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Home , Antoine Vermette, Anton Volchenkov, Ben Eager, Christoph Schubert, Chris Kelly (ice hockey), Chris Neil

$3 Relax, Turn Around, And Take Our Hand.... $3 The Committed Indian The REal Fan’s Program secondcityhockey.com December 10th, 2008 [email protected] , I DON’T THINK SO... The Window is Closed, So No One switch to 11 games ago. Though Fart Auld has been pretty solid, the Sens are only To this evening, and the visit of 4-4-3 in those games. Scoring problems are the . Those of you with to blame (true in life as in hockey). Ottawa is good seats tonight will notice the Senators fourth from bottom in goals per game. This are home to some of the more disturbing from a team that used to score more than mustaches in the league. , Dan- Justin Timberlake armed with roofies. Mike iel Alfredsson, and Alex Picard look like they Fisher and -- usually reli- “Coming in from Phoenix? You better believe came straight from stalking the playground. able second-line scorers in seasons past -- that’s a paddlin’!” Maybe the Senators are trying to prop open have five goals combined. their rapidly shutting championship window Lack of scoring has exposed the When the Hawks score more times by creeping out their opponents. blue line of the Sens. There wasn’t much than the Bears do on a Sunday, we just as- Ottawa used to be one of the premier depth here thanks to free agent defections. sume it’s the usual, abysmal outing from the teams in the league, but no more. Remem- Volchenkov and Phillips, the top pair, have Bears offense. Not the case 3 days ago, as ber what we said about Anaheim? About how been below par, and haven’t been bailed out the Bears scored four times (three TD’s and a they’re a one-line team? Well, it applies to on the other end. Together, they’re -17, or FG). But they were surpassed by the Hawks in the Sens just as well. There’s the Pizza Line -2.88 in Behind the Net Ratings. Ottawa is just 28 minutes, who dented twine six times (Alfredsson-Spezza-Heatley, and we as- still solid defensively though, fourth best in at that . The Hawks put up their biggest sume they call them that because they always goals allowed per game. slaughter of an opponent all year, and their deliver. But why you’d want to link Heatley to Hartsburg? Try Zantac biggest win at the UC since...Phoenix was in anything having to do with driving, we have Ottawa used to play a free and open town last November. No wonder Gretzky’s va- no idea. Perhaps The Drunken Drag Racing style that suited the Hawks. They’re also gina was throbbing after the game. Thanks to Line wasn’t subtle enough?), and then there’s not all that physical, which suits the Hawks his sore female genitalia, the Hawks will have everyone else. Each of the three is averaging even more. Hartsburg has tried to tone that to go without Kris VerStud tonight. He earned a point per game. The next highest scoring freewheeling style down a bit, and the Sena- a one game suspension for landing a couple forward is . If Ruutu is among tors have been more solid at the back. But rights on Kyle Turris’s face, and Gretzky’s your scoring leaders, you have Blagojevich- they don’t score a whole lot, and don’t have wounded pride. sized problems. a lot of threats. The same effort we saw over It’s hard to pinpoint what we liked Not helping the cause was a goalten- the weekend should be more than enough to most about Sunday’s effort, but we’ll try. ding controversy to start the . Mar- overcome this group. ­ We’ll go with the play of the Hawks third line tin Gerber was, unsurprisingly, puke-tastic. -The Attorney General of Havlat-Bolland-Ladd. They’ve been the Coach made the permanent best forwards for the three games they’ve been put together. That includes one game where Havlat appeared to play in a giant sulk worthy of a suburban teenage girl for the insult of playing with Bolland and Ladd. He then proceeded to score the tying against Anaheim anyway. The three have combined for 14 points in the past three games. They’re also +10. If this continues, the Hawks could boast three lines that can hurt opponents. Anyone remember the last time we said that? Bolland’s game continues to grow and grow. He had been a solid -- if not spectacular -- defensive center for the first part of the year. The last 11 games he has 10 points. He’s always been fast, but the hands and vision are starting to follow suit. We cite the sweet dish to Ladd in Detroit as an example of all of it coming together. People may forget that Bolland’s numbers in Juniors are Kane-like. He put up 97 and 104 points in two years for the . He’s got tons of talent The development of Bolland has been one of the most satisfying aspects of this season, and long may it continue. “Uh, no Dale, they’re not interviewing for your job. They’re just uh, um, laid off employees from General Motors. Yeah, that’s it.” MUSINGS FROM THE EDITOR

-Strange Thoughts On This Nervous Night: As most of you prob- all the decisions. If it’s true that he’s not making all the moves, ably have heard, it’s been reported that McDonough is eyeing the then maybe he should get out with his dignity intact. But this is garbage chute in the hallway and wondering if Tallon will fit in it or Tallon’s team out there now, or at least that’s the Hawks’ story, and if he’ll have to be cut up. Chris Kuc in the Tribune then printed the one that’s doing quite well. There’s an argument that McDonough expected denial from McCub. pushed for these signings to show to the rest of the Everything I hear these days about the inner league the Hawks are serious players, and every workings of the Hawks front office makes me urpy. free agent will check with us first before making any The one that really bothers me is the rumor that move. But is it really worth handicapping yourself to McDonough who pushed for both the Campbell and send a message to the rest of the league? I’m not so Huet signing, for marketing purposes. The thought sure. of a non-hockey guy sticking anything of his into Tallon has made his mistakes, and he’s had his hockey operations is one that should give every successes too. I’ve seen far worse Chicago GM’s. Hawks fan pause. Granted, both of these stories I just hope Tallon will be judged on decisions he’s were reported by Al Strachan on “The Hot Stove” made, and he alone. Right now, I’m not sure that’s druing Hockey Night in , which is one step the case. That can’t be a good thing. above The National Enquirer or People. But still, Sam Fels - Speaking of which, and this is very inside baseball, where there’s smoke, there’s generally a teenager if you want to feel better about your hockey-self, try smoking pot in your alley. and catch “Satellite Hot Stove” on HNIC. It’s the aforementioned Which, if true, would make a Tallon firing so odd. If he’s Strachan, ESPN.com writer Pierre LeBrun, and -- for no discernable being axed for dicking over our cap situation, that’s exactly what reason -- . Watching Milbury spew forth his useless he was reportedly told to do by McDonough. Can you get fired for twattle leaves little mystery as to why the Bruins and Islanders doing what you’re told? I’ve always been fired for not doing what I were scorched Earth after he left. He clearly knows nothing about was told. You mean there’s no other choice? hockey. Why he’s on an “insider” segment is beyond me. He’s ba- I’m hardly Tallon’s biggest fan, and have called for his sically there to yell. Trust me, watch him flap on the set and you’ll removal before. But not now, especially if he’s not even making feel like a goddamn expert. NHL STANDINGS

Eastern Conference Western Conference

ATLANTIC W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY CENTRAL W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY NY Rangers 18 10 2 38 77 76 11-6-1 7-4-1 Scum 18 4 4 40 95 80 8-2-2 10-2-2 Pittsburgh 15 8 4 34 87 75 7-4-2 8-4-2 HAWKS 12 6 7 31 90 73 8-1-4 4-5-3 Philadelphia 14 7 6 34 88 81 7-4-3 7-3-3 Nashville 14 12 2 30 78 88 7-4-1 7-8-1 New Jersey 14 8 2 30 70 63 7-4-1 7-4-1 St. Louis 12 11 3 27 76 81 7-5-2 5-6-1 NY Islanders 10 16 2 22 73 98 5-8-1 5-8-1 Columbus 11 13 3 25 76 86 7-5-1 4-8-2

