Issue No. 10

THE COUNTRY GIRL MEGAN MCKENNA JAMES COSMO NICK FERRARI GAME OF THRONES FLASH IN THE PAN JOHNNY ACTON ANGELA MERKEL A VERY ENGLISH MAN WHO’S THAT GIRL? IN JAPAN MITCH WINEHOUSE AMY WINEHOUSE

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Zenith_HQ • Visual: U29_DE1 • Magazine: Boisdale_ (UK) • Language: English • Issue: 24/08/2017 • Doc size: 420 x 297 mm • Calitho #: 08-17-124052 • AOS #: ZEN_13833 • TS 25/08/2017 Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10

EDITOR’S LETTER THE RETURN OF THE RAT PACK TO BOISDALE

ay I offer you a warm welcome to the 10th edition of Boisdale Life Magazine. It is jam packed with fun, erudition, and irreverence. The forthcoming culinary season is the gourmet highlight of the year yielding the best of indigenous game, the wildest mushrooms and of course divine winter truffles. Our entertainment plans for Christmas this year have exceeded anything we have done over the last 29 years, and whilst at Boisdale of Bishopsgate and Boisdale of Mayfair we will continue with an eclectic mix of wonderful live jazz & blues every night, at our other two premises in Belgravia and Canary Wharf, I think we really have surpassed ourselves. I like to think that the Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin might have really appreciated the “Vegas” inspired restaurant and live music venue we have created at Boisdale of Canary Wharf in which we will be honouring their immortal memory for the duration of this December. For one the sassy, glitzy, and relaxed room has class in ‘The Frank & Dean Vegas Show’, from December the 1st - 30th at Boisdale of Canary Wharf – book tickets at spades, and two it boast the greatest www.boisdale.co.uk whisky bar on earth. Frank’s motto was, “If you can’t do it with class, it isn’t worth doing,” and for both the times together. Frank often said that of traditional Cuban songs. After my first unstipulated code was that if you have all the women he’d known during this visit to Havana in 1998 I also began a class, you drink Jack or Scotch. Beer period Angie Dickenson was definitely love affair with Cuba which resulted was permitted for football and wine the best in bed. Dean Martin agreed. in 2001 with the legendary Tai Cuba, a for dinner, but neither were counted The Boisdale production of the Havana band founded in 1947, taking as drinking! Frank and Dean were the Frank & Dean Vegas Show is enchanting up a residency at Boisdale of Belgravia epitome of cool, often performing with and captures some of their magic. Iain for two months. It was an extraordinary a cigarette in one hand and a whiskey Mackenzie, described by Kevin Spacey success and resulted in the production cocktail in the other. But their 40 as “Seriously talented,” is a suave, of the outstanding album Tai Cuba Live -year friendship was no act. Frank’s super cool Chairman of the Board and at Boisdale 2001. For the entirety of confidant Tom Dreesen recalled, “Frank Steve Pert, “Not to be missed” Evening December 2017 Boisdale are very proud Sinatra respected Dean Martin more Standard, a perfect Deano positively to welcome Cuba back to Belgravia and than any man alive, for a lot of reasons. dripping with charm. Musically the show present The Cuban All Stars performing For one, he loved him. Two, he was is absolutely delightful, and supported their Tribute to the Buena Vista Social the brother Frank never had. Frank magnificently by the renowned Pete Club with songs like Dos Gardenias, longed to be a tough guy, Dean was a Long Orchestra, but overall what comes Amor De Loca Juventud and Chan tough guy; Dean didn’t take any crap beautifully across on stage is a semblance Chan. To accompany this wonderful from anybody.” In fact Dean Martin, of that glorious friendship. music Boisdale of Belgravia will also be born Dino Paul Crocetti, in his youth, Pre the Rat Pack era Frank’s home recreating an authentic Cuban cocktail as well as dabbling in bare knuckle from home, after a personal introduction list replicating the classic drinks of fighting, fought 36 professional boxing by Lucky Luciano in 1946, was Cuba. Frank’s Havana in the 1950s. Gower II, a Brogue Double Monk, made in England bouts of which he won 25! Frank and In Havana Frank drank a lot of Chivas using the finest quality full grain European Calf Dean’s miraculous chemistry made the Regal Whisky, ate flamingo breast and Rat Pack infectious and the bonding tortoise stew, and mixed with mobsters. BY APPOINTMENT TO HRH THE PRINCE OF WALES continued off stage with some of the The Cuban music Frank would have MANUFACTURER AND SUPPLIER OF FOOTWEAR CROCKETT & JONES LIMITED, NORTHAMPTON most hell raising partying the world has heard in the clubs and bars of Havana MADE IN ENGLAND | SINCE 1879 ever seen. Club rules were “Never rat at that time inspired Ry Cooder in on a Rat” and “Rules are for suckers”. 1997 to produce the multi-platinum Of course the world’s most glamourous award winning album Buena Vista LONDON BIRMINGHAM NEW YORK BRUSSELS PARIS and notorious women flocked to Vegas Social Club, a recording of legendary Ranald Macdonald JERMYN STREET BURLINGTON ARCADE, NEW ST 11 EAST 55TH STREET RUE DE NAMUR LA MADELEINE when they were performing and Frank Cuban musicians from the 40s and Editor-in-Chief Boisdale Life Magazine BURLINGTON ARCADE COLMORE ROW RIVE GAUCHE and Dean famously shared many great 50s performing pre-revolutionary Founder Boisdale Restaurants & Bars KNIGHTSBRIDGE LE MARAIS ROYAL EXCHANGE CANARY WHARF CROCKETTANDJONES.COM 7 Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10 CONTENTS

DISCOVER THE NEW AUTUMN WINTER COLLECTION The Country Girl Megan McKenna p.29 City of The Dead p.58 100% Silk: The Tie is Back! p.68

NO COMPROMISE A TIME FOR HEROES PEOPLE Stanley Johnson Timothy Barber 39 62

IT'S BEEN EMOTIONAL ANGELA MERKEL: HMY BRITTANIA – PIER PRESSURE? Arabel Windsor-Hoye WHO’S THAT GIRL? Michael Atkinson 17 Giles Macdonogh 65 45 LUNCH WITH 100% SILK: MITCH WINEHOUSE A RURAL RANT THE TIE IS BACK! Jonathan Wingate Francis Fulford Henry Jefferies 21 48 68

THE LORD COMMANDER OF THE NIGHT'S WATCH TOP OF THE CLASS IMAGE CONSCIOUS VISITS BOISDALE Roger Bootle Michael Karam Harry Owen & Ranald Macdonald 50 70 25 FAMILY INVESTMENT RANALD IN THE COUNTRY GIRL COMPANIES JAMAICA MEGAN MCKENNA Katharine Arthur Ranald Macdonald Arabel Windsor-Hoye 52 73 29 SMOKIN’ HOT! ECCLESIASTICAL DEEP THROAT LIFESTYLE Nick Hammond John McEntee 82 32 A VERY ENGLISH MAN IN JAPAN FOOD & DRINK COMMENT Johnny Acton 55 THE PLEASURE CORBYN CITY OF OF CALVADOS A FLASH IN THE PAN THE DEAD Douglas Harrison Nick Ferrari Paddy Renouf 78 34 58 THE WORLD ACCORDING THE MANY FACES OF BREXIT THE WORLD'S MOST TRAVELLED MAN? TO WILLIAM Bruce Anderson Nigel Tisdall William Sitwell 36 60 79

Editor & Chief Editor at Large Managing Editor Any facts stated or opinions Ranald Macdonald Paddy Renouf Michael Karam expressed anywhere in the magazine [email protected] [email protected] are the responsibility of the Super Sub-Editor individual writers and contributors. Managing Director Design Bruce Anderson All material omitted intentionally is the sole responsibility of the Harry Owen bevanhoward.co.uk Subscribe to Boisdale Life individual contributors. Boisdale [email protected] Life and the Editor are not responsible Digital Telephone: 0207 259 1261 vitaminlondon.com for any injury or loss relative to such Publishing Director material. All material is compiled by Barbara Widera Illustrations by Jesse Brown sources believed to be reliable, but BPA Audited circulation published without responsibility for [email protected] @jessebevanbrown of 161,152 errors or omissions.

9 utumn BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10 A 2017 EQUITIES | FIXED INCOME | PROPERTY | MULTI-ASSET | ALTERNATIVES | QUANTITATIVE CONTRIBUTORS STANLEY JOHNSON FRANCIS FULFORD JOHNNY ACTON We’re happy to be hands on.

Aberdeen Equities – In search of the world’s best companies. We love getting to grips with how different Stanley Johnson is a British politician Francis Fulford is Lord of the Manor of Johnny Acton is an author and farmer companies operate. When we take a position and author, and an expert on Great Fulford an estate that was granted as well as the 5th Baron Acton, a title he environmental and population issues. to his ancestor William de Fulford by inherited from his late father in October in a company, we invest time and expertise, He was a Conservative MEP for Wight Richard I at the end of the 12th Century 2010. His books include Preserved working with management to ensure it aspires and Hampshire East from 1979 to as a reward for military service on the with Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall to best practice in every aspect of its activities. 1984 and has worked at the World Third Crusade. He has done many jobs and The Man who Touched the Sky, Bank and the European Commission. but his most recent ventures include a history of balloons. In this issue of Because getting a feel for exactly how a company Stanley talks about his new political fly on the wall documentaries such Boisdale Life, he recounts a recent is put together helps us see which ones are novel Kompromat, a book inspired “The F***ing Fulfords”. In his latest trip to Tokyo, where he exposes the best built to perform. by his belief that the Russians could ‘Rural Rant’ for Boisdale Life, Francis idiosyncratic underbelly of Japanese have been behind Brexit, in the same takes aim at city incomers to country society. He concluded that Oriental The value of investments, and the income from way they could have been behind life. p.48 politeness is “very reassuring to an Trump. p.39 Englishman”. p.55 them can go down as well as up and investors may get back less than the amount invested. PADDY RENOUF TIMOTHY BARBER WILLIAM SITWELL To find out more about Aberdeen Equities please visit aberdeen-asset.com/equities

Paddy Renouf is Boisdale Life’s Timothy Barber writes about people, William Sitwell is a food writer, Editor-at-Large and noted flâneur – culture, luxury living and fine watches editor, broadcaster and critic. He indeed a portrait of Paddy by Nicky for magazines and newspapers. He’s is currently a Masterchef judge, as Philipps, entitled ‘Le Flâneur’ hangs written for the Financial Times, 1843 well as being the editor of Waitrose in The National Portrait Gallery. His (The Economist), The Daily Telegraph, Food and has written for The Daily commissions for the magazine take for which he is the Watch editor, Mail, The Daily Telegraph and The him everywhere, but perhaps nowhere Wired, Men’s Health, and City AM. Guardian. William is a frequent guest so bizarre as his latest dispatch from Timothy is editor-at-large and culture on TV and radio, including “Britain’s the catacombs of Paris. Soon after his pundit for the premium lifestyle Best Dish” and “Michelin Stars: adventure, thieves used the tunnels magazine, The Jackal. A contributor The Madness of Perfection”. In this to dig into a wine cellar and steal to the upmarket watch magazine, QP, issue he takes a satirical look at the nearly £250,00 worth of wines. “Sadly in this issue he reviews the current potential impact of Brexit on British this will make the illegal visits more crop of military watches inspired by eating and drinking habits. p.79 difficult,” Paddy laments. p.58 vintage classics. p.62

Issued by Aberdeen Asset Managers Limited which is authorised and regulated by the Financial Conduct Authority in the UK. aberdeen-asset.com 10 Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10 Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10

DIARY DIARY JAMAICAN GARDEN TERRACE LAUNCH PARTY FREDDIE MCGREGOR & LUCIANO

On 3rd July, Jamaica arrived in Canary Wharf, the new ‘home of all right’! Boisdale launched the Jamaican Garden Terrace in collaboration with This August saw two legendary reggae artists perform at Boisdale of Canary Wharf. First we welcomed headline sponsor, The Jamaica Tourist Board. The event was supported by JAMPRO, Grace Foods, Red Strip and Appleton Estate. His Excellency Grammy nominee Freddie McGregor, who sang a compilation of his greatest hits including ‘Big Seth George Ramocan, Jamaican High Commissioner to the United Kingdom, cut the ribbon dressed in Jamaican national tartan for the special Ship’ and ‘Just Don't Want to Be Lonely’ (a top ten hit in the UK). He was followed by second- celebration. His Excellency was joined by a selection of special guests who gathered to celebrate all things Jamaican, including Sol Campbell, Miss generation roots, reggae artist and devout Rastafarian, Luciano ‘Jah Messenger’ – both performed Jamaica, Tessa Sanderson and Gogglebox’s Sandra Martin! to packed houses, continuing the Boisdale relationship with Jamaica.

