ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Sports page 13: Polo Interview page 6 New Mural

Great obscure page 10: Occupy Ithaca authors page 8

April/May 2012 • Estd. 1892 • Vol. 120 • No. 6• Published Monthly • www.ihstattler.com • Ithaca High School, 1401 N. Cayuga St., Ithaca, NY, 14850 • PRICELESS

Koreans to Leprosy Strikes IHS Romney to Rule IHS By LAZA RUS leading theory among investigators seems to be Visit Ithaca that the cause is some microscopic form of life, By LIL’ KIM The transition from March to April has but again, that’s just a theory.” Despite hinting that brought with it a frightening illness to IHS: lepro- the causes were moral in nature, Powers did not Since the death of Kim sy. Known to humans for thousands of years but comment when asked if Newt Gingrich had re- Jong-Il, North Koreans have not typically seen in the developed world, the dis- cently visited the building. been fairly unhappy about ease is dangerous and capable of rapidly spread- Investigators poured into the school over the the weak leadership of his ing and potentially triggering a global crisis. Why weekend, in special spacesuit-like clothing that son, Kim Jong-Un. In order the outbreak happened at IHS is not currently protects them from infection. They spent several to restore the nation’s pride in known, but administrators were quick to point hours each day. Details of what they found are strict and violent dictatorship, out that “[because] it could kill hundreds, we have unclear, but it seems they spent most of their time citizens of North Korea man- to take precautions.” playing cards in the sweet air-conditioned halls PHOTO/PROVIDED dated that IHS South Korean The World Health Organization (WHO) has and offices of J-Building. students rule over IHS. classified the outbreak as 4.2 buckets (out of a Despite limited knowledge about the out- However, because South maximum possible value of 2π) on their “oh crap” break, precautions have been set up for those Korean students do not ap- scale, which means that the outbreak should be suffering from the disease. Activities has already preciate the brutality of the taken very seriously — it has the potential to be- been converted into a leper colony, and the old, Great Leader’s iron fist, they come a global pandemic, perhaps striking during soft, most likely diseased old furniture has been have declined to execute such a period when doctors and scientists are more brought back in an effort to make the building oppressive and violent meth- worried about variants of the flu virus. The aver- seem more homey. By MOR MONNE ods of running IHS. age rating given out by WHO is 2.7; the maxi- There is ongoing discussion about bringing Christina Seung ‘12 said, mum ever is 5.3, for the outbreak of ignorance in already-constructed colonies if the epidemic Ithaca is gearing up for Republican presi- “We definitely considered which has swept America in recent years. becomes more dire. The main idea currently is dential candidate Mitt Romney’s upcoming making AP Calculus BC Very little about any potential causes is known. to use airplanes to pull Spinalonga, a small island visit and speech on April 1st, at the IHS Kulp and AP Physics C required When consulted, Mr. Powers said, “We still have that is part of Greece, to dock in Cayuga Lake. Auditorium. Romney, known for his fre- courses for all students for not ruled out the traditional biblical causes — Spinalonga has been the site of an active leper quent financial gaffes that place him squarely graduation.” Nonetheless, gossip, theft, murder, and infidelity — but it is colony as recently as 1957, and may even still have in the 1%, admitted in a recent press release she announced that she and possible that there are other explanations, too. A some old nuns on it who can help care for the ill. that it may seem strange to be visiting a far- other South Korean students left Democratic stronghold in Upstate New had other alternatives. York, but “I’m committed to sharing my Starting on the first day views with the American people.” of school next year, all IHS Gym Class to Feature New Scuba Even stranger is the presence of Ithaca’s students will be required to fledgling Occupy Wall Street movement, dance to K-pop songs—es- Diving Class which is protesting against the very things pecially those by the nine- that Romney stands for: big business, corpo- member girl group Girls By SNORKE ELLE of widespread budget cuts, we istrators have plans to expand rations, millionaire CEOs. However, the can- Generation. All language must all sacrifice to make sure this to anyone interested. didate has made an effort to sympathize with curriculums such as Latin, The old-fashioned IHS that the quality of education at Statistics show that a person the problems of average people: “I should tell German, Spanish, French, swimming requirement is IHS remains top-notch.” can survive without food for a my story. I’m also unemployed,” he said last and Chinese will be elimi- receiving a much-needed Administrators at IHS, led few days, but they can only year in Florida. Technically, this may be true, nated and replaced with Ko- overhaul to bring it into the by Principal Powers, are eager survive without air for a few but his net worth is over $200 million, which rean classes. During lunch, 21st century. At the Board to start aligning instruction for minutes. “It makes sense to me unfortunately makes it hard to believe he’s in all students will be forced of Education (BoE) meet- the new scuba diving classes that voters in our community the same boat. to put Kimchi in their ham- ing last week, voters decided in gym. Administrators hope would choose this scuba div- Romney’s views on LGBT rights (“I op- burgers, pizza, and sand- to reallocate funds originally to receive the necessary equip- ing program over reduced- pose same-sex marriage…I have taken ev- wiches. North Korean party earmarked for reduced-price ment, which consists of 500 price lunches,” said Powers. ery action that I could conceive of within officials have even offered to lunches and transportation regulators and octopus gaug- “When we compare the need the bounds of the law to defend traditional fly over to IHS and moni- services to purchase a set of ers, fins, masks, and expo- for air to the need for food, it’s marriage and to stop same-sex marriage,” tor all students during lunch scuba diving gear as a part of sure protection cushions. “To a no-brainer!” he said in 2008) and abortion (his campaign periods to effectively enforce Superintendent Brown’s pilot complement our new Marine Now that Dr. Brown’s poli- website states that “As president, he will end this new law. In addition, ev- program. Biology course offering, our cies are taking effect, the stu- federal funding for abortion advocates like eryone is required to watch at The equipment is brand students will now be given the dents of IHS are being pre- Planned Parenthood”), as well as his health- least five Korean movies and new and includes a thermal opportunity to elect for scu- pared for all the challenges of care and economic policies, make it difficult three drama series and write suit, mask, and oxygen tank, ba diving instruction in lieu the 21st century. Students will to see how he’s going to appeal to a town a 7-page analysis on each of all professional grade. In addi- of one week of the standard receive training from the new- whose most distinctive population groups them. All of the changes will tion, it has internal compart- swimming curriculum,” said ly installed SMART Boards are socialist, yoga-loving aging hippies and take effect for the next school ments for iPods and iPads, Powers in a recent interview. and iPads to compete in the twenty-something college students. year. Each and every stu- allowing students to interface “This instruction will be taking new information economy. Nevertheless, it’s going to be an exciting dent will be required to ac- with their electronic devices place in our state-of-the-art fa- “Our goal is to put an iPad night—maybe we’ll hear one of the quotes complish dancing to K-pop while in the pool. “At IHS, we cilities, namely the deeper end in every student’s hands and an that make headlines the next morning, music, learning the Korean remain committed to provid- of our existing pool.” oxygen tank on every student’s such as this one from January: “I believe in language, watching Korean ing a safe and comprehensive Currently our pilot program back,” said Powers. “When the an America where millions of Americans movies and dramas, and eat- education to each student that only allows for four students sea levels rise and force every- believe in an America that’s the America ing Kimchi in order to grad- meets his or her needs,” said per class to take this option, one to high ground, there will millions of Americans believe in. That’s the uate. Dr. Brown. “During this time but Powers said that admin- be no child left behind at IHS.” America I love.” 2 April/May 2012 Hail to the Chiefs iPads Enhance IHS ICSD Central Office Reorganization Classrooms

By ARYEH ZAX

This year, there are 10 classrooms throughout ICSD that have re- ceived iPads. The Ithaca City School District’s “teaching and learning with technology” initiative has manifested itself in collaboration with the Ithaca Public Education Initiative (IPEI), which has brought these pieces of technology into the classroom. “We, in some ways, are a bit behind when it comes to one-to-one implementations and technology implementations in general,” said Su- perintendent Luvelle Brown. “There are school districts... all over this country that have gone to one-to-one implementations.” IPEI supple- mented ICSD’s own budget for technology funds to bring the new tech- nology into the classroom. The iPads are not a one-time move; they are part of a bigger move- ment to support what the superintendent calls “21st-century learning,” though he clarifies, “[21st-century learning] is any-century learning. Communicating, asking good questions, writing skills...those are skills that we’ve had to use for centuries.” Dr. Brown stresses, however, that the technology is not the center of the work. “To ask the question about how the technology’s shifting is actually the wrong question to ask. It’s more about how teaching and learning is affecting achievement.” Dr. Brown later went on to point out that, “The book is a piece of technology. Rarely do we see people ask, ‘How did the textbook increase achievement in the classroom?’” The iPads are not there to radically change tried-and-true methods, nor are they just to change paper work- sheets into electronic ones—they are dynamic tools that can, for ex- continued on p. 4 PHOTO/MAYA PATT PHOTO/MAYA Superintendant Luvelle Brown introduces plans for central office reorganization.

By MIKE HALL

In recent years, the Ithaca City School District (ICSD) has seen massive turnover rates in principals and associate principals at IHS. Now, change is coming to ICSD as a whole. On February 28th, Dr. Luvelle Brown presented to the Board of Edu- cation (BoE) a new plan that would completely restructure the way the Central Office is run. The plan is an attempt to move away from the Ex- ecutive Team and into a more inclusive and collaborative model of orga- nization—namely, the Instructional Leadership Team. The old organizational structure’s “Executive Team,” under which the district is currently operating, is made up of three Assistant Superinten- dents (Business Services, Curriculum and Instruction, and Student Ser- vices) as well as a Director of Labor Relations and Human Resources. Brown expressed that the current structure of the district doesn’t allow for the most effective work possible to be done by central administra- tors. As Seth Peacock, Vice President of the Board, said, “If there’s a puddle outside, every one’s calling [Brown].” This new model attempts to stream- line the chain of command, further allowing for effective problem solving and collaboration. PHOTO/MAYA PATT The new plan, which was approved unanimously by the Board, includes six “Chiefs” focusing on the categories of Elementary Schools, Secondary Schools, Human Resources, Operations, Information, and Excellence. These posi- tions are Dr. Brown’s only direct reports. According to Brown, ICSD “lack[s] a true transition between elemen- tary school and middle school.” Therefore, to make a more cohesive edu- IPads are currently being incorporated into classrooms as teaching tools. cation experience for students, Brown stated that “everything from our pre-K program to graduation coaching will fall under these two positions [the Chief Elementary and Secondary School Officers].” The Chief of Excellence, however, will focus on improving professional New IHS Construction development and Students With Disabilities (SWD) consistency in the classroom. Brown added that “having a person connected to both of those Projects Come with [goals] is going to be big.” While much optimism for the plan was expressed among Board mem- bers, a trace of concern was noted by others. High Bonds “The devil is in the details and the details have not yet been finalized,” said Susan Mittler, President of the Ithaca Teacher’s Association. She fur- By PHOEBE PARRISH both members of IYC and program ther stated that “the generalities of the titles do not yet address the issues coordinator Jen Handy designed we are facing.” Due to increased confusion by a simple survey about the budget Brown noted that the plan was developed outside the constraints of the idea of both bonds and the bud- that was handed out to students at the budget process. While he expressed hope that this new plan would get process, Ithaca Youth Council IHS and LACS in June 2011. Data ultimately save the district money, there was no evidence presented to (IYC), a 14-body delegation to the revealed that students’ biggest con- this effect. local government, decided to make cern was the construction in Kulp, These newly created positions will be listed on or around March 13th, getting a student voice on the bud- where the money came from, and according to Brown, giving time for applicants to have their applications get process one of their top priori- why it couldn’t be used for other reviewed before the start of the next school year. ties this fiscal year. expenses. To get some answers, on All of the current members of the old “Executive Team” will need to After a meeting of the Ad Hoc behalf of the IYC, I sat down with apply for whichever of these new jobs best meets their skills; no employee Budget Reform Committee, as well Board of Education members Sean will simply be moved to one of the new positions. as a meeting between Board of Ed- Eversley-Bradwell and Bradley While Brown seems confident he can implement his new plan in time, ucation member Dr. Sean Eversley- Grainger. others again expressed reservations. Bradwell and IYC, the project be- “The Association,” said Mittler, “is optimistic but extremely cautious gan to really take shape. Together Q: How is it possible for the about the timeline for implementation.” continued on p. 4  April/May 2012

