The student newspaper of Imperial College

Issue 1040 FELIX November 10th 1995

Hope For Physicists Fuming Over Ban Linstead Bar

BY TOM STEVENS Last week's Linstead Hallowe'en party disturbances originally pro- voked the Rector to post an immediate and indefinite suspen- sion of Linstead's bar rights. However, College is now rueing its hasty action and is planning a more measured response. The celebrations got out of control after a fire alarm expelled drunk students from the festivities tak- ing place in the Hall's bar and caused high spirited exchanges with students of Southside hall. In an unprecedented move Alan Swanson, Pro-Rector (Educational Quality), personally attended a Linstead Hall commit- tee meeting to discuss the Photo: William Lorenz College's reaction to the ban. The BY THE NEWS TEAM including worries about the viding outdoor seating in the College's move to close the bar Students arriving at the physics image of the department and pas- patio area has also been rejected, was labelled as knee-jerk both by department this Monday were sive smoking risks. This came to a leading to most students being the Hall Warden, Earl Lancaster, met with a large number of head when one of the depart- forced to stand outside the and Sarah White. Members of the notices enforcing a new ban on ment cleaners, who are often pre- entrance to light up. This option Linstead committee took the smoking in the department. The sent on the landing above, suf- obviously has problems; firstly, opportunity to take their case to physics department was one of fered a chest infection allegedly litter has greatly increased partly the Pro-Rector presenting evi- the last to impose a complete aggrevated by the smoke. The due to the students anger at dence that the fire alarm had not ban: students were previously risk of legal action against the col- being ostracised, secondly the been set off in the bar but had restricted to smoking under the lege in similar cases has been said area is uncomfortable due to triggered in a sleeping student's main stairs. to be a major factor in this ban. cold, rain and exhaust fumes and room, and hence was a malfunc- Several complaints had been No alternative area has been pro- lastly the crowds outside the Continued on page 2 Continucd on page 2 received about this arrangement, vided, and the possibility of pro-

Careers Fair a Imperial Gains Top Success Assessment in Geology

Large numbers of job-hunting Imperial College triumphed again IC's geology department, students turned up to take with the announcement last along with those at eleven other advantage of ICU's annual week of the Teaching universities, received a rating of Career's Fair on Wednesday and Assessments made by HEFCE, 'excellent'. The research rating Thursday. the Universities funding body. from 1992 is 4 out of 5. page 3 pages 4 TWO . FELIX FRIDAY NOVEMBER 1 OTH 1995 NEWS College Rethink News in brief union cards to get in. BY TOM STEVENS AND Students who wish to exer- for Hall Bar ALEX FEAKES cise their right under the Education Act 1994 formally to Bar Steward Leaves opt out of ICU and CCU mem- Continued from front page mission pending further discus- bership, may now visit their local tion. They also pointed out the sion. Local residents will be con- Phil Eatock, a Bar Steward of Da Registry to record their decsion. high level of noise coming from sulted on the new scheme and Vinci's, resigned last week citing Students are advised that the the celebrations in Southside. their opposition to the develop- the increasing pressures of work only practical effect of opting out In response Mr Swanson ment would be highly undesir- for his leaving. Members of the will be that they cannot stand for admitted that the decision had able. bar staff were saddened by his elected office or take part in been 'arbitrary' and said that Earl Lancaster was pleased departure, commenting that he Union elections and referenda. with hindsight he would have with the meeting, saying 'the was a capable and well liked col- preferred to close the bars of Pro-Rector's presence at the league. RCS Homeless both Linstead and Southside. meeting was a positive move.' A However, he continued that as Hall Rep present at the meeting RCS Vice-President The Royal College of the first decision had been felt Linstead had done well, and Resigns Science are effectively threat- deemed to be rash, he preferred said that the Pro-Rector would ened with eviction from their not to make other decisions recommend that the bar is The RCS are left VP-less current premises in the Old without further consideration. reopened. Another point raised after the present incumbent, Chemistry building. College Further consideration should at the meeting was over the new Ruth Child, resigned last Friday, Estates workmen will be cutting take place over the next few days fire alarm system which has yet just before the RCS AGM. off all power, water and gas to in the form of a high-level com- again came in for criticism as it Although most of the posts at the the Grade II listed building at mittee meeting to decide the has proved to be far too sensitive meeting were filled, no one came the end of the month, in prepa- College's formal reaction. and generally unworkable. forward to be the new VP, ration for its eventual demoli- The College is keen to devel- The Pro-Rector again re-iter- despite suggestions that a Hall tion. op a policy on such occurrences, ated the College's commitment Re-app was interested in the job. The RCSU have been having and wants to be seen to be acting to an 'alcohol awareness' cam- lengthy consultations over their on complaints from local resi- paign, citing last week's fracas as Union Opt Out move from Chemistry, and had dents. This is due to the pro- an example for the need to stem Available been offered replacement acco- posed extension for Linstead, out the rise of drunken behaviour modation in a refurbished part of which is awaiting planning per- over the past few years. Nigel Wheatley, Assistant Civ Eng. However, the move has registrar, has invited students stalled until discussions over the who wish to 'opt out' of Imperial facilities for the new office, Smoke-Free Physics College Union to come forward. including a garage for the Under the Conservative RCSU's Fire Engine mascot, are Governments' higher education resolved. Continucd from front page Many physics undergraduates reforms of recent years, mem- doors are an obstruction and do feel that the department's social bership of the University Union Boating Disaster not help any image the depart- facilities are sorely wanting - is no longer automatic. However, ment is trying to create. there is now only the small and so few students at IC have A Rowing Club training excur- uncomfortable basement com- expressed an interest in resigning sion went disastrously wrong mon room with its poor and their membership that Imperial when a novice team 'eight' cap- unreliable food and drink facili- staff assume that all students will sized their boat in the middle of ties. choose to remain in ICU unless the Thames. Dr David Southwood, head of they indicate otherwise. Last Two of the club's crews physics, stated "I have ... almost year only two students out of a were racing when one of the uniformly received requests that possible 7500 exercised their boats lost control and slewed the department ban smoking in new-found rights. sideways. The cox, a novice oars- all public areas", yet it is estimat- Nonetheless, Matthew man himself, could do nothing to ed that nearly one third of Crompton, Deputy President stop the fast moving current physics students smoke and the (Finance and Services) has indi- from taking the boat down- number appears to be growing. cated that only 54% of students stream. The £10,000 boat collid- The department's decision is be have so far come to claim their ed with a mooring buoy and was an unpopular one and its conse- ICU membership cards. Union broken in half. Fortunately the quences are likely to be counter stewards will only accept college crew were able to release them- productive. The pressure is on swipe cards as proof of identity selves and swim to safety. "We the department to find an alter- for admission to ICU events until were lucky to have escaped with our lives." commented a relieved The offending document. native area. the end of November. After this point students will need to have oarsman. NEWS FELIX FRIDAY NOVEMBER 10TH 1995 . THREE Fresher HEFCE Funding Drops

BY ANDY SINHARAY out of 5 for its work, and it is this went on to say that improve- Death rating that is a multiplier for ments had been implemented in The Higher Education Funding receiving research money. The order to raise the quality mea- BY MARK BRIDGE Council for England has recently Volume Measure is measured sure, such as the setting up of announced its final grant alloca- annually, and IC has in recent Governor's Lectureships, set up Anisha Dixit, a First Year tions for 1995-6, which see years suffered in areas influenc- in response to "departments feel- Information Systems Engin- Imperial College receiving only a ing this. One factor was the ing the pressure of high staff-stu- eering student, died from pneu- small increase in funding. Though departure of senior staff for dent ratios". About 30 such lec- monia at the Royal Brompton IC is getting a 0.5% increase in other institutions, which in tureships have already been given Hospital last Tuesday. Her fam- what HEFCE calls "Transitional recent years has included Prof. out and "are already showing ily flew in from India to be with Relief", which will be cut next Patrick Dowling, former head of promise". With the various her just before her condition year and be reduced to zero the Civil Engineering, becoming vice- improvements in mind, Prof. detonated and she passed away. following year, the actual grant chancellor of Surrey University. Swanson was confident that any She had been feeling itself has fallen by 0.7%, which Whilst he felt that this in some funding drops, however minor, unwell during the first few some believe represents a "drop ways put Imperial in a good light, would eventually sort themselves weeks of term and went to stay in real terms". he said, "We have a lot of good out. Assessments, he added, with her aunt. However, shortly Talking to Felix, the Pro-Rector people who are attracted by juici- forced departments to re-exam- after seeing her GP she was for Educational Quality, er plums elsewhere." Moreover, ine their strategies and improve, he added that some of the "bright admitted to Kingston General Prof.Alan Swanson, said that the particularly in areas like research: promising younger people" who Hospital, from where she was drop could be attributed to vari- "A certain amount of pressure is have since replaced them would good," he said. But he dispelled transferred to the Royal ous factors. "They [HEFCE] only perhaps start to show the suggestions that it was becoming Brompton. have a formula for allocating... same amount of output as their easier for departments to A little over a week later she there are quality measures and predecessors in later years, in improve their ratings as they went into coma. After doctors volume measures". Quality mea- areas such as research, in order came to know more about how explained how speaking to the sures, he added, are conducted for there to be an improvement assessment procedures operated, comatose might help them, every four years and an assessed in a department's rating. He friends from Tizard, the hall department then receives a rating Continued on page 4 Anisha lived in, went to see her and talk to her, sometimes through the night. Unfort- unately, Anisha died four days later. Anisha came to Imperial College from Wimbledon High School, were she was an outgo- ing student who achieved excel- lent A level results. She was' highly spoken of, and many of her friends, members of staff, and old school-day friends were present at her side during her last few days. John Hassard, Warden of Tizard Hall, spoke of her kind and helpful nature and the deep sense of loss that was felt for her at the hall. Margaret Cunningham, the Ben Turner, ICU Deputy President (1990 - 91), enjoyed proving what great jobs IC graduates can get Senior Tutor on her course, was as he represented his firm, Andersen Consulting, at the 1995 Career's Fair. present at her funeral. She relat- ed how her father sang a beauti- BY JO PLUMBLEY ful moving rhythmic recitation For those looking forward to graduating in the near future, the 1995 Careers Fair offered the chance to in Anisha's memory. hunt out a suitably fulfilling post for the time to follow. A wide range of companies were invited, although Anisha was cremated, and ome students noted a bias toward Information Technology placements rather than Engineering and Science her ashes taken to India to be programmes. The companies seemed generally impressed with the outstanding quality of the students, and scattered in the river Ganges, students likewise were pleased with the companies available to them. Both, however, were united in their the great river that is sacred to opinion that splitting the venue over more than one room made it impossible to negotiate a quick tour, and Hindus. putting time delays on finding a firm made the event more tedious and tiring than it need have been. FOUR . FELIX FRIDAY NOVEMBER 1 OTH 1995 NEWS continued from page 3 tended to be cancelled out by as they were altered slightly from inflation, so the term "efficiency year to year. gain" was a "a bit of a misnomer". The Rating Game Teaching Assessments seem to He added that college's confirm the belief that a depart- research funding share was still BY ANDY SINHARAY things obviously move on...the ment which is strong in research very high compared to other uni- balance between teaching and will also be good at teaching. versities. "We have a bigger The last Times Higher Education research is difficult to get "There's a good correlation research grant than teaching Supplement reported that IC's right...but we are trying to between teaching and research... grant," he said, saying that the 1992 ratings for Geology and achieve that duality. I'm very [which] is nice for us," though proportion was between 60-40 Environmental Studies were happy with teaching though we he dismissed suggestions of collu- and 70-30. "Our mix of disci- both 4 out of 5 for research, with need to improve." Prof. sion as teaching and research plines includes none of the Geology receiving a teaching Worthington himself was assessments are conducted cheaper ones," he said, citing assessment of "Excellent". The Chairman on the national panel entirely separately and by differ- Arts and Humanities as exam- Head of Geology, Prof. Michael in 1992, and will be again in ent groups of people. As for ples. But he stressed that this Worthington, was pleased with 1996. This panel assessed all the whether or not he felt that the funding drop in no way repre- the research rating, which was Geology departments, and he teaching assessment was a fair sented trouble for the college. made in 1992. described having to leave the measure of a department's quali- "We're financally OK," he said, On being asked if it indicat- room whenever IC was dis- ty, he said he had "detected no "We hope to do as well if not ed that there was any scope for cussed. feeling that they'd [the assessors] better as in [the research assess- improvement, he said, "I entirely Assessment, he said, is a had made a really bad job of ment] 1992." agree...there is room for "very serious business" related to it...they've got an extremely dif- Improvements, he said, were improvement...[we will] attempt the amount of cash Imperial ficult job to do in the time they being made by raising staff-stu- to do better." However, the receives. "With a four, we get have to do it." Teaching Ass- dent ratios, and increasing teaching assessment was "almost less money than with a five." But essors are academics who also research output, though he faultless...one could almost get he did consider to assessment to have full time jobs as well as hav- added that this does increase big-headed except that we be fair, saying that there were ing to conduct the assessment. pressure on the staff. The next don't." The department has since some twelve excellent geology IC's Director of Planning, research assessment, due next taken on six members of acade- departments, not all of which Dr. Rodney Eastwood, felt that April, could be worth £100m mic staff. "The [research] assess- could receive the prestigious 5 any efficiency gains in teaching over the years 1997-2001. ment was made in 1992, and rating.

