WAR2 Interviews with the" stars in the special magazine

Incorporating juice magazine Guardian! NUS Student Newspaper of the Year March 14,1997 Vol 27: Issue 18

Inside: Historic interview with the Prime Minister

PLUS: CLARE SHORT, RICHARD DAWKINS, HOWARD MARKS On red alert for Outrage at nose job

COMIC capers hit the citv Hulas - and it's all in aid of charity, irn/o Diilni liluck. Many local businesses insensitive' are taking part in the fun anil sliidents will join in too. Lvcnts ate taking place at LMUSU's ' Kirkstall Breweries Bar as well as special nights across the city. This year the noses which are furrv and come with a lollipop inside - have proved a big hit with Leeds uni gun club students. "I haven't got one vet. By MATTHEW GENEVER hut I'm going to - and all decision not to lake action "insensitive". mv mates have them." said ANTI-GUN campaigners have second vear English student adding: "We felt that we just couldn't have Richard ('oope. condemned a university gun guns here anymore." As well as the noses, club for refusing to lay down A spokesperson for the Gun Control Network. monev is being raised by the set up in the wake of the Dunblane shootings. sales ol Animamacs T-shirts their weapons a year on from commented: "This is so insensitive, (inns are lethal and special red nose lottery the Dunblane massacre. weapons of destruction and shooting clubs just scratch cards. Local parents and students added glorify gun culture. The union should listen to the For the more red- students in Leeds and shut the gun club down." blooded. The Body Shop art- their voice to calls from national Lesley Jones, Sports officer at LUU. defended selling kissing kits which campaigns for the LUU rifle and pistol the union against the growing tide ol criticism and include lipstick and a snog club to be shut down. said it would not bow to pressure to ban shooting bv log. to keep a record of vour students. "We don't feel that a decision about the adventures. Most other universities around the country future of the shooting elub can be made until we And for the first time, the closed their shooting clubs in the wake of the understand the ramifications of the new legislation - Internet is being used for tragedy. including Stirling University but there is no question of closing il at the moment." people to pledge cash. The Students' Association, which is just a short The club, which has more than 90 members, special Comic Relief distance from Dunblane. Jeremy Lowe, shoots regularly in the-projectile gallery in the website can be found at university sports hall. Members are angry they are RED-DY FOR ANYTHING: Two girls with a nose for a laugh treasurer of the association, called LULTs show off their charity hooters Pic: Sarah Davis www.comicrelief.org.uk. CONTINUED ON PAOE 2 INSIDE: News 1-11, Comment 6-9, Outlook 13-25, Sport 27-32. Plus 32-page juice special magazine LEEDS STUDENT Friday March 14, 1997

THIS column has finally realised it's In a galaxy a lovable rogue - Gary There were so many of them ^LEEDSM (into to a had thing. It could have spent far, far away Bouch? perched on stage you wondered if the last leu years savouring glorious up the road at ()i maybe Bouch has the human cloning had started already. cup finals or waning lyrical about icons LUU to be right dome for R2D2. With a full 10 candidates assembled STUDENT of popular music. precise - an HACK Certainly there was no you were reminded of that lilacktulilcr doubting the C-3PO figure episode featuring the 'Standing At The Instead it's been a diet of sad old assault on A weekly sketch of student politics This week in Britain's trainspotters babbling about Vagner's this week: Robin Van Den Back 1.(Hiking Stupid And Acting constitutions in drcar\ grey rooms dreaded Death Heinle, who has the Stupidly Party'. award-winning student where ihconly signs of life are Star was meanwhile being planned. capacity hi translate several million The speeches ran the full gamut cobwebs and passing tumhleweed. The Socialist Workers as renegade as constitutions, maintained a flat fix tin mediocre to mindnumbing - newspaper of the year So this week it would be tar more any bounty hunters and just as good expression throughout as he intervened Yoda's riddles would have been ,i fun to write about Star \Vnrs instead. looking - had put down a motion at this w nil pedantic [mints about the rules bellylaugh by comparison. These were Three classic movies about to hit the week's Ordinary (iencral Meeting for and regulations. Never has Threepio's .ledis w ith a long way to go in their sil\ ei screens again without so much as LUU to support the anti-Vaguer soubriquet of Protocol Droid' seemed training: "I can't really add much to an anorak in sight. Imagine it things campaign. What more force could it sii appropriate. w hat's been said already by the other It's your choice: could always be like that. The evil possibly need than Jedi Knights like Without crucial Lwok \otes the candidates." was the central plank of The politicians empire of LMU would be ruled by Bruce Skywalker. Princess I iggy and motion got altered until it was merely most manifestos. Darth Vaguer, dark Vice-Chancellor of Obi-Wan Cosiello to outwit Vagner's hot air - Darth Vagner is hound to be It was fighting talk like that which want you but do the Silh. w hose Death Star has already security slormtroopers'.' quaking at the thought that R2D2 is finally won Darth Vaderover from the you want them? demonstrated its firc|xnvcr In But Princess Tiggy lacked the bleeping at him angrily. Dark Side. Perhaps one day student pages 4-5 destroy ing an entire faculty. k'istincss of her screen counterpart, The final chapter in this saga was politicians like these will realise the I .ord Vagner's crackdown on the arguing it couldn't be done because of hustings for the sabbatical office of humanity buried inside them and student protesters would have to be ultra v/Vrv - they're not allowed to use union Services officer. Return of the he similarly redeemed, but COMMENT described as The Eimpire Strikes Hack, LUU cash to support somebody else's Job-1 - as in 'I'm desperate for a job until then this column although not c\ en he has stalled thing. She needs a good talking to from next year' - we were presented with a cannot escape its destiny: Spruced up Spice: chopping off hands with a light sabre in Han Solo, whoever that might be - a motley crew ol candidate^ with all the The Farce will be with you. Always. David Adam on why order to crush the Rebel Alliance. cix)l maverick, a handsome gunslinger. charisma of a fleet of X-wing pilots. that Brits dress is the FACULTY CLOSURE BACKED BY LMU GOVERNORS Girls' biggest hit GUN CLUB page 9 Outfoo* OUTRAGE CONTINUED FROM PAGE ONE being placed in the same The John category as Dunblane murderer Thomas Hamilton, who gunned down 16 children and their Major Wagner clamps teacher on March 13 last year. One regular shooter, who wishes to remain anony moiis. said: "We interview slnxit as a sport inside a gallery. Just because one madman The British Prime misused guns it doesn'l mean Minister talks to the rest of us will. I feel sorry foi the parents of the Dunblane student media for the kids, but you can't paint first time ever-only everyone with the same brush." down on demos Parents of children at Leeds in Leeds Student EMBATTLED Grammar School, across the pages 16-2O road from the university Vice-Chancellor campus, were not convinced by Leslie Wagner has shooters' arguments. Anne launched a Williamson, who has a son at the Green Initiative: crackdown on the school, admitted she was "very BY PHIL KERFOOT, concerned" about a shooting 5Ldve legend student protesters EDUCATION club in the vicinity. "You never Alan'on how demonstrating CORRESPONDENT know how responsible the against his people in charge are, and there is he became the actually told Leslie always a risk of weapons getting cutbacks. Wagner he can do what he into the wrong hands." voice of football And in a statement wants but he hasn't even set out what he wants to Threat .the LMU boss do and he could now implied there would The Fourman Day Nursery quash any protests he on the university campus has be more cuts to doesn't agree with." implemented a series of new His criticisms were come, saying "there safety measures over the past will be matters in the echoed by Marie year, including new perimeter future that are far Stimpson. the LMU fencing. Nursing Supervisor representative for the Carole Cialdas said: "I just more challenging to teaching union NATFHE: worry about the threat of guns." the university than "We are clearly opposed Student opinion was heavily the issue of Health to any victimisation that in favour of closing down the may occur as a result of gun club. Finalist Emma Halton and Social Care." action" Wagner has branded said: "I don't understand why as "unacceptable" the Collapsed people want to shoot. It's not a demonstrations over sport. Ifs disgraceful that this is Plans by the protesters still going on in (he university." the closure of the lor a mass student march l-resher .loeri Roose agreed. university's F-aculu of into Leeds on Wednesday "I know (hat not everyone who Health and Social Care, alleinoon collapsed and shoots is a potential murderer, criticising them for the event had to he SECURITY: Protesters are stopped in their tracks by guards at hut if closing down gun clubs ON THE HORIZON "disrupting the work of saves just one life, then surely shelved. Campaign LMU as they try to storm Wagner's office Pic: Sarah Davis with Stevie Sunshine other students and organiser John IVarl it's worth it. "1 hope it won't dislressinu university blamed a lack of co- lake another Dunblane for Saturday. After a cloudy start it will get staff." ordination due to the people to realise that guns have brighter during the (lay. Max. union's preoccupation The Wagner war so far no place in modern society, and temperature: 8C (46F). with last week's sludenl especially not on a university Power January 31: Plans to disband LMU's Faculty of Health and Sunday. A dry start with some rain elections. campus." He has now been But the demonstrators Social Care to save money are first announced expected later. Maximum temperature SEE COMMENT. PAGE SIX 8C(46F). given absolute power by are determined, not to the university's Board of February 19: Student protesters siomi Vice-Chancel lor Outlook for the rest oj the week: back down and have Governors. who vowed to continue their Leslie Wagner's o'Tice demonstratinu against the closure. Showery weather with temperatures supported his criticisms, They are hacked by teaching unions NATFHE and UNISON below average. campaign. to take disciplinary action A spokesperson for the HAVE YOUR SAY ,AV'eutherc;ill Regional forecast I)8U I SOU 4 I 7 / against the protesters and student campaign against February 24: LMUSU lends its support to the campaign, Is the gun club right determine the fate of the the cuts said: "We think giving it a base in their offices. Protesters .main occupy faculty. the Governors have not Wagner's office to go on shooting? A LOAD OF BALLS LMUSU President acted etlectively. I'hev Our look at the Wednesday lottery numbers Simon Calfrey attended have washed their hands March 28: Protesters stage a huge demo in Leeds centre ^^ ^fe ^fc. "'"'"'JB» j^ ^^ the meeting and was ol the whole affair and outraged by then have given Wagner the decision: "It's disgraceful. March 11: Wagner gains Board of Governors' support and 9 O ww© w power to do what he gels power to crack down on demonstrators And the bonus ball: 12 The Governors have wants." Calk tire charged ill flip per miliiil" LEEDS STUDENT Friday March 14, 1997 PULP FICTION AND KITCHEN FRICTION FOR COMMON PEOPLE COCKER AND COOK DISH

UPTVFAMBy TIM GALLAGHER, CLAIRE BOORMAN & JAMES BANDY E nervous about appearing on television. "I just treated it as a bit of fun, really." said the wannabe popstar. who's taken a year off from his studies to concentrate on his music career. "Matthew Kelly was a star. He's really funny which puts ASTROPHYSICIST you at ease it you're nervous. Gareth Dickinson is He's just a really, really niee man," he added. used to seeing stars - Gareth stars alongside a but tomorrow night Tom Jones lookalike and a he'll be appearing as Paul Heaton from the Beautiful South in tomonow's one. heat, where he belts out the POT LUCK: Trish and Sally meet kitchen king Kevin Gareth, 22, a student Pulp smash hit Common Can't Cook Won't Cook. at Leeds University, is to People. after a friend applied to go feature on ITV's popular Granada TV chiefs sent a on the programme on her tape of the show to Jarvis. who Star* in Their /iw.s show apparently liked what he saw. he ha It'. as Pulp frontman Jams 1'nder the watchful eye of Cocker. Interest TV chef Kevin Woodforde and pal Sally Armstrong. Gareth was originally to "There's loads ot interest in I appear as his pop music Trish whipped tip a tasty it." said Gareth. "l'\e even coconut meringue, heating hero Freddy Mercury. But been approached to front a A HOPELESS student when he heal 40,000 others Pulp tribute hand." chef who couldn't tell the offering of her rival who to get to the heats a However, the l)i\« she panned as "absolutely a food mixer from a useless". Granada producer di\a wants to concentrate on coffee machine has suggested he would make a his ow n band Bingo. "I could •'I was chuffed to he on TV." hetter Jarvis. make a lot of money in a been toasting victory said Trish. "but it was a hit tribute hand." he said. "But I'd after appearing on a nei\c-wracking before filming Thin rather stick with Bingo. I do started. The meringue was the find myself slipping into top-rated cookery best thing I've ever made. I was "I went there wearing a Jarvisisms on stage though." show. on such a high after I'd done it." Pulp T-shirt, and I'm preii> he added. Kitchen shy Trish Despite this success. Trish is unlikely to create too much of a thin so I guess I do look more II he wins the heats Bromilow, a second year like Jarvis than Freddy." tomorrow night. Gareth will stir in the world of cookery admitted the sweet-voiced go onto the Grand Final later politics student, donned she thought the food processor student. in the year. her apron to cook up a she won was a coffee machine STARRY EYED: Gareth proves a smash hit after wowing Matthew Kelly Gareth claims he wasn't storm on BBC I's popular with his Jarvis impression Screen singers WORSHIPPERS at a The idea to film at the played " varying greatly from week to college are appearing college over Lent \\us made He was pleased with the week. hy former TASC stn way the filming was carried This could he due to the fact on television in a now working at the BBC. out: "The wh. is to that those w ho w is] special religious minimise the disruption." he Principal Dr (ierald said. "It da) and then turn up at programme. Turnhull was contacted, and inconvenience hut we have S..i() on Sunday monm, Students at Trinity and was more than happy with managed lo work aiound it. the '' 30 live broadcast. One All Saints have had the roposals. • unisly \ery pi student echoe.i Igs of He said. "We have st iff that opportunity get at the coverage we many w hen he said "Theii were foimer BBC emplo 1 fur It that themselves on TV on the The BBC d us " unday morning." BBC's Kingdom Come, a broadcast vv ho It would appear that the • still a tew religious programme on read, who was interviewed and on Irom students has services left and Dr Turubull Sunday mornings. what hymns and music were been mixed, with turn-outs ;es that anv earlv risini! MASS OF THE DAY: Weekly broadcasts are boosting college profile Pic: Nathan Thomas 4 LEEDS STUDENT Friday March 14. 1997 A SPECIAL LEEDS STUDENT REPORT Vital votes at

VOTING BLANKS: Last week's LMUSU AGM at Beckett Park attracted just 100 students, rendering it inquorate. Pic: Nathan Thomas hopefuls seek

By NAVEED RAJA LOW TUKNOUT LOCAL parliamentary candidates are desperately trying to woo the crucial youth vote - but the vast FOR KEY POLL majority of students have parties offer hardly any choice The Labour party declared itself APATHY and pixir publicity \\ere blamed placed candidates failing to launch a serious never heard of them. between them, it's no wonder that happy wilh the results, drawing a for low turnouts at the two most important challenge. I-'resher Sieve Waters, backed A special Leeds Student they fail to inspire students to take an comparison between the tally (breach interest in national politics when there evenis in the LMUSU calendar, un/o Suj Jeans. survey shows that less than candidate and national polls. The Chowdhury. He said: "I voted Jerome Jeans for is no debate for us to enter into." Liberal Democrats rejected the Polling in sabbatical elections \\as President, basically Ivcausc 1 agree with his half of all students are Under half of students polled said findings of the poll. attended by far fewer voters than in recent views on course cuts and he stands for what intending to vote, severely they intended to vote and all parties "They do not match up with our years. And in ihe same week the LMUSU is important." compromising their collective saw this as "disappointing." and urged private polls, and voters would do AGM was attended by just 1(X) students. Jim Evans, who was re-elected as VP electoral strength. students to register and vote. 19.5 per well to remember that it was the The university population, in excess of Communications, bemoaned the lack of cent of 18-25 year olds are not on the Liberal Democrats who came second Political awareness is at a low electoral register, four times more 10,000 full-lime undergraduates, sent a clear student interesl in the election. with apathy peaking, illustrated in 1992 in Leeds North West," said signal and voted with their feel. "I think most students are more interested than any other age group. The final Barbara Pearce. Patricia Bridge, a Chemical Sciences and in gelling their next drink, but I do wish more by flagging electoral registration registration date for a May I election The seat has been held by Keith Languages, fresher commented: "I didn't of them would get involved in the union's levels in spite of initiatives such as is March 20. Hampson since 1983 with less than 50 know the elections and the AGM were on activities." 'Rock the Vote.' per cent of the vote due to the split in and I wouldn't have bothered to vote even if On winning the eleclion, Evans explained Candidates for the three main Apathy votes between Labour and Liberal 1 had known." how his campaign strategy gave him a parties acknowledged that the Keith Hampson thought student Democrats at the last election. Jerome Jeans, studying a four year resounding victory polling 358 votes: "1 students of Leeds 6 could apathy was due to a lack of events "The student result is interesting in Design and Technology course, won the produced flyers, put up lots of posters and significantly affect the result of the they could relate to in the public that it reflects the national mood; to position of President by a resounding 344 talked to as many students as I could. upcoming general election. Labour domain. "After the worldwide get rid of the Tories. The electorate is votes to a second placed Debbie Jack's 79. "I think next year's Exec will want to challenger Harold Best said: "The recession people concerned realising Labour is the only choice as An ecstatic Jerome said: "It feels fantastic. I continue where this years' Sabbaticals left students in Leeds North West are vital themselves with their own jobs and it has in every local election since think I'll be bkxxly good at the job." off as concerns faculty cuts. We must raise as they make up such a large body of financial conditions, there was 1992." said Harold Best. Other winning candidates achieved ihe profile of the union to our students which interests and they can create a swing." nothing like apartheid or even the poll Pearce retorted: "We were second victory in a similar way, with the second is very important for the future." Incumbent Conservative MP Keith tax to stir up emotion and inspire last time and can be first this time out Hampson agreed: "The student vote is political involvement." if people realise the situation within a substantial vote - whether or not However civil engineering finalist the constituency." they hold the balance depends on the Simon Gaskell offered a more voting of the rest of the electorate, but traditional explanation for the low Majority they could play a decisive part." figure. "Students are only in Leeds for The constituency lias 72.(KX) The Conservative party achieved a Five sabbatical positions were decided at LMUSU in the elections. These are the full about seven months of each year and majority of 6.000 at the last general eligible voters. 13.000 of which are don't see it as their home. All results of the voting. Congratulations lo them all. students, who could play a pivotal election. In every local and European transitional populations arc like this, election since then. Labour has won President: Jerome Jeans 344 votes role should the election be held on not just students: it's hard to care for a Max I in term time. the Headingley ward with the Liberal VP Administration: Michelle Oxley 264 votes place when you know you \\ill be- Democrats coming second. VI* Beckett Park: David Brown 327 votes Scramble gone in the not loo distant future." Registration is still possible unlil VP Communications: Jim Evans 358 votes Questions about support for the next Thursday to vote in a May 1 VP Education & Campaigns: Danny Perkin 325 votes The recognition of the power held different parties among students election. Registration claims must by the transient population has led to a elicited various responses. A reach the electoral office by this date. scramble for candidates to attract the spokeswoman for the Conservative Further information can be student xoie. party said: "We don't normally relate obtained by calling the electoral office Barbara Pearce. Liberal Democrat to opinion polls, only the general 247 6726. WHAT DO YOU candidate, said: "In contrast to other election counts. There is a different parties xve arc committed to the extra atmosphere around and the electorate funding to prevent (he need for lop up know that their vote will be electing DO WITH YOUR Ices or student debt. We would add the government they have to live one penny lo income tax to he spent under for the next five years." on education, hoxx xvould the other SPAKE TIME? parties do what they propose'.1" "Labour's priority is student \\eltare." said Harold Best. "Our aim is to stop the poverty of students. Tony Blair has said that the number one priority of a Labour Government would be education, education and l new. in .mil education. We look out for young people's fuiure as we realise they are tomorrow \ Britain." Keith Hampson hit back loi the nur Kccrmir: Mtnu-iit i Tories, saying: "The Conserx alive Government has made higher education available to iccord numbers, now one in three young 570 people liaxe the opportunity to go i All siudic- with the Rt>'. ;e ot'Plnsicians university. Our dynamic enterpris cuinomy has one of the lowest leve of unemployment in Europe, allou in giaduales the scope to get on in life THE DEVELOPMENT SERVICES COMPANY The party rhetoric did not impres most students. Harry I Bicklcr. politics postgraduate said: "Th LEEDS STUDENT Friday March 14. 1997 ON THE CRUCIAL CHOICES FACING YOUNG VOTERS stake as Parliament Campus coppers POLICE presence on campus has been welcomed by students. to win your backing write* ./nil Diihriitliinnw A local police officer will be based permanently on the Leeds I muTsiu campus from April 4. following talks between security chiefs and police at Millgarth. The move comes alter it was decided that extra security would be needed to combat street - To reduce all tax rates with a robberies and car crime. target base rate of 20p. PC Glen Brady will act as a point of contact fur staff and MINIMUM WAGE - Against it on students at both universities. His principle, believing it would adversely aim will be to reduce crime on the affect business and lead to job losses. campus and the surrounding area and provide better links between EUROPE -Single currency decision to be police and students. r made according to the economic climate at "At the moment there are too time of proposal. Reject the social chapter. many non-students hanging around the university area WELFARE- Private pensions to be phased in. partially paid for committing crime." he said."Our via tax relief. Claimed that people starting work today can expect aim is to try and make it a safer a pension of £175 a week in current terms when they retire. environment for eseryone." An ex-student himself. Brady \ main rule will be to target specific offenders and pass on information to his superiors about the son ol offences that are taking place around the university. TAXATION - To keep tax rates at the Kirsty Wilson, a first year present levels and eventually aspire to a broadcast journalist, said: "It target base rate of I Op. sounds like a gcxxj idea. It'll make me feel a lot safer when I'm MINIMUM WAGE - Would implement it at walking home late from lectures." a level yet to be set. An independent pay PC Brady's rule will come commission would advise on the rate. under review after three months, but Chief Inspector Sarah Sydney EUROPE - Would sign the social chapter to said there was no reason it increase workers rights. Single currency decision to be made at shouldn't be a permanent the time of implementation on the economic climate of then. arrangement

WELFARE - Personalised benefits system with each claimants case to be assessed separately to help those in the most need. Lurker alert at uni flats RESIDENTS at the James Baillie Flats have been told to lix>k out TAXATION - A Ip increase on income tax for a suspicious young man to pa> for increased education spending. lurking outside their homes. writes Hen Hniwu. MINIMUM WAGE - A commitment to a Police do not think that there is minimum wage but one set regionally .is a connection between this man part of wider devolution plan. and a recent spate of muggings, hut many of the residents say they EUROPE - Committed to joining the have seen him hanging around. social chapter anil a referendum on joining His technique is to approach the single European Currency. students in a friendly manner. engage in small talk in order to get WELFARE - Would put 5p on a packet of cigarettes to allow their names, and then return to the free eye and dental checks and the free/.ing of price-- toi Hats later claiming to know the prescriptions at I he current level. BAR-ROOM POLITICS: Leeds North West MP Keith Hampson in the LUU Old Bar during a recent students. Once inside he is free to break into rooms.. visit to drum up support among wavering student voters. Pic: Fiona Trim A photograph of the man has been put on the notice hoard at the 85% Hats site office. 57% 6% Cheap Travel THE annual Roger Stevens travel bursaries awards application forms are currently available from LUU. 15% Forms are available from the porters in the LUU foyer, but must be returned to them by the end of term. The bursaries are available to non - finalists who are going travelling in the summer Do you know who your MP is? Will you vote in the election? How will you vote? vacation. LEEDS STUDENT Friday March 14, 1997 A YEAR AFTER DUNBLANE, THE FUTURE OF BRITISH GUN SPORTS REMAINS UNRESOLVED STUDEN£ i i i i ^^mmI [j:ftl\ Snulrnl is an indir|ieMilciil newspaper serving sUulenl^ .it I .wits Mi-lnipolilan I .'Diversity. Leeds I'mu-iMiy .mcl mhei colleges in and anmiul I .^v>K Ml ''in journalists ahuk- In a cinic.- ot conduct, hut il UHI ha\c an\ problems, please contact the hJit < ommcntv contiihutioMs and helpful criticism are m\ ited

