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Journey-Back-To-Eden (Pdf) Copyright © 2002 by Mark Gruber, O.S.B. Published by Orbis Books, Maryknoll, NY 10545-0308. All rights reserved. MONKSA.Q 5/24/02 12:02 PM Page i JOURNEY BACK TO EDEN MONKSA.Q 5/24/02 12:02 PM Page ii MONKSA.Q 5/24/02 12:02 PM Page iii JOURNEY BACK TO EDEN My Life and Times among the Desert Fathers MARK GRUBER, O.S.B. Transcribed and edited by M. Michele Ransil, C.D.P. MONKSA.Q 5/24/02 12:02 PM Page iv Uncredited photographs are by Father Mark Gruber, O.S.B. Thanks to Father John Wat- son for use of several of his photographs. Frontispiece: The cave entrance of a hermit monk; note the skylight opened above. Founded in 1970, Orbis Books endeavors to publish works that enlighten the mind, nourish the spirit, and challenge the conscience. The publishing arm of the Maryknoll Fathers & Brothers, Orbis seeks to explore the global dimensions of the Christian faith and mission, to invite dialogue with diverse cultures and religious traditions, and to serve the cause of reconciliation and peace. The books published reflect the views of their authors and do not represent the official position of the Maryknoll Society. To learn more about Maryknoll and Orbis Books, please visit our website at www.maryknoll.org. –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Copyright © 2002 by Mark Gruber, O.S.B. Published by Orbis Books, Maryknoll, NY 10545-0308. All rights reserved. Imprimi Potest: Rt. Rev. Douglas R. Nowicki, Archabbot, Saint Vincent Archabbey, La- trobe, Pennsylvania No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any information storage or retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publisher. Queries regarding rights and permissions should be addressed to: Orbis Books, P.O. Box 308, Maryknoll, NY 10545-0308. Manufactured in the United States of America –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Gruber, Mark, O.S.B. Journey back to Eden : my life and times among the desert fathers / Mark Gruber ; transcribed and edited by M. Michele Ransil. p. cm. ISBN 1-57075-433-0 (pbk.) 1. Monasticism and religious orders, Coptic—Egypt. 2. Gruber, Mark, O.S.B.—Journeys—Egypt. 3. Gruber, Mark, O.S.B.—Diaries. 4. Egypt—Description and travel. I. Ransil, M. Michele. II. Title. BX137.2 .G78 2002 271'.8172—dc21 2002004227 MONKSA.Q 5/24/02 12:02 PM Page v In gratitude to Abuna Elia, the saintly desert monk who called me his “Isaac,” and commissioned me to make his life fruitful by absorbing the words he had treasured in his heart in his years of solitude, and bringing them to fruition in my own heart and monastic ministry. MONKSA.Q 5/24/02 12:02 PM Page vi In this deadly 130-degree heat wave, the old monk was actually singing! He was singing a song filled with praise and thanksgiving for the wonder and the beauty of the day I was accursing! He was able to see an Eden in the midst of this wretched desert! —“A Time for Farewells” MONKSA.Q 5/24/02 12:02 PM Page vii CONTENTS Preface ..............................................................................................ix About the Copts and Their Desert Monasteries...........................xiii Introduction.......................................................................................1 SEPTEMBER A Time of Uncertainty ...............................................................5 OCTOBER A Time of New Beginnings......................................................24 NOVEMBER A Time to Visit Abraham..........................................................32 DECEMBER A Time of Signs: Caelum et Terra..............................................58 JANUARY A Time of Celebration..............................................................86 FEBRUARY A Time to Intercede................................................................111 MARCH A Time to Go on Pilgrimage..................................................129 APRIL A Time of Consecration .........................................................148 vii MONKSA.Q 5/24/02 12:02 PM Page viii viii CONTENTS MAY A Time to Press Onward ........................................................168 JUNE A Time to Visit New Places....................................................179 JULY A Time for Farewells ..............................................................194 Afterword.......................................................................................208 MONKSA.Q 5/24/02 12:02 PM Page ix PREFACE While in Egypt, I did not intend to keep a spiritual journal. My immediate, practical goal was to spend a year doing ethnographic fieldwork in order to write a dissertation for a doctorate in anthro- pology. My abbot had commissioned me to this end so that I could teach at the college affiliated with my Benedictine monastery. My academic mission and scholastic zeal precluded the writing of elab- orate spiritual reflections in those days. But in spite of myself, the intensity of the faith of those among whom I lived and traveled compelled me to scribble little notes in the margins, or as