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Thursday, 23 November, 1995 at 7.30 p.m. at 74 St. James's Street, SW1 FEATURE FELIX FRIDAY NOVEMBER 1 OTH 1995 . FIVE

Why I love killing small animals"

Like hounds tired of the chase, For all the wailing and dence of a rough past but scratch and destroying their crops, have the unwashed ranks of saboteurs remonstrations of the dread- the mud away from their cheeks turned to the market to make a have (so far) given up on the locked herd, foxes must be killed and they're as fake as the country living. Hunters from America pay hunts. - they are a pest. If foxes aren't pubs they like to visit. Confused up to five thousand dollars a day Cynically one may draw the hunted then they would be shot youngsters carrying the emotion- to track wildebeest and shoot assumption that the higher pro- or gassed - methods that entail al burdens of adolescence and the them. The numbers set aside for file (and thus more profitable in substantially greater suffering middle class politically correct hunting are strictly controlled terms of subscription fees) veal than being instantly killed by guilt of their parents, and with a and in any one area amount to no export demonstrations have left hounds. morality based on the inane mut- more than 0.5% of the popula- the mob tired. Hunting is yester- The cocktail and clubbing set terings of transient heroes that tion. days news and more importantly, obviously don't see things the pepper their dormitory walls. In Africa, as in the English the bored housewives who so same way. They suffer from In a further twist to confuse countryside, there is a different valiantly joined their more vocal 'fluffy animal syndrome' - the the children, parents are now set of ethical principles that dic- children would be deterred by unshakeable belief that all cuddly waking to the realisation that tates the treatment of animals the prospect of leaping out at looking animals have a right to blood sports and hunting in par- and it is a system based on the horses on a wet Saturday morn- unique experiences and problems A 4 :& A & ing. of the region. Hippopotamus ML Mm m, The Greenham Common may be majestic and cuddly descendants aren't so clever "If foxes aren't hunted then they would beasts but they kill over 300 though (as evidence see how they Africans a year. We are fortunate try to stop trucks in the same be shot or gassed - methods that in not having to contend with migrating bison interfering with way as horses). It is more likely entail substantially greater suffering that the paradoxes, which lie at our daily lives. The imposition of the core of single interest issue than being instantly killed by hounds/' one set of (Western) principles groups, have defeated the cause derived from David of the campaigners. Attenborough documentaries, For example, townies com- onto the natives smacks of plain of clogged B-roads that take live regardless of the severe prob- ticular are not that bad - their Colonial missionary activity and them to work and back, but they lems that not controlling them former standard bearer, James the charge applies equally to would prefer the countryside can have. They impose their Barrington, the Chief Executive those who see our own country- wasn't carved up as a solution. views on the media unfriendly of the League Against Cruel side as an Arcadia devoid of any The yobs that plant themselves in country dwellers and make no Sports recently decided that harsh reality. tree tops and construct complex attempt to understand their hunting was "respectable". His The turning of the tide will underground warrens in order to ways. apostasy follows on the heels of undoubtedly cause hassles for preserve the countryside have an What the vociferous oppo- his predecessor, Richard Course. Mr. Blair, who is committed to a ingrained hatred of the traditions nents really hate are country The House of Lords declared a ban on hunting, not least because that enable the countryside to squires and aristocratic layabouts Wild Animals (Protection) Bill as the nations three million anglers maintain it's character. deriving pleasure from the whole unworkable and in order to save have joined the hunters and now And herein lies the real process. They argue that the ani- it, it was shorn of its anti blood represent a significant voting problem that has nothing to do mal suffers great stress from sports element. A recent Rural group peddling their own inter- with preservation or conserva- being chased for miles when it White Paper acknowledged the ests. The formation of the apolit- tion. We have become a Virtual could be destroyed instantly, but role of hunting shooting and fish- ical Countryside Movement by society and thus incapable of that misses the point entirely. All ing in the country. an American lawyer, Eric understanding reality. To the prey animals (including the Even in Africa, the unthink- Bettelheim, under the mediocre urbanites who oppose lambs and chickens killed by able is now a reality - game hunt- Chairmanship of Sir David Steel hunting, the countryside is a foxes) are constantly on the alert ing is returning. The conservation adds further momentum to the national park, a mock mediaeval for predators. It as they say, in policies to support the elephant cause of the rustics. inn, replete with brass fixtures their genes. Thus their stress is a have been so successful that The country bumpkins have and (ironically) copious refer- natural biological state and not there are too many of them. turned on the pack and the chase ences to hunting. What it most foreign to them. Some of them are flown to has only just begun. It will be a definitely is not, is a community. The ignorance of the pro- national parks. Others are culled bloody and hard fought fight A working environment. A whole testers is matched only by their in a cold blooded way. which will see the end of one society which revolves around it's hypocrisy. Bent double, dirty Elsewhere, the natives weary of party. You can be sure of one own ancient traditions and bat- faced and all facial appendages trying to maintain an agricultural thing though, death will, regret- tles to maintain it's economic pierced, they almost inspire sym- existence with the threat of tably, not be instant and painless. health. pathy. They carry all the evi- thousands of animals eating them RAG WEEK FELIX FRIDAY NOVEMBER 1 0TH 1995 . SEVEN RAG WEEK six . FELIX FRIDAY NOVEMBER 10TH 1995 Rag week events Beer! A guide to the beers and ciders on offer at the Rag Beer Festival.