Editor David Smith Dunblane: what Deputy Editor Beii I vast Juice special Editor Willem Jaspert SECTION KDITORS Arts C'laiv Lister Justin Penrose Lauren Pushkin Books have Spike l.iiulcn 'riiiiriiton Clubs Sarah Monk NickO'Meallj BY ANASTASIA Comment Sue Barnard Kale Bmgham DINNIS, LUU Fashion ards Vv'illem .laspcrl RIFLE AND Jcnni Jones lenm I.oils Features PISTOL CLUB FIREARM: A I jnma Al-.limuuli sport to some, a C'hris I eadbeuler dangerous Mike Pllan/ weapon to others Katy Regan ITH the OKmpic and World title) Mow is Britain to compqte Listings anniversary international!) in future Joe Dim me W of the This chin, and others Music Dunblane tragedy facing financial insol\et: Owen Gihson when the extent of the Piers Martin coming up and the firearms hill finally bee Chris Mooney government moving clear, and we are not aloi to ban the ownership Man\ gunsmiths and de; News have already or are about to Tim Gallagher of all fullbore Ahhic Jones calm down, including a Andy Kelk sporting handguns in exiablished Leeds firm. Shira/ l.alani the United Kingdom, will cost the taxpayer in Navced K, excess of t:.S()(l million. sporting shooters are Our club stands to lo! Pictures facing the gravest of many thousands of pounds Willcm Jaspert worth of equipment. Is i Deputy attacks upon their Sarah I)a\ is that in a free society, pai civil liberty. that society is told that i Politics Should the actions of chosen sport, and in mat Tina Burrett one deranged individual cases its livelihood, is tc Jacob Hickey mean that the freedoms outlawed, and that they Should foot the bill?!! T is now a year pistol) is a government ploy to A rise in club membership Production of the other law-abiding Many hundreds of people spend less on compensation costs should not deter potential Steve Cooper shooters in this coountry are killed every year by cars since the horrific payments for guns and that the enthusiasts, knowing they are Tony Keaveney massacre upon the loss of all other pistols means paying for a safer environment. Oliver Quinn be curtailed? Yes, so say Have they been banned? I the politically correct it Deaths by knife attacks are on school children of an end to the manufacture of Football has not gone out of Science seems. the increase. Has the .22 pistols which are used in fashion even though tickets to David Adam government banned the Dunblane. What Olympic shooting. a match cost a fortune. A lot of Alex Kihhle The 91 members of the attackers' favourite weapon, should we as However, these arguments money is spent in Formula One Barry McKenum I.UU Rifle and Pistol club the kitchen knife? responsible citizens are not concerned with the simply on safety measures - for here are to be classed as main issue of public safety. the driver as well as the Sport do in order to prevent Zoe Feller madmen, and forced to hy then should we, They merely argue that spectators' benefit. Alex Gubbay continue their sport like who are deemed another event like increased regulations will be Paul Wilson pariahs. These people, W responsible and sane that from happening? expensive. Is money not he Dunblane massacre Total Football whose degrees range from enough to own handguns by It is a difficult question irrelevant when we consider was executed by Kofi Ohene-Djan Chinese to Electrical the police who issue our that the lives of people would Tsomeone who was firearms certificates, be to answer. The proposed be in less danger? qualified to handle a gun, but Television Engineering are not Joe Dim me suddenly told by politicians gun laws are under a lot The government is far front how were we to know he madmen. on an electoral bandwagon, ami guns in terms of sport. would abuse his privilege? Ross Horsley They are all dedicated of scrutiny, especially Matt James that we are no longer thought There is no doubt that shooting This is where the crux of the sportsmen and women, many 1 from those who are in Jenny Wood to he sale .' Have we changed ' is one of Britain's major spoils matter lies. How can we gauge of whom have represented Have we all gone suddenly gun clubs or shoot for a and something the British if a person is responsible Travel Leeds University at Christie hobby. But they are people are proud of. as they are Cup and national matches, mad? I think not. enough to own or use a gun? It Tamsin Martin Why then are we being necessary precautions to traditionally of rugby, football would be unfair on both us and Jo Youny and some of whom ha\e even risen to he national team made to pa\ the price for the ensure that a gun is not and cricket. It is doubtful that the gun holders involved to failure of a government the government would make character judgements. Video (iames memhers. Most will hecome s\siem? Lord Cullen stated. "1 handed to someone who Tim East pillars of society and s of their is obviously not capable jeopardise a British Olympics A little more understanding fields in industry and do not consider that the team in such a highl) respected nedds to be shown towards the DEPARTMENT HEADS banning of handguns for of owning one. commerce, yet the) are all sport. laws which involve pragmatic told that they are not target shooting or the banning Gun club members argue It is also about time the gun action, which are a Business Manager of shooting clubs would be clubs accept their compromise, and which do not Helen Whilenak responsible enough to own or that il will cost tax members use a handgun for target justified" Furthermore, no anil gun clubs a great deal responsibility lo spend the particularly damage the sport? one has e\er denied that the large amounts of money on It could e\en he detrimental to Editorial hotline: shooting. to heighten security in clubs \Vc should he proud of present law s would have if tlie\ are to he the centres security which would be the future ol gun clubs if the) (0113) 243 4727 prevented the Dunblane required should the laws be do not support or work with the Advertising hotline: Britain's shooters. ,is tor for fire arm storage. main \ears the) have tragedy if the) had been finalised. For a sport to be proposed bill. The government call Helen Whiteoak on correct!) enforced In the The other opposition raised competed on the international recognised and popular is working in consideration of (0113)231 4251 or Chief Constable oi the is that a ban of all pistol nowadays. mone\ does have lo shootinu scene and won shooting (except for the .22 the spoil and for the safei) ol 0850 488 S43 SirathcKde !'<> be spent. e\et\ bod) in the country LEEDS STUDENT Friday March 14, 1997 -EM'S PEOPLE The end of term - a time to contemplate those forgotten resolutions. STUDENBLEEDS MTl Dear John: you reply JOHN Major has made history by talking to a student newspaper - and proved the importance of your vote in the General Election. Klsewhere in this issue the Prime Minister tells Leeds Student that education has been a priority for the Conservatives in the past 18 years. He also seeks to persuade student voters thai the bry years arc a success story and deserve to be oted for again. This paper is grateful to the PM for his .villingness to grant an exclusive interview. Hill the (.'onsen-alive retard has in he CMimincd •riliciilly. mill iiiiiny readers will find Major's ir^umenls difficult to accept. When the head of government himself is put under the spotlight it is easier to appreciate the Ah well... there's always next term! mpaci ol (xihtics on everyday university lile. Yet paradoxically, on a local level, the ix-levaiu e seems lost, shown clearly by a I .ceils Student poll which found HrS per com of students did not oven LETTERS TO THE EDITOR know the name of their local MP. This ignorance speaks of a twin failure, both on A bone to pick with heads of state or just disgruntled at the amount he part of local politicians to get their message across and students themselves for lacking interest in of mozarella on the refec pizza? As if MEDIA EXPOSURE wasn't the issues that affect them. // YOU me provoked In the words of John Major incentive enough, there's a lottery-rivalling CASH PRIZE for the best 'hen perhaps it s time to i-onsider iloini; something letter this week and every week. Write to The Editor at Leeds Student, LUU, PO ihout it. Credibility Box 157, Leeds LS1 1UH, fax (0113) 246 7953 or drop by the LMUSU office at City Site. So long as great swathes of students decline (he right to vote then their case lor complaint againsi political decisions loses credibility. Dear Editor, for St John's readers would be N Dear Editor. Some argue that voting is pointless because there Ambulance. remotely interested in s now so little to choose between the main parties. IN RESPONSE to the The bar manager. LETTER such triviality which I ALWAYS read Leeds Smdeiii - it's Then vote fora minor one. Turning your back on the allocations made by who is also trained as a OF THE really does warrant Ms usually full of CV self promotions for the ssues is pure escapism. first-aider called an Lister's favourite "girlie" Aldith Vidal (the WEEK geek element of our student population - Those dissalisifed with Tony Blair's New Labour student hurt in a crush ambulance and Aldith epithet. but in Friday's edition of Juice I thought should ask themselves if they truly want to wake up at LMUSU's Siiiurdtiy Vidal was carried by I am sure I speak for Chris Mooney in 'C'mon' hit the spot. .>n May I to a tilth Conservative Government. : \ ii;hi. following an two members of the majority in saying I Bouncers: I think they're more If not. it is time to net on the electoral register tun! evacuation due to the security staff to the exit Dear Editor, am far more interested in unpredictable and unreasonable than the nake a difference to hrinx tihotit < hnn^e. lire alarm being where the ambulance a serious review of the troublemakers lurking within each pub/ With many students living in a crucial Leeds deliberately set off) that was arriving. I WAS shocked and man's acting capabilities club into which you may venture. constituency, the eyes of top-level party strategists she 'received no first Aldith Vidal has disturbed to read Clare than the sordid details of Last week I went to Majestyk with a are firmly upon them. It's time students kx>ked back aid and is annoyed at been contacted in Lister's disparaging his personal relationships good mind to become happily at them and realised the vital role they can play. not having heard from writing by LMUSU in review of The Crucihle - besides who can blame intoxicated and perhaps 'bump into' (but John Major has given a timely reminder that the organisers': the course of our last week in Leeds Day Lewis, he has not collide with - I'm not that type) a politics does matter, and that students can do Firstly, it is investigation of this Student. Feminism has obviously been corrupted nice girl ic. something about the policies that affect them. important to realise that serious incident and we come a long way since its by wanton anti-feminists I started talking to one such person. Aldith Vidal may have are of course concerned early pioneering like Ms Lister. then a 'bouncer' skinned over and Moke sure you can vote and been far more seriously about her welfare. movement lead by the It surprises me little to threatened to "rip both my arms and legs hurt had it not been for As you stated in your brave and resolute hear the writer's own oft". I asked the young woman what that make sure you do on pollinqTay the actions of the comment, the behaviour suffragettes. flatmate is a screaming was about. She informed me, "He's my security staff who outside the event was I tear Ms Lister hysterical girl, probably boyfriend". I said "Fair enough" and - your one chance to deliver a braved a volatile crowd 'inexcusable' and while showed a lamentable lack driven to these outbursts went over to offer him an explain. He verdict on John Major's words. to pull her out. LMUSU apologises to of respect towards the in desperation that her proceeded to push me and made as if to Once this incident the people affected by women who channelled flatmate should so assault me. had occurred, as slated the evacuation, it is their energies into a more undermine the efforts 1 escaped into the pulsating dance in your article, security important to realise that worthy and productive epitomised in women's . When I complained to another staff felt the necessity to the behaviour of the cause than Ms Lister's week banner-making and bouncer, he said "Nothing to do with The naked jape keep the doors closed minority that initiated indulgent gossipy belly-dancing, made by me". Cra/y. Bouncers - don't (nisi 'em. I R( )M John Arlott's "It's seen its last cricket for the until the police had the trouble will not he journalism will ever be. level-headed feminists Majestyk ain't so hot either. das." to the latest outbreak at a siicxiker tournament arrived to deal with the tolerated either inside or I am also concerned such as myself. Planet Earth next week. Tacky, but a of all places, the tradition of streaking is a proud and situation. However, outside the venue. with the attitude with sale bet. distinguished one. despite all the chaos which she approached the Anonymous Now a mv ster\ man has brought the outside, once she had Daryl Kaye Social rev iew of Mr Day Lewis. MrG phenomenon to Leeds University by streaking past been pulled in. Aldith Secretary (Klcct) What sort of question is L'dilor's re/ilv: \Vhtit i< must Ldilor's re/>l\: C'mon houiicers ' If union leaders want lo surprise everyone they— by three members ot l-'.dttor's rcpls: Well you rogue in talented method be. Whoever said in \aurcritics mid hit hack - so in v/xv//. could be clever and advertise the streaker as guest stafl. one of whom is can't tiriiue \\'ilh that. actor. 1 imagine few feminists were dull'.' speaker at their next general meeting. But there is trained by and works Can \<>u Mditli'.' probably some petty regulation against it. In the meantime. Leeds Student will offer a OWN GOAL: Marvellous Marvin movie uto - flurn to Sport on page T. ! if you can help track the mystery man down Contact Lenses

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the last track world of fashion zooms past, Adam takes a pit stop Write to David Adam, Leeds Student, LUU, PO Box 157, Leeds LS11UH 'Sexy Spice' sparks • n /* 1 • passion tor fashio^^^^^^ n 'HISPERS feel whenever I walk into the half Old Bar or the Sky rack that I've pint are that the wandered onto the set of glass Union Jack is Dynasty. b> You only won it soon going to become done is the "just got out of bearded huge in the world of bed/dragged through a hedge/it bores who because of your look me ages to get these holes don't think fashion. Geri Spice in my jeans look authentic" look. a beer is go-faster stripes girl's dress, not what's Gone are the "who's got the 'real' unless biggest, elompiest. stumpiest you need to inside it for once, has boots' competitions and most pick the been the talk of the tragicalh of all. gone are the toadstools off tabloids for the past haircuts. The stupid haircut is before rapidly becoming a lost art and drinking it. couple of weeks and one which, as students. you There are various designers are should be duty-hound to re\i\e even rumours ready to cash in on the There is still the occasional gentle reader, glimpse of mild silliness around. and 1 must current interest in more at the Met than the Uni. stress these are patriotism. but very little that is of the rumours, that Our national flag, once required parent shocking dark deeds are the proud property of standard. Never mind the aloot in the hairspray with added liposomes clubs of Leeds skinheads, thugs or I want purple mohicans and with students gormless football tans plenty of them. having been with P.V.F.C sprayed If"you're stuck for inspiration sighted across it, is set to become then just liberally mix half a purchasing water bottle of \odka. a couple of dyes over the bar. Now cool. Now students do and your mates poodle clippers this is a gra\e seem to be pretty fashion whilst \ iewing Carter USfvl's matter indeed. conscious these days, greatest hits video. Hey presto. Fashions may labels and designer names you'll be frightening old people come and go but \ THE high-octane procession of advertising hoards that is Formula 1 began another year of danger, thrills and Murray before you can say "oh shit I'll students drinking having carried on where a water? You'll be Walker over the weekend. Despite the ad-breaks, threats of Nirvana T-shirt and Docs never get that job in daddies firm litigation and Damon Hill being made to drive a pedalo, hopes now." telling me that were high that the first round in Melbourne would reinforce left off, and okay, clad my Union Jack motor racing's image as the most glamorous sport in the world. head to foot in latest chic 1 I YEN that last great boxer-shorts And then what1? ain't, but please, please markerpost of a student's are trend) After surviving thirty-odd laps of 2(X)mph corners, chicanes 'style, the T-shirt, is being next. ignore this latest whim. eroded from within. Band T-- and insane overtaking Jean Alesi's multi-million quid, computer YOU WILL LOOK monitored motor was forced to stop for very mundanely running shirts, my hip and swinging out of petrol. Not really very glamorous that and he wasn't alone STUPID AND PEOPLE girlfriend informs me, are dead. in succumbing to everyday motoring mishaps. Eddie Irvine was WILL LAUGH AT YOU. Oh, are all those crap gigs forced out by a puncture, Schumacher repeatedly had to slow If you really want to look endured to get the obscure T-- down to bollock his kids who kept squabbling in the back and if like a flagpole then stick a shirt that no one else had Mrs Hill hadn't held the map upside-down then who knows. pointless? The crushing couple of pieces of string up disappointment of pulling it out your nose and stand on the of the washing machine shrunk roof of your house, it's to super-model size and endless 'TOO many Florence cheaper. hours searching the racks in \ Nightingales, not enough Robin The regular world of fashion HMV for a replacement, Hoods," sang a certain Housemartin and I rarely see eye to eye, but wasted? now taken to hanging around in the Original student fashion and I don't even 1 refuse to wash the car with Oak. Well the lady of the lamp had nothing on send each other Christmas cards. them just yet, the lessons of the chorus line of B-list celebrities and flavour-of- Now I have to be careful here or letting Mum throw away all the-month pop stars who will be paraded on BBC1 I'll just appear extremely old those Adidas ones that were too tonight as the comic relief dead horse is brought out for and sound like your Dad, so tight for me are well learned. another good seeing to. gently does it. No I can't Student T-shirts now must be Yes it raises loads of cash for charity but so does the remember when the campus was branded, labelled or, worst of all, lottery and look what a pile of shite that TV programme all fields or the trains ran on time ironic (yes I mean you in the is. Come tomorrow and the noses will be discarded but I do clearly remember when Hong-Kong Phooey one, please (except for the fuckwits who leave them on their cars a scruffy pair of jeans and a T-- leave and take your dim-witted for months), backs slapped and consciences appeased shirt with holes in was essential idea of sardonic humour with but people will still be hungry and homeless, ooh student gear. you). well into the weekend at least. Combined with an old It is not just the clothes that "You thought you'd like to see them healed, cardigan for him and a pair of are affected by this ongoing got Blue Peter to stage an appeal," or nasty purple leggings for her, a revolution. Alco-pops are in, Lenny Henry to slope off to Africa silly haircut put the finishing noncy bottled beers are essential at the very least. touches to the student look. and Newcastle Brown has gone What happened? Why do I now back to only being drunk from a 10 LEEDS STUDENT Friday March 14, 1997

Sunday Thief returns his In the early hours, a house in \Valmsle\ mail was broken into anil the burglars used a washing OFF YOUR TROLLEY line 10 iransfci items out of the house. The> stole a games eonsole. sanies ,mJ a spoils hay.

Thieves broke into a house in Headingley Lane, stealing a stolen loot tele\ision. hi-fi equiptiient and BY ANNA CARTER, CRIME CDs A COURT has heard CORRESPONDENT how a conscientious thief change of heart and gave it back to CYCLING At ()6IO. a house in Hrudenell returned a watch he stole him. road was burgled and a \ideo after the victim told him Before passing sentence on 16- CRAZY recorder was stolen. year-old Peter Tav lor. who admitted it had belonged to his robbery. Judge Michael LightfixH TWO graduate sweethearts Monday dead grandmother. hit out at the increase in attacks on have raised the cash to fulfil a A student house in Si John's But the victim still needed students hv local souths. plan hatched while they were terrace was broken into. Thie\es studying, writes (Jinn Hill. hospital treatment after being Paul Byron. 26. and Karen I'oreeil a securitv gale o|vn and severely beaten by his Hotspots then kieked down the from dix>i Turner. 28, who met when at attackers. He said that he was aware of Leeds University, are to embark stealing a television, video attacks in Hvde Park and on recorder and a jacket. And this week a judge on an epic 13,(X)() mile bike ride sentenced a 16-year-old youth to t'aidigan Road, calling the crime to Egypt this summer. Monday/Tuesday 18 months in a detention centre hotspots "areas of some notoriety". Their trip - which will take Judge Lighltixit also drew lor the assault. them through Europe and North Between 23.10 and I2(K). thieves attention to the fact that many of the Africa - will have the couple gained aeees.s to a property in The assault Uxik place last attackers are children, calling them October as Leeds Universitv pedalling for 12 months. Churchill Gardens. Woodhouse "little learawavs". The Foreign Office quashed through a rear window. A number student Rhys Davics was walking And he gave a welcome home along Wixx.lsley Road in plans for a circular route around ol'eleetrieal items were stolen message of hope to student victims the Mediterranean as risks to Woodhouse. of crime by promising harsher safety were too high. Tuesday sentences for young offenders in The Mechanical Attacked future trials. Between l3(K)and I MX), a house Engineering and Biochemistry He was attacked by a gang of Students were pleased with graduates considered in Richmond Mount was broken Judge LightfiHil's comments. "I've into through an insecure window, teenagers who forced him to hand motorbiking but costs were tix> been burgled twice m\sell and it's high and they have n

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Flat's better Musty barmaid. Debbie INCHAPELTOWN Philips, from Offerton in Manchester, splashed out A LONE female BY BEN BROWN O.OOO to have her 40 (id motorist was forced to parked outside the Hayfields huohs reduced Crowd love streaking star pub in Chapeltovvn. He went They were so big they kept ferry crack cocaine off. leaving me in the car. anil on bumping into the beer around Leeds after •d some crack off a bloke." pumps. A regular at the Pear stopping to help a The man then made Charlie Tree said "I liked ihem better drive him into the cit\ centre before, it's a waste of stranded driver. where he met up with a group money!" The victim, a student ol fnends w ith whom lie shared who wishes to he known the crack he had scored in the TVavelling cat only as Charlie, was led pub A terrified moggy was away from her house in She tried to remain calm despite fears that the man escued from a lorry in Woodhouse by a man Whittle). (Kfordshire might turn violent if she didn't li was later discovered thai claiming to be a pi/va carrj out his wishes and take the daft wee kitty had crept delivery driver. him back: "1 didn't know whal nto the back of the truck in The man, who is in do. I had this crack-head in Glasgow. 370 miles away in described as a middle aged my car and 1 just wanted to get the lair Scottish glens. Asian, told Charlie that he home." had a flat battery and asked Concerned for her help in jump-starting his ear. Although concerned about A SAUCY streaker stunned She was taken in by the the incident. Charlie has not passers-by when he bared all story: "He seemed really nice reported the man to police, outside the students' union. \\-ritc\ and genuinely in trouble. He fearing that such action might Matthew l.idtl\ looked just like your average lead to some sort ol retribution The unknown man. who came family man." She agreed to by her abductor: "If he finds from nowhere, streaked outside lend a hand restarting his car. out that I've been grassing on the LUU building and ran straight but on getting into the car, the him it could turn nasty. After past finalist Sid Roberts who was man asked her to drive him to all. he knows where I live outside enjoying his lunch. When his brother's house so that he because that's where he first Fare sex he was alerted by the commotion. could pick up a new battery met me. I think it's better if it is he was disgusted: "1 looked up from there. kept under wraps." A Greek cabbie nabbed his and saw this bloke with his knob The Hayfields pub is a cheating wife having sex on out. it put me right off my Suspicious notorious drugs haven, with he sofa after her lover hailed butties." gangs of vouths outside selling done his taxi. Charlie became suspicious a wide range of narcotics, from The streaker disappeared ol the man while they were The love rat asked to be down Cromer Terrace almost as marijuana to heroin. aken to the driver's house. driving along: "He was reall) The police sa\ the) are quickly as he came. edgy and kept looking over his where he let himself in. The mystery now is where the aware of the drugs problem at Cabbie Nico Economou said, shoulder he was really the Hayfields pub, and that masked streaker will display his nervous so I became net\ou.s .is T was livid, so I stormed in pride and jov again. An OGM has they are currently seeking after him and found them at it well. appropriate ways to take action been cited as a possible target for "We didn't actually go to on the sofa." Not surprisingly, him. to counter the sale of drugs. Nieo has now filed for the brother's house because the divorce. next thine I know we were

Beefy bonus Big Issue vendor. Vernon Drama delight MA-LONE RANGERS Burgess won £440 in McDonald's in Birmingham TALENTED thespians are in the Attack after national spotlight this week after ifter he bought the winning meal with £5 he was given in scooping top student drama he street. awards, irmrv Rii-hunt Aur\: Two entries from Bretlon Hall U could be you! College and one from Leeds party night Uni\ersit\ are among the plays Lucky Kate Moran. from chosen to be staged at I lie A NIGHT out ended BY RUTH LEADBEATER Dover, returned a dumped National Student Drama Festival, rollcy to her local in disaster for a the street corner near the Dry with a second LUU production upermarket to get the £1 finalist who was Dock and the savage attack being highly commended and deposit, then spent it on a beaten up. left Palmer with severe held as first reserve. ottery ticket and won £55. Keith Palmer was injuries. His tup jaw was The festival, which takes place broken, his cheek bone was annual!), provides a stage for the leaving Stout/) at smashed and his eye socket Thank you for the music LMUSU's city site in the cream of student talent was damaged. nationwide. Be prepared for one of the early hours of last Will Wollen. director of Fen, itrangest double acts ever! Saturday when he \\as set Severity praised the student dramatists: Tomedian Steve Coogan will upon by a gang of youths. "The standard of entries from ing a duet with Icelandic star The se\ent\ of the injuries meant that the victim has Leeds this year is very high Bjork as the sexy Tony Incident indeed." he said. •'errino as part of Comic required hospital treatment Palmer, whose memor) of and he is expected to return to John Donnelly, author and Relief. director of Leeds University's They will be singing 'A the incident is rather \ague hospital later this month for said. "It happened at around further treatment. entry .4 Short l'la\ About .SVv ami Short Term Affair', very Death. was "absolutely ;hort. in fact, judging by the 1.25am when 1 was walking Keith has urged anyone home. I think they were who may have witnessed the delighted" with the result. "It says iuccess of Coogan's newest a great deal about the quality of :haracter. locals judging from their attack and who has further accents. There were five of information on this incident drama," he continued. "People them in all, aged between to'contact WPC Clarkson at say that Leeds is the London of SPLURGE: A member of LUU's Stage Musicals Society lies on the ground Compiled by about IS and 22/' Millcarth Police station on the North, but it isn't: it's better!" after being attacked by fellow cast members of Bugsy Malone which opens Ruth Leadbeater The scuffle occurred on 241 3056. tomorrow Pic: Willem Jaspert 11 * Professional agents commited to students * Member of UNIPOL code of practice * Quality student houses, most with seperate lounges, central heating, alarms & washing machines * Houses in Leeds 2,3,4 & 6. Open Mon-Fri: 9.30-5.30 Sat; 10-4 TEL: 230 49 49 169 CARDIGAN ROAD LEEDS 6 2 BEDS AVAILABLE COST BRUDENELL ROAD, LS6 1ST JULY £38.50/£35.00 (per person per week) VICTORIA ROAD, LS6 1ST JULY £42.50 BURLEY LODGE TERRACE.LS6 1ST JULY £34.00 BURLEY ROAD.LS3 1ST AUG £45 BEECHWOOD VIEW, LS4 1ST JULY £37.50/£29.50 VINERY ROAD.LS4 1ST JULY £50 ST JOHN'S TERRACE,LS2 1ST JULY BURLEY ROAD, LS4 1ST JULY £35.00 THE AVENUE, LS17 1ST SEPT £49.50/42.50 £42.50 FLORENCE MOUNT.LS8 18THJUN CARDIGAN ROAD, LS6 1ST JULY £45.00 BURLEY LODGE ROAD 1ST JULY £34.00/£29.50 £37.50 KIRKSTALL ROAD.LS4 1ST JULY HYDE PARK ROAD, LS6 1ST JULY £39.50/£35.00 BURCHETT GROVE, LS6 1ST JULY £35.00 £50 MELVILLE PLACE, LS6 1ST JULY £36.00 HESSLE VIEW, LS6 1ST JULY £36/£29.50 1 BED CARDIGAN ROAD, LS6 1ST JULY £39.50/£37.50 WOODSLEY ROAD, LS6 1STAUG £36 REGENT TERRACE, LS6 1ST JULY £39.50 WRANGTHORNE ROAD.LS61 ST JULY £36.50 BROOKFIELD ROAD.LS6 1ST SEPT £70 WOODSLEY ROAD. LS6 1ST SEPT £39.50 MAYVILLE AVENUE, LS6 1ST JULY £39.50/£29.50 BROOKFIELD ROAD.LS6 1 ST OCT £75 5 BEDS BRANK SOME TERRACE,LS61ST JULY £35 ST JOHNS TERRACE,LS2 1STAUG £65 BURLEY LODGE ROAD.LS6 1 ST JULY £35 STJOHNS TERRACE 1 ST OCT £75 VICTORA ROAD, LS6 1ST OCT £45.00 BEAMSLEY GROVE.LS6 1ST JULY £39 SPRING ROAD.LS6 15THSEP £75 KELSO ROAD, LS2 1ST JULY £42.50 HAROLD GROVE 1ST JULY E39.50/E37.50 SPRING ROAD.LS6 1ST JULY £65 SEAFORTH TERRACE. LS9 5THSEPT £29.50 HARTLEY AVENUE 1ST JULY £41.50 SPRING ROAD.LS6 1ST JULY £100 WOODSLEY ROAD, LS6 16THSEPTE37.50 3 BEDS ASH GROVE,LS6 1ST JULY £80 DORSET MOUNT. LS9 1ST SEPT £27.50 BURLEY ROAD.LS3 1ST AUG £65 DELPH MOUNTLS6 1ST JULY £34.00 BRUDENELL GROVE,LS6 1STAUG £37.50 BURLEY ROAD,LS3 1STAUG £62.50 BURLEY LODGE ROAD, LS6 1ST JULY £32.50 HAROLD GROVE,LS6 7TH SEPT £36 BURLEY ROAD.LS3 15THSEP £70 GLOSSOP STREET, LS6 1ST JULY £35.00 HETTON ROAD.LS8 1ST SEPT £37 VINERY ROAD.LS4 1ST JULY £75 QUARRY PLACE. 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LS6 1 ST OCT £36.00/£34.00 VINERY ROAD.LS4 1ST AUG £42.50