ocal ews riefs World News L N B Africa IHS International Students Speak at Mali – On the 22nd, a successful coup was carried out against Malian President Amadou Toure. The coup, led by Capt. Amadou Sanogo, has been Nosanchuk Lecture Series met with international condemnation, and has resulted in Mali’s suspension from the African Union. Capt. Sanogo assured Malians that he will not cling Through the week of March 5-9, IHS Sinon ‘12) talked about their experiences in to power, and urged the lawlessness which has followed the coup to cease. “I hosted its annual David Nosanchuk Me- education in their home countries, which call on all Malians to stop the pillaging. The acts of vandalism are not from morial Lecture series in honor of David ranged from Korea to Togo. our soldiers. It is not their mission, it is not their fight,” Sanogo said in an Nosanchuk, a former IHS student and Despite differences in systems and com- interview broadcast on Mali’s State TV. activist who died tragically on the last day munication, all four students agreed that of his senior year. The topic of the lecture education in their home countries is vastly The Americas series traditionally follows a controversial different from what it is here. The United States – Robert Bales, the US soldier accused of killing 17 Af- theme, with this year’s being “Education in Sinon, from Togo, walked the audience ghan civilians, has been officially informed of the 29 charges levied against the 21st Century.” Speakers included edu- through a typical day in his old school— him, including 17 counts of premeditated murder. If found guilty, Bales will cators, administrators, students, and clubs. finishing his sentences more than once may face a death sentence. The most widely attended lecture out of the with the words “...and then we eat.” Brazil – 17 charges have been filed against Chevron and the Transocean 12 was the lecture entitled “An International Memarzadeh, another international Company by Brazilian Federal Prosecutors. The charges come after an oil Perspective” where four international stu- student, explained how in Iran every male spill in November 2011 off the coast of Rio de Janeiro. Chevron has already dents from IHS (Maung Phway ‘12, Daniel in high school is required to take a military been fined $27 million by the Brazilian government. Lee ‘13, Arash Memarzadeh ‘12, and Jose training class.

Asia Maldives – The Maldivian Parliament was reopened by President Manik District Plans Summer Professional amidst opposing protests. Former President Nasheed, the Maldives’ first democratically elected President, resigned in February of 2012 in what he Development Institute described as a coup at gunpoint. Manik was sworn in as President of the Republic of Maldives on February 7th, 2012. This summer, from August 6-9, ICSD, in partnership with TST BOCES and the DPRK – The International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA), the UN nu- HOPE Foundation, opens the door to hundreds of educators and administrators from clear watchdog, said it received an invitation on March 16th to visit North around the state and country to come and share their ideas with ICSD professionals in Korea. While it declined to comment on the contents of the invitation, many Ithaca. hail the invitation as an important step forward. “We are excited for what will be a world-class opportunity, not only for ICSD edu- cators but for many others as well,” posted Brown in a superintendent update. August Europe 6th and 7th will focus on An International Conference Experience, while the last two Turkey – 15 soldiers, all women, from a rebel Kurdish separatist group days will see ICSD-only professional development in areas central to enhancing Critical were killed by Turkish security forces on March 24th. The women were from Thinking. an all-women’s unit of the Kurdistan Workers’ Party (PKK), which has been Though details haven’t been finalized, Superintendent Brown and Founder and outlawed in Turkey. President of the HOPE Foundation Alan Blankstein are eager to plan exciting oppor- -MIKE HALL tunities for professionals within ICSD that involve Curriculum Development, Assess- ment Literacy, Co-Teaching and Differentiated Instruction, and Critical Thinking.

Board of Education Update

By CHRISTINA SEUNG vanced Placement and Honors classes and taught both neering Inspiration Award which is the second most violin and viola. However, she decided to attend New prestigious award. The members are looking forward IHS Librarian Nan Bell informed the BoE members Roots over the other schools “for a change” and “more to expanding Lego League, a program that serves as about the success of English 101 and English 102 class- opportunities.” Justin ‘12 attended IHS as a freshman an introduction to technology for ICSD elementary es which emphasize “independence and rigor.” Seniors but switched over to New Roots due to “no guidance at school students. may take English 101 and English 102 for dual credit IHS” and negative peers. He is now involved in various The Board has voted in favor of participating in Co- at TC3. activities and has a “vision to a new, positive future.” lumbia University’s Summer Principals Academy in Just like previous meetings, multiple students from Representatives from Code Red announced to the order to sharpen leadership skills for those interested New Roots Charter School came to talk about the ben- BoE about their Regional competition at RIT in which in taking administrator or principal positions. efits of their educational environment. Hannah ‘12 they went from “dead last” to 6th seed out of 41 total. In addition, the Board members voted to keep Var- moved from Rochester. She had participated in Ad- Code Red made it to the semifinals and won the Engi- na as a voting site. BONDS European Industrial Revolution. Though the review apps have not been as as been not have apps review the Though any the about Revolution. iMovie document an make the Industrial students emails European had class button her in a of project push even recent A a notes, where. their graded; without being never are they’re when students app an on means results. which documents good to Evernote, provided transferred called have been now iPads have the classroom how her in Af Notes summer,” explained this also She training more said. doing to fronti forward looking we’re and classes. iPads her in frequently them uses Affronti, teacher, Angela Global classrooms. own 10th-grade a their change would iPads the how seeing experience teaching the make hopefully easier. and searches web conduct ample, IPADS borrows district school the words, other (in lic budget. operating year school current impact not our does money pay bond debt the facilities the than ments, other mainte Lastly, deferred expenses. less nance and savings but costs, energy in up-front also in just not dollars of millions district the save will now projects capital these ing these budget. annual complete the to within projects impossible it have made might District and Costs the risen as construction. years summer many juggled for out projects pushed have the would that issues scheduling caused bids lower construction. the significantly complete to and rates of form interest do the in lower fact, savings in but significant offer can hardship, so ing financial of times ing approvals. State (NYSED) York New Department and Education planning in years let the large-scale complete, alone to years are five some take These that of projects downturn. 2007—ahead in economic bond the the taxpayers approved facilities and District million voters School $98.5 City that Ithaca fact the of the with begin financially? spot tight a in a are we during when time buildings new construct to district school 4 “We’ve received enormous amounts of professional training for the the for training professional of amounts enormous received “We’ve in interest expressed many but iPads, use to selected were teachers Some pub the to sold are which debt are Bonds A: Q: complet students, ICSD of generation a Over have instances, some in would, Delaying dur build to counterintuitive seems it Now, to have We question. excellent an is This A: How do bonds work? bonds do How PHOTO/MAYA PATT April/May 2012 The ongoingrenovationstothe Athletics facilitieshavebeenfinancedbybonds. ------for other operating expenses? operating other for the on vote bonds. the to from prior millions estimated was by which that decreased been the has low, been share have local rates interest mov by while ahead question, ing previous taxpayers. the in local from mentioned As come do lo the dollars as known share, cal payments, aid debt that there cover extent not the To state, does impact. the budget from local comes no is aid To that Aid. extent Building the receives once NYSED, District the and voters completed by a approved If is Aid. project Building the is Aid of State One the of components Department). Education (New State NYSED York by approved construction be to must they prior and starting, ap voters, were the by project proved current the voters. funding the of bonds capital The approval No without like. expended would be we can as straightforward as period. time stated money) the of over amount inter original (the bond-holder principal the and est repays then money. the of District The source the is Wall this a or brokerage: bank a by Street purchased The usually are interest. as bonds to possible order lowest in the pay we bonds that the sure ad an auction use to we firm schools, visory the of case in the with In back it terest). pays and public the from money

Direct or indirect impact on the budget is not not is budget the on impact indirect or Direct A: We cannot use money from the bond to to bond the from money use cannot We A: Q: Why can we not use the money from bonds bonds from money the use not we can Why - - students have too.” have that students now more assignments writing en class enjoy them. student her have on they students increased effect many greatly and said, positive she about very have, gagement a They had positively students. have very her and they spoke room believes Affronti and used. iPads be projects, the still achievement—grades, found assessments—will evaluate to personally and ways have they how traditional and about iPads, the surveyed be will alike students and quicker now is end-of- the claims, as she attention classroom, easier. her more in and much Learning see approach. doubt tests no year will they used, heavily “They’re a great addition to my class. I’ve been enjoying them and my my and them enjoying been I’ve class. my to addition great a “They’re Teachers ways. of variety a in come will iPads the regarding Feedback ------citizens are most effective when well informed. well when effective most are active citizens short, In lo ignored? or are how reflected concerns cal education; State of the support its includes and This budget budget. the surrounding the can. create we us help district and best participate to actively are encouraged Students Superintended Council. the Advisory as Ad Student well Budget as a Committee created mem also visory has Education Brown of Dr. Board bers. to write or board at speak meetings can Students meetings. in ticipate with unhappiness or budget. the support to ways your direct the of demonstrate one is voting turn low have (10-15%), out traditionally school votes While budget vote! district and register to is 18, are students who those for dis option, first school The and business. budget trict the about opinions their up the about budget? opinions coming their voice to want might the by approved voters. ex specifically be capital All must in specific. penditures approved fairly is projects that list use capital 2007—a only of the can on We out money paid budget. this be operating should general or that the computers or anything textbooks generally buy or teachers pay Lastly, read and become aware of the issues issues the of aware become and read Lastly, par to is opinions your voice to way Another voice should students ways many are There A: Q: What advice would you give students who who students give you would advice What continued fromp.2 continued fromp.2 ------5 April/May 2012 Opinion: Cell phones in the library Editor-in-Chief By JULIA JOHN into a place to gossip and to socialize. Is us- and the same, making it okay to use either. Christina Seung ‘12 ing your mobile device proper and polite in Sometimes it is a good idea to give your [email protected] Perhaps I am the only one, but I often this area meant for study? thumbs and eyes a rest and stick the phone wonder about the etiquette of using cell Because many phones can be used in in your backpack for a while. The library News Editor phones in the library. The rules are that the same way as a computer, many students is the perfect place to unwind, explore the Mansi Vohra ‘13 there should be no ringers on, no games choose to read articles and do research on bookshelves, and fall asleep in the comfy [email protected] played, and no actual phone calls, but tex- their phones, especially when the comput- chairs. The library is full of newspapers, ting is a bit of a gray area. If you do it dis- ers are full. Texting is quiet. A conversation magazines, and books! As teenagers, we Opinion Editor creetly and respectfully, then it is fine. But sent through the phone is not disruptive, are often described as being glued to our Mike Hall ‘13 my question is whether texting in the li- whereas other conversations can reach un- electronics, never looking up from them. [email protected] brary is the right thing to do. The library is believably loud levels. iPods are allowed in There are plenty of friendly faces in the li- Features Editor a place to gather and explore new informa- the Zone of Silence. Therefore, cell phones brary that I’m sure we don’t notice while we Medeea Popescu ‘13 tion. However, the library has also evolved and iPods seem to mesh until they are one are texting under the table. [email protected]