Tuesday 2 1 st Brewery Beer Name Strength Wednesday 15th ( j Saturday 1 8th Concert collection Beer Festival 5NKPJ Arkells Kingsdown 5.0 S 9 Collect money at the Beautiful South concert - Wembley arena. Who Aston Manor Organ Grinder 6.0 An annual event organised by the RCSU for Rag, the beer festival is The Sponsored Nude Kamakaze Parachute Jump is a little event knows? You might even get to see some of the concert... Contact rag Banks and Taylor Black Bat 6.4 regularly the largest and most successful event of the week, with over where a group of people jump out of the back of a minibus wearing office for details _ Batemans XB 3.8 1,000 people turning up. This year boasts an extremely wide range of nothing but a grin (and maybe a few goosebumps) and run from Batemans Victory 6.0 beers from all over the country, from even as far afield as Orkney and Harrods back to the Union. If you want to do something silly or just Brakspear Old 4.5 the furthest reaches of Wales. watch then be at the Union Satuday morning. Brewery-on-Sea Ginger Beer 5.5 The festival is the largest non-CAMRA one in the country, boasting Bulmastif Son of a Bitch 6.0 over 60 beers and ciders which are listed here (se facing page). Also Butterknowle Conciliation 4.2 under consideration are a couple of other beers, for which we are Wednesday 22nd Butterknowle High Force 6.2 negotiating with the breweries. Cains Formidable 5.1 Obviously with 59 different brews, attempting to try all of them will a night in the bar. Concert collection Commercial Old Toss 6.5 be nearly impossible, but with such a quality selection make sure you A fun and relaxing evening where we all get together for a few beers Crouch Vale S.A.S. 4.8 get your taste buds around a few. (Although it must be said that the Make all those poor souls who have to attend the David Bowie con- and a good laugh. We may even buy you a beer if your nice to us. It Daleside Monkey Wrench 5.4 gentleman last year, who declined to drink anything other than cert at Wembley arena cough up even more. Much better that their promises to be a good night. Dent T'owd Tup 6.0 Marston's Owd Roger, on the grounds that he'd told his wife he'd money should go to Rag than line the pockets of the rich and famous. Felinfoel Double Dragon 4.2 only have one drink, will remain in my memory for many a year). Sunday 1 9th Thursday 23rd Gales Gold 3.8 Above all the beer festival is an enjoyable event and well worth turn- Gibbs Mew Deacon 5.0 ing up to, if only to get a glass engraved with your name and a quick guilds slave auction rag rugby Gibbs Mew Bishop's Tipple 6.5 pint after lectures finish on Wednesday. The RSM take on IC Virgins in this annual clash of the titans - always Starting at 12.15 in Union. A lunchtime event where you can buy a Goldfinch Midnight Blinder 5.0 Friday 1 7th a highly anticipated event, this is the highlight of the sporting year for slave to do all those little things that have been piling up since the Greene King Mad Judge ? many people! Playing at Harlington, contact RSM for details. start of term such as the washing up, laundry, get a meal cooked or H.B.Clark Burglar Bill 4.5 5 legged pub crawl you could sit back an relax while drinks are bought to you. Han by Black Magic Mild 3.3 Hook Norton Best Bitter 3.3 This is when Raggies go for a wander around as many pubs as possible Sponsored bunj ee j u/r»p Saturday 24th Hook Norton Old Hooky 4.3 in one evening and get to know the people they are tied to. This year's Hopback Summer Lightning 5.0 event is raising money for leukemia research. When most students should be in bed with a hangover then we get rag raid 4s^> even more silly and throw ourselves off a very high crane after attach- Kelham Island Golden Eagle 4.2 ing ourselves to it by a rubber band on steroids. Come along and fly To a mystery location. These are always great fun. We hit a town and Kelham Island Pale Rider 5.2 through the air in an experience that is pure adrenaline. Come and see collect loads of money .from its unsuspecting residents. They won't Marstons Owd Rodger 7.6 us soon as places are limited. quite know what's hit them when we arrive. Places are limited so McGuinness Feather Plucker 3.4 come to the rag office and book yours early. Mole's Tap Bitter 3.5 Morlands Tanners Jack 4.4 Further details of all events are available from the rag office which is Morlands Old Speckled Hen 5.2 above Felix in the union building. Anyone who would like to take part Nethergate Umbel Magna 5.6 Monday 2Oth in the SNKPJ, bunjee jump slave auction and rag raid, or if you would North Yorkshire Fool'sGold 4.4 like to help out at any of our other events should come and see us at Ridleys Witchfynder Porter 4.3 mines dirty disco lunchtime today (lpm Ents Lounge) or leave us a message. Ringwood Old Thumper 5.8 The less you wear, the less you pay. It's that simple. Any bloke arriv- Robinsons Hatters Mild 3.3 ing in a sock would obviously pay very little, as would a girl in only her Ruddles County 4.9 underwear. The only time you can get your kit off and not get Smiles Exhibition 5.2 chucked out of the bar (probably). How far will you go? Thwaites Craftsman 4.5 Tring Ridgeway 4.0 Wad worth Old Timer 5.8 Wadworths Farmers Glory 4.5 Wood Wallop 3.4 c5 / Wychwood Hobgoblin 5.9 Cider

Weston s Perry 4.5 Zum Zum Medium Scrumpy 5.0 Well, it's not exactly a week... more of a lunar week, a conceptual week if you will... oh, you know what we mean anyway... BUST-A-GUT comedy club Thurs 16th _L J A top reggae band fri. nov.1 Oth 2nd Avenue dan freedman plusliM tony burgess

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album:dubstar taa >in Male Genes: A Key to Female Breast Cancer October was breast cancer awareness month. Bringing the disease to the media forefront, it oudined the minimum standards of care that every women should expect. But how many men are aware that they are susceptible too?

ast year in Britain, breast cancer Some breast cancer sufferers are predisposed to Seeing Double Saves Lives claimed the lives of nearly 16,000 the disease due to a genetic susceptibility. In other women and 98 men. One in every words, you are Taking two \-rav mammc; i dilferenl twelve women in the United Kingdom more at risk if angles instead of one dramatically improves ill-, Lcan expect to develop breast cancer at some time in you have a chances of spotting breast tumours. This is the their life and of these cases 55% will prove to be mother, sister or finding of research commissioned by the Breast fatal. Only 200 men develop breast cancer each daughter who Cancer Screening Program, rcpoaed earlier this year, but in women the disease is by far the most has had breast hillietta Patix, f licet tor of the program, common type of cancer, leading to one in five cancer and this said the new method has been practiced by female cancer deaths. risk is intensified screening centres since August and has resulted Although male breast cancer is rare, scientists further if more in the detection of 24% more tumours in over believe that a small number of men could poten- than one close rel- 50s. However in younger women (who account tially hold the key to many inherited breast cancers ative has been for a third of all cases) it is much harder to spot in women. A affected. The team the disease. Jullietta explained, "Screening does- team of scien- at the Institute of n't work lor under 50s because die breast tex- tists led by Cancer Research, ture is different, but students at Imperial the Cancer led by Dr Mike Stratton, set out to examine the role College should not worry too much,, thankfully Research of BRCA1 in families which included cases of breast cancer in under 2 5s is very, very uncom- Campaign both male and female breast cancer. The big sur- mon." Her advice to all women is to become have been prise was that only a small proportion of cases were more 'breast aware', "If you notice any changes working on due to the already cloned BRCA1 gene. such as lumps or tough patches of skin you male breast They concluded from their research that there ' go straight to your CP." Thanks t< > < cancer. must be another 'mystery gene' in addition to em treatments, 85% of women now survive the Together with BRCA1 which, while indicating a genetic predis- disease, provided it is detected in its early stages. colleagues in position to develop breast cancer, also results in a Meanwhile, Professor I Iugh Simpson, based America and high risk of male breast cancer. at Glasgow's Royal Inlin Europe, they Researchers involved in the human genome pro- special bra designed to IT have discov- ject are currently working towards the isolation and breast temperature. The ered that BRCA1, the gene thought to be widely identification of this mystery gene. They then hope like a normal bra and mea involved in inherited breast cancer, is not responsi- to develop a test for the faulty gene, so that those sures the breast tempera ble in families which include men who suffer from who have inherited the gene could be identified and tore over a period of days the disease. offered screening while those who have not could Professor Simpson hopes \ be reassured. it will offer significan improvement in cance Are You At Risk? \ onion fifty Increasing age is the Breast cancer - UK 1986 most significant factor Healthier future: which increases the risk ocedures of developing breast can- detect > imvntn cer, but family history, not having children, starting rr-1 TV 11 periods at an early age and obesity have all been The Pill linked to the disease. pill Other factors, which are to stt i .'vcloping I IX! still under evaluation, ;|§§|to:ih high risk group dug

include:- ii . . : n'ai VHigh fat diet lias already been used sf||

^Prolonged use of oral 80-85+ the contraception Imperial Cancer Research Tllld VAlcohol Low risk for the under 25s: only >/Stress 21 cases were reported in 1986 Moya Gallagh baker horns with one of Paddy simon Ashdown's political researchers Ghassan Karrian. ULU President, and prospective LibDem parlia- Labour Councillor, available for mentary candidate at the next n weddings and bar mitvahs. I don't I election. Now, dear reader, you will i i know what it is, but I have my probably have guessed by now that doubts about him. The fact that I am not of this political persuasion. j ! he was elected unopposed struck That said, I do have considerable me as unfortunate, although, of respect for the Liberal Democrats. course, not his fault. His alleged OK, they've got more than their role in the Union Bar raid last year |H| fair share of daft policies, but at | | still has not been cleared up to the |H9b least they are straight down the line

:'A^A^A satisfaction of most people. Until about them, which is more than flflfi recendy, I thought I might be can be said for Tony Blair's mob. being a touch paranoid, but after reading Their obsession with constitutional reform as the I I Nooman Haque's excellent article, it's nice to cornerstone of any future Liberal government or r i know I am not alone [Mind you, Nooman, I deal in a coalition and their insistence that simply wouldn't pin your hopes on a Christmas card adding a penny to income tax will solve all the ills from our own Pres). We, like the Kings students in the education system do not bear inspection, before us, seem to be mere pawns in the Karrian but they are clear manifesto pledges on which game plan designed to propel him into they may be judged. Discussing politics with Westminster. It has been shown beyond doubt someone who makes it her business to know by the NUS that overtly political student repre- everything about everything topical is no picnic. sentation is a dangerous and counter-productive I survived, but not without the odd scar or two. thing, which ends up satisfying the leadership's I heard on the news that the Merseyside desires and aspirations at the expense of the rank Fire Brigade were striking on November 5th. 1 and file membership. As Nooman points out, it This latest move in a long series of industrial is a fair question to ask whether Mr Karrian is action proves that there are no depths to which using the University of London students as a test the trade unions will not sink. Supposed profes- bed for Labour policy on higher education. If this sionals with a vocation to serve the public who is so, it is scandalous and pressure should be try and hold the authorities to ransom are not fit brought to bear on him by the other members of to be employed in the emergency services. It is the ULU Council. As for the duplicity of our about time that no-strike agreements were own President, I wouldn't like to say. I haven't established in this field, as practised by the met Sarah and have heard very little about her police. actions as president (no bad thing, some would It has been suggested by some people that say). It does seem however, that she is a little too my repeated, glowing tributes to Southside Bar eager to jump into the ideological sack with are a vain attempt to gain free beer. This is Ghassan. I like to use the 'Used Car Test' i.e. absolutely untrue for one very good reason. It would you buy I'm afraid that, for my money, never occurred to me, but thanks for the tip! I'll not change my motor. Finally, I know I'm not employed for my musi- Speaking of politics, I am writing this week's cal tastes, but go and buy the new Pulp album. column after spending a couple of hours locking It's brilliant. Not 'arf.