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STEVENS TRAVEL If you are RURSARY planning to travel abroad in the summer, working on educational or development based projects, then this tel. 231 4221 applies to you... or email welfare@union with enquiries we can help towards fund ng > your prOjGCI which need not necessarily be course related. You will need to collect the list of guidelines and an application form from the Porters and submitt it tO exec no later than Friday 25th April. inside: profile 14-15 politics 16-23 science 24-25 Friday March 14, 1997

AMED alter ilk- world famous Bradford theatre N(or possibly the other \\av round) the Moorish Palace of the Alhambra is Spam's most stunning building and its greatest tourist attraction. You could suy il was perfect. Overlooking Granada on a spur of the snowy Siena Nevada, the Alhambra's carved Koranic script, symmetrical water gardens and ornate Islamic art are powerful reminders of Spain's Moorish past. The Moors, a collective name given to tribes of Arabs and Berbers united under Islam, were I the most cultured civilisation of I their age The Alhambra - which Salman Rushdie calls Hurope's Taj Mahal - endures where many of then other achievements have been forgotten. Their capital. Cordoba, was the A spiritual journey largest, wealthiest and most learned city in Europe. Invading from North Africa in 711 they brought citrus fruit, date palms and Even the soulless and cynical cannot fail to be affected by irrigation - most of the things, in fact, that made Spain a nice place o to li\e. Itrauelj the magic of southern India. JO YOUNG fell under the spell They also knew how to tight. The Christian Spanish HOSE people who heachtraders or tacky and cruel one would have to be sound like yoin mother telling for all things clean, organised Reconquista - a rather muddled choose to write "Jolly Elephant" rides could extremely insensitive not to you local your greens because and wrapped in cellophane counter attack ending with the about India and diminish. realise lhal. in Keralan socieiy. of 'all the starving children', have forgotten all about. capture ot Granada in I-W2 T \ccording to legend, the the 'have-nots' are exactly hut believe me. you look at Admittedly it is through lasted 7S1 years. The Moors look its life and culture God I'arashurama ('Rama with that. Large numbers of people your lile differently allerthe necessity rather than choice, the entire peninsula in less than usually attempt to the batllcaxe' ivvas given ihe for example, often entire experience of India. hut the Southern Indian three... avoid using cliches chance lo creale a new land families, subsist by breaking I ike the advert says. 'India lifesty le - even in the cities. which we have come to from the ocean; wherever he up stones into gravel for road- changes you', and in my case. I which in Kerala arc verj small HE Mi Kirs suffered badly in threw his axe the new land improvement. The only hope that that is true; that and easygoing - possesses a the Reconquisla's aflermalh expect of this country - would appear - in this way monumental monotony of such Ihe serenily I felt in my short simplicity which is powerful Tand were given the choice magical, beautiful, Kerala was created. an activity, day after day. is time there could extend lo my and hypnotic. of Christianity or exile in North colourful and chaotic - Nothing can prepare you something which no member everyday life. After only a lew days of Africa. A lot of them died on the and almost always fail, for the effect which Southern of a privileged socieiy - I would hope never lo he moonlit walks along journey. India can have on the particularly those receiving a patronising enough lo say that Kovalam's famous Lighthouse The Alhambra has. almost by because India really is uninitiated. The moment you university education - could it is alright to he poor in Beach, sharing the mam default, become a monument to all of those things. step off ihe plane, the world ever appreciate: witnessing it paradise (as I heard said while highways with cows and the lost brilliance ol "Mixirish Kerala lies at the southern seems lo explode into a is never comfortable. there) hut it is impossible to elephants, eating coconuts civilisation. Incredibly it is still in tip of India, and is known disorganised mass of I am sure most visitors to ignore the fact that, despite all straight from the tree and lish one piece. Napoleon tried to locally as 'God's Country'. movement: throughout my trip the country have their own Us obvious faults and straight from ihe sea. life in destroy it as he fled from Spain in I was struck by Ihe way in humbling experiences to tell: imbalances. India really does Leeds seems very faraway c Since charter flights began a the early I )th century, but a couple of years ago to the which the Keralan landscape mine were frequent, and do some things right, things indeed. unfolded like a kind of living crippled and abandoned soldier state capital. Trivandmm included finding out that the that we - in our endless pursuit struggled round the palace on one 'cinema'. waiter at our hotel had an MA leg diffusing the explosives before (Thiruvananthapuram), in English Literature (and we it was too late. Kerala has undergone a VERYWHERE you complain about useless Earlier vandals included 16th- mildest tourist explosion. look, at the side of the qualifications...). Our lour Outlook's guide to: INDIA century Emperor Carlos V who. Most tourists head lo Eroad, through gaps in guide earned less in a month galloping through ihe Mix>r's Kovalam. which has some of doorways, an individual drama than ihe cost of ihe presents I - Flights to Delhi cost c.£5<¥) depending on the season you fly in. former lands, turned mosques into the most lively and interesting is being played out; nol always had spent all afternoon Trivandmm itself has an international airport with connections Renaissance Cathedrals and beaches on ihe southern pleasant, but (and I apologise purchasing. A little boy stared to nil the major cities in India. Discount agents such as SIX and alca/ars into Imperial palaces, coastline. lor my own Western at the boiled sweel I gave him Campus Travel often sell of excess seats for airlines at nick- often with disastrous results. It Kovalam has - and, in the arrogance) somehow always as if it were a bar of gold. bottom prices. wasn't purely religious intolerance lace of rising prices and the fascinating. What is hi/arre is that the - C'arlos had the Spanish increased lourist interest, Ketala. like most of India, beauty of India makes il inquisition to take care of that for surprisingly maintained - a has its lair share of poverty impossible to w alk away - Food and accommodation in India are extremely cheap. You him -but a genuine belief that it mellow and laid-back Many of the customs regarding say ing. 'Thank God I'm can expect to pay less than £l for a hill and varied meal. South Indian food is plainer and not as spicy as northern Indian. In looked atmosphere which attracted child-marriage and other forms Lnglish. thank God I am nol You could never recreate the larec numbers of hippies lo the ol exploitation which so there".The thing is. (and I may Kovalam the variety is greater for tourists hut the main staples Alhambra in it heyday - all the a lew decades a distress many visitors toother he disappearing inlo the are rice and inevitably lots offish! coach parties would get in the way Though the beaches may be parts of India and which have realms of the hopelessly of the belly dancers, but the gelling dirtier and the drugs been publicised through Mich pretentious here, bin bear with - There are several trips you can make from Kovalam, most regional government ol Andalucia. (apparently ) a little weaker. harsh and graphic films as me) I really feel as though I notably the backwaters tours which can lie anything from half i,g a measure ol its true there is something magic about 'The Bandit Queen" (banned in have brought some humility an hour to 3 days on a rice boat. Some amazing sights but very flavour v\ith minimal mtei Icrence. the place which no amount of India i are not as common and home with me. I probably sticky. My favourite was Madurai. a busy and mosquito ridden Alhambra is lull of stories, ale ollicially city, but housing Mtciiakshi-Sundareshwarar temple, one of the and i- • >-.t addictive condemned in most impressive in the world, made more so by the fact that it is .building. In Moorish. . Qwtpus Kerala. still used, bv o\er I5.IMM) people even day. nheless. Out/pole 14.03.97

As Britain's most famous drugs smuggler Howard Marks shipped over 200 tonnes of hash during a 20 year career. JOHN GALLAGHER talks prison, politics and pot with the man they call Mr Nice irofile OWARD MP would he pretty abhorrent to a Marks sits back constituency's \oters. in his chair Surely. Mr Marks, you H haven't got a chance in hell of with a self-contented \\ inning an election'.' sigh, and takes a long "Well I'm standing for two drag on his freshly places: Norwich North and rolled joint. He has South, but as vou can imagine I don't have much respect foi every reason to be borders. If it was called today I pleased with himself. wouldn't have a good chance. He used to he Britain's The thing is thai plenty of most wanted man. and as a people believe in the hashish smuggler with legalisation of cannabis, hut documented links to the not enough ol them think il is the most important issue. Italian Mafia, the I'm there to represent Brotherhood of Eternal people who feel that Love, the IRA and the legalisation should he- British Secret Service, he earned out. I think you X1.. .,V smuggled nearly two ought to he allowed to hundred tonnes of hash grow dope like cabbage, because around the world (and and keep it away from the big something of a distant dream. they would lose their jobs. wished he'd done more) in a companies. But what about a Dutch style "There's a more basic 20-year career. Yet now he is "There are about 30 to 40 attitude to drug use? What instinct to the situation than Things I'd standing as a prospective MPs who said they would about decriminalisation? that. There's a large section of welcome some change to the "1 don't think ihe populalion which doesn't Parliamentary candidate in laws on drugs, but they are tied the forthcoming General decriminalisation would look like other people gelling high. to their loyalties: the party, the after the removal of crime, hut Why that should be ! don't lowetosee Election. community and the legalisation would. As to why know. It's a bit like Puritanism In his time, Marks has also constituency. I don't want to he cannabis was made illegal in really - lhal great haunting fear spent nine years in prison, yet in a politician. I imagine I would the first place, it seems there that somebody somewhere Clinton smoking and not inhaling! the past two years he has begun resign after smoking a few was some sort of disapprov al might he happy. As a result of to write a column lor l.omleil joints in Parliament, or do some from society. There were vested that we have this series of laws magazine, has contributed to The immaculate conception outrageous stuff and get thrown interests in keeping marijuana and regulations." various newspapers such as the out. Maybe I could turn the illegal from the brewing, Financial Times and has hrought place into a rave club, hut there tobacco, synthetic fibre and OWARD Marks is. of Wales winning the Grand Slam out an autobiography which is is very little else I could do - pharmaceutical industries who course, a man who feels released again in paperback in unless of course I could were unable to patent it. strongly about the To go on a Concorde tour of the wonders May. The hook has the unironic H advance the cause of legalising "Nowadays there are illegality of his chosen sales title of Mr Nice. of both the ancient and modern worlds, cannabis more effectively In additional interests in keeping product. You would think the idea of remaining an MP." it illegal, because so many "Cannahis is a medicine, hut packing it all into a fucking fortnight becoming an MR and being With all the propaganda and people are employed as a result sick people cannot he treated taking the most appropriate psycho-active involved at the very centre of build up to the General Election ol thai illegally - custom because it's illegal, and that drugs for each place. the establishment, would he currently at a peak, the officers, screws, hacks, police. infuriates me. But I don't abhorrent to somebody with legalisation of cannabis is l.iw\crs. It's a mainstay of ihe campaign on that issue - it's such qualifications as Marks. perhaps not the most pressing British economy. You can best left to those who know Someone finding the basis of all psycho- You would also think the idea of issue on most politicians' sympalhise with those guys. what they're tucking talking active drugs. having a drug smuggler as an agendas. Legalisation is also They don't want legalisation about." / don't want to be a politician. I imagine I would resign alter smoking a few joints in Parliament, maybe tvrn the place into a rave 14 OutfooJc 14/15

for so long. Howard Marks appears to didn't know whai Richard and Judy big joint. Very soon, the power to write be a man of few regrets. "The only was. I ]iisi turned tip at the TV studio ai and concentrate becomes sumcwluit thing I wish I had avoided was mv a particular lime, and was sat in this lacking. (Thank (iod lor the invention w ilc's incarceration and the suffering of ii room wailing to go on when of ihe dictaphone.) my kids. You can't not regret that, someone came down and sat next to me He puts some haul techno on his because it's a pain you feel. If I had my in a green leotard. Then another sat stereo. It said in l.ixit/t'd he liked his lile over again I would have researched down in a chef's uniform. I thought dance music loud, hut it didn't say he Still, American law more before breaking it. 'What the fuck is going on'.1' It took liked it this loud. As aforementioned. about it. cannabis is mostly used lor getting At home in Britain you become familiar some time lo tealise it was a case of Marks had had some musical success "I'm embarrassed with ihe hardback high, and how ever you feel about w iih the law during your upbringing. youi Iriendly drug smuggler popping in with the Super Furry Animals, hut he because it's so expensive. I'll be much substance use. there i.s a drug problem "Missing out on smoking was for morning coffee! Fucking hi/ane. didn't find the indie scene quite heavy happier hawking the paperback. I hope in Britain today. strange. I but nice enough lor him. "I mostly like this people find it fun. It's simply about "There are two types of nosebleed stufl, il has so many being stoned, and having a laugh. 1 problem. There is the heroin possibilities. When I expected it to be sold 10 people more problem, which is intimately took Fcstasy in the my own age though. I thought young linked with unemployment and many people are emplo u '80s it was just people might see the book as an poverty, and is a way of like taking acid example of old hippies from the 'd()s dealing with despair. The •* •> or mescaline. still rabbiting on about the same old shil second problem is F.cstasy. ult of the illegality of ^ There was no they didn't manage to change at ihe which more than a million • . »l n ••• culture to lime. But it seems to have worked the people take every weekend. mstay of the British accompany it. other way. Young people have found il Thai's much more interesting. ^^ whereas now the drugs tun. w hile older people are say ing That's not to do with poverty and go with the music. Of "Oooh. llns is ralher immoral'. But I despair - it's a proper culture of course, having been inside torso long. don't mind promoting the hook. I'll its own. But the two issues are lumped smoke joints all day. but in prison I enough people, nice enough." I'm a bit out of touch. I'm improving, take a bus load of people to every together and hash gets caught in didn't smoke for live years. Smoking Throughout the interview. Marks but 1 used to look around and rave festival, sign a few copies, and smoke between. Hash is taken with heroin, isn't good for some things, and I find il smokes joints and laughs away in his about a piece of music, and friends loints with whoever." Hcstasy makes you enjoy it better. hard to do the things I don't want to do. soft, infectious Welsh accent. He is a would say 'for fuck's sake Howard thai Whatever your views on dope. Hash. hash. hash. It's seen as the demon The only good hash I come across these most difficult man lo interview indeed. was live years ago'. I've only recently Howard Marks comes across as a fermenting all these problems - one day s is home grown, or that Manali you It's not that it is hard to commit him to discovered I.eftfield." remarkable man who never accepted a which is not a problem but a cultural sometimes get from India. Usually it's answers, or get him to open up about With all his experiences on ihe normal existence To his clients change, anil the other which is that Morrocan shit which drives me his pasl career. It's more lo do with the inside and the outside of ihe throughout his 21) year career he was solveable. nuts. Euro hash trash. You get it all fact that as you sit there frantically penitentiary system. Marks' known as the fourth emergency service, Of the nine years that Marks served over." writing down what he is saying. Marks autobiography makes inieresiing and just like the AA man. Mr Nice in jail for his'causc'. seven were spent is sitting there casually rolling another reading. He himself isn't entirely happy keeps on rolling. in one of America's toughest T is inieresiing to find out the arch- penitentiaries. Tcrre Haute. Thai must smoker of them all is prone lo the have been pretty hard to deal with for Isame crav ings as the rest ol us. "I someone used to evading the law and gel the mtinchies like everyone else - I travelling the globe'.' "Prison makes you love sushi. But in some parts of ihe What I realty, patient and tolerant. It trains those world they actually, use hash too last. qualities to come out of you. btil there's You have to keep a certain amoum of not much else you learn that you ian control while you are smoking. As long realty want apply to the outside world. Prison is as you put your mind on fasting, yon supposed to rehabilitate, but it don't get that terrible ravenous feeling obviously doesn't.What was the poini you just gel a different kick." •J _, To make a hit record and go mainstream. of those seven years I spent locked Since his release from prison, the I did a song with the Super Furry aw ay'.'" writing of his autobiography, and a slim Animals. What would you say to anyone who on the trout cover of the Super Furry 3j 1 wish I'd smuggled more dope and been wanted to follow in your footsteps.' Animals' last album. Marks has been "Stop before you end up in prison! You caught up in an ever expanding media a more successful smuggler. don't w am lo know w hai prison is like circus that even saw him appearing on Ua I'd like to score a try for Wales You don't want lo gel freaked out as too Kiclianl anil Jmly last month. "It's fun many people do. But the very worst meeting new people. I'm getting to y/jj Marks couldn't think of anymore, but thing in prison is missing the people know a lot otThings about how British you love, the companionship. Se\ is the society is running. I missed out on so slatted banging on at some way-out iiext thing - but apart from that, you get much, and I needed something like this theory of evolution and we never did get used to it." exposure to catch up. back on the subject. As a man who flaunted the system "1 never normally watch TV, so I 1\

; ' '

I don't think people will want to risk Monday

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at is it with Matt raiding pharmacies to Iced his habit. pencil eraser with Dillon? Why is he Dillon can gel avvav vv ill) excessive tins and teeth. mumbling in this film - he Joes spend in half the films on hall the film popping pills which reduce TV at the him to a Shaun Ruler-like state of Wmoment? Disd he suddenly existence. But, despite the added bonus of become a major movie icon an appearance by William S. Burroughs (who has himself consumed more while I wasn't looking? First, chemicals in his lifetime than \ou'd there was Singles last week; expect to find in a Pot Noodle i. ihis now there's Mr Wonderful movie ultimately lets you dov\ n. thanks (Channel 4, Sunday 10.00pm), mainlv to its utter, utter cop out of an Drugstore Cowboy (Channel 4, ending. However, an ending - whether good or Sunday 11.55pm), and The bad - is not always an ending. Sometimes Outsiders (Channel 4, Thursday it is a beginning ... a beginning, say, of a 10.00pm), all crammed together string of sequels, each more uninspiring into some kind of Dillonophile than the last. I am. of course, talking about ,/f/ux and the worst sequel to date. dream package. JIIH-\: The Re\c/i.ec (BBC1. Monday: As far as I'm aware, there's been 10:10pm i. Now the premise of the no real justification for this minor Spielberg original was ridiculous enough, celebration of the minor '80s brat but one bout of freak giant shark attacks is packer. Perhaps Matt's been making lust about acceptable, even if the grisly threatening phone calls to the beast of the of the deep was obviously Channel 4 execs ... no. that would be made out of rubber. The fourth Jan A vision a little too interesting for him - it must movie, however, is just too silly. have been a series of pleading letters. rody (Roy Scheider) is dead, so his FILMS ON THE BOX You've got to feel sorry for the bloke, window (Lorraine Cire> ) lakes off really. A few years ago he was the Bto a tropical island, where, amongst 'new Brando' and/or the 'next James other things, she meets Michael Caine. As SHOWING THIS WEEK Dean'. Then everyone realised he il that isn't bad enough, she finds that \\us too dull, that his brow jutted out she's been followed by a monstrous man just a little too far, and perhaps eating shark hell- another Brando wasn't such a good bent on revenge. The Drugstore Cowboy idea, after all ( as The hhmd o/Dr shark, you see. is the bereaved mother of More-ail has. most recently, proved). the other sharks Once Dillon's teenage fan base had CM, Sunday, 11.55pm which were killed by grow n up and realised that mumbling a Brody in the first bit and shuffling around nonchalantly two films. sweet revival doesn't constitute gixxl acting, he was At least, I think RARE GROOVE • FUNIK • SOUL • DISCO soon out the door and sooner forgotten. that explains its DC Indeed, the three Dillon films on this 111 The Outsiders motivation - the 3 week are probably more notable for their character ot the directors: Mr Wonderful (a passionless 5s (D OH Thursday, 10pm shark isn't really D a romantic comedy) was directed by very well developed, Anthony Minghella. who's currently and we don't get clearing out his shed to make room for all BAR many insights into °>Z(/) the Oscars he seems likely to win for The the depths of its cc c English Patient: The ()nt\itlei^ was o O Mr Wonderful psyche. Aside from I Francis Ford Coppola's (failed) attempt at o h IX/IOND/VYS (0 the occasional roar 111 OLD SKOOL MUSIC 3 doing an edgy teen movie; and Drnxstoi'e (can sharks really z m CM, Sunday, 10pm CVnr/xn was made by Gus Van Sanl, who h roar'.') it has very OLD SKOOL DRINKS RRICES: also brought us one of River Phoenix's (D little to say. But. tequila 5Op a shot 0 last performances, in My Own Private £ worst of all. alter 12 doubles £1 .20 (Includes mixer) 0 Idaho. years of special free sltot of liquid wltri l)nii>xii>ir (~

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Restaurant ft Cocktail Bar 56 Boar Lane, LMds. LS1 XL at the hottest new venue in Leeds? Tel: 0113 24S 2555 Fax: 0113 244 4015 We also have a happy hew - lp« rati Tpn, Momby nti Friday •SEE CONDITIONS OPPOSITE 17 Flavour of the Day march 14 Comic Relief, BBC1, from 7pm Lo\e il or loathe it. Comic Relict' is hack cluhs and puhs this evening - and uive them 33 guide after its Glastonhury style break, and a snog as well, because it will raise money. promises to he even hiuyer and heller than Television highlights include a reunion of ever hel'ore. Only l-'nols and //orw.s. a special edition of Amonu the new fuml-raising ideas include a Men Be/hiving Ihully with a cameo from cinema comic relief snoji-a-thon kit (£1 from The Kvlie Minogue. and a performance of the HABC \llacks. 5.40, X.20 Bodyshop). which includes a sponsorship latest single In the Su^ar Lump* (uka Dawn (2452W.5i ll>di Park Picture House 12752045) Mars Attacks, i 10,7,50 i lheClouils.fi.-l5.'). I 5 DAY form and stickers to slum prospective hcnch and Jennifer Saundcrs piss take of Ouadiophcnia. I2.'0.3ll Milk Hat 6.00 Open University: 7.15 See Hear 6.00 GMTV: 9.25 Chain Letters. 6.00 Sesame Street; 7.00 the Big D 6.00 Business Breakfast; 7.00 BBC Cllih Mex plus the Ix'si ofcontentporarj : Breakfast News; 9.00 Breakfast News Breakfast News; 7.30 The Wacky followed by ITN News Headlines. 9.55 Breakfast; 9.00 Bewitched; 9.30 i.initn' dmni ^ base tonight Extra; 9.20 Style Challenge; 9.45 Kilroy; Races: 7.55 The Really Wild Show; Calendar News And Weather; 10.00 Schools: 12.00 Bloom: 12.30 Baby w uh l-d Hush wall residents V Nalo 10.30 Can't Cook, Won't Cook; 11.00 8.20 Just So Stories; 8.35 The Record; The Time... The Place; 10.30 This It's You; 1.00 Ellen: 1.30 Cafe Bar; Ki. k\ lila/caiul \l( s \shan.- / S/»v. mixed ga) tricndk mghl. playing News; 11.05 The Really Useful Show; 9.00 The French Experience; 9.15 The Morning; 12.20 Calendar News And 1.35 FILM: Tiara Tahiti (1962): 3.30 plus Audio I'raific. <)ui Mali I'lull .mil :Countdown; 5.00 Ricki Lake; ilipm t.mi. «./'!.7 The Alphabet Game; 12.30 Going For A Playdays; 10.30 Hotch Potch House; Weather; 12.55 Home And Away: 1.25 Planet Karth Song, 12.55 The Weather Show; 1.00 10.50 Cosmo And Dibs In Punjabi; Emmerdale; 1.55 A Country Practice; 5.30 Pet Rescue; 6.00 TFI Friday, I lu- ( (H-k|):t - I IK riwifl. two looms ol'jKip News; 1.40 Neighbours; 2.05 FILM: For 11.00 Look And Read: 11.20 Short 2.20 High Road; 2.50 Shortland Street; 7.00 News; 7.55 The Slot; 8.00 The linvliifn lii'ut li. 6IK Modernism meets anil dance. l)ptn-2am L2 with liver The Love Of Aaron (1994); 3.30 Circuit: 11.40 English Time; 12.00 3.20 ITN News Headlines; 3.25 Lost Gardens of Heligan. This series live bond the before 11.15pm. £3.50after Playdays; 3.50 The Red Nose Zone; English File; 12.30 Working Lunch; Calendar News: 3.30 Rosie And Jim; follows the reawakening of one of K<-,t! People, plus scratch) garageand sweet soul in the little room The Pleasure Rooms 5.05 Newsround; 5.10 Blue Peter: 5.35 1.00 Scene : 1.30 Le Club; 1.45 Words 3.40 Slim Pig, 3.50 Warner Brothers nature's most exquisite gardens 1 And Pictures: 2.00 Just So Stories: which had suffered years of neglect; I lpm-4am. £5 ll\ Obvii>i<\, with Mount. Shadow on Neighbours; 6.00 New: 6.30 Regional Cartoon: 4.00Zzzap!; 4.15 Jumanji: lour, including a 11.1 set from unsung News Magazines; 7.00 Comic Relief; 2.10 Sport On Friday; 3.55 News: 4.40 Gladiators: Train 2 Win: 5.10 8.30 Brookside. Jimmy says The Dry Dock underground hero Ri >b Plavl'ord 7.10 The Great Big Stupid Celebrity Regional News: Weather; 4.00 Today's Home And Away; 5.40 ITN Early goodbye to his son and discovers Uplifting house w iih IU John Lee. Plus. (interviewed in I mi < soon;, and li\e set Sketch Show; 7.20 Susan Tully - Street The Day: 4.30 Ready, Steady, Cook; Evening News: Weekend Weather; what Jackie has been keeping this place accepts Switch wnl: from the K/ Rollers. Kids Of Tamale; 7.30 Gladiators Go Ga 5.00 Esther; 5.30 Seniors Pot Black; 5.55 Calendar, followed by Local secret; 9.00FILM: Edward hack as well, so Ihcic's no excuse nol lo horn 10pm. £7 Ga ; 7.45 Only Fools And Horses Red 6.00 The Simpsons; 6.25 Top Of The Weather; 6.30 Tonight 7.00 Lucky Scissorhands (1990). Tim Burton's got pissed. Nose Exclusive.8.00 Dame Edna Makes Pops 7.00 Pole To Pole 8.00 Birding Numbers. Shane Richie hosts ITV's extraordinary fairy-tale fantasy Town and Country I'lub With Bill Oddie 8.30 Gardeners World The Hyde Park Oul>. Ash Crmv. Love Train, I.egcndar\ 7IX disco, with The Nation See Red 8.05 University big-money gameshow. 7.30 Coronation starring Johnny Depp as a young U In re'It \ Al nice ,ind cheap place to Brutusdold I0pm-2.30am,£6 Challenge Challenges Coronation Street 9.00 Comic Relief Goes To The Movies Street There is a heavy price to pay for man who, created but uncompleted go before vou hit the tow n 8.10 Victoria Wood: Carers 8.15 More 9.30 Timewatcti Special. A look at the Des's amorous advance on Samantha. by inventor Vincent Price, is left with S 11pm, 11 membership Thv Underground Of The Great Big Stupid Celebrity emerging historical debate surrounding 8.00 The Bill. Keane uses information shears where his hands should be. . The heslotMK and into And Saunders; 9.35 The Great Big 10.20 Lucinda Lambton's Alphabet Of of Moviewatch. hosts another 70s rock 10pm-:.un. O/C4 Scott with another chance to see some Tin- Warehouse Stupid Celebrity Sketch Show; 9.35 Julie Britain. Lucinda Lambton continues her of the real-life dramas caught on eclectic mix of comedy and chat; I.NHSl /\'. i/i.wm, wilh .leictnv Healy. Walters and The Street Kids Of Addis tour of Britain's little-known sights with security and surveillance cameras the 11.35 The Girlie Show. It's a girl ,S'/o;;i/>. Indie. &. giungc test, plus retro 930pm-3am,£8/£IO Ababa; 9.55 Boyzone; 10.00 Men a visit to Heathrow.10.30 Newsnight length and breadth of Bntain. 9.00 power fest as Sara Cox and Sarah Behaving Very Badly Indeed; 10.15 11.15 Space: Above And Beyond. Catherine Cookson's The Moth. It's Cawood are joined by the ultimate band wilh didgeridoo. Ross. Rhys, Enfield and Chums; 10.30 When a badly wounded West is Christmas 1913, and Robert angers the girlies, Brit award-winners The Spice Prime Cracker: 10.40 Tony Ferrino And transported to the Saratoga, he recalls resentful Dave Waters further with his Girls; 12.05 TFI Friday; 1.05 Robin; gigs Fenlon Bjork; 10.45 Jennifer Saunders - Don't snippets of a brutal battle between the gifts for the Thorman sisters. 10.00 1.10 Flava 1.40 FILM: Reflections In Talk thai talk Give Up; 11.00 Father Ted And His 58th and Chig soldiers. 12.00 Stuff The News At Ten: Weekend Weather 10.30 A Golden Eye (1967). Stirring n Faithfull Friends; 11.05 Angus Deayton White Rabbit. John Lenahan hosts the Calendar News And Weather 10.40 melodrama based in the American Cockpit Joseph's Well in Burkina Faso; 11.15 Furry Funny comedy-magic series featuring Conspiracy Of Silence. 12.20 Funky Deep South where an army major Real People i playing al Brighton The Delgados + La/or Bin Fluffs; 11.20 The Great Big Stupid tricksters from both sides of the Bunker 1.20 Club Nation 2.20 (Marlon Brando) faces his latent Beach, see abo\e) Doois t'toiii I lpm.£5. Celebrity Sketch Show; 11.30 The Atlantic.12.30 FILM: The Lower And Cyber.Cafe 2.45 Dating The Enemy homosexuality while his wife ShelTidd Arena Empire Strikes Back; 12.30 Bedtime His Lass(1975). Erotic comedy about a 3.45 Stand And Deliver 4.45 Sound (Elizabeth Taylor) embarks on an The Monkees With. 1.00 Comic Relief. The Beginning; feckless young man. Followed by Bites 5.00 ITV Sport Classics 5.30 ITN affair; 3.40 FILM: X, Y And Zee Duchess 2.30 Billy Connolly. 3.30 Weather; 3.35 Weatherview; 2.05 Close Morning News (1971). Sophisticated love story with Dr Didg + Back lo Base. Live headline Close a screenplay by Edna O'Brien.