Centerspread Editor Kelsey Shang ‘12 wrongful reward [email protected] By HANNAH GEORGE Staff Writer to your fancy, big-name col- someone else “borrow” your students from each other and Arts & Entertainment Editor lege, cheating comes with hard work. It’s only fair. their technology as they take Leo Winters ‘13 Cheating in school is a dis- serious consequences. Only Teachers: Stop making it their tests on blank paper with [email protected] gusting practice that has been after you’re kicked out for pla- easy to cheat. I say this with #2 pencils. Yet there is another Sports Editor happening way too often at giarizing your term paper will sorrow because ideally, every- way that instills in students a Siena Schickel ‘13 the high school lately. From you realize that you should one would have their moral sense that cheating will not be [email protected] quizzes to entire essays, there have listened to me. compasses firmly aligned tolerated. Could it be frequent are students who are choosing Also: Stop letting other peo- pointing due north. Howev- reminders? A convincing ar- Penultimate and the dishonest route of copy- ple cheat. Do you really want er, this is not the case. There gument? A poster of a pair of Back Page Editor ing, changing, and “sharing” to let some kid get a higher are two ways to make it more eyes? Fear? Aryeh Zax ‘14 their answers. grade than they deserve while difficult to cheat: physically There are no easy answers, [email protected] Students: stop cheating. you’re busting your butt to do and psychologically. The im- but I believe that with a bit It’s not only bad for your kar- the work? No. So speak up if mediate response to combat more effort we can end an era Copy Editor ma, but once you get accepted you see something. Don’t let cheating would be to separate of rewarding cheaters. Annelise Raymond ‘12 [email protected]

Photography Editor Maya Patt ‘13 Editorial: [email protected] Layout Editor Keeping up with the joneses Caroline Estill ‘12 [email protected] One only has to look around the classrooms of IHS to see that advances made in the field of education. It is difficult for teach- change is in the air. One of the most prominent and controversial ers to have to repeatedly learn how to adapt their teaching cur- Webpage Editor changes is the new technology that’s pouring in. riculum using this technology, and others would prefer to stick Sunny Joo ‘12 Without a doubt, IHS is making strides towards becoming to conventional teaching methods. Dr. Brown said during his lec- [email protected] more technologically advanced, but can everyone keep up? Inte- ture that SMART Boards were already becoming outdated. Yet Business and Advertising grating technology and education is a heavily stressed theme this this poses a problem, as many teachers still do not know how to Manager year. Lectures from Dr. Brown placed an emphasis on the fact that utilize SMART Boards in their teaching routine, and the school Emily Szpiro ‘14 nothing in the world of technology is permanent. Yet the loom- only recently installed this piece of technology. While technology [email protected] ing question remains, a question that Dr. Brown himself claimed does provide wonderful learning opportunities for students, both [email protected] no one has answered: how do we keep up with technology if it is in and out of school, it is important that these new technologies continuously changing? are being added upon a stable base. However, knowing how to use Distribution Manager Many feel that technology should be a priority in school sys- technology is becoming increasingly important in virtually every Greg Chu ‘12 tems, and that schools should constantly aim to provide the latest aspect of many jobs and life in general. There is no doubt that the [email protected] technology for their students. However, this is a laborious and modern world is becoming more and more reliant on technol- Faculty Adviser expensive process. With every new technology or disruptive in- ogy. Therefore, the school’s desire to stay on the cutting edge is Deborah Lynn novation, the whole industry changes. If a school wishes to pos- understandable. [email protected] sess the newest and best form of technology, the older ones will It is necessary that students and faculty stay aware of the have to be improved or replaced. changes being made in the school. Technology that the school has In addition, Dr. Brown explained in his talk during the Nosan- affects students’ high school careers, and thus it is critical that stu- chuck lecture series, that teachers have to adapt to all the new dents and teachers do voice their opinions about these changes. The Tattler is the student-run newspaper of Ithaca High School. The Tattler was founded ll tudents in 1892, and is A IHS S published monthly.

As an open forum, are welcome to apply for The Tattler invites submissions of opinion pieces and letters to the editor from all members editorial positions of the community. Drop off submissions in H134, or e-mail them to Aplications may be found [email protected]. Letters can be mailed to The IHS Tattler in The Tattler office and are due on 1401 N. Cayuga St. Ithaca, NY 14850

April 19th We reserve the right to edit all submissions.

These submissions do not necessarily reflect the views email [email protected] of The Tattler editorial staff. for more information PHOTO/HELEN HAMILTON - - - . lton mural i

art am

H nstalled i elen H newly d the an

see an to When you were painting, how did you arrange yourselves around We We both started with one on each side and then after 10 or 20 min There was that bit at the end where the paint started coming off.... When it felt right. Once we finished what we thought we were going Did you guys make any mistakes? And if you did, how did you fix Would you do the same kind of mural again if you had the chance? How has the response been?

The first day took about four hours...the next day maybe five...the How long did it take overall? How did you know when you were finished? I think the process was great in terms of not having sketches and Yeah, when we were sealing it the first thing we used took paint off. Right up on the wall, with ladders and everything. I think all together it took around 15 hours. That is such a good question, people always ask me that.... Soit became really unified; you can’t tell that it was two different peo g The response we’ve gotten has been really awesome. We wanted it to ng o MP: JC: JC: MP: HH: JC: MP: HH: JC: MP: HH: JC: MP: JC: HH: MP: JC: i feel like a gift to the studentsreceived andthat staffway. People here, have andasked destroyingI me,think “Aren’t you it?”worriedit hasNo, notaboutreally at all,people been I respectam not worriedit as a giftat all—I and thatthink is howpeople we intended really it. doing it as a visual conversationother where personwe are, didjust respondingbefore. Ito would wouldwhat look the thework same,that because way it again,is a veryof painting.but personal I don’t and in-the-momentthink it kind it? utes we switched to each other’sother side left andoff. back again to add to where each ple painting it. That was intentional—we wanted it to all work together. last day maybe five or six? them? We had only done a little patch,up. But really,which I don’t thinkwas theregood, is any sosuch athingwe line ashad a or mistake; tosomething touch if there wethat was didn’t reallyporate likeit. we could just change it and incor to do, and we stepped back and thought it didn’t need any more. C ld i

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t i vi The newly created mural in D-Building by Helen Hamilton ‘12 and art teacher Judy Cogan. The newly created mural in D-Building by Helen Hamilton ‘12 and art By PATT MAYA seen

t ’ nter We didn’t really have any, we just kinda started.... I haven What was your inspiration? Where did your ideas come

Yeah, we didn’t have a plan per se; the inspiration for do

you ural

f No, no. I What were the artistic steps in making it? Did you sketch it out So the image wasn’t planned out? How did that work with the pro Did you paint it while it was on the wall, or was it on the ground? Did your vague idea look like what is out there now? We just took the brush and started painting. We startedWe by each having a vague idea of what we thought it would We started with the black and then talked about a color scheme. We No sketches.... It is pretty different, but at least as good, if not better, than what I

It was just out of our heads. M MP: HH: JC: MP: JC: Both: JC: MP: JC: HH: MP: Judy Cogan: Maya Patt ‘13: Helen Hamilton ‘12: some warmer colors to the top and bottom wave. ing it to look like mainlya in the rainbowcool colors effectand doing kind andof a wave We thoughtwantedof color we down weretothe goingcenter. keep to do athe wave ofbottom, colorsmaller schemecolorsbut downthen the topwe and realized that would be over cool so we did bring in definitely didn’t want to just use any old colors. We talked about not want first? imagined. of the mural and looking at what each otherthat. was doing and responded from look like at the end, soand we decidedjust hadto astart little with talkthe beforeblack, weand startedstarted paintingworking at opposite sides on the school. cess? an opportunity to leave beensome in artof classesher and inartwork the art roomhere prettyyears muchin nonstopand school forI thejust last because fourthought itshe’s would be a nice place for her to leave her mark ing a mural at all was just to havethink. an opportunity I just wanted tofor make us artto withwork Helentogether, and I alsoI wanted Helen to have from?  April/May 2012 A & Movie Review: This Means War The Secret World of By CHRISTINA SEUNG able part of the movie was Lauren’s total Arrietty obliviousness of it all. Both FDR and Tuck We’re only three months into the year roam around her house (of course neither By Sarah Buckser 2012, yet we already have a top candidate of them know the other one is there) while for “Worst Movie.” This Means War, to put she is making popcorn and dancing in her Renowned Japanese animation studio Studio Ghibli has just it simply, is about two CIA agents with a sweater and underwear. Chances are that released its newest movie. Like all the studio’s previous hits: Spir- strong friendship who fall in love with the she heard a footstep or caught a glimpse of ited Away, Kiki’s Delivery Service and My Neighbor Totoro, The Se- same girl: Lauren (Reese Witherspoon). either one of them but she didn’t. She also cret World of Arrietty is a quiet and beautiful film brimming with Although both FDR (Chris Pine) and doesn’t seem to realize how each of them imagination. Tuck (Tom Hardy) are handsome and knows perfectly what she wants. For exam- The story is a new adaptation of Mary Norton’s The Borrowers, charming, the characters are quite differ- ple, she tells Trish that she feels Tuck is too a book about tiny people who live under the floorboards of an ent. FDR is the player with all sorts of social safe. For their next date, Tuck takes her to old house. They live by “borrowing” bare necessities from their connections and Tuck is the sweet, British play paintball in which he shows off some human hosts, on secret missions carried out in the middle of the gentleman who is a divorced father of a lit- of his CIA moves. Of course, just like a true night. tle boy. Lauren is simply head-over-heels in hackneyed film, this is how she chooses the For Arrietty, a four inch tall borrower, things are simple. She love with both of them since they have such man of her dreams: Lauren is about to get lives with her mother and father, and is just old enough to begin great qualities. With the help of her friend killed on the road and must choose wheth- borrowing. However, things change when a new “being” moves Trish (Chelsea Handler), she goes on dates er she’ll run to the right side of the road into the house. with each of them and evaluates their pros (where Tuck is pleading for her to come) Shawn is a very sick twelve year old boy who has come to visit and cons. Meanwhile, FDR and Tuck’s CIA or the left side (where FDR is urgently or- his mother’s house the weekend before his big heart surgery. As he skills and resources become useful. They dering her to come). She picks a side and gets out of the car on his first day there he catches sight of some- abuse their spyware and weapons to moni- consequently, the guy to whom her heart thing running through the grass. He soon finds out, to his aston- tor each other’s date in order to outdo one truly belongs. ishment, that it is Arrietty. another. Eventually Lauren does pick one It’s not that Witherspoon’s, Hardy’s, As Shawn learns more about the borrowers, he and Arrietty of the two, but just like any other mushy Pine’s or Handler’s acting was particularly gradually become friends. In the end they must work together to and cliche movie, the other guy standing in horrible. Both Hardy and Pine tried their save Arrietty’s house and family from destruction at the hands of the dust finds another source of happiness. best. Witherspoon also oozed innocence the family maid. Not only was this movie unoriginal but it and charming desperation. Handler was I would definitely give this movie five out of five stars. It is sub- was also very unbelievable. It’s one thing to exactly like her real self: crude and funny. tle and very sweet , and although the plot is somewhat predict- film a love-triangle that breaks but eventu- McG obviously tried to reach all audienc- able the film made up for it with exquisitely drawn animation and ally restores friendship. But to have scenes es, from the action-loving men to the ro- luxurious background. so utterly unconvincing such as Lauren mance-comedy-loving women. But instead The voice of Arrietty is Bridget Mendler, and her parents are quite calmly asking “What was that?” when of killing two birds with one stone—who voiced by Amy Poehler and Will Arnett. The cast does a wonderful Tuck fired a gun at FDR’s helicopter behind am I kidding? He did kill it for both audi- job, and really make their characters come alive. The Secret World her head? Furthermore, the most unbeliev- ences. of Arrietty is well worth seeing, and enjoyable for every age.

