18/08/20

Burnley and District U3A News-Sheet Issue 7

Hello everyone. Can you believe this is our seventh news-sheet since the start of lockdown in March? I, for one, find it hard to believe. I have to confess that I sometimes find it difficult to keep the "news" content fresh, interesting and relevant to our U3A as actual news can be rather sparse. I am indebted to those among you who have contributed to the various issues. Without your articles, amusing stories, jokes and quizzes there would be no news-sheet. It is a sad fact that there is little prospect of resuming anything approaching our normal U3A activities in the foreseeable future. Given the recent increase in Covid-19 cases in our area and the additional restrictions to which we are now subject, it looks increasingly unlikely that we will see a change before 2021. The Third Age Trust has issued national guidelines for restarting groups but the requirements for safe operation in "Covid-secure" premises are daunting and your committee still does not support the resumption of activities that involve physical meetings of our groups. The other day the lady in charge of bookings for one of the venues used by many of our groups, Road Methodist Church, told me that the church has not yet resumed services for worship. When services do resume, the church will not have the staff to clean and sanitize meetings rooms between groups so the rooms are unlikely to be available to hire. This is likely to be the case with other venues, too. If you would like to read the national guidelines yourself you can find them at: https://mcusercontent.com/656ad5962b370cc9e2731d1ed/files/cac211e0-685e-4f43-a06e- 31c2fd8fd408/7th_August_England_Advice_for_Restarting_Interest_Groups_August_2020_ with_risk_asseement_Final_.pdf (You may have to copy and paste the link into your browser address bar) Of course, local restrictions in force at the moment override anything contained in these guidelines. Zoom Have you tried Zoom for holding meetings of your groups? The Italian Group, who, you may remember, were communicating in Italian using WhatsApp, has started to hold fortnightly Zoom meetings. There have been two so far with the next scheduled for Wednesday 19th August. The free version of Zoom allows meetings of up to 40 minutes, though our experience so far has been that they have extended this during the meeting and we have continued for more than an hour. It has worked well for the group, giving us the next best thing to face-to-face contact and conversation. All who have participated are keen to continue. Have any other groups tried Zoom? We've had no feedback to say whether any are managing to hold virtual meetings and I'm sure members would be interested to hear. If you have not yet been involved in a Zoom meeting it's fairly straightforward and you can find tutorials on YouTube. U3A National Office also runs live tutorials, for which you need to register. It's too late to register for the August tutorials but I'm sure there will be more in the next month or so. You can find details on the National U3A website. 1 18/08/20

Burnley and District U3A Website A few months ago the Burnley and District U3A website seemed to have been subjected to a "hack" and had become difficult to manage. Don't worry, though, no information of any kind relating to any of our members was stored on or accessible through the site so no personal data was compromised. The hack related only to unauthorised emails emanating from the site. As a result of the difficulties we decided to move the site to another host and use U3A Site Builder to create a new website whilst still using much of the content from the old site. Jim Sutcliffe has spent many hours building the new site and moving content from the old and, thanks to him, the new website is now active. The new site may not look as attractive as the old - it has been described as "very 1995" - but it is easier to maintain, easier to edit content (Jim has given me access so I can add or change various things as well as he), is hosted by U3A Site Builder with back up from them and shares a common basic format with most other U3As' sites. Please visit the website and have a look for yourselves. The web address is: https://u3asites.org.uk/burnley/home Please note that if you try to access the old website you will see the following message: "Apologies: the site which you have requested is not available from this host. Details of all U3A web sites currently published here can be found on this alphabetic index." If you click on "alphabetic index" you will be taken to a list of U3A sites from which you can select Burnley and District. The new website is still developing and we may expect further changes or additions in the coming months. One development could be for Group Leaders to have the option to edit or add to their own group's web page, if they wish, without having to involve Jim or me. We hope to add more photographs to the site as the months progress, showing, for example, different group activities, either on individual group pages or in a gallery - or both - so if you think you have pictures suitable for inclusion please don't be afraid to submit them, either to me or to Jim Sutcliffe. If, having had a look at the new website, you have any suggestions for improvement or content do let us know and they will be given full consideration. Photography Group The group is hoping to resume activities within the next month or so. Whilst it's not possible to hold meetings, we intend to set monthly photographic projects for our members. Members will be able to upload their photos online to a Google Photos album set up for the specific month's project so they can share their results and comments with the rest of the group. You are welcome to look at the prototype album we produced to try out Google Photos. If you would like to see it please copy and paste the following link into your browser address bar: https://photos.app.goo.gl/YsuJcV3U7XWXt62eA

