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RRabbiabbi YehudaYehuda aandnd RRebbetzinebbetzin LLonnieonnie OOppenheimerppenheimer aatt theirtheir newnew homehome iinn LLavonavon SEE STORY ON PAGE 29 SEE STORY ON PAGE 19 SEE PHOTOS ON PAGES 20-21 Op-Ed Rabbi’s Musings From Our Rabbinic Consultant Hooked On Healing Dating Today The Meaning Of A Don’t Let It Go Coming To A Look at Me, Please Awkward Jewish State Theater Near You Situation By Rabbi Dani Staum By Caroline Schumsky By Sergey Kadinsky By Rabbi Yoel Schonfeld By Goldy Krantz here are certain phrases, o you feel like you get even decades after declar- motions, and actions that as much attention as a ing independence and seven Tinstantly become catch bout two weeks ago, I Dwhite crayon? Or have few weeks ago, I pub- Syears after it was fi rst in- phrases. They may have been lost a very dear cousin of you or someone you know lished a letter from a troduced in the Knesset, Israel non-existent one day, and then Amine, Michelle Jakobo- been diagnosed with a serious Amother who was trying adopted a law last week that de- the next day everyone seems to vits z”l. Michelle, who was born case of Attention Seeking Dis- to assist her son in a diffi cult clared the country to be the be caught in the craze. to Rudy and Thea Tauber, grew order? Ah, here it comes: that situation. Her son was dating a Jewish State, with eleven points Not too long ago, fl ossing was up right here in Kew Gardens daily selfi e. Did you think we young woman, and right before outlining its application. “We en- something your dentist told you Hills. She was my third cousin forgot what you looked like 24 he was going to break things

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Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] 5 Community PUBLISHED BY Queens Jewish Link, LLC Calendar/Mazel Tovs– Rebecca Wittert ...... 36 RABBINIC CONSULTANT Recent Happenings – Emily Cohen, David Schneier, Susie Garber ...... 19-36 Rabbi Yoel Schonfeld Classifieds & Real Estate ...... 47 MANAGING EDITOR Naftali Szrolovits General Interest SENIOR CONSULTANTS Forecast Financially Forward - Gerald Harris ...... 13 Yaniv Meirov On the Road – Terri B. Kalker, Esq...... 37 Cynthia Zalisky FRI • JUL 27 TUE • JUL 31 Style & Living Helen Hoffman Rebecca Wittert 85° 79° Beauty Briefs -Risselle Naimark ...... 40 Sergey Kadinsky Dating Today – Goldy Krantz ...... 1 Nutrition Notes – Alice Horrosh ...... 42 ADVERTISING MANAGER 71° 73° Style Myths Debunked – Meira Schneider-Atik ...... 41 Yaakov Serle Partly Cloudy Thunderstorms CHIEF COPY EDITOR Light & Fun R’ Yisroel Benedek SAT • Musical Notes (Fiction Serial) – Susie Garber ...... 43 COPY EDITORS JUL 28 WED • AUG 1 Snippets of Strange – QJL Staff ...... 14-16 Rivky Bergstein The Fun Side – QJL Staff...... 44/45 83° 82° Emily Cohen Mental Health & Physical Wellness STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER 70° 73° Shua Katz Hooked on Healing – Caroline Schumsky ...... 1 SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGER Thunderstorms Thunderstorms Opinion Rachel Goldsmith As I See it - Cynthia Zalisky...... 15 SUN • JUL 29 THU • AUG 2 For What it’s Worth – Warren Hecht ...... 16 Message From Our Rabbinic Consultant – R’ Yoel Schonfeld ...... 1 83° 83° Torah/Tefilah/Parshah 71° 72° [email protected] Halachic Highlights – R’ Ephraim Glatt ...... 38 Rabbi’s Musings & Amusings – R’ Dani Staum ...... 1 718-880-2622 Partly Cloudy Thunderstorms The Shmuz on the Parshah – R’ Ben Tzion Shafier ...... 10 147-25 70th ave. Flushing, NY 11367 Stories of Greatness – R’ Dovid Hoffman ...... 8 www.QueensJewishLink.com MON • JUL 30 FRI • AUG 3 Weekly Tefilah Focus ...... 38 Design by Design2pro.com Special Articles Design & Production 82° 82° The Meaning of a Jewish State – Sergey Kadinsky ...... 1 MICHAEL KUROV • Art Director 72° 71° Digital Assets: Who Should Have Access? – Ronald A. Fatoullah, Esq., Elizabeth Forspan, Esq., and Eva Schwechter, Esq...... 15 Distributed by RCCS Holds KGH Fundraiser – Emily Cohen ...... 19 Prime Media Distribution Partly Cloudy Thunderstorms Oppenheimers Hope to Make Difference in Israel – David Schneier ...... 29

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6 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 MMessageessage From Our Rabbinic Consultant R’ Yoel Schonfeld

Coming To A Theater Near You

CONTINUED FROM P. 1 haven’t seen in years. One bloke named convincing, but now the Jews are waking heard from a certain professor in CUNY Norman, who was with me in Kerem up to the fact that they must abandon how life has become a living nightmare through my father’s side, but she and her B’Yavneh years ago, is married to a cous- their liberal darlings in Corbyn’s party. for any pro-Israeli professor or student brother Jerry yblc”t were as close to us in of mine from England, and we spent On the way back from Baltimore, we on campus. Hunter College, Brooklyn et as fi rst cousins, maybe closer. It happens some time catching up on the latest. I gave a lift to two of my British cousins’ al are rife with BDS proponents. I have that she married Dr. Yoel Jakobovits, my asked him if things were really as bad as sons who had to catch a plane at JFK. been witness to Orthodox students suf- fi rst cousin through my mother’s side. To we hear for Jews in London. I was expect- Naturally, at some point on the Turnpike fering clear discrimination for being say that we were close is an understate- ing the usual response of “Don’t pay at- we made a rest stop. On the way back to Orthodox and therefore assumed to be ment. As they say in Yiddish, we were tention to everything you read or hear; the car, both of them said to me that they pro-Israel. Naturally, the ADL was not in- “geknipt un gebunden” (cut and bound it’s not so bad.” could not get over the fact that they en- terested, but the Agudah was helpful. from the same cloth). Together, Yoel and On the political front there are lots of Michelle raised ten wonderful children, concerns as well. Bernie Sanders and his bli ayin ha’ra, on campus in Yeshivas Ner There is no rationale for hatred against Jews. There never will be. self-hating vitriol against the Jewish state Yisroel in Baltimore, where Dr. Jakobo- is having its effect on the Democratic vits, in addition to his own practice, The only question is if we as Jews can do anything to slow down Party. Ms. Oacasio-Cortez, the latest rock serves as the Yeshiva doctor. its inevitable path star of the Democratic Party, is taking Michelle was one of those women the anti-Israel line of Bernie to the next who deserves a multi-volume book on level, as she displays utter ignorance in her biography. But due to her modest But that was not his response. He tered the restrooms with their yarmulkes the Middle East situation. She glees in way of carrying out her life and her very told me it was really not so good at all. and neither one heard a catcall jeering calling the death of Hamas terrorists understated emunah, absolute faith in Anti- Semitism, which was always latent them as Jews. I asked them if that meant a massacre by Israel. Our own Senator Hashem, she will not make a sensational in England as it is throughout Europe, that in England, when they enter a pub- Kirsten Gillibrand has spit on her Jewish topic for a book. There was, after all, very has become much more overt in recent lic restroom, they are guaranteed an anti- constituency with impunity, because she little sensation in her life. And that was times. The Jewish community is to a cer- Semitic remark? “Of course!” was their knows she has the Jews in her Democrat- her greatness. She was an exemplar of ba- tain degree on edge. Moreover, the new quick response. ic pocket. sic love of Judaism and family. Somehow, liberal agenda, which includes all that I then asked them to what extent is The LGBTQ agenda is fast becoming she managed to navigate a most diffi cult the world now preaches about LGBTQ the open display of anti-Semitism Mus- the new norm in the country. If you be- 11 years of terminal illness, which until and gender identifi cation, is being foist- lim-inspired. They told me that while not lieve that the gender of a human being last Pesach even some of her closest famed upon yeshivos to teach innocent reli- all of it does come directly from Mus- is determined at birth, you’re old-school. ily and friends were not aware. I include gious Jewish boys and girls. The thought lims, the Muslim fury expressed against How long will it be until the local school in that her daily walking partner. Her of that sent shudders up my spine. Israel opened the fl oodgates for the oth- boards force yeshivos and parochial radiant smile was a fi xture on her face Jeremy Corbyn, leader of the Labour ers to join in. schools to adopt this new agenda? Who almost to the last minute. Party in England, is unabashed about I was really shaken by their response. knows? It’s too close for comfort. And However, Michelle is not the purpose his anti-Israel and pro-Palestinian stand As always, Jews are fi ercely loyal to their don’t count on the Church to object to it. of this article. She deserves a much more even as the United Kingdom and the Eu- country. But at the end, it makes little In England they said nothing. Here they elaborate appreciation of her life, which ropean nations suffer from Islamic ter- difference. Jews are despised even by have been strangely silent as well. will have to be left for others to do. ror. He has brought anti-Semitism to the people who are the benefi ciaries of their I know that I mentioned in my col- At the shiv’ah in Baltimore, I met cous- point where it can be expressed openly goodness, even if it means siding with a umn in the last edition of the Queens ins who came in from London whom I even in polite company. It took some violent enemy. There is no rationale for Jewish Link that I would like to close this hatred against Jews. There never will be. topic. But my discussions with my Brit- The only question is if we as Jews can ish cousins sent me reeling. Forgive me do anything to slow down its inevitable if I get a bit obsessed about our Jewish certified mohel path. Incredibly, Jews here push for in- brethren pushing the leftist agenda even viting their own nemesis right into our at their own peril. It’s for good reason. RabbiRabbi RReuveneuven RRoth,oth, PPA-CA-C midst. As sure as there is anti-Semitism, Ask the previously comfortable Jews in there is Jewish guilt. We must show the England. The path that too many Jews EmergencyEmergency MMedicinene PPAA • EExperiencedExperiencxperienc Mohel world that we are different, even if we today are taking is not just crazy; it’s self- shame our supporters and support our destructive lunacy. Sorry if that seems to enemies. offend some people. Learn how to accept We are already seeing the beginnings being offended from one of the “deplora- of that path right here in America. I have bles.”

Rabbi Yoel Schonfeld is the Rabbi of the Young Israel of Kew Gardens Hills, former President of the Vaad Harabonim of Queens, and the Rabbinic Consultant for the Queens Jewish Link.

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Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] 7 SStoriestories Of Greatness R’ Dovid Hoffman What's New About A Computer?

his story took place back in the for a private meeting and eventually tape recorder, a television set, a hole teeth, you pray to G-d, you go to work, early ‘60s, when big mainframe was granted an audience. “I have been puncher, a calculator. What is new and you eat your kosher food – each act yet Tcomputers were fi rst being intro- taught,” stated the professor, when he unique about the computer?” Another another sundry, unrelated fragment. And duced into business. Mainframes are fi nally came face-to-face with the Rebbe, pause. The professor was thinking hard. so the entire Jewish people could go the computers that are known for their “that everything that exists in the world, “I will explain it to you,” said the Rebbe same way. Each does his mitzvah, fol- large size, amount of storage, process- even something that is discovered at a warmly. “A mainframe computer is a huge lows his path, but what one does has no ing power, and high level of reliability. later point in the path of history, has its machine that seemingly can do it all on relation to the other.” They are primarily used by large organi- source somewhere in the Torah. If so, its own. But under the fl oor,” the Rebbe The professor looked at the Rebbe zations for applications requiring high rabbi, I must ask: Where are computers went on, “unseen cables connect these as he continued to speak, and his mind volumes of data processing. It is often written in the Torah?” machines so that they work as one.” was racing. “So you put on t’fi lin. Small referred to as a “dinosaur” – not only be- The Lubavitcher Rebbe did not The professor nodded enthusiasti- little black boxes – one on your head cause of its size but because it’s becom- hesitate and answered immediately, cally. He knew all about these machines and the other on your arm. It is the fi rst ing extinct. as though he had the reply prepared: and how they operated. He himself thing a Jew does in the day. Why do you There was a professor in Argentina “T’fi lin.” hadn’t realized before, but, yes, this is all do it? In order to connect your head who became fascinated with these ma- The professor groped to understand, that a computer is: a synthesis of media with your heart with your hand with chines. He studied them and understood but helplessly. Small black leather boxes and processing devices. these leather cables – all to work as one everything there was to know about that Jews wrap on their arms and heads The Rebbe continued in a soft voice. with one intent. And then when you go computer mainframes. At the same time, have little apparent connection with an- “Now look at your own self. You have a out to meet the world, all your actions he began learning about Judaism and be- ything of the 20th century, never mind brain. It is in one world. Your heart is in fi nd a harmony in a single coordinated came fascinated with it, observing many the modern-day computers. another. And your hands often end up purpose.” of the commandments that he learned. The Rebbe saw his bewilderment and involved in something completely for- “And whether you understand it or In the course of his studies, this intel- hastened to explain. “What’s new about eign to both of them. Three diverse ma- not,” the Rebbe concluded, “when a Jew lectual came up with a question that a computer?” he asked, after a short chines. puts on t’fi lin in Argentina it affects an- bothered him very much, and no matter pause. The professor did not respond. He “Furthermore, your whole day could other Jew who may be fi ghting in a war which rabbi or Orthodox Jew he went was thinking about the huge mainframe go along the same path: You brush your in Israel.” to for clarifi cation in Argentina, he was monsters. Machines that took up whole not satisfi ed with the answer. Upon the fl oors of buildings. Desktop computing Rabbi Dovid Hoffman is the author of the popular “Torah Tavlin” book series, fi lled with advice of a colleague, he traveled to New wasn’t even in science fi ction. What was stories, wit and hundreds of divrei Torah, including the brand new “Torah Tavlin Yamim York to visit the Lubavitcher Rebbe, R’ new about these machines? Noraim” in stores everywhere. You’ll love this popular series. Also look for his book, “Heroes Menachem Mendel Schneerson, zt”l, and The Lubavitcher Rebbe continued to of Spirit,” containing one hundred fascinating stories on the Holocaust. They are fantastic pose the question to him. stretch the professor’s intellectual capac- gifts, available in all Judaica bookstores and online at http://israelbookshoppublications. The man arrived in Crown Heights ity. “You walk into a room, you see many com. To receive Rabbi Hoffman’s weekly “Torah Tavlin” sheet on the parsha, e-mail To- and came to the Rebbe’s house. He asked familiar machines. A typewriter, a large [email protected]

8 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 RRabbi’sabbi’s MMusingsusings & Amusings

R' Dani Staum

When I met Moshe, he was elderly and vivor’s mind. As long as he cannot forgive Don’t Let It Go frail, and plagued with severe Parkinson’s. himself for the tragedy that occurred, he He could hardly talk, and generally need- cannot forget about the person he feels CONTINUED FROM P. 1 tion, letting it go in the face of adversity ed to point to a printout of the letters of responsible for. That’s why no logic or rea- is not a virtue at all. It takes courage and the alphabet in front of him to convey soning will be able to convince him of the to do. When I arrived in camp, I found out conviction to follow through on personal what he wanted to say. It was painstak- fallacy of his guilt. The guilt maintains the that it’s become a ubiquitous and strange goals and to not “let it go.” ing to watch his severely shaking fi ngers connection! dance move. I also found out why so many On Tish’ah B’Av each year, we engage point letter by letter, composing just a few It was clear that Moshe was carrying kids fl ip their water and soda bottles, trying in national mourning, lamenting all the words ever so slowly. the irrational guilt for that very reason. to get them to land upright. That’s part of tragedies we have suffered throughout Moshe had never married, and he and his That guilt connected him with his father, living in the age of social media. The funny the millennia of exile. We recount in vivid brother lived in the same home. At that point, and so even subconsciously he would nev- thing is that in the not-so-distant future detail the suffering of our ancestors and his older brother was taking care of him. er let it go. these, too, will go the way of the ice bucket the egregious actions of our numerous Moshe also lived with severe guilt, The famous idiom is that one should challenge, the mannequin challenge, fi dget tormentors. It all begs the questions: Why blaming himself for not saving his fa- “let bygones be bygones” is only true if it is spinners, and the Yannai and Laurel de- don’t we just let it go? Why continue to ther during the war. It was an absolutely indeed a bygone. Our mourning on Tish’ah bate, and when Fortnite will soon be passé. read about the travails, year after year? absurd thought, and everyone who inter- B’Av, our refusal to forget and to move on, (When you work in chinuch, your students Isn’t it time to move on and celebrate our acted with Moshe knew it. How could he demonstrates that our tragic losses are not educate you about all of these examples of accomplishments, and stop mourning the bear any level of culpability for not saving bygones. Our mourning for the past con- bizarre societal nonsense.) losses and tragedies of the past? his father, when he himself was a child nects us with it, thereby guaranteeing our One of those phrases, which you can’t When I was a Social Work student in and a refugee? My supervisor warned me hope and belief in the glory of the future. say these days without garnering a reac- Fordham University, my fi rst internship that it was futile to try to reason with him The fact that we still mourn for those tion, is “Let it go.” If you say those words was with the HEARTS (Holocaust Edu- about that point. The best approach was tragedies is the greatest testament that we to a group, if they don’t all start singing to- cation And Relief Team) department of to accept his reality and to try to empa- are still connected to that world and to gether, you’ll at least hear some humming Bikur Cholim of Rockland County. I met thize with him. those victims. That’s why we cannot, and of the famous Disney song swirling around. weekly with a number of aging Holocaust A few months later, I was reading a psy- must not, forgive and forget. We remem- The truth is that there is a great deal survivors, to speak with them and to offer chology article about Holocaust survivors. ber because the enemies of our ancestors of wisdom in being able to let things go. companionship and whatever emotional The article noted that at times survivors are still our enemies today. Our ancestors Many people live their lives with resent- support I could. It was a unique and very maintain irrational feelings of guilt over who suffered are part of us, and they live ment and acrimonious feelings towards special experience, especially because all the loss of a loved one. Subconsciously, on within us. That is the source of our others, because they cannot get past real the “clients” I met with have since died. that guilt creates an inextricable connec- consolation – it’s the very fact that we con- or perceived injustices committed against One of those great men that I was privi- tion, if even negative, between survivor tinue to mourn. them years or decades earlier. leged to meet with weekly was “Moshe.” and loved one. That guilt ensures that the May we merit the ultimate consolation Letting things go is generally a virtue, Moshe and his brother were saved from loved one remains at the fore of the sur- this Tish’ah B’Av. at least in regard to releasing acrimonious the German inferno by being sent on the feelings towards others. However, when it Kindertransport that brought over 10,000 Rabbi Dani Staum, LMSW, is a rebbe and guidance counselor at Heichal HaTorah in Te- comes to personal struggles and overcom- children to England, saving them from the aneck, Principal at Mesivta Ohr Naftoli of New Windsor, and a division head at Camp Dora ing negative character traits or following clutches of the Nazis. Most of those chil- Golding. He can be reached at [email protected]. Looking for “instant inspiration” on through with a life-long dream and aspira- dren never saw their parents again. the parshah in under minutes? Follow him on Torahanytime.com.

Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] 9 TThehe SShmuzhmuz On The Parshah R’ Ben Tzion Shafier The Midah Of Rachamim

“And pays back His enemies in their life- in this world? time to destroy them.” Why Did Hashem Create This World? – D’varim 7:10 The answer to this question lies in under- ***** standing why Hashem created this world. ashi explains this pasuk to mean The ﬁ rst most basic understanding that that Hashem pays back His enemies a person must come to if he wants to re- Rin this world so that there will be late to Hashem is that Hashem lacks noth- nothing owing to them in the World to ing. Hashem is complete. When Hashem Come, and then they can be destroyed. created this world, it wasn’t for Him. It The Rishonim tell us that one of the worst was for us. It was to give of His good to punishments a person can possibly suffer others. We are the recipients of that good. is to be paid back his reward in this world. When Hashem put us on the planet, it was Since our stay on this planet is so ﬂ eeting, so that we could earn our reward in the if a person is paid the reward for his good World to Come – the ultimate good for deeds in this world, rather than in the World man. There we can enjoy Hashem’s pres- to Come, it is to his eternal misfortune, and ence, there we can bask in His glory, and

The attribute of mercy is so powerful that it comes into play even with someone whom the Torah calls an enemy of Hashem and who deserves to be eliminated

is something that Hashem will only do in there we can enjoy the ultimate happiness retribution for wickedness. that man can fi nd. There is nothing in it This concept is diffi cult to understand. for Hashem. Hashem is the Giver. If this person is an enemy of Hashem, why What Happens When Man Veers Off does Hashem have to pay him back any Course? reward at all, whether in this world or the Hashem also recognized that man will Next? Why not simply destroy him? likely veer of course during his lifetime. To better understand this question, it will According to strict judgment, man should be helpful to focus our perspective. then immediately lose his lease on life. The Hashem Owes Us Nothing King of Kings created you and told you not One of the manifestations of the imma- to do something, but you had the audacity ture person is a sense of entitlement. I am to violate His will! The punishment should entitled to every benefi t under the sun. I am be immediate and severe. However, man entitled to life, health, and well-being. That will inevitably sin, so the world cannot is a given; that is the starting point. It’s all survive strict judgment. Therefore, Hashem coming to me. And even if I grant that you created the world with the system of ra- have done something for me, what have you chamim. Now when man fails, the midah of done for me lately? This attitude of entitle- rachamim calls out to forgive him and over- ment strains many relationships, and is one look what he has done. According to strict of the most diffi cult parts of our serving judgment, of course, he is completely guilty. Hashem. But rachamim says, “There were mitigating The Chovos HaL’vavos explains that one factors that infl uenced him – environmen- of the realities of life is that a person isn’t tal, social, and personal factors.” And so, entitled to anything. A person has to earn Hashem has mercy. what he enjoys. We are the recipients of This seems to be the answer to the ques- much good, not because we are entitled, tion. The attribute of mercy is so powerful not because anything is coming to us, but that it comes into play even with someone because Hashem gives freely. Hashem owes whom the Torah calls an enemy of Hashem us nothing. and who deserves to be eliminated. The mi- In reality, we are deeply indebted to dah still calls out in his defense. For that rea- Hashem for everything that He does for us. If son, if it could be, Hashem feels obligated to a person ever wanted to enter into judgment at least pay back this wicked person in this with Hashem, comparing what Hashem has world, as if to say, “Pay him back for what- given to him versus what he has given back, ever good he did so that I can be rid of him.” even the greatest tzadik would fall woefully What Right Do I Have to Ask Hashem for short and would have no reward waiting for Anything? him. However, as long as a person lives in This concept has great relevance in our accordance with the Torah, then what he lives. Many times a person may feel, “What receives in this world remains a gift, free to right do I have to ask Hashem for help? After him without expectation of anything in re- everything that Hashem has showered upon turn, and his reward remains intact in the me, do I serve Him as I should? Most of World to Come. the time, I don’t even feel grateful for what Therefore, this question is powerful. If was given to me. How can I now have the the Torah describes someone as an enemy audacity to ask Hashem to intervene on my of Hashem, then Hashem should simply behalf?” act with strict justice, charge him for all he The answer to this dilemma can be found received in this world, and there would be by asking one revealing question: Before I no reward left. Why does Hashem have to bother even paying him back with reward CONTINUED ON P. 39

Born and bred in Kew Gardens Hills, R’ Ben Tzion Shafier joined the Choftez Chaim Ye- shiva after high school. Shortly thereafter he got married and moved with his new family to Rochester, where he remained in for 12 years. R’ Shaﬁ er then moved to Monsey, NY, where he was a Rebbe in the new Chofetz Chaim branch there for three years. Upon the Rosh Yeshiva’s request, he stopped teaching to devote his time to running Tiferes Bnei Torah. R” Shaﬁ er, a happily married father of six children, currently resides in Monsey.

10 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 Yeshiva of Central Queens ישיבה ד'סנטרל קווינס is proud to welcome הרב הרשל שכטר שליט"א

ראש Schachterכולל רבינו יצחק Hershel אלחנןRabbi

He will give a weekly shiur in ʺʥʮʡʩ ʺʫʱʮʮ Fvery Tuesday night QNQN The first shiur will be on ʭʩʠʸʥʰ ʭʩʮʩ on 4FQUFNCFS Parking available in the playground.

Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] 11 HHookedooked On Healing Caroline Schumsky, LCSW, MS Look at Me, Please

CONTINUED FROM P. 1 Look in the mirror for a sec- focus on her. Then again, go ond. Do you see an emo- ahead and give him his own hours ago? Or are you just that desper- tional vampire looking back time. Take that spotlight off ate for acclamation? Hmmm. If you are at you? Is it that one text of him and just encourage starving for attention, then know this: you crave late at night, or him to do something for Being yourself is infi nitely more im- do you dream of a whole himself for a bit. Pray with portant than trying to prove how great roomful of people listening him and for him. Discover you are, and always shifting the focus to to you or laughing at your her love “language” and love yourself. You may get recognition, but jokes? If your needs are in- her in that language. I speak lose respect. satiable, you may wish to fl uent “chocolate.” Heh. By Babies know the drill. After all, drool- assess what that urgency is the way: Nine out of ten ing is only cute for the fi rst six months; all about. people love chocolate, and after that, they have to start screaming Feel like the only fan you the tenth person is lying. in public to get center stage. Talk about have is on the ceiling? As People who feel valued showboating. Hopefully, we outgrow all long as you do not base all have lower rates of heart the grandstanding…but what if we don’t? your happiness on garner- disease and are actually As always, it is crucial to seek out ing attention, then desiring more likely to even survive “why” you crave recognition so badly, if it is just another basic, hu- a heart attack. Conversely, you do. The mere thought that the peo- man need. Here’s a clue: If always trying desperately ple who love us most in the world hardly you want to feed the home- to shore up your self-con- notice us can be devastating. To break it less, g’head and feed the fi dence is exhausting. In down to its bare bones, sweet friends, homeless. But the minute addition, true narcissists there are three types of attention: posi- you put it on social media actually experience more tive, negative, and neutral. Be extremely – you’re also feeding your stress, illness, accidents – careful with loved ones, not to provide ego. So I ask: Are you climb- even break-ups in relation- attention only when they are being neg- ing that mountain to see the ships. Some are really look- you offer or what you wish to get on this ing for reassurance that they are okay. list, if you will: Acknowledging the ones They constantly look to others for their you are with or being acknowledged by missing sense of security. They actually them. Sharing your day-to-day and ask- use other people as their emotional ba- ing, or offering, opinions. Telling her rometers. “If everyone noticed me at the how much you appreciate her. Spending party, then I am okay.” “If my boss made ative, as it will serve to reinforce that world or for the world to see you? time with him. Complimenting, validat- eye contact at the meeting, he must ap- behavior. And that is the last thing you What is attention, and how do you ing, and offering support. prove of me after all.” want. know if you are giving or getting enough How do you think you present to The “it’s all about me” world some live Have folks called you clingy or needy? of it anyway? Check off what you think others? Arrogance or self-assurance? in is overcompensation for deep-rooted Which is it? Is that assertive demeanor doubts about themselves. So if someone simply projected to mask your under- you know is doing this, do not get angry lying insecurity? Wanting the world that they are stealing the lime-light. Con- to revolve around us simply points to sider feeling compassion for their un- a hole in the soul. You may need to quenchable thirst for attention instead. spend some time nourishing yourself After all, that craving is a bottomless pit, and patching it up. sweet friends. Here are some ways to offer up that Go ahead and live confi dently in the attention we secretly crave. Give some- present moment and happily ever after. one your time. It is the most precious When you shine from within, trust me: gift of all. Turn off distractions and just You do not need the spotlight.

Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an ofﬁ ce in Queens. She works with individuals, couples, and families. Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends. She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at [email protected] or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing. DDailyaily ZZmanimmanim Week of Wednesday July 25 - Tuesday July 31, 2018 WED THURS FRI SAT SUN MON TUES Dawn 4:05 am 4:06 am 4:08 am 4:09 am 4:10 am 4:12 am 4:13 am Earliest talis & tefillin 4:46 am 4:48am 4:49 am 4:50 am 4:51 am 4:52 am 4:53 am Sunrise 5:45 am 5:46 am 5:47 am 5:48 am 5:49 am 5:50 am 5:51 am Latest shema 8:33 am 8:34 am 8:34 am 8:35 am 8:36 am 8:36 am 8:37am Magen Avraham Midday 1:01pm 1:01pm 1:01pm 1:01pm 1:01pm 1:01pm 1:01pm Earliest mincha 1:37pm 1:37pm 1:37pm 1:37pm 1:37pm 1:37pm 1:37pm Plag hamincha Gra 6:46 pm 6:46 pm 6:45 pm 6:44 pm 6:43 pm 6:42 pm 6:42 pm & Baal HaTanya Sunset 8:17 pm 8:16 pm 8:15 pm 8:14 pm 8:13 pm 8:12 pm 8:11 pm Nightfall - 3 stars 9:04 pm 9:03pm 9:02 pm 9:01 pm 9:00 pm 8:59 pm 8:58 pm emerge Nightfall - 72 minutes 9:29 pm 9:28 pm 9:27 pm 9:26 pm 9:25 pm 9:24 pm 9:23 pm Friday July 27, 2018: Candle lighting 7:57pm Shabbos July 28, 2018 ends 9:02pm; ends 9:27pm R’Tam

12 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 FFinanciallyinancially Forward Gerald Harris Think It’s Tough Being Poor? Try Being Rich

eff Bezos was already the richest man relatives are sincere in sharing friendships the pressures that have been thrust in the world, but on Monday, July 17, or if they have nefarious motives. upon them or feel inadequate. In oth- Jsomething happened that made his And in some cases, having a lot of money er cases, children feel it’s not neces- station in life even more spectacular: His leads to outrageous and distasteful situa- sary to work hard because they have For example, a family member who fortune reached a mind-boggling $150 bil- tions. One rich person was invited to a fam- a lot of money. has many children may demand a greater lion. ily function at an expensive restaurant. He share of the inheritance than one who has This number is so incredible, so stagger- was surprised because he had fallen out of Who Done It? no or few children. In other cases, heirs ing, that it’s impossible to comprehend. It touch with his relatives but, thinking this While unusual, in rare situations fam- who were helpful and attentive to their means having the fi nancial ability to do an- was an attempt to bring the family closer, ily members have plotted crimes and vio- sickly parents may claim a greater share ything you want to, and forever eliminat- decided to attend. At the end of the meal he lence against others in order to gain access of their parents’ assets than their siblings ing all money-related concerns from your was asked to pick up the entire bill since he to wealth they can’t legally claim. Young who did little to help. And greedy people life. Being wealthy certainly has its pluses, “could afford to.” people in the shidduch market wonder if who inherit a lot of money often squander but is it really as good as it seems? Maybe When Reuven (name changed) began the person they are dating is sincerely in- it thoughtlessly and shamelessly. Never not. For some people it’s a mixed blessing, making meaningful money he decided to terested in them or in their money. And of underestimate the power money has to and for others it’s not a blessing at all. And move out of state and didn’t tell anyone, course, being the subject of gossip about turn someone’s head. it always brings a host of problems. because, as he put it, “I’m fed up with peo- having a lot of money leaves one vulner- There’s no question that having a lot of This subject is mentioned in Pirkei Avos ple borrowing money from me.” This is an able to an ayin hara. money has many pluses, but it also comes (Ethics of the Fathers), a text we learn eve- attitude he never had before hitting it big. When someone becomes wealthy, he with many drawbacks, not to mention sig- ry Shabbos at this time of the year. There, or she may no longer have very much in nifi cant challenges to one’s ethics and spirit’s written: “Increase your possessions, A Family Affair common with relatives and friends; on the ituality. increase your worries”; with more posses- Wealthy people who have families need other hand, when relatives and friends be- Maybe, just maybe, having a great deal sions there is more to worry about. Will to use great skill and wisdom to raise their come rich it’s wise to anticipate that they of money is not all it’s hyped up to be. The someone try to cheat you out of some or children in a lifestyle where they are giv- certainly will feel this way. next time someone oohs and ahhs because all of it? Will you make a mistake manag- en everything they want but not spoiling Too often, lots of money leads to bitter Warren Buffett has $50 billion and Bill ing it? Or will a competitor open across the them; they have to walk a fi ne line to teach family feuding – particularly in the area of Gates has $100 billion and Jeff Bezos has street and put you out of business? These their children not to look down on those inheritances. Family members have said $150 billion, maybe we should just listen are real concerns, and even people with less fortunate than they are, and to keep terribly hurtful things, been ruthless, and and smile. And maybe we should be grate- relatively small amounts of money experi- them from becoming arrogant and insensi- have lied and cheated in order to gain a ful we’ve been spared all the worries and ence these in one way or another. tive. larger inheritance than they were given. problems that come with those fortunes. In some situations, children in very This could be a particularly diffi cult prob- Sources: psychologytoday.com; Suspicious Minds well-to-do families feel pressured to lem when no will was left. telegraph.co.uk But these drawbacks are only for start- achieve the same success (translation: ers. Really wealthy people always have to earning power) their parents have; if they Gerald Harris is a fi nancial and feature writer. Gerald can be reached at geraldhrs@ wonder if their co-workers, friends, and don’t they sometimes become angry about yahoo.com

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Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] 13 OOpp-Ed

The Meaning Of A Jewish State

CONTINUED FROM P. 1 country that names itself after of Arabic from an offi cial lan- ideally it should be governed al shall act to preserve the cultural, its dominant ethnicity, religion, guage to that of a “special status” pi halachah, but we are not there historical, and religious herit- shrined in law the basic principle mission, or ruling family. and clauses pertaining to Jewish yet,” he told me. “The law serves age of the Jewish people among of our existence,” said Prime Min- Responding to the new law, self-determination that leave out as a reminder to Israel’s critics Jews in the Diaspora.” ister Benjamin Netanyahu. most non-Orthodox American Israel’s non-Jewish minorities are that the Jews are here to stay.” This section expands the “Israel is the nation state of Jewish organizations joined the provocations designed to em- Reading the text of the law, it country’s mission of protecting the Jewish people, that respects chorus of international condem- bolden the right-wing base while is clear that this new Basic Law Jews, and strengthening their the individual rights of all its cit- nation, arguing that the state infl aming the resentment of Is- is more symbolic than practical. identity by extending it to those izens. This is our state – the Jew- had put its Jewish identity over rael’s Arab sector. Here are some of its elements: living beyond its borders. Es- ish state. In recent years there democratic values. “This is a sad sentially taking a page from the have been some who have at- and unnecessary day for Israeli Chabad manual, Israeli repre- tempted to put this in doubt, to democracy,” said Rick Jacobs, “The law serves as a reminder sentatives will be visible in dias- undercut the core of our being. President of the Union for Re- to Israel’s critics that the Jews are here to stay.” pora communities far and wide, Today we made it law: This is form Judaism. “The Israel Re- teaching Hebrew, Israeli history, our nation, language, and fl ag.” form Movement and the North combating anti-Semitism, en- On the map of the region, American Reform Movement Thinking back at the state’s “The Land of Israel is the his- couraging investment, tourism, Israel stuck out with its name passionately oppose this new imagined long-form name, I torical homeland of the Jewish and aliyah. National service for alone as its banner, in contrast law because of the harmful ef- asked a knowledgeable Jerusa- people, in which the State of Is- some Israelis would mean serv- to its neighbors, the Arab Repub- fect on Jewish-Arab relations in lemite for his take. For much of rael was established.” This fi rst ing the global Jewish nation in a lic of Egypt and the Hashemite Israel, as well as its negative im- this summer, Rabbi Aaron Rakef- clause of the fi rst section sim- variety of capacities. Kingdom of Jordan. I imagined pact on the balance between the fet-Rothkoff has taken residence ply enshrines a historical reality The law also establishes Shab- what it would be like if there various core founding values of in Kew Gardens Hills as part of that the Jewish people predate bos as the offi cial day of rest, was the Jewish People’s Repub- the State of Israel.” his lecture and fundraising tour. other peoples who have since while “Non-Jews have a right to lic of Israel alongside them as a As Jacobs sees it, the demotion “Israel is the Jewish state, and settled in this land, including maintain days of rest on their those who have been the major- Sabbaths and festivals.” Nothing ity here for centuries. is said here about the extent to “Jerusalem, complete and which State institutions must united, is the capital of Israel.” observe Shabbos, but it can If the 1980 Jerusalem Law isn’t serve as a guide towards future clear, this section of the Nation- legislation on the matter. State Law reiterates the govern- I am familiar with both sides ment’s staunch opposition to of the debate on Nation-State the division or internationaliza- legislation. When my birth tion of the city. country of Latvia regained its “The State’s language is He- independence in 1991, Latvian brew. The Arabic language has a was declared the sole offi cial special status in the state; regu- language. Ethnic Russians, who lating the use of Arabic in State comprised nearly a third of the institutions or by them will be population, faced the choice set in law. This clause does not of learning the indigenous lan- harm the status given to the guage, emigrating, or being shut Arabic language before this law out of many jobs and state- THANK YOUYOU came into effect.” This law estab- sponsored opportunities. The lishes the supremacy of Hebrew citizenship exam had sections for making the while preserving the offi cial that defi ned the 1940-1991 Sovi- 6th Annual place of Arabic as it is presently et period not as an annexation used: on street signs, currency, but as an illegal occupation, a postage stamps, certain offi cial description which many Rus- BIG CHAZAQ documents, and in publicly- sians initially resented. But over funded Arab institutions. That the past two decades, most of Arabic is mentioned at all ought Latvia’s non-citizen minorities EVENT to give comfort to the law’s crit- who remained took the citizen- such a success!success! ics. These days, there are nearly ship exam even as the Russian Wee truly appreciate youro support!o as many Russian speakers in percentage of the population Israel as Arabic speakers. And declined to 25 percent. Although what about other languages my parents emigrated, my uncle spoken by signifi cant minori- returned as a Latvian citizen and ties, such as Yiddish or Amharic? does not feel discriminated in a The absence of English from the state that offi cially regards itself 718-285-91327177188-8282 285855-991 913232 Nation-State Law may worry as Latvian. There are plenty of some American tourists and An- Russian-language institutions glo olim, but practically, it likely in the country, along with other won’t disappear from road signs, minority languages that are giv- travel documents, and the gov- en protected status. ernment’s website. English is Until last week, Israel as the important enough that it does Jewish state was an informal not need a Basic Law to defi ne defi nition for the country, as its status in Israeli society. was its mission of gathering and The State’s relationship to di- protecting the Jewish people, as aspora Jewry is defi ned for the evident in its history and poli- fi rst time in a Basic Law: “The cies. But as its historic mission Guest Speaker Emcee Guest Speaker Special Guest from Israel State will strive to ensure the faces challenges in court, Knes- R' Eli Mansour Yaniv Meirov Charlie Harary Rav David Yosef safety of the members of the set, and international forums, Jewish people in trouble or in this defi nition was given the captivity due to the fact of their force of law. The fl ag, emblem, Jewishness or their citizenship. and anthem are also exclusively The State shall act within the Di- Jewish, and if they haven’t diaspora to strengthen the affi nity minished the rights of Israel’s Bukharian Chief Rabbi Guest Speaker CHAZAQ Director R' Yitzchak Oelbaum Rav Yitzchak Yisraeli R' YY Jacobson R' Ilan Meirov between the State and members minorities, neither should this

Photo credits: Gabe Solomon, Aaron Katz, Yaakov Katz, Mark Shimonov and Amity Studio of the Jewish people. The State new law.

