sign in sign up
<<
Home , Brad Stuart, Brent Sopel, Brett Lebda, Brian Rafalski, Cam Barker, Dale Tallon

$3 Electric Yellow’s Got Us By The Brain Banana $3 The Committed Indian The REal Fan’s Program secondcityhockey.com May 22nd, 2009 [email protected] ON THE WINGS OF MAYBE “The best nights of our lives go by it, as it’s the only part of play he even comes Hawks come out tight like they have in almost and yet here we are alone and blue.” Not to close to struggling with, i.e. the speed game. every other home playoff game. That would go overboard on Zeppelin lyrics, if there can The Hawks were much better at it on Tuesday be death tonight, and is simply not an option. be such a thing, but that’s pretty much how night, and will have to do the same tonight. If Mean Gene Okerlund Were Here we felt on Tuesday night when Campbell made Another aspect of Game 2 we liked, Last series, we made a big deal of that pass. We didn’t need to watch the ensu- and we’ll have to repeated and/or upped “testicular fortitude,” and really, isn’t that ing 3-on-1, we knew what was coming. It was tonight, is they were the more physical of the what playoff hockey comes down to? Maybe like watching the bullet headed for your heart teams by some margin. The Wings looked that Game 2 loss was too devestating for any in slow motion. It hurt because the Hawks, a little short of energy at times on Tuesday, team to bounce back from, and maybe the save for two turnovers in the Wings zone, had and one way to ensure even a chance of that Hawks feel they’ve gone as far as they can go. pretty much done everything right, and we’re happening again is to make those bruises and But do you really believe that? This looking the more likely winners. The Hawks sores are just a little worse. is a team that lost two games in , have turned into that weirdo in high school Fad Or Trend? facing the first must-win of their careers in you only saw by the bathroom and always The word running around our heads the case of a majority of the team, and blew wore black, and had strange scars on their tonight is “maybe.” The quote that got us the Flames out the building. This is the team arms. Yep, the Hawks are cutters. thinking was Wings coach de- that was two minutes away from being down So while the rest of the hockey world scription of ’s lack of jump in Game 2, 3-1 and headed back to , while pronounces us dead and makes hotel reser- saying they had no legs whatsoever. Maybe having scored one in 117 minutes, and vations in Detroit for Games 1 and 2 of the that was just a one-game thing, and the drop then potted two in the next four to turn that Finals (boy, there’s a prison sentence), Hawks of adrenaline from a series opener to a Game series on its head. This is the team that was fans should be infuriated and yet hopeful 2 was responsible. And maybe Hawks’ blood down 2-1 in Game 5 in Vancouver, and then because it is the Hawks who have sewn the being in the water leads to a ravenous bunch dominated the rest of that game. This is the seeds of their own desruction in the first two in spoked wheels, and no team is better at team that trailed three times in Game 6, and games of this series. The Wings only need sniffing that than Scum. Or maybe it’s a scored less than two minutes later all three the slightest crack in the door to go charging trend, and that fatigue and relief we saw in the times. When asked to show their balls, the right through it, and you have to admire that Anaheim series wasn’t all a mirage. Hawks have done it every time. Is there any about them. The only Wings goal this series, Maybe a frothing gets reason to think they won’t now? And really, other than the empty-netter, that wasn’t the the Hawks out to even a better start, provid- are you prepared to watch the Cubs bullpen direct result of a Hawks mistake, was Rafal- ing them with a two or three goal lead instead go to the zoo or the Sox play defense as if ski’s power-play goal in Game 2. Everything of just one. Maybe the Wings, figuring they being attacked by bees full-time? Yeah, we else has been been derived from a doofus- only need one of the next two, don’t fight all didn’t think so. Hope lives here. turnover or a groin-grabbingly bad defensive that hard to overcome a deficit in Game 3. Or -For Big Mikey decision. If those stop, perhaps the Hawks maybe the tension gets to everyone, and the have every chance of making this a series again. But maybe the Hawks aren’t capable of the perfect game. “Maybe” will be a continu- ing theme. Those aren’t the only problems, though. We know how Coach Q loves to get matchy-uppy, but we’re not sure it has a place in this series. It may have led to a confused change and a too-many-men in Game 2, and has caused its share of loss of rhythm. We understand the need to get your stars away from Lidstrom and Rafalski, but they play half the game. And even if you can avoid Detroit’s top pair, which one of the Wings Top 9 forwards would you describe as defensively weak? Take your time...still can’t think of one? Yeah, exactly. There isn’t one. Not ev- eryone can play against the 4th of Detroit. So no matter who you’re out there against, you’re facing defensively responsible play- ers. Toews and Kane are just going to have to raise their game, which each looked to be doing in Game 2 -- more so Toews, obviously. When faced with Lidstrom, the only thing you can do is chip the puck past him and go get Pierre McGuire prepares to cover a Red Wings game FROM THE EDITOR

Comiskey Park. It’s underrated as a place to watch a game. The food is I’m probably not going to live through this series. As most of fantastic. Almost the entire crowd is passionately into the game. Yet, it’s my regular readers know, my distaste for all things Red Wings is at an un- the only place I’ve repeatedly see grown men getting in heated arguments healthy level. I’ve even become Public Enemy #4 over at SB Nation’s Red with 12-year old children they don’t know who are in Cubs garb. Wings blog, Winging It In Motown. Apparently, I’m Seriously, you’ve won a World Series, you a whiny, bitter moron, and I can’t say I disagree with have one of the more fervent fanbases around, in a that. great place to watch a game. And yet I feel a lot of And it is childish. Let me say that it is ut- Sox fans check to see if the Cubs lost last night before terly impossible for me to ever love a woman as much they check to see if the Sox won. Confuses me, it as a I hate the Wings (or the St. Louis Cardinals or does. Manchester United, for that matter). You could drop a But then again, I’m probably trying to put a hockey-obsessed Victoria’s Secret model with a PHD rational coat on something that is by nature irrational. and the same drinking problem and downright danger- Being a sports fan is not ever going to live in the same ous obsession with Axl Rose that I have, and I still neighborhood as being a responsible human being. wouldn’t be able to generate the same amout of emo- We invest all this time, emotion, money, and perhaps tion for that woman as I can against Detroit (though if health into something we have no control over. Worse you know a woman like this, my email address is on Sam Fels yet, we do things to make us feel like we have a hand the front page, as I’d sure like to try). Needless to say, in what’s going on on the ice or field. How many I need help. of you have a strict playoff routine? Wear the same I have to say though, the total humorless-ness of the Red Wing clothes or drive the same way to the UC or listen to the same CD at work faithful is astounding. They generally can’t laugh at themselves, and are on gameday? I bet you do something. Those of you have seen me have stunned the rest of the hockey world doesn’t worship at their feet. It makes noticed I haven’t shaved in close to six weeks. I look like a mental patient. no sense. New York Yankees fans revel in the fact that everyone hates And act like one. And smell like one, probably. I’m getting closer and them. They love it. Now that they have two titles, so do Red Sox fans. closer to looking like this guy in the picture. They’d prefer it. Yet Wings fans can’t get on that ship. I don’t get it. But then again, maybe, when you look around at what’s going I find it the same as White Sox fans, in that it’s a mindset I just on in the real world these days, perhaps it isn’t so silly to distract yourself don’t get. Here’s an admission that will probably cost me a few readers, in the sports world. Whatever, we know what we signed on for, and we but I’m a die-hard Cubs fan. But I don’t hate the White Sox. I’m indiffer- wouldn’t change a thing. ent. But the attitude of their fandom just passes me by. I love going to *late game not included

Eastern Conference Western Conference

#1 Boston #1 San Jose BOS (4-0) ANA (4-2) #8 Montreal #8 Anaheim CAR (4-3) Scum (4-3) PIT 2-0 #3 New Jersey #2 Scum CAR (4-3) Scum (4-0) #6 Carolina #7 Columbus

#2 #3 Vancouver WAS (4-3) VAN (4-0) #7 New York #6 St. Louis Scum 2-0 PIT (4-3) HAWKS (4-2)

#4 Pittsburgh #4 HAWKS PIT (4-2) teams re-seed after first round, with HAWKS (4-2) #5 Philadelphia highest remaining seed playing lowest #5 Calgary remaining.