Now read on and enjoy the rest of this news-sheet Stuart Chattle

2 18/08/20

A FEW GARDENING TIPS

1. Bubble-wrap, taped inside glass, is an excellent insulation for greenhouses and frost protection during the winter for outdoor plants in pots. Wrap it around and over the pots. 2. Use shower caps that you get from hotels to make a propagator top for large plant pots. 3. The writing on your own plant labels will last longer with a covering of clear nail varnish, applied as soon as you have written the name. If you don’t need the label, peel off the varnish and the writing will come off too. 4. Scoops for the compost bag can be made out of 2 pint plastic milk bottles. Cut at an angle about 8ins along from the cap end. Make sure the handle is in line with the angled cut. 5. Keep old dark-coloured jumpers and fleeces for lining hanging baskets. 6. Terracotta pots dry out quickly. Line the insides with plastic bags. 7. If you need to get weeds out from between delicate seedlings or around fragile potted plants try using a pair of eyebrow tweezers. 8. If you want your compost to rot down quickly you need urine. But only male urine will do. 9. Cut old tights into strips. Use as ties for gentle climbers and perennials. The material stretches, allowing for movement in the wind and does not cut the branches. 10. Vases of cut flowers last longer if they are not positioned near bowls of fruit, especially bananas.

And finally: There can be no occupation like gardening in which, if you were to creep up behind someone at their work, you would find them smiling.

Pat Ferguson

3 18/08/20 Melinda's Lockdown Blog

17th July 2020 ------Extraordinary week 18

It’s off! The plaster cast on my left arm, I mean. I thought once it was released from the weight of the cast my arm would feel light, but instead it felt just like a piece of limp lettuce, mostly useless. I watched as the technician used her circular saw to cut open the plaster and asked her how she judged how deep to make the cut. “Oh, I know from experience,” she said. I was glad I wasn’t her first patient! So now the hard work starts, getting the full use of that wrist back again. So far it’s been easy to attempt the exercises on the photocopied sheet I was given, but seeing the improvement is proving difficult. I was surprised to find that the end of my left thumb and two other fingers are numb. Nerve damage, I guess. I hope it’s only temporary. It’s early days yet, I suppose. Have you been out and about more, now that the lock-down is easing? I’ve only been as far as Manchester, on the bus, fully masked. I didn’t find it uncomfortable, wearing a mask for more than an hour, but was surprised how hot it made me feel. The trip to Manchester was not so much an outing, more a duty visit to a property there. A friend made me laugh this week when we were discussing food and meals. He said “Have you christened your tea yet?” Non-Lancastrian that I am, I asked him what he meant. I expect you know if you’ve lived in this area for a good while. He said it was another way of saying what I was going to have for tea, as in “naming” what I was going to eat.

24th July 2020 ------Extraordinary week 19 The good news this week is that libraries are opening on 27th July. Twelve of them, anyway. Fortunately, one of them is very near me. So when I read this news, I searched for the way to make an appointment so I could get in. On the county council’s website, I found a page for “coronavirus” and chose the Libraries, Archives and Museums section. I got a half-hour slot on Monday morning in which to choose my books. I think that will be enough time. I’ve already made a list. A list! If you know my reading habits, you might know that my list is eight years long. I keep it in a notebook, writing down books to read as I hear about them (thank you, Book Group members), or read a review somewhere, crossing them off as I read them. So I’m now reading books that I listed in 2012. What about that as a theme for the Book Group next year? “Read Melinda’s Book List for 2013, choose any listed book.” Somehow I’m doubtful about its appeal. I finished The House of the Spirits by Isabel Allende, which I enjoyed very much, though the ending is rather dark. The story covers most of the 20th century in two areas of Peru, following the lives of one family and in particular of those who live in the large house on the corner, named in the title. My dahlias are flowering. Only two, but it is my first year trying these, and I’ll definitely grow them again. I have a very dark red flower and a medium pink one, both of the pompom variety. They are still quite small but as the petals open the flower-heads grow larger. Success! 4 18/08/20