14 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 AAss I See It Cynthia Zalisky From Russia With Love s I watched the goings on in Hel- He was referring to the fact that relations sinki, Finland, last week, I thought between the two countries had reached an Aof the James Bond movie, “From all-time low. Russia with Love,” where the hero (Bond) is I don’t think anyone with half a brain entrapped by a Russian spy. To hear Trump’s expected President Trump to lambaste Pu- critics, the president was ensnared by KGB’s tin in public before a global audience, but best, Vladimir Putin. But was it actually so? most (including me) wanted him to use the Nothing, especially in the art of diplomacy, occasion to publicly and emphatically warn Moscow and soon thereafter abandoned a Netanyahu and they would like to do cer- is as it seems. There are always behind-the- Putin against interfering in future US elec- missile defense system in Poland and the tain things with respect to Syria, having to scenes machinations that truly indicate tions, which would not be tolerated. But as Czech Republic to placate the Russians. do with the safety of Israel. Creating safety what has actually transpired. Senator Paul understood, we need to be able Trump has reinstated the program to Rus- for Israel is something that both President For the sake of honesty, I must admit to work with this guy Putin. The US and Rus- sia’s consternation. Obama refused to send Putin and I would like to see very much.” that I was disappointed with the results at sia control 90 percent of the world’s nuclear military grade weapons to Ukraine. Trump Trump indicated that Moscow and Wash- the Helsinki press conference. As unreal- arsenal. We need to be able to work together is doing so. Obama was reluctant to increase ington are both working with Israel and “Is- istic as it may sound, I expected a Ronald for the sake of peace. liquefi ed gas exports that would compete rael is working with us.” During their talks, Reagan moment where President Trump Putin called for “full compliance” with the would clobber that Stalin-wannabee, mur- 1974 Israel-Syria Separation of Forces Agree- derous thug (Putin), the way Reagan did to I don’t think anyone with half a brain expected President Trump to ment. “This will bring peace to the Golan Gorbachev. But upon refl ection, I realized lambaste Putin in public before a global audience Heights and bring a more peaceful relation- that Reagan used his famous charm offen- ship between Syria and Israel and also pro- sive in the beginning of their negotiations; vide security for the State of Israel,” Putin but it got him nowhere. Then he used the There are many areas that we could ben- with Russian gas production; but Trump is said. “Establishing peace and reconciliation hardball approach, even threatening to efi t from Russia’s collaboration. First is ter- prioritizing such shipments and calling on would be the fi rst showcase example of the leave their meeting in Reykjavik, Iceland, rorism. The US could also use Russia’s help Germany, for example, to cease its depend- successful joint work. Hopefully we will when things were not going his way. Is it to force North Korea to abandon its nuclear ence on Russian gas and rely on the Ameri- reach this understanding with our Ameri- possible that President Trump is using the weapons program. Syria is another major is- can product. That would be a major blow to can partners. Today’s negotiations refl ected same playbook? We don’t know what was sue. Trump wants Russia to convince Iran to the Russian economy. our joint wish, our joint wish with President discussed in private. The Trump-haters saw withdraw from Syria. Putting the media frenzy and hysteria Trump to redress this negative situation in the worst and cast a blind eye to the big pic- We do not know what the two leaders against Trump aside, we Jews need to be the bilateral relationship.” ture. Only Senator Paul recognized the posi- discussed and what transpired in their two- aware of what happened in Helsinki that is We will not know for months what was tive implications of the summit. Rand Paul, hour one-on-one meeting in Finland. But relevant to us. The real winner of this meet- truly discussed and agreed upon in Helsinki. always very stern and straight-laced about we do know that, despite the protestations ing might be Israel. Trump and Putin both If easing the tensions at the Golan Heights is everything, expressed his approval of Presi- of the Trump-haters and the liberal media said that they will work to ensure Israel’s achieved, then the summit was a huge suc- dent Trump’s handling of Russia. Paul said, that describe him as weak and a “Putin pup- security. Trump said, “We both spoke to Bibi cess in my book. “We’re going to talk to the president about pet,” since Trump took offi ce he has taken some small steps in order to try to thaw a much harder line on Russia than his pre- Cynthia Zalisky is the Executive Director of the Queens Jewish Community. She can be contacted the relations between our two countries.” decessor. In 2009, President Obama visited at [email protected] Digital Assets: Who Should Have Access?

media account. Companies that store can be managed, conserved and, in cer- viduals make an inventory of their digital an individual’s digital assets are known tain instances, accessed by third parties assets and store such an inventory along as custodians. Examples of digital as- in much the same manner as other rights with their other important documents, sets include email correspondence or inin real and tangible personal property. so that their fi duciary is aware of what formation that has been uploaded onto Thus, under the RUFADAA, if a person’s digital assets they have. Such an inven- websites like Facebook or Instagram. So, estate planning documents (e.g., a will tory should include website addresses, for example, if an individual uses Gmail or a power of attorney) specifi cally grant passwords, and security questions and for his e-mail, Google is the custodian a fi duciary the power to access a digital answers. A failure to properly plan may and the digital assets are the individual’s asset, the provisions of the TOSA will no result in family members being unable to By Ronald A. Fatoullah, Esq., emails. longer prevail and the custodian must access photographs, correspondence, and Elizabeth Forspan, Esq., Absent any statute to the contrary, ac- grant access to the fi duciary. However, if other records of sentimental or possibly and Eva Schwechter, Esq. cess to digital assets is governed by the a person takes no affi rmative action to monetary value in the event of a person’s custodian’s Terms of Service Agreement grant his fi duciary access to his digital as- incapacity or death. Digital assets should ost individuals are well acquaint- (TOSA). These agreements are typically sets, the provisions of the TOSA will de- not only be addressed in one’s will and ed with the term “estate plan- extremely restrictive. For example, upon termine whether the custodian will grant trust; an individual’s power of attorney Mning.” Estate planning can be the death of an account owner, the right a fi duciary access to said assets. should also, depending on the individu- used to eliminate uncertainties with re- to access the account does not necessar- The RUFADAA not only allows a per- al’s wishes, provide for the agent’s access gard to how one’s estate is administered ily pass in accordance with the account son to grant or restrict his fi duciary’s to digital assets. after one’s death. Proper estate planning owner’s last will and testament. Under access to his digital assets through his If you would like to learn more about can also help maximize the value of an the terms of many TOSAs, all photographs estate planning documents, but also al- how to properly plan for access to your estate by reducing taxes and other ex- and data uploaded to these accounts are lows him to grant or restrict such access digital assets in the event of your death penses. However, estate planning no the property of the custodian, not the through what is referred to as an “online or incapacity, it is advisable to speak longer only concerns preserving assets individual account holder. Furthermore, tool.” The Act defi nes an online tool to with a knowledgeable estate planning at- and transferring wealth to the next gen- many TOSAs prohibit third-party access be an electronic service provided by a torney. eration. Today, issues related to one’s to online accounts regardless of whether custodian that allows the user to provide Ronald A. Fatoullah, Esq is the founder personal online accounts and digital as- the account owner is living. In an age directions for the disclosure or non-dis- of Ronald Fatoullah & Associates, a law sets also must be included in one’s estate when many people store all of their pho- closure of digital assets to a third person. fi rm that concentrates in elder law, estate plan, both for access during one’s life and tographs, video footage, and personal It should be noted that provisions made planning, Medicaid planning, guardian- after death. correspondence online, the inability of a using the online tool will trump any pro- ships, estate administration, trusts, wills, There is no standard defi nition of decedent’s family to access this informa- vision made in an estate planning docu- and real estate. Elizabeth Forspan, Esq. “digital assets,” but they can be broadly tion can be very distressing. ment or the terms of the TOSA. is the managing attorney of the fi rm. The defi ned as all digital property and elec- The RUFADAA (Uniform Fiduciary Ac- When a person is considering his es- law fi rm can be reached at 718-261-1700, tronic communications accessed by a cess to Digital Assets Act, revised in 2015) tate plan, it is important to give special 516-466-4422, or toll free at 1-877-ELDER- computer, smartphone, tablet, or server. was an attempt to address this problem. consideration to his digital assets. In ad- LAW or 1-877-ESTATES. Mr. Fatoullah is Digital assets include information that is This Act, now adopted in 38 states includ- dition to taking steps to properly plan also a partner with Advice Period, a wealth stored on a computer, as well as content ing New York, recognizes the existence of for the disposition of digital assets upon management fi rm, and he can be reached that is uploaded to a website or social digital property as a property right that death, it is also recommended that indi- at 424-256-7273.

Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] 15 FForor WWhathat It’s Worth Warren S. Hecht

mit was that the Russians would be able to his ‘fake news media – enemy of the people’ Coats Of Honor question various former members of the mantra for reporting that his meeting with American government, including former Putin was widely panned by members of his here is so much to write about the ference then says he does not believe that Ambassador Michael McFaul, in exchange own party. That makes me an enemy of the president’s disastrous performance Hamas is trying to infl uence the upcoming for Mueller being able to question the 13 in- state.” There were even some commentators Tat the Helsinki conference with Presi- elections. dicted Russians. (Imagine if the Israeli gov- at Fox who criticized the president, which dent Putin, but space does not allow for it. The prime minister also blames the bad ernment agreed to such an offer by Hamas.) for Fox is a big deal. Also, some Republican So far, in two other Jewish papers that tend relationship between Hamas and Israel on The president said he thought it was a good members in Congress, besides for the usual to be pro-Trump they have defended his previous administrations of the Israeli gov- idea. He then backed down right before the suspects, criticized Trump. For example, conduct. The best way to address those who ernment. Senate voted 98-0 not to allow it. The reso- Representative Will Hurd, a former mem- are defending the “indefensible” is to give ber of the CIA, stated, “I’ve seen Russian them an analogy. intelligence manipulate many people over Imagine the prime minister of Israel is Fortunately, there are people who have the courage to stand up my professional career, and I never would having a summit with the head of Hamas. and not get caught up in the cult of personality and do what is have thought that the US president would There have been allegations that Hamas best for the country become one of the ones getting played by tried to infl uence the Israeli election. Twelve old KGB hands.” members of the Hamas government were Trump also doubled down by inviting Pu- indicted for illegal conduct such as hacking If this had happened, those Trump Jew- lution was that “it is the sense of Congress tin to Washington in the fall. Coats found emails and spreading the same and other ish supporters would have been upset, call- that the United States should refuse to make out about it while he was on stage at a fo- disinformation to help the prime minister ing the prime minister words such as a trai- available any current or former diplomat, rum. Coats was also unaware of what Trump win. The leader of Hamas at the summit said tor, etc. – guaranteed. civil servant, political appointee, law en- and Putin discussed at their two-hour meet- he did want the prime minister to become Fortunately, there are people who have forcement offi cial, or member of the Armed ing with only translators. Shouldn’t the prime minister. the courage to stand up and not get caught Forces of the United States for questioning head of the intelligence agencies be aware The Mossad and all Israeli intelligence up in the cult of personality and do what is by the government of Vladimir Putin.” of what is going on? groups have determined that Hamas was best for the country. The president went to his favorite tactic The administration has many capable involved in illegal conduct to infl uence the Dan Coats, the director of national intel- when criticized by the media, calling them people working in the intelligence and for- election that was held, which led to the ligence, is one example. Right after Trump the enemy of the people and fake news. He eign policy agencies. The president, instead prime minister becoming prime minister made his comment disparaging the 17 intel- also said that it is why things need to be of thinking that he is smarter than everyone and that they are still trying to do so in fu- ligence agencies, Coats on his own put out recorded. The joke is that he was making else, should listen to them. If not, Congress ture elections. the statement: “We have been clear in our the comment in response to criticism of must rein him in. It will take courage for The prime minister at the press confer- assessments of Russian meddling in the his press conference heard by millions as Congress to do so since the president is ence says that he was told that Hamas was 2016 election and their ongoing, pervasive well as his recorded interview with The Sun very popular with Republicans. Maybe their involved in trying to infl uence the prior efforts to undermine our democracy, and newspaper in England. conduct in response to Helsinki is a small election, but the Hamas leader told him we will continue to provide unvarnished John Roberts, a reporter with Fox News, step in showing backbone to stand up to the otherwise. He fi nds no reason why Hamas and objective intelligence in support of our tweeted: “President Trump doubles down on president. Let’s hope so. would try to infl uence Israeli elections. The national security.” prime minister at a subsequent news con- Another idea that fl oated at the sum- Warren S. Hecht is a local attorney. He can be reached at [email protected]

16 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] 17 ©2018 Swarovski©2018 Lighting, Ltd

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18 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 FFeatureeature Story Let No One Cry Alone: RCCS Fundraiser In KGH Focuses On Giving And Empathy

By Emily Cohen

osei b’ol chaveiro: How can you taste something sweet when “Nklal Yisrael is going through a tzarah?” The challenge was posed by Rabbi Ephraim Eliyahu Shapiro of Congregation Shaare Tefi lah of North Miami Beach at a July 18 fundraiser for the Rofeh Cholim Cancer Society (RCCS). Over 300 members of the Queens Jewish community gathered at the Young Israel of Kew Gardens Hills to support the charity and share personal stories of its impact in their lives. The Brook- lyn-based non-profi t helps Jews with cancer by providing fi nancial aid for insurance premiums and medical subsidies, medical direction and counseling, and insurance advocacy for denied claims. Rabbi Shapiro and other speakers ech- FFeaturedeatured sspeakerpeaker RRabbiabbi EEphraimphraim EEliyahuliyahu oed RCCS’s guiding tenets – “Brothers and CChaimhaim KKurz,urz, RRCCSCCS BBoardoard ooff DDirectorsirectors SShapirohapiro RRabbiabbi YoelYoel SSchonfeldchonfeld sisters: You are not alone” and “In the fi ght against cancer, we stand with them” –both fi nancial relief to patients in the form of According to Rabbi Aron Steier, the to highlight the organization’s work in sup- insurance advocacy. RCCS advocates on National Director of Development, this porting Jews suffering from cancer, but behalf of patients when insurance provid- medical direction helps patients to under- also to inspire more acts of compassion ers unfairly deny benefi ts claims. This year stand the intricacies of their treatment and and charity in the Jewish community. Like alone, it recovered over $2 million in de- navigate an often-overwhelming range of RCCS, he argued, individuals must strive to nied claims, and nearly $3 million in 2016. options. “We prep them before their ap- share the burdens of our neighbors so that It operates on a worldwide annual budget pointments, we speak with them after, and they should not suffer alone. of nearly $9 million. we help them make decisions. We stay in- RCCS was founded in 1997 by Williams- Over the course of its 21-year run, RCCS volved through the entire process.” burg-based entrepreneur Hershel Kohn. has achieved signifi cant contributions for To achieve these results, RCCS leverages its After years of self-funding the insurance its patients. The organization has paid out vast network of connections, gaining special premiums of cancer-stricken community over $40 million in insurance premiums access for its patients. Rabbi Steier explained, members, Kohn established RCCS and and insurance companies have paid out “We are very well connected with doctors brought in fundraisers to expand the pool over $1 billion in medical services. In the and hospitals, so doctors do crazy favors for of benefi ciaries. past 12 months alone, RCCS provided fi nan- us all the time. We’ve built relationships with Since its inception, the operation has cial and medical assistance to over 2,300 the top institutions – we’re talking Sloan Ket- greatly expanded fi nancial coverage and patients: 1,426 in the US, 886 in Israel, and tering, Weill-Cornell, the Mayo Clinic, Hack- has extended support to include medical a handful in other countries including Eng- ensack University Medical Center. We work consulting and ancillary assistance to pa- land, Brazil, and Argentina. Patients includ- hand-in-hand with the doctors and we get tients with cancer. ed children, adults, and the elderly from a doctors from different hospitals across the Today, the organization continues to range of Jewish religious affi liations, both country to work together on each case. We RRabbiabbi YisroelYisroel MMayerayer MMerkin,erkin, DDirectorirector ooff subsidize insurance premiums – to the religious and non-religious, and ethnic can have a top neurosurgeon in L.A. work to- OOrganizationalrganizational AAdvancementdvancement tune of more than 40 million dollars over backgrounds. gether with our patient’s local doctor here in the organization’s history – ensuring that Beyond fi nancial support, RCCS’s most Queens.” cologists, who found that navigating their every benefi ciary is covered by a strong important contribution is medical direc- Using this combination of resources – a own treatment was an overwhelming task. medical insurance plan and guided through tion, coordination, and assistance: helping vast network of medical providers, expert RCCS has the heft and the leverage that an every step of his or her illness with medical patients to arrange and receive treatment knowledge of the cancer treatment op- individual never could, and the expertise support and advocacy. In addition to insur- with top doctors and hospitals. Its agents tions, and years of experience navigating on a subject that most people hope never ance premiums, RCCS also covers medical make referrals, schedule appointments and the US and Israeli health insurance systems to learn about. “Thank G-d we’re not famil- subsidies, offering up to $2,500 per patient follow-ups, facilitate the sharing of records – RCCS provides an invaluable resource to iar with this world [of cancer],” said Abe for medical expenses not covered by insur- between doctors’ offi ces, and serve as liai- patients who often have never had to deal Rosenberg,* the father of one of the recipi- ance: deductibles, co-pays, out-of-network sons between patients and their medical with a long-term or acute illness like can- ents. “They are.” doctors, second opinions, emergency medicare providers. RCCS can even arrange for cer, are unfamiliar with their options, and RCCS’s Chief Operating Offi cer, Rabbi cal care, and other out-of-pocket costs. access to special medications or enroll pa- have no idea where to begin. Benefi ciar- Chaim Rapfogel, agreed. “When you’re The organization provides additional tients in exclusive medical trials. ies have even included a number of on- dealing with cancer – with life and death – there’s so much confusion. When a patient comes to us for help, he’s talking with people who are managing thousands of cases a year and who know every step of the journey. We fi nd patients the most effective possible care in the most effi cient possible way.”

CONTINUED ON P. 35

Emily Cohen is a staff writer and copy editor for the Queens Jewish Link, reporting on community affairs, Israel, and editorial perspectives. She also works as a freelance content writer and editor. Emily is an alum- na of Brown University and lives in Man- hattan with her teeny-weeny four-pound poodle. Emily can be reached at EmilyCo- [email protected].

Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] 19 20 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] 21 centurionioniopan iinmanaman gement

22 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 Emergency Medical Training & Consulting www.MadisonPrograms.com

Schwartz Brothers-Jeffer Memorial Chapels

Jennifer Martin, Director

Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] 23 24 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] 25 RRecentecent Happenings

Star-K Kashrus Training Program Celebrates 15 Years Of Preparing Kashrus Professionals Worldwide

By Margie Pensak 4,751 miles. Mr. Kleiman has been involved in kosher meat production for 18 years; for ince July 2004, Star-K Kosher Certifi - 11 years, he ran kosher beef and poultry cation has provided a premier train- productions. Additionally, he works closely Sing ground for kashrus professionals, with Israel’s minister of agriculture in con- administrators, and fi eld representatives, sulting for multi-million-dollar projects to rabbanim, rebbeim, kollel fellows, and oth- adapt South American slaughterhouses for ers serving in klei kodesh, from around the kosher beef export to Israel. world. The comprehensive analysis of per- “I really enjoyed the program, especially tinent kashrus and halachic issues is pre- the industrial shiurim and visits, since I am sented by Star-K’s rabbinic staff members, involved in the professional operational including Rabbinic Administrator Rabbi side of kosher production,” shares Mr. Klei- Moshe Heinemann and President Dr. Av- man, who deals with the engineering and rom Pollak. The lectures are supplemented management of production issues. by a visit to a glatt kosher slaughterhouse, Rabbi Mosheh Levihim, who left his na- a hands-on vegetable-checking practicum, tive Iran as a young man in 1983 to settle and behind-the-scenes tours of various in the US, had a different motivation for Star-K-certifi ed establishments and manu- attending the Star-K Kashrus Training Pro- facturing plants. gram. As the rav of a Sephardic shul, Beith From Australia to Zürich David Education Center, and a rebbe in Or Just some of the illustrious alumni of Hachaim Academy in Tarzana, California, the Annual Star-K Kashrus Training Pro- he made the cross-country trip to upgrade gram, over the past 15 years, include: his kashrus knowledge gained from his Rabbi Dovid Asher, Rav, Keneseth Beth s’michah studies 20 years ago. Israel/Rabbinic Administrator, The Va’ad “So much has changed in the industry HaKashrut of Richmond, Richmond, VA; since then,” says Rabbi Levihim. “I learned Rabbi Hershel Becker, Rav, Young Israel of trator, Vaad HaKashrus of Greater Water- isville, KY; Rabbi Zvi Solomon, Rabbinic a lot – everything from how to apply what Kendall, Miami, FL; Rabbi Yechiel Biber- bury, Waterbury, CT; Rabbi David Kitainik, Coordinator, KVH Kosher, Brighton, MA; I learned about tola’im in a practical way feld, Rosh Kollel, Philadelphia Community Community Kollel of Greater Las Vegas/ Rabbi Avi Stewart, Rav, Westwood Kehilla, to more effi cient ways to kasher hotels and Kollel; Rabbi Azriel Blumberg, Corporate Jewish Learning Network, Las Vegas, NV; Los Angeles, CA; Rabbi Moshe Walter, Rav, train my mashgichim. It was exactly what I Kosher Liaison, KVH Kosher, Brighton, Rabbi Yossi Landa, Rabbinical Coordina- Woodside Synagogue Ahavas Torah/Execu- was looking for.” MA; Rabbi Meir Bulman, Rav, Hebrew Or- tor, Chicago Rabbinical Council (cRc); Rav tive Director, Rabbinical Council of Greater “I love the transparency that takes place thodox Congregation, South Bend, IN; Chaim Moishe Levy, Adath Yeshurun (IRG), Washington, Silver Spring, MD; and Rabbi at Star-K,” continues Rabbi Levihim. “I Rabbi Benzion Chanowitz, Rav, Landfi eld Zürich, Switzerland; Rabbi Binyamin Mar- Dovid Yachnes, Rav, Orlando Torah Center, asked a question and they were not shy Avenue Synagogue, Monticello, NY/Direc- wick, Rav, Congregation Shomrei Emunah, Orlando, FL. about answering how they do things and tor, Chabad of Monticello/ Mashgiach, Baltimore, MD; Rabbi Aaron Metzger, Di- Star-K Groomed for the World of Kashrus how they arrived at their policies. It was Star-K Certifi cation; Rabbi Barak Cohen, rector, New York State Kosher Law Enforce- Rabbi Chaim Moishe Levy, Rav of Adath eye-opening! I would love to come again Rav, Ohr HaTzafon, Saint Ives, New South ment; Rabbi Chanoch Oppenheim, Direc- Yeshurun (IRG), in Zürich, Switzerland, – there is so much to learn. I was very im- Wales, Australia; Rabbi Josh Finegold, Ad- tor, Charlotte Torah Center, Charlotte, NC; attended the Star-K Kashrus Training Pro- pressed when one of the Kashrus Adminis- ministrator, Buckeye Kosher (Vaad Ho’ir of Rav Eliyahu Reingold, Rosh Kollel, Yeshiva gram in 2006. trators, Rabbi Stern, gave me his business Columbus), Columbus, OH; Rabbi Mayer of Greater Washington, Silver Spring, MD; “After 12 years in kollel and eight years as card and told me, “Call me anytime.” It was Freedman, Rav, Congregation Anshi S’fard, Rabbi Mordechai Rhine, Rav, Southeast a high school magid shiur, I was thrust into amazing!” Atlanta, GA; Rabbi Yonatan Gorin, Rav, Hebrew Congregation, Silver Spring, MD; the position as a rabbi of a large k’hilah,” Star-K Kashrus Administrator Rabbi Congregation Etz Chaim, Sharon, MA; Rabbi Mordechai Rotstein, Kashrus Coordi- notes Rabbi Levy. “Included in my duties Zvi Goldberg, coordinator of the seminar, Rabbi Yonah Gross, Rav, Congregation Beth nator, Scroll K Vaad Hakashrus of Denver, was running a kashrus organization, some- concludes, “After 15 years, we turn around Hamedrosh, Philadelphia, PA; Rabbi Send- Denver, CO; Rabbi David Russek, Assistant thing I had not trained for. My experience and realize that we have trained hundreds er Haber, Rav, B’nai Israel Congregation, Rav, Centro Israelita de Costa Rica/ Rab- with the Star-K was fantastic. I learned a of attendees, many of whom have signifi - Norfolk, VA; Rabbi Eliyahu Hakakian, Rav, binical Kashrus Administrator, Costa Rica tremendous amount about the practical cant involvement in kashrus in the US and Ahavat Shalom Sephardic Congregation, Kosher; Rabbi Dovid Schwartz, Rav, Con- aspects of hashgachah and still keep up around the world. It’s heartwarming and Baltimore, MD; HaRav Boruch Hirschfeld, gregation Sha’arei Tefi lla, Providence, RI; a strong connection with the Star-K rab- we are grateful for the opportunity. It is a Rosh Kollel, Ateres Chaim Boruch (Torah Rabbi Pinchas Shedrowitzky, Field Rabbi banim.” function of mi’talmidai yoseir mi’kulam – L.I.F.E.), Cleveland Heights, OH; Rabbi Yis- Rabbinical Council of California (RCC); From Tarzana to Sao Paulo we learn from the insightful questions they roel Isaacs, Director of Kashruth, Greater Rabbi Yonason Shippel, Founder/Direc- This year, Felipe Kleiman, of Sao Paulo, ask, sometimes pointing out approaches Phoenix Vaad HaKashruth, Phoenix, AZ; tor, The Beis, New, York, NY; Rabbi Simcha Brazil, traveled the farthest to attend the 15th we had not thought of. We wish them all Rabbi Yerachmiel Karr, Rabbinic Adminis- Snaid, Rav, Congregation Anshei Sfard, Lou- Annual Star-K Kashrus Training Program – much hatzlachah!” DDailyaily ZZmanimmanim Week of Wednesday July 25 - Tuesday July 31, 2018 WED THURS FRI SAT SUN MON TUES Dawn 4:05 am 4:06 am 4:08 am 4:09 am 4:10 am 4:12 am 4:13 am Earliest talis & tefillin 4:46 am 4:48am 4:49 am 4:50 am 4:51 am 4:52 am 4:53 am Sunrise 5:45 am 5:46 am 5:47 am 5:48 am 5:49 am 5:50 am 5:51 am Latest shema 8:33 am 8:34 am 8:34 am 8:35 am 8:36 am 8:36 am 8:37am Magen Avraham Midday 1:01pm 1:01pm 1:01pm 1:01pm 1:01pm 1:01pm 1:01pm Earliest mincha 1:37pm 1:37pm 1:37pm 1:37pm 1:37pm 1:37pm 1:37pm Plag hamincha Gra 6:46 pm 6:46 pm 6:45 pm 6:44 pm 6:43 pm 6:42 pm 6:42 pm & Baal HaTanya Sunset 8:17 pm 8:16 pm 8:15 pm 8:14 pm 8:13 pm 8:12 pm 8:11 pm Nightfall - 3 stars 9:04 pm 9:03pm 9:02 pm 9:01 pm 9:00 pm 8:59 pm 8:58 pm emerge Nightfall - 72 minutes 9:29 pm 9:28 pm 9:27 pm 9:26 pm 9:25 pm 9:24 pm 9:23 pm Friday July 27, 2018: Candle lighting 7:57pm Shabbos July 28, 2018 ends 9:02pm; ends 9:27pm R’Tam 26 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] 27 Couldn't get to thebMediterranean this summer? 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28 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 FFeatureeature Story After Aliyah From Forest Hills, Oppenheimers Hope To Make A Difference At Secular Yishuv

By David Schneier

rom Forest Hills to now living in a yishuv in Israel, Rabbi Yehuda and FRebbetzin Lonnie Oppenheimer continue to shine the light of Torah. The Rabbi of the Young Israel of Forest Hills from January 2007 to June 2017, Rabbi Oppenheimer and his wife came to live in Lavon, not far from the Lebanon border, in December 2017. They are the only shomer Shabbos couple in a community of 695 people, made up of 250 families, according to a 2016 census. Created in 1980, the town is named after former Israeli Minister of De- fense Pinchas Lavon. Rabbi Oppenheimer said that they do not want “to impose anything on anybody,” but “to do something about the divide between the religious and the non-religious.” “There is a lot more openness towards sey, and Oregon, enables him to do Wills, Daughter Malka and son Dovid live in Bei- To help accomplish this, the Oppenheimers an American person” because the secular Trusts, and Estates for clients in Israel and tar with their young families, and daughter joined forces with Ayelet HaShachar. have heard so many negative things about America. Rabbi Oppenheimer may also be Ashira lives in Jerusalem with her family. The non-proﬁ t Ayelet HaShachar was the chareidi in Israel. the baal t’ﬁ lah for a synagogue in Modi’in, Coming to Lavon “is like visiting the coun- started in 1997 by Shlomo Raanan “to heal Rabbi Oppenheimer and his Rebbetzin Israel, for Rosh HaShanah,” although he try for them.” the divide between the religious and the “want to try to spread Torah in Israel in an won’t earn any income from it. “We love it here; it’s a dream come true. secular,” according to their website. interesting way as a neighbor, as a friend, as Rebbetzin Oppenheimer is doing editing We always dreamed of ending up here,” Israel is “being torn apart by a lack of an equal, and as a role model.” and proofreading for Feldheim Publishers. said Rebbetzin Oppenheimer. understanding of what it means to be reli- Rebbetzin Oppenheimer noted, “Most She is enjoying it a lot. “You get to read a One of the reasons the Oppenheimers gious, what it means to be secular, and how people fall somewhere in the middle be- sefer while working.” She is also looking chose to live in the Galilee is to help make all of us belong to the same people. Sadly, tween the extremes of the religious spec- into working with the elderly as she did sure Jews retain their control over the area, the average Israeli often looks at his fellow trum. Even here in this secular yishuv, 99 at the Margaret Tietz Nursing & Rehabilita- which is 70 percent Arab. “The Arabs in this religious Jew with a measure of contempt percent of the houses have mezuzos. There tion Center in Queens. She hopes to have region know that they live better than they and hatred while, on the other hand, the is still some level of appreciation of Shab- the opportunity to teach and learn with would under Palestinian Authority rule, so religious Jew cannot be open to the ways bos, and of celebrating the chagim. There other women in Eretz Yisrael. they don’t want trouble,” said Rabbi Op- of his secular neighbor.” has been more openness to our presence The rabbi and rebbetzin enjoy the house penheimer. “Jews and Arabs get along pret- here than I thought I would encounter.” they are currently renting. It has beautiful ty well here.” “This generation has a lot less resistance views, a garden, and room for their chil- The rabbi and rebbetzin miss the com- (to Judaism) than the founders of the state.” dren and grandchildren to visit. munity events and the close friendships The connection to Judaism is also stronger While their son Shimshon is still main- they made in Forest Hills but are happy with the non-observant in Israel than with taining an Oppenheimer presence in living in Israel. They welcome guests from the non-observant in America, said the reb- Queens, their other children are in Israel. Queens and hopefully new immigrants as betzin. Daughter Diti is a madrichah at a seminary well. Rabbi Oppenheimer misses “teaching in Jerusalem during the school year and Rabbi Oppenheimer can be reached at Torah at a higher level” in Forest Hills. then head counselor at summer camps. 718-687-6100 or at [email protected]. Many in Lavon have an elementary knowledge of Judaism. Still, “We are excited to be having a positive impact and to make a difference, sharing Torah and helping people to grow – at whatever level they may be – in their appreciation of its eternal wisdom and relevance to their lives.” Rabbi Oppenheimer said that this As many people who have lived in Is- means that “relating to each other with rael know, sometimes one doesn’t do just the “ahavas chinam” (unconditional love) one vocation. Rabbi Oppenheimer is doing that Rav Kook famously spoke about can technical writing of manuals for products, be a potent antidote to the “sinas chinam” which puts his bachelor’s and master’s (baseless hatred) that led to the destruction degrees in Engineering to good use. His of the Second Temple” (which Tish’ah B’Av law degree from Brooklyn Law School, and, indeed, The Three Weeks focus on). and passing the Bar in New York, New Jer-

Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] 29 RRecentecent Happenings

Learning And Fun At Chazaq’s J-Wave Summer Teens Division

Send your simcha notices to Solution to this issue’s puzzles SSimchaimcha Section [email protected]

BBIRTHSIRTHS Ellie and Mira Hakak on the birth of two granddaughters (not twins) in Israel Avraham and Bracha Mitgang on the birth of a daughter, Devorah Yehudis Rabbi Fabian Schonfeld on the birth of a great-granddaughter, born to Ricky and Loo Schindelheim BBATAT AANDND BBATAT MMITZVAHSITZVAHS Marvin and Fran Aschendorf on the Bar Mitzvah of their grandson Yoey Lieberman. Special mazel tov to the great-grandmother, Jennie Aschendorf

Send your simcha notices to [email protected]

30 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 RRecentecent Happenings Kids Of Courage Takes Miami t’s kickoff time! For Kids of Courage, supporting sick children and their Ifamilies is their core mission. With amazing trips, community events, elec- trifying weekends, and the greatest team through it all, KOC does what it takes to bring kids joy and adventure, no matter the diagnosis. As KOC celebrates its tenth year, the organization laces up for another action-packed marathon weekend in Mi- ami Beach, Florida. It’s their eighth year running, walking,

and rolling through the marathon, and you lifting Shabbos experience, KOC’s famous can already feel the excitement! On Sun- pre-race pasta party, victory party, admis- day, January 27, 2019, Kids of Courage will sion to the marathon or half marathon, join thousands of individuals and teams at and of course, the opportunity to meet the Fitbit Miami Marathon and Half Mara- their courageous campers and dedicated thon, as part of a fun, inspiring, and coura- volunteers. geous weekend. The funds raised to com- “It’s bound to be our biggest year yet,” pete with Race For Courage will go toward says Howie Kafka, co-founder of Kids of an organization that creates bright smiles Courage. “With over 100 people joining the and incredible experiences for seriously ill Race for Courage team, we are thrilled to children – and turn their dreams into real- see the sense of community that will take ity, mile by mile. place!” Runners and walkers from across the Along with the Miami air, your participa- country will come together with KOC and tion in this wonderful event will warm the Team Courage for a four-day/three-night hearts of Couragers even before the start stay at a ﬁ ve-star luxury hotel on the beau- line. tiful beaches of Miami, stepping off their Get a head start and register today at ﬂ ight and into custom KOC gear. The fully RaceForCourage.org for the experience of catered weekend includes all meals, an up- a lifetime.

Rabbinical Alliance Of America Supports Passage Of The Nation-State Bill In Israel he Rabbinical Alliance of America Additionally, this bill’s passage will help Rabbi Yehoshua S. Hecht, Presidium and their ongoing negotiation over the de- (the Igud HaRabbonim), with a mem- protect Israel and Israelis from the anti-re- Chair of the RAA/Igud, stated, “Israel is the tails of the Nation-State law. The RAA/ Tbership of over 950 Orthodox rabbis, ligious coercion and judicial manipulation homeland of the Jewish people. It must Igud looks to Israel to continue modeling supports the passage of the Nation-State that, in the name of humanism and liber- remain a beacon of decency where family the best of the Jewish spirit. The miracu- bill under consideration in the Knesset that alism, trample on basic Jewish principles. values and basic standards, held sacred by lous Jewish state must represent all that will codify already-essential elements of Is- Jews in Israel and throughout the world the Jewish people for millennia, are not is hopeful and possible in our time. The rael’s make-up. These elements include the support the offi ce of the Chief Rabbinate trampled upon with impunity.” time is overdue to pass a Nation-State bill country’s predominantly Jewish character of Israel in its national role. The RAA/Igud Rabbis from across North America, rep- that guarantees that Jewish communities and balance; its right to rely on Jewish law refuses to sit by silently while militant el- resented by the RAA/Igud, raise their voic- will never again suffer destruction and in addition to the range of legal systems to ements of Diaspora and Israeli secularists es in support of an Israel that heeds both exile. which its courts refer; its use of Hebrew as – aided by the progressive streams of Ju- the Prophetic and Rabbinic calls for jus- The RAA/Igud continues to pray for the main language of cultural discourse; daism – manipulate Israel’s liberal activist tice and compassion for the “home-born” the peace of all who desire peace and for and its ability to continue to serve as the courts to divest the country of its religious- and “stranger” alike. The nearly 1,000 rab- all who work to bring understanding and religious and cultural center of the Jewish humanistic values rooted in the ancient bis of the RAA/Igud urge Israel’s elected truth to a world so confl icted and splin- people worldwide. Jewish tradition. offi cials to act responsibly and fairly in tered.

Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] 31

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32 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 RRecentecent Happenings

Ronald Fatoullah & Associates Host Educational Seminar At The Boulevard Assisted Living

By Yaakov Serle unexpected long-term care and the im- long-term care, and discussed estate tax vision and commitment to the residents portance of several crucial planning planning techniques, gifting strategies, at Boulevard Assisted Living in Queens. any of our readers look forward documents including Power of Attorney, and the utilization of asset preservation I learned that the Boulevard is a special to the articles published in the Health Care Proxy, Living Will, and Last trusts. Ms. Forspan explained the differ- assisted living facility called an ALP, as MQueens Jewish Link written by Will and Testament. He also discussed ences between revocable and irrevoca- it is a facility that accepts Community the elder law attorneys at Ronald Fa- the guidelines and process involved ble trusts and how an “irrevocable” trust Medicaid toward the cost of care for the toullah & Associates. Various elder care for applying for both nursing home can legally be reversed. residents (as per the New York State Of- topics have been discussed, including and community home care Medicaid in Mr. Shulman discussed the impor- fi ce for the Aging’s Assisted Living Pro- information on trusts and estates, the New York. In addition, Mr. Fatoullah ex- tance of fi duciaries and family members gram). The facility also has a Home Care importance of preparing advance direc- plained that he is a partner with Advice having access to important personal and Department and can assist individuals tives, planning for long-term care, and Period, a company that provides wealth fi nancial information in the event of un- living in the community with home care applying for Medicaid. and fi nancial consulting, and his exten- expected incapacity or medical issues. services as well. The Boulevard Assisted I was recently invited to a compli- sive fi nancial expertise and knowledge Mr. Shulman distributed a tool called Living Community recently opened a mentary educational seminar and lunch- benefi ts their clients in asset planning the “Personal Document Locator.” This new location in Brooklyn. eon at The Boulevard Assisted Living and protection. booklet provides your attorney, fi duci- I learned that Ronald Fatoullah & As- Community located in Flushing, hosted Elizabeth Forspan, Esq. is the fi rm’s ary, and loved ones with online account sociates has been helping many senior by Ronald Fatoullah & Associates. A de- managing attorney who frequently co- usernames/passwords, account num- citizens and their families with the legal licious kosher lunch was followed with authors articles published in QJL. Eliza- bers, and location of all fi nancial hold- and fi nancial challenges of aging and presentations by Ronald Fatoullah, Esq., beth has strong ties to the Queens Jew- ings, and contact information for legal asset protection for over 30 years. The founder of Ronald Fatoullah & Associ- ish community, having attended Queens representation, insurance policies, and fi rm also focuses on Medicaid eligibility, ates; Elizabeth Forspan, Esq., managing College and having in-laws who reside physicians. The booklet also provides nursing home matters, estate tax plan- attorney for the fi rm; Perry Shulman, in the community. Ms. Forspan contin- written documentation as to whom you ning, estate litigation, probate, guardian- CPA; and Bruce Neufeld, Administrator ued the discussion regarding important have appointed as agents to act on your ships, and special needs planning. I look of The Boulevard. planning for possible long-term-care behalf with regard to your advance di- forward to attending their next event in Mr. Fatoullah began by discussing needs. She explained how tax planning rectives. the area. Please enjoy the attached pho- the importance of being prepared for and gifting is related to Medicaid-funded Finally, Bruce Neufeld spoke about his tographs of the event.

