It was my friend, Howard by, who first talked me into starting my memoirs. It is largely his fault, as well, that I have dwelled upon myself for not just one, but two books that make up this tome that is my life. Because I pledged to myself that I would always keep my eye on the facts and would not be carried away with any “bull”, whatsoever. I have kept the famous saying by the tennis player, John McEnroe, in mind throughout: “The older I get, the better I was.” Today, in spite of all the ill winds that circulate among businesses, I am in my seventieth year with no financial worries and am relatively healthy to boot. This results from my lifetime habit of hard work, long hours, and continual challenges as I have made sure that I am providing well for my family. Has it been worth it, what do I have to show for it besides the material comforts? Was my life a success? So finally, I would like to see us play on the same EVERYONE’S side together, family, friends and world. After all, everyone’s a mate! A MATE BY (AND ABOUT ONE)… FRED MAYER EVERYONE’S A MATE By and About One FRED MAYER Copyright © Fred Mayer 1998 PREFACE All rights reserved. This book is copyright. Other than for the purposes and subject to the conditions prescribed under the Copyright Act 1968, no part of it may in any form or by any means t was my friend, Howard Roby who first talked me (electronic, mechanical, micro-copying, photocopying, Iinto starting my memoirs. It is largely his fault, as well, that recording or otherwise) be reproduced, stored in a retrieval I have dwelled upon myself for not just one, but two books that system or transmitted without prior written permission. make up this tome that is my life. Because I pledged to myself that I would always keep my eye on the facts and would not be carried away with any “bull”, whatsoever, I have kept the famous ISBN 0 646 35504 X saying by the tennis player, John McEnroe, in mind throughout “The older I get, the better I was.” Cover photograph from PIX magazine First published by his family and friends, in honour of his 70th birthday 19 May 1998 2nd printing May2008 Published through Wild & Woolley Member: Australian Publishers Association / Publish Australia 1 Moore St Vaucluse NSW 2030 Australia Designed, printed and bound in Australia Printed on acid-free, archival paper 3 CONTENTS Preface 3 ONE: Shelter In The Dark Significant Trees 8 The Moving Begins 16 Travelling Toward Uncertainty 32 Jeep To Juba 48 Palestine: A Very scary Place 69 So, We Left 93 Back Home in Post-War Hungary: 1947 l 02 Typhoid Freddy 124 TWO: Shelter In The Light G’day, Mate 154 Setting Sail: 1956 181 Continental Tucker 222 Call Me Father Freddy 234 My Father, Samu (1887-1967) 25l Heeere’s, Sami! 258 Dissolution, Delusion, Divorce, Resolution 280 My Sister, Rene (1923-1979) 287 New Partners: Sons, Woman, Boat 295 Food, Glorious Food 312 My Mother, Germaine (1901-1995) 323 The Last Vomit 330 The Last Seventy, The Next Seventy 336 5 ONE SHELTER IN THE DARK SIGNIFICANT TREES 6 7 8 Everyone’s A Mate Shelter In The Dark 9 Some families can trace tall family trees, hundreds of years old. grandfather, who died of prostate cancer at age seventy-nine The peak of my shrub consists of my grandparents on both in 1928. His wife, my grandmother, preceded him in death sides. But our history, though short, will be, I hope, of interest a few years earlier. to my children and theirs. My father and mother met in Hungary and married there My grandmother, Rose Solomon, came from Mayen on June 20, 1922. Germaine was twenty-one, and Samu, on the Mosel in Germany, not far from the French border. thirty-five. My sister Rene was born on June 30, 1923, and My grandfather, Wilhelm, was born in Fehermegye, a country I followed on May 19, 1929. Before he met my mother and town in Hungary. Rose and Wilhelm met one another in Paris had a family, my father served in both the Balkan War of 1910 on the fourteenth of July in the 1890s. The young German and in the First World War. His experience in the latter proved girl danced with the handsome Hungarian fellow during turbulent. He entered the Austro-Hungarian Army and was the usual street festivities on this national holiday. Eventually, sent to the Russian front in 1914, immediately after the start of they married and had a child, my mother, Germaine. the war. Since he had not completed his army training, he went The three lived in Paris until Mother was about five, at which time in as a private, though I have no doubt he had “the stuff ” of they moved to Hungary. Rose and Wilhelm died