book: terry pratchet - more specific trunks) showing that it does not necessarily go in for asexual reproduction a la The interesting times,andle s Sorcerers Apprentice. It is a pity, however, that Rincewind's well honed strategy of dealing with -H Price £4.99 ixij -i This book is a good indication of why Terry pretty much everything, the method called run- Pratchett is so popular. Although Interesting ning away from and letting the to work itself out, Times, his 16th Discworld novel, is far from his is indeed Rincewind's strategy for dealing with best, it is still an amusing, and hence worthwhile, pretty much everything. read. As well as the gags, there is increasingly Maybe Terry is trying to be politic in giving within Terry's works a more concrete story. all of his favourite characters a turn, because this Although this makes for a more coherent read, I time the main lead returns to the hero of the first felt that this book, at over 300 pages paperback, two novels - the wizzard Rincewind. Catapulted was a little too drawn out, and unlike earlier by the machinations of the inhabitants of the books was not a one sitting read. Also, chapters Unseen University into the Agatean Empire - the would be nice. Discworld equivalent of China - Rincewind If you are a dedicated Pratchett fan, you are learns only too well why the saying 'May You going to read this (whatever I say), and probably Live In Interesting Times' is a curse. The time in enjoy it. If you are not, start with Guards! question is that of a revolution by overly respect- Guards! instead. ful peasants, an attempted sacking by a group of [Pratchett will be at Forbidden Planet three nonagenarian barbarians, and wood (or to be weeks tommorow.] celluloid guide:.ttii ! ..1

Just a few of the films still odeon kensineton showing around London.... crimson tide 1145,3.40, 6.35,930 the net 1.50, 7.00

fcnch kiss 1.40, 4.20,7,9.40 film: crimson tide^ film: clueless'spook y to die for 2, 4.35,7.10,9.45 From the stable that brought us Top Gun and In a similar vein to Heathers but considerably less Days of Thunder comes another fast action movie, satirical and more lightweight, Clueless pokes gen- but this time it's set underwater. de fun at the rich kids of Beverly Hills. Gene Hackman is hard-ass Captain Ramsey Alicia Silverstone plays Cher who, with her £3.50 before 5pm of the submarine USS Alabama, while Denzel best friend Dionne, are the resident ultra-popular ifc.::'AAA;:i;?s Washington is Hunter, Ramsey's cool and level- glamour queens at Beverly Hills High. Cher is 0171 370 263a headed executive officer. When they receive a essentially good-hearted and loves nothing more towong foo 1.40, 4.10,6.45,9.15 garbled message to launch a tactical nuclear strike, than using her position to help others, especially in duefcss 1.4(1,4.10.7.1(1 debate becomes mutiny; Hunter relieves Ramsey making over the 'clueless'. But in the process she of command and the crew's loyalty is split. The finds that she is clueless herself, particularly in change of command occurs amid an intense esca- matters of the heart. die bridges of madison countv lation of red alerts, white knuckle developments Nothing much really happens but by never 12.20,6.10 and catastrophes. pretending to be more than it is, the film remains apollo 13 3.10, 9.00 The script is more entertaining than films nor- engaging throughout, is often highly amusing and tube; south ken th.ni bus mally associated with this genre but ultimately even has some surprisingly sharp observations. i 6, £3.50 students and before fails to create any significant degree of depth, despite doctoring by Quentin Tarantino. Filled film: the bridges of rngra chelsea with the expected testosterone-charged posturing 0171 325 5096 and adrenaline-pumping sequences, this is madison countyspook y to die for 1.40,4.10, 6.40,9.20 nonetheless one of Tony Scott's best films to date ftwKh kiss 1.30, 4.15,6.50,9.30 and one of the few good action movies this year. The film version of the best-selling novel has Clint Eastwood as Robert Kincaid, a National tube; .done square then bus Geographic photographer doing a story on cov- pooky film: il postino. ered bridges. After asking directions from an Based loosely on real life events, the film focuses Italian-born housewife, Francesca Johnson (Meryl renoir 0/71 8378402 on the unlikely friendship between the renowned Streep), a passionate four day affair begins. il postino 1.30, 3 50.6 15, 8.35 land and freedoui1 .43, 4.05,6.25, Chilean poet Pablo Neruda, exiled in Italy, and his Despite the ubiquitous crickets and corn- simple stand-in mailman Mario Ruoppolo. fields, and a disruptive flashback structure ^^^^^^^^^^^ tube; russefl square The unworldly Mario lets Neruda introduce through which Francesca's children discover jour- £6, £4 1st perf, £2.50 students him to the world of poetry and is soon success- nals of the affair after her death, Clint Eastwood fully seducing the local beauty. This is a film of still knows how to direct. Two fine performances minora 0171 369 1723 characterisation not plot (an unknown phenome- from the leads help avoid the trap of slushy senti- carrington 6.15,8.45 non in Hollywood), helped by two exquisite per- mentality. tub-; you can walk it formances by the leads. Despite the obvious turn-off of middle-age A charming film in the Cinema Paradiso vein. love this is still a gentie, tender tale directed with style. prince diaries film: the usual suspects^ blue juice fri at 4pm (£1.50) Not many films can claim such a laid back atmos- film: apollo 13magpi e phere which lulls the viewer into a false sense of A real life disaster story which puts all those 70s security right up until the end, when you finally movies to shame with its energy and excitement, niui-k'i's wedding sat 4pm learn the truth. Some may claim that The Usual this is surely one of those films you can't miss. Suspects has that Tarantino feel to it, but this is a Apollo 13 is a 'docu-drama' of NASAs third expe- death and the maiden sun 1.30pm truly original affair (and even has a title relevant to dition to the moon. When a routine stirring of the Chungking express sun 3.45pm the film!). oxygen tanks causes an explosion, the crippled dolores daiborne sun 6pm Roger Verbal' Kint (Kevin Spacey) is one of spacecraft is in danger of never returning home. the adveniiin*s of prisdfla, queen the only two survivors of a shipboard massacre, Even though the outcome of the film is Av?3l^31Sli^HliiSS::# and as he recounts his story to FBI agent Kujan known, director Ron Howard is able to maintain blue juke mon 1.30pra (Chazz Palminteri), the story of a Hungarian arch the suspense factor during the events in between. AiSl^^illllllSSil: criminal evolves. This is the same crime boss The best performance comes from Ed Harris whom Agent Kujan is after, but who may or may who plays Gene Kranz, the head man at mission once were warriors wed 1,30pm not actually exist. Gabriel Byrne also stars as an control whose calmness and leadership never fail ex-cop who reluctantly leads the merry men on the three astronauts. pulp fiction wed 3,45pm(£1.50) the heist. The largest surprise is that all the spectacular tube, leicester square The script is well-planned with twists and footage is original to the film - none of this NASA 12 all seats unless marked other- oddball occurrences whacked up on the screen archive business. Suspense in a tea cup filled to when you least expect them. Fewer guns and the brim more brains. festival guide film: haramuya^my between the old and the young. fridny lOnuv The plot centres around a single stories 4 with dned eyes 8.30 Drissa Toure's Haramuya is not a family headed by a religious and odeon v < st cm 11 nudag:tM.ar skin film that will slip down the slimy L3Q & 630 rasidboaeath 4 & 9 culverts of mainstream cinema, traditional man, and follows his son though this is no excuse to miss it. as he breaks away from the pres- ill- io real man 830 odeon west end 2: the grotesque Seek it out at the arthouses, and sures of his extended family and 1.15 & 6.15 unstrung heroes 3.45 don't expect pretence. tries to make something for him- oh new cirectoi it (i) 2 xenolith 4 &S.45 'Ioure is a strictly self-made cin- self amongst the corruption and the kingdom 6 nft 1: the promise. 2 & 630 held! ematographer and hence doesn't poverty. fldss - hoitywood madam - 4.15 die cater to the usual etiched symbol- The film has a 'Slacker' style, sunday 12 nov promise 6.30 interview - helen bon- ism and tiresome allegories that are switching ambiguously between odeon west end 1: god's comedy ham carter - 9 modem film's signposts. scenes and leaving die message 1.45 on the beat nft2: hot night 1.45 & 6.15 soul His second picture, Haramuya subtly disguised. By the end you 5.15 the brothers paints a physical portrait of feel that you know the city and mcmullen. 9 museum cinema: phenomenal! Burkino Faso's capital understand something of the peo- d2: flamenco by ' 50 eourtazar 8 30 Ouagadougou (og-a-doo-goo) ple there. There is plenty of 'sub- 30 am dangerous -: while the film's style and attitude plot' and humour too. Haramuya minds 2 babe 4,3 0ksnlserabks7 brilliandy captures the social side. should prove enjoyable and insight- nftklondbncalli ng 11 am to you benjamenta 430 & 9 A changing city where tensions are ful for anyone who's mind remains from me 2 sc vendayslorKKBi high between the police and the free of the detritus of the 4.15 jump into die void 6.30 the Saturday 11 nov people, the rich and the poor, the Hollywood thriller-violence-sex Hack holes 8.45 odeon west end 1 sukivaki 1 broth- black and the white, the moslem flaUilence. nft2; the mussuln tan 1.45 school 4 ers in trouble 3.3(1 mute witness 6 and the atheists but mostly Irving it up 6 15 die bird's singing odeon west end 2: innocent sleep 1.15 salaam cinema 4 glastonbnry museum una:ia : wall of silence 6. i 5 shdia's surprise 8.45 ghost in 6.30 in the uei;^ibourhoo d 8.30 the shell 11.30 tea: siao yu 1 la m this window is nftl: a different take 10.30 am Its FILM FESTIVAL! yours 2.15 ah gela 430 bfi new frank and ollie 12.45 good men, directors (ii) 6,45ne w jersey drive 9 good women 2.45 sddom and gotnorrah 5 heidi fleiss 9 FILM ON TMZ SQUARE pick up a free jurogra m from nft, INTO TICKET BOOTH r Waterloo bridge. nft2: continues over there & 2-19 NOV '95 liaCKSTER SQUARE