Rabbi Zvi Lew Speaks At Congregation Etz Chaim

By Susie Garber was careful in all he did, and all he did was say it for the other nine times. According to based on humility. the Abarbanel, the reason the word test is abbi Zvi Lew, Limudei Kodesh teach- Rabbi Lew then pointed out that we only used for the Akeidah is because there er at Yeshiva University High School know nothing about Avraham’s early life is really just one test. The other nine were Rfor Girls, shared a fascinating shiur from the Torah. All we know is that he grew mitzvos from G-d, not direct tests. By doing for women at Congregation Etz Chaim on up in Ur Kasdim. The midrashim teach us what he was commanded, Avraham passed Tuesday evening, July10, as part of a weekly about his early life, which leads to some the “tests.” The purpose of these tests, ac- shiur he is presenting this summer on per- interesting comparisons of Avraham and cording to the Ramban, is to go from poten- sonalities in Tanah. Moshe. There is a midrash that Nimrod con- tial to actual. The only way to improve is to He began with an intriguing mishnah sidered himself like a god, and his stargaz- perform an action. The Ramban says that in Pirkei Avos that teaches the difference ers saw that someone would challenge him. the purpose of a test is to show the world between the students of Avraham and Interestingly, this parallels Moshe, because what tzadikim can do. Avraham’s fi rst test the students of Bilaam. After detailing the stargazers predicted his birth. Both Moshe was to leave his homeland. The reason he differences, he then explained why the and Avraham had a king who wanted to kill had to leave was because a leader needs to mishnah would compare these two peo- him. Both Moshe and Avraham did not stay be in a place where he can affect the world. ple. A student of Avraham has a good eye. means that they are not satisfi ed with what in one place, and not staying in one place Also, you can’t improve yourself when you The Rambam says that this means that he they have. They are not careful, and they encourages the aspect of humility. Moshe are around bad people. is satisfi ed with what he has. He also has a are arrogant. Rabbi Lew explained that Bi- argues more with Hashem while Avraham Rabbi Lew pointed out that one aspect low spirit, which means he is careful, and laam’s relationship with G-d was all about only argues in relation to Sodom. Avraham we don’t speak that much about is how in- the third characteristic is that he has a low himself. Bilaam was told to get ready to asks Hashem how he will know Hashem’s telligent Avraham was. He fi gured out that soul, which means that he has humility. A go. However, he took matters into his own promise at the Bris Bein HaB’sarim will there was a G-d all on his own from view- student of Avraham is satisfi ed with what hands and decided to go before receiving come true. He is worried that he will not ing nature. He also had a way of dealing he has, careful with what he does, and he is Hashem’s instructions. Avraham behaved be worthy. Moshe also asks, Who am I to with people in the best way possible. humble. It is interesting that chesed, which in the opposite way. With the Akeidah, lead the Jews? Rabbi Lew concluded that we learn from we normally associate with Avraham, is not Hashem gave the command and Avraham Rabbi Lew then went on to explain Avaham’s wisdom, humility, and chesed. mentioned here. did what Hashem said. His attitude was: If ideas about Avraham’s ten tests. He noted We need the stories in the Chumash about On the other hand, the students of Bi- G-d wants me to do something, then I will that the Torah only mentions the word test the Avos because this teaches us how we laam are characterized by a bad eye. This do it. He didn’t think of himself as great. He once, and that is at the Akeidah. It doesn’t should behave.

Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] 33 RRecentecent Happenings Rebbetzin Devorah Kigel Draws met’s convenient location – in Record Crowd In Queens the heart of the Queens commu- Enity, where many students live – allows its teachers and rabbis to be By Susie Garber involved in the students’ lives both on- campus and off-campus. Emet students arriage takes a lot of work. It’s span the horizon from Sephardic to important to have the proper Ashkenazic. However, being in the heart “Mexpectations for marriage. of Queens, which today boasts the larg- You can’t expect it will be all birds sing- est concentration of Bukharian Jews in ing and rainbows. You have to be prepared the world, Emet plays a major role in the for the bumps,” Rebbetzin Devorah Kigel lives of Bukharian college students and stated. On Monday evening, July 16, an young adults. overfl ow crowd of women fi lled the Emet A unique aspect of Emet is that it is Outreach offi ce on Union Turnpike eager involved simultaneously in campus and to hear a shalom bayis shiur from Rebbet- community outreach. Emet’s learning zin Kigel. “She’s an amazing rebbetzin,” one programs, which include lunch-and- Emet Outreach student exclaimed. It was learns, lectures, as well as small group clear she has a beautiful connection with learning, take place daily in several col- so many women of all ages and levels of leges. Emet rabbis and educators also observance. keep in touch with students beyond What an incredible impact Emet Out- the confi nes of the campus. Summer reach is making on our Queens community programs, Shabbatons, special events, and beyond, with their college and com- and weekly evening community-based munity programs and rabbis and educators classes are integral parts of Emet’s all- who stay in touch with students and are encompassing approach. truly making a difference in their lives. Emet features ten weekly programs We all know that shalom bayis and its on- and off-campus for Emet students impact on the Jewish family, is the key to each semester. Jewish existence. Bilaam knew this when as possible. This is one of the halachos of to say, this person is the bashert for me.” he wanted to curse the Jewish people and the fi rst year of marriage. “Have a lot of date The fourth idea is that your husband ing devoted mentch is everything.” You ended up blessing us because of the beauty nights before the kids to build your mar- cannot be expected to read your mind. Let want to marry someone with a good heart and modesty of our tents in the famous riage.” She spoke about a savings account him know what you want and need. “Don’t who treats you respectfully She stressed prayer Mah Tovu. Later, this was what he that needs deposits before you can make think he doesn’t love you if he can’t intuit that he must have someone he will lis- attacked when he wanted to hurt the Jew- withdrawals. Withdrawals are criticisms. what is in your head.” She stated, “We are ten to for advice, like a rabbi or therapist ish people with the incident of Baal P’or. Put in lots of deposits of compliments and more complicated than men.” or even an older married relative. “Do not With warmth, humor, and genuine car- “I love you’s” before any criticisms or sug- The fi fth idea is marriage is not like a underestimate the importance of a third ing, Rebbetzin Kigel shared a focused shiur gestions. She explained that therefore en- trip to Costco. There is a mentality today party.” She said to the single girls, “Train that covered the ten things I wish I knew gagement and the fi rst year are so challeng- if something breaks, we return it and get a yourselves to be attracted to the nice guys. about marriage before I married. The prac- ing because you haven’t had time to put new one. Repair doesn’t happen much. This A good dresser with swag is not necessarily tical ideas she taught were received with in deposits. When you want to criticize, mentality has seeped into our conscious- going to be a good husband.” great interest by her large audience of mar- always ask yourself,” Is it worth risking my ness. If both partners are willing to give 100 The ninth idea is you must allow your- ried women and single women preparing shalom bayis to have this discussion?” percent, then you can work on it. She im- self to depend on someone. “He wants to to marry. “Shanah rishonah is not one year,” The third idea is to maximize each parted, “If you are not ready to make mar- help me. Rely on him.” You want your hus- she stated. “It’s really ten years. It takes a phase of marriage. Train yourself so chesed riage the priority, then you are not ready to band to feel like a hero, not a child. Treat decade to fi gure your spouse out and get is natural. Rebbetzin Kigel taught, “Mar- get married. him as your partner. Always phrase needs in a good place with your marriage.” She riage is about putting someone else’s needs The sixth idea is G-d’s presence is there as requests, not as demands. added a caveat: “This all applies to regular, fi rst much of the time.” She noted that the when a husband and wife are intimate The tenth idea is you want to marry normal marriages. Anything off the chart biggest problem she hears over and over is according to the laws of Taharas HaMish- someone with the same vision for the fu- like physical abuse, emotional abuse, men- women who feel stretched too thin. They pachah. There is so much potential for ho- ture who shares your Jewish values and tal illness – these rules do not apply.” are working outside the home and respon- liness in this area. Just as we need to work goals. She quipped, “Men are a different spe- sible for the children and the house and on closeness in communication, and other The eleventh idea is that each spouse is cies.” Wisely she noted that you cannot ex- they don’t have time for themselves or areas in our relationship, this is an area we working on his or her character develop- pect them to be like your best girlfriend. “I their marriage. She advised, “Think about need to work on as well. ment and they will naturally meet in the do feel my husband is my best friend but how much time you spend out of the The seventh idea is, while dating, middle and grow closer to G-d. Judaism not like a girlfriend.” She explained that house when you have young children.” She keep your eyes wide open; but under the isn’t about sacrifi cing for one another. It’s most women need to be validated and men shared how she adapted her work sched- chupah, close one eye as much as possible. about constant work on oneself. This work don’t always know how to do this. She then ule, so she could be home more when her We want to have an ayin tovah. Remind is contagious. began listing the ten things that we should children were little. When you are married yourself constantly why you married your She cautioned, “Men don’t respond well know to help us with shalom bayis. with children, it is giving 24/7. This is the husband. It’s work to constantly train our to complaints and criticisms. Be careful. First, marriage is not a constant state of chesed you are involved in. vision towards positive. Try not to be critical. Don’t’ be his mother. bliss. You need proper expectations. Mar- Please don’t keep score, she cautioned. The eighth idea is that the most im- Don’t focus on the negative.” riage helps us work on our midos. We are Don’t count how much you did and how portant thing in a husband is midos. Jobs She ended with a powerful idea. When here in this world to work on our character much your spouse did. She also stated, and money come and go. Infatuation lasts you are about to criticize, think United 93. traits. Hashem gives us people to help us “Once you are under the chupah, you have about eighteen months. She taught, “A lov- That was the plane that crashed with 9/11 ter- do this. She said, “No one escapes.” People rorists aboard. Spouses called to say good-bye in our society are brainwashed with the then, and their messages were “I love you,” idea that once we make the right choice in not anything else. “We can get bogged down marriage then we merrily sail off into the in stupidities in life.” “I want to focus on what sunset. This is a lie. It’s going to be hard is important in my life and my husband. work. She said, “You want to fi nd someone Hashem gave me this gift of a husband with you have fun with doing regular mundane a leiv tov who wants to make me happy. He things.” She shared the analogy of the her- has different strengths and we complement mit crab that grows out of its shell when each other.” She concluded with a beautiful it becomes uncomfortable and in pain, and brachah for the married and single members then it has a new shell. The discomfort and of the audience. pain contribute to his growth. She taught, Everyone left uplifted and determined “Change and growth only come through to work on these important ideas. struggle.” She mentioned some helpful books, in- The second point is you should take a cluding The 5 Love languages by Gary Chap- last hurrah vacation before children come man and Understanding Men by Alison on the scene. Spend as much time together Armstrong.

34 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 UUpcomingpcoming Events

Bonei Olam: A Companion On The Journey Of Life Mazal Tov! Aviva became a kallah last ics knowledge, has been that very one of us is placed here on Earth to com- for them. night! trusted friend and advisor to plete our destined journey. Some have a rock- Bonei Olam is not just an organization; Bonei hundreds of people who are Eier way, some encounter darker roads, some Olam is family. Their mission is family. Their philoso- Who was the shadchan? today happily married parents travel with more loneliness. We all have to navigate phy is family. As community members and members Bonei Olam! of children of their own! the thoroughfares of life, but more importantly, we of this family, we all feel the pain of childless couples, Bonei Olam? Shadchan? Bonei Olam is not just the are tasked with the mission of assisting our fellow and all of us daven and wish we could do something Yes! address for fi nancial help, passengers on their journeys, especially those shoul- to help them. We can. Bonei Olam is our collective guidance, and support for in- dering more diffi cult roadblocks than most. messenger. Through Bonei Olam, we can assist our Many times, for a host of fertility. Bonei Olam is there Bonei Olam, metaphorically as well as physically fellow neighbors, friends, and relatives still longing reasons, when it comes to for klal Yisrael’s families, in a and fi nancially, understands this mission well. It ded- to become parents. shidduchim, many girls and variety of capacities. icates its every ounce of energy, time, and resources In the words of one Five Towns community mem- boys who have had to deal Bonei Olam has the know- to paving the roads, removing the boulders, lighting ber, “The work of Bonei Olam is the responsibility of with issues in their past will how to ensure that couples the way, and providing those on the journey of infer- each of us in the community. We need to be thankful have a hard time becoming aren’t in jeopardy because of tility with everything they need to start a family of to Bonei Olam for doing the job that we should be do- engaged. a shidduch. their own. ing on our own, and we need to continue supporting These are regular, intel- Bonei Olam has the com- Bonei Olam, since its inception, has been the ad- them in this holy work, so that they will never have ligent, personable boys and passion to facilitate these dress for couples seeking to build a family. What to leave any couple mid-journey!” girls, who happened to have shidduchim with grace, dig- began as a small chesed project of individuals help- This year’s Bonei Olam Queens Event will, b’ezras had some sort of medical or nity, and respect. ing their fellow Yidden has grown into a global or- Hashem, be held on Wednesday, August 1, at the home genetic issue at some point in Bonei Olam has the experi- ganization. Bonei Olam is an organization that is of Hudi and Orit Newman, 135-10 78th Road, Flushing, their life. ence to direct each prospec- changing the face of the Jewish world to the tune NY. The theme this year is a Backyard Barbecue spon- All those issues are behind tive zivug to the appropriate of thousands of new babies, thousands of jubilant sored by Seasons and Tevya’s Ranch. Enjoy a kumsitz them now, yet when it comes channels of information for parents, and hundreds of thousands of new possi- with Eli Levin and hear an inspiring address from to a shidduch, they need some- their particular situation. bilities for klal Yisrael’s eternal destiny. Rabbi Shlomo Bochner, founder of Bonei Olam. one they can trust to assure Bonei Olam is steadfast in From the very fi rst phone call until the ultimate Please “Join the Journey” and support Bonei Olam them that they can, and should, its commitment to klal Yisra- simchah, Bonei Olam is there for each and every cou- by attending the Queens Backyard Barbecue fundrais- proceed with the match. el’s families, no matter what! ple in a personal way. A couple’s lack of funds to pay er. Your support will have a dramatic impact on the Bonei Olam, with its un- for the necessary procedures is no longer a reason for childless couples in Queens. paralleled communal genet- Mazal Tov indeed! the couple to remain childless; Bonei Olam is there This Wednesday Evening: Join The Journey!

alone. “I know you came out tonight to Let No One Cry Alone: RCCS Fundraiser In KGH Focuses On Feeling Others’ Pain write checks. I hope you write big, enor- CONTINUED FROM P. 19 middle of the night when her two young Just as they have wiped away the tears of mous checks. But on Erev Tish’ah B’Av, kids were home with the fl u. She called all these families, let us now wipe away writing checks just ain’t enough.” The organization’s most meaningful me back with answers less than 30 min- someone else’s tears.” Rabbi Shapiro related a number of sto- contribution, though, is not any fi nancial utes later. I don’t know who picked up Rabbi Shapiro noted that the timing of ries of g’dolim making personal sacrifi ces or medical support. According to the ben- the pieces, but she dropped everything the fundraiser, only days before Tish’ah in order to suffer along with someone else efi ciaries featured at the event, what mat- to help me. When I didn’t know what B’Av, should be an opportunity for learn- who was suffering. In one particularly tered most in their fi ghts against cancer to do, RCCS always, always, always was ing, for change, and perhaps for miracles poignant example, he spoke of a gifted was the step-by-step, round-the-clock blan- there for me, and most importantly, they – and held up RCCS as a beacon of compas- 12-year-old yeshivah student who begged ket of support that RCCS provides to each cared.” sion that should guide individuals to help his baffl ed teachers to tutor him after class one of its patients. The knowledge that someone was there others share the burdens of their suffering. despite his earning perfect grades. When One speaker, Moshe Seidenfeld, re- by his side gave Rabbi Rosenberg the cour- “This fundraiser comes just before pressed for an explanation, the boy ad- called how RCCS had supported his age to fi ght on against the cancer. “Having Tish’ah B’Av; that makes it different,” he mitted that he had asked to be tutored so mother-in-law, Sylvia Greenhouse Lieber them on speed-dial gave me that confi dence explained. “Before Tish’ah B’Av, people are that the only other student being tutored of Yonkers, in her fi ght through terminal and that calm to weather the storm. In those davening for lots of personal things: r’fuos, would not feel alone or ashamed. That boy blood cancer and myelofi brosis. When her darkest moments, when the whole world and y’shuos, shidduchim, gazundt and sha- in that story was Gilad Shaar, one of the children were forced to work through her was crashing down around me, they were lom bayis, and parnasah; but the biggest three Israeli boys murdered in 2014 in Is- illness, and family members were unavail- there to guide me and hold my hand. thing that we’re davening for now is for rael’s Gush Etzion in the West Bank. able to stay at her bedside in the hospital, Sarah and Abe Rosenberg,* Rabbi Rosen- there to be an end to this funereal galus. “He taught us to think about someone RCCS paid for someone to sit with her all berg’s parents, said that the organization’s It’s been too long. else,” said Rabbi Shapiro. “Can we become day, every day, until she passed so that support helped them to cope with their “Your calendar says that this Sunday one of those g’dolim? Probably not. But the she wouldn’t be alone. “They had a person own devastation over the diagnosis. “To Tish’ah B’Av is to be observed,” he contin- good news is, everyone can learn the art of there advocating for her all day and ad- hear that your son has cancer is a very big ued, “but who says it has to be that way? nosei b’ol chaveiro. dressing her every need with her doctors. shock,” said Mr. Rosenberg. “You don’t real- This Tish’ah B’Av can already be a mo’eid.” “There’s so much you can do. You can Even when that support person couldn’t ize how big it is until you’re involved in Commemorating the destruction of the daven for a person; you can call him or her get in touch with the doctors, RCCS found it. At a time when you feel lost and devas- Second Holy Temple in 70 CE, Tish’ah B’Av up and say, ‘I’ve been thinking about you’; someone who could. Knowing that she tated, there’s somebody there who is com- is the one day of the Jewish calendar re- you can offer someone fi nancial help, was being taken care of – it was an incredi- passionate and who has answers and who served for mourning. Despite the sadness emotional help, physical help. There’s an ble fi nancial and emotional burden lifted.” cares about you… and suddenly you don’t that attends the day, texts suggest that infi nite number of ways in which you can Another benefi ciary, Rabbi Nathan feel alone.” Mashiach will be born on Tish’ah B’Av and help someone going through tzaros. As Rosenberg* of Kew Gardens Hills, spoke RCCS’s expertise and logistical profi - that Jews can hasten the coming of the RCCS says, just don’t let them be alone.” of his own experience with cancer and ciency also proved invaluable in helping Mashiach by fulfi lling more mitzvos. Mrs. Rosenberg marveled that so much how RCCS had guided him and his them manage their son’s care. “Any lit- According to Rabbi Shapiro, one of the had been done for her son and others family through diffi cult times. Fifteen tle thing we needed, they did,” said Mrs. most important mitzvos – and the mitzvah across the Jewish community, all in the months ago, as a newly married with his Rosenberg. “Of all the resources out there, encapsulated by RCCS’s mission – is compas- name of compassion and empathy. “The fi rst child on the way, Rabbi Rosenberg our son felt very strongly that RCCS was sion: not only in thought but also in deed. fact that the Jewish people have an organi- felt a lump on his back and was soon his lifeline. It gave him hope.” “Nosei b’ol chaveiro: Do you feel some- zation like this that we can turn to – it’s diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma. Echoing the accounts of RCCS’s benefi - one else’s pain? Do you feel someone else’s huge. I can’t say how huge it is to help peo- RCCS not only handled logistical basics ciaries and the mission statements of its tzaros? That could be the missing ingredi- ple navigate through cancer.” like connecting him with doctors, sched- leaders, keynote speaker Rabbi Shapiro ent to end this galus. RCCS is the epitome Her husband was more succinct. “Thank uling appointments, and supplementing called for compassion for individuals to of nosei b’ol chaveiro. They make miracles G-d for G-d, thank G-d for the doctors, and his healthcare costs, it also provided a actively engage with the suffering of their happen.” thank G-d for RCCS.” lifeline of guidance and emotional sup- community members. “‘Brothers and sis- But showing empathy, he continued, port. “Whenever I had a question, my ters: You are not alone.’ This is the motto is not only about donating money; it is *Names have been changed to protect liaison, Chava Katz, would drop every- of RCCS,” he said, “Just as they stand with equally important to take the time to the privacy of the patients. thing to help me,” he recalled, becom- Jews suffering from cancer, so must you stand with someone experiencing a tzarah To donate or apply for help, call 718-722- ing emotional. “Once I called her in the stand with anyone who suffers alone. so that he or she does not have to suffer 2002 or email [email protected]

Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] 35 Community Calendar RRecentecent Happenings Compiled by Rebecca Wittert THE CALENDAR FOR ALL EVENTS IN QUEENS Young Israel Calls On Facebook JULY For more information, please call 212-252- 1212 (ext. 229) or email [email protected]. To Ban Holocaust Deniers At 6:00 p.m., the Young Israel of Kew he National Council of Young Is- ish men, women, and children who per- Gardens Hills will At 6:00 p.m., the rael (NCYI) last week called on Fa- ished during one of the darkest chapters hold the eighth lec- cebook to take immediate steps to in world history, and it is unfathomable Young Israel of Kew T ture in its Summer bar Holocaust deniers from the popular that Facebook allows itself to be used Shabbos 28 social media site after Mark Zuckerberg, as a vehicle to perpetuate such a blatant Shabbos Afternoon Gardens Hills will Lecture Series for the company’s CEO, defended their right distortion of what took place during the

Shabbos hold the ninth lec- men and women. Rabbi Elimelech Gottli- 4 to publish posts denying the Holocaust, Holocaust.” even though he fi nds their positions “This is not a freedom of speech issue; eb will speak on the topic, “The Spiritual, ture in its Summer The Ethical, and The Practical.” The talk “deeply offensive.” rather, it is a question of inciting hatred “By knowingly providing a public plat- against Jews, which Facebook cannot and will take place in the Beis Midrash. Shabbos Afternoon Lecture Series for men form for Holocaust deniers to spew their should not condone in any way,” contin- and women. Dr. Daniel Hoffman will At 8:30 p.m., the malicious lies, Facebook is validating a ued Weiss. “Facebook must immediately dangerous form of anti-Semitism that has cease permitting its users to brazenly Young Israel of Kew speak on the topic “Responding To Natu- no place in a civilized society,” said NCYI spread misinformation about the tragic Gardens Hills (70th ral & Technological Disasters - What Can President Farley Weiss. “Denying the hei- fate that befell the Jews during the Holo- Road and 150th We Do For Ourselves And Our Children.” nous and indescribable atrocities carried caust and stop giving license to hatemon- Sunday 29 Street, Kew Gardens out by the Nazis is a terrible affront to the gers who engage in blatant anti-Semitism Hills) will host a talk The talk will take place in the Beis Me- memories of the six million innocent Jew- and revisionist history.” by Rabbi Dr. Aaron Rakeffet on the topic “Fate and Destiny: dresh. From Churban to Binyan – Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik on Personal and National A Note From Zisi Naimark Redemption.” Men and women are invit- There will be a ed to attend. Free admission. Hanachah (Our Interior Design Columnist) At 8:15 p.m., Rabbi Zvi K’Halachah T’Ó lin Lew, popular limudei Sunday 26 Program at Torah Dear Readers, Oh, and rock gardens do not require kodesh educator, will It has come to my attention that the watering. They’re made of rocks. deliver the Ó fth of his Ohr Hebrew Acade- ghost story requires clarifi cation. No, it is The one aspect of the story that is true weekly summer shi- not real. I honestly didn’t think one per- is that a neighbor once mowed their lawn Tuesday Tuesday 31 my in Great Neck. Details to follow. urim for women on son would believe it. in the dead of night. But I didn’t say any- “Interesting Person- Further clarifi cation: The joke of the thing. alities in Tanach” at Congregation Etz story was on the narrator (me), who be- Best wishes, Chaim of Kew Gardens Hills (147-19 73rd Ave- SEPTEMBER lieves in ghosts but not in drug abuse. Zisi nue, Kew Gardens Hills). For more information, please call 718-575-0594. At 8:00 p.m., Congre- AUGUST 2018 gation Ahavas Yisro- el will present a spe- Bonei Olam Queens will hold a barbecue 5 cial Yamim Nora’im with entertainment Wednesday shiur by Rabbi Dov- by Eli Levin at the 1 home of Hudi and id Fohrman of Aleph Beta, author of The Wednesday Wednesday Orit Newman (135-10 Beast That Crouches at the Door, The Queen 78th Road, Kew Gar- dens Hills). You Thought You Knew, and more.

Your business can sponsor TO ADD YOUR EVENT the QJL Community Calendar. TO OUR COMMUNITY CALENDAR, PLEASE EMAIL THE EVENT, DATE/TIME, PLACE, Please contact Yaakov at 718-880-2622 or e-mail AND A BRIEF DESCRIPTION TO: [email protected] [email protected]

36 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 On TThehe RRoadoad Terri B. Kalker, Esq. Toto…You’re Not In Kansas Anymore

ne need only take a short drive around the neighborhood to notice Othe recent additions of pavement markings along our street. Each one is meant to restrict or prohibit specifi c move- ments or limit access to certain types only. While one may disagree with the place- ment and effectiveness of these (as I do), nonetheless, disregarding them can result in being ticketed. 4. To avoid an obstacle; and 73rd Avenue, you must be in the right lane Bike Lane 5. To comply with the directions of a from at least 1/3 block away. It is likely that One of Mayor Bill de Blasio’s pet projects law-enforcement offi cer. there were collisions there of people turn- was the addition of 75 miles of bike path You can only enter the bus lane when ing from the wrong lane or switching at the yearly. The city’s bike network is currently you are within a block of your right-hand last second into the right lane. about 1,700 miles. A motorist is not allowed turn and if you are not interfering with a to stop, stand, or park in a bike lane. Cross- bus. School Zone ing a bike lane is prohibited except when Some NYC buses are equipped with cam- I also noticed that they painted the word turning, leaving a parking space or drive- eras. Bus drivers have the ability to snap “SCHOOL” along Main Street when it is in way, or avoiding an obstacle. A motorist photos of motorists illegally using the bus such a vicinity. There are special rules that must yield to bicyclists and pedestrians as lane. Such a ticket does not carry points or apply in a school zone. This involves the well as watch for them when turning or fense (as well as bike lane) involves a $138 appear on a driver’s abstract. ability of the city to install speed cameras opening vehicle doors. It should also be fi ne and carries two points on your license in a school zone. Most school zones oper- noted that bicyclists also have regulations. (as of 2/25/2010). Solid White Line ate from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. If issued a ticket by One must ride in a bike lane whenever Section 412(m) states that when signage Today, while driving on Main Street ap- a police offi cer, speeding in a school zone provided and follow all traffi c signals and is displayed designating a lane to be a bus proaching 73rd Avenue, I noticed the city can result in double points. markings. One should ride in the direction lane, no one is to drive their vehicle in that has painted a solid white line separating As this will likely be my last article for of traffi c and yield to pedestrians. Cyclists lane during the marked hours of operation the right and left lanes when traveling to- the season, I wish you all a happy and safe age 14 and over must ride in the street. except under the following fi ve exception- ward 73rd Avenue from 75th Avenue. This summer season. al circumstances: means that if you intend to turn right onto Drive carefully!! Bus Lane 1. To make a right-hand turn onto a street New York City Traffi c Regulation section or private drive; Terri B. Kalker, Esq., is the principal lawyer of the Law Offi ce of Terri B. Kalker, a law fi rm that, for 412(m) generally restricts motorists from 2. To approach or leave a curbside; the past 25 years, concentrated on criminal and traffi c law. The fi rm is reachable via email at tbkesq@ driving in a bus lane. A violation of this of- 3. To expeditiously discharge passengers; nyticketlaw.com or phone: 718-793-1900.

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Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] 37 Weekly TTefilahefilah FFocusocus

Ahavah Rabah 20 Understanding Our Role As a Tzelem Elokim

ha’bocheir b’amo Yisrael b’ahavah pose that nobody else in the world of the yeitzer ha’ra is to convince us learn Torah, and perform mitzvos and …Who chooses his people Israel with can fulfi ll. Every one of us is unique in that we don’t matter. Who are we? Each acts of chesed, who can imagine how love. our nature and our life setting. We all of us is just a “simple Jew.” We need to precious that is to Hashem and how we have our unique strengths and weak- constantly remind ourselves that not are impacting worlds? ***** nesses. We each have our own indi- only do we matter to those around us, We don’t need to make it into Ha- We mentioned last week that the vidual challenges in life and on each but we matter to the entire world! Our modia or the Queens Jewish Link to be conclusion of this brachah is telling us day. Most of us likely think about how “small” decisions do impact worlds. g’dolim, great people. Each and every that Hashem is choosing us now – in the our thoughts, words, and actions affect Some examples of daily world-impact- one of us has greatness within us. We present tense – with love. When were others around us, and how they affect ing decisions are whether: to overcome just need to recognize and appreciate we actually chosen? our future eternal world, Olam HaBa. various challenges and not sin, to not that we do matter, and that any one sin- The Gemara (P’sachim 118a) states But how many of us recognize and ap- be angry, to say a kind word of praise or gle, tiny movement closer to Hashem that from the creation of the world, and preciate that on each and every day we comfort, to smile at someone when we is HUGE. The farther we are now, the for 26 generations – until Rosh Chodesh impact the world? Every tefi lah and don’t feel like smiling, to learn another more precious is one tiny movement Nisan of the month that Hashem took mitzvah has the potential to change minute of Torah, to focus a bit more closer. The more diffi cult it is for us, the us out of Mitzrayim – Hashem sus- someone’s life – maybe not the person during tefi lah despite many issues on more precious it is to Hashem, despite tained the world purely because of His we have in mind – but our heartfelt our minds, and endless other decisions how “small” the action we did or did chesed. On that Rosh Chodesh Nisan, tefi los are affecting the world and oth- we make each day. Can we imagine how not do is. everything changed. ers around us. precious it is to Hashem and the impact We have the tremendous privilege At that time, Hashem gave us the We may be thinking that, while we on the worlds when we remain strong of Hashem choosing us as His nation mitzvah of “Ha’chodesh ha’zeh lachem can accept that tzadikim affect the in our emunah and bitachon despite ex- every day with love. Let us work on rosh chodashim.” Hashem, at that mo- world, it is diffi cult to believe that I – tremely diffi cult and painful events in recognizing, appreciating, and taking ment, turned over to us the control of a simple, plain Jew – can have that im- our lives? advantage of the great opportunity we deciding when the new month would pact. The Arizal, who lived about 500 The availability today of immoral- have to infl uence the fl ow of blessing begin. As a result, we determine precise- years ago, is quoted by his students as ity and thinking that is totally in op- to the world, to those around us, and to ly when the Yamim Tovim will occur. saying that a very small action in his position to Torah values, coupled with ourselves. HaRav Chaim Friedlander (Sifsei Chaim, generation was equal to many mitz- such unprecedented ease through the As part of our new Mitzvah Series, Moadim 2) explains that there was a vos performed by the great Tana’im, click of a fi nger almost anywhere and daily recordings of less than two min- fundamental change in creation at that Amora’im, and Rishonim. We don’t anytime, presents challenges the Arizal utes each day are available. Sign up by moment. From that moment and for- know the method used to measure up could not have fathomed without ruach sending an email to dveikus4u@gmail. ward, Hashem also gave us the ability in the Heavenly court, but the Arizal ha’kodesh. If despite the mountains of com and put the word “Subscribe” in the and the responsibility to infl uence His is telling us that the level of challenge challenges that surround us, we live a Subject line. In addition, we now have a guidance of the world and all that hap- and diffi culty is a huge factor. If he said Torah life with emunah and bitachon in daily one-minute recording on Tefi lah. pens in the world. Our thoughts, words, this about his generation 500 years ago, the face of painful and diffi cult events To access Audio, Video, and Archives and actions down here impact the way when the Beis Yosef and many other in our lives, work slowly and steadily of previous Tefi lah segments, please visit Hashem runs the world. greats lived, what would he say about on our midos, deal honestly in business, www.WeeklyTefi lahFocus.com. If we are alive and breathing, each the generation we live in today? and every one of us has a unique pur- One of the most dangerous weapons You can direct any questions or comments to Eliezer Szrolovits at 917-551-0150.

Birkas HaTorah #1 HHalachicalachic Highlights (For p’sak halachah, please ask your own rav.) Rabbi Ephraim Glatt, Esq. Did You Say Birkas HaTorah?

Question: You want to learn before plying that it is only Rabbinic in nature. repeat any of the brachos, based on the IV. Dissenting Opinions Shacharis, but you cannot remember if rule “safeik d’Rabbanan l’kula.” There are other opinions on this is- you already said Birkas HaTorah. Assum- II. When in Doubt... sue. The Kaf HaChayim, as well as Rav ing that there are no other people around The Shaagas Aryeh (24) follows the III. Practical Application Ovadia Yosef zt”l (brought in Halachah to be motzi you with their brachah, Ramban, and thus rules that if a person The Mishnah B’rurah (47:1) initially fol- B’rurah (Vol. 3, p. 375), rule that a new should you say Birkas HaTorah before you is unsure whether he recited the Birkas lows the opinion of the Shaagas Aryeh, brachah should never be recited here. begin to learn? HaTorah or not, he should repeat the bra- requiring one who is unsure whether The Halachah B’rurah explains that since Short Answer: While the simple under- chos, based on the rule “safeik d’Oraisa he recited Birkas HaTorah to recite one it is a s’feik s’feika (i.e., unclear whether standing of the Mishnah B’rurah would l’chumra.” He nevertheless clariﬁ es (25) brachah before he begins learning. Yet, it is a Rabbinic or Biblical brachah, and appear to require the person to make a that if a person is unsure whether he the Mishnah B’rurah subsequently brings even if it is Biblical, it is unclear whether new Birkas HaTorah before beginning to recited all three brachos, he should only the dissenting opinion that follows the you already said the b’rachah), it is better learn, some Acharonim rule that such a repeat one of the brachos, preferably the Rambam, and “safeik d’Rabbanan l’kula.” to learn without making a new brachah. new brachah is unnecessary. brachah of Asher Bachar Banu, because Thus, the Mishnah B’rurah suggests that, Similarly, Rav Shlomo Zalman Auer- the Biblical obligation is only to recite if possible, the person should listen to bach zt”l (Halichos Shlomo) rules that Explanation: one brachah on the Torah. the brachos from someone else, or be one who is in doubt whether a Birkas The Pri Chadash (brought in Be’er yotzei with the recitation of Ahavah Ra- HaTorah is necessary can still learn To- I. The Brachos Heiteiv Orach Chayim 47:1) rules that all bah in Shacharis. rah before hearing the brachah from We say three brachos on the Torah three brachos should be recited again if a However, in our situation, where someone else. Rav Shlomo Zalman does every morning: 1) Laasok B’Divrei Sorah, person is unsure whether he already re- there is nobody around to be motzi not rule that the person should just 2) Asher Bachar Banu, and 3) V’Haarev cited Birkas HaTorah. Since one brachah you, it would appear from the Mishnah make the brachah by himself. Na. The Gemara in B’rachos (21a) records is possibly being repeated based on the B’rurah that you should recite Asher that the source for making a brachah on rule “safeik d’Oraisa l’chumra,” all three Bachar Banu before you learn. Indeed, Next week’s topic: You wake up in the the Torah is from the pasuk “Ki Sheim brachos (considered one unit) are recited. this understanding is explicit in the sefer morning and want to listen to a shiur Hashem...” On the other hand, the Machazik Ishei Yisrael (6:10), who rules that Asher online or attend a Daf Yomi shiur before The Ramban (on mitzvah 15) lists the Brachah and the Matei Yehudah (brought Bachar Banu should be recited before he davening. Do you need to make a Birkas mitzvah to make a brachah on the Torah in Shaarei T’shuvah Orach Chayim 47) begins learning in this situation. HaTorah before you listen to the shiur? as one of the 613 Biblical mitzvos. The follow the Rambam and rule that if a Rambam, however, omits this obligation person is unsure whether he recited the Rabbi Ephraim Glatt, Esq. is Assistant to the Rabbi at the Young Israel of Kew Gardens Hills and a from the list of 613 Biblical mitzvos, im- Birkas HaTorah or not, he should NOT practicing litigation attorney. Questions? Comments? Email [email protected].

