ALEXANDRA BURKE

After years of su!ering in silence, the X Factor winner recently spoke out about the racism she has endured before and during her career. The response to her emotional Instagram post was overwhelming. She tells Louise Gannon what happened next

ONE SATURDAY NIGHT at the end of June, the notoriously disciplined Alexandra Burke sat in her living room and drank a bottle of wine as she anxiously waited for a video she had just !lmed to upload to her Instagram feed. Following the killing of George Floyd by a policeman in the US, and the subsequent pro- tests, Alexandra had decided that now was the time to speak out about her experience as a black woman in the music industry. What she revealed – about being told to bleach her skin and straighten her hair, and the pernicious racism that has often threatened to cripple her career – caused a rip tide through- out the media. It wasn’t pretty. It wasn’t easy to hear. And it put her front and centre of the celebrity Black Lives Matter debate. ‘I’d kept those feelings suppressed for so many years,’ she tells me via Zoom as she sits ‘ Finally, Above Alexandra in the X Factor final, 2008 I feel liberated’

Photography PHILIP SINDEN ‘ Finally, I feel liberated’ FINDING LOVE FAMILY MATTERS With her boyfriend, footballer Angus MacDonald Alexandra with her late mother Melissa, and at four years old (right), with her brothers David Jr and Aaron ‘Speaking out has changed so many things. I’ve stopped being scared. I feel I can be the woman my mother raised me to be’

THE REVELATION ‘I got told to bleach my skin… still to this moment it breaks my heart,’ Alexandra said on Instagram in June in the large, bright living room of her Hert- really believing in myself. away, we were looked after by fordshire home. ‘All I’d ever thought since I ‘It has changed so many my auntie Sonia and grandad, got into the industry was that I was so lucky things. I feel comfortable in Ivan. And Mum never had the to be given the chance to sing that I had to just my skin and I !nally think it’s recognition she should have suck it up and smile, and do what I was told. OK for me to have kids. I’ve al- had, partly because she had a ‘I was 100 per cent focused on pleasing ways felt if I did, I’d never be family and partly because she people. I kept pushing down any pain or hu- able to take time out and then knew that as a black woman it miliation because I was terri!ed that if I said come back because my spot was always going to be tougher.’ something the door would slam in my face.’ would be taken by someone Melissa, who su"ered from Her post was applauded by fans and celebri- else. I’ve always had it in my chronic diabetes that led to kid- ties, including her former label boss, Simon head that there’s not much ney failure, died in 2017, aged Cowell. Her career did not implode. Her fourth room for black female per- 53, less than 24 hours before album will be released next year, preceded by formers. But now,’ she adds, Alexandra had to make her an EP this year. And next year she will also star ‘I’ve stopped being scared. I debut as a contestant at the as the lead in the !rst West End stage show of feel I can be the woman my launch of Strictly Come Danc- the !lm My Best Friend’s Wedding (in the role mother raised me to be.’ And ing. Her mother had insisted made famous by Julia Roberts). then she bows her head and throughout her illness that her Today, in her tracksuit bottoms and baggy tears roll down her face. daughter carry on with the show. This she did, grey top (‘my lockdown uniform’, she jokes) Alexandra is hugely successful – with an incurring criticism from the tabloid press, Alexandra looks happier than I’ve ever seen estimated worth of £8 million – thanks to which devolved into endless stories about Al- her. In our previous encounters she’s been winning X Factor at the age of 19 in 2008. exandra behaving like ‘a diva’, allegedly row- !ercely switched on, never dropping her The second-eldest of four children born to ing with her Strictly partner Gorka Marquez. guard. This afternoon she is completely chef David Burke and singer Melissa Bell, ‘I couldn’t believe it was happening,’ she open, talking to me about her anxiety, and she grew up in Islington, north London. Life says. ‘All these stories, which were totally un- the therapy that she’s been having via Zoom. changed when she was six, and her father true, kept appearing in the press and I felt She relays funny stories about being on her walked out, leaving her mother to support completely victimised at this terrible time. My own during lockdown, including driving to the family – although they reconciled 14 family were in pieces because we’d just lost Leeds to visit her Hull City footballer boy- years later. Melissa was part of the double- Mum, but my way of dealing with it was to friend, Angus MacDonald. They hadn’t seen Grammy Award-winning British R&B collec- practice for 12 hours a day, and to !xate on that each other for six weeks. ‘I was too scared to tive Soul II Soul, but the group split up when two-and-a-half minutes where I’d be dancing stop at any service station because I’m being Alexandra was eight. Melissa also sang back- in front of the judges and studio audience. so careful, so it wasn’t a romantic reunion: ing vocals for Elton John, Whitney Houston, That’s the time when no one could touch me.’ I got out of the car shouting, “I need the loo!” Liza Minelli and George Michael. Supported by her grieving family, who and rushed right past him.’ Many might believe that Melissa’s remarka- kept telling her that Melissa would want her I tell her how chilled out she seems. She ble career would have meant she was a wealthy to do well, she !nished runner-up to Holby laughs and her long braids – her ‘freedom woman. It was not the case. ‘There were glam- City actor Joe McFadden. braids’ – swing behind her back as she orous moments, of course,’ says Alexandra, Thanks to the enforced pause caused by shakes her head. ‘Since that post, I feel liber- ‘but what I saw was Mum getting up early, be- Covid lockdown, Alexandra has been having ated. I feel strong enough to stand by what ing exhausted, and never standing still. I saw life coaching. ‘I realised I never really pro-

