THE ETRIEVER E E KLY "The overt enemies of the first amendment can be challenged. The ignorant, the irresponsible and the foolish are a greater test. " -Jean Otto Volume XXXV, Number 13 November 28, 2000 Supporting UMBC's Dawgs Win Hate Crime Battle of -Baltimore Retrievers Keep Towson Tigers and Legislation Loyola Greyhounds on Short Leash ALYSON SPURGAS Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff PRATIK S. SHAH - head coach Tom Sullivan. "Our Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff defense played great and we were Passing federal hate crime leg­ able to come out and play well islation would give Americans an In the brief three-year history both games." increased awareness of the sever­ of the Battle of Baltimore Classic, The Retrievers opened their ity of hate-motivated crimes and no one team dominated the tour­ season against Towson with high of the lasting impact these crimes nament like UMBC did last week. expectations heading into the sea­ have on victims and families, said The Retrievers exploded with son. Kirsten Kingdon, executive direc­ 87 points against Towson on "We feel we have the potential tor of Parents, Families, and Saturday and cruised to an 87-72 to win the conference," said Friends of Lesbians and Gays, or victory. In the finals, they gained Sullivan. "With the addition of PFLAG. an early lead and once again our new players and the capabili­ Kingdon's presentation, called sailed to a 74-56 victory over the ty of our young talent, we can "Passing and Enforcing Hate Loyola Greyhounds. · make some noise." Crime Laws", was sponsored by The tournament, hosted for UMBC stumbled out of the the UMBC Public Affairs the first time at UMBC' s RAC gates versus the Tigers falling Scholars Program. Arena, featured local schools behind early in the contest in front Kingdon became involved Loyola, Morgan State, Towson of a record-setting crowd of over with PFLAG after her gay son andUMBC. 3,400 people in the RAC. became the victim of a hate "This is great, not only for the crime. She said she has been con­ school but also for the city of cerned by the national rise in vio­ -Baltimore," said men's basketball see BATTLE, page 25 lent acts based on dislike of a per- Jeremy Wustner-Brown I Retriever Weekly Staff Tigers Tamed: The Retrievers mauled the Towson Tigers and see HATE CRIME page 2 then the Loyola Greyhounds at the Battle of Baltimore. National Role Model for Tech Women Talks to Students Anne Balsamo Shows How Women Can Enter Technology Through Alternative Routes

ROBERT REDDING UMBC last week. - dimension to reality. Retriever Weekly Staff Writer Balsamo holds doctoral Balsamo's lecture, "Gendering degrees in mass communication the Technological Imagination," Women who want to enter the and cultural studies and spent 15 was the second in a series of lec­ high tech job market don't neces­ years in academia before being tures sponsored by UMBC's sarily need a degree in computer hired by Xerox PARC to provide Center for Women in Information science or information systems a female perspective on technolo­ Technology, which works to Nate West/ Retriever management to reach that goal, gy. She said that women approach Go Team: A Pep Rally in the UC Plaza Monday kicked off a according to technohumanist Dr. technology from a different per­ - v''"'"''"' of Homecoming activities. Visit the homcoming web Anne Balsamo, who spoke at spective, which can add more see TECHNOLOGY page 3 site at www.umbc.edu/StudentLink/homecoming

Stephanie Jim Carrey's Grinch You know you Rawlings and gets a green can do it every­ triumphs in the Anna Kaplan thumb-up, Bounce one does now Battle of Baltimore, argue over the gets a thumb-down and then. Yes, swimming sweeps fate of Napster spotlight on Robert profanity is all Howard and wht/e Lily Crane Deluty's poetry around us, and Towson and volley­ covers global readings and a look now it's in the ball ends season at Jambo night. paper. with NEC finals. PAGE2 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS November 28, 2000 I ehind I the Scenes Christoph Irmscher: 'A True Naturalist' Dartmouth grad Dr. Seuss adopted pseu­ donym after being caught foralcohol violation JOANA GOMES DA CRUZ thing. (U-WIRE) HANOVER, N.H.- We all ate Retriever Weekly Staff Writer Irmscher urges UMBC students to green eggs and ham on our DOC trips, and make use of the resources they have we've all read "The Cat in. the Hat," but who Passionate and inspirational are the here. "There is a great library and a is the man behind this world of strange char­ best ways to describe Dr. Christoph great staff here. Students should really acters and fantastical images? What many Irmscher. His enthusiastic charisma fills take advantage of this. The collection at people don't know is that Theodor "Dr. his classrooms and impacts the way stu­ the library is underused." Seuss" Geisel was quite the prankster back He also encourages students to in his Dartmouth College days. dents study and understand literature establish and maintain communication Geisel, a member of the class of 1925, and science. spent the majority of his time at Dartmouth Irmscher grew up in Germany, with their professors. This is a small writing and partying. He was frequently where he attended the University of campus with a small faculty and stu­ found in Robinson Hall writing and illustrat­ Bonn and received his masters and doc­ dents should really make use of it, he ing for the college's humor magazine, the torate in English. said. Jack O'Lantem. Geisel spent most of his "My father was a college professor and "Stay curious-," Irmscher advises-. four years at the Big Green "fooling around ... many [of my] role models in college "Re-create the sense of wonder that in the publication offices" with his friends. where teachers so it became automatic often gets lost." He explained that a lot Along with his close friend and editor~in­ for me to pursue a career in teaching," of students have this curiosity drained chief of The Dartmouth, Whitney Campbell said Irmscher. out of them with anthologies and survey '24, Geisel would play poker into the wee Scott Daugherty/ Retriever Weekly Staf classes. "I try to instill this curiosity in hours of the morning_waiting for the paper to He says that he discovered how my students and encourage them to keep be printed. He recognized Campbell as "the much he enJoyed writing while working an-d . literature and describes- literature as­ strongest personal friendship I made at on his dissertation and since then he has "one of the forms in which people have to it alive." Dartmouth." published many books about nature, lit­ account for who they are." Geisel's pseudonym, "Dr. Seuss," origi­ erature and art. Last year he published a Studying the natural world has taught nated at Dartmouth after he was punished for collection of John James Audubon's him to respect knowledge and people who - an alcohol violation. After being caught with writings and drawings for the Library of look at the world with an open mind. He a bottle of gin in his room, Geisel was put on America. fell in love with people who go outside and probation for violating the laws of He first came to the United States in try to approximate what nature is like. Prohibition. As a result, Geisel was banned 1993 as a visiting professor at the from all extra-curricular activities, including "I love the idea of getting down and University of Tennessee. his role as editor-in-chief of the Jack-o­ looking at nature from the same level you Lantern. Thus, in order to continue to write "I had a great time teaching are on," Irmscher says. He has been trying for the Jacko, Geisel wrote under different American students and I didn't want to to incorporate this idea into his life. He sees pseudonyms until he finally stuck with go back to Germany," said Irmscher. artistic -forms as self-expressions on par "Seuss," his middle name. The "Doctor" was He returned to the states in 1996 as a with literature. "I don't share the critic's added later to sound more scientific. research fellow at Harvard University. idea that literature is a privileged area of Again, he was only supposed to stay at insight." Former Minnesota BasketbaU Harvard for a short period of time but Irmscher is not only a teacher but also a Coach Appeals Coaching Ban he met his wife, a classical composer, perpetual student. He always wants to read Imposed by NCAA and decided to stay in the here perma­ and learn new things, constantly looking (U-WIRE) MINNEAPOLIS - Clem nently. After teaching full-time at for what he calls a "luminous trait - when Haskins has appealed the NCAA ruling bar­ Harvard for two years, Irmscher came ring him from coaching until 2007 without everything comes together in a new way." special approval, said Haskins' attorney Ron to UMBC this semester. He emphasizes that we should all look for Zamansky on Tuesday. Irmscher is fascinated with nature this when reading or experiencing some- "Coach Haskins is not in agreement with the final deteanination. [of the NCAA];' Zam-ansky said. The NCAA Committee on Infractions ruled in October that Haskins was "knowl­ Matthew Shepherd Incident is Proof of edgeable about and complicit" in an academ­ ic fraud scandal within the men's basketball department. Need for Hate Crime Legislation The NCAA banned the former coach from working in an athletics-related position at a member school for seven years unless from HATE CRIME, page 1 would not be abused, if it were passed. She for the crime they committed." The HCPA that school could "show cause" before the feels it would work the opposite way, only applies to cases involving death or Committee on Infractions that Haskins son's sexual orientation, disability, gender, because claiming a hate motive would cre­ bodily injury. should be hired. or ra-ce. It deeply disturbed her that even ate a "whole other layer" that prosecutors­ President Clinton has made the pass­ Haskins has continually denied any ing of federal hate crimes legislation a wrongdoing since the cheating was first after the murder of Matthew Shepherd, a would have to prove in court. high priority for his remaining time in reported in March 1999. young gay man in Wyoming, the state Kingdon does not believe penalizing office. Kingdon fears that if George W. Zamansky said the appeal was filed a failed to pass hate crime legislation. criminals more severely for hate crimes couple weeks ago and that the NCAA has Kingdon is an advocate of federal hate would be unfair to the victims of other Bush is in the White House, this type of acknowledged the objection. crime legislation to assure future incidents crimes. "Psychological injuries are deeper legislation will not be addressed. She NCAA officials could not be reached like Shepherd's are prevented. and longer-lasting for victims of hate ·­ feels that Bush did take a fairly progres­ Tuesday. "If a victim cannot seek help within a crimes." Depression, stress, and anger are sive step in choosing Dick Cheney, the The Oct. 24 NCAA report cites Haskins' locality, he or she should be able to seek it more prevalent in victims of hate crimes father of an "outed" lesbian daughter, as acknowledgement of writing a $3,000 check from a federal agent," Kingdon says. The and can last up to three years l-onger than his running mate. to former tutor Jan Gangelhoff as "the most Hate Crimes Prevention Act, which is those feelings in survivors of non-bias­ Congressional GOP leaders have been telling evidence that the head coach knew of related crimes, she said. working hard to keep hate crimes lan­ the academic fraud." being considered by Congress, would allow the U.S. Department of Justice to Hate crimes legislatio~ also raises First guage from being passed as part of a Haskins said in a November 1999 state­ defense bill. The Clinton administration ment that "any characterization or conclu­ assist in local prosecutions, and when Amendment questions. Is the criminal's remains hopeful for the legislation, even sion that I knew or was aware of academic appropriate, to investigate and prosecute right to free speech being violated when he fraud, participated in payments to University cases in which violence occurs because of is punished for a hate crime? Kingdon's though Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott of Minnesota basketball players or Jan the victim's sexual orientation, disability, response to this question was, "No, people (R-Miss.) has stated that homosexuals Gangelhoff ... is completely false, wrong and or gender. are not punished just for espousing anti-gay belong in the same category with drug outrageous." Kingdon believes that such legislation or other hateful epithets, they are punished addicts and kleptomaniacs, said Kingdon. THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS November 28, 2000 PAGE3

Gore Challenges Outcome in Court TALLAHASSEE, Fla. (AP) - AI Gore challenged Florida's now-certified presi­ dential election in court Monday, his lawyers disputing an outcome that left him merely 537 votes short of George W. Bush. The Democratic vice president asked the court to certify him as the winner. Gore's lawyers challenged the results from Palm Beach, Miami-Dade and Nassau counties in a filing early Monday afternoon, hoping their last-ditch effort can overcome the margin for Bush that Florida Secretary of State Katherine Harris, a Bush supporter, certified for him Sunday night. The court should "certify that the true and accurate results of the 2000 presidential in Florida is that the electors of Al Gore and Joe Lieberman received the majority of the votes cast in the election," the 24-page con­ test filing said. The vote totals reported to the secretary of state Sunday were inaccurate, the Gore lawyers argued. "They include ille­ gal votes and do not include legal votes that were improperly rejected. The number of such votes is more than sufficient to place in doubt, indeed to change, the result of the election." Harris accorded Florida's 25 electoral votes to Bush, a step that will give him the CWIT Lecture Encourages Women to presidency if it holds up. Israeli Opposition Appeals To Court JERUSALEM (AP) - Israel's hard-line Pursue Careers in Technological Fields opposition appealed to the Supreme Court from TECHNOLOGY, page 1 on Monday in a new bid to topple Prime Minister Ehud Barak, while Israeli and Palestinian officials met secretly to try to encourage women to understand technolo­ resume security coordination. gy and enter IT careers. The action comes a day after Israel's "It's good for college women to see most serious cross-border retaliatory attack someone with a more traditional back­ on Lebanon to the north since pulling its ground moving into technological troops from an occupied border region in careers," said Dr. Carole McCann, head of May. the Women's Studies department. During two months of Israeli-Palestinian McCann added, "it's great to see a culture fighting, Barak repeatedly tried and failed to bring the Likud, the largest opposition party, critic invited into the technology design into his government. process, because she brings a unique sen­ On Monday, Barak again called for a so­ sibility to how humans and machines may called national emergency government that, interact." he said, "will meet the wishes of the public When Balsamo was hired at Xerox and also a real need in light of the struggle PARC, "they had to invent a new term for we are facing." me," she said. Her position as a techno hu­ Likud leader Ariel Sharon has declined manist involves examining the cultural to enter the government unless Barak prom­ implications of technology from a female ises not to resume talks with the Palestinians perspective, while asking how gender on the basis of concessions he offered at a affects technology. Mideast summit last summer at the U.S. presidential retreat of Camp David. Sandra Shattuck, associate dire~tor of the CWIT, calls Balsamo a role model for Indian Factories Closed in Dispute young women. NEW DELHI, India (AP) - Police flooded Balsamo faces a variety of challenges the city and arrested activists Monday, suc­ in her work. In designing a museum dis­ Nate West I Retriever Weekly Staff cessfully staving off widespread protests by play called "the reading wall," she had to Techno-Woman: Anne Balsamo encourages women to enter careers in technol­ workers angry over the government's deci­ ensure that the display's large panel ogy and to add their own unique perspective to their work. sion to shut down tens of thousands of small would be light enough for a 10-year-old factories it says are polluting New Delhi, girl to push, and would also inclu-de a and she was barely mentioned. Balsamo­ One of CWIT' s goals- is to examine why already one of the world's filthiest cities. braking system to prevent 15-year-old convinced her co-worker to include girls fewer women go into computer science. The closures were ordered by the boys from flinging it across the room. Harry's age to make the display more Through this speaker series, and with Supreme Court in 1996 and have been repeatedly postponed. But with more than As project manager of the exhibit realistic. online resources that ABCnews.com has 800,000 people working in such small-scale Balsamo had final authority when dealing The Research on Experimental rated the best site for women in technology, factories and the court refusing to delay any with issues such as the representation of Documents group that Balsamo works CWIT hopes to encourage more women to longer, authorities had feared violence. gender and age. One of her colleagues with is currently developing applications enter IT fields. The huge police presence managed to was designing a display called for a printer that can produce a 600-page In addition to the lecture series, CWIT deter large scale protests Monday. Last "Hyperbolic Harry," an interactive story­ book in one minute. also wants to strengthen university ties week, three people were killed and 40 were book that followed the activities of a Associate director Shattuck said that, with a program they are developing called injured in demonstrations over the court's young boy. despite UMBC's image as a tech school, "Team up Tech wise." The program would decision. Also last week, workers set fire to When reviewing the display, Balsamo CWIT is needed because the computer pair low-income middle school girls with government offices, buses and a railroad noticed that the only female in Harry's science courses don't put any focus on undergraduates in Computer Science and engine. world was his strict disciplinarian mother, gender. Information Systems management. PAGE4 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS November 28, 2000 Deadline for Signing Food Contract Delayed New University Commons a Key Issue in the New $20 Million Food Services Contract

