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Nottingham City Council is The may be at the heart of the city’s celebrations this March, April and May but there’s plenty going on around it. Why not also come along to some of the other events presented or supported by City Council: proudto present

2 Dec - 1 Apr Exhibition: facing east: Yard Gallery 28 Apr - 14 Jun Abolition of the Slave Trade Nottingham Contemporary Landscape Act Commemorative Exhibition Photography from Baltic Areas 3 May Museums and Galleries Old Market Square 2 Feb - 28 Mar Exhibition: Parade Angel Row Gallery Month Launch Event 2 Feb - 28 Mar Exhibition: Brewhouse Yard 3, 10, 17, The Dungeoneer’s Cave Tour A Picture of 24, 31 May 10 Feb - 15 Apr Exhibition: Glimpse: a selection Nottingham Castle 5 May The Nottingham Refugee Campaign Brewhouse Yard from the Lace collections Group May Day Celebration 10 Feb - 29 Apr Exhibition: Prickings: Nottingham Castle Catherine Bertola 5 May Activity Session: Paper Kites Green’s Windmill 10 Feb - 29 Apr Exhibition: Borrowings: Nottingham Castle 5 - 6 May Nottingham Festival of Old Market Square Phil Eglin Women's and Girls Football 10 Feb - 1 Jul Heroes & Villains: Galleries of Justice 6 May Hardy Plant Society sale & Park Who do you think you are? 7 May 1940’s Knees-Up Brewhouse Yard 12 Mar - 7 Apr Exhibition: The Memories Shop former Beatties shop, Mount Street 7 May May Day Windmills Green’s Windmill 25 Mar Windmill Fridge Magnets: Green’s Windmill 7 May Women’s FA Cup Final The City Ground Family activity 8 - 9 May Fine Food Fair Old Market Square 25 Mar Full Steam Ahead Wollaton Industrial Museum 12 May Tudor Fun & Games Wollaton Hall & Park 29 Mar Talk: The rise and fall of Nottingham Castle the cap,1550-1900 12 - 13 May National Mills Weekend Green’s Windmill 30 Mar Nottingham Classics: Royal Concert Hall 18 May Nottingham Classics: Hallé Royal Concert Hall City of Symphony 19 May - 1 Jul Nottingham Castle Exhibitions: Nottingham Castle 31 Mar - 13 Apr Easter Family events Green’s Windmill EXPOSED Climate Change in Britain's Backyard 31 Mar - 29 Apr Exhibition: Public Spaces of Brewhouse Yard Nottingham City Council 19 May Dire Deeds & Horrible Hauntings Wollaton Hall & Park 1 Apr Talk: Smythson at Wollaton Hall Wollaton Hall 19 May A Night at the Museum Newstead Abbey 1 Apr The House at Newstead Abbey Newstead Abbey 25 May - 14 Jul Exhibition: Heroes Angel Row Gallery opens for summer 25 May - 14 Jul Exhibition: Janette Parris Angel Row Gallery 1 Apr - 30 Sept Exhibition: Jenny Baxter Newstead Abbey A Sense of Place 26 - 28 May City Pulse Music Festival Various City Centre locations 2 - 13 Apr Easter Fun for Families Brewhouse Yard 26 May CSI Green’s Mill Green’s Windmill 2 - 13 Apr The Zone: Easter Activities Nottingham City Council 26 May - 17 Jun Exhibition: Luke Skiffington Yard Gallery, Wollaton Hall Leisure Centres and Park 3 - 14 Apr Guys and Dolls Theatre Royal 26 May Mothwatch Green’s Windmill 3 - 4 Apr Lace Making in the Galleries Nottingham Castle 27 May Sunday Steaming Wollaton Industrial Museum 6 - 7 Apr Flower and Bulb Festival Old Market Square 27 May The Green Festival The Arboretum 6 - 9 Apr Eggstravaganza! Nottingham Castle Family Easter event 28 May Audio Massage in the Park The Arboretum 6 Apr - 6 May Exhibition: Yard Gallery, Wollaton Hall 27 May Activity Session: Make a Glider Green’s Windmill Wildlife Photographer of the Year and Park 30 May Activity Session: Green’s Windmill 7 - 9 Apr Wollaton Hall Grand Reopening Wollaton Hall Scone Baking for Children For more information visit www.nottinghamcity.gov.uk/enjoy 30 May Activity Session: Nottingham Castle Masters of the Universe 6 Apr - 4 May Exhibition: Parade Angel Row Gallery 8 Apr Easter Fun Day Newstead Abbey 31 May Activity Session: Easy Beads Nottingham Castle from Recycled Paper 9 - 10 Apr Lace Making in the Galleries Nottingham Castle 31 May Pizza Baking for Little’uns Green’s Windmill 12 Apr Lace Making in the Galleries Nottingham Castle 14 Apr British Juggling Championship Old Market Square For further information about these events and many others log onto 14 Apr Have a Go Archery Wollaton Hall www.nottinghamcity.gov.uk/enjoy or call the Nottingham Tourism Centre on 08444 77 5678 17 - 20 Apr Torvill and Dean's Information correct at time of print. Whilst every effort will be made to keep to this Dancing on Ice programme it may be necessary to make changes with or without notice. 20 Apr Nottingham Classics: Royal Concert Hall The Hallé Nottingham City Council also supports the following venues – 20 - 21 Apr Fine Food Fair Old Market Square visit the websites below for listings: 22 Apr Anecdotes of Wollaton Wollaton Hall Galleries of Justice www.galleriesofjustice.org.uk 22 Apr St George’s Day Celebration Nottingham Castle and Nottingham Arena www.nottingham-arena.com For more information visit Old Market Square www.nottinghamcity.gov.uk/enjoy www.nottinghamplayhouse.co.uk 26 Apr A chance to see…Bags Brewhouse Yard Royal Centre www.royalcentre-nottingham.co.uk 26 Apr Nottingham Classics: Royal Concert Hall OAE & Freiburg Baroque Orchestra 27 Apr - 12 May I Have Been Here Before Nottingham Playhouse illustration: David Blenkey

LeftLion Magazine Issue 16 4. May Contain Notts Hello and welcome to another issue of LeftLion Magazine. April-May 2007 You may notice that this issue is printed in glorious full 5. The Square Root of Nottingham colour. Here at LeftLion HQ we’re partying like Hollywood in the 1920’s to celebrate. Editor 6. The C Word – Why you should vote! Jared Wilson ([email protected]) 7. LeftEyeOn Gallery But it’s a tough market to work in and a couple of other Deputy Editors 8. A Canadian in New Basford local free magazines that started after us have gone Al Needham ([email protected]) to the wall recently. We’re always up for representing Nathan Miller ([email protected]) 9. MyVice underground and independent media (Saggy Pants and 10. As High As Wutan Gets NotInNottingham you both rule), but there is a difference Technical Director between putting out a magazine to represent your scene Alan Gilby ([email protected]) 12. Neon Heights – The Power of Invention and putting one out to clean up on advertising revenue. Marketing and Sales Manager 14. Model Morning and Stiff Kittens Ben Hacking ([email protected]) These are issues that are hard to balance when working 15. Meet The in the free press, issues we know very well as LeftLion Artistic Director 16. You Slut! And the Dead City Presidents is financed entirely by advertising revenue. But hopefully Dave Reason ([email protected]) you agree that we have a good balance between 17. The Magic Numbers commerce and content. Listings Editors Tim Bates ([email protected]) 18. Black Vinyl Heart and Liam Bailey Florence Gohard ([email protected]) In this issue there is coverage of some damn cool stuff. 20. Special Brew - Beer baron Chris Holmes Music-wise we interviewed nu-ravers The Klaxons, who Proofreading 21. Lucy Porter have strong links to the city as one of them studied at Charlotte Kingsbury ([email protected]) Nottingham Trent. Also in are The Magic Numbers, the 23. ’s Meadows chosen ones to officially open the brand new Market Distribution Square. Natasha Chowdhury 24. – and Vicky McClure Sophie Driscoll th 26. LeftLion Friday 13 Extravaganza We’re particularly glad to see the Market Square open Photography Editor 29. Artists profiles again. The development work might have taken ages, but Dom Henry ([email protected]) now it’s done we think it makes the centre of town look 30. Out and About loads better. So we took the opportunity to look at the Photographers history of the well-known space. Al Greer ([email protected]) 34. The Maze Ben Dennis 36. Nottingham Events Listings This issue also gave us a chance to go back to our Bobby G ([email protected]) Bob Meyrick 43. Nottsword / LeftLion Quiz roots. The release of Dead Mans Shoes David Bowen ([email protected]) coincided with our first issue 32 months ago, when Shane Jon Rouston ([email protected]) 44. Tales of a Miserable Hypocrite and Nottingham Zoo became our first ever cover star. Since then he’s been busy Pascale Duval 45. Creative Writing preparing his latest epic This Is England. So we put some Pete Cranston questions to two of the cast and took a look at his legacy. Johnathan Blackmore 46. Rocky Horrorscopes/ The Arthole/ Notts Trumps So much more to mention and not enough space. Also Illustrators Rob White ([email protected]) featuring are the uber-foxy comedian Lucy Porter, king of Rikki Marr ([email protected]) local Chris Holmes, the guys from The Maze, Neon David Blenkey Heights, Old Basford, The Smears, Stiff Kittens, Model Morning and much more. Contributors Alex Kocan LeftLion have been nominated as ‘Ambassadors to Alasdair Catton Nottingham’ for an award being run by BBC Nottingham Amanda Young Jesse Keene and The Evening Post (who recently referred to us as “The Louise Doherty High Priests of Nottingham Culture”). If we’re successful, Ian Kingsbury you can expect a massive lion-style celebration with a Jessica Troughton pyramid of Ferrero Rocher in the corner! Jon McGregor Kate Jolly See you at LeftLion Extravaganza at the Rescue Rooms on Kevin Stanley April 13th… Michael Abbott Michael Simon Rebecca Kielty Rob Cutforth Roger Mean [email protected] Samuel Rogers Shanthi Sekaran Tommy Goodall

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LeftLion magazine has an estimated readership of 40,000 Nominated as Best Free Music Magazine in the city of Nottingham. In February 2006 LeftLion.co.uk received over 500,000 page views. in the UK Record of the Day Awards 2006

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue16 3 Favourite Pubs In Notts

Currently rocking my world: The Ropewalk, Moog and Fade Bar. I’m hoping the newly reopened Loft will be as good as it was when the Neon Heights crew owned it. Daley Thompson with Nottingham’s ‘Mr. Sex’ Al Needham Fade is awesome. Dogma’s always good for a boogie. Orange Tree, Fleece, Saltwater: all good. Muse is nice, especially on the third Wednesday of the month when it plays host to Opus… MrGeesBigCircus

Fade Cafe is great! It’s recently become one of my fave Friday and Saturday night places and one of the barmen often wears a Drop in the Ocean T- Shirt, so they’re cool too. Sofy

The Gladstone for the old man vibes. Hotel Deux for Rob’s knowledge and folk music. The Maze for www.leftlion.co.uk/blog live music. Fade for the Kingstone bottled cider and reading the paper. The Golden Fleece for the quiz. Lincolnshire Poacher for real ale and more old man February 1 March 6 vibes. Muse for Opus. Violent and usually drunk Australian bit of rough Russell Crowe A Broxtowe woman is found guilty of receiving an entire kitchen ash d will play the Sheriff of Nottingham in another film about Robin nicked from the house across the road, whipped by an ex- The Stratford Haven in , The Hood, it is announced. It’s bound to be cack, so we’ll say no more boyfriend with a very large holdall and fitted while she was Newshouse, The Bell Inn... I’m 17 going on 50. about it. – ahem - bathing her kids. It happens to me all the time… I curled cheeky monk one off this morning only to discover an entire marble bathroom February 2 suite that wasn’t there before. Ropewalk, Sir John, Ride, Moog, Malt Cross, Alley Notts Constabulary announce plans to adopt drug addicts and Cafe, Broadway, Bell, Trip, Fleece, Newcastle, Wax, I dunno what to make of it. On one hand, I can’t think of a more March 7 Nada, Old Angel and Fade. I like pubs. heart-warming sight than seeing a copper taking half a dozen The council announces that Princess Anne will open the Market Supine crack addicts from Sneinton to Tales of on a Saturday Square on 3 April, but they don’t actually say what she’ll be afternoon, but I can also see the impracticalities of chasing down doing. Will she have the inaugural slash in the Square? Will she Ropewalk (like, every Friday evening without a shoplifter whilst pushing a smackhead in a buggy. punch the Lord Mayor in the face in the official first fight by the fail), Golden Fleece,Bar Seven (when Fran’s DJing there, anyway), Saltwater, Moog, Fade, Alley Cafe Lions? There’s also going to be loads of concerts by people like (though always full when I go in these days), Frog February 5 The Magic Numbers and Tony Hadley. & Onion (but only after being up for two days). Heroin addicts in Nottingham shit themselves even more than peej usual over the appearance of an extra-strong batch of Zammo- March 8 powder in the city that kills two of them. Newark MP Patrick Mercer is forced to quit his role as Shadow The Orange Tree wins easily for me. They serve the homeland security spokesman (the chocolate teapot of the best Makers Mark and Coke in town, the bar staff February 7 political realm) after stating in an interview that he’d met ‘a lot’ are pretty cool and it’s got a great vibe. Also they According to Home Office figures, violent attacks in Nottingham of ‘idle and useless’ ethnic minority soldiers who used racism as a have some quality nights on. Prison have increased tenfold over the past ten years. They ‘cover’. JohnnyBulldog didn’t say anything about bumming, sorry. March 9 Golden Fleece: always someone in there you know and chances to meet people you don’t. Saltwater: February 8 A 17 year-old lad is stabbed to death in Nottingham, but the whether it’s an afternoon pint, early evening swift- Plans for a 100-metre high tower bestraddling Victoria national media are too busy wringing their hands over the half, peak time short or rockin’ out with my cock Embankment like a environmentally-friendly colossus are stabbings in to notice. out at MHYH all day events, I love the place. Alley announced, featuring wind turbines, an energy learning centre Café: I’m in there at least once a week, often for and a skate park. Hopefully, someone will work out how to harness March 12 lunch. I’m not vegetarian but their food is ace and the power of middle-class kids falling off skateboards and do The big local between Notts County and Mansfield very inexpensive. something useful with it. (imagine Barcelona v Real Madrid but made out of Lego) passes myhouse-yourhouse without incident. Or goals. February 9 In order to save time when writing this, all I have to do is press March 13 Alt-Shift-Ctrl-F2 at the same time and the phrase ‘There’s been a The burglary rate in Nottingham has dropped to its lowest CORRECTIONS AND shooting in St Anns’ pops up. level for seven years. In forty years time, you’ll be telling your CLARIFICATIONS: grandchildren about those golden days in 2007 when you could February 12 leave your fifth door lock on the snick. In the article ‘Toad On Toad Action’ (LeftLion The Police announce that drink-related violent offences have issue 15), we asked actor Ryan Maloney “What do dropped by 20% in the city centre. Latest figures from the Market March 14 you think to Toadie compared to other on-screen Square beat reveal that – hang on a minute…most of that’s been Police step up patrols in a crackdown on Bulwell mouth-breathers lawyers such as Quincy?” We would like to make a bleddy building site for the last two years! In other news, who throw stones at the trams and leave branches on the line, it clear that Dr Quincy ME is a maverick New office stationary theft at the World Trade Centre has dropped off as if it was a big metal snake that was going to decimate their state medical examiner working in the most considerably since 2001. crops of industrial-strength hydroponic skunk and devour the local fascinating sphere of police work (the world of virgin. forensic medicine), doing his best to bring justice to those families that the legal system are failing, February 16 not a lawyer. We apologise for any offence casused. Two scab-bags in Bulwell rob a local shop after threatening March 15 For the record, we were thinking of Ironside. customers and staff with a sword. God knows what’ll happen A divvy local solicitor admits attempting to smuggle weed into there when someone discovers gunpowder. The youths were the local magistrate’s court for a crim on a drugs offence. Thank described as wearing ‘sports clothing’, which narrows it down God she wasn’t defending a TWOCer. to 50,000 or so. The static coming off those Lonsdale tracky tops could electrify a supermarket. March 16 After weeks of voting, it’s announced that the Notts band who February 19 won the chance to play the opening of the Market Square are Teenagers from Notts get sent to Belfast to learn how to resolve Captain Dangerous. violent conflict. So if you start seeing big murals of 50 Cent on the sides of houses in the Meadows and pipe bands up and down March 17 Bestwood, you’ll know why. reeks of Tory, as David Cameron and the other ones no-one can put a name to pretend to be a unified party March 5 on the cusp of power. See you next time there’s a General Election, More mithering over the two new tram lines that should have chaps – oh, hang on, we won’t, because you never win owt round been built ages ago to Clifton, Chilwell and Beeston. Sigh. here unless you’re Kenneth Clarke.

4 www.leftlion.co.uk/issue16 The Square Root

words: Michael Abbott Of Nottingham photo: Dom Henry

When Billy Conqueror of the shot fat southern and Norman communities remained separate and didn’t have ponce King Harold in the eye and became King of All to cross each other’s paths unless they could help it. Over the England, Nottingham was in for some changes. Up until generations, the two settlements grew and joined to form one then, a group of Saxons had been living around what’s large town, and the Square became the centrepiece for the TEN REASONS WHY community, as it still is today. now the for a few centuries, sipping four- SLAB SQUARE IS SKILL groat-a-pint mead, snorting ground dragon’s teeth and In 1926 the now permanent stalls of the meat markets (called building up the fortified borough of Snottengaham The Shambles – deriving from the Normans’ attempts at the (‘Snott’s people by the water’). Saxon word for butcher, Flesh Hewers - from where Fletcher 1. At 5.5 acres, it’s the largest open market space in England. Gate takes its name) were knocked down and construction on In a shrewd example of early diplomacy, William realised he Cecil Howitt’s new Council House began, which was opened by 2. , the big clangy thing in the Council house, is wouldn’t be all that welcome there, so instead of moving in with HRH Edward Windsor in 1929. the Barry White of British belldom, as it has the deepest tone the Saxons, he built a fort around Castle Rock, resulting in two of any bell in the UK. settlements on opposite sides of a valley, with a large chunk Since then, it has been the de facto centre of every major of No Mans Land in between. The Saxons held their markets celebration in Nottingham from VE Day to Forest coming home 3. It was originally cast as a replacement for Big Ben when it around Weekday Cross (near La Tasca and the Pitcher and with the European Cup, a place to gather for every memorial, broke around the turn of the century, but they managed to fix Piano), and the Normans did their thing inside their castle walls, - the spot where you meet that girl at work who you fancy and it, so we nicked it for ourselves. remaining separate from each other for a few years, but by the somewhere to put the Goths on a Saturday afternoon. Although 1070’s regular trading was well underway in the demilitarised the verdict is still out on the new Square even before it’s 4. Oh, and its sound also travels further than any bell in the zone - which became known as the Great Market Place. finished, it’s status as the very centre of Nottingham remains UK – up to seven miles on a clear day. unchallenged - and even if the stone for the new Square might Thus, once a week on a Saturday, the Saxon and Norman come from Portugal, Ireland and China, its roots are solid Notts. 5. The stone used for the Council House was left over from settlements would set up a weekend market that attracted the building work of St Paul’s cathedral in London. folk from surrounding villages like Sneinton, Radford, Lenton, Beeston, Carlton - even Grantham and Ruddington. It became a 6. The four statues on the top of the Council House represent big social event too, with fayres and amusements set up for the Commerce, Civic Law, Prosperity and Knowledge, which are traders and customers. Cattle would be baited by pitbulls before meant to be the hallmarks of the City of Nottingham. Stop being butchered; cockfights and dogfights were commonplace, laughing. with bets flying all over the place. 7. The , designed by Watson Fothergill, th Some commonly-used phrases still around today came directly was considered to be one of the finest examples of late 19 from these medieval market place frivolities; “not enough Century modern gothic revivalist architecture, and was so room to swing a cat” comes from the somewhat distasteful impressive that Queen Victoria and Prince Albert nobbed off marketplace game where someone would put a cat into a bag, the royal chambers in the Council House and dossed there swing it above his head before tossing it in the air for one lucky instead. Then it was pulled down by 1960’s town planners punter to shoot an arrow at it. If he hit it he would win a prize! and is now, erm, Primark. “To let the cat out the bag” comes from a common practice on butchers’ stalls where a customer would select his pig ready for 8. The Lions, named and supposedly his Sunday roast only to get home and find the stallholder had to roar with delight whenever a virgin passes by. Enter swapped it for a cat. punchline of your own devising here.

By 1284 the market had become such an event for the local 9. The favourite opening line by music hall comedians at the districts that an annual fair took hold. This would, over the ages, Theatre Royal? “I went past this enormous building on the become known the world over as Goose Fair, held for the 712th way here tonight, and I asked the cabbie what it was. ‘The time last October (missing only ten years due to the two world Council House’, he said. I said ‘Cor! If that’s what the council wars). This stayed in the Square for six and a half centuries until houses are like in Nottingham, I’m putting me name down for 1928 when it outgrew its surroundings and moved to its current one”. location on The Forest. Not only is it still the largest travelling fair in Europe, but is also the oldest fair of any kind in the world. 10. There’s a tunnel under the Council House that runs up to The Park, built by an extremely arrogant Victorian Lord During the Middle Ages, The Great Market Place had a 20-foot Mayor who wanted to avoid mixing with the plebs on his high wall running through the middle. Some say this was to way home. However, it got clogged up with said peasantry’s keep the meat market separate from the other stalls, but due to faeces and was abandoned a few years later. Haha! the fact this wall was twice the height of any normal building, it was more than likely originally built to make sure the Saxon photo: Johnathan Blackmore

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue16 5 Shanthi Sekaran

David Blenkey

words: image:

A Warning From America about why you should vote... The C Word C The

What do you remember of the 90s? Nick Hornby? Blur v Oasis? always have jobs and houses and food, we’d fallen into a deep, and sent off to be tallied and recorded by elves. The rest is pretty Throwing shapes and black light posters? For me, the 90s seductive sleep of complacency. When the 2000 presidential self-explanatory. Information on this year’s candidates will be were California, the Clintons, and an era that unwittingly bred elections came round, we sauntered to the polls, hit the Al Gore available from 10 April. the most dangerous of national pandemics: complacency (I’m button and hurried off to meet our friends for Thursday brunch. aware that some of you out there were born as late as 1987 So Thursday 3 May is the big day, but the second most and remember the 90s for saliva-soaked digestive biscuits Finally, when the mess of recounts, bipartisan bickering and significant is Wednesday 18 April – the deadline for voter and colourful, obese puppets with televisions lodged in their hanging chads came to a close, we found ourselves saddled registration. This is not automatic, even if you pay your council stomachs. I’m not talking to you). with a president who at best had been just barely elected and tax, but it is easy. If you binned the voter registration form possibly hadn’t even been elected at all. When the case was sent to you by your council in October, just go to aboutmyvote. Us thrown to a state court to decide, we Americans, given the co.uk. Enter your postcode, click on ‘Register to Vote,’ choose California in the 90s: Dot-Com explosions. Everywhere. Social chance to do something about our nation’s future, took a step your residency status and download the voter registration form. failures of the 80s emerged from their parents’ garages to back, shrugged our shoulders and said to ourselves, It’s taken You’ll need to print this, sign it and send it off to the Electoral become internet wonder boys, the playboy princes of Silicon care of now. We’ll see what happens. Little did we know what Registration Office at the Guildhall. It’s an easy to use website, Valley. Money was in the air. Rush hour highways were we’d let ourselves in for. with additional information on proxy and postal votes, voter jammed with new Jaguars and Lexi (singular: Lexus). 24 year- registration and polling stations. old millionaires crowded into San Francisco’s newly opened You champagne bars and slurped bubbly from the navels of their Here’s where you come in. You Brits don’t have it so bad, do you? Grumbling is the great British pastime - beats baseball any day. taut-bellied girlfriends. Secretaries were hitting the jackpot You’re alright if you lose your job, you’re alright if you don’t. You If you could whinge for England, maybe it’s time to turn your with company shares, building rooms to store their gold coins, get low-cost health care and organic veg, and there hasn’t been energy to something more productive. Complaining randomly diving and swimming like Scrooge McDuck through their hordes a race riot for a good year now. It’s easy to pass off national about city centre parking will get you nowhere. Getting off of riches. The rest of the country was downloading internet politics as the domain of white public-school males who have your arse and taking a stand probably will. Last time round in porn, finding estranged classmates and sending mass emails of nothing to do with your daily lives. If you find David Cameron as Nottingham only 29% of those eligible to vote actually bothered kittens constructed entirely from lower-case v’s. It seemed the boring as I do, you can’t be blamed for looking the other way. – which is appalling by anyone’s standards. Now’s your chance only thing the US had to worry about was a stain on the dress of to show you care about the city you live in. a Capitol Hill intern. But May’s local elections are a chance for you to reassess where you stand in your city’s future. How do you feel about recycling? As for America, the 2008 elections are still a long way off. Would What went wrong? How did America fall from its boom era into Is the rubbish on your street out of hand? Do you want to see we be better off if more people had voted in 2000 and 2004? It’s a decade of economic anaemia, wars that put us to shame and something done with your local leisure centre? These are issues hard to say. If nothing else, take this lesson from us: when it a widely detested administration that seems intent on making you could actually do something about, either by choosing a comes to elections, the riskiest thing you can do is to do nothing a mockery of its voting public? Firstly, to be fair, half those dot- candidate or even by running for office yourself. at all. com companies were a load of rubbish. But aside from that, the country took the same wrong turning that many wealthy, Here’s how it works: Nottingham is split into wards, and each socially harmonious societies have taken in the past, from the ward presents candidates for council elections. Candidates’ Get in touch with Nottingham City Council British to the Roman empires (I’m not equating America with the names appear on ballots at your local polling station. Polls are Electoral Services on 9154938 or email at Roman Empire. Settle down.). Cradled by the thought that we’d open from 7am-10pm on 3 May, after which ballots are collected [email protected]

6 www.leftlion.co.uk/issue16 LeftEyeOn Gallery Some choice cuts from our online galleries at www.leftlion.co.uk

A Warning From America about why you should vote...

clockwise from top left: Basil Brush - our favourite fox backstage during Aladdin at the Theatre Royal 23/12/2006 - Dom Henry Spectrum Breakdancers - Freestyle going down upstairs in the Red Room at Spectrum 02/03/07 - Al Greer Nicolas Meier - live at the Bonington Theatre in Arnold 01/03/07 - Bob Meyrick Just Jack - live at the Rescue Rooms 11/02/07 - Jon Rouston Star Screen - Scott Price from Starscreen playing acoustic for LeftLion Unplugged at the Malt Cross 16/01/07 - Dom Henry Sabrina King - live at the Epiphany Fashion & Music Show held at Oceana on 25/10/06 - Al Greer Pink and Lilly - Pink and Lilly collection from the Epiphany Fashion & Music Show held at Oceana on 25/10/06 - Pascale Duval Duke Special - playing a sell out gig at the Social 19/02/07 - Dom Henry

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue16 7 A Canadian in New Basford words: Rob Cutforth illustration: Rob White

I have been living here for a year and a half and I haven’t been shot, beaten up, mugged or even stabbed. If you listen to the media, this is quite an amazing feat, considering I live in Gun City. When I tell other Nottinghamians that I moved from Canada, they assume I’m the craziest man on earth. “You’re from Canada? What the hell are you doing here?!”