I have said. I can stop worrying, and start her having to always be strong. When she was cessed Mum’s death or properly grieved,’ she (bottegaveneta.com). Veneta Bottega £1,995, dress, page: This Features. Rex (farfetch.com). Sullivan Lawrence John £430, trousers, and £430, shirt, wears: Alexandra page Previous assistant:InstagramElenaScanagatta.Images,Stylist’s@alexandraburke Getty Premier. atusingMoroccanoil. GroupBabskyMake-up:Alex Wall TheSreedharan atRioHair:

says. ‘I never gave myself the space and time she had paid for all her family to come out to Initially after George Floyd was killed in to come to terms with it. So that’s what I’ve California to stay with her. ‘I didn’t under- May, friends of Alexandra urged her to speak been doing.’ She tells me to look behind her stand it, but I didn’t want to kick up a fuss.’ out about her experiences. She says, ‘I didn’t on the wall, where a framed photograph of Neither did she demur when, throughout want to say anything. I guess I was still scared. her mother takes pride of place among other her career, she was told by various people But then I’d lie awake at night crying, think- family photos of her two brothers, sister, never to wear braids, to keep her hair ing about my brothers, my mum, about my- father, aunts, uncles and cousins. straight and always to smile, ‘otherwise you self. Then one day I was sitting in front of this It turns out that everything – from her Ins- could look di#cult and it won’t appeal to the photo of Mum, chatting with a songwriter tagram post to her braids to her new-found audience we want you to reach’. about what I’d been through. sense of self and her very career – begins and ‘I am embarrassed that I went along with it,’ ‘I felt my mum very strongly telling me to ends with Melissa. Alexandra was !ve years she says. ‘But I was just 20 and it made me feel speak up. I stopped the conversation and told old when she went to Top of the Pops to see I had to be more grateful, and that somehow I him I had something I needed to do. Then I her mum perform with Soul II Soul, and de- was less. When it was suggested I bleach my went on to my phone, pressed record and just cided that she, too, wanted to be a singer. skin, I knew I would never do that – but just started to talk. I didn’t prepare, I didn’t think, Melissa took her seriously. ‘She made me the fact that someone has said that to you I just spoke. My assistant was living with me learn the right way to sing. If there was an op- doesn’t make you feel good about yourself. at the time. I told her what I’d done and I tried portunity, she’d get me on a stage with her, I always felt anxious. If tickets went on sale to upload it, but it just wouldn’t upload. Part whether it was a big show or a lit- of me felt so anxious but part of me felt re- tle club or a bar mitzvah.’ lieved. So I put on music, got out two bottles It was her mother who told it to of wine and the two of us drank and danced her straight about being a black ON STAGE until it !nally went online and then I just woman in the industry. ‘She’d tell went to bed thinking, “What will be, will be.”’ me, “You have to work harder be- Alexandra with partner It took her !ve days to respond to the thou- cause you are black. There is less Gorka Marquez on sands of positive messages she received. In space for you. You have to be bet- Strictly, and in concert terms of any image of her as a ‘di#cult, ter. You have to do more. You at Manchester Pride demanding diva’, she feels this has changed have to sacri!ce everything else.”’ in 2018 perceptions. ‘And I’ve had conversations I’ve At 12, Alexandra lost out to Joss never had before in relationships,’ she adds. Stone on a BBC talent contest. At 16 ‘I talked to Angus about the fact she almost got a record deal, but was ultimately that, if we had children, even told that they ‘already have a black artist and though he is white, the kids would don’t need another’. Her mother couldn’t a"ord be seen as black. And that he need- the fees for stage school, so instead she trained ed to understand what that meant. Alexandra in vocal