THE OTHER PRESS Student Newspaper of Douglas College PUBLISHED SINCE 1976

Room 1020 - 700 Douglas College Royal Avenue, New Westminster, BC V3L 5B2 TELEPHONE: 604.525.3542

EDITOR IN CHIEF Liam Britten [email protected]

ASSISTANT EDITOR NEWS Chloe Bach An update on the devastation in Haiti, and what [email protected] Douglas College is doing to help. BUSINESS MANAGER & -Tanya Colledge, Pg. 04 ADVERTISING Angela Szczur [email protected]

NEWS EDITOR ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT Kristina Mameli [email protected] Conan O'Brien leaves NBC: so does good taste. - Jay Schreiber, Pg. 08 STAFF REPORTER Tanya Colledge [email protected]

FASHION EDITOR FASHION Stephanie Trembath [email protected] Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Heidi Montag. -Stephanie Trembath, Pg. 10 SPORTS EDITOR Garth Mclennan [email protected]

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR FEATURE Jay Schreiber [email protected] GWAR!!!!!!!! - Kristina Mameli, Pg. 12-13 OPINIONS EDITOR Trevor Dore [email protected]

HUMOUR EDITOR OPINIONS Liam Britten [email protected] Why school is cool and other nerdy opinions. - Trevore Dare, Pg. 15 GRAPHICS Timothy Arndt graph ics@theotherpress. ca

SPORTS . LAYOUT Brian Yoo Who should headline UFC in Vancouver? [email protected] - Garth Mclennan, Pg. 18 ILLUSTRATOR Ellen Lee [email protected]

PHOTOGRAPHER Maria Asselin-Roy WHO WEARE [email protected] The Other Press has been Douglas College's student newspaper registration, and from local and national advertising revenue. The WEBSITE EDITOR/I.T. since 1976. Since 1978 we have been an autonomous publication, Other Press is a member of the Canadian University Press (CUP), a Angela Szczur independent of the student union. We are a registered society under the syndicate of student newspapers that includes papers from all across [email protected] Society Act of British Columbia, governed by an eight-person board of Canada. directors appointed by and from our staff. Our head office is located in The Other Press reserves the right to choose what we will publish, and DISTRIBUTION MANAGER the New Westminster campus. we will not publish material that is hateful, obscene, or condones or Garth Mclennan The Other Press is published weekly during the fall and winter promotes illegal activities. Submissions may be edited for clarity and semesters, and monthly during the summer. We receive our funding brevity if necessary. All images used are copyright to their respective from a student levy collected through tutition fees every semester at owners.

2 VERY EASY SUDOKU SIIIIIHII-22 What's all this then?· - 8 3 7 - 6 - I I 9 7 but this moniker fits well enough) gave us his brilliant theory: we were a crew of vandals 5 t7 8 1 4 9 that had been operating in the neighbourhood, damaging school property and breaking into 9 1 8 5 Liam Britten cars, and these three drunks with bats were --1- editor in chief merely brave homeowners who were defending 7 6 5 9 8 he first day I ever called the police was their property. 5 7 4 3 the same day I became a serial vandal. Open and shut case, Detective Dumbass! T Apparently. It took nearly an hour of talking, but we 6 1 3 2 5 4 There I was,l9 years old, making my usual finally got the cop to reconsider his ingenious Friday night journey from the pub to my house scenario. He assured us he'd have more 4 6 after last call. I decided to cut through a nearby questions, but as far as I know, none of us were schoolyard and shave a few minutes off my trip, ever contacted for a furthering grilling. I 5 4 1 7 when lo and behold, I met a pair of my friends I know what a lot of you dearest readers are from high school whom I hadn't seen in a long thinking; it was just one jerk, a one-time thing, time. I came over to say "hi," and we all got but most officers are fine public servants that caught up reminiscing and generally shooting the deserve our trust. But really, why should anyone shit, having a jolly laugh and all that. think that's true? Take the case of Yao Wei Wu, Until three guys with baseball bats ran a Vancouver man who was severely beaten by up on us, swearing and yelling and generally two VPD officers who were responding to a looking to beat our skulls in. Just another night domestic disturbance call at his house-rather, Douglas College teachers' "leftisf' in Port Coquitlam. views encourage critical thinking. at his neighbour's house; the idiot officers went Instinctively, we ran. We ran about a to the completely wrong address, and beat a man hundred metres out of the park and then we hit senseless in error. Oops! he following is a response to Garth McLennan's article about our a road, then we split up; I don't know why we You might think that they were just two wicked lefty college ["We need a more centred view," Issue #45 split up, I figured even at the time that staying in "bad apples" who aren't representative of TVol. 35, January 6, 2010]. a group would have been the safest thing to do. our police forces as a whole. But then again, Thank you, Garth, for your article bemoaning the "left-leaning" Regardless, one friend and I ran up the road, the I suppose the officers who killed Robert slant you feel you are exposed to at Douglas College. other guy went down the road. Dziekanski were just bad apples. And I suppose In regards to the media, have you heard of Canwest Global? They I guess our assailants, whom none of us the officers who killed Frank Paul were just own and control almost every single major and community newspaper recognized, were feeling really brave that night bad apples; so were the officers who beat petty in this province and the country. They own and control many of our TV because they all chased the lone guy who went criminals in Stanley Park and I guess every stations, and even some of our radio stations. They are Canada's largest down the street. The other guy and I got away, single complicit officer who tried to cover these media company and most certainly have a monopoly. A critical thinker and managed to run to his house. We were clear. wrongdoings up were just isolated bad apples. might consider that a bad thing when it comes to getting an objective The guy who split off knew to come meet Am I the only one who wonders if there's a perspective on things that "make the news." Canwest Global is also us at the house; he was staying there that night, single good apple left? widely considered a "right-leaning" media company. In my mind, we so where else would he go? We waited for a few Until police officers have to answer for have more than enough of that one perspective. Thank goodness that the minutes and he didn't show. Understandably, we their misdeeds in a real, open, honest way, teachers at Douglas College work hard to give students some balance; were worried. So, I called the police. there's no reason for anyone to trust them. Why you might even say that they encourage us to think critically! That is They came, alright. A pair of cruisers should we? After all, any one of us could end up something that is very important and vital for keeping an open mind. rolled up with lights flashing and we pointed like me, a victim of crime who gets harassed for Virtually every higher learning institution does the same and I am very them towards where we last saw our friend. being in the wrong place at the wrong time. grateful for that. They were off to the races, and before long, Actually, come to think of it, if harassment When it comes to global warming and the fact that our federal our friend returned on his own accord and the is all you get from the police, consider yourself government refuses to deal with it-well, it's your future too that Harper three hooligans were wearing handcuffs in the lucky. is flushing down the toilet-enough said. backseat. As for unions being too militant, have you had a job where you Before we could even thank the officers Your friend in high fidelity, were paid a decent, liveable wage? lf so I bet you didn't complain when who arrested the attackers, we got hit with a Liam Britten you cashed your paycheque and it was likely a union fighting for your barrage of accusing questions, because it seems Editor in chief rights that got you that decent wage and those benefits. Maybe trying to we were the ones breaking the law here. The Other Press survive on minimum wage is good enough for you but it isn't easy to Detective Dumbass (I forget his real name, feed a family, put a roof over their heads and get around on transit on such a shameful amount of money. As for your comment regarding InSite, addictions and poverty are Anyone can get~ Submissions will be edited for clarity NEWS SUBMISSIONS [email protected] never really that simple. Look at the U.S. war on drugs compared to en in the Other Pn!stiJust email andstyte. how the Europeans approach society's drug problems. Research it; you -· your story to the appropriate section The Other Press will pay $50 to SPORTS SUBMISSIONS might just be very surprised at which one is actually effective. editor from the list on the right any student who writes an article of [email protected] And the Olympics? Enjoy yourself, because it is one seriously = Please send your file as an MS IMlrd at least 1,000 mrds for the "features" a; A&E SUBMISSIONS expensive party that will have Coca-Cola and GE whooping it up, doc file, and indude your full name, section, Submit story ideas to the [email protected] dancing on the tables, and you and I feeling the nastiest hangover ever, email address, and word count Editor in Chief. Offer good once per with empty pockets for a long time to come! I sure hope I don't see an semester per student FEATURE ARTICLES The weekly deadline for [email protected] article in a future issue of The Other Press where you complain about the ... submissions is Wednesday night for The Other Press holds weekly staff high taxes in B.C. - publication the foi!CfNing Monday. meetingsat6 PM on Mondays in OPINION SUBMISSIONS [email protected] Thank goodness for guys like Michael Moore; just like our ... letters to the Editor and "time­ room 1020 of the New Westminster teachers; they are all letting us know there are many different sensitive" articles (weekend news, campus. AH interested students are perspectives and two sides to every story. .... sports, and cultural reviews) will be welcome. a; accepted until Satun:tay at noon and -Laura Dupont - can be submitted to the edlor at ~