SCOIT DAUGHERTY Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff past I 0 years and is a bidder for the new contract. Their current contract expires in UMBC retracted and reissued its June 2001. Request For Proposals, or RFP, from food UMBC last renewed its food services service providers within the last few weeks, with Wood Company in the spring of 1997, giving the university time to redefine and offering a two-year contract with the option clarify exactly what they want from their for an annual renewal for three years. The food service provider. university decided not to renew the con­ The action will result in no delays or tract this year in order to explore proposals inconveniences to the UMBC community, from other companies regarding the but will delay the final bid selection from University Commons, which is scheduled December to March, said Vice President of to open August 2001. Administrative Affairs Leland Beitel. "It is our intention that the prospective Courtesy of Golden Key "The reason we decided to rebid the bidders have as much information as possi­ Golden Opportunity: The UMBC chapter of the Golden Key Honor Society rec­ food contract was to enhance the contract ble with regard to [the University ognized member sophomores' academic achievements and concern for the com­ to provid~ more opportunit-ies for food con­ Commons]-," Beitel said. munity at the annual Sophomore Recognition Social where students were treated tract bidders to meet the needs of students, The new Commons will take over many to ice cream as they created holiday crafts for residents of the Charlestown graduate and undergraduate, faculty and of the duties of the current UC. The Pub Retirement Center and the Johns Hopkins Children's Hospital. staff, with regard to their food needs on will be closed and a comparable dining Those interested in Golden Key should contact Lynn Zimmerman at x3486. campus," said Beitel. area will be opened in the Commons. UMBC is_ holding an· open forum for According to Beitel, the food service prospective bidders Friday, Dec. 1 from 1 contractors were made aware of the Open to 3 p.m. at the University Center Forum Monday, Nov. 13. Student Fast Ballroom. At this time, the food service The bidding process is highly confiden­ Discounts nrmaround contractors will be able to ask questions tial to avoid imparting favoritism to any and receive comments from the campus one bidder. Only members of a committee community to assist them in formulating comprised of students, faculty and staff are Custom Screenprintecl T·SIIirts their proposals. privy to the specific aspects of the RFP and 111111 other 11.11 speclalt)lltems "We are asking the food contractors to the bids until the winning bid is determined submit their ideas that may be innovative and publicly released. or creative and would enhan£e the food According to-Oscar Berninger, general T-Une Printin.g availability throughout the campus," said manager of the Wood Company, it is com­ &Oo-&78 5022 Beitel. "Certainly, this would include mon business practice for RFPs to be changes or enhancements to menu sefec­ retracted and reissued. He explained that 111t1111W.'tltneprln:tlng.coDI.. tions, concepts or themes that are currently institutions reserve the right to retract their popular throughout the nation." request so they can make sure that aspects Campus Reps Wanted!!! Wood Company has provided the food that were initially considered optional can services to the UMBC community for the be solidified and required in a later RFP. POLICE LOG

Theft from Building Another student reported to personnel at of the vehicle causing several scratches tigation will continue. Nov. 7, 2:00p.m. -A student report­ the bookstore that someone had stolen his and a dent. The investigation will continue. ed that she left her wallet in a room in book. After examining the book turned-in, Theft from Building the ECS building. Upon returning personnel from the bookstore determined Destruction of Property Nov. 13, 10:02 a.m. - An employee moments later, she discovered that that the book did not belong to the ·student Nov. 12, 12:47 p.m. -A student reported reported that someone removed a gas someone had removed her wallet. The who returned it. Police were called to damages had been done to his motorcycle meter valued at $1,500 from the investigation identified suspects and investigate the incident. The investigation while it was parked on Center Road. Chemistry Physics building. The inves­ the offending students were referred to will continue to identify the person who Damages include mirror and tum signal tigation will continue. the Office of Judicial Affairs. Case returned the book. bent, clutch assembly broken, and spark closed. plug wires pulled from the plugs. The Act of Intolerance Destruction o.f Pro.perty investigation will continue. Nov. 14,. 1:.50 a.~ - A Resident Theft from Building Nov. 10,7:18 a.m. -An employee reports Assistant reported that someone wrote Nov. 8, 1:16 p.m. -A student report­ that someone broke one of the windows to Theft from Building offensive words on another students ed that while in the University Center the Howard Hughes Medical Institute Nov. 13, 10:57 a.m.- Academic IV door in Potomac Hall. The investiga­ Pub, someone removed her wallet located in the Chemistry Building. The An employee reported that someone tion will continue. from her book bag. Police are investi­ investigation will continue. removed three computers valued at $6000 gating the incident. from the Academic IV building. The pre­ Assault (Follow-up) Destruction of Property liminary investigation reveals that the Oct. 17, 10:53 p.m. - Police issued Theft from Build~ng Nov. 10, 1: 10 a.m. - A student reported room is being used as a storage room and student Michelle Bettinger, 18 YOA, of Nov. 9, 8:35 a.m. - A bookstore that someone damaged his vehicle while it numerous people have keys to the room, 1200 Elk. Mt. Pleasant Dr., Annapolis, employee reported that a student was parked on Hilltop Circle and Center including students. However, a key is not Md., a Criminal Summons in reference returned a book to the bookstore and Street. The preliminary investigation always necessary because the room is to an assault that occurred on 10/17. received $29 dollars for the book. reveals that someone walked on the hood often left open and unattended. The inves- This case is closed by arrest. November 28, 2000 PAG E 5

Is Napster selling out or doing Horror in Palestine continues. 6· what is can to stay alive?

Recent political divisions make Global warming affecting 7 way for ~ serious problems. The world's playground. T H E ETRIEVER !he Editor WE E K L' Y

Editor in Chief Opinion Editor Business Manager Jennifer Schildroth Stephanie Rawlings Matt VanDyke

Hey! I'm Talking Here!

If you have been reading this paper on a regular basis this semester, you have noticed the steady flow of articles about various speakers com­ ing to UMBC. These are experts on topics ranging from linguistics to tech:.. nology to women's issues to science. We have also had many a poetry reading by published authors. More and more with each year, this humble suburban campus gains momentum as far as the quality of its programs and the solidity of its rep­ utation. The increased number of distinguished and otherwise reputable individuals that choose UMBC as a place to stop just goes to show that this school is in fact developing. The low attendance at these lectures, on "the other hand, shows a certain level of apathy among the student body. For example, at a ·poetry reading by Gloria Oden, a former UMBC English pro- fessor, there were barely enough students to count on one hand. _ What could be the incentives for going to these lectures? Well, many -professors do offer extra credit for attending a lecture that has to do with course.material. Supporting your school could be an incentive, but realis­ tically, it isn't always. We all have classes, and our brains are full without extra information being fed into them, especially information on which we won't be tested . But nevertheless, if no one shows up at these lectures, speakers will eventually get the hint and stop coming. If they stop coming there will not be as many events on the calendar, prospective students and faculty will think nothing happens here, and that will result in a decrease of intelligent and desirable people coming to UMBC. And so on down the spiral, until UMBC doesn't look so hot on your resume any more. So, for your own sake, come to a lecture once in a while. Some of them really are interesting. UMBC's E-Democracy

While Floridians are still playing with their swinging chads, take the opportuirity to prove that we, puny university that we are, can maintain a more sophisticated voting system than the entire nation. Go to www.freevote.com/boothiquadmania2001 to cast your vote on the 2001 Quadmania Odyssey. You wanna see electronic music or country this spring? Click your mouse on the appropriate bar. Quadmania is the biggest event of the year Adam Craigmiles ...... Managing Editor Retriever Weekly staff editorials reflect here at UMBC and this is your chance to mold it. The poll, as of the Nov. Dahlia Naqib ...... News Editor the views of the editorial board; signed 26, shows Latin music leading with a whopping 1,235 votes, Alternative, Sarah Andrews ...... Asst. News Editor columns and advertisements represent the hip-hop and go-go follow with 1,208, 1,155 and 1,028 votes, respectively. Scott Daugherty ...... Asst. News Editor opinions of the individual writers and adver­ You can also declare whether you would pay for the event or not. Abby Foster ...... Asst. Opinion Editor tisers, respectively, and do not necessarily This poll, provided by Daily Jolt (umbc.dailyjolt.com), UMBC's pre­ Anna Kaplan ...... :..... Features Editor reflect those of The Retriever Weekly or the mier student-run info page, offers several such sites t<;> gauge student opin­ Michelle Jabes ...... Asst. Features-Editor University of Maryland Baltimore County. ion. Anonymously admit how many times you've skipped class this semes- ... Katie Rouse ...... Focus Editor Letters to the Editor are printed verba­ ter and see who's in the same boat. Seek revenge on academia and grade Alyson Spurgas ...... Asst. Focus Editor tim, although the editors reserve the right to your teachers and their classes. See what others have to say about them as Pratik Shah ...... Sports Editor edit any letter deemed lengthy, repetitive, well before you register for classes. These options, along with campus Brandon Dudley ...... Asst. Sports Editor libelous or otherwise in need of revision. The food menus, local movie listings, links to everything you want to know Nate West ...... Photography Editor editors further reserve the right not to print about UMBC and more make this site the best thing since internet porn. Andy Dunmire ...... Artwork Manager any letter for any reason. Letters to the Editor David Punzalan ...... Production Manager must be typed or written legibly and include Jamie Peck ...... Production Asst. the ·author's name and telephone number. Diana Zeiger ...... Production Asst. Letters must be received by 12 p.m. on Rob Relosa ...... Production Asst. Thursday and may not exceed 400 words. James Hamilton ...... Production Asst. The Retriever ~eekly publishes weekly Drew Lockman ...... Production Asst. on Tuesdays during the regular school year. Ray Shaw ...... Technology Manager Editors can be reached at (410) 455-1260 Del-Kun Dave Chen ...... Circ. Manager during normal business hours or at University Christopher Corbett ...... Faculty Advis_er Center 214; 1000 Hilltop Circle; UMBC; Baltimore, MD 21250. The Retriever Weekly is an equal opportunity employer. PAGE6 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY. OPINION November 28, 2000 You Gotta Fight for Your Right to Download! · At first, I was pissed and felt more than Napster the new image of attempting to Stephanie Rawlings a little betrayed. Since discovering this play by the rules. As I have mentioned, it is magnificent software I had regarded naive and foolish to think that Napster will Let me start out by saying that Napster Napster as a kick in the "Man's" shins. remain a completely free service for much is a gift from On High. Save for possibly How in the name of all that is good and longer. Chances are that all Napster mem­ Snood (www.snood.com) it is the best pirate-worthy could they sell out and do b~rs will be charged a reasonable monthly ~ thing to happen to the Internet since Al this to me? After a few more compulsive fee for the right to continue happily pirat­ Gore invented it all those downloads and a Dr. Pepper ing music. These membership dues can be years ago. As I write this, I'm I · gave the situation some put toward paying the Man to keep his listening to my designated serious thought and calmed damn greedy mouth shut. "writer's mix," which down. While having to pay for a service that includes the 10,000 Maniacs, POINT Chances are, this part­ is currently free is far from ideal, iris bet­ Bjork, Dire Straits an9 Dave nership was not wrought in ter than the realistically available alterna­ Matthews doing a cover of the bowels of Hell. Now, tives. Without this corporate alliance, it is Lyle Lovett's "If I Had a Boat." As I figure I'm not thrilled that Napster feasible that Napster would · www.napster.com will, in all likelihood, begin have had to pay for its it, if I were to buy CDs of all the music I Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes: Napster's new charging for its services, but "Napster member­ alleged crimes with its life. have downloaded, not

Anna Kaplan get music online, they will no longer spend There are currently many other serv­ Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff money on CDs and the artists will not get ices that offer free file sharing, such as Napster is selling out. Although this is· their fair share of profits. This is not true Gnutella and various FfP programs. The not the world's biggest surprise, with all the because the popularity of mp3s has not in difference between these and the much lawsuits dragging th~ free (for now) mp3 . any way decreased music sales. people still beloved and belabored Napster is the lack file-sharing online community down, it is want legitimate CDs. If anything, services of a central server. So where in N apster still a great disappointment. For months like Napster give unknown artists better you can simply type the name of a song now, Napster has been fighting off major exposure by putting Si!mples of their music into a central search engine and get record labels like BMG and big bands like up for grabs, and if people want to hear results for every user logged on at the time, in Metallica for various copyright infringe­ more they need to go out and buy the these other programs you must connect to indi­ ments, royalties and scores of album. Artists get vidual users and ask them all if they have the other charges that any servi9e For every . big cheese their ·royalties 3;ny­ song you want The presence of a central serv...: which allows anyone with an way. In fact, many a· http://news.excite.com er is what makes Napster so wonderful and Internet connection to down- t;orporation that figures Metallica fan grew Damn the Man: Despite Napster's convenient, but it is what got the service into load any piece of music free of out a way to make disenchanted with recent ~ell-out, most people can't fath­ trouble in the first place. There is an obvious om returning to buying music on disk. charge, with no strings money off the latest pro­ the band when it culprit And although other progiams are not as attached, could expect from a began their lawsuit . if Bertels~ann thinks that by buying this user-friendly, it is worth it to learn the tricks in society that lives to make a gram or digital fad, against N apster, and particular one out arid making it behave the · order to oontiriue downloading music for free. buck. there are at least a cou- some withdrew their practice of swapping music over the Net It is time for Napster to be replaced Free And now Bertelsmann, a support by ceasing for free will stop, it is fooling itself. For file sharing is nowhere near dead. Napster in its German media company that pie dozen teenaged com- to pay money for ·own weird, is the father of BMG, is buy- puter geeks who will Metallica CDs. · wired way start­ ing .out Napst~r. Appar~ntl~, it on[" smirk and write an. The Internet is a ed a musical dec1ded that smce the kids like · 'J great thing because revolution. Not this whole file-sharing sha- even be_tter program. it allows us to share . with a new bang, it could make some cash our thoughts, music, COUNTERPOINT sound, but with off it. bue to this merger, Napster will no · pictures, porn and whatever else our little an approach to longer ·be a free service. Another thing hearts may desire in an environment free of every big cheese corporation that figures obtaining music. Selling out on its part will not Bertelsmann wants to do is make Napster taxation, censorship and copyrights. out a way to make money off the latest pro­ stop this. into a large file-sharing program, some­ Napster is one of the best examples: any gram or digital fad, there are at least a cou­ thing akin to America Online. And every­ time, day or night, one can log on, offer his ple dozen teenaged computer geeks who Anna Kdplan is the Features editor for one loves AOL so very, very much. or her digital music collection to the mass­ will only smirk and write an even better The Retriever Weekly.·She can be reached" by A major argument is that if people can es and take whatever he or she pleases. And program. e-mail at [email protected]. THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION November 28, 2000 PAGE? Party Construction Has Led to National Division the Democrats in winning the highly popu­ candidate as supreme. frontation, battle, and victory of one of David Geier lated areas, won a large number of votes, The identification of the candidate as the two sides, whether by legislative because of the number of people located in supreme by. the American people has means or by blood. It is already happen­ The 2000 United States Presidential the districts and counties they carried. resulted in the split of the American people ing to a certain degree around the nation, Election- has revealed some stark realities The American people are totally right along the lines observed in the 2000 while most Americans are simply looking for America's political parties that may unaware of the magnitude of the shifting US Presidential Election. The Democrats, the other way or search for compromise. have been previously unknown to the political climate, because they have been in nominating AI Gore, an exceptionally Every day, doctors that perform abortions American people. The American political captivated by the ideas of what is classified bright and educated man, because of the in rural areas feel the wrath of the rural alignment has been seriously altered from in political science as the "amateur current political identification system in American community as their abortion the way it once existed. The results have activist." The amateur activists are con­ America, only received the votes of those centers are threatened. Every day, addi­ had and should continue to have far reach­ cerned with the pro­ Americans that feel that tional rural militi~ groups train further ing implications for the American political motion of policy "The 1860 US AI Gore is an embodiment and on occasion blow something up that system. goals, as magnified of their values. The is a symbol of educated America. The greatest change that has occurred through their party's Presidential Election, just Republicans, in nominat- Unbeknownst to most Americans the is which parts of the country support either nominations. This is as the 2000 US ing George W. Bush, a American political alignment has serious- the Democrat or Republican parties. In in stark contrast to "man of the people," ly been altered. The Democratic Party has modem times, the Democratic Party has the political science­ Presidential Election, received the votes of the become the Party of the elite educated generally been associated as the populist classified "profes­ divided the nation's vote rural population. The Americans, while the Republican Party party in American politics, while the sionals," who put the between the Northern elite implications for this sharp with policies that favor the · rich has Republican Party has been associated with ultimate value upon division of the American become the party of rural America. The· the elite of American society. achieving political and the Southern igno- people have had and_will American people because of their identi­ The 2000 US Presidential Election victory, over and rant rural population." continue to have serious fication with specific candidates, on per­ Map breakdown of each county's or dis­ above political poli- effects upon the future of sonal terms, are serving to separate trict's vote for the two major party candi­ cy. This entirely new the nation. America to a degree unmatched since the dates is truly revealing. The Democratic view of political organization dates back to The 1860 US Presidential Election, Civil War. The inevitable result will be Party's main support is now found around the Reform Movement begun in the just as the 2000 US Presidential Election, that American will probably be forced to - the areas of the highest population, in large Democratic Party in the late 1960s. divided the nation's vote between the fight another "Cousins War" that has in cities, while the Republican Party's main Ever since that time the nation has Northern elite and the Southern ignorant large part already begun, either on the support is now from the rural population. identified with the individual running for rural population. The North solidly sup­ battlefield or in the political arena, to Therefore, the county-district map appears office and their positions on policy. The ported Lincoln, while the South solidly determine the future direction of the almost entirely to be in support for_ the transition has been so complete, that the supported Breckinridge. The result of the nation. Republican Party. Simply, the Republican very word "party" is identified with 1860 division helped spark the Civil War. Party if the election. were determined based machine-politicking and corruption. The The solution to the problem facing the David Geier is a junior majoring in on land area, won in a landslide. Whereas, American people have come to accept the nation is one that will require the con- biology. PAGES THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION November 28, 2000 How Many Have to Die Before We Call it Genocide?