31st July 2020 ------Extraordinary week 20

This week was library week. Having booked an appointment, I went to chose books that I had pinpointed beforehand as being on the shelf. The online catalogue is very useful. There was a queue at the door as everyone had the same idea and no appointment is necessary if you just want to return books. I checked in with the door-keeper, left my phone number in case of Track and Trace and went to the shelves looking for books on my list. Somewhat to my surprise I found four straight away, so booked them out – all for returning by 1st October. Now I’m enjoying Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen. It’s a long time since I read any Jane Austen and now I’m being reminded of her gentle satire of social activities in her days. A few days later I had an email from the library saying that a book that I had reserved was waiting for me to collect. The last time I had checked my reservation list it showed that I was thirteenth in the queue to borrow it. It turns out that several more copies have been purchased so I moved suddenly up the queue. Now I have to read Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel before 1st October. I don’t think that’s a hardship, but there’s already a “reserved” notice on this copy. I’m persevering with exercises for my mending wrist, and I was delighted to find that this week I was able to use the pepper grinder in the kitchen. I love black pepper, so was very pleased that I can put it into my cooking again instead of the white variety which tastes so different. And with these notes, I am signing off from my weekly accounts of living in lock-down. I’m still cheerful, as I hope you are too, and looking forward to meeting up in real-life before too long. Melinda Jackson ------I am sure all readers will join with me in thanking Melinda for her contributions to every one of our news-letters to date and in wishing her continued progress toward a full recovery from her injury. Thanks, Melinda, your weekly updates will be missed. Stuart

Following a warning of severe winter weather conditions, Government advice said that anyone travelling should take a shovel, blankets or a sleeping bag, extra clothing including a duffel coat, scarf, woolly hat and gloves, 24 hours supply of food and a hot drink, de-icer, rock salt, a torch, spare batteries, a safety triangle, tow rope, petrol can, first aid kit and a set of jump leads. I looked a right pratt on the bus this morning! ------Percy: I've decided, my dear wife, that when I die I'll leave everything to you. Maisie: You already do, you lazy beggar! ------Brenda Hayman