NORTHEAST W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY NORTHWEST W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY Boston 19 4 4 42 94 59 10-1-1 9-3-3 16 10 3 35 89 75 7-3-1 9-7-2 Montreal 16 6 5 37 83 70 9-2-3 7-4-2 16 11 1 33 81 84 9-4-1 7-7-0 Buffalo 13 11 3 29 74 79 7-6-1 6-5-2 Minnesota 15 10 1 31 72 56 8-6-1 7-4-0 10 12 6 26 84 98 5-5-4 5-7-2 Colorado 14 13 1 29 78 81 6-5-0 6-8-1 Ottawa 10 10 5 25 63 63 7-5-3 3-5-2 Edmonton 13 11 2 28 74 78 3-3-2 10-8-0

SOUTHEAST W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY PACIFIC W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY Washington 15 10 3 33 88 86 10-1-1 5-9-2 San Jose 22 3 2 46 102 64 14-0-2 8-3-0 Carolina 13 12 3 29 71 83 7-8-1 6-4-2 Anaheim 15 10 3 33 82 79 8-6-2 7-4-1 Florida 12 12 3 27 67 76 6-4-2 6-8-1 Los Angeles 11 12 4 26 75 73 8-6-4 3-6-0 Atlanta 9 14 3 21 77 93 5-6-1 4-8-2 Phoenix 12 13 2 26 69 79 8-4-1 4-9-1 Tampa Bay 6 13 8 20 63 88 3-6-5 3-7-3 Dallas 10 12 4 24 72 93 4-4-3 6-8-1

TOP 10 LIST PUCK DROP

Top 10 Goal Songs We’d Like To Hear At Look-A-Likes The U.C. 10. Brian Campbell goal- “51 Phantom” by North Mississippi All- Stars 9. Toews goal- Beavis screaming, “The Tazer! The Tazer!” 8. Havlat goal- “Leper Messiah” by Metallica 7. Burish goal- “What Is And What Should Never Be”- by Led Zep- pelin John McDonough The Grinch 6. Wiz goal- “Raining Blood” by Slayer (cuz we know he’d like it) 5. Bolland goal- Walter Sobchak from Big Lebowski saying, “Fuck it dude, let’s go Bolland.” 4. Huet big save- “Frogs” by Alice in Chains 3. We just want “Shook Me All Night Long” back, that’s all We’re not sayin’. 2. A video of the Geico cavemen being in the scrotum 1. Anything but that shit song from the Amstel Light Ad. Light beer We’re just sayin’... is evil!

If you would like to ruin your organization’s credibility and advertise with us, please email us at [email protected] or call 773- 470-8921 12-6-7

Versteeg’s suspension shows you just how stupid the instigator rule is. This wasn’t a goon going goofy in a blowout. This wasn’t a mass brawl. Another glorious rule brought to you by Dickwad Bettman.

# Pos Player Ht WT AGE GP G A P +/- PIM PP SH GW S S% Salary 88 R Patrick Kane 5'10" 187 19 25 12 20 32 1 10 5 0 1 76 15.8 $3,725,000 10 L The Sharp-Shooter 6'1" 197 26 25 16 9 25 2 28 6 0 2 83 19.3 $3,900,000 32 L VerStud*** 5'10" 180 22 25 7 15 22 12 35 2 1 1 46 15.2 $491,667 19 C Marvel 6'2" 209 20 25 8 14 22 3 21 3 0 2 72 11.1 $2,800,000 24 R Martin Havlat 6'2" 217 27 25 7 13 20 8 12 3 0 0 63 11.1 $6,000,000 51 D 51 Phantom 6'0" 188 29 25 4 15 19 3 2 1 0 0 37 10.8 $7,142,875 36 C Dave Bolland 6'0" 188 22 25 5 11 16 4 12 0 1 1 30 16.7 $845,833 16 L 6'2" 198 22 25 5 10 15 11 12 0 0 0 49 10.2 $1,550,000 25 D Cam Barker 6'3" 213 22 17 3 9 12 -5 13 3 0 1 24 12.5 $2,768,587 2 D Duncan Keith 6'1" 194 25 25 2 9 11 9 12 0 0 0 52 3.8 $1,475,000 22 R Troy Brouwer 6'2" 213 23 19 2 7 9 6 20 1 0 0 36 5.6 $675,000 33 R 6'3" 247 23 22 3 5 8 2 27 0 0 0 59 5.1 $3,000,000 7 D Brent Seabrook 6'3" 220 23 25 3 5 8 7 33 1 1 0 37 8.1 $3,500,000 23 D Aaron Johnson* 6'1" 211 25 18 3 4 7 13 12 0 0 1 10 30 $600,000 55 L Ben Eager 6'2" 220 24 21 5 1 6 0 52 0 0 0 15 33.3 $568,000 46 C Colin Fraser 6'1" 188 23 25 1 5 6 -2 35 0 0 0 15 6.7 $500,000 8 D Matt Walker 6'3" 214 28 13 0 2 2 5 20 0 0 0 11 0 $600,000 5 D 6'1" 211 31 19 1 1 2 -4 8 0 0 1 13 7.7 $2,333,333 28 R Craig Adams 6'0" 197 31 12 0 1 1 -3 7 0 0 0 8 0 $600,000 11 R ** 6'1" 208 21 6 1 0 1 -2 5 0 0 0 12 8.3 $1,275,000 37 R Adam Burish* 6'1" 189 25 19 0 0 0 -5 49 0 0 0 21 0 $712,500 6 D Jordan Hendry** 6'1" 194 24 8 0 0 0 -1 4 0 0 0 1 0 $625,000 4 D Niklas Hjalmarsson** 6'2" 200 21 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 $643,000 27 L Pascal Pelletier 5’11” 191 25 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 $550,000 Totals/Averages 6'1" 203.60 24.17 88 156 429 25 3 770 11.43% $43,187,795

Anyone else notice Ladd taking all the draws for Bolland on Sun day? Bolls hasn’t Ladd went 5-7. been effective on face-offs, let’s see if this continues. # Goalie HT WT AGE GPI Min GAA W L OT SO SA GA Sv% G A PIM Salary 39 6'1" 209 35 13 779 2.46 7 1 4 1 413 32 0.923 0 2 4 $6,750,000 38 6'1" 205 33 13 751 2.80 5 5 3 0 355 35 0.901 0 0 0 $5,625,000 Totals/Averages 6'1" 207 34 26 1530 2.63 12 6 7 1 768 67 0.912 0 2 4 $12,375,000 TOTAL CAP NUMBER: $56,119,795 *injured CAP SPACE: $257,000* **not currently on roster ***suspended Probable Pairings Probable Lines *space also affected by buyouts and injured players Left Wing Center Right Wing Brian Campbell Cam Barker D. Byfuglien Patrick Sharp Patrick Kane Duncan Keith Brent Seabrook Injury List -Suspeneded (1 game) Brent Sopel Matt Walker Ben Eager Jonathan Toews Troy Brouwer Adam Burish- Out (Broken Toe-2 weeks) Andrew Ladd Dave Bolland Martin Havlat Aaron Johnson- Out (Shoulder-1 month) James Wisniewski-Out (Knee-return Fri.) Pascal Pelletier Colin Fraser Craig Adams

16 years ago, David Stern sent me to ruin the NHL. I have done every- thing I can think of to drive the core I am so close to completing the task fan away, strip hockey of all that’s Stern charged me with.... great about it, and eliminate any at- tention by the mainstream media... ottawa Rough Riders 10-10-5

Phillips and Volchenkov’s numbers look prettty ugly, yet Ottawa is 4th in Goals Against. Shaky goalten-

ding from Gerber and sparse scoring from the forwards explain these unusually hideous numbers.