Masjid Al-Aqsa, also known as the Aqsa After studying the various Qur' anic gun, tell me, which hits harder? Between Assmaa El-Haggan Mosque, and the Dome of the Rock are revelations, Prophetic traditions and prac­ Israeli tanks and 10-year-old Palestinian built in the area of the Baitul-Maqdis. tices of the companions to the Prophet , no children, who is deadlier? Between It's not enough that we have uprooted Baitul-Maqdis in Palestine was the center rational mind could deny that Palestine as a defenseless women and army-trained sol­ them and razed their houses. It's not of the Isra' and Mi'raj of Prophet blessed and holy land is of extreme impor­ diers, who is more capable of harm? enough that we have spent the last 50 years Muhammad (PBUH), also known as the tance and significance to every believer in The Palestinians have taken to throw­ massacring them and their elders. It's not Night Journey. In the Qur'an, Allah says: Islam. What many people fail to see is that ing rocks because they have no other means enough that we have forced them into "Glory be to the One who took his servant the land of Palestine holds immense signif­ of self- defense, besides the very few guns camps, out of their land and away from on a journey by night from Al-Masjid Al­ icance for Christians, Jews and Muslims they may own. How does it make sense, their roots. It's not enough that we raped Haram in Mecca to Al-Masjid Al-Aqsa alike. It would be erroneous to deny claims that Israel, recipient of more than 2.9 bil­ their women and slaughtered their men. It's whose precincts we have blessed ..... " (Holy of the Christians and Muslims or equate lion dollars in total aid from the US (your not enough that we have humiliated them Qur'an, 17:1). Baitul-Maqdis in Palestine them to "Shangri-La- both are products tax money and mine) can not more effi­ and terrorized them. On top of all this, we was the second Mosque of wishful thinking," ciently deal with the Palestinians? now want them to maintain peace and com­ established on earth after Al­ because there is proof, (Washington Report, Oct/Nov 99, Pg. 78) promise. Masjid Al-Haram in Mecca. "After being systemati­ time and time again, that After a 10-year-old watches his I did not kill, nor maim nor rape nor It was also the first Qibla cally murdered, exter­ Jerusalem, in specific, is father killed by seven Israeli soldiers, how slaughter a single soul, however, by my (direction in which Muslims important to all three can he not pick up a rock and throw it? silence, I have contributed to the horren­ face when praying). The minated and violated, faiths. After a little girl attends her mother's funer­ dous misery of a people suffering for more Muslims faced towards how can anyone blame Aside from all the al where she can hardly even recognize the than half a century. As an idle bystander Baitul-Maqdis when praying religious ties or history face because it is so badly bruised, how can you have not directly killed a single child, during the entire Meccan the Palestinians for of Palestine, nothing in we ask her to sit tight until another peace but your silence bears a heavy sentence on period of Prophet defending their land, the world can justify ter­ accord is signed? After being systematical­ the lives of hundreds of thousands of the Muhammad's (PBUH) life their children and rorism, dispossession or ly murdered, exterminated and violated, uprooted and dispossessed Palestinians. and for the first 16 months of apartheid style govern­ how can anyone blame the Palestinians for During the past half century it has not been the Medinian period, after their identity?' ment in a so-called defending their land, their children and the Israelis who have been terrorized and which Allah ordered the "democratic" state_ their identity? harassed, it has been Palestinian blood and Qibla to be changed towards the Kaaba, Israel has repeatedly denied basic human As one Palestinian mother wrote, tears that has filled up rivers. pilgrimage site, in Mecca. Muslims consid­ rights to its Palestinians natives. In the "Two fingers up does not stop a bullet and As we explore the ensuing conflict, er prayers in Al-Masjid Al-Aqsa to be massacres of Deir Yassin, Sabra and make everything right. Righteous indigna­ with scores dying and hundreds critically equivalent to 500 times the prayers in any Chantilla, Qana and in surrounding areas, tion does you no good if you won't see the injured, one should examine the motive other mosque except for Al-:-Masjid Al­ Israeli soldiers showed no mercy to light. You ask lots of questions but won't behind the Palestinian movement. The sig­ Haram in Mecca and Al-Masjid An­ Palestinian women, children or men. hear our answers about what we need. The nificance of Palestine in the Islamic faith is Nabawi in Madina. In the Hadith, or saying Hundreds of thousands have died in the only thing left is for me to invite you to evident by frequent references to it in both by Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) he said: past fifty years all under the auspices of come watch me bleed" (Watch Me Bleed, the Qur'an and the Sayings of Prophet "Prayers in Al-Masjid Al-Haram are equiv­ Israeli self-defense. Israel, the greatest L.M. Hashim). Muhammad (PBUH). The greatest signifi­ alent to 100,000 prayers, and prayers in my military power in the Middle East, has had cance of Palestine for the Muslims is that it Masjid (in Madina) are equivalent to 1000 to resort to the slaughtering of children in Assmaa El-Haggan is a junior major­ contains Baitul-Maqdis, the holiest place in prayers, and prayers in Baitul-Maqdis are efforts of self- defense. But, between a ing in political science and economics with Islam outside of Saudi Arabia. Both AI- equivalent to 500 prayers." Tabarani. Palestinian rock and an Israeli machine a minor in international affa_irs.

greens pace

warming and a host of other environmen­ You're welcome, world. Rather than what? Looking bad to its citizens? Lilly Crane tal hazards. reduce pollution levels on the Compromise? Environment isn't just a Why the refusal to cooper­ home front, however, the US catch phrase that gets bandied about Remember how cool recess was? ate? US oil companies, it tried to bargain shamelessly when there's an election. It's not just a You'd go to lunch, and then at 1 p.m. seems, are adamant that lit­ with other countries for bargairung chip, and it's not just a plat­ you'd head out to the playground for tle can be done to reduce their unused reduction form. People are getting sick now, as a kickball, foursquare and the swings. industrial emissions with- credits. Seems we've used result of the deteriorating health of that Remember getting to play outside for a out significant increases in all of ours? catch phrase, kids, and the powers that be whole seven minutes, and then you'd get energy prices. Swell of The hole in the ozone should put their differences with other to go back inside for math, before you them to think of us, really, layer is now a mere 11 mil- countries aside and learn to compromise. contracted skin cancer? but their noble gas (and oil) lion miles across. While in the Oh, and Powers-that-Be? Stop trying You don't? Kids in Punta Arenas, thoughts contradict a .study early stages of ozone hole study, to bargain with other countries for their Chile do. On "orange alert" days, these released last Wednesday by the in the mid-1980s, the depletion was credits just because you've spent all kids living under a giant hole in the Department of linked to use of yours - it's like spending all your ride ozone layer are allowed seven minutes Energy. "Environment isn't just a catch refrigerants and tickets at the fair, and t~en whining that of sunshine, with sunscreen and shades, It seems that h h b d. d b CFCs, global you're all out. Tough cookies, maybe you because that's all their skin can handle, the DOE's report P rase t at gets an ze a out warming is also to should have spent a bit more wisely. thanks in large part to us. reflects the other when there's an election. It's not blame. Also, the Other countries are more efficient than Thanks to our contributions, kids side of the environ- just a bargaining chip and it's Chile hole that was we are ... what does that say? living on the southern tip of Chile get to mental coin: there • ' originally over the In short, the US is once again playing try living in fear that their little faces are measures to be not JUSt a platform. People are Antarctic, now has the part of the school bully, knocking will melt off, thanks to the other coun­ taken by us compa- getting sick now, as a result of a younger brother• .a other countries down and making a gen­ tries in the world that have contributed nies to reduce emis- h d . . h l h if h hole inconveniently eral mess of things. Unfortunately, on the to their hole. sions, and subse- t e etenorating ea t 0 t at located over the global playground there are no monitors Last week, the United States once quently slow the catch phrase, kids, and the pow- Arctic, which sci­ to give time-outs and hold us in check. As again dropped the ball on the environ­ depletion of the ers that be should put their dif- entists believe a country we need to stand up and take ment. In a United Nations global warm­ Ozone layer. • • could grow to the some responsibility for the thoughtless ing summit in Switzerland the US failed Despite the us ferences wzth other countrzes size of the original and unfair actions that are beginning to to come to an agreement with European containing a mere aside and learn to compromise." hole in the next 20 have a negative impact all over the world. countries regarding its sky-high indus­ four percent of the years, thanks to trial emissions levels and rampant pollu­ world's population, it produces 23 percent global warming. Lilly Crane is a senior majoring in tion, both of which contribute to global of the world's carbon dioxide pollution. And the US is too concerned about biology. THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION November 28, 2000 PAGE9

T II~ ETRIEVER and RWEEKLY lnvile vou and aguest to aspecial a•nce screening! . ~ liUl\ocK Wll¥11 llllh Ill nr1G1N UNPOUSHED.UNIEMPT. UNLEASHED. UNDERCOVER.

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Michelle Jabes gets Susan Harris delves into 11 poetic with Robert Deluty Bounce-ing mediocrity 13

Harvest BaU glitzes up Lowbrow humor flails in 12 the ballroom new Adam Sandler flick 14

b y a n n a kaplan one of you, dear read­ the Thanksgiving turkey. But ers, probably want to that wasn't even the weird part. N see, hear or read any­ This stuffy red-haired &* @# thing about turkeys now that kept on telling us that the Thanksgiving is over. But oh turkey was really 'that which is well, tough luck. The last con­ not a turkey but takes the shape test asked you to complete the of one.' Then she launched into story, in 100 words or less, that this whole convoluted story started with the sentence "One about how her partner in the year, aliens abducted the FBI was a turkey and how he Thanksgiving turkey ... " And had been stolen, too. Grampa that you certainly did, and oh, called the cops when she start­ how wonderfully long-winded ed talking about bounty you were in doing so. But that hunters and 10-year-old alien­ Valery Viner I Retriever Weekly Staff is why [INH] loves you so human hybrids. A fun year, all Jambo Jamming: Dancing helped spice up the African Cultural event in the UC Ballroom. dearly: The more you write, in all. Oh, and as it turns out, the easier this job is. On Friday aliens didn't steal the turkey­ afternoons, when this colu-mn a raccoon did." writes itself, nothing makes it That entry did not make Universal Language of Fashion happier than a mailbox full of much sense to [INH], by the entries. And without further way. Oh well. The next one Jambo Night Festivities Rock Some African Culture ado, here they are. comes from Andrew, another The first one comes from regular entrant. JADA LOKEMAN minority cultures gaining mem­ flavor is, we've got it here. Seth Scali. [INH]'s apologies "One year, aliens abducted Retriever Weekly Staff Writer bership, the number of communi­ The African Student to you, Mr. Scali, for failing to the Thanksgiving turkey. Right ties that represent specific non­ Association displayed the rich print your set of entries for the as my fa!her was about to America fulfills the concept native cultures are rising. First, flavor of Africa on Saturday, Nov. Small Green Plastic Hippo's carve it, two aliens appeared. envisioned by our forefathers only the Black and Asian Student 18, and many came to get a taste. good-bye note contest. By the Each alien had one big green because it is a country that draws Organizations existed. Next, the Despite the cold weather outside, time your entries were eye and tentacles. The top parts upon the resources of a plethora African and Filipino Student the ASA held J ambo Night. received, the column had of their bodies were covered in of cultures. Each one has a unique Associations came about. The Unlike the quiz game Craig already been written. But this a glass shell that looked like a contribution. In many ways the current pattern has become Kilborn uses to embarrass week's entry is right here, light bulb. The one on the left diversity of the UMBC campus is almost as complicated as foreign celebrities, Jambo refers to a eel- intact. similar. Increasingly, not only are policy. This is an attractive policy "One year, aliens abducted see INSERT, page 21 communities that represent however: Whatever your favorite see JAMBO, page 12 UMBC Dance Performance Poets Showcases Students

JOHN C. SMITH After a few moments, the pro­ Shine at Retriever Weekly Staff Writer jection of a prerecorded dance session illuminated the rear of the The Fine Arts dance studio, screen while casting a second sil­ Lit Night room 317, was unusually crowd­ houette as well. This new dancer, ed, standing room only, in fact. A composed of only projected light, ANNA KAPLAN good sign on the opening night of sometimes danced independently Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff this fall's Senior Dance Concert. from the live daricer and some­ This show represents the creative times led him. Beneath dim lights, in a efforts of those stalwart survivors The music stopped and so did hushed alcove with ceiling-high ofUMBC's Dance program. the corporal dancer. Then a saxo­ book shelves for walls, poets' The work of six students: Paul phone ·player walked from the words reverberated through a Stankiewicz, Kim Militch, shadows and began an improvisa­ hushed audience. The first annual Shannon Zimmerman, Carrie tional jazz set. While the recorded College Literary Night was a Rodgers, Shaudon T. Pinkney­ man continued to dance in a club great success, beyond getting a Matthews and Pamela Stevens style, the live one began a physi­ large group of college kids to sit were featured on Friday, Nov. 17. cal dialogue with the saxophonist. quietly in a small room on a The event opened with Paul The grace and self-possession Stankiewicz's "Untitled." As the Stankiewicz exuded was Saturday night. Anna Kaplan I Retriever Weekly Staff This event featured four Lyrical Allure: Sophomore Megan Calvert was one of the four lights came up, the audience absolutely indescribable. The UMBC creative writing students, UMBC poets at College Literary Night in Timonium. faced a large, translucent screen dancing silhouette accompanied as well as those from other that reached from floor to ceiling. by the video projection was very schools around the area. It was best writers. One . of their readers forgot to Then, as the music began, the engaging. Unfortunately, it also originally organized by Towson Towson students kicked off bring her work and unsuccessful­ screen was illuminated from became slightly monotonous. University, but was then joined the reading with consid~rable tal­ ly tried to recite a poem from behind, revealing a silhouette. Had he moved to the front of the by Villa Julie College, Loyola ent. Loyola was next, meeting the memory. The shadow moved to the sound screen a few times so the audi­ College and UMBC. Held on preset standard. UMBC followed The four UMBC readers - of old-school b-boy beats, "pop­ ence could view the actual Saturday, Nov. 18 in Bibelot in with some excellent work of its Geoffrey Davis, John Rollins, ping," breaking and just down­ dancer, that monotony would Timonium, the evening gave the own. Villa Julie students were the right dancing like one of the best schools a chance to show off their only ones failing to measure up. see POETRY, page 15 club dancers you will ever see. see DANCE, page 11

I - THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES November 28, 2000 PAGE 11 Within and Between Touches Hearts Robert H. Deluty Reading Attracts Poetry Lovers New and Old

