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Understanding Stigma, Secrecy, and Sex in CNM Relationships

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Understanding Stigma, Secrecy, and Sex in CNM Relationships Western University Scholarship@Western Electronic Thesis and Dissertation Repository 8-1-2018 2:00 PM Understanding Stigma, Secrecy, and Sex in CNM Relationships Rhonda Balzarini The University of Western Ontario Supervisor Campbell, Lorne The University of Western Ontario Graduate Program in Psychology A thesis submitted in partial fulfillment of the equirr ements for the degree in Doctor of Philosophy © Rhonda Balzarini 2018 Follow this and additional works at: https://ir.lib.uwo.ca/etd Part of the Social Psychology Commons Recommended Citation Balzarini, Rhonda, "Understanding Stigma, Secrecy, and Sex in CNM Relationships" (2018). Electronic Thesis and Dissertation Repository. 5613. https://ir.lib.uwo.ca/etd/5613 This Dissertation/Thesis is brought to you for free and open access by Scholarship@Western. It has been accepted for inclusion in Electronic Thesis and Dissertation Repository by an authorized administrator of Scholarship@Western. For more information, please contact [email protected]. ABSTRACT Scholars have posited that the family system is becoming more diversified with increases in same-sex, mixed sex, and consensually non-monogamous relationships. While same-sex and mixed-sex relationships have received considerable attention, public and academic interest in consensually non-monogamous relationships have increased dramatically. Yet despite increased interest, little is known about the ways in which relationships with various partners in non- monogamous relationships differ, whether differences that emerge are influenced by experiences of stigma or the desired role of different partners, whether stigma was driven by one’s relationship orientation, and how individual’s sexual attitudes impact the decision to pursue consensually non-monogamous arrangements. This article-based dissertation sought to address these lines of inquiry and advance understanding of consensually non-monogamous relationships. Results suggested that meaningful differences emerge across partners in polyamorous relationships, with participants reporting greater acceptance, satisfaction, commitment, investment, and communication for their primary partners, while greater secrecy, quality of alternatives, and proportion of time spent on sex was reported for secondary partners. Likewise, these effects emerged when assessing differences among polyamorists who identified partners as co-primary and non-primary. However, results also suggested that some of these effects, namely secrecy, acceptance, and proportion of time spent on sex, are driven by levels of commitment to various partners, possibly because primary partners meet needs for nurturance, while secondary partners meet needs for eroticism. Lastly, results revealed that relationship orientation influences stigma towards CNM, and that sexual attitudes, erotophobia, and sociosexuality differ based on relationship orientation. Keywords: Consensual non-monogamy; monogamy; romantic relationships; sex, stigma i CO-AUTHORSHIP STATEMENT The contents of chapters two and five represent fully-published, peer-reviewed, articles undertaken in collaboration with co-authors, while chapter three, four, six, and seven are under review and were also conducted in collaboration with co-authors. Across all articles, Rhonda N. Balzarini was the primary investigator and took the lead role in all aspects of the research. References are provided below, in the order in which they appear within the dissertation. Balzarini, R. N., Campbell, L., Kohut, T., Holmes, B. M., Lehmiller, J. J., Harman, J. J., & Atkins, N. (2017). Perceptions of primary and secondary relationships in polyamory. PLoS ONE, 12, 1–20. Balzarini, R. N., Dharma, C., Kohut, T., Campbell, C., Holmes, B. M., Lehmiller, J. J., & Harman, J. J. (under review). Outcomes of co-primary and non-primary polyamorous relationships: What are the implications of rejecting relationship hierarchies? Archives of Sexual Behavior. Balzarini, R. N., Dobson, K. D., Kohut, T., & Lehmiller, J. J. (under review). The role of relationship acceptance and romantic secrecy on commitment processes and the proportion of time spent on sex. Archives of Sexual Behavior. Balzarini, R. N., Dharma, C., & Kohut, T. (under review). Do different partners in polyamorous relationships fill specific roles? How eroticism and nurturance differ between relationships among polyamorous individuals. Social Psychology. Balzarini, R. N., Shumlich, E., Kohut, T., & Campbell, L. (2018). Dimming the “halo” around monogamy: Re-assessing stigma surrounding consensually non-monogamous romantic relationships as a function of personal relationship orientation. Frontiers in Psychology, 9, 1–12. Balzarini, R. N., Shumlich, E., Kohut, T., & Campbell, L. (revision submitted). Sexual attitudes, erotophobia, and sociosexual orientation differ based on relationship orientation. Journal of Sex Research. Portions of chapter one and chapter eight were drawn from the above articles. ii ACKNOWLEDGMENTS I would like to express my utmost gratitude to my research supervisor, Dr. Lorne Campbell, for his continuous guidance and support. His enthusiasm for theory and open and reproducible science has been contagious and has inspired my approach to research and the papers included in this dissertation. As my teacher and mentor, he has taught me more than I could ever give him credit for here. I am also thankful to all of those with whom I have had the pleasure to work with on these projects. Specifically, Dr. Taylor Kohut, Dr. Justin Lehmiller, Dr. Jennifer Harmen, Dr. Bjarne Holmes, Christoffer Dharma, Kiersten Dobson, and Erin Shumlich. I am especially indebted to Dr. Taylor Kohut for his unwavering support throughout my graduate program and in all of my research pursuits. He has shown me what a good scientist should be. I would also like to thank my Dissertation Committee for providing extensive theoretical and statistical guidance. Dr. William Fisher and Dr. Paul Tremblay have provided critical feedback throughout the preparation of this work. Additionally, a heartfelt thank you is reserved for my friends. Dr. Martin Smith for providing me constructive comments on the papers included in this dissertation and for his relentless enthusiasm about this work. Kiersten Dobson for working alongside me and for offering a voice of reason and reassurance. Austin Resvick and Adriana Bouwmeester for making London feel like my home away from home. Finally, nobody has been more supportive of the pursuit of my doctoral studies than my parents, Michelle and John Balzarini, whose love and guidance are with me in whatever I pursue. I would like to dedicate my dissertation to them. iii TABLE OF CONTENTS ABSTRACT ..................................................................................................................................... i CO-AUTHORSHIP STATEMENT ............................................................................................... ii ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS ........................................................................................................... iii TABLE OF CONTENTS ............................................................................................................... iv LIST OF TABLES .......................................................................................................................... x LIST OF FIGURES ...................................................................................................................... xii CHAPTER ONE: INTRODUCTION AND LITERATURE REVIEW ......................................... 1 1. The Slippery Slope of Marriage Equality and Increased Interest in Consensual Non- Monogamy ...................................................................................................................................... 1 1.1. Beyond Monogamy: Consensual Non-monogamy and Primary Status .................................. 2 1.2. Theoretical Background ........................................................................................................... 6 1.2.1. Stigma and Stigma Management....................................................................................... 6 1.2.2. Stigma Towards Consensually Non-Monogamous Relationships .................................... 8 1.2.3. Investment Model ............................................................................................................ 11 1.2.4. Eroticism and Nurturance................................................................................................ 13 1.3. Sociodemographic Variables ................................................................................................. 14 1.4. Identify and Orientation ......................................................................................................... 16 1.5. Aims of Integrated Article ..................................................................................................... 17 1.6. References .............................................................................................................................. 18 CHAPTER TWO: PERCEPTIONS OF PRIMARY AND SECONDARY RELATIONSHIPS IN POLYAMORY ............................................................................................................................. 29 2.1. Introduction ............................................................................................................................ 29 2.1.1. Previous Research on CNM and Goals of Current Research .......................................... 31 2.1.2.
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