Ottawa Picard. has 7 points for the botched abortion that is Tampa. The deal also netted Quite the deal Sens were able to swing for Andrej Mezaros, who currently

# Pos Player Ht WT AGE GP G A P +/- PIM PP SH GW S S% Salary 15 L Speed Racer 6' 4" 221 27 25 14 14 28 4 24 7 0 2 81 17.3 $7,500,000 11 R 5' 11" 208 35 24 7 18 25 9 8 3 0 0 68 10.3 $4,414,000 19 C 6' 3" 215 25 25 12 10 22 6 20 3 1 3 83 14.5 $7,000,000 17 D Filip Kuba 6' 4" 226 31 25 1 18 19 7 10 1 0 0 37 2.7 $3,000,000 73 L Jarkko Ruutu 6' 1" 207 33 23 2 6 8 2 49 0 0 0 33 6.1 $1,272,000 45 D Alexandre Picard 6' 2" 210 23 23 2 6 8 4 2 2 0 0 33 6.1 $800,000 12 C 6' 1" 213 28 21 3 5 8 -6 13 0 0 1 54 5.6 $4,200,000 71 L Nick Foligno 6' 0" 205 21 25 4 3 7 -10 14 1 0 0 41 9.8 $850,000 10 R 6' 3" 218 33 23 4 3 7 7 12 0 0 0 26 15.4 $600,000 18 C Jesse Winchester 6' 1" 215 25 25 2 4 6 -5 16 0 0 1 36 5.6 $550,000 22 C Chris Kelly 6' 0" 198 28 25 2 3 5 -5 12 0 0 1 35 5.7 $2,125,000 20 C Antoine Vermette 6' 1" 197 26 25 2 3 5 -8 14 1 0 0 64 3.1 $2,763,000 5 L 6' 3" 230 26 17 1 3 4 -4 12 1 0 0 22 4.5 $883,000 37 L Dean McAmmond* 5' 11" 193 35 20 1 2 3 3 4 0 1 0 22 4.5 $875,000 25 R 6' 1" 212 29 19 2 1 3 -6 62 0 0 0 21 9.5 $1,100,000 24 D 6' 1" 226 26 25 2 1 3 -7 18 0 0 1 31 6.5 $2,500,000 55 D Brian Lee** 6' 2" 202 21 6 0 2 2 2 0 0 0 0 1 0 $1,250,000 9 D Brendan Bell 6' 2" 211 25 8 1 1 2 2 2 1 0 0 13 7.7 $500,000 4 D 6' 3" 217 30 25 0 2 2 -10 18 0 0 0 26 0 $3,500,000 26 R Ryan Shannon** 5'9" 173 25 2 0 1 1 -1 0 0 0 0 3 0 $605,000 58 C Cody Bass 6' 0" 211 21 7 0 0 0 -2 10 0 0 0 2 0 $512,000 53 C Ilya Zubov** 6' 0" 200 21 4 0 0 0 -1 0 0 0 0 5 0 $850,000 47 C Zack Smith** 6' 2" 205 20 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 $583,000 21 D Jason Smith 6' 3" 220 35 25 0 0 0 0 23 0 0 0 20 0 $2,600,000 Totals/Averages 6' 2" 209.70 27.04 62 106 343 20 2 757 8.19% $48,041,000

# Goalie HT WT AGE GPI Min GAA W L OT SO SA GA Sv% G A PIM Salary 31 Alex Auld 6' 4" 223 27 19 1163 2.06 9 6 4 0 525 40 0.924 0 0 2 $1,000,000 29 5' 11" 199 34 6 360 3.17 1 4 1 0 186 19 0.898 0 0 0 $3,700,000 Totals/Averages 6' 2" 211 30.5 25 1523 2.615 10 10 5 0 711 59 0.917 0 0 2 $4,700,000 Auld has started 11 straight for the Sens. In those games TOTAL CAP NUMBER: $53,240,000 *injured he’s got GAA of 2.30 and a SV% of .920 **not currently on roster CAP SPACE: $3,460,000

Probable Lines Probable Pairings *space also affected by buyouts and injured players Left Wing Center Right Wing Chris Phillips Anton Volchenkov Jason Spezza Daniel Alfredsson Filip Kuba Alexandre Picard Injury List Antoine Vermette Mike Fisher Shean Donovan Jason Smith Brandon Bell Dean McAmmond-Questionable (throat) Nick Foligno Chris Kelly Jesse Winchester Jarko Ruutu Cody Bass Chris Neil

...IS THIS THE YEAR? What Chicago Sports Fans Want For Christmas Burt Lankowski-Bears Fan: What I want for Christmans is Ditka to replace Blag-vich as governor. Cutch Ditka will bring da fire and da passion dat dis state needs. Also, I want Lovie to grow a moustache. Oh, and I want Lovie to be orange like Ditka. I’d also like to institute a law that Urlacher can’t come wit’in 5 miles of my daughter.

Tobias Crane and Weiland Burns-Bulls Fans: Well, firstly, for Christmas we must insist upon making partner down at the firm. Without it I’ll never be able to afford to take Eliza on a holiday in The Algarve. I also would like an acquittal for my boss in his insid- er-trading trial which would result in me still receiving his Bulls sea- son tickets. My clients love our courtside seats, especially when that fine chap Labrum James from Cleveland is playing!

Barry O.- Sox Fan: For Christmas, or Hanukah, or whatever other holiday our citizens celebrate at this time, I think the American peo- ple, especially those on Main St., would love for me to have the ability to test our weapons on Wrigley Field. This will allow the US to defend her shores with the latest in weapon technology, without losing any property of importance. The Cubs are not a symbol of hope that America has become.

Tyler Baskin-Cubs Fan: (vomits) Yeah, uh, I want all the beer in the bleachers to come with a free roofie! (Falls down) Have you seen the bitches out here??!! I gotta mark my free spot on the bingo card! (vomits again) And I want Giambi, Peavy, Texeira, Sabathia, Abreu, Manny, and for Beltran and Howard, and all we’d have to give up is Marshall and Theriot! Yeah!!! (Vomits on himself, passes out. Friends put his hand in glass of warm water. They vomit.) CCCUUUB- BIIIEEESSSSS! Kevin Anderson-Hawks Fan: Let’s see, for Christmas....well, hang on, let me get this straight: Wirtz is dead, every game is on TV, and we have an exciting, young team that could be contenders for years to come? Fuck, I’ll have a Jack and coke. The Fight Card

HAWKS vs. SENATORS Fight Stats provided by Hockeyfights.com

GAME FIGHT TIME Bloody Black Bruised Just Analysis Nose Eye Ego Dancing Uh, there haven’t been any. We don’t know what to tell you. Uh...um... Zeppelin rules!