• 3 Relief efforts continue after Haiti earthquake Douglas College's DSU contributes to the relief effort Douglas College Wrap-Up By Kristina Mamell and Tanya Colledge The blogoapherewalcomes Douglas' peaidel"t "I'm new to blogging, but excited to try it," says Douglas College President Dr. Scott McAlpine in the "About Me" section of his new blog. "Here," McAlpine goes on, "I and others will blog about strategic planning and the 7 key themes at the centre of our process." The blog is intended to act as a forum of open dialogue about the College primarily for staff. "My hope is that employees will weigh in. We need your thoughts and feedback. This is one place to share it." Check it out at http://www. of Jacmel, hometown of Governor General Michaelle douglaspresident.com/ Jean, has become the center hub for the delivery of Learn to kick some butt! aid, acquiring Canadian supplies such as lighting, Join Jennifer Kirkey, a 20-year Wenlido radar and more emergency crews. WEST veteran, for a special women's self­ The UN World Food Program and the Red Cross defence workshop. have managed to reach 500,000 Haitians with food Sponsored by Douglas College's but continue to fall short of supplies. Meanwhile Employee Relations and the Women's eeks after a devastating earthquake shook u:s. marines, soldiers and sailors have slowly begun to Centre, this two-day event will teach southern Haiti the world has united hoping take control over parts of the city helping to escort students the 4 As of self-defence: to be to offer relief in any way possible. The W deliveries and ensure order, while UN peacekeepers Aware of what is likely to happen to you, most powerful to hit Haiti in over a century, the so you can Avoid it, and if you can't avoid and international police forces continue to aid the 7.0 magnitude quake struck roughly 15 kilometres it, learn Assertiveness skills and simple, country on its long road to recovery. southwest of Port-au-Prince and was felt over 30 effective Action techniques. A mass migration has been planned for 400,000 kilometres away in eastern Cuba, knocking down Free and open tO all employees and survivors to temporary camps outside of town, buildings and power lines. students, Kirkey's workshop provides a however, authorities have begun to worry about safe, supportive atmosphere to learn new Within minutes, a blanket of smoke and dust sanitization and fear that disease outbreaks could skills that could save your life. The event covered the city as the people attempted to make their only worsen the situation. Few tents have been made will be held on Saturday, January 30 and way through the rubble to seek safety. The remains available for those sent out to the camps, others will Sunday January 31, from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. of crumbled buildings lay scattered on the street, have to make due living under tarps or seeking shelter in room 1630 at Douglas College's New including the president's residency and the local Westminster campus. under trees. hospital, leaving the roads blocked off to traffic. The world was told to expect a catastrophe of According to seismic experts, the quake took lnv•tmenta anyone? major proportions in what is known as the poorest place 10 kilometres underground, resulting in severe Interested in learning more about country in the Western Hemisphere, and as numbers shaking and an estimated 10 aftershocks, two of investments and the financial market? The of the wounded, dead and the missing continue to Student Investment Oub will be hosting an orientation open to all Douglas College staff,faculty and students on Wednesday, "A mass migration has been planned for 400,000 survivors to temporary camps January 27. The two-hour session will outside of town, however, authorities have begun to worry about sanitization consist of an introduction and definitions of and fear that disease outbreaks could only worsen the situation." the tinancia1 sector, followed by information on portfolio management. The orientation will be presented by pour in, so has the overwhelming support from people which were in the five-magnitude range. The latest two Douglas College business instructors, all around the world. aftershock of 4.7 magnitude occurred 13 days after the Joe Dsever and George Stroppa, and will be held from 4:~:30 p.m. in 1614 initial quake, instilling more terror and panic in the room at Douglas College's New Westminster survivors. The Douglas College Students' Union Representative campus. The death toll has been estimated at 200 000 Committee bas also reached out to the DC community Under J:)ouglas College's Fmancial people, with another 80,000 already buried i~ mass to encourage all students, faculty, S1aft' and friends to Services Mauagement, the Student graves. Among those numbers, 13 Canadians have lnvestmeat Oub seeks to provide tools contribute or doaate what they can to the Haiti relief. been confirmed dead, with another 543 still missing. and rec:lmiques to students to become In letUm, the DSU will match funding of up to SSOO The European Commission has estimated that two better investors. They muin completely tolal for aroups tbat fundraise within the college million people are now homeless, and 250,000 in need objedive, providiq ueful tools in order aad offer the use of aad leiJOUft:eS, such u of urgent aid. s.-:e to help you make informed dec:ilioal pbolocopying,u well as doaate $SOO from the DSU about )'(*I' invellmeldl. The dub will hold The UN, Red Cross, Canadian and American Doaatioa Puad. IDOIIIbly meeriap ltaltilll Muda 2010. military troops, and many others have flooded to the For 1n01e iDfonnalioa oa Douslu College's relief scene to help with the relief. The southern coastal city effotu, COiliKt the DSU.

4 News Shorts Vancouver 201 0 promises to be the greenest Games ever By Kristina Mamell, News Editor By Tanya Colledge, Staff Reporter The city's construction of green venues has been Anti-Olympic graffiti not tolerated one of the most visual cues to the greening of the ANOC has promised that the Vancouver Games. With the adoption of the Leadership in Energy 2010 Winter Olympics and Paralympics will and Environmental Design (LEED) Green Building V be the greenest games ever, and so far, their Rating System, venues such as the Richmond Olympic sustainability initiatives have been a testament that Oval have been constructed using one million feet of British Columbia is determined to keep that promise. lumber harvested from pine-beetle killed forests and VANOC's website offers a comprehensive list of how feature energy-saving refrigeration and rain-water they have designed the upcoming games in February collection. The new Vancouver Convention Centre to manage the environmental, social and economic also has a rainwater collection system, but in the form impacts and opportunities in order to create a lasting of 400,000 plants, free from chemicals and pesticides, legacy for our province. that will capture rainfall to use within the building and VANOC taking sustainability into their action for irrigation. plan for the Games is an Olympic first-one that is VANOC h~ also incorporated heat recovery sure to be mimicked and be a catalyst for change solutions into many of the venues to reuse waste heat in the future. By creating systems, such as the and reduce greenhouse gas emissions and electrical Sustainable Sport and Event toolkit. (SSET), the energy use. Excess heat created at Nat Bailey Stadium committee has been able to successfully put these for example, home of the curling events during the "With glowing hearts, we kill the arts," greener goals into action. Already in use by the Games, will be used to heat a 50-metre pool located at read the anti-Olympic graffiti that adorned Swiss and Canadian National Olympic Committees, the new community centre beside the building. Other several walls where murals displaying Speed Skating Canada and the International Cycling venues such as the Whistler Sliding Centre plan to use Vancouver's arts culture once stood. Union, the SSET is a web-based how-to guide to the excess heat generated to heat the plant and guest The graffiti along Beatty and between incorporating sustainability into sport organizations services building. Dunsmuir and Georgia, was visible for only and events to produce not only sustainable operations For a list of more ways VANOC has built a few days, located near what will become and events, but to inspire athletes, sponsors and fans sustainability into the Games, visit www. LiveCity venues during the Games. The to do their part. vancouver201 O.com. phrase, etched in white around Olympic rings, and more like it, have since been painted over in blue. The streetcar returns to Vancouver streets just in time for the Olympics

Snow worries Mere weeks before the 2010 Winter Games, lack of snow in the forecast is beginning to concern Olympic organisers. Local mountains such as Cypress, the freestyle skiing and snow board-cross venue, have been forced to shut down earlier than planned in an effort to preserve what is left of the snow. The forecast leading up to the Games is not calling for any snow at all, nor any temperatures cold enough to even sustain fake snow. VANOC now says it plans to Olympic Line, a free service that will shuttle truck in stockpiled snow atop structures passengers from Cambie, through 2"d, to Granville made of wood and straw to properly fill out Island. The streetcar's inaugural journey happened the courses. Thursday at 9:30a.m. The line will continue to run Kristina Mameli from 6:30 to 12:30 a.m. until March 21. The cars Canada reaches out to Haiti relief news editor hold 50 seated people and 128 standing with room for Canadians have traditionally been charitable ancouver has enjoyed a long history with strollers and/or bikes. Streetcars are quieter, more spacious and a much people, but their response to the devastation the streetcar-in fact the first network was cleaner alternative to buses, running on electricity. in Haiti truly embodies that charitable built in 1890 by the B.C. Electric Railway On V The Olympic Line project is already the recipient of nature. a per capita basis, Canada is a Company. It was an innovation that was slowly the Sustainability Star Award for providing a solution world leader in its generosity. Continuing overtaken; trolleys and buses began to replace the in that vein, Canada has asked to lead the streetcar as technology advanced and by the end of to a local sustainability issue that could potentially reconstruction of the nation. February 1958, the last passenger streetcar, car 1231, branch into a solution for a more global problem. As of this writing, the Canadian public traveled the B.C. Electric track from Brighouse to TransLink and the City of Vancouver plan to has eventually expand the streetcar network, linking the contributed upwards of $40 million Kitsilano on its final journey. Until now, that is. Canada Line and the Expo Lines as well as acting as to relief funds, with Ottawa promising to The City of Vancouver, in partnership with an extension of the Millennium Line. The proposed match every penny. Bombardier Transportation, has borrowed two plan would also see links between places like streetcars from Brussels, Belgium to form the Chinatown, Gastown and Yaletown. 5 An intimate sit down with one of the Green Men Duthie Books to close its doors after 53 years The independent retailer falls victim to changing times By Laura Gallant, Link Editor (BCIT) seats, among the laughing, people could be heard saying "ew" and "I didn't need VANCOUVER (CUP)-The Green Men to see that." Pointing to his costume, are not only Vancouver Canucks fans but Sully explains that despite not being able they are dressing up for a purpose. The to see much of the game, there are some men wearing full body spandex suits are advantages to wearing it. what some might call revolutionaries, "Whenever we walk in the they want to send a message to GM concourse between periods we are Place. bombarded by fans. Last game I think "Presentation at GM Place is a bit we had 200 to 300 people coming up to stale and half of the lower bowl is made us and asking for photos. It's fun so we up of corporate fans that are always so don't have a problem with the attention. quiet and reserved, so we decided to And much to my girlfriend's dismay, on lighten the mood up a little and have more than one occasion my bum has been some fun. GM Place doesn't really get pinched by women in their 40s looking the fans pumped up anymore. The first for a piece," recalls the Green Man. If he game I went to this year the DJ played wasn't wearing his costume, he would Coldplay as their opening song ... not have been seen smiling as he said this. really a tune that's going to get the "The suit has its drawbacks though. adrenaline pumping. So we decided to The most difficult thing about it is not dress up and give people a laugh. At first being able to drink and see very well it was just a gag but then it caught on and during the games. The bathroom is also people starting liking us and we started a real challenge. We use a stall because getting media attention," explains the we have to unzip the entire costume ... we mysterious masked man. use separate stalls, we don't unzip each For those who are not familiar with other," Sully was very adamant that last the men in green, they first appeared at a part be included. Nashville Predators game over a month Surprisingly, their dance moves are ago. Every time a Nashville player sat in not inspired from classic artists. the penalty box, the Green Men would be "We draw on inspiration for our beside them, heckling the players. Dave dance moves from a variety of sources. Scatchard, playing for the Predators at Probably the two artists that stand out the time, was particularly agitated by the the most are Pete Sampras and a young Green Men and ended up throwing his Doctor Phil. Our moves are unique and towel over the box camera. GM Place flow in a certain way that keeps us going By Kristina Mameli, News Editor far as I'm concerned." erupted in laughter and that's when the for the game," said the Green Man, half The iconic and beloved retailer boys knew they were making a difference serious. he family owned and operated long championed books from both in the game. It was the perfect storm; they To quash rumours, the Green Men Duthie Books (2239 West 4'h Ave, Canadian and local authors, embracing had seats beside the away team's penalty have not been approached by Mike Gillis Vancouver) will close its doors the alternative and encouraging local box and were located in the line of sight personally and have not been given free T after 53 years at the end of February, writers. The release states that "the book of the box camera that displayed the two tickets. the company announced last Tuesday. culture of Vancouver and B.C. has grown men on the rink's big screen. The two mysterious men hope the Founded in 1957 by Bill Du_thie, the up and flourished around Duthie's, from Like all masked men, they want to green trend catches on and the Canucks flagship store is the last of eight shut publisher's reps to publishing houses , , keep their identity a secret, however, it come out with a green uniform. Sully and down in the last decade. The store is authors, illustrators, designers, printers, has been learned the Green Men have Force want the organization to abolish the choosing to voluntarily shut down before literary festivals, and university writing ties to BCIT: they are both broadcast whale and "Vancouver rainbow" above pressure from the changing economy and publishing programs have emerged journalism students. To the public they the logo that is on the current Canucks and skyrocketing rent forces it to. In a in the Duthie's milieu and many Duthie's will be known as Force and Sully. jersey. For now, they wilT continue to press release, the Duthie family( Cathy alumni work in all parts of the book The body-tight green suit doesn't show up to games this season and spark a Legate, Celia Duthie and David Duthie) trade." leave much to the imagination. When the little life into GM Place. thanked "all the customers, readers, staff, The release also goes on to address guys first walked down the aisle to their authors, and publishers who have been the issues of the changing market, part of Duthie Books over the years, technological advances in how books are particularly our customers who have read, and a major shift in demographics. remained steadfast." The retailer says it is no longer able to The news of the impending closure compete with stores like Chapters and generated an outpouring of support Internet heavyweight Amazon. from a community that grew up with ''This will leave an un-patchable Duthie's. On the Facebook fan page, hole in the fabric of Vancouver," one customer remembers the culture comments a Face book fan. "Where that Duthie's fostered. "I shall miss my will we book lovers go to feed our access to your wonderful service; smart, addiction?" inquires another. witty staff; consistently interesting recommendations, surprise finds-the Duthie's last sale starts January 28, whole Duthiesphere. A certain frisson offering 40 per cent off its entire stock will disappear from my ambles along 4th with further price cuts leading to the Avenue .. . " Another laments "This is so store's final days. unfortunate. Duthie's IS Vancouver as