TOP 10 LIST PUCK DROP

Pavel Datsyuk- Center, Detroit: You’d have a better chance of getting the nuclear launch codes out of The White Top 10 Things You Should Know About Detroit, MI House than finding out the 10. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! IT’S A FUCKING SHITHOLE WHERE health status of an NHL player during the playoffs (though ONLY THE DAMNED LIVE, FULL OF PEOPLE WHO WORSHIP we’re pretty sure Obama FUCKING KID ROCK AND EMINEM FOR GOD’S SAKE, AND YOU changed those launch codes to “cubs suck.”). However, Dat- ONLY GO THERE IF YOU WANT TO VOMIT IN PUBLIC AND NOT syuk has not looked himself in the past two rounds, being HAVE IT NOTICED! SERIOUSLY, PRISON WOULD BE A BETTER just a step slow. That’s not to say he hasn’t been effective, which is what’s so impressive about him. He has such VACATION, AND EVENTUALLY IT MAY BECOME A PRISON ISLAND hands and vision that he can still make things happen in the JUST LIKE AUSTRALIA!! PEOPLE GO TO FUCKING WINDSOR, offensive zone, and his positioning so strong that it doesn’t matter that me might get there a half-step slower than TO ESCAPE, WHICH IS LIKE GIVING YOURSELF HERPES normal. He’s always right where he should be. Because of TO GET RELIEF FROM HIV! THESE PEOPLE GENUINELY CEL- that, he can still use his hands to cause turnovers and break up play after play. Here’s another reason why annointing EBRATE LIGHTHING THINGS ON FIRE, BUT IF YOU GO THERE, the best player in the league is such a farce, YOU’LL WANT TO BURN IT DOWN TOO! as Sid isn’t anywhere near Datsyuk’s level in the defensive zone. Datsyuk’s nomination for the Lady Byng is kind of silly, because this guy definitely takes his shots when the refs aren’t looking. We hate his guts, he always kills us, but you have to admit he’s one of the best players you’ve seen. scourge of Western Canada

0-2 (Playoff stats) We’re sure the boo-birds will be out for Phantom after his grievous error in , but before you give your vocal chords a stretch, remember that Campbell probably has been the Hawks best player in the playoffs. Also remember, as

The Fifth Feather pointed out, that he was there for every media member to find after the game, and they, and we, can sult in a chance for us, not them, okay? think of a lot of Hawk “leaders” who would have disappeared (rhymes with ). Soupy is a high-risk, high- Hey, Brent, when we win a face-off in their zone, it’s supposed to re reward player, and yes, that pass is best left to 1st and 2nd periods, but we hope his confidence to make those plays hasn’t been shattered, as the Hawks will need it to get back in this. # Pos Player Ht WT AGE GP G A P +/- PIM PP SH GW S S% Salary (Cap Hit) 24 R The Perfect Beard 6' 2" 217 27 14 5 9 14 0 8 0 0 1 34 14.7 $6,000,000 88 R 5' 10" 187 20 13 8 4 12 -8 12 2 0 0 31 25.8 $3,725,000 19 C Marvel 6' 2" 209 20 14 6 6 12 0 26 4 0 2 37 16.2 $2,800,000 32 L VerStud 5' 10" 180 22 14 4 8 12 -3 8 3 0 0 20 20 $491,667 51 D 51 Phantom 6' 0" 188 29 14 2 8 10 3 0 2 0 0 23 8.7 $7,142,875 7 D 6' 3" 220 23 14 1 9 10 0 10 1 0 0 28 3.6 $3,500,000 10 L The Sharp-Shooter 6' 1" 197 27 14 5 4 9 0 2 2 0 1 36 13.9 $3,900,000 36 C Fabulous Weapon 6' 0" 188 22 14 4 5 9 0 20 1 1 1 25 16 $845,833 33 R 6' 3" 247 23 14 3 5 8 -1 22 1 0 0 36 8.3 $3,000,000 25 D 6' 3" 213 22 14 3 5 8 -1 0 0 0 0 27 11.1 $2,768,587 37 R Adam Burish 6' 1" 189 26 14 3 2 5 4 26 0 0 1 21 14.3 $712,500 2 D 6' 1" 194 25 14 0 5 5 1 6 0 0 0 20 0 $1,475,000 16 L Mountain 6' 2" 198 23 14 2 1 3 4 12 0 0 1 25 8 $1,550,000 26 C Samuel Pahlsson 6' 0" 204 31 14 1 2 3 -4 2 1 0 0 9 11.1 $301,000 55 L 6' 2" 220 24 14 1 1 2 -1 31 0 0 1 $13 7.7 $568,000 22 R Troy Brouwer 6' 2" 213 23 14 0 2 2 -1 10 0 0 0 18 0 $675,000 8 D Matt Walker 6' 3" 214 28 14 0 2 2 -4 10 0 0 0 10 0 $600,000 4 D Super Nintendo Jalmers 6' 2" 200 21 14 0 1 1 -1 4 0 0 0 7 0 $643,000 46 C Colin Fraser 6' 1" 188 23 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 $500,000 *injured

Totals/Averages 6' 1" 203.4 24.16 48 79 16.0/g 17 1 30.0/g 11.4% $41,198,462 - We’re still waiting for Kris to get the memo about being smart with the puck. We love his bravado and the belief that he can always make a play, but in a series where every turnover can lead to lethal injection, VerStud simply cannot be as ponderous with the puck as he’s been.