What To Watch For: Probably not much. The Senators aren’t the most ornery bunch. Chris Neil and Cody Bass are the most likely to cause a kerfuffle, and they are definitely in the middleweight category, so the Hawks won’t be run- ning terrified of them. After Craig Adams got the Hawks going with a bout against Carcillo on Sunday, we wouldn’t be shocked to see someone else try it if the Hawks come out flat. Power Play Kill

Team Opp PPG PP% Team OPP PPG PP% Team TS PPGA PK% Team TS PPGA PK% DET 109 33 30.3 PIT 124 22 17.7 NYR 113 11 90.3 VAN 134 25 81.3 MIN 114 29 25.4 ATL 113 20 17.7 MIN 97 11 88.7 PHX 105 20 81 STL 115 28 24.4 BUF 125 22 17.6 BUF 117 14 88 NYI 135 26 80.7 PHI 109 26 23.8 LAK 123 21 17.1 OTT 104 14 86.5 DET 112 22 80.4 BOS 98 23 23.5 COL 118 19 16.1 PHI 137 20 85.4 NSH 144 29 79.9 SJS 139 32 23 TBL 123 19 15.4 CGY 126 20 84.1 TBL 139 28 79.9 CHI 110 25 22.7 NYR 140 21 15 PIT 107 17 84.1 CAR 119 24 79.8 WSH 117 26 22.2 FLA 101 15 14.8 LAK 118 19 83.9 CBJ 126 26 79.4 ANA 105 22 21 NSH 127 18 14.2 BOS 105 17 83.8 COL 111 23 79.3 TOR 129 27 20.9 NJD 86 12 14 SJS 105 17 83.8 WSH 137 29 78.8 EDM 111 22 19.8 DAL 117 16 13.7 STL 117 20 82.9 NJD 98 22 77.6 CGY 137 27 19.7 MTL 125 17 13.6 CHI 110 19 82.7 TOR 103 24 76.7 OTT 104 20 19.2 PHX 119 16 13.4 MTL 126 23 81.8 DAL 110 26 76.4 VAN 124 23 18.6 CAR 129 17 13.2 FLA 115 21 81.7 EDM 117 29 75.2 NYI 131 24 18.3 CBJ 131 13 9.9 ANA 152 28 81.6 ATL 114 31 72.8 Spotlight

After the playoff collapse in ‘06 against Buffalo, there were more than a few calls in Ottawa for Dan- iel Alfredsson to head for the exit door. That was the team’s third straight heartbreaking playoff exit. Had the Senators acted on these sentiments, we would have driven up to Ottawa, packed Alfie’s bags, and driven him here. Unfortunately for us, and lucky for Senators fans, the Ottawa brass held on to him. Alfredsson since has re- mained what he has always been; one of the best two-way forwards in the game, a clutch scorer, a hellish penalty- killer, and a leader. He’s doing it again this season. He’s the team’s leader in +/-, and among it’s leaders in goals, points, +/-/60, and Behind The Net Rating. Sadly for Alfie, the Senators chance at a Cup looks to have passed, and he’ll have to be satisfied with the gold medal he won in 2006. Unless, of course, while looking to rebuild, the Sens look to move him. His contract, which he just signed, is not ridiculous, at a little over $5 million per season, well below market value for a player of Alfie’s caliber. But that could turn into another Mats Sundin situation, as Alfredsson has regained his icon status in Canada’s capital. Either way, #11 will probably be the first number retired for a modern-era Senator. KNOW THY ENEMY

Ben from Sens Army (sensarmy.blogspot.com) tells us what we need to Q: We saw the Craig Hartsburg movie here. What have the reviews know about the visitors from Ottawa. been on it up there? Q: From where we sit, it appears the Senators’ window is closed. Is Some people have questioned Hartsburg’s judgment during the team’s that the view in Ottawa? losses, but most seem to be taking a wait and see approach. He’s not A: Sens fans have definitely tempered their enthusiasm this season. burning out our top players like did as head coach for Last year’s playoff loss to the Penguins was humbling to both the team most of last year. He’s been tough on players when needed, and has and the fans. At the same time, there seems to be an understanding that been humble enough to correct himself when he’s made poor decisions this year’s early-season struggles may create a better team toward the (like making Gerber #1 at the start of the year and trying to break up end of the season. Last season’s incredible start and all the accolades Spezza-Heatley-Alfredsson). I think most fans understand that Harts- that went with it inflated the ego of the team and may have contributed burg is a capable coach, but whether the team has a winning record or to that playoff loss. not this year is more up to the players (and whatever players can be Q: We keep hearing rumors that Spezza is on the block, which of brought in by Murray over the course of the season). course excites those of us who picture him in our red and black. Is Q: We have to say, the Senators should have a Cup to their name that really the case? Wouldn’t he be a guy you’d rebuild around? already. What do you think is the reason they haven’t been able to A: There is definitely a small, vocal contingent of Sens fans that want cash in on their talent the past few years? to see Jason Spezza traded, but they are idiots -- wait, no -- fucking It’s hard to say what cost the Senators the Cup over the past few seasons. morons. Some people take the snapshot of Sens fans as ‘those lonely They have constantly been heralded as among the most talented teams in people who call into post-game shows after losses and rage about the the league. When they got to the Final in 2006-07, it seemed that Daniel team’. Any objective evaluation of Spezza that isn’t fueled by rage and Alfredsson was leading the team in all aspects: scoring, penalty-killing, beer shows that he is an incredibly talented player, who certainly has and, well... leadership. Spezza and Heatley were lighting other teams faults. The man has collected 85+ points in each of the last three sea- up with their speed and skill. Many say it was a lack of toughness and sons and is signed to another 6 years with the Senators. There has never physicalty that allowed Anaheim to dominate. Well, Bryan Murray has been any hint from any member of the Senators staff that Spezza could certainly addressed that, but now it’s other areas that have come to the be traded. I personally hope he never is. fore, particularly team defence and secondary scoring. But it’s hard to Q: The Senators are going to have to make drastic changes soon, if predict how the Sens will finish this season. not this season. Who are some of the younger players they will look I can’t believe that Carolina and Tampa have Cups before the to build around? Sens. I apologize on behalf of the team to the rest of the NHL for that. There are some solid young players that the Sens aim to build around, Q: Daniel Alfredsson has gotten his share of criticism, but we can and a few of them are already on the roster. Due to the Senators past only see a player who’s been a rock for over a decade. Do Senators decade of success, these are not what some would call ‘blue chip’ pros- fans appreciate him more than the media lets on? Or the opposite? pects - they are moderate prospects that could help the team succeed. There was a time, early in 2006-07, that some in the media and the Brian Lee is a mobile defender that played parts of last season (includ- fanbase were calling for Alfie to be traded. After that whole Stanley ing the ) with the big club. Nick Foligno is now in his first full Cup run where he played like a man possessed, however, anyone who seasons with the Sens and he has shown some scoring touch. Cody Bass criticizes Alfie these days is promptly dragged to the town and is a gritty forward who has bounced between the Baby Sens and the big hung. Some Sens fans refer to him as “The Golden God”. He’s gotten club for the past two season and will soon be a solid enforcer in Ottawa. better and smarter with age. Alfredsson recently re-signed for another Brian Elliot appears to be the future of the Sens in goal. He has seen his four years with the Senators, taking money well below what a player stock rise since joining the and overtook former with his stats deserves. For many years now, Alfie has been the embodi- first round pick Jeff Glass for the starting job over the past two seasons. ment of the Ottawa Senators, but he only seems to be getting the praise Is the next Jason Spezza sitting in Bingo and waiting to be he deserves recently. I am confident his #11 will hang from the rafters at called up? Hells no. Scotiabank Place in due time.

Hawks-Sens: the Last 4

Dec. 22nd, 2007: Hawks 4, Sens 3 (OT) Mar. 4th, 2007: Sens 3, Hawks 4 (SO) Captain Marvel scores OT winner in an absolute Hawks overcome 2-goal 3rd period deficit on tal- thriller, and announces Hawks presence on NHL lies by Holmqvist and Vrbata (wow, did we suck). map. LaPointe, Biscuit, and Sharp-Shooter also net Vrbata then scores shootout winner to defeat hottest for Hawks to defeat East’s leading team at time. team in NHL at time.

