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$3 Relax, Turn Around, And Take Our Hand.... $3 The Committed Indian The REal Fan’s Program secondcityhockey.com December 10th, 2008 [email protected] OTTAWA, I DON’T THINK SO... The Window is Closed, So No One switch to Alex Auld 11 games ago. Though Fart Auld has been pretty solid, the Sens are only To this evening, and the visit of 4-4-3 in those games. Scoring problems are the Ottawa Senators. Those of you with to blame (true in life as in hockey). Ottawa is good seats tonight will notice the Senators fourth from bottom in goals per game. This are home to some of the more disturbing from a team that used to score more than mustaches in the league. Chris Kelly, Dan- Justin Timberlake armed with roofies. Mike iel Alfredsson, and Alex Picard look like they Fisher and Antoine Vermette -- usually reli- “Coming in from Phoenix? You better believe came straight from stalking the playground. able second-line scorers in seasons past -- that’s a paddlin’!” Maybe the Senators are trying to prop open have five goals combined. their rapidly shutting championship window Lack of scoring has exposed the When the Hawks score more times by creeping out their opponents. blue line of the Sens. There wasn’t much than the Bears do on a Sunday, we just as- Ottawa used to be one of the premier depth here thanks to free agent defections. sume it’s the usual, abysmal outing from the teams in the league, but no more. Remem- Volchenkov and Phillips, the top pair, have Bears offense. Not the case 3 days ago, as ber what we said about Anaheim? About how been below par, and haven’t been bailed out the Bears scored four times (three TD’s and a they’re a one-line team? Well, it applies to on the other end. Together, they’re -17, or FG). But they were surpassed by the Hawks in the Sens just as well. There’s the Pizza Line -2.88 in Behind the Net Ratings. Ottawa is just 28 minutes, who dented twine six times (Alfredsson-Spezza-Heatley, and we as- still solid defensively though, fourth best in at that point. The Hawks put up their biggest sume they call them that because they always goals allowed per game. slaughter of an opponent all year, and their deliver. But why you’d want to link Heatley to Hartsburg? Try Zantac biggest win at the UC since...Phoenix was in anything having to do with driving, we have Ottawa used to play a free and open town last November. No wonder Gretzky’s va- no idea. Perhaps The Drunken Drag Racing style that suited the Hawks. They’re also gina was throbbing after the game. Thanks to Line wasn’t subtle enough?), and then there’s not all that physical, which suits the Hawks his sore female genitalia, the Hawks will have everyone else. Each of the three is averaging even more. Hartsburg has tried to tone that to go without Kris VerStud tonight. He earned a point per game. The next highest scoring freewheeling style down a bit, and the Sena- a one game suspension for landing a couple forward is Jarkko Ruutu. If Ruutu is among tors have been more solid at the back. But rights on Kyle Turris’s face, and Gretzky’s your scoring leaders, you have Blagojevich- they don’t score a whole lot, and don’t have wounded pride. sized problems. a lot of threats. The same effort we saw over It’s hard to pinpoint what we liked Not helping the cause was a goalten- the weekend should be more than enough to most about Sunday’s effort, but we’ll try. ding controversy to start the season. Mar- overcome this group. We’ll go with the play of the Hawks third line tin Gerber was, unsurprisingly, puke-tastic. -The Attorney General of Havlat-Bolland-Ladd. They’ve been the Coach Craig Hartsburg made the permanent best forwards for the three games they’ve been put together. That includes one game where Havlat appeared to play in a giant sulk worthy of a suburban teenage girl for the insult of playing with Bolland and Ladd. He then proceeded to score the tying goal against Anaheim anyway. The three have combined for 14 points in the past three games. They’re also +10. If this continues, the Hawks could boast three lines that can hurt opponents. Anyone remember the last time we said that? Bolland’s game continues to grow and grow. He had been a solid -- if not spectacular -- defensive center for the first part of the year. The last 11 games he has 10 points. He’s always been fast, but the hands and vision are starting to follow suit. We cite the sweet dish to Ladd in Detroit as an example of all of it coming together. People may forget that Bolland’s numbers in Juniors are Kane-like. He put up 97 and 104 points in two years for the London Knights. He’s got tons of talent The development