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111 ley * £23 aULson moyct 6 dec - royal albert . .... album: perfection: album: built to spill: tr.y -1811 a perfeeto compilation,iau l shore there's nothing wrong the stone roses + manic with lovenck There has been an abundance of dance compila- wembley - £16.50 tion albums around lately, but Perfecto has stood Built to Spill sound like Blind Melon ought to ga||| uabail out amongst the crowd as a label achieving great and in that respect they get rated pretty well. II. !5de< - vvembley-16 commercial success whilst still maintaining its Typical angsty American pop mixes with funky de|*P: integrity. guitar and rhythmic percussion create an infec- Mixed by Mr. Perfecto himself, Paul tiously toe-tapping sound. Oakenfold, 'Perfection' contains the cream of Opener 'In the morning' builds from a the crop with well known tunes, such as 'Not plaintive solo voice to an excellent axe-led over yet' by Grace, alongside excellent under- crescendo. 'Fling' shows off some natty acoustic ground tunes. Man With No Name's song called fretwork while the delightfully titled 'Distopian 'Floor essence' shows exactly what Perfecto is all dream girl' mixes funk, pop and shouting about about - it's a great tune with a harder, trancey unrequited love. 'Big dipper' is arguably the best street) in cash. edge. track on the album - a chunky guitar opening and Once again, Paul Oakenfold has let his mix- then a crash through four minutes of pop. ing talent shine through. There may be better The Foo Fighters have picked Built to Spill dance compilations but they will be few and far to support them on tour. Why not support them between. (8) too? (7) singles!;..* gig: dissident prophets breed - a vocalist with a supremely melodic voice that actually sounds purer and more wholesome inffncck - everybody be Okay. This is it. The scoop you've all been wait- on stage than on disc. Tom Livermore is the best somebody p.p?'; II pipPP P. P PPPIP' PP:II ing for. Just remember that in a few months, or guitarist I've heard in aeons. Loud, soft, aggres- tune is this good? Head maybe even a few years time, when the music sive, pensive. You name it, he plays it. Not that press are wetting themselves over a young this is some Eric Clapton or Joe Satriani, self- Masters at Work mix. Brummie band and gushing forth phrases like, styled guitar guru whose artistic, musical head "the best band this country has produced for got lost up a rear passage long ago. No, this is Kxjitie mitt featuring bryan years"... just remember that you read it here someone with a God-given talent who's using it |P$BPPPfMS^ first. to imbue, embellish and deliver the band's music IpPPP-PPlplPK Now you might just be iftinking, "Calm with soul, gut. feeling and splendour. And then PPpP|P|:pPPP^ down and take a there's Simon f P|§tP|;:^ cold shower, 'Smudge' Smith |f|: i: '^j/. 'T >vi ".: "P | P|l P>|1P|| Vik." Then and John Large ; again you might who could prob- |PvPkPP!P:"PP;PP|P^ ably keep a P#<^45PPPblP^ just be nodding : your head sage- rhythm going if PIPPP 'P:,P5llPPP iP|Pi, they were play- PI ' - P? ly and mum- bling quietly, ing in a band ;;l.1^^k.::i .P;;(k'; ;k:v^=: : ;;|Jj;;. "Yep. He's lost with a couple of it." But, please, tone-deaf, musi-

; ;|PP:|;:::,:';PJ ;^k;:j;p":'::iP/:P:i*PlP|:pi-pi let's look at the cal heathens. evidence. Which they Dissident aren't, as you job she's done too. Prophet were know. Case signed after only almost closed. . sheryi crmv - what I can do their second gig when they weren't even a prop- And if you don't care about any of the above il SPlPPiP then listen to the songs, all of them necessary and [ er band and were still playing for a laugh. Good ;j:pPP H::yyfj:^WB'B^B^4 sufficient for any condition. Witness start. They've released a single called P ;:PPI ;;:|: | |;|l; P||| -|l PP|I: , j|||' || 'Unconditional love' and truly understand the ; : : :; ; :H y V : : 'Generation X' that weaves golden threads of II |J;,..'^Pl::|:|^|:| ^ "P P-|.:l l|: I! :PP :-l p;| ^PPP": I: Pll meaning of the word beauty. An epic that speaks : loud guitars and says more as an observation of the gospel tmth when many around are feeding PPIPPPPPP youth culture than most bands will fool them- us with lies, it builds from an awe-inspired peace |iPP|PP||PklPlP'|i> selves into thinking they're doing in a lifetime. ;; : : ; to a climax that wall send shivers up your spine sPPP P.I'PlPPilffll iPltPt Still going strong. but leave you feeling warm inside. Truth and Live, they excel and play like their lives : beauty. What more could you need? Verdict: the --|| I ; \|p"pp::;': depended on it, even when faced with a thim- best new band in Britain. Case dismissed. (11?) ble-ful of locals at a pub like The Swan in Fulham. Andy Jennings is one of a very rare st time

Pp|Pl?ip album: dubstar - disgrace- ing from the radios. It is almost too embarrassing to admit that I like Dubstar. Sarah Blackwood's voice simply embraces you with a renewed sense of child-like optimism. Steve Hillier and Chris Wilkie pro- vide the musical landscape to complete a world that pop so often claims to achieve but usually fails. ppPPli Delving into the lyrics, tales of casual sex, physical violence and possibly even the end of the world start to emerge. It will probably leave you humming the phrase, "I'll watch the stars go out", silly before the meaning of it finally hits you. Slothing special There is a certain depth to Dubstar's songs that belies their music. If the Manic Street Preachers are about life at its brutal tmth, and Once in a while, an album come along that dis- Drugstore are about the life we live, then pels all previous perceptions and blurs the sig- Dubstar are probably about living and embracing ;-};plP nificance of the boundaries dividing rock, indie life with a smile. While that may be too nice for some, it will probably balance out all the pain and PPlliil and pop. Even the guitars will not be missed because the essence of all that we love in music drudgery of life that fills up your average, is there. 'Disgraceful' is an album that captures respectable CD collection. music at one of its glorious moments and pro- 'Not manic now' is playing on the air. Listen vides a great relief from all the pop music blar- and decide. It is simply a lovely record. (7) in the name of Mafu the "Beneficent, the Merciful NETSPEDITICW

Path to Paradise A team from Imperial is presently organising an Mu 'Aaliyah. 12-2 pm, Mon 13 Hgv expedition to the Amazon rainforest. The expedition Mech.Eng 220 will involve a thousand mile river journey along the Judgement Day Xingu tributary of the Amazon and will take place during the summer of 1996. 5\bu Muntasir 6-8 pm, lues 14 Hgv Mech.Eng 342 minibus available for sisters The unique feature of this expedition is that using mobile communication, the team will run a Between Extremism and Rejection] continuously updated Web site so the expedition ... The Balanced Character can be experienced interactively in real time. Most tiisham !Ai-ftwadi 12-2 pm, 'WedIS Hgv importantly, the principle aim of the project is to Mech.Eng 342 show that research in a very inhospitable region can Muslim Exhibition a be carried out remotely by scientist and students guiding the team through the Internet link. 12-2 pm, 16'Hgv Mech.Eng Foyer Sounds crazy? Well it is and we are looking for one Panel Discussion more highly enthusiastic lunatic to join the team. on He/she will have a life science/medical background *x the State of the Ummah Speakers including and must be capable of organising the research and llstadh 'Kpnal-d-Hdbawi & SuhaiS Hasan establishing links with the scientific institutions prior 6-8 pm fri 17 Hgv Mech.Eng 342 to departing. Owing to the nature of the expedition minibus available for sisters he/she will be physically fit and must be able to Non-Muslims welcome survive without Baywatch for 2 months. Interested? then email Matthew [email protected]

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it DIARY FELIX FRIDAY NOVEMBER 1 OTH 1995 . SEVENTEEN

friday Saturday Sunday lO november november november

Rag Meeting Gliding Club Gliding Club 1.10 pm Ents Lounge. (R) Gliding at Lasham Airfield. (R) Gliding at Lasham Airfield Contact [email protected] Pakistan Society Saturday Come to Thursday meeting first. (R) 3.00 - 5.00 pm basketball practice in the union gym. Bring trainers! Contact Kashif, Fitness Club aero II, [email protected]. (R) Explosoc 2:00pm Intermediate Aerobics (R)

Ents On Thursday Nov 16th at 6pm in Bio W2, Sunday The third of our hugely successful Bust-a- Jack Jackson will be giving a lecture titled gut Comedy nights, this week featuring Dan 'Exploration for a living'. Jack is one of the Freedman, with support from Mancunian world's most experienced explorers. He has Matt Crompton Tony Burgess. Dan's been described by undertaken a total of over 150 expeditions, Melody Maker as "the best young comedian including an amazing total of 23 to the Our Deputy Pres would like to point out on the circuit". Doors 8pm. First act on Sahara. He makes his living from writing, that a mere 54% of you have union cards. He stage 8.30. £2.50/£2 with Entscard. photography and lecturing. says you've all got to remember that if you If you just want to dance - "Climax", To be able to hear a such an don't get one, you can't vote for next years' top tunes from 10-2 am - £1/free with experienced explorer talk to you should sabbaticals, which is a bit ironic, really. Entscard. prove both informative and inspiring. We If you want one, nip over to the union invite all those with any interest in office with that bit of paper you got when friday exploration- both experienced and non you registered, and they'll sort you out. And experienced, active and passive, to attend. if you ask nicely, they'll get you a card, too.