38 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 DDatingating Today The Midah Of Rachamim

Goldy Krantz CONTINUED FROM P. 10 anything from Hashem, but very little has changed since my birth. Before I was created, was created, what did I do to merit being I wasn’t worthy of anything. Yet Hashem cre- created? ated me because He is giving. So, too, now, By defi nition, the answer is nothing. I am surely not deserving, but I can trust in Awkward Situation I didn’t exist; therefore, I couldn’t merit the kindliness of Hashem to have mercy and Part Two anything. Once I come to grips with that provide for me. Much like a rebellious child concept, I now have a starting point to un- who knows that his father will always love derstand my relationship with Hashem. him and that he can always turn to him, so, CONTINUED FROM P. 1 it’s cruel for all to keep this charade go- I am the recipient of good, not because too, we are called children of Hashem. We ing. I am entitled, not because it is coming to can always rely on that mercy. off, the woman’s mother suddenly passed All the best, me, but because Hashem gives freely, with- For that reason, provided that we follow away. In the weeks that followed, the Chava S. out holding back and without expecting the Torah’s system and sincerely attempt to woman and her family came to rely on ***** anything in return. serve Hashem and improve ourselves, we the son, and no matter what the son said Dear Goldy: As I stand here today, I may have sullied can always rely on Hashem, even if it is or did to try to remove himself from the I love your column. But is the let- myself, and I am therefore not deserving of true that we aren’t deserving. situation, nothing worked. The mother ter about the guy dating the girl whose wrote to me asking for advice. Before mother died real? The story sounds so I publish what I suggested, I wanted to weird and unbelievable. hear what readers would suggest in a situ- Yoeli ation like this. With permission granted by all, I will print a couple of responses. Yes, Yoeli, the letter was real, and from But let me fi rst add that the response the feedback I have received, unfortu- from this article was overwhelming. I nately this situation isn’t as unique as received the most feedback from readers I fi rst thought. I received letters from for this article than any other article in several people saying that they were in- the “Dating Today” archives. volved in a similar situation when they were dating. Many told me of what hap- Dear Goldy: pened to them, and a few told me how In response to the article, “Awkward they would have wanted the situation Situation – Part One,” I wanted to lend handled instead of how it actually was my advice. Yes, what happened is awful, dealt with. but the woman’s son needs to look out for himself. Sometimes, it takes years to Here is my answer to Miriam: fi nd your spouse, so he doesn’t have the I don’t envy your son for the situa- time to slowly wait this out and “do the tion that he is in. Maneuvering in the right thing.” It may be the hardest con- shidduch world is hard enough without versation of this boy’s life, but he should obstacles, and this seems to be an unfore- sit down with the girl and tell him that seen “obstacle” (for lack of a better world) he just doesn’t see a future with her and that no one can plan for or refer to others it has nothing to do with the passing of in similar situations. her mother. I don’t think he should say While you didn’t write much about the that he was going to break up with her young woman your son is dating, I will al- before her mother died, because she may low myself to believe that she is a strong feel like a fool for keeping him around all and resilient person who won’t crumble this time. But he should rip off the Band- when faced with hard times. Just the fact Aid and do it quickly. This is one of those that she is able to get up, day after day, moments in life when you just have to do and continue living after the death of her this and move on. mother speaks volumes (I should know, I wish him luck. as I, too, experienced the loss of my Sol/Shlomo mother). I don’t think that this woman ***** needs to be coddled or “protected” from Dear Goldy: the real world. Unfortunately, life isn’t I am writing to suggest a solution to full of sunshine and roses, and we have to Miriam, who asked for advice because weather storms sent our way. It’s the way her son is dating a girl whose mother was that we survive those storms that shapes niftar just when he was going to break who we are. things off with her. I think it is admirable of your son that This is a terrible situation. My heart he didn’t end the relationship during the goes out to the girl, her family, and to shiv’ah period, and he availed himself to Miriam’s son. I actually liked the idea that the young woman and her family. I think Kosher Night was suggested that the shadchan get in- the right decision was made – not to have volved again. I can understand the son’s the shadchan step in to do the dirty work wednesday, august 1st - 7PM reasoning in why he feels it would be cru- – because time has passed, the shadchan el to have someone who has been out of was out of the equation, and the woman the picture to suddenly step back into it grew closer to your son through this ex- and to break things off! If the son doesn’t perience. From what you have written, I at want to have the face-to-face discussion think it’s safe to say that enough weeks with the girl, this may be the only solu- have gone by that the shloshim period tion. Writing her a letter or sending her for the mother has passed as well. Now a text is certainly out of the question. would be a good time for your son to sit Come join the Cyclones for a night of baseball while Personally, I think that the boy should sit down with this woman and to explain enjoying a variety of Kosher Food options! down with the girl and tell her what is go- that he doesn’t see a future for them as ing on in his mind, and that while it may a couple. not be the best time for this, nonetheless There is no good time for a break up, Featuring: he feels that things won’t work out or but delaying this conversation will make that there is no future for them (he can things harder for all involved. Your son Pizza Baked Ziti Hot Dogs choose whatever phrase he feels is best), did his best and should be commended but if she needs to talk, she can always for it. But it is time for all to move on. Sushi Hot Poppers Deli Sanwiches call him. I think that would be letting her Both of these young individuals need to down easy. Her feelings will be hurt. She start the search again for their basherts. +more is in a vulnerable state now, as it is, but Hatzlachah to you all! www.brooklyncyclones.com/tickets Goldy Krantz is an LMSW and a lifelong Queens resident, guest lecturer, and author of 718-507-TIXX the shidduch dating book, The Best of My Worst and children’s book Where Has Zaidy Gone? She can be contacted at [email protected].

Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] 39 BBeautyeauty Briefs Risselle Naimark Facing The Facts

our eyes may be the windows to moles, have your skin checked your soul, but your face can certain- by a dermatologist early on Yly reveal clues about your health. to prevent any problem from The following medical issues can be discov- spreading. ered from looking at your face. These tips Sores around your mouth: will help clarify when to seek medical help. Cold sores usually occur on your lips or mouth. They are usually caused by the herpes type 1 virus, which can be dormant in your system from childhood. Sores may break out when you have a virus, are stressed out, exhausted, or Butterfl y rash on the cheeks: This numbness in your arms or legs, slurred have been in the sun too long. rash looks different than most be- speech, double vision, dizziness, and trou- Cold sores usually go away on cause it covers both cheeks and is in ble swallowing, seek medical attention im- their own. If you have frequent the shape of a butterfl y. It indicates mediately, as this is a clear sign of a stroke. episodes or they linger, your a sign of an autoimmune disorder, When blood fl ow is cut off to a part of the Jaundice: When your skin and the doctor may suggest medica- called lupus, where your immune brain because a blood vessel bursts or gets whites of your eyes appear yellow, it means tion. system attacks its own tissues and blocked, time is of the essence. you have too much waste product while Cracked lips: Everyone has organs. It’s often accompanied by Yellow spots on your eyelids: Raised yel- your body breaks down red blood cells. chapped lips at one time or achy and stiff joints, fever, and low bumps around your upper and lower This condition is common in preemies and another. Summer’s indoor dry fi ngers that turn blue from the eyelids are cholesterol deposits, which are newborns because their liver is not mature air from air conditioning can cold. If you notice this type of not dangerous or painful and can be re- enough to work properly. However, in an do the same damage as winter’s rash, consult a competent rheu- moved by a dermatologist. However, they adult it can be a sign of something more se- cold air and heating system. Us- matologist. can be an indication that you are at risk for rious, such as a viral infection, i.e., hepatitis ing a vitamin E lipstick will help Unusual facial hair growth: In heart disease, so it’s a good idea to have a or mono. It may also be an indication of heal the cracks, but be sure to young women, facial hair can be a physical exam by a doctor. a liver, gallbladder, or pancreas problem or wear a lip balm with SPF during daytime sign of polycystic ovarian syndrome, a con- Puffy under-eye pouches: When the can even be a result of alcohol abuse. Have sun exposure. Cracked lips can easily be a dition that can affect one’s fertility. space below your bottom eyelids is fi lled a blood test done to determine the root of sign of dehydration, especially during sum- Drooping eyelids: Blepharoptosis is with fl uid, your under-eye area appears the problem. mer’s heat. Your body is simply telling you when one or both of your eyes suddenly puffy. The heat and humidity can also Moles: Dark-colored spots and bumps it needs more water intake. Another cause becomes droopy and blocks your vision. make your body retain fl uids. Lack of are usually not worrisome. However, if may be an allergic reaction to a drug such This can be a sign of a problem in your sleep and too much salt may induce the you notice any of the ABC of skin cancer as steroids. brain, nerves, or eye socket. If it happens puffi ness as well, which occurs more fre- suddenly or you have double vision, see a quently as you age because the muscles doctor immediately. that support the eyelids weaken. If your Bell’s palsy: If you cannot move one side eyes are also red and itchy it can be caused of your face and your mouth appears lower from an allergic reaction to food, pollen, a and droops down one side , you probably certain cosmetic, or an eye infection such have Bell’s palsy. This happens when a virus as conjunctivitis. presses on a nerve that controls the muscles Gray or brown patches on the face: This in your face and makes it appear swollen. It condition is called melasma and is often shows up over hours and usually weakens triggered by pregnancy or hormonal pills. one side of your face. You may also experi- If that’s the case it will usually fade after ence pain in the jaw or behind the ear. It’s childbirth. Chemical peels can also help it not serious but usually lasts from three to subside. six months and looks a bit awkward. When The skin is the largest organ in your body applying lipstick , you may need to make ad- and serves as your fi rst line of defense. Its justments to the usual shape of your mouth condition and appearance can easily alert to make it look less obvious. you to a potential problem. It is therefore Stroke: If you notice that the lower important to pay attention, and when in part of your face is paralyzed or you have doubt be sure to check it out.

Risselle Naimark is a Professional Freelance Makeup Artist and Skincare Consultant. She carries an extensive line of personalized skincare, cosmetics, and anti-aging products. Risselle is also available for weddings, Bar Mitzvahs, makeup lessons, and all of your beauty needs. She can be reached at 718 263-5517.

40 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 Style Myths DDebunkedebunked Meira E. Schneider-Atik

Myth: When putting up photos online, you may post whatever you want. Truth: You have to be discriminating.

any of us enjoy using social media. duchim. And your profi le picture needs to Maybe you use it to connect or re- be chosen with extra care. If you’re using a natural. It’s okay to pull the top back for Probably the most important part of Mconnect with friends. Maybe you photo of yourself, then it has to be a good a good view of your face, but let your hair your profi le picture is your smile. I’ve never use it to network for your career. Maybe one, but not one in which you appear over- show otherwise. Fancy, elaborate hairstyles seen anyone who didn’t look better with a you use it to crowdsource for your busi- done. are a no-no here. Men, make sure your hair smile. It lifts your face and adds interest. ness. Maybe you use it to network for shid- And what about for shidduch dating works well too. If it’s long, pull it back. That said, every person is unique and every duchim. Or maybe you use it for any com- websites? Facial hair should be trimmed, and clean- person’s perfect smile is unique too. Some bination of these things. And maybe you Most people make two mistakes with shaven faces need to be stubble-free. people look best in smaller smiles while think that posting pictures is a good way to these. Either they use photos of themselves Notice I haven’t mentioned anything others look best in bigger grins. Some peo- help those connections along. You’re right looking like they made no effort at all, or about bottoms or shoes. That’s because ple look best smiling with teeth while oth- on that one. But does it really matter what they use photos of themselves that are way your profi le picture need only show you ers look best smiling without teeth. Prac- pictures you post? Yes! overdone. Neither one is good. The former from the waist upward. tice in front of the mirror. Think of things is unfl attering and makes you look as if you No matter why you’re networking, your that make you happy and fi nd the smile don’t care enough about yourself to make face needs to be the star of the show. Make that makes you look truly happy without a little effort. The latter is bad because sure you’re taking care of your skin prop- overdoing it. I myself look best in a medi- while you may look wonderful, it’s not erly. Women, for your profi le pictures wear um smile with teeth. A bigger grin makes how you’re going to look when you meet a a basic face of makeup: Even out your skin, me look exaggerated and no teeth makes potential shidduch face-to-face for the fi rst conceal as needed, defi ne your eyes, and me look like I’m stifl ing a giggle. time. Chances are that those fi rst few dates add subtle color to cheeks and lips. This No matter why you use social media, you (at least) will be dressy casual, not fancy. is the face you’ll be wearing on job inter- always want to put your best face forward. Whether you’re networking for your career views, at work, and on most dates, so this is That way you’re more likely to make the or for shidduchim, your profi le picture for a good face to present online. right impression everywhere. Hatzlachah! those specifi c sites needs to be a good one. For career networking, you need to be Meira E. Schneider-Atik is a wardrobe organizer, personal shopper, jewelry designer, wearing clothes you would wear on the and fashion writer/blogger and speaker. She helps women look great while saving time, job you want. If that job is a formal one, effort, and money, all within tznius guidelines, and she’ll add to that with custom-de- then men should be wearing a jacket with signed jewelry. Read more about her ideas on her blog- www.truetzniutistruebeauty.word- a button-down shirt in a good color plus a press.com. She also has a YouTube channel, “Look Your Best in Mitpachot,” where she does tie, while women should be wearing a neu- head-wrapping tutorials, and she is also available for private demonstrations. She can be From me, you get the truth. tral jacket with an underpinning in a pretty reached at (718) 644-6135 or at [email protected]. I’ve heard from several different people color. If that job is more creative, then men about the photos they see on social media should be wearing a button-down shirt in a and on online dating sites. These people good color while women should be wear- often complain about how the men and ing a simple top or an underpinning and women post pictures that are all wrong. Ei- overtop in pretty colors with a print incor- ther the subjects do not look their best or porated somewhere. A scarf or necklace the photos do not send a message of health would each be great here as long as you’re and enthusiasm. not wearing both at the same time. Then there was someone who said that If you’re wearing hair, make sure it’s sometimes you’re just not going to get fl at- clean, neat, and fl attering, but otherwise tering photos. This person gave the exam- natural and not overdone. If it’s long ple of someone posting photos from a ski enough, pull it away from your face. This trip with the idea that most people don’t applies to men as well. And if you have fa- look their best in ski clothes, but you’ll cial hair, makes sure it’s neat and trimmed. want to post them anyway. I disagree. You If you don’t wear facial hair, make sure your may have a photo of yourself right after a face is stubble-free. Women, if you’re wear- good run in which your eyes are sparkling ing a non-sheitel covering, keep it simple and your cheeks have a healthy fl ush. and coordinated with your outfi t. A brim is That’s a good photo. You may also have a fi ne if it fl atters you, but it mustn’t be too full-length photo of yourself all bundled up wide or it will obscure your face. in ski clothes and looking big. That’s not a For shidduchim, you need to be wearing good photo. clothes you would wear on a dressy casual In general, when you post pictures on date. For the men, a simple button-down or social media, you have to remember that polo shirt will work. For women, a simple good photos are fi ne to post, but you do top or layered top will work. One top can not need to post every photo. What other be neutral, but there has to be some color people post of you is not in your control, somewhere, either in your overtop, under- but what you post defi nitely is. This is es- pinning, or accessories. pecially true if you are using social media Women, make sure your hair is clean, to network for your career and/or for shid- neat, and fl attering and wear it loose and

Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] 41 NNutritionutrition Notes Alice Harrosh

between a slip-up and a full-blown binge Dear Alice, is drastic. This is why I always encourage my clients to make an effort to stop right At the beginning of any new food away versus prolonging the cheat. plan I am always super excited. I see So the goal when getting off track is that I am losing weight, feeling health- to get back on track immediately! The ier, and more energetic, and this keeps least effective way to renew your com- me motivated to stay on track. But no mitment to eating well is to tell yourself one is perfect forever. Sooner or later it “I’ll start again tomorrow.” “Tomorrow” is inevitable for me to eat something I can be 5,000 calories or almost two hadn’t planned. The question is, then pounds later! what? What do I do after that to get On our plan I recommend eating fi ve 615 WINTHROP ROAD, TEANECK back on track? times a day (or even more) – breakfast, Price Reduction: $2,950,000 snack, lunch, snack, dinner. This struc- People often have a black-and-white ture is useful for keeping your metabo- ɵ)DEXORXVEHGURRPEDWKURRP ɵ)LQLVKHGEDVHPHQWLQFOXGHVD attitude toward dieting. Either they are lism working effi ciently but can also EULFNFHQWHUKDOOFRORQLDOZLWK JXHVWEHGURRPEDWKV eating perfectly on track or they are be used as a guide to help get back on completely off. As soon as they take an track. For example, if you chose poorly *UDQGPDUEOHHQWUDQFH NLWFKHQJDPHURRPPRUH extra bite of cake, challah, potato kugel, by lunch, make sure that by the time ɵ(OHJDQWIRUPDOGLQLQJURRPDQG ɵ2WKHUIHDWXUHVLQFOXGH &HQWUDOYDF or whatever the unplanned food was, it your afternoon snack comes around you RYHUVL]HGOLYLQJURRPZLWKILUHSODFH throws them off track and they end up are eating well again. Don’t make the ILUHSODFHV *HQHURXVFORVHWV eating poorly for the rest of the day, or mistake of skipping your second snack $OOZLWKRULJLQDOEXLOWLQVFURZQ WKURXJKRXW $WWDFKHGFDUJDUDJH sometimes even several days until they in order to undo the damage you did by PROGLQJDQGKDUGZRRGIORRUV fi nally get back on track. lunch, which just prolongs the cycle of DQGPRUH I like to compare this to the following overeating and undereating. Just go back *RXUPHWNLWFKHQZLWKODUJHJUDQLWH ɵ/RWVL]H[ scenario: Let’s say you accidentally turn to your normal food plan. LVODQGGRXEOHDSSOLDQFHVDQGVLQNV on a light on Shabbos; does this mean I also recommend that if (and when) DFUHVTIW you should be mechalel Shabbos for the you do eat something you hadn’t *UHDWIORZIRUHQWHUWDLQLQJ ɵ+RXVHVTIW rest of the day, or do you move on? Or planned, write it down on a food log. ɵ*XHVWEHGURRPRIILFHRQPDLQ take an even more similar scenario. Let’s It is always a good idea to keep a food ɵ3OXVDGGLWLRQDOIXOOILQLVKHG say you forgot you were fl eishig and log of what you are eating throughout IORRU EDVHPHQWVTIW took a sip of a delicious milkshake. Do the day, but it is particularly important ɵ6SDFLRXVSULYDWH0DVWHUVXLWHZLWK you just decide, “Oh well, I might as well when you go off track. Seeing everything JHQHURXVKLVKHUZDONLQFORVHWV ɵ7RWDO6TIW fi nish this milkshake,” or do you quickly written down on paper is a powerful ɵ3ULFH5HGXFWLRQ spit it out? What if you took a bite of tool that can help keep things in check VSDOLNHEDWKILUHSODFHKRPH pizza and then remembered it was a fast for the next time. RIILFHQXUVHU\RIIWKHPDVWHUVXLWH ɵ12%52.(563/($6( day? Of course, you stop eating as soon Though we like to believe that once as you realize what you are doing. we decide to eat perfectly we will do so For Sale By Owner 201-836-3403 or email [email protected] We need to have this same mindset forever, realistically we are bound to be when trying to stick to a food plan. Of challenged again. Any slip-up in a healthy course, the extra food is disappointing and eating plan is actually worthwhile if it frustrating because it is a setback from our teaches us a bit more about ourselves, goals. However, the trick is to get hold of our eating habits, our strengths, and our &2856(6IRU yourself as quickly as possible in order weak points. This way when a similar to minimize the caloric damage. It is so situation arises we are more prepared +DLU6KHLWDOV important to realize that the difference and can handle it better. 0DNHXS 1RZ2SHQLQJIRU$VSLULQJ$UWLVWV 5(*,675$7,21,623(1)25 7+($8*867&2856(6

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&RXUVHVZLOOEHOLPLWHGRQD¿UVW FRPHEDVLV $GYDQFHG8SGR&ODVVHV$YDLODEOHIRU $OL]D,WHQEHUJ /LFHQVHG+DLUGUHVVHUV 6KHLWDO0DFKDV /LFHQVHG&RVPHWRORJLVWE\WKHVWDWHRI 1HZTanya, with 10 locations plus a brand-new one in Queens. Alice knows that making healthy choices is not always easy, as she has been through the struggle herself. As an optimistic person, Alice’s favorite quote is: “It’s )RULQIRRUWRVLJQXS /,7(1%(5*#<$+22&20 never too late to start eating better. If you have a bad morning, make it a better afternoon.” For FRQWDFWPHGLUHFWO\ more information on Nutrition by Tanya or the TAP (Tanya-approved products) food line, please 6$/21$/,=$ &DOOWH[WRU visit www.nutritionbytanya.com or call 844-Tanya-Diet (844-826-9234). For daily tips and inspira- (PDLO/LWHQEHUJ#\DKRRFRP +$,5$1'0$.(83%<$/,=$B,7(1%(5* tion, you may follow @nutritionbytanya on Instagram.