6 A£ Green Day's American Idiot hits Broadway

Crystal Hut

previous extensions due to its rising popularity. After much consideration, it was decided that American Idiot: The Musical was Broadway worthy, and Angela Espinoza will be running preview shows at New ime brings with it a great deal York's St. James Theatre starting March of change. As winter gradually 24, with opening night slated for April T comes to an end, snow (not 20. that we saw any) begins to melt with The play follows three individuals: the arrival of spring. Aowers begin to Johnny, Tunny and Will, as they attempt to find meaning in their otherwise empty By Jay Schreiber, Arts Editor Crystal Lodge (follow the crowds) but instead bloom, birds flock back from the South, suburban lives. Johnny and Tunny c:i catching one c:i the two chair lifts in the area, critters awaken from their slumber. run away to some generic city while tis the greatest thing you've ever continue on down the run named ''Zig Zag." Yet despite all the pleasantries that Will stays behind with his pregnant eaten? Was it that steak from the From this run, there will be a pathway to the come with spring, we must also face girlfriend. As time passes, the three men eg, or your Uncle Larry's famous right and a sign saying ''Crystal Chair;" take the annoyances; the pelting rain, the entangle themselves in drugs, sex, war barbecue burgers? I can say with no hesitltion that one. onslaught of insects, allergies and, as of and feelings of alienation. As can be that petbaps the greatest thing to pass through Once atop the Crystal chair, the Hut is just this year, the Broadway run of American expected with this trashy teen drama, my lips are the world-famous waffles that one off to the side and the aroma c:i waffles will be Idiot: The Musical. everything sorts itself out in the end. can find in the Crystal Hut on Blackcomb wafting through the air, to put in simpler terms, After several years of speculation While the lack of character depth Mountain. you can't miss it! The hut is also accessible as to how Green Day planned to whore and the preschool plot have come under So what is so great about these waffles, from the Glacier chair if you take the run titled out the success of their Grarnmy award­ scrutiny, it's been noted that the visual you may ask, that has me going gaga about their "Ridge Runner'', but this is less direct and easier winning album, the general assumption techniques have been quite impressive. conswnption? Well let me sum up for you, oh to get sidetracked. was that a film adaptation was to be The performances themselves have also reader of The Other Press, the experience to be The Hut itself is oozy, warmed by a wood made. Details such as who was involved been met with much praise, as can be had when traveling the trails covered in snow. and how they were going about it were burning stove and has seating for about 40 or expected with profess1onals and Tony­ No ordinary waffle is covered in the so. It's almost never busy and the allno5phere never revealed, with the band merely award winners amongst the cast and freshest blueberries, the reddest strawberries and makes you feel like you're lost in a cabin giving general statements such as , "It's crew, including Michael Mayer, who the most delectable chips of chocolate, all to be definitely going to happen." Eventually, somewhere in the forest. The view from Crystal won several 2007 Tonys for his musical drowned in maple syrup so thick it could choke Hut is fantastic, being located on the side of the band stated the project was on hold adaptation of the controversial German a donkey. Cover that with four shots of whipped a cliff and its location is definitely what you so they could focus on their music. It's play, Spring Awakening. cream and there you have it, bliss and heaven would call 'off the beaten path'. clear though that the idea never left Despite my negativity towards on a plate made especially for you and served Next time you're boarding around their mind, as their latest album, 21st the show, I'm quite fond of Green with an Australian accent. Blackcomb,forgo the large mini-malls located Century Breakdown, contains obvious Day-the Green Day that brought us I'm not kidding,folks, this is the stuff near the major chair lifts. Make the effort and go similarities to American Idiot. albums like Dookie and Warning . It's dreams are made of, the kind of meal you feel for the best damned food available at 6,(XX) feet. By September 2009, Green been this new approach the band's been guilty after eating. This platter of amazing grace Day premiered American Idiot: The taking since American Idiot that I can't is so good, and amazingly beautiful that it's Musical at the Berkeley Repertory We give thla place: help but scrutinize. After a 20 year run, almost a shame to devour it. Let me now share Theatre in Berkeley, California. The 414Forka change can only be expected from the with you the instructions on how to reach this musical consists of the original album average band-but using the pretentious small hut in the woods that makes the greatest in its entirety, as weU as several B-side whining of fictional, faceless characters breakfast known to man. tracks and additional songs from 21st to file their album under rock opera, or From Whistler Vtllage, take the Excalibur Century Breakdown, Nimrod and Rock as Billie Joe Armstrong states, "rock gondola and get~ at 1he last Slation. From Against Bush, Vol. 2. The entire show theatre," is a silly way to go about it. there, you will need to get on 1he Excderator is performed in one act, and there Nevertheless, the hype surrounding chair (for thooe of you familiar with 1he appears to be no actual dialogue as the show entails it should be a positive IOOUiltain; this should be secood nature by the performance is sung-through. The experience, and if given the opportunity, now). You then have to ride down towards 1he show ran until November 15, after two one should check it out. 7 S~me people can't help but live their life in limbo NBC drops Conan, and with it goes the Theatre crew brings light to the darker side of growing old network's last great crusader Changes to late night television will inevitably hurt ratings