MICHELLE JABES To begin the program, Kenneth Naton Retriever Weekly Editor(al Staff took the podium to make the introduction. With warm words ringing with the utmost If anyone should ever think that an indi­ respect and affection, Naton described vidual can only be highly successful in one Deluty' s work as being "refined artistry field, they need only look to Dr. Robert H. that brings a laugh, a tear .. . it brings us Deluty to be proven wrong. Graduate of home." Almost reluctantly, Deluty took the NYU, UMBC Psychology professor since podium amid applause, later saying, .''1 1980 and Director of the Clinical almost felt like leaving, that cer:tainly the Psychology program since 1988, Deluty is highlight for me, I didn't think it could get a prominent figure in the Department of any better after that." However, Deluty did Psychology. About eight years ago, while conduct his reading, which proved every waiting to first greet his adopted son at the one of those gracious words to be nothing train station, Deluty was so overwhelmed but the truth. · with emotion that he turned to writing. Due to his extensive background in the After many successful publishings of -his study of human behavior, it makes sense essays in The Baltimore Evening Sun, that Deluty concentrates in poetry of the Deluty tried his hand at poetry and found human experience. His subjects of focus that he had nothing short of an amazing include his own family, growing up Jewish Guest Overflow: Poetry lovers line the carpets listening to Deluty's book. gift. Inspired by his wife and two children, in the Bronx and his father, who was a Deluty began his journey on the long road Holocaust survivor. However not all of his Notice" and "Too Long In Academia" as On his title, Deluty remarked, "To be a to success, and was rewarded with praise poems, he mentioned, are autobiographi­ well as .the stark pain of "Survivor's good therapist or a good poet, you must and the pl}blication of hundreds of his. cal. Many come from observation and Handball." Deluty has a real knack for understand others, understand yourself, poems. interaction with others, displaying a keen writing senryu poems, which are satiric and know how to communicate with oth­ In a culmination of seven years of work, understanding of human nature and emo­ three line pieces, like haikus, that explore ers. This is exactly the title; attempting to Deluty has released his frrstbook of poetry, tion. Not only that, but he commands a human nature. Dozens of these little gold see within others, to look within myself, Within and Between. His reading and book classic sense of humor and often ends mines are included in his book. and understand what goes on between us." signing took place on the evening of. po.ems with pseudo-punch lines, to the Although Deluty's work may appear to It was obvious by the end of the reading November 13 in the UC Ballroom. The delight of listeners. lack some of the rhythmic, lyrical style that he had succeeded in his quest: the room and adjacent hallway were bustling Deluty's poetry puts on no airs; anyone · often associated with poetry, his work can applause was deafening. As for Deluty, he with guests, friends, colleagues and stu­ with a mind and a heart will indubitably fully be seen at a different level. Where looked like he couldn't have been happier. dents. Each person was invited to take a enjoy his work. His poems· have no hidden with other poets the words and sound are If you would like to purchase Within and copy of the book in order to follow along meanings, no complex philosophies, but what create the loveliness of the piece, Between, it is available at the UMBC during the reading. Deluty himself beamed merely a clear and compassionate under­ Deluty's beauty lies within the hearts of the Bookstore for $15.95. at every visitor, smiling and grasping the standing of the world and its people. Some listeners, where they find themselves dis­ hands of each like a groom at his own wed­ of his most notable works include the covered, their feelings put into words, their ding. The celebratory,. family-like atmos­ touching "In The Waiting Roo~" lives and thoughts read to them by a skilled phere was apparent from the start, which ''Empathy" (a lovely choice for new moth- . craftsman of humanity. even Deluty mentioned during the reading. ers), the terse hilarity of "Rejection Dance Seniors Strut Their Stuff from DANCE, page 13 danced as one entity in a duet with the viction. have been broken. This would have been fourth dancer. When this intro ended, the "Yenaka" by Shaudon T. Pinkney­ especially helpful during the floor work other eight dancers· entered the stage, mov­ Matthews supplied three dancers with three when the light and the video projector were ing in unison with the previous group. recorded poems instead of music. They too high to catch his image and cast a view­ "1,078 seconds" was a massive under­ wore pink ballerina .outfits and displayed able shadow. taking. Zimmerman danced the difficult incredible technical skill. The choreogra­ Next came "For by earth, two by sea," dance between dynamic and static chore­ phy matched the content of the poems with choreographed by Kim Militch. Six ography. Never did a section with great unnerving clarity, mixing both classical dancers moved to center stage wearing momentum become monotonous, yet at the movements with modern thought. A clear matching dark colored but iridescent ·same time, those sections never dwarfed departure from the style this show had smock type shirts. They began moving in the solo and small group sections. The established, "Yenaka" deftly touched on a unison, but then broke into smaller groups solos and small groups featured the amaz­ few issues confronting modern women that ebbed and flowed, joining, exchang­ ing talents of the Dance Department's most with graceful levity and balanced whimsy. ing, and separating with each other. During skilled dancers, and the talent and skill of The last dance of the evening, "With the course of this piece, the majority of the the entire troupe, combined with intelligent Tears," was choreographed by Pamela dancers entered and exited stage right and and evocative choreography, produced a Stevens. This large undertaking with ten left a trio, duet or solo on stage. This is piece that was poignant, provocative, i'OW­ dancers possesse~ sharp edges and chal­ where "For by earth,. two by sea" really erful and absolutely breathtaking. lenged the mind. Distinctly evocative yet shined. After intermission, three dancers per­ coolly detached, Stevens aciJ:oitly balanced This piece was very dynamic but with formed ·a piece choreographed by Carrie technique and concept to engender a touch­ soft, subtle movements. The dynamic Rodgers. Again, the performers moved in ing and thoughtful design that left the. audi­ nature of this piece, though, competed with unison during the opening m9ments of ence wanting more. its subtlety for the attention of the viewers "Conscious X" but then began an interac­ This concert presented the audience until the smaller groups were left onstage. tive trio. When that section ended, one of - with several moving and creative works, That was when the subtlety became notice­ the three left and the remaining duet was harnessing the talents of newcomers to the able. In a noble effort to showcase the new both sultry and sisterly. The one and only Dance program as well as our seasoned dancing talent here at UMBC, Militch shortcoming was the indecision of this sec­ soon-to-be professionals. Where the show underused the more experienced dancers tion. Were the dancers portraying sisters, succeeded in its ability to touch the audi­ that could have more succinctly illustrated lovers or both? If indecision was the issue ence, it fell short in diversity. Many of the The tr~tl1 s. a ttir: of your time can wat

+ PAGE 12 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES November 28, 2000

Jambo Jungle Fever from JAMBO, page 13 began with a moment of silence for those members that passed away. Next, attend­ ebration of African culture. ing faculty were introduced, as well as Donning formless coats to move about people responsible for the production of in the chill winds, participants desired little this year's Jambo night. Then ASA offi­ time to mingle outside. Inside the UC cers came on stage. They wore outfits of Ballroom, the guests discarded jackets to purple, pastel green, dark red and gold emerge in a stunning spectrum of African with cream. clothes, colors and patterns. The guests sat The whole evening resembled an at tables colored either all white or red and enhanced fashion show. The actual fash­ white, with selected chairs that were ion show that was part of Jambo was per­ adorned with red and gold balloons in the formed by the members of Sahara Fever. back. In Adam and Eve minimalist outfits with Many people of different ages- attended. attached flower bunches. OI camouflage In addition to students, faculty, staff, par­ gear and sassy attitudes, the music and ents and children composed the audience. models were entertaining. The dancing Waiting for the festivities to begin, they was also terrific. Three female dancers, were treated to jumping African music that dressed Fosse-style with white tanks and poured from the speaker with clarity. black leggings, undulated sensually on Perhaps we waited for a bit too long. "If the stage then burst into the audience y'all know African timing, you should be with high-energy cartwheels. The food used to it." insisted "Hanna," one of the was good, and appetites were enormous evening's two emcees. Later on "Timmy," by the time that it was served. the other emcee, apologized to his mother The evening's best moment came for making her wait so long. He would courtesy of Timmy's mother. After the have been proud to be described in terms fashion show, the emcees encouraged Marianne Hayden I Retriever Weekly Staff sifnilar to ''The African Man." That was the guests from the audience to get on stage title of a poem read near the event's open.:. and introduce themselves while they dis­ ing that described the attributes of African played their outfits. Timmy's mother Award-Winning Dessert men. The poet says that her mother warned wore a dress lined with orange and an her not to marry a non-African, who could orange flip-up hat of the same color that Just Desserts: Senior David Slak won first place at the International never have the deep-seated respect for fam­ would have been stunning in any cul­ Dessert Competition, held in the UC Gameroom on Nov. 13. ily and a woman's role in the family . . ture. The African community, like many Like the rose-bloom shaped candles in other UMBC international st1,1dent com­ the middle of the tables, theWrican tradi­ munities, relished the chance to dress tion played the centerpiece. The event up: Fashion is a universal language.

+ THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES Navember 28, 2000 PAG-E 13 Carrey Steals Joily Holiday Grinch Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole giving the kind of insanely hyper perform­ Mount C~pit. Eventually, after a lot Christmas(*** out of four)? Wrong. Uh­ ance capable of carrying an otherwise mid­ of amusing added material - bizarrely uh. Nope. Forget it. This is Jim Carrey's dling movie to memorable lengths. Which funny flashbacks to the Grinch's How the Grinch Stole Christmas all the is, for better or worse, precisely what hap­ school days and some hilarious fan­ way. pens with this Grinch. fare surrounding the crowning of Sure, the basic plot is pure-and-simple Since a totally faithful live-action take Whoville's holiday Cheermeister­ Seuss, and the moral, about valuing the real on Seuss' tale would probably run no the movie gets down to titular busi­ Movie Review meaning of Dec. 25 in longer than the cartoon's 25 minutes, this ness. the omnipresent face film version has been padded with potty True, Grinch can grow achingly by Jamie Peck of commercialism and humor, extended slapstick sequences for silly, its ornate scenery looks a tad material concerns, is as intact as ever. But Carrey to commandeer, backstory that psy­ phony - the Flintstones sets hidden the film belongs to its infamously rubber­ choanalyzes the Grinch, and an unfortu­ with fake snow - and Anthony faced star - which is sort of ironic, given nately meatier role for little Cindy Lou Hopkins' stately narration does clash that said mug is covered in a ton of just-as­ Who. On the page, she was a wee tot, but with the dominating wackiness. But expressive holly-colored latex that pays in Grinch, as played by the calculatedly­ none of this matters when Carrey is on such remarkable heed to the illustrations in cute Taylor Momsen, she's eight or nine, screen. He's non-stop entertainment, Theodore Geisel's 1957 classic children's speaks with a Dawson's Creek vocabulary, whether grumbling in his Sean book (and its just-as-beloved 1966 animat­ and hopes to inject a heaping helping of Connery-esque brogue, mimicking ed adaptation) that the Academy should holiday warmth into the two-sizes-too­ director Ron Howard (nice touch) or just go ahead and fork over the Best Make­ small heart of Oscar the Grouch's distant dangling mistletoe in front of his rear Up Oscar now. cousin. Oh, and she warbles through a and inviting all of Whoville to pucker Rick Baker is the man behind the look "touching" musical number that may cause up. of Carrey's Grinch, but Carrey is the man you to wretch in your popcorn bucket. Remember the mad comedic behind ensuring audiences will extract Cindy Lou hails from Whoville, of heights Robin Williams attained mere­ their money's worth from this pricey big­ course, where the friendly denizens always ly by loaning his manic personality to screen toy store. As the cantankerous, seem to be in preparation for Christmas Aladdin's genie? Ditto here with crafty title character - a furious, fuming (gotta love those 99 percent-off sales!). Carrey, only his feat ranks higher lump of green fur with a bulging belly, a Their merry hustle and bustle severely irks because of his tireless physicality. Universal Pictures perpetual scowl and an unquestionable the Grinch, who elects to pass the time Grinch may be a fizzy, unstable con­ Mean One: Jim Carrey brings to life one of resentment of everything jolly - Carrey griping and grousing to his loyal pooch coction, but with him at the wheel, it kiddie lit's classic characters in Dr. Seuss' not only steals the show, he is the show, Max in his garbage dump of a home atop goes down as smooth as egg nog. How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Despite Stars, Bounce No Fine Romance Whoever thought that there one speck of originality in their are no more original concepts characters, but because Buddy in contemporary romance and Abby are so vapid, no true films might want to steer clear acting skill is needed to play of Bounce (*), a dry and them, and their performances insipid film filled with almost become washed-out and Movie Review e v e r Y unemotional. Also, Abby and cliche a Buddy are so bland that one by Susan Karris 1 o v e would wonder how anyone story could have. There is not could fall in love with them. one interesting detail that Director/writer Don could help this stale disaster Roos, meanwhile, certainly bounce out of being better off moves away from the dark as a daytime soap opera than a comedy style of his 1998 indie feature length motion picture. hit The Opposite of Sex here. Actually, Bounce can be That film offers extremely summed up quite simply in interesting characters, a familiar terms~ Boy meets provocative plot and outstand­ girl, boy has guilty secret that ing performances. It's confus­ will affect how girl will think ing how Roos could move of him, boy can't bring him­ from a film about a 16-year­ self to tell girl, girl finds out old nymphomaniac who runs and leaves him, boy does away to live with her gay something extremely great, brother and tries to steal his girl comes back and they live lover to a tedious romance happily ever. after. Bounce is such as Bounce. Unfortunately definitely no exception to this - and strangely - Roos is standard. not able to carry these creative The movie stars Ben qualities to his bigger-budget Affleck as Buddy Amaral, an release. Perhaps if there was extremely successful urban ad some interesting cinematogra­ executive who loves fast-talk­ phy or musical score the filrri ing and one night stands. could have been a bit more While he is waiting in an air­ -enjoyable, but Bounce lacks Miramax Films port bar, he meets Greg He's Got a Secret: Ben Affleck woos a widowed Gwyneth Pal­ both as well. Janelle (Tony Goldwyn of trow in the romantic drama Bounce, despite the fact that he feels Bounce should be cate­ Ghost), a weary playwright responsible for her husband's death. gorized more as a disaster film waiting on a delayed flight so than a romance. If Roos were he can return home to his wife and chil­ people he has hurt, meets Greg's wife Abby able to scrap the cliches and spice the film dren, and Mimi (Natasha Henstridge of (Gwyneth Paltrow). Of course, Buddy up with his darkly comedic talent, then the The Whole Nine Yards), a sexy traveler never tells Abby the real reason why they wreck might have been salvaged. But that who catches Buddy's eye. Buddy decides met because he falls in love with her, and would have called for an entire rewrite. A to trade flights with Greg so he can spend thus begins a sappy romance in which the fum cannot be held on the shoulders of two the night with Mimi. However, the flight only interruptions are of his attempts to tell decent performances of boring characters, crashes, leaving Buddy with intense guilt her the truth about his encounter with her or on predictable plots. Bounce is so weak which spirals into alcoholism. late husband. You can figure out the rest. and bland that it will more likely crash and Buddy decides to go into AA, and dur­ Affleck and Paltrow could have been bum at the box office than jump into view­ ing his seventh step of forgiving all the enough to save this film if only there was ers' hearts.

,'- PAGE 14 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES November 28, 2000

boasts a few amusing assets: Sandler's Nicky's hilariously alarming snor­ ing, a cleverly-written celestial sequence feat.uring Reese Little Hell Witherspoon as Nicky's Valley-to­ the-max angel mom (she met Keitel Devil's in Dumb at one of those heaven-hell mixers, she explains), and Sandier-movie Details of Nicky regular Peter Dante as an entertain­ Things You Thought You'd ingly mush-mouthed metal-freak Never See in a Motion Picture No. who joins Nicky on his quest. Movie Review 3 81 : Harvey But for each high, there's a Keitel shoving lowbrow low, resulting in a fren­ by Jamie Peck a pineapple up zied farce that scores as many hits a drag-donning Hilter's derriere. as it does misses. Pot shots taken at Adam Sandler, however, has a gays and the handicapped are sure way of making the impossible pos­ to offend some, and the raunchy sible - i.e., parlaying his weird charm of a profanity-spewing bull­ brand of crude humor into a string dog that acts as Nicky's terra firma of untouchable box-office hits- so tour guide grows stale quickly. perhaps Keitel's involvement in the Sandler's dead romance with

aforementioned bit of strange scat­ New Line Cinema Patricia Arquette (as a helpful art ology can be attributed to that. Or Odd Couple: A trash-talking bulldog guides Adam Sandler, as a smitten son of Satan on a student) bogs the silly stuff down, maybe the devil made him do it, mythical quest, through New York City in Little Nicky. and a recurring gag involving the since the Prince of Darkness is pre­ underworld's gatekeeper (Kevin cisely who Keitel plays in the new decides to not relinquish his throne at the and Funny Girl-on-crack hairdo render him Nealon) growing a pair of breasts atop Sandler yuk-fest Little Nicky(** out of end of his 10,000-year reign, leading two of a decidedly unthreatening spawn of Satan his head just feels ... wrong. And sick. four). his three sons (Tommy ''Tiny" Lister Jr. and - following them to the Big Apple in an And gross. And the less said about Clint Initially, Keitel partaking in a Sandler Notting Hill's Rhys Ifans) to stage a coup in attempt to thwart them. A word of warning Howard as a sexually frisky transvestite, comedy seems like a sign of the apoca­ hopes of overthrowing him. to those put off by Sandler's mugging the better. lypse. But then again, Kathy Bates was Their dastardly plan involves freezing capabilities in Waterboy and on Saturday By the time a bizarre Ozzy Osbourne in The Waterboy, so presumably even Hades' main entrance en route to raising Night Live: It's two-fold here, physical and cameo puts a lively cap on a mostly uber-acclaimed actors need to indulge in havoc in New York City so that dad, with­ vocal. draggy fmale, barely 80 minutes have some goofiness every now and then. out any fresh sinner souls on which to feed, Since nobody's going to see Little Nicky trickled by. You'll swear Little Nicky is And Keitel looks to be having a lip­ begins to disintegrate. What they don't for plot or character reasons, it'd be a waste longer than a mere hour-and-a-half- if smacking, scenery-chewing ball in Little count on is their baby bro (Sandler, of to point out how respectively dumb and not the equivalent to eternal damnation, Nicky, although his Beelzebub under­ course, in the title role) - whose Richard thin they are. What counts is the funny then at least a month or two spent in pur­ goes quite a bit of suffering when he III-esque lurch, muffled speech patterns business, and this otherwise uneven opus gatory.

