammersmith, Charing on Monday Prof. John Beddington since becoming Prime Minister in Cross, St Mary’s, Queen Charlotte’s & was named as Sir David King’s succes- June. Chelsea, and the Western Eye. sor as Chief Scientific Adviser to the The PM, accompanied by Profes- The merger will also create the first Government. sor of Surgery Lord Darzi and Rector Academic Health Science Centre This string of appointments and Sir Richard Sykes, toured the newly in the country, aimed at integrating mergers cements Imperial’s position formed Institute of Biomedical En- healthcare services with state-of-the- at the heart of governmental scien- gineering in its second high-profile art medical teaching and research. Ac- tific research, especially in medicine, visit recently after being opened by the cording to current estimates, the trust but comes at a time when government Queen earlier this year. will have a turnover of over £750m and policy in the Department of Health is Lord Darzi was Chair of Surgery expects to treat one million patients a increasingly under fire over issues in- at Imperial until he was recently ap- year, and will be managed by current cluding rising Private Finance Initiative pointed as Parliamentary Undersecre- Principal of the Faculty of Medicine of (PFI) costs and rock-bottom morale tary for the Department of Health by Imperial College, Prof. Stephen Smith. within the NHS. Lord Darzi currently Gordon Brown, and pioneered the use Orchestrating this merger and crea- has the difficult task of convincing of robotics and virtual operations in tion of the ambitious new centre of doctors that such high-profile NHS minimally invasive surgery which was medical excellence was one of Lord decisions will in fact improve health- Ashley Brown cradles a giant invisible hotdog during his interview at the centre of the visit. Darzi’s first duties as Undersecretary, care services, whilst facing a medical The stopover is timed to coincide and his appointment was the first in a climate of cynicism and desperation with Monday’s launch of the merger of rapid succession of governmental po- over the perceived privatisation of the On Tuesday afternoon, mid-way renew their student Oyster cards. Imperial College Faculty of Medicine sitions given to senior Imperial staff. NHS. through Freshers’ Fair, one of the BBC’s The BBC became aware of the com- outside broadcast teams came to Im- plaints after a 12 month-old comment perial to interview students, whose thread on the Live! website became IMPERIAL COLLEGE Student Oyster cards had ceased to active once again. Dismayed Student give them discount rates, live on BBC Oyster card users were complaining London News. of a range of problems including being Live! Editor Ashley Brown and last overcharged, being charged twice and year’s Deputy President (Graduate being totally unable to get hold of an Students), Shama Rahman were in- official application form. terviewed and asked to talk about the Since the BBC ran the story, TfL has broken and frustrating system for reg- released an apology, commenting that istering for a student Oyster cards. it is “working hard to urgently resolve” The Transport for London (TfL) the problems. website has been heavily criticised this If you are having difficulties with week, after many students have been your Student Oyster card, or you can’t left with no option other than to pay get hold of one at all, TfL recommends full fares on the tube because the reg- that you contact them during off-peak istration system was full of bugs and hours. Their ears are ready for a verbal Artist’s impression of the NHS merger. He/She’s apparently a little too literal crashed often, leaving them unable to battering before 10am and after 4pm.
The reality of Southside LIVE.CGCU.NET A few days after Felix’s tour of Falmouth-Keogh, the freshers arrived. They weren’t the only things moving-in that weekend
Tom Roberts Selkirk and Tizard, and since residents a view of the Eastside builders’ porta- Editor-in-Chief have moved in it has become apparent cabins. Incidentally, since last week’s that these halls were still several days tour, College has covered the portac- The new intake of freshers arrived at from completion. abins with a giant dark blue and green, Imperial on Saturday, however, even In the early hours of Saturday morn- leafy cover. though the majority of the students ing, College staff were still working to The ongoing works being finished on would be paying over £150 per week, get the halls ready. The situation was Southside seem to have had differing many moved into unfinished rooms. so dire that College staff were joined effects on students. Many were so over- College recognised this was unaccept- by kind-hearted students who volun- whelmed with actually starting univer- able and soon announced it would be teered to help. sity they didn’t seem bothered with the giving Southside residents a 25% dis- Some kitchens were full of tables ongoing work. Others have expressed count on their first month’s rent. stacked on top of each other and chairs dismay at moving into an unfinished Just a few days after Felix’s guided wrapped in protective plastic. Lamps, room, such as student, Azfarul Islam, tour of Falmouth-Keogh – one of the toilet fittings and other items sat who said he was “frustrated” that his three halls within Southside – it be- boxed and dormant in the corridors. room is without an internet connec- came apparent there was plenty yet to The builders’ tools were still lying in tion still, something that would come be completed compared to what was various rooms and some bedrooms in quite handy to use when it comes to on show before the freshers moved even had plastic sheeting covering the doing some work. in. Despite builders and cleaners scur- windows because the curtains hadn’t The lift in Falmouth-Keogh is work- rying about on the day of Felix’s tour, turned up. To add to College’s woes, ing again however and Southside every room in Falmouth-Keogh ap- the lift in Falmouth-Keogh which was should be finished in its entirety dur- peared to be in working order. working perfectly well during Felix’s ing October. At the time, it was known that the tour subsequently broke down. social room would be incomplete when College recognised the shambles that How did moving into halls go the freshers arrived, and Felix was also many new students would be moving for you? Did any problems arise? told that there was work still to be into and issued residents with a 25% Are you satisfied with your hall done on the kitchens, along with gen- discount for their first month. This of residence? Felix is going to be eral cleaning in and around the halls. comes on top of the £5 per week dis- interviewing freshers soon. Email Felix was unable to gain access to count that some residents will be get- [email protected] if you want the other two halls on the day, namely ting if they are housed in rooms with to be heard. One of the over subscribed, luxury en-suite, deluxe, premium rooms 4 felix Friday 5 October 2007
Comment, Opinion Let us know your views: [email protected] Letters may be edited for length and grammar purposes & Letters Views on these pages are not representative of Felix Imperial College of Banking
his week has been rela- statistics – are on the latter. would be largely bullshit. You’re doing a wind farm, or adopt a small Ethio- tively quiet, in the world Now, as you know, nothing makes it so you have a comedy-charity-dona- pian cow, or use energy-efficient paint of A. Geek. A few com- me happier than idiot magnets, as it tion-cheque-sized pay packet to cover on your bedroom door and things like plaints, the occasional lec- not only increases the odds of a gas up any shreds of self-respect you may that, and slowly become right-wing T ture, the ever-encroaching leak finally doing some good, but also have showing. That’s fine. We all do as you realise the government is tak- shadow of Boris Johnson’s magnificent allows me to avoid a higher propor- things that are a bit silly because of our ing most of your hard-earned… well… A. Geek rear end. One thing did get me though. tion of fuckwits during the week than I crippling sense of personal failure. For earned cash. And that’ll be that. A friend of mine – we’ll call him E, might normally do by simply not going instance, the other day I realised that Or is there something more to that because it has nothing to do with his to the Union. no-one was taking me seriously, so I lecture course you took on immunol- name whatsoever – asked me to ap- However, having so many compa- decided to run for London Mayor. The ogy? Is there some truth in what that ply for a bank internship in his name. nies leeching off of a college that is, difference here is that, whilst I’ll lose PhD student told you about the impor- Think about that for a bit. for some subjects at least, in the top the vote due to my tricky policy on Un- tance of research? Sure, it seems bor- Now, E isn’t the sharpest nail in the ten worldwide, raises some questions derground elevators (if someone is on ing now. And it’s definitely very poorly coffin of my sanity, but he’s hardly a for me. Most prominently, “Are we the left, and moving slower than you, paid. Plus, even if you escape Imperial, bastion of friendliness and co-opera- completely screwed as a species, if you’re legally allowed to throw them you won’t escape the feeling that every tion either, so I did the socially respect- our brightest minds are going to milk off the side), the long-term effect is just scientific institution has – that unset- able thing and ignored his request reli- money out of Hong Kong all day?” But that I’ve got a failed attempt to enter tling air of homework. And probably, ...so I did giously until the bastard went away. also secondary, more article-extending politics on my Mi5 file. Whereas you’re the idea of a moral duty to study rats Little did I know it was the Money- ones, like “What exactly are you look- adding yet another five-foot seven col- in a laboratory somewhere is laugh- the socially bags Conference Fortnight, sponsored ing to compensate for with a fifty thou- lection of genitalia to Canary Wharf’s able to you. But while you’re applying by Two Short Planks, PLC; yes, that sand pound salary”, or “Are you looking already massive pile of schlongs. alongside E this week for some faceless respectable thing cheery time in the Imperial calendar forward to the 2011 currency crash”, And to you, obviously, this means management firm, consider this – if “ where seventy percent of you admit and my favourite, “Please just leave very little. Because you’re only one you don’t go and move green pieces of and ignored his you couldn’t give a monkey’s toss about my course right now, you shits” which, person, you’ve only got one vote, you’re paper around, some other jerk will step science, and would rather have cloth while not actually being in the form of only driving one car (until Goldman in and take your place. But if you don’t sacks with dollar signs on thrown at a question, is probably the most press- Sachs recruit you, naturally) and you use your intellect to further our under- request until the you to sit in front of Excel spreadsheets ing of all. can only have one job. Why shouldn’t standing of the world, no-one will. And until the guy above you dies, or you I’d say that I didn’t know why you you get the best for yourself? That’s in this day and age, the world could bastard went commit seppuku at the fruitlessness of were doing it, but that – like Goldman what life’s about, we do live in Amer- probably do with being understood a away it all. My money – and current national Sachs’ recruitment presentation – ica, after all! And you’ll probably buy little better. ” Mr. Nice can get all the girls
AskMen complains: as emotional (or not) as any other man The “nice guy” never shows the nice guy and the guy who gets the girls. “The modern man walks around on from any other decade. slightest lusty interest in the girl. Some guys just do something about it! eggshells, afraid of saying the “wrong Sure there might be a lot more bad So, all you newbies who had your eye thing,” scared of showing his natural chat up lines, bad dancing, increased The “nice guy” waits too long and on some hottie at the Mingle, or any sexual interest to a woman, scared of criticism, a faster paced lifestyle and dithers too much about telling the girl. of you “nice guys” reading this, go out being scorned, humiliated, or even fired an attitude to work over life. Work and be a real man, ask her out, trust – scared of his own true self” over marriage. Work over children. The “nice guy” finally plucks up the me, it works. So, women have made the “effemi- Work over anything else that exists in courage when the girl has given up and nate man” when really they want the this entire earth... but if you want to see has gone for the... other guy. Priya G “real man”? a real man, go and take a look at the An apology I’m afraid where me and AskMen much overlooked “nice guy”. So what’s my definition of a “real Last week’s Timeline article part, is in our definitions of a “real But you’ll complain that the “nice man”? stated that patio heaters man”. guy” never gets the girl. So I’ll tell you A man who will treat a girl right. A would be used in conjunction Modern man isn’t something differ- why: man who tries to understand. And he’s with the new Union awning. In ent to “a time lost” when man was a a man who cares and does something actual fact, patio heaters will confident sexual being, protecting his The “nice guy” seems just too nice to (underlined many times) to show this. not be used. Felix is sorry is home, his woman and hunting. be ever bothered in the girl. In one word: Action. It’s that simple. not getting any milk this week. He’s as selfish, as testosterone filled, That’s the only difference between the
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Friday 5 October 2007 felix 5 Picture of the Week Spirit, by Hannah Theodorou want to exhibit your art. Send in photographs. We [email protected] pfli\m\e`e^
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PflËi\`em`k\[kf1 Ê8e ;Xk\ Kl\j[Xp(-k_FZkfY\i K`d\ -1*'gd M\el\D\ii`ccCpeZ_#)B`e^<[nXi[Jk#<:( ?fjk\[Yp:_i`jk`Xe;`e\j\e#DXeX^`e^;`i\Zkfi# ?\X[f] 8cck_`j#Xe[k_\\okiXfi[`eXipDiIl]lj ?fle[kff% =`e[flkdfi\Xe[i\^`jk\ifec`e\Xk dc%Zfd&ZXi\\ij&\lifg\ dc%Zfd&ZXi\\ij&\lifg\ D\ii`ccCpeZ_`jXe\hlXcfggfikle`kp\dgcfp\i% Friday 5 October 2007 felix 7 Business Business Editor – Afonso Campos [email protected] Tanaka holds roundtable discussion Felix attends an idea sharing event and talks about industry, academia and the television show Dragon’s Den Afonso Campos Business Editor More than fifteen pioneering figures and frontrunners of the industry- meets-academia world got together at the Tanaka Business School board- room for an extraordinary roundtable discussion organised in conjunction by “The Engineer” magazine and the Sainsbury Management Fellows’ So- ciety in late September. Among the attendees were CEOs of tech start- ups and established industry leaders, venture capitalists, senior academics and researchers liaising with industry and other senior level management. Among the companies represented were BT, BAE Systems, National In- struments, Durham Scientific Crystals and Surrey NanoSystems. The SMF is a society that aims to find the best and most capable engi- neers with a strong entrepreneurial and leadership bias and offer them bursaries to pursue MBAs at the top schools the world over. Upon finishing these courses, the brilliant individuals become fellows of the Society and have unbridled access to top-level mentor- ing, networking events and career advice. The aim of this roundtable was not necessarily to tackle specific and con- stricted ideas but instead, to open a The roundtable discussion held in the Tanaka Business School was attended by companies such as BT, BAE Systems and National Instruments forum where thoughts could be pre- sented and discussed without stifling. Beneath the slightly corporate feel of participants at the table were all too tion in industry can, in small measures, seemed to bother most participants may argue that taking these approach- the event, something much greater clearly aware of this and did their part be a good thing, a mediatic overex- is the undeniable fact that there is still es keeps the supposed “sanctity of sci- took stage; the passion the participants to make sure that everyone surround- posure through popular mainstream some unjustified resistance on the part ence”, they forget that the goal of sci- had to to push the limits and bounda- ing them appreciates how paramount shows like ‘Dragon’s Den’ or ‘The Ap- of some academics to integrate this ence is much greater and noble; that ries of cooperation between academia this drive is. prentice’ can actually have quite ad- world of tech transfer. is, to increase in any way possible the and industry. While passion is clearly Possibly the most important issue verse effects on the industry. One of It seems as if some purists prefer to quality of life of every soul on this important, unfortunately, it yields tackled was the future of this co-oper- the main issues comes in the form of keep their findings exclusive to sci- planet. disappointingly intangible and mean- ation between industry and academia; recruiting. ence and refuse to make them part of For the number of questions original- ingless results. This passion needs be who is best fitted to take positions of Some of the industry leaders present this domain where they can actually ly posed to the table for open debate, a coupled with the drive to take some leadership in this realm of so-called mentioned that after some of these get projects implemented and seen to great multitude of questions arose for pretty extravagant theories and ideas tech transfer, and how to find the peo- shows they experienced a “non-desira- completion. On another part of this further discussion. The nature of these and see them through to a completion ple who can make this process more ble” increase in numbers of applicants spectrum of backwards thinking, some questions prompted an interest from stage where they can actually make a organic and ubiquitous. for advertised positions. It may sound academics keep their discoveries in ab- all participants to sit down together significant and real impact. From eve- While the was general consensus was paradoxical that an increase in appli- solute secrecy with the hope that they again some point in the close future. rything that was said and discussed, that an increased awareness of innova- cants is seen to be a negative issue, but might one day be able to find an appli- It is events like these that question if this increase is exclusively derived cation for them and consequentially, the current state of things and perpetu- from mass applications of under-quali- not share the limelight (read: prestige, ate our quest for evolution of thought. fied applicants lured by the prospect of money) with another soul. Needless to They are a cry, and a loudly voiced a quick buck and immense riches, one say that neither approach benefits so- statement, connecting some and re- can start understanding how this can ciety at large in any way possible, and connecting others with the urgency of possibly be. much less the scientists behind these doing and thinking something really Even though it was only very briefly ideas. different – no matter how wild it may touched upon, something that also While the defendants of this camp at first seem. The Apprentice...... and Dragon’s Den. Two shows which have led to a “non-desirable” increase in numbers of job applicants unionpage Freshers’ Fair 2007 Freshers’ Fair is the biggest and most it provided an exciting important event of Freshers’ Week for the insight into what our Union. Over 6000 students fl ock to the Clubs and Societies event that sees all our Clubs and Societies actually do. showcasing what they do and ultimately encouraging the new and returning students Again this year the to join up. RCC organised a rotating climbing wall This year was our biggest Freshers’ Fair ever in Beit Quad, over 100 Alistair Cott and I would like to offer my thanks to all the people had a go with Deputy President Clubs and Societies who came and made some proving more (Clubs & Societies) the day the most vibrant Freshers’ Fair that I successful than others! [email protected] have ever been to. Special recognition must also go to all of our red t-shirted volunteers Moving over to the who came to help and make the day run so Queen’s Tower the tours went well with smoothly; without them the Fair could not helpful volunteers leading up several groups happen. and giving them unique view over London. Whilst below on the Queen’s Lawn the The day started early for the team with media societies provided great entertainment setting up all the stalls being the fi rst job of and atmosphere. the day. The event had over 300 tables in total, which began to be populated by Clubs Most importantly however all the Clubs and and Societies from 10am and by 11am the Societies that I