# Goalie HT WT AGE GPI Min GAA W L OT SO SA GA Sv% G A PIM Salary 39 6' 1" 209 36 14 841 2.85 8 6 0 0 397 40 .899 0 0 0 $6,750,000 38 6' 1" 205 33 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 $5,625,000 Totals/Averages 6'1" 207 35 841 2.85 8 6 0 0 30.1/g 40 .899 0 0 0 $12,375,000

TOTAL CAP NUMBER: $57,283,000 CAP SPACE: $274,000* Probable Lines Probable Pairings *space also affected by buyouts and injured players Left Wing Center Right Wing 2 Keith 7 Seabrook 22 Brouwer 19 Toews 33 Byfuglien 51 Campbell 4 Hjalmarsson Injury List 16 Ladd 36 Bolland 24 Havlat 8 Walker 25 Barker - Questionable (Talent) 32 Versteeg 26 Pahlsson 88 Kane 10 Sharp 37 Burish 55 Eager

Committed Indian T-shirts.... scum 2-0

These jump up by a combined 8.5 million next year, and Samuelsson just might be the casu- but most have come on the PP, and he’s just even at 5-on-5.

alty, which is fine with us. (Playoff stats) Hossa did have 5 shots in Game 2, and 15 the last three games, # Pos Player Ht WT AGE GP G A P +/- PIM PP SH GW S S% Salary (Cap Hit) 93 L Johan Franzen 6-2 210 29 13 9 9 18 11 6 3 0 1 43 20.9 $1,150,000 40 C 6-0 190 28 13 7 9 16 12 4 1 0 0 45 15.6 $2,900,000 11 R Daniel Cleary 6-0 211 30 13 6 6 12 14 4 0 0 2 30 20 $2,500,000 5 D Nicklas Lidstrom 6-1 190 38 13 3 9 12 9 6 2 0 1 40 7.5 $7,450,000 51 C 5-11 202 24 13 0 9 9 7 4 0 0 0 20 0 $2,000,000 26 L Faggy McFagFag 5-9 178 24 13 4 5 9 3 6 2 0 1 24 16.7 $1,150,000 37 R 6-2 211 32 13 5 3 8 5 4 0 0 2 57 8.8 $1,200,000 81 R Marian Hossa 6-1 210 29 13 4 3 7 2 4 2 0 1 64 6.3 $7,450,000 13 C Pavel Short-Bus 5-11 185 30 13 1 6 7 4 9 1 0 0 47 2.1 $6,700,000 23 D 6-2 220 29 13 1 5 6 5 10 1 0 0 23 4.3 $3,750,000 55 D 6-0 185 27 13 1 4 5 3 10 1 0 0 20 5 $3,000,000 96 R Tomas Holmstrom 5-11 185 35 13 2 2 4 -1 14 0 0 0 14 14.3 $2,250,000 28 D 5-10 195 35 8 2 2 4 8 11 2 0 1 13 15.4 $6,000,000 52 D 6-4 206 25 13 1 2 3 7 17 0 0 1 22 4.5 $203,000 22 D Brett Lebda 5-10 195 26 13 0 3 3 5 4 0 0 0 11 0 $650,000 43 C 5-11 172 22 13 2 0 2 -1 4 0 0 0 21 9.5 $103,000 82 L Tomas Kopecky 6-3 205 26 8 0 1 1 0 7 0 0 0 13 0 $525,000 18 R 6-0 190 36 10 0 1 1 -2 2 0 0 0 3 0 $950,000 8 L 6-1 215 22 5 0 1 1 0 0 0 0 0 7 0 - 33 C 5-10 190 37 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 4 0 $1,850,000 24 D Judas 6-1 190 46 4 0 0 0 -1 2 0 0 0 2 0 $750,000 14 D 5-11 185 24 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 $475,000

* injured Totals/Averages 6' 2" 206.1 27.7 22 40 21.6/g 9 0 29.4/g 11.0% $55,235,000 Datsyuk didn’t practice yesterday, and is questionable for tonight.

# Goalie HT WT AGE GPI Min GAA W L OT SO SA GA Sv% G A PIM Salary

Ok, all the Cleary-has-revenge-on-Hawks stories have to stop. Cleary was AWFUL here, stories have to stop. Cleary was AWFUL Ok, all the Cleary-has-revenge-on-Hawks batted an eye when he was shipped same thing, an no one and he would tell you the exact up on him? Edmonton and Phoenix, who also gave he also giving some get-back to Is off. 30 5’ 10” 178 35 13 824 2.04 10 3 0 1 374 28 .925 0 1 2 $1,700,000 29 6’ 0” 184 33 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 $750,000 Totals/Averages 6' 3" 215 29 13 824 2.04 10 3 0 1 28.7/g 28 .925 0 1 0 $2,450,000 TOTAL CAP NUMBER: $57,436,00 Probable Lines CAP SPACE: $370,000 *space also affected by buyouts and injured players Left Wing Center Right Wing Probable Pairings Injury List 5 Lidstrom 28 Rafalski 93 Franzen 40 Zetterberg 11 Cleary -Questionable (Foot) 81 Hossa 13 Datsyuk 96 Holmstrom 55 Kronwall 23 Stuart Andreas Lilja- Questionable (Concussion) Tomas Kopecky- Questionable (Face) 26 Hudler 51 Filppula 37 Samuelsson 52 Ericsson 22 Lebda 43 Helm 33 Draper 18 Maltby

...ARE HERE!!!!. CHECK SECOND CITY HOCK- EY.COM FOR DETAILS Bulletin Once again, our intelligence indicates that this pox on our city and talentless fuckstick just might try and latch on to the bandwagon tonight. However, reports from the lab indicate that if no one looks at him, and no cameras at him in the arena, he very well might implode. So please, do not make eye contact, and direct any tv personnel away from him at all costs, and we may be finally rid of this plague. The Fight Card HAWKS vs. WINGS Fight Stats provided by Hockeyfights.com

GAME FIGHT TIME Bloody Black Bruised Just Analysis Nose Eye Ego Dancing 4-2-08 Wiz v. 2nd. Lot of haymakers thrown, few land. Downey Downey 9:43 √ on points. 11-11-07 Sharp v. 2nd. Sharp with one of his few, but always suc- Kopecky 16:23 cessful, forays into the fisticuffs. Takes it in √ a decision 10-12-07 Burish v. 1st. Burish takes on all-world prick, lands a Drake 19:47 couple jabs. Drake does the same thing he √ does with wife, i.e. punches while opponent is prone. Draw 10-6-28 Wiz v. 1st. Wiz lands some heavy shots. Drake again Drake 6:10 √ √ waits for wife-position. Wiz in KO.

What To Watch For: Pfft. Fat chance. You’d have a better chance at seeing a Wings fan succesfully read a book than a fight in this series. Scum are too smart to risk any momentum changes, even if they had someone who was willing to go. Plenty in the stands though.

Power Play Penalty Kill

Team Opp PPG PP% Team TS PPGA PK% CHI 57 17 29.8 NJD 29 2 93.1 ANA 50 13 26 CAR 58 6 89.7 VAN 44 11 25 BOS 27 3 88.9 DET 60 15 25 PHI 32 4 87.5 CBJ 13 3 23.1 VAN 51 9 82.4 WSH 52 11 21.2 NYR 33 6 81.8 PIT 70 14 20 CHI 51 10 80.4 SJS 24 4 16.7 PIT 51 10 80.4 BOS 43 6 14 WSH 65 13 80 PHI 30 4 13.3 ANA 55 11 80 NYR 31 4 12.9 SJS 23 5 78.3 CAR 50 6 12 STL 18 4 77.8 NJD 27 3 11.1 MTL 16 4 75 CGY 18 2 11.1 DET 46 13 71.7 STL 24 1 4.2 CGY 24 7 70.8 MTL 8 0 0 CBJ 22 7 68.2 Spotlight Danger: Red Wing Crossing