Urbanologie founder, Hugo Campbell Davys

Miss Jamaica, Danicka Hall Reid, Victor V from Saxon Sound, Yolanda Brown High Commissioner Seth George Ramocan, alongside Elizabeth Fox, Jamaica Tourist Board’s Regional Director for UK and Europe

Freddie McGregor performing in Boisdale of Canary Wharf

Jazz, soul and reggae saxophonist, Yolanda Brown opened the terrace with the Jamaican Freddie McGregor receiving his Lifetime Joanne Cherry, Maurice Cherry and Rachael national anthem Achievement Award from Lloyd ‘Musclehead’ Sligo-Young Francis of Saxon Sound System

Ranald Macdonald and Tom Faulkner Junior Giscombe, Christine Giscombe and Nathaniel Peat

Googlebox’s Sandra Martin and Boisdale Life MD Harry Owen Danicka Hall Reid, Tessa Sanderson, His Excellency Seth George Ramocan, Janelle Raeburn and Densign White Former England footballer, Sol Campbell Carole McWhinney, Luciano and Janelle Raeburn

12 13 Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10 Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10

DIARY DIARY UK YOUTH GALA THE MINI MASTERS IN ASSOCIATION WITH ASPALL

On June 14th Boisdale hosted the UK Youth Gala, for the sixth year running, alongside UK Youth President Nigel Mansell MBE and headline On July 21st Boisdale Life was invited to the annual Mini Masters Golf Tournament. Described as the ‘biggest party in golf’, the event was held sponsor UPS. Guests were treated to live music by young performers from UK Youth’s ‘Big Music Project’ and the event ended with an auction at Dukes Meadow in Chiswick, hosted by Dougray Scott and in association with Boisdale’s cyder of choice, Aspall. Guests included Thom Evans, hosted by Tom Best. A staggering £130,000 was raised for the charity to help young people build a brighter future and empowering them to take Denise Van Outen, Ian Wright, Richard Bacon and James Nesbitt, who all took advantage of the Maggie’s Club pop-up bar and copious amounts control of their own lives www.ukyouth.org of Aspall’s on tap. This unique charity event was in aid of Leuka, supporting life-saving research into the causes and treatment of leukemia.

Anna Smee, CEO of UK Youth and Jennifer Herkt, HR Director at UPS

Simon Farnaby on the first tee complete with our favourite, Aspall cyder Hosts James Nesbitt and Dougray Scott

UK Youth President Nigel Mansell MBE with Nigel Mansell with the mischievous host of the Singer, Lily Kyle who has been supported through Ranald Macdonald showcasing an auction prize evening, Fusion UK Youth’s ‘Big Music Project’ signed by the man himself

THE FOREST VOICES OF FREEDOM DINNER

On June 27th at Boisdale of Canary Wharf, the annual Freedom dinner hosted by the inimitable Simon Clark of Forest took place, with The Spectator associate editor Rod Liddle as guest speaker. Over 200 guests attended including the celebrated libertarian and contributor to Boisdale Life Claire Fox, Waitrose magazine Editor William Sitwell and City AM Editor Christian May. Winners included Forest EU director Guillaume Perigois, lifestyle blogger Martin Cullip and Elise Rasmussen, global events director of the Global Tobacco and Nicotine Forum. Forest aims to provide a voice for those who oppose government intrusion on lifestyle freedoms, such as eating, drinking and smoking www.forestonline.org Thom Evans taking a break from the golf Dom Joly, with the 7 Dials PR team relaxing at the May Fair Hotel pop-up

Michael Squire, Guy Duckworth, Tom Mann and Jamie Theakston representing Captain of the winning team, Greg Rusedski Guests Hattie Turner, Ryan Witchell and Amy Swash Emily Lopes and William Sitwell Guest speaker Rod Liddle and Sooty! Squire Partners

14 15 Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10

PEOPLE IT’S BEEN EMOTIONAL! Star of the massive cult 1998 film, “Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels”, Nick Moran joins Arabel Windsor-Hoye for lunch at Boisdale of Mayfair to talk about the joys of directing and the perils of ‘Nollywood’

WORDS BY ARABEL WINDSOR-HOYE

The Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels cast, (L-R) Nick Moran ‘Eddy’, Jason Statham ‘Bacon’, Dexter Fletcher ‘Soap’ and Jason Flemyng ‘Tom’

thought it best to get the classic older I get, the more relentlessly proud came from Stephen Marks, who was line, " It's been emotional" out of of it I am. There are fewer and fewer actually Matt's godfather and owned the way, because the temptation to films that meet the grade now. When we French Connection. Then there was end this article with those three words, made that film in '97, were there films Peter Morton who owned the Hard was at some points overwhelming. Nick from two decades earlier that I was still Rock Cafe franchise.” Moran was of course Eddie the card talking about? The Long Good Friday, Matthew clearly had a gift for ‘getting shark who gets in a bit of ‘bovver’, in the Get Carter and Star Wars – those have things done’, he went on to produce ground-breaking film Lock, Stock and stood the test of time and I have a sneaky Layer Cake, Kick Ass and X Men. “Yes, I Two Smoking Barrels. He is remarkably suspicion 'Lock Stock' will too”. think Matt just does whatever he wants OK about discussing it, given it must This summer we have Matthew and gets away with it because he's this inevitably rear its head at every interview Vaughn’s much anticipated Kingsman bizarre genius. Here was a film made for he’s conducted over the last 20 years. sequel, sure to be a commercial success £700,000 with nobody in it, absolutely Twenty years! We can all remember and in some way built on those heady nobody, I mean, embarrassing and he those comical action sequences; the days of “Lock Stock”. I asked Moran raised the money himself. He produced ‘mockney’ vernacular, Hatchet Harry, what he made of Matthew at the time. it and sold it to the right people. He was Every Leica M is an exceptional camera. Created for exceptional people. Big Chris, Barry the Baptist. “Lock, “He was the brains behind the film all over every deal.” Every Leica M is an exceptional camera. Created for exceptional people. People who see the bigger picture, take a second look, tenaciously ques- Stock, the whole fuckin’ lot”. really. It was supposed to be made Moran is proud of his fellow Lock Stock People who see the bigger picture, take a second look, tenaciously ques- Everyone’s a bit older when we meet by Handmade Films, who produced cast and crew, especially Jason Statham tion face values and recognise the unusual aspects of everyday objects tion face values and recognise the unusual aspects of everyday objects at Boisdale of Mayfair on a roasting hot Long Good Friday and Withnail and I, who has forged a hugely successful and situations. People who fi nd inspiration in seeing the world in their and situations. People who fi nd inspiration in seeing the world in their day in June. The sun is shining and with but they hit some financial problems. career in Hollywood. During the filming own special way – and need a particularly special camera: the Leica M. own special way – and need a particularly special camera: the Leica M. Boisdale Sauvignon Blanc in hand, I Matthew just piped up saying, 'I've got Statham lived with Moran in a disused begin by getting LSATSB completely some money' and basically he tapped pub and Vaughn asked classically trained LEICA. DAS WESENTLICHE. LEICA. DAS WESENTLICHE. out of the way, because Moran frankly up a load of his godparents and his Moran to, “make sure that he's getting must be bored of it by now. Is he? mum's friends! Trudie Styler came in into the film, help him with his acting.” “You can't get bored with that! The with a chunk, the majority of the money The pair went on to become great mates uk.leica-camera.com uk.leica-camera.com WE WANT TO HEAR YOUR OPINIONS AND COMMENTS – EMAIL THE EDITOR [email protected]

Leica M Ad 287x223 120117v1.indd 1 12/01/2017 19:53 Leica M Ad 287x223 120117v1.indd 1 12/01/2017 19:53 Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10 Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10

and for a while at least, tabloid fodder, anything to say about it. I have no social thank fuck for that. We've got someone filling Sky magazine’s diary pages media at all, I have no Facebook, I have that can fill some of these column inches. virtually every month. no twit, twat, whatever, fucking nothing. I realised towards the end of it, I'm just The ‘celebrity’ lifestyle had different It means that I've become a bit of a non- here because they needed something rules back then I wondered what Nick entity, which is wonderful. People have to write and soon enough there'll be made of that period? “Firstly, it was to actually talk to me. I don't have any someone else that will come along. Now brilliant fun! It was absurd and the desire for anyone to know what I get up it's as if fame has replaced religion, as if more I look back, it is like being one to and what I do.” fame will make your soul better, make of the Beatles – but only for six or nine Fair enough, but I remind him that back you a better person. And it doesn't. It months. You were invited to everything then he definitely was a celebrity of sorts makes you worse. Pubs still close. Shit and Prada or Armani are going to dress and in some respect courted the media? still stinks and people still hate you.” Moran did indeed leave the celebrity spotlight and has since gone on to do some great, often serious work, including directing Telstar: The Joe Meek Story in I have no Facebook. I have no twit, 2008, starring Kevin Spacey. Where did the initial spark to enter twat, fucking nothing. the film industry come from? “People like [Richard] Burton and [Peter] O'Toole, Alan Bates, Tom Courtenay, Richard Harris, Albert Finney, Michael Caine and Terence Stamp. They were the people you. The things that went on were just “I justified it and dealt with it, because – that literally, I would sneak into theatres hilarious. But it goes sour very quickly if I'm allowed to say this without blowing in the West End to watch. I wanted to be and people move on. I got accused of my own trumpet – I'd been really good a really good actor, to be like those guys.” over gilding the lily a bit. Accused of in a brilliant film and consequently Moran studied drama at sixth form being some sort of party ligger but I don't people wanted to know who I was. So it college and had been the lead in all care, I had some incredible adventures wasn't that I was a celebrity, celebrity is a the school plays, but he had no real and did some ridiculous things. Only facet. I think it was notoriety more than aspirations to be an actor because he ever because I was invited, I never gate anything. Thirteen newspapers coming didn't know anyone who was. “One of crashed anything.” out every day and they're all desperate for my teachers at the college, a Canadian Nick chose the young Scottish grouse, chargrilled sweetcorn, roasted garlic potato, dandelion game chips, crab apples and game jus www.boisdale.co.uk And social media? Perfectly on cue something. Then a silly chump like me woman called Anne Lomax said, 'have he pulls out a battered Nokia 3310. “I'm jumps up and is doing stupid stuff that you thought about applying to drama not a celebrity and I don't really have you can write about. They thought 'Oh, school?' I thought, 'What? You mean you can actually go somewhere, where you The Nigerian film industry was just end the year with a bang.' So I went out do this all day? No, shut up!' I then spent gaining prominence with hundreds of there with a documentary team of one three years reading plays, drinking and titles being made each week starring woman from the BBC, a cameraman and mucking about really. I was very lucky people that had never acted or directed me. No one in their right mind would after I left, going to Blood Brothers as an before, shot on VHS cameras and sold on have done that – the local boys they understudy. The lead fell off a ladder, so cassettes. came after us. I got robbed. I got shot at. I took over aged 21.” The sheer volume meant Nigeria It was spectacular! I made some great So is he a director or an actor? “I suddenly had the second biggest film friends for life and learnt the trade.” think you play whatever's in front of industry in the world and Moran Up next for Moran is Edinburgh you. I prefer directing to acting now somehow became embroiled in the Fringe where, by the time you read because it's tremendously rewarding, adventure. “The BBC, in their wisdom, this, he will have just finished directing but that's because it's so draining. As thought that it would be a great idea to Irvine Welsh’s, 'Performance'. Perhaps an actor you turn up; people make you try and get this younger, funky appeal. not a surprise Nick eventually found look nice; they give you breakfast, they give you a lovely frock to wear and some makeup. If you're half decent, you do a decent turn, then four or five weeks later there's a big round of The local boys they came after us. I got robbed. applause, everyone raises a plastic glass of champagne and that's a wrap. There's I got shot at. It was spectacular! a stop and a start when you're an actor. 10,000 man-hours and hundreds of other people are trying to make it to the point where it can be broadcast and appreciated. When you're the director, So they parachuted me into Lagos, to be his way behind the camera, he’s you're a part of those 10,000 hours.” the first white guy to write and direct a tremendously engaging company and In fact Moran had a fairly unusual Nollywood film. Lagos was one of the a great story-teller. I still can’t resist introduction to directing. Not long after most dangerous places in the world! ending this piece with a LSATSB quote. Lock Stock, Stuart Murphy the Head of People were getting kidnapped, fingers This time it’s from his actual character, Channels at the BBC, had struck on the and toes sent to the offices of Shell with Eddie the card shark; “The entire British idea of getting involved in the Nigerian notes saying, 'would you like to see your Empire was built on cups of tea, and if Nick Moran with a copy of Boisdale Life magazine in Boisdale of Mayfair www.boisdale.co.uk film industry or ‘Nollywood’; this was employee again?' I was about 32 and you think I'm going to war without one, around the time of the launch of BBC3. just thought, 'yeah, this will be fun, I'll mate, you're mistaken.”