The Magic Flute Wall of Sound: The International Quick Playlist

By Teta Alim suggests – look no further for Goldfish has arrived. This Cape Town band does dance 1. “#WhiteGirlProblems” by Hoodie Al- music that has a perfect blend of jazz and len (US) from Leap Year African instrumentals. Off Hoodie Allen’s latest mixtape, this song speaks the truth. Not only are the lyr- 4. “10,000 Nights of Thunder” by Alpha- ics funny and honest, the beat is moving and beat (Denmark) from This Is Alphabeat very easy to groove to. Alphabeat will always be one of my top five bands only because I have a soft spot 2. “Escapee” by Architecture in Helsinki for upbeat, catchy pop songs, especially with (Australia) from Moment Bends adorable lyrics. This song is especially sweet Although the name of the band has the because it’s a duet between the male and fe- capital of Finland in it, this band actually male lead singers. Best love song ever? Quite PHOTO/PROVIDED hails from sunny Melbourne, Australia. possibly. Their fourth studio album gives us a surplus of indie pop perfection. This song is espe- 5. “Let You Down” by Hungry Kids of By ESTHER JEON cially good to listen to on a warm, sunny day, Hungary (Australia) from Escapades riding in a convertible with the top down. Don’t let the silly band name throw you The production of Mozart’s The Magic Flute was put on off. Their first full-length album is full of and managed by Ithaca College. It was their fourth major 3. “Cruising Through” by Goldfish indie rock goodness. “Let You Down” is a performance of the year, preceding Plumfield Iraq, The (South Africa) from Perceptions of Pacha standout for me because of the awesome in- Light in the Piazza, and Illuminated Bodies. If you’re looking for the perfect cruis- strumental intro and the easy-to-remember Upon entering the recently redone lobby, I was touched ing song while driving – just like the title chorus. by a light atmosphere preparing me for a spectacular per- formance. There were no loud noises or crowds, but the show was sold out nevertheless. I milled about until the lights flickered, ushering us into the theater. With no de- Cayuga Chamber Orchestra Concert lays, the opera began. The set was so simple, yet so beautiful. It was a set of By Esther Jeon steps that led upwards, and the entire performance was held on them. Occasionally, a prop would be lowered The music programs in Ithaca are something that I would personally pick out as one from the sky to provide more scenery. The costume de- of the best opportunities provided in Ithaca. Not only are there good teachers and or- sign was also exquisite, particularly Papageno’s outfit. Pa- chestras to participate in, professional concerts are held almost every week at the Ithaca pageno was played elegantly by Steven Humes, who wore College. I haven’t been taking the advantage of this until just recently. I used the free the feathery suit perfectly. tickets I got from Mr. Myers, because the Cayuga Chamber Orchestra gives out a few free “The Queen of the Night,” however, stole the night ones for students to come and listen. On the evening of March 10th, I went to one of the away, as is typical in most productions of The Magic Flute. orchestral series of Cayuga Chamber Orchestra (CCO). It was held at Ford Hall at Ithaca It is rare to find a woman who can take on the role of College. “The Queen of the Night”; the part is incredibly difficult The first piece was Celestial Fantasy, Op.44 by Hovhaness, a modern composer. In and it takes a very unique talent to tackle it. However, this piece, the cellos and the violas had the most interaction. There were only three viola Mengchun Yang stunned the audience, and each of her players, but they sounded really unified and strong. One of the viola players was our IHS hair-raising notes was an utterly brilliant sound exiting Orchestra conductor, Mr.Myers. It was a different feeling to see Mr.Myers as one of the her mouth. orchestra members. Also, my private violin teacher was performing in the first violin sec- Other talented vocalists included Nicholas Harmantzis, tion. This concert was a nice opportunity to see my teachers play. who played the main character of the opera, Tamino, and The last two pieces were performed with a famous solo violinist, Benjamin Beilman. Ana Strachan, who played Pamina. Both pieces he played are famous: Romance in F Minor by Dvorak, and Zigeunerweisen Every character and designer helped create a wonderful by Sarasate. I’ve listened to both of these before, so I found his performance very engag- night that will surely stay with me. I am looking forward ing. He was absolutely fabulous, making the concert especially memorable. I’m planning to the next IC performance, Working! to go to more CCO concerts from now on. Great obscure Authors

Kenzaburō Ōe A.J. Jacobs

By KELSEY SHANG

Biography: Born in 1968, Arnold Stephen Jacobs, Jr., or A.J. Jacobs, currently lives with his family in New York City. He works as the editor at large for Esquire, a men’s magazine, and is the author of three bestsell- ing books, many of which are written as memoirs. Before you ask, ‘Why, this man isn’t obscure,’ please consider the following: Firstly, that wasn’t a question. But secondly, this brave man is someone that, I personally believe, everyone should at least know. Despite his de- served achievements, clever writers like Jacobs just aren’t recognized by the younger generation (but when Stephanie Meyers is being tube-fed into popular culture, who do we have to blame?). However, this may come to change as his works The Year of Living Biblically and My Outsourced Life are expected to be released in film. Aside from writing, Jacobs periodically appears as a commentator on NPR’s Weekend Edition and a guest writer for other publications such as The New York Times, Entertainment Weekly, New York maga- zine, and Dental Economics magazine.

Sample of Works: The Two Kings: Elvis and Jesus (1994), The Know-It-All: One Man’s Humble Quest to Become the Smart- est Person in the World (2004), My Outsourced Life (2005), The Year of Living Biblically: One Man’s Humble Quest to Follow the Bible as Literally as Possible (2007), The Guinea Pig Diaries: My Life as An Experiment (2009),

PHOTO/PROVIDED Drop Dead Healthy: One Man’s Humble Quest for Bodily Perfec- tion (2012)

Synopsis of The Year of Living Biblically: One Man’s Humble Quest to Follow the Bible as Literally as Possible (2007): In this memoir, A.J. Jacobs decides to spend one year following the Bible as exactly as possible. He listed and practiced more than seven-hundred Biblical rules and practices such as stoning adul- By JENSEN LO and since the villagers aren’t aware of the terers, and the more obscure ones like not wearing mixed threads. cause, the boys are suspected as potential Witty and bold, he records the many experiences and individuals Biography: carriers of the plague. The villagers flee he encounters including an Amish family, a Bedouin shepherd and Kenzaburō Ōe was born on the island and lock the boys inside the village with the New York City Atheists. And while “living Biblically” seems un- of Shikoku, in Southern Japan, on Janu- the rotting corpses of plague-infested ani- necessary and pointless in modern functionality, Jacobs takes time ary 31, 1935. As a child, he lost his father mals. to explore the many fascinating aspects of religions and the immense in World War Two and was raised by his While the group initially acts like any implications it has upon our lives and beyond. mother who introduced him to literature group of undisciplined boys, by trashing at a young age. After graduating from high the village, the narrator eventually man- Why He is Great: school, Ōe attended Tokyo University to ages to create a semblance of social order. Jacobs has an interesting philosophy in life in that he views his study French literature. This prompted The narrator even manages to develop a life as a social experiment. Simply by asking whether it can be done him to write his first set of works, primar- romantic relationship with an abandoned presents challenges he jumps to meet. And indulgently, we, as view- ily influenced by his studies of French and girl found in a warehouse after the villag- ers, can catch a glimpse into what we’ve always wondered and live American literature at Tokyo University. ers leave. vicariously through his antics. While such experiences can become Despite being a celebrated author, having After meeting a Korean boy, from a profound and enlightening, there’s nothing wrong with having a won the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1994, nearby village, and a deserter, from the laugh as well. Ōe‘s works are not as well-known in the Japanese army, who teach them to hunt United States. and perform other tasks around the vil- lage, things start to look up for the group. Sample of Works: Then after a chapter of feel-good optimism, Nip the Buds, Shoot the Kids (1958), their world begins crashing down again. A Personal Matter (1964), Fearful of the authorities discovering such Hiroshima Notes (1965), mistreatment of the boys, the villagers co- The Silent Cry (1967), erce the boys with bribery and violence to Teach Us to Outgrow Our Madness keep their secret. Only when the narrator (1969), refuses does he meet an uncertain fate. The Day He Himself Shall Wipe My Tears Away (1972), Why He is Great: The Pinch Runner Memorandum Kenzaburō Ōe manages to take his writ- (1976), ing to the next level by approaching topics Rouse Up O Young Men of the New considered taboo in Japan from sex to the Age! (1983), conduct of Japanese soldiers during World A Healing Family (1995) War Two. While earning many literary awards in Japan, he has also dealt with law- Synopsis of Nip the Buds, Shoot the Kids suit against him with allegations of defa- (1958): mation of Japanese soldiers; After pointing Nip the Buds, Shoot the Kids is the tale of out their connection with mass suicides fifteen teenage boys trying to work off their on the outlying Japanese islands (as the debt to society in Japan during World War Allied Forces approached the mainland), Two. For some reason or another, they are the judge noted that such allegations had all sent to a reformatory camp designed to basis, and thereby resulting in his victory. PHOTO/PROVIDED correct behavior. Back in those days, the Ōe blends traditional Japanese literature solution to any sort of behavioral issue was with modern American and French writ- hard physical labor; the boys are assigned ing styles, creating a unique blend that not to a remote village to work in the fields. only preserves cultural heritage, but en- However, the village is afflicted by plague, hances it. 9 April/May 2012

Christopher Castellani

By CHRISTINA SEUNG the heroine, is married to Antonio. Although she still daydreams of what happened to her previ- Biography: ous lover, she learns to accept Antonio’s growing Christopher Castellani, the son of Italian im- love. Meanwhile, Antonio contemplates stopping migrants who moved to America following World his friend, Renato, from committing a poten- War II, was born in 1972. Although Castellani was tially serious crime. In addition, he struggles to born and raised in Delaware, his Italian heritage make ends meet while working at a car factory in inspired him to write both of his acclaimed nov- hopes of providing Maddalena with a high-qual- els A Kiss From Maddalena and The Saint of Lost ity American life. Over the course of the novel, Things. In 2005, Castellani was nominated for the Maddalena and her family befriend Giulio, a tal- prestigious IMPAC Dublin Literary Award. He ented, soulful singer who lost both of his parents. was educated at Swarthmore College, Tufts Uni- He becomes Maddalena’s confidant of her wor- versity, and Boston University. Currently, Castel- ries, desires and memories until he finds a lover lani lives in Arlington, Massachusetts and works on his own. as the Artistic Director of a non-profit creative writing center called “Grub Street.” Why He is Great: Aside from his personal connections to his Sample of Works: Italian roots, Castellani paints a vivid and his- A Kiss from Maddalena (2003), torically realistic picture of Italian immigrant The Saint of Lost Things (2005) families and women’s limited opportunities dur-

ing the early 1950s. With descriptive, eloquent PHOTO/PROVIDED Synopsis of The Saint of Lost Things (2005): language, Castellani’s good eye for precise dic- This book follows several Italian immigrant tion creates imagery that evokes powerful illus- families as they struggle against homesickness trations. He succeeds in portraying the normally in their pursuit of the American Dream with cliché American Dream in a manner that is real- their minimum-pay jobs. Maddalena Grasso, istic, refreshing, and beautiful.