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18 march 15 Flavour of the Day guide Crime Traveller, BBC1, 8.10pm As my housemate said to me last week. moment. Right, let's gel this straight. "Wow, this is uliuoM as good as HKI;\'." It was Technology is basically good, apart from indeed a perceptive observation, because the when it falls into the wrong hands. Now, that cinema similarities are striking. Not only does the hardly merits a TV series does it? ABC (2452665) Odeon (2436230) show fit in the same nerdy Saturday evening In tonight's episode a top fashion designer Mars Attacks, 12.30, 3.00. 5.10. 7.50 Jerry Maguire. 1.50.4.50. 7.55 Quadrophcnia. 12.30. 3.00. 5.30, 8.(X) The l-.nalish Patient. 12.45.4.10.7.35 time-slot, feature bizarre and frankly (hopefully John Galliano - the twat) begins to Bound, 12.45. .V 10, 5.35 Ransom. 5.25. 8.10 desperate story-lines and star washed up old receive death threats, so Slade and HolK go Blood And Wine. S.(X) The Crucible. 115, 5.00, 8.05 Michael, 12.50.3.10 soap stars (Henry off Neighbours, David undercover, and back in time, to find out Cottage Road (2751606) Shine. 5.40. X.20 from bMsii'iulcrs), but both make excellent what's ri'tilly going on. Far better you watch M.irs Attacks. 5.40. X.20 11)1 IJalmations. I.IX) use ol some good old fashioned technophobia the Cracker movie True Romance (1TV. Crime Traveller Michael French Hyde Park Picture House (27521(45) Showcase Hl]<»24 421)622) which even one seems so caught up in at the 9.05pm) Beyond [he Clouds. 6.45. 9.15 Shine. Harriet the Spy. Iciiy Maguire. Paris Texas. 11.30 Mais Attacks. !. Bound, Matilda. In Love and War, Random. TlK-l.ounKiM275KH.il 1-ieicc t'rcalnics. Michael. 101 Channel 4 Jerry M.IL-IIII, Dalmahons. Hlooii and Wine, The BBC 1 BBC 2 ITV Crucible, hvila. Hy Away Home 7.00 Harry And The Hendersons; 6.20 Open University: 6.00 GMTV; 9.25 Scratchy And 5.45 Tern/toons ; 6.00 Sesame 7.25 News: Weather; 7.30 Felix 8.00 Open Saturday Co; 11.30 The Chart Show; Street; 7.00 Dumb And Dumber; The Cat; 7.45 Phantom 2040; 10.30 FILM: Magic Town (1947). 12.30 Movies. Games And 7.30 Dennis; 7.45 First Edition; 8.10 The Real Adventures Of When the head of a 8.00 Transworld Sport; 9.00 The Jonny Quest; 8.35 The Videos; 1.00 ITN News: flagging opinion poll Morning Line; 10.00 Gazzetta Flintstones; 9.00 Live And company discovers a town Weather; 1.05 Calendar News Football Italia; 11.00 NBA 24/7; clubs Kicking; 12.12 Weather; 12.15 which accurately reflects And Weather; 1.10UEFA Grandstand; 5.30 News; 5.40 the average American's Champions League Special 12.00 Short Stories, 12.40 After Dark. Morley house. 10pm-6am. 110 members, £12 Channel 4 Racing From Uttoxeter Hit- Oihil Brilliam techno c\cni with non members. Regional News: Weather; 5.45 opinions, he immediately 1.40 FILM:'The Undefeated' Sven Vath and Aurai Float live. Phone 01924 48X220 lor more info. Dad's Army recognises its money- (1969). A Union colonel 2.45 FILM: Humoresque Spin- 2am. Free coach leaves from 6.15 The New Adventures Of making potential. Starring runs into an exodus of (1947). Joan Crawford ( 'niversity Parkinson Steps at 8.30prn. Planet I arth James Stewart and Jane takes the lead in this £10, Info, tel. 2528202. Saiin-(lii\ \':^li! I ' re/: 70s show with Superman. Lois and Confederates. Starring D.I St.ntsk> Lovepanls. Spm-3am, Clark's newly-wedded bliss Wyman. John Wayne. melodrama as an alcoholic Club Mcx t: NUS/Flyer, £3.50 others Ivloic is disrupted when Lois is 12.10 Film 97 With Barry 3.50 Baywatch society woman. Heil'iniMii. with uuests, plus residents II.30pm. ES after. Norman mysteriously framed for the 4.45 ITN News 5.05 Brookside Omnibus Carl Bedford. Hlliot and Dean Martin. murder of a former 12.40 FILM: El Dorado (1967). 6.30 Right To Reply. Roger lupin '- Wain. 15 bc-lore llpm. £6 Pleasure Rooms 5.05 Calendar News informant. Classic western action yarn Bolton joins viewers to take alter Back in Hint, v 10pm ham. Ill) 5.10 Scoreline members. £12 others 7.00 Noel's New York House from director Howard on the programme makers. 5.20 Clueless The Cockpit Party. Noel Edmonds Hawks. Starring John 7.00 A Week In Politics //ie (/«/Match Of The Day. 10.30 The Show. romance, adventure and 11.05 Tarrant On TV Desmond Lynam 11.35 Hill Street Blues. A young Joseph's Wefl reality of life at sea in the 12.05 The Movie Show Special ' .old St.ir + Mink introduces highlights of the offender holds two people first half of this century. - Disclosure Premiership match 8.50 Till Death Us Do Part hostage in a supermarket Cockpit between Nottingham 12.30 Coach A lal the Cockpit! 9.20 A Night In With The Girls. as a protest against the Forest and Liverpool. A celebration of the 12.55 In Bed With Medinner system which is turning 11.50 Chalk. One of the sixth- contribution to British 1.25 FILM: McCabe And Mrs him into a criminal. theatre formers gives birth and television made by women. Miller (1971). Violent cult 12.35 The Client. Slatt would like to make it Recalling the early days western. 1.30 The Girlie Show Civic Theatre Uesl Yorkshire Playhouse clear that he is not the are presentation 3.35 Funny Business 2.05 Ricki Lake Tile Gondoliers, t mal m^hl I Landslide, sec Hid.iv father...whatever the announcers Mary Malcolm 4.05 Collins And Maconie's hoice 2.50 Beavis And Butthead photographs may indicate. and Sylvia Peters. Movie Club 3.15 Flava (,rand Theatre 12.20 Top Of The Pops 10.10 Performance: My Night Seven Brides loi Seven Hiother 4.30 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Bless This House 12.50 FILM: The Bride In Black With Reg. Kinai ntL'ht. 5.20 Sound Bites 4.15 Film Night (1990). 11.55 Windows On The World 5.30 ITN Morning News 2.20 Weather; 2.25 Close 12.45 Global VideoByte 4.45 Beat Specials

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20 inarch 16 Flavour of the Day Gerry Cottle's Circus, 3pm It's the last day in town for Gerry Cottle's The Big Top has (not surprisingly) been to guide world famous Circus before they pack up more salubrious places than Woodhouse shop and head for the hills. They are Moor, taking in the minarets of Bahrain, the currently encamped on Woodhouse Moor, geysers of Iceland and the sky-scrapers of • you can't really miss the tent, and this Hong Kong. cinema afternoon at 3pm they perform to delighted And don't worry, if you thought it might get a •OH crowds for the last time. bit chilly sitting in a big tent, you will be ABC (2452665) Odeonl 2436230) By all accounts the show has been going pleased to learn that it is fully heated. And if Mars Attacks. 12.30. 3(K> Jerry Maguire, 1.50, 4.50, 7.55 down very well indeed, so if you need 7.50 The English Patient. 12.45. 4.IO, The kids are alright you're. concerned about animal welfare then Quadrophenia, ' 2.30. 3.00. 5.30, 7.35 reminding of your childhood this would seem you needn't be; as far as we know there are 8.00 Ransom, 5.25,8.10 to be the perfect place to do it. no animals in the show. Hurrah. Bound. 12.45. .VI0.5.35 The Crucible, 8.05 Blood And Wine. 8.00 Michael, 12.50.3.10 Shine, 5.40. 8.20 Cottage Road (2751606) 101 Dalmations. 1.00 BBC 1 ITV Channel 4 Mars Attacks, 3.10,7.50 Space Jam. 1.20,3.15.6.10 Hyde Park Picture House Showcase (01924 420622) 7.30 Jim Henson's Animal Show: 7.55 6.10 Open University; 7.25 Open 6.00 GMTV; 8.00 Masked Rider; 8.25 5.50 Blood. Sweat And Glory; 6.20 (2752045) Shine, Harriet the Spy, Jerry Playdays; 8.15 A Helping Hand; 8.30 Sunday: Towards The Renaissance; Disney Club; 10.15 The Story NBA; 7.15 Madeline; 7.40 The Ucyond the Clouds. 6.45,9.15 M.ignire. Mars Attacks. Brassed Breakfast With Frost; 9.30 Kingdom 8.15 Stay Tooned: 9.10 The Family Keepers: 10.45 Morning Worship; Neverending Story; 8.10 Doug; 8.25 II Poslino. .VOO Off. Bound. Matilda. In Love and Come!; 10.15 See Hear!; 10.45 Ness; 9.15 The Itsy Bitsy Spider; 9.35 11.45 Link: 12.00 Heaven Knows; War, Ransom, Fierce Creatures, It'll Never Work Design Awards: 10.00 Hyperman; 8.50 Saved By The Bell: National Trust Gardens; 11.00 The 12.30 Goals On Sunday; 12.55 9.25 Street Sharks; 9.50 California The Lounge 12751061) Michael. 1(11 Dalmations. Blood Eleventh Hour; 12.00CountryFile; Ship To Shore; 10.30 Grange Hill; Calendar News; 1.00 ITN News; Jerry Maguirc. 5.00, 7.40 10.55 The Wild House; 11.20 Short Dreams; 10.15 Happy Days and Wine. The Crucible. Fvita. Fly 12.30 On The Record; 1.30 Weather; 1.10 Jonathan Dimbleby; Change; 11.45 The O Zone; 12.15 10.40 Hollyoaks Omnibus Away Home EastEnders; 2.50 The Clothes Show 2.00 Murder. She Wrote; 2.55 11.40 TheWaltons TOTP 2; 12.45 The Simpsons; 1.30 Coronation Street; 3.50 Cartoon 3.15 FILM: The Pink Panther Regional Programmes 12.40 Ant & Dec Unzipped 4.00 FILM: The Dirt Bike Kid 1.10 Here's Johnny (1964). Starring Peter Sellers 2.00 FILM: Genesis II (1973). The (1986). An engaging and David Niven. sole survivor of a terrible 1.40 Football Italia, followed by adventure film. News Summary and Weather 5.10 True Tilda holocaust wakes, from 5.35 SeaQuest DSV 5.40 News: Weather suspended animation, in the 4.05 FILM: The Unsinkable Molly 6.30 Calendar News Arts (aft Bar Nate 6.00 Regional News year 2133 to find that a Brown (1964). 6.45 ITN News: Weather The SiiiuliK Vs\;iw u ilh guest I )Jv monstrous master race has 7.00 Bruce Forsyth's Play Your 6.30 Last Chance Lottery. Ijni'Jmn, members only night 6.05 Songs Of Praise 7.30 Love Life. Ann and 6.40 Comic Relief - The Juicy Bits plans to take over the world. Cards Right pla\ ing hi|> hop Muff. °pm-2am Christopher show how they Edwards 6.45 Last Of The Summer Wine 3.10 Ice Skating 7.30 Coronation Street. Jack 4.10 Crufts97 have overcome the conflicts i hack Ix-als for lhal 7.15 Antiques Roadshow makes a startling discovery, The Courtyard 4.55 Rugby Special caused by their wildly different Sunday Iceling. The 7th ,Vi\'/i;. (leorgc spins tunes 8.00 Hamish Macbeth. but is it proof of Brad's 5.55 The Natural World. paternity? personalities. 8.50 Birds Of A Feather. 101 your Sunday salvation. 6.45 Star Trek: Voyager. 8.00 Agatha Christie's Poirot. 8.00 Canterbury Tales. The Underground 9.20 Have Your Cake And Eat It. 9.00 Family Money. Award-winning 7.30 A Lesson For Us All. Su Despite supernatural warnings Smulu\ Joint with homo cooked Hyde Park ( lul) Tempestuous drama series. Claire Bloom leads the cast in Pennington examines why and Poirot's advice to change roasls and laid hack |a//.lroin the 10.15 News: Weather Channel 4's major new drama. Despatches. 4.30-10.30pm. Drum across the land many her will, Emily Arundel is Bluebirds 10.30 Omnibus. A profile of Oscar- schoolchildren are not getting 10.00 FILM: Mr Wonderful (1993). and hass. £ I. and with cheap drinks. murdered. /•.'IT;;///!; Juinl v. ith Sk\ Juice winning director Milos Forman, the start in life they deserve 10.00 The Clive James Show. 11.55 FILM: Drugstore Cowboy ITCC entry, timslics H).3()pni whose new film, The People 8.20 The Car's The Star. 10.45 ITN News: Weather, followed (1989). Powerful, much- vs Larry Flynt', is released in 8.40 The Money Programme by Local Weather admired drama of drug- April. 9.20 A Night In With The Girls 11.00 God Bless America. addiction, centred on addict 10.10 FILM: Chinatown (1974). With 11.50 Heart Of The Matter. How far 12.00 FILM: Silhouette (1991). Matt Dillion who leads his gigs Jack Nicholson. Followed by ITN News "crew" on a series of robberies. should childless couples go in 12.15 Robert Towne - Writing Headlines 1.50 Dispatches I Hi chess their attempt to become Town and Country Club Chinatown 1.40 FILM: Oil Hai Ke Mania 2.35 FILM: The Joke (1968). Sneaker Pimps + I .inolcuii Bright Young Things national talent parents? 12.30 FILM: Lapse Of Memory Nahin (1990). 4.05 FILM: Funeral Ceremony showcase, including Resin ami 4.35 Jobfinder 12.00 FILM: Amadeus (1984). (1991). Followed by (1969). Planet Lounge 2.35 Weather; 2.40 Close Weatherview 5.30 ITN Morning News 5.15 A Week In Politics

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21 $march 17 Flavour of the Day guide Jump Around @ LUU Harvey Milk Bar Have you seen those ridiculous Guiness nights that the Union put on. which is adverts on TV at the moment? Sure, it's strange because it hasn't been on for ages. The Lounge (2751061) good to spread the word about St. Patrick's Music policy is basically any record that has Jeuy Magnire. 5.30. S 15 Day. but the shameless cashing in is. well, even a faintly Irish link, which unfortunately Odecm (2436230) shameless. includes House of Pain, but may also mean .lorn Maguire. 1.51). 4.50. 7.55 ABC (24526*5) The English Patient. 12.45. 4.10. 7 15 All of this is of course irrelevant because this that Cork's finest. The I-'rank and Wallers. Mars Attacks. 12 30. -< 1X1. 5.30, 7.50 Ransom, 1.40, 5.25. S.I0 evening the Irish drinks promotions at Jump finally get played in a club. Quadrophenia, 12.30. 3,00. 5.30. S.tX) The Crucible. 1.15. 5.IK). S.05 Similarly, now is the time to claim your Irish Bound, 12.45.3.10.5.15 Michael. 12.50.3.10 Around are £1 a pint for Murphy's and £1 a Blood And Wine, S.tX) Shine. 5 40. S.20 double Jamesons and Baileys. The evening heritage (great great great uncle is fine), Father Ted in club night carnetf has a reputation for being one of the best paint your face, and ...jump around. Collage Road 12751606) Mimu HSC (01424 4206221 Mars Attacks, 5,40. X 20 Shine, Harriet the Spy. Jen . Mais Attacks. Brassed Oil. Bound, Hyde Park Picture House Matilda. In Love and War. Ransom. (2752045) Hcrcc Crealmcs. Michael. 101 BBC 1 BBC 2 ITV Channel 4 Beyond the Clouds. 6.45,9.15 [iahlialions. Hlood and Wine. The Crucible. h\iu. I-|\ Away Home

pla\iiiL'part\ and chart} dance music, 6.00 Business Breakfast: 7.00 BBC 6.00 Open University; 7.15 See Hear 6.00 GMTV; 9.25 Chain Letters, 6.00 Sesame Street; 7.00 The Big lager/hitter £ 1 pint. Breakfast News; 9.00 Breakfast News Breakfast News; 7.30 The Wacky followed by ITN News Headlines; 9.55 Breakfast; 9.00 Bewitched; 9.30 clubs Free before lOprn. and with dead Extra; 9.20 Style Challenge; 9.45 Races; 7.55 Blue Peter; 8.20 Pingu; Calendar News And Weather; 10.00 Schools, 12.00 Right To Reply; cheap dnnks. Kilroy; 10.30 Can't Cook, Won't Cook; 8.25 Hairy Jeremy; 8.35 Lassie; 9.00 The Time... The Place; 10.30 This 12.30 Baby It's You; 1.00 Ellen; 1.30 11.00 News: Regional News: Weather; TV6; 9.30 Go For It; 9.45 Technology Pete Smith Specialties 1.45 The Courtyard Now open It'om 7pm - 3am. with Morning; 12.20 Calendar News And Sluikf Y»ur (in ><)<.' c T , funk. MHI! (iuesl K ' 11.05 The Really Useful Show; 11.35 Starters; 10.00 Playdays; 10.30 Weather; 12.30 ITN Lunchtime News: FILM: Kentucky (1948). Delightful Landmarks: The River Severn; 10.50 family film starring Loretta Young. and sweet disco music. Pleasure Ruorm Change That: 12.00 News: Regional Weather; 12.55 Home And Away.; ill. lords' yrimmesl slndem News: Weather; 12.05 The Alphabet Look And Read; 11.10 Zig Zag: The 1.25 Coronation Street; 1.55 A 3.30 Collectors' Club I rojm night! Playing house. i^;u:ige. disco. Game; 12.30 Going For A Song; 12.55 Anglo-Saxons; 11.30 Teaching Today; Country Practice; 2.20 Wish You Lot 4.00 Fifteen To Wn-^t: ttiwitiiihtint. paitymiiht pop classics ,t hip hop. 1150 M'S The Weather Show; 1.00 News: 12.00 Belief File: Islam; 12.30 Working Were Here... ?; 2.50 Shortland Street; One 4.30 Countdown 5.00 Montel playinj: 70s-Ws 9.30pm-2am. Drinks only £1 rxinled beer, £1 girlie drinks. Weather; 1.30 Regional News: Lunch; 1.00 History File; 1.20 German 3.20 ITN News Headlines; 3.25 Williams 5.30 Pet Rescue 6.00 The KOpplFH. Weather: 1.40 Neighbours; 2.05 FILM: Globo; 1.25 Landmarks: Pakistan And Calendar News; 3.30 Tots TV; 3.40 Cosby Show 6.30 Hollyoaks 7.00 Ritzy's Majority Rule (1992). A war heroine Its People; 1.45 Storytime; 2.00 Pingu; Rainbow Days; 3.50 Walt Disney Channel 4 News 7.55Black Holes Edwards /'//. Hii/-/(/. music tor the nu finds herself being thought of as a 2.05 Hairy Jeremy 2.15 FILM: Holiday Cartoon; 4.05 Booty's Amazing of Science. 8.00 The Secrets of the tfi>n-ftnUil liU'nd, lunk, ,tud |a//, hip- 10pm 2am, live \vith liver, before possible President. Starring Blair Camp (1948). An atmospheric Adventures 4.20 Snap 4.45 Art Pharoahs. Did the pharaohs die out hop and souKviih P;iul I. 10.30pm, Cl alter. Brown and John Glover; 3.30 account of life and love at a British Attack. Informative and entertaining because of in-breeding in an attempt Playdays; 3.50 Pingu 3.55 summer resort. 3.55 News 4.00 art programme 5.10 Home And to preserve the blood of the gods? A f .c I'hoiw Liquid Bodger And Badger 4.10 Today's The Day 4.30 Ready, Away 5.40 ITN Early Evening News: research team from Brigham Young \linil Y>>ur Ht'tid rock A attem.it i\c \u,, i l\t\i\til. ne\\ niiiltl ofrarc Gadget Boy 4.35 Record Breakers Steady, Cook 5.00 Esther 5.30 Weather 5.55 Calendar, followed by University, Utah extracts DNA 10pm 2um. II lx.-1'urv 1 I pin, il alter. groove, lunk, sctnl and disco ni^ht with Gold 5.00 Newsround 5.10 Blue Going, Going, Gone 6.00 The Local Weather 6.30 Tonight 7.00 samples that could give them Newcastle Hrtnvn & Jack Daniel's tesidents Kunle and Nevil Gnxne 12 Peter 5.35 Neighbours. Jo has a Simpsons. A drink concocted by Wish You Were Here... ? Judith answers 9.00 Cutting Edge: Jilted. £1.25 NUS/£3 others. surprise for Hannah 6.00 News: Homer at Moe's tavern turns into a Chalmers reports from Jordan 7.30 Few experiences can compare to the °-pm-2am Weather 6.30 Regional News huge hit, but Moe claims credit for it. Coronation Street. Liz is offered a trauma of being left at the altar. We Nato Magazines 7.00 This Is Your Life 6.25 Space Precinct 7.10 Electric new life by Fraser. Tricia makes a see how the lives of eight people ri)ptnrt;< 70s dlSCO and tunk nicas S»N The \\ arelxmsx1 7.30 Here And Now 8.00 Circus 7.30 The Sci Files. S.OO.Top confession to Jack 8.00 have been profoundly affected. & l.K>s student classics and Rrimop. Mi'il end ot term party. Two lloois ,,| EastEnders. Tiffany adjusts to Gear Motorspprt,8.30 Ray Mears' World In Action 8.30 Kavanagh 10.00 Dark Skies 11.00 NBA Raw r. titkets available from Jumbo Sweetheart. The coast is clear for Ray Mears travels to Savaii in Western apparently blameless family doctor in ghouls, spectres or spirits have held and Crash. Bottles at £ I/ £ 1.20. 9pm- Gary to have a holiday with wartime Samoa, a remote island prone to an unprecedented war crimes trial. a worldwide, age-old fascination for Planet Earth 2am. mistress Phoebe, since present-day cyclones and surrounded by 10.00 News At Ten: Weather 10.30 man. Jon Ronson meets six Absolutely f-'mcd\ Ironi1' ! S HnJs 2am Starring John Savage and Treat Bernard Ingham 12.30 Cyber.Cafe 4.30 Jobfinder 5.30 ITN 5.35Terrytoons Williams. 2.05 Weather: 2.10 Close The Learning Zone Morning News EVERY FRIDAY EVERY FRIDAY The