Dec. 18th, 2003: Hawks 1, Sens 6 Dec. 4th, 2002: Sens 0, Hawks 1 A true paddling. ’s home debut, if only We have no idea what happened here. And would it Sens fans knew then...Hossa and Havlat run wild really matter if we did? Didn’t think so. Like Ditka over the Hawks, each with 3 points. They could said, “The past is for cowards and losers.” Which have been on the same team again this season. In makes his cashing in of his past accomplishments all our dreams. Alas. the more funny. Referee Stats For The Hawks

Referees 1st NHL Hawks Games Hawks PP’s Hawks Pens/Game Hawks PP/Game Hawks PK/ W L OTL Game PK’s Game 2 Fraser, Kerry 1980 1 4 10 14.0 4.0 10.0 1 0 0 3 Leggo, Mike 1997 1 2 1 3.0 2.0 1.0 0 0 1 4 McCauley, Wes 2003 4 10 11 5.3 2.5 2.8 2 1 0 5 Rooney, Chris 2000 ------6 Marouelli, Dan 1984 2 8 5 6.5 4.0 2.5 1 1 0 7 McCreary, Bill 1984 2 8 7 7.5 4.0 3.5 2 1 0 8 Jackson, Dave 1990 2 10 11 10.5 5.0 5.5 1 1 0 10 Devorski, Paul 1989 1 5 6 11.0 5.0 6.0 0 1 0 11 Sutherland, Kelly 2000 ------12 Koharski, Don 1981 1 6 7 13.0 6.0 7.0 1 0 0 13 O’Halloran, Dan 1995 2 12 10 11.0 6.0 5.0 1 0 1 14 LaRue, Dennis 1991 2 10 6 8.0 5.0 3.0 0 0 1 15 Auger, Stephane 2000 3 12 10 7.3 4.0 3.3 2 0 1 16 Shick, Rob 1986 1 2 2 4.0 2.0 2.0 0 0 1 18 Kimmerly, Greg 1996 1 3 5 8.0 3.0 5.0 1 0 0 20 Peel, Tim 1999 1 7 8 15.0 7.0 8.0 1 0 0 21 VanMassenhoven, Don 1993 1 3 3 6.0 3.0 3.0 0 0 1 23 Watson, Brad 1996 1 2 1 3.0 2.0 1.0 0 0 1 25 Joannette, Marc 1999 1 5 3 8.0 5.0 3.0 0 0 1 26 Martell, Rob 1996 ------27 Furlatt, Eric 2001 1 3 4 7.0 3.0 4.0 0 0 1 28 Lee, Chris 2001 1 5 4 9.0 5.0 4.0 1 0 0 29 Walsh, Ian 2000 ------30 Hasenfratz, Mike 2000 2 11 7 9.0 5.5 3.5 0 1 1 32 Kowal, Tom 2000 3 11 76 29.0 3.7 25.3 3 0 0 33 Pollock, Kevin 2000 2 7 9 8.0 3.5 4.5 1 0 1 34 Meier, Brad 1999 1 3 4 7.0 3.0 4.0 1 0 0 35 Warren, Dean 1999 ------36 Morton, Dean 2000 1 5 4 9.0 5.0 4.0 0 1 0 38 St Laurent, Francois 2006 2 14 15 14.5 7.0 7.5 1 0 1 39 Dwyer, Gord 2003 3 16 15 10.3 5.3 5.0 2 0 1 40 Kozari, Steve 2006 2 10 10 10.0 5.0 5.0 1 1 0 42 O’Rourke, Dan 1999 1 7 7 14.0 7.0 7.0 0 0 1 43 Pochmara, Brian 2006 ------45 St. Pierre, Justin 2003 2 10 10 10.0 5.0 5.0 0 0 2

If you’d like to contribute to The Committed Indian, or just want to tell us what you think, or call us asshats, feel free to email us at committedindian@ gmail.com. Every guest contributor we’ll have a chance at a free jersey from Triple Threat Sports! The Committed Indian The best toilet reading around Hockey-Ball We expanded to 16 pages partly so we could provide you with the Behind The Net numbers every night. So here they are for both teams. These are at even strength, 5-on-5. Key: QUALCOMP- A measure of the quality of competition each player faces on the ice. Calculated by averaging +/-/60 for opponents on the ice against player. Example: Kane has faced the toughest opppostion at +.12 QUALTEAM- A measure of the quality of teammates each player plays with. Calculated by averaging +/-/60 for teammates on ice with player. TOI/60- Time on ice, per 60 minutes, that player spends on ice at full-strength. TOF/60- Time spent off-ice, per 60 minutes, at full strength. +/-ON/60- Team’s Plus/minus, per 60 minutes, while player is on ice. +/-OFF/60- Plus/minus of team while player is off ice, per 60 minutes. RATING- +/-ON/60 subtracted by +/- OFF/60. Chicago NAME GP QUALCOMP QUALTEAM TOI/60 TOF/60 +-ON/60 +-OFF/60 RATING Matt Walker 13 -0.14 -0.19 10.17 36.88 2.72 0.13 2.6 Aaron Johnson 18 -0.09 -0.1 11.06 33.11 3.01 0.5 2.51 Andrew Ladd 25 0.05 -0.04 12.5 33.11 2.11 0.07 2.04 Troy Brouwer 19 -0.03 -0.16 12.09 33.75 1.83 0.65 1.17 Kris Versteeg 25 0.08 -0.18 13.14 32.47 1.46 0.3 1.17 Martin Havlat 25 -0.05 0.04 13.66 31.95 1.23 0.38 0.85 Duncan Keith 25 0.1 0.19 19.69 25.92 0.98 0.37 0.6 Brent Seabrook 25 0.13 0.25 17.74 27.87 0.95 0.43 0.52 Dave Bolland 25 0.06 0.33 11.68 33.93 0.82 0.57 0.26 Dustin Byfuglien 22 -0.01 0.27 12.53 32.36 0.65 0.59 0.06 Patrick Kane 25 0.12 0.03 14.74 30.87 0.49 0.7 -0.21 Jonathan Toews 25 0.07 0.16 13.63 31.98 0.35 0.75 -0.4 Brian Campbell 25 -0.01 -0.23 18.93 26.69 0.25 0.9 -0.65 Patrick Sharp 25 -0.03 0.16 13.84 31.78 0.17 0.83 -0.66 Ben Eager 21 -0.11 -0.51 7.27 38.46 0 1.11 -1.11 Colin Fraser 25 -0.11 -0.76 7.09 38.52 -0.34 0.81 -1.15 Brent Sopel 19 -0.13 0.05 11.01 35.17 -1.15 0.72 -1.87 Craig Adams 12 -0.14 -0.58 6.72 42.14 -2.23 0.36 -2.59 Cam Barker 17 -0.02 -0.08 15.54 30.61 -1.14 2.08 -3.21 Adam Burish 19 -0.05 -0.39 6.29 37.65 -2.01 1.26 -3.27 Ottawa NAME GP QUALCOMP QUALTEAM TOI/60 TOF/60 +-ON/60 +-OFF/60 RATING Shean Donovan 23 -0.04 0.04 7.84 37.25 2.33 -0.28 2.61 Daniel Alfredsson 24 0.08 0.2 13.93 31.19 1.79 -0.72 2.52 Jason Spezza 25 0.05 0.48 15.04 30.07 1.28 -0.8 2.07 Filip Kuba 25 -0.01 0.2 15.73 29.38 1.22 -0.82 2.04 Dean McAmmond 20 -0.07 0.31 6.92 37.53 1.3 -0.72 2.02 Dany Heatley 25 0.05 0.63 15.32 29.79 0.94 -0.64 1.58 Brendan Bell 8 -0.17 -0.06 12.67 34.82 1.78 0.65 1.13 Alex Picard 29 -0.1 0.5 12.49 32.57 0.17 -0.25 0.42 Jarkko Ruutu 23 -0.09 -0.31 10.98 34.64 0.24 -0.08 0.31 Jason Smith 25 -0.08 0.06 14.02 31.09 0 -0.15 0.15 Christoph Schubert 17 -0.15 0 9.39 34.11 -0.75 -0.41 -0.34 Chris Kelly 25 -0.03 -0.47 11.81 33.29 -1.02 0.22 -1.23 Jesse Winchester 25 0.09 -0.35 11.6 33.51 -1.03 0.21 -1.25 Chris Neil 19 -0.12 -0.43 9.19 35.52 -1.37 0 -1.37 Antoine Vermette 25 0.03 -0.08 13.26 31.85 -1.09 0.3 -1.39 Anton Volchenkov 25 0.13 -0.31 17 28.11 -0.99 0.43 -1.42 Chris Phillips 25 0.15 -0.27 16.69 28.41 -1.15 0.51 -1.66 Mike Fisher 21 0.09 -0.13 13.33 32.08 -1.5 0.27 -1.77 Nick Foligno 25 -0.09 -0.21 9.45 35.66 -2.29 0.47 -2.76 Cody Bass 7 -0.36 -0.4 5.64 42.01 -3.04 1.63 -4.67 Hockey-Ball