techniques. When, aged 19 ‘I told him that if I didn’t hear in 2008, Alexandra missed the X Factor solo au- from my brothers for a few days ditions, her mother went with her and they sang I’d worry something bad had hap- as a duet – with Melissa deliberately singing pened, or something involving the slightly o"-note. They were told they wanted to police, because that’s how it is see Alexandra again, but not with her mother. when you’re black. It’s part of your ‘That’s exactly what I wanted to hear,’ Melissa life. When I gave my mum money told the stunned panel as she left the room. to buy a car, she was turned away Despite problems with her health, Melissa from two Mercedes dealers be- went to every single one of her daughter’s cause they didn’t think she looked X Factor performances. Alexandra laughs, like she could a"ord that car.’ recalling, ‘Mum was so !erce. She would tell But good things are also happening. After me, “You have to annihilate all the competi- ‘I talked to Angus about the fact that, if singing at the Commonwealth Day service at tion. You can do it, girl.”’ When the !nalists Westminster Abbey in March, she met and were given the Leonard Cohen song Hallelu- we had kids, even though he is white, bonded with the Duchess of Sussex – going on jah to sing in the bid to pick the winner, they would be seen as black. And that he to become an ambassador of the Smart Works Alexandra rang Melissa in tears. ‘I said, “I charity, of which Meghan is a patron and Stella can’t sing this song. I’m going to get voted needed to understand what that meant’ is a media partner. Their chat gave rise to much out.” And my mother said, “Who is this on speculation on Twitter. She laughs. ‘It was a the phone? Get my daughter to call me. This private conversation, but Meghan is someone is not the woman I raised.” And she hung up. for a tour I’d think, no one will buy them.’ I really admire. Her mum reminds me of my ‘I was stunned. And then I thought: she She has always wanted a family but has mum. I feel she has had a hard time in the me- wants me to stand up for myself and work also always thought it would be harder for dia, and you don’t want to believe it, but it does out my way. I rang her back, and said, “Mum, her. She nods. ‘I grew up with a mother who make you question if it is all down to racism.’ I know what I can do – I’ll gospel the song could have been a massive star, but we strug- She swings her braids as she talks about the up.” She screamed and said, “You’re gonna gled !nancially throughout my childhood. Melissa Bell Foundation, which she set up Whitney the living daylights out of it!”’ ‘Mum used to say to me when I was young- three years ago in conjunction with Sylvia It proved to be Alexandra’s winning mo- er, “No babies yet. Focus on work.” I knew she Young, in memory of her mum, to put under- ment – sung before a beaming Beyoncé. The was right. I’ve worked so hard to be where I privileged kids through stage school. ‘The song went to number one all over Europe, am now. I’ve toured non-stop, put out three best tribute to her.’ selling a million copies in Britain and kick- albums, worked with charities, performed in The braids are here to stay, she says, and starting her career as a solo performer. musicals in the West End [Chess, Chicago, The grins: ‘They remind me of who I was before I got And then it all changed. Alexandra tells Bodyguard and Sister Act]. famous. They remind me of who I am. You have me that during the recording of her !rst al- ‘And then, when Mum was dying, she’d no idea how good it feels to !nally just be me.’ bum in Los Angeles in 2009, a member of say, “It’s OK. You can work it out. Go get me Melissa would be so proud. her management team (she will not name some grandchildren.” And she’s so right. I’ve Alexandra will feature in Notting Hill names) said her family was not allowed into made a decision I am going to have children Carnival online celebrations throughout

Getty Images, Rex Features Rex Images, Getty the studio while she worked, even though before I’m 34, and that feels great.’ August; nhcarnival.org