parentheses in my ethnographic notes, or to make unexpected excursions into religious meditations while oth- erwise doing my “social science.” Some years ago, my colleague in pastoral publication, Sister Michele Ransil, C.D.P., urged me to distill a desert journal from my notebooks for the readers of our earlier books. Half-heartedly I agreed, but once I began editing my notes, I had to relive experi- ences that were still painful, as I had never really come to terms with the loss of those days. So, I gave up on the enterprise. How- ever, as time went on, people who regularly attend the retreats I offer began to pressure me to once again take up the task of jour- nal-making. Here, then, after two years of sporadic labor, is the result. Compiled together, this gives the appearance of being a coherent text. But that is not the case. No such journal as this existed on my person, or in my possessions, when I returned from Egypt. It has been gleaned from haphazardly written comments, letters retrieved from my family, stories of my desert sojourn recorded during re- treats, footnotes from early drafts of my dissertation, and archived interviews. Some of my notebooks contain efforts at recording im- pressions in Arabic. Using a tape recorder, I translated these notes ix MONKSA.Q 5/24/02 12:02 PM Page x xPREFACE into English. The notes were transcribed and, along with all my other scribblings, input into a computer. With these raw materials, I reconstructed a time line and, from memory, supplied the connecting tissue of the content. This work is as much a product of the journal-keeping genre as the fact thereof. I offer it because the medium of friendship is the proper ambiance in which to preach, teach, or witness the Gospel. But friendship is a medium of self-disclosure and interest in the other. The friends who have heard me preach or teach, and believe my witness of faith rightly wish to know about this formative and mys- terious part of my life, otherwise so inaccessible to them. I hasten, then, to insist that this is a journal effort that reveals far more of me than of the cultural context or religious setting in which I sojourned. Coptic readers may no doubt assert that I have taken elements of their world and repackaged them in terms of mine. Guilty! I can only reply that a journal, by its very nature, does not have to be an ethnography. Nevertheless, I hasten to assure all readers—Copts, retreatants, or others—that my respect for the monks among whom I lived and the Coptic people I studied is boundless. I apologize if any remark or perspective seems less reverent than what I intended. I am fully aware that cultural differences between Coptic Egypt and the post- Christian West are so great that even the most respectful treatment of the religion of one by the other will always be problematic. In addition, the years have dulled the powers of my memory so that errant information may have entered the record; linguistic limita- tions and cultural prejudices may even have confused my initial personal impressions. While I have tried to minimize such occur- rences, this, too, is the stuff of journals! No Coptic prelate has authorized this journal as a reliable guide to his religion, and no pretense is here made that this effort attempts to expedite the ecumenical process of Catholic-Coptic reconciliation. Nevertheless, my gratitude to Coptic abbots, bish- ops, monks, and their laity is beyond measure. I am especially grateful to His Holiness, Pope Shenouda III, whose hospitality opened the doors of the desert monasteries to my visitation and who took time to visit me there with words of wis- dom and kindness. I likewise thank Sister Michele, who gently shepherded me through this process of compilation and revision. And I could not complete a preface justly without thanking Abuna MONKSA.Q 5/24/02 12:02 PM Page xi PREFACE xi Elia, to whom this journal is dedicated, a true mentor of faith for me. I also thank the Kamal-Hanna family of Heliopolis who gra- ciously hosted me so often in Cairo, Just as St. Bishoi Monastery under Bishop Serabamon hosted me during my longest stay in the desert. Others also, too numerous to mention, have my life-long gratitude for the role they played during that fateful year in Egypt. On the local scene, I am indebted to my confrere, Fr. Mark Wenzinger, O.S.B., for his insightful comments on the text, and most especially to Kerry Crawford, who willingly assumed the time-consuming task of proofreading the manuscript. Finally, a word about the problem of scriptural citations. The biblical verses quoted in this journal are often the stuff of memory reconstruction, involving the subjective process of juggling multi- ple translations from several languages. No attempt has been made to “homogenize” the varied biblical passages quoted herein and, therefore, no crediting of sources is possible. Feast of the Assumption of the Virgin Mary August 15, 2001 MONKSA.Q 5/24/02 12:02 PM Page xii COPTIC MONASTERIES VISITED BY THE AUTHOR 1.
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