5 18/08/20

♫Coo coo ca choo♫ by Lis Robinson

I had thought of calling this item “Teachers”, but at the present time I would say there are mixed feelings about the profession! I’ve lost count of the times, I’ve been greeted by a chorus from that film, when I introduce myself as “Mrs. Robinson”. I thought about writing a blow by blow account of some of my more lurid teaching experiences, then realised that in the telling there would be lots of annoying asterisks. I didn’t intend to become a teacher. I left school at 18 and began to train as a librarian. However, half way down the coast of Wales, I had a change of heart and ended up applying to University. I still didn’t intend to become a teacher after graduation, but applied to do the training “just in case.” Even after that, I escaped abroad again for another year, but then met a man and got my first teaching post. The comprehensive system was just taking hold, the school leaving age had risen to 16 and school premises sprouted extra buildings. My school had one of those - the RoSLA block – accessed by teachers via a short cut, going the wrong way down a long flight of stairs. Uniform was navy blue and white and female staff were allowed to wear trousers. A female colleague wore similar attire and was quite shocked when one of the older boys mistook her for a pupil and grabbed her as she came down those stairs! Several of the first year girls were taller than me: two of my first year boys were sent away after a bit of local arson. The Head of Department job came up but I had only been in the job a year. I felt I had to apply to show interest – and then at the interview I was asked if I didn’t think I was rather young for the job by a man who later became the youngest head teacher in the district! And talking about trousers, my flat mate didn’t possess a dress or a skirt and the girls high school where she was due to do her teaching practice , didn’t allow trousers. So she bought a long sleeved buttoned up dress, wore it with knee high boots and washed it every weekend. My first school was a good place. My second school fell somewhat short. In my first week I entered the classroom to meet my fifth year “non-exam” class, a motley group of leather jacketed boys and some girls on the front row. This is where the asterisks abound! They wanted to know who the **** I was…. in extremely colourful language and I hadn’t even opened my mouth. My subsequent actions had the result that they “dropped” my subject. A couple of classes told me that the previous teacher used to throw chairs around….. One day my classroom had been changed so I moved 30+ bottom set second years complete with text books and technology to another room. Suffice it to say that one boy who rarely made an appearance said rude things which I couldn’t possibly repeat, “saw red”, tried to kick me and I propelled him at arms length to the Headmasters study. Nothing came of it but I was pleased when a few days later I heard that he had escaped out of a window whilst awaiting some corporal punishment in the said study!! I decided that this was not the school for me. I left and immediately entered the world of the supply teacher. I got a “full-time” supply post in a local boys’ school, which was great. I replaced someone who had left with stress, a situation I found myself in several times, being greeted with tales of what Sir or Miss used to do to try to control them! I was expecting my first child during this post and I do remember one boy who must have been 12, telling me that I was getting a bit too fat to squeeze between the chairs! I walked into staff rooms where teachers came out of class in tears, encountered pupils without so much as a pencil and told me they ”weren’t at the grammar school”. I finally found my niche teaching 16-18 year olds and adults at local F.E. College – future Oxbridge entrants, businessmen and women, people with holiday homes abroad and local people wanting to enjoy a foreign holiday. Languages really are for life!

6 18/08/20

Quick Quiz – Landmarks

1. What was the former use of the building in Burnley now known as The Landmark? 2. When you enter Burnley from the Gannow top Roundabout at Junction 10 of the M65 what landmark welcomes you to Burnley? 3. A piece of which historic London building now stands in the grounds of Clitheroe castle? 4. What is the name of the panopticon that overlooks Burnley from Crown Point Road? 5. What is a panopticon? 6. In which English County is the Cerne Abbas Giant located? 7. Which sculptor created the Angel of the North? 8. Which river is crossed by the world’s first iron bridge? 9. Sir Horace Jones designed which iconic bridge over the Thames? 10. What is the former name of Uluru in Australia? 11. What is carved into the hillside at Kilburn, North Yorkshire? 12. Darwen Tower was built to celebrate which royal occasion in 1898? 13. What is the name of the island on which the Statue of Liberty stands? 14. Which writer is commemorated by a monument in Princes Street Gardens, Edinburgh? 15. The ruin of St Michael’s church stands on top of which natural landmark?

Answers: 1 School/college 2 A sculpture of a letter ‘b’ 3 The Houses of Parliament 4 The Singing Ringing Tree 5 A structure, space or device providing a comprehensive or panoramic view 6 Dorset 7 Anthony Gormley 8 The Severn 9 Tower Bridge 10 Ayers Rock 11 A white horse 12 Queen Victoria’s Diamond Jubilee 13 Liberty Island 14 Sir Walter Scott 15 Glastonbury Tor

Bob Marks

There's nowt so queer as folk ......

Following a series of disagreements with the Church in the 1930s, Rev. Harold "Jumbo" Davidson, rector of Stiffkey in Norfolk, found an unusual platform on which to air his grievances. He moved into a cage at Skegness with Freddie the lion. But, after a harmonious beginning, the lion suddenly turned on the rector and Davidson was so badly mauled that he died in hospital. Even his funeral was unconventional, his widow choosing to dress all in white except for black shoes. ------American artist James Whistler once dyed a rice pudding green so that it wouldn't clash with the walls of his dining room. ------Wealthy English landowner William Beckford took a flock of sheep with him to Portugal - to improve the view from his window.