managed to speak to during Fair was in full swing. the day had signed up over a hundred people to their mailing lists, this bodes well for We were all worried about the weather; there another record year for our student activities was a wet weather plan in reserve just in programme. This, of course, is the key part of case a sudden downpour decided to appear, Freshers’ Fair, bringing together all our Clubs luckily it didn’t drizzle for too much of the day, & Societies for one day to showcase each of and when it did it didn’t seem to dampen the their unique activities. spirit if the day. So, now you’ve seen all the Clubs and All the different areas had a different feel to Societies that the Union has to offer, it is up them with the Great Hall, Upper Dalby Court to you to join them and relieve the stress and the Marquee buzzing all day. The stage from your degree! Don’t forget you can join in the marquee was a massive success and online now at imperialcollegeunion.org. what’s this trustee board? stand! The Union Trustee Board is the Council & Trustee Board Elections 2007 governing body of the Union and consists of the President, Council Chair, Court Chair, 4 student trustees and 4 lay members who Places are available for both Undergraduate and are not members of the Union Postgraduate positions from Engineering, Medicine & but have expertise in areas such Natural Sciences faculties plus non-faculty positions. as health and safety, fi nance and management. The Trustee We are also looking for two student members of our new Board meets roughly six times Trustee Board. per year to ensure that the Union is being run well and it does Look online for more information at imperialcollegeunion.org/ this by scrutinising the work of elections the Council and the Executive Committee. Nominations close 23:59 Sunday 14th October Imperial College Union, Beit Quadrangle, Prince Consort Road, London SW7 2BB imperialcollegeunion.org Tel: 020 7594 8060 Friday 5 October 2007 felix 9 Science Science Editor – Ed Henley [email protected] Braving a new world: Michio Kaku In his new programme Kaku, soothsayer extraordinaire, outlines what to expect from future technology Edmund Henley these advances; he is keen to stress that Science Editor though many technologies may prove beneficial, others raise concerning is- If you’ve never heard of Michio Kaku, sues. As well as inherent risks – nan- you probably will soon, as he’ll be otechnology and the “grey goo” scenar- bringing his impressive new series Vi- io, he pays close attention to the risks sions Of The Future to our screens, posed to the structure of society. courtesy of the BBC. Felix has sneaked In a discussion on robots and emo- a peek at the first three episodes (The tions, and our tendency to project the Intelligence, Biotech and Quantum latter onto the former (“because they Revolutions respectively) and can listen so well”, as one pundit puts it), highly recommend catching these, and Professor Susan Greenfield mentions the rest of the series when it airs in No- an experiment she performed on a vember – this author certainly will be. group of 8 year-old Australians. When Although he presented a documen- asked if they whom they would prefer tary (Time) on BBC 4 last year, Kaku to keep their best friend or to swap is probably better known on the other them for QRIO, an all-singing all- side of the Atlantic, where he is recog- dancing humanoid robot, the choice nised as a prolific and talented popu- was unanimous. And yet the accom- lariser of science, despite a background panying footage of QRIO makes one as an academic in some of the more think it wouldn’t always be a bad deal. esoteric realms of theoretical physics. Certainly not for one’s duller friends. In his new programme, Kaku dons Greenfield raises another more seri- his futurologist hat and takes the view- ous concern later, pointing out that the er on a whirlwind tour of the state of “problems of colonialism in the 19th the art in science and technology, and century may pale in significance to […] the implications advances in these the differentiation of people into the fields have for the future of the society techno-haves and the have-nots.” Al- they underpin. though a well-worn argument, and al- His central thesis – that the public ready an issue for much of the world’s needs to become aware of the extent of population, it gains a new significance these advances, and to debate the prac- when watching this programme: even tical, moral and even existential ques- viewers from techno-Babylons like Im- tions they give rise to – is well-served perial could find themselves on the los- by the structure of the programme. ing side if they do not always submit to Kaku’s broad-brush approach allows Kaku and a rather Tron-ified ASIMO. Getting the robot to strut his rather simpering stuff was apparently no the cutting edge of technology – how him to expose the interdependence of easy task, but the Honda engineers succeeded. Shake, shake, shake that (ro)booty do you fancy your chances in exams advances in many disciplines, such as where fellow students have chip-en- computing and biotechnology. hanced memories? There’s something in each episode to future technologies will affect our per- A good example of this is in the sec- condition was genetic, so their doctor The series is not entirely without satisfy a wide range of audiences. Kaku ceptions of the human condition, such ond episode: Kaku introduces the well- mooted gene therapy as an alternative. flaws: gratuitous shots of Kaku walk- can clearly gain unparalleled access as a discussion on how space-elevators spoken parents of Alexander Locke, Dr. Gaspar explains they cultured bone ing spring to mind. Even though MIT to institutes at the forefront of their built from nanotubes will provide us who explain that as a baby he suffered marrow stem cells from Locke, using may be more attractive than Imperial, fields, and this provides plenty of gee- all with a truly planetary outlook; and from what was eventually diagnosed as a virus to introduce a working version surely it’s not worth marathon-length whizz moments, such as seeing a func- occasional barrages of clips from clas- Severe Combined Immune Deficiency of the gene into the cells, which were perambulations? And rather more ir- tioning windpipe, grown from cultured sic films – A for Andromeda and that (SCID), commonly known as the bub- then reintroduced into the child. The ritatingly, the turnover of science foot- cells on a matrix which can later be ab- stalwart workhorse, The Day The ble-boy condition. Those afflicted have relief with which the parents explain age occasionally borders on the relent- sorbed by the body, or when he shows Earth Stood Still, amongst others. no protection against bacterial, viral or the dramatic improvement in Locke’s less. Surely the public’s attention span a working example of a metamaterial, Too much of this is guaranteed to fungal infections, and bleak prospects condition is palpable, and makes this is not that poor? Nevertheless, these an “invisibility cloak” for microwaves. repel the average viewer, but Kaku – few outlive their first year. Replacing case a highly engaging example of how are minor quibbles; the programme is The science-fiction crowd gets plen- deftly avoids this by including plenty of Locke’s bone marrow, to allow a new cutting-edge research can affect ordi- well-worth seeing. Make sure you do! ty: wild-eyed speculation about the human-interest stories, illustrating the immune system to grow was ruled out, nary people. future, often courtesy of gurus such impact a particular technology has had as no suitable donor could be found. Nor does Kaku shy away from dis- Visions Of The Future broadcasts as Ray Kurzweil; philosophising about on someone. Fortunately, Locke’s version of the cussing the double-edged nature of in November on the BBC Songbirds, sticklebacks and Swedish tardigrades: this week’s hella mashup Ursula Skohpe vision. Recent research on adult garden were due to the same diet as modern Accordingly, as part of the FOTON- warblers has suggested it’s the latter. fish. They find that a change to a diet M3 mission mentioned last week, a Magnetic vision in migratory birds A research group from the Univer- found near the bottom of lakes pre- team led by Ingemar Jönsson (Kris- Certain migratory birds are known to sity of Oldenburg, Germany, exam- cedes an increase in the spiky armour tianstad University, Sweden) set out to use Earth’s magnetic field as their main ined the interconnection of molecules of the fish by about 100 years, sug- see if they could survive in space. means of orientation for their journey, known as cryptochromes, found in gesting the fish had to rapidly evolve Their experiment, dubbed TARDIS but the precise mechanism has been retinal neurons and thought to be able to adapt to their new environments. (how big is the inside of a tardigrade?) unclear. to sense the magnetic field direction, A later shift to a diet from shallower exposed one set of dry beasts to both One hypothesis has favoured a new and Cluster N, an area of the birds’ waters is taken as evidence supporting the effects of the vacuum and solar ra- magnetic sense, mediated by magnet- forebrain which is highly active during the view that the previous change to diation, and the other set merely to the ite, another has suggested it’s linked to magnetic orientation. a high-armour body went against the vacuum. Results are due in soon... They found the retinal neurons and Not that fish, nor those sort of gradient of natural selection, so when Cluster N were linked via a visual chips. But these ones taste better possible, the change was reversed. pathway known as the thalamofu- gal pathway. They suggest this means It’s cold outside... these night-migratory birds perceive affecting its evolution, usually a hard Fortunately, tardigrades can’t scream. the magnetic field as a visual pattern – task according to Purnell et al., who say And besides, famously, no-one can they can “see” it. attempts to determine if changes in the hear you in space. But if the partici- animal’s body are due to changes in its pants in a recent experiment come Fish and chips feeding habits risk becoming circular. out with their lives, one imagines they By looking at chips and scratches on Their findings, published in Science, would be protesting volubly. the surface of 10 million year-old fos- compare the fossil chips and scratches Despite being naturally aquatic, sil stickleback teeth, researchers from with those of present day stickleback these invertebrates (0.1-1.5mm long), Leicester and Stony Brook (USA) have (both lab-based and wild), as the marks were selected to be astronauts au na- Chirpy chappy: Sylvia Borin been able find direct evidence for indicate the type of diet the fossil fish turel, as they can survive intense cold A dehydrated tardigrade. Thirsty introduces himself as Magneto changes in an animal’s feeding habit would have had, assuming these marks and dehydration. business, space travel. Poor thing 10 felix Friday 5 October 2007 Freshers’ Fair Tuesday 2nd October 2007 Spotted yourself? Want one of the photographs? Email: [email protected] Friday 5 October 2007 felix 11 Photographs by Sally Longstaff, Tom Roberts and Vitali Lazurenko 12 felix Friday 5 October 2007 Culture & Arts Editors – Mike Cook, Rosie Grayburn, Caz Knight and David Paw Budding culture vulture? Write for us The Arts [email protected] The circus comes to town The ENO’s latest production leaves David Paw unmoved and unimpressed Only after you’ve sat through the flam- her not to reject her she refuses, cul- boyant dances, the council estate cat- minating in a dramatic finale. fights, the wraithlike chorus of school- Carmen’s main strengths lie in its children in ghostly white, the preening music and narrative – the score was transvestite dancers flexing their bi- tempered well and was on fine form, David Paw ceps and the breakdancers, does the and the vocal performances were Arts Editor ENO’s newest incarnation of Carmen memorable only for Katie van Kooten’s begin to take shape. But only just. powerful Micaela and Julian Gavin’s elcome to another The filmmaker Sally Potter (Orlando, heroic performance as Jose. Alice shiny new edition The Tango Lesson) was brought in to Coote, as Carmen, was undermined by of Felix Arts. As breathe new life into that most famil- a screeching chorus of streetwalkers autumn draws in iar of operas and that most eternal and (painful) or an incoherent production W and the prospect of iconic of femme fatales. It was always that eliminated four of the original’s increasingly longer nights looms large, going to be radical, with injections of dances. When Carmen says she will what could be better than immersing street tango from choreographer Pa- dance, she appears redundant when yourself in the capital’s arts scene? blo Veron and set designs by Es Dev- she does not. Frasquita and Mercedes, Our city is blessed with one of the lin, who has worked with Kanye West Carmen’s underlings-cum-friends and most vibrant arts scenes in the world. in the past, amongst others. But while fellow maneaters, looked similarly ri- London will always feature on any top it certainly had the potential to be ex- diculous – how seriously can you take ten list of galleries/museums/gig ven- citingly fresh yet still bring down the these characters when they look like ues/whatever anywhere you would house with that power that only opera they wandered off the set of a Shake- care to mention.The city has somehow can bring, it focused far too much on speare’s Sister music video? found a new vitality and optimism the “exciting” , letting the music lag It was difficult to devote full concen- that is reflected in the wealth of tal- and introducing far too many con- tration to the story – the circus had ent and potential brimming in venues flicting elements for an audience to literally come to town and there was and rehearsal studios from Hackney to comprehend while trying to follow the far too much distracting the viewer’s Hammersmith. show simultaneously. attention from the main characters. ENO’s title character from the opera Carmen Speaking of which, with the excep- Let us recap – Carmen follows the When you weren’t watching the stub- tion of this year’s freshers, who will story of its title character, a fiery street- born Alsatian or the shimmying danc- have more than enough to occupy walker who captures the heart of Jose, ers seductively sashaying across the ity with a few simple touches would and his partner Lucila Cionci were themselves with in West London, the here a security guard. After a tete-a-tete stage, you were watching the break- have more than sufficed. For example mesmerising in dancing their passion- thing I hear the most from people is “I with another girl, Carmen is brought dancers throw huge power moves let – originally Jose is a soldier and his ate and pure tango. The opening of the want to get out of West London. I want in an Jose told to guard her – he lets alone following what was going on desertion to be with Carmen makes it third act worked very well, with the to explore more of the city – I’m living her escape and goes to prison himself with the main characters. all the more dramatic. The impact of a glimpses of a security guard’s dancing in London and I want to take advan- for his error. When Jose re-emerges, he Though Potter clearly wanted to in- security guard quitting his job to warm feet tapping across the screen gradu- tage of it”. swears to devote his existence to Car- troduce elements of celluloid into the his evenings with a colourful tempt- ally expanding to show a tunnel in pro- The problem is, where to start? The men. However, when he receives word mix with an introductory sequence of ress is less convincing. A police officer file. These were the moments when the capital is a vast place and the amount his mother is on his deathbed, he re- voyeuristic real-time CCTV images would have been simpler and more ef- director’s vision paid dividends. Potter of things to do on offer can be over- luctantly tears himself away from her. projected onto a thin screen while we fective, though you can imagine it be- stated, “there is a paradoxical freedom whelming. Picking up a copy of Time When he returns, Carmen is on the watched the actual characters behind, ing turned down on the grounds of be- in working with a classic – it has been Out is always a great start, as is check- arm of Escamillo, his love rival and a it became meaningless given the rest ing far too safe, far too obvious. done and will be done so many times ing listings on the internet. celebrated matador on his way to an- of the story had so little to do with its There appeared flashes of inspira- that a potentially radical approach With a little persistence and perse- other glorious bullfight – Carmen has origins. There was simply far too much tion however, rare moments when the cannot possibly harm it”. She obviously verance it will become easier to pick grown tired of Jose’s petulance and focus on producing something radical, director’s vision worked – Habanera had the opera’s best interests in mind – out the main venues or hotspots – say, jealousy by now and though he begs something visionary, when simplic- was suitably electrifying while Veron pity she forgot about the audience’s. Hoxditch and Hackney in the east, Clapham in the south or Camden in the north. A common caveat is distance – why trudge across town to go to a theatre when you could just walk down to the Lyric to see a play? Quite often the crowd and the people attending in dif- ferent areas of the capital varies greatly, and the things on show can vary wildly as well. The atmosphere is often very different as well – why limit yourself? Getting out and exploring the city you live in always requires an initial effort but it is one that pays dividends. This week’s arts section sees the second part of the Culture Crawl, this time tackling London’s galleries – even with the number stacked on the page, there were still several excellent galler- ies omitted, not to mention the mul- titude of microgalleries proliferating across the city. Caz Knight has her perceptions of musicals altered by an excellent pro- duction of Parade, while Mike Cook gets stuck into a book of experiments and comes out alive. Finally with the arrival of a new sea- son at the English National Opera are my thoughts on the company’s radical production of the classic Carmen. As evening fell across the West End and I walked towards the Coliseum and its grand facade and uplit columns, I was glad that even as the tempera- ture dropped and the layers were piled on, those long nights were good for something. Friday 5 October 2007 felix 13 [email protected] Arts A soundtrack to die for in Parade A guilt-free musical with all of the flavour and none of the calories? Caz Knight is pleasantly surprised Parade, a musical based on the book by Aldred Uhry, had all the odds stacked against it for a good review. Not only was it being seen and reviewed by one who cares not for (the often cultural absence in many) musicals, but the plot seemed one of far too sombre and heavy a topic to be presented with mu- sical accompaniment. Parade follows the story of the Leo Frank case, one of the most closely followed in its time, incurring much ‘yellow journalism’ along the way. Set in 1913 Atlanta, Georgia, Frank is very much a fish out of water living in the South whilst being Jewish and Ivy-league educated. Superintendent of a pencil factory, Frank is given the death sentence after being convicted of the murder of little Mary Phegan who worked for pennies at his factory. Frank’s case carries on long after his incarceration with an appeal to change his sentence after much effort on his Parade is that rare creature – an enthralling musical that manages to incorporate a thrilling soundtrack with a stunning emotional gravitas wife, Lucille, and eventually the Geor- gian governor’s part. In history, the up- shot is a life sentence in lieu of hang- Shaun Escoffery deserves a special thew Price blows us away and has our were songs of beauty that had me on shock factor. The recreated hanging ing. However, Parade gives us a much mention as the character of Negro Jim neck hair standing and does a good job the brink of tears on several occasions in the play is extremely convincing more grizzly ending. Conley, allegedly in the factory at the of the three roles he takes on. Although (rather embarrassing as I am not aware and reminds one of recent events in Bertie Carvel carried out the role of time of the crime. A huge contrast to several actors have been singled out, of the rules on crying in theatre!). Of Bath, during the Jane Austen festival, Frank stupendously. His character as Leo in disposition, Jim testifies against the cast was brilliant; their energy and Parade’s thirty odd songs there were where the public expressed disgust at the neurotic, highly strung and snooty him in the case. Not just a pretty face enthusiasm really makes the show. very few I disliked. the highly realistic mock gallows in the factory owner, complete with manner- and well-structured physique, Escoff- Being one who considers most mu- The whole package is completely town’s centre. isms that were maintained throughout, ery has an outstanding voice and por- sicals with disdain, it is a credit to the uncheesey (as in the case of some of This musical gives us something to was superb and utterly convincing. We trays the charismatic Jim with ease. calibre of the music if I was left want- the more “commercial” musicals). It is cover every emotion: love, sadness, are drawn into Leo’s turmoil as we feel Exceptional casting with regards to ing Parade’s soundtrack for my own a musical with depth or grown up mu- anger, injustice, mystery, humour and immense pity for him. This pity turns murder victim Mary Phegan; the ac- listening pleasure at home. The music sical, but with none of the fun or enter- above all it gives us an awesome and into elation as Leo’s stress develops tress’s blonde pig-tailed hair, blue eyes and songs clearly dominate the pro- tainment value extracted. The gravity highly memorable night out served into happiness and a rekindled love and doll face eerily reminds us of little duction but the continuity between of Parade’s subject matter is eased by up in a small, but infinitely more inti- with Lucille. Carvel’s voice is easily one Maddie Mac. songs, scenes and even moods is seam- the musical element but in no way de- mate setting than perhaps some of the of the best and he exhibits great tal- The introductory song of Parade is less. The music ranges from uplifting tracts from this portrayal of the Frank larger theatres. And it has converted a ent during the dance scenes (of which performed by one of the best, in my melodies to ones of sadness and ones case - a key event in U.S. legal history. musical-hater. To miss out would be there are disappointingly too few). opinion, voices of the cast. Stuart Mat- of great power. Amongst the show The play even adds a slightly macabre foolish. 