The Empire Interview In conversation with My job is not to be edgy or avant-garde — I don’t care about that. Shocking is easy. My job is to be funny.”

admit that I’m a lousy interview,” writes Steve Martin — rather worryingly for any journalist who may be about to Imeet him — in his 2007 memoir, Born Standing Up. He continues: “My magician’s instincts make me reluctant to tell ’em how it’s done, whether it’s a movie, book, play or any aspect of my personal life.” Martin found fame playing a self-styled “Wild And Crazy Guy” in comedy clubs; in reality he’s anything but. In Born Standing Up, he describes a time he smoked pot On the Pink On being serious… On meeting in the 1970s. He went to a movie Panther series… “There are so many good Kubrick… theatre showing The Producers, “These zany movies are hard to dramatic actors, what’s the point? “We talked about doing Eyes had a panic attack and didn’t enter find. I’m lucky I found this series. What, am I supposed to stretch Wide Shut. I went to his house in a cinema again for a decade. His Because in what other film would or something? Big deal, you the country, we played chess, he onstage persona was a swaggering I be able to fall down a chimney or know. Done it. And I can’t say took me through his archives... livewire in a white suit — in private, jog on top of a spinning globe?” it’s really worked.” But it just evaporated.” he was a shy intellectual who meticulously planned his shows. He had his first taste of showbiz at the age of ten, when he got a many of the scripts himself. “He’s one of my comedy idols,” Martin: You know, it’s funny. If job at Disneyland, discovered an If the ’80s were his golden decade, says de Semlyen, “but I have to you’d asked me last year, I would emporium within called Merlin’s the years since have been a little admit that his reputation for have said, “No, I hate it.” I was Magic Shop and learned his first rockier. Personal projects, like prickliness with the press had made a little bit under the weather. I had tricks. Soon he was performing, and , Leap Of Faith or me a bit anxious about the meet. really bad neck pain and I felt old. finding he enjoyed making audiences (based on his own novel), I needn’t have worried. Sipping iced But this year, I don’t know why, laugh more than making them gasp. have tended to fare poorly at the box tea, wearing a pinstripe suit offset but I’m in a better mood. Born Standing Up wittily recalls office. Meanwhile, critics and many by yellow-and-grey stripy socks, Empire: You were feeling bad the lean years — the poverty, the long-term fans have railed at him for Martin was low-key and short about yourself? hecklers, the empty venues — before turning out cheapjack family fare on jokes, but also pleasant and Martin: Not about myself — I was his act blew up and he found himself such as Cheaper By The Dozen and engaging. A challenging interview, just feeling bad. I was in pretty rocking stadium crowds. Bringing Down The House. Of late, yes; a lousy one, no.” much constant pain and doing Martin’s book ends with him on his most rewarding work has often stunts on the movie that I was the cusp of global stardom. But been away from the big screen — his Martin: When did you fly in? worried about. The discomfort there’s far more to his story. Having erudite essays for The New Yorker, empire: Last night. with my neck started, I think, on conquered live comedy, he went on his books, his frequent hosting stints Martin: Oh my God. And you’re Cheaper By The Dozen, where to make some of the funniest films on Saturday Night Live. feeling it? You know, I travel so I had to fly through the air and of the ’80s, including Roxanne, In February, however, Martin much... A friend of mine, Diane land on a cushion sideways. But ¡! and Planes, Trains returns to the multiplex as Inspector Sawyer, who’s a news reporter now I’m fine. I’ve found that & Automobiles. And he was no mere Clouseau in The Pink Panther 2. here, travels all the time and she everything goes away. Your knee star-for-hire — the same quest for Empire sent News Editor Nick says, “I’m in permanent jetlag.” hurts, your this hurts... and then 0123456789 perfection that once led him to de Semlyen to New York’s That’s what I’ve got, too. two years later it’s all gone. obsessively study audiotapes of his Waldorf-Astoria hotel to face Empire: Do you enjoy promoting Empire: Why put yourself through stand-up routines saw him hone the 63 year-old legend. your films like this? it with such a demanding film? ››

