FRIDAY, 5/15/20 SERIES: Choosing Faith Over Fear Speaker: Nat Crawford (w/Arnie & Cara) Title: Joseph Pt. 3

So Joseph reunites with his brothers. He is in power. He has his chance to execute justice. But his response shows his humility and dependence upon God. That is a mark of a faithful person. Listen to what he says to his brothers. It’s scandalous. Genesis 45:5 (ESV) “But don’t be upset, and don’t be angry with yourselves for selling me to this place. It was God who sent me here ahead of you to preserve your lives. 13-15 13 Go tell my father of my honored position here in Egypt. Describe for him everything you have seen, and then bring my father here quickly.” 14 Weeping with joy, he embraced Benjamin, and Benjamin did the same. 15 Then Joseph kissed each of his brothers and wept over them, and after that they began talking freely with him.” He embraced his brothers. He forgave them. He wept and kissed his brothers! Only one, who sees himself rightly, and understands the love and forgiveness of God, can forgive others so freely. He could have responded in fear to his brothers. He could have exacted revenge upon them, in the fear they would abuse or manipulate him again. That would have been a very natural response. That would have been understandable, but it wouldn’t have been faithful. It would have been a decision to choose fear over faith. But not Joseph. He did the right thing for the right reasons. He was dependent upon God. This made him faithful. Friends, when I think of all the sins I have committed and all the ways I have been forgiven by my enemies, my friends, my family, my dear wife, and of course, God – I have no option but to forgive. Forgive often. Forgive freely. But then, why is it so hard to forgive others? Why is it so hard to forgive as Christ forgave us? Well, I think some hold back forgiveness because they’re afraid of being hurt again. They fear that if they forgive, they open up the opportunity or the permission to be hurt again. That’s not what forgiveness does. I remember after speaking to a group of healthcare professionals on the topic of faith and forgiveness, a woman came up to me visibly angry. She said, “I will not forgive that person who hurt me. They hurt me. So I will never forgive them. That’s their punishment. Me, I’m fine. But their punishment is my bitterness toward them!” I asked the woman, “So how is it working? Are you happy? Are they miserable?” She got big-eyed and then began to breathe heavily and squinted. “They’re dead. And I’ll just keep hating them.” And she stormed off. Two things struck me about that exchange. First, she was like so many others who thought that bitterness was a pill that would hurt the other person, but it was killing her long after the person was gone. It’s like hitting yourself with a bat and expecting the other person to bruise. Secondly, this teaching I had done was held at a church. It was an unusual space to conduct training like this, but that’s how it worked out. That same lady the day before commented about how much she loved this church. It was her church. It broke my heart. She had been around Jesus probably quite a bit, but his words weren’t received. Jesus said, “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matt. 6:14-15). That passage does not teach us that our salvation is conditional upon our behavior. Rather, it teaches that when we experience the forgiveness of sins through Christ, we have no reason to withhold forgiveness. We have no reason to choose fear. We can and should have a posture to forgive freely in faith.

DISCUSSION: N: So forgiveness is a tough subject. Both receiving forgiveness and giving forgiveness can be a struggle. So I'm turning to our discussion partners, Arnie Cole and Cara Whitney, to ask, why do you think so many Christians struggle with forgiveness?

C: When you're hurt, you want to hurt others. You want them to feel what they made you feel. A: So for me, forgiveness is really a big thing. I remember, probably 17 years before I became a Christ follower, we had been up all night partying, and I was just turning the channels, and here was this lady named Dale Evans. And she and her husband Roy had a television show, Roy Rogers and Dale Evans, but she was a strong Christ follower. And she said something that really stuck with me all these years. She said, you know, the biggest reason why people can't come to Jesus is because they can't forgive themselves. You know, maybe I just felt so bad from the all night partying and all that, but that really stuck with me. I can't forgive myself to approach Jesus. And that was just a kind of an eye opening thing. And it wasn't like the next day I became a Christ follower. It took 17 years. So I think a lot of us have trouble forgiving ourselves for our mistakes.