14 felix Friday 5 October 2007 Arts [email protected] A starter’s guide to BookCrossing Free books, but with a scavenger-hunt twist. Michael Cook has what you need to know to get started Crossing now How to Fossilise Your Hamster Mick O’Hare Brand new companion to the other New Scientist bestsellers Does Any- thing Eat Wasps and Why Don’t Pen- guin’s Feet Freeze, this book contains a huge assortment of experiments that can be carried out with virtually noth- ing. Check out our coverage of the book this issue. Travelling – Monday 8th October The Ladies of Grace Adieu Susanna Clarke A collection of curious short stories containing, amongst other things, Mary Queen of Scots, faeries, and very strange owls. Grace Adieu is an enter- taining collection of fairy-tale-esque stories that, whilst sometimes over-se- rious, are otherwise very enjoyable. Travelling – Tuesday 9th October Old Shite’s Almanac A. Parody Parody’s work always seems to be try- ing too hard, but the Almanac’s a pret- ty fun diversion – a tongue-in-cheek collection of topical, not-so-topical, and essentially useless information about the year just gone. Sometimes very funny, sometimes not, but always amusingly surreal. Travelling – Wednesday 10th October ear Reader”, the blurb immediately to the Arts section, very simple to start a journey your- none of them were registered on the begins. “I hope you enjoy where you absorb their well- self. Simply register the book with the website. But the messaging is just the this book. I’ve registered respected opinion on the site and they’ll give you a unique code icing on the philanthropic cake – free it on Bookcrossing.org latest releases of the high and a little message to leave on the in- books were given, reading was done D so that I can keep track society, and nod sagely at side front cover (which we’ve printed and a good time was had. Coming soon of where it travels and what people the words of their attrac- above). Tell them where you’re going Now, Felix gets a lot of books. We re- The Mission Song thought of it. You can log in online and tive and well-endowed to leave the book, and when you’re view some, put others in features, and John Le Carré leave your thoughts, before passing it editors. roughly going to put it there, and just many we give away. This year, though, on to another reader.” And that’s about There are two things at play here, follow the timing. we’re going to BookCross them. They’ll One of Carré’s latest novels, it has all it. that the founders of BookCrossing More often than not, the books are be left at various places on campus or the intensity that you’d expect from the Underneath, in her trademark spidery noticed. Firstly, that people will read taken but not registered. Because nearby landmarks (the Albert Me- ex-Mi6 agent-turned-author. Bruno handwriting, is the book’s registration almost anything if it’s free. Secondly, they’re more likely to be found by non- morial, or the museums for instance, Salvador is a world-class interpreter code. It’s Bookcrossing, summed up that sharing our opinion about books Bookcrossers, the idea of registering which are popular with other local that’s no stranger to doing clandes- simply, in its best and cleverest con- is great fun, for both the writer and the can be quite daunting, and doesn’t im- BookCrossers) and they’ll all be regis- tine work for the British Government. cepts. Free books. Sharing. Travel. reader. After all, we’re not doing Felix mediately appeal to the average reader. tered on BookCrossing.org. That’s free But his latest assignment goes beyond for the paycheck. books, most of which are freshly pub- what he is normally used to – identity So what if people just left books lying lished, ready to be picked up by willing changes, shady corporate deals, and “BookCrossing is around for others to find? Giving books “Books slowly readers! mysterious encounters with attractive away for free is friendly, stops dusty We’ll post our releases in Felix as we nurses. Meaty, but good – for fans of simple. You find piles of paper building up in the cor- travel the country decide on them, but to get up-to-the- The Constant Gardener. ner, and adds a bit of excitement into minute information on the releases the book, read it the day for those that find them. Book- or globe, picking you’ll need to sign up with the site. To GOD – Man’s Loving Enemy Crossing only marginally extended the see what we’re putting into the wild Adam Bolton and review it on idea of giving books away, by adding in up opinions as this week, and what we’re planning to a secret ingredient. A massive game of give away soon, check out the box on Felix Arts was given this by one of the website” hide-and-seek. they go.” the right. our Comment writers, but we’ve been It’s very simple – you sign up to BookCrossing has a thriving com- told not to spoil the surprise of what We read a lot of crap. There are a few BookCrossing.org and subscribe to But sometimes you’ll be lucky, and munity that share book reviews and it might be, so instead we’ve got a joke reasons for this. Firstly, crap is cheap. whatever regions you’re near to. Ken- start off an entire chain of reviews as stories of Crossing success, and while for you. A bear walks into a bar, and Crap is 45p on a newsagent shelf, or a sington, for instance, is going to be eas- a book travels from person to person the alerts system isn’t always entirely goes up to the barman. “I’d like a Gin.” £3.99 paperback sandwiched between ier for you to visit and pick up books and country to country. accurate (we’ve had a lot of alerts that The barman begins to pour it, but the memoirs of page three girls and Z-List in than somewhere in Oregon. Then, Take the friend who’s given me my were three weeks late), there are a lot bear holds up a claw, and he stops. rugby players, and containing some- BookCrossing tells you when a book is latest BookCrossing book, for instance. of releases in the Kensington area, “And tonic.” thing bizarre about a loveless ex-po- going to be released in that area. Her profile has one particular book ranging from classic fiction to cook- “Why the big pause?” the Barman says, liceman on the run to clear his name If you find the book (hints are left that made nine journeys before coming books. It’s a novel way to experience and the bear shrugs, and replies, “I was or something. on the website to help you), you read to a rest. She gave it to a colleague in new books, recycle old ones, and have born that way.” Reading crap is also fun, though – JK it, review it on the site, and pick an- the bookshop where she works – from yourself some very childish sort of fun It’s the way I tell ‘em. Rowling was hardly TS Eliot, but her other place to leave it in – which in her, to her sister. To her boyfriend. To whilst doing it. writing was fun enough for people of turn notified everyone else subscrib- someone he met in France. To another If you’re BookCrossing in this area, Delete This At Your Peril all ages to read. But sometimes, we ing to the area you’re leaving it in. The friend – and each one of these left their get in touch with us and keep us in- Bob Servant have to avoid rubbish and go for some- books slowly travel the city, country or messages on the same web page, letting formed about your releases – if we can, thing meatier. Something more enjoy- globe, picking up opinions as they go others see where the book’s been on its we’ll put them the paper alongside our A great compilation of email corre- able. Not boring, necessarily, or three and often creating stories about their travels. own. If you’re not BookCrossing, get spondence to Internet spammers. Gen- inches thick. But good. journey. Not everything is so successful. A started now. We’ll be giving away a lot uinely funny, and hopefully all true, Fortunately, this isn’t too hard – for And if you find yourself with books month ago, I left six books in a cafe. this year, and it’s the only way to get Felix Arts will hopefully review this in instance, you pick up Felix and flick you no longer want to hold onto, it’s They were all gone within a week, but your hands on it! the near future. Friday 5 October 2007 felix 15 [email protected] Arts Putting the pop into Pop Science New Scientist’s books are back – it’s out with Q&A, and in with Fizz, Bang, Wallop, says Michael Cook s students at an all-sci- ence and engineering in- Conclusive results stitution – and one that, let’s face it, doesn’t ex- A actly shirk on the work- load – we have something of a burden Our favourite experiments from the book of knowledge when it comes to science , technology and engineering in the The “Ho! What Devilry Is This!” Do-it-yourself-cloud-chamber Trick public arena. Hopefully, most of us can sit through a Die Hard movie without A two-litre drinking bottle, a little bit pointing out how unlikely most of the of water, and a match. Fill the bottle a events are. But when it comes to books little with water, then light the match. and television on so-called ‘popu- Blow it out, and (very) quickly drop it lar science’, it’s hard to take a lot of it in the bottle, screwing the lid on tight seriously. just after. The first thing that should make you Squeeze the bottle four or five times, sit up and listen about How To Fossilise and a cloud-like vapour will begin to Your Hamster is the simple white let- form inside the bottle. It’s mesmerising tering at the top that spells ‘New Sci- to watch – you’ve just created a cloud entist’. You know then, at least, that it’s chamber. And better still, squeezing not going to be another Channel 4 ‘un- the bottle tight makes the whole thing biased’ documentary on global warm- disappear temporarily. ing. If you don’t read every copy of Most Likely To Impress – Harry Pot- New Scientist you can get your hands ter fans, provided you wear a hat. on, you’re missing out. But New Scientist’s previous offer- ings in the stocking-filler books de- The “Bad Science, Good” Implausible-yet-awesome-liquisolid Trick partment haven’t exactly been grip- ping. Their last two books, Why Don’t This one really messes up any concep- Penguin’s Feet Freeze? and Does Any- tion of materials you might have had. thing Eat Wasps? were packed full of For this, you’ll need 300g cornflour really interesting questions previously and 250ml water. Mix it up in a bowl or published and answered in the fort- saucepan. Keep mixing. Keep mixing. nightly periodical, but they were, on Eventually, you’ll find it too stiff to mix the whole, just a bunch of questions. any further. What they needed was something Now stop mixing, and tip the bowl more visual. More exciting. In short, into another container. The entire mix- what they needed was a method for ture will have become liquid again. extracting iron from crushed Kellogg’s The real fun starts once you find Frosties. a hammer or a large brick wall. The Alright, that wasn’t exactly what we whole soup becomes more plastic the needed from a book (though it’s one of more it is exposed to intense force. the most bizarre and absorbing experi- Shattered bits of the mixture will even ments in the latest release). But it’s one liquefy and join together again. of the many crazy experiments con- Most Likely To Impress – Anyone who tained inside that really make this book thought that melting bit in Terminator a stand-out among other similar titles. 2 was cool. So, basically everyone. By retaining the cool, clear and col- lected New Scientist style, but throw- ing in a bag of tricks that would make The “It’s David Bowie! Hey, Man!” Alka-Seltzer-lava-lamp Trick Paul Daniels jealous, Mick O’Hare and his team have created a compendium Fill a two-litre water bottle – they’re of brilliant experiments. cheap from the JCR – three quarters And, in true New Scientist style, full with vegetable oil (yes, after you’ve everything is clearly explained, too. So First lines taken the water out) and then pour a you’re not simply shown how to make little water in. Use some food colour- fried eggs turn green (they manage to “Experiments are what makes ing if you’re feeling particularly flash. do it without using eggs they forgot Then get an alka-seltzer tablet and about for five weeks, too), but you’re Science tick. Observing, recording break it into eight pieces or therea- explained how this process takes place, bouts. Drop a little bit in. and where to go if you’re interested to and observing again have taught The tablet falls harmlessly through learn more. the oil, before reaching the water and The experiments are, on the whole, us everything we know about our reacting. Globs of water, propelled by very fresh and extremely simple. You carbon dioxide, rise the oil and when can make mouldable plastics with just universe and the world around us.” they reach the top, the gas escapes, and some milk and vinegar or measure the the water descends again. Awesome. speed of sound with a hammer, and Most Likely To Impress – People from many of you will be pleased to know cially fun to demonstrate in front of realising that we’d like to get hands-on the seventies. that a good deal of the experiments others – one involves a pear and an ap- with popular science, instead of sitting involve alcohol of some form (want ple, and allows you to completely dis- through another episode of Horizon to know why beer doesn’t froth up if tort your guinea pig’s sense of taste – about bionic pet monkeys. The “Ripley? RIPLEY!?” Alien-egg-in-a-jar Trick you pour it into a wet glass? This is the and if you brush up on your knowledge With sixty-odd experiments in the book for you). of the science behind it, some of them book, it seems well worth the price An empty glass jar, cleaned out and full Admittedly, there are some you’ll can become truly geeky party pieces tag given that most of the experiments of vinegar. Plop an egg into it – don’t have seen before. A few will no doubt (see right for our favourites from the require no extra materials at all. If you make the mistake we did and choose bring back dire memories of Year Sev- book). enjoy the writing style, the other books an egg too big, or you’ll spend five min- en science lessons – celery with food Popular Science books quite rightly in the series are similarly-priced and utes pouring vinegar all ove r yourself colouring, anyone, or can we all re- garner quite a bit of scorn from some of worth reading, but O’Hare’s latest is while you try to pry it out. member how plants drink? – but the Imperial’s masses. But a book like this clearly the best of the bunch. After a couple of days, the entire of book isn’t entirely for science students, is a hell of a lot cleverer than a retelling Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to the shell will have disappeared, the egg so some of the experiments are kid- of the Big Bang with topical political brutalise some Frosties. will have swollen to a massive size, and friendly too, and even these are often jokes thrown in. They’re not going to taken on a ghostly, pale appearance. It’s good fun, such as the urine-based ex- help you an awful lot with your course, How To Fossilise Your Hamster is quite disturbing, but also very cool. To periments which never fail to entertain but they unveil the mysteries behind being published for New Scientist some people, at least. at parties. But most of them are spec- some conundrums that you may never by Profile Books, and will cost You can even reverse the effect if tacular enough to show off to friends have quite grasped – indeed, some that around £7.99. We’re bookcrossing you’ve got the right ingredients – – firing the lids off of film cannisters, you may not have even realised existed one copy at Imperial during though of course, the shell doesn’t or making sparks with just an envelope at all. October – see our article this return. and a dark room. And so in that respect, it’s a great suc- week for more information or surf Most Likely To Impress – Let’s face it, Some of the experiments are espe- cess on New Scientist’s part – finally to http://www.bookcrossing.org. no-one. 16 felix Friday 5 October 2007 Arts [email protected] The Great Culture Crawl Chapter Two – Galleries National Gallery and National Portrait Gallery, Trafalgar Square Probably the most-visited gallery in the capital, the National Gallery is a powerhouse of Western Euro- pean Art, running the gamut from Impressionism and Da Vinci, Rembrandt to Van Gogh, Turner and De- gas...the list continues almost infinitely. To venture here would require at least an afternoon and to brave the carnage of central London - not to mention the masses of tourists than find their way here - but the gallery is more than an appropriate slice of the capital’s cultural wealth. Immediately adjacent on Charing Cross Road is the National Portrait Gallery, showcasing past masters and some of the best contemporary portrait photography in London; though it’s larger sibling is far too large for a quick look, the National Portrait Gallery is a welcome interlude to the rush of the West End. Royal Academy of Arts, Piccadilly The Royal Academy is housed in the grand Burlington house, minutes from the quiet avenues of St James and Mayfair. One of the oldest institutes and galleries in London, don’t let the Royal Academy’s rarefied image put you off - it regularly plays host to excellent world-class exhibitions of painting, sculpture and antiques. Cur- rently showing is a retrospective of the German artist George Baselitz, spanning his early days to the period of motif-heavy and “upside-down” paintings for which he became renowned. The academy only relatively recently recognised enfant terrible Tracy Emin’s work, introducing the likely notion that this instituion is finally becoming more open minded. Burlington house is located across the road from the station, under the arches - just look for the red flags. Tate Britain, Millbank This underrated space on the north bank of the Thames houses the national collection from the 16th century onwards, with works by masters such as Constable, Gainsborough and William Blake alongside more contemporary upstarts (it houses the finalists from the annual Turner Prize). It displays a diverse array of British art from Hockney to Howard Hodgkin to Brian Hawe’s display in Parliament Square. Talks and events are regularly held here and every first Friday of the month sees Late at Tate, with performances from live bands and the clink of glassware chiming through its sweeping corridors. It also houses a monumental display of works by Turner, bequeathed by the artist to the nation as a parting gift - an explosion of colour worth the trip to Pimlico alone. The museum is located around the corner from Pimlico station - just follow the signs. Friday 5 October 2007 felix 17 [email protected] Arts Written by David Paw, designed by Rosie Grayburn White Cube, Hoxton Square In the heart of hipster central, the White Cube is as synonymous with Hoxton as skinny jeans and its namesake haircut, and fittingly shows similarly eclectic works of art from new and up-and-coming artists. Housed in a 1920s light industrial building in the square, it has far fewer exhibitions than other galleries in the capital - as few as two at a