18 WE WANT TO HEAR YOUR OPINIONS AND COMMENTS – EMAIL THE EDITOR [email protected] Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10

PEOPLE LUNCH WITH MITCH WINEHOUSE Six years after the untimely death of Amy Winehouse, her father Mitch talks about her life, her music and the charity his family have set up in her name, to help those beset by similar life-threatening personal issues

WORDS BY JONATHAN WINGATE

hen he was first thrust into the glare of the spotlight over a decade ago, Mitch Winehouse LUXURY TRAVEL. looked as if he positively relished the attention. Still, he was a down to earth, working class cabbie whose daughter REDEFINED. had won the hearts of millions of people all over the world, so nobody really TCS World Travel has hosted guests on adventures of a lifetime for over 25 years. begrudged him his 15 minutes of fame. Amy Winehouse was the finest female Our all-inclusive journeys deliver unparalleled and meaningful experiences— singer to emerge from these shores with exceptional quality and service—in unique destinations around the globe. since the sixties, yet as time went on, she gradually became as famous for her episodic personal life as she was for her Visit TCSWorldTravel.co.uk or contact us at +44 (0)20 7887 6048 remarkable voice and superb songwriting. or [email protected] to learn what we can do for your clients. Five years after the release of her multi- million selling second album, Back To Black, which had entered the American charts at No. 7, the highest-ever position for a British female artist, she tragically passed away at the age of 27, and her family were left to pick up the pieces. When Asif Kapadia’s documentary film, Amy came out in 2015, there seemed to be a palpable shift in the way a lot of people perceived Mitch, who is portrayed as greedy, self-serving and uncaring. Everyone, it seems, has an opinion on Mitch Winehouse, but is he more sinned against than sinning? Before we meet, I have already decided that we should avoid the thorny issue of the film (which went on to win an Oscar Mitch Winehouse met Jonathan Wingate for lunch in the ‘Old Restaurant’, Boisdale of Belgravia for Best Documentary feature) so that we www.boisdale.co.uk can focus solely on the life of his daughter and his work with the Amy Winehouse Foundation, which was established not which led to her tragic death in 2011. where I said ‘at that time.’ People were long after her death. Each proposal sounded trashy, so the going – Why is he saying she didn’t But literally two minutes after we have Winehouse family had always refused to need to go to rehab? They stitched us sat down for lunch in a private dining participate. When Kapadia’s name was up, no question. Their agenda was to room at the back of Boisdale Belgravia, mentioned, Mitch watched his award- make us look as bad as possible. the elephant in the room comes charging winning 2010 film, Senna (a biopic “They portray Amy as being weak into full view. Over the course of the next about the life of the Brazilian motor and easily manipulated. Even when couple of hours, Mitch keeps returning racing champion) and was immediately she was ill, she was never weak. Her to the subject of Kapadia’s film, however convinced that they had finally found the husband, Blake, had introduced her to hard I try to steer the conversation in right man for the job. heroin, so they made him the villain; a more positive direction. It’s as if he “At the time, we thought we were in they insinuated that her mother was also simply cannot help scratching away good hands, so we agreed to cooperate,” weak and that if I’d been a better father, at the scab of this painful wound, even he explains. “Once they realised that she would have been OK. I always knew though it still clearly upsets him. most of her close friends wouldn’t talk Blake was a wrong ‘un, but he was just an The family had already been to them, they decided to do something addict doing the things that addicts do. approached several times about the idea different. They interviewed me, and I’m He didn’t kill Amy. What happened was of making a documentary on Amy’s life, saying Amy didn’t need to go to rehab just a dreadful accident. The Foundation from her childhood through to her rise …at that time. Later on is a different made money out of the film, but I was so to fame and her descent into addiction, story. They edited out the crucial bit upset that I thought – Stick your money

Travel + Leisure® and World’s Best Awards are trademarks of Time Inc. Affluent Media Group and are used under License. Travel + Leisure® and Time Inc. Affluent Media Group are not affiliated with, and do not endorse products or services of, TCS World Travel. WE WANT TO HEAR YOUR OPINIONS AND COMMENTS – EMAIL THE EDITOR [email protected] Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10 Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10

up your arse. Then I realised that would find the money to put the correct she’d be singing Fly Me To The Moon. simply be taking money away from the cladding on these council estates, and Eventually, I said she could go if she was Foundation. No, we’ll have the money.” then all these people get burnt to death good for the next year at school. In the How does he answer the accusations in Grenfell Tower, so where on earth are interim period, she’d applied herself. I that he simply did not do enough to they going to find money to send people asked her how she got the audition, and shield Amy from the drug-fuelled to rehab?” she said: ‘Well, I wasn’t going to wait for lifestyle that she seemed to be drowning Looking back, does he believe that you, so I just sent the application form in in at the height of her troubles? “I did Amy would still be alive today had she myself.’ What was I going to do?” what any father would do and tried to had the sort of support the Foundation Mitch Winehouse is fully aware that protect my daughter from these drug provides? “I thought that if I shouted he would never have been given the dealers,” Mitch replies without missing loud enough, or I cried or pretended to opportunity to enjoy a late blossoming a beat. “There’s only so much you can have heart attacks – which I did – then career as a swing singer had his daughter not become a star, yet with two surprisingly accomplished albums under his belt, he has built a reputation as a class act. “My dad’s like the karaoke I’m not naïve, I know I wouldn’t Sinatra,” Amy gushed. “He could be a In Amy’s case, if she’d had the have had the opportunity to release lounge singer, he’s that good.” education that we impart to the “I was actually a professional singer albums if it wasn’t for Amy. when I was young, but I was so good kids, maybe things would have that I wasn’t earning any money at all,” turned out different. Mitch grins. “That’s why I became a taxi driver. I had record companies trying do, because addicts are devious. I stood this behaviour would stop. Of course, to sign me, but at that point, nobody outside her house in Camden, and she what I understand now is that the was interested in a 25-year-old crooner, still managed to get drugs. The dealers necessity to stop has got to come from and they wanted me to record more were catapulting drugs over the wall the person themselves. In Amy’s case, if contemporary material, which I wasn’t into the garden.” she’d had the education that we impart going to do. I’m not Frank Sinatra, but The Amy Winehouse Foundation funds to the kids, maybe things would have people enjoy it and it makes me feel good. a number of projects including addiction turned out different.” I’m not naïve, so I know I wouldn’t have education for schools, support for young After winning a scholarship to the had that opportunity to release albums addicts in rehab, children’s hospices, Sylvia Young Theatre School when she and to sing at these big shows if it wasn’t music courses for disadvantaged young was 12, she sang with the National Youth for Amy, but all the money I make from people and a recovery house for women Orchestra and performed her songs at music goes to the Foundation. who have beaten addiction. jazz clubs and family parties. One of her “We all miss Amy terribly, but her “The people we deal with are friends in the music business spotted legacy lives on. Tony Bennett puts her struggling with all different kinds something special in her and gave her up there with Dinah Washington, Ella of issues, but the outcomes of our free studio time so that she could cut Fitzgerald and Sarah Vaughan, which programmes are incredible. We recently some demos, which led to her signing a makes me feel incredibly proud. It’s had a young girl who’d tried to commit suicide six times. The last time, she jumped off a bridge and broke all the bones in her legs. She came to us, and for the first two weeks she never even We all miss Amy terribly, but her legacy lives spoke. Then she started picking up a on. Tony Bennett puts her up there with Dinah guitar and writing a few songs. She actually performed at our fundraising Washington, Ella Fitzgerald and Sarah Vaughan. gala last year. This is somebody who’d tried to kill herself several times and couldn’t even look people in the eye to talk to them. It’s astonishing, and deal with Island Records when she was just a shame that she’s not here to see it makes me think that we should be 18. The following year, she released her what people think of her now. Actually, doing more.” debut album, Frank, which won her I believe she is here spiritually. I’m a “We employ 20 people at the rapturous reviews and a Mercury Music great believer in life after death. I’m Foundation, 15 of whom are in Prize nomination, yet Mitch is the first not Joan of Arc, but I talk to her in my recovery,” he says proudly. “They’re to admit that he didn’t see his daughter’s head all the time. I can actually hear her the ones who go out and talk to the kids success coming. laughing now.” about the dangers of alcohol and drugs. “She was in a school production of Now, instead of being seen as addicts, Annie, and I remember turning to my This year’s Amy Winehouse they’re working, paying tax and doing wife and saying – Thank God she can Foundation Gala is taking place everything that upstanding members act and dance, ‘cos she can’t sing,” he at The Dorchester on 5th October, of the community are doing. The chuckles. “I thought she was terrible. The where you can expect a fabulous Government give something like £400m following year, she said she wanted to go evening of entertainment, special per year for drug rehabilitation, which is to Sylvia Young, but I said no, because guests and gourmet food. Email a drop in the ocean. It’s not a priority, she was naughty at school. She was [email protected] and it never has been. They can’t even supposed to be doing a maths lesson, and to purchase tickets or tables.