N: And there's no doubt that Satan will use that to deter you from living on mission for God. He'll bring up your past and he'll bring up things that make you feel like you can never be forgiven, that you can never move on, that your sins really were too great. And that is a lie from the pit of Hell, that completely deters us from the mission of God. Okay. So we do struggle with forgiving people. We struggle with forgiving ourselves. But you know, I think about that story, about the woman who was holding on so tightly to her bitterness, and yet she knew the truth. She had been around the truth. And it's easy to judge her from a distance. But the reality is, I think we can be a lot like her. We fail to see the obvious. So why do you think that we struggle with this? Seeing the obvious and doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result?

C: Well, I think a lot of people think that they're not doing anything wrong. You know, it goes back to what I said, you know, you start comparing your walk to somebody else's, or your life, that you probably don't need as much grace, or maybe you feel like you're [ Pride.] Yeah, pride. You're spiritually winning because you're doing everything you think you're supposed to be doing. You know, I know that some people, who don't feel like they deserve grace, are people who feel like they need to clean up their life first, before they can come to Jesus. I came to Christ first, and it was almost like all of a sudden, I realized all of the things. And that was, I had to work through that, because even though I knew I was forgiven, you're right, Nat. Satan comes and he tries to lead you to believe that you're not saved, or that you were too far gone. And one thing about Satan is, once he gets a shovel full of dirt on your head, he's just going to keep shoveling.

A: And you know, we do a lot of field work, all over the world, research. And one of the most interesting things that comes up to me is, and it's very, very prevalent, this feeling that I have to get myself right. Before I can even go to church, before I can even step in the door of church, I've got to get myself right. And it's just Satan is the greatest deceiver of all. N: He is the father of lies, and he will continue to spread lies where he knows that they are effective, and Christians are unfortunately, they are subject to that as well. Well, all of us in this room have been hurt or betrayed in various ways. How has your relationship with Christ helped you have a posture of mercy and grace? A: I'm a work in progress. I'll turn that over to my sister Cara.

C: Well, I'm a work in progress. You know, when you've been hurt, and will continue to be hurt by people, whether it's someone spreading rumors, or bad business deals or whatever, you just have to extend grace or not take it personally. I know that I really struggled a few years ago. There was just some crazy rumors going around. And I just, I wanted to defend myself, because some of the rumors were just so bizarre, but I'm really glad I kept my mouth shut, to be honest. Because I notice that years later, when none of the rumors came to fruition, like none of it was true, I really feel like God, in a lot of ways, will protect your reputation, that the people who are maybe spreading them, you'll cross paths with them. Or I think what's really hard, is when stuff like that happens within the Christian community, I think to me, that's the hardest to forgive. It's, I struggle with that, but you know, you just have to be Biblical about it. I mean, you kind of have a way to deal with confrontation. Mostly just keep your mouth shut, because you don't want to lose your testimony. Because if you do, Satan wins, and God will protect your reputation in a lot of ways. So if you're doing things Biblically and above, you know, above the board where you're supposed to be.

----- So if you’re struggling with forgiving someone, it’s time to let it go. Stop hitting yourself with the bat expecting the other person to bruise. Forgiveness never means permission to be abused or hurt again. But what it does is frees you from your own internal pain and releases them to Christ. Peter said to cast all of our cares to Christ, because He cares. Let it go and forgive. Reject the fear and embrace faith. But maybe you’re not struggling with forgiving others. Instead, your struggling with forgiving yourself. Perhaps you are burdened today with the guilt of your past. You cheated on your spouse. You gambled in the investment, and now your retirement is gone. You lashed out again to your child or spouse. You chose fear over faith. Whatever it is, because of your past sins, you feel unworthy of forgiveness. Friends, if this is you, join the club. Scripture tells us while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Christ died on the cross so you might have forgiveness. He died so you can live.

If you have made Christ your Lord and Savior, you are forgiven. Let go of the past. God has.