time - but those it chooses to display are consistently of a high standard and with 2000sq feet, it can afford to really dedicate its space and focus entirely on the artists exhibiting. Showing now is “American Tan” by the painter and sculptor Gary Hume, a response to the “America and how we’re all being tanned by American policy and culture, the war and simple, complicated stuff like that”. Focusing on the plasticised, overpolished image of the cheerleader, Hume creates a powerful take on contemporary American culture. Though leaning towards the precious at times, the White Cube is nonetheless an important player on the capital’s art scene and neatly slots into a day spent wandering the streets of Shoreditch. Whitechapel Gallery, Whitechapel High Street One of the first public galleries in London, the Whitechapel Gallery is excellent for both its international collections and its great focus on local projects and Asian exhibitions, as well as diversifying into film and music. Showing now is American artist Sarah Morris’s sixth film, Robert Towne, based on the legendary Hollywood director, producer, actor and writer. Pano- ramic cityscapes meld with mesmerising white lines and circles, set off with an undertone of corporate conspiracy and corruption. The gallery is due to double its space in 2008, which will bring welcome space to its cramped galleries in the shadow of the city. Tate Modern, Bankside This incredible space on the South Bank is justifiably one of the best galleries in the world. Architects Herzog & de Meuron transformed an empty shell into a brooding behemoth with innovative exhibitions that only the massive space its turbine hall affords and tiny enclaves scattered throughout the gallery that encourage you to pause to think and take it all in. And is there a lot to take in - as its namesake suggests, it houses a gargantuan array of some of the world’s best contemporary art. Particularly good are its surrealist and impressionist collec- tions. Also excellent is its collection of abstract expressionist works - don’t miss the power- fully atmospheric room dedicated to Rothko. Consider taking in the rest of the South Bank on your way out. Saatchi Gallery, South Bank The Saatchi Gallery charges admission - not great for your stereotypically impoverished student - but is worth it to see the rich array of work from the famous and infamous. Many works you may have read about falling into the latter category will be housed here - the gallery is strong on YBAs and you will find Hirst’s powerful - and now rumoured to be leaking - formaldhyde displays, including the showstopping tiger shark encased in unadulterated three- dimensional glory. Also present is Tracy Emin’s controversial “My Bed” amongst other pieces, and a strong collection displaying the best of American artists now. Oft overlooked for its larger stablemates, the Saatchi punches above its weight. Afterwards consider popping into the County Hall, which houses the 3000 sq foot Dali Universe and an ongoing exhibition of works by Nasser Azam. You can also reach the gallery from Westminster tube. Next Week – Theatres Oli Calderbank and Mat Allinson, Chemical Engineering and Materials freshers Got what it takes to pose somewhere higher than the 100 metre high twins managed? [email protected] Photograph bySally Longstaff 20 felix Friday 5 October 2007 Music Feature Editor – Greg Mead [email protected] Dour Festival wins hands down Oceans of Belgian beer, an awesome lineup, great food and the most friendly crowd we’ve ever met makes Dour our pick of the summer festivals this year. Felix checks out the acts at the 19th Dour Festival in Belgium which after ten years of going to festivals, was one of the very best we’ve seen. Awesomeasaurus-rexicals Honey Munroe (Photos by GREG MEAD Greg Mead and M-A) No matter how objective I try to be about this, reading this article is going to be all about how great this festival was. In all honesty this was one of the best festival experiences I have had for a long time and I just cannot say enough good things about it. That is not to say that there were no bad aspects, and I shall not be leaving them out, but over- all these felt like small inconveniences in light of the entire experience. So first things first, a few years younger that Pukkelpop, Dour was set up in 1989 and had over 140, 000 peo- ple with just 6 stages and 225 bands. It is spread over four days and I think that is what gives the festival such a unique feeling of adventure and of last- ing memories in that the extra day ce- ments your new friendships and new- found love of the festival. You know your way around and all that is left to do is to spend all your food and drink tokens and to have an awesome time! Much of the festival is staffed by volun- “In all honesty this was one of the best festival experiences I have had for a long time” Justice: Two hot Frenchies, some music and a lot of love teers and this year especially they tried to do their best to encourage recycling The one thing you need to know houses in the middle distance and for- yourself what ticket you have and get bit flat. and for people to leave their camping about this festival is that it is FAR. And ests and high trees out to the horizon. in line. Sounds a bit like an arbitrary At Dour they were not only crowd fields as they had fond them. by that I mean, FAR from where the It is beautiful and quiet and nothing statement but you would not believe pleasing and entertaining and I don’t This year was notably the first year coach drops you and pretty far from like home! the chaos caused by the staff not be- think they played one duff tune. That the festival site itself had far fewer chill any town where you can buy stuff. When you get to the main site you ing properly briefed as to what was go- is not to say I can remember more than out zones or shady lanes for avoiding When you get off the Eurostar you get need to pay a great deal of attention ing on and the subsequent panic that one or two things they played anyway, sunburn and on the whole I think that a train and when you get off the train because no one seems to know what is seemed to ensue, even though one but I certainly can remember that I the general consensus from the festi- you get a coach and when you get off going on so look for signs that direct could actually just look around with didn’t stop dancing and neither did an- val goers was that they needed them the coach you walk, dragging all your you to where you pick up your ticket by one’s own eyes and make a pretty good ybody else in the crowd who cheered back. The festival was roasting, even stuff what seems like an eternity to the using your common sense. I.e. there is guess as to where you need to go. The and laughed and by all accounts had a on cloudier days so do not forget your main site. The walk from the coach a line of booths and each have a picture incompetence of the entrance staff was great time, rocking on till 5 am culmi- hat, sunglasses and most importantly takes you through an agricultural farm of a ticket with a sign for one, two, and almost unbelievable and the ticket pick nating in a Bugged Out set from British your sunscreen. land with lots of huge barns or ware- three or four days camping, so just ask up had obviously been designed by a superstar Erol Alkan. drunk, but at least the pictures were As is usual with European festivals dotted around were self explanatory the stages are less full and the crowds MARIE-ALICIA enough. Not really an ideal situation more relaxed and certainly that was no and very frustrating if you have been less true here at Dour, but what made travelling for over 24hours already and Dour so fantastic was that the crowds just want someone to know how to had so much energy and enthusiasm. show you where your camping is. A little too much enthusiasm at The A beautiful site, set between two hilly Club Arena dance stage where it wa sloped fields with great food and re- so packed you just couldn’t enjoy the ally well thought out stages and tents, awesome green lasers or sound as the again, almost all without exception masses distorted the bass fuelled PA were bigger and better than those at and to be honest, the sardine packed British festivals and the Dance arena crowd couldn’t be justified as his set was a wooden floored fabulously lit was too minimal and repetitive. and very long, big marquee which from Hot Chip were not only over-hyped about 8pm was a banging club. but awful and their only hit was ad- One of the most amazing nights at hocly rearranged into a totally tuneless Dour was in that very tent with an ultra and undanceable mish mash blatently pimped line-up which for me, culmi- redone on the fly. nated in Justice. Tonight the Frenchies DJ Shadow was packed and actu- had their finest hour and they were ally delivered as his unmistakable style warmly supported by fellow peers Busy drew crowds that packed out his arena P, Uffie and Feadz, Sebastien and DJ so as to be a part of the action, with Mehndi. Having seen Justice a fair few people climbing up the pillars all the times now they can be either the best way to the tent roof, much to the an- thing you’ll ever have been wastedly noyance of the security. Uffie, hitching a ride on Mehndi. Anyone for Vodka? Busy P lubricates the crowd dancing your night away to, or just a The first night in the Dance Arena Friday 5 October 2007 felix 21 [email protected] Music was seen in by Digitalism and Motor, GREG MEAD and needless to say drugs abounded as people were popping their way to an all time high. It was a massive rave up but nothing like the chavvy, freaky Rom- ney marsh type raves of Britian. . One thing that made this festival so individual was that unlike at Reading, where you watch your favourite band headline then soon after have to head for your tent as the site shuts down, here everything went on till 5am so it “It was nothing like the chavy, freaky Romney Marsh type raves of Britain” was like being able to see your bands headline and then go clubbing after- wards, except you rarely had to move more than a few feet to get to the next sexy little piece of the action. This festival is certainly the place to be to see bands that the more commer- cial or mainstream festivals leave out. Bands such as 65 Days of Static head- lined the ‘Little House on the Prairie’ stage on Saturday night and if you are a major geek you will be pleased to know Mertzbow got a slot mid-afternoon. Mertzbow were, in my humble opin- ion, God-awful. The sound of mas- sive iron drills raping a steel furnace of molten androids is not something I call music. Moving on, I was most im- pressed at getting to see Sun 0))) early evening, and their mesmerizing eerie Another night, another rave. View from stage during Justice set was a real highlight. Dressed in huge hooded hessian cloaks and totally faceless in the void like blackness of different. By the third day there was a stream like forks of gunge festering out in order to get to their camping area. A Oh Dour festival if you were a man I’d the stage, the sounds were like that of cess pool draining out of one group of into the site and pray that God does jolly good laugh if ever I’d had one. never leave your side. Good people take mechanical drips down iron wells and them by the second stage that smelt so not choose now to demonstrate his Oh the sunsets and fresh air, oh the note, this year the festival sold out a shipwrecks lurching to the call of time bad I wanted to kill myself every time sense of humour by having you slip. spit roasted chicken and salad, oh the week before opening it’s gates and next with their watery ghosts thousands of I walked within 50 feet of it. The only That said the Belgian’s organising the awesome bands, oh the awesome DJ’s, year it is gearing up for it’s twentieth leagues under water. thing to do was to check which way the event definitely have a barmy sense of oh the lovely PR staff, the friendly se- anniversary. So, do one thing before fi- Ok, so onto the portaloos. These wind was blowing and make sure you humour as all press were expected to curity, the laid back atmosphere and nancial burdens and responsibilities of are usually the worst aspect of any faced the other way as you held your squeeze behind a load of portaloos and all the really cool fantastic British and life murder your youth, get a ticket to festival, and to be honest this was no breath and delicately skipped over the through a gap in the fence behind them other assorted nationality people I met. Dour festival! Sunn O))) don’t smoke the reaper. Clockwise from top left: 65 Days Of Static shortly before destroying the stage. Cowbell player from Motor. Get a PC next time 22 felix Friday 5 October 2007 Nightlife Nightlife Editor – Greg Mead [email protected] The Mingle. We’re going to need a montage. Ooh it takes Gregory Mead Nightlife Editor a montage. Hellamashup o doubt you’ve all set- tled into college now, The first event of the year at the Union. Felix went to corrupt the freshers, drink the and everything is going swimmingly, you’ve at- cheap booze and got right up there in Peaches Geldof’s face with the telephoto lens N tended those introduc- tory lectures, you’ve registered and that giant student loan has come through to your bank account, which means just Gregory Mead one thing. Spend it, who cares about accommodation and tuition fees, you So, you’ve just travelled 500 miles with can worry about those when you’ve got all your Godly possessions, for the last no money left. ten hours you’ve been fretting about Are you in these photos? This week we’ve dedicated the night- finding your new halls of residence, life section to a photo montage from getting your room, unpacking all your The Mingle, so if you see yourself just boxes, and more importantly, trying Email in to win two tickets to Fabric email into nightlife.felix@imperial. to get rid of your parents. It’s the first ac.uk and you can win two tickets to and probably most stressful day of your Fabric on any night you want. So do it! university career, so what better way to I don’t have much to say this week complete it but to go an all night hella unfortunately, except to say that we mashup that was The Mingle at The still have loads of competition prizes Union on Saturday night. to give away, just check the box below Having been to numerous for more info and how to enter! Union events over the last three years, I seriously suggest you enter these we weren’t expecting anything like competitions, you have an almost 100% what greeted us on entering. chance of winning since only about Glowstick wielding nu-rave- two people ever enter at the most. An- hoodie wearing teenagers jumping other thing we need people to do is around to the sounds of Daft Punk and become writers and reviewers for our LCD Soundsystem was not the first section! This is essential to maintain thing that crossed my mind when try- a broad range of interests and to stop ing to imagine what this night was go- the reviews just becoming my personal ing to turn out like, but that’s what was music blog. happening in the large marquee in Beit I know my taste in music is absolute- Quad almost the entire night. ly amazing and perfect, but not every- The Mingle was reserved for freshers, one agrees with this and if you happen so almost everybody there was either to be one of those people then you are a first year or a hall reap/sub-warden, welcome to write for our section. In and it showed. Pitchers of snakebite return we will give you unlimited free and rivers of beer meant that all but drinks, free entry to the club nights the most ultra reserved students were and backstage access at your favourite partying like it’s 1999. The atmosphere events. Email us at the address at the was infinitely better than I’d expected top of the page for more information. and I almost felt as carefree as one of We also need a co-editor for the pag- them jumping up and down in a giant es, if you’re interested in editing peo- circle on the dance floor singing along ples articles and doing the graphic de- to ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ sign for the page then give me an email The night featured two rooms. DB’s or come and visit us in our office in the was hosted by Adventures In The Beet- west wing of Beit basement, you don’t root Fields, who host a regular alterna- need any prior experience but you tive night at Fabric in Farringdon, for need to be able to dedicate 5 or 6 hours which we have written numerous good a week making the pages and contact- reviews in the past. The bands were ing PR companies. That’s it for my ex- good too, and made a change from lis- tremely boring editorial this week, just tening to mediocre student bands who make sure you enjoy the remainder of look totally out of place at such a large freshers events happening at the Union event. Look out for upcoming gigs in and around London very well established clubnights such as DURRR and White Heat from all the bands that played on Saturday. For me, the large marquee in Beit Competitions Quad was the main attraction of the It’s still not too late to win last night. Electro and Indie hits blared week’s prizes. We have: from the DJ booth to a packed crowd of revellers. This was the first time I Two Fabric double passes for have ever witnessed a crowd surfer at 24th, 25th and 26th October. Imperial College Union, so that should give you an idea of what was going on. Two tickets for The End for Peaches Geldoff was the guest DJ, for Laylo & Bushwaka on 6th Oc- the night, and to be honest I think the tober, and copies of both their girl playing before and after her was albums which they will be re- considerably better. She can’t mix and leasing on the night. chose a stupid selection of cheese hits that seemed to dull the dance floor at Three double passes for Turn- what should have been peak time, al- mills at their Halloween special though in conclusion, I think this was on 27th October. the best Union event I’ve ever been to, so we’ll have to see if the Freshers Ball Email: 2007 on Friday turns out to be as suc- [email protected] cessful. Incidently, email in if you see yourself in the pictures to win a prize. Friday 5 October 2007 felix 23 [email protected] Nightlife news reader. news maker. Citi Corporate Presentation @ Imperial College Citi is the most complete financial partner to individuals, corporations, financial institutions, institutional investors and governments in the world. Our Markets and Banking division is a global leader in banking, capital markets, and transaction services, with a presence in many countries dating back more than 100 years. Citi is committed to attracting and retaining the best talent for our Analyst and Summer Internship Programmes. We believe that the strength of our business lies with the quality and diversity of our employees. Our strong relationship with Imperial College has afforded us the opportunity to attract some outstanding students into our business. If you are interested in full time and summer internship opportunities or are just curious to meet with us and find out more, then please come along to our corporate presentation: Date: Wednesday 9th October 2007 Time: 6.00 pm Venue: Citigroup Centre, Canary Wharf, London E14 5LB Sign-up: To sign-up for this event please email [email protected] stating Imperial Presentation in the subject box. We look forward to meeting you! © 2007 Citigroup Inc. Authorised and regulated by the Financial Services Authority. Citi and Arc Design and Let’s Get It Done are service marks of Citigroup Inc. Citigroup Inc. is an equal opportunity employer. Friday 5 October 2007 felix 25 Film Film Editor – Alex Casey [email protected] Clarice, the vigilante It’s all a matter of Jodie Foster returns to the screen in a role made for her, proving she’s still the thinking woman of Hollywood. And she kicks ass individual tastes Good and bad taste are used so much in everyday context that it would seem The Brave One ★★★★✫ like somewhere there is a list of things that fall into each category and cannot Director: Neil Jordan Writers: be switched no matter how much we Roderick Taylor, Bruce may want dungarees to be good taste. A. Taylor Cast: Jodie Foster, Terrence But who is the arbiter of taste these Howard days? The truth is that the notion of taste itself should be rendered defunct. If Alex Casey one person’s treasure is another per- Film Editor son’s garbage, surely we should come round to the belief that everything has Since premiering at the Toronto Film something going for it, and better to Festival, this despairingly titled film focus in on that than whether or not has drawn endless comparisons with someone’s opinion is more justified Taxi Driver in both theme and a little than somonene elses. But that’s a bit lady called Jodie. Only she’s not so little idealistic, and the majority of us would Cinema: Have your say anymore and it’d be too easy to say the say that we hold opinion very dear to theme of a vigilante is given the same ourselves. treatment here as Scorsese did in 1978. Everyone’s a critic. It would be So what if you don’t love The God- So