When we look back at this era, we may decide that we were lucky to see the Red Wings power-play, containing an amount of tal- ent perhaps not seen since the 80’s Oilers. The thing is, the Wings know how good their power play is, and will pretty much do anything they can to get the man-advantage. They dive, the bitch, they dive again, they goad after whistles more than anyone mentions, and they dive again. You need no more example than Game 2, where Toews’s trip on Kronwall that led to they tying goal was an absolute joke. But the Wings might be the only team that get the NBA star treatment, and clearly they never just fall over, at least in most refs’ eyes. took the first hooking penalty in recent memory that never involved a stick within a foot of the opponent. Franzen drew a call in Game 1 with a Louganis-like performance. Worse yet, they get the other end, too. Holmstrom got away with a spear in Game 1, and in Game 2 Kane was high-sticked in the face, and Havlat hooked on the hands, and nothing. Mere minutes later was the Helm-Bolland joke. However, we can’t blame the Wings. They’re only doing everything it takes to win. It’s maddening to see, but it’s part of the game because the NHL refuses to do anything about it. We’ve seen two diving penalties at the UC all year. Two. In 41 regular- home games, and six home playoff games. Players will dive because it works. When you see it, it’s usually a coincidental with another infraction, which is a total cop-out. However, the more severe you make diving penalties, the more refs will shrivel from making them, whether it cancels out the other infraction or make it a major. It’s here to stay, we’ll just have to get used to it. The Committed Indian is printed by Royal Omega Graphics- Elk Grove, IL 847-952-8000 [email protected] KNOW THY ENEMY

We are once again delighted to find the one Wings fan who can Haha. I’m guessing that’s not something he discussed with GM Ken read and come up with a cogent thought, Christy from WingingItInMo- Holland. I think we’re all surprised with the lack of offense from Dat- Town.com. syuk and Hossa. Your two big leaders in offensive numbers have been held off the board for most of this postseason. I’m not really sure what’s So, guess we should start looking for priest’s to perform the last up with Hossa either. He played such an important role for the Wings rites, eh? Or do you feel there’s still much to be done? during the regular season and the Wings would not have finished in that Until the Wings win a game in , there is still much to be done. second seed in the Western Conference without his consistently clutch Until the Wings win four, there is still a lot of work ahead of the team. goals. After he was a beast for Pittsburgh last year in the playoffs, I I know quite a few Wings fans are getting a bit cocky and it’s way too must say I am really surprised that he’s been held scoreless in all but two soon to call this series. For Detroit’s sake, I hope this series doesn’t go games this postseason I believe on much longer, but I had predicted it to go six games before the start of the series. I do believe Detroit will advance to the next round, but I The PK is still a problem, and might not cost you this round, but think that Chicago will be much more of a problem for us next postsea- could in the next one. What’s been the major issue? son when they have a bit more experience under their belt. That’s not to To be honest, I don’t know why their PK has struggled like it has this say I wasn’t worried about this Hawks team, I was and I am. However year. Obviously, taking dumb penalties does not help your team, espe- as good as they are this season, I think they’re just going to get even bet- cially with the poor PK stats. The Wings have now allowed a goal while ter next year assuming GM can keep some of those veteran on the penalty kill in each of the last 11 games. That’s not too encour- guys around. aging. There are so many strong two-way players on this team and the Wings obviously have some great defensemen so I don’t understand why Of course no one knows for sure, but is there a fear in Detroit that the PK can’t be more successful. It would seem like the team has all Datsyuk might be hurt? He hasn’t looked his normal self. the pieces in place to succeed but just can’t for some reason. According Initially, fans were not fearful that Pav was hurt. However, as time goes to Kirk Maltby, the team works on it in practice, holds meetings to talk on and his surprising lack of offensive production continues, there defi- strategy, and the guys are certainly giving it their best while on the PK. nitely is a growing fear that there may be some type of nagging injury The puck just isn’t going their way for whatever reason(s) there may be. with Datsyuk. Obviously, we don’t know if there actually is anything wrong with him, but it would make sense. We’re just hoping that he’s We’ve heard lots about Darren Helm, what’s the ceiling on this guy? not actually injured and he’ll start scoring soon. I don’t think we’ll see Darren Helm evolve into a finesse, fancy stick- work type of guy like Datsyuk. He likely won’t become a sniper like Has anything surprised you in the first two games? Hossa either. Bob Duff of the Windsor Star made a great comparison on Head coach Mike Babcock mentioned this in a press conference and I’m Wednesday -- he likened Helm and Justin Abdelkader to Kris Draper and going to have to agree -- I thought Game 1 was going to turn out like Kirk Maltby. Helm’s speed and strong skating does seem reminscent Game 2 ended up. Instead we had a more dominating Detroit team come of Draper’s and his physicality is certainly an asset on the ice. I think out with plenty of energy in Game 1, but Game 2 the Wings looked you could see him creep up to the second line down the road when the pretty dead and it was experience, will, and some well-timed Chicago coach is trying to fiddle with lines, but I see him as a strong forechecker, turnovers that resulted in the win. I guess I expected the series to be tied , grinder, speed skater, whatever you want to call him on the third 1-1 heading back to Chicago, but as a Wings fan I’m happy that we have or fourth line. And you need and want those types of guys so we’re the two-game series lead before hitting the road. definitely happy to have him. It’s weird because he actually has more playoff goals than he does markers in the regular season. Admittedly When Hossa signed for you, did he mention he wanted to join a he didn’t see much action in Detroit during the regular season due to the team where everyone else would win the Cup for him? Or was that , but that still seems crazy to me. a surprise?

Hawks-scum: the Last 4

May 19th, 2009: Hawks 2, Scum 3 (OT) May 17, 2009: Hawks 2, Scum 5 A minature version of Game 1, but an absolute A familiar story to come. Hawks crap lighting in heartbreaker. Hawks are everywhere in 1st, but go first, and then proceed to shotgun blast all their toes in tied thanks to garbage call on Toews. Take some with turnovers and blown defensive coverages to al- of second off, but do everything right, except for low Wings through the door. those two little turnovers.

Apr. 12th, 2009: Scum 0, Hawks 3 Apr. 11th, 2009: Hawks 4, Scum 2 In season-finale, Hawks come out firing to go up A meaningless game that might have had the most two, and pretty much wait for the playoffs from hilarious ending possible. Buff gets a penalty there. Khabby turns away a fair amount of half- in the last minute and buries it like a pro to win the hearted Scum shots. game, and we only stopped laughing last week. Hockey Sabermetrics CHICAGO Every game, we provide you with the Behind The Net numbers. These are at even strength, 5-on-5. Key: QUALCOMP- A measure of the quality of competition each player faces on the ice. Calcu- lated by averaging +/-/60 for opponents on the ice against player. QUALTEAM- A measure of the quality of teammates each player plays with. Calculated by averaging +/-/60 for teammates on ice with player. TOI/60- Time on ice, per 60 minutes, that player spends on ice at full-strength. GFON/60, GAON/60- Goals for and against team per 60 min. player is on ice +/-ON/60- Team’s Plus/ minus, per 60 minutes, while player is on ice. +/-OFF/60- Plus/minus of team while player is off ice, per 60 minutes. RATING- +/-ON/60 subtracted by +/-OFF/60. NAME QUALCOMP QUALTEAM TOI/60 GFON/60 GAON/60 +-ON/60 GFOFF/60 GAOFF/60 +-OFF/60 RATING Colin Fraser 0.83 0.78 6.97 0 0 0 1.62 6.49 -4.87 4.87 Adam Burish -0.4 0.19 8.5 3.02 1.01 2.02 2.53 2.96 -0.44 2.45 -0.21 -0.2 16.18 3.71 2.65 1.06 2.05 2.6 -0.55 1.61 -0.04 -0.25 12.53 2.05 1.37 0.68 2.82 3.06 -0.24 0.93 -0.01 -0.35 12.73 4.04 3.37 0.67 2.09 2.34 -0.25 0.92 Cam Barker -0.01 -0.34 13.08 2.95 2.29 0.66 2.49 2.74 -0.25 0.9 Ben Eager -0.4 0.49 8.98 2.86 2.39 0.48 2.56 2.67 -0.11 0.59 Troy Brouwer -0.06 0.15 10.5 2.45 2.45 0 2.66 2.66 0 0 Duncan Keith 0.16 -0.22 20 2.57 2.57 0 2.65 2.65 0 0 Brent Seabrook 0.15 -0.23 18.74 2.29 2.29 0 2.83 2.83 0 0 -0.2 0.06 11.04 3.1 3.1 0 2.47 2.47 0 0 Dustin Byfuglien 0.23 -0.31 14.08 1.83 2.13 -0.3 2.95 2.82 0.13 -0.43 N. Hjalmarsson -0.21 0.17 13.88 2.16 2.47 -0.31 2.8 2.67 0.13 -0.44 Martin Havlat -0.02 0.01 13.82 2.79 3.1 -0.31 2.54 2.41 0.13 -0.44 0.2 -0.41 12.89 1.99 2.33 -0.33 2.84 2.72 0.12 -0.46 Dave Bolland 0.02 0.07 13.22 2.59 3.24 -0.65 2.62 2.37 0.25 -0.9 Matt Walker -0.02 0.02 13.08 1.97 2.95 -0.98 2.86 2.49 0.37 -1.36 Samuel Pahlsson 0.22 -0.16 12.8 1.34 2.68 -1.34 3.08 2.59 0.49 -1.83 Patrick Kane 0.05 0.22 12.57 3.67 5.51 -1.84 2.36 1.31 1.05 -2.88 (playoff stats)