So are Canadian cities little slices of utopia and Nottingham the seventh circle of Hell? No, we just have better PR. Not even mad cow disease, SARS and clubbing baby seals to death stop the tourists. I could tell you that I wear baby seal eyes for cufflinks, and you would still say something about our low crime, clean cities and beautiful scenery.

I’ll let you in on a little secret; gun crime in Canada is no lower than it is here. My home city of Calgary, a city of almost a million people (the same number as Notts) had 42 murders in 2006, after the man and host a world event like the World Archery mostly gun-related. If you ask any Canadian what they know metropolitan just like you. We don’t groan about the Stampede Championships. Who would dare go against Nottingham in about Calgary, they’ll tell you about the Stampede, a giant rodeo anymore, now that it makes $90M annually and (even though the applying for it? You’d have Korean kids peeing their pants at the that attracts visitors from all over the world. You never hear a city was smaller than greater Nottingham at the time) brought idea of coming to Nottingham. peep about the crime. us the Olympics in 1988. We could use the press generated by the Archery Crime is a fact of life for any city – it’s the ability to handle it Other cities would kill for Robin Hood. Was I the only one that Championships to turn it into an annual Robin Hood Arts festival that separates a city of culture from a city of depravity. A lot of was pissed off that the newest Robin Hood statue was unveiled celebrating all things Nottingham, making sure it doesn’t turn damage has been done to Notts by the press and when it comes by Sean Bean in ? You know what the first thing into some cheesy medieval fayre full of Goths and Dungeons and to misery, the British memory is long. You’re going to have to do everyone who flies into the Robin Hood airport says? “Why the Dragons geeks. We can shake down any Gandalf wannabes at something outlandish to shake the crime label. You are going to hell isn’t this airport in Nottingham?” I know I am a new resident the gate and invoke an embargo on D20s and pewter figurines. have to make friends with Robin Hood again. of this city, but let me be the first to say Sean Bean can kiss my It’s just crazy enough to work. big, fat, tights-covered, Nottinghamite ass. I hear you groan. I’ve heard it before. It’s the same groan that we Calgarians emitted when other Canadians called us ‘cowboys’ We have to take Robin back immediately. We need to change because of the Stampede, because we wanted to be hip and the city logo to a bow and arrow, name a couple of streets

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8 www.leftlion.co.uk/issue16 MyVicewords: Louise Doherty

images submitted by friends of LeftLion from their own myspace sites.

It seems that these days the only thing you really need But MySpace asks much more than your average deity. Most I’ll start lying about how often I log on (one of the first signs to be famous is an addiction. With Britney checking religious figures only ask that you devote a few minutes a day to of spiralling addictions). I’ll begin to dream about MySpace in and out of rehab virtually every other day, and our them, and perhaps the occasional Sunday morning, but MySpace conversations, waking up in a fevered sweat because I haven’t very own Robbie admitted for ‘addiction to prescription demands that you get up early to worship before breakfast. It replied to a comment. Then I’ll start spending all day at work then eats at you all day, making you feel so guilty you have to trying to determine if I really do know the person who just added drugs’ (recreational varieties are so passé, don’t you check your messages at least 518 times at work. But the sign me as a friend, leaving my boss no choice but to sack me. I’ll know), an addiction is apparently the new must-have of a truly devoted MySpaceee is the way they preach to the start sitting in front of my computer for 19 hours a day, stopping celebrity accessory. So presumably, anyone with a uninitiated: “Have you got a MySpace? Oh you really should! It’s only to sleep and pay the takeaway man. I’ll stop washing and penchant for falling out of clubs in the wee hours amazing, everyone’s on it…” I’ve even said on nights out “I can’t changing my clothes, spending my days mindlessly, deliriously and a weak mental disposition has a shot at the fame wait to check MySpace tomorrow! The pictures are gonna be so browsing people in my area until I get RSI or bedsores or and fortune that comes with celebrity. Which is good, funny.” Whilst it is a good way of catching up on all the goings scabies. Oh my god, I need help! because I have an addiction too. That’s right, my name on you were too pissed to notice at the time, it does worry me is Louise Doherty, and I’m addicted to MySpace. slightly that my private vice is spilling into real life. I’m going to delete my profile right now, start living in the real world and put all this MySpace stuff behind me. Get out whilst I As with any addictive substance, there’s a fine line between use still can. But then again, if I can’t quit smoking where there’s an It might not be as rock and roll as Pete Doherty’s well and abuse. I might be in denial, but a bit of virtual stalking never imminent threat to my life, what chance have I got of beating the documented heroin issues, or as wild-child as Amy Winehouse’s hurt anyone. It’s purely for information purposes, and it helps subversive, evil forces of MySpace? I might as well just resign (alleged) coke habit, but I’ll have you know MySpace is worse when I see people I haven’t seen in a while because I can sound myself to the inevitable downward spiral. On the plus side, than crack. I’m not the only one either - the internet is full of like I remember what they’ve been up to recently. It makes me maybe I could end up in rehab as the first casualty of MySpace, sites warning that MySpace can take over your life and ruin a better person. But the MySpace casualties aren’t hard to find. which would mean I could sell my exclusive story to Heat and friendships, which I already knew, but I don’t think I can give it A friend of mine decided to go cold turkey after receiving two build a tabloid career off the back of it. Every cloud… up. I’m not even sure I want to. See, unfortunately MySpace is far disciplinaries for his MySpace antics during work hours. Before too useful. Everyone knows the rags to riches story of the Arctic that he would choose to sit in front of his computer all night Monkeys, but it’s invaluable for normal people too. Need to know reorganising his ‘top friends’ and changing his profile picture, what your mates got up to that night you had to work? Met a whilst we were at the pub laughing at him. But now alarm hot guy out when drunk and can’t remember what he looks like? bells are going off in my head it’s not quite so funny anymore. Burning desire to see who your ex is dating now? MySpace can Especially since my friend was back online less than a week after Become mates with LeftLion on help you. It’s the all-seeing, all-knowing social oracle, akin to a deleting his profile. I fear that it’s a one way road from here on in. www.myspace.com/leftlion modern day God for today’s atheist masses.

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue16 9 As High as Wutan Gets

Wutan is a martial art which came into being in 1966, when Grand Master Liu Yun Qiao, the former head trainer to the bodyguards of Chinese President Chiang Kai Shek, retired from his post as Chairman of the Civil Defence Force. He chose twelve disciples to pass down his skills and named his school Wutan. It has now spread world wide with a school right here in Notts, so we caught up with instructor Anthony Godfrey for a chat on the finer points of self-discipline. words: Jesse Keene photos: Ben Dennis

How did you first get into Wutan and how good are you at it? How does Wutan differ from other established martial arts? What advice would you give people who are thinking about I first learned about Wutan through my friend Rob Doran, who Wutan prides itself on being able to offer authentic, traditional trying Wutan for themselves? was attending the school’s Kung Fu classes. He asked if I Chinese martial arts. There’s a choice of different styles to suit People should first think about which discipline they would wanted to go to a Tai Chi demonstration that was taking place the individual, no matter the age or ability. The classes are held like to learn, ideally both. Kung Fu’s more suited to younger, at the International Community Centre. I went along and was in a positive and vibrant atmosphere, where there is a strong energetic students, who will enjoy a physical challenge. Tai Chi instantly hooked. It wasn’t long until I was practicing both Tai sense of community and belonging. Wutan’s aim is to benefit as is great for de-stressing, energizing and improving health. The Chi and Kung Fu. Having showed my commitment, effort and many people as possible, promoting a harmonious and peaceful junior classes introduce martial arts at a young age, offering loyalty to the school, Sarah Scotthorne, the founder of the Wutan society through the practice of authentic martial arts. positive goals and achievements. Then talk to us, or come down Nottingham Branch and my old instructor, asked if I would and visit a class. like to assist her in the Kung Fu classes. Now I’m a qualified How intense is the training schedule? Instructor, I’ve found teaching has been a great way of learning: Training schedules vary between students. Like anything in life How many schools are there, and are there many in Notts? it’s benefited my training immensely and given me a deeper the more we put in, the more we get out. Martial arts used to Wutan International has branches all over the world from understanding of the material. In January, Kung Fu students be a way of life, and preserving your life! Practitioners would Taiwan to Norway. In the UK there are schools throughout competed in the National Competition and managed to win both train eight hours a day, seven days a week. Not many people the country, the Headquarters are based in Southampton. In the Team and Individual Gold in the Forms category, and the nowadays can make that kind of commitment, so we have to Nottingham we have classes on a Monday, Tuesday, Thursday Silver (won by my step-son George!) and Bronze in the Sparring make it relative to our own lives. As long as students can feel the and Saturday. These take place at different venues including category. benefits, see progression and are enjoying their training, then the International Community Centre, Portland Leisure Centre job done! and The Sycamore Centre.

10 www.leftlion.co.uk/issue16 For more information check out www.nottinghamwutan.com

At present Beginners Kung Fu and Tai Chi are held at The International Community Centre, 61b Mansfield Road. Junior Kung is held at Portland Leisure Centre, Muskham Street, The Meadows.

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue16 11 The Power Of Invention Al Greer hotos: Amanda Young words: p

Funky music inventors and DJs Neon Heights abide in to get right inside the speakers and hear the volume at its most kids, turn them down or use the mute button. (Pondering the Nottingham, but spread their talent far and wide across the so I climbed into the cones. I learnt that it’s all about volume at question…) Wouldn’t it be great to be an inventor…? international music scene. Highly respected within Dance a young age. Tom: You are an inventor… of music and words! music, their recent remixes include Fatboy Slim’s Champion Sound and Stevie Wonder’s If You Really Love Me. Fresh What software do you use and what is your favourite plug in. Have you ever made any music using something from and smooth in sound these musicians have also recently Tom: We use Logic and have a very fancy bunch of Waves plugs Anchor Supplies? collaborated with soulful singer Carina Andersson and USA’s set up on a Mac. That’ll please the geeks! Tom: Yes when I was at university I got a load of recording J Todd. They are down to earth guys with a strong interest in equipment from there, microphones and things, but nothing music of all kinds, combining both Ying and Yang sensibilities. What are you a collector of? recently. Cal Gibson and Tom Bailey current inventors of Neon Heights, Tom: I’ve got a load of records stacked up at home - and shoes... Cal: What is Anchor Supplies? made their way down to the Malt Cross for a Saturday bevy and Cal: Books and records. I like to occasionally hunt through Oxfam Tom: It’s an Army surplus shop selling loads of weird stuff. It’s chat about the music. Tom wandered in late clutching a crisp, for some really obscure record. just near the Notts County Football Ground and Cattle Market. square black bag with orange type; he just had to check out the latest offerings from Selectadisc on the way. When you play live what is your favourite city and What’s your favourite plant? venue to play? Cal: Trees, not any particular type, just trees in general. Oh… Who plays what in the band? Cal: We’ve got a massive following in Moscow, they are a very and squirrels too. I don’t have any preference over grey or red. Cal: There is Tom Bailey on keyboard, myself Cal Gibson on enthusiastic audience so it has to be Club Kult. Tom: It’ll have to be spinach. The big leafy spinach. Everyone guitar and keys, Emperor Mingus on Bass, Roscoe on Drums and Tom: The Big Chill, which we played in 2005, was fantastic. these days wants baby spinach but I remember me and my Misterlong on Trombone and percussion. We work with a list of mum growing spinach when I was young and having really big singers such as Rachel Harris and J Todd. Basically Tom and I do What makes Neon Heights different to other music nutritious leaves full of iron. all the music in the studio with help from Simon White and then out there? we draft in the others for live performances. Cal: It is an eclectic mix of music pretty indefinable. It used to be Picture this: I’m in a post-modern malaise and cannot think or house and dance music but now has tones of jazz, , soul, pop feel, how are you Neon Heights going to get through to me? If I were to walk into a record shop, in which section would I and chilled beats… it’s evolving music. Cal: Aren’t we all in a post-modern malaise! Well, I would slap find Neon Heights? Tom: We are still free to rewrite ourselves unlike some big bands. you about a bit; you know the domestic violence sort of stuff… or Tom: It would be in the dance section or downtempo. They seem to make their success form repeating themselves, give you a really dark book to read. which is only possible if you are fixed to a type of sound. Tom: That probably isn’t going to help really. I would give some You’ve got a third coming out soon. What can we positive energy. expect from this? What do you measure your success by? Cal: You are so optimistic! I think the idea of us providing a bit of Tom: I’m going to be vague because it’s currently in progress and Tom: Not by money that is for sure! Ying and Yang would probably help her. without a title. We’re still making new tracks, which can really Cal: By someone across the other side of the world sending change the overall feel of the album right at the last minute. Also an email saying that they love the music and it touches them What’s coming up for you in the next few months? we are trying to decide which pieces are finally going on and how deeply. That is what really matters. Cal: Well we’ve got the album coming out, and a remix of Fatboy that will shape the LP. It should be sorted and out in the shops by Slim’s Champion Sound to be released. We are thinking of the summer time. What you can expect though are contributions Have free music downloads had an impact upon you? planning a tour after the album is released to promote that. Then from J.Todd, Carina Andersson and Rachel Harris, a fine mix of Tom: It has meant more people can listen to us online. we have DJ gigs around the country. We aren’t really playing jazz, funk and dance. It’s looking nice. Cal: I think it is the same feeling all round, losing out on money in Nottingham, as there aren’t many venues to play here so we but access to lots of music. I’m sure the big music corporations generally go elsewhere. Tell me about a music epiphany you’ve had… will find a way to get their money back somehow though. Tom: This is true, although for venues there is the Rescue Rooms, Tom: For me it has to be working with big names in the industry. that’s a good one. Oh, and them rating our music. Collaborating with Carina Rober Adler, the US inventor of the remote control died today. Andersson in A Beautiful Thing has been great. What would you remote control? Cal: At the age of four I was at home listening to something my Cal: Probably George bush and Tony Blair, to them off www.neonheights.com parents had put on - you know, parents’ sort of music. I wanted would be great. Tom would probably want to remote control his

12 www.leftlion.co.uk/issue16

Morning Glory words: Glen Parver

Model Morning are a relatively new and we’re playing with them on 7 April at the Nottingham band featuring former Echoboy Rescue Rooms. guitarist Chris Moore, Pete Morley (vocals), Rich Davidson (bass), Ed Keenan (drums) What are your favourite hangouts in Notts? and Rob McCleary (guitars). Their sound has Pete: We like The Maze, The Social, Rescue been likened to shoegazing bands of the Rooms and . I personally like The past such as My Bloody Valentine, but when Golden Fleece on Mansfield Road. It has a really you see them live you notice they’re far too cool open mic night and it’s got a great vibe. busy jumping around to pay much attention Rich: You’ll find us most of the time in The to what’s on their feet. We caught up with Maze. It’s near to our studio, and has the best them before their LeftLion Presents gig at the staff in Notts. Orange Tree in May to ask a few questions… What’s coming up for you over the next year? How did you get together? Rich: More gigs and more songs. Pete: Chris met Rob through work when his Rob: Plenty of gigs. Hopefully we can create previous band Echoboy finished and decided a bit of a buzz in Nottingham and have lots of to put a band together. They asked me to sing, fun. We just want to do what bands do - play to but I was about to go travelling. Chris brought different people, get interviewed in magazines round a CD of some layered guitars, got me and quit the day job. wasted and I wrote a melody over it. We knew we’d got something special so I decided to stay. Anything else you want to say to LeftLion readers? What was the inspiration for your name? Chris: Take the time and check us out. I hope Chris: There’s an Echoboy song with model in you like what you hear and see. the name which I love. Model Morning seems to Pete: If you see us around, do say hello. We work with the music. don’t bite unless you ask us to. Pete: It means something different to all of us. Ed: Support Nottingham music. This is the Chris: The Troubadour in LA. I played there To me it symbolises a new beginning. Who else in Nottingham are you rating at the worst place I’ve ever lived for getting to see live with Echoboy, which was an ambition of mine moment? music (especially on Saturday nights) after reading about my favourite band, Marion, What’s your favourite of your own tracks? Pete: I really like Spotlight Kid, the new Rich: Don’t have nightmares. playing there. Pete: It’s always changing for me. Usually it’s brainchild of Chris Davies from Six by Seven. Pete: I love playing in London. You have to up the latest one. I sat in on drums for them for a couple of gigs your game as the bands there are tight and well Ed: Everybody’s Drunken Friend - it all comes last year which was a ball. rehearsed. together when the bass drops in. Rob: Crimson Roadmap are ace. Onewordpoem Model Morning play LeftLion Presents at Rob: The weirdest one was Notting Hill Arts are unreal - three 17 year-olds from Lincoln who The Orange Tree with Lois on 5 May. Club. I spent the whole gig with my arse in the What are your favourite cities and venues to are too talented for their own good. Amusement faces of these twats at the front eating their play? Parks On Fire are one of my favourite bands www.myspace.com/modelmorning dinner while I was trying to serenade them.

Nice Pussys words: Kevin Stanley

Miss Chief (Sonia) and Kitty Kate (Kate) are LeftLion Presents Kate: I’ve lived in Nottingham most of the time, lived in London resident DJs The Stiff Kittens. After a series of storming gigs for a while with some freaked-out art students, but I don’t for us at The Orange Tree, they are now set to have it massive remember much of it… at this year’s . Their unpredictability, love of soundtracks, old school hiphop, nu- and funky breaks How did you get the Glastonbury gig? coupled with a defiance to “keep it fresh” never fails to get any Sonia: I used to DJ at The Que Club in Birmingham with club bouncing. We caught up with the two felines for a chat… Spacehopper, and freakily enough the geezer who got my CD used to play there too so knew my history. He loved the CD, as How do you feel about being LeftLion’s first resident DJs? did his cat, I have photos to prove it. Kate: Like all our Christmases have been rolled into one delightful ball! You must be excited about it? Sonia: Over the moon mate, like the cow. It’s a total honour. Sonia: Oh yes! Like you wouldn’t believe, been wanting to I’ve always loved what they do, the eclectic style and to play play there for like ages. Can’t wait! The only thing is trying to alongside bands is just proper refreshing you know! stay straight long enough… and I’m not referring to the earlier question! So what’s the story behind the name Stiff Kittens? Kate: It’s gonna be proper good, just can’t wait, and so many Kate: Apart from it sounding purrfect for two female DJs? tunes I want to play! It’s great news. Sonia: It’s out of respect for a band I love, , they were actually called Stiff Kittens first and did a gig in Stockport (where What was the last album that you bought? me and Kate were born) under the name. Sonia: Guillemots Through the Windowpane. Kate: Klaxons Myths Of The Near Future. So two women DJing, working closely together in hot, sweaty clubs… do you ever get any funny looks? So what are your favourite cities and venues to play? Sonia: Yeah! The punters love it…we are close but not quite that Kate: Nottingham is the place to be! We love The Social, The much. Unless I’ve had a little too much JD… Orange Tree, and The Maze. Kate: We just like to have a bit of fun…. Sonia: I think playing with LeftLion at The Orange Tree is actually Sonia: Yeah! You flirt! my favourite as I really love the crowd there and the venue is cracking. Where’s the flying ducks though? We want flying ducks!! So it’s not all work, work, work then? Playing at The Social is cool too as you can play what you like Kate: It’s never work, always a pleasure, but sure, there, I love that. It gets very steamy and messy, great. more drinks please… So what have you got coming up over the next few months? What’s your poison? Kate: Monthly LeftLion gigs, collaborations with Farmyard Sonia: Bullet bourbon and full fat coke. Records and Glastonbury. Then maybe world domination and Kate: Tequila - you can chuck ’em down fast! generally making a nuisance of ourselves! Sonia: Couldn’t have put it better myself lady! You mentioned that you were both born in Stockport, Tell us more… Anythig else you want to say to Leftlion readers? Sonia: Well we were both born in the same hospital actually, Sonia and Kate: Stay Stiff! Stepping Hill, though never met till a few years ago, in Nottingham. I’ve lived everywhere from squats in Hackney, to www.myspace.com/stiffkittens1 flats in Cheltenham.

14 www.leftlion.co.uk/issue16 words and photo: Dom Henry Meet Klaxons, leaders of the ‘’ scene and tipped to be one of the top bands of 2007 in a recent BBC poll. With a large underground following of young glowstick- toting fans, their blend of electronica and has str uck a chord amongst people increasingly pissed off with label manufactured indie schlock. The term ‘new rave’ itself was coined by the band and despite being described by them as ‘a joke which got out of hand’ now describes a recognised youth subculture.

Pounced on by the NME within a year of formation, recent tours have seen them spearheading the paper’s sellout ‘Indie Rave’ tour. By chance we caught them outside Stealth between soundchecks on their previous tour...

You guys look pretty knackered, is the hotel Simon: I’d say is better than Leeds. Simon: Straight to the pub,The Old Blue. Do you like to camp out in the hotel when lifestyle taking its toll? Fucking great when like 40 kids got up on Jamie: (sings) Straight to The Old Blue last… you go places or do you like to get out and James: Yep, don’t have a home. Disgusting. stage. Jamie: Its like Albion! explore? Jamie: I feel like Alan Partridge. Simon: Whaaazit? Jamie: (sings) We love to just see the venue in What was the last book you read? every town we go to. Heavy. Where did you all start out? If you could get any band or artist to play in Jamie: Oooh, not much shit in books! Simon: It’s a little bit like that. James: 2005? November? In Deptford, used to with you, who would you have? Simon: J G Ballard’s Kingdom Come James: I don’t want to see the towns really. be the home nest. James: Shit Disco. Jamie: Izzzzat! Horrible. Every town in the UK. Jamie: The nest! Jamie: Datarock. Simon: Like a blanket of simulation. Laid over. Simon: We miss it dearly. Simon: Nirvana. And the last thing which made you laugh? Middle Earth. James: Biggest mistake ever leaving Deptford... James: Yeah, Nirvana, back from the dead. Jamie: Whhaaazat? (laughter) (murmured agreement) James: Jamie! … Jamie now! Jamie: Aiiiizat! Of all the tunes the fans shake a glowstick to (Jamie gets knowing looks) Simon: Like a rat trap with your Burger Kings what would be your favourite? What can the flourescent clad hordes expect Jamie: Who’s up for leaving their mind back in and your Subways and your shopping centres Jamie: I love Magick. Magick’s massive. It chops from your live show? Stoke? and half price record.. and changes though, depends on the tide. Jamie: Enjoyment! Jamie: (mumbles) Pyjamas! Jamie: Whaaazit? James: 10 songs! Was it a heavy night in Stoke? Simon: 9 songs, cos we’re lazy bastards. James: No.. Do you prefer the foreign tours? What would be your favourite tune full stop? (laughter) Simon: Whaa? When was Stoke? James: I think so. The kind of thing you’d play at your funeral. Jamie: Don’t know, I was just saying that for Jamie: I love my hotels. I love the English James: Don’t Stop Me Now. What are you listening to at the moment? the fun of it.. crowds though. Simon: That’s dark. Fucking listening to Jamie: I miss my home! I miss my stereo.. James: It was a heavy night in... where was it? Simon: I prefer the English crowds. Queen in a pub is bad enough, let alone Simon: A band called WZT Hearts. Crystal Meth Jamie: (sings) Every fucking night for the last Jamie: I love Eng-e-r-laa-nd, who-ose up for the when you’re dead. Noise Music. nine nights! biggest crowds in England?! (laughter) Jamie: The iPod. Izzzat! Simon: Leeds James: It’s good when you go and its starting Jamie: Izzzit? James: All I listen to is Jamie going ‘izzzat, Jamie: Whaaazat? again. I get more excited when I’m going abroad. whaaazit’. James: Leeds Free holiday, different surroundings. Of all the places you’ve been touring and Jamie: Whizzzit! (giggles) Simon: It’s all been pretty.. serious on this tour. Simon: I love it. staying what’s your favourite so far? Jamie: Love the fucking Brits pub! Jamie: That fucking dark place. What’s it Is that what gets you out of bed in the Pretty serious eh? What have you got coming called? In Manchester. mornings? up this year? Anything you’d like to say to Simon: Ah, the Brittania in Manchester. James: Naa, sadly it’s our Tour Manager. Jamie: Who’s up for the tour? LeftLion readers? Jamie: If you’re really up for prostitutes.. Simon: Brian Saunders is our wake up call. James: Big tours. Big plans, big ideas. Jamie: Whaaazat? Simon: Prostitutes in the lobby, it’s a dark Jamie: Whooose up for waking me up in Jamie: No more stopping touring till the end of Simon: (looking wearily at Jamie) Lost his mind. dark place. Sheffield?! the year after next! Izzzat! James: Is he? (turns to Jamie) Did you enjoy Jamie: A massive hotel, with chandeliers. (weary laughter) James: We’re touring up till Christmas 2007. your soup? James: They have rooms above a club which At least. Jamie: Fucking tasty. plays until 2am. Sounds like you miss the normal life. Where Simon: All round Europe, America do you like to hang out when you’re not on Jamie: Japan and Australia. Why have you lost your mind? So that’s your least favourite hotel. the road? James: Everywhere. Jamie: I’ve just decided.. just to enjoy myself for What’s your favourite venue? Jamie: Izzzat? Simon: Can’t complain man. the next couple of days. All: The Brittania! Simon: I miss hanging out. We don’t have time (laughter) to hang out Having a few day sessions? James: Sheffield, the lovely Novotel and the James: Ahhh man, we used to hang out in this Do you enjoy the road? Jamie: Yaahp. Leadmill. bar in London called the Old Blue Last. James: Love the road Simon: I’d say that venue in Leeds as there is So if you could have a week off? Jamie: Love the road! Klaxons play at Rock City on Tuesday 8 May. no barrier between us and the crowd. James: Straight to the Old Blue Last! Jamie: Ah-ah-aaaah! (laughter) www.klaxons.net

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue16 15 Mac, Rich may pluck for Whatever and Ever by Ben Folds Five, I’d go for by At the Drive-In.