why do people insist on rating a film slightly pedantic if every time you pro- father? No-one set it in stone that you like this only so far as how it compares fessed an opinion on your favourite have to, and why shouldn’t you get the to someone else’s film 30 years ago? film or band you had to buffer it with chance to voice such an opinion over The story focusses on Foster’s char- “but that’s just my opinion and I com- the mass consensus? Justification for acter, Erica Bain, a radio presenter pletely respect yours as well”. A much any point of view is all you need to whose show is an ode to her home, more common scenario would just be present a good argument, so if you have New York City, until she is brutally as- a simple “no, you’re wrong, it was aw- something that you’d like to present in saulted with her fiance in Central Park ful”, when in fact right and wrong could such a manner, then Felix can give you in a scene that is far more realistic and be no further removed from the issue the perfect platform. shocking than De Niro’s shoot-out in in hand. Now that you’re had a chance to set- Taxi Driver (the last comparison I’ll What does, in reality, mke a film good tle into the new academic year, wheth- make on that score). Looking to regain or bad? Well, performances would be er you’re a fresher or a returning stu- control of her life, she buys a gun and one area where it is normally easy to dent, you may feel that you want to do gets trigger happy, going beyond the draw a line between the best and worst. something that’s not number juggling law, here represented by police detec- Jodie and friend show their disapproval for the film’s awful title I’ve never met anyone who thought or algebra manipulation. If you have tive Terrence Howard, with her own Andie MacDowell was going to run a real passion for a classic film or al- brand of justice. It all sounds a bit away with a clutch of awards for Four ternatively you hate something that is comic book so far, no? tice, a theme particularly relevant in eyes retain the emotion of the roles that Weddings and a Funeral, for example. seen as the holy grail of filmmaking, Well, yes, and at times it does seem a political climate that sees those in made her the most credible woman in Genre? Well, you’d be foolish to judge then let us know. like Jodie’s next move will be to don charge of the law causing international Hollywood and at turns reference the The Shining on its comedy merits, so Perhaps you have a favourite director a cape and mask, but Neil Jordan has debacles. Taxi Driver had Vietnam victim of The Accused and the strength the expectations that an audience has who you feel is criminally overlooked, more capable hands than those that and The Brave One has Iraq, although of Clarice in Silence of the Lambs, both of a particular genre are definitely like- or perhaps you just want to rant for a may let it descend into simple heroics. thankfully only one reference is made of which bagged her an Oscar. ly to factor into it somewhere, but this few hundred words about the worst The morality of the situation is the real to this throughout. The focus instead Jodie is simply fascinating to watch can again vary, albeit not generally that summer of cinema in years. Feel that question here and the film acts more as here is the character, and that’s where and the different sides to her seem much, between observers, Direction cinema quality is decreasing rapidly debate than moral compass, and aims the genius of Jodie comes in. completely believable throughout, if and plot are more subject to individual with nothing new coming in to com- to provoke thought rather than supply Hands up who hasn’t been that im- the transitions themself could perhaps perception though and these are gen- pete with neverending sequels and the answers. pressed with Jodie Foster’s role choices have been handled better. The fdoes erally what makes or breaks films. And like? Then be sure to get it off your This is a film that concentrates on of late? Well, lower your hands again not dent the film’s enjoyability howev- yet it is these factors that build the ivo- chest and let the whole college know: the frustrations of society to live within because this vehicle is exactly what she er, even if you have to watch the early ry towers of taste that leave some films the law when it seems to impede jus- does best: vulnerable, but strong. Her attack through parted fingers. supposedly untouchable. [email protected] Clooney may be the star, but it’s the great support that wins Clayton’s case Danny Ocean, Batman or acting in one a result. Michael Clayton ★★★✫✫ of his recent non-studio pics, he is so Tilda Swinton is also impressive recognisable as George Clooney that, as figurehead of the corporation, U Director: Tony Gilroy Writers: despite adding a slight self-uncertainty North, who sees events spiral out of Tony Gilroy to his character profile here, it is hard control and is immensely watchable as Cast: George Clooney, Tilda Swinton, Tom to fully invest in him. a character who, although represent- Wilkinson Clooney plays a fix-it man in the ti- ing corporate greed and arrogance, is tle role here as an employee of a law not inherently malicious. The main firm whose basic job description is to cast is rounded off by Sydney Pollack Alex Casey get things done, but in this courtroom who oversees his law firm’s operation -thriller-without-the-courtroom, it is falling apart under his nose and in a The advertising of this film as little the supporting players that show more role that could have easily elicited the more than an intelligent star vehicle for promise. Tom WIlkinson is fantastic audience’s moral outrage, he manages George Clooney, Hollywood’s recent as the mentally ill lawyer who suffers to achieve the appropriate hopeless- addition to the can-do-no-wrong club, a crisis of conscience mid-case and ness of his situation. is grossly unfair. In fact, whilst lauded sets the plot in motion, an Erin Brock- The plot itself does pick up towards as Clooney’s best performance of the ovich-style tale if told from the point the end, but there is a lot of initial year/his life/the millenium, it seems to of view of the evil corporation’s legal twisting and turning that is hard to care rather confirm the apparent truth that team but with a bit more masculine ac- about, leaving the ending feeling like a George is most adept at playing the tion in place of Julia Roberts’ childcare slight relief. It’s also another film that same character repeatedly in slightly issues. As Wilkinson realises he is act- suffers from the trailer which show- different guises. ing as agent for a company who have cases all the best lines which within the George Clooney has the misfor- poisoned thousands of people with main body of the film carry much less tune of having one of those faces that their product, Clooney is brought in impact. Still, it’s a hearty consolation to is overly recognisable and difficult to to find out what he’s up to and restore see the Brits, Wilkinson and Swinton, mould into anything else, a feature the company’s grip on the situation, steal the limelight from the golden boy also present in his acting. Whether he’s with various moral questions raised as (man?) of the moment. Clooney perfects the pensive face, but a real range still escapes him 26 felix Friday 5 October 2007 Fashion Fashion Editor – Sarah Skeete [email protected] Body mod for the ungodly Tattoos have always been around, to rebel or conform, for decoration or elevation COOL Although tattoos only became wide- ago, are tattooed with a variety of ani- restricted to women only. tattooed polynesians to the public, to spread in popular culture in the 90s, mals. Some, like griffins and various However this rich tradition of tattoo- demonstrate how “primitive” their so- it was actually only a slight resurgence monsters are believed to have a magi- ing was almost destroyed in the West ciety was. over the course of history. People have cal significance, others are decorative, by the Church. A passage in the Old However the return of captain Cook been scarring pretty patterns into their and some are to signify status. Testament, Leviticus 19:28, states “You from Polynesia created a resurgance in skin since ancient times. Roman em- Japanese people were mostly inter- shall not make any gashes in your flesh the popularity of tattoos with sailors. peror Caesar wrote that, ‘All Briton’s ested in the decorative aspect of tat- for the dead or tattoo any marks upon By the end of the 18th century most stain their skins with woad’, and Herod toos. The horis (japanese tattoo artists) you.” And so tattooing became banned British ports had at least one profes- of Antioch was apparently amazed to were innovators in the use of colours, by church edict. sional tattoo artist. And so began the find that ‘Britons wear animals “in- perpective and design. Previously tattoos were used as sta- reintroduction of tattoos into western cised” into their bodies’. Some tattoos were restricted by gen- tus symbols of importance and power culture. The word tattoo comes from the der. In Egypt, female mum- within religious communities, even in In 1862, the Prince of Wales had a sound the tattooing instru- mies have been early Christian society. jerusalem cross tattooed onto his arm, ment makes on the skin found with For centuries afterwards tattoos were which was emulated by the aristocracy. America’s Next Top Model of those being tat- tattoos of stigmitised as uncivilised. Pagan tribes Echoed in the way tattoos took off with The latest series has begun! tooed and derives abstract geo- that were converted to Christianity had the general population after it becom- I love how girls in this pro- from the Poly- metric pat- their cultural traditions such as body ing popular with celebrities in the late gramme still think it’s anything nesian word ‘ta’ terns made modification forbidden by their new 20th century. other than an entertainment which means to strike up of lines religion. Tattoos were still widespread Like many things programme. It’s worth watch- something. Polynesia and dots, in many societies not touched by banned by reli- ing despite Tyra’s annoying is often credited as the an art Christianity, such as tribal gion, as new face. culture with the most form and warrior societies, generations important influence and by people on its grow up on the art of tattoo- outskirts of society, such and re- ing. However, in ancient as pirates and robbers. ject the times, tattoing was also In the 18th cen- doctrine widespread throughout the tury explorers of their rest of the world. returning from parents, There is evidence of tattooing their travels pointless even in the Bronze Age (3500 - exhibited taboos are 1100BC) in the mummified body shaken off. of ötzi. ötzi, the five thousand year Tattooing is old ice man, was discovered here to stay, chang- on a mountain between aus- ing it’s form according tria & italy, his frozen body to the whims of preserving his 57 tattoos. fashion. A cross on the inside of the left knee, six straight lines 15 centimeters long above the kidneys and parallel lines on his Watches ankles. The next generation won’t In Celtic culture sym- know what watches are! bolic tattoos were very Mobile phones have killed the popular. The most com- watch. Buy a retro casio style mon tattoo designs were watch from Urban Outfitters of spirals, and knotwork. (£48) while you still can. Soon The complex braids of people will be baffled and con- knotwork tattoos sym- fused by the antiquated tech- bolised the connection of all nology of the wrist watch and life. Step or key celtic designs you will be openly mocked on symbolised the various paths the street. of life’s journey. In Russia, mummies found dating from around 2400 years Stables Market Redevelopment Good! I want a shopping centre! I want the corporations to take over! The people who oppose this have the rose-tint- ed view of a Camden they fell in love with when they were 14. It’s just the same t-shirts on every stall. LAME Friday 5 October 2007 felix 27 Food Food Editor – Hannah Theodorou [email protected] Bread costs rising with global warming Global warming: one of the hottest talking points there is, but how does it affect the price of your loaf? Noel Forrest It is wrong to say that extreme weather events are “caused by” man’s pollution – as of course, they used to happen any- way. However, we can certainly say that the recently observed trend of extreme weather events increasing in both in- tensity and frequency is typical of the predictions made by climate experts. It’s basically explained by the increased energy in the system. And it’s pushing up the price of bread! Yes students eve- rywhere will have been hit hard by the news that adverse weather has doubled the price of a bushel of wheat within a year and now upped your Sainsbury’s loaf by five percent. Prices started to rise last year when the worst drought in decades devastated crops in Aus- tralia, then the third-biggest exporter of the grain. Dry weather has also hurt wheat plants in Ukraine and Russia, but it was excessive precipitation that damaged fields in the U.S. and Europe! As an ex-investor, I understand that this is typical of a global theme which we may well be hearing more about: that of limited supply stretch- ing to meet exponentially advancing demand. As emerging markets boom, D’oh, d’oh and more d’oh... and commodity fund managers specu- late, the prices of wheat, gold and oil are all soaring upwards – not pleasing uses for bread which verge on magic. mellow malty flavour, and when fresh a thing since before sliced bread for a vance in livestock-related greenhouse- to economists while US growth seems They demonstrate that creating lovely brilliantly soft and doughy consistency reason, in my view – and it’s not lazi- gas reduction practices (can someone to be slowing considerably. What’s re- food out of cheap ingredients is not – like memory foam that remembers ness. The truth is that the machine has invent a cow-fart igniter, please?), glo- ally worrying is that climate change, only easy but actually quite satisfying. your shape when compressed. A bite surpassed man’s abilities in creating bal meat consumption would need to over what timescale nobody knows, A little bit of effort goes a long way, of a sandwich with this stuff plugs the neat slices. These neat slices are ideal fall to an average of 90g per person per could well turn out to be a very seri- and that is the magic of cooking: that a back of your front teeth and the top of for sandwiches, where uniformity of day just to stabilise emissions from this ous stressor in the system, as humanity permanent, cost less skill can multiply your mouth, like any really fresh bread thickness and clean edges ensure a sector – equivalent of one hamburger attempts to pass through an environ- pleasure a thousandfold. See below for should… but then it somehow accepts pleasing experience for the mouth and per person. Yes those high prices ought mental bottleneck of overpopulation the bread ideas. a film of mucus and disintegrates in the eyes. to curb demand, but the true cost to the and wasteful over-consumption. One criticism of the bread industry moist shreds like a steak, rather than Finally, the best thing about bread is environment/society is not included in Nevertheless we Imperial students if I had to make one: all those nuts and in soggy clumps like a sponge, as your that it’s not meat, which brings us back that price yet. will be the ones solving this problem, seeds – not my thing at all. Their oils average white will. But should you get to the climate change issue via the re- Sorry to sound like a wartime ration- so we need to eat! Plus, we need to eat (sesame oil etc.) create a slightly nose- it sliced in the shop? If you back your cent report in the Lancet. I’m certainly ing evangelist, but eating less meat and cheaply, and bread of course remains tickling heady aroma, which I would own slicing abilities, this will allow for no vegetarian, but 22% of CO2 emis- more bread, and being smug about do- one of the cheapest options out there. prefer to substitute for a malty granary flexibility in thickness: you can enjoy sions worldwide coming from agri- ing clever stuff with it all, might just So, in the first passionate attempt by hit. In fact my life-long favourite bread both thick sliced cheese toasties, and culture (of which 80% meat) is quite be fun. But it doesn’t appeal does it? this column to improve the food you has been the Baker’s Oven/Gregs gra- thin sliced morcels with butter and shocking. Assuming a 40% increase in That’s the tragedy. That’s what we need consume, I am throwing out there two nary batch loaf. It has a wonderfully jam. However, sliced bread is the best global population by 2050 and no ad- a solution to. Bring some homeliness to your cooking with these two simple bread recipes Real croutons for soup Autumn Bliss 1) Make a simple raw custard by lightly beating together the egg, This three-way hybrid of Eng- egg yolk, caster sugar, cream and lish bread and butter pudding, milk. Cut the crusts off the bread French pain perdu and Ital- and spread a little soft butter in ian ravioli is Hugh Fearnley- the middle of each slice (not to the Whittingstall’s answer to the edges, though, as it may prevent “creeping autumn chill”, and you making the seal). Pile the rasp- the seasonal fruit glut we aren’t berries into the centre of 2 slices If you never do this you are an exposed to enough in London. (i.e. on top of the butter), squash- idiot and it’s not my fault. Yes Warm the insides of some- ing them together a bit. Sprinkle a I admit it’s not really a recipe body special then hide from little caster sugar over them. Take but in terms of enjoyment the elements somewhere else the remaining 2 slices of bread and to effort ratio it stands out a special. place them, buttered side down, mile – crispy, crunchy, buttery Serves 2: over the first. Squeeze the edges times, until well saturated. Heat Dust with a little more caster sug- croutons add so much to your 1 egg of the bread together firmly, mak- a good centimetre of untainted ar and serve straight away. favourite soup. 1 egg yolk ing a seal all around the edges fresh oil in a frying pan. When it is 1) Saw the crusts off a few 1 tablespoon caster sugar, - you can use a little of the egg hot enough to turn a test piece of You can fill this lovely pud with slices of bread plus extra for sprinkling custard, dabbed on with a finger, bread golden in about a minute, lift all sorts of seasonal goodies be- 2) Slice the middle bits into 2 tablespoons single or double to help it stick. You end up with a the eggy cushions with a spatula sides raspberries: Bramley ap- big centimetre-ish squares. cream bread ‘cushion’, like a giant raviolo, and slide them carefully into the ples, blackberries, plums, pears. 