7 18/08/20 Don't ask me, ask Charles! Between December 2004 and February 2005 we spent 8 weeks on the holiday of a lifetime travelling through Argentina, from Iguazu in the north to Ushuaia on Tierra del Fuego in the far south and thence on a 10 day cruise to Antarctica. Our ship was the Professor Molchanov, an ice-strengthened Russian expedition ship. Accompanying us on board were an expedition leader (Swedish), two naturalists (American and South African) and a doctor (from Bolton!). The captain and crew were Russian but the catering staff were Swedish. You'll perhaps remember the Swedish chef from the Muppet Show? Well, our Swedish Chef was nothing like him and the food was exemplary. There were only 49 passengers on the ship but there was a truly international mix, with travellers from Australia, New Zealand, Belgium, The Netherlands, France, South Africa, Argentina and America, not to mention England, Scotland and Wales. I think one of the most surreal experiences of my life was a barbecue on the open deck in the seas off the Antarctic Peninsula. It was snowing, we were all wearing down jackets, eating chicken and sausages cooked on a charcoal barbecue, listening to Boney M (remember them?) singing "By the Rivers of Babylon",”Ra Ra Rasputin”, “Brown Girl in the Ring” and more, whilst a leopard seal floated past on an ice floe. One barbecue I'll never forget!

Anyway, why the title of this article? On the first day at sea after leaving Ushuaia, although feeling very seasick as we sailed through the Roaring Forties, we managed to attend a talk by our expedition leader, Olle Carlsson, on Seabirds - the Vagabonds of the Oceans, about birds that spend most of their lives following ships in the open oceans. After his talk Olle took questions from his audience. One lady asked "Why are there so many different kinds of penguin?" I think he was a bit lost for words. Where were you when we needed you, Charles? Stuart Chattle 8 18/08/20

Funny Quotes ..... By Brenda Hayman

QUOTES FROM LONDON TUBE-TRAIN DRIVERS

“Ladies and gentlemen, I do apologise for the delay in your service. I know you're all dying to get home, unless, of course, you happen to be married to my ex-wife, in which case you'll want to cross over to the other line and go in the opposite direction.” “Your delay this evening is caused by the line-controller suffering from E & B syndrome: not knowing his elbow from his backside. I'll let you know any further information as soon as I'm given any.” “Do you want the good news first or the bad news first? The good news is that last Friday was my birthday, and I hit the town and had a great time. The bad news is that there is a points failure somewhere between stations, which means we probably won't reach our destination.” “Ladies and gentlemen, we apologise for the delay, but there is a security alert at Victoria station and we are therefore stuck here for the foreseeable future, so let's take our minds off it and pass some time together. All together now -”Ten green bottles hanging on a wall...... ” “We are now travelling through Baker Street. As you can see Baker Street is closed. It would have been nice if they had actually told me, so I could not tell you earlier, but no, they don't think of things like that.” “Beggars are operating on this train. Please do NOT encourage these professional beggars. If you have any spare change, please give it to a registered charity. Failing that, give it to me.” During an extremely hot rush hour, the driver announced, “Step right this way for the sauna, ladies and gentlemen....unfortunately towels are not provided.” “ PLEASE let the passengers off the train FIRST!” (Pause) “Oh, go on then, stuff yourselves in like sardines, see if I care - I'm going home!” “Please allow the doors to close. Try not to confuse this with “Please hold the doors open.” The two are distinct and separate instructions.” “We can't move off because some idiot has his hand stuck in the door.” “Please note that the beeping noise coming from the doors means that the doors are about to close. It does not mean throw yourself or your bags into the doors.” “To the gentleman wearing a long grey coat trying to get into the second carriage – what part of “stand clear of the doors” don't you understand?” From a very frustrated train-driver - “For the last time, PLEASE move ALL belongings away from the doors.....” (Pause) “This is a personal message to the man in the brown suit wearing glasses, at the rear of the train: Put the pie down, Four-eyes, and move your (expletive) golf clubs away from the door before I come down there and shove them up your (expletive) sideways!” “May I remind all passengers that there is strictly no smoking allowed on any part of the Underground. However, if you are smoking a joint, it's only fair that you pass it round the rest of the carriage.”