Favourite Nottingham hangouts? Sam: The Social, Lee Rosy’s Tea Room, Alley Cafe and Gav’s house.

Favourite Nottingham bands? Sam: All of my favourite Nottingham bands are splitting up. First it was Punish the Atom and then Legion of Doom went down. I’d get a kicking if I didn’t mention Amusement Parks on Fire. are probably my favourite Nottingham band, they’ve improved shed loads over the last year. Refreshingly, You Slut! What do you think to the Nottingham music describe themselves as scene at the moment? Sam: You kind of take the Daybrook House math rock and don’t have empire (Rock City, Rescue Rooms, the Social) for granted. These are the people who are putting any vocals in their songs Where’s the name You Slut! from? through the mini album? What is your on the bands that aren’t going to get in the whatsoever. The members Sam: We used to be called You Slut favourite song from it, collectively or NME or Kerrang and giving them a chance to Motherfucker! but a couple of motherfuckers separately? play when they’d otherwise never get a gig. are Sam Lloyd, (bass), complained and we bowed to the pressure and Sam: Maths is the only theme really. I’m pretty shortened it. sure we’re unanimous in thinking our favourite Finally, what does the future hold for You Darren Cook (drums), song is On the spot Tina Turner fine. It chops Slut? What’s your sound? and changes more than some of the others and Sam: To play a free-entry LeftLion gig at the Richard Collins (Guitar) Sam: Well... there’s no singing. The drums are is a bastard to play, it always feels like we’ve Orange Tree on 7 April of course! Maybe get and Gavin Poole (guitar). kind of the lead singer in that they change achieved something when we get to the end! Critical Meat released here before we finish the time signatures quite a lot and the guitars play follow up. If you’re dead eager to get it, it was We talked to Sam and rock around them. It’s poppy, melodic rock. Best gig you’ve performed so far? released in Japan in February; you can order it It’s music to stroke your beard to while you’re Sam: The best gig was at Rotown in Rotterdam on import from Amazon. Darren (but mostly Sam) jumping up and down. in September 2006. It was the last day of the German/Dutch tour we’d done with Amusement As an afterthought, if you were stranded on a about their new EP Critical Musical influences? Parks on Fire (APOF). We were all pretty chuffed desert island and you could take only things Meat, influences and the Sam: Fleetwood Mac, At the Drive-In and because the tour had gone well and we topped with you, what would it be and why? Abba. We get compared a lot to bands like Don it off by being tighter than we’d ever managed Sam: That Leanne off Shipwrecked, and Nottingham music scene. Caballero and Oxes, but we’d never heard of before. We joined in with APOF’s encore as probably something trite like Shakespeare or them until people started writing about us in well, two drummers, two basses, four guitars. summat. They are beard-strokingly the same articles. We were raised as nice indie Everything was turned up to eleven. boys. good. Observe! Best album ever? www.myspace.com/youslut1 Tell me about your eight-track mini-album Sam: Just one? Gav might say Lexicon of words: Alex Kocan Critical Meat. Is there a theme that runs Love by ABC. Darren could say Rumours by

words: Alex Kocan

The Dead City Presidents formed in 2005 out names flying around before we came up with My favourite track is The Great British Do you have a claim to fame? of the ashes of former band Mia, taking on the something half decent. Suburbia, because it’s my favourite to play live. Mark: I once appeared on BBC 1 for The Clothes bass player from The Hellset Orchestra. Since Tom: Inspired By A Killer is the one I’m most Show in 1985 as a child model. that time they have played live regularly, built Describe your sound? proud of. It has soprano vocalist Justine Atkins Tom: One of my mum’s cousins used to be up a following and released their EP, Have Gun Tom: It sounds like a commercial version of on it. She did an amazing job bringing the track married to Lars Ulrich’s brother, true story. Will Travel last year to good reviews. post-rock crossed with film soundtracks. to life. We tried to use as many real instruments The band members are Tom Walsh (guitar/ Mark: Someone once categorised us as post- as possible. Amy Nicholson (Hellset Orchestra) Favourite hangouts? vocals), Mark Bagguley (drums), Jamie vox. You can hear traces of grunge in there, but played cello and bass recorder for us too so it Mark: The Orange Tree and The Moot. Floodgate (guitars) and Dan Frazer (bass also I think we genuinely bring something new has a very organic sound. Tom: The Thurland Hall and Oceana. guitar). I spoke to Mark and Tom from the band to the table. about their recent EP, musical influences and What are the best and worst gigs you’ve Who are your favourite Nottingham bands? their claims to fame. Read on! Who are your musical influences? played? Mark: Lo-Ego, Love Ends Disaster, Her Name Is Mark: Nirvana, , Minus The Bear, Mark: I really enjoyed Rock City, it’s always a Calla, O Lovely Lie. How did The Dead City Presidents Bjork. good sound on stage. I didn’t enjoy The Shed in Tom: There are lots of really good bands in come about? Tom: Faith No More, film soundtracks and Leicester, but then no one was there! Nottingham actually but no one seems to really Mark: Jamie, Tom and I used to be in band classical stuff. The Ninth Gate soundtrack is get anywhere, except perhaps Amusement called Mia. It was, creatively, an amazing time amazing! Sigur Ros, Tom Waits and especially Do you have any pre-gig rituals before you go Parks on Fire. for us. But eventually we kind of went a bit The Rocky Horror Picture Show! on stage? stale and wanted to start afresh; new name, Tom: Getting a little bit too drunk for my own What annoys you about the local scene? new sound, new hair. So we got together with Tell us about your EP Have Gun Will Travel. good. Mark: That local band mentality, with some Dan from The Hellset Orchestra to write some What’s your favourite track? Mark: A pre-gig shit! bands thinking the be all and end all is to get new material. Mark: When me and Tom were fifteen or sixteen signed! I lent him my Murder In Mind subscription Best album ever? Tom: Anyone who thinks that having lots of Where did the name come from? magazines. That whole era of Middle American Mark: OK Computer Radiohead. friends on myspace means anything! Mark: It’s an amalgamation of words we Serial Killers has been something that has Tom: Angel Dust Faith No More. liked. It’s the hardest thing in the world to inspired us in some of our songs. We’re not find a good name. It took many hours of joke mental, but there is that kind of theme going on. www.thedeadcitypresidents.com

16 www.leftlion.co.uk/issue16

words: Jared Wilson

The Magic Numbers are a four piece from Ealing with whole thing with us, but when anyone asks her about it she Do you feel honoured to be opening Nottingham’s lovely new two studio under their belts - their critically always plays the whole thing down. Market Square? acclaimed eponymous debut and last year’s follow-up Oh yeah, definitely. Every gig we’ve ever played in Nottingham Those the Brokes. Interestingly the group consists of So have you guys ever thought of getting her in for a track? has been great, so we’re really honoured to be offered this I dunno. I guess that’s down to Romeo and Michelle if they want chance. It’s a real pleasure to be asked back to open it up and two sets of brothers and sisters - Romeo (guitar and to. It could be a fun idea… it’s all outside and free isn’t it? We always love playing free vocals) and Michele Stodart (bass and vocals) and Sean gigs… it means everyone can get to come along and have a (drums) and Angela Gannon (melodica, percussion, You got a lot of press by walking out of a Top of the Pops gig listen. glockenspiel and vocals). They’ve been booked as one just before you were due to go on after host Richard Bacon of the main acts to open the brand new Market Square said insulting things about you (he introduced the band as “a So what message would you send out to people coming to the at the end of March. We caught up with Angela for a fat melting pot of talent”)… gig? chat on the phone as they toured in Europe… It was a decision that we made at the time. He said what he Well, we want everyone to join in. They must sing along and said, so we decided that we couldn’t be bothered to do it and clap when we clap. We just want people to go mad when we’re How was your day today..? wanted to have a day off instead. The whole thing did get blown playing a loud one and to go with it when we’re playing a quiet It’s been good. We’ve been walking around Munich, which has out of proportion. There was nothing going on in the news that one. Just let your hair down and go with it. been cool. You might be able to hear Damien Rice soundchecking week – all the politicians must have been on holiday – and it his distortion vocal mic in the background. We’re playing with seemed like that was the only thing that happened at all. If you could get anyone in to play on the day with you who him tonight at a venue called Herkulessaal, it’s a really nice old would you choose? building that often hosts classical concerts. So what’s your personal favourite of your own tracks? I’m a big Janis Joplin fan, so I’d try and get her and From the first album it was This Love, I’m just really proud to be Johnny Cash in. So what’s it like being in a band of two brothers and sisters? part of that song. On this album it’s between Goodnight and All I Anything like Abba..? See. When I first heard Goodnight I told Romeo it’s the best song What was the last album that you bought? I dunno. Obviously I’ve never been in Abba so I can’t really he’d ever written. I bought the new Shins album Wincing the Night Away. I haven’t compare. But it’s quite easy for us in a way because when you listened to it yet, but I need to. know someone so well that you can automatically be yourself all You’ve played across the whole world. What are your favourite the time, which is pretty cool. cities and venues to play..? What was the last book you read? The Barrowlands in is definitely one we love. As soon I’m currently reading Cash, Johnny Cash’s biography. So do you ever have Noel and Liam Gallagher style fall-outs as you walk into that building it has the most amazing feeling with your brother? about it. Every gig we have done there has been amazing and What was the last thing that made you laugh? Oh yeah, totally. Sean and I have huge fights day in day out. the crowd always go mental. Usually one of the crew members acting silly. It’s a regular It’s pretty funny most of the time and when we become friends occurrence... again we can always laugh about it. Along the way you’ve supported quite a few big names like U2, The Flaming Lips, and Brian What was the last thing that made you cry? I hear that the band got together at a Catholic high school? Wilson. Any tales of rock and roll excess to share with us? I can’t actually remember. Sorry… Well… Romeo went to school with mine and Sean’s older brother Not really. We’re usually quite well behaved I guess. The one and he went to see Sean’s band play and thought he was a good thing about U2 was that we didn’t get to see or meet them much. Anything else you want to say to LeftLion readers? drummer. They started a band and worked at it together for The whole scale of the production was huge - I couldn’t quite Get yourself prepared for a right good night in Nottingham. Get about ten years. Then they decided to get me and Michele in the believe how big the stage was. The Flaming Lips are possibly drunk, let your hair down and enjoy yourself… band and since then it’s been the four of us. It’s pretty cool. the nicest bunch of people you’ll ever meet and totally amazing to see live. We did that song (Close Your Eyes) with the Chemical I read on the internet that Romeo and Michelle’s mother is an Brothers and I remember walking up to the studio to record it. The Magic Numbers play a free gig in the opera singer with her own TV show in Trinidad? Michele and I were quite relaxed, but Romeo was getting really Market Square on Saturday 31 March 2007. I think that whole thing has got a bit out of scale. She was an freaked out and couldn’t believe he was about to sing on one of opera singer who appeared on a TV talent show and was asked their tracks. www.themagicnumbers.net back three weeks in a row. She’s never fully delved into the

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue16 17 words: Tommy Goodall

Black Vinyl Heart describe their songs as music for ‘hearts What are your favourite hangouts in Nottingham? and souls that harbour fragile hope’. Classically trained singer The Malt Cross, The Orange Tree and The Rescue Rooms because Lisa de’Ville fronts the band alongside Johnny Coolin (bass), of the twirly fries. Yum! Tommy Guns (guitar), Melanie Lawrence (viola) and Andy McAlister (drums). When performing an all out set they sound Who are the best upcoming musical talents in Nottingham? like a rich man’s Evanescence. However, we’ve asked them I like what Felix are doing… it’s very beautiful and different. to strip it down for their LeftLion Unplugged gig at The Malt There’s some fantastic stuff going on in Notts right now, like First Cross on Tuesday 7 April. We put some questions to Lisa… Blood and The Kull.

What have you been up to recently? What’s going to be big in music-wise in 2007? The past couple of months have seen us working on our songs Hopefully 2007 will see the emergence of more female musicians and overall sound to achieve a lean mean fighting Black Vinyl and more music with something exciting and passionate Heart machine! going on. I am utterly sick to death of this bland NME watered down middle class white boy crap like Arctic Monkeys, Franz How are you planning to take your music and career Ferdinand, The Kooks etc. There’s some incredible, creative music forward in 2007? being made out there and I think we all have to look a bit harder We’ve been offered two management deals, so we plan on to find it, otherwise it may be lost forever and we will be stuck discussing that further. I’ve been writing a lot recently and we with this James Blunt shit. plan on spending the next few months working on new songs and ideas before playing live again. What was the last thing that made you laugh? I went to see Nine Inch Nails in March and their guitarist threw Any tricks up your sleeve to get signed? his mike stand in the air. It flew about six foot high and then Mel our Viola player is going to strip naked at our gigs. landed on one of the roadies. I burst out laughing.

What are the best and worst things about stripping down your What was the last thing that made you cry? sound for this gig? I had my car broke into a couple of weeks ago and had a There’s always been something quite beautiful about the generally bad week. I got home and heard Samson by Regina simplicity of a voice and an acoustic guitar, with nothing else to Spektor and just started bawling. hide behind. I love the intimacy of acoustic gigs. I get to sing my little heart out and try out new ideas. If there is to be a minus Anything else you want to say to LeftLion readers? it would be that I can’t jump around and be as physical as I can Go with your heart. The heart is always right, the mind is just with a full band. It also means I can’t blame the drummer if I a creation of society. The heart is unpolluted. On a lighter note. make a mistake… Keep supporting local musicians, try and get out to as many gigs a week as you can afford and of course keep reading LeftLion What’s your favourite song? because its ace! I’ve got so many. The Aeroplane Flies High by the Smashing Pumpkins. Perfect Day Elise by PJ Harvey. Lucky One by Gemma www.myspace.com/blackvinylheartmusic Hayes, Samson by Regina Spektor and Only Shallow by My Bloody Valentine would all rank pretty high.

Soul Man words: Tommy Goodall

Liam Bailey has been on the Notts scene for a while now, so that inspires you to live the dream. To be who you are and live you may have seen him live singing with 1st Blood, Bosco, The and pursue your true purpose in life… it gives me these things Soul Parade or acoustically by himself. He recently moved down anyway. to London to further his career and life experience, but we’re dragging him back up this way for LeftLion Unplugged at the You’ll be playing with Tim McDonald in May. How is he Malt Cross on Tuesday 20 May. We caught up with him to see getting on down there? what he’s learned in his time in the smoke… Alcohol, fags and women. He’s settling in well.

How is life down in London treating you? Any noticeable How have you changed as a musician since you were in Bosco? differences to Notts? I am no longer on the indie band thing really its all a bit boring London differs in the amount of people from all over the world now and I think I’ve grown out of it. I’ve matured… now I like that live here. It’s a very live-hard party-hard type of place. listening to bells and things.

What venues have you been playing down there? Any interest If you could get anyone in to play with you, who would you from labels etc? choose? Its just loads of scenes really. The Indie scene in London is shit Wyclef from The Fugees. as it is in all areas of the country. Very dry and uninspiring. The folk scene is very laid back and quite interesting… a very What do you listen to on the stereo at home? reflective kind of vibe and quite thoughtful I reckon. I’ve been Concrete Jungle by The Wailers playing a few good venues with great reputations, and getting positive receptions and applause. Describe your average day... Playing music, serving pints and trying be positive. Is London the best place to get signed? Would you recommend it to other Nottingham bands? What are your favourite hangouts in Notts? London is a great place to meet new people and it has a wealth It’s getting too trendy in Notts for me but I do like going to The of musicians from all corners of everything that exists. However Old Moot in Sneinton. you don’t need to move to London to get a record deal. You need talent and a vision. Anything else you want to say to LeftLion readers? Please let’s try to open our eyes more and more to the future Are you still involved with First Blood? of this world we live in. Am I alone in thinking we are creating Yep. The Blood drop agenda is being prepared and finalised generations of junkies and robots? Am I alone when I witness with a chilled and easy vibe. I want the youth of Nottingham to our quality of life rotting. Are we being lied to? listen to 1st blood and embrace it for its positive vibe and charm. It’s melodies and lyrics are pure and true. Pete makes music www.myspace.com/bahinyon

18 www.leftlion.co.uk/issue16

Considering I only turned eighteen in January this year it’s probably quite worrying how well I know my real ales. Chris Holmes, former chairman of CAMRA () began his Tynemill adventure in 1977 and has since seen his creation become something of an empire in the Midlands boasting twenty pubs and also the award-winning Castle Rock Brewery. Having whiled away many an hour in these fine establishments it was with great pleasure that I met the man behind the beers, Chris Holmes… words: Samuel Rogers photo: Dom Henry

When you first opened the Old Kings Arms in Newark I’ve got a lot of respect for what Wetherspoons did in the are the only UK ones, but some of our places will have thirty years ago did you ever imagine you’d achieve early days when they started and I will never publicly Staropramen on or Nastro Azzuro or Bitburger. I think Grolsch success on the scale you have? criticise anyone else in industry. But I do think the local pub is a good, well made beer that to me tastes very similar to No, because it was never the intention. The intention then industry becoming corporate is not in the public interest. if you buy it in Holland. I think Carling is the best of the UK was to prove a point and to break monopolies in Newark One of the problems has been that city centres have become mainstream lagers. There’s a big market for that and it would as there was no real ale available. I had the opportunity to no go areas for people over 35… it’s either too noisy or they be very arrogant of us not to sell that sort of product. But open a pub and having a simple free-house in the middle of just feel a bit out of place. what we do find is that a lot of our customers drink lager a town with a row of hand pumps serving real ales was a in their early twenties and then move onto drinking ales revolutionary concept then. What do you think it is that stops Tynemill becoming because palates do mature. Drinking real beer is a bit more more commercial or corporate? demanding than drinking relatively flavourless lager. Well, we’re sat in the Canalhouse which is Tynemill’s Well I suppose our own approach because… I don’t want latest acquisition. Another nice building and location but it to be seen as popular. As someone once said, “not many What would you say to anyone having a go at brewing what can we expect from it as a venue? people want to drink in a brand.” That’s why I like going to their own? As a venue? I don’t think it’s ever really been exploited places like Amsterdam, Brussels or Prague where if you go I think it’s great because if people start to get an interest properly to be honest. The room upstairs is perfect for small out for a drink virtually all the bars and restaurants are all in making beer than it makes them more interested and gigs really with a capacity of 120. It was only in July last individually operated and owned. they’re more likely to go out and try different drinks when year that we got control of it - we’d always had a minority (A barmaid drops a glass in the background)… That’s they go to the pub. The essence of professional brewing is share before then. I’d like to see some music here, it’s another 50 pence down the drain. (laughs) consistency. definitely big enough to put live music on. We’ll wait ‘til Easter but that’s the plan. If you could pick one beer to represent Nottingham and Alright, some final few questions; what is your favourite the taste of it’s ale drinkers what would it be? beer of all time? Tynemill pubs tend to be quite different to each other Well, what do you think I’m going to say? Harvest Pale. It’s My favourite beer of all time is Boddingtons circa 1965. I’m inside. What makes them all individually so successful? our most successful beer by a long way now. from Manchester and that was when Boddingtons was an Well…some of this stuff sounds pretentious, but the core independent brewer. The old bitter that was produced in the philosophy was always about providing choice. There’s More so than the Gold? 60’s and 70’s was fantastic. Unfortunately, the beer that is now a big choice of genuine continental beers, a good wine Oh yes. Harvest Pale is hugely successful and not just in now branded as Boddingtons bears no resemblance. list and our own chefs make all the food from fresh. We also Nottingham. It gets all round the country. If you say ‘beers of let the managers have a lot of say in what goes on, so their Nottingham’ though, I think it’s a bit of a joke. Since Hardy Is there anything else you’d like to say to LeftLion personality, taste and preferences are reflected in what we and Hanson’s closed we’re now the largest brewery in readers? do. In our pubs we don’t have any toys or machines and Nottingham... which seems just daft really. Only to keep doing what you are doing. Go out and we’re very strict on bad behaviour. I don’t care how much experience live entertainment in Nottingham and go to money someone has to spend, if they are going to upset Do you swap beers with other local breweries like watch movies at the Broadway as opposed to the big other customers we don’t want them. Magpie? chains. It’s essential for us that people go out. We’re not We’re using Magpie and we use Mallards. We’re very happy really competing with the pub and bar down the road, we’re Nottingham isn’t exactly always renowned for its to support all the microbreweries in our area and we make a competing for the disposable income people have and if sophistication but real pubs and real ale attract point of selling micro beers. We don’t feature any of them as they’re spending it all on DVD’s and takeaway food and large numbers… permanent installations but they’re regularly coming round sitting at home then that’s not good for any of us. What we Well they do but we’re almost a niche market now. When on the guests. Our customers expect there to be a variety of need is a vibrant industry where people go out to eat and I started it was just about running pubs but now pubs are different beers on. drink and be entertained… almost unusual as a lot of places in town now are more trendy bars or theme bars particularly aimed at the young. What’s your opinion of lager? Seems a bit weird to me when someone comes into the Stratford and goes for the What’s your opinion of more corporate and soulless places Carling Extra Cold. like Wetherspoons? We now sell lots of lager in our pubs. Carling and Grolsch www.tynemill.co.uk

20 www.leftlion.co.uk/issue16 Lucy Porter doesn’t so much do stand up as have a nice chat using a microphone, and with sell out tours and glowing reviews from the fringe, she doesn’t do it half badly. She’s even made it to the West End, performing alongside Christian Slater in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. We spoke to her about heckling, cock-crazed audiences and whether to perform in front of your mum. words: Michael Simon

How do you sum up your act? Were those some of your most hostile crowds? Comedians seem to polarise themselves by class, so which side Fluffy nonsense! Fluffy nonsense, but fun. When I first started doing comedy in Manchester I did some of of the fence do you think you sit on? the working men’s clubs, which when you’re a twenty two year It’s fascinating what’s happened to class in this country in the People say you have a conversational tone, is there a big old girl and you’re not a stripper is no place to be. They couldn’t last ten years or so, and comics are now in the minority who still difference between your routine and having a chat with work out at all what I was doing, and it was totally the wrong identify themselves as working class. It’s hilarious when you get someone? kind of comedy for the audience. They just hated me so much it posh comics who affect a working class accent. I’m lower middle No, it’s pretty much ‘what you see is what you get’. I wish I was was unbelievable. I would say. I went to a nice girl’s convent school, not paid for, brainy enough to have come up with a stage persona which is but nice. Though for a time we did get free school dinners, which different to my real life ways. I talk a bit faster. Have you ever heckled? was the sign that you were a bit poor. So make it up for yourself. I did once at a gig. I was a bit drunk, to be honest and I was Do you change your routine for different audiences? talking very loudly. It was this American act who hadn’t been How did you choose to do One Flew Over the Yeah, it’s different every night, it’s so affected by what the audience over long, and he was talking about air plane food and I ended Cuckoo’s Nest? is like. That’s what makes live stand-up such a beautiful thing. The up correcting him, loudly, when he got a few things wrong. That That wasn’t really much of a choice; someone said ‘do you want people in the room really dictate what the show’s going to be like, was quite embarrassing, and I realized how scary it is being on to do it?’ and I tend to say yes to everything. I just don’t see and I just like having a bit of variety. It keeps it interesting for me as the other side. I try not to be intimidating because I’ve had it the point in saying no, really. You should take everything that’s much as for anybody else. happen to me, and I didn’t like it. offered to you and see if you like it. I only had three lines, and it was fab. It was the most glamorous thing I’ve ever done in my How was supporting Puppetry of the Penis? I read that you have an audience member be your bitch as entire life, it was everything that you imagine being a West End Fun, but very peculiar. The audiences were ninety nine percent part of your act... luvvie is like, out every night drinking champagne cocktails with female and initially they weren’t happy about seeing another I only pick on people who seem willing to join in. I did once ride Burt Reynolds. Things you think are going to be amazing are woman on stage. What they were really after, if I can say, was someone around the stage like a pony, but he quite enjoyed it I normally quite underwhelming but that absolutely lived up to it. cock. They’d boo me on stage; every night I’d walk out to this think. chorus of ‘Get off!’ That toughened me up, every night I had to Could you tell us a joke? turn that around from hatred to love. It was very handy to do Would you change your material if you knew your mum was A woman’s looking in the mirror and she says to her husband, that. in the audience? ‘I’m looking old, fat and ugly, give me a compliment,’ and he says Well yes, to be honest, which is a terrible admission. My mum’s to her ‘Well, your eyesight is spot on.’ You can’t get better than Do you think people still have stereotypical attitudes to female never seen me do stand-up and she was going to come to my show that, can you? comedians? in Edinburgh, but at the last minute we both decided it might be a It’s getting better all the time. I think it’s not a natural job for a bit embarrassing, because there are some things you don’t want to woman, but it’s not a natural job for anyone really. I think women say in front of your own mother. don’t like to be laughed at as much as men do, and I think people are a bit nervous laughing at a woman, because we can be a Do you get recognised from having been on the telly? bit psycho. I think blokes are a bit scared to laugh at women in No, I always think I’m getting recognised but it turns out that case they turn around and say ‘Are you laughing at my arse? I look like a lot of Irish girls. People always say ‘I think I know Lucy Porter’s show The Good Life Are you saying I’m fat or something?’ I’ve been doing the circuit you,’ and I think, ‘finally, recognition off the telly’, and they go is at the Lakeside on Thursday 12 April. for eleven years, and in that time so many brilliant women have ‘are you Bernadette Devlin, did you go to school with my sister?’ come through. When I first started I got the idea that sometimes But I wouldn’t really want to be recognised so it’s quite good. I www.lakesidearts.org.uk audiences would sigh in disappointment if a woman walked don’t do that much telly, so it would be a very nerdy comedy fan www.lucyporter.info onto the stage, whereas now I don’t think they do. who recognised me.