John Green

logical order) Looking for Alaska, An Abundance of The Fault in Our Stars (2012) Katherines, Let It Snow: Three Holiday Romances (a collaboration with Maureen Johnson and Lauren Synopsis of The Fault in Our Stars (2012): Myracle), Paper Towns, Will Grayson, Will Grayson Hazel Grace Lancaster is sixteen years old and (a collaboration with David Levithan), and The Fault has cancer. She is diagnosed with thyroid cancer at in Our Stars. Green has received numerous awards, age twelve, with seemingly no possible cure, until a including the Michael L. Printz award for his first miracle drug gives her a few extra years. Although two novels and the 2009 Edgar Award for Best Young this is supposed to allow her to go back to living a Adult Novel. Three of his novels, Looking for Alaska, normal life, she develops clinical depression, avoid- Paper Towns, and The Fault in Our Stars, have been ing friends, school, and life. Things are looking pretty considered for movie release. down, and a support group with fellow young can-

PHOTO/PROVIDED Most prominent is his success with his latest novel. cer patients isn’t helping, until she meets Augustus For seven weeks it was listed as #1 on the New York Waters. The book follows Hazel’s journey out of her Times Best-Seller List for Children’s Books. Green depression as she falls in love with Augustus and dis- signed 150,000 copies of the pre-ordered books in covers the joys in life that she had shied away from for Sharpie colors pre-determined by a percentage of the past two years. Green covers the full spectrum of votes from fans. When it was discovered shortly af- human emotion in his book, making the reader laugh terward that international buyers received unsigned and cry within the same chapter. It is truly a wonder- By SIENA SCHICKEL copies due to an underestimation, Green sent the ful read and a book not easily forgotten. readers signed bookplates. If John Green had signed Biography: one book every five seconds 24/7 with no breaks, it Why He is Great: In the universe of YouTube, in the land of the nerd- would take him over a week to finish. It was a wonder So if you haven’t already read something by John fighters, there is a channel called the Vlogbrothers, followers of his vlog didn’t see his hand in a cast after Green, I highly recommend you do. Among modern seemingly dedicated to educating the public about the books were sent off! young adult authors, Green has captured the essence honey badgers and the multiverse; the Green brothers of a good novel: like every good story or even life itself, have even stated that, “Really, it’s not about anything Sample of Works: there is a mix of humor, love, sadness, and happiness. in particular. Whether we’re talking about our lives, Looking for Alaska (2005), That combination makes a story three-dimensional making each other laugh, or trying to get something An Abundance of Katherines (2006), (as opposed to a flat or boring storyline) and gives it more important across, people seem to enjoy it.” Let It Snow: Three Holiday Romances (2008), life. Any future books he writes will probably require One of the brothers, John Green, has been writing Paper Towns (2008), an army of robots to sign the pre-ordered copies to young adult fiction since 2005, including (in chrono- Will Grayson, Will Grayson (2010), avoid permanently damaging his hand.

Katherine Dunn

By LEO WINTERS front of live audiences. Now, “geek” is used as a label for unpopular kids and Best Buy computer re- Biography: pair men. Within Dunn’s novel, we explore the definition of this traditional and In 1945, Katherine Dunn was born in Kansas but spent most of her life in contemporary word. Oregon. She attended college in Portland and, following her graduation, trav- Rather than a modern-day romance novel, Geek Love is about a family of trav- eled around Europe. After having a child in Ireland, she returned, with her son, eling circus freaks: Olympia, an albino hunchbacked dwarf (the protagonist), Ar- to Portland, where she hosted a radio show in which she read short stories. turo, her brother who has flippers for arms and legs, and Electra and Iphigenia, Dunn had numerous odd jobs until she wrote her first novel her Siamese twin sisters. They are all disfigured due to their in 1970. parents’ use of amphetamines and radioisotopes in order to breed their own slew of freak shows. The characters in Geek Sample of Works: Love are filled with so much personality that their deformi- Attic (1970), ties soon become the least interesting trait about them. Truck (1971), Geek Love (1989) Why She is Great: Katherine Dunn is an impressive author simply because Synopsis of Geek Love (1989): of the great risks she takes in her writing without sacri- If you saw the cover of Geek Love, Katherine Dunn’s most ficing the quality of her storytelling. With plots revolving well known novel today, you would probably assume it to be around human oddities, and sometimes rambling para- a teenage comedy about two socially inept teenagers who PHOTO/PROVIDED graphs which stretch on for pages and pages, it would be engage in an adorably awkward romance with one another; easy to dismiss Dunn as an author who tries too hard to be however, you couldn’t be more wrong. outside the norm. Instead, her stories and characters are First of all, the term “geek” has changed pretty drastically so immensly and immediately absorbing that, as soon as over time. It was originally used (as in this book) to describe you get one sentence deep into her novels, she proves to be sideshow carnies who would bite the heads off of chickens in anything but pretentious. PHOTO/MARY LAUPPE ------eart : H ere e h h t , eryw v E The movement has received criticism about lacking a aboutlacking criticism has received Themovement

We thanked Claire for her time and were turning to Ithaca is frequently referred to as “10 square miles sur to as “10 square referred is frequently Ithaca store problem, of all of these problems. All of the things that are are that things the of All problems. these of all of problem, and hurting our our community world are all connected. everything.” do can person one No leave when she dashed back with a finalmessage for us. Eyes bright, she whispered, “The futureis yours!” These sum up the kind words of per hope and energy four that vades rather than the live with Occupy movement; injus the for people, the for them fighting are people these tices, you. for and generation, next it discusses the history of corporate personhood and how how and personhood the of it corporate discusses history the addition of the “the word natural to the States 14th amendment United the given has that loophole the fix would best that government In money the can past, buy.” there privi white on one including workshops, other been have Crimi Race, Greenwood: “Shawn called another and lege Making.” Profit and nalization, which leads to the why question: oc by rounded reality,” cupy Ithaca? Without missing a beat, Claire responded, everywhere. And “Occupy as one friend has said, occupy symbolic of your heart. being and present, It’s conscious, It’s live. we where It’s Ithaca? not Why other. each engaging Ithaca?’” in eat ‘Why [asking] like larger much so is focus its because only perhaps but focus, A past. the in protests of those than all-encompassing and of freedom exercising about is movement the of part large of culture the lost “We’ve press. the of freedom and speech practicing the if First Amendment we ever had it....We’re cre about In the it’s end, said Claire. trying it,” to reclaim ating a brighter future, taking hold of the arc of history and bending it towards a better place. doing yourself Claire by just continued, not you’re that fact the just me, “For this but with coming that together, others you’re in your the solving of beginning the is space, public in community, concerning concerning the goals of the that movement they hope to to distribute is across Funding Occupiers the an country. issue when it comes to large-scale productions like mem this, active the commitments other around working is as movement to the dedication firm their but have, may bers already had they pamphlet A forward. moving them keeps created was being given out at a many of their one workshop exemplifies in and Jr. King, honor Luther Martin of Constitution,” the Amend to Move “Ithaca’s Titled focuses. k es i ------oo B

Staff Writer Staff ccup e h O Occupy Ithaca’s outpost in Dewitt Park. outpost in Dewitt Occupy Ithaca’s

t , k aca h ar t P I

e h t An An interesting group can be found there – not the Even Even in this unseasonably warm most winter, of the By PETER ALEXANDER and HANNAH GEORGE GEORGE HANNAH and ALEXANDER PETER By Their current work, in addition to maintaining the Claire Claire also explained how the has movement evolved. the into insight some offered Claire, women, the of One The Occupy Ithaca movement is not as easy to locate as locate to easy as not is movement Ithaca Occupy The symbolic symbolic occupation of DeWitt Park, consists largely of spreading awareness through pamphlets and workshops. booklet larger a together putting of process the in are They negotiating, negotiating, it was continually brought up that ‘Because a we seeking first do feel permit, did notyou this without was That the with permit.’ this process to honor beholden catch-22.” little interesting an “When we firststarted atcamping thepark, we were all with food involved bru anti-fracking, anti-police justice, tality, ending war... It was freezing, it was cold, energizing was space [but] public in that out being that seemed it kind it’s Now doing. already were people that work that all there that trust to begun I’ve period. dormant in a of little are waves of doing what and we’re time that it’s to come inside.” Autumn Leaves, the used bookstore on the Commons. the on bookstore used the Leaves, Autumn move expect would a you for radicals protest college-age and men of group distinguished more a but this, like ment thick headsets, glasses, gray with hairs Bluetooth women, demean welcoming focused but an and intently to spare, or. encamp the to responded has government Ithaca the way Novem in back came attorney city and mayor “The ment. the came They encampment. the started first we when ber next day and brought an for application a permit. Some people went to apply for a permit, but in the process of one might think. Sure, you can set see you up in the De tents think. Sure, might one of themiddle the winter. it’s – butday after day Park Witt there? sleep actually anyone Does is notice youmight thing Thefirst symbolic. just are tents that the of cluster tents has moved from their prominent location on the corner of Park to DeWitt an area next to the First Baptist Church. At first glance,it may seemto be devoid of life, but would investigation reveal that the smallest tent – the nearly that hidden revealed beneath who several occupier tarps single a and houses snow– fresh of area upstairs the in meets form current its in movement ------An New By LUCY DUAN

Visions:

We hope to see you all there! The Oxfam Hunger Banquet will Asif free food and learning more Oxfam Hunger Banquet guests To raise awareness of hunger at Imagine if 25,000 people lined