If you today have not experienced divine forgiveness, and want to let go of your past and your sins, God is waiting and willing to forgive. The Bible says to repent from your sins – that means turn from your sin and turn to Christ. See and believe that Christ is your only hope. Jesus is God in the flesh. He came to this Earth. He suffered and died. He was buried and was raised again. If you believe this, not just intellectually, but believe this with your whole being, you can have peace with God and the forgiveness you’ve always longed for. That’s faith. And that means no more fear.

Joseph was a man of character. He did the right things for the right reasons. He was faithful. He was dependent upon God, and because of that, he thought of others more than himself. He was able to forgive others.

You see, Joseph forgave his brothers. He was reunited with his father and family. And all the while thought of others more than himself. In chapter 41, it says Joseph used his talent to prepare for the seven years of famine, so he gathered all the food and stored it. Let’s see what the result was. Chapter 47, verses 13-14.

Genesis 47:13-14 “Meanwhile, the famine became so severe that all the food was used up, and people were starving throughout the lands of Egypt and Canaan. 14 By selling grain to the people, Joseph eventually collected all the money in Egypt and Canaan, and he put the money in Pharaoh’s treasury.

Joseph could have taken the grains and sold them while holding some money back for himself. He could have used the grains for self-consumption or for use only for royalty. Instead he took his stored resources and distributed them. He sold what he had and gave all the profits to Pharaoh. Joseph was a man of faith. He would continually choose faith over fear. The people thanked and praised him accordingly.

Friends, each day we have a choice to make: fear or faith. When we choose fear, we look at the grace we’ve been given, and we hoard it for ourselves. We take the talents, the treasures, and the time that God has given you, and we say no to God and no to those around us, so we can say yes to ourselves. When you do things the right way for the right reasons, when you are dependent upon God, you recognize all that you have is by God’s grace. When you know you’re a daily recipient of God’s amazing grace, how can you not become a grace-giver like Joseph?

One of the ways we can choose faith over fear is by becoming grace-givers to the world around us. Pastor and author Kevin Harney would suggest this is by having a heart open to embrace and engage people who are different. He writes, “some Christians withdraw from the world and retreat to a life cloistered away from everyone who is not part of God’s family. Some take this sad pathology a step further and will only associate with their particular brand of Christianity. This was never the way of Jesus, it does not reflect the heart of God, and it certainly fails to communicate his grace to the world”. I think Harney is right on the money.

But, you may be thinking, if I go and spend time with those people, won’t they think I endorse their beliefs or their lifestyle? It might be important to remember that Jesus didn’t compromise love for truth. Because love embraces truth. Jesus spoke love, forgiveness, truth and correction to the woman caught in adultery in John 8. He showed her great compassion, but he also said, “Go and sin no more.” So we don’t have to compromise. But, you may be thinking, if I go spend time with people who are different than me or people who aren’t saved, we’ll be rejected by our Christian circles. You’re afraid of being rejected by those in your church for your outreach. Well, Jesus knew that some would never understand spending time with sinners. Jesus had the reputation of being a friend of tax collectors and sinners. For Jesus, that was a badge of honor. Maybe we should do the same thing.

N: So Cara and Arnie, what are your takeaways from Joseph's life and his choices?

A: To me, he's an unbelievable guy. I don't mean that in like, I can't believe it. It's like, wow, what a hero. What a guy. And you know, I imagine being his brother, you know, I mean first you would go to, Oh well he was born that way. You know, like how if your brother's smarter than you, or more of an athlete, that resentment. But what a tremendous guy, and just, it's one of my favorite stories in the Bible.

C: Well, I know he was a sinner, because he wasn't perfect, but man, what an awesome testimony. And I know there's people who have testimonies like that, that they have a life where they, you know, walk with God, and they're faithful their whole life. You know, a lot of the people on our board are like that. But I mean, I wish I had that. I think some people struggle, if they have a life like that, that they don't have a good testimony.