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Safety in numbers

Community Protection Interested? Officer Contact us on 0115 915 6509 or email [email protected] £16,137-£20,235 Part time/weekend work available We encourage applicants from Black Nottingham is a great city and it needs great and Minority Ethnic Communities, people like you to make it an even safer place in particular we are currently under to live. represented by female members of the Asian community. Have you got what it takes to tackle crime and anti-social behaviour in Nottingham to reassure local people and to help make our streets and communities safer? Community Protection Officers work for Nottingham City Council, in partnership with the police and other agencies. Every day will be different. It’s a life of variety and challenge - and your professionalism is essential. It is a high profile career and is one of the most exciting jobs in the city. We need people who can make a real difference. We need unique people for a unique role. England’s Meadows words: Nathan Miller

Shane Meadows’ This Is England is riding towards a screen near you on a tide of festival success and critical buzz. We look at the Uttoxeter-born guerrilla’s back catalogue and find out what makes the Midlands’ greatest living auteur (and LeftLion’s first ever cover star) tick.

For over forty years, Shane Meadows was pretty much the only drawn out of whatever imperfect domestic state he starts the approach, starting each film with forty pages of plot details, the film industry Nottingham had. Before he fulfilled the promise of film in, tensions build toward a distressing, innocence-rupturing story is then fleshed out and developed by the actors through his hour-long calling card Smalltime with Twenty Four Seven in moment of violence, perpetrated by the mentor and observed by improvisation. 1997, no-one had made a proper film which was set and filmed the boy. in Notts since Saturday Night and Sunday Morning gave Albert Creating a strong communal gang spirit amongst the cast is Finney his big break in 1960. Indeed, until Chris Cooke’s One for What makes these stories more than moralistic TV specials an important part of making this approach work; Meadows’ the Road in 2003, Meadows was the only person to make any is partly the ambiguity of the mentors’ natures. At first sight, best results have usually come when the cast have been more. During this time he completed his ‘Nottingham Trilogy’ some appear good (Bob Hoskins’s Darcy), some appear bad living with each other during filming. It’s not surprising that a with TwentyFourSeven, (regarded (’s Combo) and some seem just weird (Paddy repertory company of sorts has formed around his productions. as one of the best British films of the 90s by the tiny handful Considine’s Morrell), but whilst Meadows never totally absolves This Is England marks the third appearance in a Meadows of people who actually saw it) and Once Upon a Time in the them, they’re all presented in a spirit of understanding, with film by both Frank Harper and Andrew Shim (interviewed Midlands (certainly has its highlights but generally regarded as recognition of the weakness and loneliness that these men carry overleaf) and a second for and Vicky McClure (also a bit of a dog’s dinner). with them. But not all the lessons being given are negative interviewed overleaf). , an old college friend ones; by the time of the violent catharsis each child has learned of Meadows, has given two of the best performances of his Since then, Meadows’ locations have moved out of the suburbs enough to reject his teacher and become his own man. career in Dead Man’s Shoes and Romeo Brass. That sort of and estates of Hood Town, but only as far as Matlock, for the supportive, creative atmosphere is also the perfect environment back-to-form revenge drama Dead Man’s Shoes and Grimsby, the The one film in Meadows’ catalogue which does not seem to get great performances out of kids. To make a coming of backdrop for parts of the small coastal town in This Is England. influenced by that formative moment is Once Upon a Time in the age story work, you need to be able to build your films around There’s a particularly suburban sensibility in all Midlands. But even here the story (a mother and daughter having actors still in their teens and Meadows’ has had a particularly these films, rooted by more than just accent. Although they look to choose between a loyal-but-foolish stepfather and a roguish- successful collaboration with Ian Smith’s Carlton Television amazing, being shot with real care and vision – Danny Cohen’s but-unpleasant ‘real’ dad) is still concerned with the nature and Junior Workshop, graduates of which include Shim, McClure, excellent photography on This Is England is no exception – all failure of masculinity, an over-arching theme in all of Meadows’ former LeftLion interviewee and pretty much Meadows’ films are grounded by the lack of glamour in their work. In Shane’s world, men are proud but pathetic; too happy- everybody in TwentyFourSeven who wasn’t called Hoskins. surroundings and shot through with the essential crapness of go-lucky, busy settling scores or just too damaged to take any Smith himself has a cameo in This Is England as one of Shaun growing up in an unimportant area with nothing much to do, meaningful responsibility for their lives. Women, on the other Fields’ teachers, whereas , who plays Shaun livened only by the silly jokes you have with your mates and the hand, are usually sensible, protective and able to see past any himself, was found in an arcade in Grimsby rather than an occasional flash of ridiculous colour that passes through. bullshit and cut right to the heart of a situation. It’s clear that the improvisation class in Nottingham and had never acted before. boys in Meadows’ films don’t have to grow up to be bad men, But his brilliant performance fills nearly every frame of the One of the first fundamentals of scriptwriting is ‘write what but it’s less certain that any of them ever grow up at all. film - a testament to the close relationship developed on set. you know,’ advice Meadows has been keen to take and This “I could see myself in him,” Meadows has said of Turgoose. Is England has been described as his most autobiographical Ultimately though, what really marks out Meadows’ talent is “There were teachers at school who said I’d end up in prison, film yet. The director has, in interviews and commentaries, his ability to consistently coax astonishing performances out there were only bad things out there for me, yet somehow described his shock and disgust at witnessing a beating during of newcomers, non-actors, soap stars and children. Meadows some people believed in me and I actually made something of his skinhead youth which he felt responsible for encouraging started out making short films starring friends and neighbours myself.” This Is England is the quintessential Shane Meadows to happen. Whilst the film is not a literal dramatisation of that in Sneinton. The big lesson this taught him was that getting picture and also his most mature film yet. After mastering incident, it does tell that story, a rite of passage fable which your friends and neighbours to improvise is easier than getting growing up on film, he’s finally come of age. also forms the basis of Romeo Brass, Twenty Four Seven and them to learn lines. It’s quicker than sitting around for six (chopped and remixed to fit the revenge genre template) Dead months trying to write a script which won’t sound as natural, Man’s Shoes. All these films focus on a friendship between a warm or funny as the things people come up with when they This is England is released on Friday 27 April. teenage boy (or boys) and an older mentor figure. As the boy is don’t what they’re going to say next. Meadows still uses this www.shanemeadows.co.uk

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue16 23 “well, you know where it starts and you know where it needs to Vicky: I think so, maybe it wasn’t, but I think it was meant to be. recently been released from prison, said ‘I saw you on that end up”. It’s a really good way of working. God, we’re giving away too much information here. Crimewatch, driving that Mitsubishi. You know the geezer you This Is Acting… Andrew: It was good that was. It was about £200 for half an were playing, I was actually in prison with him.’ It was quite a Is it quite scary as an actor? hours work. What else have we done? famous case, a group of guys were doing a job at a Carphone Andrew: Yeah, man, I don’t know how many other directors Vicky: Well, the majority of my work has been in the theatre, warehouse store when someone asked them what they were Nottingham’s own Andrew Shim and Vicky McClure both play major parts in the new would work like that… through Central TV Workshop. I did do a two part drama with doing so they beat him up with a wheel brace, stuck a circular Vicky: For me and Andrew, a lot of our training at Central TV Ray Winstone and Adrian Dunbar, called Tough Love and also a saw into his stomach and tried to run him over with their car workshop was based around improvisation. Obviously Shimmy’s short film called Birthday with a guy called Johan Myers. afterwards. I met the victim actually, he was a big geezer, with Shane Meadows film This Is England. The movie has been described by critics as the worked on the majority of Shane’s films, so doing it at a young Andrew: He was in Romeo Brass as well. a big old stomach and that was the reason he survived, because age (he was 13 when he played Romeo Brass) and then again Vicky: Yeah, he was the gay guy who worked with Ladine in the the saw couldn’t get past the fat through to his vital organs. But directors most autobiographical film, with Meadows admitting that much of the plot (which in This is England, for us it’d probably be scarier using a script, laundrette. I played the geezer who drove the car. It was brilliant, I got to knowing you’ve got to hit your marks. I’ve worked like that, drive a Mitsubishi Evo 6 to drive. It was the fastest thing I’d ever revolves around a gang of young skinheads) is taken from his own experiences. Even the where you’ve got to be technically spot-on. So when you’re given Have you dabbled in the theatre Andrew? driven. freedom and choice, it’s probably easier for us. Andrew: Yeah. Funnily enough, me and Vicky played a brother name of the main character, Shaun Fields, offers a major clue to this identity. Andrew and Andrew: The only thing we found really hard in terms of and sister in the last play we did together. It’s really strange, we What are you pair doing at the moment? Promoting This Is improvising for this film was that there’d be seven or eight always seem to end up playing siblings, we did in Romeo Brass England I guess? people in the same scene and everyone wants to be noticed and as well. Vicky: That’s right. I think it’s being shown at a film festival in Vicky are both products of the Central Drama school on Stoney Street and, despite their tries to fit their line in. You get a lot of overlapping and it doesn’t Vicky: And now we’re together as a couple. Bradford soon. always work. Andrew: Yeah, that’s gonna be a tough one, because of the tender ages, are quickly becoming regular faces in Meadows films. We caught up with them Vicky: God, it must be a nightmare to edit. Sounds like a bit of a Freudian soup… subject matter of the film, the racist theme. We’re going to the Andrew: (laughs). No, I like theatre, but I find it much harder festival, so it’ll be interesting to see the reactions. Like I say, for a natter about the film in Ye Olde Trip To Jerusalem… words: Ian Kingsbury photos: Jon Rouston Andrew, you were in an animated version of the Raymond than film. There’s no room for mistakes and if you do go wrong, there’s a particular scene in an Asian corner shop with Combo Briggs classic, Fungus The Bogeyman? you have to think on your feet. and his gang. It’s a fantastic scene, but it’s a bit tough to watch, Andrew: Yeah, wow, no-one’s ever asked me about that. Vicky: I think theatre gives you a good grounding. It gives you so we’ll see how it goes down. Basically, it was a cartoon I did about four years ago. The BBC the technical skills, I suppose in the same way that a trained Vicky: It’s a real shame that the film’s been given an 18 So, you’re back working with Shane Meadows. Can you tell us Like blood brothers, but more spit brothers, obviously. and a Canadian company got together to adapt the book into ballet dancer has the basic technique to dance in any style. If certificate, because it’s a film that’s been made with kids under about your new film This is England? Andrew: Yeah, Combo basically fills his head with a load of shit. Vicky, you had to shave your hair off for the part… an animation and I played a character called Grot. I had to go you can master the theatre, when you go onto film and TV you’ve 15 and it’s about growing up and coming of age and all that sort Andrew: A lot of it was filmed in Nottingham. It’s based around He splits the gang in two, one side goes down the National Front Vicky: We were in this pub when Shane said to me ‘this out to Canada for the filming. It was great! I was 19 and living got the basics under your belt. I think the transition from TV and of thing. I think it needs to be seen by that young audience. a young lad called Shaun and a skinhead gang that me and path and the other, including mine and Vicky’s characters, go character I’m thinking of for you is a real rough, skinhead type of in Canada for a couple of months, in a hotel. I provided the film to theatre is much harder than from theatre to TV and film. Andrew: I can’t believe they’ve given it an 18 certificate. Like Vicky are part of. It’s set it in the six week school holidays. Life’s the other way. Unfortunately Shaun tags onto Combo’s side of girl’, and I just thought ‘yeah, whatever’. I didn’t think anything character’s movements and voice. Actually, I can tell you this, it Vicky said, it needs to be seen by 15, 16 year olds because they not too great for Shaun, he lost his dad in the Falklands war, he’s things, until he gets out of his depth and realises that things of it and then it kind of clicked that I’d have to do it. The night was one of the first productions ever to use motion capture. I had You guys, Shane Meadows and others like Paddy Considine can learn from it. It’s better to see these themes on the screen getting bullied at school and he falls out with his mum. Then he aren’t right. before I woke up in a cold sweat, panicking. to wear a skin-tight suit with balls all over it, like motion sensors. seem to have hit on a winning formula. You work so well than learn the hard way by making mistakes in your own life. stumbles across our skinhead gang and we take a shine to him. Andrew: She did! She woke up crying. You could actually watch yourself on a monitor with the CGI together. Tell us about how it all came about… Vicky: Kids are taught about World War Two, the Middle Ages, He’s about thirteen and we take him under our wing and Vicky Shaun Fields isn’t that much of a leap from Shane Meadows. Vicky: When it came to the day, all the girls in the room were in character put over the top. Andrew: I went to the Carlton Junior workshop, when Vicky was all these important points in history, but they don’t know about and her gang of girls kit him out. It basically goes from happy, Do you know how far the film is based on Shane’s childhood? tears and it was quite dramatic. When I look back on it now, it there, but I’d only been there for about six months. I was kind of more recent history that their parents lived through and has pissing-about type adventures, until an older member of the Vicky: I’m not sure if all the scenes were drawn directly from his was actually really liberating and I’m glad I did it. Watching the I notice that you both starred as ‘man’ and ‘woman’ in pushed into it by my grandma, because my sister (Shauna) went shaped what they are. A documentary on MoreFour the other gang (Combo) comes out of prison after a couple of years inside. experiences, but when Shane created the film and characters he film back, if I hadn’t shaved my hair off, it would have drastically something called The Stairwell. Can you tell us a bit about there and really loved it. I went there but didn’t really take to it. night took the film to a school and got some fifteen year olds to He’s been introduced to the National Front whilst in prison. told me that the girls that were in gangs when he was growing changed my character. that? I was just about to leave, and I’m sure I said to my grandma on watch it and they said that the language and issues are basically up were as hard as the blokes. In the film my character Lol is Andrew: We were down in London doing some interviews and Andrew: Man and woman! (laughs). the Monday that I was going to leave, but on the Wednesday I what they experience all the time. You just want to say to them, So it all goes a bit sinister? certainly not effeminate at all. The gang is quite similar to the someone actually asked her if she’d shave her hair off for a photo Vicky: Shane (Meadows) was asked to make a 15 minute short heard about an audition that was coming up for a film by a guy ‘listen to your audience’. Andrew: Yeah, it’s all about that transitional period. At first one Shane was in when he was young, and each character in the shoot! film on a Nokia mobile phone. called Shane Meadows. So I thought “oh, I may as well stay for being a skinhead was basically a fashion statement, but then film has very strong characteristics that I’m sure were drawn Andrew: Were we in here again? this.” So I went to the audition and got the part of Romeo Brass. the National Front moved in, and the BNP, and a lot of skinheads from real people. Andrew, most people will know you as Romeo Brass from A Vicky: Yeah, we were in this very pub trying to come up with After that I just became really good friends with Shane. turned to racism. Andrew: It’s not a mirror image of his own life, but it is based Room for Romeo Brass. That film has a very improvised feel to some ideas. I think we went through so many stupid ones until Vicky: Shaun’s a vulnerable character and when Combo comes around a period in his life when he had to make certain decisions it. Is that how Shane likes to work? we came up with the set-up of a French girl and a man who What else have you been up to? along, Shaun sees him as a father figure and puts his trust in and was faced with uncomfortable situations. All the characters Andrew: To be honest, Shane always works like that. He bump into each other on some stairs, job done. Andrew: I’ve done bits and bobs. A while ago I actually did a This is England is released in cinemas on Friday 27 April him. There’s quite a nice scene in the film where he spits on his have tough decisions to face. I suppose it’s a coming of age film basically uses the script as a guide. You read through your scene reconstruction for Crimewatch UK (laughs). I was in a barbers hand and rubs it as if to say, ‘we’re together now’. at heart. in rehearsal, but we put the script aside and he’ll basically say So was that actually filmed on a mobile phone? shop not long after it went out, and a guy who I knew, who’d

24 www.leftlion.co.uk/issue16 www.leftlion.co.uk/issue16 25 Here at LeftLion we’ll use any excuse to showcase the musical talent in Hood Town. So when we chatted to the Rescue Rooms about doing another gig at their place and they offered us Friday 13th April we got very excited indeed. It’s going to be a late one and hopefully a little bit spooky too. Break out your Frankenstein masks and pointy hats for a party LeftLion-style. words: Rebecca Kielty

Dan: Thingland Studio! Home of Old Basford. Old Basford Ceri: We like The Golden Fleece. It’s just over the road from Thingland, which is probably the What can people expect from the Rescue place we spend the most time. We go where Rooms show? the music is good. Chris: Real music played by great artists from different musical genres of the Notts scene. Music/games/dvds: Rental place or library? Ceri: From us in particular, kick-ass boogie Chris: The library is where me gran goes to find blues. Old Basford on top form with lots of new her Mills and Boons books. tunes and the addition of slide guitar into the Dan: I still owe £5 on me library card, so it’s the band. corner shop for me. Ceri: Is this a real question? How will you be getting to the show? Chris: The Number 13 bus down Castle Boulevard. What is coming up for you over the next year? Dan: Riding a heavily armed bipedal red horse. Chris: More releases, more gigs and more Ceri: In a borrowed hearse. songs. Dan: Develop the studio and record an album of Wikipedia says most of New Basford is in fact international significance. Victorian. So what’s old Basford? Ceri: We have three creations, two of which are Dan: Contemporary! Heavy, blues boogie with brand new, available right now. Which we’ll soul. We are in the now. push on you relentlessly at the gig. Chris: When I was a kid I would go fishing a lot with me dad. People always used to talk about Anything else you want to say to LeftLion this carp in the Trent that once was caught by readers? Issac Walton and weighed 61lb 7oz. Walton Chris: Burn your Oasis albums and check out caught the beast and bragged to all about the are zombies who can dance. why the hell would I get rid of it? the Sleaford Mods! struggle he had with her. Me dad always used Dan: Play with passion. Dan: Check out our Red Mist EP. Buy it if you to tell me this story and the carp was called Old What was the last thing you heard that made Ceri: I smell like a garlic farm continuously so can. Basford. As we are all keen fisherman, Dan and you squirm? no problem with vampires. A little communion Ceri: This magazine does a great thing for Ceri mostly fly-fishing, it seemed only right to Chris: Oasis on the Brits. wine should also help. Nottingham and it’s music scene. Support it. carry bring the legendary tale to the public eye. Dan: The majority of the Brits especially Amy Come to the gig, and bring your dancing pants. Winehouse. She’s like a desperate, slutty What are your favourite hangouts in Anything you’re scared of at a Friday the 13th Streisand… Nottingham? Basford perhaps? show? Chris: I like to hang outside the shops on www.oldbasford.com Dan: What ya got? Any precautions you’ll be taking on the day to Northgate with me mates, get a bottle of Chris: Will Jason be there? ward off evil? MD20/20 and listen to the new Akon album on Ceri: The audience being zombies. Unless they Chris: I plan on bringing the evil towards me, me new w950i. Safe yeah!

The Smears Emma: Nothing! He’s in the closet. Horror movies: old school or new school? What can people expect from the show at the C Doll: I prefer old school ones as if they’re not Rescue Rooms? scary, at least they’re funny. C Doll: Some new material. Miss C: You can’t beat old school, although Miss C: Fun as per usual! I have to say it’s a little sick. Take Freddy Emma: Whatever we can expect from them! Krueger for instance… he’s a paedophile who Give it to us and we’ll give it right back. If not, haunts children’s dreams! we’ll be playing our asses off anyway. Emma: I am a total wuss. I can barely watch either! How will you be getting to the show? Miss C: I’ll get Jeeves my Limo driver to drop What’s coming up for you over the next me off around the corner; I don’t want to be year? embarrassed. C Doll: Hopefully another release and a tour at Emma: Bats biting me and not getting paid C Doll: Hopefully I can grab a lift so I don’t some point. enough… have to drive. Miss C: An album launch. We have a brilliant

idea that has been in the pipeline for some Any precautions you’ll be taking to ward off If you could get anyone in to play with you, time. who would you choose? evil? Emma: Lots of work. C Doll: Lenny Kravitz to play guitar and Take C Doll: I’ll no doubt have a few drinks… That to breakdance. Miss C: No, I am sure my ex-boyfriends will Anything else you want to say to LeftLion Miss C: What do you mean by play with me? stay away on their own accord. readers? Either way from Faith No More! Emma: No, I embrace evil in all its forms. C Doll: Come to the gig and dance off all those Emma: Randy Newman or PJ Harvey. Easter Eggs you’ve been eating. What would you do if there was a monster in Miss C: What more could you want than The your closet? Anything you’re scared of at a Friday the Smears and Old Basford? 13th show? C Doll: I’d lock it in and go back to sleep. Miss C: Kick its head in nun-chuck style. I have C Doll: Running out of beer… www.thesmears.com Miss C: Ditto. Although there is always the off been getting lessons and I am getting far too licence to get a couple of tinnies! good at it. In fact I am a ninja!

26 www.leftlion.co.uk/issue16 Spotlight Kid What are your favourite hangouts in We Show Up Nottingham? What can people expect from your Rescue Katty: The Orange Tree, The Golden Fleece, On Radar Rooms show? Moog and Nottinghamshire High School for boys. Katty: General noise created by guitarists with Chris: The Rescue Rooms. (Andy Wright) too many pedals with a faint murmuring of vocals and some trippy lights. What was the last thing you read? Chris: A wave of beautiful noise to put a smile Chris: A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry. on your face. Katty: On Beauty by Zadie Smith.

How will you be getting to the show? gaze at them lovingly. But they’re not actually Anything you’re scared of at a Friday the Katty: On horseback. 13th show? Chris: Virgin trains. Hope I make it in time... proper shoes are they? So I guess I’ll have to say my Dunlop green flash for reasons of Katty: The backing track not working. comfort. Or do flip flops count? What’s your favourite of your own tracks? Anything else you want to say to LeftLion Chris: Hungover - It’s a drummers showcase! readers? Katty: Machines - It requires minimal effort. Looking at your listed influences; draw me a parallel between My Bloody Valentine and T. Rex Chris: We have a tour coming up in mid-April around the UK. Just finished a track for the Your Myspace says your work alludes “to the Chris: The Grooves of Electric Warrior swamped in the beautiful noise of Loveless. new Club AC30 compilation, a cover of the great moments of shoegaze.” Do you have a Telescopes’ You Set My Soul should be out this current favourite pair of shoes? Who was the last artist to really impress you? side of this year. Chris: I’ve just bought a great pair of Chelsea Katty: There’s more to me than shoes… boots from . Chris: Broken Social Scene, Scott Mathews, Hearts Of Black Science and The Early Years. Katty: Shoes, shoes… oh wonderful shoes. I www.myspace.com/spotlightkidsound love my pink suede knee-high boots. I often Katty: Jamie Lidell. What noise will you make the night of the show? all that’s left is tumbleweed rolling across the We’ll sound just like a band that has been DJ Squigley ground! It’s like a seaside town but in reverse. booked by a group of very young children Surely there must be life without students? or animals to provide the after dinner What can people expect from the show at entertainment. The guests at the dinner the Rescue Rooms? How and through whom/what did music party would mainly comprise of woodland A set which sends tingles down your spine enter your life? creatures and it would almost certainly be a and makes your hair stand on end. I’m going I used to be a roadie for a huge soundsystem black tie affair.... for a horror movie set with some turntable and I learned to DJ. My first record was Musical wizardry thrown in. Expect to be scared Youth’s Pass the Dutchie. I can remember asking What noise do you make on radar? shitless with some sick hiphop beats. my mum what a dutchie was and she told me When we appear on radar we make the Where do you find inspiration in that it was a plate that they pass around. sound of a bird tweeting and then being hit Nottingham? How will you be getting to the show? gently on the head with a pan. I’m getting a lift from the headless horseman. Everywhere. You can find inspiration in the What is coming up for you over the next year? strangest places. Like with music you can hear We’ve got a new release on the way. We’re Who, on Friday the 13th, will be checking the smallest loop, develop it, change it, add Any precautions you’ll be taking to ward off evil? playing abroad a lot again which is good. Nottingham by radar? bits and before you know it it’s grown into a I’m bringing my battle weapons and itchy We’re working on the Garden Festival and the The only people who have access locally whole track. trigger fingers. Brighton Hiphop festival. Launching our artist to any quality of radar devices are traffic management company and we’ve collaborating police for speed traps. I hope they don’t What do you want to change about What was the last thing you tasted that with Sureshot to bring Styles P to Stealth on come to my gig. Everyone else is more than Nottingham? made you squirm? Sunday 22nd April plus loads more. welcome! Airline food of some description. I’d stop it from being so seasonal. As soon as the students go all the club nights stop and www.ohmygosh.co.uk Anything you’re scared of at a Friday the 13th show? I’m normally petrified before I go on stage Liati: We’re doing our first full length record anyway so I suppose I’ll be scared of the The Elementz this year and we intend to do it big. We’re usual stuff plus the monsters. meditating on a name right now and setting th Any precautions you’ll be taking on the 13 up the planning stages. We’re recording with Any precautions you’ll be taking on the to ward off evil? a lot of good people right now like Roll Deep, day to ward off evil? Liati: “I’m gonna put on an ironed shirt. Ain’t Young Kof and Taskforce. I will be sticking cloves of garlic to my face gonna do the devils work. Am gone send him with gaffer tape and Peter as always will to outta space. To find another race”… Max Anything else you want to say to LeftLion have a bag full of smoke grenades, mustard Romeo knew about these issues. readers? gas and a rape alarm. Zoutr: Earmuffs. elements are made of particles which are Zoutr: Thanks for reading this. Keep How will you be getting to the show? basically vibrating loops of energy. So I’m a supporting us and check our myspace for What was the last thing you read? Liati: The Elementz studio is just up the road walking collection of vibrating loops of energy. news. The last thing I read was The Wind In so we’ll probably just footsoldier it. Liati: Thank you for your support, stick with The Willows by Kenneth Grahame. At the What are your plans for the rest of 2007? us and we’ll make something very special moment I’m reading Long Way Round by Which elements are you, respectively? Zoutr: We’re just adding the finishing touches happen. The universe can conspire to help us Charlie Boorman and Ewan McGregor. Liati: My name stands for is Love Is All There to the studio and working on all achieve something beautiful and positive. They went on a trip very similar to one we Is, so I’ll let the people interpret. the next independent release for later this Blessed love. undertook recently. We drove from London Zoutr: 99% of the mass of the human body year. Lots of other things like chart shows and to Mongolia in a Fiat Panda, so I wanted to is made up of oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, external shenanigans. www.myspace.com/elementsuniverse read their account of it and fill in the gaps nitrogen, calcium and phosphorus. All these of my journey where I was either asleep or drunk! What was the last thing you read? Karizma The last thing I read was an article about What is coming up for you over the illegal overdraft charges. Get your overdraft next year? How will you be getting to the show? charges back from the robbing bankers (and We’ve got loads of great stuff coming up. By foot, in my Pumas down Talbot Street. feel free to swop the ‘b’ for a ‘w’). We’re releasing an EP on 2 April through Imoto Records called Growing A Girl What’s your favourite of your own tracks? What have you got planned for the rest of 2007? (Instructions On How To Grow A Girl My favourite of my own tracks at the moment I’m working on my solo release and getting a Without Your Wife Finding Out) closely is Karma produced by Chemo, story rap with mixtape together to see who’s feeling what. Then followed by another EP then the album and a message. hopefully get an EP out by the end of the year. It’s a tour in Summer. been a long time coming and I’m hungry. Who was the last artist to really impress you? www.weshowuponradar.com The last artist that really impressed me was Anything else you want to say to LeftLion Young Kof. I recorded a track with him, which readers? he wrote and laid in record time. Made me Big up to all of ya! Keep ya heads high, ya want to step up my game! lads anywhere around Lace Market or Hockley. hearts strong and achieve every dream you can. Hopefully see you on the 13th April… spoo-hooky! What are your favourite hangouts in What was the last album that you bought? Nottingham? Illmatic by Nas because my copy scratched. I www.myspace.com/i_am_karizma My crib with my boy! When I’m out with the was extremely wounded.