of Bolland has been one of the most satisfying aspects of this season, and long may it continue. “Uh, no Dale, they’re not interviewing for your job. They’re just uh, um, laid off employees from General Motors. Yeah, that’s it.” MUSINGS FROM THE EDITOR -Strange Thoughts On This Nervous Night: As most of you prob- all the decisions. If it’s true that he’s not making all the moves, ably have heard, it’s been reported that McDonough is eyeing the then maybe he should get out with his dignity intact. But this is garbage chute in the hallway and wondering if Tallon will fit in it or Tallon’s team out there now, or at least that’s the Hawks’ story, and if he’ll have to be cut up. Chris Kuc in the Tribune then printed the one that’s doing quite well. There’s an argument that McDonough expected denial from McCub. pushed for these signings to show to the rest of the Everything I hear these days about the inner league the Hawks are serious players, and every workings of the Hawks front office makes me urpy. free agent will check with us first before making any The one that really bothers me is the rumor that move. But is it really worth handicapping yourself to McDonough who pushed for both the Campbell and send a message to the rest of the league? I’m not so Huet signing, for marketing purposes. The thought sure. of a non-hockey guy sticking anything of his into Tallon has made his mistakes, and he’s had his hockey operations is one that should give every successes too. I’ve seen far worse Chicago GM’s. Hawks fan pause. Granted, both of these stories I just hope Tallon will be judged on decisions he’s were reported by Al Strachan on “The Hot Stove” made, and he alone. Right now, I’m not sure that’s druing Hockey Night in Canada, which is one step the case. That can’t be a good thing. above The National Enquirer or People. But still, Sam Fels - Speaking of which, and this is very inside baseball, where there’s smoke, there’s generally a teenager if you want to feel better about your hockey-self, try smoking pot in your alley. and catch “Satellite Hot Stove” on HNIC. It’s the aforementioned Which, if true, would make a Tallon firing so odd. If he’s Strachan, ESPN.com writer Pierre LeBrun, and -- for no discernable being axed for dicking over our cap situation, that’s exactly what reason -- Mike Milbury. Watching Milbury spew forth his useless he was reportedly told to do by McDonough. Can you get fired for twattle leaves little mystery as to why the Bruins and Islanders doing what you’re told? I’ve always been fired for not doing what I were scorched Earth after he left. He clearly knows nothing about was told. You mean there’s no other choice? hockey. Why he’s on an “insider” segment is beyond me. He’s ba- I’m hardly Tallon’s biggest fan, and have called for his sically there to yell. Trust me, watch him flap on the set and you’ll removal before. But not now, especially if he’s not even making feel like a goddamn expert. NHL STANDINGS Eastern Conference Western Conference ATLANTIC W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY CENTRAL W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY NY Rangers 18 10 2 38 77 76 11-6-1 7-4-1 Scum 18 4 4 40 95 80 8-2-2 10-2-2 Pittsburgh 15 8 4 34 87 75 7-4-2 8-4-2 HAWKS 12 6 7 31 90 73 8-1-4 4-5-3 Philadelphia 14 7 6 34 88 81 7-4-3 7-3-3 Nashville 14 12 2 30 78 88 7-4-1 7-8-1 New Jersey 14 8 2 30 70 63 7-4-1 7-4-1 St. Louis 12 11 3 27 76 81 7-5-2 5-6-1 NY Islanders 10 16 2 22 73 98 5-8-1 5-8-1 Columbus 11 13 3 25 76 86 7-5-1 4-8-2 NORTHEAST W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY NORTHWEST W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY Boston 19 4 4 42 94 59 10-1-1 9-3-3 Vancouver 16 10 3 35 89 75 7-3-1 9-7-2 Montreal 16 6 5 37 83 70 9-2-3 7-4-2 Calgary 16 11 1 33 81 84 9-4-1 7-7-0 Buffalo 13 11 3 29 74 79 7-6-1 6-5-2 Minnesota 15 10 1 31 72 56 8-6-1 7-4-0 Toronto 10 12 6 26 84 98 5-5-4 5-7-2 Colorado 14 13 1 29 78 81 6-5-0 6-8-1 Ottawa 10 10 5 25 63 63 7-5-3 3-5-2 Edmonton 13 11 2 28 74 78 3-3-2 10-8-0 SOUTHEAST W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY PACIFIC W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY Washington 15 10 3 33 88 86 10-1-1 5-9-2 San Jose 22 3 2 46 102 64 14-0-2 8-3-0 Carolina 13 12 3 29 71 83 7-8-1 6-4-2 Anaheim 15 10 3 33 82 79 8-6-2 7-4-1 Florida 12 12 3 27 67 76 6-4-2 6-8-1 Los Angeles 11 12 4 26 75 73 8-6-4 3-6-0 Atlanta 9 14 3 21 77 93 5-6-1 4-8-2 Phoenix 12 13 2 26 69 79 8-4-1 4-9-1 Tampa Bay 6 13 8 20 63 88 3-6-5 3-7-3 Dallas 10 12 4 24 72 93 4-4-3 6-8-1 TOP 10 LIST PUCK DROP Top 10 Goal Songs We’d Like To Hear At Look-A-Likes The U.C.

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