Power Play Ratings Penalty Kill Ratings Corsi Rating Penalties Drawn This is a measure of a team’s goals-for This measures how many goals a team Shots attempted for a team vs. how many are at- per 60 minutes of player being on the gives up per 60 minutes the player is on tempted against while a given player is on the ice, vs. Taken ice on the power play the ice on the PK. per 60 min. . Player GFON/60 Player GA/60 NAME CORSI NAME PDRAW/60 PTAKE/60 Dustin Byfuglien 16.93 Colin Fraser 0 Jonathan Toews 17.2 Dave Bolland 2.3 1 Brian Campbell 14.78 Kris Versteeg 0 Brian Campbell 15.4 Patrick Sharp 1.6 0.4 Kris Versteeg 13.19 Matt Walker 2.1 Patrick Sharp 11.6 Dustin Byfuglien 1.5 0.9 Patrick Kane 13.11 N. Hjalmarsson 4.28 Troy Brouwer 10.6 Kris Versteeg 1.3 1 Martin Havlat 12.39 Dave Bolland 6.58 Patrick Kane 8.8 Jonathan Toews 1 1.3 Brent Seabrook 12.23 Samuel Pahlsson 7.48 Adam Burish 8.6 Ben Eager 1 2.4 Cam Barker 10.23 Patrick Sharp 9.1 Cam Barker 7.5 Martin Havlat 0.9 0.3 Patrick Sharp 9.64 Brent Seabrook 9.33 Ben Eager 3.3 Brian Campbell 0.8 0 Jonathan Toews 8.56 Duncan Keith 9.36 N. Hjalmarsson 1.5 Andrew Ladd 0.7 1.4 Dave Bolland 7.09 Adam Burish 9.42 Duncan Keith -0.6 Samuel Pahlsson 0.7 0.3 Martin Havlat -0.9 N. Hjalmarsson 0.6 0.6 Dustin Byfuglien -2.4 Adam Burish 0.5 0.5 Andrew Ladd -3.4 Brent Seabrook 0.5 0.7 Samuel Pahlsson -4.4 Patrick Kane 0.4 1.8 Face-offs Brent Seabrook -5.7 Matt Walker 0.3 0 Player Face-Offs Taken FO% Kris Versteeg -7 Colin Fraser 0 0 Jonathan Toews 191 60.2 Matt Walker -8.5 Cam Barker 0 0 Samuel Pahlsson 170 51.2 Dave Bolland -9.7 Troy Brouwer 0 1.2 Dave Bolland 254 46.4 Colin Fraser -17.2 Duncan Keith 0 0.2 Adam Burish 100 39.0 Total Playoff Rank: 48.8 10th Hockey Sabermetrics

SCUM (playoff stats) NAME QUALCOMP QUALTEAM TOI/60 GFON/60 GAON/60 +-ON/60 GFOFF/60 GAOFF/60 +-OFF/60 RATING Dan Cleary -0.26 0.99 14.59 5.06 0.63 4.43 2.09 1.57 0.52 3.91 Henrik Zetterberg -0.27 1.14 16.01 4.9 1.44 3.46 2.04 1.22 0.82 2.64 Johan Franzen -0.2 1.28 15.2 5.16 1.82 3.34 1.99 1.06 0.93 2.41 Brian Rafalski -0.61 1 17.13 3.94 0.88 3.07 2.76 1.76 1 2.06 Nicklas Lidstrom -0.14 1.26 18.42 3.51 1.5 2 2.63 1.17 1.46 0.54 Valtteri Filppula 0.13 -0.13 14.33 2.9 0.97 1.93 2.98 1.42 1.55 0.38 Jonathan Ericsson 0.3 0.16 16.9 3.28 1.37 1.91 2.79 1.26 1.54 0.38 Brett Lebda 0.12 -0.71 13.34 2.77 1.04 1.73 3.02 1.39 1.64 0.09 Pavel Datsyuk 0.03 -0.44 14.98 2.16 0.62 1.54 3.3 1.58 1.71 -0.17 M. Samuelsson 0.03 -0.27 12.63 2.19 0.73 1.46 3.21 1.48 1.73 -0.27 Brad Stuart 0.06 -0.5 19.34 2.39 0.95 1.43 3.32 1.51 1.81 -0.38 Marian Hossa 0.09 -0.3 14.2 2.6 1.62 0.97 3.1 1.16 1.94 -0.96 Jiri Hudler 0.05 -0.14 10.78 2.14 1.28 0.86 3.18 1.3 1.88 -1.03 Niklas Kronwall 0.03 -0.3 19.12 2.66 1.69 0.97 3.14 1.05 2.09 -1.13 Tomas Kopecky 0.36 -1.18 8.81 1.7 1.7 0 3.01 1.24 1.77 -1.77 Tomas Holmstrom 0.02 -0.22 11.22 1.23 1.23 0 3.45 1.31 2.14 -2.14 J. Abdelkader 0.07 -1 6.53 1.84 1.84 0 3.47 1.16 2.31 -2.31 Kris Draper 0.26 -0.82 9.23 2.17 2.17 0 4 1.5 2.5 -2.5 Darren Helm 0.09 -0.61 10.13 1.37 1.82 -0.46 3.36 1.16 2.2 -2.66 -0.16 -1.04 6.93 0 2.17 -2.17 2.43 1.21 1.21 -3.38 Kirk Maltby 0.21 -0.9 7.64 0.79 2.36 -1.57 3.1 0.99 2.11 -3.69