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_ :t_ THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES November 28, 2000 PAGE 15 College Literary Night a Success from POETRY, page 11 inspired by an old hippie. Megan Calvert and Joshua Bartlett- are Megan Calvert, a sophomore majoring upper level creative writing students. in Modern Languages and Linguistics, was Another scheduled reader, Cynthia Green, next. Her first poem, ''The Other Woman," could not attend. Michael Fallon, a UMBC was a masterful portrayal of unfaithfulness. English professor chose these five from a The next piece she read consisted of two selection of manuscripts he received from parts: the first written by herself, and the his poetry students. He also introduced the second a friend's response to the first. The UMBC group at the reading. two poems took different points of view on Geoffrey Davis, a senior majoring in kids making out in a coffee shop. English and minoring in Creative Writing The last UMBC reader was Joshua and Biological Sciences, was the first to Bartlett, a senior majoring in English and read. His work was filled with many dark minoring in Creative Writing. One of the images - snakes, crows, blood, suicide - poems he read, entitled "Fa~ade," likened a but he carried these off masterfully. waning relationship to a building that looks John Rollins followed Davis with beautiful at night, but whose peeling paint poems of a somewhat lighter nature. and dilapidation shows with the break of Rollins, a senior majoring in English and day. He also read the poignant "Portrait of minoring in Creative Writing, introduced Growing Older," which he dedicated to his himself as the oldest undergraduate. The grandmother. first piece he read was called "Poem out of Even without the partiality of support­ a Hat," and spawned from a poetry class ing fellow students, it is safe to say that the assignment where students had to write a UMBC poets were the best of the bunch. poem using three words they pulled out of All four were well-rehearsed and demon­ Anna Kaplan I Retriever Weekly Staff a hat. He also read a poem about medita­ strated considerable literary skill and tal­ Poetry Power:_ Senior Geoffrey Davis reads his creative endeavors in Timonium's tion and one entitled "Freedom Song," ent. Bibelot.

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• Lighten your spring course load Call or email for a catalog or visit our website. • Get a jump on graduation 410.455.2335 • Day and evening classes available [email protected] I ' • Registration: November 1-January 5 www.continuinged.umbc.edu/winter ...... 1 UMBC AN HONORS UNIVERSITY IN. MARYLAND PAGE 16 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FOCUS November 28, 2000

May Thou Be Damned From Whence Profanity Came and Why it Is Most Likely Here to Stay For Good

are seemingly common subjects that are KATHRYN ROUS~ Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff considered to be improper. "Death is a 'pro­ fane' concept in [American] English," "Most of the really good swear words explained Field. "English is full of have been around for a long time," says Dr. euphemisms for it," as it cannot be frankly Tom Field, a professor of linguistics and discussed. Other cultures have no reserva­ French here at UMBC. For instance, the tions about the topic. infamous f-word has been traced back to a Another example of the differences 15th century English poem, ·Which was would be the intensity of certain types of even written in code because it was so profanity. "[French speakers] in France offensive. have the same kind of swear words that we In today's world, it can be incorporated have here [in the United States], but in into almost any sentence. How and why Quebec, some of the worst curse words are would such a silly word be created in the related to religion, or religious artifacts," first place, and how did it end up in 21st elaborated Field. century American English? The history of "It's one of the harde·st aspects of learn­ profanity is a long and twisted one; while ing a second language," he added. "It's every culture has obscene language, each very risky to swear in a foreign language defines and uses these words differently. because it is so easy to cross the line with­ The concept of profanity is defined as out knowing it." something impious, heathen or debasing. Even though the use of profanity differs In terms of language, profanity is defined from culture to culture, there are still some by the culture. Most all language has pro­ universal features. There does not appear to Hey, Shut the (Bleep) Up fane words and gestures, but the literal be a link between the actual sounds that translations differ from place to place. make up the curse words; however, lan­ What Makes a Word Bad, and Who Really Cares? Most curse words originate from one or guage, when used as an insult or curse, is more of three categories: sex, religion and uttered at a higher decibel, and usually sounds harsh. The swear word is often SAMUEL BERMAN-FREEDMAN Most likely, you'll be saying something excrement, or other bodily functions. Retriever Weekly Staff Writer having to do with one of those categories. While words of this nature are found most shortened from its original form so it can be Now, .there are some words that don't everywhere, the intensity of the curse hurled briskly, almost as a shout or cry. Before we begin, I'd just like to say seem to fit, but after a closer examination varies. "Profanity is a kind of cross between that the following should be taken with a they can be made to. For example In other cultures, bodily functions aren't verbal and non-verbal communication," two kilogram chunk of N aCl, and that I "baloney" fits nicely into the excrement necessarily taboo subjects like they tend to explained Field. Curse words, when used in aim to offend. If you aren't offended, you category due to its usage: "That's total be in the United States. Or, they will not response to pain or surprise, are almost either agree with me, in which case you baloney" really means "you are full of s­ carry as much weight as an insult with reli­ are a psycho, or you're just not paying -" and so we can treat it as such. Other gious tones, for instance. Then again, there see*%@#&%, page 19 close enough attention. words referring to body parts and such that One thing that has always bugged me are really just dirty words taken to the next is this concept of a "bad word." I don't see level can all be placed under either sex or how any word can be inherently bad. excrement accordingly, since they deal Words are words. They are tools; they do with that region of anatomy. Others are not lead lives of their own. 'F--' is a per­ just more socially acceptable. ways of fectly fine word. It's a verb. Funner, on alluding to what you'd really like that per­ the other hand, is a good example of a bad son to do with himself. word. That word just isn't correct. One of the key issues here is intent, by As we can see from the unprintable which I mean, "What exactly do you mean title of Blink 182's song of naughty by that?" One of the problems in using things, different words have different neg­ swear words is that because of their nature ative values. Some are printable and some they are regulated very little and almost aren't. This is probably due to the subtle entirely user-defined. My personal usage line between "dirty" words and "swear" of the word f-- is that it is equivalent to words. To see exactly just how subtle the the word "meow." Bear in mind that 98 distinction is between the two, I will point percent of the time I say it, it's directed at out that a- is a dirty word until you refer an object or a situation and doesn't really to your ex-friend as one. At this point it have anything to do with the actual mean­ has become a swear word. ing. For some very odd reason, we humans I place a low value on swear words, swear almost entirely with references to perhaps even in words in general. I don't Marianne Hayden I Retriever Weekly Staff sex, excrement and religion. Need an How Dare You Say That About My Mother: UMBC Theater students demon­ example? Drop something on your foot strate their best moves for dealing with conflict; Surely profanity was involved. and see what comes out of your mouth. see CURSING, page 19 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FOCUS November 28, 2000 PAGE 17 Blood, Sex and Swearing: Favorite Pastimes in U.S. Media

ALYSON SPURGAS quite doing its job, mainly after research ratings are as follows: TVY- appropriate lophane our CDs and tapes come Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff uncovered the fact that "children are for all children; TVY7 - appropriate for wrapped in. Most of the time, they come exposed to over 8,000 murders and over older children (who can distinguish right off with the wrappers, but some­ It seems like not so long ago that any 100,000 acts of violence on TV (these between "make-believe" and reality); TVG times, like if you buy a CD from Wal­ one of us would have been absolutely numbers include cartoon violence) before - no strong language, little to no violence Mart, that little label is actually part of appalled at hearing the word "c--sucker" they finish elementary school." Angry par- and/or sexual themes; TVPG - parental the cover itself! Sometimes these little on a prime time television show. When we ents decided to take a stand. guidance suggested, infrequent coarse Ian- stickers are referred to as "Tipper were young, words like "hell" and "damn" In 1980 the National Coalition on guage, limited violence, some suggestive Stickers" in recognition of the founder seemed pretty serious. Family-oriented Television Violence was created to try and sexual dialogue or situations; TV14 - of the Parent's Music Resource Center. shows like Growing Pains and Full House make the FCC a little bit stricter. The parents strongly cautioned, may contain One day Tipper Gore heard her daughter dominated the evening airwaves, and our NCTV believes that a rating system more sex, violence, and/or strong language; and listening to a Prince song that happened mornings were spent watching Sesame like the movie rat- TVM - mature to be about masturbation, or so the story Street and Mighty Mouse, all in delighted ing system of the audiences only, goes, and decided that it was her respon­ splendor. Motion Pictures may contain sibility to censor not only her daughter's So, when did we decide that we needed Association of mature themes, music, but everyone else's in the United to entertain ourselves with more interest­ America should graphic violence, States. For years she headed the panel ing sitcoms and cartoons? Did we make have been institut- explicit sex and/or that listened to albums and decided this decision ourselves, or was it forced ed for television at profane language. which ones contained lyrics that were upon us? What has happened to the quality least 20 years ago. The FCC's newest offensive. Those albums that the panel of programming on television? Some The MPAA has invention to acqui- found to be offensive were garnished would say the problem is South Park. been rating movies esce the NCTV is with the sticker. Some state legislatures Some would say it is cable television in for over years (we the V-chip. As of have even tried to ban the selling of any general. But most of us can definitely are all familiar Jan. 1, 2000, all album with the parental advisory sticker agree on the fact that a good portion of the with the G through televisions 13 in all music stores in that state. American public seems deeply enthralled NC17 rating sys- Marianne Hayden 1 Retriever Weekly Staff inches across or So, now that we know about rating with the idea of gratuitous sex, graphic tern), and has Who's Your Daddy?: The witty slogans of larger were standards in music, television, and film, violence, and, of course, explicit profanity apparently won the young make their way into the main- required to be what about the standards at The in prolific quantities on their television consistently high stream, even appearing on easy-to-use equipped with fea- Retriever Weekly? According to Jenn sets, video games and most other forms of approval from par- stickers. tures to block the Schildroth, editor in chief, these pretty media. Which brings us to the question: ents since then. display of televi- much rely on the discretion of the editor Should everyone and anyone have the free­ Section 551 of the Telecommunications sion programming based on rating. The V- and managing editor. In almost all cases, dom to watch/read/listen to whatever they Act of 1996 requires the FCC to prescribe, chip reads information encoded in a rated the f-word does not need to appear in please (hey, this is supposed to be a free after consultation with an advisory com- program and blocks certain programs from the paper for any reason. If it is used in country!) or should guidelines be set - in mittee, "guidelines and recommended pro- the set based on approved ratings selected a direct quote, writers are usually urged the form of censorship? cedures for the identification and rating of by the parents. The chairman of the FCC to find another, more appropriate part of The whole censorship thing started offi­ video programming that contains sexual, has established a V-chip task force and the quote for publication. "Hell" and cially in 1934 when the Communications violent or indecent material about which promises to ensure information to all tele- "damn" are okay if they are being used Act created the Federal Communications parents should be informed before it is dis- vision-owning parents about the chip. for comedic value or appropriate Commission. This organization was estab­ played to children." The NCTV claims that The next big area of censorship of pro- emphasis in the Feature, Focus or lished to regulate interstate and interna­ the current rating system, devised by the fanity in the media is definitely in the Opinion sections, although "there is no tional communications by radio, televi­ television industry and approved by the music industry. Everybody knows about room for this type of language in the sion, wire, satellite or cable. Eventually, FCC, does not meet the requirements set those little Parental Advisory, Explicit News or Sports sections." The bottom people started to feel like the FCC wasn't forth in Section 551. The current television Lyrics stickers that so often adorn the eel- line is: excess is needless. UMBC's Bathroom Graffiti: Transcending Profanity

ADAM CRAIGMILES the Computer Science building. The Arts and Math/Psychology buildings are gious movement to accompany a bowel Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff UMBC delinquent is a romantic: "What a fraught with religious slogans. In any movement. lovely day for a day dream," Fine Arts. given stall anything from a giant, multi­ The homophobic also seem to be try­ In the last century, archeologists have And the UMBC delinquent is a mathe­ colored "JESUS" can be found· to a tiny ing to spread their own word in a similar unearthed and reconstructed the ancient matician: "450 + 150 = 600/3 = 200-75 penciled biblical quote, "To thine own fashion. In the Social Sciences building city of Pompeii in Italy, preserved for = 125," Math/Psychology. self be true." It's good to see the these phobes inform us that gay people nearly 2,000 years under a blanket of ash The diversity of graffiti in the men's Christians spreading the word in such a commit fellatio (gasp!). Well, I for one and earth. Among the strange and sur­ bathrooms is amazing. Both the Fine unique manor. There's nothing like a reli- never would have guessed. Still, I'm glad prising finds, Archeologists discovered to see some healthy sparring in the Fine vexing messages on the walls. When Arts building where "I hate fags" is coun­ translated, the messages revealed mean­ tered with "For gay rights." The latter, ings such as, "Laviticus has 100 girl­ though, should've competed with more friends" and "Tatius stinks." Ancient than faint graphite. Why is it that only the graffiti . . homophobes have dark markers? So it's no surprise to find that graffiti In the Fine Arts building, however, abounds these days. It's simply a part of the graffiti has really turned into a fine our human nature. Even in this place of art. In the various men's bathrooms of higher learning, one can still find the the building, one can find comical puns calling cards of smirking vandals tucked such as "How grout thou art" actually away in comer stalls of bathrooms, lewd written in the grout. Then there's the philosophies tucked in-between tiles. frat-boy sage mantras, like· the second Of course UMBC has its fare share of floor's, "Love, peace and sex." Closer to sophomoric graffiti. Obscene quips of the English department there's fun with olfactory offenses, advertisements of "Dub- if you're reading this you're lit­ phone numbers for services and stick fig­ erate - dub!" An inspired artist in the ures anchored by phalluses or made next stall drew a hieroglyphic account of buoyant by spheres under each stick arm. the phrase "I love vagina." Such high­ Strangely enough, here at UMBC, the brow bathroom humor is only matched enigmatic, the genuinely humorous, even by the third floor's "If u can read this, the intelligent slogans outnumber the your peeing," followed with "Its 'you're' crude classics. dipshit," followed yet again with '"It's' The UMBC delinquent is a poet as is is a contraction dipshit." evident by the Social Science building's Maybe we haven't changed a whole men's bathroom limerick: "Think before lot in 2,000 years. Maybe our public you stink . . . see before you pee." The Adam Craigmiles/Retriever Weekly Staff stalls will always be victimized. But at Profanity or Personal? One of many tawdry bathroom blemishes that can be UMBC delinquent is a philosopher: "Pull least UMBC can claim its debauchery as found across campus. the wool over your own eyes" found in creative. PAGE 18 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FOCUS November 28, 2000 It's a Small, Angry, Bad-Mouthed World After All The Universality of Profanity Demonstrates That We Really Can't All Just Get Along