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chris buck/corbis outline (1) fail you? Martin: Empire: Martin: Empire: Martin: Empire: Martin: Empire: Martin: Martin: Empire: yourself... you did so muchthe action of pronounce the word? relentlessly try and fail to “hamburger” sequence, where you for the the reprise first of film’s much did you actually contribute? who worked on the film. How I don’t know how those scenes are a ad-libbinglot of going on and to be politically correct). There was a therapist trying to teach Clouseau Tomlin in this one (Tomlin plays worried about the scenes with Lily turn out to be the funniest scene. what are we making?” And it did you— if cut the funniest scene, the movie! We’re making a comedy “You can’t cut the funniest scene in this. It’s too expensive.” I said, people all said, “We’ve got to cut to run across a freeway. The studio a scene where Eddie Murphy has hamburger”...? In Bowfinger there’s “Hamburger hamburger executive and you’re just reading, see it.” you’reBut if a studio it will be funny. You just have to explain to someone: “I really think hamburger...” It’s very hard to like, “Hamburger hamburger things that on paper just looks stuff. (Laughs) It’s those one of night? Does it say me? a credit for this. Did you see it last but I don’t even knowI haveif first one I shared screen credit, beginning, for example. On the heavily. I wrote the whole but not enough to slow me down. (Laughs) Enough to cause pain, it. because But of only slightly. a spinning globe? I can’t imagine it. down a chimney or jog on top of other film would I be able to fall I found this series. Because in what to justify the slapstick. I’m lucky difficult to come up with something attempting to do that. But it’s ’90s — Bowfinger — which was to find, you know. I did one in the or more extreme movies are hard I love doing that stuff. These zany to use my physical chops. And movies are a great opportunity march 2009 march It’s pretty amazing that Do your instincts ever I take it you’re responsible Yes. You’re three one writers of Oh yeah. I’m still a little Yeah. I really like that It does? That’s fair. I’d say I contributed Yeah, I was a little bit beat Well, these Pink Panther EMPIRE

Martin: Empire: doing it professionally. more interesting than when you’re something as a hobby, it’s much a hobby. And when you’re doing never viewed it as my income. It’s a movie. It’s great. Because I’ve or in my trailer while I’m doing I can write anywhere — on a plane go somewhere else. But otherwise computer and take it downstairs or distracting. So I need to pick up my mess. It’s got all stuff over it and it’s write at my desk. My desk is a friends you run material by? down ideas for monologue jokes. January and I’m already scribbling Saturday Night Live again in you this?”think of I’m hosting do you this? think Whatof do always emailing each other: “What monologues, Tom Hanks and I are other people. In comedy terms of I’m going to do. There are a few he’s going to do, and I’ll send stuff doing something he’ll send me what I always exchange ideas. he’s If Martin: Empire: want to be sliding around. scene is so important. You don’t the shoot. of Because the opening scene in the middle or at the end director that we shoot the opening you’re not. I always suggest to the ready on the first day, and normally one. I was much more at ease. I was this film is funnier than the first point. (Laughs) But I really believe you were probably snoring by that Oh, you were just the off plane, so going to play. What did you think? writing conditions? these days. What are your ideal as much a writer as a performer articles on the top scripts,of you’re is interesting or not — but I cannot And I found — I don’t knowthis if and all I need is a little quiet. bit of joy. I usually write in the afternoon motivated. I’m motivatedIf it’s a 2am and you’re exhausted.” not a fun thing when it’sget into my room. But Iit’s did have girls trying“When to I was a stand-up, Do you have trusted With novels and newspaper Yes. Marty Short and Well, first I have to be

as a rich recluse a dig at that? recent guest-star role on 30 Rock for being very private. Was your with the wife. time for friends, dinner at home really reserved for recreation, And friends. The evenings are Empire: Martin: Empire: Martin: your downtime? to the action part it loses me. beginnings, and then when it gets films. I’m always interested in the I lose sort interest of with action Ledger, right? — but I’ll see it. yet — that’s the one with Heath I haven’t seen the Batman one Slumdog Millionaire, we liked that. theatre. This year I’ve loved Milk. quality is as good as going to the a nice projector TV, it’s HD and the nearly everything at home. I have the movies, we’ve been watching now home theatre is as good as we get Academy screeners. And watching more recently. First off, Empire: Martin: Empire: things tend to distract you? heart of Beverlyheart of Hills. You can even ramble right in the Angeles. I love the National Forest. routes and trails around Los I’m in if LA. There’s little lots of riding a bikeI’m here,if or hiking involve pleasurable exercise. Like distractions... Well, they usually thatout of racket. Other doing that. It’s so easy. So I got I’d be stupid not to think they’re have you got? Okay, raise him!”? other: “I’ve got a aces.pair of What there on the phone talking to each I don’t think people are sitting was I thinking? Am I so naive that And then I thought later, “What they stopped taking credit cards. (Laughs) I don’t do it anymore — addiction to internet poker. You have a reputation How else do you spend Do you watch many films? Aside from clutter, what Music — the banjo. It turns out I’ve been I used to have a terrible