9 18/08/20 THERE ARE IDIOTS AMONG US!

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbour who called the Highways Department to request the removal of the “DEER CROSSING” sign from our road. His reason - “Too many deer are being hit by cars on this stretch of the road. I don't think that it is a good place for them to be crossing any more!” My daughter went to a local well-known fried-chicken outlet and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for “minimal lettuce.” The attendant said that he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce. I went to a well-known food drive-through. When I paid the bill I gave the clerk a £5 note. The bill was for £4.20, so I gave her a 20 pence piece as well. She said “You have given me too much money.” I said “Yes, I know, but this way you can give me £1 back and save your change.” She sighed, and went to the manger who asked me to repeat my request. I did so. He handed me back the 20 pence piece and said “We're sorry, but we do not do that kind of thing.” The clerk then proceeded to give me 80 pence back in change. When I arrived at my local garage to pick up my car I was told that the key had accidentally been locked inside. I went to the Service Department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's door. I tried the door-handle at the passenger side, and discovered that it was unlocked. “Hey” I announced to the mechanic “It's open.” “I know” he replied “I already did that side.” I was at the airport checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked “Has anyone put anything in your bag without you knowing?” To which I replied “If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?” He smiled knowingly and said “That's why we ask.” I had my garage door repaired. The repairman told me that one of the problems was that I did not have a large enough motor on the opener. I told him that it was the largest motor which his firm made, a half-horsepower engine. He shook his head and said “Lady, you need a quarter-horsepower engine.” I responded that a half-horsepower was more powerful than a quarter-horsepower. “Noo...” he said “it's not. Four is larger than two.” A would-be burglar got stuck in the chimney of the house he intended to rob. He was rescued by fire-crew, and arrested by police. Bursting into a Milan bank, a robber tripped over the doormat and went flying. As he did, his mask slipped and his gun went off. Quickly regaining his composure he raced towards the cashier, only to lose his footing again on the slippery floor, in the process of which he dropped his gun. Realising it was simply not his day, he abandoned the robbery and ran straight out of the bank into the arms of a waiting policeman who had just written him a ticket for parking his car illegally. A man planning to rob a Yorkshire village store reckoned that he had left nothing to chance. Armed with a toy revolver, he had his motorcycle parked outside for a quick get-away and wore a crash-helmet to mask his face. However, he had forgotten that, painted in inch-high letters around the helmet, was his name. His arrest was swift. Brenda Hayman

10 18/08/20

Kill or Cure - Don't try this at home!

My sister passed on to me a cookery book that belonged to our grandma. It's title is "The Olio Cookery Book". Apparently "Olio" means a "mixture, medley or collection". I don't know when the book was published but it claims to be the thirteenth edition, so had been around a long time. The preface includes the paragraph: The marked success which has attended the various issues proves that there is a demand for economical and practical recipes such as are to be found in its pages. This demand is daily becoming more accentuated, owing to the conditions of the time in which we live, when thrift is not so much a matter of choice as of necessity. The second sentence, and grandma's wedding date of October 1913, leads me to believe issue 13 must date to early in the first world war, but I’m sure much of the content dates to Victorian times. The book contains a section called "Invalid Recipes". I've reproduced a couple that caused me some amusement:- Asthma Remedy I have been over twenty years studying how to relieve myself of asthma, and following is the result, which gives me much pleasure to present to my fellow sufferers:- 8 ozs stramonium leaves* 2ozs belladonna 2ozs lobellia** 4 ozs tincture of opium