Corsi Rating Penalties Drawn vs. Taken Here’s how the teams match up in Corsi Rating, which measure how many shots are Pretty self-explanatory. A measure of penalties drawn vs. taken, per 60 min. attempted for a team vs. how many are attempted against while a given player is on the ice, per 60 min. Chicago Ottawa Chicago Ottawa NAME CORSI NAME CORSI NAME PDRAW/60 PTAKE/60 NAME PDRAW/60 PTAKE/60 Brian Campbell 10.5 Brendan Bell 13 Fraser 2 1 Neil 2.4 1 Martin Havlat 9.5 Daniel Alfredsson 9.5 Burish 2 1 Donovan 2 1.3 Duncan Keith 7.1 Alex Picard 8.3 Brouwer 1.8 1 Bass 1.5 0 Patrick Sharp 7.1 Jason Spezza 6.2 Versteeg 1.6 0.9 Ruutu 1.4 2.1 Patrick Kane 7 Shean Donovan 4 Bolland 1.6 0.6 Winchester 1.4 0.6 Troy Brouwer 6.8 Filip Kuba 2.9 Adams 1.5 0.7 Heatley 1.3 1.6 Andrew Ladd 5.6 Chris Neil 1.7 Sharp 1.4 1.4 Foligno 1.3 1.3 Kris Versteeg 5.1 Chris Kelly 1.2 Eager 1.2 2.7 Alfredsson 1.1 0.5 Matt Walker 4.5 Dany Heatley 0.3 Toews 1.1 0.9 Vermette 1.1 0.5 Brent Seabrook 4.1 Nick Foligno -0.3 Walker 0.9 0 Spezza 1 1.3 Aaron Johnson 3.9 Chris Phillips -1.3 Byfuglien 0.9 1.1 McAmmond 0.9 0.4 Dustin Byfuglien 3.5 Dean McAmmond -2.2 Ladd 0.8 1 Fisher 0.9 0.9 Jonathan Toews 3.2 Jesse Winchester -3.3 Kane 0.7 0.7 Picard 0.5 0.3 Dave Bolland 2.5 Antoine Vermette -3.8 Johnson 0.6 1.5 Smith 0.5 0.2 Ben Eager 2 Mike Fisher -4.1 Campbell 0.5 0.1 Kelly 0.4 0.8 Cam Barker 1.8 Jarkko Ruutu -4.3 Havlat 0.4 0.9 Kuba 0.2 0.6 Craig Adams 1.5 Jason Smith -5.3 Seabrook 0.3 1.2 Volchenkov 0.1 1.1 Adam Burish 1 Anton Volchenkov -6.1 Sopel 0.3 1.1 Bell 0 0.6 Colin Fraser 0 Christoph Schubert -12.8 Keith 0.2 0.4 Schubert 0 2.3 Brent Sopel -4 Cody Bass -13.7 Barker 0 0.7 Phillips 0 0.7

Chicago Face-Offs Ottawa Player Face-Offs Taken FO% Player Face-Offs Taken FO% Jonathan Toews 403 54.1 Antoine Vermette 218 61 Colin Fraser 247 48.6 Mike Fisher 295 50.2 Kris Versteeg 35 45.7 Jason Spezza 462 49.8 Dave Bolland 360 45.6 Chris Kelly 241 49 Adam Burish 36 44.4 Dean McAmmond 129 43.4 Patrick Sharp 315 43.8 Total Rank: 14th 50.5

Total: Rank: 27th 47.6

NHL LEADERS

Goals Points GAA SV%

Player Team G Player Team P Player Team GAA Player Team SV% 1 PHI 20 1 Evgeni Malkin PIT 45 1 Tim Thomas BOS 1.90 1 Craig Anderson FLA 0.941 2 BUF 20 2 PIT 41 2 Alex Auld OTT 2.06 2 Tim Thomas BOS 0.940 3 Phil Kessel BOS 16 3 Alex Ovechkin WAS 35 3 Craig Anderson FLA 2.06 3 Jonas Hiller ANA 0.933 4 Patrick Sharp CHI 16 4 ANA 34 4 Jonas Hiller ANA 2.06 4 Roberto Luongo VAN 0.928 5 Marian Hossa Scum 15 5 Jarome Iginla CAL 32 5 M. Fernandez BOS 2.09 5 M. Fernandez BOS 0.926 7 Patrick Kane CHI 32 14 N. Khabibulin CHI 2.46 9 N. Khabibulin CHI 0.922