To buy tickets online for this gig visit www.leftlion.co.uk/tickets

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue16 27

Bonsai projects/Aliprojects/Ali Hazeldene Musician Sinking Ships Comic CrCreatoreator FinishFinish this: A man walks into a bar with an etch-a-sketch and says to the bar man… I just FinishFinish this: A man walks into a bar with an etch-a-sketch and peeled your Nan’sNan’s face off! I hope this will make says to the bar man… Please take this etch-a-sketch away frfromom up for it! me. I cancan’t’t draw a straight diagonal line. I feel like this exemplifies What’s your creative niche? I’m a dyslexic all of my failurfailureses and inadequacies as a human being. musician and arartisttist with a hankering for the What’s your creative niche? Niche comes fromfrom the LLatinatin wordword rreverentlyeverently obscene. nidus, meaning nest. My nest is built mostly out of books, comics What is it that makes you an arartist?tist? The frfruitionuition and old records,records, oh and wood... treestrees areare veryvery important.important. of crcreativeeative thought, the space between god and Who is your most influential arartisttist or writer? I reallyreally love AdrianAdrian concrconcrete.ete. Tomine,Tomine, KurtKurt VVonnegutonnegut and HugleikHugleikurur Dagsson. Who is your most influential arartist?tist? Nick Cave. What are you up to at the moment? FFinishinginishing a new comic and What are you up to at the moment? I have just an EP.EP. They go together to tell a story.story. finished my new album Broken Orchestra, a lolo-fi-fi How can we access your art?art? In mini comic formform at PPageage 45 or clutter of semi-distrsemi-distressedessed memorabilia! directdirect fromfrom me throughthrough MySpace. Where can we hear your music? ThroughThrough What’s your favorite artart space in Nottingham? I don’tdon’t rreallyeally think we have enough... it would myspace and coming to see me play.play. be grgreateat to see moremore artart in public spaces like libraries and on bus stops. What’s your favorite hangout in Nottingham? The Malt CrossCross and anything Who would you like to collaborate with? My best friend Chris Killen who’swho’s an amazing fiction SuperSupernightnight do. writer based in ManchesterManchester.. Who in Nottingham would you like to collaborate with and what would this What is your top tip for upcoming arartists?tists? Just enjoy crcreatingeating stuffstuff.. be? The PilgrimPilgrim Fathers.Fathers. A bit of wee comes out everyevery time I see them. What’s your philosophy for life? TryTry not to brbreakeak anything, unless it works better brbroken.oken. What’s your top tip for upcoming artists?artists? RecordRecord everythingeverything you do. What would you demonstrate against? Against anything that hurtshurts people, animals or plants, What do you see in the future? Dinosaurs weeping by my grave. although it’s hardhard to know with plants because they’rethey’re so quiet. What would you demonstrate against? Bad music. I hate songs disguised as YouYou are standing in as the Mayor of Nottingham. What is top of your agenda? He has a love songs and those soulless talentless twerps with their tainted little bilious Bentley doesn’tdoesn’t he? I’d probablyprobably sell that along with the gold bling and put the money into egos spewing turgidturgid gooey wank into the ether so they can have a new hairdohairdo public transport.transport. everyevery other day.day. What city would you twin Nottingham with and why? TokyoTokyo because I’ve always wanted to YouYou are standing in as the Mayor of Nottingham. What is top of your go thertheree and maybe therethere could be an exchange programprogram or something. agenda? String em’ up! String em’ all up! And clear up afterafter yourself while you’reyou’re at it! wwwwww.myspace.com/thingsweshouldhavesaid.myspace.com/thingsweshouldhavesaid What city would you twin Nottingham with and why? Edinburgh,Edinburgh, because then we’d have our work cut out!

wwwwww.myspace.com/.myspace.com/bonsaiprbonsaiprojectsojects Simon WithersWithers ArtistArtist

Natasha Stott PPerformanceerformance ArtistArtist FinishFinish this: A man walks into a bar with an etch-a-sketch and says to the bar man… FinishFinish this: A man walks into a bar with an etch- How many lemons would it take to fill a a-sketch and says to the bar man… Nothing lasts helicopter? forforever,ever, everything’severything’s in transit. What’s your creative niche? About 6ft6ft x 5ft5ft What’s your creative niche? CreativeCreative What is it that makes you an artist?artist? Blood Communication: multi-tasking multi-disciplinarmulti-disciplinaryy and Guts projects.projects. Who is your most influential arartist?tist? Dave What is it that makes you an artist?artist? I am a social Mattacks being, I belong to a community and I createcreate a What are you up to at the moment? I’m communitycommunity.. The way in which I act, think, rresearch,esearch, currentlycurrently exhibiting in PParadearade exhibitions at prprocessocess and prproduce,oduce, is arart.t. the Angel Row GalleryGallery called TerraTerra Incognita Most influential perperformanceformance artist?artist? John and Out of Place. I am also a member of the Berkavitch. Nottingham Studios Consortium,Consortium, set up to What are you up to at the moment? I’m in talks develop a new arartists’tists’ studio complex for the city.city. for a permanentpermanent rresidenceesidence to host my community How can we access your arart?t? See axisartists.org,axisartists.org, the Saatchi GalleryGallery ’Your’Your Gallery’Gallery’ website or and company dance. On 6th May at The Maze I am oldknows.co.uk. putting on a fundraiser consisting of bands, spoken What is your favorite arartt space in Nottingham? My studio. worwordd poets, breakbreak dancers, drdrummers,ummers, DJs and Who in Nottingham would you like to collaborate with and what would this be? EverEveryy arartisttist in VJs. Nottingham and to crcreateeate a mass arartt work in the new Market SquarSquare.e. How can we access your art?art? Check my website for up to date details of events, What is your top tip for upcoming arartists?tists? StarStartt the day with some freshlyfreshly squeezed orange juice. performances,performances, fundraisers and education and community work. What happened to you today? I obserobservedved wonderwonderfulful things. Who would you like to collaborate with? Dance4. What do you see in the future? Only a reflectionreflection of the past. What is your top tip for upcoming arartists?tists? Confidence is essential for success. What would you demonstrate against? EveryEvery Nottingham artistartist coming together in the new What happened to you today? AfAfterter an interviewinterview in Derby I got the train to Market SquarSquaree to crcreateeate a mass arartwork.twork. Nottingham and saw a girl looking at one of those sign-posted maps. I asked her YYouou are standing in as the Mayor of Nottingham. What is top of your agenda? ToTo make what she was looking for.for. It turturnedned out she had an interinterviewview at Trent,Trent, it remindedreminded Nottingham a major internationalinternational cultural centrecentre for the ararts.ts. me of wherewhere I was and how far I’ve come… I carcarriedried on walking and wonderwondereded if I What city would you twin Nottingham with and why? Rome. As the Mayor of Nottingham I might catch a glimpse of what may be. could make rregularegular visits as our cultural ambassador.ambassador. What do you see in the future? Amazing growthgrowth and regenerationregeneration in Nottingham, prprojectsojects that make a differdifference,ence, to all the communitycommunity.. I see people wwwwww..oldknows.co.uk taking pride in the city,city, celebrations, festivals and carcarnivals.nivals. What would you demonstrate against? War.War. YYouou are standing in as The Mayor of Nottingham. What is top of your agenda? TTalkingalking to the community and finding out what people think, want and need, then making it happen. Generating opporopportunitiestunities and spaces for young people to learn,learn, crcreateeate and interact. If you would like to feature on these pages wwwwww.danako.co.u.danako.co.uk email details about your work (with exam- www.myspace.com/tashyboo2www.myspace.com/tashyboo2u ples if possible) to [email protected]

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue16 29 LeftLion whips out the credit card and wallows in the retail wonderland that is Nottingham. OUT&ABOUT Our people on the street this time are Camillo, Nathan Miller, Jon McGregor and Jessica Troughton...

Bluu The Loft

Taking its name It’s nice to see The Loft from the legendary back and on form, after Blue Note jazz club a few months out. The in Hoxton Square, venue had become an the first Bluu took essential stop for the over the original Mansfield Road massive site following the before its sudden closure clubs demise. This last year. Thankfully small chain has now the doors of this nicely spread its wings to turned-out late bar didn’t four cities including stay shut long and after its Nottingham bar a refurbishment with the which opened six addition of some nice years ago. new features, it’s back in Reputed for its quality business. cocktails and now a firm fixture on the The new owners are local scene, Bluu Jamie Spooner and Jade is an impressive and stylish space comprising a restaurant, main bar and basement. The Lambert who bought it bar has picked up a number of awards along the way, including Best Service at last years last September and have Nottingham restaurant awards. spent the time since with manager Hugh perfecting the place. It officially reopened last New Regularly competing with the likes of World Service come awards time, the food is Year’s Eve with a night of DJs, dancing and general New Year’s revelry. particularly worth checking out, offering modern European cuisine with worldwide influences. Nicely positioned between The Maze and Fade, the bar has always had a strong reputation The highlight of the premises has to be the newly refurbished basement with cheeky for down to earth drinking and quality DJ bookings. Friday and Saturdays will be DJs from the graphics from reputed design house Studio Output throughout. A luxurious space which is funkier side of the spectrum and Sunday is Melody Market, a night run by old growler himself big enough to get your dancing shoes on whilst equally suited to some serious relaxation. Will Jeffery featuring acoustic music from across the city. Live music is a new direction for the The music leans towards funk, with this issue’s interviewees Neon Heights (see page 12) intimate venue and it promises to be an individual space for bands to play. regularly spinning in the basement and on the right night you can catch trumpets and bongos adding to the atmosphere. There is an overall quality music policy which helps set With a Wireless connection, Xbox competitions, speed dating, fancy dress and themed nights the bar apart from some of the more cheesy bars that surround it. there is something for everyone in the new Loft. The soon to be unveiled tapas menu can Check out their 5-8pm affair in the evenings for cheap drinks and nibbles or join them for only add to the attraction of partying penthouse style. Check out Crazy P behind the decks on their sixth Birthday blowout on 12 April and get funky in the basement. Saturday 31 March.

Bluu, 5 Broadway, The Lace Market, NG1 1PR 0115 950 5359 The Loft, 217 Mansfield Road, NG1 5FS 0115 950 3455 www.bluu.co.uk

Nottingham Bar Awards Ripple

As this issue of Given the amazing LeftLion went to amount of restaurants in press the votes the Sherwood area of the were feverishly city it’s surprising that being counted to a bar has never arrived decide the winners on the scene and made of the inaugural a real impact. Having Nottingham Bar and been open for four months Club Awards. The Ripple looks set to change event is a concerted this trend and is the first effort to improve contemporary styled the reputation of venue that the area has the city’s nightlife seen. after years of bad press and give Hood Taking a modern chic Town’s night owls design direction can be and lounge lizards a a hit and miss choice, chance to big up their as often this type of favourite watering establishment skates a holes. The lucky victors will be informed of their triumph at a special ceremony at Dogma on fine line between a warm 2 April, featuring music from Secret Stealth and hosted by a compere from Just The Tonic. and cold atmosphere. Ripple, however, achieves this necessary warmth with ease and creates a With categories ranging from Best to Best Cocktail Bar, there’ll be plenty of stylish and down to earth environment for both wining and dining. ammunition for a good old-fashioned pub debate about how well your favourite watering holes fared. There is an impressive food menu throughout the day and evening, for a late breakfast check out their Cantaloupe melon with mixed berries or sample swordfish kebabs from their evening All the awards have been voted for by the public through ballot boxes in city bars and selection. Get yourself a loyalty card and you can have your fifth meal for free! If your stomach via the event’s website. “Nottingham is renowned for having some of the best nightlife in isn’t rumbling, the friendly service and corner sofas make the place a great choice for meeting the country but too often, it’s the negative publicity that creeps out,” claims the Awards over a coffee or beer. organiser Chris Legh. “The idea of the awards is to celebrate the city’s pubs, bars and and let the people of Nottingham decide which ones are best. We’ve had such an The majority of the food is organically sourced, with the owners ensuring as much support is amazing response already that I’m sure these are set to become a major annual event.” We’ll given to the local community as possible by sourcing from nearby outlets. drink to that. The ambience is aided by the quality music selection - any trained ear will notice the chillbeat sounds are well selected to match the space. LeftLion is always happy to accompany a glass of www.nottinghambarawards.co.uk red with the likes of Massive Attack and the Good Looking records stable.

Ripple, 577 Mansfield Road, NG5 2JN 0115 969 3335 www.ripplecafebar.co.uk

30 www.leftlion.co.uk/issue16

OUT&ABOUT

Nottingham Writers’ Studio Community Protection?

When it comes to facilities for So, we’ve all seen the Community Protection Officers in the arts, writers often get left the city centre. You might also, (like us) have thought , out. Visual artists get their What exactly do they do? And more importantly, should studio spaces, film-makers I care? get their cameras and edit Well, in a word..yes. Its our city after all. suites, dancers get their The Community and Neighbourhood Protection Service shiny sprung wooden floors, has been in existence for around three years and in that but writers are somehow time, seen many changes. A reputation (in many cases expected to make do with a undeserved) for City Centre violence and anti-social notebook and a kitchen table. behaviour has left Nottingham folk with a bad taste in their mouths. Which is where the newly But does this kind of policing make a difference. opened Nottingham Writers’ ‘It makes a massive difference’ says student Roya Pearce Studio, down on Heathcoat ‘I like the idea of people being fined for dropping litter, Street in Hockley, comes why should I have to wade through cr*p every time I in. The building offers walk down Clumber st?!’ affordable workspace for As the service launches Neighbourhood Policing next month, the CPO’s will be working alongside the writers along with a meeting and resource room for members who don’t require a full-time Police in designated ‘Beat Teams’. ‘There will be 56 Beat Teams in Nottingham’ says Service Director workspace. It’s a suitably unglamorous building, more Kerouac than Capote, but Andrew Errington’ Each team will be based in the same area and will get to know their own community it’s crammed with everything the established and emerging writer needs such as wireless well, building familiarity and trust’ internet access, printing and copying facilities, a small library, comfortable chairs, tea and As the service becomes more professionalized, the role of CPO is apparently becoming more and more coffee and a space which can be used for meetings and events. attractive to graduates. ‘As the role evolves, greater levels of responsibility are required’ says Executive Officer Pete Mitchell ‘In this influx of new recruits, at least half were educated to degree level, the The members come from a variety of writing backgrounds. There are novelists, poets, competitive salary as well as a fast track career progression also helps of course’ screenwriters, playwrights, journalists and copywriters - all at different stages in their Area Team Leader Tom Rawlins has been with the service for 10 months and has already been promoted careers, from those still pursuing their first publication through to award-winning old from CPO to ATL ‘The job is different everyday’ he says, ‘Because we are present at weekly tasking hands. It’s this mix of backgrounds which is one of the strengths of the Writers’ Studio, meetings with the Police, we know what is going on in the city and where the ‘hotspots’ are. It gives us providing as it does the opportunity for unexpected collaborations and interactions as well better idea of how to best divide up our resources’. as an informal support network. The service is currently trialling ‘headcams’ and Nottingham is in fact the first community protection service in the whole of the UK to use this technology. ‘People tend to be a lot less likely to engage in Anti The workspaces are available for as little as £15 a week (with the option of sharing a space social Behaviour if they are being filmed’ laughs ATL Rawlins. ASB has in fact dropped by a massive 25% to make it even more affordable). Membership provides access to all the facilities and to a in areas of Notts where the headcams are being used and there are plans are to roll out the system city developing programme of events and activities and costs £50 a year. wide by the end of June this year.

Nottingham Writers’ Studio, 1st and 2nd Floor, 37 Heathcoat street, Hockley NG1 3AG www.nottinghamwriters.wordpress.com

To get your business listed in these pages (and on our website) Out and About Directory contact [email protected] or phone 0115 9123782

Dave Mann Music Nottingham Creative Business Awards

Dave Mann Music is a family run The Nottingham independent musical instrument retailer, Creative Business specialising in acoustic and electro-acoustic Awards promises to guitars, mandolins, banjos, ukuleles and be this year’s hottest orchestral stringed instruments. celebration of home- The shop was established 1970, starting grown talent, creativity out with musical instrument repairs and and innovation. Stepping soon branching into retail sales. The away from Nottingham’s business expanded healthily and has old stance of making resulted in Dave Mann Music now being lace hankies and the regarded as one of the best acoustic rusting tradition of Robin instrument shops in the UK. Hood, our reputation The business incorporates a repair workshop, servicing and repairing stringed as the art hole of the instruments. The workshop is an essential part of the business, setting up and testing all East Midlands owes instruments before they are offered for sale. it’s roots to Nottingham If you’re looking at buying an instrument pop in and see them for a chat. In terms of Trent University. The personal service you won’t find anywhere better in Nottingham. institution provides such a roomy spread of career Dave Mann Music, 123-125 Mansfield Road, NG1 3FQ. 0115 9417955 www.davemann.co.uk opportunities that we have more professional artists nesting here than any other city outside London.

View From The Top HBJ Gateley Wareing is a dynamic law firm with offices in Nottingham, Birmingham and Leicester. This year they have chosen to team up with Nottingham Creative Network to promote the Creative Business Awards and are also looking to bring thirteen individual award sponsors on board. The thirteen View From The Top is an events room, gallery categories jump through every creative niche; they’re looking for the kookiest photographic project, the and exhibition space tucked away on the fourth wildest fashion designer and the foxiest music company to display and demonstrate their contribution. floor of Waterstones book store in the heart of There is something for everyone. Nottingham city centre. The 1500 square foot events room has an Nomination applications are due to be launched later this month and closing in July ready for an autumnal astonishing view of the city skyline and ponder between August and July before all will unite in a spectacular shirt and tie do at Broadway provides a uniquely different and inspirational on 8 October. The event is set to be a fairground delight of film showings, art exhibition and catwalk environment for training, workshops, conferences extravaganza- far from a 2-hour mic drone. If you’re doing creative work in the city then check them out and launches. and you may finally get some of the recognition you deserve. The large, beautiful gallery is open to the public every day and offers a superb central space for important community and commercial shows. An adjacent smaller gallery is also Interested in becoming a sponsor? Contact Paul Hough on 0115 848 8173 available for solo or small exhibitions. www.nottinghamcreativebusinessawards.org.uk The venue is run by an independent company working closely with Waterstones, who host many of their famous author signings in the events room. They offer reduced hire rates to public sector, charities and not for profit organisations. View from The Top, Fourth Floor above Waterstones, Bridlesmith Gate, NG1 2GR 07951 997528 www.viewfromthetop.co.uk

32 www.leftlion.co.uk/issue16

The Magic Numbers to open Market Square

Coolies, I really like them! I think it’s the fact that they look like hippy versions of Brian Blessed that does it for me. TheAllSeeingPie

Not really fussed about The Magic Numbers either way. Non-offensive average . I think they should have focused the whole thing on Notts talent. Imagine Grain playing the market Square, the place would be jumping! Mr BRJ

I quite like The Magic Numbers. Rather them than some Pop Idol/ X Factor crap chart band. Also been told that the new square will have lots of opportunity to showcase musical talent, so it should be a good thing for Nottingham bands in the long term. Jared

If the council just put on local bands it would just be the same old scene queens that turn up to the same from l-r: Gza, Ben and Ryan old functions in the same old stagnating minority venues all the time. This is about bringing new people into town. People who have been scared off by the bad press and the stench of negativity about the place. The Maze is an important venue for live music in Nottingham, a ryanoft haven for local musicians and a top place to see touring acts. The It’s worth pointing out The Magic Numbers are on Heavenly Recordings: a label that has strong site is steeped in history going back to it’s origins in the 1800’s as a roots in Nottingham. Our local acts are great but if Nottingham is to shake its poor national image, it fight-club-style practice ground for legendary local boxer Bendigo. needs to appeal to people outside the NG postcode. The Magic Numbers aren’t everybody’s cup of tea This time two years ago it was under threat of closure, but happily but in my eyes they fit the bill really well! Pete Spectrum it’s been taken over by a new team and pushed harder than ever

I almost don’t care what happens in the Market before. As they prepare to celebrate The Maze’s tenth birthday we Square. At least it will be finished and we can have big outdoor events in the city and a free concert. Brilliant! caught up for a chat… words: Jared Wilson photo: Bobby G pollypocket

It seems a long time since the ‘Save The Maze campaign’ of 2005. If you could get any act in to play The Maze, who would you Politicians On Myspace What’s happened since you guys took over… choose? Ben: Well, I bought the place back in October 2005. I didn’t really Ben: I’d have loved to have Buddy Holly on my stage… even Elvis What do you think of politicians putting their pages know much about it, I just bought it on instinct. Then I found out was a fan of his. on myspace and facebook? Dead trendy? A cheap, what Nottingham and its culture is all about and slowly got into it. Ryan: Being a big Joy Division fan, I’d love to bring back effective method of mass communication? or just a Ryan: The first year of opening was a steep learning curve. We had from the dead. I’d also like to have Bruce Springsteen and Bob total invasion of the wrong turf? to find out what our customers wanted, our role in the community Dylan playing together, maybe with Shaun Ryder and Bez dancing pandapad and what direction we wanted to take the venue. in the background. Ben: Bez is actually going to be playing here for Saggy Pants on 25 On one hand it’s an invasion into a realm where they What have been the highlights in that time? May with Domino Bones. There’ll be a load of Black Grape, Happy probably aren’t that welcome. On another hand it’s Ben: A major highlight was Pama International. The crowd was Mondays and Stone Roses former players appearing too. good that political groups are making the effort to bouncing up and down like in 8mile and it was just unreal. But Gaz: For me my favourite gigs are local bands playing with go out and interact with their minions, rather than then earlier this year the Funk Collective were ace and last week local people. Just everyday people trying to make something of sitting back and waiting for them. On a completely Bison were mental again! A lot of our nights are highlights. themselves. different hand, I reckon it’ll be good to see whose Ben: Oh great, you make us look like glory supporters going for the Myspace is hacked first and all their pictures What are the plans to celebrate the Maze’s birthday? big names. You Nottingham arse-licker! replaced by big hairy fannies. Ben: There are quite a few. We’re doing ten days to celebrate Ryan: Yeah sorry I meant to say that my ideal gig would be Shrimp MrGeesBigCircus the ten years since it was invented on 9 May 1997. On the actual Tractor, from Mansfield. I love those guys, they’re great! birthday we’re having a jam night with loads of local bands coming I can really imagine David Cameron getting the down for a big free party. So who are the best up-and-coming Notts bands that we should Tories on this. When he picks his shadow cabinet Gaz: Pama International are coming back on the Saturday and Nick check out? members, they’ll send him ‘thanks for the add’ Harper is here on the Sunday. Last time he played Ben and I had our Ben: Model Morning. I’m looking after those boys. They’ve got a messages. mouths to the floor in awe at his playing! load of talent and done their time in other big bands like Echoboy. Chief Kegwin Ryan: They’re a very special band. Most shoegaze bands are laid What are your favourite beverages you serve? back, but they put the real rock n roll balls into it. I like Idiot Joy too. I don’t mind politicians having a Myspace etc, but Ben: The ethanol, under the bar! Haha. No it’s the real ales for me. Ben: You’ve got great stalwarts of the scene like Grain and Old there’s no way it could be taken as a serious format Gaz: I’m always on the Veltins. Basford. Good old blues and rock’n’roll, from big tall men. The for MPs to have a proper debate with the general Ryan: I like my real ales but mainly I’m a wine man. I like a red wine Hellset Orchestra too, they’ve just got that something extra. public. It’s just another one of those pleas to the after work, to sit and contemplate. Gaz: I like Lyra, who are playing here next month and Black Vinyl younger generation, like getting somebody to leak Ben: We’ve got some real ales from Castle Rock. Your classic Heart. I love Yes My Ninjas! just because they’re weird and crazy that you smoked marijuana at university. Harvester Pale and the wildlife range which changes every month and you’ll never see anything like them. Stodge which supports the Wildlife Trust. We’ve got Summer Lightning on at the moment which is a nice 5% - have that! What are the plans for the rest of 2007 and beyond? Anyone who puts anything on Myspace or Facebook Gaz: We also do a pretty good bottled range as well, Chimay, Duval, Ben: We want to make this place bigger. I’ve got a three year or any of those sites is not to be trusted. There is other Belgian beers... business plan so we’re nearly half way through. It’s going to plan. something very very wrong with them. Yes that Ryan: We want this to be a melting pot. We want musicians to includes all of you people. The ‘Three Lions’ Beer that we brought down during the World come here and for collaborations to evolve from that and to be the theonelikethe Cup went down pretty well here… epicentre of promoting musical talent in Nottingham. Ben: It smashed it! There was none of it left. We went through twelve firkins and had to order more in every time. It had a nice high ABV and went down a storm! Ryan: You buggers. Did you realise how many times people asked The Maze celebrates it’s birthday from 9-19 May. for ‘three LeftLions’ at the bar, if you ever name a beer again don’t themazerocks.com put a number in the name!