Not to mention Leno's guests, such as the generic sports icon of the month, or Dana lease tell me that it isn't true. Tell Carvey who whenever he came out had me that they're all kidding and no problem repeating every SNL sketch makes a friend in Savage before turning Pthat this is some big practical he was in during the '80s. on her. Linda's estranged boyfriend joke. Conan O'Brien is being kicked off Conan's shows, on the other hand, Tony was played with spunk by Carlen The Tonight Show for perhaps the most were actually entertaining to watch Jay Schreiber Escarraga, who had the perfect grease ball ridiculous reasons that anyone could and fun for everyone in the audience. arts editor attitude filled with plenty of "Who da fuck imagine. His monologue featured such things It all started about two weeks ago, as the dancing pants or the "hair shot" hat happens when life loses are yoo!" when NBC announced that Leno's prime and whenever things got dull (which its lustre? Where do you find Supporting roles of Murk and April time 10 p.m. slot was being canceled due was rare) the band was an easy target direction when you've been were great for contrast as played by James W to lack of ratings and for that matter an to squeeze jokes out of. Conan's guests running in circles? How do you cope with Forrester and Emmelia Gordon. Emmelia, audience. The following rumors from were original and made the most of the looking back and seeing yourself only a graduate of Langara's Studio 58, had NBC were that Conan would be pushed time on his show, such as Will Ferrell steps away from the starting line? In John excellent one liners playing a believable Shanley's play, Savage In Limbo, the drunk whose second home was on her bar protagonist in the story is trying to find stool. Forrester portrayed a well-mixed "Leno isn't funny. He used to be a decent host In his younger her way off of the treadmill she's been bartender, who showed compassion for years, but unlike wine, his age has exposed him for the running on her entire life. his number one customer and always talentless skunk-haired chin he Is." Set in Little Italy, New York, the made sure there was a drink in her hand. story takes place on a Monday night in Behind the scenes, Heidi Quicke and back to his original12:35 time slot, and who came out once dressed in character a local pub where several people of the Jordan Graham made sure the show went Leno would take over The Tonight Show as Robert Goulet. same age find themselves to be similar in smoothly, never stumbling over lighting again. Conan also brought back the idea of more ways than they first thought. Denise and sound cues. What bullshit! having a right hand man by sitting with Savage, a 32-year-old virgin living with On the whole, the play was I find it hard to believe that NBC, a Andy Richter, a funny man who never let her shut-in mother, goes out to have a thoroughly enjoyable. The stage consisted failing television network, really believes a dull moment pass and could be counted good time and escape her otherwise boring of two tables and a bar, with the audience that their savior lies within the psyche on for comic relief. O'Brien's characters existence when she runs into Linda, an old seated around the stage. In a theater-in­ of Jay Leno and that restoring him to the and small skits were ridiculously classmate from high school who enters the-round style, the audience got to really host of The Tonight Show will really fix funny and original-just think of the the bar in tears. Linda is having a tough connect with what was happening on stage anything. By doing that, I think NBC Masturbating Bear. time with her lover, Tony Aronica and in because they felt like they were part of the might just find themselves back in the Leno has been cold for a decade and an effort to soothe her relationship woes action. stone age and may fold with no chance of should consider retiring from television takes comfort at the bar. The only downfall of the production competing with other major networks. altogether. What NBC is doing to Conan The bartender, Murk, is a tough guy was the often unavoidable threat posed by The reason is simply because Leno is not fair, nor is it good for late night who likes order and keeps the rules of minimalism. Shanley's writing has actors isn't funny. He used to be a decent host television. O'Brien told NBC to go fuck the bar intact regardless of other peoples' giving five minute monologues that leave in his younger years, but unlike wine, his themselves and rejected the offer to be agendas. His best customer,April, is an the other players to stand around with age has exposed him for the talentless pushed back to 12:35. In backlash, the alcoholic who drowns her sorrows every little to do, partly due to the setup and skunk-haired chin he is . His version of network had no other option than to pay night by sitting next to Murk and keeping lack of more props. However, despite the The Tonight Show was never anything out 32.5 million dollars for Conan's him company. occasionally one-person show feeling that to write home about, it contained the contract, plus an additional 7.5 million to The cast all did a fantastic job in the crowd may have felt, the characters same drivel night in and night out and people who have worked with O'Brien upholding the atmosphere of depressed were well developed and focus never whenever it got stale, NBC would throw over the years. Italian Americans who waste their lives drifted away from the action. a few thousand dollars into a new set for Conan essentially fought the system being stuck in the same routine day in and Savage In Limbo is a highlight that Leno to bomb in. and won, but at the cost of keeping decent day out. Notably, Tirra Dent had a great the Douglas arts community can be proud Leno's side guys were not much late night talk shows alive. From now role as lost and directionally challenged of this year. The next performances are help to the show either. Kevin Eubanks on, my television stays off after 11 p.m. Savage, and serving double duty as the scheduled for this spring, also featuring always played the character of the on weeknights, and I strongly suggest play's director as well. Her chemistry was another John Shanly play, the Italian pothead band leader and John Melendez that everyone else to do the same in an accented by Bianca Spagnuolo's portrayal American Reconciliation. Catch it, or was just a stuttering brown nose who attempt to preserve what we can of our of Linda, the feisty bitch'who temporarily forever live your life stuck in limbo. hung off of Jay's every word. Pushover! brain cells. 8 The Book of Ell has an Interesting story, but is lacking a few chapters of excellence

By Cody Klyne by marauders, cannibals, rapists, and though delivered a little heavy-handedly, made Kunis the final link in the overall opportunists, Eli is "gifted" with being develop surrounding the message of the chain of middling execution that seems to The Book of Eli features a Denzel in possession of the last-known Bible. power and abuse of religion. characterize the movie from start to finish. Washington in a fantastic role that takes Driven by faith and guided by a divine Although the setting, moments Granted, standing toe-to-toe with an actor movie-goers on a blood-soaked journey voice, Eli is determined to complete his of originality, and over the top action the calibre of Washington doesn't do her across a post-apocalyptic wasteland. mission against all odds and, inexplicably, set pieces may carry the film for some; any favours. Blending the lone ranger attitude deliver the book to safety in the West. missed opportunities to round out the At best, the successful use of reminiscent of a 1960s lawman with the Not long into the journey, Eli world and its inhabitants consistently setting, atmosphere, gore-saturated dystopian morality of a character from comes across a start-up town controlled break any sense of immersion. A choreography and not-entirely-overdone Mad Max, Washington does a good job by a surprisingly educated man named primary example of this is the abysmal social commentary made The Book of Eli of rendering the venerable Eli in a world Carnegie, who just so happens to have performance from the miscast Mila a refreshing addition to the catalogue of consumed by desperation. That said, ideas of his own, nefarious as they may Kunis as the barmaid Solara. Having post-apocalyptic action flicks. While the as admirable a job Washington does be, for the use of the Bible in this new played the part of damsel in distress on opting out of the heavy use of exposition with what he's been given, character world. Portrayed by Gary Oldman, more than one occasion, Kunis' character to fill in plot gaps is generally a good rule development remains one of the Carnegie acts as a satisfactory, two­ seems to exist solely for the purpose of to follow, raising more questions than primary flaws that lie at the root of what dimensional force working against Eli. clumsily attempting to inject a sense answers, it seems like more than a few makes The Book of Eli,just an average As the story progresses, their butting of of humanity in Eli. This, coupled with bibles were lost to the wastes. experience. heads eventually leads to some of the lifeless emotional outbursts and ridiculous In a not-too-distant future populated more interesting twists and concepts that, moments of uncharacteristic bravado,

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Mattei madness rnndurn rnu•ul Heidi Montag rivals Barbie as a poor influence on girls Canadian actress the most desirable woman of 201 0 By Stephanie Trembath, Fashion Editor

eading ladies such as Kate Beckinsale, Keira Knightly, and L Penelope Cruz are among the top European actresses who remain seductive yet classy. American girls, who include Angelina Jolie, Reese Witherspoon, and Megan Fox, exude so much glamour and confidence that their sex appeal is primarily based on the ability to outdo their competition and wow their audience. Canadian ladies have a slightly different approach, which is probably why Canada's own Emmanuelle Chriqui made it to number one onAskmen.com's Most Desirable Women list of 2010. When asked "What does the modem man look for in his ideal companion?" over 6 million male readers on AskMen. com polled for Little Miss Emrnanuelle from Montreal, Quebec. Easy going, modest, and reminiscent of an older and slightly less complicated Hollywood, Emmanuelle Chriqui made the hot list due to her subtle self-assurance, teasing good humour, and exotic Moroccan features. By Stephanie Trembath, Fashion Editor her profile! All-over-body liposuction Known as the svelte brunette beauty in addition to butt augmentation makes from HBO's Entourage, Chriqui plays biquitous and symbolic figure this doll the skinniest ever so she can eat Eric's on and off girlfriend Sloan, who f every little girl's childhood, whatever she wants! The best part; her most men say is the "perfect girlfriend." hich has evolved to come in all sized DDD cup breasts outdo any Mattei Chriqui's character is playful, cute, and sorts of ethnicities and ages, is Mattei's or Bratz doll! constantly looking out for Eric, which are infamous Barbie. The original blonde­ This Barbie is a bit pricier than a few characteristics that Chriqui plays so haired, blue-eyed babe first appeared with Mattei's typical toy; at $30,000 in new­ easily that many men find attractive. an 18' waist and stood 5 foot 9.ln 1963 and-improved procedures, this Barbie is This year Chriqui is currently working Barbie was sold with a book entitled How set to launch her own album in addition on Elektra Luxx, which is the sequel to to Lose Weight which advised "Don't eat," to her TV show in order to cover her the Hollywood film Women in Trouble and was later accompanied by a small addiction to plastic surgery and shopping. written and directed by Sebastian pink bathroom scale which claimed that Her album titled "Superficial" is explicitly Gutierrez. 110 pounds was the ideal body mass. representative of everything this doll However, by 1997, huge controversies encompasses. With a broad shouldered, surrounding Mattei's doll and the major tanned skinned male version of Ken to health and body image issues Barbie attend all theA-list celebrity parties with, promotedMattel to create a wider this life-sized Barbie has nothing to worry waistline and more contemporary fashion about. At only 23, she has her whole life designs. ahead of her to carve, nip, tuck, dye, and Mter surviving harsh criticism and enlarge; not even Mattei can keep up with recent competition from the Bratz Dolls, this brazen babe. Barbie has someone new to contend with Her triple D cup breasts make in 2010. This newer version of Barbie her most desirable to men, so she has Textbooks bought and sold, new & used, walks, talks, shops, and comes equipped marketed herself well in targeting both onrine buybacks. with her own small toy poodles and even genders. A famous quote by this new Ken! She's the ultimate life-sized doll Barbie is that she wants the "Best me Buy, sell, rent at with blonder hair and smaller thighs; even possible" in her obsession with herself. cheapbooks.com (260) 399-6111

guys like to play with her! With a chin Mattei is so 2009 and Bratz are extremely espanol (212) 380-1763 reduction and fat injections to her cheeks passe. This year, young girls everywhere urdulhindi/punjabi (713) 429-4981 and lips this Barbie's smile is bigger will be vomiting up their food, pouring See site for other support lines. and better! A mini brow lift and Botox copious amounts of chemicals onto their injections allow for tighter skin and less skin, and saving their waitressing tips to creases in her fake tan! Complimentary buy the Heidi Montag boobs. nose job and face lift show off her shapely And we thought a doll that quipped Angelina Jolie cheek bones and highlight "Math is hard" was a bad influence. 10 fashton

_11eceotlheWeek. The Snood

By Stephanie Trembath, Fashion Editor Stella McCartney, Marc Jacobs, Burberry, and Missoni. Knit with soft cashmere and other fine wools, the snood ypical of a fashion item that's been brought can be edged with fur to allow for a bit of outdoorsy back, the snood made its big debut this fall flair, or pinned at the chest with a pendant to hold it T and into winter of 2010 for the first time since in place to add glamour to your outfit. In softer tones the early 1920's. Originally worn as a type of hairnet such as pale blues, soft creams, light browns, and olive women put over long hair and knitted either with greens, the snood is a versatile and uncomplicated piece loose yarn or knotted lace, today the snood has been to put together a polished outfit. For a more dramatic transformed into a more modern and cutting edge look, the baggier cowl necked snood in rich reds and fashion accessory. This winter the snood is worn black portrays a more medieval trend that looks very over the head and neck, and acts as a scarf or slouchy much like you belong in a Shakespeare play and, when hood. At first this unique garment was only worn by worn appropriately, looks incredibly modish. motorcyclists and skiers, and was sewn with tightly Snood dresses became a big hit this winter; long knit fabrics , but later as there were more modifications knit skirts with the long cowl necked snood in the made, the snood became one of the most sought after front and hood at the back. Cinched off at the waist pieces on the catwalk. with the belt and paired with a pair of tights and boots, Despite its ridiculous sounding name, the snood the snood dress is another classic piece to add to your has been featured in major designer labels such as wardrobe.