Do people hassle you? them nothing. Martin: Empire: Martin: Empire: Martin: Martin: Empire: Martin: Empire: Martin: Empire: Martin: Empire: that situation? that now? caps or other disguises? girls screaming at you? celebrity aura to it”... place in public had a freakish every ordinary action that took you write that suddenly “almost to be treated like a rock star, and ’70s you became the first comedian about the dark fame.side of In the is videoing you. It’s horrible. suddenly you realise that some guy walking down the street and it. I mean, imagine it: you’re no interest. there’sStringfield.) If only one, former (Martin got married last year to there’s two celebrities involved. interested in your romantic life if early on: the tabloids are only anyway. Here’s something I learned But I lead an uninteresting life be, and I choose not to go to them. certain events where the media will have whetherchoices of to go to the paparazzi, which I don’t. You you can make accessible yourself to reclusive, but I don’t... You know, that was just the part show.of the whole audience roaring. But at them. now, and not have girls screaming you know? They can go around quietened down for The Beatles, down. I mean, it eventually the conversation with a celebrity. give you real conversations, not gravitate towards the people who conversation?” And eventually you conversation, or is this a fake sensation: “Am I having a real always this strange, metaphysical no interest in at all. So there’s the famous part, which I have interested in — or cowed by — you’re meeting. They’re really insincerity in a the lot people of you’re famous, there’s a level of the baseball cap. much anymore — I got rid of New Yorker staffer Anne How do you handle How about the public? Didn’t you at one time have Have you got past In your book you talk Do you wear baseball I don’t speak. I give Occasionally. Sure. I hate I guess so. I’m not Not so much girls, more Things have quietened Yeah. (Long pause) If Sometimes. Not so www.empireonline.com

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The Empire Interview

Subscribe at empireonline.com/sub EMPIRE march 2009 [[2R]] Empire: Have you ever attracted there were a lot of bad nights, there’s another of my books, The I know what you’re doing.” It was groupies? and I wrote a bit about particular Pleasure Of My Company, that really nice, a big moment for me. Martin: When I started playing ones in the book, but the abiding there’s interest in. But I don’t really Empire: Have you ever thought stadiums, I did have girls trying memory is of the cumulative travel care about turning them into about doing another story with to get into my room a couple of and sort of self-imposed loneliness. movies. I thought I did, but then ? times. But it wasn’t a fun thing like I remember every bad review. I can realised I don’t. It’s not a big deal. Martin: There was always a you’d imagine. You don’t want still remember the pain of doing Why would it be? It’s already movement to do another. But that someone knocking at your door at a lousy show and feeling just awful. a book. A novelist — I can’t came up at a time in my life when 2am when you’re exhausted and But I didn’t have anything else to remember who it was — said to me, I was so tired of what I was doing, trying to get to sleep. do. I had no options. So that was “They took your novel and they I couldn’t bring myself to do it. But Empire: When did that last happen? what I was doing. ruined it! They ruined it!” And then later I thought, “Gee, I hope Martin: I’d say... 1978. Empire: You had no Plan B? I said, “No they didn’t. Look, I make a movie where we can do Empire: You’ve described the Martin: No. It was this or nothing. it’s right there.” sequels,” and I’m glad it’s happened period of your life when you were I thought, “If I don’t try, I’ll Empire: Aside from your debut, with the Pink Panther series. It’s doing stand-up as “the war years”. wonder my whole life.” Although The Jerk, you don’t go into your my favourite type of movie to do Is there some seriousness to that? I did think about teaching for a Hollywood experiences in the a sequel on, because it’s so based Martin: Well, certainly. When you while. When I was in college I’d book. How come? on gags. And I love gags. With start out as a comedian, failure sit in class and think, “That could Martin: Well, when I started it, Cheaper By The Dozen 2, it was, dominates. You’re still learning, be interesting.” I didn’t know where to stop. “Okay, we have a hit movie — let’s so you’re failing more often than Empire: What would you