KATHRYN ROUSE well as a few tips for the wise. (The used for unfamiliar words or to swear qui­ one's mother, father and great-aunt, Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff Retriever Weekly does not condone starting etly. For instance, "brat" does not have a should you cry out "for the love of or participating in arguments with foreign sign. In other cases, a curse word will be God," you'd better be holding your Watch two people arguing. Their arms dignitaries, exchange students or anyone replaced with a similarly obscene syn­ bloodied stump of a limb in your hand. fly about, their faces are contorted in else for that matter.) onym, such as "bastard" for "SOB." On the other side of the spectrum, in sneers of rage or disinterest, and they sput­ Most of the profanity in English has Other phrases that are common in spo­ the Trobriand Islands, sexual insults, ter, spitting out angry words. This might be Germanic roots. Even though English has a ken English have replacements in ASL, even the allusion to incestual relation­ a common scene on the UC Plaza at tendency to borrow words from other lan­ like "What?" for "What the hell?" If ships, are fine as long as they have noth­ UMBC. Then spin an imaginary globe and guages, it is now more common to hear emphasis is needed, the entire phrase will ing to do with one's wife. Hint at the pick a country at random. Here you might recognizable swearing in another country be said, but it doesn't have the same effect bedroom activities of a married couple, see two people in close conversation, than strange arguments in your own. With as it would in spoken English. and the entire village will be up in arms. speaking quietly. One makes a swift ges­ the spread of American pop culture into "There are some signs that are impossi­ Then again, other languages have no ture, and the other turns around and leaves. every comer of the globe, travelers should­ ble to translate into spoken English, usual­ traditional profanity, such as ancient Why the discrepancy? n't be surprised to hear the occasional ly because they were created by children of Hebrew. "It's funny," said Rachel In almost every language and culture, accented "oh s---" from any local, even deaf adults, when ASL is the first lan­ Singerman, a freshman political science from the Sahara to the Bering Strait, one when embedded in a rapid conversation in guage," explained Handler. Similarly, there major who has lived in Israel. "You can can find different styles of argumentation. the native tongue. are phrases that have no place in a conver­ see graffiti on the walls saying 'Go con­ Most include curse words, specific ges­ Americans tend to swear more in every­ sation in ASL. ceive.' Most of the actual curse words tures and body language. The particulars day conversation than in other languages. Most students are fairly familiar with are said in English.,.,_ In Israeli culture, usually vary in accordance with the man­ Even in a language based on English the profanity of the language they took in though, most insults are about igno­ ner of general communication of that cul­ American Sign Language - curse words high school; everyone has checked out the rance, familiar ties or commitment of ture. Still, an argument is usually identifi­ are not used as adjectives. Nor are they Pick-a-Language/English dictionary and belief. able as a dispute, rather than a conversa­ used casually. attempted the translation of a naughty sen­ The best way to learn how to proper­ tion, no matter what language the partici­ "People [using sign] are very blunt, tence or two. Often in other languages, ly, or improperly as it were, curse out an pants speak. because ASL is such a visual, in-your-face though, the degree of obscenity differs than opponent in a foreign tongue is to first UMBC is almost a microcosm of the language," says sophomore Zach Handler, in English, so your brilliant come-on line be fluent in the language, and then gain world, with its diverse student population, photography major with aspirations toward might not work as well in Italy as it would an appreciation of the culture. Lacking and there are certainly enough people here deaf education. "It's a semantic language, in the United States. the finances to take a trip abroad? Ask to argue with one another. Should you so everything is in the facial expression." An example of this would be the sever­ your suitemate to teach you a few dirty want to join in the fight, here are the essen­ Most of the curse words in English also ity of invoking the divine in countries with words in his or her language, or make up tial techniques for using profanity and exist in ASL; they may have their own a strong religious population. While you your own sign. Chances are someone obscene gestures in another language, as signs or be fingerspelled. Fingerspelling is are able to insult the sexual prowess of somewhere will find it offensive.

4 out of 5 UMBC students driV8 80b8r. • * based on the CORE Alcohol and Drug Survey, Spring 2000 'LJHS' University Health Services {410) 455-2542 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FOCUS November 28, 2000 PAGE 19 Oh, to Hell with Thee Bad Words Can Be Good from*%@#&%, page 16 sentence. English is one of the few languages that from CURSING, page 16 reflexive in nature. Especially in languages will allow a word from one part of speech enough to figure out from context what other than English, swearing is tightly tied to be used as another part of speech. This is even like writing. When I was asked to the person said. As I am writing this I with emotion. "The fact that they are not only done for profanity, but the fre­ write this I said yes, than I was told how can already hear people shouting words is irrelevant; they become more like quency of curse words used as a noun, many· words and I was like "f-- that" "What about our children?" and cries." adjective and verb ·is obvious. Other lan­ (yet here I am writing it anyway). "Where does it stop?" My response is This debate as to whether or not pro­ guages do not allow this crossing of lin­ Someone else, however, might place a this: First of all, it isn't like the kids fanity is like other language is unre­ guistic borders in the frrst place, but also high value on the aren't going to solved, as it is extremely hard to monitor. will not permit the casual utterance of word f--. While "F . ,..f: l fi d l , hear these What is known about language storage obscenities. I mean meow, he -- lS a perJ ect Y zne WO~ • t S a words from and manipulation is that language abili­ Cursing has lost much of its intensity or she might verb. Fanner, on the other hand, is their parents ties are primarily found in the left hemi­ over the years, especially in English. The mean "~ow dare a good example of a bad word." or classmates. sphere of the brain - this is where all the occasional "damn you" is allowed on net­ you pmson me If these kids careful syntactical negotiations take work television, and even in one's friendly and rape my sis- aren't hearing place. The left hemisphere is very orderly. local newspaper. In the 19th century, how­ ter" which, depending on his or her situ- these words at home or school, then The right hemisphere, on the other hand, ever, the women of the upper crust would ation, would probably end up with that they are obviously in some wacko envi- is better at distinguishing and processing surely have fainted away at hearing such person using that word less than me. ronment, in which case they wouldn't environmental sounds and non-verbal crude and coarse language. A much more When it comes to strong language and have free access to media anyway. As communication. recent example would be the phrase "that censorship, I argue that the swear words for "where does it stop?" Well, it just Because swear words, when really used sucks." A mere 20 years ago, that phrase have already lost all value and that not doesn't. It's called The Second Law of as a curse or as a cry for help, in pain or sur­ muttered under your breath might merit a printing the whole word really doesn't Thermo otherwise entitled VS-- prise, are so intertwined with the emotions good mouth soaping, but today everyone prove anything; you may as well write Breaks Down, And Then You Have To that cause them, it has been proposed that says it, or some variation thereof. Young the whole thing out because the intent is Eat It. This is why anti-profanity they are stored in the right side of the brain. people, with their frequent usage of profan­ the same and the same number of people groups are anti-reality and this kind of "Curse words are controlled by a different ity in an attempt to shock their parents, are likely to be offended. As for bleeping scientific rational thought doesn't go area of the brain, [one of the reasons is tend to become desensitized, which devel­ out words on the air, most are intelligent over well with them. F-- 'em. because] they don't require syntax," said ops a trend and eventually has a similar Field. This theory presents an answer to the effect on the masses. question of aphasiacs and other people who New obscenities are also created every have lost their common language abilities year, though they may only exist in a cer­ but are able to swear beautifully. tain region or subculture. A newer group Then again, one needs to keep in mind would include ethnic slurs, which are used that in America we use profanity, specifi­ very similarly to traditional profanity and cally curse words, very differently then have the same effect of shock and disgust. they are used in other parts of the world. Still, there are some old standbys that will While an individual might only curse in never lose their edge. Profanity has been sincere anger or scream obscenities when around as long as language and anger have in horrific pain in another country, here we coexisted, and while some trends may slip swear word~ in to almost every f-ing change, it is here to stay.

Would you enjoy working with faculty and staff mentors from several departments to develop your ideas? • Do you have 70 credits or less?

If you answered YES to the above questions, lntadisdplinary Studies may be for you! Call 455-2004 or come see us in Fine Arts 546 to learn about the • possibility of designing your own major. We offer group advising Tuesdays at 9:00am ~ and Wednesdays at 1:OOpm in Fine Arts 529 for students interested in learning more 0 ~ en about Interdisciplinary Studies . Q) ~ ~ ~ fiJ ! • Child t1 Adolescent Paycb1atry-• Theater I!# Media Studies • Intercultural Relations • Woments Studies t1 Theater • PAGE 20 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES November 28, 2000

hey, baby ··· what's your sign? l WQt @:nrin ~Qnppt ~ By Miche]]c Jabes. Aries (March 21-April20): The good Libra (Sept. 24-0ct. 23): You proba­ news: Your inability to decide whether bly know about the tooth fairy (and the the voices in your head are real will be sex fairy, and maybe even the bondage 'm ba-aa-ck. Welcome home, com- are the fear of opinions and the fear of resolved. The bad news: this will hap­ fairy). But do you know about the . rades. I trust you enjoyed a restful hearing good news. Once again, this pen only after the midnight deadline wolverine fairy? If you sleep with cer­ I and fulfilling vacation. But now we poor sap wouldn't make it for long. for their $3 million inner sweepstakes tain stuffed animals under your pillow, must tum our minds to more pressing Example: "Hey Bert, I think you need a . contest has passed. the wolverine fairy will bring you ... a matters . . . namely passing all of our vacation." "You think I ... v-v-vaca­ wolverine. And a really bad headache. classes. Most likely, many of you are tion? AIEEEEE!! !" "Hey, hey it's okay Taurus (April 21-May 21): Consume twiddling thumbs and biting nails think­ man, we'll pay you for it! Plus we'll large amounts of chocolate pudding Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22): As the ing of the upcoming finals. This is, of take care of your kids for you! And, this week, preferably in the company winter months approach, be sure to course, a natural and common fear you've won the lottery! of an Aries. It is good for the soul. stock up on moisturizer. Your skin will among college students. That feeling of Congratulations!" (Bert's eyes bug out, get so dry this winter that passing alli­ getting the test, turning it over, and he wails and jumps out the window.) Gemini (May 22-June 21): No, I think gators will try to have sex with you. thinking, "Okay, name ... uhm ... wait, Ouch. you'd better not. girnme a sec ... " Since there's always gotta be some Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21): Surely this, among others such as the poop in the Retriever every week, I Cancer (June 22-July 23): How excit­ Ignorance is bliss. Trust me. fear of heights, insects, needles (ich!) have to mention Coprophobia, which is, ing - you have a date with an extreme­ and small spaces (claustropliobia), is you guessed it, fear of poop. Give them ly attractive person tonight! If you Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 20): All of normal. They are all everyday fears that a break, I mean, poop is kind of fright­ want to make a good impression, the those "hom" jokes will reach a new many humans suffer from. Aside from ening . . . in that stinky, poopy kind of stars suggest that you not mention all peak when ... Hey, get it? Hom? Peak? these, there are hundreds of extremely way. Rhypophobia is the fear of poop­ those philosophical conversations with That was. so funny! Hey ... what are odd phobia.s. that people have somehow ing and Proctophobia i~ the ungainly your armpit. Especially not since it you doing with that stapler? Put down developed. For every single existing fear of the rectum, or the affectionately went all postmodem on you. the stapler, Capricorn. Violence is thing on this Earth, there's probably nicknamed Poop Passage. Yep, poop is never the ... Aaaaa ... some dude out there (or dudette) who's scary, people. Even the smiling, singing { . Leo (July 24-Aug. 23): Your comput­ terrified of it. It's true! For instance, kind. er always seems to pick the worst times Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 19): While Pokemonophobi

Direded by l...iea Pellnon The PuataDe Thaler Cente1.-a_~v.~toOP::~~;,.no.· ..~.u ...... ·:r· ~ IIOieiMer ...... DIU ..... 17,IIDIO ...... AA_LCMtal...... THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES November 28, 2000 PAGE 21 · persiflage by erica smith [insert name here]

from INSER_T, page 10 row inside the turkey before the extra­ terrestrials were able to escape with oday, ·oood Readers, I gring to rve wanted to devote Persiflageto .rant- picked up our turkey and the one on the the bird. Inside the alien ship, the xou ·· a different ver~i9J! · of ing about ... one thing- or another, bu~ . 4s right put an envelope where the turkey unsuspecting turkey was subjected to T Persiflage - the versiqn where- thaes not technically the nature .. oltne' was m~re moments before. Then without various anal probes, which I, in turn, in Erica, who now enjoys refetling to beast, I've restrained myself. Perhaps I saying a word they disappeared. When had to skillfully dodge from inside the herself in the third person, talks to yo~ should Write for the Opinion section ... we opened the envelope, we found a meaty dish. Unfortunately, the shrink­ the Readers, about what she d~s when hmm ••. fasCinating ide~ but my opin- , piece of paper with this one sentence. ing power wore off quickly and I gr~w she has no questions to answer. I •aJ;n not · ~ons unfortunately revolve arouna 'IOU 1 Turkey Kang and Kodos."' to my normal size again, exploding the whining or berating you. I think that I things that ~e ex~aordinarily silly1 . ~~ch Kodos? Was that a spelling error or is turkey in the process. The aliens, shall simply try an experime~L ~;: r as ,wb~ pC6i1Y Jend to.. b~jerks ?~. ~e [INH] just missing something? Pray tell, intrigued by this, wasted no time in Often~es~ wbtm I , have.f,lQ ' !i"~e~ Beltwayor ; ~p.y cc;Ufee is good. B'tjpl:{ dear Andrewt · turning their butt-invaders on me. So, (so rm inconsistent, sue m~); tll go wel~ they~re : my opinions and tbey.':ve The next entrant is a new one. His if you're wondering why I'm walking around badgering my friends to giye me gotten me through the yeats. name is John Heaton, and he submitted this way, blame the damn turkey." questions. Some ··of the more bizarre ·.·. Othet tilnes,,Iwrite nonsensicii.little three entries! Here are the first two of And finally, here it is, the moment ones have come about this way. ,. ~;Qifs passa&eslikel'mdoingrightnow.J;'iu~ them. Keep reading for the third one! you have all been waiting (well, read­ not a b(llew ; ~~~ ·:u~~~ 2 nI;v~; j~~t ~ot~ compl~telyunu~ . io : But hey, lp~to : Momma;s so I was visibly upset. I Association" is none other than this gotten to badger_them. Shouldfl ['b;tger tzy new thJll,gs l Brave' new grounfiJ. J3e marched up to the massive telescope column's newest entrant, John Heaton. you, Readers? Would y.~ 'like.;;tfiirt? T bold! Or at )east experimental! ;~t and used it to help aim massive quanti­ Why was this entry, above all the other think not. - . . ····· . have I to/l0se? .. · ties of weapons at the aliens, all cour­ wonderful ones this week, so great? If I get nothing this way; So . ...• riow you ~ow ······· tesy of the various defe:p.se contractors Well, read on ... to say tbatJ ~veto resort to .m ~~~g i~p ,. ·.····· my ,~yll• . at UMBC (you know who you are). "One year, aliens abducted the my own lgu~~tiq~. ~§t · bl(J,~ls~~¥1[~~~~;~~M~······•·••i l Sure I had no turkey, but it felt good to Thanksgiving turkey. Using the trans­ these are the . . knock the stuffing out of those aliens." dimensional hyperdrive that I made in "One year, aliens abducted the S-CI -100, I leaped into the dreamscape Thanksgiving turkey. It was not a prob­ the aliens inhabited. I found my turkey lem since the turkey was burnt, but I and much, much more. There was a­ was still ready fo-r that sleepy goodness cute Bondage Fairy laying on the ... that accompanied me during the foot­ Well, you know the rest." ball game. During the game I saw a Bondage Fairy. Ah, how wonderful. turkey fly from the sky and into the Bondage. Fairies are great things. head of; the Cowboys quarterback. Ah, [INH] likes to keep them under its pil­ what a ·go()d year to be a Redskins fan." low, but you probably know that Well, Mr. Heaton, [INHI would cer­ already~~ bondage~ tainly have to agree with you about the But before the little bondage tirade poor quality of turkey in the UMBC get~ out of hand, here is another con­ dining hall. This is one of few reasons test. This one is a classic, and not at all [INH] does not miss living on campus. because [INH] has absolutely no ideas - Especially since it got horrible food for more contests. It is the end of the poisoning from a Dining Hall tuna semester. There are tests to take and sandwich once. Stay away from that papers to write . . . and more papers to tuna, kids, it's evil. write. You try being creative every Anyway, the runner-up entry hails Friday afternoon. Anyway, the contest from Mickey. That's right, the same is for you to make up your own con­ Mickey that had some very interesting test, anything you would like t<;> see in ideas about vibrators, pillows and this column next semester. Cop-out, fairies. [INH] is somewhat intrigued you say? Well ... Baaa! with Mickey's seeming fascination The prize this week is a computer with . . . well, penetration. Here is the disc with a Mr. Pibb promotional game entry. on it. It is a rather dumb game. It was , "One year, aliens abducted the given to [INH] a while ago by an old Thanksgiving turkey. Thankfully, I was roommate. 'Till next week, dear read­ we throw all kinds of smart enough to shrink myself and bur- ers! Submit entries to [email protected], or bring them by the Retriever office in UC 214 by noon on Friday, ( ~bstacles] at you. [Insert Name Herel is not a gargoyle, but it likes to pretend. tuition i ·sn't one of them. -

Sure, we 'll have you climbing walls. But if you qualify for a 2- or 3-year scholarship, tuition's one obstacle you won't have to worry about. Talk to an Army ROTC rep. And get a leg up on your future.