The sex addict Part one of a two-part series exploring why men and women treat relationships so differently

By Stephanie Trembath, Fashion Editor body language and tone of voice. There are three main stages that ver wonder why women get so relationships go through, says Fisher; the first attached while men seem to move being lust, then attraction, and lastly the most Eon more easily? Or why after a one­ dreaded: attachment. In the first stage, sex night-stand, guys get a high five while girls hormones are primarily targeted, but during are left tearfully watching the telephone? the second phase scientists believe that three I am limiting myself to stereotypes main neurotransmitters are involved. here, but it is a common knowledge that men In feeling attracted to someone your are more capable at keeping sex separate body increases its adrenaline and cortisol from emotions and continuously sleep with levels; which are also activated during times someone they have absolutely no feelings of stress. Clammy skin, racing heart, and towards. Ladies, let's be honest here; it is lack of speech around your crush are all not in our routine to go out and "get laid" on due to adrenalin. Dopamine levels are also the weekend. To the guys I am offending, I activated, which provide an instant rush apologize in advance-there are exceptions of pleasure that has been likened to doing to every rule. copious amounts of cocaine. Serotonin is Though more passive and emotional, the last neurotransmitter involved, which is in our day and age it's not unlikely for a responsible for cognitive functions such as girl to ask a guy out and be the pursuer, but memory, and causes you to constantly be females still struggle with a very large part thinking about your new love interest. of relationships: sex. If you sleep with a guy A study done by Dr. Donatella Marazzi, too soon, then you're a slut. If you don't who is a psychiatrist at the University of sleep with a guy soon enough, you're a cock Pisa, Italy, tested the brain mechanisms of tease. Creating a balance between foreplay couples who were in the beginning stages and leading someone on may be difficult; of a relationship. She wanted to see if the especially when you like someone and have a hormone levels of the couples were in any rush of endorphins. way related to brain functions of those with This isn't even the main issue; the real obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). problem ensues once women start having Marazzi was successful in her research as the sex. As the saying goes "men are from Mars, serotonin levels of the couples matched those women are from Venus," and this is certainly with mild OCD. true when it comes to the psychology of Marazzi's studies proved that when in the brain, and the hormones and chemicals a relationship some people actually develop stimulated when in a relationship. low levels of obsessive compulsive disorder Helen Fisher, Ph.D from Rutgers over their partner. This could be one reason University in the U.S., has published why girls analyze and dramatize everything, numerous scientific articles on sex and or maybe why men become stalkers; however relationships with a focus towards the these are only the first two stages which biology of love and sexuality. Her studies affect relationships. To find out more about show that it takes exactly 90seconds to four the third phase, and how men and women minutes to determine whether or not you like are stimulated differently pick up The Other someone, with the majority having to do with Press next week! 11 By Kristina Mameli, News Editor crack] finds us, gets us addicted to crack, then all the lot of killing to be done," he said almost disturbingly other stuff happened. Ever since then-25 years; it's been passively. "And unless we improve our navigational t's been 25 blistering years of interplanetary insanity, like an eye blink," Urungus said. abilities, I'm afraid we'll never conquer planet earth. If but one thing's for sure: the legacy of the kings of Urungus, chewing beef jerky and chain smoking, I can't find Japan, how can I destroy it? I mean, if there I kitschy thrash will remain intact long after the band was extremely cordial and nonchalant for the supreme were enough places to play we probably would play succeeds in getting the intergalactic drug trade back up overlord of the universe, and he was happy to be back in every second." and running. Hours before a sold out show at the plastic- Canada. "If we could get that time machine working then we sheathed Commodore Ballroom, The Other Press sat "Canada is a thriving cesspool of fucked up Gwar could go back and tour 1992," Balsac the Jaws of Death down with Oderus Urungus, the mighty leader of Gwar freaks who demand their Gwar," began Urungus. "They piped in. and ruler of Earth, to discuss the impending destruction really put the United States to shame at a lot of these "Yes! The time machine! I'd forgotten it," said of the human Urungus. race among other • • . . • But the real thin s. "You see, Cardmal Sm has stamped out all crack cocame m outer space and Earth IS the only place where I question: why gWhether can score. So, being completely addicted to crack cocaine, needing it to live, I'm just stuck here until we can 1992? you happen to figure out how to get crack back into space. That's our goal now: to distribute the rock." "That's the be familiar with -Oderus Urungus year of Hannah the mythology Montana's that surrounds birth," said Gwar or not, you can certainly appreciate their relentless gigs." Urungus, alluding to the possible need to destroy her. touring schedule, astounding attention to detail and sheer Gwar has toured the world over, with the sole aim of "I'm a huge Hannah Montana fan," said Balsac, dedication to the world they, with the help of their fans, systematically destroying the planet. Though, as Urungus stifling that notion. "I would however, destroy Miley have crafted through music and performance. Urungus revealed, the band is directionally challenged, something Cyrus. That buck toothed red neck whore has been riding and guitarist Balsac the Jaws of Death concisely summed that greatly hinders its ability to do so. "All of my on Hannah Montana's coat tales for far too long." up Gwar's storied past. destructive efforts have basically been in Am;ncaiillQ. "We can't tolerate it," said Oderus . "Born for war,joined the Master Scumdog Legion, Canada. Talk about having trouble getting somewhere, --.....__ Love of Hannah Montana and hate for Miley Cyrus fucked up so bad, was loaded into the Butt Cannon, we can't find Japan. It's just one little island out there in aside,~ours that the Lust In Space tour will be Gwar's shot to Earth, killed the dinosaurs, mated with the apes, this big blue blob ... we've destroyed Pago Pago so many last have tie<:n-.eirculating for some time; but Urungus created the human race, sank Atlantis, banished to times I can't count. In fact, they're just calling it Pago quickly put a stop to any such thinking. "We like to Antarctica, frozen solid, millions of years went by, ozone now." dangle that in front of everyone's faces just so they can layer depleted, hairspray metal, Gwar thawed out ... take Urungus attributed the difficulty of vanquishing reflect on the misery they'll have when Gwar is gone," it Balsac." places like Japan to the fact that Gwar is forced to travel he laughed manically. "It brings me delight. For right "Sleazy P. Martini finds us, turns us into a rock band everywhere on foot. "We can walk across the bottom of now the human race is safe. You see, Cardinal Sin has and we conquer the earth. Done." the ocean or use our Jesus boots and walk on the surface, stamped out all crack cocaine in outer space and Earth is "He skipped the crack part. Sleazy P. [who invented but there's a lot ofthe world left to conquer. There's a the only place where I can score. So, being completely

12 addicted to crack cocaine, needing it to don't make up anything; this is all real. live, I'm just stuck here until we can This is where Gwar has a leg up on figure out how to get crack back into bands like Lordi and Slipknot. They're space. That's our goal now: to distribute emulating Gwar, but they're just people the rock." dressed up as monsters." A quarter century down the line, Further to that shocking truth, Gwar's stage show continues to improve in 1993, Gwar was first nominated with each tour. To mark its landmark for a Grarnmy for the film Phallus In anniversary, the band has continued its Wonderland. The band was not welcome admirable touring schedule, put out a new at the event, but chose to go anyway, record and a boxed set, appeared on FOX allegedly leading to huge brawl with News and released a Christmas single. security. "I believe the guy who played "Everything we do is special," said Captain Piccard got a black eye ... and Urungus. "We're Gwar! When we take a there was some spilt champagne and crap it's beautiful.. ." some hurt feelings," said Urungus of the During the show, the band is catastrophic event. "If that's debauchery, notorious for slaughtering effigies of then I'm Mary Poppins." public figures while spewing green and Recording any Gwar album is quite red goo on the audience. Who Gwar the ordeal. "[There's] yelling, screaming, chooses to take issue with seems to fighting, smashing equipment, blowing vary from show to show, however. "If up large sections of real estate, dead I tell you who we're mutilating and producers, crucified catering crews, and sodomizing and murdering, then no finally music. Rocking ... then back to that one's going to have any fun, except other stuff for awhile, then new album." me," snarled Urungus. "We're definitely Lust In Space is Gwar's ll th going to kill the president because that's studio album, an effort that as Urungus just a Gwar tradition, and let's see, who described is "simply magnificent." else? A lot of intergalactic assholes ... According to Urungus, the band's Gwar has hooked up with an unnamed inspiration comes from the events of their celebrity who recently died who was the everyday lives. "Fighting giant robots, biggest pop star ever-we're giving him smoking crack, running into our old another shot. I'm not going to say who it general at intergalactic truck stops-" is, except his initials are MJ., but I can't "It's really an album for everyday