22 23 Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10

PEOPLE THE LORD COMMANDER OF THE NIGHT'S WATCH VISITS BOISDALE Experience the Soul AKA James Cosmo, the prolific Scottish actor known for his roles in Highlander, Braveheart, Trainspotting, Troy, Game of Our City of Thrones and Sons of Anarchy, enjoys Scottish tapas on the cigar terrace, at Boisdale of Belgravia

WORDS BY HARRY OWEN & RANALD MACDONALD

Dickie Brennan's Tableau Restaurant

James Cosmo on the terrace of Boisdale of Belgravia www.boisdale.co.uk

O: We should probably mention series you're alright, your character is JC: His name is Nathan Jones and Game of Thrones. I haven't actually still there. He's still head of the Night he's an Australian. I believe he works watched it. Watch, what a fucking guy he is!' So in American wrestling, he was 7ft tall. I JC: Fortunately I have. They took me that's all great and I go over the next year, went to the gym, wandering through to out for the Hollywood premier of season we're fishing away and he says, 'Hey see if anyone was there wanting to go three. It's not really my thing but I can James, I finished book two, you're still for a drink and he would be there with a understand why people get into it. It's all there with the crow and the little guy and barbell, with every weight he could find there. If you want sex, there's tons of it; the iron man, you're doing great'. Third in the gym, just playing with it. He was action, tons of it; political intrigue, tons season comes along, we go fishing and he enormous and a lovely, gentle guy all of it. It's just tick, tick, tick. says, 'James, I finished book three'. I said, muscle, not an ounce of fat on him. RM: And no character is sacred; you 'Well done Bo'. He said, 'Yeah… they're RM: Do you hold any strong political knew you were going to die presumably? drinking beer out of your skull'. opinions? New Orleans has been tantalizing visitors for centuries. Enjoy dishes like JC: It's funny; I go fly fishing in HO: What was it like doing Troy? JC: Yes I do, but they are varied and Washington State and Oregon. I've got JC: It was great I really loved it, great radical. I'm reading a terrific book by seafood gumbo, blackened redfish and bread pudding. Or, listen to live an old friend called Bo who's retired film. They filmed that in Shepperton, PJ O’Rourke, you know the American music every day of the week with many great musicians playing nightly and lives on the banks of the Columbia. Malta and Mexico. It was extraordinary, libertarian writer. It's called ‘On The I didn't realise Bo could read because I because I got to work with Peter O'Toole Wealth of Nations’. I’ve read the book so in local joints. In New Orleans, we don’t need a weekend to throw a party never saw a book in his house. Anyway, I who was a great drinking friend of my you don't have to! Just very succinctly told him I was doing one season of Game father's. he explains everything about Adam because our Mondays have just as much going on as our Saturdays. of Thrones and he said, 'Oh, Jeez, I'm HO: That moment where Brad Pitt is Smith and his philosophy, which I find going to buy the book, James'. He goes brought out against the giant and he runs, absolutely fascinating, on the button. off and we're fishing away before he said, jumps and thrusts a sword into him - an RM: And where do you stand on NEWORLEANSCVB.COM 'I finished the book, if they do another amazing moment. Sturgeon and Independence?

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Emma because he was with Gwyneth you get together and simply have a beer? is the longest apprenticeship in the but he was stunningly beautiful, his Paltrow at the time that she was playing JC: I was surprised by that because world, one day you will learn not to skin was like bronze alabaster and Emma. Brad came down to visit her in the he always seemed so fit. There's a very act'. That was the best advice that his eyes were the bluest eyes I'd ever West Country where we were filming. I good piece of work called In Praise of anyone could give me. Don't act, just seen. Cut to 30 years later and we're got introduced to him there and he's such Actors, I've got it framed in my house. be it, just be that character. filming Braveheart. I'm not required, a lovely young man. It was sad to hear It mentions that actors, to do their jobs RM: Have you ever been overawed so I went to my Winnebago in my that he and Angelina Jolie had broken up properly, have to be voracious in their by meeting someone or acting alongside costume having finished a charity event because he's such a level-headed guy. appetite of life because that's what someone? for a charity called Hole in the Wall HO: So, whose company have you they are portraying. They're sort of JC: Just once, I was about 25 and I got a Gang, for terminally ill children. They really enjoyed on set? gourmands of life, have it all, see it all, call, they were casting for the Mackintosh have a home just outside Dublin. At 2 JC: Mel Gibson was great. do it all and when an actor is successful Man and it was going to be directed by o'clock in the morning there’s a knock HO: Did you go for a drink with Mel? you can’t blame him for feeling so John Huston, the most extraordinary at the door. It's one of the AD’s who JC: I didn't, as he was completely wonderful and so fulfilled. Of course director, writer and actor. He was a said, "you're needed on set." I thought, off it then, we did play poker though. he wants to drink, he wants to quaff bit like Teddy Roosevelt, he loved the I'm not in this scene? Anyway, the AD He had just finished Maverick about a to the end. But on the other end, if an gambler. I got a call from his assistant actor isn't successful, can you blame and he said, 'Hey Jimmy, you know Mel him when he wants to drink because can't go out at night, would you like to he isn't successful? Acting is one of come and play poker?' I said, 'I don't the few professions where you need an Acting is the longest apprenticeship in the world, really play poker but I'll come along'. He audience. If you can play the piano and said, 'don't worry, it's £100, if you lose nobody likes you, you can still partake one day you will learn not to act. £100 you're out of the game' and it was in the passion... but if you're an actor, wonderful because I found out that Mel you need someone there; you need an was a worse poker player than I was. But audience of some kind. And if that is Jeor Mormont addressing the other black brothers following the Battle of the Fist of the First Men: “We need he looked fantastic, he had the waistcoat not available to you, what do you do? to get back to the Wall. It's a long march. We know what's out there. But we have to make it, we have to warn and everything, I think he'd stolen the There's a huge frustration and sadness bull fights, he was really a man's man said, "Can you just go over there" and them. Or before winter's done, everyone you've ever known will be dead.” waistcoat from the set of Maverick, so he when you can't fulfil something that is and hugely talented. I went up to some I walked over and Mel's there and he looked the business, but was really bad your passion. So, both sides of success swanky hotel and was sent up to his said, 'Hey, Jimmy'. I looked up and at poker. I remember leaving one night and failure can maybe be blamed. suite. I knocked at the door and this man there's Paul Newman. He said, 'Hi' JC: I don't think separation is a RM: At the moment I'm reading Of and there were about six of us and I won HO: Is that a conundrum? opened it with a wonderful wide, very and I didn't realise that the Hole in the particularly good idea. Mice and Men and The Grapes of Wrath the pot at the end and Mel said to me, JC: Yes and also, to be a good actor open mouth and he said 'Good afternoon Wall Gang was part of his charity. He RM: There are attractions. for the first time. 'Are you leaving with all my money?' you must be able to tap into emotions of young man, come in' and I walked in just said, 'Thank you for organising the JC: There certainly are and I JC: My favourite author, Steinbeck. I and I said, 'No, I'm just leaving with a all kinds very easily, you can't be a rock, and said, 'nice to meet you' and he said, whole thing', it was great. I said, 'We've think security and immigration are was having lunch with an American actor tiny little bit of it!' you've got to be a sponge and a mirror so 'James, I'd like you to meet a friend of met before' and he said, 'Really?' I said unaddressed problems which will have in Cabo San Lucas, Baja California and HO: Like you, he’s embraced a strong all those emotions are at play. mine, Paul Newman'. Paul Newman was 'It was with John Huston, when he did to be faced at some point. But we don't he said, 'Have you read Blood Meridian? beard… HO: Presumably you don't think about standing at the window! a film called The Mackintosh and I met have the politicians at the moment; we It's a Cormac McCarthy book'. I hadn't JC: Yes he has! It's been really this anymore because with experience, RM: Amazing. you at Claridge’s. I didn't get the part.' don't have people with the nerve. heard of it and the next day he slipped interesting to see his career develop. I'm you are now subconsciously ‘acting’? JC: He was the most beautiful man He said, 'Boy you were lucky – that was HO: Did you begin on stage? me this really well-thumbed paperback not a particularly religious person. I'm an JC: My dad always told me, 'Acting I'd ever seen. He wasn't a big man one terrible film!' JC: No, I hate the stage. I've only done like it was drugs or something. Big agnostic and believe more in science than one stage play. I started off in movies thick book, it's the best book I've read, anything. So I didn't really want to see that's where I felt comfortable, Battle of oh, my goodness. McCarthy wrote The the Passion of Christ, but he couldn't get Britain was my first movie, so you tend to gravitate to where you feel good. I was 18 then. I've spent my life in film, everything about it, it's just part of me, I feel more at home on a film set than I do Mel Gibson said to me, 'Are you leaving anywhere else. with all my money?' and I said, HO: I've met a lot of actors recently who are dying to get to the stage. 'No, I'm just leaving with a tiny little bit of it!' JC: Oh no. If we do go to the theatre my wife insists that I wear a tie because when I fall asleep my head goes back and she can pull me forwards. It Road that they made into a movie and it financed in America at all, by anyone, happens so quickly, the curtain comes No Country For Old Men and those are so he paid for it himself. up, they start talking and I feel sleepy. great books but Blood Meridian is his HO: He obviously felt very strongly I love the intimacy of film, you can masterwork, it's just an extraordinary about making it. see emotion in someone's eyes, it's so piece of writing. You read a sentence JC: Absolutely, he's a very committed subtle, it’s hardly there. that goes on for half a page and it's like a Roman Catholic and he made, I'm told, RM: It's just something rather lovely, Van Gogh flourish; it's just beautiful and something from that. Then obviously if you want to immerse yourself in descriptive, extraordinary. came his problems, falling off the wagon, another world. HO: What it's been like to work with saying things that upset a lot of people. JC: I can appreciate that some people Brad Pitt? HO: We mentioned Brad Pitt, who love the theatre, love the experience but JC: Brad is a remarkable guy, he's also seems prone to a drink, is it an for me it's a social occasion, each to their very, very intelligent, very interested actor's curse or are there just huge James Cosmo’s lunch included Cornish Sea Bass, courgette quinoa, kohlrabi, lemon gel and sea herbs www.boisdale.co.uk own. What sort of stuff do you read? in architecture. I met him on the set of moments of down-time on set, where

26 WE WANT TO HEAR YOUR OPINIONS AND COMMENTS – EMAIL THE EDITOR [email protected] Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10

PEOPLE THE COUNTRY GIRL MEGAN MCKENNA On the eve of the Boisdale Music Awards, Boisdale Life met up with breakthrough country music star Megan McKenna, who at the time of writing was No. 1 in the UK iTunes chart

WORDS BY ARABEL WINDSOR-HOYE

t's late afternoon in Boisdale of Canary Wharf and under normal circumstances, a quieter moment on the restaurant floor, but not today, the place is humming. Rehearsals are in full swing for the Boisdale annual Music Awards. The flamboyant Earl Jackson has just finished his sound check, Alexander Armstrong is striding towards the stage, as the glamorous Rebecca Ferguson swaps notes with Jools Holland and Imelda May in the wings. Plenty of potential interviewees for Boisdale Life magazine one might think, but it’s the diminutive ‘Boisdale Newcomer of the Year’, I have arranged to meet today. Her name is Megan McKenna and her newly released singles, ‘High Heeled Shoes’ and ‘Far Cry from Love’, sit respectively at number one and number two in the iTunes chart. Megan is truly a post-reality-TV star, epitomizing a cultural shift in the path taken to achieve commercial success, in todays’ entertainment industry. If you want proof that the rules have changed for millennials, take a quick look at her CV. In 2015, she appeared on the reality TV program ‘Ex on the Beach’, followed by ‘The Only Way is Essex’ and last year ‘Celebrity Big Brother’. Whereas once the doors of Celebrity Big Brother were opened wide to musicians who had previously held fame (think of all those 80’s popstars getting things off their chests in the Diary room), Megan McKenna is the first to have transitioned the other way. Frankly it’s unprecedented. Just let this sink in; Megan McKenna knocked global superstar Taylor Swift into third place in the charts! Megan is the first, but she won’t be the last. I asked Megan how she accomplished this feat and more importantly, was she surprised? “I didn’t believe it at first; I didn’t think it was real! I thought I had a good following from my fan base but didn’t expect to be that high in the chart. It’s such a nice feeling to know I have that support.” I’d argue Megan has quantifiable support in spades and Megan McKenna pictured in Nashville Tennessee for her new ITV show, ‘There’s Something About Megan’ here are the numbers to corroborate it; 300,000 Facebook followers, 618,000