A: Yeah, me too. N: One thing I walk away from the story of Joseph is, though the circumstances are pretty unique, and in some cases pretty extreme, the reality is his story is still our story, right? He was just an everyday person. He did struggle with sin, though we don't necessarily know what his struggles were. We know he struggled with sin, and he faced trials of various kinds, it's exactly what James One said, that we will experience as believers. So the uniqueness of the trials, you know what? Those were pretty peculiar, but we all face them, and the key is how we respond. He kept choosing faith over fear, and that's what God is asking us to do today. What would you suggest to our listeners who are struggling with being grace-givers or grace- bearers? They've been hurt so much or experienced maybe a lot of scarcity in their lives, but as a Christian, they know they're called to give as they've been given, just like Joseph. What advice or coaching would you give them today?

C: Have you ever watched that Seinfeld episode, where George Costanza does the opposite of everything that he would normally do? So his reactions in what he does, he just decides his life is unsuccessful, so he might as well just do the opposite, and then things really start clicking for him. When I came to Christ, I was just such a jerk, that I decided I would live like George Costanza, and I would respond the opposite of every way that I would normally respond in the past. And it worked. I mean, it was a good way to go, to just start. You know, for me, I use humor a lot, but it did work. I mean, I'm going to respond the opposite, and I would get good results, because every way I was living before Jesus was not working. So do the opposite.

N: But that's exactly what God calls us to do, right? He says, we are a new creation, so we're not supposed to live in the flesh. We're supposed to live in the Spirit. And that's what you began to do.

A: You have a choice. You have a choice to be bitter and live your life accordingly, or you have a choice to step out in faith. And I think it helps. It's easier for me, because I tend to forget. It's very hard to be bitter if you can't remember what you're bitter about. So I use that, to not hang on to bitterness. Maybe some would even say to a fault, but really, it's just a conscious choice you have, how you live your life for Jesus.

N: That is great coaching and advice for our listeners. Before we close, I found this church that has the mission or it was a value of: We reach the lost at any cost, except sinning, of course. And I love that. I thought, man, what a great posture to do evangelism and outreach. You'll do anything to make sure you're scattering seed and water, short of sinning. And then when I think about it, that's a lot like what Christ did for outreach. I mean, he was willing to go to the people who were down and outers, the people that no one wanted to be around. But I notice as a pastor, that a lot of people in the church struggle with this. They really don't like talking about Jesus' method of outreach. But I know you guys have a different posture. So how would you coach people who maybe are resistant to going and spending time with those who are different than themselves, or who are the down and outers, but they need Christ so desperately?

C: Well, broken people are my people, and they're Jesus' people. And the realization that everyone is broken, and the only one, who can put us back together again, is Jesus. And so I would say, that if you realize that you're a broken person too, that even though life is going along pretty good for you, and you've always been faithful, that you're still broken. And other people are maybe more broken, but still broken. Those are Jesus' people.

A: Yeah. And I think living inside the Christian bubble, you have to be very, very careful.

N: Well, what do you mean by that, Arnie? What do you mean by, be careful? A: I don't want to get in trouble here, because I do believe in the body of believers in the church, but living inside it, where everybody is cultural Christians, and you don't have anybody who's not a nonbeliever, who you associate with, by and large, I think is very problematic and not Biblical, even though it looks extremely good.

N: I think a lot of people struggle with that and it has been the trend for some time, unfortunately. Missionalist Alan Hirsch, he talks about the movement of God, the Gospel, spreading like a sneeze, right? That when we sneeze it, it blasts out. I mean, it's very relevant for today, right? And so what are we doing? We're wearing masks. That's kind of a great picture for what we've done as Christians. We've allowed the sneeze to be contained, and it goes no further than our Christian bubble, as you just said. But we must never forget the words of Christ. Go, go therefore, and make disciples of all nations. We as believers, we're not called to a monastic lifestyle, but we were called to be disciple-making disciples. So do not be afraid of those who are far from God. Yes, be wise in how you live, be wise in how you interact. But we must be willing to go, because that is what Jesus commanded us to do.