3) Fry until crispy and put 3 tablespoons milk in which the raspberries are the pan. When the underneath is fried But raspberries will prove hard in whatever soup you have 4 thick (1-2cm) slices of fresh stuffing. to a deep golden brown, turn them to beat. bought or made white bread 2) Pour the custard mixture into a over and fry till the other side is NB: I prefer granary bread soft butter shallow dish or deep plate and lay done, too. (Recipe reproduced with fried in butter, but any bread a couple of dozen raspberries the bread cushions in it to soak 3) Drain on kitchen paper, then kind permission of www. and anything to fry it in works. sunflower oil for frying up the custard. Turn them several transfer quickly to warmed plates. rivercottage.net)T 28 felix Friday 5 October 2007 Games Games Editors – Azfarul Islam and Sebastian Nordgren [email protected] This Week N Multiplayer Mayhem Okami Ye Olde School Bad Boys Editors, Heroes nother year for Felix Games, and a wide-eyed, Freshers’ Videogames 101 callus-fingered fresh new face will be officiating Azfarul Islam thinks that you should join others in huddling around a warm screen A the section, right? You’re oh-so wrong readers, for in fact there are two! hile I’m sure that all nature of the beautiful game. Yeah, so Super Smash Brothers Melee ing map design and by simply being a From the frozen northern wastelands of you have had a it hardly has the correct player names (GameCube) blast to play. There’s something about of Finland comes Sebastian – hardy fun time settling in, (licensing issues) and maybe the graph- it that makes the carnage quite gratify- warrior and PC fanatic. He doesn’t making new friends ics lack pizzazz… but try telling that to Here’s a title that takes famous (game) ing; the balance is pitch perfect, allow- believe you’re having a good time un- W and generally being the millions that boycott FIFA. characters, intuitive play mechanics ing players of most skill levels to enjoy less your retinas are being scorched by budding little socialites, and a multitude of features and then right from the beginning. Given the explosions and your hands are shaking it’s time to remember Counter- creates an all-out fighting experience plethora of interesting weapons and from an overdose of adrenaline. that you’re at Imperial. So Strike (PC) that can appeal to anyone regardless of intuitive vehicles, it’s easy to see why Hailing from the wartorn (hyper- give in, embrace the geek age or gender. It’s pure and simple fun the series offers such a comprehensive bole in progress) realm of Bangladesh, within. A supreme fa- solidified into disc form and done so gaming package. Azfarul is the console aficionado and A great way to get a vourite, par- with tenacity. You can tweak battles to all-round nice guy. He’s on the artsy, whole common room your heart’s content Wii Sports (Wii) hippie side of games and thinks that or kitchen involved in a and whittle away engrossing, poignant narratives and bit of fun is starting up a the night with ease. Face it: we all love the Wii! Being able atmospheric design are de rigueur. round of multiplayer gaming – be it on ticularly among Real-time Pokémon to channel all that pent up adrenaline Together, we look forward to present- consoles or fancy-shmancy PeeCees. the oriental Asian brawls for the win, into actual gameplay motion was a bril- ing to you the multi-faceted aspects of Here are a few classic suggestions to community, CS is indeed. liant stroke in itself and then applying the gaming world and hopefully work break the pixelated ice with. a realistic game- that synergy into sports games pretty up enough courage in you to tell your mod turned full much seals the deal. Wii friends that you’d rather not go to the Pro Evolution Soccer (PS2, PC, title that contin- Sports boasts five major pub tonight since you’re in the middle Xbox) ues to offer hours activities: tennis, bowling, of a rather exciting section of BioShock. of entertainment. baseball, golf and boxing. But it’s not all sad solo outings because Sports are always a great way to invig- The emphasis on team-based tactics Halo The competition can get gaming is a social beast at the best of orate yourself creatively, physically and and the mayfly lives of the players (Xbox, fierce with gamers amaz- times: Halo parties, CS shootouts and socially; the game iterations only con- means that battles can springboard Xbox ingly breaking a sweat and PES tourneys abound; we’re here to form to the latter but hey, they’re fun. astonishingly quickly between pains- 360) the chances of physical have fun and rock your world! The best of the bunch is PES. Why does taking stratagems and all-out carnage. harm actually exist; it’s a Or, you know, mildly amuse you at it work? Nobody really knows. Perhaps What truly propels this title is the There’s very intense, addicting ex- the very least. it’s simply because it does. It’s really a abundance of mods lovingly built by really nothing about Halo that I haven’t perience that will have you hooked and no-frills entertainment package with the players themselves. If you’re a nov- already said! It’s quite an exhilarating you will want to play the next round... Cheers, fluid gameplay, organic controls and ice, prepare to die... a lot... but have a gameplay experience that succeeds and the next round... and the next one Az & Sebb. a balance that captures the impetuous great time in doing so. thanks to fine-tuned controls, addict- to settle scores. Nexties? Not a chance. Felix Games N for Nynja wants you! Gairaigo Episode 1: Okami Azfarul Islam a spontaneous gaming experience but you’re about half-right. The aim of the Gairaigo is a Japanese loan-word that game is to really revel in the saturated conveniently means “loan-word” (see hues of the world. You’ll explore stun- what I did there?). This section is de- ning locations that are designed with signed to whet your appetite for the oft delicate nuance and face off against refreshing, truly wondrous and highly creatures that are so creative and ba- bizarre world of Japanese games. This roque, you can’t decide whether to goes beyond conventional titles and attack or admire them. The painting looks at a quaint little world where you aspect permeates into every facet of Sebastian Nordgren Finished a Final Fantasy game illustrate heavenly changes upon the design and brilliantly at that. You can to 100% completion? secular and realise that you’re a forty- pause the screen, summon your godly In the ongoing pirate-ninja wars, N five year old trapped in the body of a canvas and literally stroke slices upon is the most compelling argument for Perhaps you beat Half-Life at teenager. It’s a mad world, after all. your foes. Perhaps you’re low on health ninja superiority. Forget Johnny Depp’s the hardest difficult without and need protection: why not let a for- charming drunken swagger – N wipes dying? Okami est of trees shield you. the floor with him by combining one When it comes to solving puz- of the simplest control schemes of the Maybe you’ve wracked up Okami is a novel concept that perspica- zles, you’re offered a growing level of past decade with beatifully fluid move- insane scores playing Snake. ciously attempts to fuel the “games are breadth and imagination. Yes, there ment, creating a frenetic mix of action art” debate by thrusting a paintbrush is a lot of environmental sentiment and classic platformer gameplay. With If you’re passionate about into your hand (or paw) and plead- ingrained into the experience but it’s a solid physics engine and wonderfully videogames then why not ing that you purge the world of evil by wrapped in a package that will more context-sensitive controls, the game is write about them? We want painting a fresh coat of kaleidoscopic often than not make your jaw drop in the epitome of lo-fi gaming, which will to hear your nuggets of beauty over it. Oh, and you also play awe. Okami is a long adventure but a suck you in and consume your lunch wisdoms, your views and as a Sun deity trapped in the corporeal surprisingly tranquil, retrospective one breaks while you give it “just one more your trysts with that flighty form of a white wolf. despite the need for skirmish – if you try”. temptress that is gaming. I suppose you’re rolling your eyes need to unwind it can serve as an unu- with a great deal of askance right sual visual respite. Play it online or download [email protected] about now, and rightfully so. The con- it at www.harveycartel.org/ cept seems a little too pastoral to offer Okami is available in the UK now Wolf + Tree = ... metanet/n.html Friday 5 October 2007 felix 29 [email protected] Games I remember when this was all 2D Michael Cook battles non-linearity, World of Warcraft and old age to keep his love of gaming young ’m getting old. Not properly old, but I’m two decades into my in- nings here, and I’ve been playing games in one way or another I nigh on fifteen years now. It’s scary, when I think of it, even though my usage at that age amounted to sit- ting and watching my Dad beat up an old Sinclair ZX Spectrum. I don’t re- member much of what we played. But what I do remember, quite vividly, was the Amiga 600. I remember Zool. I re- member Dizzy. I remember the EGG- SONLEGS password that made him fly. Times change, though, and I’m fine with that, really. Dizzy was good fun, but I don’t feel my brother has missed out, raised as he was on a healthy diet of Ratchet and Clank. In fact, for all the new technology and fears of commer- cialism that plague gaming nowadays, it hasn’t changed all that much in the time I’ve been playing. Governments rose and fell, we solved Fermat’s Last Equation, but other than the Internet taking multiplayer gaming up a notch, little has changed. Look at Doom’s release, all those years ago. Despite connection prob- lems, we downloaded and played it across the world. Soon after, we played Command and Conquer for the first time, and dabbled in Ultima Online – a whole world with monsters, cities, and real people! Can you spot the difference between the two games? If not, you are probably me, or in need of serious medical help. Or both Now, despite having massive game worlds and complex goals, the big- gest hit of the moment is Valve’s Team ics engines and antiscopic filtering. So why do I get excited at the thought ROMs for The New Zealand Story, or of when screens were only 21-inch, Fortress 2 – which, despite connec- That my children will enjoy roughly of a Deus Ex re-run? Why was I so de- attempt Superfrog again and actually and you could still buy games in high tion problems, we’ve downloaded and the same experiences I did, even if they termined to find a copy of the original finish the damn thing this time. street shops, and the Master Chief played across the world, with the basic can actually tell what they’re playing Broken Sword? Why am I still involved And maybe, maybe that’s not such hadn’t been put in a spin-off kart rac- formula of kill or be killed unchanged. (which definitely wasn’t the case with in a painstaking play-by-email game of a crime after all. I grew up with these ing series. And what else are we playing? Com- the ZX Spectrum), is actually quite Alpha Centauri? If gaming is a fresh games, the comfort of two dimensions And where will that leave me? Some- mand and Conquer 3, and World of heartening. and new as it’s always been, then how and the pitter-patter of a 56k modem where quiet, hopefully, with an 800mhz Warcraft – a game in which you live Instead, the similiarity of today’s come I’m not having as much fun as I gurgling its way through a phone line. Pentium, a copy of Unreal Tournament in a whole world with monsters, cities gaming world to yesterday’s worries used to? Why don’t I think the plots are It’s right. It’s beautiful. It’s time for the and Team Deathmatch on Morpheus. and real people! me that I may just be getting old. Half- as good any more, and why am I sud- torch to be passed to the mewling thir- Those whippersnappers, I’ll say, don’t Don’t take this as an attack on origi- Life 2 feels empty now, as I re-play it in denly wondering if WASD wasn’t such teen year-old Counterstrike players know the meaning of multiplayer. nality today – I think it’s great that anticipation of Episode 2. Quake Wars a great invention after all? of today, so that they can become the Why, I remember, back in the day, gaming is fundamentally unchanged. feels bloated and overcomplicated. Maybe it’s the first signs that age is whisky-sipping Civilisation IV play- my Dad would wrestle with a ZX Spec- It shows that we knew what fun was World of Warcraft seems like a gigan- setting in, or that I should hook out the ers of tomorrow. And they, in turn, trum and a cassette player, and I’d be before we discovered complex phys- tic waste of time. Amiga emulators and hunt out some will have their own fond memories glad if… Now on Channel 4 it’s time for Retro-Loco – When Nostalgia Attacks IV Zool Bill’s Tomato Game Superfrog Monkey Island Pong Did you play Zool? Trick question, of Now, apparently, we’re not allowed Similar to Zool, Superfrog was a cheery Monkey Island is a series that’s still be- Now this is a proper bloody game. course – everyone played Zool. If you to use puzzles unless they describe cartoon platformer that hit all the right ing matured by LucasArts, but judging None of this graphics engine crap, or didn’t play Zool, you wouldn’t be read- themselves as involving a ‘physics en- targets to become a classic on the by their handling of the latest Sam and advanced fuzzy AI, or massive mul- ing a Games section right? Just in case gine’, whatever the hell that means. Amiga and Amstrad. You’re a frog. But Max outing, the originals may turn out tiplayer, whatever that means. Why you didn’t, here’s what you missed out Bill’s Tomator Game involved gravity, you have superpowers! You even have a to be their finest hour. would I want to play games with re- on – other than my love – Zool was but they managed to avoid using the cape, for chrissakes. If you thought Fi- You’re Guybrush Threepwood, a ally tall people? They play the same as a platformer for, among other things, dreaded phrase by focusing on things nal Fantasy VII was missing something, mighty pirate, and not only can you hold short people. the Amiga. Featuring the titular ninja, that were actually fun, such as the fact it’s probably a frog in a cape. But that’s your breath for ten minutes, but you’re Anyway, Pong was proper solid. from the Nth dimension, Zool was a you got to bound and splat the red fruit where Superfrog knocks Squaresoft going to learn even more There was up, down, sometimes up cookie-cutter platformer when cookie- on trampolines, jack-in-the-boxes out of the park, you see? Amateur useful skills in your quest and then down really quickly. Fakies, cutters were still in style. and through myriad obstacles. mistake, guys. to become the mightiest I called it. Plus the ball – that was The plot was gripping – You leapt, you soared, you col- pirate in the Caribbean. some difficult shit. Was it go- you were tasked with rescu- lected fruit. It was the life not Sword-fighting that’s ing to bounce at the angle you ing your tomato-y girlfriend just of a frog, but a great frog. A based on exchanging in- expected? Could you get to from the clutches of an evil super-frog, if you will. Supes is sults? Check. Zombie pi- the other side of the screen in squirrel, but the only still playable today, thanks rate with a wisecracking time? That was real tension. way to get to his to a very smooth con- skeletal crew? Check. The Then they tried to update it tree-top lair was trol system, and really second biggest monkey head by making it 3D and adding He jumped, he kicked, he fired weird to propel yourself crisp graphics. Anoth- you’ve ever seen? Check. in a Britney Spears license, orange amoeba from his hands. The through eighty lev- er one that’s well worth Monkey Island still has and collectable weapons bosses were leaping alarm clocks and els of crazy pump- emulating, particularly some of the best writing seen and downloadable skins for giant clown faces. It was sponsored kins, toy soldiers, with the decline in gaming, and even less nos- the bats, but they’re just by Chupa Chup lollies for Christ’s wrecking balls and of really good talgic gamers still revisit selling out, man. Give me sake – it was everything that was great pyramids. platforming it year on year. Go a pen and paper any day. about that time in gaming, and reason None of this ‘A on the find it for the PC, Any- enough for any of you to hook out an hero never dies’ PC. but expect to one Amiga emulator and track down some crap. That’s a real wrestle XP to for ROMs. story, right there. run it. chess? 30 felix Friday 5 October 2007 Music to the ears of Dubrovnik Sinfonietta, Big Band and Choir Tour took to town of Dubrovnik for their summer tour. Tom Kealy reports e started off this possible and happily sampled £1 per art and design history, civil engineer- of St Blaise. This was a chance for tour in Britain, half litre of beer for as long as we could. ing; and wandering urban spaces with much merriment, with a combination which is a good This turned out not to be very long as explosives to protect yourself, possibly of dancing and loud music, many of place to start the entire orchestra exhausted the ca- a bit of both. To be honest, if there ever the other musicians being enthusias- W – personally I pacity of this small watering hole and was a city to be unprepared for, Du- tic dancers. Afterwards we went to a would have been worried to wake soon all the draft beer was gone, later brovnik is probably it. From the marble bar on the old port and admired the up in any other country but the one followed by bottled beer. It’s not that polished paving stones that you walk view. More importantly this was the I’d fallen asleep in, especially given any member of the orchestra has culti- round the city on, to the white gold night where our dear Chair Hilary today’s geopolitical wrangling. As a vated a particular ability to drink alco- granite that most of the city’s architec- Wood displayed her amazing driving collective, the whole of Sinfonietta hol; it’s just that there were an awful lot ture is constructed from, Dubrovnik skills. The side entrance to the walled had decided that Britain was simply of us. At around two we all drifted off really is the gem of the Adriatic. city was made of arches in the classi- too cold, and that we desperately to bed, as the dream of cheap alcohol The rest of the day was given over to cal Venetian style, and we had rented needed cheaper alcohol than that exploring Dubrovnik ourselves (read: a Luton van (complete with tail lift) to on offer in Britain, owing to the fact going to the beach), and then back to transport instruments from the UK that most of the orchestra had spent “If there was the Villa Rasica for dinner. Then more to Dubrovnik and around Dubrovnik their student loans by the time tour beach. Some of us had serious musical itself. The problem did not present came round. So anyway, that is how I ever a city to commitments that evening – Impe- itself until Hil successfully negotiated found myself at Gatwick airport one rial College Choir had their first re- the van through the first two arches (a Thursday afternoon in June, Thurs- be unprepared hearsal with the unique Collin Durant. job which required millimetre preci- day 28th June 2007 to be precise. This was a big moment for the choir, sion, due to the respective dimensions The flight was uneventful, and we for, Dubrovnik is them being tour virgins. Yes! This was of the van and the arches). It was only all landed safely to a quite a tem- Choir’s first tour in their 50 year his- the next arch which proved impos- perate climate. The advanced party probably it.” tory. Apparently next year they want sible to negotiate the van through. (consisting of the supposedly more to go to Wales… But anyway, after Mostly because the archway was far wise among the Sinfonietta great was shattered, much like most of the literally dragging most of the choir too small and the van was far too and good) had organised a bus for us musicians. members from the beach, the villa’s re- big*. Then Hilary tried to reverse the from the airport to our accommoda- The next day we had a tour of Du- ception was soon filled with the deep van back out the way she came. Only tion for the week: the Villa Rasica. brovnik. Here some people may say throaty sounds of the choir. The boom- when she started this endeavour did We oohed all the way there – the “nothing can ever possibly prepare you ing tenor sound of Ed Hughes was par- she realise that the level of precision architecture of outer Dubrovnik is for the architecture of Dubrovnik” and ticularly prevalent (the very same man required that the wing mirrors had to very Mediterranean (as one choir other such hackneyed phrases, as if the who later won the tour award for being be closed off. Also, Luton vans don’t member informed me – he should, buildings were going to attack you – the loudest member of tour). have rear view mirrors. To cut a long know he has lived in Italy for a bit). and that you need specialised training That evening, Big Band played their story short, it was a long and arduous We arrived quite late, but naturally in architectural defence. This may in- first concert in the main square of ten minutes whilst Hilary reversed the went to the nearest bar as fast as volve many hours of studied reading of Dubrovnik, just in front of the church van (seemingly by telepathy), and then Friday 5 October 2007 felix 31 we all cheered. Except those of us who dipping from a certain member of the For this, and many other misdemean- was Go Go Gadget orchestra, as the in the company of friends, new and weren’t there, we cheered the next day Sinfonietta trumpet section). ors Toby won the Julia Witton-Dauris band cleared up, loaded the van and set old. Some comedy awards for vari- when were told about it. This was quite Sunday being the day of rest saw most award for services rendered to the al- off for the bar in record time. Spirits ous endeavors, including noise pro- an achievement nevertheless, and an of the tour members in the cathedral in cohol industry, one of the most pres- were high for this penultimate party, duction, alcohol consumption and excellent lesson in deferred gratitude. the centre of Dubrovnik, presumably tigious awards that could have been and party we did, late into the night. beachwear in absentia as previously Sinfonietta and Choir had to wait a to atone for the sins of the previous few won on this tour. The next day was given over to prep- discussed were also presented. Then whole day before their first concerts. days, but also to hear a wonderful col- We had one last concert to play. This arations for the chamber concert, and it was onto the beach for our final The orchestra had perhaps the most laboration between IC choir and Sin- was quite special, as it was in the Rec- Choir and Big Band’s last concerts. The night (all of it). Quite frankly, I don’t fun rehearsal of any of the ensembles fonietta. We were playing (or singing) tor’s Palace – the historic high seat of chamber concert was up to the high really remember what happened this – we rehearsed in Villa Rasica’s garden, the Requiem by Gabriel Faure. This Dubrovnik’s government, now a place standards