ARMY R01C Unlike any other college course you can talC~ PAGE 22 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES November 28, 2000

Thesday, Nov. 28 University is presenting Persistence Remember, It's Wine Tasting, not of Vision, a multimedia piece about Wine Chugging the life and work of William Frieze­ The Chesapeake Wine Company is Greene. According to some, he holding its weekly wine tasting invented. the world's first motion pic­ tonight. Eight wines sharing a com­ ture camera, though I've never heard mon theme will be featured, plus of them, so who knows, he might some bread and cheese to nibble on. have just molested goats .. .'Anyway, This is your chance to carouse with/ it's bound to be a cool show since the upper crust for a little while, and live actors, slides, music and large don't forget to bring a thermos so you form puppets are going to be used. . can have your own wine tasting back Hmm, just make sure you aren't too at home. For more infomiation (and chemically enhanced when you go the number for AA) call (410) 522- see it, it would probably be in bad 4556. form to start freaking out to giant puppets. For more information call Thursday, Nov. 30 (410) 830-2787. Higher Culture The Joseph Meyerhoff Symphony Ongoing Orchestra will be playing a selection Erector Set Art of pieces inspired by paintings and The Meyerhoff Gallery at the other pieces of visual art. Though I Maryland Institute, College of Art is doubt if there will be any selections presenting an exhibition entitled "do inspired by velvet Elvis paintings. it." In this project, artists from all Darn. Oh well, I guess hearing some over the world sent written instruc­ classical music won't be that bad, and tions on how to build their master­ who knows, it might even make you piece, and then the students and fac­ smarter. For more information call ulty of MICA put it together. There's (410) 783-8000. bound to be some pretty cool art there, so head on over, you know you Thursday-Saturday, Nov. 30-Dec. 2 need the culture. For more informa­ Puppets! tion call (410) 225-2300. - Eli The Studio Theatre of Towson Zukowski

WHBf YOtrRE WAmiiG FOR A TRAIISPLAIT, WHAT'S MORE ·oo you have a~ exciting IMPORTANT: YOUR MEDICAL STAllS OR YOIIl FINANCIAL STATlm upcoming event tha~ you~d fike to announce ·in "Incidentally •. !'? Let us help you spread the word! Send information about your event to [email protected]. · Let the world know!

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Come to me RBIIiBJIIJt weell/r' s FunFest on the ue Plaza during tree hour on Wednesdav 11/29 to win a pass (Uood for twol to aspecial adVance screening. Passes and prlzesareavallallll whiiiiiPPIIISiall NIPUrchase DICISSarv.llmiiiDI . · per PlriiD. EmPIIVIII II Parameunt Claislcs, TIIBIBitiBrtBt WBBill and UMBC are Dlllllglbll. November 28, 2000 PAGE 25 POR UMBC Sweeps Howard and Towson for First Wins

LOREE MILLER while each contributing to the vic­ Retriever Weekly Staff Writer tory of the 400-m medley relay, they also won individual events for The UMBC men's and the team. Addadi won the 200 indi­ women's swimming and diving vidula medley, Mason won the 200 teams earned their first two victo­ breaststroke, James won the 100 ries this season as they both rolled freestyle and Langren won the 200 past Howard and Towson butterfly. Other single winners Universities. UMBC's women's were sophomore Ron Park in the squad cruised past the Howard 1000 freestyle, senior Kevin Goh Bison with a score of 114-87 while in the 200 freestyle, freshman Brad the men's team also won easily by Green in the 200 backstroke and a score of 147-58. Both Retriever freshman Nicholas Lombo in the teams also cruised past Towson 500 freestyle. with a score of 137-106 (W) and Both the men's and women's 154-83 (M). teams won the one- and three­ In the meet against Howard, the. meter diving competition. Dawgs brought home just one ath­ Sophomore fan Stuckey and seni-or lete winning in two meets but had Tammy Hendricks both delivered several single individual winners. outstanding performances as they Senior Christy Maskeroni once took first places in both the events again led the team with two first­ forUMBC. place finishes, wimting the 50-m The UMBC's women's team Amy Banowetz I Retriever Weekly Staff freestyle and the 500-m freestyle. took home many winners in their . Splash Down: The Retriever men and women brought home many individual wins in their meets Other single-event winners includ­ match against the Towson Tigers. against Howard and Towson. ed junior Megan Lochte, winning Once again, Maskeroni led her the 1000-m freestyle, sophomore team with three wins in all her Other top ·scorers for UMBC Addadi and Langren each were ing meet, as well. Hendricks was Megan Schaffer in the 200-m events. She took first in the 200 were freshmen Katrin Harrsen in the double winners in the meet. victorious in both the one-meter freestyle, while freshmen Amanda freestyle, the 400 medley relay 1000 Freestyle and Linsey Hollander Addadi won the 50 and 100 boards and the three-meter Otis and Holly Wittsack continue along with Lochte, senior Lisa won the 500 freestyle. freestyle events. Langren added boards. The men's team also pre­ to impress win¢ng the 200-m but­ Webb and s.enior Lis.andra On the men's side, the Retrievers a second win in the 200 individ­ vailed to win both competitions terfly and 100-m freestyle events. Carvalho. Maskeroni also won the dominated the entire meet, falling to ual medley. Other individual as Stucky took firsts in the one­ The men's team also soundly 400 free relay with Amanda Otis, the Tigers only in the 200Backstroke winners were freshman Zack and three-meter events. defeated its Howard opponents. Wittsack and Schaffer. Wittsack event Kevin Goh led the team with Jones in the 1000 freestyle, jun­ Currently, the women's team Several of the men claimed victory also claimed her second first place three first places for UMBC. Goh ior Evan Patrick in the 200 stands 2-3 on the season and the in two events in the meet; junior finish in the 100 freestyle, as Webb won the 200 butterfly, the 200 breast­ freestyle and Brad Green in the men stand 2-2 on their season. Mehdi Addadi, senior Steve won her second in the 200 breast­ stroke and together with James, 500 freestyle. Both teams will compete next Mason, freshman Ramon James stroke and Carvalho in the 200 but­ Landgren and sophomore Ben Erb UMBC took the top seats in in the Penn State Invitational and sophomore David Langren terfly. to win the 400 medley relay. both the women's and men's div- meet the weekend of Dec. 1-3. Retrievers defeat Towson, Loyola on Home Thrf

from BATTLE, page 1 contest with just two points in 29 evening, Loyola defeated Morgan minutes of play, both coming off State to face the Retrievers in the take a four-point lead heading free-throw shots. final. The Greyhounds also into the half, 38-34. "We used a It was Mulligan's 24-point received a stellar performance lot of energy in the frrst half. It performance that proved to spell from freshman John Reimold became a matter of who can out­ the Tigers demise. Last year's who poured in 25 points in just 26 last each other in the end down New York's "Mr. Basketball" minutes of action. However, the the stretch," said Sullivan. It was shot 9-19 in the game including forward would injure his ankle UMBC's depth, which proved to grabbing seven boards. "I thought late in the contest and would not be stronger in the end as the Peter did a great job. of atta~king suit up-against UMBC. Retrievers had nine players see the glass and getting his His play may not have made a double-digit minutes in playing rebounds," said Sullivan. difference versus the talented time. Mulligan was also pleased with Retrievers as unlike their last Up 70-55 with nine minutes his first performance in a contest, UMBC stormed out of remaining, UMBC saved off one Retriever uniform. "I was a little the gates to an 8-0 advantage. The last run from Towson, as the nervous and my shots weren't charge was led by two-time All­ Tigers were able to claw within falling. I started making some NBC guard Terence Ward. The eight points with four minutes shots and my teammates did a 6' 1" guard scorched the remaining. It was junior Rich good job of finding me when I Greyhounds for 22 points in the Giddens that would seal the vic­ was open," said Mulligan. The contest including 6-13 from tory tallying UMBC's fmal six Retrievers' 87-points also set a behind the arc. The Retrievers points in rout to the 12-point vic­ new record for most points scored early lead of 22-9 with five min­ tory. The game also marked the in a tournament game. Kennedy utes remaining proved to be highly touted debuts of freshmen Okafor also chipped in a huge insurmountable as the Retrievers Tamir Goodman and Retriever performance in the paint. The went into the half up 28-16. "I forward Peter Mulligan. "Tamir is senior tallied 16 points while thought our defense did an excel­ such a great talent. He wants the grabbing 10- boards. "He's a lent j-ob- of spreading the court," ball and can distribute it well," strong guy, but I knew I could said Sullivan. Loyola's 16 points said Towson head coach Mike overpower him. It was just a mat­ in the half also set a new record Jeremy Wustner-Brown I Retriever Weekly Staff Jaskulski. "I thought he played ter of fmding my spots," said for the least points scored in one Weekend Warriors: UMBC wins war and battle for victory in well in his first contest." The Okafor of defender Mike Shin. half in the tournament. Baltimore. Baltimore city native finished the In the contest earlier in the The second half wrote much PAGE 26 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY SPORTS Novenber 28, 2000 Headline Goes Here from STORY, page 25 Valuable Player Honors while Terence Ward and Peter Mulligan were both named of the same story, as the Greyhounds would to the All-tournament squad. get no closer than eight points. "We "The difference between last year and opened the second half trying to intensify this year is our defense is a lot better. We're our defense to stop any runs," said able to maintain our pressure and keep it Sullivan. Unlike last year's tournament throughout the game," said Sullivan. where the Retrievers blew a 16-point sec­ "Obviously our depth is going to be a huge ond half lead, UMBC not only maintained factor all sea~on where we are ab-le to bring a 16-point lead, but also managed to big bodies off the bench." Despite the loss, increase the margin up to 21 points with Loyola head coach Scott Hicks knew the less than a minute remaining. Up by eight better team won the match. "UMBC's got a points with just over five minutes remain­ great team and I pick them to win their con­ ing, it was Ward's final three-point shot ference," said Hicks. "Our shots just were that extended the lead back to double dig­ not falling and they were able to capital~ its and put the game out of reach as the ize." Retrievers ended the contest with a 16-9 The victory was a fitting end to the tour­ run. A three-point shot at the buzzer from nament where UMBC put on a show for not Loyola made the final count, 74-56. only the local schools, but for the city of ' "We were able to get the ball down low Baltimore as well. "It's great when you and finish it. Brad Martin and Okafor­ have fans come out and see that th~e guys played really well for us," said Sullivan. can play," said Sullivan. The Retrievers Okafor once again had a huge inside as the will next play their Homecoming game ver­ senior scored 10 points, but more impor­ sus Robert Morris on Dec. 2 and then face Jeremy Wustner-Brown I Retriever Weekly Staff tantly gathered 15 rebounds in the victory. St. Francis (PA) on Dec. 4 in Northeast BattHng for Baskets:- tn the packed RAC Arena, the UMBC Dawgs mark their ter­ His strong performance earned him Most Conference action. ritory during last week's Battle of Baltimore. ~------\ii~ilr--[i~13-(;~i:i\f-]Ff?)\]C~~c:;~------~

I I ! TO QUENCH YOUR CRAVING FOR UMBC SPORTS. ~------· Club Sports

Venimus, vidimus, vicimus! a second. The "B" boat, comprised of coxswain Karen Barrick, stroke Liz Boyle, The fall "head" season has come to a Jaclyn Streitfeld, Maria Zanti, Ruthanne close for the UMBC Crew Club, but the Doetzer, Tammy Drager, Ana Kuchilla, Retriever rowers made their mark on local Nancy Nguyen and Kailin Carlson, placed and regional regattas, taking away quite a 24th, beating crews from American few medals in the process. On Nov. 4, the University, Stockton, University of crew competed at the Head of the Occoquan Delaware, Binghamton, Haverford and the Regatta in Lorton,_ Virginia,_ a competition fledgling College Park crew. UMBC's_ that annually draws club and college crews men's novice eight (coxswain Rachel from all over the Mid-Atlantic region. For Bussard, stroke Zack Folan, Jack Revelle, the first time in several years, two UMBC Rob Thomas, Alessandro Campiglio, Ross boats medalled at this highly competitive Meade, Pavel Gutin, David Edeson and regatta. Mike Adkins) gave its best performance Fresh from their victory at the Occoquan since the Ariel Head of the Patapsco in Chase on Oct. 15, UMBC's novice women's September. Finishing third in their head, the eight (coxswain Jason Gembieki, stroke men placed 1Oth out of 22 crews. Jennifer Kottig, Eli Brewer, Stephanie This season has been especially reward­ Helwig, Christine Miller, Elizabeth ing for the crew. The men's novice eight Humphries, Theresa Hopper, Cori Doseff took home gold medals from the Ariel Head and Karen Lowery) rowed to a second place of the Pata~co-, and the novice women's finish at the Head of the Occoquan. The - eight placed ~econd in its event at that regat­ women, earning silver medals, defeated no place medals for the ladies. UMBC's time varsity men's lightweight four (coxswain ta. The Occoquan Chase brought victory for less than 25 boats, including nationally rec­ had been reduced by one minute, thus plac­ llse Schweitzer, stroke Kevin Sherwood, the women's eight, and the next weekend, ognized George Washington University, ing them ahead of 16 other crews, including Travis Timmons, Joshua Overmiller and UMBC's heavyweight women's varsity Robert Morris College, University of George Mason, University of Pittsburgh, Patrick Marron) turned in the day's first four competed at the legendary Head of the Pittsburgh, US Military Academy, Bucknell, Catholic University and Bucknell. exemplary performance, defeating Charles Regatta. The women placed 27th Carnegie-Mellon, Virginia Tech, William & Not to be outdone by their rowers, Skidmore, University of Connecticut and out of 44 international crews. Mary and local rival Johns Hopkins. UMBC coaches Jim MacAlister and Erika Haverford, and trailing Lafayette by only The UMBC Crew Club wishes to thank UMBC's varsity heavyweight women's Flindall also rowed the 5000-meter Head of three seconds in the lightweight event. The Dr. Louis Cantori, Jim MacAlister, boat (coxswain Gembicki, stroke LaKi-sha the Occoquan. MacAlister, a University of men- were foll-Owed by the l-ightweight varsi­ Christi-an Amendola, Erika Flindall, Renee Flanagan, Jackie Zimmermann, Cathy Baltimore alumni and head coach of the ty women's lineup of coxswain Gembicki, Foard, Bill Wells, Dave Rosen and Sunil Madrzykowski and Ginny Snader) saw sim­ crew this semester, and Flindall, a current stroke Melissa Kramer, Brigid Hagerty, Soprey for their support this semester. We ilar success. In this hotly contested race, UMBC graduate student and coach of the Natasha Davis and Lisa DeLuca, who placed will begin our training for the spring semes­ after UMBC collided with another crew and women's novice team, entered the mixed fourth overall in their heat. ter on Monday, Nov. 27, and will practice was forced to swing a wide course, the double category and placed sixth out of 19 Both women's novice eights rowed com­ 5:30a.m. Monday, Wednesday and Friday ladies crossed the finish line 1Oth out of 20 boats. petitive times; the "A" boat placed 12th out at the RAC until winter break. If you are crews. After protesting the events on the On Saturday, Nov. 11, the crew jour­ of 31 boats, defeating such crews as Temple, interested in joining crew, please e-mail us water, Gembicki and faculty advisor Dr. neyed to Philadelphia to participate in the St. Joseph's, Penn State and La Salle, and at umbccrew@ hotmail.com for more infor­ Lou Cantori returned to the team with fourth 2000-meter Philly Frostbite Sprints. The trailing Hopkins by only sixth-hundredths of mation. THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY SPORTS November 28, 2000 PAGE 27