Easter Bunny Party WEDNESDAY 19TH MARCH LEEDS METROPOLITAN UNIVERSITY S.U. HAPPFROM 3PMY UNTI HOUL 5PM n n R FREE CREAM EGGS £100 LOTTERY DRAW BITTER, LAGER, CIDER, BIG SCREEN 95p A PINT LAGER, BITTER & CIDER £1.85 A TREBLE VODKA & DRAUGHT MIXER PRIORITY TICKETS C2 C1.5O B4 1O.3O C2.SO AFTER GAMES 95pAPINT! SATELLITETV END OF TERM MAYHEM!!!! The Camp Counselors USA 1997 PIZZA f > University LEEDS RECRUITMENT FAIR oted No. / Wednesday 19th March 12pm - 3pm By Leeds Students LEEDS METROPOLITAN UNIVERSITY Tel: 2425672 Grey Room. Beckett Park Campus

Camp Counselors USA are now looking for young, enthvslastlt, out-going PIZZA and friendly people to work on Amerltan Camps this summer. Do you enjoy working with children? Do you have skills to offer In land 6URGCRS and water sports, arts A crafts etc? Then we are looking for YOU! To find out what Camp Counselors USA tan offer YOU, talk with experlented counselors and apply to our program, SOUTH6RN FftlCD CHKKCH (remember to bring 3 current reference* and A smiling pattport photo*) come along to the 1997 CCUSA LEEDS RECRUITMENT FAIR For more information and a free application pack contact: DONNCfl KCBAfiS Free Delivery Camp Counselors USA, 6 Richmond Hill. Richmond Upon Thames. Surrey, TW10 <5QX. until 4am mon-sat Tel: 0181 332 2952 or Fax: 0181 332 2956 OPEN I2pro to 4am Mon-Sat & 12am to 2|>ni Sun 22 inarch 18 Flavour of the Day Gorky's Zygotic Mynci @ The Duchess .lust tho host iKiniL'd Welsh speaking hand the charts. guide ever arc in town (his evening and you really At the other end of the pop spectrum are should make every effort to see them. They Mike Flowers Pops, who play at are gearing up to release a new album. Majestyk's tonight. Their only lea; w as to Riii'iifumlU'. and yesterday saw the release cover an Oasis song and gel il into the lop of ne\\ single Diamond /Jcir. which is ten when no one was looking, and since cinema another georgous, hammond drenched slice then they ha\e been riding a rapidly I.I I I MniSoii,.|> OiU-nn(24.Vi2.MII of Welsh \\ i/ardry. For more of the same, dispersing wave of popularity. No doubt Kids. Maguirc, I in. 4 in. 7.55 listen out tonight for their best single ever. Knpcri Beckett i.i.7pm. t:/t:i ;i .li l':ine.nl. 12.45,4 10. 7. (5 they w ill delight the pissed up crowd, and R.iilMini. ! 4(1. 5.2?. X. Ill I'tiiiii Suni;. which combined gentle melody there's nothing wrong with thai, just so AIH (2452W.5) with a hi-lingual \crsc chorus-verse Michael Ill, <,nrk) V M'/ii-n f/H'.v nrr long as you deny all knowledge of their combination \\hicli probably kept it out of "set" the ne\t morning. Shine ShmuasiM01"2442- R ik- I'.irk Picture House (2752045) IXilnuitions. HK'oJ ;md Win, Beyond th

6.00 Business Breakfast; 7.00 6.00 Open University; 7.15 See 6.00 GMTV; 9.25 Chain Letters, 6.00 Sesame Street: 7.00 The Hu-l.iii]iiKfl275IOAIi BBC Breakfast News; 9.00 Hear Breakfast News; 7.30 The followed by ITN News Headlines; Big Breakfast; 9.00 Bewitched; •i IS Breakfast News Extra; 9.20 Style Wacky Races; 7.55 Blue Peter; 9.55 Calendar News And 9.30 Schools; 12.00 House To Challenge; 9.45 Kilroy; 10.30 8.20 Johnson And Friends; 8.35 Weather; 10.00 The Time... The House; 12.30 Baby It's You: 1.00 Can't Cook, Won't Cook; 11.00 The Record; 9.00 Standard Place; 10.30 This Morning; 12.20 Ellen; 1.30 Juliet's Balcony News: Regional News: Weather; Grade Modern Studies; 9.20 The Calendar News And Weather, 1.35 FLM: Wee Willie Winkie 11.05 The Really Useful Show; History Collection: 9.45 Watch; followed by Community (1937). Shirley Temple 11.35 Change That: 12.00 News: 10.00 Playdays; 10.30 Come Announcement.; 12.30 ITN stars as the endearing clubs Regional News: Weather; 12.05 Outside; 10.45 Science Zone - Lunchtime News: Weather; 12.55 moppet who tries to bring The Alphabet Game; 12.30 Going Changes In Materials; 11.05 Home And Away; 1.20 Charlie Parkers Planet Earth Space Ark; 11.15 Le Club; 11.30 peace in a war between For A Song; 12.55 The Weather Coronation Street; 1.50 the British Empire and /. hip hop. Tt'ifuila/y~4sock, a Ircn/icd m::hi ni Show; 1.00 News: Weather: 1.30 Shakespeare - The Animated Afternoon Live; 2.20 Vanessa; spint tuc.._d debauchery, it th insurrectionists on the ( luh I'ropu hlea of fun. £2.50 Members/ £3 NUS. Regional News: Weather; 1.40 Tales; 12.00 See Hear!; 12.30 2.50 Afternoon Live; 3.20 ITN Working Lunch; 1.00 Teaching North West Frontier. A tin ihilitt. cheap studi'iu mght in Into and membership, call (W73 Neighbours; 2.05 Snowy River - News Headlines; 3.25 Calendar siipeih \cniK1. tonight \\ ilh Rachel 387577 The McGregor Saga; 2.50 As Today; 1.30 Showcase; 1.40 3.30 Collectors' Lot Vuburn. Hotch Potch House; 2.00 News; 3.30 Potamus Park; 3.40 4.00 Fifteen To One Time Goes By; 3.20 Noble Wizadora; 3.50 Bimble's Bucket; i)pin-2:im. 1:2 Nl'Slvctniv II Pleasure RIHHDS Castles; 3.30 Playdays; 3.50 Johnson And Friends; 2.10 4.30 Countdown •nk's nt'lk.vi toi il ')- 10pm. /.A'Vnc .\i re ('mirt. ami untie / reiro Everyone's Got One; 3.00 News: 4.00 Scooby Doo; 4.15 Hey 5.00 Ricki Lake duh Playing hrii-pup t\pe sounds. Casper Classics; 3.55 Hubbub; Arnold!; 4.40 Frighteners; 5.10 I'lic ( 4iui l\iird plus the odd 60s loon thrown in tor Regional News: Weather; 3.05 5.30 Pet Rescue 4.10 Prince Of Atlantis Home And Away; 5.40 ITN Early Urban Hustle. VMlh Maiats Mvivt good measine Keep .m eye "lit for 4.35 Pirates. The return of the Westminster With Nick Ross; 6.00 Friends plaviii;^ !ii[i hop. ja// -heals, ilruin and some ru-w, flyers so»>n in come in to 3.55 News: Regional News: Evening News: Weather: 5.55 1 laim ITCC entry & tlrink> circulation. 10pm 2am, £3 children's comedy-drama Calendar, followed by Local 6.25 Ant And Dec Unzipped series. Weather; 4.00 Today's The Day; 6.55 Fresh Pop l>rorno\. S-1 ipni 2. /'//.- \'i \t l.i'vi'l. bip hop - soul. 4.30 Ready. Steady, Cook; 5.00 Weather; 6.30 Tonight am, £2 5.00 Newsround 7.00 Emmerdale. The Tales 7.00 Channel 4 News Edwards 5.10 Grange Esther; 5.30 True Romance 7.55 Black Holes Of Science. \'in\l Mii\U'r< /;,•; V6AT. still searching The Underground 5.50 A Week To Remember have to deal with more tor the ht-sl local D.I talent in I The Uivti Loun^i'. Pla\ mj: exntica. 5.35 Neighbours. Mai makes a chaos. Psychologist and inventor stand with Shona, but will 6.00 Fresh Prince Of Bel Air lummond grooves, -.ound trucks. 6.25 Heartbreak High 7.30 Quayside. Alan gets his Professor Richard Gregory The Warehouse illpin 2.ini. I* / LVSOatU'i she get the message? 7.10 The O Zone. Jamie marching orders. Rosie discusses why we don't yet i'nii\ sniilffit. free entiy and bargain 6.00 News: Weather understand how glue drinks at this m-\v stuilent niL'ht. Theakston and Jayne gets embarrassed when 9pm-2am 6.30 Regional News Middlemiss meet up with Mai plays Quay Events a works! Magazines enduring Brit band the visit. 8.00 Wild Britain Nato 7.00 EastEnders. Sarah seeks Beautiful South and Aussie 8.00 The Bill. A man who killed 8.30 Brookside. Bel tries to Student (.)ul\ \ivlir. (i.nu\\ drum it comfort in an unsuspecting hais L'k' IDpni-2ain. £2. rockers Inxs. two people in a drink persuade Ollie not to give soul. Ricky is faced with a 7.30 From The Edge. This driving accident is viciously up on his family. major setback to his programme looks at the assaulted. marriage plans. 9.00 Witness: Loss Of discriminatory emigration 8.30 Loved By You. One of Innocence. Witness looks 7.30 Sportsnight - Newcastle policies in Hong Kong In Europe. Des Lynam Michael's old flames at the authorities' attempt which have resulted in bumps into his best mate. gigs introduces live coverage of to protect young vulnerable many people having to 9.00 Peak Practice. Andrew's Newcastle United's UEFA choose between staying, or children but asks are we Arts Cafe Bar Mqjestyk Cup quarter-final second- old friend Phil arrives in taking things too far? The Three Deuces Mike Flowers Pops. H.IVIM!K-\ leaving their disabled Cardale with devastating Kvn irihitcil ui/d/V leg match against Monaco children behind. 10.00 FILM: Oh My Breast at the Louis 11 stadium. news which will turn both (1994). The 8.00 The House Detectives their lives upside down. ( jnik\ ^ / y;.:»l ic Mynci + Arab Sirup. 9.30 News; Regional News; 11.45 Film Night Siv 1 nil. IN • / lin'i'io nl r/ii l)n\ 8.30 Food And Drink. Alastair 10.00 News At Ten: Weather Weather Little joins Michael Barry to 12.25 The Last Picture Show: 10.00 FILM: Dirty Rotten 10.30 Calendar News And cook calves' liver with Weather FILM: Pick Up On South Scoundrels (1988). beetroot. And Jilly Goolden Street (1953). Comedy drama about two 10.40 Network First. looks at the exotic 11.45 Around The House 1.55 The Last Picture Show: con men competing for the ingredients that go into fruit FILM: Underworld USA theatre same patch on the French 12.15 Collins And Maconie's tea. Movie Club (1960). Cliff Robertson and Riveiers. Starring Michael 9.00 Timewatch. Dolores Dorn star in this The Grand Raven Theatre Caine, Steve Martin and 12.45 Nationwide Football MeandMx

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Answers on a postcard to Leeds Student, LIU.', po box 157, OSOO 11 33 45 ieeds.lsl luh bv Friclav 21st March. 81 RAGLAN ROAD. HYDE PARK, LEEDS, LS2 9DZ I I ; - inarch 19 Flavour of the Day guide The Best of Confessions, BBC1, 8.15pm Poor old Simon Mayo. His face appears on the bloke; going out before 9pm means that the cover of The Mctry Whilchonxc all the best confessions (filling your mates !.\l><'ru'ncc Bonk (circa 1992 edition), with a sandwich with a certain bodily substance, cinema caption "Dot to Dot Pu/./le". Now, each that kinda thing...) can't be shown, and D morniiiii. he laces the prospect of having the instead we get an endless stream of "1 glued ABC (2452665) Odeon (24362JO) piss ripped out of him by Mark Radcliffe my grandad's false teeth together, lee hee" Mais Attacks. 12.30. 3 00. 5.30, 7.50 Jerry Maguire. I OO. 4 50. 7.55 during the oh-so-friendly change-over Quadrophetiu. . -!>. X.OO •hsh l';incni. 12.45.4.10.7.is type of confessions, which the average priest Rouikl. 12.45.3.10.5,35 The CrueiW. between slums. And he has to present a Best would be unimpressed with. So, Funky Si. BlihKl Ami Win, Michael. 12.50. A. 10 Of show, which, in truth, didn't really have go back to the day job, and you lot. watch .S/MWM Shine. 5.40.8.20 moybt? Codace Road (2751606) Sense and Sensibilitv 1.15. 5.0(1. X.05 any best bits. Maybe that's a little harsh on the football instead. \bis AiuieLs, 5.40. 8.20 Showcase KI1924 420622) llvde Park Pielurf House (2752(145) Shine, Harriet the Spv lerry Macuiie, Beyond the Clouds. '.45. 0.15 d Ot'l. Bound. Channel 4 Matilda. In i.ou- and \V:ir. K BBC 1 BBC 2 ITV The Loungi' (2751(1611 101 .lurry Mjjjuirc. 5 Ml S. 15 :.-IK| ,ind Win Cnuible. t-'vila. H\ Awa> Home 6.00 Business Breakfast; 7.00 6.00 Open University; 7.15 See 6.00 GMTV; 9.25 Chain Letters, 6.00 Sesame Street; 7.00 The BBC Breakfast News; 9.00 Hear Breakfast News; 7.30 The followed by ITN News Headlines; Big Breakfast; 9.00 Bewitched; Breakfast News Extra; 9.20 Style Wacky Races; 7.55 Record 9.55 Calendar News And 9.30 Schools; 12.00 House To Challenge; 9.45 Kilroy; 10.30 Breakers Gold; 8.20 Teddy Weather; 10.00 The Time... The House; 12.30 Baby It's You; 1.00 Can't Cook, Won't Cook; 11.00 Trucks; 8.25 Spot; 8.35 The Place; 10.30 This Morning; 12.20 Ellen; 1.30 Hand To Hand; 1.35 News: Regional News: Weather; Record; 9.00 Jeunes Calendar News And Weather, Through The Glass Ceiling 11.05 The Really Useful Show; Francophones; 9.25 See You, followed by Crimestoppers; 1.55 FILM: Drive A Crooked clubs 11.35 Change That; 12.00 News: See Me; 9.45 Words And 12.30 ITN Lunchtime News: Road (1954). Melodrama Regional News: Weather; 12.05 Pictures; 10.00 Playdays; 10.30 Weather; 12.55 Home And starring Mickey Rooney as an honest mechanic and Caspers Pleasure Rooms The Alphabet Game: 12.30 Going Numbertime; 10.45 Go For It: Away; 1.20 Emmerdale; 1.50 Britpop, indie and dance. £5 'I'lii-Ciuilhlt: 4.-t5pm-2ani t-4 racing driver led into a life For A Song; 12.55 The Weather 11.00 Around Scotland; 11.20 Afternoon Live; 2.20 Vanessa; entn with 5 free beers and eheap drinks. Hai busic~ open at 'MWpni for (lie eager' Music Makers; 11.40 Science In 2.50 Afternoon Live: 3.20 ITN of crime by Dianne Foster Hmrv guaranteed for the eai !y arrivers Show: 1.00 One O'clock News: Action; 12.00 Spanish Globo; News Headlines; 3.25 Calendar and her gangster boyfriend Courtyard Weather; 1.30 Regional News: .Wrvw. more (h.m jusl another ptih qtii/. Underground 12.05 History File; 12.30 Working News: 3.30 Tots TV; 3.40 The Kevin McCarthy. «ilh Dais) A: lla\,v spinning Ihe limes Mo\v»iiup. night of northern soul, siax. Weather; 1.40 Neighbours; 2.05 Lunch; 1.00 The Geography Blobs; 3.50 Sooty & Co; 4.10 3.30 Collectors' Lot and providing the Inn. IIIOIO\\M and N)s Ix-a! with residents Ed Police Rescue; 2.50 As Time Programme; 1.20 Thunderbirds In Animaniacs; 4.20 Pinky And The 4.00 Fifteen To One and John. Goes By; 3.20 Well Worth A Visit; 4.30 Countdown Edwards I0pm-2am. £3 before 11 pin. £3.50 alter. French; 1.25 Zig Zag: The Anglo- Brain; 4.40 Cone Zone; 5.10 Club l'ri>i>u-tinrn l:> hurt n M.'iK/ti in Salurila . 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John Major has been Prime Minister for six years. In an unprecedented interview, he tells DAVID SMITH why he believes the Conservatives will win the General Election. Illustrations by DANIEL HARNESS • m OHN Major, sitting comfortably in Downing Street, is a man at ease with himself. Outside there is talk of an election which will banish him without ceremony to the political wastelands. You would not think it by the in his face. Within Number 10's historic walls he Jappears serene and at home, barely aware the nation expects him to be moving out in a few short weeks. Our equanimous Prime Minister may be convinced that, when the battle comes, he will see off all-comers with the boy's own heroics of a favourite batsman. "Our policies have transformed Britain in the past 18 years," he says firmly. "We have the best set of economic prospects for a generation. And we are the only party with the experience t and policies to deliver stability and prosperity into the millennium and beyond." ^. »arfy who are untried and untested9 Out/oolc 14.03.97 ut on hi own

This from a man who - think people will want to risk Tony Blair would swap all his been unpopular but they have measures which empowered politicians pu//ling over how in a phrase once used by a party who are untried and spin doctors for. the common worked." tie insists. "We are the police to crack down on to bring it back to life. The Major loyalist David untested." touch. seeing the benefits of our raves and public great battle for the student The words are spoken with The real John Major is decisions up and down the demonstrations. Safe in the vole waits to he fought, not so Mellor- is thought to be conviction, by one w ho something more than country and the future is distant confines of Number obviously between the parties drinking in the last chance genuinely believes that ordinary. In small scale bright." 10. it is hard to believe the bin simply to make it Implicit. suioon. On the contrary. reports of Conservative situations he is special. i|uite The gap between rich and Prime Minister can ever begin Despite campaigns like John Major intends to toast demise have been adept at putting guests at their poor, for example, has to understand the sentiments 'Rock the Vote' adding the year 2000 right here, exaggerated. There is no ease while still commanding widened considerably under that rise from grass-roots 250.000 to the electoral and to go on and on and on mistaking the resolve and their attention. He is expert in ( onscrxative rule, yet Major level. register, a significant displaying all the fortitude purpose in his expression, using a room to his has no regrets. "Encouraging His version of the Act, of proportion of students will of his predecessor. He may suggesting he believes the advantage, ensuring all eves enterprise is in everyone's course, is entirely different: not turn up on polling day. "1 he the last Conscrx alive fight is still there to be won. follow him wherever he interests but that does not "Recorded crime in England very much hope this will not who still thinks it possible. And in a strange way he is moves. Charisma is not a mean the rich get richer at the and Wales had fallen by 10 be the case and that students "At the last election the more comfortable as the word often associated with expense of the poor. percent in the past three will vote at the election." the polls consistently predicted a underdog, revelling in the John Major, but should he "There has been a years, and the Act - which Prime Minister responds. Labour victory." he is at pains prospect of a battle against transfer iiis appeal to the substantial increase in all failed to attract support from "Politicians need to retain to point out. "They weic impossible odds with only dispatch box. he would not so average incomes in the past the 1 ahour party - has people's trust and respect and wrong then and 1 believe they golden-age British pluck on easily be mocked as 'grey'. 18 years and research shows contributed to this fall." he young people need to he will be wrong again. 1 don't his side. Yet the story about nice. that nearly half of those on says bra/enly. "It was a wide- involved. It is important they He's clone it before, ot charming John who's not so the lowest incomes move into ranging measure to protect the play their part in deciding course. John Major is polities' bad when vou meet him is all a higher income band within a public and improve the which party forms the next great survivor, staying afloat too much of a cliche. One year." inxestimation and prosecution government and will best through six turbulent years of _ of crime. serve their interests." slea/e allegations, sexual "For Yet for Major more could indiscretions, internal strife example, it mean less. Young people and pure incompetence. They strengthened traditionally do not vote for rocked the part), not the man. 'Education has the laws on his party, and Labour has Like Margaret Thatcher, he child even estimated that the 2.5 was skilful enough to ensure pornography, million who failed to vote at few brickbats would land at allowed all last time could have swung the doorstep of Nil 10 itself. If been a priority inferences to the result in its favour. you can keep your job while he drawn Unsurprisingly therefore, it is all about are losing theirs, as from a Labour which has been the his favourite poet Kipling for the past 18 suspect's prime mover behind 'Rock might have observed, vou will refusal to the Vote', believing - quite remain the party's strongest answer understandably that if the asset for sheer bloody minded questions and hidden army of students can resilience. years' introduced be motivated to vote in the This time, with Tories 4 new measures first place, they will settle for tugging his arms out of their for dealing Tony Blair as the least worst sockets from opposite cuds of feels awkward at the But there have been losers with young offenders who option. Can John Major hope the political spectrum. Major dichotomy of listening to a in Major's Britain, for all his commit serious offences." to compete with a Labour would be justified in politician who. while in every initial promises of a 'classless The Prime Minister speaks leader who has already said regarding the party as his wax personable and polite, is society'. Anyone walking w ith total earnestness, his three priorities for the ssl electoral liability On also the cause of intense through Leeds on a given day unaware of the grim irony election are education. . n, he still heats Tony resentment among so many. It will encounter the homeless. these words have for his education and education'.' Blair in all the popularity may be harder to dcmonise rarely given a voice in the libertarian critics, who were "Education has been a contests, landing the title of someone so apparently debate about then plight. In concerned especially with the priority for the Conservative Personality of the Year as ordinary but it a man is to be the comfort of Downing abandonment of the right to party tor the past IS years." recent I v voted by listeners of judged by his actions. John Street they do not seem an silence. Major and his party lie returns, pleased to trade Radio 4's Tmltiy programme. Major is guilty of some of the urgent problem. What would seem totally disconnected soundbites. "It will continue We're told it's because he's most despised policies of the Prime Minister do if he from the political mood in to be alter the election. Our ordinary honest, polite, even iccent British history himself has been 18 years old. most student organisations, priority then will be to build that he has a more genuine "I've taken hundreds of homeless and unable to find yet in the context of Downing on our economic success and smile than his Labour tough decisions in my time as woik1.' Disappointingly, the Street his words are perfectly set out policies which opponent. He has that quality Prime Minister. Some have defences go up and there is congruous. For it is the increase choice and extend only the standard party student movement which has opportunity for everyone. response: "We recognise the fallen increasingly out of "We don't have to say it links between homelessness touch with mainstream three times, because we mean and unemployment. Since politics, to the extent that it." ](M\. we've supported a many now dismiss New Answer that. Mr Blair. The number of initiatives aimed at Labour in the same breath as Prime Minister relishes these helping young people break the Conserx atixes. verbal duels, as the last few out of this cycle." months at Westminster have He goes on: "All young "OW to win them shown. Only in such moments people not in full time back. It is the problem might you glimpse a flash of education or in employment HI.baffling election the steel beneath his are guaranteed a training strategists as much as any impeccably mild manners. place on Youth Training and other. Legend has it. of There is no apparent love lost the vast majority of those course, that students used to between the two leaders, completing training find work be politically turned on and so perhaps only a grudging or go on to fuither education. leftwing that even Old Labour mutual respect, not aided by "As a result of our shuddered. The red party an age gap of 10 years. As the policies, the number of people could at least bank on the best younger man. Blair, who did accepted as homeless is on a part of the youth vote, except go to university, might be dovv nward trend as is the of course for that political confident ol appearing more number of people looking for anomaly called the 'Young in tune with student wants. work." Conservatives'. John Major, Yet his plans to scrap the The Criminal Justice Act. born in ll)4.v missed out on maintenance gram have lost which came into force in the heady day s of student him many friends, and when 1944. was savaged by the politics through not attending approached by /.tr

MINISTER'S ANSWERS

"Existing housing legislation requires any landlord lo ensure that his accommodation is In tor human habitation. Local councils have the power lo order landlords to carry out work lo ensure that this is so or they caii carry out the necessary works themselves and charge the owner. "But the Housing"Act 1996 introduced extra measures where a house is occupied by more than one household. Landlords ha\c a specific duty to ensure the house is 111 for the number of occupants. For example, this duty includes a requirement to ensure the house has adequale lire safely precautions. "All landlords must also pun idc tenants with a certificate continuing that the necessary salety checks have been carried .nil."