"ff we could get that time machine worlcing then we could go back and tour 1992," - Balsac the Jaws of Death

really leak that information .. . he will be people doing everyday things," corning back to do a final performance interrupted Balsac. for the human race." "This is how we grew up," chimed A select few Gwar fans, those in Urungus. "We're singing songs about willing to pay top dollar, are privy to the streets; trying to keep it real." special "meet and beat" sessions with the As the band increases in popularity, band before shows. "You have to pay a Urungus maintains that the human race lot of money to get back there," revealed doesn't get it at all. "Some of them do, Urungus. "It's just a ploy designed to and those are the Gwar fans, but the great sell these tour programs we've got and majority of the human race is far too it's working splendidly-of course, stupid to understand the nuances and the motivated like everything else by complex subtleness that is Gwar." money." When asked if the band is currently At an official press conference in writing, Urungus explained that though Montreal , Urungus mentioned that the Gwar hasn't written a single note yet, HlNl epidemic is in fact a government they already know exactly what the conspiracy. He offered some interesting album will sound like. "It's basically social commentary on the subject: "It's walk into the studio and just plug in. lame. I mean so many more people die of Done. Balsac just has to touch one button cancer and AIDS, why are they worried and the album will instantaneously appear about this? People should die anyway. I in record stores everywhere." mean, they're supposed to die. Instead of Urugus explained that though it's these government centres where they give just that easy, when coupled with the out vaccines, let's go to the government lengthy process of getting there, it could and get diseases. You can sign up for all take several years. "We're going to get those social programs and get free drugs out it in a year. We're going to try really and free money-the more people are hard for all those retard kids out there, sick, the better the country does." we're going to try ... " Gwar thinks of themselves as Gwar's latest, Lust In Space, is now historians rather than storytellers. "We available from Metal Blade Records. 13 Knowl,on Knows Newspapers becoming old news The world of traditional print publishing is nearing fatal collapse. Part two of two looks at an industry heavyweight-journalism.

ather reads the daily morning newspaper and chats with hi s son at breakfast. "Wow, did you hear about iger Woods? He allegedly had an affair with some Knowlton Thomas bartender. Look at this." His son stares at him long and hard, raises an eyebrow, then leans back with a shrug and a laugh. "Dad," he says,

"Twitter should render newspapers as useless as a Styrofoam brick. Right? Well ... there is another side to the story, a key element that print papers still boast exclusively."

placing a hand of pity on his father's shoulder, "Ten affairs have already surfaced, including voice message and phone text evidence. Have you been living under a rock? I've been getting real-time updates on my iPhone from Twitter. Get a life, old man." The father weeps softly. As obnoxious as the dad's son may be, he does raise a valid point-print newspapers deliver most news considerably slower than real-time online social networks such as Twitter. With incidents like the Balloon Boy hoax, and more recently, Tiger Woods' surreal thrash of dirty affairs,'IWitter delivers the goods. Not only does it feed readers information first , it also provides real-time updates, allowing people to follow news as it unfolds. This concept is both helpfnl and thrilling, and should render newspapers as useless as a Styrofoam brick. Right? Well ... there is another side to the story, a key element that print papers still boast exclusively. This element is the honest authenticity of factual discussion. While Twitter may pump out real-time updates around the clock, consider the sources. An uneasy blend of low quality online news services and basement-dwelling rumourmongers. True facts do come through, but followers must be careful in filtering out the junk and sifting through mere rumors. And often, before any legitimate facts are unveiled, multiple waves of entirely false information crash down on Twitter's shores. This can be inefficient, not to mention tedious, for people wanting the cold hard truth. With traditional journalism, facts are triple-checked and reporters ensuring maximum accuracy is the sole current running through each article. This higher level of truth enables readers to relax; no sifting or filtering. H they want to relay information or develop an opinion on the matter or event, they can do so with the assurance of good old-fashioned factual backup. The act of discussing the news in traditional print journalism is vital as well. There is little value in a three­ sentence blurb of freshly surfaced rumours without pillars of supporting evidence. A lot more can be said for articles that include relevant background information, attach details, and tag on reputable sources as a stamp of factual quality. While reading the morning newspaper may feel like a primitive act nowadays, it can still offer a lot of value. And even with Twitter and the concept of real-time feeds on the rise, print journalism's purpose, albeit now narrowed, still stands strong.

14 Drawing a line between exercise and addiction

By Noreen Mae Ritsema -The Manitoban be more insidious, however, are the psychological aspects of over-exercising. Also known as compulsive WINNIPEG (CUP)-As most gym junkies can attest, exercising, this phenomenon is considered an the gym gets noticeably busier in January. Not only addiction and has been categorized alongside eating are more people visiting the gym trying to purge the disorders. excesses of the holidays and trying to compensate for Compulsive exercisers often lack clear fitness missed workouts during holiday gym closures, but goals and tend to work out longer and more frequently there is also a spike in new members joining the gym. than necessary. It has been speculated that people who You know it's the new year because you are compulsively exercise are addicted to the chemical blinded by all the shiny, white new runners being reactions in their bodies caused by exercise. sported by people determined to start exercising. You Interestingly, it has also been found that many also know it's the new year because your favourite over-exercisers have skewed opinions about their exercise bike that you use at the beginning of every bodies, often perceiving themselves to look heavier workout is being used by one of those people than they actually are. This is the same distorted body wearing shiny white sneakers. perception that fuels many eating disorders. The good news, or at least the truth, is that by The psychological aspects of compulsive the end of January most of those new running shoes exercising are also a matter of a person's perspective will be sitting at the backs of closets under piles of on their exercise regimen. The general guideline clothes as people realize how much work a workout indicating whether you are exercising too much or actually is. It is unfortunate, but at least you get your not is reflected in how high of a priority you place bike back. on exercise. You should be concerned about over­ As we welcome a new year, so many people exercising if you prioritize workouts over friends add exercising to their list of New Year's resolutions. and family. Another sign may be if your friends and That is important and ambitious, but for some people family are concerned that you exercise too much. it is also possible to exercise too much. Remember, exercise is only healthy when it is not If you do go to a gym often enough to have L------' taken to an extreme. pieces of workout equipment that you affectionately incidences of injury. Any or all of these signs translate to Ideal bodies that are unrealistic for the majority consider your own, it may be time to consider what of people permeate the media and it is not uncommon it means to over-exercise. to see women reading fashion There are both physical and magazines featuring ultra-thin psychological components to "The good news, or at least the truth, is that by the end of January most of those models at the gym while they work over-exercising and both are new running shoes will be sitting at the backs of closets under plies of clothes as out. Perhaps this common scene complexly related, exposing people realize how much work a workout actually is. It is unfortunate, but at least shows a correlation between the the difficulty of actually you get your bike back." media's glorification of thinness diagnosing the problem. and compulsive exercising. What Physically, symptoms that is not so easy to see is the line indicate that you are putting your body needing you to exercise a little bit less. between healthy exercising and too much pressure on your body include consistently These physical symptoms can be obvious and over-exercising. For some people, it may be time to take sore muscles, sleep disturbances, lack of motivation, intrusive indicators that you are over-exercising. Your a step back and evaluate which side of the line we find decreased appetite, sudden weight loss and increased body is literally telling you to slow down. What can ourselves on.

Don't take your studies for granted

full-time job not so long ago. Because so much time is already being devoted to work, Firstly, most full-time jobs consist of a minimum there is little time for these extras. 40-hour workweek-the typical nine to five . While some At post secondary, you are submerged in an students may be required to spend 40 hours a week on environment aet for learning. On a daily basis you have campus, I am going to assume that this is the exception the opportunity to interact with like-minded individuals rather than rule. Not to mention, rarely do students spend and discuss events, theories and practices that are very five days a week on campus. 40 hours a week may not relevant in the world that surround us. You are constantly t has been almost a month since the start of the sound like much, especially if you are getting paid, but learning about new things. The purpose of your post­ winter semester and like so many other students I am this only represents the time spent at work and does secondary years is to educate and enlighten. Whether you I finding it hard to get back into the groove. Course not include the time it takes to travel to and from. Most spend 10 hours or two hours a day at school, this time is readings are starting to pile up and I cringe at the thought people live a fair distance from their place of work, some devoted to the development of your mind. Post secondary of looming essay assignments and exams. The countless having to commute one to two hours in each direction. In is a privilege not a right and should never be taken for hours that were spent researching, studying, and reading the end, you may wind up devoting ten hours a day or 50 granted. last semester seem like distant memories. The thought of hours a week to work. This is a considerable amount of So the next time you find yourself procrastinating another investment of countless hours seems tedious and time,leaving little time for the extras. and neglecting your studies, remember the years at post I sometimes find myself dreading the thought of school. Working this much might be fine by you, especially secondary are invaluable. You have the rest of your life I am sure that at one point or another, we have all if you're in a job that you enjoy. However, many jobs to work. Take this time and enjoy it and above all else­ whined and groaned about going to class and having to require repetition of a series of what can sometimes be don't take it for granted. do piles of homework. Some of us can hardly wait until monotonous tasks. Regardless of if you like what you we are finished school so that we can get on with a full­ do, having to do it over and over again is going to get Fuming? Nodding? Tell us what you think; contact time job. While a full-time job can be nice, especially if old after a while. Unless you have a job that encourages opinions@ theotherpress .ca with your opinions about this you're looking to make money, it's not always what it's you to move up in the company,learning new things and or any other article cracked up to be. Take it from a guy who held a mundane educating yourself is left up to you, on your own time.

15 Making sustainable sexy New government funded programs aim to make B.C. a leader In sustalnablllty.

By Trevor Dore, Opinions Editor Last week, Metro Vancouver importance and potential of the new one for fish and community stewardship announced that it has partnered facility: "We look at wastewater as a at Kanaka Creek in Maple Ridge; one he stuff that you and I flush with UBC to open a new Centre of resource ... not a problem." This is the for sustainable food production at down our toilets and drains will Excellence at the Annacis Island message they hope to pass on to future Colony Farm in Coquitlam and one for Tbe the focus of the new Annacis Wastewater Treatment Plant in Delta. generations. Technologies have been cultural response to nature at Pacific Centre of Excellence. The idea is to The $9 million project has successfully and are being developed to remove Spirit Park. make "sewage sexy." Not many of use been launched with the help of a $3 nutrients, nitrogen and phosphorus from The importance of developing give much thought to what happens to million contribution from the federal the waste and to generate electricity by sustainable initiatives that partner with the stuff that we flush down the drain; government. burning the methane. educational institutes to enlighten however, wastewater is an important The new Centre of Excellence If sewage treatment does not excite and inspire upcoming generations is consideration for a sustainable future. aims to find new ways of using and you, perhaps one of the other Metro crucial. In a world of finite resources, Many places around the world and treating our sewage. In an interview Vancouver planned sustainable academy creativity and innovation in addressing some in Canada don't even treat their with The Province newspaper, UBC will pique your interest. They have issues of sustainability and sustainable wastewater before flushing it out and civil engineering professors Eric Hall planned one for potable water in the technology is paramount. into the environment. and Don Mavinic emphasized the Lower Seymour Conservation Reserve;

New Year Financial Health Makeover

By Grace Neptuno

ew year, new start. With all the focus on changing your health (or unhealthy) patterns, N why not give your finances a little detox as well? The following tips could help you on your way to a healthy financial makeover. But just like with any healthy makeover, the rewards found aren't just in the pounds lost but in the healthy habits gained:

1. The B-word: Like any healthy-eating resolutions, you will need a plan of action. This goes the same for a healthy financial makeover. You will need a plan, a.k.a. a budget. If you hinged a bit on your spending during the holidays, it's okay. A budget helps keep your spending trimmed to a healthy size. Don't worry that you didn't stick to your original budget last semester. The new year is a good time to start over. Set a goal like, "I will save $500 by the end of the year."