War Drums In The Distance have never celebrated a goal as long as I did that one. Kane, who I read was Special moments. They can’t be bought, planned or manufactured. the #1 draft pick only do to a weak draft, was electrifying. Can you say, They just happen, spontaneously, with little or no advance warning. We’ve “eyes in the back of your head?” or “a feather touch on passes?” or a “nose all had them, and savor them, wishing that life could always be so. One of for scoring?” Good Lord, we can only pray for more weak drafts if Kaner is those moments occurred last Sunday, Dec. 23, 2007 at the United Center. It the result. started with a freezing half hour wait in line at the walkup ticket window. As Well, those moments bring me full circle to the moment I wit- I stood in line, being buffeted by a fierce Northwesterly wind, I could only nessed on Sunday, the 23rd vs. the Oilers. T he Hawks were coming back lament, “The cat is out of the bag on this incredibly talented team.” after a scintillating victory over Ottawa, the top team in the Eastern Before going any further, that moment on Dec. 23rd brings to mind Conference, the night before. P rior to this time you had no problem walking three other special moments that have occurred over my 45 years of fol- up to a ticket window and getting a cheap seat within 5 minutes. Not this lowing those warriors who are fortunate enough to bear the Indian Head on night, though. It’s as if a “Great Awakening” occurred. The ticket lines were their chests. I won’t even mention all those moments when I saw Tony “O” over 30 people deep. By the time we got to the window, only $30 tickets standing on his head in the crease, with everything but the kitchen sink being were left and the game was eight minutes old. “The Moment” proved to be tossed at him. worth the wait and the extra $15 we had to pay! The first “moment” occurred when I was 12 years old. If there The game was vigorously contested, finding the Hawks clinging to was 1” of ice on any of the area ponds or rinks, we’d be testing it to see if a precarious one goal lead before over 20,000 finger nail-biting fans for most it would support our weight. Saturday nights were spent in front of a TV of the 3rd period. I breathed a sigh of relief every time the Lang/Ruutu/ watching the Hawks at my grandma’s house, listening to the incomparable Kontiola line took the ice. They dominated the puck and Ruutu delivered voice of Lloyd Petit while munching on the gooiest candy popcorn known an “Atomic” hit that brought 20,000 blood thirsty fans to their feet, while it to man (my grandma loved watching the fights). Sunday nights our ears knocked an Oiler defenseman off his. were glued to the radio. Alas, coming from a family of 9 kids, there was no Adam (I think I’ll play the last minute without a stick) Burish was way we could afford the high priced $2 tickets for the second balcony in the another young Hawk that caught my eye that night. He brought a lot of old barn. The other side of the coin was there were no frenetic energy to the frozen pond. It appeared he spent tickets to buy, every game being a sell out back then. most of the evening flying around the ice looking for Miraculously, my dad somehow obtained 5 From The Fans someone to go “postal” on. tickets to a game on a weeknight at the last moment. At any rate, after the Hawks successfully When we came home from school that day, my mom staved off a furious 6 on 4 asault by the Oilers for gave us the news; we were going to see our hero’s live the last 90 seconds, “the moment” happened. Martin for the first time! No sporting event will ever come LaPointe started clapping his hands while looking up close to the experience of seeing Hull, Mikita, Nest- to us second cousins in the 300 level. We fans in the erenko, Hall, Pilotte, “Moose” Vasko et al. live. The nosebleeds went wild. In what turned out to be one Hawks were butting heads with the Davy Keon and huge group hug, the fans in the U.C. fell in love with Johnny Bower led Maple Leafs that night and eked out this team at that moment. Yet, an even bigger “Mo- a narrow victory. I believe our seats were in the second ment” was to come. After the 3 stars were announced, to last row in the Southwest corner of the Stadium. I’ve Rich Lindbloom (Ruutu should have been one of them), the Hawks one never had a better seat. Believe me when I tell you I by one returned to the ice, applauded and waved to spent most of the evening on the edge of it. That night, their fans. I told my daughter that in 40 years of watch- the Indian Head became firmly implanted in my heart. ing Chicago sports, I’ve never witnessed anything quite like that moment. The second “moment” occurred in the fall of 1980 when my broth- It proved to be the moment “The Indian Head” was firmly implanted in er and I went to a preseason game to check out the Hawks new prospects. Taylor’s heart. She even talked my wife into letting us go to the next game One of the players we came to check out was a diminutive center who the against the Predators, our 3rd game in a row. Hawks obtained largely by default. (Remember, the Hawks probably would In conclusion, as I gazed at the Indian Head this week, I noticed have taken Doug Wickenheiser had he not been selected by Montreal first.) something that never struck me before. The brave appears to be smiling. After the Habs picked Wickenheiser, nearly setting off riots in Quebec, we I’ve been smiling since the Toews goal last year against the Avalanche. had to settle for a scrappy little speedster named Savard. While the politically correct crowd continues to get worked up about team As my brother and I watched #18 with considerable interest, “the mascots, there is nothing derogatory about the Indian Head that adorns moment” happened. Savard was flying up the left wing along the benches center ice. It appears that many of the young Hawks are realizing what a with a defenseman lining him up for an all expense paid trip into row 10 privilege it is to be wearing the Hawks storied jersey. I think any tribe would of section 103. Savard deked to the inside, went wide and then put on the be glad to have any of the braves that are skating for the Hawks this year. In afterburners. He went in all alone on the goalie, untouched by the first of fact, if you listen closely, you can hear the muffled sounds of “war drums in many NHL defenseman who would struggle to stop him over his career. I the distance,” rising all the way to the rafters. Now this is just crazy talk, but don’t believe he scored on the play; however, all I could do was smile and what a “moment” it would be to see the hoisted to the 300 sec- say, “John, did you see that!” It was at that moment we both new we had tion. Obviously I’m delusional, but the drums are getting louder. something special in this size-challenged rookie. In a lesser moment, Savard treated us to one of the funniest mo- ments I’ve ever seen at a hockey game. Rockem, Sockem, Robot Ti Domi of Rich Lindbloom is a born-again Hawks fan who says of himself: the Maple leafs did something to aggravate Savard as the two went to their respective benches for a line change. Savard, in one of his less brilliant mo- “Dan Hicks described me best – a trombone player by nature, but a hockey ments, gave Domi a little jab with his stick as they crossed paths. Domi just player at heart.” stood in front of the Hawk bench smiling as if to say, “Dennis, you didn’t really mean to do that, did you?” It was if he wanted Denis to apologize HIT EM, YOU STINK REF, KILL EM, SHOOT!! to him so he wouldn’t have to kill him next shift. I recall Savard avoided making eye contact as he warily sat on the bench between two of the biggest Hawks he could find. The third moment was my first look at Toews and Kane. That same old, “John, did you see that?”, feeling consumed me. Toews’s goal against the Avalanche brought the crowd to their feet for over a minute. I personally The Making of The Chicago Blackhawks

YEAR DRAFT TRADE FREE AGENT 2008-2009 Brian Campbell (BUF 6th round 1997 Cristobal Huet (LA 7th round 2001) Matt Walker (STL 3rd round 1998) Aaron Johnson (CLB 3rd round 2001) 2007-2008 Patrick Kane (1st round) Ben Eager (PHO 1st round 2002) from Brent Sopel (VAN 6th round 1995) PHI for (FA PHI 2000) Craig Adams (HAR 9th round 1996) from CAR for future considerations. Andrew Ladd (CAR 1st round 2004) from CAR for (CHI 1st round 2001) 2006-2007 Jonathan Toews (1st round) Martin Havlat (OTT 1st round 1999) from OTT and Bryan Smolinski (BOS 1st round 1990) for Tom Preissing (FA SJ 2003), Josh Hennessy (SJ 2nd round 2003) and Michael Barinka (CHI 2nd round 2003) Kris Versteeg (BOS 5th round 2004) from BOS for (OTT 7th round 2001) 2005-2006 Patrick Sharp (PHI 3rd round 2001) Nikolai Khabibulin (WIN 9th round from PHI for Matt Ellison (CHI 4th 1992) round 2002) and CHI 3rd round pick 2006 2004-2005 Cam Barker (1st round) Dave Bolland (2nd round) Troy Brouwer (7th round) 2003-2004 Brent Seabrook (1st round) Colin Fraser (PHI 3rd round 2003), (2nd round) Jim Vandermeer (PHI FA 2000) and Dustin Byfuglien (8th round) 2004 2nd round pick from PHI for Alex Zhamnov and 2004 4th round pick (WIN 4th round 1990) 2002-2003 Duncan Keith (2nd round) James Wisniewski (5th round) Adam Burish (9th round) info in part provided by hockeyreference.com GM HISTORY COACHES (2005-Present) Head Coach- Bob Pulford (Too Fucking Long, Too Many Fuck- Assistant Coach-John Torchetti ing Times) Assistant Coach-Mike Haviland Mike Smith (2001-2004) Assistant Coach- Marc Bergevin Bob Murray (1999-2000) Goaltending Coach-Stephane Waite The Making of The Ottawa Senators