"Our view remains clear. We have no intention of opportunity to score over his to keep pace. It's a simple committal, adopting a Blairitc bosses of privatised utilities legislation in addition to the legalising any drug adversary. "Before young equation, but one which Major deference lo the future: "We and on Ihis case Major, as so student loans legislation." that is currently people cast their vole, they manages to find a way round. have established a nation-wide often in the Commons, refers It is a rosy v ision. and one banned. I believe need to look at what is "Comparing students per tutor Committee ol Inquiry under the questioner lo the answer he you would almost like to legalisation would happening in Britain today," and the number of library Sir Ron Dcaring lo examine gave a lev. moments ago: "It's share. Sitting with such calm lead to greater abuse he continues. "We're in our books with prev ious figures the future of higher education worth remembering assurance. John Major and greater harm to sixth year ol economic ignores developments in in the light of this rapid universities employ hundreds possesses the self-belief which individuals and we will continue growth. We have lower taxes. methods of teaching and growth. I regret lhat those of staff and have budgets that can soon begin to infect those to crack down on the drug low inflation, the lowest learning and innovations in universities considering run into millions. They are around him. Even in the eye of menace." mortgage rates for nearly 30 technology. charging top-up fees now are responsible for managing their a storm which threatens to years and falling "I wouldn't want to see the prejudicing the outcome of own affairs and they must wreck the Conservative unemployment. quality of higher education in this Inquiry." recruit and train suitable machine, he retains an air of "Labour's policies threaten this country sacrificed in the One such university is people to ensure this is done." quiet confidence sufficient to that success. Take jobs. We interests of quantity." LMU. whose Vice-Chancellor, He revisits more familiar put anyone he meets at iheir "I have met many have more of our people in Such is the territory with the ease. It is an admirable trait, world leaders in the work than any other major quantity now problem of and opponents would be past six years to European country. In France that the tax student loans. foolish to underestimate a man discuss a wide variety over a quarter of young people payers say no 'Labour's Government who is already the second of issues. Rarely do we are unemployed and in Spain more. The plans to privatise longest serving Prime Minister clash personally it's over 40 per cent. Both Government the scheme are since the war. although discussions countries have a minimum has signalled policies naturally under But John Major has an can be frank and wage and the Social Chapter - a readiness to attack because albatross around his neck, and disagreement on policies Labour are committed put the brakes of fears students it is called the Conservative matters of policy frequent." to introducing." on expansion threaten our will be left at the Party. It looks to him for He adds: "New in its mercy of the survival, yet it is the party that employment rights sound submission to hanks. Major is will drag down the man. the harmless and appealing but the the Dearing success' having none of policies which will finally reality would be quite Committee of it. "Every time we outweigh the personality. He different. These are the facts Inquiry into Higher Education. I'rotessor Leslie Wagner, announce a privatisation Bill, will fight a glorious tight and "The tradition of students must consider." With as many as one in three originated the top-up fees our opponents immediately suffer an honourable death, a sending up politicians Closer to home, critics in young people entering concept more than a year ago denounce our plans and warn martyr for the Conservative goes back hundreds ihe Labour-dominated university, 'lop-up fees' is the The subsequent storm was of poorer sei v ices and higher cause betrayed by the flaws of of years. Politicians National Union of Students dreaded phrase of the moment, predictable: Wagner also costs. On each occasion they his colleagues. To picture it in often take themselves point to another set of facts bringing with it all the happened to be the second have been wrong." terms of John Major's beloved far too seriously. that must equally be baggage of an implied two-tier highest university boss in the He adds robustly: "I'm sport, cricket, the Prime As for image, w hat considered. The Government university system. country with a salary of confident that students will Minister will watch his learn is really important to record. Higher education has Yet Michael Howard has 11 25.000. earning more in a benefit from privatisation in llnow away their wickets and voters is how a expanded phenomenally in insisted in /.<-<'

• Oh. East is East, and West is West, and never the twain shall meet, Till Earth and Sky stand presently at Clod's great Judgement Seat; But there is neither East nor West, Border, nor Breed, nor Birth, When t\ro strong men stand face to face, though they come from the ends of the earth! /

H IS opens Kipling's bit ot wish-fulfilment tor him: it's then, 'hut she lovelh ihe \onn^er heroic verse about the about a swashbuckling hero who hesl.' conquers divisions, just what he Ttriumph of nobility would like to do to the divisions in Another Kipling classic, the over cultural and political his part\ where "never the twain enduringl) popular // -. could also he division. shall meet'." interpreted as an appeal to the man John Major's choice conies as The subtext mav contain more pu//ling when to call an election he litlle surprise. He is well known disturbing omens tor the Crime will almost certainly lose: to harbour affections lor the old Minister. Squee/ed bv pro- and anti- England which nestled in its Europeans he might well feel "There Ifs'tni enn trust yourself when nil is rock to the left and the right" - men tloiihl von. hosoni 'long shadows over the unless the) can be persuaded to Kill make iillownnee /or their cricket pitch' and 'old maids "hold bv tiie blood of my clan". don/Hint; too: cycling to church'. (Though he is If van can wtiir mid not he tired h\ seemingly still to grasp the irony ND should the election waiting, motiv ating Orwell's elaborate require an injection of drama Or hci/u; lied iihonl. don '/ iletil in imagery - the denial thai such 011 Athen Kipling could oblige. Hey Knglund never existed.) Imagine Major and Blair's Or hi'ini; lulled, don 'l e/i'<-' wn\ to tn Kipling the Prime Minister will confrontation in battle: hating, t'inil the quintessential gulden age poel. ANo kiumn to he the favourite I'hey have looked each other There is advice to aid Major's of Margaret Thateher and several hctween the cvc.v. mid there the\ return to the soap box: other prominent Conservatives this found no fault, century Kipling's verse embodies They have uiken the Onth of the If you can talk with crowd* tind kee/> traditional Ton, values like Hrother-in-Hlood on leavened hrend \oiir virtue. individual achievement and ami Mill: Or walk with Kings - nor lose the nationalistic pride. llie\ luive tiiken the Oath of the co/ninon loin li "There is no coincidence in a Hrolher-in-Blood on fire und f'resh- Ton leader choosing one of the ciil Mill, And followed finallv bv some British Empire's greatest apologists." On the hill and the hiift of the Klivher speculative words tor the election savs l)i John McLeod. lecturer in knife, and the \\omlroii.\ \unie* of itself: English at Leeds University "The God. Hiilltid eelebi ales heroism and the /I neither friends nor loving foe-, can conquest ot diflerenee. The Prime Minister will he hurt you, "It is aggressive and inaehu hoping one line in particular does not It nil men count with \ou... everything John Major isn't." prove true of Ihe electorate: I )r Mel .end adds: "The poem is a 'He he two Mroni; men. ' Miid Kuintil MAJOR'S 'NO' TO COMMON If I could have a one-to-one..? WHICH historical figure does Other parallels are perhaps not of Home's election as leader. He INTERPLANETARY CURRENCY John Major most identify with? so obv ions. Macleod wax praised was criticised as "too clever by LS: Following the discovery ot" possible "It would probably he the by colleague Alee Douglas-Home. half after sharing uictics with a life on Mars last year, do you believe in lain Macleod. a former Chancellor Prime Minister in the mid-'dUs, certain Edward Bov le - now tai the existence of life on other planets and, of the Exchequer. tor "his brilliant oratory, which belter known as a Leeds if so. how would eontact with an alien "His belief in a soeieiv where could be relied upon to leave his L niveisitv library race affect the nature of world polities'.' there should be no harriers to political opponents speech!• Macleod became Chancellor in l PM: No. success mirrors my own political Macleod had been involved in l »7()hui held Ihe office foronlv aspirations." politic.il manoenv rings at the time one month prior to his death. > 28 OirtfooJr 3 Honesty is the best policy

Don Foster admits the cost of his bold promises for education. He reveals Liberal Democrat battle plans to TINA BURRETT and JACOB HICKEY

ON Foster is the prevents the Liberal Democrats "II we begin to lackle some of w ay s of working together on community in the fight against man responsible staging an all out attack. With a the problems in society, such as issues we have in common". As crime". broad battle front targets are the disrepair of our schools we the terraine changes political In an attempt to claw back lost Dfor the drowning of selected strategically. are going to create jobs in the allies and enemies can inter territory on the justice system . Chirs Patten in Bath at "There is no way we can put construction industry which will change. "We must reveiw the way our the 1992 election. The in the sums of money ultimately in turn create jobs in other " A few years ago we were judiciary works. We need to get image of Patten fighting the sector needs initially because sectors. If you lixik at the willing to work with the Tones on younger offenders .through the it would have a damaging effect opportunity lor increasing Maastncl against Labour". system. At the moment they back tears brought solace on the economy of the countrv." nursery places and decreasing A clear open strategy is the simply raise two lingers to the to Labour and Liberal One ot the casualties of the class si/cs that will create a game plan for the Liberal judiciary". supports alike as they Liberal Democrats war on all demand tor more teachers". I Vmocrai ami). In the aftermath of the election came to terms with fronts is a "We are the a reordering of top brass personel another five years of Tory commitment to ^"^ only part) that is is likelv. Loval trooper Foster can a universal • honest enough to not invisage such a senario and rule. grant system. sav what our backs his Cornmander-in-Chief. Since then Foster has "We are 'A pact witl policies are. what "It is almost inconceivable become one of General unhappy about they will cost and that Faddv would go. It he did Paddy's most valuable anv form of where the money decide to leave the leadership lieutenants, commanding ilk- funding that Labour is will come trom". there are a number of people the education battalion. has to be paid Labour's part) could consider. Charles Waging war on ihe present hack but there battle plans, in Kennedy. Simon Hughes or slate of education he charges llie has to be a contrast, are a Men/ies Campbell." system ol unlikely' closely guarded As the campaign reaches Us sjov eminent with bombing higher education inlo submission. loans to ^^ secret.: "Labour are tortuous conclusion Foster and "We now have o\er crowded provide suflicient prepared to will the his troops have final decisions 10 leeiure iheaires. crumbling money so that students are not The Tor) war machine being ends but are not prepared to will make. Do thev jump into the buildings, a shortage o!'books living in povertv. The repayment primed with ammunition, the ihe means to achieve those ends. Labour trench or rail) to the and equipment and worst of all system needs to be make fairer, Liberal Democrats are reluctantly \\e wain to get rid of grain battle cry of the Liberal cause demoralised Mall working in the based on the ahilit) to pa\". looking across the trenches tor maintained schools but we don't Whether the charge over the student .sector. We ha\e a greater Alter graduation students must rcements have a fudged wav of doing it". top will leave them stranded number of students suffering walk through the minefield of the "I think a pact with Labour is has plans too for the fighting a rear guard action in no Irom poverty, r job market. Lieutenant Foster has uel) unlikel). however after war on crime "The police can't man's land or sharing in the accommodation" the issue of unemployment in his the election I hope the Libeial tackle crime alone, bobbies on Ihe of power remains to be seen. A scarcity of resources sight. Democrats and Labour can find heat would mobilise the 14.03.97

Outspoken Leeds graduate Clare Short could be a Government Minister within weeks. She talks to TINA BURRETT about women in politics and students in poverty

OLITICAL Perhaps this is how she sees so main headaches when Clare employment, we were the kicky up his hammer and sickle an era world is going. I think things will gaffer, Judas or her role within the Labour turns to the subject of her generation. We didn't have a lot ended. The optimism and improve and we will have a new Party with whom she has a university days. of money but we were contented. radicalism of the '60s is now idealistic period. I hope so honest love-hate relationship. "1 have a lot fondness for we didn't get into debt, it was distant memory. The number of because too much of this is politician? The A willingness to answer Leeds, it's special in that it is big simply a better time to be a students willing to vote, let alone killing me." Pmedia periodically questions openly and honestly enough to have everything you student." start a revolution, is frighteningly Another much missed relic of ivuikes Clare Short seem like need from a city and small The 1960s were the golden low, Clare Short has no doubt the sixties is the universal grant churn out anything other than a politician, enough so that you can get out to years of student politics. where to lay the blame. system. It seems Clare did not contradictory images however, to her detriment she has some really beautiful Students everywhere donned "Politics and politicians ha\e spend sleepless nights in her of Clare Short, leant that having a quick, sharp countryside. 1 still have fond their DMs and reaching for their failed people. I do sympathise, Chapel Town flat fretting about tongue can lead to the cutting of memories of the staff in the placards to protest about sometimes I sit in the chamber at how to made ends meet, nor does Labour's spokesperson your own throat. In recent politic department. I enjoyed my everything from Vietnam and to Prime Minister's question time she belie\e her successors should on Overseas months she has been in the press course. I ne\ er \\ as a swot but I the banning of pirate radio. and feel embarrassed to be there. either. Development, so much for her comments on tax. did enough to get something out Surprisingly Clare Short was not Young people feel let down. We "I had a full grant and you cannahis and Blair's of it. These were the pan of the vanguard of these were all excited when the Berlin could live on it and get jobs in so that on meeting her spindoctors. days of full campaigns. I had no idea what to A former student at "I wasn't very turned on by expect. Leeds University. 11 is the activities of the students' **& 'Students have hard to imagine the union, they were quite silly. I In reality none of the voting Clare Short remember two Tory MPs were numerous caricatures silting in the Old invited to the university, there to take on three accurately depict the Bar dreaming of a were demos and people were life on the spitting at them. I don't like this woman the media love to kind of politics. It was the sixties, jobs and are knock. political stage that cast her in the union was dominated by the Something about Clare such a ultra Left, now we ha\e gone full unable to attend Short is reminiscent of an controversial circle. I'm still pretty much in the former school teacher, the role. same political space as I was to their studies' t\pe who is deliberately hard Affection then. At that time people like on you for your own good but creeps into the .lack Straw were running the who you only come to \oice that lias students' union and were way to wall came down and Mandela the holidays. The destruction of caused Tony Blair the Left of me." Surely this can't was released. It seemed like the lhe gram system was done for appreciate when it is too late. he the same Jack Straw who is dawn of a wonderful new era. we ideological reasons - grants cost currently making Michael would no longer spend all our a lot of money in the short term. 1 Howard look like a big-softy- money on weapons and could gel lots of case work with liberal on law and order.' As spend it on something students who have horrendous comrade Jack worthwhile. Compare this to debts that 1 wouldn't have dared where we are now. look at to take on when 1 was a student." Rwanda. Yugoslavia and the Despite all her protestations inequality in the world It's about sympathising vviih today's - dangerous, people are giving up downwardly mobile student on democracy. population, ('laic Short does not "Young people do care about advocate a return to the funding things, like the environment and system out of which she and her poverty but they think politicians contemporaries did so well. aren't going to deliver. The "Labour realise we can't re- globalising of the world's instate the grant and increase the economies has restricting what number ol students in the system. the nation-state can do. Countries We are committed to a universal Ininv; have to learn to work together to loan system onh repayable once achieve anything on the big you reach a decent level of questions, like the long term state income, when you will have io of the environment. There is a pay a bit more on national new ly pe of politics which insurance. It doesn't need to politicians don't understand, they bother people because they will just want to strut around on the only pay it back it thev get the world stage and say 'Britain used economic benefits of their to be great and we can tell people degree. It is really the equivalent what to do'. They aie unable to of what faced my generation, a adjust to were the world has got more progressive tax system. to. making the debate that does Those who do well out of their take place extremely irrelevant to education should pay a bit more the young who can see were the back into the pot. I think this is Out/oo/cl »

SHORT STRAW: Clare was a student at Leeds University in the '60s when Jack was President of LUL) and "way to the left of her" where logic takes us and it will complete lie. The tax burden is give everyone security again." currently placed on the The difficulties thrown up shoulders of lower and middle In the funding question only go income people, creating a trap hall way in explaining the tor Labour. II Labour mention insecurities harboured by an any more taxes people, who are increasing number of students. already strained think it means The other worry for main is the them. People who ought to look threat ol unemployment after lo Labour don't." graduation. ('lare Short's comment on "We are in the ridiculous tax was just one in a series of situation where we have record statements she made that the unemployment but we ha\e media eloquently dubbed a students working three jobs and 'gaffe'. Another was her are unable to attend to their seemingly uncontrovcisial call studies. Graduates are working for a royal commission on the in jobs beneath their level of legalisation ol cannahis. education whieh in turn "I find it depressing that squee/cs otheis out of a job. saying there are important The Keynesian multiplier still questions about how drugs are C'lare Short has been accused Transport to Overseas implementing Labour's Overseas distorts parliaments works, you have to unravel the handled and. because of letting her emotions interfere Development. In characteristic Development policies. "Labour understanding of what people vicious downwards cycle and politicians can't talk honestly with her political judgements. form Clare Short let her will cease lo treat overseas want and where we ought to be mine the economy in a more about it. it might be best to set a There is something peculiarly displeasure be known development as charity. The going. We have had positive virtuous direction. It you can royal commission, is considered British about the way we expect 'The way the move came government have reduced the discrimination lor centuries in get more people into work you outrageous. I think the debate our politicians to function like about I didn't like, but if I'd been argument to how big the aid favour of men. We will hav e don't ha\e to spend so much on on drugs will break away to an robots only to complain later that offered the choice of the two in budget should be. The view is about 90 women in Parliament social security and tax returns arena outside of politics and they are completely the first instance 1 would have the poor are always wiih us and after the election. This number is go up so more can be spent on will come back into politics via dispassionate. The contradictions taken Overseas Development. we can't do anything about it. big enough to change the whole education and training." intelligent people. In the mean that appear in C'lare Short's Labour have a commitment that I abour will turn the current view culture of the place, it will The Keynesian model, the time I've been temporarily political pronouncements owe it will be a cabinet post, not just of development around. We become normal for women to be bread and butter stuff ol all dri\en into silence." realise that lack of human there." Politics and Economics A-le\el The silencing, or semi- development is linked to lack of All this from the woman who courses, has won little public silencing, ol Clare Short is economic development. Look at said in the wake of her move support from New 'markel- further e\ idence of dictatorial 'They expected the Tiger economies, they have from Transport that she would orienlaled' Labour. Mans attitude of those al the top of transformed themselves, not by not encourage her own daughter Labour Mi's would privately the Labour Party. The down the monetarist path, to pursue a career in politics. support what Clare Short has democratic tradition ol the women to be bul with slate intervention. Our Was this another submission to said publicly on the economy Labour Parly has been replaced policy will change liom sentiment? and tax. but the imminence of by the 'cult of Tony'. which compliant and dolloping out aid to areas of "I ask myself 'would I do this the general election has demands religious devotion and disaster to averting those ;i with my life'.'' There is rendered them unquestioning faith. Tony and kept on bashing disasters in the first place." plenty of excitement, but it takes uncharacteristically silent. The his disciples met with Clare 9 It was lor her stance on a lot from your life loo. 11 we fren/y whipped up by the media Short's distinctive brand of women's rights thai C'lare Short form a really successful late last year when C'lare spoke criticism last year. me down first reached notoriety in government and turns Britain out on tax explains why so "I love democracy and I love Westminster. The treatment thai round it will have been worth it. many MPs are remaining tight the truth. All I have ever much to her emotional tendency. nuclei the jurisdiction of the she has endured since entering If we don't it won't have been lipped. wanted is to be able lo air my Sitting opposite her it is clear Foreign Office as it is now. The Parliament has only served lo worth it." "I said I thought, and still v icw s and then I'm happy to be that Clare Short cares questions facing us over the strengthen her resolve on these The current political climate think, in a fair tax system bound by the vote. We are so passionately about .politics, a world economy and poverty are issues. has C'lare Short walking a tight someone on my income would pre-election that debate has passion that could easily boil infinitely more important than "In I(JS3 they didn't expect rope without a safely net. In pay more in tax. What closed down. The media over when the temperature rises questions on transport, as vital as women to be here, or if we were order to slay upright she has to happened when I said obsessively looks for division The last round of shadow cabinet it is. It says something about they expected us to be perform a difficult balancing act something as straight forward and splits. The discipline is said elections saw the elevation of British politics that Overseas compliant. I'm not like that, they between asserting her own and sensible as this was that our to be imposed by the leadership Blair's buddies at the expense of Development is seen as a lower thought "who does she think she political principles and toeing lousy media got to work saying but it is self imposed. Post those of with more independent portfolio.". is' and they kept on trying to the party line. She has already 1 was advocating an increase in election the atmosphere will be ways of thinking. Clare Short. The indignity of the move bash me down. The House of experienced a few wobbles along the tax rate for people earning different, there will be a more never seen as 'one of us' by the having lost its sting, Clare Short Commons doesn't represent the the way, one more could see her £35,000 a year, which was is a free flow of discussion." leadership, was demoted from now looks forward to talents of the country, this plummeting to the ground. Clare Short's passion for politics can easily boil over Out/oofr 14.03.97

Immmk N his latest book •Climbing Mount IImprobable'. Richard Hawkins continues his enthralling story of natural selection. The God of The central theme of this book is the evolution of improbably complex facets of nature, such as the human eye, the ability lo IIy and the spider's web. Humans throughout history ha\e tended to view such objects as the wondrous creations of a divinity. Hawkins dispels delusions of di\ ine creation by showing that Darwin's theory of natural selection can describe the evolution of all of these apparently evolution miraculous facets of nature. These objects are not niracles after all. Their In the godless world of Richard Dawkins only the fittest survive subtlety has arisen through he utterly simple principles if random mutation and non- andom natural selection, and religion is merely a mental virus. The guru of selfish genes md they're all the more >eautiful for that. Our awe at the outrageous .science^ explains all to BARRY McKERNAN. Pictures by DAVID SMITH omplexity and usefulness of ibjecis like the human eye is effected in the 'Mount T'S easy to see that humans is not such a bad idea if showed themselves in the form There are those, particularly "It's very important we mprohahle' metaphor used the number of clones is limited. of differential death before on the political right, who see in shouldn't allow our revulsion to hrouehout the book. Richard Dawkins "We should avoid reflex vuk reproduction, nowaday s in Darwinism a tenable social and Hai w inism in polities to spill doesn't live on an reactions to anything unnatural. civilised societies it's quite hard political ideology. over into science." Hawkins I If the number of people seeking to die young. Haw kins vehemently continues more seriously. academic salary alone. lo be cloned was negligible then "Such natural selection thai disagrees. "Under Darwinism. "'1 here's nothing wrong with His house is it doesn't seem to me to do any there is is going on in nature is red in tooth and claw. Darwinism from a scientific impressively large and harm - although reducing icproduction directly and not in We shouldn't have any illusions point of v iew. It's just true." rambling in a leafy suburb diversity would be a serious suiv ival to reproduce. Take a about that. My value system It's obv ious that Darw inism of Oxford. consideration. Maybe a good frivolous example. There are says Darwinism is an evil if it's [loses real problems for The living room is lined first step would be a Gallup poll probably people walking imported into human society. believers in a designer. with hooks, weighted lo see how many people want to around today because their "Don't let Darwinism take Dawkins makes no bones about strongly in favour of the be cloned." parents were incompetent at over in human society." this and seems to relish it. Hawkins agiees the using contraceptives. So if Dawkins emphasises. "Learn "Certainly. post-Darwinism, seienees. One shelf contains development of cloning is there's any genetic what it is and build your believers in a designer have Dawkins compares our eopies of Dawkins' own one example of politics and been driven back into the wondering disbelief to a hooks including what look our intelligence ethics on anti- physical sciences to questions great mountain that appeals like oriental translations. and science Darwinian like the origin of the universe." heer and unscalable. We Hawkins' work has made undercutting the principles. One of explain the staggering 'God turns Some creationists appear to him something of a hate figure evolutionary the reasons I'm lake comfort from the fact that mprobability of facets of among creationists. He speaks processes that keen that people certain scientists like the writer nature by a divine leap up in even, measured tones of a have iiot us this should learn Paul Davies believe in a God. he face of this 'Mount blind, competitive nature where far. mprobable'. out to be an about Darwinism Dawkins dismisses the point. genes fight to survive. A nature Contraception is as a warning. "The sophisticated deity of Hawkins then where there is no God and no is another such metaphorically takes us Hawkins Paul Davies seems to have underlying reason. instance. finds it an absolutely nothing in common •ound to the other side of There's a story that his "Contraception equation' amusing irony with the Judeo-Christian God. his mountain where the books have been banned by the undercuts natura gradual slopes of natural thai among the Such a deity would have no theology department of a New selection. If one could imagine component to this religious right in the United truck with trans-substantiating selection take us upwards Zealand university on the genes having a voice, they oward the improbable incompetence then we have States today there are politically wine or blessing marriages. In grounds that the lecturers feared would be protesting vigorously selection in favour of it." extreme conservatives who are any case a primordial heights of flight and the for their students' beliefs. spiders web. at contraception." Dawkins firmly believes this also extreme anti-Darwinians intelligence doesn't explain Dawkins appears regularly This rise of human Darwinistic world-view is here "If they actually thought about anything because it raises a This book contains within in various media commenting t some of the best science intelligence and the rampant to stay. "Any succeeding theory it for a moment they might bigger problem than it solves." on the genetic issues of the day. development of science has led wouldn't contradict it. There realise Darwinism from a Other scientists like Stephen writing that you will ever Most recently, he's spoken read. Dawkins is a man to an absence of strong modern may be further minor political point of view could be Hawking suggest that if we find on the implications of the natural selection pressures on overthrowing among competing their best ally. They might start a unified theory of everything clearly awed by the beauty cloning experiments recently humans. Dawkins explains: of nature and greatly admires versions, but no major embracing Darwinism for all in physics, then "we will know performed in Scotland. "Unlike the past, where most overthrow of the theory in the the wrong reasons!" He the mind of God". Dawkins he aesthetics of natural Dawkins feels the clonine of natural selection pressures selection. sense of Darwin's original " chuckles at the thought. disagrees. When Dawkins waxes lyrical about certain facets of nature, his writing is as close to poetry as prose can get. The section on flight for HE story of human disociations over hundreds of Over thousands of generations example, is more of an ode thousands of years, modern it becomes likely that the physical to avians than Keats could evolution goes back six million years to Africa. humans came to be. appearance of these individuals ever imagine. T Natural selection is the engine would become specialised owing Huge expanses of land Dawkins shows that the of evolution. It is the evolutionary to ihe dominance of the selected ntricate beauty of nature separated different process which can favour or genes. Natural selection, the tool arises from the profoundly populations of apes, who disfavour any behaviour which is of evolution produced modem simple mechanisms of never met and never under the influence of genes humans less than 200,000 years natural selection. interbred. l-or example, as Dawkins ago. In the scale of things, we are Those who argue that This meant that after just a few suggests, if being able to throw- individuals within a remarkably science reduces our sense of thousand years of separation the well has any effect on an new species. wonder of the world couldn't original species evolved into individual's ability to survive long The arguments supporting ">e more wrong. They need separate species which were enough to have children, those evolution are widely accepted to read this book. genetically separate under the genes will have a greater chance within biology but there are Barry McKernan the science influences of natural selection. of winning through to the next dissenters within the realms of V After several such species' generation. religion. 32 Science shares with religion the claim that it answers deep questions about the origins and nature of life and the cosmos. But there the resemblance ends. Scientific beliefs are supported by evidence and get results. Myths and faiths are not and do not.