have I thought about it and decided, follow it up.” But with this, I really you’re succeeding. And there’s taught? “I don’t want to write about the hope there’s a third. this horrible thing that happens Martin: Back then I was interested ’80s.” It would just be, “I did Empire: Going back to this in comedy — one night you do in philosophy. I’m still interested a movie and then I did another mythical Jerk sequel, was there fantastic and go, “Thank you, in it today, but not at that level. movie and then I did another ever a story treatment? God!”, then the next night you Martin: I don’t think so. Although stink. There’s no logic to it. So I did actually write something. I call them the war years because There was a funny opening... I was travelling around and “You know, I view The Jerk “I couldn’t make the payment on feeling lonely and isolated. It my land...” No, that’s not it. (Slowly was a tough time. remembering) “My mother couldn’t Empire: It took a long time for as successful, but not The make the payment on her land... people to latch on to your style and the bank came with a tractor... of comedy, which was radical Man With Two Brains. and scooped it up and put it in a in that you basically got rid of barn.” (Laughs) We talked about it punchlines... I don’t look at it and think, in the ’80s but we never did it. Martin: It did take a long time Empire: It’s a shame. I think a lot to catch on, but then it also took of your fans would like to see you a long time to develop. When ‘Wow, that’s really funny.’” go back to your early style, the you’re doing three shows a night, edgier kind of comedy... six nights a week, you start to get Martin: Well, I always go, “What experience. You can’t really help Nowadays I prefer to read science movie.” You know? But there is does that mean?” What’s edgy? but improve. So I’m actually glad journals. In the early 20th century, something about the genesis of Is The Jerk edgy? the timing worked out like it did. philosophy deeply influenced something that is worth talking Empire: I think so. My act caught on at just the right science, and now I think science about. It’s before you make it. Martin: Maybe you’re right. You time, when I was ready. has taken over from philosophy. That’s the stuff people with know, I view The Jerk as successful, Empire: How many years of failure Empire: You also have a lifelong aspirations in showbusiness but I don’t view The Man With were there before success? interest in art... really want to know about. Two Brains as successful. I don’t Martin: I had success as a writer Martin: Yes. My new novel is Empire: Why do you think you look at it and think, “Wow, that’s 0123456789 on TV shows when I was 21. But actually set in the art world of New made it big with your very really funny.” success as a stand-up really only York. It’s probably two years from first film? Empire: Really? It’s hilarious. came after I was 30. Before that coming out — I’m only halfway Martin: I credit Carl Reiner. He Martin: It may be. I don’t know. through, no title, no nothing. But was part of a comedy group that But anyway, with the edgy thing, art’s been an interest since the age I loved and we just hit it off. He I just do what I do as I go along. of 20, when I was at college. I had taught me about the importance I guess I’ve changed course a Yo u r Q a friend who was an artist, and he of story. For The Jerk I was just little. But does edgy today mean Where did the ¡Three got me into it. As I travelled writing gag after gag, and he scatological? Because that’s what Amigos! salute come from? around the country touring, I’d go shaped it into a story. He gave a lot of so-called edgy movies are. Brian “El Guapo” Lee, to antique stores and galleries and it structure. (Pause) There were a And I have no interest in it. Borat via email look at paintings. During the night lot of people who didn’t like that is an exception — I thought Borat We just made it up. Martin, Chevy I’d play shows, so during the day movie, though. I remember being was fantastic, funny and edgy. But and I got together before the shoot I’d be doing that. It was a kind of in Hawaii at the end of the ’70s I couldn’t do that. Sacha [Baron and workshopped out that little solace for me. Something to do. for a promotional event. The Jerk Cohen] developed it, that’s his routine. We laughed all the time. Empire: Your first novel, Shopgirl, had just come out and was very thing, that’s unique. But aside from The three of us really got along. got a movie adaptation recently, controversial at the time. And Peter that I don’t think I’ve seen a good And no, I don’t remember whose starring yourself. Were you happy Sellers came up to me at this event edgy comedy for a long time. idea it was to add the hip thrust. with the result? and said, “I know you’re under I mean, what would you give

allstar (4), aquarius allstar (1) Martin: It came out okay. And a lot of criticism right now, but as an example?