1 3 /2 to 4 ozs saltpetre (according to strength) 2 ozs gum camphor (powdered) First grind the herbs fine in a coffee mill. Put the saltpetre in enough hot water to thoroughly dissolve it, then add the tincture of opium. Put the herbs into a large pan and mix the liquid with them until all are thoroughly saturated then spread in a pan to dry, or if dry, in an oven. Be careful not to get hot enough to set fire to the saltpetre. Keep stirring so as to dry it regular. When dry add the camphor. Mix well, bottle and cork tight. (Now for the best bit!) Directions for using Put half a teaspoonful of the remedy on a tin box lid and set it on fire, place a handkerchief over your head to keep in the smoke and inhale. When suffering from a severe attack of asthma, in an extreme case take half a teaspoonful of the remedy, place it on a tin plate on the floor, set fire to it, seat yourself in a chair, have a thin sheet thrown over you so as to form a tent, close your eyes and inhale the smoke until it becomes painful. I have used this remedy for many years and have always found relief from it. L.A.Watkins * Datura stramonium (the Devil’s Weed or Jimson Weed) can make users hallucinate for up to 48 hours. The deadly plant is found growing in the wild across the world. Hundreds of people are killed - and thousands hospitalised - by Datura poisoning every year. ** Lobellia is toxic in high doses and can be fatal. It is still used today to treat asthma, depression and memory issues.

11 18/08/20

The next recipe, a Remedy for Boils is much simpler but possibly no less explosive:- Place one teaspoonful of gunpowder in a good thick fig. Eat one three times a day before meals till the boils disappear. N.B. - Safe and sure.

Stuart Chattle

First Aid Training (Appropriate following the last two recipes!) A note from Peter Hartley:

Lancashire Adult Learning: first-aid training course via Zoom A representative from Lancashire Adult Learning has contacted me with details of a range of online courses they intend to offer. Some of you might recall there was an event at Padiham Town Hall a while ago, sponsored by LAL, at which they were promoting their various courses. One of these, in which I expressed interest on behalf of U3A, was first-aid training and I have now been contacted by them in their attempts to rejuvenate activity against the background of the gradually reducing (?) Covid-19 situation.

Online courses in a range of activities are now being offered, including first-aid and we are asked whether our U3A would be interested in taking part. The courses are operated via Zoom or other platforms, expectation being that these would probably begin in mid-September. In addition to the first-aid training course being offered, LAL are also looking for volunteers. Going on the course does not automatically mean that you would be putting your name forward as a volunteer. If any of you are interested in first-aid can you please contact me with your details which I can then pass on to the LAL representative Craig Pollard. I have already circulated Craig's e-mail with attachments detailing all the courses they are offering and if any of these appeal to you it is of course OK for you to approach LAL directly. All I ask is that if there are enough of us within U3A to start a group for first-aid that you let me have your names so that I can approach Craig on behalf of all of us. I'd half expected we might have multiple 10s coming forward but to date I've got only 4 names (in- cluding my own!) to send to LAL for the first-aid course so if all else fails I might just have to send the 4 names to LAL so that we can join together in a group with others who approached LAL directly.

Peter Hartley

[email protected] or [email protected]

Nowt so queer .... Mehmet Esirgen, a 52 year old Turk, tried to cure his impotence with a penis transplant - using a donkey as a donor. Three times he brought home a donkey, amputated its sexual organs and appealed in vain for a doctor to perform the operation. After the third occasion his family were so fed up with him that his son shot him in the leg.

12 18/08/20 A sad ruin

Do you know or have you heard of Extwistle Hall, one of the oldest houses in Burnley? When we were first married we moved to Lanehead where we lived from 1968 to 1984. We spent a lot of time walking in the surrounding area and our wanderings sometimes took us past Extwistle Hall on the eastern outskirts of Burnley. I was always intrigued by what had obviously been a fine house but which, by then, was looking pretty neglected although still largely intact. The building seemed to be uninhabited and perhaps being used by the adjacent farm for storage. A report in 2013 said the hall had been empty for more than twenty years. When we next visited a few years ago, and again very recently, I was appalled to see that the hall is now a crumbling derelict, with much of the roof gone (apparently stone roof tiles were stolen), the front boarded up and steel fencing around. This is one of the oldest buildings in Burnley, built in the late 16thC and is Grade ll listed. In my humble opinion, it has been criminally neglected by its present owners who I understand to be a property company based in the Isle of Man. They had planned to renovate the hall but nothing has been done since the other part of their plan, to build 200 – 300 houses near , fell through. With apologies to our Local History Group, who probably know much more of its past than I do, here is a brief history of the hall.