We admit that we are like apes, but we seldom realise thai we arc apes.

Religious people split into three main groups when confronted with science, the 'know- nothings', the 'know-alls' and the 'no contests'.

Child brains are gullible, vulnerable to subversion and easy prey to Moonies. Scientologists and nuns.

The meme (mental virus) for blind faith secures its own perpetuation by the simple unconcious expedient of discouraging rational enquiry.

Most people think you need a God to explain the existence ol lite. They are wrong but our education system is such that main people don't know it.

Show me a cultural relativist at 30.000 feet (in an aeroplane) and I'll show you a hypocrite.

V 55

"This equation that describes Dawkins pauses and reflects on meteorite are line then extra .ill ol phvsics will plav the role this. terrestrial lile becomes very Clod ha-, played in our history. It "It could be the origin of life- probable, possibly even means God iias never existed. is not rare but intelligence is common However the only God turns out to he nothing rare, or it could be that, potential e\ idenee comes from more than an equation." intelligence is not that our observations on Harth. Daw kins belie\es lite mi improbable, but the next step to "The eye appears to ha\e Earth started with (re- interstellar travel is. My evolved 40 times whereas development ol self-replicating intuition is that once you've got grammatical language appears to molecules. But how common intelligence then radio have evolved only once, so does he believe life is in the communication probably perhaps there is something universe ' becomes quite likely. difficult about the evolution of "If you assume life is unique, "The failure of the SETI this kind of linguistic the origin of life must be (Search for Extra Terrestrial intelligence," he concludes. ludicrously improbable, given Intelligence| project so far might Dawkins has a mission to the number of planets. So indicate ife is rare or intelligence educate the public. He believes chemists that send lightning is rare or both." he adds. that Darwinism is true and his through their primordial soups "Then there's the additional books are an attempt to persuade should predict ludicrously pessimistic possibility that the public to east off the improbable theories for the intelligent life is common but superstitious shackles of theo- origin of life. blows itself up." centnc thought. "On the other hand, if life is Dawkins agrees that if the Dawkins message is stark much more probable then we NASA findings of possible and discomforting: the God ot •need to ask: where are they'.'" primordial bacteria in a Mais evolution is extinct.

However, many Christians whole of humankind and the between the apparent view God's continuous activity as seven day s taken to create life are incompatibility between scie leeds university union essential to the evolutionary not actually days but represent and religion will continue to rage. process. "Souls have not evolved stages in evolution." As is true of so many issues riley smith hall right from the beginning, each Dawkins has shown which lack concrete answers, the human soul has been created considerable contempt tor the origin of human existence once separately by (iod." says Father claims of religion to answei deep again boils dovv n to the difference Wednesday 19th march 10.30-4.00 Nicholas George, vicar at Si questions about the origins and the between the material and the Wilfrids Church. Leeds. nature of life, Bui l-alher George spiritual. "Christianity and the creationisni argues: "Science has provided us Alex Kibble which Daw kins disclaims are not with many usable truths which arc provable, but religion is not /Next issue: The academics who\ the same thing." I say Dawkins' views are just When asked about the Bible concerned w ith the same prov able 'entertaining knockabout which version ol the origins of life, he truth, it is a spiritual quest for such dou 'I address significant issues' - g(K-s on: "In the Genesis story. truth." and want science-venus-retigion I Adam and live represent the It would appear the debate to he studied tit l*eds I nhersitv/ 14 LEEDS STUDENT Friday March 14, 1997

Write in to Helen , PO Box 157, Leeds University Union, Leeds, LS1 1UH. Alternatively, hand your message to the porters, marked for the attention of don't get mad, get personal Leeds Student or leave a message anytime, night or day on 231 4251

Hairy Back McCormack. world toi books ami nut a Turtle insight. Monk ;iml heading \our wa> ' Ihe ted roses. Una and Jaci'b \mK H;ipp> 2(lth Kinlukiy. H;rw ,i siu-.il nidil ;il JaseyBak-s Happ> 21st. \^ theGeographj Kill, hum \l:nk ,v s.u.ih WANThI).;ianiipuUT(wnh VVnuKm (HHMVIII tm (> ( > Mi.Mll\. ace ol clubs, keep eating those pi//a-- Congrats toi endless mien, lews and getting C don't get too drunk ami end \ Lucy-Ann Hunt. I would luve to squal i)r chi'M ut'ck>. 120 |x.-i week tor ;i (.U^ix/Mic Mink-Mi. Please II,illi > Snr. i 0111:1.ilul. n ions toi sun i\ ing as t'omnieiil politician in ihe country to read l^cds Student. Steve: up on the hard shoulder nt (fie press with you. Can JIHI Ix' rm thighniaster? Ixive oinail l.;iu *.i\ <-" I cols l^^ss .iikl keepiiii; si.ii eauipai;jniT K.ile compan> \iun ledemption trom the tUirk side was well worth 1 AI! (Bet you can't wait fd$ C'hipp> Sil\crs. DAVID CODRINGTON - 0vc me back rm %i. Chris Leadbeiiter: can i \ou write nuire ' ! unk\ producing. And Oily C 3H> M.i>il 1 ,»\ilu Wluxips s*.'»>red male, keep thinking ot holy puns. The new Pestervd/widt' load. Your shot in the dark has Thanks I ifi. grvat night that I can ivmrh at features all. thanks to Chris, Mike, new sun Kai> .unl l'\e Matle Another-(alle-AK Ouinn, my digital 1 kitls: Joe < '). Ross. Matt, Jenny, you've boxed clever miss«l thf target. We are watching you. You can Strawberry fields doubles bar, I'mono left so I'll I iHin.i st-e \ou ,11 the nieeling' Mr Oownie: you're a watch Joc-sn't work now without a RAM quadrupler already, well done. Jo andTamsin, thanks toi more waddle hut you can't hide. Saas. take you In the Bistro for a set 3 course meal, only one-man listing inai\el, keep 'emcoming. Mn. aiul no printers in Europe will give us the time ot da\ fine pages, don't von |ust lo\e Simon Jetlen, ' Hum own Mr.UnivereeHIPau] 'Chip' Summers LCI £650, Steve. (Xi and I'M - lanlass inter\ iew league, uui're shll but he>. \on"re a nmuse master and a unique Welcome I mi l\w, ihe gamester supreme, a living me oil you ilimn ami mh \MU up oil llu- null Yoms STEVE WOOLLEY - ( olcite \umis llu-1 .a.Kkiik-r the masters. News. Ahhie. let's make no Jones ahoiii ehanictci Cheeis. mate. Barn McKeman, well start. Nice one Helen, ihe seller supreme, wh. lini-MM. Luiy Ann Hunt \v\RS. HIJ: tils :iml JdK ' hack PLEASE. 275-53 tt. I .ca\e a message with it. you're alua>s write on taigel. M;uul\ Kelk. slop 1 Jawkinned but n.iiural selection will weed you out ot we printing next week? Don't you love Thursdays? Snowboard - Revelation 155. good cond. inc luhcor niij! the shop W 33 23 W4O S29 thespini: about and prme again >ou'rc the kini: ol Nintendo evolution'. Kibble, keep on quibbling, 1 HnalK Hen. an f-.a>t lit loi kings, thanks loads and binding. {175. Airwalk Scrub snowboard boots I .IFTF.D - A sanctified dance part} with uplifting (,>naik. I unchiiiiK I alani, you might not know \>,hat \on'ir .1 star |)a\ul Adam, w liter supreme, you can't start counting the-da>s before media bossdom. si/c '). ;!•• no* tl^l. Quk'k.silu'r sMo«lwK»nt.jacket, house & gospel garage. Tuesda\ 18th March 10- last week's splash was but \ou'a- Shir-magic, and dodi-e ihe bouncers U as new £IIHI. Quk-ksiher snowboard pants, as new 2am ( Hanson waterproof jacket, as new tWI. M.iii "hAcis £3JO students, £5.00 adults. And i mil ions ot llianks io ihc great Gallagher toi - what can I group of friends to Kpiphone Rivoli Bavs Cuitar. black. as new O50. IXar Sarah, let's make it a night to rvmvmiK-r. All ic:.'tilai iciinndeis ot the w a\ H should be done \\tll savlncredihle Trace Klliot(;i>7SM 200\\alt 1x15 ban combo,as my Urn-. Mark. \\\ |>owe[ You're a revelation You almoM [visinded me dedicalion to the London by train? new €4 board, denesis pro rail slick, Jciniv Ja\ \ Smum. ll.i\c ,i ^ical I .iMci to change this into a picture book - ha\e timawa>. but cause and stunning plus .Sola padded bat;, as new tWt. \Vetsuit. 'Hki To Bumper < lad \N'illem, plaas for that massi\( wail lo 1\- paged in (ViolxM '^X /,, ,!\ Snuit-nt awaits pages e\er\ week. Midland Mainline, StrumiT. medium, as new tlfM). Telephone Sam: IW** rcuniiiii an- alrea under«a>. Set- >ou tlH-re ineback. Welcome super Sarah, what tun is Thereleicc well 2.W 523. hitilM»>,lo\e Birch. 1 which operates train I'l'llvs HllnttUU. h.lhllllh. \\IH>! WtMl. ssssss I'S lo ilk- i;itl \uth I!H' ink 11 >piI*'in. .11 ('"ikns Moiula\ 1 LUU HIMALAYAS SOC. TliL- rolling pin is \\.i\L-il \\\ Ix-toa laM t.in \KI-ha\L'an in dcpih mien ic\>. services from Leeds to London St.Pancras, is 1 1 (;.>oii...MIU...MIU... Helloim |>et'l-ni> ami Kslill sonictinic' phom- me \\ nli ,t Ljucsiion - 275 KK)2. presents nil \ou know. You need a new alarm clock orjusl SK\ll KS. KOLLKKIiLADERS. offering readers the chance to win some 4-Sight nudgr me harder!!! See ja soon - Squeak (Rabbit SN( )\\ IU ) \KDKKS - \VK NKKI) > < >l !! LSR is The INDEPENDENCE Ball lover) l(H>kin^ tor [K-npIr ID work on a Skateshi>v\ for our tickets. The 4-Sight ticket allows 2,3, or 4 people kctum L'Oik'li !t> I lie .mJ \s\luiii ninnini! \\tvkl \ next IM bnuidcust (21st \pril - ISth May). If Celebrating 50 years of Independence of ()ul> £7 return. Ring Paul on 2262427 or 0973 interested please contact Him on 231 424**. to travel to London and hack for an amazing total 53I737tobookaseal (dudes). Pakistan & India with: WANTED: Woman w ho ^H-S b> the name of liMIN Mtll s\\l)tV MHI \\CIL' IK-M'I i^lMlli: h.R'k Id fare of just £29.00. MANDY I ROM MMDSTONK. known aliases: Si.otl.iMll. Hull! S\UVl I'.A. WASIM AKRAM V..I-. Amanda and Auntie Joan. \\ illrin, who will brighten up my mornings from Leeds Student has 2 more sets of 4-Sight tickets to i ii'nviHis (i. H.ipp\ liinlul;i\ M;ilx-s Love2BwhhU now on? Have a top time in the sun \ don't it QUEEN'S HOTEL give away. To enter, simply answer the following ,I|\K.I\ v Hie Cat. seduce too mam Sctmritas. (ionna mivs you, love Crouching MclloiuhiivTench Mi -Wench -an MIU HeU\ on Wednesday 30th April question then either hand your answer to the still taking it ii|i the council? Claire McBare & Loverbo> Maloney & K. from dowastairs-your secret's safe with us. Time: 7.3()pm porters at Luu or send it to 4-Sight, Leeds Student, is, I'm short of cash so can we go to Straw bs Doubles bar. onl> Live Asian Music- Extras needed to appear in TWO commercials being shot at PLANET Leeds University Union, PO Box 157, Leeds, LSI place 1 can afford. 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) a body piercing studio with a different attitude ) piercings by Doug STUDENTS! FLATS AND HOUSES FOR NEXT SESSION 1997-98 ) full friendly advice • all piercing concepts discussed DISCOUNT RATES CVs, DISSERTATIONS, ) 100% hygienic and sterile studio * for 2,3 & 5 persons in Headingley area ) extensive stock of jewellry WORD PROCESSING etc * all have gas central heating, showers, alarms, microwaves, fridge/freezers, automatic washing ) fast custom jewellry service Work Carried out machines & separate lounges. ) check out the home page www.steel-dreams.demon.co.uk By Appointment to meet your deadlines * Rents £36.50 - £40.00 p.p.p.week PIERCING EXPERIENCE SINCE 1990 * Bond payable: £100.00 p.p. 2A Cliff Mount, Woodhouse, Leeds, LS6 2HP Contact Toni on (0113) 230 4156 UNIPOL CODE OF STANDARDS (24 hour answerphone available) Tel. Lynne or Derek on Leeds 231 0655 0113225 0405 HEAOINGLEY BASED J TEMPLE WAY PROPERTIES LTD BARRETT'S HOME THE REFEREE EEDS University Chaplain and EASTER TABLE TOPPERS Lpart-time MA Theology student Clive 1 CLIVE BARRETT Barrett is the Total CHAPLAIN'S CHAPS 229 Football 'Manager of admires George Graham's 2 RAJINDER BltAKIJ THEGANJAGt KIS "i performance as manager of Leeds 3= CHRIS HIRKI SSH.VVV I'l DALO VI.HINSON ^IS the Term'. SIMON BKNT XV ATI Ok I) KM 1 21 X and has created his team in 5 JAMES FEARN HOI I'ANI HI KOI S ->17 Clive, also a Leeds Graham's image, with Arsenal 6 GLEN [)ICKIN GLEN'S HOTSHOTS -> II 7= PKNNY HAWKINS Ml SI VNdSAI.I V 21)9 united season ticket holder, pair Steve Bould and Tony DOMIMCSCOI 1 Ml //\ I//I 1. Mil however needs to keep his Adams at centre-hack with Leeds' HI N SllortOS HI N/IN1IO S DRIHHI l-ks recentl) unbeatable Nigel Martyn 10= KI-\ IN 111 1 M HI i i MOON :in faith. Like many other TF and Gary Kelly in goal and at KIN MIYK.ll 1 HOLI \ND I-; VNKCIII-.oi 1 207 managers, he does not feel VKK VV< )i HIROVX 1111 VVOODII-S wing-back respective!). 1.1= I'M 1. II NNINdS JENNINCl'Sdl VNIS -MM that he can win the overall Kl( 11 VKIH.k VV BOB Is 1-1 VIS III 1,111 s Nil I/SI II" S( IIILDKI N 20< championship at the end of Champagne 1 Id INDI KIM SINI.II VVH AI'S M k I'KOHI 1 M 202 the season. Despite being confirmed as 17 ROHIN III VI) \.F.C 1 IN( lll'INS '1)11 "Liverpool vv ill start 18 REBECCA vn fCHl VII M I'll Kl 1) III! SI |W IT manager of the term and R DAW SON Hi RNING VI III H II leaking uoals. Wimbledon will receiving a bottle of ehampagne 1) VVI BUTLER 111 1-OOIIi VI 1. |i)S stop scoring and Les for his efforts. Clive has in fact :i= JONAH 1 \N HUH \s SI'llKMNll SIHI-Hl'RN'S 197 returned the huhhlv offering it for SARAH 1 lit II PANTS 197 K'rdinand will not plav loo LOVELY BUBBLY: Clive is grateful for what he has received .] Sll VV.ARI Sll V\ VRI'S SM NNI-RS l')s main more games this season eliaritv. Last term's manager of 24= IAN I'll Kl RIN(, (,kl VI I OKNIIOI HIM |'I4 the term Benjamin Onvuieghusi I'VI 1 MH 11 HORN 01 I'l 1 1 144 due to injury." also declined the champers, CLIVE BARRETT: CHAPLAIN'S CHAPS 2ft= DI-KI k HAMMOND i INI M VN II VVI nil C'li\c's prophecies have been giv ing it 10 his housemates in a D.VNII 1 HARKINdlliN Illl 1101 Kl/l VSIKIKI S VI, MNI'll quite accurate up tn date. But it 2H= JOHN l-MMl NOKI-01 K ANDl II U)2 his new predictions are vxrons:. tee total gesture of generosity. MARTYN SIMON (KMIDI 1 I I OVV llir.CTNNINCil.lNCl ISIS 142 Benjamin has slipped down KELLY GRAHAM MANN Illl 1 OOI'V Illl |i)2 his team conkl still see ihe light the league table lo 57the place, BJORNEBYE .\lll n.AI.RIMI'l.l- VVIDROW LOII/ 1X4 although he is not emirelv off the EH/OCU VDKIAN Kl 1 1 IK IIDI1MI K VVMIISI IS') pace with 183 points. BARNES I'l KVISHAH SHAH SSIIOOHNd SIARS IS') Victorious The Chaplain's final piece of BECK HAM .15= J"l IIOHHS MdRMC, 1 Kl Sll SI I'M« F.C IKH EAYLE DUNCAN Odll V II DAI NAMO Dl'NKI 'S 11 ISS If Clive was to become advice xxas for all other I I FERDINAND .17= SOOK VYAG Vkl 1 HOO II KRESTRIAL ALIANSUMII.D IS7 \ ictorious. he would spend the managers. "If you are finding the EKOKU IAN COVENTRY 1 KIGI-.LI.I-.K Ml 'SI HI RIGHT 1X7 £5(K) pri/e money on his tamilv. going tough and cannot bare the ADAMS HOWARD CLARK CLOCKWORK APPLE 187 fact that voui team is doing badly, rill E TAT LEE COOL! 1X7 kittiny them out in Leeds United 41= SIMON MACQUEEN i II 1 1 Nil s (.11 l-l-RS ixi, IN- MARTYN. GAYLE TOTAL POINTS 229 : gear and taking them all to an do not hesitate to come down to JANI S MooKiiot -.SI- IIORNI I'SGOI .1) ISd axxav game. The Chaplain the chaplaincv for counselling." OUT - WALKER. BATTY WEEK 14 PLAYERS SCORES: Will the Easter bunny bring you a basket of points?

Goalkeepers 059 I1ARTE 105 III UEKKX CHE II 5 166 I'XKI (II k ARS 0 3 (Kill MCVTEKR UK. SINCLAIR CHE 0 -3 167 HEI III k ARS 0 0 ARS I 12 (MM SEAMAN ARS 0 13 061 B.IORM HXI 107 LEE CHE 0 4 168 XIEIkX 062 K.ION IS 169 DRXPI K The complete tables are displayed in your nearest student IKi: HXklkXXI ARS 0 0 108 DAISH COV 0 10 VST 003 BOSS KM ANT 0 II 063 IKVVIN 109 SHAW COV 3 13 170 Cl RCK AST union so that you can monitor your team's progress. 004 OX MS XSI II 10 IXJ (, SEVILLE 110 STIMAC DER -5 -7 171 TOWNSEND xsr 005 EI.OWKRS BLA 0 18 IH,5 I' SEVILLE 111 I XI K.SI-N DER -5 -7 172 TAYLOR AST OUt. CIV IS BLA 0 3 <«,<. COX 112 IINSWORTH EXE -I 2 173 EARRE1.I.Y AST Place Pts Place Pts Place Pts 007 Ml XklSI CHE 0 0 067 KLKMIS(, 113 WATSON EXE -I I 174 DONIS BLA 008 HITCHCOCK CHE 0 -3 068 BRANCO 114 SHORT EVE -I 7 175 BOHINEN BLA 50 185 350 140 650 113 oo<) (XiRi/oxic COV 3 12 069 WATSON 115 PALMER LEE -I -9 176 WILCOX BLA 010 I II VS COY 0 0 070 ELLIOTT 116 WETHERAI.l. LEE 3 17 177 SHERXV(X)D BLA 100 172 400 135 700 108 on HOI i i DER -5 -4 071 BAR ION 117 JOBSON LEE 0 0 178 TOWNSEND BLA 012 SOITHALI. EVE -1 -5 118 RADEBE LEE 0 20 179 WARHURST Bl A 150 162 450 130 750 103 1113 (.I-KK \KI) EVE 0 6 119 PEMBERTON LEE 0 0 180 1)1 MATTEO CHE 0 10 200 156 500 126 800 96 014 MARTYN LEE 3 27 120 WALSH LEI 6 9 181 WISE CHE -I 4 015 BEENEY LEE 0 3 121 WAITS LEI 3 2 182 PEACOCK CHE 0 0 250 151 550 122 850 87 016 M I I I k LEI 6 3 122 PRIOR LEI 3 -4 183 MORRIS CHE 0 0 017 POOLK LEI 0 -1 123 WRICHT LIV -2 15 184 111 Rl 1 X CHE 0 -1 300 145 600 118 900 76 018 JAMES LIV -2 19 124 BABB I.IX 0 6 185 MCXI.1.ISTKR COV (I 3 019 WARNER LIV 0 0 125 MATTEO LIV -2 11 186 JESS COV 0 -4 950 50 020 SCHME1CHEI MAI -1 7 Abfab 126 SCALES I.IV 3 3 187 O'NEILL COV 0 0 021 VAN DERCOUW MAi: 0 0 Ravanelli 127 RUDDOCK LIV 0 14 188 RICHARDSON COV -I 0 230 ROBSON MID 0 0 272 JONES WIM 0 15 310 SOLSKJAER VIA I 0 29 022 MILLER MID 0 -3 IM PALLISTKR MAU 0 0 189 I'El.h'ER COV 0 -5 231 BEARDSLEY NEX\ -I 22 273 ARDI.EY WIM 0 5 311 S( HOLES MM 0 11 023 WALSH MID 0 -X is 'player of 129 MAY MAU -1 13 190 WILLIXX1S COV 0 -7 232 (.INOLA NEW -I II 312 COl I MAU 0 11 1124 SKMCEK NEW 0 10 the week' 130 JOHNSEN MAI 0 II 191 ASANOVIC DER -5 8 233 LEE NEW 0 24 Strikers 313 RAVANELLI MID 13 23 025 HISI.OP NEW -3 -1 131 PEARSON MID 0 -3 192 SIMPSON DER -2 -I 2.14 (.II.LKSPIE NEW 2 II 314 BARMBY MID 1 16 026 CROSSITX NOF -3 2 132 VICKERS Mil) 0-17 193 VAN DER LAAN DER -5 -4 235 (LARK NEW -I 7 315 EJORI01 I VIII) 0 2 072 BERESFORD 133 WHYTE MID 0 9 194 POWELL DER -5 -9 274 X\RK;HT AR.S 0 33 NEXX 0 51 027 FETTIS NOE 0 0 236 BATTY NEW -I 5 ARS 5 24 316 SHEARER 073 PEARCE 134 WHKI.XN MID 0 -2 195 DXILI.Y DER -5 -8 275 BERI;KAMP 317 EERD1NAND Nl \X II 32 028 PRKSSMAN S\X\ 3 15 237 WOAN NOE 0 -7 276 HARTSON ARS 0 3 074 I.V1TI K 135 ALBERT NEW -3 12 196 ROWETT DER -5-12 318 ASI'KII I X NEW 3 10 029 BKANAVI SOT 0 -4 238 STONE NOK 0 277 YORKE AST 0 31 030 CO I (IS SUN 0 -I 075 HAVI XNll 136 HOWEY NEW 0 0 197 KANCHE1.SKIS EVE 0 13 239 GEMMII I NOE -4 -8 319 K1TSON NEW 0 5 076 NOLAN 137 PEACOCK NEW -3 9 I9X SPEED EVE 2 21 278 MII.OSIXK AST 0 16 031 WALKER TOT 3 4 240 BART-WILLIAMS NOE 0 3 279 JOHNSON AST 0 3 320 ROY NOK 0 5 077 ATHERTON 138 ( (K)PER NOE 4 2 199 EBBREI.I I XI II -2 NOF 0 321 CAMPBELL NOE 0 4 032 MIKI.OSKO WHA 0 3 241 PHILLIPS 280 JOACHIM 078 NICOI. 139 CHETTLE NOE -3 2 200 PARKINSON EVE 0 1 AST 0 0 322 SAUNDEKS NOF 0 6 II33 SI I I IX XN WIM 0 4 242 BLINKER SXX X 5 1 BLA 0 17 079 IMIIIII 140 JERKAN NOI -4 -3 201 I IMPAR EVE 0 0 281 (;AI.LACHER 323 LEE NOF 0 -1 034 HEALO HIM 0 II 243 PEMBRIIM;E SWY 2 16 282 SI TTON 080 BENALI 141 STI KXNOXIC SXX Y 0 7 202 SAM WAYS EVE 0 0 244 SHI Rill \N BLA 023 324 HUMPHRKXS SXXX II 4 SWY 0 0 283 I I NION 081 Kl BK Kl 142 XXXI KIR SWY 3 19 203 SH VRPE LEE 0 10 BLA 0 -I 325 B(X)TH SXXV 2 18 245 HYDE SWY 0 4 284 X 1X1.1.1 CHE 0 II Wing-backs 082 SCOT I 143 TRl Sill 1 I SWY 0 12 204 BOWYER LEE 0 4 246 OXKIS S\VY 2 5 326 HIRST SXXX I 15 083 XI SUN 144 NEXXSOMI- SXX 137 205 (,R\X I II II II 285 HKiHES CHE 0 18 SXX X 0 4 247 COLLINS SXXX 0 4 286 SI'I N( 1-R CHE 0 -1 327 \XHmlN(,HAM 035 DIXON ARS 3 23 0X4 XX II.SON 145 VIONKOl SOT 0 -9 206 I-ORD 111 II 2 248 LETISSII k 328 I1KICII1 SXX X 0 (I SOT -I 20 287 \\HEI.AN (OX II 4 036 XX IN II RBI KS XRS 3 16 085 I IIISI1I kl.ll 146 XI NISON SOT 0 0 207 COl 7.ENS LEE 0 -2 249 VIXI.II ION 329 SHII'PI RI.KX SOT -1 -8 288 1)1 HI.IN SOT 0 4 1137 SIX! NTOS VST I) 23 08d DICKS 147 NEII.SON SOT -I 2 208 PAKKEK LEI 0 I 250 HEXN1X COV 2 20 33(1 XX XI SON SOI II 2 SOI 0 -6 289 NDI.OVI COV 0 I 038 WRK.HI XSI II 23 087 BRK.VCKER 148 DRMH S SOT 0 -3 209 I//1 1 LEI -1 4 SOI 331 OSTENSTXD'I I 28 251 SLATER 3 -3 29(1 Sll kKIIK.I III k II 15 son 039 CHARLES AST 0 0 149 1.1 NDEKXAM SOI -I -8 210 I.ENNON LEI 0 6 332 Ol INN SI S 0 0 088 BOXXEN 252 OXKI IX SOT 0 8 291 (;\BBI\DINI DER 0 -1 IMII SKI.SON AST 0 21 089 THATCHER 150 Ml I XII I I SI N -3 3 211 TVY1.0R LEI 0 0 253 (,RVY SUN I -3 333 S'll-XXXR'l SI S II I 292 XXXkl) DER 0 16 (Ml I.KSM \ 111 X il 19 090 ( I NNIM.HAM 151 OKI! SI N -4 4 212 LAWRENCE III 0 -2 254 \(.Ni:X\ 334 kl SSI I I SI S 0 13 SUN 0 1 293 XXILI.EMS DER 0 3 042 KENN X 111 X I) 20 091 PEKKX 152 HXI.I. SI S -< 1 213 \l( \I\NVMAN I IX 3 18 335 Ml I X SI S 1 3 255 KXI' SI N -3 -f, 2'I4 I I Rl.l SON 043 ( KOET BLA 0 -I TOT 3 3 214 REDKNXPP I IX 1 III SI S II -'I EVE 3 12 336 SHERINCIIXM TOT 3 17 153 CVMPBEI.I. 256 BRACEWELL 295 Sll XK1 1X1 II 14 044 PETRI S( I CHE 0 -I 101 3 3 215 BARNES I.IV I 13 257 ANIIEKION 337 ARMSTRONG 101 II 7 I5J CVI.DERXXOOI) TOT 3 4 296 KIDKII I I XI II II IM? I I XKKI i III ii 7 Centre-backs 155 NETHERCOTT TOT 0 -1 216 TIIOM \S LIV II 8 338 XI I I N 101 II 2 258 I-OX TOT 0 -2 29? Ilk XV II 1X1 II 2 (I4Midfielders 227 MOORE MID 5 I 2d9 I XR1.E XXIM II II TtlrnTvm ki.ti I Ili.-n,- !)|:in 102 I I 1101 I I (HI II -2 10X I IOM-S I IX 0 II 057 Kl-1 IX III II 25 228 Ml SI 01 MID 5 -2 270 I I ONHXRIISEN XXIM II 13 l> - Xlalt k«,|« [ \ Xlf\ (,lllili:is (III II I 164 Ml ksos XKS 1 20 309 ( XSI OS \ "58 DOKK.O III. II I, 1113 (,11111 22') SIX VIP 2'l (.XXI I XXIVI -1 22 KM .IOIINSI N (III II -4 11,5 PI XII XKS I 7 All scores are correct for Premiership matches played to and including Monday March 10 35 28 LEEDS STUDENT Friday March 14. 1997