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the next day – but in my life, I have to!” I not allowed to make a mistake? I try Megan recently appeared in an ITVBe not to read it and actually since I’ve been program, called ‘There’s something doing music, it’s all been very positive.” about Megan’. More specifically, she We end the interview on food and travelled to Nashville, Tennessee, to drink, it’s Boisdale after all. I ask Megan cut her teeth performing in the home of if we’ll see her on Celebrity Masterchef country music. I wondered why Megan anytime soon? “Well, I love home had chosen country music in the first cooked food, I make a really good Thai place and began a quick-fire Boisdale red curry, or a good Lamb shank in red Life ‘musical questions’ round. “My wine sauce.” So Megan’s in the kitchen mum loves country music and from a cooking a curry, who does she invite to young age I used to do auditions, where dinner that night? “Jonathan Cheban, afterwards people would tell me my because he’s a food critic and he’d put voice was very country.” What about all my food on his snapchat! My best

Megan McKenna's 2017 single, High Heeled Shoes followers on Twitter and a whopping, I’m not joking… people say I look like Elvis! 2million followers on Instagram. Indeed, Megan posts a picture on Instagram as we interview… cue 53,284 people clicking that heart emoji. That level of support does not Elvis, are you fan (NB. Regular readers mates Maddie and Amber would come, materialize overnight and many fans of of Boisdale Life will know we have a let’s invite Elvis why not, and Pia Mia, I Megan will recall her 2009 appearance penchant for Elvis). “I’m not joking… love her and she’s friends with Jonathan, on Britain’s Got Talent aged just sixteen. people say I look like Elvis! When I see so he’d have someone to talk to. Also I asked her to explain why the singing pictures of him I see a resemblance, Miley Cyrus, Liam Hemsworth and Pete career had an eight year hiatus? “I’ve maybe Elvis is in my genes.” Are there my boyfriend.” always been singing and I trained in categories of music you don’t like? “Hip- I admit I had to google some of musical theatre. I never actually wanted Hop and if I’m on a night out R&B, I find these dinner guests afterwards and to go down the reality route, that wasn’t it very hard to dance to it, it’s not really if I’m really honest, I had to google my plan. When I was 22 I got contacted my style.” What about Taylor Swift? Megan before we met! In the same on twitter by an MTV scouter, who “I’m an old Taylor Swift fan; I like her way Megan enjoys Taylor Swifts ‘old’ wanted new people for a reality TV old stuff, like ‘Teardrops on my Guitar’ work, I think I definitely prefer Megan’s show. I was in a bit of rough place with and ‘Our Song’, that’s proper country.” ‘new’ work. There was a great moment myself; I had a crappy job and had just Finally, who would you like to most at the Boisdale Music Awards when come out of a long term relationship. duet with? “Carrie Underwood, she’s Megan met fellow country music singer So I thought to myself, I’m just going to my idol, I love her sound, the way she Catherine McGrath, who indeed helped do it. I went to Mexico and filmed for is, I love to sing her songs.” Is it on the pen Megan’s single, ‘High Heeled a month and when I got back my life cards? “I wish!” Shoes’. The song was produced by had turned upside down.” So reality TV has been good to you? “Yes, from doing that I got Big Brother and TOWIE and it all picked up from there. Some people ask me if I regret going on reality TV. I When I google myself, definitely regret some of the things I’ve sometimes it’s not the nicest thing to see. said! When I google myself, sometimes it’s not the nicest thing to see. But everything happens for a reason and without reality TV I might still be in the estate agent job.” I wanted to return to the question of Nick Southwood, who had this to say Megan’s TV appearances have been celebrity. No doubt Megan is a savvy of Megan, “I think Megan is one of the predominantly in the genre of ‘scripted brand-builder; just to get your own most technically gifted singers I’ve reality’, namely the cast are briefed on show commissioned is no mean feat and worked with, she has a lovely tone, the impending scene by the production whatever you think of reality TV, Megan coupled with the ability to connect team, to ensure the plot, or the story's has used this as a platform to prompt emotionally with her songs and tell a outcome are not left entirely to chance. bona fide chart success, which should be story. She is an exciting talent.” After The entertaining parts of an otherwise applauded. I wondered if Megan liked watching her perform, I agree – Megan is real story are then highlighted, being famous, after all it’s the currency the real deal when it comes to singing – presumably without a script? “Yes, you she trades in? “Ninety percent, yes, but she produced the standout performance are not told what to say, but you might there is that small percentage, where if I of the night, amongst some excellent end up in a situation where you don’t do the tiniest thing wrong, I get abuse. I company. On that note, I’ll end with like somebody and in real life you’d not might say something in the wrong way one final observation of my time with be bumping into them and having coffee and my twitter explodes. Oh my god, am Megan… she’s utterly charming.

30 Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10

PEOPLE ECCLESIASTICAL DEEP THROAT Daily Mail diarist, raconteur and author John McEntee remembers an exorcism with Father Michael Seed, the "priest to the stars" famed for his string of well-connected friends and other inspirational stories

WORDS BY JOHN MCENTEE

r Michael Seed was a godsend, Tory diarist Alan Clark if he would be there is little sign of his fashionable manna from heaven. A friar of reunited with his beloved departed friends including Cherie Blair. the St Franciscan Order of the dogs in heaven, Michael nudged his We spoke recently on the telephone Atonement, the mere whiff of a cork had glasses back up his nose and replied in to arrange lunch. Poignantly he absent- Fr Michael singing for his supper, lunch, the negative: 'Dogs don't go to heaven'. mindedly returned my call seventeen refreshments at the French House and Subsequently a debate in the letter times. It was heart-breaking. A good afters at Jerry's Club in Dean Street. pages of The Spectator concluded that and loyal friend Derram Attfield has As Cardinal Basil Hume, the late while dogs didn't have souls, Heaven been organising his life, ensuring he Archbishop of Westminster's advisor was what you decided. If you wanted eats and doesn't turn up at the wrong on ecumenism Michael gleefully Rover and Spot at your side in paradise date for events. disclosed, over a friendly bottle or so be it. But Michael no longer lights up two, details of the visits of Mother London book launches, openings Theresa of Calcutta, Princess Diana and soirees with his quick laugh and and other notables to Basil's red whispered confidences. I miss him. brick home behind the cathedral. Memories crowd in - a pilgrimage to As a gossip columnist on Rome where Michael boasted about various newspapers I rejoiced in St Francis's leg being venerated encounters with dear Michael. He in a local church, Noel Botham's was the fashionable society cleric 69th birthday lunch in Paris when who converted the likes of Anne Michael missed the return Eurostar. Widdecombe and John Gummer. But mostly, an extraordinary Michael was diary gold. afternoon in the French House pub Smuggled into Downing Street in Dean Street, on the very day to celebrate secret masses for Tony of the monstrous attack on New and Cherie Blair; stories of Michael York's Twin Towers. failing to convert Alan Clark on his Fr Michael had been death bed; sending Pope Benedict commissioned by Noel's saintly XVI beer mats from Soho's French wife Leslie to conduct an exorcism House provided glorious icing on in the basement of the Soho pub. the gossip column cake. She believed that evil spirits had Fr Michael was a living breathing been unleashed by a flood, later ecclesiastical Deep Throat. rectified by Thames Water. And as chaplain of the Useless Michael descended the stairs on Information Society (of which I 9/11 to declare: remain a member) he was endlessly "From anger, hatred, and all ill will, indiscreet and great fun. from all lewdness, from lightning Once when the late, great and tempest, from the scourge Keith Waterhouse complained about The Rev. Father Michael Seed is a Latin Rite of earthquakes, from plague, famine, the absence of royalties from our co- Catholic priest, a Franciscan friar, author, and war, from everlasting death, by authored Useless Information handbook and former Ecumenical Advisor to the former the mystery of your holy incarnation, Archbishop of Westminster, Cardinal Basil Hume (9 editions) founder Noel Botham by your coming, by your birth, by your declared at a drink fuelled dinner baptism and holy fasting, by your cross upstairs in his pub, the French House, and passion, by your death and burial, that he would take us all to New York for Michael, appointed adviser on by your holy resurrection, by your lunch in lieu of payment. ecumenism by the late Basil Hume, wondrous ascension, by the coming of Keith pointed a rheumy finger at managed to survive successor Cardinal the Holy Spirit, the Advocate, on the Seed, declaring he wanted his share to Cormac - Murphy but was doomed on day of judgment, from all evil, deliver go to Michael's shelter for down and the elevation of Cardinal Nichols. His us, O Lord.' outs in Westminster. The cleric quickly Eminence didn't see the point of the It was truly moving and I was whispered in Botham's ear prompting tonsured monk with the face of an altar privileged to be one of four who Botham's retort: 'Fr Michael says if he boy and the thirst of a camel. witnessed his exorcism. He may have gets Keith's share of the royalties he Michael fetched up in Cardiff where over-indulged in the drinks department, will use it to come to New York with us his friend George Stack had been raised sucked up to the powers-that-be and for lunch!' to Archbishop. Now he is back in innocently betrayed Basil Hume's Waterhouse never attended another London, greatly diminished. Suffering confidences. But I truly believe that Fr UIS nosebag. from dementia and existing on a small Michael, diminished though he is, is a When he was asked by the dying stipend from the Westminster diocese, good and decent man.

32 Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10 Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10