Corsi Rating Penalties Drawn This measures how many shots are attempted for a Power Play Ratings Penalty Kill Ratings team vs. how many are attempted against while a vs. Taken This is a measure of a team’s goals for This measures how many goals a given player is on the ice, per 60 min. per 60 minutes of player being on the team gives up per 60 minutes the ice on the power play. player is on the ice on the PK. NAME CORSI NAME PDRAW/60 PTAKE/60 Player GFON/60 Player GAON/60 Chris Chelios 43.3 Marian Hossa 2.6 0 Brian Rafalski 13.71 Marian Hossa 0 Brett Lebda 27.3 Kirk Maltby 2.4 0.8 Brad Stuart 11.99 Pavel Datsyuk 3.44 Pavel Datsyuk 25.9 Darren Helm 2.3 0.9 Nicklas Lidstrom 11.45 Brad Stuart 5.29 Jiri Hudler 22.3 Kris Draper 2.2 0 Jiri Hudler 11.22 Dan Cleary 7 Tomas Holmstrom 21.8 Chris Chelios 2.2 2.2 Henrik Zetterberg 11.1 N. Lidstrom 11.79 J. Abdelkader 20.2 J. Abdelkader 1.8 0 Johan Franzen 10.81 H. Zetterberg 11.89 Brian Rafalski 19.3 Tomas Holmstrom 1.6 2.1 Tomas Holmstrom 8.78 Niklas Kronwall 13.33 Marian Hossa 17.5 Henrik Zetterberg 1.2 0.6 Pavel Datysuk 8.64 J. Ericsson 18.25 Henrik Zetterberg 17 Pavel Datsyuk 1.2 0 Marian Hossa 8.48 Valtteri Filppula 19.12 Mikael Samuelsson 16.8 Brett Lebda 1 0.3 Niklas Kronwall 8.47 Kirk Maltby 27.66 Niklas Kronwall 13.3 Dan Cleary 0.9 0.6 M. Samuelsson 4.56 Valtteri Filppula 12.6 Brian Rafalski 0.9 0.4 Jonathan Ericsson 12.3 Jiri Hudler 0.9 1.3 Dan Cleary 9.8 Valtteri Filppula 0.6 0.6 Face-offs Nicklas Lidstrom 9.5 Jonathan Ericsson 0.5 1.1 Player Face-Offs Taken FO% Tomas Kopecky 7.7 Niklas Kronwall 0.5 1 Henrik Zetterberg 269 55.0 Johan Franzen 7.3 Mikael Samuelsson 0.4 0.7 Darren Helm 102 52.9 Brad Stuart 3.3 Johan Franzen 0 0.3 Pavel Datsyuk 201 52.7 Darren Helm 2.3 Nicklas Lidstrom 0 0.5 Valtteri Filppula 132 51.5 Kris Draper 0 Brad Stuart 0 0.7 Total Playoff Rank: 2nd 53.8 Kirk Maltby -2.4 Tomas Kopecky 0 0

STAPLES CENTER

Seabrook And Other Stars Are Killing Chances We’re once again thrilled to have David Staples from the Game Two Edmonton Journal’s Cult of Hockey blog. Yep, that’s right, a repu- Brian Rafalski’s goal: Jonathan Toews took a senseless interference table source and all that. Anyway, Dave once again provides his penalty that direclty led to this powerplay goal. The only other Hawk unique breakdown of every goal this series. at fault was Adam Burish, who lost the faceoff.

The Hawks live by the risky play, die by the risky play, so Dan Cleary’s goal: Seabrook failed to get the puck in deep, banging it big changes are not in order. Seabrook, Keith, Sharp, Kane, Toews, off Cleary, who then broke past Duncan Keith to score. Campbell -- those names are usually associated with the good things that happen to the . In the first two games Mikael Samuelsson’s goal: Terrible offensive zone giveway by Brian against Detroit, though, one of those players was the primary culprit Campbell, who made the primary error on this goal against. on each of Detroit’s eight goals against. Other than Jonathan Toews, the big guns on the Hawks haven’t been scoring, but they have been What to make of all this? making defensive miscues at key moments that have directly contrib- About half of the mistakes game on gambling plays where a uted to goals against the Hawks. Hawk ace was trying to make a great offensive play. Sharp’s primary error in game one and Campbell’s primary error in Game Two were Indeed, a big gun on the Hawks has been directly and pri- definitely in that category. But those kind of mistakes are going to marily responsible for every goal against the team. happen to a run-and-gun squad like the Hawks, and it would be wrong-headed for anyone to come down too hard on those plays. Game One Skill and daring makes this Chicago team special, so they should Dan Cleary’s goal: Brent Seabrook made a bad giveway in the of- keep at it and the breaks will come. At last in Game Three they will. fensive zone to start of this short but brutal sequence of pain, then Nikolai Khabibulin blew Cleary’s shot. As for the Wings, in game two, I had Samuellson and Jonathan Ericsson down as the culprits on Toew’s first goal, with the Johan Franzen’s goal: Duncan Keith lost the battle in the corner to primary error going to Brad Stuart for taking the penalty that led to Franzen, the Swedish , and was most responsible for the the goal against. goal against. On Toews’ second goal, Chicago had the puck in the Wings But there were other culprits as well. Khabibulin should end for several hours, so all five position players made mistakes, have had Franzen’s wrap-around, Seabrook was backing away from with Kris Draper losing the faceoff, Brian Rafalski slow to the puck Franzen, and Dustin Byfuglien also had a shot at the puck in the behind the net, Samuelsson passing it too hard for Nicklas Lidstrom corner before Franzen stole it away. to get it, Darren Helm slow to the puck, then losing a key battle, and Lidstrom slow to the puck and not covering anyone. Helm gets the Mikael Samuelsson’s goal: Patrick Sharp made a lame stab at the primary error for losing that key battle. puck in the offensive zone, then slowly dragged his butt off the ice, In game one, Ericsson and Osgood muffed up the play on which led to an odd man rush for the Wings. Adam Burish was also Burish’s goal, though Osgood made the crucial error. On the second slow on the line change, while Ben Eager was too tired to effectively goal against, Ericsson was in the box when Kris Versteeg scored, so check Samuelsson. Khabibulin was weak on the shot. he gets the primary error, with secondary errors going to Valteri Filp- pula and Niklas Kronwall, who failed to get it out when they had the Dan Cleary’s second goal: Patrick Kane made a weak check in the chance. Filppula also got down too low and was out of position on neutral zone, leading to a most threatening Detroit attack, where the point shot. Keith also failed to stop the pass/shot that Cleary tipped.

Henrik Zetterberg’s goal: Brian Campbell and Patrick Sharp were both weak on this empty-netter, though the play was inconsequential.