2. Write it down: A food journal allows dieters to track their calories. Keeping a spending journal will pairs of jeggings when you clearly needed none. Go much needed encouragement during those tough also help you track your dollars and cents; a bagel slow. Avoid the spending binge by budgeting for fun times. The same goes for a financial makeover. here, a coffee there, cigarettes, movie rentals-these too. Just be sure that the amount budgeted isn't out Tell your friends and family that you're trying to items add up. Use a small notebook and track your of control. be more conscientious about your spending and spending for a month, write it down every time you share your financial goals with them. Chances give up some money. At the end of the month, take 4. Avoid temptation: Just like you would avoid a are, they may be in the same boat but just felt too a look at where you can make some cuts. Friday night burger in order to stick to your healthy embarrassed to talk about it. eating plan, avoid financial cheating by steering 3. Planned spending: We all know about the dangers clear of the shopping mall. The fluorescent lighting, 6. Reward yourself: Dieters are always being of crash dieting and extreme workouts. Killing the swarms of post-post-post-Boxing Day sales encouraged to reward themselves but not with food. yourself at the gym, starving yourself all day signs, the aroma of one too many Fruits & Passions This holds true for your financial makeover too. If then eating a piece of cheese isn't the healthiest scent samples, the Mac and Sephora Goths are there you set a goal of saving $500 by the end of the year, option-we either pass out from hunger or eat the to Jure you into their stores and to take your money. take your $500 and put it towards your tuition; that's entire block of cheese when no one is looking. This a little less Joan to worry about next year. Or move goes the same for a financial crash diet. Cutting 5. Enlist help: The reason there are things such as it to a higher-yield TFSA. Just like with exercise the out all the extras from your budget leads to a save­ Weight Watchers' Clinics, personal trainers, and goal is to create a habit, with finances, the goal is to then-splurge cycle, wondering why you bought six friends is so that you can stay on track and receive create a habit of saving.

16 New parking tax a necessary evil

By Trevor Don~. Opinions Editor social impacts of the automobile are system is crucial to the downtown all well known, yet we continue to business district. t the beginning of the month, pour money into bridge construction In the end, it always comes down taxes on "off-street paid parking and the widening of roadways. A to the big picture. In the past, urban A lots" in Metro Vancouver continuation of this bigger is better development has favoured the car. That increased three times to 21 per cent. The philosophy will result in a future is no reason to say that we can't change money generated from the tax will go where a parking tax increase will be now and start planning for different to TransLink to help fund public transit the least of our worries. modes of transportation. Although and the construction of new roads and Currently, public transit reducing spaces for cars may generate bridges. Many citizens and downtown throughout most of the Lower conflict in the short-term, if we continue business and building owners are Mainland is seen as unreliable, to build more roads, bigger bridges and outraged. They claim that the tax is just uncomfortable, and very slow. add parking spaces, the problem will another money grab targeted at a select This general perception serves only continually get worse. Bigger and group of commuters. Some business only to compound the problem. As Vancouver to go shopping, but after wider roads lead to more roads - it's a owners have even formed a coalition to more people opt for automobile travel, multiple trips confronted by congested vicious cycle. The problem needs to be "Drive out the Tax." congestion increases and the problem one-way roads, absent parking space addressed. Land-use and transportation I can understand that no one wants only becomes worse. As a cyclist, there is and outrageous parking prices, I now use planners must work together to to spend any more money than they no better feeling than whizzing by a line opt to take public transit. It may take a minimize travel distances and encourage have to. Wages in B.C. are arguably not up of gridlocked cars. Perhaps, if people little longer, but the SkyTrain stops in alternative forms of transportation. While adequate to keep it's never too late to make up with the ever­ "The environmental, economical and soc/a/Impacts of the automobile are all well known, yet we changes to future plans, we increasing cost of continue to pour money Into bridge construction and the widening of roadways." must up-date and manage living-especially what we currently have. in downtown Vancouver. Perhaps the using public transit were given this same multiple places in the downtown core This, however, does not come without current state of spread out communities feeling every time they took the bus or and I have always enjoyed walking a cost. Increasing the cost of downtown in metro Vancouver is not ideal for public rode the SkyTrain, transit use would rather than driving around downtown. parking stalls will generate revenue for transit, but something must be done. increase. Personally, increased parking stall prices public transit infrastructure and reduce The population of Metro Vancouver We have to find ways to make will not deter me from visiting downtown the appeal of the automobile. is projected to increase significantly public transit more appealing to the Vancouver; it will just further deter me Everyone is looking for a solution over the next couple of decades. If this general public. We need to develop a from driving there. Have business owners but nobody is willing to pay the price. population growth is met with a transit safe, convenient, reliable and comfortable forgotten that transit users are consumers system that favours the automobile, we public transit system. Unfortunately, it's as well? While it may not work for Fuming? Nodding? Ttll us what you think; contact are in for a real mess. not going to appear out of thin air. everyone, a properly functioning transit opinions@th£otherprtss.ca with your opinions about this The environmental, economical and I used to drive in to downtown or any other artie!<

Attention Douglas College Students!

Copies of the Other Press,s Audited Financial Statements and minutes from its Annual General Meeting_ are available to be viewed by all Student of Douglas College.

Our office is located in Room 1020 at the New Westminster Campus.

E-mail [email protected] with any inquiries.

17 New coach for women's soccer

By Garth Mclennan, Sports Editor is also the general manager of the USL Super Y League's "Absolutely, I'm really excited about it [the hiring]. Coastal WFC. He also knows how to win championships. It's an excellent opportunity for me. They show a ton of he Douglas College Royals women's soccer This past season McMahon helmed the U16 Coastal potential and I've heard a lot about them. My brother program revealed their new coach after several girls squad to the 2009 North American Y League title. plays on the men's team and so I've heard a bit about T weeks of speculation over the winter holidays, McMahon has been coaching professionally for over 15 them." The new coach said. and Ciaran McMahon is the man charged with the years and attended UBC in his youth, where he obtained On the team's less than stellar finish in the standings task of trying to lead the Royals on the path back to a double bachelor's degree in education and mechanical last year, McMahon stressed the importance of creating a respectability. engineering. winning environment. The Royals endured a difficult season in 2009 "Douglas College is very fortunate to have Ciaran "Right now I'm just taking stock of where exactly where the young team finished tied for last in Pool A McMahon join our Royals coaching staff and we the team is at and focusing on recruitment. I can say that in the BCCAA standings, managed just four wins over are confident that he will ensure an elite-competitive this will be a professional program and that commitment the course of the 12 game schedule, will have to be high. The onus is going to failed to qualify for the provincials "Right now I'm just taking stock of where exactly the team is at and focusing be on them to perform and on me to get championships and were largely on recruitment. I can say that this will be a professional program and that them to perform. overshadowed by the success of the commitment will have to be high. The onus is going to be on them to perform "It's exciting on my part to be men's team, which won provincials and and on me to get them to perform." -Royals' new coach Ciaran McMahon on involved and to be with someone like competed at nationals in Ottawa. With rebounding from a disappointing 2009 season Dean Howie, who has just created a really the departure offormer head coach great environment. There will a level of Randy Taylor, McMahon will look to commitment that maybe wasn't always settle things in the upcoming year. atmosphere that will permit student-athlete success both there before." "I hear that he comes in with a lot of experience," in the classroom and on the field and will enhance the No matter how poorly the team performed last says sports science professor and golf team head Coach student experience," director of athletics and campus life season, McMahon's hiring has to be treated with a degree Gert van Niekerk. Dean Howie said in a press release at the announcement of enthusiasm. Anything is an improvement from last Experience is certainly something that McMahon of McMahon's hiring. year, and with a steady hand in place to guide the team, has in spades, and he brings a winning pedigree to a During an interview with The Other Press, things are indeed looking up the Royals. program that is desperately trying to get back on track. In McMahon was charged up about his hiring committed to addition to his coaching duties with Douglas, McMahon getting the Royals back into a winning state of mind. Say hello to the bad guy Which UFC superstar should headline the first event in Vancouver?