34 www.leftlion.co.uk/issue16 With: The Elementz Karizma DJ Squigley

Leftlion Ad 125mm x 80mm 17/3/07 15:34 Page 1

THE MAZE MANSFIELD RD NOTTINGHAM 11pm - 3.30am > £5 before midnight / £6 after Saturday 7th April FRAN GREEN KEEP ON MAGAZINE / MIDNIGHT CANDYMEN

Saturday 5th May RESIDENTS NIGHT 3rd birthday party with NICK SHAW & ED COTTON

SNUG HOUNDSGATE NOTTINGHAM Bank Holiday Sunday 8th April BASEMENT BOOGALOO Vs. SOULBUGGIN’ with NICK SHAW, MARK A, WRIGHTY & BEANE

THE NAGS HEAD MANSFIELD RD NOTTINGHAM Bank Holiday Sunday 27th May BACKYARD BOOGALOO with Greg Wilson

Info: 0789 658 7013 / www.face-the-music.co.uk listings... music / weeklies / comedy /exhibitions / theatre

Sunday 01/04 Thursday 05/04 Saturday 07/04 Tuesday 10/04 Friday 13/04

Deep Sound Channel Recommended Daily Allowance Farmyard Loves Music Acoustic Open Mic LeftLion Extravaganza Venue: Golden Fleece Venue: Golden Fleece Venue: Social Venue: Running Horse Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: Free Price: Free Price: £5 Price: Free Price: £6 adv £7 door Times: 8.30pm Times: 8.30pm - 12am Times: 7.30pm - 10.30pm Times: 8.30pm - 12am Times: 9pm - 3am Mint Ive, Rotating Leslie Old Basford, The Smears, We Trash-Stock UK Tour 2007 My Psychoanalyst and Team Hughes. Acoustic Tuesdays Open Mic Show Up On Radar, Spotlight Kid Venue: Junktion 7 Venue: Junktion 7 Venue: Malt Cross (members of Bent and Six by Price: £4 Price: £3 / £4 (NUS) Price: Free Seven), The Elementz, Karizma and Times: 7.30pm - 11.30pm Times: 8.30pm Doors Venue: Rock City DJ Squigley. Red Room by Audio Patchwork Grace, Disarm, Plus Lets Bitter Cinema and Price: £10 adv 36 Crazyfists Massage. Interviews on P26 / 27. Zen Motel and Snakeskin. Nephu Huzzband. Times: 7pm Venue: Rock City Price: £14.50 Sharron Kraus Outlandish The Beat Amusement Parks On Fire Times: 7.30pm Venue: Lee Rosy’s Tea Shop Venue: Rescue Rooms Venue: Rescue Rooms Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: £5 Price: £14.50 adv Price: £17.25 adv Price: £7 adv Born Ruffians Times: 8:30pm doors Times: 7.30pm Times: 7.30pm Times: 7pm Venue: Social Plus Mc Watt and Poppy Seed. Price: £5.15 The Green Bus Presents... Newton Faulkner Liars Club Times: 8pm Northern Quarter Venue: Social Venue: Social Venue: Stealth Venue: Running Horse Price: £4 Price: £9.55 adv Price: Free b4 10.15pm / £5 Price: £3 Times: 8pm Times: 8pm Times: 10.30pm - 5am Wednesday 11/04 Times: 8.30pm – 12am

Monkeys of The High Seas and Dead Disco. DJ’s Duke Dumont, Blues Jam Session Danny and The Deadbeatz. Deathstars Casper C, Ricky Haley and D’Lex. Lobotomy Friday 13th Special Venue: Running Horse Venue: Rock City Style: Electronica Price: Free Songwriters Sunday Price: £15.60 adv Neon Heights Venue: BluePrint Times: 8.30pm - 12am Venue: Maze Times: 7pm Venue: Loft Price: £7

Price: £4 Price: Free Times: 9pm - late Fly on The Wall Presents Times: 8pm The Moth Lantern Simon White and Cal Gibson. Venue: Junktion 7 Andy Whittle, Becky Syson, Venue: Loft Yourcodenameis:Milo Price: £3 / £4 Sally Murray and Lance Syson. Price: Free Basement Boogaloo Venue: Rock City Times: 8.30pm - 12am Times: 8pm Venue: Golden Fleece Price: £8 adv Blood Divided, Orakai, Ark Eye Price: Free Times: 7pm and Farewell Fall. Monday 02/04 Times: 8.30pm

Friday 06/04 Snoop Dogg and P.Diddy Lagwagon LeftLion Presents Saturday 14/04 Venue: Nottingham Arena The Phonics Venue: Rock City Venue: Orange Tree Price: £32.50 +bf Venue: Running Horse Price: £13.95 The Cool Off Price: Free Price: £3 Times: 7.30pm Venue: Golden Fleece Times: 8.30pm - 12am Monday Madness! Times: 8.30pm - 12am Price: Free You Slut! Dead City Presidents Venue: Maze The Moths Times: 9pm and Stiff Kittens DJ’s. Price: Free Tranz Global Venue: Social

Times: 8pm Style: World Music Price: £6 Hidden Sessions The Walkaways and Venue: Golden Fleece Sunday 08/04 Times: 7pm Style: Tech / Prog House, Made of Leaves. Price: Free Venue: Flo Times: 8pm – 12am Improvised World Music Collective Price: £4 / £5 (NUS) Mooch and DJ I2I. Venue: Golden Fleece Thursday 12/04 Times: 10pm til 4am

Tuesday 03/04 Price: Free JJ Soundclash, John Gilbert, Stefan Once in a Lifetime Rewind Tour Satnam’s Tash Times: 8pm Flannery and Paul Weaversmith. Acoustic Open Mic Night Venue: Nottingham Arena Venue: Maze Venue: Running Horse Price: £37.50 +bf Price: £3 / £4 Audio Montage GB Promotions Presents Price: Free David , David Cassidy, Times: 9:30pm – late Venue: Maze Venue: Junktion 7 Times: 8.30pm - 12.m The Osmonds and Showaddywaddy. Plus The Dirty Cherubs and Firebrand. Price: £5 Price: £10 adv Hosted by Steve Pinnock. Times: 2pm - 12am Times: 9pm - 2am Chris Hull and The Instant Band Spectrum Little Whores on The Prairie, Basso The Business, Resistance77 Farmyard Acoustic Tuesdays Venue: Golden Fleece Style: Breaks, Electronica Loco, Ramonastone, Gods Chosen and Riot Squad. Venue: Malt Cross Price: Free Venue: Stealth Dealers, Copter, Sidearm, Deny Price: Free Times: 8.30pm Price: £8 adv (NUS) The Accident, Hellset Orchestra, CULT Times: 8pm - 12am Times: 10pm – 4am YouNoGoDie, Spankathon, Style: House, Funk, Disco Kingsize Operator, Arias Ashes DeltaSound DJ Hyper, Screwface, Pete Jordan, The Big Bang, Mexican Wrestling, Venue: Maze and Andy Whittle. Venue: Moog Freeman, B-Boy J and Dave Boultbee. Love Ends Disaster, Left of The Price: £5 Price: Free Dealer and The Dirty Backbeats. Times: 10pm – 2am Jenny Wilson Times: Starts 8.30pm The Butterflies of Love Andre Bonsor, Mike Greenwell, Venue: Social With The Deltarays and more tbc. Venue: Social The Blackout Lawrence Graham and Ligre. Price: £6.25 adv Price: £7 adv Venue: Rock City Times: 8pm Word of Mouth Times: 7pm Price: £7.35 Puressence Venue: Muse Times: 7pm Venue: Social Riff Raff Price: £3 Monkey Swallows The Universe Price: £11.75 Venue: Muse Times: 9pm Venue: Rescue Rooms Nottingham All Stars Easter Party Times: 7pm Price: £1 iLL Citizen, Emcee Killa, Karizma, Price: £4 adv Style: Hiphop, Funk, Deep House Times: 9pm Lady Paradox, Jay Thomas and Times: 8pm Venue: Moog Amon Amarth Saint Anthony. Price: Free / £2 Venue: Rock City

Sweet Soul Music Times: 2pm - 2am Price: £15 adv Stuck In Second Venue: Royal Centre Saturday 07/04 Rick Donohue, Sophie Toes, Times: 7pm Venue: Running Horse Price: £17 - £21 Dave Boultbee, Ed Challenged, Wigfleggs Acoustic singer songwriters from Times: 7.30pm Alex Traska, Fran Green, Peej, Herman Dune Style: , Electronica, Nottingham. Rick and Louie, James Small, Venue: Rescue Rooms Venue: Muse Saggy Pants Presents Daddio, Beane, Mike Greenwell, Price: £8 Price: 99p Radar Venue: Maze Ally Reilly and Red Rack’em. Times: 7pm Times: 10pm - 4am Venue: Maze Price: £3 Tray Electric live, Fresh Out of Price: £3.50 / £4.50 (NUS) Times: 8pm Soulbuggin Vs. Basement Boogaloo Liars Club Death sound system, Spam Chop Times: 8pm doors Kazooee and The Bets. Style: Disco, Soul, Funk Venue: Stealth vs The Izatron live, Kuiper Belt Plus We Show Up On Radar Venue: Snug Price: Free b4 10.15pm / £5 and Bashy Flash. and Yonioshi. Price: £4 Times: 10.30pm - 5am Wednesday 04/04 Times: 11pm - 3am The Al Brown Band Tina Dico Mark A, Nick Shaw, Wrighty and Beane. Lionel Richie Style: Blues, Rock, Jazz Venue: Social Sunday 15/04 Venue: Nottingham Arena Venue: Running Horse Price: £10 adv Back To The Future Price: £35 / £50 +bf Price: £3 Times: 8pm Shitdisco Venue: Stealth Times: 8.30pm - 12am Venue: Social Price: £6 adv Blues Jam Session Clutch Price: £8 Times: 10pm Venue: Running Horse Basement Boogaloo Venue: Rock City Times: 7pm Ben Annand, Subterfuge, Sam Price: Free Style: Soul, Disco, Funk Price: £14.50 adv Phillips and Mark Pearson. Times: 8.30pm - 12am Venue: Maze Times: 7pm All Day Punk Party

With Colin Staples. Price: £5 before 12 / £6 after Venue: Rock City Times: 10pm - 3.30am Monday 09/04 Price: £8 Saggy Pants Presents Hugh Herrera Friday 13/04 Times: 1pm

Venue: Junktion 7 Drowning Pool / Ill Nino Certified, Hordes Of Satan, Badaxe, Dynamics Price: £4 Venue: Rock City S_Punk_7, Sneinton Elvis and Sick Times: 8.30pm - 2am Venue: Golden Fleece Price: £16 adv Boy Federation. With Weeble, The Guilty Pleasures Price: Free Detonate Presents Times: 7pm and Pax. Times: 9pm Style: DnB With support from Panic Cell. Horse

Venue: Social Venue: Maze Kate Nash Cantaloop Price: £6 Priestbird Price: £12 adv Venue: Social Venue: Muse Times: 11pm - 3am Venue: Social Times: 7.30pm Price: £6.25 adv Price: £3 Klute, SKC, Transit Mafia, DJ Price: £6 adv Times: 7pm Times: 9pm Connexion, Ruthless and P-Fine. Times: 8pm

listings... music / weeklies / comedy /exhibitions / theatre

Sunday 01/04 Thursday 05/04 Saturday 07/04 Tuesday 10/04 Friday 13/04 Monday 16/04 Friday 20/04 Sunday 22/04 Friday 27/04 Saturday 28/04

Deep Sound Channel Recommended Daily Allowance Farmyard Loves Music Acoustic Open Mic LeftLion Extravaganza Farmyard Fresh Meat Sonic Dirt Presents Firewind The Right Friends The Hollies Venue: Golden Fleece Venue: Golden Fleece Venue: Social Venue: Running Horse Venue: Rescue Rooms Venue: Social Venue: Junktion 7 Venue: Rock City Venue: Running Horse Venue: Royal Centre Price: Free Price: Free Price: £5 Price: Free Price: £6 adv £7 door Price: £2 Price: £5 Price: £7 adv Price: £3 Price: £17 / £21 Times: 8.30pm Times: 8.30pm - 12am Times: 7.30pm - 10.30pm Times: 8.30pm - 12am Times: 9pm - 3am Times: 8pm - late Times: 9pm - 2am Times: 7.30pm Times: 8.30pm – 12am Times: 7.30pm Mint Ive, Rotating Leslie Old Basford, The Smears, We The Crooks, Alice Rock and Noon. The Sneinton Stooges, The Hip Trash-Stock UK Tour 2007 My Psychoanalyst and Team Hughes. Acoustic Tuesdays Open Mic Show Up On Radar, Spotlight Kid Priests, The Grease Monkeys Theatre of Hate Hot Renault Traffic Club Rautio Trio Venue: Junktion 7 Venue: Junktion 7 Venue: Malt Cross (members of Bent and Six by and Ferriday Fireballs. Venue: Rescue Rooms Venue: Junktion 7 Venue: Lakeside Price: £4 Price: £3 / £4 (NUS) Bring Me The Horizon Price: Free Seven), The Elementz, Karizma and Tuesday 17/04 Price: £17 adv Price: £4 adv Price: £12

Times: 7.30pm - 11.30pm Times: 8.30pm Doors Venue: Rock City DJ Squigley. Red Room by Audio TheCentrifuge @ KF Times: 7.30pm Times: 8pm - 2am Times: 7.30pm Trivium Patchwork Grace, Disarm, Plus Lets Bitter Cinema and Price: £10 adv 36 Crazyfists Massage. Interviews on P26 / 27. Venue: BluePrint Fonda500, The Priory, Venue: Rock City Zen Motel and Snakeskin. Nephu Huzzband. Times: 7pm Venue: Rock City Price: £5 (NUS) The Pipettes The Burt Bacharak Fight Club Nottingham Punk CLub Price: £17 adv Price: £14.50 Sharron Kraus Times: 10pm – 2am Venue: NTU Union and The Auxiliaries. Venue: Maze Times: 7.30pm Outlandish The Beat Amusement Parks On Fire Times: 7.30pm Venue: Lee Rosy’s Tea Shop Missaw, Dazzle, NeuTek and friends. Price: £13 adv Price: £5 (NUS)

Venue: Rescue Rooms Venue: Rescue Rooms Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: £5 Times: 8pm Miles Hunt and Erica Nockalls Times: 9pm Danny and Dusty Price: £14.50 adv Price: £17.25 adv Price: £7 adv Born Ruffians Times: 8:30pm doors Audiophile Venue: Social Alright The Captain, Goldblade, Venue: Rescue Rooms Times: 7.30pm Times: 7.30pm Times: 7pm Venue: Social Plus Mc Watt and Poppy Seed. Style: Reggae, Deep House, Pop Levi Price: £11 adv 3CR, Wonk Unit and The Skagz. Price: £17 adv Price: £5.15 Venue: Moog Venue: Social Times: 7pm Times: 7pm The Green Bus Presents... Newton Faulkner Liars Club Times: 8pm Northern Quarter Times: 8pm - 2am Price: £7 adv

Venue: Social Venue: Social Venue: Stealth Venue: Running Horse Max Cooper, King Furious, Matt Times: 8pm Rock and Roll Fantasy Sunday 29/04 Fields Price: £4 Price: £9.55 adv Price: Free b4 10.15pm / £5 Price: £3 Hinton and DJ Weiss. Venue: Rock City Venue: Social Switches Times: 8pm Times: 8pm Times: 10.30pm - 5am Wednesday 11/04 Times: 8.30pm – 12am Price: £15 adv Price: £9 adv Venue: Rescue Rooms Monkeys of The High Seas and Dead Disco. DJ’s Duke Dumont, Monday 23/04 Times: 7.30pm Blues Jam Session Times: 8pm Product - 2nd Birthday Price: £8 adv Danny and The Deadbeatz. Deathstars Casper C, Ricky Haley and D’Lex. Lobotomy Friday 13th Special Venue: Running Horse Venue: Stealth Breed 77 Times: 7.30pm Venue: Rock City Style: Electronica Muse Live Price: Free Leftlion Unplugged Price: £11 adv Venue: Rock City Songwriters Sunday Price: £15.60 adv Neon Heights Venue: BluePrint Venue: Muse Times: 8.30pm - 12am Venue: Malt Cross Times: 10pm Price: £10 adv Joe Ely Venue: Maze Times: 7pm Venue: Loft Price: £7 Price: £2 Price: Free James Zabiela, Nic Fanciulli, Times: 7.30pm Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: £4 Price: Free Times: 9pm - late Times: 9pm Fly on The Wall Presents Times: 8pm - 11am Rez, Makai and MR 38. Price: £17 adv Times: 8pm The Moth Lantern Simon White and Cal Gibson. The Deltarays and Lois. Venue: Junktion 7 Black Vinyl Heart, John Hull and Bloodclot Terrorism Times: 7.30pm Andy Whittle, Becky Syson, Venue: Loft Yourcodenameis:Milo Price: £3 / £4 The Instant Band and Daisy B. Cold War Kids Venue: Maze Sally Murray and Lance Syson. Price: Free Basement Boogaloo Venue: Rock City Dollop Times: 8.30pm - 12am Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: £3 / £5 (NUS) Times: 8pm Venue: Golden Fleece Price: £8 adv Venue: Social Blood Divided, Orakai, Ark Eye Price: £9 adv Times: 8.30pm Tuesday 01/05 Price: Free Times: 7pm Man Like Me live, Bigger Than Jesus and Farewell Fall. Wednesday 18/04 Times: 7.30pm The Engines of Armageddon, Monday 02/04 Times: 8.30pm and Dollop DJ. Bobby Conn Hordes of Satan, Hand of the Friday 06/04 Blues Jam Session Venue: Social Snoop Dogg and P.Diddy Lagwagon Neils Children Daedra, Hailing from Wales LeftLion Presents Saturday 14/04 Venue: Running Horse Supernight Price: £9 adv Venue: Nottingham Arena The Phonics Venue: Rock City Venue: Social and Rust Inhaler. Venue: Orange Tree Price: Free Venue: Bunkers Hill Inn Times: 8pm Price: £32.50 +bf Venue: Running Horse Price: £13.95 The Cool Off Price: £7 adv Price: Free Times: 8.30pm - 12am Price: £3 Price: £3 Times: 7.30pm Venue: Golden Fleece Times: 7pm Times: 8.30pm - 12am Times: 8.30pm - 12am Maria McKee Monday Madness! Times: 8.30pm - 12am Price: Free Tuesday 24/04 You Slut! Dead City Presidents Derby vs Leicester vs Nottingham Venue: Rescue Rooms Venue: Maze The Moths Times: 9pm Farmyard Records and Stiff Kittens DJ’s. Venue: Junktion 7 Deep Purple Royal Rumble! Price: £16 adv Price: Free Tranz Global Venue: Social Venue: Maze Price: £5 / £6 Venue: Nottingham Arena Times: 7.30pm Times: 8pm Style: World Music Price: £6 Hidden Sessions Price: £5 Times: 8.30pm - 12pm Price: £31.50 + bf. Saggy Pants Presents The Walkaways and Venue: Golden Fleece Times: 7pm Style: Tech / Prog House, Times: 9.30pm Sunday 08/04 Plus Pickled Dick, Fat Lady Singh Venue: Maze 32 Knotts Made of Leaves. Price: Free Venue: Flo The Bacharak Fight Club, Crimson and Red: The Resistance. Acoustic Tuesdays Open Mic Price: £4 (NUS) Venue: Maze Times: 8pm – 12am Improvised World Music Collective Price: £4 / £5 (NUS) Roadmap, Lyra and Guerrilla Radio. Venue: Malt Cross Times: 9pm Price: £5 / £6 Mooch and DJ I2I. Venue: Golden Fleece Thursday 12/04 Times: 10pm til 4am Seasick Steve Price: Free Kingclaw, Fight Fire With Water, Times: 8.30pm Tuesday 03/04 Price: Free JJ Soundclash, John Gilbert, Stefan Once in a Lifetime Rewind Tour Venue: Rescue Rooms Saturday 21/04 Times: 8pm Basso Loco and Alright The Captain. Plus Metal Gear Solid Madonnas Satnam’s Tash Times: 8pm Flannery and Paul Weaversmith. Acoustic Open Mic Night Venue: Nottingham Arena Price: £11 adv and Little Explorer. Venue: Maze Venue: Running Horse Price: £37.50 +bf Times: 7.30pm Drowned in Sound The Maccabees Price: £3 / £4 Audio Montage GB Promotions Presents Price: Free David Essex, David Cassidy, Venue: Junktion 7 Venue: Rescue Rooms Saturday 28/04 Times: 9:30pm – late Venue: Maze Venue: Junktion 7 Times: 8.30pm - 12.m The Osmonds and Showaddywaddy. Opus Price: £6 adv Price: £9 adv Wednesday 02/05 Plus The Dirty Cherubs and Firebrand. Price: £5 Price: £10 adv Ronnie Groove Lounge Hosted by Steve Pinnock. Venue: Muse Times: 8pm - 2am Times: 7.30pm Times: 2pm - 12am Times: 9pm - 2am Style: Sixties, Mod The Jai-Alai Savant Chris Hull and The Instant Band Price: Free Komakino, Ox.Eagle.Lion.Man, Spectrum Little Whores on The Prairie, Basso The Business, Resistance77 Venue: Grosvenor Venue: Rescue Rooms Farmyard Acoustic Tuesdays Venue: Golden Fleece Times: 8pm - 1am Fortyfives and Stuart Bruce. Riff Raff Style: Breaks, Electronica Loco, Ramonastone, Gods Chosen and Riot Squad. Price: £3 Price: £6 adv Venue: Malt Cross Price: Free Venue: Muse Venue: Stealth Dealers, Copter, Sidearm, Deny Times: 8pm-1am Times: 7.30pm Price: Free Times: 8.30pm Nuru Kane and Bayefall Gnawa Hayseed Dixie Price: £1 Price: £8 adv (NUS) The Accident, Hellset Orchestra, CULT Times: 8pm - 12am Venue: Lakeside Venue: Rock City Times: 9pm Times: 10pm – 4am YouNoGoDie, Spankathon, Style: House, Funk, Disco Wholesome Fish Aly Bain and Phil Cunningham Kingsize Operator, Arias Ashes DeltaSound Price: £12 Price: £17.25 adv DJ Hyper, Screwface, Pete Jordan, The Big Bang, Mexican Wrestling, Venue: Maze Venue: Running Horse Venue: Lakeside and Andy Whittle. Venue: Moog Times: 8pm Times: 7pm Freeman, B-Boy J and Dave Boultbee. Love Ends Disaster, Left of The Price: £5 Price: £3 Price: £12 Price: Free Wednesday 25/04 Dealer and The Dirty Backbeats. Times: 10pm – 2am Times: 8.30pm - 12am Times: 8pm Jenny Wilson Times: Starts 8.30pm Highness Sound System The Butterflies of Love Andre Bonsor, Mike Greenwell, Low Venue: Social With The Deltarays and more tbc. Thursday 19/04 Venue: Social Venue: Social The Blackout Lawrence Graham and Ligre. Venue: Rescue Rooms Firefly Saggy Pants Presents Price: £6.25 adv Price: £5 Price: £7 adv Venue: Rock City Flight Scene Price: £17 adv Style: Techno Venue: Maze Times: 8pm Word of Mouth Times: 11pm - 4am Times: 7pm Price: £7.35 Puressence Venue: Golden Fleece Times: 7.30pm Venue: Marcus Garvey Ballroom Price: £3 Venue: Muse Times: 7pm Venue: Social Price: Free Price: £13 adv Times: 8.30pm Riff Raff Price: £3 Tuff Monkey Swallows The Universe Price: £11.75 Times: 8.30pm T-Model Ford Times: 10pm - 6am John Coates and Ying. Venue: Muse Times: 9pm Venue: Rock City Venue: Rescue Rooms Nottingham All Stars Easter Party Times: 7pm Venue: Social Ivan Smagghe, Paco Osuna, Price: £1 iLL Citizen, Emcee Killa, Karizma, Price: £15 adv Price: £4 adv Style: Hiphop, Funk, Deep House AWD Promotions Presents Price: £11 adv Jeet and More TBC. Times: 9pm Lady Paradox, Jay Thomas and Times: 6pm Thursday 03/05 Times: 8pm Venue: Moog Amon Amarth Venue: Junktion 7 Times: 7pm Saint Anthony. With support from Pretty Boy Floyd Price: Free / £2 Venue: Rock City Price: £4 adv Farmyard loves music and Shameless. Sam Isaac and Luke Leighfield Sweet Soul Music Times: 2pm - 2am Price: £15 adv Times: 8pm - 12am Steve Tilston Venue: Malt Cross Stuck In Second Venue: Junktion 7 Venue: Royal Centre Saturday 07/04 Rick Donohue, Sophie Toes, Times: 7pm Kharma 45, Stop Eject and Electric Mouth. Venue: Maze Buen Chico (TBC), Kingsize Venue: Running Horse Liars Club Times: 8.30pm - 12am Price: £17 - £21 Dave Boultbee, Ed Challenged, Price: £8 adv (NUS) Operator and Team Hughes. Wigfleggs Acoustic singer songwriters from Venue: Stealth Times: 7.30pm Alex Traska, Fran Green, Peej, Herman Dune Wishbone Ash Times: 7.30pm Style: Dubstep, Electronica, Nottingham. Price: Free b4 10.15pm / £5 Muzyka Presents Rick and Louie, James Small, Venue: Rescue Rooms Venue: Rescue Rooms Thea Gilmore Venue: Muse Times: 10.30pm - 5am Venue: Rock City Saggy Pants Presents Daddio, Beane, Mike Greenwell, Price: £8 Price: £17 adv Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: 99p Radar Live: Thunderbirds Are Now and Thursday 26/04 Price: £8 adv Venue: Maze Ally Reilly and Red Rack’em. Times: 7pm Times: 7.30pm Price: £13 adv Times: 10pm - 4am Venue: Maze Best Fwends. DJ’s: Residents and Times: 6.30pm Price: £3 Times: 7pm Tray Electric live, Fresh Out of Price: £3.50 / £4.50 (NUS) guests. Einsturzende Neubauten I-Def-I, Forever Never, Times: 8pm Soulbuggin Vs. Basement Boogaloo Liars Club Bayside and Moneen Death sound system, Spam Chop Times: 8pm doors Venue: Rock City Spirytus and Speed Theory. Kazooee and The Bets. Style: Disco, Soul, Funk Venue: Stealth Venue: Rock City Faster Pussycat vs The Izatron live, Kuiper Belt Plus We Show Up On Radar Inconcievables Functarries Price: £17 adv Venue: Snug Price: Free b4 10.15pm / £5 Price: £10 adv Venue: Rock City and Bashy Flash. and Yonioshi. Venue: Loft Times: 7pm Money Mark Price: £4 Times: 10.30pm - 5am Times: 7.30pm Price: £15 adv Wednesday 04/04 Price: Free Venue: Social Times: 11pm - 3am Times: 6pm The Al Brown Band Tina Dico Plus Jonah Mindless Self Indulgence Price: £11 adv Mark A, Nick Shaw, Wrighty and Beane. Pandit Kumar Shashwat Plus Bullet Boys, Enuff Z’Nuff Lionel Richie Style: Blues, Rock, Jazz Venue: Social Venue: Rock City Times: 7pm Sunday 15/04 Venue: Lakeside and Gypsy Pistoleros. Venue: Nottingham Arena Venue: Running Horse Price: £10 adv Hermann Petzlinger’s Music Book Price: £7 adv Back To The Future Price: £12 Price: £35 / £50 +bf Price: £3 Times: 8pm Shitdisco Venue: Lakeside Times: 7.30pm Orlando Consort and Viva Voce Venue: Stealth Times: 7.30pm Times: 8.30pm - 12am Venue: Social Price: £10 Venue: Lakeside Price: £6 adv Blues Jam Session Clutch Price: £8 Times: 7.30pm Venue: Rock City Price: £12 Times: 10pm Venue: Running Horse Basement Boogaloo Venue: Rock City Times: 7pm Friday 20/04 Price: £17 adv Times: 7.30pm Ben Annand, Subterfuge, Sam Price: Free Style: Soul, Disco, Funk Price: £14.50 adv Times: 7pm Times: 8.30pm - 12am Phillips and Mark Pearson. Sunday 22/04 Venue: Maze Times: 7pm All Day Punk Party Cult Propaganda With Colin Staples. Venue: Golden Fleece Mumm-Ra Liars Club Friday 04/05 Price: £5 before 12 / £6 after Venue: Rock City Styles P Price: Free Venue: Rescue Rooms Venue: Stealth Times: 10pm - 3.30am Monday 09/04 Price: £8 Venue: Stealth Anti Nowhere League Saggy Pants Presents Hugh Herrera Friday 13/04 Times: 1pm Times: 8.30 - 12am Price: £8 adv Price: Free b4 10.15pm / £5 Price: £10 + bf Venue: Junktion 7 Venue: Junktion 7 Drowning Pool / Ill Nino Certified, Hordes Of Satan, Badaxe, Times: 7.30pm Times: 10.30pm - 5am Dynamics Times: 8pm - 12am Price: £10 / £12 Price: £4 Venue: Rock City S_Punk_7, Sneinton Elvis and Sick Ambush Muse Venue: Golden Fleece Cappo, Mista Jam, DJ Squigley and Times: 9pm - 2am Times: 8.30pm - 2am Price: £16 adv Boy Federation. Venue: Muse Help She Can’t Swim Price: Free Furious P four deck set, Shifty Spirit Plus Paul Carter. With Weeble, The Guilty Pleasures Times: 7pm Price: Free b4 11 / £2 after Venue: Social Detonate Presents Times: 9pm and Dougie Houser. and Pax. With support from Panic Cell. Horse 16 DJs, 16 genres, four hours. Price: £7 adv Style: DnB Spectrum Venue: Maze Times: 8pm Venue: Social Cantaloop Porcupine Tree Style: Breaks Kate Nash Priestbird Price: £12 adv Charlotte Cottam Price: £6 Venue: Muse Venue: Rock City Charlie with percussion Venue: Stealth Venue: Social Venue: Social Times: 7.30pm Venue: Running Horse Allegri String Quartet Times: 11pm - 3am Price: £3 Price: £18.35 adv Venue: Loft Price: £8 adv (NUS) Price: £6.25 adv Price: £6 adv Price: £3 Venue: Lakeside Klute, SKC, Transit Mafia, DJ Times: 9pm Times: 7.30pm Times: 10pm – 4am Times: 7pm Times: 8.30pm - 12am Price: £12 Price: Free Connexion, Ruthless and P-Fine. Times: 8pm Plump DJ’s and more TBC. Times: 7.30pm