COMMENT

as it was without doubt the impact of many cases it is past Labour policies for virtue-signaling ideas that belong in CORBYN – A FLASH IN THE PAN students that would prove to be the that have created or contributed to this the students unions' debating societies. biggest factor in the result as Labour so-called unfairness. So are we “all doomed” as Dad's TV and radio presenter Nick Ferrari argues that Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn’s recent elevation to political rock created and cultivated a narrative that That said, while never losing sight of Army's Private Frazer might have star has a limited shelf life and should not be taken too seriously. Nick hosts the weekday breakfast show on LBC struck home with a mass of young the fact that Labour lost its third straight intoned? Not yet. The Conservatives, from 7.00-10.00am and enjoys 1.2m daily listeners people, thousands of whom were so election in a row, for many on the right despite themselves, are likely to be motivated they decided to register for and the centre of politics it's been a torrid saved. True, Theresa May has been WORDS BY NICK FERRARI the first time. Indeed, of the 600,000 time. They have looked on as the youth anything but sure-footed since the names added to the electoral roll in the of the nation has risen up in semi-revolt. humiliating shambles that was the June final 24 hours before deadline, 453,000 Imagine The Beatles, the invention of election. She has succeeded in turning were classed as "young voters." the pill, the swinging sixties, free love, “just about managing” from a political Initially, it was easy to dismiss the ecstasy and grime being fused into one mantra to a lifestyle choice and is youthful outpouring for Corbyn and unstoppable movement, and that's how now reduced to asking other parties if a Labour party moulded into shape by they saw it. they have any useful ideas. It’s akin to asking the England cricket team to let the Australians pick the openers for the first test. What will save the Tories is that this Teresa May has succeeded in turning is likely to be the high-water mark for Labour. Many of those young people 'just about managing' from a political who got caught up in the emotion and mantra to a lifestyle choice. attraction of the Corbyn groundswell will feel a bitter sense of disappointment at the result. At first they'll be buoyed by baseless claims being perpetrated by the left that power is within touching the zealots of Momentum as political However, they needn't worry. There distance and yet as each week becomes naivety. The gag about the Labour are similarities between just how a month, that youthful enthusiasm campaign aimed at students with the many ill-informed commentators saw will dim. Youngsters are put on earth slogan: "Vote Labour... and we'll give you a divided Britain last year after the to be dreamers, when reality bites the a free laptop!" didn't seem so far from the European referendum. Many Tories excitement pales. Also, many of the pre- truth and Corbyn's extraordinary appeal and others see a Labour party leader, election promises seem to be unravelling to this group was never more amply who has had some highly questionable like a cheap suit with Labour's financial demonstrated than when the crowds political friendships and a shadow competence being openly challenged. chanted his name at Glastonbury, as if chancellor who appears to be in awe of Nor does the bulk of this youth vote he were topping the bill. (By the way, the Marxist policies, close to measuring up realise that Corbyn is a dedicated anti- entrance fees for that festival are around the curtains of Number 10. European Union MP. Many will have Taking to the stage at Glastonbury this year, were Jeremy Corbyn and Michael Eavis. Jeremy Corbyn revealed that his total income for 2015-16 was £114,342 and a minimum of £240, so it's a certain This is because they also see voted for him as they thought that he accounts for Glastonbury Festival Events Ltd show it made a pre-tax profit of £1.39m in the year ending 31 December 2015, on a turnover of £39.1m. type of a middle class, if not downright a Conservative administration in would seek to overturn last year's Brexit well-to-do youngster who is drawn anything but a healthy place. True vote, but few if any will have done enough to the Labour leader. It’s easy to be a blue Tory policies such as the re- research to learn that Corbyn has always t was one helluva shock, I can tell interview in which she struggled so which, during an election, the major socialist of course when your parents introduction of grammar schools have viewed the EU as some sort of capitalist you. Waking up on the morning woefully while doing her sums, at one parties must be offered an equal amount have money in the bank, second homes of the recent general election point suggesting that a newly recruited of time on air, or at least as is reasonably in the country or villas in Umbria). But and reading The Times, which had police officers would earn £10,000 a practical. As Labour heavyweights such somehow Corbyn is a magnet for the decided to list the potential winners year, before correcting herself and saying as Corbyn and John McDonnell had young and that's why they cheered him and losers over the previous weeks of he would take home just £10 per annum, viewed the chance of chatting with me that night in Somerset (even if they were It’s easy to be a socialist of course, when your endless tussling, over such key issues as very nearly didn't take place. in the same way most of us would react happy to leave it to Eastern Europeans strawberry picking to fox hunting, with The reason is quite simple. Doing a to the chance of going on a series of on the zero hours contracts this group so parents have money in the bank, second just about everything in between. breakfast show means you like to set up Alpine strolls with the Prime Minister, vividly loathes, to clean up the tons of homes in the country or villas in Umbria. But there, nestling behind Jeremy a few interviews and stories the night Ms. Abbott was handed the microphone. rubbish they left behind). Corbyn (and there's a thought!) in before but expecting everyone to be She's not here to defend herself, so I The left has undoubtedly had a good second place on the winners' list was standing by their phones at six in the won't go into any more detail other than time of it of late. They are quick to say “Nick Ferrari and his maths teacher.” morning hoping for the call that will to say at one stage you'd be excused for everything is wrong, yet offer solutions As so much, of such importance has mean they'll have the opportunity to thinking she was about to take off her that seem a tad threadbare. It's not fair been ditched while others that many conspiracy. Since 1987 he has voted in happened since the election campaign, speak with me, is clearly pushing it a bit. socks and shoes, so she could try and that university fees are still charged; it's Tories would welcome as much as Parliament against each and every one of the final of Love Island for example. You Even so, Ms. Abbott had let me down get her addition correct. Her dismal not fair that house prices have risen so sand in their swimming shorts, were its treaties; if they'd be bothered to check. can be excused if you're struggling to as many times as England has failed in performance dominated that day's news swiftly; it's not fair that some people introduced in their place. Did anyone All of which indicates that this year's recall the relevance, but the interview penalty shoot outs and I'd decided on agenda and one former colleague texted get a helping hand because they have vote for the idea of gender selection, general election is likely to be the last in which Diane Abbott showed all the a sort of unofficial ban. So, when the me to ask if I could give him the name of relatives who help them along (ignoring as put forward by increasingly loopy of its kind. The days politicians could arithmetical dexterity of a child at the producer said she was available the my maths teacher at school. the fact an entire cadre of Labour Education Secretary and Equalities make bold but un-costed promises are bottom of the C stream in kindergarten suggestion was met with the customary "Mate, I genuinely can't recall his who have jobs by courtesy of the high Minister Justine Greening? If, as is gone, as a more savvy electorate will class, was conducted by yours truly, on swift dismissal of an idea I don't rate: name. But he was bloody hopeless. I got powered intervention of family and mooted, this is an attempt to "de-toxify" from now on closely examine every idea my LBC morning radio show. "Utter bollocks...next?" a D at O level," I texted in reply. friends); and it's not fair that jobs seemed brand Conservative, particularly among put forward. For that alone, perhaps we Now don't, whatever you do, ever tell But what made it happen are the It's ironic that there was interest more plentiful years ago. All of this, of younger people, then all well and good, owe Ms. Abbott more than we might Diane when you next see her, but that fairly strict broadcasting laws that during this election in my student days, course, neatly misses the point that in but government policy is not the place have at first thought.

34 WE WANT TO HEAR YOUR OPINIONS AND COMMENTS – EMAIL THE EDITOR [email protected] Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10 Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10

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surgery. An organ was inserted into THE MANY FACES the British body politic, assisted on its way by immuno-suppressant drugs. The OF BREXIT assumption was that as the years passed, the drugs would no longer be necessary. Miserable, confused or angry, the British Brexit-face has an unsettling expression, reflecting Not so. The rejection process could not the fearful trauma of conflicting ideologically orthodoxies and no certainty about anything. be over-ridden. Bruce Anderson draws his conclusions on the entire fiasco. As for understanding, the EU is a trinity. It has an economic dimension, WORDS BY BRUCE ANDERSON a moral one and a psycho-therapeutic one. Most Brits would assume that economics would be most important, e Brits ought to apologise to for the worshippers. On two points, been guilty of sustained intellectual and that as the current arrangements the EU, for our relations with the federasts were so convinced as to apathy over the same decades. Never work to everyone's benefit, it should be Europe do not redound to be immune from contradiction. First, federalists, and perpetual grumblers easy to strike a deal. But that is based our credit. Any foreigner who wished to that a united Europe was absolutely in about EU intrusions, they were more on a false assumption: that the Euro- defend the proposition that the British Britain's interests. Second, that as the or less persuadable about the economic nomenklatura are vulgar Marxists. This are not an intellectual race could easily British people could never be brought to benefits of membership. But - assisted by is not so. As they have proved over do so by reference to the evasions and agree with this, they had to be deceived. the federasts' weaselly evasions - they the single currency, the European elite muddle which we have brought to bear Some attempts have been made to disregarded the mounting evidence that believe that politics should determine on European questions. expose the post-1945 Soviet penetration Europe was not just about economics: economics and not vice-versa. So the Throughout our membership, British of the Labour party and trade union that when the foreigners talked about UK cannot rely on economics. opinion has divided into four groups. movement. But not nearly enough effort political union, this did not mean that The moral aspect ought to be self- The first one is a fanatical minority has been devoted to another tightly-knit they had been dining with M Juncker. evident to anyone with the most basic who have been guilty of sustained body of subversives, who also wanted to They were sincere. The Europeans knowledge of modern European history. intellectual dishonesty over several subject the UK to rule by a foreign power: cannot be blamed for our failure to By 1945, everyone on the continent had “The sustained intellectual apathy of the great majority” decades. Federasts, committed to the Tory Euro-fanatics. It is fortunate recognise this. every reason to fear nationalism and the European Union, have behaved like that most of them have now been safely Third, there is another fanatical nation-state. It seemed that in order for the priests in the temple of some occult interned in the House of Lords. minority: the swivel-eyed anti-European civilisation to survive, they had to be it easier to explain ourselves - which the Germans and the Benelux countries oriental religion. Mysteries take place The second group is the great obsessives. They cannot be accused transcended. But most of us Brits thought we have a duty to do. Most Europeans took them at their word and proposed in the recesses, but there is no access majority of the British people, who have of deception or idleness. Honest in differently, because of the Channel, deserve an explanation. Their views on fiscal and political union? Were that their hatred of Europe, they have also which has protected us from so many post-nationalism are entitled to respect. to happen, France would no doubt mastered the theology to the extent that conflicts, so much destruction. Although they deserve a Pulitzer prize for tedium. twenty miles seems no distance (except Their problem is a refusal to make any on D-Day) it has created an unbridgeable allowance for complexity. At least gap in historical understanding: the until Mr Corbyn began to lie in wait, basis for Britain's current difficulties The EU is a trinity. It has an economic dimension, they wanted Brexit, the whole Brexit with Europe. a moral one and a psycho-therapeutic one. and nothing but the Brexit - whatever We do not understand them and many the consequences. Temperamentally, of them are bewildered by us. This cannot they have nothing in common with all be blamed on Boris Johnson. We are Boris Johnson; these are serious men. not doing enough to put our differences Even so, Boris has come out with the in context. Were we to overcome our That is less true when it comes to punch above her weight. Even so, she best summary of their position: have instinctive reluctance to accept that psycho-therapy, which is so important would ultimately be a large state in a cake, eat cake. The thought that they important political questions have an to the French and the Germans, and confederation. At present, in Douglas are unwitting Borisonians ought to give intellectual dimension, we might find which explains some of the complexities Hurd's felicitous phrase, the French them pause. in their relations with us. After 1945, can indulge in splendid ambiguity. But Fourth and finally, there is a group two patients met in a psychiatrist's ultimately, there is nothing ambiguous of chronic ineffectuals, which includes waiting room. They discovered that about sovereignty. You have it, or you this writer. Our problem is that we they had come to be treated for the don't. cannot make up our minds. We wish same problem: war guilt. The Germans In the short run, the French can use that we were as certain about anything were guilty about victories: the French, Europe as a means of pretending that as the federasts and the swivel-eyes are about defeats. They then began a they are still a superpower, and also about everything. Although we regard relationship. The new Europe was born as a means of forgetting some of their ourselves as intellectually superior on a psychiatrist's couch. recent history. This also explains their to the apathetic majority, this appears The Germans were easier to treat. Their sustained ambivalence towards Britain to have no practical benefit. I tried to repudiation of nationalism was genuine, in Europe. De Gaulle never forgave us summarise this position in an Irish-ism: as was their belief in union. Although for helping to liberate France and Michel that before taking a leap in the dark, I the French talk about political union, Barnier is a Gaullist. All this talk about wanted a bit more daylight. That is they really mean union on French terms: punishing Britain: some of them still hardly a rallying cry. Europe as a French jockey on a German want revenge for 6th June 1944. This all leads to two conclusions. horse. As a guide to what might actually So where does this leave us? What is One, we never joined Europe. Two, we happen if Europe were to unite, that is a strong phrase for total confusion? The never understood Europe, federasts “The fanatical minority, guilty of sustained a fantasy: only a French intellectual British electorate voted for a leap in the “The chronic ineffectuals who cannot make up their minds” and swivellers excepted. In the early intellectual dishonesty” could be naive enough to believe in it. dark. When do they – or anyone else – 1970s, the UK underwent transplant So what would the French actually do if expect to see daylight?

36 WE WANT TO HEAR YOUR OPINIONS AND COMMENTS – EMAIL THE EDITOR [email protected] Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10 Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10

COMMENT NO COMPROMISE Stanley Johnson explains the background to his new political novel and stresses how enjoyable the book becomes, once purchased!