Universities were fighting it out for two Boardsailing distinct trophies: the Loxbridge cup, a Bust-a-gut closely-fought contest between Oxford Last year the boardsailing club enjoyed Cambridge and London, whilst the overall First up at last week's National comedy success in several events in the student cup (a natty little silver one) can be won by network was Jason Freeman, who has a windsurfing race calendar. This started with any University team. London won both cups mixed start with a predictable-but-good set; the brass monkey regatta organised by this year. This on top of the fact that London "I bought my fox a new leg for his birthday. Oxford University. It was a tough event due has won the Loxbridge cup two years running I bought it from the Body Shop, but they to the cold and total lack of wind, and a real should make for an interesting fight this year. don't test on animals so when I got it home test of stamina for those poor sailors who get During the Easter holiday the club it didn't fit." On the whole most of the time away with sailing in shorts and a harness back entered the BUSA competition at Christ- was spent waiting for him to get to the home, but IC won the event. church. In gusty offshore winds Imperial point, which is a shame as warm-up acts Next was the Veloce challenge organised fought hard, and won division two in the should really be a little more punchy. by Cambridge at Grafham reservoir. One of course racing. Then came the mother of all At this point the interval arrived and I our sponsors, Bic sports, provided brand new student events: the Clacton National Student turned around to see that the ents lounge boards with brand new sails for the event. We Windsurfing Championships. IC dominated was almost at capacity, with people sitting were the first people to sail them in the UK. the volleyball court but lost one of our best on any flat surface. Alan Parker's reputation The racing was very close and required sailors to a broken thumb, and this might and previous performances were obviously great commitment from the London team account for our lower position in the racing. the main pull for the evening. Unobtrusively which contained many an Imperial sailor. The The apres-windsurfing was very good and we on stage himself to set up his props, he enjoyed ourselves at the Mayor's civic looked distinctly Mark Horne-esque in his reception and the night-club afterwards. clothing. The next time I saw Alan he was I can't stress enough the fact that dressed for his act, with awareness ribbons student windsurfing is about good times in everywhere, wild-eyed and with the mother the evening with epic days on the water. of all bad hair days. His show was typically Don't worry about being good at the sport as manic and fast-paced, and if you see him all events cater for beginners. The club also again I recommend the third row at the has a heavy schedule of fun trips to a variety closest - this is a scary guy. He was also of locations. For more information then extremely funny, finally bringing the contact [email protected] or pop a message in the audience to life and even being heckled. Chem Eng pigeon hole addressed to Chris The evening was good value at £2.50 Newlands Chem Eng IV, or the athletic clubs but it was a shame that the first acts were so pigeon hole under B for boardsailing. lacklustre in comparison to Parker. EIGHTEEN. FELIX FRIDAY NOVEMBER 1 OTH 1 995 DIARY

Finance Society X-country Club

Goldman Sachs will be giving a talk on "Careers In Investment Banking"on Tuesday 14th at Having read recent reports in Time Out 5.30 pm. For further details contact T.Javed, Management 3rd year, e-mail [email protected]. regarding alcohol consumption at IC we feel that the cross country team has not met its expected quota of units per week in recent monday tuesday years. For this reason we have decided to introduce an initiation ceremony: drinking a 13 14 pint a minute until the initiate chucks. We november november challenge other teams to such events, the scoring consisting of the total number of Student Industrial Society Cathsoc pints drunk before chucking. We believe this Meeting 12.00 - 2.00 pm. In tennis room Sir Leon Bagritt Centre, at 12.00 pm. will increase club membership and promote upstairs in Union building. (R) Level 1 Mech Eng. (R) the image of IC as a whole. Our race last Wednesday went well, IC Fitness Club IC Sailing Club men coming 3rd overall, and the women's 12:30pm Beginners Body Toning (45 mins) Come and see us in Southside Upper team coming 2nd. We think this was due to 5:30pm Beginners Aerobics Lounge, 12.45 - 1.45 pm, to arrange a sail, the added courage and lack of inhibitions 6:30pm Intermediate Aerobics (R) have a gossip, etc. Everybody welcome! .(R) afforded by fifteen pints and two curries. Anyone interested in joining the X- Jewish Society Finance Society country club should contact t.spicere or Bagel Lunch. SCR in the Union. 12.15 - Talk on "Careers. In Investment Banking". [email protected]. 1.15pm. Info : [email protected] 5.30pm. (see above)

Ski Club Circus Skills Wednesday 12.30 - 1.15 pm, Southside Upper Lounge. Come along and learn to juggle! y (R) 5 - 8pm. Union Lounge. 15 Concert Band More info : [email protected] (R) 5.15 - 6.45 pm. Great Hall, Sherfield. Any november ability. [R] Fitness Club IC Sailing Club 5:30pm Advanced Aerobics (R) Cross Country Meet 12.15 pm outside Southside to go sailing. (R) Circuit training. 5.00 pm Union gym. (R) Haldane Library Skate Society Purcell recordings recital by Timothy Day, IC 2nd Orchestra Curator of Western Art Music, National Meet 12.15 pm Southside Lounge. (R) Sound Archive, and broadcaster. Great Hall, 7 - 9 pm. All welcome (R) Haldane Library, 5.30pm. Free. Consoc IC Bridge Club 1.00 pm, Mech Eng 748, John Gummer, ICCAG 6 pm in the Clubs Committee Room, Secretary of State for the Enviroment. 8.15 pm, Weeks Hall basement. Soup run Union Building. (R) Fitness Club for the homeless. (R) 15pm Beginners Aerobics ArtSoc icsf 00pm Beginners Step Aerobics 9.30 pm, Union Dining Hall. Well, we are doing something at 7pm. 00pm Intermediate Aerobics Come and sign up for the many trips to http:Awww.ph.ic.ac.uk/moontg/ (R) musicals, plays, ballet, opera, etc. (R) IC Symphony Orchestra monday Canoe Club Great Hall, 7-10 pm. 7pm Beit Quad. All levels welcome, and free instruction. (R) Consoc

OpSoc Rehearsal Knightsbridge Ward Soiree. 6.30pm, £7.50 Sandy Wilson's The BoyFriend. 7.30 pm UCH. (R) Ents All the usual suspects for a night of dancing Ents and drinking at ... 'Frolik!' And so you're not Big Cash Prizes to be won at DaVinci's Bar drinking on an empty stomach, take Trivia. £50 cash for the winners on the advantage of catering's 'midweek sports night, so get your brains in gear! 8pm start. special' where you can get chilli, curry, or the dish of the day for just £1.

tuesday Wednesday DIARY FELIX FRIDAY NOVEMBER 1 OTH 1995 . NINETEEN

their continued participation. Pan-European The application consists of : Yacht Club (i) A letter and a personal c.v. (ii) a supporting note from one's academic IC Yacht Club have been sailing in the Youth tutor or Dean of Faculty Solent again. As soon as crews were ready, (iii) an essay of no more 1500 words, each boat locked out of Port Solent marina. The Society for European Youth received an typewritten and in English. We motored out of Portsmouth harbour, official invitation by the Fontainebleu Youth Applicants should discuss one of the and once out set sail. Saturday was bright Foundation to form a delegation and to following, having in mind the subheadings and sunny, with just enough wind to fill the represent IC at the third "Europe 2020" 'Hopes, Dangers, Priorities' : spinaker in a long lazy run down the Solent. paneuropean conference, which will take 1. The European Union in the 21st Century: We practised some manoeuvres in Cowes place in the University of Oxford from who should make the laws? How should they and then headed for Lymington, managing to March 16th to 23th 1996. Last year four be applied? find the entrance in the failing light of the people applied and got accepted to the 2. The exclusive use of the European Single sunset. With the boat swinging at a mooring, conference, where they performed superbly. Currency - compatible with national Mario cooked a wonderful pasta meal. The conference has been described as "a democracies? The wind had picked up a bit by the podium for the Youth, a chance to take part The deadline for receiving applications is time we finished eating, and we tacked by in the shaping of policies which will affect the 15th of December. The essays will be moonlight back to Cowes for the night. We our lives". It will include events for the judged by an academic panel based in arrived back in Cowes with just enough time participants such as a Careers Fair event with Oxford. If you are interested to know more for a pint and a brief walk before retiring for multi-national companies and also the award about the conference and how to apply, the night. of valuable scholarships to those delegates e-mail Kyriakos Hatzaras ([email protected]). Sunday morning started with the whose performance is outstanding. Don't worry about the subjects: the group traditional Yacht club breakfast fry-up, then Some of the leading Universities across will work together on this to make sure that We left Cowes Yacht haven as soon as we Europe, as well as Oxbridge have confirmed everyone produces a good essay. had managed to replenish the stores. The wind had kept up and gave us a chance to do some practise fog navigation exercises, and thursday friday even attempt a bit of a race between the two cruising boats. 16 17 If you are interested in sailing with the november Yacht Club, contact Carlo november [email protected], or come to our Yacht Club Meeting meetings on Thursdays. 12.30 pm, Lecture Theatre 2, Physics. (R) Rag Meeting 1.10 pm Ents Lounge. (R) Fitness Club Islamic Society next 12:30pm Die Hard Circuit Training Friday Prayer 5:30pm Beginners Aerobics 1.00 pm Southside Gym. (R) diary Gliding Club Fitness Club 1 pm. Aero 266. (R) deadline: Consoc 5:30pm Advanced Step Aerobics noon, 1 pm, Southside Upper lounge. (R) Ents Christian Union Another one-off special! Put your musical November 6.30 - 7.45 pm. SCR in the Union. thinking caps on for the NME/Coca-Cola (Right above the bar). (R) Pop Quiz. If you've not entered a team yet 13 th and want to, there might still be places, see Explosoc flyers and posters for details. 6 pm Jack Jackson lecture: 'Exploration for If you don't want to enter, the NME is a Living.' (see earlier) supplying some entertainment during the quiz, so you're welcome to just come along Ents and watch! The quiz starts at 8pm in the A special Cocktail night Extravaganza: live Ents Lounge and entry to the event is free. music from one of Barbados' top calypso and We follow the quiz with a visit from reggae acts "2nd Avenue" and supporting "Common People" - a night of Indie sounds, disco. And we've got 500 T-shirts to give peppered with the odd pure pop classic, so away and Cockspur Rum is just £1 a shot if you're into Brit-pop, baggy or loud (while stocks last). Americans with guitars, then we should have something for you. 10 until 2, entry £l/free thursday with Entscard. friday TWENTY . FELIX FRIDAY NOVEMBER 1 OTH 1995 LETTERS