42 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 MMusicalusical NNotesotes (Fiction Serial) By Susie Garber Chapter 16: Cheifetz Chashud

Recap: Devori tells her father about ticed tourist groups. There was a group the phone call that threatened him. In the from France. A man in front of the group meantime, an alarm goes off at her school was carrying a French fl ag. this, but you need to know for your safe- rorizing you. They are Amaleik in our time.” and everyone has to evacuate. I noticed some Arab women going ty. There’s a dangerous terror group. They “What should I do?” through the line. They were dressed in wear blue threaded bracelets. They are “Just daven a lot and don’t go near any he alarm blared on and on. The teach- western clothes with the Arab headdress driven by hatred and anti-Semitism. “I Arab villages. Travel in groups and, for now, ers directed us all to move away from only. stumbled upon…” He lowered his voice to a stay near Yerushalayim. I will try to be in Tthe building. There was a murmured I headed over to the Kosel to pray fi rst. soft whisper. “I found them when I was au- contact, but if you don’t hear from me, rumor that soon became a spoken fact. It’s There was an hour before I was supposed diting a big company in America. They had don’t worry. With Hashem’s help, Israeli a cheifetz chashud. Police cars with sirens to meet my father. I davened hard for the thousands of dollars pouring in from all Intelligence and American Intelligence blaring pulled up. Everyone was directed to one thing I wanted most and thanked over the world and they were not reporting will capture the leaders and end this terror move farther away. I felt my heart pump- Hashem for the diffi culty. Then I thanked the money. I discovered the company I was group and you and I will celebrate.” ing. Was it a bomb? Him for this meeting with my father and auditing was a cover for this international “With Ima?” I asked. Vera ran over to me. “Did you see the asked Hashem to please protect me and my terrorist organization. I called the FBI and His voice grew hoarse. He nodded. “So knapsack?” father and am Yisrael and Eretz Yisrael. the police, but the whole organization just just call me if you need help. I’ll get the “What knapsack?” The sun was directly overhead when I vanished. They took off and the only thing help we need fast.” “There was a knapsack left in front of strolled towards the shady corner where that remained was that they threatened me “Before you told me to call someone the building. That’s what I heard. It didn’t I had last seen my father. I stood there and my family. That’s why I’ve been trave- named Nat?” belong to anyone.” waiting, wondering if he would come, and ling all over. I have to stay away from them. My father hesitated. “Well, you can’t call Vera studied my face. “Hey, don’t worry. wondering what he would tell me. Was he I sent you away to protect you from them.” him now.” This happens all the time. They know what a spy? I was watching some Israeli soldiers He hesitated. “Unfortunately, they may “Why?” to do.” talking to each other when I felt a tap on have discovered you are here.” My father sighed. “He was killed.” I said, “I thought it happens at the bus my shoulder. “What do you mean?” My heart was I swallowed. station; but does it happen at the school all “Aba!” We hugged. pumping hard against my chest. He hugged me tight and then he strode the time?” He was wearing dark glasses and a black “I can’t say more. They are after me be- off into the shadows. Vera said, “Well, no, it never happened cap. “Devori, sweetheart. I love you. I’m so cause I had the proof from my work looking I watched him go. Would I see him here before.” happy to see you,” he was whispering. into their bank accounts, so they want me again? Hashem, please protect my father. “What will the police do?” I asked. “How is school?” out of the picture and they’re stooping to ter- To be continued… “They’ll blow up the knapsack.” “It’s fi ne.” It took a long time, but fi nally, the police “Let’s move over here.” He motioned me Susie Garber is the author of Denver Dreams (a novel, Jerusalem Publications, 2009), Memora- said we could go back to class. to a farther corner. ble Characters…Magnifi cent Stories (Scholastic, 2002), Befriend (Menucha Publishers, 2013), The … “I don’t have a lot of time. I have to ex- Road Less Traveled (Feldheim, 2015), fi ction serials and features in various magazines including The next day, I headed alone to the plain. You must be wondering...” A Bridge in Time – historical fi ction serial (Binyan Magazine, 2017). She writes for the community Kosel. It was the fi rst time I was traveling “Yes. Why didn’t you visit? column for the Queens Jewish Link and she writes the Queens page for Hamodia. She works as alone there. I went through security. I no- “Look, I wish I didn’t have to tell you a writing consultant in many yeshivos and she teaches creative writing to students of all ages. First Step in Selling Your Home... Call A Real Estate Professional

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Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] 43 A couple in Florida are getting married and instead of wedding presents, they've asked for money to buy goats. Even crazier, one couple they SSide-Splittingide-Splitting SStand-Uptand-Up invited was like, "Finally, a chance to regift this goat." - Jimmy Fallon During an interview with Vladimir Putin yesterday, Fox News host Chris Wallace tried to give Putin a copy of the indictments of 12 Russian nationals for meddling in the election. And then Mitch Putin tried to get Wallace to "Smell this cloth." e Majority Leader SSenateenat Majority Leader Mitcha to - Seth Meyers day warned Russi MMcConnellcConnell ttodayo warned Russia to upcoming midterm nnotot meddlemeddle iinn tthehe upcoming midterm winked so hard ions, and then he eelections,lect and then he winkedh. so hard is neck got smoot AAtt midnightmi last night, Trump sent this tweet. This is real. He wrote: hhis neck got smooth. dnight last night eth Meyers ""ToTo IIranianranian President Rouhani: NEVER,, Trum EVERp sen tTHREATEN thi THE UNITED STATES AGAIN OR YOU - SethS Meyers President Rouha s tweet. This is WWILLILL SUFFERSU CONSEQUENCESn iTHE: NE VLIKESER, E VOFER WHICH FEW THROUGHOUTreal. HHISTORYe wrote :HAVE EVER FFER CONSEQU THREATEN THE SSUFFEREDUF BEFORE. WE AREENC ENOS TLONGERHE LIKE A COUNTRY THAT WILLU NSTANDITED S FORTATE YOURS DEMENTED FERED BEFORE. S OF WHICH FEW AGAIN OR YOU WE ARE NO LON THROUGHOUT WWORDSORDS OFOF VIOLENCE & DEATH. BEG ECAUTIOUS!”R A COUNTR Even your uncle on FacebookHISTORY was HAV like,E E VIOLENCE & DEA Y THAT WILL STA VER TH. BE CAUTIOU ND FOR YOUR DE S!” Even your un MENTED ""That'sThat's a lot of all caps." cle on Facebook lot of all caps." was like, –Jimmy–Jimmy FallonFallon

Lessons On Judaism While Interning With The Brooklyn Cyclones

By Mordechai Twersky Me: It is not similar, in tain animals, like they can’t eat lamb. any way. Me: We can eat lamb. assumed, with my velvet yarmulke and (pause) AE: Really? pei’os, that I would be asked questions AE: So you don’t pray to MCS: You can eat hot dogs though, right? Irelated to Judaism during my intern- the Mezuzah? Me: Yeah, if they are kosher. ship with the Brooklyn Cyclones. I didn’t Me: Correct. MCS: They are kosher if they are made think my co-workers would be too interest- out of pig? ed though, as the front offi ce of a team like 3. Marketing Manager: Me: Pig isn’t kosher, they are usually the Cyclones hires interns from all over the What is the Sabbath? made out of cow. country, from cities with very small Jew- Me: (thinking of the MCS: Even if a rabbi blesses it? ish communities. Why would students at shortest and easiest way Me: Even if a rabbi blesses it. universities like Cornell, Florida, OSU, and to put it) Pretty much it’s a AE: You can’t eat much, right? UMass fi nd Judaism fascinating? Funny day when G-d rested from Me: Yup. enough, it seems for those same reasons doing work, so we don’t the employees here at the Cyclones have do things like (thinking 5. Intern: What is gefi lte fi sh? asked me so many questions about the Ju- very hard) um (brain failing Me: Um, I think it’s different types of daism. Me: (deciding whether to say that they me), pretty much we don’t use electricity or fi sh. At fi rst, many of the offi ce members don’t afford it, then deciding not to) Well, cook or write or most stuff you would use Intern: What do you use it for? were afraid to ask questions related to my some of them get help from their parents, for work. Me: What do you mean? faith. They were worried about offending or their father-in-law helps support them. MM: Whoa, so you sit in the dark all Intern: I mean, what’s the purpose of it? me They soon found out that not only am AE: So rabbis get supported to sit and day? Me: We eat it. I very, very hard to offend, but I person- study text all day? Me: No. Intern: Why? ally enjoy being asked about the “Jewish” Me: Well (thinking what to say), kind of, MM: And how can you use your cell Me: I think many Jews have that same things that I do. I personally feel that the yes. phone? question. more they see that I’m easygoing, the more AE: Whoa, that’s amazing! Can I be Jew- Me: I can’t. comfortable they will feel around an Or- ish, too? MM: So how would you work from 6. Intern: Are Jews allowed to drink? thodox Jew. Anyway, here are some of the home? Me: What, like anything? best conversations I have had so far while 2. Manager of Creative Services: What’s a Me: We don’t. Intern: I mean alcohol working with the Brooklyn Cyclones: (looks hard at her phone) mezuz? MM: And how do you watch sports? Me: Yeah, of course, we even have a holi- Me: A mezuzah? Me: We don’t. day where many believe we are supposed Account Executive: A rabbi makes a lot of MCS: I think so, is it an art piece? (pause) to be get drunk. money, right? Me: Wait, why? Mm: So do you do anything on the Sab- Intern: Really? Me: Actually a lot of them make very lit- MCS: Because my friend is designing bath? Me: Yeah, it’s called Purim. tle money. Jewish schools that have rabbis them into different shapes in different Me: I guess nothing much. Intern: That’s the only good thing you as teachers can’t pay them that much be- colors. MM: Well, at least you can still be here have told me about Judaism so far. cause it would be expensive. Me: Well, we put some of the Torah, I Friday night! AE: Really? mean, Old Testament, in a case by the door (pause) 7. AE: (in disgust) what is that stuff? Me: Yeah, and a lot of rabbis are in kollel post of every room entrance. They have de- MM: What? Me: It’s herring. so they don’t get paid a lot. signs on the case, but it isn’t there for art Me: Okay, let’s try this again.... AE: It’s what? AE: (blank stare) purposes. Me: It’s salty fi sh in oil and onions. Me: I mean they study, um, Jewish Account Executive (a different one from 4. Manager of Creative Services: What AE: It smells awful texts for most of the day and they are paid before): So is it like the cross so Christians is Kosher? Is it when the rabbi blesses the Me: Well, I think it tastes good. Does around minimum wage. have in a room to pray? food? anyone want to try it? AE: So how do they afford to have kids Me: No, not really. Me: No, not exactly. (entire lunch room is silent) and a house? AE: Because it sounds similar. Account Executive: No, they can’t eat cer- Me: That’s what I thought.

44 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 See solution in this issue By: Yoni Glatt, [email protected] Down “Musical Translation” Difficulty Level: EASY 1. Synagogue stand 34. Be imminent 2. Notable Tel-Aviv theater 36. Be a busy beaver? 3. They’re born after Leos 37. ___ of ____ (fast day) 4. “Yo te ___” (“Ani ohev otach”) 38. Expensive wool 5. Common Jewish name 39. Appraiser 6. “... ___ of fat things... “ (Isa. 25:6) 40. Ancient Jewish monastic 7. “Curb Your Enthusiasm” lead, for 41. A Clegane on “Game of Thrones” short 45. “Crime ___ pay” 8. Put on the job 46. Moves in a crabby manner 9. Two-time US open winner Patrick 48. Herod’s friend Marc 10. Poetic tribute 49. Mitch (Albom) visited him weekly 11. Jerusalem neighborhood 12. Woes in Egypt 50. Makes like a girl acting as Queen 16. Grippers Esther 18. Higher power belief 53. Eretz ___ chalav... 23. Quidditch mounts 60. Letter equal to 50 27. Pests 62. Jewish number for 18-Down 30. Bird sound 63. Made like a quintessential bubby

Across 1. Dotted Hebrew vowel 28. Billy Joel’s “___ to Extremes” 51. Degree without a vowel 5. Part of the West Coast, for short 29. French sage 52. What may fit all 9. Like two day old manna 31. Aristotle, to Alexander 54. Easter’s beginning? 13. Actor Corey (1971-2010) 32. Actor Chow ___-Fat 55. “Dose guys,” in Brooklyn 14. “... wings ___ angel” 33. Umenyiora of football 56. Sheeran and Asner 15. Bring Uris’s work to the screen 35. ___ volente (“G-d willing”) 57. One of the 17-Across 17. Plotters against Joseph 36. Leaves 58. Shalosh, in Italy 19. Dude 37. Perhaps the most famous rules 59. Matzah is made in them 20. Short lived 2015 USA TV show 41. WAR, e.g. 61. Common algebra direction...or set in Jerusalem 42. “Love You” lead-in, to The how to solve this puzzle’s theme 21. “... had taken from man, made Beatles 64. “Seinfeld” episode, now ___ woman.” (Genesis 2:22) 43. Govt. agency that has your 65. Draft-Worthy 22. Weekly Instagram hashtag number 66. Author Blyton 24. Dude 44. 4th of July cries 67. Home for Avraham 25. Melodramatic, in slang 45. Array in a newsroom 68. Observe Shabbat 26. Trap 47. Kermit’s home, once 69. Makes techeylet strings DIFFERENCES? 10 CAN YOU SPOT

Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] 45 Gedolei Roshei Yeshivos Address Bachurim Entering Yeshiva Gedolah HaGaon Harav Gershon Edelstein, Shlita, and HaGaon HaRav Moshe Hillel Hirsch, Shlita, Offer Invaluable Guidance

By Chaim Gold who know all of Shas and they are regular, The Importance of a Bachur Recognizing normal bachurim, not extreme in any way. His Abilities There was a palpable hush in the au- How do they do it? The utilize their time Rav Dovid Hofstedter imparted divrei dience as the venerated Rosh Yeshiva of in yeshiva properly. For example, morning chizuk and guidance to the bachurim. As Ponovezh, HaGaon HaRav Gershon Edel- seder is primarily designed for bachurim to the event was held before Tisha B’Av, Rav stein, shlita, slowly made his way into the prepare for the shiur. For many bachurim, Hofstedter cited a practical lesson to be Armanot Chein Hall in Bnei Brak, this past preparation does not take an entire seder. learned from Yirmiyahu Hanavi. “Hashem Thursday night, 8 Av/July 20. More than They are left with extra time. Every bachur tells Yirmiyahu, ‘Before you were born you 2,000 bachurim craned their necks to catch should undertake at least to complete the were destined to be a Navi. That is your es- a glimpse of the Rosh Yeshiva as he arrived. entire masechta that the yeshiva is learning. sence, your tachlis.’ What did Yirmiyahu They sat, completely still, listening with answer? ‘Oy Hashem! You know that I am bated breath to the words of guidance that Rav Moshe Hillel Hirsch: One’s Entire but a ‘naar,’ devoid of knowledge and wis- they would take with them as they made Life Is Built on the Foundation of dom…’ Hashem then answers him, ‘You are the transition to yeshiva gedolah. Yeshiva Gedolah.” not a naar and you will go where I send Rav Moshe Hillel Hirsch, you…. gave a comprehensive ad- “The question is obvious,” continued dress replete with practical Rav Dovid, “Hashem Himself tells Yirmi- hadracha. yahu you were born to be a Navi and “The fi rst thing a ba- Yirmiyahu appears to contradict Him by chur should know,” Rav responding I don’t know how to speak, I Hirsch said, “is that on Rosh am a naar?” Chodesh Elul, you will be The answer provides guidance and making what might be the insight to every Yid and especially to ba- most transformative change churim entering yeshiva gedolah, “There Aharon Leib Shteinman, zt”l, told a person- of your life. One’s entire life are bachurim who have unbelievable abil- al story that made a great impact on the is built on the foundation ity. They are blessed with great intellect tzibbur. “I want to share a personal experi- that you make in yeshiva and they can truly go far and accomplish ence that I had when I was exactly your gedolah.” so much. Nevertheless, at times those age. Thirty years ago, I went into the Rosh Another important point same bachurim say, “Who am I? I am just Yeshiva, Rav Shteinman and asked for The Dirshu ‘Seder Hachanah’ Event is a Rav Hirsch made is that yeshiva gedolah a naar!” They don’t recognize their own guidance before entering yeshiva gedolah. unique maamad specifi cally designed for is a fresh slate! Even someone who was kochos. This is a great nisayon. A bachur He told me, ‘Every bachur has the ability one demographic, the bachurim leaving not so successful in yeshiva ketanah is em- can go for years without recognizing how to grow tremendously in Torah. There, are yeshiva ketana, (high school aged yeshiva) powered to make a fresh start and should much ability he really has. Every bachur however, three things that extinguish his and entering yeshiva gedolah, (beis me- come in with great she’ifos. must possess the bitachon that Hashem ability to grow. They are kinnah, taavah drash level). The transition from yeshiva Rav Moshe Hillel cautioned, “Not all gave him abilities and he is obligated to and kavod!’ ketana – a system that is very regimented bachurim feel the sweetness and geshmak use those abilities that Hashem has given The ripple effect of the kinnus for ba- - to yeshiva gedolah which offers much of learning right away. For some it takes him!” churim is incalculable. One look at the more independent learning is truly signifi - time. No bachur should become bothered smiling faces of the bachurim exiting the cant and can literally mean the difference when it doesn’t happen immediately. If he The Three Deterrents to Success in gathering made it clear how glad they were between a life time of success in learning perseveres, eventually he will have a true Learning: Kinnah, Taavah and Kavod! to have heard practical guidance from the or challilah the opposite. geshmak and satisfaction in learning.” Rav Yehoshua Mishkovsky, a close Gedolei Hador on what may be the most Dirshu brought together leading Ged- talmid of the Rosh Yeshiva, HaGaon HaRav important period of growth in their lives. olei Yisroel to impart life-giving guidance Rav Uri Weisblum: Dormitory, The to the bachurim to prepare them for this Incubator for Tikun Hamiddos milestone transition. The highlight was Some of the bachurim came with small the presence and guidance of Rav Gershon pads and were taking notes, others were Edelstein. In addition to Rav Gershon, clearly ‘etching the guidance on their col- comprehensive addresses were given by lective hearts’ as Rav Uri Weisblum rose to HaGaon HaRav Moshe Hillel Hirsch, sh- give practical guidance that served as the lita, Rosh Yeshiva of the Slabodka Yeshi- ultimate primer of guidance for any ba- va, HaGaon HaRav Uri Weisblum, shlita, chur entering yeshiva gedolah. Mashgiach of Yeshiva Nachlas Halevi’im Rav Weisblum pointed out that the and a talmid muvhak of the famed Mash- marked difference between yeshiva ged- giach, HaGaon HaRav Shlomo Wolbe, zt”l, olah and yeshiva ketana can confront a and HaRav Yehoshua Mishkovsky, shlita, bachur with many nisyonos, many spir- Rosh Yeshivas Imrei Moshe. The event was itual hurdles that he must overcome. He chaired by HaRav Dovid Hillel, shlita, a explained that inasmuch as there is much Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshiva Birchas Ephraim. more independence, much less structure, Rav Dovid Hofstedter, Nasi of Dirshu, also longer sedarim and a greater stress on self- delivered an inspiring address. motivation in a yeshiva gedolah, bachurim, if they are not careful and are unprepared Rav Gershon Edelstein: The Synthesis of for such an environment, can fi nd them- Sevarah and Yeidas HaTorah selves regressing in their learning and avo- Rav Gershon, who has been delivering das Hashem. a daily shiur to bachurim in yeshiva ged- Another critically important compo- olah for more than sixty years, said, “The nent that Rav Weisblum addressed, was way to acquire Torah in yeshiva gedolah is the dormitory. In yeshiva ketana most ba- with sevarah, to truly fi nd the underlying churim sleep at home and even those who logic and premise behind the words of the do not, only sleep in dormitories that are Gemara and Rishonim. When a bachur un- highly supervised. derstands the depth of a sevarah he gains Suddenly, upon entering yeshiva ged- a taam in learning, a geshmak in learning. olah, a bachur must sleep in the dormi- It is that taam that empowers him to ulti- tory and share rooms with bachurim from mately acquire a kinyan, a true acquisition varied yeshivos and diverse backgrounds. of his learning.” Among others, going to sleep on time and Rav Gershon than forcefully added a ca- choosing the right friends are issues that veat. “It is impossible to really understand require self-control and forethought. sevarah, without yedias haTorah, without Rav Weisblum highlighted the fact that knowledge of the Torah. Every bachur must a dormitory can potentially serve as a tre- make it a high priority to acquire yedias ha- mendous opportunity for tikun hamiddos, Torah. It is not as hard as one might think.” for working on and improving one’s mid- Rav Gershon explained, “I know bachurim dos and sensitivity to others.

46 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 Classifieds & RRealeal EEstatestate

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Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] 47 An Evening to Benefit Bonei Olam Queens

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48 QueensJewishLink.com • 718-880-2622 • [email protected] Vol. VII No. 29 (#271) • July 28, 2018