Athlete of the Week by Danielle Kotova Sideout Star's Success Story "I don't know what I will do next past spring, Welniak who is also the team through a lot together ... and the other year· without volleyball. I've been improved her arm captain, helped lead players don't know how we feeL" As playing sports for so long, I don't swing and blocking, the team to a 9-0 sophomores they felt the joy of victory know what I will do with all the free helping her to become record this year.jhis when they won the Northeast time," said senior Kara Welniak. an important player is the second year she Conference crown. Then as juniors Welniak began playing volleyball both offensively and has served as captain, they cried tears of disappointment in the sixth grade in Omaha, Nebraska. defensively. and the job means a together when the year didn't go as She played every other sport the school She was recog­ lot to Welniak. Since well as they would have liked. offered, so when a volleyball team was nized for her hard the team votes for This year Welniak and her fellow started, she decided to try that as well. work when she was team captain, she has seniors, along with the rest of the team, Since then, Welniak has developed a voted first team all­ the sense that they felt the same joy after an undefeated love for the game that has driven her to conference as a junior trust her to lead the regular season and the same pain after work hard and become a key player on and again this year. team and guide the an unexpected loss to Robert Morris in the UMBC volleyball team. Much to her surprise, new players. Coach the finals of the NEC tournament. While attending Marian High Welniak was voted Felix Hou agrees with Although her volleyball career at School in Omaha, Welniak not only Northeast Conference the team's decision to UMBC has come to an end, Welniak is played volleyball but also excelled on Player of the Year this appoint Welniak as not yet ready to give up the game com­ the basketball and soccer teams. After season. She said it team captain. "She pletely. She is not sure if she will return a stellar senior season at her high was a really great Amy Banowetz I Retriever Weekly Staff has done a good job to Omaha to work somewhere in her school, she was awarded the Most feeling to be honored End of the Road: Senior Kara holding the team major of information systems or if she Valuable Player honors on the volley­ for all the hard work Welniak ends her volleyball carrer as together this season." will remain in the Baltimore area. But ball team her final year. she has .put into vol- · the top player in the NEC. Over the past Welniak is sure that wherever she ends Welniak came to UMBC as a fresh­ ley ball. four years Welniak up, she would like to man and joined the volleyball team. "The season went well. I enjoyed the feels that she has formed a special bond continue playing volleyball on a She has improved a lot since then. This team and enjoyed the people." Welniak; with her senior teammates. "We went recreational level. UMBC Sideout Squad Upset in Championship Match from VOLLEYBALL, page 32 strategize. Two UMBC sideouts and one Robert Morris timeout later the tally was while also recording nine aces and 40 digs. tied again at 9-9. The Retrievers would "We were struggling at first but then we then pull ahead and keep the Colonials at settled down · and played our game." bay for the win, 15-13. Minutes into Cookson commented after the match. the second game, I checked my notes and "We won, which is good, but we have to the scoreboard to confirm the situation. play at a better level." said Hou. "We The Colonials were ahead 9-1. I told fought back; [the Braves] made mistakes myself that the Retrievers were just getting and we got the opportunities [we needed]." started and tha~ this was in the bag, just like With the win over Quinnipiac, the last game one. But the agitation grew as Robert thing stan~ing in the way of the NEC Morris moved steadily forward and UMBC crown was Robert -Morris, and the dropped the'game, 7-15. Retrievers had already beaten the Colonials Okay, I thought, this is just a minor set­ earlier in the season. I compared the statis­ back and we'll come out strong in the next tics of both teams on the year, in the con­ two games and go home with the NEC ference and from the match played on Oct. plaque. However, the apprehension 28. My conclusion was simple: UMBC was increased as UMBC dropped game three in Dave Chen I Retriever Weekly Staff better and was going to win. The Retrievers yet another 7-15 decision, and now Robert You Gotta Fight: The Retriever volleyball team recorded 100 digs in the finals but would be heading back to the NCAAs Morris led the match count 2-1. lost the NEC crown to Robert Morris. soon, and it would be a tremendous experi­ Watching game four calmed me down, ence for everyone - especially for seniors as UMBC cut the Colonials' scant early 18, followed by Molabi with 14, then anxious to win." Hou commented. "There MacCord, Welniak and Marshall. It would lead short by tying the score at 2-2 then Cookson and Welniak with 11 and 10, was a lot of emotional stress [on the team], be the best way to end their season and taking over. Robert Morris managed to pull respectively. Defensively, UMBC had a and some players lacked experience. " their careers. even with the Retrievers twice, but could total-of 100 digs; Marshall led again with "Robert Morris played great, and I give The championship match between the not stop the top-seeded team from fighting 24, Thomas had 18, Kerley and Welniak credit to them." Kerley said. top two seeds was the only scheduled event its way back into the game. UMBC then tallied 15 each and ~eshrnan utility Lisa "[The Colonials] showed up to play and on Sunday, and relatives, friends and fans came back from the brink with a 15-7 win Weir fmished with 10. The Retrievers also we didn't; they were the better team that were present to show their support. I to force a tiebreaker in game five. hit .199 for the match and compiled 1a day." MacCord added. envied them because I wasn't supposed to The Colonials moved into the lead total team blocks, while the Colonials hit "This was the last opportunity for the cheer due to my status as a reporter. UMBC early, but the Retrievers would balance the. .154 and recorded six total team blocks. seniors [to keep playing] and it's unfortu­ had come a long way to be back here, and score at 5-5 later. Hou called a timeout The shock was wearing off hours later, nate that we couldn't get it for them." I was pumped up about it. It was going to when Robert Morris regained the advan­ but I still couldn't believe it- no confer­ Kerley continued. be a sweet victory. tage at 5-7, and I abandoned my post to run ence title, no NCAA's and no more UMBC "It's over and it ended badly, but I've UMBC's starting lineup consisted of up to the bleachers for an impromptu dis­ volleyball this season. Dreading the task met a lot of people [here] who are special Kerley, Welniak, Marshall, Afolabi, play of encouragement. However,. UMBC ahead, I planned my story knowing that and talented. I learned a lot and can't say Cookson and sophomore middle hitter called for time again at the 7-10 mark and now was not the time for any interviews. that I came away from this with nothing." Jennifer Thomas. Mentally I took my hat I nearly lost it; my sense of duty-rooting Later, I was able to contact several play­ Welniak fmished. off to them - they were the ones who for our team was becoming a prime objec­ ers for comments about the loss, a com­ "We had a great season, _and I'd like to would lead the way and show Robert tive now. We needed this win, and I was plete turnaround from my anticipated story thank the [UMBC] Athletic Department Morris why we were undefeated in the con­ prepared to do almost anything I could to of triumph and something that I hoped to and fans for supporting us." Hou acknowl­ ference. The excitement continued build­ help regain the momentum. I then lost avoid for fear of being misunderstood as edged. ing, and I tensed as UMBC served the first track of time near the end, and when an insensitive. I crossed my fingers and did For a team to go undefeated in the ball of the championship match. eruption of. noise exploded behind me, I what I had to do. conference again and then have the title The Retrievers got onto the board first, was thunderstruck - UMBC had lost the "It's disappointing; I didn't want it to · snatched away is unbearable, and what it but the Colonials refused to fall behind, crown to Robert Morris in game five of the end [like this]." said Welniak. Marshall would have meant for the team, their tying the score four times before taking the finals, 12-15. It was like a bad dream I added, "Ifdidn't turn out as I had hoped. families, friends and fans is more than I lead at 5-6. After the Colonials added couldn't wake up from. This wasn't the way I planned to end my can say here. But as bad as it ended, I another point to their total, Hou called for In the match, four Retrievers posted college [volleyball] career." just hope everyone enjoyed this season time and gathered the team together to double figures in kills - Marshall led with "We tried pretty hard but we were too· as much as I did. PAGE 28 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY ADVERTISI;MENTS November 28 , 2000

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March 14, 2000 1000 Uilltop Circle, BaJtfmore, Mtt2-t250· Volume X.XXIV, NumbeT 21 Officials Recommend Hig_h -Gas Meningitis Vacc-ine-s Prices After Death at TU common and dangerous vaci­ Foil Plans oAu<.iii'E~trY ~ 1~"' -scorr .. .. ctv o>f at UMBC and to fail as fluid tills the lung!> and nround the nation are ha\{1ng to them. the sac oround the lw•rt. The di•• Josaph p trick 1<<-pforlo died dig dee{l<'r into ,heir pockets ll Center da ... March 5. Kepferk, an 18-year­ rate~leningit.is i~ coo1agious ~md old theater major, Mt ill pne .. Average gasoline prlt.:es are can be tran~mitted through T~$pi­ m.otning where h.e wok~ up. He already over $ 1.50 l"-'T gallon, ratory and throut ~c:ret10JlS died that 11ight. and despite a recenl drop ID including saliva. Oir<:ct c<>ntact, Mcnlngitis an infection of crud<: oil yrices, the Energy i~ such as ooughing. kissing (lr the fluid and tissue th•t our­ Department contin.lJes ttl warn sharing drinks or ci~rare~ with rcunds the central ne1vous ::i:ys .. that prices co«limilar IO th<>s<: of the percent of UMBC students r~ly flu. including high fever, on cars to get 1.0 school. .1'\..•ndc Local Students Participate in h.e~dache. $tiff tttck, nausta. from the regular inconvenienc-es, vomiting. discomfort looking of pricey gas, :;tudcnts are also into bright lights, confu•ion and finding themselves ret:onf'i(h ..-r­ sleopin€-"SS. ing plans for Spring Br.ak. The International Feminist Conven~~- Early diagnosis a.nd treatment attract inn of the care-fro~, <:hear. .... --.. -----...----. -- March 31 through April z. fe•mmst ISSUes. -~ num~- pc .,.., vital to r•t>per •nd successful State, Amcricar• ro:~d trir ha; declinOO JE;'lN[fER SCHU.DR01 H T . . Frostburg Coll"&< tinont i;;.f and rhe College of Notre Dame of toplc• ~ tO<:hnol?g;.,., ;md much exp....""fit:nce such S~'trYptom.'-; t~ see airline lickt-t,'' said fr~shman ~ ,~-n 150 collem' campuses Maryland =· •11 sendmg delega- e,.,.,., ~onu'?"c "" ·1i host four a heahhcnre provid~r ;lli1Jl<(!oatc· Mark Sd1miu, who plans on [\ .,.. ·~· .,.. lions .. well "'""'· rhe Expo Wl • driving to New Orlcan"'- ~~ :~'!'!,,"r::.~~t~: ';!.,~:: The Expo i• a l•lil• mtcn1a- ---;;EXPo, (XIg-;8 ---;;:;, 'Mii-{ii«iiiiS. --;;;g;9 One "'t.-at ago at this time, the 3 the Feminist Mlljority Foundtion that add('Cl;SCS natiom,(averagc for ~dl grJdcs of E_,po, whi

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Classified Classified Club Notices Lost & Found Advertising Display UMBC student clubs A free service offered Advertising RETRIEvER may make announce­ to UMBC students, $6.00 per 30 words WEEKLY ments only in this faculty and staff. $0.50 per bold word $20 per column inch section. Five lines are Limit Slines. University Center 214 free, each additional $20 for advertise­ 1000 Hilltop Circle Does not include: ments under 20 col­ line costs $1.50. Personals Baltimore, MD 21250 The cost is $1.00 for a PERSONALS, LOST umn inches (410) 455-1260 & FOUND, CLUB four-line ad and 25 (410) 455-1265 (FAX) Thrift Shop NOTICES or All classified display Mon.-Fri. 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. cents for each addi­ A service for current tional line. Ads in all THRIFT SHOP. advertisements UMBC students pro­ See separate rate under $30 must Classifieds are due at 4:30 pm viding three free capital letters or schedules on this be prepaid on the Thursday preceeding the lines of advertising including bold lines page for more before insertion in issue and may be placed in for any item for safe cost an additional 50 information. The Retriever Weekly. person, mailed in or faxed. under $50. cents.

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Call for details! 328 N. Charles St. 410-539-7504 PAGE 32 November 28, 2000

U~BC Swimming gets first Athlete of the Week Kara 25 w~ns of season POR Welniak talks about her season 27 Volleyball.Quest for Second NCAA Tournament Bid Ends Retrievers' Hopes Ruined by Defending Champs Robert Morris in Heartbreaking NEC Finals DAVE CHEN selected to the 2000 all-confer­ Braves sideout and Quinnipiac Retriever Weekly Staff Writer ence fisrt team along with class­ siezed a pair of points, but then mate outside hitter Joanne the Retrievers rose up to take The awkwardness of my own Marshall and sophomore setter over. UMBC advanced steadily presence on the bus bothered me, Heather Kerley. One player each through two Quinnipiac timeouts and the final game of the tourna­ from St. Francis (PA), Robert to finish game two at 15-8. The ment replayed constantly in my Morris and Quinnipiac rounded Braves commenced the match­ mind. The disappointment that I out the list. The Retrievers closer with another couple of felt was nearly overwhelming and unquestionably took the regular points and lost the small lead I tried to hide deeper in my seat season title award while Rookie shortly after when UMBC tied the -thinking about how I shouldn't of the Year was given to Rebecca count at 3-3. The Retrievers be here. It was unbelievable that Hartmann of SFPA. would then conclude the set, UMBC lost to the Colonials of Saturday saw the Retrievers in while Quinnipiac could only add Robert Morris College in the the semi-finals versus the on one more point to its total, Northeast Conference champi­ Quinnipiac Braves, and in open­ making the final score 15-4. onships in a five-game match: 15- ing the match, Quinnipiac took Junior right side hitter Dana 13, 7-15, 7-15, 15-7 and 12-15. I advantage of early UMBC errors. Cookson led the UMBC squad didn't care if the Colonials had After five UMBC sideouts, the with 14 kills (hitting .545) and earned it or not, it just wasn't Braves gained a 7-0 lead on the four digs, while Marshall had 10 right for the Retrievers to come number one seeded Retrievers. A kills, two serving aces and four home without the NEC title this kill by senior Bola Afolabi on a digs. Kerley added 34 assists, five season. serve by Marshall put UMBC on aces and six digs for the team; the On Friday, Nov. 17, UMBC the scoreboard, and after two balanced defense was a result of senior Kara Welniak, team co­ more Quinnipiac points, Hou team effort and contribution. The captain and middle hitter, was called for time with the Retrievers Retrievers hit .263 for the match announced as the NEC Player of trailing 2-7. UMBC then went on and held the Braves to just .092, the Year, while UMBC head a 13-4 run to claim game one, 15- Dave Chen I Retriever Weekly Staff coach Felix Hou was voted Coach 11. Shooting Star: Senior Joanne Marshall led UMBC with 18 kills of the Year. Welniak was also Game two started with a see VOLLEYBALL, page 27 and 24 digs in the unfortunate loss to the Colonials. Women's Basketball Falters in Central Florida Tournament

BRANDON DUDLEY lead through the first 12 minutes of Terriers would go on a 10-point Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff the second half. The Retrievers got scoring run that would last for within nine points, the closest they 6:30, leaving the Retrievers down The Retriever women's basket­ would get for the rest of the game, 56-65 with less that four minutes ball team traveled to the University after two successful free throw to go in the second half. The of Central Florida for the Golden attempts. The Eagles quickly got Dawgs were never able to recover, Knights Classic on Nov. 17 and 18 their lead up to 11 points and never losing 64-76. The team shot only to open up its season this year. The let the Retrievers get within 10 for 24 percent for the second half and Dawgs did not fare very well, remainder of the match-up. 46 percent for the game. however, losing both of their _Sophomore Tiffany Collled the Sophomore Shalayna Johnson games. Retrievers in scoring with 13 led the Retrievers with 13 points, The Retrievers lost their first points, followed by junior Sheila going 5-7 from the field and 3-4 game to the University of North Johnson with 12. Coil was 5-9 from three-point range. Texas Eagles. The Retrievers from the field, and Johnson was 6- Sophomore Liz Dickey put 12 trailed 11-9 with 13:44 remaining 12. The pair would also lead the points on the board and pulled in the first half when the Eagles team in rebounds with six apiece. down eight rebounds. Coli fin­ went on an unanswered 10-point The team shot 33 percent for the ished her second consecutive run. The Eagles would get their game. game scoring in double-digits with largest lead of the game with 2:34 The Retrievers faced the 10 points. Freshman Nicole remaining in the first half, a 16- Wofford University Terriers on Carden ended with 10 points, also, point advantage at 32-16. The Nov. 18. The Retrievers shot 50 and sophomore Jessie Brown fm­ Dawgs would go on a 5-1 run late percent from the floor in the first ished with nine points and eight in the half, but would still trail by half, ending it with 42 points, just assists. 12, 33-19, going into the second four less than their game total in With the Retrievers losses, half. The Retrievers shot 34 per­ the first game against North Texas. UMBC drops to 0-2 on the season. cent from the floor for the half. The Retrievers led 56-55 with They will next face Towson The Eagles held a double-digit 10 minutes left in the game, but the University on Nov. 28. This Week In Sports

Men's ~J lt~~ Women's Swimming

~N~Basketball Basketball - ..~ =~ & Diving

Sat. Dec. 2 Tues. Nov. 28 Robert Morris @ UMBC, 7:00 p.m. UMBC @ Towson, 5:00 p.m. File Photo Fri.-Sun. Dec. 1-3 Outshot, Outplayed: Women's basketball lost both their games Mon. Dec. 4 Sat. Dec. 2 Penn State lnvitiational at the UCF Tournament. St. Francis (PA) @ UMBC, 7:30 p.m. UMBC @ College Park, TBA