in Portugal when a leader. In those days and right up to the Second World they were both over ninety-years-old. War, only men who possessed matriculation certificates were My father, Samu, was born in Budapest, Hungary, and eligible to become officers. They enlisted in the service of his father, in the Ukraine – probably Odessa. The Ukraine was the Austro-Hungarian Army as “volunteers”, were quickly an area where, due to the rulings of the Catholic and Russian promoted, and served only one year before they were released Orthodox churches, many pogroms existed for killing Jews from commitment. long before Hitler was ever heard of. My paternal grandfather’s Lest one think less of my father, Samu, for not having family name was Feigelbaum, and my grandmother’s surname on his certificate, let me explain that graduation did not mean that side Wasserman. Both families hid their identities though necessarily the same thing as now. While most children went because under the right-wing government in power between to government schools, there were private institutions available. the two world wars, it was dangerous if one’s Jewish father The latter conducted their own exams and automatically or grandfather were Russian or Polish. passed everyone who paid. These institutions served two My grandfather was conscripted into the Russian army to types of clientele: children who were slow or lazy and could fight the British and French during the Crimean War. He did not not pass the government exams, and men who had left school have an obvious stake in the conflict and somehow managed to early, made money, were conscripted into the army, and had get into a military hospital in Bessarabia. Eventually, he escaped to obtain their matriculation certificates quickly so they could and went to Hungary with his wife. There he changed his name become privileged leaders. Since my father did not believe in the to the German MAYER, though I do not know why he did war in the first place, and had no intentions of killing anyone not choose one of Hungarian derivation. They produced my (he was always proud that he had never killed a single person father, Samu, who would prove one of the strongest and most while serving on the front lines), he did not want to be an officer important limbs on our family tree. I never knew my paternal – simply a private. 10 Everyone’s A Mate Shelter In The Dark 11 His tales about the war were fascinating. Recruits from My father’s revenge came the next day. The Catholic Bishop Vienna and Budapest, along with others who were either of Budapest visited the hospital, stopping at each soldier’s bed. Bosnian or peasants from various countries, made up his unit. When he came to my father’s side, he asked if he wanted to pray. The latter two groups comprised the wildest and best soldiers in Samu said, “No. I am a Jew; but I would like to ask a question. the Austro-Hungarian Army. The Viennese and the Budapest Is it a sin for a religious young soldier who is gravely injured soldiers were simply too civilised and intelligent to be good but not dying to ask for confession?” fighters, so all units of city regiments were supplemented with The Bishop replied, “Certainly not.” some of the really tough fellows. But even the roughest and So my father told the Bishop the circumstances of the strongest soldiers had problems sometimes. For instance, once previous night. The latter went to the young soldier’s side, in the Carpathian Mountains, Samu’s unit attempted using prayed with him, took his confession, and then told my father, a mule cart to carry ammunition up the mountains, but the four “Don’t worry about the priest” That very day, the disagreeable mules pulling the vehicle were so rambunctious that none of priest was sent packing to the front lines. A new, more affable the peasants could handle them. When one man was actually clergyman replaced him. trampled and injured, the sergeant, who didn’t like “city boys” or In 19I6, Samu and his regiment were positioned in a valley Jews, named my father as replacement-driver of the ammo cart. in Kirlibaba. All senior officers were absent behind the front lines, Samu, who had never dealt directly with mules, studied them. and the officer in charge was a young, inexperienced captain. He concluded that their problem was hunger. A hungry mule was He recognised my father as a friend of his dad’s. The patrols a feisty mule. The animals had been offered only the fodder of reported that the hills encompassing the valley were filled with cavalry horses, which they refused to eat.