The Empire Interview In conversation with Steve Martin My job is not to be edgy or avant-garde — I don’t care about that. Shocking is easy. My job is to be funny.” admit that I’m a lousy interview,” writes Steve Martin — rather worryingly for any journalist who may be about to Imeet him — in his 2007 memoir, Born Standing Up. He continues: “My magician’s instincts make me reluctant to tell ’em how it’s done, whether it’s a movie, book, play or any aspect of my personal life.” Martin found fame playing a self-styled “Wild And Crazy Guy” in comedy clubs; in reality he’s anything but. In Born Standing Up, he describes a time he smoked pot On the Pink On being serious… On meeting in the 1970s. He went to a movie Panther series… “There are so many good Kubrick… theatre showing The Producers, “These zany movies are hard to dramatic actors, what’s the point? “We talked about doing Eyes had a panic attack and didn’t enter find. I’m lucky I found this series. What, am I supposed to stretch Wide Shut. I went to his house in a cinema again for a decade. His Because in what other film would or something? Big deal, you the country, we played chess, he onstage persona was a swaggering I be able to fall down a chimney or know. Done it. And I can’t say took me through his archives... livewire in a white suit — in private, jog on top of a spinning globe?” it’s really worked.” But it just evaporated.” he was a shy intellectual who meticulously planned his shows. He had his first taste of showbiz at the age of ten, when he got a many of the scripts himself. “He’s one of my comedy idols,” MaRtIn: You know, it’s funny. If job at Disneyland, discovered an If the ’80s were his golden decade, says de Semlyen, “but I have to you’d asked me last year, I would emporium within called Merlin’s the years since have been a little admit that his reputation for have said, “No, I hate it.” I was Magic Shop and learned his first rockier. Personal projects, like prickliness with the press had made a little bit under the weather. I had tricks. Soon he was performing, and Bowfinger, Leap Of Faith or me a bit anxious about the meet. really bad neck pain and I felt old. finding he enjoyed making audiences Shopgirl (based on his own novel), I needn’t have worried. Sipping iced But this year, I don’t know why, laugh more than making them gasp. have tended to fare poorly at the box tea, wearing a pinstripe suit offset but I’m in a better mood. Born Standing Up wittily recalls office. Meanwhile, critics and many by yellow-and-grey stripy socks, EMPIRE: You were feeling bad the lean years — the poverty, the long-term fans have railed at him for Martin was low-key and short about yourself? hecklers, the empty venues — before turning out cheapjack family fare on jokes, but also pleasant and MaRtIn: Not about myself — I was his act blew up and he found himself such as Cheaper By The Dozen and engaging. A challenging interview, just feeling bad. I was in pretty rocking stadium crowds. Bringing Down The House. Of late, yes; a lousy one, no.” much constant pain and doing Martin’s book ends with him on his most rewarding work has often stunts on the movie that I was the cusp of global stardom. But been away from the big screen — his MaRtIn: When did you fly in? worried about. The discomfort there’s far more to his story. Having erudite essays for The New Yorker, EMPIRE: Last night. with my neck started, I think, on conquered live comedy, he went on his books, his frequent hosting stints MaRtIn: Oh my God. And you’re Cheaper By The Dozen, where to make some of the funniest films on Saturday Night Live. feeling it? You know, I travel so I had to fly through the air and of the ’80s, including Roxanne, In February, however, Martin much... A friend of mine, Diane land on a cushion sideways. But ¡Three Amigos! and Planes, Trains returns to the multiplex as Inspector Sawyer, who’s a news reporter now I’m fine. I’ve found that & Automobiles. And he was no mere Clouseau in The Pink Panther 2. here, travels all the time and she everything goes away. Your knee star-for-hire — the same quest for Empire sent News Editor Nick says, “I’m in permanent jetlag.” hurts, your this hurts... and then 0123456789 perfection that once led him to de Semlyen to New York’s That’s what I’ve got, too. two years later it’s all gone. obsessively study audiotapes of his Waldorf-Astoria hotel to face EMPIRE: Do you enjoy promoting EMPIRE: Why put yourself through stand-up routines saw him hone the 63 year-old legend. your films like this? it with such a demanding film? ›› Subscribe at empireonline.com/sub EMPIRE march 2009 [[1R]] MaRtIn: Well, these Pink Panther going to play. What did you think? EMPIRE: Aside from clutter, what MaRtIn: I guess so. I’m not movies are a great opportunity Oh, you were just off the plane, so things tend to distract you? reclusive, but I don’t... You know, to use my physical chops. And you were probably snoring by that MaRtIn: I used to have a terrible you can make yourself accessible to I love doing that stuff. These zany point. (Laughs) But I really believe addiction to internet poker. the paparazzi, which I don’t. You or more extreme movies are hard this film is funnier than the first (Laughs) I don’t do it anymore — have choices of whether to go to to find, you know. I did one in the one. I was much more at ease. I was they stopped taking credit cards. certain events where the media will ’90s — Bowfinger — which was ready on the first day, and normally And then I thought later, “What be, and I choose not to go to them. attempting to do that. But it’s you’re not. I always suggest to the was I thinking? Am I so naive that But I lead an uninteresting life difficult to come up with something director that we shoot the opening I don’t think people are sitting anyway. Here’s something I learned to justify the slapstick. I’m lucky scene in the middle or at the end there on the phone talking to each early on: the tabloids are only I found this series. Because in what of the shoot. Because the opening other: “I’ve got a pair of aces. What interested in your romantic life if other film would I be able to fall scene is so important. You don’t have you got? Okay, raise him!”? there’s two celebrities involved. down a chimney or jog on top of want to be sliding around. I’d be stupid not to think they’re (Martin got married last year to a spinning globe? I can’t imagine it. EMPIRE: With novels and newspaper doing that. It’s so easy. So I got former New Yorker staffer Anne EMPIRE: It’s pretty amazing that articles on top of the scripts, you’re out of that racket. Other Stringfield.) If there’s only one, you did so much of the action as much a writer as a performer distractions... Well, they usually no interest. yourself... these days. What are your ideal involve pleasurable exercise. Like EMPIRE: How about the public? MaRtIn: Yeah, I was a little bit beat writing conditions? riding a bike if I’m here, or hiking Do people hassle you? because of it. But only slightly. MaRtIn: Well, first I have to be if I’m in LA. There’s lots of little MaRtIn: Occasionally. Sure. I hate (Laughs) Enough to cause pain, motivated. If I’m motivated it’s a routes and trails around Los it. I mean, imagine it: you’re but not enough to slow me down. joy. I usually write in the afternoon Angeles. I love the National Forest. walking down the street and EMPIRE: You’re one of three writers and all I need is a little bit of quiet. You can even ramble right in the suddenly you realise that some guy who worked on the film. How And I found — I don’t know if this heart of Beverly Hills. is videoing you. It’s horrible. much did you actually contribute? is interesting or not — but I cannot EMPIRE: Do you watch many films? EMPIRE: How do you handle MaRtIn: I’d say I contributed that situation? heavily. I wrote the whole MaRtIn: I don’t speak. I give beginning, for example. On the them nothing. first one I shared screen credit, “When I was a stand-up, EMPIRE: Do you wear baseball but I don’t even know if I have caps or other disguises? a credit for this. Did you see it last I did have girls trying to MaRtIn: Sometimes. Not so night? Does it say me? much anymore — I got rid of EMPIRE: Yes. get into my room. But it’s the baseball cap. MaRtIn: It does? That’s fair. EMPIRE: In your book you talk EMPIRE: I take it you’re responsible about the dark side of fame.