STANLEY CUP PLAYOFF LEADERS Goals Points GAA SV% Player Team G Player Team P Player Team GAA Player Team SV% 1 S. Crosby PIT 13 1 E. Malkin PIT 25 1 Tim Thomas BOS 1.85 1 Jonas Hiller ANA .943 2 A. Ovechkin WAS 11 2 S. Crosby PIT 24 2 C. Osgood DET 2.04 2 Tim Thomas BOS .935 3 E. Malkin PIT 10 3 A. Ovechkin WAS 21 3 J. Hiller ANA 2.33 3 M. Brodeur NJ .929 4 J. Franzen DET 9 4 J. Franzen DET 18 4 M. Brodeur NJ 2.39 4 C. Osgood DET .925 5 CAR 9 5 R. Getzlaf ANA 18 5 Cam Ward CAR 2.50 5 Cam Ward CAR .920 7 Patrick Kane CHI 8 9 Martin Havlat CHI 14 9 N. Khabibulin CHI 2.65 8 N. Khabibulin CHI .899 From The Rink by James Mirtle Good To Have You Back We cannot stress enough how excited we are to have James And how about doing it all while icing the youngest lineup Mirtle join us this evening. Not only is James an excellent writer for in the NHL, with an average age of 25.6 years (when the season the Globe and Mail, but he’s probably the preeminent hockey started in October)? blogger and maven of the SB Nation, of which we are a part of. You That, Hawks fans, is a fairytale. It’s the sort of story crusty can find his blog at fromtherink.com old sportswriters — and young, uncrusty bloggers — love, a tale of redemption and rebirth and a whole bunch of other re- words we Hey Hawks fans, long time no see. It’s me, James, from don’t have time for me to list. Canada — and boy are we ever glad to have you back, loud and Hockey matters in Chicago again, and believe it or not, proud. that’s something that’s making a big impact even way up here in my As you may have heard, my homeland is a downright puck-obsessed corner of the continent. Not only do the Blackhawks hockey-mad nation. There are literally millions of us watching the have the highest Canadian-born contingent on their roster out of the Blackhawks scratch and claw and commit to the Indian every night remaining teams (65 per cent of Chicago’s roster was born in this on , and — speaking as the designated rep- country) but there are hundreds of thousands of hockey fans who resentative of a country of 34 million — we’re loving every minute grew up rooting for heroes like and Tony Esposito and of it. Chicago’s restored the roar, making the cavernous United Glenn Hall and Stan Mikita, Pierre Pilote, Denis Savard and Keith Center a formidable place to play, and given the history and the heart Magnuson and are ready to get on the bandwagon again (If you’re in behind the franchise, it’s been a joy to tune in. your seats right now, you can look up and see all of their numbers, So, honestly, congratulations on that. Give from Hall’s No. 1 to Espo’s 35, and each and every Rocky a glove tap for me. one is a Canadian and a legend in their hometown. And This is my debut in the Committed Indian, yours, come to think of it). and it’s a thrill to be able to welcome you to the first There’s a real connection there between the Hawks Hawks home game of the Conference Finals. I’ve got and this country, and it’s one that even holds true in two quick thoughts for you in this column, one about my family. My grandfather, you see, he was almost a tonight’s game and one that’s a bit more personal in Hawk, too. nature, but they’re both related and I hope you’ll bear His name was Gordie and he was from small-town with me ‘til the end. (No reading during the anthem, , just like a fellow named Mr. Hockey though.) who would come along a few years later. Grandpa First, let’s get to why you’re here. James Mirtle Mirtle — who we all call Pops — went to training Game 3, the Western Conference finals. camp to try and make the Hawks in the mid-1940s, Down 2-0 to the defending Stanley Cup champs, the during the Second World War, when Saskatchewanians , the same team that whipped the Hawks in five made up nearly one-quarter of the league. games in their last Round 3 appearance 14 years ago. And coming A high-flying center, Pops was undersized for the position, off a heart-breaking, Brian Campbell-induced overtime loss a few and despite being a successful pro on the West Coast, never made the nights ago. Blackhawks. Or the NHL. But, like countless other , that So, yes, frankly, it looks bleak. Let’s face it, Detroit’s been was his dream. a powerhouse for more than a decade — the NHL’s model franchise, He’s now in his mid-80s, and has trouble seeing and hearing really — and it wouldn’t surprise anyone if a few octopi get tossed and doesn’t get out to the golf course any more. He recently told me en route to the Wings winning their fifth Stanley Cup in the past 12 about his tryouts of long ago, how he wished he’d been a little big- years a few weeks from today. ger, a little faster, and then, maybe, he could have been a Hawk and Based on what we saw in Game 2, however, it’s not time to heard The Roar from the ice. count Chicago out yet. The Hawks will bring everything tonight — they have to, it’s one of those must-wins you hear about — and I’m Having hockey rise up in Chicago matters to a lot of people, sure you, the crowd, will, too. from you in the stands, to millions watching here in Canada — in- My guess is it’ll be a thriller. cluding Pops back in my little hometown of Kamloops, B.C. We’re Over the long haul, the Hawks are going to need to win four glad you’re back and hope this time you’ll stay. out of the next five games — including two in Motown — to beat the Wings and advance to the finals for only the second time in the We all hate the Red Wings anyway. last 36 years. But here’s the good news: Even if that doesn’t happen, keep in mind that the Blackhawks have already performed one of the greatest comebacks in NHL history this season. Forget rallying from an 0-3 deficit like the ’42 Maple Leafs or the ’75 Islanders, how about going from an average of 12,727 fans per game in 2006-07 (second worst in the league) to 22,247 this season, setting an NHL record in the process? How about a rise from 20th last season and a playoff miss to putting up the sixth-best record in the league, eight points shy of the vaunted Red Wings? The Making of The Chicago Blackhawks

info in part provided by hockeyreference.com YEAR 2008-2009 Samuel Pahlsson (COL 7th round 1996) and Brian Campbell (BUF 6th Logan Stephenson (PHX 2nd round 2004) from round 1997 ANA for James Wisniewski (CHI 5th round Cristobal Huet (LA 7th round 2002) and Petri Kontiola (CHI 7th round 2004) 2001) Matt Walker (STL 3rd round 1998) Aaron Johnson (CLB 3rd round 2001) 2007-2008 Patrick Kane (1st round) Ben Eager (PHO 1st round 2002) from PHI for Brent Sopel (VAN 6th round Jim Vandermeer (FA PHI 2000) 1995) Andrew Ladd (CAR 1st round 2004) from CAR for Tuomo Ruutu (CHI 1st round 2001) 2006-2007 Jonathan Toews (1st round) Martin Havlat (OTT 1st round 1999) from OTT and Bryan Smolinski (BOS 1st round 1990) for Tom Preissing (FA SJ 2003), Josh Hennessy (SJ 2nd round 2003) and Michael Barinka (CHI 2nd round 2003) Kris Versteeg (BOS 5th round 2004) from BOS for Brandon Bochenski (OTT 7th round 2001) 2005-2006 Niklas Hjalmarsson (4th round) Patrick Sharp (PHI 3rd round 2001) from PHI Nikolai Khabibulin (WIN 9th for Matt Ellison (CHI 4th round 2002) and CHI round 1992) 3rd round pick 2006 2004-2005 Cam Barker (1st round) Dave Bolland (2nd round) Troy Brouwer (7th round) 2003-2004 Brent Seabrook (1st round) Colin Fraser (PHI 3rd round 2003), Jim Van- Dustin Byfuglien (8th round) dermeer (PHI FA 2000) and 2004 2nd round pick from PHI for Alex Zhamnov and 2004 4th round pick (WIN 4th round 1990) 2002-2003 Duncan Keith (2nd round) Adam Burish (9th round)

COACHES GM HISTORY Head Coach-Joel Quenneville Dale Tallon (2005-Present) Assistant Coach-John Torchetti (Too Fucking Long) Assistant Coach-Mike Haviland Mike Smith (2001-2004) Assistant Coach- Marc Bergevin Bob Murray (1999-2000) Goaltending Coach-Stephane Waite The Making of Scum