listings... music / weeklies / comedy /exhibitions / theatre

Friday 04/05 Monday 07/05 Saturday 12/05 Friday 18/05 Friday 25/05

The Sunshine Underground Monday Madness! Riot Promotions Presents Lionel Richie Hot Renault Traffic Club Venue: NTU Union Venue: Maze Venue: Junktion 7 Venue: Nottingham Arena Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £11.75 adv Price: Free Price: £6 / £8 Price: £35 / £50 +bf Price: £4 Times: 8pm Times: 8pm Times: 9pm - 2am Times: 8pm - 2am With Datarock. Botnik, Girlfixer and Dirty Rig, New Generation Riot Promotions Presents The Films. Monkeys of The High Seas! Superstars and Disarm. Venue: Junktion 7 10 O’clock Horses Price: £4 Silversun Pickups Venue: Maze Willy Mason Times: 8pm - 2am Venue: Social Tuesday 08/05 Venue: Rescue Rooms The Bishops Price: £7 adv Price: £4 Price: £10 adv Times: 7pm Times: 9pm Acoustic Tuesdays Open Mic Times: 7pm Audiophile With The Heels, Dividend Opinions, Venue: Malt Cross Style: Reggae, Electro, Techno Dollop Fulibulbus and DJ Dub’ L’ Zero Price: Free The Hidden Hand Venue: Moog Venue: Social Times: 8pm Venue: Rock City Price: Free Friendly Fires live and more TBC.

Saturday 05/05 Price: £7 adv Times: 8pm - late Ray Davies Times: 7.30pm Saggy Pants Vs The Maze! Venue: Royal Centre Basement Boogaloo Plus Stinking Lizaveta Simple Kid Venue: Maze Price: £26.50 Style: Soul, Disco, Funk and End of Level Boss. Venue: Social Domino Bones, Penny Black Times: 7.30pm Venue: Maze Price: £8.35 adv and The Right Friends.

Price: £5 / £6 Liars Club Times: 7pm The Maze’s Big Birthday Jam! Times: 10pm - 3.30am Venue: Stealth Detonate Venue: Maze With Richard Sen. Price: Free b4 10.15pm / £5 Tom McRae Venue: Stealth Price: Free Times: 10.30pm - 5am Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: £10 adv Times: 7pm Liars Club DJ’s: Does it Offend You, Yeah?, Price: £16 adv Times: 10pm - 4am Grain, Old Basford, Trickster, Deep Venue: Stealth Le Castle Vania and residents. Times: 7.30pm DJ Marky (2hrs), Foreign Beggars, Sound Channel and more. Price: Free b4 10.15pm / £5 Transit Mafia, Santero, Detail, Rust

Times: 10.30pm - 5am Pama International Farmyard Records Presents and more TBC Live: Yuksek and The Teenagers. Thursday 10/05 Venue: Maze Venue: Maze DJ’s: Data, Residents and guests. Price: £5 adv The Twang Times: 9pm Saturday 26/5 Ashley Wass, Piano Venue: NTU Union Sunday 13/05 Liars Club Venue: Lakeside Price: £10 adv The Zombies Venue: Stealth Price: £12 Times: 8pm Saturday 19/05 Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: Free b4 10.15pm / £5 Times: 7.30pm Price: £17 adv Magnum Times: 10.30pm - 5am Ephel Duath Times: 7.30pm Venue: Rock City DJ’s: Nesakyk Mamai LeftLion Presents Venue: Rock City Price: £18 adv and Your Mum / My Mum. Venue: Orange Tree Price: £8 adv Cosmic American presents Times: 7pm Price: Free Times: 7.30pm Venue: Maze Times: 8.30pm - 12am Price: £10 adv Tuung Sunday 27/05 Model Morning, Lois and Guarneri Trio Prague Times: 7pm Venue: Rescue Rooms Stiff Kittens DJ’s. Venue: Lakeside Super Sundays Nick Harper Price: £9 adv Price: £12 Venue: Malt Cross Times: 7pm Tightrope Times: 7.30pm Price: Free Venue: Maze Times: 7pm Monday 14/05 Mugenkyo Taiko Drummers Times: 2pm - 12am An Evening With’ Eliza Gilkyson Venue: Royal Centre All day charity event including Venue: Maze Funeral For A Friend Price: £11 - £15 Martino Muncheo and Simmone, Price: £12 adv Venue: Rock City Venue: Rock City Times: 7.30pm Nathan McGbhann, Capoera, Times: 7.45pm Price: £8 adv Price: £22.75 adv Worriedaboutsatan, Oneeye, Times: 7.30pm Times: 1pm Nottingham Punk Club Old Basford, Deep Sound Channel See next page for full information. Venue: Maze and Pressure Drop. Friday 11/05 Cosmic American presents Broken Bones, Burn, Venue: Maze Mat Andasun Band Subvert, Destroy, Buzzkill Wigflex Price: £10 adv Venue: Maze Sunday 06/05 Style: Dubstep, Tech, Electronica and The Human Targets. Times: 7pm Times: 9.30pm Venue: Muse Super Sundays Carrie Rodriguez Trio (USA) Plus Price: £1.99 (NUS) Venue: Malt Cross Support Doug Hoekstra Monday 21/05 Times: 10pm - 4am Monday 28/05 Price: Free! Caspa, Rust and Blitzz. Times: 7pm Tuesday 15/05 Joe Jackson Thomas Denver Jonsson, Venue: Rock City Riot Promotions Presents Spaceships Are Cool and Yunioshi. Price: £17.25 adv Venue: Junktion 7 Ghosts Times: 7.30pm Price: £6 / £8 Venue: Social Audiophile Price: £7 adv Times: 9pm - 2am John Martyn - Solid Air Tour Style: Reggae, Electro, Techno Times: 8pm NFD (Ex Fields of The Nephilim), Venue: Royal Centre Venue: Moog Rhombus and Nightmoves. Price: £24.50 Price: Free Leftlion Unplugged Massage in The Park Times: 2pm - 2am Times: 7.30pm Rat and Survival Venue: Malt Cross Venue: Arboretum Park Bank Holiday BBQ Special, Jean Bike Show Price: Free Price: Free Jacques Smoothie, Midnight Venue: MFN Club Times: 8pm - 11am Tuesday 22/5 Times: All day Candymen, Little Jo Beep, Price: £10 Liam Bailey and the Soul Parade, There’s a carnival theme. Think pin Love To DJ, Mood Gremlin, Austin Francis Connection, Will Acoustic Tuesdays Open Mic the tail on the donkey, mice races, Fat Chris, Mr Ed and Supine. Jeffery and Tim McDonald. Venue: Malt Cross helta skelta’s, organised sports day Price: Free events, egg and spoon and sack Kosheen Times: 8pm races... Venue: NTU Union Wednesday 16/05 Teitur Price: £13.95 adv Isis There will also be a farmers Venue: Social Saxon Times: 7.30pm Venue: Rock City market, cider bar, clothing and Price: £6.25 adv Venue: Rock City Price: £11.75 adv jewellery stalls, live performance Times: 7pm Price: £18 adv Times: 7.30pm art, fire and glass walking, stick Times: 7.30pm fighting, spinning and twirling fire With support from Masterplan poi, a massage stand and a skate and Rose Tattoo. Wednesday 23/50 ramp with skate companies running competitions! Detonate - Indoor Festival Lúnasa Devil Sold His Soul

Style: DnB, Hiphop, Breaks Venue: Lakeside Venue: Junktion 7

Venue: Rock City, Rescue Price: £15 Price: £5 / £7

Rooms, Stealth Times: 8pm Times: 7.30pm 11.30pm

Times: 8pm - 6am With support from Zenith.

Detonate takes over Rock City James Harries and Kris Drever and its attached venues for their Venue: Maze Dustin’s Bar Mitvah second May bank holiday indoor Price: £8 adv Venue: Social UK Takeover 5 festival. This year bringing the Times: 7.30pm Price: £7 adv Venue: Rock City ridiculous Valve Sound System Times: 7pm with them. The line up is huge with over fifty acts confirmed across seven Price: £10 / £15 + bf arenas. Below is a summary of some of the better known names, check Thursday 17/05 Main Stage: Lethal Bizzle, the full lineup on detonate1.co.uk: Thursday 24/05 Klashnekoff (live band), , Sam Brown Taskforce, Kyza, Shameless, Venue: Rescue Rooms Drum and Bass (Detonate): Pendulum, Scratch Perverts, Andy C, LTJ L.Man, Chain of Command, Stig Price: £14 adv Bukem and MC Conrad, Goldie, DJ Hype, Dillinja, Teebee B2B Calyx and of the Dump and Dr Syntax, Baby Times: 7.30pm Transit Mafia. Breaks (Spectrum): Stanton Warriors, Pendulum and Pete J presents Antourage, Dynamite

Jordon. Hiphop (Camouflage): Rahzel and DJ JS-1, Supernatural, C2C, MC, Mr Ti2bs, Precha, Alex Blood Jeff Healey hosted by Karizma. Roots and Reggae (Highness Sound System): and Malik, (MD7), Wariko, Young Venue: Rock City Iration steppas and Highness selectas. Wigflex presents: Nightmares Kof, J Gold and Gully, Spit Semis Price: £24 adv on Wax, Spam Chop and The Hizatron. Dubstep (Futureproof and (Takeover 4 Battle Champion). Times: 7pm Heavyweight Rocksteady): Skream, The Bug, Digital Mystikz and Venue: Rock City Sergeant Pokes and Geoim. Dollop Presents: Digitalism, Nightmoves, Hosted by: Mista Jam and Rodney P. Price: £28.25 adv Miss Odd Kid, The Glamour Soundystem and D’Lex. DJ Room: DJ MK, Excalibah and Mr Times: 7pm Thing. Dot to Dot Festival Sunday 27/05 Rock City, Rescue Rooms, Social and Stealth should have heard of by now), the Fopp award for new music), running. How boring are festivals (MTV Base darling and one Datarock (Norwegian mash-up that do that? of the few acts worth the masterdons), Para One and steam off your piss), Blonde Surkin (the vanguard of the Who are you looking forward Redhead (huge cult band in the burgeoning French-Electro to seeing? Sigur Ros / Mercury Rev mould) movement), Dani Wind Can’t wait to see La La Lepus, and (DJ on that (Canadian New Rave sorts) and, Gallows, and Blonde Redhead. / dance-punk one). oh, loads more. Who’ve been the standout bands from previous Dot To As always, a smattering of local All of this could be yours for a Dots? bands get the opportunity to mere twenty of your English If you can remember it, you step up. Castle Donington’s Late pounds, and once again weren’t really there. Of The Pier (“Music to have demonstrates that when it asthma to”, apparently), The comes to snotty young things Where do you source the Recovery (brutally heavy alt- screaming into a microphone, bands for Dot To Dot? rockers), Nottingham more than holds its Agents, mostly. We’re getting (Synth-Pop ahoy!), and La La own. a great rep now, so it’s getting easier to get people to do it. Lepus (our very own Electronica stars in waiting) all get the We had a natter with DTD Words: Alasdair Catton Any message for LeftLion opportunity to put their synths founder Anton Lockwood on something a bit sturdier than readers? Sunday 27 May sees the return DTD is shaping up to be one of a beer crate, and all of them Pray for sunshine. I know the What’s the ethos behind Dot venues are indoors, but it’s of Dot To Dot, Nottingham’s the jewels in the crown of the are worthy of your tab-related To Dot? been sunny the last two years multi-genre five-venue all- Notts music calendar, and once attention. Loads of great new bands and and that’s made it all shiny and dayer. Rock City, The Rescue again the line-up is cow-heavy DJs for not too much money… lovely… Rooms, The Social, Stealth and and laden with quality acts who The line-up is still being fiddled one massive party…music not Nottingham Trent University are stalk the fringes of the big time. with as we go to press, but if sponsorship…check out something For up to date details, check representing from 1pm to 4am, you want us to mark your card, you wouldn’t normally…no sleep www.dottodotfestival.co.uk making it the biggest DTD ever. Headline acts include we’d point you in the direction til hometime! Oh, and we won’t Back for the third go-around, (three brothers who you really of Olympus Mons. (winners of have the same bands two years

listings... music / weeklies / comedy / exhibitions / theatre

Weeklies Sundays Tuesdays Thursdays Thursday 05/04

Fridays

Jazz at the Bell Crash Homegrown Sue Perkins Love Shack Style: Jazz Style: Indie, Alternative Venue: Deux Venue: Lakeside Style: Eighties, Nineties Venue: Bell Inn Venue: Rock City Price: Free Price: £15 Venue: Rock City Price: Free Price: £3 (NUS) Times: 7pm Times: 8pm Price: £4 / £5 Times: 12.30pm – 3am Times: 9.30pm - 2am The best of Nottingham’s talented Disappointment is Sue’s middle Times: 9.30pm - 2am Crash is Nottingham’s longest singer-songwriters. name. Her mum had preferred The Underground Sessions running indie night. Elizabeth, but was overruled by her Venue: Snug Noodle dad, who had an altogether darker Price: Free Open Mic Night Venue: The Spot view of life...

Times: 9pm - 4am Style: Acoustic Price: Free

Venue: Running Horse Friday 06/04 Salt Out To Lunch Price: Free Music Saves The Day Style: Hiphop, House, Breaks Style: Jazz Times: 8.30pm - 12am Venue: Bluu Lenny Henry: Where you from? Venue: Dogma Venue: Dogma Times: 9pm - late Venue: Playhouse Price: Free Price: Free The Horseshoe Lounge Price: £23.50 / £25 Times: 7pm - 2am Times: Afternoon Style: Country Dogma Presents Times: 8pm

Venue: Deux Style: Hiphop, Breaks Back with a new show. Expect Pop.Your_Funk Moog is Sunday Cowboy Fun! Americana, Venue: Dogma his usual mix of stand-up and Venue: Bluu Style: Relaxed, Funk bluegrass and country. Price: Varies character comedy. Price: Free Venue: Moog Times: 9pm - 2am Times: 9pm - late Price: Free Various live acts every week. Thursday 12/04 Wednesdays Times: 12pm - 12am Jazz Night Saturdays The Big Wednesday Rob and Skatz We Love Venue: Variety Club Style: Alt, Rock, Pop Venue: Grosvenor Uberism Style: Acoustic Price: Free Venue: The Cookie Club Price: £4 / £5 (NUS) Venue: Media Venue: Deux Times: 7:30pm doors Price: £2.50 (NUS) Times: 8.30pm Price: £8 / £10 Price: Free Times: 10.30pm - 2am Featuring Rob and Skatz, Matt Times: 10pm - 2am Times: 8pm Club NME Hollins, Joe Rowntree, Sheldon Style: Indie, Rock, Alternative It’s live and almost acoustic. Games Night Venue: Stealth Pellets and Darshan. With compere Eclectic open mic night. Venue: Loft Price: £2 - £4 Spiky Mike. Price: Free Times: 10pm - 2am With giant Jenga, cards, prizes Mondays and competitions. Tuesday 17/04 Singer / Songwriters Night Nottingham School of Samba Saturday Night live Style: Acoustic Style: Samba Wigflex Should I Stay or Should I Go? Venue: Deux Venue: Raffles Art Cafe Venue: Templars Style: Hiphop, DnB, Dubstep Venue: Maze Price: Free Price: Free Times: 7pm - 9pm Venue: Stone Price: £3 / £4 (NUS) Times: 7pm Times: 8.30pm - 12am Price: Free Times: 8.30pm

Rock Jam Session Times: 9pm - late Twelve acts compete. Each does Rise and Shine / Funk U Style: Rock Spam Chop playing beats, breaks Comedy two minutes, then the audience Style: Alternative, Nineties Venue: Running Horse hiphop, techie house and all sorts judges with red and cards vote to Venue: The Cookie Club Tuesday 03/04 Price: Free else. With live breakdancers, free keep them on or off. With compere Price: £5 (NUS) Times: 8.30pm - 12am N64 and visuals by Synoptics. James Sherwood. Times: 10.30pm - 3am The Comedy Cabin

Venue: Co-op Regency Rooms Motherfunker Stylus Price: £8 adv / £9 Friday 04/05 Venue: The Cookie Club Venue: Snug Times: 7.30pm Price: £1 before 11pm Price: £6 (NUS) Geoff Norcott, Mark Allen, Matt Punt and Dennis Times: 8.30pm - 12am Times: 10pm - 4am Hollins and Aaron Rice. Venue: Lakeside

Price: £15 Distortion Times: 8pm Thursday 05/04 Style: Rock, Alternative Their first live outing since the 2005 LeftLion Pub Quiz Venue: Rock City sell out tour ‘Grown Men in Public’. Venue: The Golden Fleece Price: £5 (NUS) Our weekly pub quiz continues Times: 9pm - 2.30am at the Fleece. Come down and Saturday 05/05 you could win a load of beer or a meal for your team and more The Comedy Cabin Sundays importantly have a laugh. Venue: Co-op Regency Rooms

Price: £8 / £9 - Fame Electric Banana Times: 7.30pm Venue: Royal Centre Venue: The Social Geoff Norcott, Mark Allen, Matt Price: £25 + bf Open Mic Night Price: £2 Hollins and Aaron Rice.

Venue: Golden Fleece Times: 10.30pm - 3am Price: Free Rich Hall

Melody Market Times: 8.30 - 12am Venue: Playhouse Tuesday 08/05

Style: Acoustic Come down at 8pm to secure a Price: £14.50 / £16 Should I Stay or Should I Go? Price: Free 15min slot. Times: 8pm Venue: Maze Times: 7.30pm Price: £3 / £4 (NUS)

listings... music / weeklies / comedy / exhibitions / theatre

Thursday 10/05 Saturday 07/04 Wednesday 04/04 Tuesday 01/05 Sunday 20/05

Markus Birdman plus more Parade 3: Stuff Happens Defending The Caveman Riverdance Tosca Venue: Grosvenor Venue: Angel Row Gallery Venue: Royal Centre Venue: Royal Centre Venue: Royal Centre Price: £4 / £5 (NUS) Price: Free Price: £16.50 / £18.50 Price: £17.50 - £37.50 Price: £21.50 - £31.50 Times: 8.30pm start Work by: Ayling and Conroy, Penny Times: 7.30pm Times: Various Times: 7.30pm Markus Birdman, Russell Kane and Davis, Craig Fisher, Tom Godfrey, This look at men, women and why Runs Until: 06/05 Guests. With compere Spiky Mike. S Mark Gubb, Tristan Hessing, the battle of the sexes is back.

Matthew Jamieson, David Kirshner, Defending the Caveman opened Sea Of Bones Monday 21/05

Danica Maier, Paul Matosic, Philip on Broadway in 1995 and ran until Venue: Lakeside The Unexpected Guest Tuesday 15/05 Mayer, Peter Norman, Alexander 1997 - the longest running solo Price: £12 Venue: Royal Centre Stevenson and Jason Thomson. play in Broadway history Times: 8pm Reginald D Hunter Price: £8 - £22.50 Runs Until: 12/05 Music by Nick Cave and The Bad Venue: Lakeside Times: Various Seeds, Tom Waits, Sonic Youth Price: £12 Lost in the fog on a lonely road, a Saturday 14/04 and Domenico Scarlatti. Sea of Times: 8pm stranger seeks refuge in a nearby Saturday 14/04 Bones is a dive into the collective house, only to find that he has Forever unconscious. Designer Makers for Weddings stumbled onto the scene of a Venue: Notts Arts Theatre Friday 25/05 Venue: View from The Top murder. When the dead man’s Price: £7 / £9 Price: Free wife confesses to killing her much Jimmy Carr - Gag Reflex Times: 7.30pm Saturday 05/05 14 April (10am - 4pm) and despised husband a stranger agrees Venue: Royal Centre A play about three friends who 15 April (10:30am - 4pm). Painkillers to provide her with an alibi. But, Price: £18.50 share each others happiness, joys A table top weekend wedding fair. Venue: Notts Arts Theatre who is he really protecting? Times: 8pm and sorrows of life. Runs Until: 15/04 Price: £5.50 / £7 Runs Until: 26/05

Times: 7.30pm Nadia, a journalist, traces the life Tuesday 29/05 Monday 16/04 Tuesday 17/04 of Angela as she explores what can Sunday 27/05

Should I Stay or Should I Go? Hot Flush! A Menopause Musical lead a woman to mourder. Award- The Lace Market, Arts and Jaleo Venue: Maze Venue: Royal Centre winning writer Paul Buie lifts this Business Project Venue: Playhouse Price: £3 / £4 (NUS) Price: £9 - £26 dark story that shifts between Venue: View from The Top Price: £12.50 - £16 Times: 8.30pm start Times: Various truth and fabrication, vulnerability Price: Free Times: 7.30pm Packed with new songs, an all-star and ferocity taking us through the A display of artwork and concepts A cocktail of explosive footwork, cast and a sprinkling of HRT. Get psyche of women who kill. Exhibitions by artist and sculptural designer singing, guitar playing and ready to share in the friendships, Fiona Heron. See the concepts percussive handclapping from some Sunday 01/04 secrets, laughs, tears and the behind the redesign of the Lace of flamenco’s finest award-winning (probably hormonal) ups and downs Monday 07/05 Market Square just around the artists. Prizewinners Exhibition of some terrific characters. corner from the gallery. The New Statesman Venue: Surface Gallery Runs Until: 30/04 Venue: Royal Centre Price: Free Tuesday 29/05 With Tomas Chaffe and Ben Rivers. Wednesday 18/04 Price: £10 - £26 Times: Various Runs Until: 14/04 Gob Squad’s Kitchen Saturday 21/04 The Permanent Way Meet Alan B’stard, Venue: Playhouse Venue: impeccably pin- Price: £12.50 - £16 Prickings: Catherine Bertola Price: £6 / £7 striped, nose aloft, Times: Various Venue: Nottingham Castle Stockbrokers, railway workers, stalking the corridors In 1963 Andy Warhol bought a Price: Free policemen, crash survivors, of power leaving a 16mm film camera and pointed Runs Until: 15/04 relatives and counsellors are all trail of devastation in it at a friend while he slept. The linked by avoidable, fatal events. his wake. resulting eight hour film ‘Sleep’ was Who should take responsibility? Runs Until: 12/05 Hetain Patel and Jason Singh the first of many. A quest for the Runs Until: 21/04 Venue: Lakeside original, authentic, here and now.