Hunger Event Unforgettable donate to the local food banks. (330 East State Street,Admission Ithaca, toNY). this eventthough is wefree, appreciate al $2donations or nonperishableof food items to take place on April6:30 19, p.m.-8:302012 frommunity p.m. School at of the Music Com and Arts sign at the eventattendance. to confirm your teachers if theycredit are (begoffering if necessary), beextra sure toand obtain if so,a slip that we will to our wonderful event,also getyou extracould creditStudies in your Social classes. Kindly ask your do something about it. about poverty enough and to hunger motivate aren’t you to come ach, you will gaintive aon newthe perspecrootand causes poverty—and of hunger will hopefully laug will beyou probably won’t attending. leave the Oxfam Hunger Although Banquet with a full stom the Durable Rust Project.Resistant Wheat In Prize addition Laureate Nobel Peace Dr. Norman Bor can also take peopleon fromthe aroundroles theshare oftheirworld experiences realand with Sarahothers. Nell Davidson, Director of or share sparse portions ofwater. rice and in poverty. they Depending sit, some receive on ner, a wherewhilefilling others din eat a simple meal assign them levels, to based differenton the about latest thestatistics income number of people living willhost an event known as the famOx Hunger Banquet. At this event,guests randomly draw tickets that and motivation to take action. a global and Visions local Life Sciences level, Class the of 2012 New somewhat related. Ahem).every It’s only once in outrageousawhile statistics when that I I feel hearpain about: school, friends,ulars, extracurric Asian parents, [not]life… having (these a last two points may be causes. Global hunger isthing notthat someoccupies my brain. Ihave “more immediate things” to worry pen. Although 25,000 peoplemurdered aren’ton the spot each day, this is the number each of day people from who hunger die or related bullet to the head. feel?How would Thankfully, you thispen. doesn’t Well, hap it doesn’t exactly hap up before you each day and took a PHOTO/DAVID LIM ------onals “For a few days we step held at Cornell University thathas schools coming all the way from South Africa and India to debate. is IHS representing Belgium, Pakistan,andNorthKorea. This conferenceheld will from March be 29th to April 1st, so wish our del egates luck! tions, and represented our school. I was have thrilled so many to underclass men do so well.” Over half of the students at this past conference were classmen, which under a suggests hopeful future club. The for next the conference will be right here at home: The Cornell Model United Nations Conference is international an conference of the United States. schoolhighbeing just of out students and take onrole of the being world ers, lead working to make world the a better place,” says Ms. Lasher, the Model UN adviser. “This past confer ence was a huge success— we debated, made resolu gi PHOTO/KIM LASHER e R

es k a As Mr. Krywe later said, “The next step for the L

ing Inspiration Award. To theearn secondwhat most isprestigious perhaps award,allywinning behindthe competition, actu ateam must display good communication, and present perform consistently themselves well during well, matches. teamis to prepare for our regional in Washington D.C. the last weekend of March.” In addition,team the needs to raise championshipabout in$20,000 St. Louisto seegoina Code Red April.to Robotics theNow, member if wearing you theshirt, red know that their goal is towell-oiled contribute tomachine this of a team. - - er UNAR g

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Atotal of eight sets made it to the final rounds. Model UN delegates attend a committee at UNAR. this task is impressive.to balance “We werethe three the thatrobots 3rd competed out team duringof allweeks Krywe. theone teamsandAs two,” thisadds was thea teamvery washard able featto torelaxKrywe pull afterrecalls off, it thatwas the over,optimists toand say, “I ontold theyou so!”team got After being knocked team out finished in 3rd. the Out of semifinals, dance,theour Code41 Red teamsteam placed the in6th overallatten after the ten qualifying matches. Alongfinish the line,way to teamthe 639 was awarded the Engineer el - - - d ower o P

M g n i April/May 2012 2012 April/May By SCARPULLA EMILY ------ramm Staff g ro P Writer

TheModel UN Club is The IHSModel United Nations Club took home a big win from theUnited Oneof the highlights of the competition is bal You’ve probably seen 11 By ALEKSA BASARA brought many people unlikely together to solve ‘14. “It’s also‘14. going“It’s to be a big part of my future be cause I plan on becoming a diplomat.” The club has UN is the best thing that ever happened to said me!” Erika Uchigasaki a major part of many stu IHS.“Modellives at dents’ and Ryan Hawthorne ‘12 received Honorable Men tions. ‘14, Kayleen Fan ‘14 won Best New Delegate. In ad dition, Chris Skawski ‘14, ence. Medeea Popescu ‘13 chaired the World Health Organization committee Liu Kupono UNAR.this at nity to running chair—meaning a committee—at the Hilton 2012 confer ‘14 got Outstanding Del egate awards. These two awards give the opportu committees, and Mark De Mark andcommittees, marest‘12, Paddy Nopany ‘12, and Emily Scarpulla Nations Association of Rochester (UNAR) awards. Conference, Tracy Lai bringing‘14 and home nine Mike Hall ‘13 both Best won Delegate in their ing one of the few teams to successfully perform to balance each of their bridge.three robots As on a thissingle all kindover the of country, competitionone can easily happened see why be ancing three robots on teamsa bridge.that attendedThere werethewere 41 randomlyevent, brokenand theseup (3intoteams teamsper sets, set). These or sets allianceshad to work together participating in qualifyingnals. rounds, and then fi who went to petition. the The comtime at up thebetween tournament practicing isand gettingdivided out any kinks, and having a good time,” explains Ian Krywe, one of the involved teachers from Ohio to New York to Canada. In a nutshell, “It is all robots competing and kids dancing House at the RochesterInstitute ogy, of and attracted teams Technol sweat, and robotics skills.competition was This held at the Gordon Field Finger Lakes Regional to show off the enduct prod of their dedication, Red members Robotics went to Roch ester, New Team York for the “What is this During the all second for?”week of March from the 8th to the 10th, the IHS Code ing out everydayschool until 8 PM. after May be you’ve asked yourself, “639” shirts allschool, aroundtalking in techweird language and hang them wearing their red 12 April/May 2012

Bounced Winter Formal a Success Chapter 7 By HANNAH GEORGE Staff Writer ments from both seniors and freshmen. “It was so good. I pretty much rocked out,” said Sylvia Despite many students’ feelings of uncertain- Estes ‘12. Another senior, Meghan Mapes, said, By KELSEY SHANG ty and skepticism leading up to the event, Win- “I think it was so successful. It was the best dance ter Formal was a clear success. Winter Formal, I’ve been to.” A group of freshman girls also had We’ve reached the point of no return: after Danny finds himself and this year also called “The Sim Redmond Jam,” laudatory remarks. “The band was good,” said Olivia in a tight situation, he resorts to selling the rest of his life in or- was substantially different from dances of years April Carroll ‘15. Rori Henderson ‘15 comment- der to support Olivia. However, after a failed assassination attempt, we past. What used to be a “grindfest” experienced ed that “it was a lot classier than past dances.” “I learn more about the darker side of the Garden. a complete transformation into a classy sit-down would go again,” said Alex Kilts ‘15, which is a dinner with live music provided by the local Sim reassuring sign regarding future dances. Uninvited. The Bookie’s mouth hung ajar in slight disbe- Redmond Band. Posters outside Mr. Powers’s What sets this dance apart from others in lief. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, this man should office in the weeks prior to the dance set dress the past is probably the reaction of teachers and have been dead, wiped away from existence. And yet, there code guidelines, which were generally followed. administrators. “I think it went great,” said Ms. stood the shade of a memory, back to haunt his wounded On Saturday, March 10, the evening at the Gray. “I think a lot of kids were exposed to a band conscience again. But somehow, the Bookie felt relieved Lakewatch Inn began early at 6 p.m. The space they weren’t familiar with and they enjoyed it. I knowing that he had another chance to escape from his helped set the mood with its high ceiling, softly enjoyed being a chaperone for the first time in former self. twinkling strings of lights, and internal second- a long time. The food was awesome. The venue “Danny– what are you doing here?” floor balcony. The first hour saw the steady- ar was amazingly decorated. I appreciate the work As Danny’s chest heaved up and down, beads of sweat rival of guests and socializing as tables ringing the senior class officers, Mr. Mellander, and Ms. trickled down the contours of his neck and stained his jacket the dance floor on both levels were claimed for McKown put in.” collar. He knew there was no point in fighting it: the urge dinner. This display of civility especially im- “I think it went really well,” said Mr. Pow- to see the journey’s end. The man stepped forward. The pressed Mr. Powers, who reportedly said, “Look, ers. “The ability to sit and socialize was new. Bookie felt his eyes cloud as the red dust from Danny’s jacket they’re talking to each other!” The second-floor I thought it was a really nice night. This is the released spores throughout the Garden and felt his world balcony also had an “open bar” which provided model we’re going to use in the future.” ingest, and almost savor, the decay. refreshing juice and soda combinations upon When asked about whether this kind of dance “Do you know what you are? You’re a con. You lure hor- request. Some students, myself included, had was a sustainable model, he replied, “I think so. rible, wretched people with glittering things, hopes even. some difficulty securing seating with friends, If that momentum builds, it’s sustainable. I think You tried to murder me. You paid me to die.” There almost but all issues were quickly and easily resolved as we got new kids who came who’d never come be- existed a condescending sneer in Danny’s throat. soon as it was announced that students would fore. We are a high school of about 1500 kids. If “And what makes you believe that you’re any better, Dan- be called to the buffet by table starting at 7 p.m. only 300 show up bumping and grinding, that’s ny? You played into the system yourself,” the Bookie stated (Amelia Kaufman ‘12, Julia John ‘13, and I end- not all the kids anyway. The dress code helped. I without wavering. “I’ll be the first to admit that I’m no saint. ed up dining with the Sim Redmond Band.) The think we still have a ways to go, but we were far But the last thing I am is a murderer. It’s you, you people. food, which included salad, pasta, green beans, better attired than we were previously.” You waste away your life accomplishing nothing. And then mashed potatoes, cornbread, rolls, and a choice In response to confusion concerning the you lay, at your death bed, wallowing and pondering of all of meat, surpassed everyone’s expectations. “The dance’s dress code policy, Mr. Powers explained, the things you could have done. Even though everything food was amazing,” said Maggie Mojo ‘15. Dur- “Cultural shifts do not take place overnight. I’m comes at a cost, I’m there providing people second chances. ing dinner, music from an iPod was played softly putting [the dance] last week in the ‘win’ col- I I thought you, above all people, would at least understand in the background. Sim wondered if the students umn. These students saw that it was okay to be that.” would dance or not, and even contemplated appropriately attired and perhaps in the future Danny felt his skin bubble, struggling to suppress the playing Michael Jackson’s “Don’t Stop ‘til You there will be less of a cultural push to find the frenzied traffic of his veins and arteries. He wanted to speak. Get Enough” if no one got on the dance floor. skimpiest outfit. This is part of a longer-term tra- Longed to speak. Ached to speak. But the words boiled up His worries were unfounded, however. When jectory. A cultural shift at school takes anywhere within his throat and dissipated into bitter foam which lingered 8 o’clock rolled around, the band began to play from 3-8 years depending on what you do. This on his tongue. There were too many unanswered questions, and the dance floor started to fill up, thought a was day one. I think it was pretty good.” things he knew would remain an enigma for eternity. bit tentatively at first. As the band played, serv- In addition to better dress and dance behav- “Shut up! You’re evil! You’ve messed with my life from the ers meandered in and out of the swaying crowd ior, the administration experienced another win. beginning!” with trays of freshly-baked cookies for dessert. “We had no suspensions for drugs or alcohol, “Danny, I’m sorry. I want to tell you, but I’m not in the This seems to have made Sim a bit jealous, since so that was a nice step forward as well, because wrong here. And I will show you.” The foam began to choke in between songs he asked the crowd how the normally, one of us goes home covered in some- Danny’s voice forcing harsh sobs from his lips. The seconds cookies were. Midway through the first hour, the thing,” said Mr. Powers. drew nearer and more short-lived. song “Save Me” was dedicated to Ms. Gray, who “We were extremely pleased collectively,” said “I never wanted you to sell the rest of your life in the first is a friend of Sim’s. The band played for a full Ms. Little. “It was nice to be able to have fun with place. I like you too much; I can’t lose you again. I know your hour before taking a break at 9 p.m., when they you all and not have to feel like we’re hovering father would have never wanted me to allow it. I promised finally got to have some dessert. During this in- over you or making you feel like you’re doing him–” The Bookie was cut short. terlude, prizes were raffled off using a random something wrong. We had a fabulous time. I And before Danny took another breath, a burly figure, number generator. Among the prizes raffled off think it was a success overall.” bristling with violent tenacity, hurled itself through the door were gift cards to Wegmans, frame. The final player had entered the game: Paul Bruce. Starbucks, and Gimme, and With a twisted smile, Bruce’s eyes turned to face Danny. the Sim Redmond Band A sickening atmosphere took grip of the Garden. “Live at Grassroots” CD. “I hurried as fast as I could after your TeleCall, Dan. It’s a After the break, the good thing you did,” Bruce licked his lips as his face twitched dance floor was packed like with a tantalizing passion. “Now, I’ll finally get that son of never before, but everyone a bitch.” There was a look of pure horror on the Bookie’s continued to dance only face. face-to-face, with the excep- “You sold me out! You sold me out!” the Bookie howled. tion of the two giant conga “You trusted him? What the hell is wrong with you?” The lines that broke out spon- seconds drew nearer and more short-lived. taneously and shifted the “Enough talk,” Bruce sardonically smirked. “I’ve waited entire dance floor. Some of this long. But now I’ve got you this time, you piece of shit.” the songs played during the With a swift, and almost rehearsed, movement, Bruce pulled evening were “Potholes,” out a pistol from his gray coat pocket. But the Bookie was “Arms Around the Sun” and the type to act on his feet. “All I Ever.” When bassist With lightning-like reflexes, the Bookie drew his gun and Dan Merwin had a solo on cleanly fired. With a dull, petrified look, Danny watched in the African drum, the en- dread as Bruce clutched his arm and fell backwards. The tire room went wild. People investigator’s pistol clattered to the wooden floor. The red- were dancing in a frenzy ness began to bloom and spread quickly from in between his and jumping to the irre- fingers. The investigator coughed, squeezing his shoulder sistible beat. In one word, tighter and tighter. From the corner of his eye, the Bookie the dance style can be de-

