Like a Musk Deer

Like a Musk Deer କସ୍ତୁରି ମୃଗ ସମ - [Translation of selected chapters from ManmohanChoudhuri’sautobiography . ] Translation by:Dr.R. Kalpana Research Assistant, GandhigramCreche and Children’s Project Department of Lifelong learning and Extension, Gandhigram Tamil Nadu. Email: [email protected] MEMORIES OF INFANCY How far can my memories take me back to my childhood days? All the faint memories that are floating in my mind are of which year? Ma, Gopiama, and Nuama were rocking me on their arms in turns. I was crying for something and Kuna apa was trying to console me saying see, see how the birds are flying. I can remember seeing through the window the red sky of the evening. While sleeping with my mother at night I was wetting the bed. Kantha aja was narrating us stories like “Bala Jhamphuri” I was listening to the stories with a mixed feeling of fear and interest. Grandmother was playing cards with Nalia ma and other ladies in the inner veranda. I was sitting on her lap. Perhaps I was 1 to 2 years old that time. I was told that I cried a lot when my aunt Benga Apa was getting married and I was continuously shouting - go away, go away. The fact that I was disturbed and angry because Benga Apa was going away made everyone very alert. But I do not remember that ...I remember when Benga Apa used to return from her mother-in-law’s place from Chaudakulat and when she was going by the horse cart to Mahanadi’s Jobraghat. Those days the steamer service from Kendrapada to Cuttack was the only fast transportation system. While returning home I sat on Benga Apa’s lap. In the eastern side of the front yard of our double storied building there was a tall and thin Gangasiuli tree. Sometimes flowers scattered under the tree and it seemed as if somebody had made “alpana”. Gula Apa and others used to call this flower Singadahara. After plucking the flowers we used to enter them on the broom sticks and make flower sticks. The arrangement of white flowers and orange stick looked beautiful and we liked the fragrance of the flower also .There was also a Kamini tree. Its flower tasted sweet. Marigold and small red and yellow kusum flowers also blossomed in the garden. Flower garlands were woven for grandmother’s puja room. In the southern corner was found the (Gangetic) Berry tree. During the winter the fruits were raw and very few were ripe. Many mango trees were seen adjacent to the compound wall. Among the trees there were two grafted trees. I do not remember mangoes getting ripe. The well, situated in the middle of the campus was surrounded by a round raised platform and a water tank. There were red fish inside the tank during my grandfather’s days. I had not seen those fish. For our entertainment my mother had kept variety of fish inside the tank. The inner courtyard and the outer garden were our first grazing ground. Just attached to the garden was the front yard of Annapurna Didi’s two storied building. In the south eastern direction was a “Boula tree. The ripened boula fruit looked very attractive. Many children ate those fruits. Our grandmother had advised us not to eat those fruits because it causes constipation. Without listening to her we ate those fruits. Within the campus some grasses grew in small space. Annapurana Didi’s children used to collect insects for their myna bird. The grass was full of white, red, and purple flowers. Opposite the double storied building there were four rooms in one line. One was the milk room, where milk was boiled and snacks items were prepared. Other two store rooms were filled with utensils, pickles, snacks and vegetables. Back of those rooms was the kitchen and in another corner was a room for the husking pedal. The cowshed was situated at the eastern side of the kitchen. Grandmother’s room was situated at the middle of the ground floor. The large room belonged to my mother. There was another room that was always closed. It was a secret place. Father’s room was situated at the first floor. All the beds were made of timber wood. The mattresses were made out of coconut coir. Whatever I had seen in my childhood has been engraved in my mind. The book shelves were very full. The middle room seemed to be big. Now all the rooms are small. All the children kept their play things on the stairs. There was a competition among the children on who will jump how many stairs. For some days guinea pigs were kept on the space under the stairs. In grandmother’s puja room there were some religious books and photos of Gods and goddesses. Grandmother spent a lot of time there in the mornings and evenings. From our colony a priest known as Gangadhara Nana came home to perform puja everyday. One of his hands was burnt. One bell rang during the evening arati. Our grandmother called us to get the fragrance of the incense sticks. She offered us “Prasad” consisting of banana, cucumbers and cottage cheese. When I was 4-5 years old, after observing grandmother’s puja room I arranged some deities on the cot and performed some puja. I remember that there was a small brass bell. I performed puja by offering flowers on the diety and ringing the bell. When I think of my early childhood, I remember more about my grandmother but I do not remember much about mother. I spent more time with my grandmother. She carried me on her arms, fed me and made me sleep beside her. I have not seen my grandfather. He passed away before I was born. Balakrishna grandfather visited our house occasionally. He was working in the Dept. of Education at Dhenkanal. Dhenkanal is situated in central Orissa. Sometimes he stayed in our house upstairs when he wanted to do break journey while travelling to his village. Every morning he spent a lot of time in doing puja . He had a big moustache like my grandfather. I imagined as if he was my own grandfather. My grandmother taught us the names of our forefathers by changing the first letters of their names because in our community ladies were not allowed to utter the names of husbands and other elderly persons. When I think about my father during my early childhood, I remember that he sat on the cot upstairs and taught us prayer, to draw and write alphabets. I had a toy car and my father played with me. During the summer afternoons we played with father in the large room upstairs. All the doors and windows used to be closed. The light that passed from the narrow passage brought an upside down reflection of the scenery outside. It was fun to see the upside down picture of people and vehicles travelling on the road. Father tried to explain to us the reason for the reflection being upside down. During the summer night I spent with father on the open roof. He tried to make me familiar with the stars and constellations in the sky. See, the three big stars in the sky that one in a row that is the belt of the constellation “Orion” The stars which looks like a triangle is known as “Mrigasira” Mrigasira – The 5 th constellation of the Zodiac. Similarly I remember some names of the constellations. I was able to identify only a few stars. In our neighbourhood everyone was familiar of the peculiar sound of my father’s loud sneezing. When he sneezed everyone in the neighbourhood heard the sound and all the doors and windows seemed to shiver. My mother’s sneezing was just the opposite; she sneezed very silently like a cat. I remember my mother’s face of those days. For some days she wore a nose ring, a very thin gold necklace, and bracelets on her wrist. Mother narrated stories to us during our bed-time. She taught us riddles and showed us how to write alphabets on the slate. My sister “Chuni” slept with my mother. Sometimes when I was stubborn to sleep by my mother, she allowed me to sleep beside her. A glimpse of the freedom movement I am thinking of the years 1921-22. My father left his job. There was meeting on the bank of kathjodi river.Foreign clothes were being burnt near the road. During 1921-22, for the first time my paternal uncle (Nabakrishna Choudhury) unfurled the national tri-colour flag on the roof of our house. Those days the upper portion of the flag was white, middle was green colour and the lower portion was red colour with charkha in the middle. Some of us stood on the roof. Below Umakantha Babu’s family members were also observing. I heard from people that unfurling our flag is considered as sedition, and a person may have to undergo six years imprisonment. Those days I did not understand the meaning of sedition but I understood the meaning of jail. I had a sense of pride to think that people in our family were courageous to act in such a manner. I also clearly felt that Umakanta Babu was ahead of the entire incident. In 1921 Gandhiji came to Cuttack. A meeting was held on the back of the river. I think I did not go to attend the meeting but my uncle accompanied by many youth (students) left early in the morning to clean the roads and the river bank.

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