that preceded it on previ- night – except that we drank the bar complete with strategic positioning of went along without hitch and much where various important things happen ous tours - once again a mixture of jazz dry. It had offered to remain open our violin sections around trees and praise was given to the respective so- and also home of the Dubrovnik Sym- and classical groups, it was lovely to until such time as we chose to leave, a horn section sitting on plastic toad- cieties, for the beautiful sounds that phony Orchestra. It really was quite an have the addition of some singers into but as of about 5 a.m. it closed with stools. The concert was once again in filled the cathedral for forty minutes honour to be playing here. Most of the the mix this year. Alas, I have to say the bar men gesticulating that there St Blaise’s square; which was perhaps that Sunday morning. The rest of that palace was a museum, including the I missed this beginning of the Choir were no drinks left to sell to us. Pity. not ideal acoustically, mainly because place where all the instruments were Then we stayed up to watch the sun- there wasn’t an acoustic. Still the or- stored. Dan, our esteemed conductor, rise, which is a beautiful thing when chestra carried on, and we successfully “Sunday saw us gave the stern warning that nothing “We had one last sitting on a beach with friends. Sadly managed to play some excerpts from was to be touched in the palace, lest the tour came to end (emotionally at Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake, Kol Nidrei in the cathedral we will be given a fee for repairs that special concert least), we trekked back to the villa to by Bruch (with soloist Gabriel Kan on would take the remainder of our lives pack. My last memory of tour was the cello, to whom we were grateful for to atone for the to repay. Given such a warning we nat- to play – it was sitting on the plane, taking off, and remembering to come on tour, fortu- urally were on our best behavior, and seeing the Adriatic spread below me nately for us he always remembers to sins of previous sporting our snazziest concert gear in the Rector’s as we tooked off into the still rising play beautifully), and finally Sibelius’s (black jackets for the men). One inter- sun. Symphony Number 1. Next, Choir ser- days” esting thing to note about the Rectors Palace.” The combination of beautiful ar- enaded us with their voices, including Palace – it had no roof, and was built chitecture, incredible weather (it a none to prudish rendition of Haban- day was given over to relaxing, explor- out of stone. Thus the acoustic was one concert as I was playing with my quar- was 30 degrees for all of the tour), era from Carmen by Cecilia Bailey ing and catching up with any sleep, lost of the nicest I’ve ever played in, as the tet in the chamber concert in the Old the chilled out nightlife of Du- amongst other favourites from their necessarily to the cause of tour fun. building had the acoustic of a church Town (Choir and Big Band were play- brovnik, and of course the company repertoire of opera choruses, all very We played another blazing concert in but without the booming effect when ing in the hotel Kompas, which over- of friends, made for one of the most well received. St Blaise square on the Sunday night, brass play really loudly. Thankfully the looks the bay of Lapad and does a nice enjoyable experiences of my life so The rest of the night was whiled this time Prokofiev’s Montagues and brass sounds escaped through the roof, pizza incidentally). I did not however far. I should thank everyone involved away at a bar literally perched upon a Capulets from his Romeo and Juliet nice sounds though they were. The miss the rest of the night’s partying with the organization of the tour – rocky outcrop, discovered by chance suite, and then Tchaikovsky’s 5th sym- program for this night was to be: Wag- and swimming. So much so, I almost with so many societies involved, the and was simply the best bar this hack phony. There was no concerto, and we ner Introduction to Act III from The missed the boat trip to Lopud island list is rather long to detail here and had ever had the pleasure of drinking would have to wait until Monday for Mastersingers of Nurenberg, followed the next day. I must say that the trip I think you know who you are, but in. The next few days followed a similar Shuang Wang to amaze us with her by Grieg’s Piano Concerto (played the to the island was most enjoyable, but Sinfonietta’s conductor and overall pattern, mostly spent wandering the piano playing. One quite interesting impossibly good Shuang Wang) and I can’t provide a detailed commentary tour organiser Daniel Capps de- streets of Dubrovnik, having lunch in event did occur on the Sunday night, finally Sibelius Symphony number 1. because I was asleep under a sunshade serves a special mention for even various restaurants (a note to vegetar- one of the fresher cellists (one Tobias All I can say is that this was simply the for most of the day. It was a necessary thinking it was possible to bring 135 ians, eastern Europeans don’t entirely Shaw) was seen consuming a large best concert I have ever played in (and sacrifice to be made. You see we were people on tour in the first place. Job understand the concept and will hap- amount of Croatian cherry brandy I’ve done a few). Particular approval leaving at 6am the following morn- well done, all of you. pily offer you nothing but cheese for throughout the night (and it was very should be given to Shuang who was in- ing, and there was no way I (or anyone *Hilary would like to contribute to your entire stay. There really is too good). Later on he mysteriously disap- credible, surpassing her performance else for that matter) would be going to this review by adding that no Vene- much of a good thing), and general peared from the company of the rest of with Sinfonietta in London earlier this sleep before then. tian archways or Lutons were injured merriment in the direction of a moon- the orchestra, only to be found hours year even. Of course this concert was That evening we had the tour dinner during this escapade, thus preserv- beam (including many post-midnight later by his roommate quite happily warmly received by the audience, with to attend to, which was an opportunity ing a UNESCO world heritage site swimming trips, complete with skinny asleep on the doorstep to his room. many calls for extra bows. Suddenly it to reflect on the successes of the tour and Sinfonietta’s bank balance. From top left to bottom right: the concert banner hangs invitingly from the Old City walls, the Choir Tour and the Sinfonietta Strings, everyone playing in the Old Town outside St Blaise’s Church, and lastly the Big Band at the union oct 5th - oct 12th FRIDAY 5TH The not-to-miss event of Freshers’ Week! freshers’ ball 2007 Marquee - Indie/ Rock/ Chart Colin Murray Mike Stuart-Matthews Aleks Corr Room 1 - Hip-Hop to Drum N Bass Bryan G + MC K Eye Nicky Blackmarket Blakey (DMC Champion) Casino Room + Shisha Cafe Drinks Offer Gordon’s/ Bacardi Smirnoff/ Famous Grouse f Double + Draught Mixer only £2.75 EVERY TUESDAY NIGHT FRIDAY 12TH Pyjama Party with the best chart hits all night ALSOALSO ON WedWed 10th10 Sin City - Fancy Dress & ACC Bar Night! COMING UP Thu 18th Too Posh to Wash Fri 19th Bar FTSE beer and cash prizes to be won! imperialcollegeunion.org/ents Imperial College Union, Beit Quadrangle, Prince Consort Road, London SW7 2BB The Union encourages responsible drinking. R.O.A.R. Student I.D. Required. Friday 5 October 2007 felix 33 Fun & Games [email protected] Wordoku 1,381 Slitherlink 1,381 Slitherlink 2 – Normal How to play: U A N Crudely speaking, Slitherlink is similar possibly be a line. So, take the pattern to Minesweeper mixed with a dash of below as an example. Begin by drawing E A 2 2 Sudoku. crosses, then by filling in some lines: The object of the game is to draw lines between the dots to create one F A C U 220 2 long, and most importantly, looping line. It should have no start or finish; x C G F N just like an elastic band. x x 2 2 Each number indicates how many 0 3 lines should be drawn around it, for x N F L G example: 2 0 3 L C F T Now the lines can only continue in the 333 following directions: A L F N Cells which don’t contain a number can be surrounded by any number of lines. G L Answers for Slitherlink 1 Remember, the line must form a x loop, so the line cannot branch. The x 0 x 3 G T U following situations are not allowed: x 2 1 2 2 Solution to 1,380 Wordoku is identical to sudoku; we’ve just replaced the numbers 2 3 The Slitherlinks on this page are basic T M H U A Y B C E with letters. Once you’ve 5x5 grids. Get practising because you Y U C E B H M A T completed the puzzle, there can expect some 10x10s later in the A E B C T M Y H U is a hidden word or phrase to 3 2 01 3 Squares are not allowed either. There term and perhaps even some severe B Y E A M U C T H find. Email in your answers to are never cells containing the number 25x30 grids when we’re feeling really . 4 in Slitherlink. mean. Email us to let us know how you C T M Y H E U B A [email protected] 3 2 3 So, where do you start? The most got on with these ones. U H A B C T E M Y The winner of Wordoku common place to start on a Slitherlink In the past, I’ve filled this final para- H C Y T U B A E M 1,380 was Xing Gao. grid is by drawing crosses around any graph with something relevant to the M B U H E A T Y C Congratulations! The hidden zeros. Drawing crosses is purely done puzzle or answer that’s two columns to E A T M Y C H U B phrase was “EATMYCHUB”. to so that you know where there can’t the left. Now I’m going to waffle. H to the o, r, o, sizzle copes – it’s the Horoscopes Aquarius Taurus Leo Scorpio You open your You arrive at lec- You arrive in a blank So... this Horoscope latest issue tures to find a fresh room. The walls are entry is blank. I of Felix to copy of Felix lying a blank colour, a sort don’t quite know discover that the on the floor. It looks of off white colour. what to do with Horoscopes have surprisingly clean You can’t quite it. Ah yes! Abi! been turned into although it’s been decide whether it’s Well done! Very some bizarre make-your-own-adventure on the floor. To begin copulating with it in the Magnolia or Ivory. It does however look oddly well done! The winner of last issue’s JD game. If you continue reading, go to Virgo. empty lecture hall, place this paper over your familiar to you but you can’t quite remember competition was Abi Box. Commiserations If not, eat some poisoned shrimps and groin area. To read it instead, turn to page 1. why so. Shrugging to yourself, you consider to other entrants. To everyone else, sorry the then disembowel yourself with a copy of To do something less self-referential, go to screwing up the space-time continuum again. competition was over so quickly. It was either Katie Melua’s latest “album”. Libra. Go to Leo. that, or not at all. Ciao bennies. Pisces Gemini Virgo Sagittarius You try to leap out You pull out the You continue read- You die horribly, of the Aries textbox, space katana stowed ing. Looking over because optimism but find yourself in your underwear, the top of your never got anyone being pulled back and thrust it into paper, you see Allur- anywhere. At your down, due to the Alien King. As ing Halls Rep. There funeral, they say something shit like goo drains out of his aren’t many people that you always gravity. The bastard. Speaking of gravity, have spleen, you rise triumphant over his body and around. You could easily do a quick flash and looked on the bright side of life and were a you seen that advert with the kid on the tube? claim yourself king of Planet Euphemism. Go no-one would be any wiser. To flaunt what happy soul, and that that was probably why “That’s gravity making his jaw drop.” Clever, to page 461. If the issue doesn’t happen to be a you’ve got, go to Felix and do a nude shoot. To Fate dumped on you so often. Then everyone very clever. I certainly appreciated the superb 461 page issue, you am fail. Just get out of here use your time machine, go to Leo. To sit tight throws their hats into the air and leaves. The punnage when I read it. Go to Aries. you dirty rat. and hope for the best, go to Sagittarius. hats then fall like leaves. Aries Cancer Libra Capricorn You find yourself You decide to go to You find yourself This week, you trapped in a small the toilet anyway, as unexpectedly learn- pick up a copy of text box towards the exposing your nip- ing things. It occurs Felix and turn to back of a student ples to your lecturer to you that there are the Horoscopes. paper. To attempt didn’t do you any a large number of Everyone seems to jump out, go to good last week, so people in the room to be having much Pisces. To do something unconnected to this it probably won’t now. However, once you get who have never seen your nipples. To expose more fun than you. You just can’t follow the plotline, go to Gemini. To try and emulate to the toilet, you find it is occupied by several yourself, go to Cancer. To relieve yourself, go looping structure of the Horoscopes. As your Hiro’s space-time continuum powers, go to part-time rapists, all of whom just happen to the toilet. To kill yourself, bang your head eyes circle the page, travelling from paragraph Leo. If you don’t understand that reference, go to be on duty. You die horribly; a death that on the corner of the nearest lecture hall seat. to paragraph, you feel bloated. You swell like a and spaff over Kate from Lost or something. involves soap. Rookie mistake. Your skull should crack quite quickly. bosom and explode out of your third naval. 34 felix Friday 5 October 2007 Sport [email protected] Imperial College holds national Kendo competition Windsurfers do Windfest Daniel Wagner gyakis and Tim Simpson, who joined the club last October and now had to On Saturday the 22nd September stand their first solo competition. Ethos’s sports hall echoed with the Early rounds saw Tim Simpson elim- sounds of screams and bamboo swords inated by a competitor almost double smashing into armour. What sounded his age, showing that in kendo age, size like an ancient battle and caused curi- and strength don’t matter - technique ous (or fearful?) looks from Ethos staff and spirit are the keys. Pushing further and passers-by was actually a national into the competition Chris Argyrakis sports event. It was a competition in overcame Kim Towler of Shyunpukan kendo, the Japanese martial art of the before having the misfortune to com- sword. This year’s kyusha taikai - a pete with our own Daniel Wagner. competition for kendo players with Besting Chris in a stern fight Daniel less than three years experience - took steamed through his opponents from Imperial windsurfers spontaneously decide to take a trip to Windfest and, despite the lack of planning, win! place at Imperial College. Organised Cambridge and Edinburgh before be- by the British Kendo Association this ing undone by J. Sitzmann (Nagamit- individuals competition allows junior su, Birmingham) in the semi-final. Niall Thomson we had Hannah to send wheeling and tle for him. This result is just one of rank practitioners to test their skills Sitzmann finally won the competition dealing for a couple of extra after party many highlighting personal and club against others from across the country against S. McDonald. Daniel therefore With no organisation, no plan and little tickets. While Hannah bartered for the achievement in the past year. For a in a set of refereed sparring matches. achieved a joint 3rd place together with communication the Imperial Windsurf highly sought after tickets the rest of landlocked university Imperial con- The competition consisted of two S. Sykes-Moore. Club somehow managed to attend the the club were entertained by Nick and tinually punches way above its weight preliminary fights, followed by quar- Overall the competition day was a annual Animal Windfest in Sandbanks, Dom (you know there might be a TV in student competition, finishing 3rd ter and semi-finals, and the final itself great success. Everybody enjoyed the Poole. Our travel arrangements may show in it, but probably not a children’s in the overall Student Windsurf Series with judges including Matsumoto-sen- relaxed atmosphere at Ethos and the have been reminiscent of Trains, Planes one). So why were tickets so hard to last year. sei, 7th Dan and coach of the British friendly practice afterwards with al- and Automobiles (just missing the hu- come by? Well taking a few bands, The IC windsurf club offers a great Kendo squad. most sixty people fighting at the same mour) but we made it. Greeted by sea, adding a few thousand outdoor enthu- opportunity for those of any level keen Approximately 60 competitors from time was just amazing. Finally - as sand and…perfect sunshine there were siasts and mixing them together in one to get out on the water. With quali- throughout the country came to take usual in the kendo community - many certainly no complaints when we got big tent you get quite a potent formula, fied instructors and club kit we cater part in the main competition, another people went for dinner and drinks to- there. With BMX and wakeboarding I think fun was had by all! for all levels from beginner to winner 30 kendo practitioners attended a ref- gether after crossing swords with each displays, Zap Cat racing and beach vol- Having overlooked transport, food (just add a sense of humour). We of- eree training seminar before hand and other. leyball there was no shortage of things and party tickets what else could we fer numerous trips throughout the even more kendo players came to help, We now look forward to a new year to see and do...oh and the free beer have left to the last minute? Well year (usually more organised than this to watch and to join the friendly prac- of training and to many new students van was a bonus. We even managed to somewhere to stay would’ve have spontaneous weekend). Our adven- tice after the competition. To fly the flag joining us as the academic year begins. squeeze in some beginner windsurf- come in handy. As the chaos of the tures range from day trips to the coast for Imperial our kendo club sent three For more details about kendo and ing lessons by our qualified instruc- Windfest Party concluded we thought accompanied by our every willing in- competitors: Daniel Wagner, Chris Ar- our club visit our union website. tors in the perfect learning conditions it was about time to start considering structors, weekend trips to across the Saturday presented. All this in baking the issue of accommodation. Although country, Student Windsurf Events in- sunshine, beautiful scenery and a very I missed out on the spectacle I think cluding the Legendary Aussie Kiss fes- relaxed atmosphere. the 3 am erection of acquired tents on tival (700 windsurfers, 3 live bands and As the sun set on a good day our at- a dark beach was quite probably rather a wild wild west country theme, Corn- tentions turned to fish and chips and entertaining. wall here we come 24-27th October). the legendary Parkway Fish Bar…if As the sun returned for Sunday it As well as numerous weekend breaks you haven’t been, you’re missing out. brought a little wind. Perfect for our the club also runs Easter and summer Unfortunately we did miss out on the intermediate sailors to get out and re- holidays to sunnier, windier parts of Saturday night thanks to some sterling fine their skills. The wind continued the world. directions from Niall, but none the less to build throughout the afternoon and fish and chips were acquired elsewhere eventually gave us enough to run the Windfest Quick Facts and still tasted good with a with a glass UK Freestyle Championships. The Party factor 7/10 of wine at sunset. With the important club training trips to Egypt and Greece (Good but Aussie Kiss sets the matter of food sorted the next activity last year along with numerous excur- bar high) on the weekends itinerary was the of- sions to the coast clearly paid off, as Faff to surf ratio 3:7 ficial party, unfortunately our lack of despite the previous nights exertions, Surprisingly good considering the organisation even hit the part of the club member Chris B is now the UK party factor! windsurf club that’s usually meticu- Amateur Freestyle Champion; an ex- Weather rating 6.5 Some stick wielding action in Ethos at the national Kendo competition lously planned, the party. Fortunately cellent effort and a well deserved ti- Sunny but could be windier Crossword No. 1,381 We need crossword setters! Email: [email protected] 31 Imitate, and address to the top Read these words that I am about to put 1 1 2 2 3 6 4 7 5 8 ACROSS 2 Drier around restricted tool (6) floor (4-2) forth on this ‘ere paper. Consume them 6 Pleasing plant (5) with your cranium and repeat them 6 7 7 Instrument is back on the road (5) over and over in your consciousness. 