disappeared into the same dark familiarity that the three scribed as: Grassroots. The PHOTO/SARAH STRUPP-LEVITSKY men knew so well. evening ended promptly at Danny bent down and began applying pressure to Bruce’s 10 p.m., which seemed for wound. In a prideful gesture, Bruce roughly shrugged him off many all too soon. As the with a look of fitful annoyance. room started clearing out, “Get away from me.” Bruce withdrew a TeleCom from his the band was coaxed into side and began to dial. taking a picture with some Without any further thought, Danny picked up the fallen of the guests most reluctant pistol, aimed, and fired. It was enough. The end was near. to leave. The Sim Redmond Jam Read the next chapter in the June issue of the Tattler! received very positive com- Students dance to the Sim Redmond Band at Winter Formal. hr 7 pol cud opt idvdal o eg at ergs on individually compete could people 75 where competition, worldwide a was This University. Boston at stadium hockey the Arena, Agganis the in indoors held was race the year, This there. from rapidly grew race The ergometer. improved and new the using competition, ing row a with months winter the up break to but decided then themselves, amongst competed they first At games. 1980 Olympic the boycott of to chose U.S. the number after 1980, a in athletes by started was Has-Beens” Star come. to races the for waiting C.R.A.S.H.-B, called for a regatta Boston to carpools in drove Club Boat said. honor. All-Star an with home came also Eldredge 15-18. lost they where finals, national the into it them.” with work and teammates your know to have definitely you and involved strategy of lot a is There bruises. legs serious some opponents’ you give your can other and each your against crushing horses Two-thousand-pound can. they as hard as you into slamming changed never that names with sport. horses, the of history the full-grown throughout actually are ride they that “ponies” the polo, with familiar well.” as plays sister my and kids were they since played both have They coaches. also mom my and Cornell at polo of life. her all polo known has who ‘13, Eldredge Emma student IHS including backgrounds, all from players has team website. their to according 1992, since times 13 women’s whopping a national the title win ning for known team, school high Forest Garrison the against notably most victories, many to and girls team, the led school has high the coaches also Eldredge David coach Women’s polo IHS. attend Cornell whom of six C.R.A.S.H.-B, originally meaning “Charles River All All River “Charles meaning originally C.R.A.S.H.-B, Cascadilla the of members several 19, February On “I definitely hope to play polo at Cornell in college and I hope to continue polo even after college,” Eldredge college,” Eldredge after even polo continue to hope I and college in Cornell at polo play to hope definitely “I toForest make Garrison against 18-17 year, this winning ofsuccess aseason had has team interscholastic The horses have you because painful very be also can It game. fast and intense very “It’s a that, stated Eldredge aren’t who those For there. facilities the as well as University, Cornell by provided ponies polo uses team The I when was born,” “I to basically polo was introduced said in an Eldredge “Myinterview. dad is the coach head school high the origins, its of man’sbecause rich sport English an being for reputation a has polo Although students, team of school high an interscholastic running team has polo been For 20 the past Cornell years,

PHOTO/PROVIDED IHS poloplayers(fromleft)OliviaBarton,EmmaElderedge,ElenaWicker andBryannaKing bringhome A t By JULIA JOHN JULIA By C h asca lete I ntersc di F lla eature

By SIENA SCHICKEL SIENA By B h All-Star honors. olast oat - : : with friends from other teams as well.” as teams other from friends with reconnect to nice really a was it as and individuals, exposure and club for opportunity great a was “It perience: the ex Market the up summed ’13 Quincy Pritz Molly race. the in before night dinner pre-race nice a got tour. They a given were and Men’sBoathouse Harvard the at house open an attended They there. were they while ton vision. di under” and “18 the in 9th placed ’12 McNicoll Olivier Notably, well. very did and mid-afternoon and morning the throughout 20th the on raced CBC of Members gan. be races the groups, into organized Once kilome length. in two ters were Races times. two-kilometer-race and age both by groups into divided were Athletes time. one E

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U l d p d re ate dg e , ------Also, for the baseball lovers, this this baseball! lovers, more means baseball the for possible. Also, also are pos 1997, been since not sible had which league, their in record two best the the with teams between matchups sible; pos are format, team four division, the der un same possible been never the had which from two teams between matchups However, anyway. advanced have wild would card first the before ad when not vance, and wildcard, second the to lose may be wildcard first the unfair, cause is format new the be that would before. argument was opposing it The than system better the be will whether about dis are putes there sport, major any to a like continue postseason. normal will it point, After this advances. winner play the playoff, where will one-game a in teams other each two These postsea son. the in chance a wild and a card awarded be divi each their will in sion records first get best didn’t the who The with teams wildcards. two two be will there regular record. best season the with league in each team a remaining the to was awarded fourth was wildcard The winner. the wildcard and their in place division, first National the were playoffs; three the the to and advanced League) League Amer ican (the conference each from a playoffs. teams or postseason the more in play to chance allow will new The format will year. this place in postseason put be Baseball League By CASHEL STEWART STEWART CASHEL By With any dramatic change made made change dramatic any With changes, new the with Now, teams four years, previous In Major the of format new A P C ostseason h MLB an g Staff Writer Staff es

------14 April/May 2012 Cashel’s Corner Tiger Back on Track

By CASHEL STEWART Staff Writer

It had been years since Tiger Woods had an official win when he won this weekend. Since the sexual scandal in 2009 that rocked his career and soured his reputation, Tiger had been struggling. To review the scandal quickly, in- formation leaked out of Tiger sleeping with many different women; this lead to him breaking up with his wife and taking a break from golf. So much has transpired since then, so much negativity and upheaval and injury, that many wondered if this day would ever come. Woods won for the 72nd time in his PGA Tour career with a hard-fought final round at the Bay Hill Club & Lodge, where he won by 5 strokes. This win could provide momentum that gets him back on track. It was the Arnold Palmer Invitational that Tiger had won six times before. Unfortunately, Arnold Palmer had to leave midway. The 82-year-old left due to a blood pressure issue, but Tiger got all the congratulations he needed from his loyal fans who stayed with him through the hard times. This win was the first step in a hopefully full recovery of Woods. However, one thing everyone must understand is that Tiger will never reach

a climax again; he’s 36 and will most likely never dominate like he did a de- PHOTO/PROVIDED cade ago. And yet, Woods is hitting it farther and straighter. He led the field in greens hit in regulation at Bay Hill with 57 of 72. So don’t count Tiger out in the Master’s; he’s still a real contender. He’s already won it four times! Some of his main competition includes: Rory McIlroy, Luke Donald, and Phil Mickel- son. Tiger would have always been in the run for the green jacket, but this win made it seemingly more likely. I’ve never been a fan of golf, but I’ve always been a fan of Tiger. Tiger Woods is back on top.

Wacky Sport: Bossaball Wacky Sport: Worm Charming By CASHEL STEWART Staff Writer

The sport of worm charming, also known as worm grunting and worm fiddling, is very simple. Each competi- tor gets a patch of ground and a certain amount of time to bring as many worms to the surface as they can. Competi- tors can use just about any method they wish, but most methods include some sort of vibrating the ground, as this en- courages the worms to the surface. One of the first worm charming events took place at Willaston County Primary School in Willaston, Cheshire. The original rules for the competition were written there by then-headmaster John Bailey in 1980. It was then that the

PHOTO/PROVIDED World Worm Charming Championships were held. Some rules of the British and Bossaball is enjoyed by kids and adults alike. European Federation of Wormcharmers include a plot no greater than 3 meters By RUBIN DANBERG-BIGGS Staff Writer house with the walls and roof taken music is often played while players by 3 meters, a five-minute warm-up pe- off. A volleyball net is placed in the perform flips and acrobatic dances to riod, a three-person team of charmer, This year’s Super Bowl once again middle, and in the area right in front the delight of the crowd. Surprisingly, catcher, and counter, and the rule that broke the record for most watched of each side of the net, there is a tram- an entire Bossaball court can be as- that all worms must be returned to the television program, breaking last poline embedded in the inflated play- sembled in under 45 minutes, making ground after the contest according to year’s record. But besides football, ing surface. it somewhat more practical than other the British Association of Worm Length there’s a new sport for America to fall Teams are made up of five players sports. Supporters (BAWLS). Devon Worm in love with: Bossaball. Invented in but are allowed substitutes. Players are Whatever your interests, you can- Charming Festival, Canadian Worm Belgium about ten years ago, Bossa- allowed to touch the ball twice with not deny that Bossaball is just an in- Charming Championship and Festival, ball has become wildly popular in their bodies but only once with their credible idea that we should all try and the American Worm Gruntin’ Fes- Brazil, the Netherlands, Spain, Roma- hands as they pass it around, eventu- at some point. Despite being very tival are three current events associated nia, Ecuador, and Singapore; it’s not ally hitting it over the net to the wait- strange, elaborate, and kind of ex- with worm charming. too surprising, as this may be the most ing opponent. One player will often pensive, Bossaball is an international The current world record was estab- amazing sport ever invented. Ever. stay on the trampoline so that other sport that is great for everyone. With lished on June 29, 2009 by 10-year-old Bossaball is a mix of soccer, vol- players can hit the ball to them and its combination of thrilling acrobat- Sophie Smith of Willaston, England leyball, gymnastics, trampolines, and they can leap above the net and spike ics, exciting competition, and good who raised 567 worms during Britain’s awesomeness. The entire game is it. As if this sport could not get any music, Bossaball is definitely one for World Worm Charming Champion- played in what amounts to a bounce better, salsa becomes involved: salsa the bucket list. ship. write email [email protected] Quiz: Summer Plans Only two months left! Time to start thinking about your summer plans. Take this quiz to find out how you should be planning to spend your summer.

