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Letting Go of the Super Woman Mentality A Quarterly Newsletter September 2004 – Volume 7:1 nursing courses were demanding and I had no free time for Letting Go of the Super Woman myself. I felt like I was a slave to everything and everybody Mentality but myself. I wanted to be Ms. Perfect at work, Super Mom, Mrs. Charity at Church and a Good Student. I felt like a by Beatrice Barber, ETSU Undergraduate Student social director; everyone in the family was branching out in new directions Due to the pressures of society and their except for my husband. His life was upbringing, most women feel the need to be responsible for going the same. I had to make the M.D. the house, husband, children, and pets and contribute and dental appointments, provide or financially to the household budget. I too arrange for transportation for my felt the pressure to be Super Woman. The youngest son. All of this was in addition to the heavy problem that I faced was that I was not nursing classes that I decided to do without fully consulting groomed to be a housewife. I was on track my husband. I was feeling like I was failing miserably all the to be Ms. Career Lady although I have taken time. the scenic route. I was two months pregnant I decided to de-clutter my life. I told my husband on my graduation day. The father was a that I needed to make changes because I felt out of control senior in high school. We knew we were not ready for of my life and needed to de-clutter it. He knew I was marriage. We agreed to make no plans for the future. I did miserable but probably not to its extent. He told me to get not want to combine one mistake with another. rid of what was causing me the most stress. I told him that I Initially I went to work in a factory for a few did not want a divorce but had a better solution. He did not months after giving birth. During the summer shutdown, I believe me until I told him on that occasion that he was the was laid off. When the union threatened to help me get my cause of most of my stress. There were issues in the job back, I quickly signed up for a medical assistant’s course. workplace but I did not have to live with the people from the I was good at math and science so I figured I couldn’t go job. Home was supposed to be my safe haven but I felt that wrong with this course. Just prior to completion, I was I had no quiet place. I was neglecting house chores for recommended for the LPN course at the local college in homework. I felt pressured when working on church South Carolina. I learned that there was a shortage of nurses projects or anything other than homework. I have always in the state so I would have job security. I completed the been supportive of my son’s sports activities and did not one-year course, took the exam and passed, then obtained a want to miss out on his senior year. So I asked my husband good job as an LPN. I was a single mother making above to trust me and not give me any grief about the decisions I minimal wages. I rented a room while going to LPN school was about to make. and allowed my mother to care for my son during the week. First of all I did not want to be obligated to a 40- During that time I signed up for welfare and gave the check hour workweek. The best way to do this would be to work to my mother for caring for my son. They allowed me to PRN (as needed). This would mean giving up benefits such continue receiving the checks for six months after becoming as sick days and accumulated vacation time. I had over 400 employed full time. This allowed a smooth transition for us. hours of sick time built up that I would lose when, and if, I I returned home and continued to work until my quit my job as planned. I went ahead and had a son’s father completed college. He was able to get a job in hysterectomy for a fibroid tumor. I could have waited to see Cleveland, Tenn. We got married and moved there. if traditional medical treatment would help, but I was “done Without my husband’s full support, I returned to college and with birthing babies” therefore why take medicine for a became an RN. This was difficult because the course load problem that could be cured with the removal of the was heavy and I was trying to work full time and take care of offending object? I was off work for eight weeks due to the house and child. My husband had graduated from minor setbacks that justified extension of my leave. Clemson University so he did not think Cleveland State’s When I returned to work, I curriculum was difficult. At our pinning ceremony he was well-received. I was tempted to realized how difficult the course was for nursing. He gained stay, but knew that nothing had this knowledge from talking with other spouses and listening changed. I worked about another to the comments by the speakers. month or two to catch up on some Two and a half years ago I decided to return to of the work left undone while I was school to obtain my bachelor’s degree. My husband wasn’t off. After that I turned in my four-week notice to end sure that this was the right time. Well I jumped right into it employment the Friday before Mother’s Day. I spent the and it has been a roller coaster ride. I was working a holiday weekend with my mother and sister. My husband and demanding full-time job that was emotionally draining. The continued on page 2 children joined us at times. I did not seek employment until Webb has been training since 1974, in the martial late June. When I accepted the job on a cardiac unit I told art of Karate. Location for this seminar is the East my prospective employer that I would not be available until Tennessee Room, D.P. Culp University Center, at noon. the second week of July. I took a vacation with my sister and two close friends. No husbands or children allowed. I started a new employment the second week of July as Women and Money planned. Personal Finance Series The final step of de-clutter came in January. I took a sabbatical leave of absence from my church. In December, The Women and Money series is I spoke with my pastor and told him that I was going to take returning as part of the WRC’s Fall Program five classes during this spring semester to complete my lineup for 2004. If you are one of the millions of women bachelor’s degree. I informed him that I would who use money every day, but need some assistance with attend church as able but I would not be wide-range planning or overall financial well-being, then this participating in any of the church organizations series is for you. of which I was a member. He tried to talk me out of it and “Women and Money: A Guide to Financial appealed to my husband who backed me up as he had Well-being” will be facilitated by Ani Quinby, formerly promised to do. As I told others what I was doing they said with the Eastern Eight Community Development they had never heard of a sabbatical leave from church. I Corporation and now a graduate student at ETSU. told them to just think of me being away at college taking a Beginning Thursday, October 28, and scheduled for three consecutive Thursdays, the series will end on November 18. full load. Everyone agreed that they would not expect to see the college students at church every Sunday and understood The four-part series is designed to help women plan what I am trying to do. I am less than four weeks away for their financial health, now and in the future. Both the from my goal of completing all required courses for my guidebook and seminars are designed to educate and degree. empower women in financial planning. Stocked with a I am truly happy although my schedule is hectic at detailed glossary and references for texts, web sites, and times. I work twelve-hour shifts from two to four days per other outside financial planning resources, the guidebook will week. I have time off during the week for myself while be an invaluable financial planning tool. everyone else is either in school or at work. It has not been Please refer to the WRC Calendar of Events on an easy process but I feel I have developed as a complete page 3 for a complete list of dates for the series. All sessions person. I plan to get my house in order, return to church will be held in the WRC, Panhellenic Hall, basement suite 2. Reserve your space by calling the WRC at 423-439-7847. and continue towards a master’s degree and perhaps a doctorate. My middle son will graduate from high school in May. He has secured a full football scholarship to UT-C. He chose to stay close to home even though his older Lecture with Martin and Watson brother warned him that his parents would probably drop in scheduled for October to see him daily.
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