Price: Free Thursday 10/05 Runs Until: 30/05 This interactive multi-screen Thursday 19/04 installation forms part of a national Natural Artifice Derren Brown tour, with each exhibition changing Hang Lenny Pope Venue: Royal Centre in response to its location. Venue: Lakeside Price: Free Venue: Lakeside Price: £21.50 Runs Until: 15/04 Price: £12 Times: 7.30pm Includes sculpture, installation, drawing and photography. Times: 8pm This is his third tour and is The Art of Wedding Photography Can a family find hope for the expected to sell out as quickly Venue: View from The Top Runs Until: 17/06 future? Chris O’Connell’s new play as the last one; which won the Price: Free explores the possibility that love coveted Olivier Award for Best Times: Normal opening hours Tuesday 01/05 might return and redemption be Entertainment. An exhibition by top regional found for a couple whose lives have Runs Until: 11/05 One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest wedding photographers. A chance City Arts Nottingham been battered by the experience Venue: Royal Centre to see a wide range of approaches Venue: View from The Top of parenting a violent son. Both Price: £8 - £22.50 to capturing the moment. Price: Free touching and funny, Hang Lenny Monday 14/05 Times: Various

Runs Until: 15/04 Runs Until: 14/05 Pope is an urban love story with a This exciting definitive multi-award Footloose - The Musical macabre twist. winning production comes hot from Venue: Royal Centre Runs Until: 21/04 two sell-out seasons in the West Tuesday 15/05 Price: £10 - £27 End. Starring Shane Richie. Times: Various Runs Until: 02/06 Thursday 05/04 Perceptions of People with Monday 23/04 Based on the smash hit 1980s Learning Disabilities movie starring Kevin Bacon. It’s the In Sickness and In Health Venue: View from The Top The Hound of the Baskervilles story of city boy Ren who has to Wednesday 30/05 Venue: Lakeside Price: Free Venue: Royal Centre move to small town America where Price: Free An exhibition of photography Price: £8 - £22.50 dancing is banned. People today have high challenging the way we see people Times: Various Runs Until: 19/05 The Lover expectations of long and healthy with learning disabilities. In An eerie, bloodcurdling howl is Venue: Lace Market Theatre lives. This was not always the conjunction with the NHS. heard across the moors. A blanket The Lieutenant of Inishmore Price: £6 - £7 case. The uncertainties which faced Runs Until: 21/05 of images and sounds envelop the Venue: Lace Market Theatre After ten years of marriage can people through disease and poor audience bringing the atmospheric Price: £6 - £8.50 Richard and Sarah keep their medical services are demonstrated Tuesday 29/05 terror of Dartmoor, the eerie gothic A Martin McDonagh play. Mad relationship alive? A drama by in the University’s collections of hall and the ghostly hound to life. Padraic’s cat has been knocked the Nobel Prize-winning author, family archives, hospital records Raw Photographic Collective (RPC) Runs Until: 28/04 over on a lonely road. Was it an about fantasies, faithfulness, and early medical text books. Venue: View from The Top accident? Padraic will want to know unfaithfulness and the games Runs Until: 22/07 Price: Free when he gets back from a stint of people play. Thursday 26/04 A group of digital photographers torture and shop bombing in Runs Until: 02/06 Saturday 07/04 who met while attending digital On Saturdays This Bed is Poland Northern Ireland. photography courses at South Venue: Lakeside Runs Until: 19/05 Nottinghamshire College. Price: £12 Runs Until: 04/06 Times: 8pm Return to the Forbidden Planet Julie Wilkinson’s new drama tells Venue: Notts Arts Theatre Price: £8.50 / £10 Theatre the story of three women thrown together miles from home. Times: 7.30pm Tuesday 03/04 Runs Until: 28/4 Runs Until: 19/05

Guys and Dolls Monday 30/04 Tuesday 15/05 Venue: Royal Centre Price: £11 - £32 To get listed on these pages, add your Thriller Runs Until: 12/04 Acorn Antiques event to leftlion.co.uk. By doing so Venue: Royal Centre Venue: Royal Centre we’ll include you in the magazine, it’s A Word In Your Eye Price: £19.50 - £29.50 completely free and simple to do. Use Henri Oguike Dance Company Price: Various Venue: Lakeside Times: 7.30pm doors this form: Venue: Playhouse Runs Until: 05/05 Price: Free A celebration of the phenomenal Price: £12.50 / £16 Acorn Antiques was first seen on leftlion.co.uk/add Photography by Graham Lester career of Michael Jackson. This Times: 8pm BBC Television 21 years ago and George. tribute to the king of pop is Henri Oguike, dubbed one of the has been a firm favourite with the Please note. We try to ensure that all Runs Until: 20/05 nation ever since. performed by a full company of most musical choreographers of his West End singers, dancers, a events are correct at time of print, generation, returns to the city with children’s ballet, gospel choir and a but please check before you set off to his eight-strong troupe. live band. avoid disappointment.

LeftLion Unplugged at the Malt Cross The third Tuesday of every month Tues 17th April Black Vinyl Heart John Hull and the Instant Band Daisy B Tues 15th May Liam Bailey and the Soul Parade Austin Francis Connection & Will Jeffery Tim MacDonald

LeftLion Presents at The Orange Tree The first Saturday of every month (From 8:30pm - Midnight)

Sat 07th April You Slut! Dead City Presidents Stiff Kittens DJs Sat 05th May Model Morning Lois Stiff Kittens DJs

This issue’s Nottsword was written by former male stripper turned quizmaster and Kojak impersonator Al Needham. If anyone can actually manage to fill this out correctly and send it back to us by email or to the address on page three, you will win a LeftLion T-shirt (limited sizes left) and a personal handwritten loveletter from Nottingham’s ‘Mr. Sex’.

ACROSS 1. Chippy frequented by Toulouse Lautrec (6,5). 3. It’s on Mansfield Road, but we’re buggered if we can locate it (4). 6. Former LL cover star – giz a pound, we’ll tell you who he is (9). 7. A Nottingham coward (6). 10. Former Radio Trent DJ, now stacks shelves (4,6). 11. Glossy advertorial mag (3). 12. Used to be The Black Orchid (4). 14. The Scottish club Jimmy Sirrell played for (7,6). 17. When model Jodie lets herself go, she shops here (10,6). 20. Headband-wearing Metal Overlord of Nottingham (6). 21. Our crisp-making inbred cousins (9). 22. Twisted local band (4).

DOWN 2. Where we have our pub quiz on Wednesdays (6,6). 3. The tiniest bar in Trinity Square (8). 4. Buses even shit theirsen when on our domain (8). 5. Summat to keep your cobs in (4,3). 8. Swing into Viccy Market for some CDs (8,7). 9. Su Pollard’s other sitcom (2,6,7). 13. Firest cup hero Roy Dwight’s nephew’s hit record (6,3). 15. Should be loads of chippies on this street (5,4). 16. Ex-Forest manager, Glenryck Pilchard lookalike (5,5). 18. Found around 17 across on Sunday nights. And around, and around… (3,6). 19. Tits by the Trent (3,6). 20. Very old channel 3 TV region in the Midlands (3,6).

The LeftLion Pub Quiz takes place at the Golden Fleece on Mansfield Road every Wednesday evening. Blessed be to all of those who take part in this most fiendish and devilish of intellectual contests. Those brave souls compete to win a gallon of beer or a meal for them and their friends in this gladiatorial battle of the minds and beer bellies. Sample some of the weekly delights below...

FILM QUOTES 15. The Dutch version of Aero shares the same name as which BONUS TWO: Who did said former Forest player beat up in a 1. “I do this, this, this, this, this and goal” rubbish 80s band? French bar during the 1998 World Cup? 2. “Hey, look friend, let’s just cut the shit. Now we both know 16. If ‘porcine’ refers to pigs and ‘bovine’ refers to cows, what why I was transferred. Everybody thinks I’m suicidal, in which does ‘ursine’ refer to? MAVERICK ROUND - DRUGS case, I’m fucked and nobody wants to work with me; or they 17. In the Disney version of Robin Hood, what animal is the 26. Name the highly addictive drug that originated in Prague, think I’m faking to draw a psycho pension, in which case, Sheriff of Nottingham? caused people to vomit up their own pelvis, and was exposed in I’m fucked and nobody wants to work with me. Basically, I’m 18. What animal is associated with Reggie Perrin’s mother in an episode of Brass Eye? fucked.” law? 27. Finish the following piece of graffiti; Zammo chased the 3. “Now I want you to give me the gun. Oh, I get it, you gonna 19. In the original , which breed of primate dragon and got… end like Doughboy... like little Chris in a wheelchair. Give me the formed the government? 28. What nationality was Dr Albert Hoffman, the man credited motherfucking gun, Tre.” 20. Not counting birds, what animal appears the most times on with the invention of LSD? 4. “Right Banks, you bastard! I’m the daddy now, next time, I’ll the official badges of the 20 clubs? 29. Sid Vicious, Sonny Liston, Paula Yates and Janis Joplin all fucking kill ya!” BONUS ONE: How many of them are there? died as a result of overdoses of which drug? 5. “One thing about living in Santa Carla I never could stomach, 30. Which drug was first used to treat wounded soldiers in the all the damn vampires.” FOOTBALLERS BEHAVING BADLY Vietnam War? 21. Billy The Fish-lookalike Charlie Nicholas nearly caused the AD SLOGANS death of six US marines when he threw a bottle of vodka at their 6. Mastication for the nation windscreen and caused them to veer off the road. Who was he

playing for at the time?

Ketamine. 30. Heroin; 29. Swiss; 28. 7. Lose the smoke. Keep the fire nose;

22. When Gary Charles’ car was searched by police after another

A smack on the the on smack A 27. Cake; 8. Software for the people-ready business 26. DRUGS: - ROUND MAVERICK

drink-driving episode, what very special piece of evidence did he

lrika Jonsson. Jonsson. lrika U TWO: BONUS Collymore; Stan 25. 9. Spend a little, live a lot lamp;

leave on the back seat?

A table table A 24. Wise; Dennis 23. 10. Anytime, any place, anywhere excrement; own his of handprint

23. Which current manager was sacked as a player for breaking

A A 22. Arsenal;

into a teammate’s hotel room and breaking his jaw as he slept 21. BADLY: BEHAVING FOOTBALLERS

Three - Villa, Chelsea, Middlesborough. Middlesborough. Chelsea, Villa, - Three ONE: BONUS

FOOD AND DRINK because he lost at cards to him? Lion;

20. 20. Orangutans; 19. hippopotamus; A 18. wolf; A 17. Bears;

11. Which citrus fruit was once known as ‘the Forbidden Fruit of 24. What did Gazza break in Glenn Hoddle’s hotel room when 16.

Bros; Bros; 15. Twix; 14. 10; 13. China; 12. Grapefruit;

Barbados’? he was told he’d been dropped from the England squad for the 11. DRINK:

FOOD AND AND FOOD Martini. 10. Aldi; 9. Microsoft; 8. Nicotinell; 7.

12. Which Asian country grows the most apples in the world? World Cup? gum;

Trident Trident 6. SLOGANS: AD Boys. Lost The 5. Scum; 4.

13. Within one either side, how many Lockets do you get in a 25. Which former Forest player got his team sent home early from Hood; The N

Boyz Boyz 3. Weapon; Lethal 2. Victory; To Escape

packet? a pre-season break when he let off a fire extinguisher in the hotel 1. QUOTES: FILM 14. What chocolate bar used to be called Raider in Europe? bar? ANSWERS:

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue16 43 words: Kate Jolly

Why is it that a person’s word seems to mean nothing anymore?

The concept of keeping your word, amongst those I seem to meet, is a tool you can use to deceive, get one over or play mind games for apparently pointless reasons. Maybe it’s the feeling of power or the notion of control or maybe it’s just that I deserve it.

Though fool that I am, in spite of signs advising action which is contrary, I still do it, running around making my ass blue and fly- like until late, busy trying to keep my word, to no avail it would seem, though maybe I only try and keep said word for the same twisted reasons.

I don’t personally like being considered a useless twat but I can handle being one, as long as people are distracted by my slagging someone else off. The idea of letting myself turn into one, as about appealing as spending four days dragging the heaviest thing it’s possible for me to drag towards a bottomless well of shit. Is there a way out, do we really have to be this shit? Is the mould set? Don’t expect me to answer that, I don’t have the answers. I don’t know if I even want them, they sound like they would be a burden, besides I have far too many things to complain about. So they would be no use to me, being about as productive/useful as a compliment, if I didn’t somehow manage to warp said answers with persistent whinging, they would gather dust or ‘accidentally’ dive into the toilet bowl as an upsetting last resort. took a more pedantic route as I really wanted to respond by your first mouthful. If reality bites, people maul.’ pointing out that it shouldn’t make a change as I have never let There’s always a problem of some sort, nothing is ever just Game theory’s most famous game is called ‘Prisoner’s Dilemma’, simple. People always end up assuming the worst. Someone I him down, but then I can be quite irritating so that may not be surprising. a non-cooperative game that involves the following imaginary know called Frank being a very good example of this. It seemed situation: The police arrest two suspects and keep them isolated he couldn’t just be grateful that I had kept my word and saw it from each other. Each prisoner is told that if only one of them as a lesson in earnestness that he should heed. No, of course Though it is nice to bring a pleasant moment to someone’s life, it would be a hell of a lot more pleasing if the act of someone confesses, the one who confesses will go free but the one who not, he instead, like almost everyone I meet, jumps off the boat of remains silent will receive a severe sentence. They are also told logic, head first into the swamp of stupidity. keeping their word was not something which was strange and was instead accepted as the norm. that if they both confess, each will receive a moderate sentence and if neither confesses, each will receive an even milder ‘I am shocked!’ He says before going on to explain that it’s sentence. Under these conditions, each prisoner is better off because when people normally say they are going to pay him What must be taken into account is the fact that being a dealer will give you a slightly screwed version of the trends in morality confessing no matter what the other one does. Yet by pursuing back they don’t. Yes he is a dealer. That may not sound illogical their own advantage and confessing, both get harsher sentences or eye-wateringly stupid in the slightest, perhaps because that and I think his amazement was more to do with the fact that without realising, he already is treating others as he expects to than they would have received if they had trusted each other alone is not. It was only when I went on to query why he should and kept quiet. think that, if he considers the fact that having known him for a be treated: meaning because he himself cannot be relied upon, good length of time I have yet to let him down, coupled with the he assumes that no-one else can either. He is probably right in his actions though, People are shit! Prisoner’s Dilemma highlights and summarises a conflict fact that he also knows friends of mine who I have not let down between individual and group interests that lies at the heart either. Prompting me, quite rightly to think, ‘Jesus… if that is the People are best avoided, they are not to be trusted, relied upon, of many important real-life situations. Decisions about paying extent of your intellect, no wonder you have rejected the system taxes, protecting the environment, or acquiring nuclear weapons and plumped for being a dealer’. compensated or - though it pains me to say it - loved. They say that chocolate stimulates the same bits, which sounds about may also reflect this tension between what’s good for the decision maker and what’s best for the group. I thought about my response before simply saying ‘okay then, right, they both make you fat, lazy, look like shit, come out in that makes sense’. In a questioning tone. He responded with:‘It spots and eventually after your fill, you are left bored, scarred, makes a nice change that is all.’ At this point, my thoughts unsightly and a damn sight more miserable than you were before

44 www.leftlion.co.uk/issue16 If you would like your work published on this page, visit the creative writing forum at www.leftlion.co.uk/forum and start posting. Each issue we select the best submissions for the magazine.

Fistful Riot Ready Love Dream Train Will I? Shane West-Bridgford

Just one more time, Did I tell you about my dream last night Whether I will Spotty young yobbos And then I’ll go, Riding on a train Or whether I won’t Thieving and fighting. Just one more time Down a never ending track Won’t make up my mind, if I do or I don’t The Observer film critic And then I’ll let you be, Fasterthanthespeedoflight finds them “very exciting”. One more apple cork My life in danger And whether I can A last glass filled right yet Or whether I can’t Jumbo-sized Sharons To the top, I felt safe Won’t make me decide chasing council house clowns Just one more time As i flew like a bird on that train. If I should or I shan’t. has the middle-class queueing And then I’ll leap, and I was free. from Broadway to Brownes. I’ll jump out of the window by dylan6776 It’s faster than the stairs by Chantal Throw in sharp dialogue And then I’ll be out of your hair, like “gi us a wank” And into the arms of some and you’ll be laughing like me Fat business man, who will take me home all the way to the bank. Dress me up real nice, Southern Cutter... Have you seen my job? I’m off to Provence now Just one more time to party and rave Waxed folicles of matted kelp, Has anyone seen my job? Lets let the light out as I fly over Skeggie Tumble in rolls, I lost it earlier this week, Crank up the stereo I’ll give ‘them’ a wave. over this washed rock undercut, i just turned my back for a second And fight all night, Shaved in conditioning brush strokes and it was gone,what a cheek. Just one more time by the blue rinse. by Lord Biro Because then in the by Barnze Morning pain, Permanent air foil quiffs of bushes, I’ll look like shit highlight dark razor cliffs With blood in my hair flecked in bleached contrast, And dirt under the nails by the shampoo spray. And you, The Pig And The Boat Will have divine anger Layers of dreaded time, And curse me to hell I had a boat and I had a pig. I had two cymbals given to me by the devil, sweep clean aside - Scream that pervert I put the pig in the boat and set out for new and a violin that acted like a tranquilizer. And focus short cuts; Get out! lands. The music annoyed the pig, I could tell. And it’ll be just like The pig didn’t mind, he loved long journeys. For his birthday I bought the pig a checked falling to It used to The pig could bark like a dog and he would if shirt. all the bodies lashed, you paid him enough. He refused to wear it, saying that checked upon this barberous shore. Just one more time, (Which used to upset the real dogs in the shirts were a cliche. We can sleep all day, neighbourhood.) The pig told me he longed to be an Eskimo, by tokingjohn The cats won’t starve I made sure I was wearing a hat when we left, which somehow enraged me. For hunger, and I packed some ice in case it got hot. I picked the pig up and swung him overboard They’ll just leave Whatever I or the pig thought of became the with a glamorous flourish. And find new owners topic of conversation. The pig was fascinated to find himself in the And we’ll never have to wake, Wrath of the chicken god ‘Snowboarding,’ said the pig. water, but slightly nervous. I’m not asking for much ‘Ever tried it?’ ‘I prefer trains to boats,’ the pig said one Just bring the glass to the table Bird flu bird flu bird flu, everywhere he looked I admitted I hadn’t and the pig snorted his morning as I was dreaming of sandcastles. With such speed as to crush my hand, All this propaganda for some flocking sneezing derision. I didn’t say anything, but I noticed that the Just one more time, chooks For a pig he certainly had strong opinions. pig had taken out his medical records and was Shout, scream, cry and weep, How can a few folks dying ‘Can you fly an aeroplane?’ the pig asked. leafing through them unconcernedly. And tell me what I did Turn into a billion yolks crying? I shook my head sadly. The pig wanted to know what year it was. Last night? Because the flapping media are lying? The pig looked disappointed. ‘Its 1989,’ I told him, although it wasn’t. This wasn’t going well. The pig was thinking of becoming a by Callmadman Perhaps the King of chickens will judge their I started to tell the pig about the time I knifed a communist, which struck me as a great idea. deceit man for lying about his age. For weeks he was full of revolutionary fervour: Peeling their skin with his glorious taloned feet The pig seemed impressed. everything was ideological and explainable. Breaking their bones with his gigantic wing The pig told me his secret love was a white The pig wanted me to call him Henrik, after his The new haiku And pecking their eyes for their editorial sins rabbit that lived in a hut in the garden. cousin. And lo the feathered deity’s wrath will rain The pig danced about the boat as he described I bought the pig a tyre, told him I found it in the the beauty of the rabbit. library. skip a group system down upon them The pig and I decided to make a film about The pig started to whisper things at night. introduce the hatless man And they’ll regret the day that they crossed drowning. ‘Marcel Duchamp,’ whispered the pig, ‘was a strange yourself awhile the master hen We wanted to capture some of the ecstasy of terrible speller.’ dying underwater. I nodded my agreement. love’s a crazy beast He’ll stomp through the cities, seeking them The pig thought he could sell the film to some ‘Walt Whitman didn’t know what he was doing omnipresent and untamed out guy at Sundance. half the time,’ the pig continued. lets get wild tonight “Where are the scaremongers” he’ll clucking shout The pig had taken up smoking, which he did I phoned my brother to tell him what the pig with a smile. had been up to, but he was out winding up by chief kegwin “Bring them to me brothers, to my throne of shitty sticks” He was a very independent pig. clocks so I just left a short message. “Drag them from their newsrooms, the nylon Each night as the sun went down the pig took The pig began to grow a beard, which I had to on a mystical appearance. admit suited him. Stand beneath dark clouds suited pricks” He worshipped the sun like a poet, and when The pig was always discovering new things: he allowing light rainfall “ill make paparazzi omelette with a sauce of night had come he would rig up a complex was always paying close attention. to cleanse your prejudice their dismay’’ “and they will see the fear that they propagate lighting arrangement so the dark couldn’t I liked that about him. touch him. I realised the pig was practicing his the spider spins it’s web each day” ‘I’m lonely’ the pig often said, gloomily. punctuation while I was asleep. and captures hearts I ignored him. as well as flie by Jack Twatt I was trying to make music that no-one could by Cal Gibson hear. by Loinheart

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue16 45 Aries (March 21 - April 20) Libra (September 24 - October 23) You’ll be violated hundreds of times by out-of-control alcoholics this month, but it’s to be expected. The horror of everyday life is apparent in every hour that you spend pretending to work at your Sometimes you might even enjoy it. It’s not that bad if you sit back and relax with a bottle of desk. Over half your waking life is spent faking it. But ask yourself, is any of this real? Or is it just bourbon. It tickles more than it hurts really… a test? Is someone up there playing an incredibly sophisticated joke on us all or is it genuinely this dull. Taurus (April 21 - May 21) The weird and often unfriendly looks you receive on your bus rides throughout the city are the Scorpio (October 24 - November 22) downside to your new hobby. If you want to play then you’ll have to get used to them. The bus You can control your dreams if you become aware of them whilst still asleep. Next time you’re driver knows more about you than you will ever know. nodding and you see a light switch try and hit it. The one thing you can’t change in your dreams is light levels - as extra light is what wakes you up. If the switch doesn’t work then you can have Gemini (May 22 - June 22) whatever you want. Make it lucid baby. You were told nothing good would come of dishonesty, but you can be happy with all the mediocre stuff that did. Bathe in your sinful nature and realise it’s what makes you human. The house cats Sagittarius (November 23 - December 22) will be the next species to rule the planet. Until then they rest… A holiday will do you the world of good, but coming back after it is hard. The thought of running away with someone new appeals, but the most obvious option is not always the best. Your tattoos Cancer (June 23 - July 23) rock! Whatever happens, you’ll always have a place to stay in hood town. Two if you count your sister’s pad. Save time by keeping your socks together throughout the wash and dry process. Get some safety pins and keep them by the washing machine especially. Pin the toes of the socks together and save valuable time matching them up afterwards. Capricorn (December 23 - January 19) I don’t mean to make obscene, but I’ve always been this way. I was born as the seventh son of a Leo (July 24 - August 23) seventh son. My mother and grandmother are both very tired and old as a result both thoroughly If you will continue to take your role models from popular television and films then you’ll continue sick of giving birth to boys. So they stopped and I was the last. But anyway, enough about me… to end up in sticky situations. Big Brother is about as true to real life as Peter Pan. in fact less so. Eastenders and Coronation Street should be banned! Why on earth would you want to make with Aquarius (January 20 - February 19) that Deirdre Barlow Ken fool? Is it possible to happily live in a state of monogamy or is that just a misspelling of a type of dark- coloured wood? Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. To my mind there’s no Virgo (August 24 - September 23) doubt about it. Anytime I have a romance, my wife is bound to interfere. Of all the gin joints in all the towns she walked into mine. It was a day I will remember for the rest of my life. She waltzed in with legs up to her armpits, speaking softly saying: “Hey sugar, I’m Pisces (February 20 - March 20) from the environmental health department. I’ve come to close you down.” That was the day I lost If you need to drug a dog this week then make sure you disguise the flavour of the tablets. everything. It was so beautiful. Canines have sensitive gums which react badly to the acidic flavour of common household medication. Try experimenting with something strong to take the flavour away like Marmite. They’ll either love it or they’ll hate you…

City Centre Squares Special!

MARKET SQUARE RED SQUARE

Year of origin: 1493 Year of origin: 1155 Designer: Ivan III Designer: Gustafson Porter Corpses on display: 1 Corpses on display: 0 Semi-naked hen parties (per week): 1.4 Semi-naked hen parties (per week): 14.4 Washing-up liquid in fountains (p.a): 12 gallons Washing-up liquid in fountains (p.a): 135 gallons

46 www.leftlion.co.uk/issue16

POS LEFT LION AD NU 15/3/07 13:09 Page 1

MEET AT THE LIONS ON PARTYTHE SQUARE LIVE MUSIC WEEKEND 30 MARCH - 1APRIL FRIDAY 30 MARCH SATURDAY 31 MARCH SUNDAY 1 APRIL 6PM ONWARDS 1PM ONWARDS 12PM ONWARDS CRAZY P THE BEVERLEY BENT (DJ) MAGIC KNIGHT NUMBERS FREDDIE KOFI KODA COLA JUST JACK PLUS SUPPORT TONY MORE ACTS TO MUMM-RA BE CONFIRMED HADLEY CHERRY GHOST AND HIS BIG BAND I WAS A KING PLEASURE CUB SCOUT AND THE OLD BASFORD BISCUIT BOYS CAPTAIN OCKBROOK BAND DANGEROUS (THE BEAT AND EG COMPETITION WINNER) PLUS SUPPORT MORE ACTS TO BE CONFIRMED Visit www.nottinghamcity.gov.uk/oms to find out more. This is a free event. All events are correct at time of going to print but may be subject to change.