By Garth Mclennan, Sports Editor after his UFC 100 victory. After knocking out Mir, a charged up Lesnar, clearly channelling the showmanship ith the path finally clear for UFC to make it's spawned of his old WWE days, proceeded to taunt his way to Vancouver, thanks to an at last logical fallen foe, flipped off the incensed crowd, buried UFC's W decision from city council, rumours have been sponsor and then told the media just what he planned to swirling as to just who will be headlining the card when do with his wife later that night. Dana White's wildly successful promotion makes it's Now, regardless of what you think of Lesnar, and Western Canadian debut in June. there's little doubt that he isn't exactly Wayne Gretzky The most prominent of those names being bandied in the sportsmanship department, there's no question that about- and also the most credible if you subscribe to the man gets people talking. He's a marketing machine Vancouver sports talk radio-is that UFC's resident that a whole company can be built around. Just consider powerhouse and undisputed heavyweight champion how diverse and varied his athletic background is. It Brock Lesnar will defend his title for the first time. reads like something out of an action movie: a fabulous Lesnar won the belt from Frank Mir back in July at the four year NCAA career with the University of Minnesota UFC 100 extravaganza, but since then has been stricken where he was a two time All-American and a national with a case of diverticulitis, a common digestive disease, champion in wrestling with 106 total victories and just and has therefore been unable to defend the UFC World five losses; a superstar run with Vince McMahon's Title, despite several attempts at rescheduling. WWE that saw him rise to the top of the company as UFC has been fighting to land an event in B.C. for it's world champion and a Wrestlemania headliner in years now just two years; a and with memorable pre­ the legal "What Is safe to say though is that If anyone can make an impact season with the hurdles when UFC finally does come to GM Place, it's Brock Lesnar." NFL's Minnesota finally Vikings that saw cleared him just fall short up, there's no doubt that White will want to put on one as a final cut and now an already storied UFC career that McMahon protege, and who creates larger-than-life hell of a show and prove to everyone here who doubted has seen him become the company's cornerstone and characters better than Vince? him just what UFC is all about. While nothing is set world champion in just over a year. Plain and simple, Now, the other name being thrown around is in stone, Lesnar is tentatively set to return and be fully that's an amazing athlete, and he's still just 32 years old. Canadian, and UFC Welterweight Champion George recovered around that time. With all of that history, coupled with a bombastic St. Pierre, who would also be a massive hit here in What is safe to say though is that if anyone can personality and a love of both the camera and the Vancouver. make an impact when UFC finally does come to GM microphone, this is a guy who can draw money, who can Who would be better suited to headline Vancouver? Place, it's Brock Lesnar. Despite his relatively short draw fans and can convince people to buy tickets, pay­ I think most would say St. Pierre, but I'd go with Lesnar. MMA career so far, he's already established himself as per-views and merchandise. Sure, he may be a jerk but Who knows though; come June, we just might get to see one of the sporting world's most controversial figures it may all be an act; after all, Lesnar is a former Vince both. 18 ... ~ ~ ~,..~ ~S POR S~ Is Sidney Crosby actually overrated?

By Garth Mclennan, Sports Editor So maybe people are a little burned in last year's playoffs, where he proved out by it all. Maybe all the Gatorade beyond a shadow of a doubt just how veryone acknowledges that Sidney and Reebok commercials, the non-stop good he can really be when the pressure's Crosby is one of the NHL's following of him by the entire hockey packed and the lights are on bright. Epremier talents and best players. world no matter what city you live in and There was no lack of grit or There's no doubting his on-ice talent and the heart-warming Tim Horton's ads have toughness from the Penguin's captain. his ability to produce points on par with everyone a little bit tired of Sid the Kid. There was emotion, for sure, but no the very best in the world. "Sure, Crosby's good, but he's whining or complaining to the referees But despite Crosby's consistency, no Ovechkin," or "Yeah, I guess he's like we saw in Crosby's early years in the his crowded mantle stocked with NHL good, but he whines a lot, and he dives, NHL. What replaced that image was an scoring championships and MVP awards too." Those are just a few of the general iconic version of the 22 year old battling and his captaining of the Pittsburgh responses you'll get if you ask for an madly each and every game, putting up Penguins to the Stanley Cup last opinion on Crosby. Heck, I used to 15 goals and 31 points during the most year, Crosby doesn't seem to get the subscribe to them myself. The thing is, physically and mentally gruelling time of recognition or respect from most fans, or they just aren't true anymore. the year and hoisting the Stanley Cup on at least, not on the same level as guys like Sure, Crosby may be a little bit basically one leg after a thrilling seven­ Alexander Ovechkin or even teammate overexposed by the NHL, but when it game duel with the dynastic Detroit Red Evgeni Malkin. comes to what he can do on the ice, he has Wings where Crosby sustained a damaged Crosby already has 33 at last count and is Maybe it's the tremendous hype proven time and time again why he's the leg after a crushing body check from tied for second in the league in goals. we've been exposed After dramatic to about Crosby for runs to the Cup finals years now. After "'Sure, Crosby's good, but he's no Ovechkln,' or 'Yeah, I guess he's good, but he whines a lot, and over the last two years, all, since the Nova he dives, too.' Those are just a few of the general responses you'll get If you ask for an opinion on Sidney Crosby has proven Scotia native was Crosby. Heck, I used to subscribe to them myself. The thing Is, they just aren't true anymore." himself to be not just a 15 years old, we've generational talent but been bombarded also one of the best and with a seemingly endless stream of one getting all of the attention. Everyone Johan Franzen. fiercest leaders in hockey. He's coming to highlights, reverent talk from all of is familiar with Crosby's laundry list of This season, Crosby has continued Vancouver in a few weeks as an integral hockey's television experts and a massive awards and accolades, and there's no his maturation. Whereas in previous years part of Team Canada's entry at the 2010 promotional push from the NHL, who sense in repeating them here, but what he has never exceeded 39 goals in a single Olympic Games, and it is now perfectly have centered their entire post-lockout really stands out, at least to me, about campaign and has always been known clear that he fully deserves everything that image on Crosby. Crosby was his remarkable performance more for his passing skills, this year comes his way. .-.. ~ ~4~ ~8 PDR·•·S~

Samuelsson sticks it to Sweden

By Garth Mclennan, Sports Editor said that the Swedish officials responsible for selecting the team could "Go fuck ho says Swedes can't play hard? themselves", and that he wouldn't be Mikael Samuelsson is interested in joining the team should an W certainly proving that stereotype injury open up a spot for him (although he wrong with his fiery level of play since Team recently seemed to backtrack on that, saying Sweden announced their Olympic roster. that he wouldn't speculate on it if he was Before the roster was revealed by asked). Swedish head coach Bengt-Ake Gustafsson, Immediately after being notified that almost everyone considered Samuelsson to his services weren't needed for Sweden, be a lock. After all, he won gold with the Samuelsson went on a tear that hasn't Swedes at the 2006 Olympic Games in Turin, subsided yet, snapping his slump by posting and then repeated the feat that summer when six goals and nine points in a ten game By Garth Mclennan, Sports up against a Floyd Mayweather or a Editor Derek Jeter. Now, I know that for the few "They can go tuck themselves," hat does ESPN, and competitive eating fans out there (let's -Mikael Samuelsson, on the selection committee for Team Sweden up here TSN, put on be honest though, how many can W to fill space as cheap there be?), there is the argument that he played a big role in helping Sweden to stretch. He's been playing with a heightened programming at one or two o'clock in the eaters, no matter how heavy they gold at the World Championships. He was le-xel of intensity and in 49 games now has 16 the morning? Aside from things like may be, have to go through rigorous brilliant in both competitions, but particularly goals, 17 assists for 33 points, and is proving surfing and bowling, you also have a training to get there bodies in shape so at the Worlds, where he posted nine points that Mike Gillis made a good investment in pretty good chance of withessing the to accept that much food. To be fair, and four goals in eight games as one of the signing the 33 year old to a three year, $7.5 spectacle of competitive eating. there is probably some merit to that. team's leaders. million contract this summer. That's right, competitive eating. It is most likely very true that the He was unavailable for Sweden during While Samuelsson didn't click with the It may be more than one sports average person couldn't consume half the next three years as he was busy helping Sedin twins, which was what was expected network, but is it a sport? Let's take of what those guys do in one sitting. his Detroit Red Wings to deep NHL playoff to happen when he joined the team, the a look. However, while it may be extremely runs, culminating in a Stanley Cup victory in right winger has had no hesitancy to shoot There's clearly competition, as difficult to take in that much food, 2008 and another finals appearance last year. the puck, his 150 shots lead all Canucks, the name suggests, in eating contests, that doesn't make it an athletic So despite all that international and and that's with ice time that is far from the regardless of how unique it may be. accomplishment. NHL success, Samuelsson was left off of highest for forwards on the team. There's a good measure of endurance Team Sweden for the 2010 Games? Why? A With all of this, Samuelsson has required, because, you know, shoving THE VERDICT: prolonged 14-game goalless streak was cited played his way back into the Swedish all those hot dogs down your gullet Just because something is hard by many as the primary reason, but if that roster consideration, and Gustafsson might takes a lot focus not to vomit it all up. doesn't mean it's a sport. Acing a was the case, then why was Fredrick Modin be forced to put him on the team if Peter That requires just as much toughness math test it exceedingly tough, but it included on the roster in his place? Modin Forsberg and a few others aren't able to make and determination as the linebacker in is isn't an achievement in athletics. has missed pretty much the whole year and it back from injury in time for the start of football, right? The same goes for mastering cooking has a grand total of one goal so far. Is that the Games. Both sides will have settle some And hey, those guys are true blue or fixing a computer. Being able to Olympic worthy? simmering differences to make that happen, athletes, aren't they? Okay, that one is eat a ton of food very quickly may After getting cut from the team, but if Samuelsson's play is any indication, it more than a little hard to stretch into be classified as a skill, just like those Samuelsson was obviously-and will have to happen sooner or later. credibility. I mean, it's pretty hard to other things, but it sure as hell isn't a understandably-pissed off. He eloquently match some 300 pound trucker with sport. three chins and ridiculously wide gut 20 •..: ~ ~...e.~ ~JJ.S POR· I ·S..._

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21 (H'···. ~jjJm

Little Joe I Ellen Kim

Adventures of Aquarius and Beaverbrook I Angela Espinoza

Salutian 1 6 1 15 9 8 3 ··-4 7 2 1 6 4 9 3 5 8 2 7 5 2 7 6 8 1 4 3- 9 3 4 9 1 6 8 7 ' 5 2·- 7 1 6 2 5 3 9 4 8 8 5 2 7 9 4 3 6 1 6 19 1 3 2 7 5 8 4 4 7 8 5 1 6 2 t9 13 2 13 5 8 4 9 1 17 6 22 If you could have any superpower, what would it be? By Maria Asselin-Roy, Photographer

Joann Kenny Adam Noble CathyPham General Sciences Associate of Arts Sports Science

'7 would have the power ofphotosynthesis , because ifs my dream "Flight, so I can fly for free, and more importantly, skip airport "I would wve to be able to tum everything I touch into Skittles, to have ch/QropliJsts that work!" security." because I love Skittles."

"Break dancing away the winter blues." "The cast of Savage In Limbo before their performance last Wednesday night"

23 E u

REE PillA & Wings!