By ANNELISE RAYMOND and NAOMI RAYMOND e. War 9) Which of the below APUSH extra credit proj- 1) What kind of books are on your bookshelf? 5) What would your Native American name be? ects would you do? a. Romance novels a. Whispering Bird a. Get your friends to join you in a debate be- b. Sci-fi novels b. Wise Oak tween the Federalists and the Anti-Federalists, c. Do-it-yourself instruction books c. Dancing Water modeling the Continental Congress d. Adventure books d. Running Sky b. Make a simple computer game with General e. Picture books e. Stargazer Custer chasing the Indians c. An essay about how Wilson’s Fourteen Points 2) What’s one food you wouldn’t mind eating ev- 6) Which iPhone app would you download? could have achieved world peace ery day? a. Twitter d. Play octopus tag with your class, imitating a. Chobani yogurt b. Team Umizoomi Math WWI b. Grapples c. Milkshake Maker e. Why bother? c. Kale smoothies d. iMap My Run d. Clif bars e. Sleep Cycle alarm clock Which letter did you get the most? e. Ice cream Mostly a’s: You should get a summer job, per- 7) What’s the most treasured thing that you’ve haps at Wegmans or CTB. You’d be great working 3) Which of the below awesome houses would kept from elementary school? with customers! you most like to live in? a. Your valentines Mostly b’s: You should look into an internship a. A longhouse b. The electric motor you made in 4th grade for this summer. You could shadow a doctor at b. A glass house c. The Native American story project you made the hospital or help with research at the Cornell c. A hippie Volkswagen on a piece of parchment (crumpled-up paper tow- plant science lab. You love learning, so do what you d. An igloo el) love! e. A hollow tree (like Piglet in Winnie the d. Your soccer ribbons Mostly c’s: You’d have a great time as a summer Pooh!) e. Your book review of Captain Underpants camp counselor! Meet new people and spend some time outside. 4) It’s game night with the family. Which game 8) What would you prefer as a party favor? Mostly d’s: Stay active this summer by setting a gets your vote? a. Cell phone accessory stickers goal for yourself that keeps you moving. Build a a. Therapy b. A Rubik’s Cube clubhouse or bike to Washington, D.C. b. Trivial Pursuit c. A locally made peace sign necklace Mostly e’s: Spend your summer relaxing. Sleep c. Life d. Water balloons in; meditate in your hammock. Take some time to d. DDR e. Fun Dip sugar sticks enjoy life and the beautiful summer weather.

Mindbenders

1. Road trip time! You’re going 300 miles and want to average 60 mph. 4. You are trapped in a 50 x 50 x 50 foot room whose bottom is magically At the halfway point, you realize you’ve only been going 30 mph (oops). suspended 100 feet above the ground. Two 50-foot ropes are cemented to How fast do you have to go for the rest of the trip to average 60 mph? the ceiling of the room, a foot or so apart. There is a window in one corner of the room with a strong hook cemented to the floor. If you had 100 feet 2. Quick! You’re in your windowless, concrete, watertight bathroom of rope, you could tie one end to the hook and use the rest to lower yourself locked in from the outside. Your bathtub is filling with water and the tap is to the ground. Unfortunately, you can’t just climb one of the ropes and cut broken; you can’t turn the water off! How do you stop yourself from drown- them both down — the 50-foot fall would kill you. As a matter of fact, you ing? can only survive falls of up to 10 feet. The ropes are sturdy, but only just able to support your body weight — if you cut one of them in half length- 3. How many times should you flip a regular coin if you want a 50% wise (to make 100 feet of rope), it would snap. You have a sharp knife and chance of getting 3 or more heads? are good at climbing ropes and tying knots, but that’s it. How do you get to

the ground alive?

from the loop and pull the rope through the loop. Tie your rope to the hook and descend through the window. the through descend and hook the to rope your Tie loop. the through rope the pull and loop the from

hanging on to the top; tie the end of rope 2 to the free end of rope 1; you now have 90 feet of rope! Making sure to thread it through the loop, climb down down climb loop, the through it thread to sure Making rope! of feet 90 have now you 1; rope of end free the to 2 rope of end the tie top; the to on hanging

still attached to the ceiling; tie the bottom of rope 1 (which is around your waist) to this loop. Move over to this loop and cut all of rope 2 from the ceiling, ceiling, the from 2 rope of all cut and loop this to over Move loop. this to waist) your around is (which 1 rope of bottom the tie ceiling; the to attached still

4. Let’s call the ropes 1 and 2. Tie the end of 2 around your waist and climb 1. Cut 1 off at 10 feet from the ceiling, and make a loop with the part which is is which part the with loop a make and ceiling, the from feet 10 at off 1 Cut 1. climb and waist your around 2 of end the Tie 2. and 1 ropes the call Let’s 4.

the symmetry of a coin: 50%. coin: a of symmetry the

3. Only 5! You are guaranteed to have 3 or more heads OR 3 or more tails (how could you not?), and the probability of either is equally like because of of because like equally is either of probability the and not?), you could (how tails more or 3 OR heads more or 3 have to guaranteed are You 5! Only 3.

2. Pull the plug and let the tub drain. tub the let and plug the Pull 2.

1. You’d have to teleport. If you averaged 60 mph, you’d take 5 hours to go 300 miles. 150 miles at 30 mph is 5 hours — all the time you have. you time the all — hours 5 is mph 30 at miles 150 miles. 300 go to hours 5 take you’d mph, 60 averaged you If teleport. to have You’d 1. Answers:

Have a good riddle? email [email protected] BREAKING NEWS: A GRIZZLY TALE You need no horoscopes or advice this month; all of you with- closed door. Not wanting to interrupt, and having a hunch that Bad Regular out honey are thoroughly doomed. Those with honey will not listening in would provide me with some answers, I quietly fare much better. walked up and stood next to the door. A voice, unmistakably Decision Results I had told the foolish young backpage editor not to mess the one of our own Mr. Powers, floated through the doorway. with the power of the stars with his flippant horoscopes, but he Only, it was deeper and more rough-sounding. only laughed at me. All throughout the year he had been toying “Growl, growl. Snort. Honey is delicious. I am a bear.” with fate. But last month, I knew the Gemini horoscope would ...wait, what? cause trouble: “Have you ever wondered if all the IHS teachers And then, Mellander (I thought, though it was hard to Smart Board could possibly be disguised grizzly bears?” It seems the editor tell): did not understand the ability of horoscopes to retroactively “Snort. Grumble grumble. Hungry. Sleepy. The discrimi- Recalibrations change the past. But he learned...oh yes, he learned... nant of a conic section is b squared minus four a c.” I first became suspicious of the staff back in October, when I barely resisted calling out “nerd!” and contented myself they seemed to be acting strangely – but I didn’t quite know with a little smirk. I didn’t have time for that, though, as I sud- what it was. There was something. Perhaps they hadn’t warned denly realized. us about safe sex often enough. We had missed the first day of Now, everything made sense. The drought of torturous as- Black Licorice school; that was something. Could they really be this lax about semblies in Kulp was connected to the weather. I’m not that holding us captive in this “school without walls”? Regardless, familiar with bear physiology, but perhaps the lack of winter I knew a fishy scent when it wafted into my open nostrils, so I weather stopped them from getting their peaceful hiberna- put on my detective clothing and began jotting down notes. tion sleep, throwing off their internal clocks. That seems like What could have caused such low morale among the staff it makes sense. There was more, too; I did remember, at one that they did not even care to torture us with hot, unnecessary point, seeing a picture of Mr.Mellander in his youth. I didn’t Balancing lectures in Kulp? There had been only one, as far as I could re- think much of it at the time (my detective hat must not have member, the Path of Success Lectures; and that only for fresh- been on right) but it did look suspiciously like a bear. I should Equations man and sophomores. Could it be connected with Ithaca’s try to write the horoscopes next year; the ability to rewrite the non-winter this year? Maybe. Maybe not. I still couldn’t be universe would no doubt come in handy. certain about anything, and it was quite frustrating. With only I raced back home to record the incident; I didn’t think I a pitiful attempt at an assembly as the school year faded into had been caught, but just in case I wrote down the back page November, I was becoming increasingly flustered. Why, what, editor’s address and dropped it outside the office, hoping they Review Books when, how? I didn’t know anything. I continued like that for would go check it out and be thrown off my tail. No doubt several more months, until late March. Then I worked up my you’re wondering: why do I know his address? Why, if he were courage to ask someone who I knew would know what was investigating, would he leave his address on the ground? Stop going on: Karl Mellander. Mellander is the advisor for the IHS asking difficult questions. The logical capabilities of a bear are Ultimate Frisbee club, which shows the combination of his two pretty low. I left a picnic basket, too, to stop them from think- Sbtrkt predominant traits: love for the power of youth and love for ing too much. No, I won’t tell you how I had a picnic basket. I flying discs. Both indisputably qualify him as a hippy, so I was felt a little bad about putting the editor in danger, but not too sure he would help “fight the establishment” and tell me what bad; he’s kind of a jerk. was going on if I asked him. I have succeeded; the newspaper knows of the danger. I only It was a clear and chilly, though definitely not snowy, hope they can stop the impending disaster. Honey Wednesday afternoon when I went to stop by the math of- The bears are coming. fice. I had been making up a test after school (having missed Editor’s Note: the writer of this report is unknown; it was sent that Monday fruitlessly trying to further my investigation) but to us from Mr. Zax’s email account but is not his work. We are hoped the Commander, as he is affectionately called by his fel- unsure of his present location, but one thing is certain: HE IS low hippies, would still be hanging around. Being postponed NOT IN THE SCHOOL. At the time of printing, bears suspected Zou Bisou Bisou that afternoon may have been the biggest favor God will send of his kidnapping are being monitored. If you have any informa- my way. tion regarding this, please come to the Tattler office in H-Court- I would have walked straight into the office, but I heard a yard. If you are a bear, please report to the new leper colony in soft, rather grumpy discussion happening through the almost- Activities. Weejuns

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