LETTERS TO FELIX: REPLIED TO THIS WEEK BY SIMON BAKER

contributions for tuition sounds more misunderstood. Honestly, A bit of like an excellent idea. Industry in he's all right, but he does tend to Fascist a this country is often accused of rub some people up the wrong not investing in the future. way. Most of what you say is B When I meet the Secretary fine, although the huge expan- Posters oon of State for Education I shall put sion in higher education has Dear Felix, forward ideas given by Consoc undoubtedly created some third Dear Felix, There are factual inaccura- students: these also include a fur- rate institutions offering mean- I can understand that posters cies that need to be addressed ther promotion of the semester ingless degrees. Yes, more good pasted to the outside of college instantly regarding the "Freddie system and maybe a set of insti- quality universities, but not are removed. They make the col- Starr ate my grant" article. This tutions that specialise in teaching renaming glorified technical col- lege look untidy and there are certainly was a good read but was graduates only. leges. And a pint to first person notice boards where posters can soured by the presumed views of The fact is that Higher who can tell me what 'seamless be put up. It wasn't, therefore, the Conservative Party on Higher Education is facing considerable robes of learning' means. surprising that the Socialist Education. At a recent meeting reform. A process of slow change Worker posters, pasted outside with the secretary of state for is needed, not radical reform as the Physics Department, only Social Security I was made aware suggested by some quarters. remained there briefly. What of the government's plans. They does worry me is that the two are not to eliminate the grant Regards, Keep it in obviously fascist posters have completely but to make funds been on the wall of the Physics given to students from loans and Geoff Boon Department for about a month grants equal in proportion if they Vice Chairman of Consoc. Mind and only minor attempts have come from a family that has no been made to remove them. If means to fund their living Dear Felix, Imperial College, over a third of expenses. Universities are still Anoth I was pleased to read your whose students are from over- being built and a three-fold er interesting article "It's all in the seas, tolerates this, I don't think I increase in student numbers has Mind" in last weeks issue. I too am the only one who should be been measured in the past six- B attended Jeffrey Gray's fascinat- worried. teen years, on top of all this the oon ing lecture, those who are inter- Government can hardly be ested in the consciousness debate accused of reducing students Orr, Poor Rachel! may like to know that there is C Unwin numbers as many would like to Portillo just wasn't nice work along these lines being done Physics III believe. Now, the Government enough for you! I'll make sure the here at Imperial. needs to find the money from next interviewee will accommo- Professor Aleksander, of the somewhere. Raising taxes is out date you on their knee and sing Electrical Engineering depart- of the option as the public would sweet rhymes. Now, I don't need ment has proposed an Artificial vote them out on their tax to tell you this but to get to the Consciousness Theorem. From record. I maintain that it sounds position of Secretary if State for this we are developing a frame- Letters may be reasonable to ask the future high Defence you need a tough skin. I work to build conscious earners of tomorrow to pay an commented on by a would think you'd be terribly machines. Anyone who is inter- amount, after all it is the super- naive to think he was going to be ested can visit our web site: guest editor whose market cashiers and bus drivers a warm homely figure. http:Awww.ee.ic.ac.uk/research/ that are paying towards our edu- opinions are not neural/wwwpages/NS GTitle cation today. On a more serious, note, I necessarily those of had hoped for a more enlighten- Page.html. Developing "lower-level" ing account of your interview the editor. courses, whatever they are, is a with Uncle Mike. There has been Yours, matter for each institution. The more coverage of his personality government will rarely intervene and other side issues than what Chris Browne Deadline for letters: if courses are felt to have a poor he actually said. Neural Systems Group 6pm Monday content, it certainly does not Electrical Engineering encourage "low level" courses. Regards, The snippets from the Please bring your Labour Party's SBS (Sound Bite Geoff Boon union card for Snippet) Department can be Vice Chairman of Consoc. identification. completely disregarded. I scoff publicly at the meaninglessness What are you saying, Geoff of "seamless robes of learning" Michael Portillo is a warm, and "learning bank". Employer homely figure. Was ever a man EDITORIAL FELIX FRIDAY NOVEMBER 1 OTH 1995 TWENTY-THREE FELIX FOUNDED 1949 THE FELIX PRODUCED FOR AND ON BEHALF OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION PUBLICATIONS BOARD the indispensable PRINTED BY THE IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION PRINT UNIT guide for Felix BEIT QUAD PRINCE CONSORT ROAD LONDON SW7 2BB WEEK TELEPHONE/FAX 0171 594 8072 contributors and EDITOR: RACHEL WALTERS helpers PRINTERS: ANDY THOMPSON AND JEREMY monday 6pm BUSINESS MANAGER: JULIETTE DECOCK ADVERTISING MANAGER: WEI LEE monday, high noon news meeting COPYRIGHT FELIX 1995. ISSN 1040-0711 Poor Tillo Torn to Shreds clubs & societies Wednesday lpm Okay, I just thought it was a It has been a bit of a week articles deadline features meeting little off when he stared at my from Hell, quite frankly, what proffered hand with disdain with 2,500 copies of the monday 1.20pm thursday night when we were introduced, as if a Career's Fair Brochure to staple scummy little student like by hand. And I guess things must reviewers' myself didn't at all deserve to be a little difficult for the Rag collating touch the hallowed paw. But I posse these days, what with hav- meeting felt utterly chastised: apparently ing no chairperson and such. But friday morning Michael Portillo is the only MP did they really have to demand the Conservatives have had come four pages of publicity, miss 2 monday 6pm another Felix hits to speak here that has ever sent meetings to discuss the contents, a reply to their letter to thanks. consistently fail to meet dead- letters deadline the street... Clearly he is a lovely charming lines, finally turn up with 3 para- bloke and not in the least bit odi- graphs of text 4 days late, wait ous. until a good many hours had Consoc's Ian Bayley had been spent putting their disor- some further pearls of wisdom ganisation into some sort of for- on noting that the Felix editor mat, then proceed to cancel the /CU Copy Shop was not in her place of work at a entire thing, and then change time when you might reasonably their mind and the details again expect a salaried member of staff the next morning? Current Prices to be about their business. He So I don't particularly know helpfully noted that it was if any of the information on A3 any number of copies lOp dreadful what the trade unions pages 6 and 7 is particularly A4 1 -100 copies 5p were doing to disrupt our public accurate... [I have a feeling transport. Interestingly, it was there's something about a pint-a- A4 100+ copies 4p not a tube strike that made it grams (see RCS) and flans (see A4 300+ copies 3.5p take DA hours to get between Guild's)]. Which is a shame real- Wimbledon and South ly, because Rag week is bound to Coloured paper is available at no extra cost. Kensington, but rather a signal be home to one or two of those failure followed by a broken memories that you take away down train. from IC to keep you awake at Could it be that the govern- night cringing. I just don't think ment has left our rail network you've really lived until you've /CU Print Unit underfunded? done something very embarrass- ing at the Beer festival. That's my excuse, and I'm sticking to it. Quality printing at unbeatable EDITORIAL TEAM: prices. Enquire at the Felix NEWS: ALEX FEAKES FEATURES: MARK BAKER fii: JEREMY MUSIC: VIK BANSAL PUZZLES: CATFISH Office for details. PHOTOGRAPHY: WILLIAM LORENZ SPORT: ALEX FEAKES SCIENCE: BEN WILKINS CLUBS AND SOCIETIES: SANDALS /CU Copy Shop is located in the Felix RIGHT WING FASCIST FOX HUNTER: NOOMAN HAQUE COLLATING LAST WEEK: MARK, TIM, AND JONATHAN Office, North-West corner of Beit Quad. DELIVERIES: MARK AND VIK TWENTY-TWO . FELIX FRIDAY NOVEMBER 1 OTH 1995 PUZZLE (AND QUITE POSSIBLY SOME ADS, TOO) Elimination by Catfish Careers Information Sorry about last week's cock-up - as I'm sure you noticed, the solu- tion given was to last week's (issue 1039) crossword and not to the one in issue 1038. (I hope you didn't notice until after you'd finished There are two CAREERS attend. No need to book - just it, though...). That was the last time this'll happen, I promise. No, TALKS this coming week at turn up. really.... 1.00 - 1.50 pm in the Clore Lecture Theatre. "Improve your Interview Skills"

a. Draw a drink! is an Interactive Workshop run b. Two anagrams Tuesday 14 November: on Wednesday 15th November c. Two with blue "Consultancy in mechanical from 2-4 pm in Huxley Room d. Ordinary kind of boat Engineering" by Steve Whelan, 344. e. Fired for making jokes? Project Engineer at Ricardo Sign up in the Careers Office. f. A couple of synonyms Consulting Engineers. Trick shot! For more information and Two linked with event Thursday 16 November: careers advice come to the Some homonyms "Scientists in Industry" by Dr. Careers Office, Room 310 K.2iAt siiJ Tom Purcell, Project Leader at Sherfield Building, which is k. Two with rock Johnson Matthey. open between 10am and Something growing in the lemonade? All students are welcome to 5:15pm Monday to Friday. Two linked with bell City with spirit Two connected with trail P- The obvious choice? q- Two palindromes Subwarden r. Younger side is sweetest s. Best trumpeters! t. "You , but you do not " - S. Holmes Garden Hall

Applications are invited for the position of Subwarden of garden Hall ( a hall of 85 residents situated in 10- 12 Prince's Gardens) which becomes vacant at the end of term. The subwarden assists the Warden in all aspects (pas- 1. Pop 15. Town 29. Intend toral, social, administrative and disciplinary) of the 2. See 16. Brass 30. Mirror running of the Hall. 3. Sky 17. Curve 31. Tinned We seek a person who is outgoing, energetic and 4. Tit 18. Ghost 32. Bottoms approachable. Any member of the College may apply, 5. Top 19. Image 33. Culture although the ideal candidate would be a PhD student, 6. Fort 20. Plain 34. Horizon with at least two years still to go, with prior experience 7. Baby 21. Punch 35. Natural of residences either at IC or elsewhere. 8. Ball 22. Rotor 36. Observe The hours are unpredictable, and can long, but the 9. Bike 23. Solid 37. Sailing work is generally rewarding. 10. Face 24. Wagon 38. Laughter In exchange we offer rent free accommodation. 11. Hard 25. Water 39. Difficult 12. Main 26. Canned 40. Jailhouse Please apply by letter, enclosing a CV and giving the 13. Moon 27. Diving 41. Selection names of two referees, to: 14. Pull 28. Fought Dr SP Walker Warden Weeks Hall

Further information can be obtained from Dr Simon Walker (ex 47058) or dr Ian Metcalfe (ex 45585).