[[1L]] march 2009 EMPIRE www.empireonline.com The Empire Interview

Empire: How about Knocked Up or Superbad? Martin: Oh, I think those are really funny. But that’s because they’re The Top 5 really well performed. But edgy? I don’t know... Are they? Empire: They’re bad-taste... Martin: Well, bad-taste is different from edgy. That’s really for them. I’d look stupid doing that kind of Steve movie, I think. In any case, I think the Pink Panther movies are funny. And that’s my job. My job is not to be edgy or avant-garde — I don’t care about that. My job is to be funny. I think it’s really easy to Martin shock. And I did that all the time in my stand-up routines. That’s where that began. But I realised as I got older that it’s easy to be edgy. It’s much harder to make a solid comedy without relying on that Movies stuff. I think I put that edginess selected by simon crook into my writing now. Empire: One constant in your career is that most of your characters, right up to Inspector Clouseau, are full of themselves. Is arrogance the funniest thing for you? Martin: I think it is. We had a comedian here called Jack Benny, and if you listed his qualities you’d say, “This guy’s terrible!” Stingy, abrasive, arrogant, paranoid — The Spanish The Jerk (1979) Parenthood I believe those are the ingredients Prisoner (1997) Martin’s first ever crack (1989) of a great comic character. When 5 Throw Martin a dramatic 4 at leading loon packs the 3 While Gil Buckman’s sour you can make that beloved, you’ve role and you can guarantee he’ll essence of his stand-up persona relationship with his dad (Jason got gold. It’s not niceness that catch a conflicted character. into the dungarees of man-child Robards) seems drawn from makes characters likable. And I use Unsurprisingly, the best Serious Navin R. Johnson, a poor “black” experience (Martin’s own father The Silence Of The Lambs as an Steve sees him playing a creepy kid who, despite not knowing shit was a glacial man), the comic example — at the end of the movie, little chameleon, Jimmy Dell, from Shinola, finds fame and fortune highlights are straight out of his when Anthony Hopkins goes off to a cold-hearted fraud lurking behind as inventor of “the Opti-Grab”. The stand-up — check out his unhinged kill his nemesis, you kinda like him. a nice-guy mask in David Mamet’s thin plot is amply compensated for kids’ entertainer Cowboy Dan Empire: The Jerk is a nice guy, trickloaded conman thriller. by Martin’s contagious buffoonery. (“Your lower intestines!”). though, and he’s likable. Martin: He’s naive. I would call it naive. Yeah. Empire: Looking back over your body of work to date, what are your overall impressions? Martin: I wish I could do a lot of things different. I’m not going to tell you what they are, but if I had a list of all my films right now, I’d go, “Okay, I’ll cross that one out and cross that one out and cross that one out and cross that one out.” Really. But I’ve made over Roxanne (1987) 40 films. How can I not have some Martin’s not just a gifted physical comedian (1983) losers in there, you know? 2 — his writing’s equally acrobatic. So if recent 1 The primer for any Martin newbie and, for a film Empire: And The Man With absurdist collections like recast him as the about a neurosurgeon in love with a brain in a jar, Two Brains would really be one West Coast Woody Allen, this is easily his Annie Hall, cheerfully devoid of intelligent life. What it does have you’d erase? a rom-com adapted from Cyrano de Bergerac that’s is the atomic-powered lunacy of Dr. Hfuhruhurr, Martin: Uh... Tell you what, if both cerebral and stupid. The 25 “big nose” jokes in pinballing through a stupidscape of Pythonesque you like it, I’ll keep my pen off it. under two minutes hit a mighty comedy bullseye. nonsense, bunny ears, ironic smut and killer zingers. I don’t dislike it. I haven’t seen it in a long time, but I know it had ››