8 Rest disturbed after former lover DOWN I will become a Felix Crossword set- 9 8 makes an effort (6) 1 Stressed in the past, perhaps (5) ter. I will become a Felix Crossword 9 Employment of universal wise man 2, 3 Eton held the f-word to be earth- setter. I will become a Felix Crossword 9 11 (5) shattering (3, 3, 2, 3, 5) setter. I will become a Felix Crossword 10 Embroidery is irritating, but has a 4 Nowhere to dance (5) setter. I will become a Felix Crossword 12 10 11 12 13 14 purpose (11) 5 Airline lie holds water (5) setter. I will become a Felix Crossword 17 Vital for music (5) 11 Punishment for cheesy flirtation (5) setter. I will become a Felix Crossword 15 16 19 Sorry to hear German sea feature 12 Competition for number one vessel setter. (5) (11) 14 17 18 20 In the fog nothing is wet (5) 13 On the beat, eventually (2, 4) Pseudonym 21 Start shiatsu around America for 14 Beat on skin (6) 19 20 food (5) 15 Swallow point to bay (6) Solution to Crossword 1,380 22 Blush from lying helps interpret 16 Turn metal in the back (6) 21 M A R I T I M E N R U S T I C images (5, 6) 18 Relish in August orgies (5) O C A U R E I T U C P O H I O 27 Tread down to send it on its way 23 Burnt prize (5) S A R G A S S O L S P L E E N (5) 24 Fight for piece of paper (5) A E I G N E S G U R E O D F T 28 God has a plate for vegetable (6) 25 Note: Study is heavy (5) I O T A S N I M P O R T U N E 22 23 24 25 26 29 Car carried by people (5) 26 Broken lamp from the East is C A Y A F I O I T D V O M A S 30 Sounds like I count a try (5) enough (5) S K I M O U N T O L Y M P U S 27 S R G I R S A I T T O S S E A P O L Y M O R P H O U S O F F 24 28 I A A E A U I S E B N L I U L T I D E W H E E L I G A N J A 29 30 F T R A R S S E I S S B A C W I C A R U S O S M I T H E R Y 26 31 R I G S N I N K I R E A K O E E N S I G N E S T A R T L E R Friday 5 October 2007 felix 35 [email protected] Sport The DOs and DON’Ts Sports league worth it’s worth it in the long run. cle. A statement, as if to say, “Don’t DON’T bring your entourage. Sure a worry guys, I’m fully loaded”. So come This year, Felix Sport is going to run a in to BUSA. training partner or two is a man’s best summer time, if you want to rock the league table for all the sports team at The ranking of the teams is based on friend, but if you and your whole crew sleeveless vest and open up your own Imperial. It will hopefully encourage the Felix Index (FI), which is calculated come to the gym, no work is going to gun show, you may want to build up a bit of friendly rivalry between the as follows: FI = (W*5) + (D*2) - (L*3). be done! Save the socialising for the your artillery now. teams and the clubs, and at the end Only teams with 5 games or more will library. This session will give your biceps of the year, an overall champion will be considered in the overall champion- DO ask for help. Being around some the most intense work out, leaving be declared. Below is the league table ship at the end of year. Good luck! of the biggest guys in Imperial (a rare them feeling burned out, weak, used where all of the teams competing in The league will start properly next species indeed) may leave you in awe, and abused. But embrace the feeling BUSA competitions are included, so week, once the first set of BUSA league but don’t be afraid to ask for help if you because with proper nutrition they if you want your scores to be counted, games are played. Also check out the don’t know what your doing. Big guys will grow back, and boy will they grow please make sure you send you results result and fixtures section below . have big hearts and we all love to help back. Now you can ditch the peashoot- the new breed, just don’t drool over the ers and pick up the twin Uzis. biceps. The preacher curls are essential for Team P W D L F A % FI DON’T show lift. By this I mean lift a good work out for the long head of Chiraush Patel 1 Cricket Men’s 1st 5 3 0 2 926 678 60.00 7 Mr. Muscle weights that you can’t do a single rep the bicep muscle. Using dumbbells, of, just to look cool. Other than injur- rest your arm on a bench and curl the 2 Badminton Men’s 1st 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 For most of you now, it’s been one ing yourself and occupying weights out weight stretching the muscle as far as 3 Badminton Men’s 2nd 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 week into the year, and though the al- of your league, you’re going to look like it can go, as in the picture. Use your 4 Badminton Men’s 3rd 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 cohol will have put pay to any memory a prick. other arm to give it a slight spot if you 5 Badminton Women’s 1st 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 6 Badminton Women’s 2nd 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 of the week, you can look in the mir- DO push yourself. In fact always need it. 7 Basketball Men’s 1st 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 ror and the story will tell itself. Mus- push yourself; if you don’t then there The ‘finisher’ for biceps is rope curls. 8 Basketball Women’s 1st 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 cle? Lacking. Definition? Hardly. Need are plenty of museums around campus Using the rope attachment to the ca- 9 Cricket Men’s 2nd 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 some advice? Get to the gym. to occupy your time. ble machine set the cable to the lowest 10 Fencing Men’s 1st 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 But before you grab your belly tight DON’T think the gym is your house: setting and curl the rope. Remember 11 Fencing Men’s 2nd 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 Nike Pros and run off to do some clean up your mess. Don’t just toss to keep good form- a straight back, 12 Fencing Women’s 1st 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 bench press, ask yourself do you really weights to the side like a cheap hooker knees slightly bent, elbows back and 13 Football Men’s 1st 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 know what you’re doing? You could when you’re done with them. Pack that your biceps doing all the work. Start at 14 Football Men’s 2nd 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 end up embarrassing yourself like an shit up! a weight which you can curl for 8 reps, 15 Football Men’s 3rd 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 inexperienced lover taken to bed for DO enjoy the experience, without it then lower the weight setting and start 16 Football Women’s 1st 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 the first time. Or at the very least your your not going to want come back any- again, then again, and again. Do it until 17 Golf 1st 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 misplaced machismo may rub some time soon. you can’t physically move those arms. 18 Hockey Men’s 1st 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 seasoned vets the wrong way. If you’ve They are not the biggest muscles in Then say hello to your little friends. 19 Hockey Men’s 2nd 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 never been to a gym before (the toilet your body, nor are they the most pow- 20 Hockey Men’s 3rd 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 where you do your heavy lifting doesn’t erful. The size of these bad boys may Felix takes no responsibility if you 21 Hockey Men’s 4th 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 count), then this simple guide is for not even give you an advantage in you break yourself in half whilst trying 22 Hockey Women’s 1st 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 23 Hockey Women’s 2nd 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 you. daily activities. But the biceps will, to lift weights that are clearly too 24 Lacrosse Women’s 1st 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 DO plan your gym session ahead of and always will be a showpiece mus- heavy for you. Man up! arriving to the gym. You don’t want to 25 Lacrosse Women’s 2nd 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 look like a pansy as you figure out what 26 Netball 1st 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 27 Netball 2nd 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 exercise to do next. Have a plan, which 28 Netball 3rd 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 muscles, which exercises, how many Exercise Sets Reps Rest time between 29 Rugby Union Men’s 1st 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 sets, how many reps. If you need a sets 30 Rugby Union Men’s 2nd 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 hand there are always sample sessions 31 Rugby Union Men’s 3rd 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 on this page. Chin ups 3 8-10 1 min 32 Rugby Union Women’s 1st 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 DON’T get a big ego. Whether 33 Squash Men’s 1st 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 you’re a newbie or a professional, you EZ- bar curls (rest pause) 4 8-10 2 min 34 Squash Men’s 2nd 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 can always learn something new from 35 Squash Men’s 3rd 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 anybody. I’m always looking for new Hammer curls 3 8-10 1 min 36 Squash Women’s 1st 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 exercises, new training techniques to 37 Table Tennis Men’s 1st 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 maximise my efforts in the gym, and so Preacher curls 4 8-10 30 sec 38 Table Tennis Women’s 1st 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 should you. Just because your muscles 39 Tennis Men’s 1st 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 are getting bigger doesn’t mean your 21 curls 3 21 1min 40 Tennis Men’s 2nd 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 head has to also. 41 Tennis Women’s 1st 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 DO keep hydrated. 2% drop in water Rope curls, 1 8,8,8, 20 sec 42 Tennis Women’s 2nd 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 is a 20% reduction in performance. You drop sets continuous to failure 43 Volleyball Men’s 1st 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 do the maths. You may have to go to (of each) 44 Volleyball Women’s 1st 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 the little boys room a little more but its 45 Water Polo Men’s 1st 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 What Mr. Muscle forgot to tell you last time... Alexander Fergusson educates us all on the other side of working out in the gym, the Post Workout Meal Alex Fergusson aging your muscle tissue. That’s right, a place in a PWM. to spend your beer money on expen- diovascular exercise (e.g. running) you’re damaging your muscle in the I my opinion the best form of PWM sive protein shakes? Well, fortunately you stop burning extra calories when So you’ve seen the Ethos gym and have gym. You build your muscle when would be a protein shake made with for you cheapskates Nature (in con- you stop the exercise. When you stop decided to turn yourself into an Adonis you’re outside the gym. When you fin- whey protein and any sugary drink e.g. junction with your local supermarket) weight lifting you keep burning extra or Aphrodite like figure then? Or per- ish your workout your muscles will be Coke, orange juice, etc… (Sorry, beer has provided you with a cheap substi- calories for days as your body rebuilds haps you just want to trim down those crying out for raw materials to repair and snakebites don’t count). That’s tute that is actually pretty damned ef- your muscles. Secondly, if you work bingo wings or fill out your shirt sleeves themselves and get stronger. The PWM right, it is not only ok to have proc- fective: Skimmed Milk. It has simple out hard your body will typically start a bit more? Well hopefully you’ll have is meant to give your muscles all the essed sugary drinks after a workout, it easy to absorb proteins in it (the whey to release cortisol after 40 minutes got an introduction at Ethos giving you materials needed to rebuild your mus- is actually a very good idea. The sugar protein in those expensive shakes are or so. Cortisol (sometimes called the an idea of what to actually do in the cle as fast and as strong as possible. will get straight into you’re blood and extracted from milk) along with some ‘stress hormone’) encourages the con- gym, but what do you do afterwards? So what should and should not be in up your blood sugar levels. This will sugar in a pretty good protein:carb tinued break down of muscle tissue for That may sound like a dumb question the meal? The first thing is protein, as cause a release of insulin which will ratio for building muscle. But you’ll energy and the storage of fat in your as the answer is obviously work/ Halo it is protein that will provide the build- drive nutrients (i.e. sugar and protein) need to drink 750ml or more of it (you fat cells. The PWM will shut down the 3/ pub/ etc… ing blocks for new muscle tissue. The into your muscle cells. Don’t worry, should aim to get 25grams of protein release of cortisol (good) and promote But that is not the answer. At least next ingredient is carbohydrates as this this is probably the one time of any day or more in your PWM). the production of testosterone by your it is not if you want to get the best re- will provide the fuel to power the mus- that eating sugar will not make you put But why would you eat after a work- body (also good). sults from your hard work. So what is? cle repair process. The PWM should on fat. The best protein to consume is out if you’re trying to lose weight? So work hard in the gym, but don’t Well pay attention know as I am about not contain fat of any kind as fat will powdered whey protein (mixed with There are two main reasons. Firstly, sell yourself short by missing out on a to let you in on what is the single most slow down the absorption of the pro- water into a shake) as this type of pro- it’ll encourage your body to build more PWM. It will become one of the most powerful toning, muscle building and tein and carbohydrates. I’m certainly tein will be rapidly absorbed into your muscle. Building muscle requires a important tools in your fitness toolkit. fat loss tool there is…the Post Workout not saying fats are bad as you’re body bloodstream and will start the recov- huge amount of calories and your body Meal (PWM). needs them, and some fats can be very ery process of your muscles ASAP. will use your fat stores to meet some Editors note: I’m sure Mr. Muscle When you lift weights you are dam- good for you. But fats just do not have What’s that you say? You don’t want of that energy requirement. With car- will have a reply for this next week Send in your sport reports: felix [email protected] sport High resolution photos only James Atteck If you wanted to see any sun this summer you had to leave England, and that is just what we did. This years hol- iday abroad was to the cycling haven of Cycling in the Alps Morzine in the French Alps. As you would expect from any group event the mayhem started well before Imperial College Cycling Club take a relaxing holiday in Morzine, France we departed. To start with we were flying out of Heathrow not long after the terrorist attack on Edinburgh air- port which meant that security was so tight that you felt guilty by just going to the airport. Houdini wouldn’t have been able to get out of there. That is if he was even able to check-in in the first place. Thanks to some bright spark at BA they no longer allow you to check-in in one go. First off, you have to go to what can only be described as a cash ma- chine with PMT that asks you where you would like to sit and then tells you that’s not possible. Now if you are plan- ning on flying out off the country don’t go out the night before, get hammered and then get mugged because you need to feed that angry check-in machine with a credit card that you won’t have. Similarly don’t use your mums card to book it if she’s not going to be there, and ALWAYS ALWAYS write down the confirmation number!! Finally after much more faffing than there needed to be we had checked-in on the machine, then at the luggage- drop off desk that you can’t actually drop luggage off if you have a bike box and gone through security. Thankfully the rest of the journey there was un- eventful, until we got to the chalet at 2am and Charlie had a 30 minute brain dead spell and couldn’t remember which chalet it was we were staying in. The next morning we were up bright and early. We had no choice really. There were no curtains in the main room and my bedroom shared a door with the bathroom so when someone decided to do their morning shave, shower and shi... I would be woken with the sweet smell of a freshly laid Charlie demonstrating his skills on a mountain bike whilst jumping over a hut one or either Basti knocking his ra- zor on the side of the bath like a wood pecker on speed whilst he shaved his if you are a roadie because they break is pretty much up or down most of the you can be forgiven for several meters. We were very lucky with the weather legs!! He is a roadie though. What do and then you are up shit creek without time, but there are a few flatter routes Les Gets had a couple of the best ar- and had sun almost the whole time we you expect? a compatible head lock and will have like Thonon-les-Bains at Lake Geneva eas with the bike park being great fun were there. The injury list was fairly After a traditional French breakfast, to spend the rest of the week riding a gives you fantastic scenery with rocks especially jumping over the hut at the short and the week passed very quick- Pain au Chocolate and baguettes we rental bike that your gran would laugh and wild waters as you cycle next to a start of the track and the 4X track also ly, with hundreds of kilometres ridden spent the next couple hours build- at. river on the D902. being another highlight in that valley. by everyone. Unfortunately Nathan ing our bikes ready to start the weeks And now a word from the lycra gang: The main purposes of going to Mor- Having the lift system is a godsend. decided to blow his knee ligament af- riding ahead all with the exception of …Although Morzine is very popular zine are the Alps, as you probably ex- Every time you get to the top of a track ter a couple of days, so he didn’t get too Nathan “The Beast”. And what did the for DH and XC, there is plenty of space pect where the easiest of climbs rival refreshed and raring for more you much done between fixing his bike and weight weenie learn? Never ever buy with good roads for us roadies. As you the hardest hills in England. The Jeux think of the dark days of pushing up breaking his knee. Luckily there were carbon fibre parts for your bike even might expect, with it being the Alps it Plane is just south of Morzine and the hills back in England. On two oc- no other major injuries except those to you have to climb for 10 km, ascend- casions we started our day at one end our egos and quite a few to our bikes. ing over 800 m to reach the top. The The last night we went to our regular roads are nice and quite with little traf- watering hole and as usual things got fic compared to London. After a fabu- “Riding the roads messy. Our resident Irishman showed lous descent you can head to the Col us that “just cos I’m Irish I’m not an al- de la Colombie. Riding the roads the the Tour de coholic! hick” as he chatted up a couple Tour de France passed two weeks ear- of 14 year olds and The Beast earned lier is just amazing. Although the Col France passed his name by transforming from a very de la Colombie is just rated category 1 well behaved first year, into the incar- (4 being easy and 1 being soul destroy- two weeks nation of the devil. With the help of ing), the climb is tough, especially the the right mixture of spirits of course, last 3 km. Once you are at the summit earlier is just namely and Irish depth charge. it’s an amazing feeling and you want to Luckily our flight out wasn’t till the feel the same pain and joy again. This amazing” afternoon so we had some time to re- climb was the best riding experience cover before we had to leave. But not of the whole holiday! Cycling around of the valleys in Les Gets and worked enough for some and flying with a hang Morzine was an absolutely amazing our way across the other valleys, going over sucks. And finally another top feeling and I want to do it definitely to the snow line height, and over the tip for flying, don’t put the following again. border into Switzerland riding as many in your hand luggage: foot long span- The downhill riding was excellent, trails as possible along the way. There ner with a hook on the end, two part some of the best in the world. The is a great variety of tracks from very araldite in tubes, wheel skewers, screw tracks are generally very well main- rooty, rocky and muddy technical stuff driver and penknife. People will not be tained except for several pretty bad sec- to fast speedway style courses that you happy and “but I was hung over when I tions of braking bumps, but when you just can’t help but slide the back wheel packed” will not fly with the angry men Basti on one of the scenic routes in the French Alps have so many kilometres to maintain out. in uniform.