Standing on Extwistle Moor, roughly halfway between Haggate and Worsthorne, the hall was built in 1585 by the Parker family as their home on land previously owned by Kirkstall and Newbo Abbeys until the dissolution of the monasteries. Two members of the prominent Burnley family served as High Sheriffs of Lancashire: John, in 1653, and Robert in 1710. The Parkers lived at Extwistle Hall until 1718. During the reign of Elizabeth 1 the "sport" of bullbaiting was at its height and there was a bull ring in the vicinity of the hall. It's said that the bullstone, a bulky piece of millstone grit, is now built into a nearby wall. Legend has it that, one night in the early 1700s, Captain Robert Parker attended a Jacobite meeting. It was a moonlit evening and on his way home, as he neared the hall he saw, or heard the incantations of (accounts differ) a Goblin funeral approaching. Intrigued, he hid in some bushes. As the cortège passed by his hiding place the moonlight illuminated the brass nameplate on the coffin and he was horrified to see his name on it. He took this to be a warning against his involvement with the Jacobites, withdrew his support and refused to take part in the failed 1715 uprising. In 1718 the same Captain Robert Parker, after a wet and stormy day’s shooting, returned to the hall and spread his coat in front of the fire to dry, forgetting that his powder flask was in the pocket. The powder exploded, seriously injuring him, two of his daughters, two other 13 18/08/20 women and a child. The dining room of the hall was damaged and two other rooms set on fire. Captain Parker died from his injuries a month later. (Could this have been what was foretold by the Goblin funeral?) Shortly afterwards the family abandoned the house and moved to Cuerden Hall. After that the house was used intermittently by tenant farmers. At some point it was subdivided into several dwellings. It appears to have been empty since the 1980's or 1990s. If nothing is done soon this historic house will be beyond salvation. Even now, if restoration were to take place, it is unlikely that many, if any of the original internal features could be rescued.

Sources: The Society Forum and other internet articles. Check out : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pw1V5X-rCwY for well presented drone footage of the hall as it is now.

Stuart Chattle

I hope you have enjoyed reading our seventh News-Sheet and I’d like to thank all who have contributed to it. On the following page you will find an extract from the latest “U3A Newsletter Express” issued by the U3A National Office. It describes a forthcoming project you may like to take part in, either as an individual or part of a group, looking at how the High Street is affected following the pandemic.

Please keep sending in your articles for inclusion in our next News-Sheet. I rely on them to keep it going and there were not quite so many for this issue as there have been before. Remember, without your contributions there can be no News-Sheet. Please send them to me, Stuart Chattle at: [email protected].

Stuart.

14 18/08/20 High Street Project

How is your High Street Looking?

You are being asked to take part in a ground breaking U3A- led project looking at the UK High Street.

Peter Cox from the High Street Research Project (HSRP) Steering Group said, “Shoppers’ response to the Pandemic has led to a dramatic increase in Internet shopping. This could be bad news for our High Streets.

“We want to find out, and compare the 2022 position with now. This survey will involve you walking along your local high streets and writing down details of each shop including photographs.

“First we need you to register which will help us to establish not only which Regions are taking part but also which types of shopping area we are looking at".

Find the Registration Form at:

https://u3alondonregion.wufoo.com/forms/s175dvlt040lqop/

"Participants will then receive an email around 4 September with an information pack and full instructions so they can start their recording exercise.

"Next year we will carry out similar studies so we can see how things have changed with the final pandemic impact report produced in time for the U3A 40th Anniversary in 2022".

If you questions please email Carole Chapman, Chair, National Research Sub-Committee at:

[email protected]

Thank you so much – we look forward to hearing from you.

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