YEAR DRAFT TRADE FREE AGENT 2008-2009 Filip Kuba (FLA 8th round 1995) and Alexandre Ryan Shannon (ANA Undrafted FA Picard (PHI 3rd round 2003) from TB for Anrej 2005) Meszaros (OTT 1st round 2004) Jarko Ruutu (VAN 3rd round 1998) Jason Smith (NJ 1st round 1992) Brendan Bell (TOR 3rd round 2001) 2007-2008 Alex Auld (FLA 2nd round 1999) from PHX for Jesse Winchester (Undrafted FA) Nate DiCasmirro (?) 2006-2007 Nick Foligno (1st round) Shean Donovan (SJ 2nd round 1993) from BOS Dean McAmmond (CHI 1st round for 1991) Peter Schaefer (VAN 3rd round 1995) Martin Gerber (ANA 8th round 2001) 2005-2006 Cody Bass (4th round) Dany Heatley (ATL 1st round 2000) from ATL for Marian Hossa (OTT 1st round 1997) and Greg de Vries (EDM Undrafted FA 1994) 2004-2005 2003-2004 2002-2003 2001-2002 Jason Spezza (1st round) Christoph Shubert (4th round) 2000-2001 Anton Volchenkov (1st round) Anotine Vermette (2nd round) 1999-2000 Chris Kelly (3rd round) 1998-1999 Mike Fisher (2nd round) Chris Neil (6th round) 1996-1997 Chris Phillips (1st round) 1994-1995 Daniel Alfredsson (6th round)

info in part provided by hockeyreference.com GM HISTORY 2007-Present: Bryan Murray COACHES 2003-2007: Head Coach-Craig Hartsburg 2000-2002: Marshall Johnston Asst. Coach- Greg Carvel 1999: Rick Dudley Asst. Coach- Curtis Hunt 1996-1998: Pierre Gauthier Goaltending Coach- Eli Wilson 1994-1996: Randy Sexton The Hawks Record When...

Playing at home...... 8-1-4 Allowing a short-handed goal...... 1-1-1 Eddie O tells crew to “stop it right here!”.... 12-6-7 Playing on road...... 4-5-3 Taking 30 or more shots...... 8-3-4 Eddie O tells us D have the forwards and forwards have the D Scoring first...... 6-2-2 Taking less than 30 shots..... 4-3-1 during 4-on-4...... 12-6-7 Opponent scores first...... 6-4-5 Allowing 30 shots or more...... 6-2-5 We fantasize about shooting Eddie O.... 12-6-7 Shoot the puck bimbo scores...... 2-0-1 Allowing 30 shots or less...... 6-4-2 We’re ecstatic Pat Foley is back...... 11-5-7 Shoot the puck bimbo doesn’t score...... 6-1-3 100 Level doesn’t cheer for anthem. 8-1-4 Ice-girls wear skirts...... 1-0-3 Shoot the puck bimbo blows editors of Commited Indian..... 0-0-0 1st of a back-to-back...... 1-2-2 Ice-girls wear pants...... 3-1-0 ANYONE blows editors of Committed Indian ...... 0-0-0 2nd of a back-to-back..... 3-2-0 ice-girls wear shorts.... 4-0-1 Playing on a Monday...... 1-1-1 Opponent played night before.... 3-1-1 Ice-girls wear hideous pink outfit...... 1-0-0 Playing on a Tuesday...... 1-0-0 Seabrook gets a flat-footed penalty.... 4-2-3 Leading after 2 periods...... 9-1-3 Playing on a Wednesday...... 3-0-2 Burish takes a penalty...... 4-3-2 Losing after 2 periods...... 1-3-2 Playing on a Thursday...... 0-0-0 Keith takes a penalty...... 2-1-2 Tied after 2 periods...... 1-2-2 Playing on a Friday...... 1-2-1 Sharp takes a penalty...... 7-2-2 In overtime...... 1-2 Playing on a Saturday...... 2-2-3 Toews takes a penalty..... 4-1-2 In shootout...... 2-5 Playing on a Sunday...... 3-1-0 Havlat takes a penalty.... 4-0-0 Cam Barker plays...... 8-4-4 Savard changes lines during game... 1-2-1 Sopel takes a penalty...... 3-2-1 Cam Barker is in Rockford due to GM incompetence..... 3-2-3 Coach Q keeps lines as they are, or at least he did..... 11-4-6 Sopel looks 6 steps slow...... 5-5-5 Lacking a #2 center...... 12-6-7 Are out-muscled by opponent.... 4-6-3 51 Phantom blows a coverage...... 9-4-6 In 1-goal games..... 3-3-7 Outshoot opponent...... 7-4-2 Toews is trying too hard...... 3-4-2 In 2-goal games...... 2-2-0 Are outshot by opponenet.... 4-2-5 At least 1 fight in 300 Level... 0-0-2 In 3-goal games...... 3-1-0 Havlat shies from contact...... 12-5-6 No fights in 300 Level..... 8-1-2 In 4+ goal games...... 3-0-0 Patrick Kane scores...... 4-3-2 Playing Eastern Conference..... 1-2-1 Scoring 3+ goals..... 9-1-4 Jonathan Toews scores...... 2-0-3 Playing Western Conference..... 11-4-6 Scoring less than 3 goals...... 0-5-3 Martin Havlat scores...... 4-0-1 Playing Central Division...... 1-0-5 PA plays Ministry...... 0-0-0 Patrick Sharp scores...... 9-2-2 Playing Northwest Division.... 4-1-0 PA plays Modern Cock-Rock..... 8-1-4 Dustin Byfuglien scores...... 2-0-1 Playing Pacific Division 6-3-1 PA plays Classic Cock-Rock...... 5-1-4 Dustin Byfuglien turns down a hit...... 10-5-5 Playing Atlantic Division 0-1-0 PA plays P.J. Harvey...... 0-0-0 Andrew Ladd scores...... 3-0-1 Playing NASCAR Division 0-1-0 Frasier fights...... 5-2-1 Dave Bolland scores...... 3-0-1 Playing Northeast Division 1-0-1 Burish fights...... 4-1-0 Adam Burish scores...... HA! Playing in October.... 4-3-3 Seabrook fights..... 0-0-0 51 Phantom scores...... 1-1-1 Playing in November.... 6-3-3 Barker fights...... 0-0-1 Duncan Keith scores...... 0-2-0 Playing in December...... 2-0-1 Buff fights...... 0-0-2 Brent Seabrook scores...... 3-0-0 Playing in January..... 0-0-0 Sharp fights...... 0-0-0 Aaron Johnson scores.... 2-0-1 Playing in February..... 0-0-0 Eager fights...... 5-0-1 Troy Brouwer scores.... 2-0-0 Playing in March...... 0-0-0 On Comcast...... 9-2-4 Scoring a Power Play goal...... 9-2-6 Playing in April...... 0-0-0 On WGN...... 2-3-3 Not scoring a Power Play goal... 2-4-1 UC plays really stupid goal song..... 8-1-4 On Vs...... 0-1-0 Allowing a Power Play goal...... 6-3-7 Huet’s five-hole open like Lindsay Lohan’s..... 2-4-2 Judd Sirott swears a lot off-air 12-6-7 Not Allowing a Power Play goal...... 6-3-0 Getting obliterated on face-offs...... 3-5-3 Committed Indian is sold outside... 4-1-2 Scoring a short-handed goal...... 1-1-0 Are even close on face-offs..... 8-1-3 Editor of Committed Indian bleeds on programs...... 1-0-0

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