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a little cult following. I don’t think to be careful about revisiting past his arm) filled with racks and filing — that was serious and it was okay. it was received very well. But I had glories. It always sounds like boxes marked “Hostile Press”. He To me, movies are comedy. I think a really good time making it, a good idea, but nobody’s ever kept tabs on all the critics. But in comedy is an artistic endeavour, working with Carl (Reiner, the really that interested. It’s like 1980, ’81, whenever it was, he said but as far as my real artistic life director). And Dead Men Don’t when an aged rock band get back to me, “I was just reviewing a print goes, it’s in writing. Wear Plaid I really enjoyed together. And we never really of 2001.” I mean, he was still Empire: You’ve hosted the Oscars making. (Pause) Sometimes worked together that much anyway. checking prints before he’d let them twice. Are you disappointed that pictures grow as time goes on and Dan I did a movie with. Rick be sent out — every single print. you’ve never been nominated sometimes they lessen, you know? Moranis I did three with. Loved Empire: How close do you think for one? Empire: So what do you think him. I don’t know where Rick is. your version of Eyes Wide Shut Martin: You know, there was still stands up? He sort of quit showbusiness. would have been to the eventual a time — like, in the ’80s — when Martin: I like the insult scene in Empire: A few entries on your Tom Cruise one? I really wanted one. And then Roxanne. I love Ruprecht from filmography stick out. One is Martin: Quite different, I suspect. I realised, “Oh, they don’t give Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. Ruprecht Dennis Potter musical Pennies Kubrick described all his films Oscars to comedians.” I thought, the Monkey Boy is one of my From Heaven, which confounded as comedies. Dr. Strangelove “Oh, that’s fine,” and then I lost all favourite things. The scene people when it came out... was a serious book but he saw it interest in it. I’m totally at peace I always think of is the one at Martin: I loved doing Pennies as a comedy. Lolita he saw as a with the whole thing now. the dinner table. Because we had From Heaven. Because you comedy. And so for this project he Empire: What’s the experience nothing — we went in that morning have to understand that I’d been was looking for comic people and of hosting like? with no material. I thought up the doing comedy for 15 to 20 years, thought I might be the right guy. Martin: The first time was a cork gag, which still tickles me. and suddenly along came the I read the book, Rhapsody (by kind of nervousness, you know? Like, it takes a little route: “Why’s opportunity to do this beautiful Arthur Schnitzler), I liked it and And then the second time was he got the cork on his fork?” “Well, film. It was so emotional to me. wanted to make the movie. But it completely fine. I mean, by the so he won’t hurt himself.” (Mimes I loved it. I don’t think it was just evaporated. time I hosted the Oscars I’d done stabbing himself violently in the a good career move, but I have Empire: When you have appeared so much live work that it wasn’t eye) It explains the eye-patch... no regrets about doing it. in dramas, you’ve been superb. too big a step. But it’s a huge (Smiles) I don’t know, I just love Empire: Is it true you met with Why not do more? amount of work. If I were hosting that sequence. And the thing about Stanley Kubrick at around the Martin: I loved doing The Spanish these next Oscars, I wouldn’t be going to the bathroom, I used to same time? Prisoner. But with the exception of able to talk to you now — I’d do in my act. “Excuse me, I have Martin: I did, to talk about doing that one — I was thinking about be thinking about it. And I don’t to go to the bathroom...” (Makes Eyes Wide Shut. I was in England this the other day — every serious want to be distracted for two euphoric relieving-himself face) to guest on either Jonathan Ross or film I’ve done has been promoted months. That’s all that’s going on And by the way, that movie was Parkinson — it was Parkinson — in some way as a comedy. And it in your head for that whole time, one of the most fun experiences and Kubrick called me the next