YEAR DRAFT TRADE FREE AGENT 2008-2009 Marian Hossa (OTT 1st round 1997) Ty Conklin (EDM Undrafted FA 2001) 2007-2008 Brad Stuart (SJ 1st round 1998) from LAK for Darren McCarty (DET 2nd round 2008 2nd round pick and 2009 4th round pick 1992) Brian Rafalski (NJ Undrafted FA 1999) 2005-2006 Justing Abdelkader (2nd Daniel Cleary (CHI 1st round 1997) round) Mikael Samuelsson (SJ 5th round Darren Helm (5th round) 1998) Andreas Lilja (LAK 2nd round 2000) Chris Osgood (DET 3rd round 1995) 2004-2005 Johan Franzen (3rd round) 2002-2003 Jiri Hudler (2nd round) Valtteri Filppula (3rd round) Jonathan Ericsson (9th round) 2000-2001 Niklas Kronwall (1st round) Tomas Kopecky (2nd round) 1999-2000 Henrik Zetterberg (7th round) 1998-1999 Pavel Datsyuk (6th round) Judas (MTL 2nd round 1981) from CHI for Anders Eriksson (DET 1st round 1993), 1999 1st round pick, and 2001 1st round pick 1995-1996 Kirk Maltby (EDM 3rd round 1992) from EDM for Dan McGillis (DET 10th round 1992) 1994-1995 Tomas Holmstrom (10th round) 1993-1994 Kris Draper (WIN 3rd round 1989) from WIN for future considerations 1989-1990 Nicklas Lindstrom (3rd round)

info in part provided by hockeyreference.com

COACHES GM HISTORY Head Coach- Mike Babcock 1996-Present: Asst. Coach- Paul MacLean Asst. Coach- Brad McCrimmon Goaltending Coach- Jim Bedard The Hawks Record When...

Playing at home...... 29-10-8 Scoring a short-handed goal...... 7-2-0 UC plays really stupid goal song..... 29-6-8 Playing on road...... 25-19-5 Allowing a short-handed goal...... 2-4-1 Huet’s five-hole open like Lindsay Lohan’s..... 3-11-4 Scoring first...... 37-8-6 Taking 30 or more shots...... 38-20-9 Getting obliterated on face-offs...... 20-12-4 Opponent scores first...... 17-21-7 Taking less than 30 shots..... 16-9-4 Are even close on face-offs..... 34-17-9 Shoot the puck bimbo scores...... 5-2-1 Allowing 30 shots or more...... 21-10-7 Eddie O tells crew to “stop it right here!”.... 44-23-13 Shoot the puck bimbo doesn’t score...... 24-7-7 Allowing 30 shots or less...... 33-19-6 Eddie O tells us D have the forwards and forwards have the D Shoot the puck bimbo blows editors of Commited Indian..... 0-0-0 100 Level doesn’t cheer for anthem. 23-8-8 during 4-on-4...... 44-23-13 Editor listens to Liz Phair on way to UC and risks being called 1st of a back-to-back...... 6-6-3 screws up a name...... 50-22-12 gay by everyone...... 2-0-0 2nd of a back-to-back..... 9-5-2 Ice Crew wear skirts...... 8-1-3 Playing on a Monday...... 4-3-1 Opponent played night before.... 11-5-2 Ice Crew wear pants...... 3-1-0 Playing on a Tuesday...... 7-5-1 Taking more than 5 penalties..... 19-18-5 Ice Crew wear shorts.... 18-8-5 Playing on a Wednesday...... 10-2-4 Taking 5 or less penalties.... 35-11-8 Member of Ice Crew hilariously falls on her shapely ass.... 0-1-0 Playing on a Thursday...... 4-4-0 Seabrook gets a flat-footed penalty.... 10-8-7 Leading after 2 periods...... 39-2-4 Playing on a Friday...... 6-4-4 Burish takes a penalty...... 12-8-2 Losing after 2 periods...... 4-21-5 Playing on a Saturday...... 12-5-3 Keith takes a penalty...... 16-7-4 Tied after 2 periods...... 11-6-4 Playing on a Sunday...... 11-6-0 Sharp takes a penalty...... 10-3-2 In overtime...... 8-6 Savard changes lines during game... 1-2-1 Toews takes a penalty..... 12-9-3 In shootout...... 4-7 Coach Q keeps lines as they are..... 53-27-12 Havlat takes a penalty.... 8-4-1 Cam Barker plays...... 46-25-10 Are out-muscled by opponent.... 11-22-4 Sopel takes a penalty...... 3-2-1 Cam Barker is in Rockford due to GM incompetence..... 6-2-3 Outshoot opponent...... 40-18-8 Sopel looks 6 steps slow...... 7-5-5 Lacking a #2 center...... 38-22-9 Are outshot by opponent.... 13-11-5 51 Phantom blows a coverage...... 33-24-10 In 1-goal games..... 15-7-13 Havlat shies from contact...... 16-6-6 Toews is trying too hard...... 3-9-3 In 2-goal games...... 18-11-0 Patrick Kane scores...... 15-9-3 At least 1 fight in 300 Level... 7-4-4 In 3-goal games...... 11-7-0 Jonathan Toews scores...... 19-3-7 No fights in 300 Level..... 19-5-4 In 4+ goal games...... 9-3-0 Martin Havlat scores...... 20-5-2 Playing Eastern Conference..... 9-7-3 Scoring 3+ goals..... 49-9-8 Patrick Sharp scores...... 18-5-2 Playing Western Conference..... 45-23-10 Scoring less than 3 goals...... 5-19-5 Dustin Byfuglien scores...... 11-3-1 Playing Central Division...... 10-8-8 PA plays Ministry...... 0-0-0 Dustin Byfuglien wins a foot-race??!!!!!..... 4-1-0 Playing Northwest Division.... 20-10-1 PA plays Modern Cock-Rock..... 29-10-8 Andrew Ladd scores...... 15-0-1 Playing Pacific Division 15-5-1 PA plays Stranglehold...... 9-3-4 Dave Bolland scores...... 13-2-5 Playing Atlantic Division 2-3-2 PA plays P.J. Harvey...... 0-0-0 Adam Burish scores...... 6-3-1, and totally ruins that joke Playing NASCAR Division 4-1-0 Fraser fights...... 7-3-1 51 Phantom scores...... 4-3-1 Playing Northeast Division 3-2-1 Burish fights...... 5-2-0 Duncan Keith scores...... 5-3-0 Playing in October.... 4-3-3 Seabrook fights..... 1-0-0 Brent Seabrook scores...... 5-1-2 Playing in November.... 6-3-3 Barker fights...... 0-0-2 VerStud scores.... 15-9-1 Playing in December...... 10-1-1 Buff fights...... 1-1-2 Troy Brouwer scores.... 8-0-0 Playing in January..... 7-6-1 Sharp fights...... 1-0-0 Scoring a Power Play goal...... 37-15-11 Playing in February..... 7-4-1 Eager fights...... 12-4-2 Not scoring a Power Play goal... 17-13-2 Playing in March...... 6-7-2 On Comcast...... 41-16-9 Allowing a Power Play goal...... 24-21-11 Playing in April...... 10-3-1 On WGN...... 11-7-3 Not Allowing a Power Play goal...... 29-8-2 Playing in May.... 4-2-1 On Vs...... 2-6-1

Not going to the game? Get The Committed Indian via Email! $2 per issue, $5 per round, $15 for the rest of the playoffs!

Just go to www.secondcity- hockey.com and look for the link on the left.