CHAMPIONS LEAGUE RAIDING THE &GANTR Y Commentator Alan Green is known as football's Victor Meldrew. ALEX GUBBAY went behind the scenes at Old Trafford with BBC Radio Five Live to find out why N not. they will choose the 44- I don't think about my style at all. relationship with Alex Ferguson. ORD year-old Irishman whose because it's just me. Certain!) as We've had a number of rows and voice is synonymous with I have got older, and arguably almost come to blow s a couple of ER BBC Five Live's supreme more arrogant. I tend to just turn times." The public would for it to up and react to events as they certainly pay to see that fight - football coverage. happen which is what I think it "I attract more attention to just imagine yourself flourish, should be about." commentating on that sport needs myself because I am very forthright". Green explains. "If it is a bad match, many confrontation. its characters "People often write and tell me commentators revert to slats. I "Alex doesn't like my honest I'm the Victor Meldrew of prefer to talk about Ulrika style". Green continues. V simply because Jonsson (who Green once spent such, we haven't spoken for four personality breeds football, because I'm always moaning. 1 suppose I'm just an entire game ogling at). or how or five years, but being the popularity. highly opinionated and let it bored 1 am. and try to analyse person I am. I couldn't give a why it is a bad game. If you're Similarly, those in the show." stuff what he thinks. 1 have Forthright and highly confident you'll always have trouble with anyone who is media who are just a little something to say, then why have sensitive to criticism. I've had different in the way they opinionated words which perfectly describe Green's brand crutches to fall back on'.'" my fair share of problems with analyse the action tend to of analysis and criticism. Kenny Dalglish too, but I can't hold off being critical if I think achieve greater notoriety, Speaking to the man personally, )R any analyst or critic, it 'is \ital that the reader, it's relevant. Otherwise I it is immediately apparent that perhaps even achieve viewer or listener believes wouldn't be doing my job celebrity status like such characteristics are not confined to his commentaries. them to be impartial. Terrace properly." banter among those few fans who Much of Green's wrath is Murray Walker or Alan "It's definitely not deliberate", he Hansen. dislike Alan Green's style insists often directed at referees, but he confirms. "It's just me. I'm no that he is an avid Manchester remains wholly unrepentant. "I Alan Green is one different on air to the obnoxious United fan cosily in cahoots with don't feel sorry for referees at all. such figure. Ask any person I am away from the manager Alex Ferguson. microphone." I don't set out to criticise them, sports fan to name Nothing could be further from but they are very important, and a radio So what does he think of his the truth. colleagues, especially those like their decisions affect livelihoods commentator, "I certainly don't support so why should thev absolved Jonathan Pearce who have and more United", he quickly retorts. "The from blame if they are at fault. perhaps deliberately developed a rumour that I do is complete and likely particular style? They chose to be referees - if WELSH WIZARD: utter garbage. As I tend to watch than "Well. Jonathan is an they don't like the heat in the Ryan Giggs turned on the big games involving teams acquired taste. He has a big kitchen, then get out. I was once the magic to inspire audience and has obviously who are doing well. I will often told that I was the referee's United decided that style of commentary praise them and that can be nightmare. and that Sky is the right way for him. A lot of misconstrued as support. commentator Martin Tyler was people think about their stvle. "In fact. I'm almost hated by their friend. Well that suits me how they want to be perceived United fans because main have fine." and who they are trying to please. got to know of my lack of The increasing spotlight on

defence gives the Eric MANCHESTER UNITED 4-0 FC PORTO Cantona space to turn and Old Trafford, Wednesday March 5 blast home 8:15 HALF-TIME! Green 5:45 Alan Green arrives at having driven over from May scores from close and Co. politely the ground lakes up Newcastle much to the relief range following a good inquire whether engineers his commentary position of outside broadcast header from Gary Pallister would like to bring four producer Charlotte Nicholl coffees and some 6:30 Green previews the 7:54 Green takes over the sandwiches up to the gantiv game in the sports 7.'05 Green complains to commentary, and bulletin predicting a tough the engineers that his straight away spots Porto 8:30 Second-half kicks oil, night ahead for United with headphone and microphones substitute Jardel warming with Ingham once the news that Keane is out are very low, especially as it up. again at the mike (no pun but that Cole and Solskjaer is 'going to get very noisy' intended!) both play 7:59 ALAN GREEN 7:30 The match kicks off PRAISES THE 8:48 UNITED 3-0! 6:45 Presenter Trevor with commentary REFEREE! Cantona releases CHAMPIONS Brooking and from Mike Ingham Andy Cole who slips a LEAGUE summariser Mark 8:05 UNITED 2-0! A loveiv reverse pass through Lawrenson finally arrive 7:53 UNITED 1-0! David mistake in the Porto to man-of-the-match Ryan 36 LfiEDS STUDENT Friday March 14,1997 29 NATIONAL FOOTBALL FIXTURES

Saturday March 15 FA Carling Premiership Aston Vilki v West Ham Blackburn v Wimbledon >n v Derby I.eice.ster v Middlesbrough MaiiUtd\ SheffWed Newcastle vSheff Wed Nottingham forest v Liverpool Southampton v Arsenal Tottenham v Leeds

the officials was highlighted by Chelsea as a cup side. Arsenal get on, the best British player I necessarily. For example, I think Radio 3! That was a very clever Nationwide League the vilification of Mike Reed have done much better than 1 have ever seen in the flesh is someone like Roy Keane is idea, and it was great once we Divsion One following the Chelsea-Leicester thought, even though their squad Kenny Dalglish. At the moment, magnificent as a player. But as got the pace right. You Crystal Palace v Norwich FA Cup tie. Many in the know is not big enough, and their there is a lot of good talent somebody for my son to model know....here come the flutes... oh Grimsby v Man City have suggested that television discipline is awful. In fact, once around that hasn't quite his life on, NO!! He's absolutely and there's some fantastic play Huddersfield v Portsmouth replays could be used as it is in Arsene Wenger buys some blossomed yet, like Steve obnoxious on the pitch, and from the violins! I love doing all Ipswich v Bolton other sports to eliminate the players, I can really see them McManaman. But he would still someone who I'd like to belt that diverse stuff, and I hope it Oldham v Wolverhampton possibility of human error. challenging next season." be my midfield fulcrum for around the face!" God, if only will continue." Port Vale v Charlton "I worry about overuse of Note the one leading side not England, ahead of Paul we could smuggle Green So what does the future hold Reading v Bradford television replays", Green mentioned in this bunch, namely Gascoigne." undercover into United's Cliff for Alan Green? Will he remain Sheffield Utd v Oxford concedes, "because it will this year's surprise package "I think Gazza's finished and training ground! on the radio or does he still have Southend v QPR truncate the game. But 1 don't Wimbledon. Deemed relegation- has been for five years", Green Away from football. Green further journalistic or Swindon v Stoke see any reason why we shouldn't fodder after losing their first states categorically. "He's also commentates on golf, and broadcasting ambition, perhaps Tranmere v Bamsley experiment. After all, how will three matches. Joe Kinnear's playing in a mediocre league In last summer covered the rowing on television'.' "My ideal job is we ever know if we don't give it Crazy Gang have certainly Scotland, so of course his lack of at the Olympics. "I was really running the Nine O'Clock new s. Nationwide league a try?" turned the tables impressing pace isn't be exposed and frightened beforehand because I and always has been, but being a Divison Two most football followers with he can dance around four realised I knew damn all about fixitball commentator is the ideal Blackpool v Preston N August, many experts their improved style job for so many people that it Brentford v Burnley predicted that this season's and cultured play. frightens me." Bury v Gillingham race for the Premiership Except that is for Alan If Wimbledon won the title, "I still enjoy my radio work I Chesterfield v Wycombe would be the most open for Green. very much - I couldn't do it if I Crewe v Luton years. But alter si\ months in "1 don't like didn't. I mean. I take pleasure it would be the most severe Millwall v Bournemouth which no team could establish a watching Wimbledon, from being cold, wet and Peterborough v Stockpon decisive lead at the top of the and I don't apologise miserable at games because I can indictment of the quality of Rotherham v Notts Co Premiership table, February saw for it", he affirms. take the piss out of it. It's also Shrewsbury v Plymouth Manchester United and "There's no question the Premiership' really nice when fans come up to Watford v Walsall Liverpool begin to break away me at games and have a natter that they've got a good Wrexham \ York from the other title hopefuls. bunch of players and 1 think players and plonk it in the the sport! But it worked out well about this or that. 1 hope it Was this particular pundit they've improved marginally, corner. When was the last time in the end. and describing Steve reflects the fact that I'm one of surprised by this.' but I don't see any great change he played well for England1.' Redgrave and Matthew Pinsent them, that I'm just a glorified Bully on "No. not at all. I know that's in their style. If Wimbledon won Certainly not Euro '96. He crossing the line was easily my Ian." the easy in say as we reach the the title, it would be the most scored one very good goal highlight of 1996 - 1 have such Outspoken and opinionated prospect middle of March but I've been se\ere indictment of the quality against Scotland and did damn respect for those two guy s." like most of us. Alan Green is of facing saying it all season", says Green. of the Premiership." all else." "In fact it's ama/ing the odd indeed a irue football fan at Oldham "I discounted Newcastle because So how about favourite Do Ga//a and co. make good things doing commentary has heart. It's just that as a 'glorified they can't defend. Villa have players.' "Well ironically role-models for their adoring led to. 1 once did a commentary fan', his opinions earn him a disappointed me and I still see enough, despite the fact we don't young fan base'.' "No. not on the William Tell overture lor living over the airwaves. 7 take pleasure from being cold, wet and miserable at games because I can take the piss out of it'

Giggs who beats Porto Dortmund, but while he really well exceeding his 9:55 Green and Ingham 'keeper Hilario at his tells the listeners, he expectations. finally record their HOMEWORK TIME: near post misses the name of the reports, with Ingham Green does some research before the French scorer. 9-J5 FINAL eventually getting Nationwide League big game &57 The studio tells Law rcnson cheekily WHISTLE! United through his at the Division Three Green there is a asks Green who scored, ha\e scored a famous seventh attempt! As Bamel v Swansea goal at the City Ground, and the studio have to victory, and Old Green immediately Carlisle \ Hereford but he confuses this for repeat the name Tral'forcl celebrates in dashes off to his car and Darlington \ Chester City Manchester City and so Lamouchy for Green's style. hack home.the show Exeter v Scunthorpe introduces reporter with benefit 9:25 closes with his retort Hartleptx)! \ Rochdale the cue 'some new s An impatient after the fourth. Hull v Brighton from Moss Side!' 9:07 UNITED 4-0! Green wants to record "It's 4-0' Would you Northampton v Lincoln There is silence, Andy C'ole sends his match report, but is believe it' I think we can Scarborough \ Tonp followed by laughter Old Trafford wild by- unable to do while the safely say Manchester Wigan v Cambridge before the mix-up is slotting home the fourth. producers concentrate I 'niicd are through to eventually resolved Alan Green proclaims on olher commentaries the semi-finals'" 'If I had a hat. 1 would and scores, and Sunday March 16 9:06 The studio tell eat it if Porto get five!' interviews with United FA Carling Premiership Green that chairman Martin Words and picture: Chelsea v Sunderland Edwards and jubilant Auxerre have pulled one 9:13 Green admits Alex Gubbay back against Borussia United had played manager Alex Ferguson. 30 LEEDS STUDENT Friday March 14, 1997 Handy Andy

QUO and those FRIENi)ofmine turn in front ot'lhe camera if thinks that G rands an films were to be remade. Prix are simply a Fellow hoxer Oliver McC'all in contest to see who can One f/cvr (her the ('iickiii>'.urn up petrol fastest, but even V.w. George Graham in A I'i.it/iil le would acknowledge that the nl Dulling, the entire Glasgow irst race of this year's saga w as Rangers organisation as The I ill of incident. i'niiitu-lht/'lt'^ and of course. A return to the w inners Erland Johnsen as The Man \\h<> goalden MKliuiii for McLaren was a Fell To Enrth (unaided I. u'lcomc sight, as was I )a\ id 'oiiltbard standing upon it in ONTINUINC; the cinematic irst place. Jean Alesi, suffering theme, Monday night rom an apparent breakdown Csaw the Anfield premiere n communications, ended up of Seven Again, following on oing the just-passed-the-test from last year's smash hit rick of running out of petrol Seven. nd Eddie Irvine again showed Liverpool dominated Act js penchant for the fairground One, but in Act Two Newcastle boots n demonstrating his dodgem- fought their way back in only to E is the leading goalscorer for the first riving skill. fall down in the last reel to an identical twist in the tail and team and scored a hat-trick in the semi- The most amazing thing was >. WATKR. EARTH A.\P1 le antics of Frenchman Alesi. concede a last minute goal - a final of the league cup, yet LUU's Andy ^•M^^H n an age when millions of successful sequel must retain H Myhill is not a household name in Leeds. HAT-TRICK HERO: Myhill looks forward to the final Pic: Zoe Feller (muds of technology and the best plot elements of the vsearch go into the whole first. This iISs the difference INTERVIEW progress of the first team, who and I don't get picked up hy •rand Prix thing, surely In a time where Chesterfield between university sport have reached the final of the central defenders, so / can /IM •enetton can afford to fork out could be introduced to Prince By Zoe Feller Northern League Cup. They arrive in the box." i>r a) a decent radio and b) a Philip before their last game of in the United States and were dumped out of this year's rule book for their drivers. the season, Wimbledon are, Britain. Anyone with a Centre of Lxccllencc for a BUSA competition early in the " YH1LL started '(aiming that he didn't see the gad/ooks, still in contention for similar record in the couple of years when I was season, but that was more down in the first year tor the M>ards may be Alesi's defence, the title in March and Man I t1 uddlcw eight champion, not members. "I imagine you'd get more improving in lower teams can the last few months, and now football they play make- Marvellous' any more since he The planned £5()m site is seen local people coming to watch if be pioblematic." play a 3-5-2 system, with university football the hesi emoved that part of his boxing as a step tonv ard for the club, the games were publicised "There was a coach here a Mvhill playing behind the two some of them will ever play ame by the very means by who do not own their current belter". Myhill concedes. few years ago. but we never centre-forwards. This is the even if they do not get tin hich he added it - deed poll - has home and suffer with its outdated "There's an awful lot of people quite got round to getting one system which gives him the recognition they would if they ecided to forsake the chance of facilities and pr parking who just enjoy a good game, this year. Last year there was a greatest freedom, and the played in either a professipna ashing in on his past glories by arrangements. As cricket tries to which makes university guy here who was actually a greatest opportunity to score so league or at an America! lakmg a comeback and try his drag itself up to date. Headmgley football ideal. It's not as hard as qualified coach. Sometimes we many goals. college. uck in the movies. is a monument to days of old league football, it's quite pure get people who've got a badge "My position is probably the That is why they will wir Having when things like media centres and good to watch." or something and they take easiesi to play. I play just in the cup alter Laslcr and go or reviously and comfortable seating Andy is one of main first sessions, btit there's not been front of the two central to more glory. worked in an tor fans didn't matter. team players with professional anyone like that this year." midfielders, so I don't get idllstry What is surprising experience. "1 was at Norwich's Yet this has not hindered the picked up by midfield players reoccupied is that some people vith selling connected vvilh I he ckets and club vehemently oppose the move. mall When asked win TAKEN TO TASC linority of •ie non too npleasant keen, (he most \ SIXOND-HAM sic»c on were unable to recover for a xxiplc popular beel the Manchester Metropolitan second time despite coining rofanel) the extra half crown I niversity jjoal came to no close through Nathan h. he needed fora season avail as TASC Men's 3rd XI Vincent. Paul Guvan and Paul ('onion and eventually ticket lor lhe tram to football team endured IH'SA ualitied loi Wakefield. lost the Plate final 2-1 heartache on Ui'dncsdax. Llsewhere, the badminton Having gone 1-0 down side. including Finnish In fact. earl) on. (he) fought buck liiei PW champion Circu Virtani'ii strongly with a 25-yard were narrow!) defeated and thunderbolt from (Jar) the ladies squash team lost \onld be O'Sullivan. lint tin- Leeds side, 4-1 to York. Aks Brayford uited captained by Danii) \\alsh. 38 LEEDS STUDENT Friday March 14, 1997 ^ ^ Try blitz puts Met through to second round of the Yorkshire Cup

No. 34: Argy Bargy By Chris Straw I-A'KR since that cheating git ROSE IN BLOOM Maradona put us out of the 1986 World Cup, tin- Argentina football team has never been high on England fans' Christmas Card lists. What happened on the opening day of Italia '90 then, was surely one ol ihe sweetest moments in the history of the tournament. AS HALLAM WILT The first game of any World Cup finals is something of an exhibition match, offering the holders a supposedly easy ride first Nick grabs four tries to sink sorry Sheffield up. such as Germany v Bolivia in IW4. The sacrificial lambs lor the WINGER Nick Rose stole the show at Beckett Argentinians four years earlier were the unknown quantity of Park on Wednesday as LMUSU powered Cameroon. their way through this Yorkshire Cup first- Their 1-0 defeat of the world champions is memorable for two round tie. ^^^__^__^_^_ magical moments. With only ten An exciting game MEN'S RUGBY UNION men, Cameroon scored eounesy of produced a veritable LMUSU 37-24 SHEFF H one of the worst pieces ot scoring feast, with the goalkeeping ever bv Argentina By Chris Straw 'keepe; Carlos Pompidou. This home side outscoring some good mis-moves. was followed by one of the worst their opponents by M\ However. the visitors challenges ever when Caniggia, lrics to four. responded with a try in the far stumbling slightly on his route lo The two teams had corner in the dyii g moments goal after two dodgy challenges. powerful back lines, hut of the half, and the match was clattered to the ground by LMUSU exhibited opened up again on 51 Cameroon defender Massing who originality and the ability minutes as Hallam took the was accordingly sent off. lead. Down to nine men, the Africans to improvise when it LMUSU's scrum-half held on to accomplish one of Ihe mattered. The result was Jackson. who was greatest shocks in World Cup better service to winders inspirational throng hou i. history. They were dancing in the Campbell and Rose, and encouraged the forwards to streets of Yaounde that night. the latter took full dig deep and within a minute advantage to go over on Campbell was sent clear to four occasions. give the home side the advantage once more. Frantic Running rugby was the order of ihe day because the The match began in frantic w-ind made kicking too much fashion, with both sides ot a loiters, and this seemed looking to gain the upper lo suit the home side more hand. Bui after half an hour. than Hallam. Rose's first two efforts had given LMUSU a ten-point Style BUSA NEWS lead and it looked like the RUNNING RUGBY: LMUSU begin another flowing move Pic: Shaun de Wet Steyn floodgates were about lo They extended their lead open. on the hour with prop too risks. fine style but Rose was all round." JUDO Skipper Nick Brown, Horwood scoring between the With six minutes left, a surprisingly modest about his He was also optimistic JEFF Hynds was beaten by the playing at No.8, was in top posts. Rose then added his knock-on in their own 22 set achievement: "Well three of about his team's chances in England number one in the form as he and the rest of the third try late in the game as Rose up for his fourth and he them were just drops over the the Yorkshire Cup. "The pace finals of the BUSA judo pack took charge. The hacks the visitors found that accepted the invitation line, and the other one was a in the hacks gives us a solid competition. were looking dangerous too, running the ball out of gratefully. good move. I'm pleased, foundation for the rest of the He reached the final of the handling well and working defence was proving to be far The win had been sealed in obviously - it vv as great work season." under-60 kilos competition, having come from behind to win all four of his qualifying matches by throwing his opponents for a knock-out ten points. LUU's other competitors were also successful, with both Tony Finalists still Devine and Stuart Rowcn Tears for Teeside winning bron/e medals in the \ match memorable under-7X kilos competition. Andy for its ferocious tackling, I'ndcrsvood fought very well to LUU's 2nd XIII reach the quarter-finals after a going in the tough draw, and James Beer was overcame Teeside at beaten in the semi-finals and VVeetwood last Sunday. unfortunate lo lose in the light for Despite playing first-team a bron/e medal opponents, the home side right direction BASKETBALL never realK looked in danger of losing this League DURHAM were edged effort from Doris Kranich to LUU's women basketball stars encounter. out in a nail-biting finish third in the Women's enjosed more .success at the Teeside were in the finish by LUU's race anil tie the overall BUSA finals last weekend. ascendancy during the early scores. I .eeds found themselves in a exchanges but the Leeds defence orienteering club in Only when the final tricky pool hut cruised through as managed lo hang on. and il was the BUSA Knockout positions were compared was lop seeds after healing strong the hosts who were first on the last Sunday. it declared thai Leeds hail opposition from Bradford, and board. On a foggy day in the won. since they had tour of Brighton. A combination of Hooker Si Lund charged the lop si\ positions. brilliant teamwork, determined PUT DOWN: Tackling was the key in Sunday's crunch match moorland above Patelev Notable performances home from 30 yards to give his Bridge in North defence. and well-worked side a crucial 4 - 0 half-time This score gave Leeds the after some excellent build-up were turned in by Roger offensive moves then saw off lead. impetus they needed to lake play from Ashlon. and the win Yorkshire, Leeds were 1 rihbit (1st) and Je/ Hdwards Cambridge in the semi-final. The visitors soon rectified the control of the match for the lirsi puts Leeds back at the top of the made to work extremely (3rd) for the men. and in the Unfortunately, Edinburgh deficit in the second hall with a time, and they soon went in front table. hard for their victory by a women's race Jaimie Doe proved too strong in (he final, but converted try and a penalty. again through a Irs from Portion A crunch match with Hull's Durham side who led finished second. Leeds should be proud of their Leeds regrouped and following which Griffin neatly convened. I si XII will decide the right tip until the dying The victory bodes well for achievements. finishing the good work from Scolt. Drake cut The game was put beyond destination of Ihe title. moments. the finals, which are to be season as English champions and inside from the wing lo level the Teeside's reach once James David Ashton In fact, it look a sterling held over Faster British runners-Lip. scores. Robinson scored in the corner Sarah Lock 39 minutes a pages 28-29 ^ forthright football commentator Alan Green

PLUS: HOT-SHOT LUU STRIKER ANDY MYHILL ON HIS GUP HEROICS - PAGE 30

LIFT OFF: LMUSU make winning start in Yorkshire Cup Full report - see page 31

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ONLV£5.00 LUU stars secure national shield MEN'S RUGBY UNION They adapted far better they were rewarded for and two conversions from Howland emphasised their Phone 01132455978 LUU 22-5 BRIGHTON to the awkward windy some relentless pressure and Get your card now! conditions in Newbury to with a Harbour try just after superiority and secured them By Alex Gubbay score three tries and run out the half-hour. the shield! comfortable winners. Playing into the wind in the SPONSORID BV DOMINANT in every second-half, Leeds continued Jubilant area of play, LUU Deserved to make all the running, with "We are all absolutely "'Ill, stormed to victory Hartley a key source of delighted", enthused a jubilant RCCES Red Howland set Leeds on possession at the line-out. Max Graham. "We were in and BUSA shield their way with a deserved Further tries from man-of- front from start to finish and glory on Wednesday. kick after 18 minutes, and the-match Church and Rosse fully deserved our victory." TOTAL FOOTBALL: END OF TERM RESULTS AND AWARDS - SEE PAGE 27