destroys the film. Take Leap Of buzzing away. I’ll be talking to of my life. Michael Caine was day. I had just come over and my Faith. It had a funny... well, not a someone but thinking, “Oscars, hilarious, Glenne Headly, Frank comedy was really developed funny poster but a big, glamorous Oscars, Oscars...” Oz... we all just got along. We were outside of England — it was one. There was no indication it was Empire: What’s the pressure like shooting in the south of France unknown there at that time. And so a serious film and the audience got on the actual day? and it would get dark at 10pm and he saw me on TV, called me up and turned off. But you can’t convince Martin: I was anxious. And also we’d wrap at seven and have dinner said, “I was just sitting there and ’em not to do it. So that’s why the second time it was on the day 0123456789 outdoors. It was just paradise. thought, ‘Oh, that’s who I need for I kinda gave up on it. I mean, I’m that the Iraq war started. It was Empire: How about your cameo this movie.’” I went to his house in doing a movie next year with Meryl horrifying. But I’m glad I did it. in Little Shop Of Horrors, where the country, we played chess, he Streep (in which he’ll feud with Alec I’m really glad I did it. That said, you play a deranged dentist set on took me through his archives... One Baldwin for Streep’s affections). I don’t feel the need to do it again. removing Bill Murray’s teeth? thing I remember from the archives It’s a comedy, but it’s a real role. Empire: So what’s left for you Martin: Well, that was all Frank was a room this big (motions with Empire: Have you been offered to do? Oz — Frank put so much care into dramatic roles like cops, lawyers Martin: I’m just going to keep that movie. And Bill Murray is or serial killers? going. I don’t know what’s next. great. I always think, “Where is Q Martin: No. No. But even if I was, Right now I have three very he?” You know, he should be doing Yo u r there are so many good dramatic satisfying projects I’m working on: a movie a year. He’s so good. Is it true you love Doctor actors, what’s the point? What, am there’s my banjo record — Beverly Empire: Do you ever talk to Who and have met all I supposed to stretch or something? Hills Banjo — which is almost done, him, or Dan Aykroyd, or Chevy the Time Lords? Big deal, you know. Done it. there’s the book, and this movie, Chase, about doing another John Marrs, vie email And I can’t say it’s really worked. which I’m very pleased with. movie together? Who? Who’s Doctor Who? Never Although I liked playing in Spanish Empire: And you’re still certain Martin: Well, with Bill, I don’t even heard of him. I hear a lot of things Prisoner. I don’t know if there’s... you’ll never do a live show again? know how to reach him. I’ve heard that are misattributed. This is a minor You know, movies are so expensive, Martin: To do stand-up you have even his agent can’t reach him. example, but someone came up to you have to have the audience go. to do it every night. That’s my Empire: He’s turning into Marlon me years ago and said, “Hi! I’m And would they go if I was playing belief, anyway. And why would Brando. a friend of Richard Johnson!” I said, a cop? I don’t think so. I want to do that? Travel around Martin: Yeah. (Laughs) Dan lives “Who’s Richard Johnson?” They Empire: How about Bill Murray? town every night? I’d rather stay in Canada now, though I think he said, “Whaaat?! You don’t know It’s worked for him. home and write. might have moved to LA... But Richard Johnson? He’s a big friend Martin: He has a gift, though. He’s [email protected] yeah, I just saw him at a fundraiser of yours! He sold you your dog!” a unique talent. Like, could I have three months ago. We’re completely I didn’t have a dog. So things get done Lost In Translation? Yeah, ›› The Pink Panther 2 is out friendly — he’s a lot of fun, a big, out that I can’t understand. but it wouldn’t have been as good on February 21 and is reviewed happy guy. But I think you have as he did it, I think. I did Shopgirl on page 48.

[[1L]] march 2009 EMPIRE www.empireonline.com