WORDS BY STANLEY JOHNSON

themselves! But I’ll give one major hint. There is a lot more to British Prime Minister, Jeremy Hartley, who calls for – and manages to lose – the referendum than at first meets the eye. I was interviewed the day after publication by Adam Boulton on Sky News. I told him that I was convinced that the Russians could have been behind Brexit, in the same way they could have been behind Trump. They were kicking at an open goal. In the short term at least, the referendum vote has resulted in a major destabilization of Western Europe. We may not (yet) have set up a committee of enquiry into the conduct of the referendum in the way they have in the States, but these are early days. KOMPROMAT is my twenty-fifth book and my tenth novel. I’ve been writing thrillers, as well as non-fiction, Stanley Johnson has launched a new book, Kompromat – coming from Russian term for compromising for over fifty years and I much enjoy it. materials about a politician or other public figure – and described as “the most audacious geo-political coup Oddly enough, another of my thrillers, since Genghis Khan and his hordes swept across Asia into Europe” The Commissioner, also had a European theme. It was made into a film of that name with the late John Hurt in the t the beginning of the year, that printed copies had already to be title role. I remember being invited when I decided to write a novel available in June. Amazingly, I was on set one day. We were in the Mozart about “what really happened” even at that late stage able to include Café in the heart of Brussels where my in the run-up to the Referendum of June a final chapter about another seismic Commissioner was meeting a whistle- 2016, I imagined that the book might be shock: the General Election of June 8 blower (played by the brilliant German called “The Brexit Conspiracy” or “The and the resultant hung parliament. actor Armin Mueller-Stahl). The cameras Brexit Memorandum” or something I don’t use real characters in the were rolling when Hurt held up his along those lines. I thought I would book. I point out in an author’s note at hand. “Stop filming” he called.” Stanley mainly concentrate on the (imagined) the beginning that the book is a work Johnson is in my eye-line!” dark and dirty goings-on which led to the victory of the Leave campaign. But as I settled down to work against a tight schedule I quickly realized that focussing on Brexit was too one- Igor Popov spends a lot of time doing macho stuff, dimensional. The skulduggery I wanted to write about extended to both sides of like shooting hypodermic darts into tigers. the Atlantic. Indeed, the links between the Referendum campaign over here, and the US election, seemed both strong and continuing. I realized I needed a different, less of fiction and satire, and not a work of Though I was on the Remain side in geographically specific title and hit history. I state very firmly that “readers the referendum campaign (I founded on KOMPROMAT, the Russian term of this novel should not conclude and co-chaired Environmentalists for for compromising materials about in any way that any living person Europe), I am not trying to make a a politician or other public figure. misbehaved in the manner that some political point with KOMPROMAT. Not I take my hat off to the publishers; of the characters in the book regrettably much of one anyway. This book is just Oneworld Publications. Having started seem to have done.” meant to be fun. A good read. Something in February this year, I turned in the I don’t want to give away the plot to take to the beach or on a plane. completed draft - some 90,000 words - of the book here. I want Boisdale Life Oddly enough, the character I most half-way through April. The book was readers to get hold of a copy (buy, empathized with, as I wrote, is my published on July 13, which meant beg, borrow or steal) and read it for Russian President, Igor Popov. Popov

38 WE WANT TO HEAR YOUR OPINIONS AND COMMENTS – EMAIL THE EDITOR [email protected] Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10 Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10

spends a lot of time doing macho stuff, Secretary, and Harry Owen, Boisdale former Channel 4 executives: Camilla like shooting hypodermic darts into Life’s Managing Director! I was delighted Campbell and Robert Wulf-Cochrane. At tigers and flying the Russian Presidential that Ken Livingstone, former Mayor of the moment they are in the earlier stages plane at speeds in excess of Mach 1. London, also came to the launch. He of preparation, but they time will come Of course, Popov isn’t Putin, but read the book prior to publication and when they will be looking for actors and I know I was at least subconsciously kindly provided a splendid quote for I have my eye on a cameo role. influenced by the three days I once the front cover: “It’s brilliant and, who KOMPROMAT is dedicated to my spent in St Petersburg at a meeting on knows, it may be true!” twelve grandchildren. One of them, international wildlife conservation And there has been quite a buzz since Rosie, has taken the trouble to count up brilliantly organized and chaired by the launch. Apart from Adam Boulton the number of characters in the five-page Delicious is everything. President Putin himself. on Sky News, I’ve been interviewed by cast list printed at the front of the book. The launch of KOMPROMAT on Nick Ferrari on LBC, Nick Robinson on The total comes to 127. Don’t tell me July 13 went well. Daunt's Bookshop in the Today programme, Julia Hartley- they can’t find some small part for me Marylebone High St is a lovely place to Brewer on Talk Radio, Vanessa Feltz to play! have a party and, in spite of the fact that on BBC Radio London, the BBC World There’s a lift operator, for example, the Spectator Summer party was being Service, CNN, and so on. in the Kempinski Hotel in St Petersburg Hand-Dipped Bottle. held the same day, family and friends The tremendously exciting news who keeps his eyes and ears open for were out in force, including Prince from my point of view is that Channel useful KOMPROMAT material while he Our red wax is a symbol of our commitment to and Princess Michael of Kent, former 4 has commissioned six half-hour TV guides fragrant guests to the Penthouse the way Bill Samuels Sr. created Maker’s Mark. Commissioner of the Metropolitan programmes based on the book. They Suite. I know it takes months, if not years, Every bottle is still hand-dipped in our signature police, Sir Bernard and Lady Hogan- have lined up a brilliant production for this kind of film project to come to Howe, Boris Johnson the Foreign company called Noho, run by two fruition, but I’m prepared to wait. red wax. And, as always, our bourbon is aged to taste, ensuring a consistency and quality that make it Maker’s Mark. JULY 13TH – DAUNT BOOKS, MARYLEBONE STANLEY JOHNSON’S BOOK LAUNCH

Small Batch Bourbon. We make our bourbon in small batches Stanley Johnson with Lady Gabriella Windsor and Prince and Princess Former London Mayor, Ken Livingston with Stanley Johnson Michael of Kent in vats made from 100-year-old cypress. We remain one of the few distillers to rotate our barrels by hand so they mellow in their own distinctive way.

makersmark.com

Eve Pollard, Stanley Johnson and Rachel Johnson Boris Johnson and Boisdale Life MD Harry Owen Guests toasting the launch of KOMPROMAT WE MAKE OUR BOURBON CAREFULLY. PLEASE ENJOY IT THAT WAY. Maker’s Mark® Bourbon Wh isky, 45% Alc./Vol. ©2015 Maker’s Mark Distillery, Inc. Loretto, KY

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COMMENT ANGELA MERKEL: WHO’S THAT GIRL? Un trio d’exception Acclaimed historian and author Giles MacDonogh asks where Angela Merkel stands in the pantheon of powerful German leaders from Frederick the Great, to Adolph Hitler and asks whose mantle is she carrying?

WORDS BY GILES MACDONOGH

Angela Merkel is the only leader in the history of G20, to have attended every meeting, since the first in 2008. She has a degree in physics and a doctorate in quantum chemistry, and some say her success as a politician comes from her scientific, analytic approach to situations.

friend has written to ask me if Adolf Hitler was a Catholic Austrian Prussian on both sides. Her father Pastor I think Angela Merkel can be who had trouble getting out bed in the Horst Kasner was from Berlin-Pankow, compared to any or all of the morning. He was neither a king nor a later home to the Party elite of East following: Frederick the Great, Otto von nobleman, but one who worshipped Germany. Her mother Herlind is from Bismarck or Adolf Hitler. Frederick the Frederick (for all the wrong reasons) and Danzig in West Prussia, now Gdansk in Great, King of Prussia, was a Calvinist pretended to honour Bismarck. Hitler Poland. This Prussian-ness she has in king turned Deist who set out to avenge was a man who sought to create a huge common with both Frederick and Otto. his father and seize one of Austria’s German Empire in the east and promised Her father was a left-leaning man of the richest provinces, using the excuse that to eradicate what he considered to be cloth like countless Prussian worthies. a woman should not inherit the Holy inferior races of Jews and Slavs. At home The Prussian-ness expresses itself in Roman Empire. He was a pursuer of he attempted to militarise society, and a certain style – or lack of it. The Elder glory, a misanthropist, a lover of all things French, a homosexual, a philosopher and a flautist. Later in life he took part in a joint venture, which brought him a If Merkel boasts a péché mignon it is opera: large slice of Polish cake. To be honest, I don’t see much of Angie there. she goes to Bayreuth to see The Ring. And there’s Otto von Bismarck: a member of the Lutheran Prussian gentry, a great guzzler and a hysterical man who unified Germany under Prussian bent his people to his will by using every Moltke whose military victories laid the hegemony and who fought socialists and possible instrument of terror. Somehow I keel for the German Empire of 1871 said the Catholic Church; a man who was don’t see our Angie there either. you needed to be ‘mehr Sein als Schein’ With small production, longer ageing and a constant focus on quality, brilliant, but lazy, vindictive and mildly So it’s worth asking who is Frau Doctor – more reality than appearance - and that Champagne Deutz is the Grande Marque Champagne with boutique philosophies. corrupt and who ended up being sacked Angela Merkel née Kasner because we would seem to sum Angie up. A doctor as a result. Angela Merkel is Lutheran really know very little about what makes of physics, she is a little woman – just at least; she has a slight potbelly and is her tick. She was born in Hamburg in 1.65 metres tall, who allegedly keeps a Explore the complete Deutz range at Fortnum & Mason, Picadilly, London. known to drink a glass of wine, but there West Germany in 1954, and was carried portrait of the Anhalt-Zerbst princess, the comparison ends. into the East as a tiny child. She is Catherine the Great in her office (true,