AtKllfllAS The closing date for applications is Friday 17th Across: I.Icarus, Q.Put back out, lO.PIague, 11.Aspirant. 12.Toolkit. Illlllltll November, 1995. IlllltllllB '.Cellophane, 3.Regulars. 4.Spe< tes, 5.Abysisinis, 6.Eclipse, 7.Forage, IlIlilAflS llBlllBIIlf SPORT FELIX FRIDAY NOVEMBER 1 OTH 1995 . TWENTY-THREE Anchored in Whitstable Squash 4ths Cross country Yachting A challenging season lies This Wednesday the IC X- ahead for the Imperial College C team took part in the 6th After months of gruelling wind picked up and racing began. fourth team following their well Annual Metropolis subteranean physical training, hours of tortu- Both teams put up respectable deserved promotion this year railway meeting, more common- ous tactical debate and more early season performances, but into London Division 2. The ly known as the sewer rats race. than a years worth of logistical the poor conditions meant that team this season is comprised of This unique event was first held planning two of the most honed there was a lot of racing left to be Nick Alsop (captain), Markkv through the present day sailing teams, nay - machines, done on Sunday. Whitstable Ventiainen, Liam Hudson and Northern Line, which was that mere mortals have ever laid yacht club provided an excellent Adam Ritz. closed especially for the race. eyes upon departed for the first evening's entertainment on The season started poorly as Runners converged from all over sailing event of the year. Saturday, ably assisted by the IC4s were unable in the first Briatin for this prestigious event However no one could have fore- event's sponsors:- Shepherd's two weeks to field a full strength which was considered second seen the cunning underhand tac- Neame Brewery. A number of team. Last week a full strength only to the London tics that the pitiful opposition team members, determined to IC4 struggled in their first away Birmingham 'Rocket Race'. It is were prepared to employ. Little make up for poor performances fixture against the disciplined widely recoginised that Roger did our two valiant teams know on the water, decided to give first team from the medics at Bannister used this rce as a that the high energy isotonic their all in the bar. The second Royal Free Hospital. warm up to his world record drinks that they thought they team captain, Paul 'Tarzan' The only game achieved was four-minute mile. Previous win- ners include Sebastian Coe, Said were consuming whilst travelling Roche went beyond the call of by Mark at player 2, in a match Aouita and Jennie Rogers. characterised by long rallies and winning boasts. A resounding The increase in commuters return to form is expected this meant that in 1953, closure of week in a home match against the Northern Line was deemed the first team from the students too cost in-effective, and since at United Medical and Dental then, the race has been held Schools . above ground. During this time, the most famous winners have Squash 5ths been Eric Liddel, Andy Overend and Cedd Burge. In these The season failed to get off enlightened times, the race has to a flying start for us as we were to be held away from centres of beaten (thrashed?) by the col- high traffic concentration, this lege of law who are obviously in year's organisers choosing the wrong league. Camden Park Road to Seven An understrength side trav- Sisters Road. The course is still, elled to Queen Mary and however, reasonably hazardous, runners having to contend with on Friday evening had in fact duty to cement relationships Westfield the following week to irate taxi drivers, irate bus dri- been switched for beverages with between IC and the host club. pick up a few points, winning vers and perhaps worst of all, an alcoholic content. Paul 'Chunder Blunder' Linford one match out of four. However, hoards of Japanese tourists. Despite the aforementioned did likewise. last week Alec, Sarfraz and Ian However, we felt safe in the despicable rouse your kindheart- The races came thick and the triumphants gave University knowledge that St. Johns ed heroes still managed to find fast as the pressure was on to fin- College London a mauling with Ambulance Brigade were on time in their packed itinerary to ish the 50 or so remaining match- only Rob the not so triumphant hand. This year's winner, Tom assist the University of Kent at es. Competition was fierce as a losing and he was extremely Spicer, is widely believed to Canterbury with their parking number of races went right to unlucky and was by far the bet- have been aided by two No. 14 arrangements, before retiring to the line. The first team showed ter player. buses, a taxi and extensive the luxury Hotel laid on by the great boat speed on a number of On Monday we travelled to knowledge of the local area. The host University. Saturday began occasions, but as the majority of St Georges with mixed fortunes. unofficial winners were named hazy and slightly late, with mem- them were new to team racing Ian was the only triumphant as James Tindal Robertson, and bers of both teams cursing them- they lost out tactically to more with Sarfraz making a strong Emily Collins. The joint organis- selves for falling victim to the experienced teams. Protests flew comeback to just lose. Ian and ers, Gary Hoare, Gerald Jon- opposition's dirty tactics. as the interpretation of the sail- Rob were sent packing but it Johnson and Stephanie Rooke After some deliberation the ing rules became more and more could have been much different said that this year's event ran host club decided to suspend the convoluted, a sure sign that had we been better players. Last relatively smoothly, compared commencement of racing due to everyone was trying hard enough! year's promotion has put us up to 1923, when 34 runners were the passing hurricane - rumours Once the spray had settled, both against tough opposition but we tragically killed by an errant that the wind was gusting up to teams had respectable placings. will soon be back to consistant Tube train. Reports at the time half a mile an hour were rife. The first team won 7 races and winning ways. of a fanatical anti-fitness cult Tension within the already high- lost 4 - placing them 5th overall, This weeks result: St were vehemently denied by a ly strung teams began to rise. whilst the seconds won 4 and lost Georges Medical School Mr. V.Blobby. Finally in the early afternoon the 7 - placing them 9th overall. (StGMS) 3, IC 1. TWENTY-FOUR. FELIX FRIDAY NOVEMBER 1 OTH 1 995 SPORT

and Phil Wood) after points. mere mortals were headed by The women's competition 'Leyla/Mr. Incest Man' and was won by the Cambridge A- Jurgen. Despite missing the pools FELIX SPORT team, with the help from IC's of vomit, Miss X managed to find Beatrice Leupin, against dog pooh in the park. Ladies Football Mens Football Cambridge B and UCL. Disappointing results were The Dan grade (black belt) provided by Cedd, who was dis- Why is it that Imperial RSM Ists: Our goalkeeper competition was won by the tracted by Christina's ponytail College's most successful football touched the ball 5 times during ULU 5 man team (Hrvoje Jasak and an unfortunate herd of deer. team is never given a pitch..? the the whole match, need we and Steffen Fredersdorf from To conclude the team man- Despite many hurdles, IC Ists say more? IC) narrowly beating Cambridge aged a good turn out ... for the still managed to win yet another Thanks to IC Ists for all and the ULU old- boys team. A pub, where cokes were had all game. thier help. Goals for the Silky scratch team of lower grades round because Imperial doesn't Tasmin, the 'Canadian cap- Scotsman, the still underated were no pushover for the Dan drink, of course. tain' ordered her team to get Simon, Digger (who did not fall teams, who'll be excellent candi- their "butts on the Tube, and over) and the Comeback King dates for the BUSA regionals make thier way to the lands Keith. later this month. Men's Hockey where the berries grow." This was achieved despite giving RSM 2nds: The vengeful sec- A fine example of a match of British Rail passengers a thrill onds held out against the team Netball two halves, we scored 4 in the when we changed on the plat- who knocked them out of the first half, 2 from flipper, 1 from form at Wimbledon. cup. In a game where the rules IC played an exceptional shaggy and a penalty flick from Once on the pitch, the IC did not count for much, only one first quarter agianst LSE, finish- plastic man. After a good half, Ladies towered over their oppo- of their players went to hospital. ing with a 6-goal lead. We kept it some absolutely dire play fol- nents. After an under par first- Well done Pete. up duriong the 2nd quarter, lead- lowed. half, Kendra the 'American Ace' ing 13 - 3 when disater struck! They scored 3 in the second capitalized an a slick passing Judo Play was stopped after Tara half, all from Ringers, b******s, move. This was followed by a threw herself at the flow and ren- not much else to say about the goal from Eva 'the Norwegian Last Sunday there was a dered herself imobile for 5 mins. match, but we won, they lost, Daemon'. Barely a minute later, friendly at Cmabridge between After establishing nothing was hah! Julliete 'the Scottish Shooter' IC, Cambridge, UCL and ULU. broken, she hobbled to the side- banged one in. Stephanie Moore The competition was close and line to finish the match spectat- who played the field well man- fierce with IC winning the Kyu ing. Ic had a reshuffle and play Women's Hockey aged to score. grade (grases under black belt) 5 recommenced. An oponent was Despite the rocky beginning man contest (Christophe Carrere heard to say "everytime we play, lst XI: After a 10 - 0 white- the IC Ladies Ists have won (captain), Jean-Marie Clouet, a member of the oppostie team wash lsat year (we won!) we again. Chris Leach, George Tiskouras gets injured...I wonder why?" So went out with the intention of do we!! improving our goal difference. FOOTBALL WOMEN'S BASKETBALL LSE took advantage of IC's However, we played to our oppo- MEN'S unstable emotioanl state to finish sition's standard and not to our RSM i 4 - 0 CXWMS IC ISTS 20 - 59 at half time 13-8. own. RSM II 0 - 0 UMDS QMW The 3rd quarter wasn't The score at the end of the much better with everyonme still first half was 2 - 0. In the second

LADIES BADMINTON mourning the loss of our captain, half, we lifted our game (and the IC I 4 - 0 LSE MEN'S and LSE managed to close the ball) and regained our usual stan- gap to 18 - 13. dard. Final score 5 - 1 to us (crap RUGBY IC 1 STS 2 - 7 QMW Some fighting talk at quarter goal by them!) Excellent hat- MEN'S IC I STS 6 -3 LSE time and IC prevented LSE trick from the star centre-for- ward. Many thanks to the 2nds IC 1 ST xv 18 - 6 LSE IC 2NDS 5 - 4 QMW catching up completing to end \ IC 2ND xv 10 - 52 LSE the game 24 - 22. that turned out. Looks like we are through to the second round - RCS xv 21 - 24 SOAS LADIES for the first time Karen can remember, and she's REALLY HOCKEY IC 1 STS 5 - 4 QMW Cross-Country old!! MEN'S IC I STS 6 - 3 LSE 1 ST XI 0 - 3 LSE The course undulated

2ND XI 4 - 3 LSE NETBALL through pools of vomit provided by Holloway's team captain, but Badminton

i 3RD XI 0 - 1 0 LADIES 2ND IC ISTS 24 -22 LSE Imperial gritted their teeth and and dug deep. Everyone ran well The assassination attempt of

WOMEN'S Please could all teams present with exceptional results from the captain of LSE's team failed, their results to the sports desk child molester (ladies team mem- never mind...we WON! 1 ST XI 5 - 1 LSE before 9pm on wed for inclusion ber) and Swiss Cottage (Men's Well done the team. in the results column. captain). The remainder of us