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and the Middle-East. Some were Syrians, others claimed a right to asylum because they hailed from war zones. Frederick the Great didn’t do this, but his father allowed the Protestant Salzburger's to settle in East Prussia and his great- grandfather welcomed the French EXPERIENCE THE ULTIMATE 10 Huguenots after the Revocation of the Edict of Nantes in 1685. Frau Merkel justifies her open-handedness with IN PRIVATE DINING PRIVATE reference to Germany’s dwindling birth- rate and the need for regeneration. It AT BOISDALE may well be that her real motivation was DINING compassion, however, and that after all the misery Adolf caused, Germany could ROOMS make a gesture of unstinting generosity. She is a clergyman’s daughter after all. Unfortunately there was a knock- on effect. In Germany there has been CAPACITY 8 - 42 GUESTS No room hire charge culture-shock with immigrants boggling at the liberal world about them and helping themselves a little too eagerly to its fruits. Germany, spared until now, has become a home to Islamic terrorism. The effect has been to inject life into far-right parties like the AfD and Pegida, although In her early public life, Angela Merkel loved to brag about her cooking and baking qualities. Indeed, there I suspect that they will find it hard to is a lot of praise for her potato soup, her beef loaf and especially her plum cake! capture even 25% of the vote: Germans are taught to atone for their guilt without complaint. The knock-on effect was felt Hitler had Frederick in his bunker). the first thirty-five years of her life in a in Germany’s neighbours too. Poland She wears lipstick now, and has totalitarian society, shuttling between and Hungary have crept into their right- a collection of shapeless jackets, but her father’s Uckermark vicarage and the wing shells and Austria has suffered and when it comes to ‘doing her hair’ demands of an austerely secular state. disassociated itself with Germany. In someone whips out a pudding bowl. She She ran adeptly between the hare and the Great Britain, Angela’s gesture may well doesn’t live in the washing-machine- hounds: ‘my life was not as grey as the have swayed the electorate on 23 June like Chancellery but with her second DDR/GDR was a state.’ She can deal with 2016 to vote to leave the EU. Images of husband, Professor Horst Sauer in his bullies and is firm with Putin, whom she bedraggled middle-eastern migrants small flat on the Kupfergraben opposite addresses in fluent Russian – she visited marching on Germany were every BOISDALE OF BELGRAVIA BOISDALE OF MAYFAIR the Pergamon Museum. The last time Moscow first at fifteen after winning a propagandist’s dream. I walked by a lone policeman stood Russian language ‘Olympiad’ - and she If Angie had a role model it was the in the doorway mounting guard. She did her best with a sulky Trump. For most gourmand Pfalzer, Helmut Kohl, who drives her own little car and does the of the time she administers pragmatically, provides us with a parallel to Bismarck. shopping locally, allegedly in a modest but there is little legislation that bears her Fritz couldn’t give a hoot about Germany, but Bismarck united it, Hitler rent it asunder and Kohl put it back together again in 1989. Unfortunately Kohl A doctor of physics, Merkel is a little woman – had to step down as the leader of the Christian Democrats, Angie’s party, after just 1.65 metres tall – who keeps a portrait of it was revealed that he was complicit in Catherine the Great in her office. a scandal involving millions of Marks in undeclared donations from dodgy businessmen. Angie protects his legacy. She was born the personification of a BOISDALE OF CANARY WHARF BOISDALE OF BISHOPSGATE grocer’s shop in the Friedrichstrasse. stamp, which might be further evidence divided Germany, and she must have felt When she fancies a night out, she of her Prussianism. the need as much as anyone to bring the and Horst repair to an unglamorous She supports the EU with a Franco- two halves together. When Kohl engaged restaurant on the Prenzlauer Berg in the German alliance as its fulcrum. her in 1990, he called her ‘das Mädchen’, old Soviet Sector, shunning Borchardt Germany is a giant frightened of its not so much in a pejorative sense, but in the Französische Strasse where most own strength – remove the EU, and it as ‘the girl’ who got things done. Angela other politicians gather. If she boasts a becomes a potential evil genius – or so Merkel has shown her determination to péché mignon it is opera: she goes to many Germans believe. It is therefore in maintain that unity, not least because the SEE BOISDALE.CO.UK OR Bayreuth to see The Ring. German interests to make Europe strong moment the two Germanys became one That we don’t know what Angie is and unified. Angela’s most controversial she was able to throw off the shackles CALL ALEXANDRIA ON 020 7715 5815 actually thinking much of the time is act in her twelve-year reign has been to of her youth. Kohl was Bismarck’s heir, probably a result of the fact she spent admit a million or so refugees from Asia Angie, Kohl’s.

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PrivateHireChristmas (original).indd 2 22/09/2017 10:41 Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10 Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10

COMMENT A RURAL RANT Francis F. Fulford rails against the current crop of wealthy “incomers” from the City of London to rural England and questions their financial integrity

WORDS BY FRANCIS FULFORD

wenty odd years ago a friend the balcony and so many eggs were laid call them down here in deepest darkest telephoned. “Frank you’ve got to we even had a surplus but the locals Devon, is ‘attitude.’ How often have I help me. I‘ve got these bankers began to complain. Our chickens were met some newly arrived banker at some from London coming to dinner. Could early risers and made a huge racket. The ‘do’ or other and, on being introduced to you come and liven proceedings up a landlord sent a series of unnecessarily him, seen his eyes glaze over in boredom bit. I think they may be bit boring.” rude letters and the chickens had to go. before I have even said anything! Well, you know what? They were a But I tell the story to demonstrate an This is cheek. Meeting Captains of bit boring. In fact they were massively example of urban intolerance to country Industry or Commerce is, all too often, boring and to ‘liven proceedings up a people, coming to town and bringing like eating in a bad restaurant. The bit’ as per my instructions I eventually with them their habits. I am a great menu promises great earthly delights piped up and said: “Do you know believer in the ‘when in Wales, do what but when the courses arrive they are what makes me laugh? You are all the Welsh do’ school of thought (though tasteless and disappointing. You think worth hundreds of millions because they are successful of pounds but what you really bankers or businessmen they want to be is what we are: must, by definition, have English Country Gentlemen!” much of interest to impart and Up until that point, they lots of good stories to amuse hadn’t noticed me except to the assembled company. Sadly give me the ‘goodness what’s of course they have none that dog poo doing on the and spend their time instead carpet’ look, but now I could staring morosely at the screen see I had hit the spot. of their pathetic smart phone. As early as the 1420s the And they believe it is us Italian scholar and humanist not them who are thick and Poggio Bracciolini wrote of boring; an opinion that has English society: “I have seen a been reinforced by the idea man who has given up trade, that rural England voted bought an expensive estate, overwhelmingly for Brexit and left town to go there with in contrast to ‘sophisticated his family, turn his sons into international’ Londoners. noblemen and himself be But worse than their accepted by the noble classes.” ‘attitude’ is their ‘standards’ As it was then, so it is today. or rather lack a lack thereof. Now, on the whole we Every local builder and welcome these newcomers into supplier learns this the hard rural England and it would be way. If you are dealing with hypocritical in the extreme if ‘incomers’ it’s ‘cash up front.’ we didn’t. After all I was once Many a time have I listened an ‘incomer’ to London where to a tale of woe told by some I shared a flat with another jobbing builder seduced by ‘incomer’, a Somerset baronet called Francis Fulford is as angry as this chicken! prospect of working for someone with Ben Slade. Our flat was in one of those seemingly endless riches (instead of us red brick built mansion blocks behind penny-pinching locals); of how they Westminster Cathedral and boasted a perhaps not with sheep). Sadly, urban were asked to build a wall or a fence balcony. Ben had the great idea that man, when he comes to the country, does for “them furriners who bought so and we could keep chickens on the balcony not subscribe to this dictum. Instead, he so house”, only to discover that when that every morning would provide us tries to impose his ideas, customs and it comes to paying the bill they simply with eggs. It was back in the days when prejudices on us native countrymen. don’t. When the poor chap eventually there was something called the ‘The All too often the courts of law, stuffed insists, they find fault with some aspect Egg Marketing Board’, which urged as they are with lawyers and judges who of his craftsmanship and eventually, everybody, “to go to work on an egg”. have no knowledge of the joys of rural grudgingly, offer to pay him half or So we thought we would give it a bash life, side with these incomers when they two thirds of his bill. All too often he and see if, as the adverts suggested, our whine about the church bells being rung, accepts, as the cost of taking them to performance at our respective offices in or the rich smell of a field freshly spread court is prohibitive. the City would improve. with slurry. “But Graham,” I say. “How did you To begin with everything worked But the most irritating thing about think they made their money in the well. The chickens seemed to thrive on many ‘incomers’ or ‘furriners’ as we first place?”

48 49 Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10 Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10

COMMENT

fair crack of the whip and ask if there economy relies on the market as distinct programme? On government spending TOP OF THE CLASS are examples of countries around the from government in all its guises and, and tax the answer is yes. Moreover, world that have tried something like ultimately, it determines the percentage Sweden has a high level of public Chairman of Capital Economics, Roger Bootle considers Jeremy Corbyn’s economic policy this programme and succeeded? of national income that a government ownership of industry. But before you and examines the Scandinavian model for possible elucidation – can socialism ever really work? The obvious place to look is takes in tax from its citizens. The figure start to toast Jeremy Corbyn, I should add Scandinavia, the home of supposedly for the UK is currently 39%. With the that Swedish publicly-owned enterprises WORDS BY ROGER BOOTLE swish furniture, social harmony and the exception of Iceland, which operates with are run on commercial lines and state “Nordic” economic model. A superficial a ratio of 41%, all the others operate with involvement in privately-owned business look at the key macroeconomic numbers much higher ratios - 49% for Norway through price controls and regulations suggests that they are doing much better and Sweden, 51% for Denmark and a is limited. Interestingly, while much of than we are. We are struggling to keep whopping 55% for Finland. These ratios Europe has been increasing the ratio of the ratio of government debt to GDP are mirrored by almost exactly the same government spending (and tax) to GDP, below 90%. The equivalent figure for figures for the ratio of the government’s the Swedes have been reducing it. In the Sweden is 42%, with 33% for Norway tax-take to GDP. Make no mistake: these early 1980s to the mid-1990s the ratio and 40% for Denmark. For the two non- are all high tax countries. was over 60% of GDP, compared with Scandinavian Nordic countries, Finland In other respects, though, the Nordic about 50% today. and Iceland, the figures are 64% and countries are very different from each Moreover, whatever works for Sweden 53% respectively. We have struggled other. Norway has a small population is not bound to work for the UK. Its to bring our government budget deficit but huge oil resources. Iceland is an even history, comparatively small population and, until recently, ethnic uniformity have made it a comparatively easy country to govern by consensus. It has I realise that many a reader of this magazine may long enjoyed very low levels of industrial unrest. (By contrast, imagine what find the prospect of such a programme appalling Corbyn plus nationalisation and repeal of enough to induce indigestion. the Thatcher labour reforms would spell for industrial unrest here.) When it comes to the state, it isn’t so much the size of it that matters as down to 2½% of GDP and we are still smaller economy with extensive thermal what you do with it. There is no magic struggling and cutting. The figure for energy supplies. Denmark is another relationship with the level of GDP per Finland is similar to ours, but Sweden small economy with greater similarities capita – or its growth rate. You have to has a deficit of only about 0.5% of GDP, to the United Kingdom but its economic judge Sweden’s performance in relation and Denmark 1%. Norway’s government structure is radically different and its to its endowments of resources and its is actually in surplus to the tune 3% currency is closely tied to the Euro. history. Within Europe, France operates of GDP while Iceland runs a surplus of Finland is a different kettle of fish with an even higher ratio of government about 1% of GDP. altogether, ethnically, linguistically and spending to GDP (about 55%) and And then there is overseas trade. We politically. Not many British people are is much less successful. Meanwhile, have run a huge current account deficit aware of this, but during the Second Switzerland operates with a much lower The Nordic model (also called Nordic capitalism or Nordic social democracy) refers to the economic and social policies common to the Nordic countries (loosely speaking an excess of exports, World War, because of our alliance with ratio, namely just over 30%, and is more (Denmark, Finland, Norway, Iceland, and Sweden). This includes a combination of free market capitalism with a comprehensive welfare state and collective or their equivalent, over imports). Over bargaining at the national level the last year the figure has been almost 4% of GDP. By contrast, Finland runs a small deficit of 1% of GDP, while or the first time in a long while, the virtually all countries in the west, and its so far mentioned combined suppression Norway, Sweden, Denmark and Iceland These are statistics boring British people are being offered a satellites in Eastern Europe fared just as of market forces with a totalitarian all run surpluses of 5%, 5%, 8%, and old economists like me fret over. socialist agenda. I refer, of course, badly. Strikingly, it was only where some political structure. That is not what 8%, respectively. to the programme pursued by Mrs May’s measure of market freedom was allowed Mr Corbyn is apparently offering. But these are statistics for boring old “Conservative” government. Remarkably, that economic performance raised itself Rather, he aims to combine genuine economists like me to fret over. It is the there is something even more to the left above the level of the truly appalling. parliamentary democracy with a market performance of GDP per head (which is of this, namely Mr Corbyn’s more radical In similar vein, before the market economy of sorts, but modified by the ultimate determinant of standards the Soviet Union and the Soviet Union’s successful. And in Asia, Hong Kong and agenda. This has been widely decried reforms introduced by Deng Xiaoping the realisation of traditional socialist of living) that butters parsnips. On this attack on Finland, Britain and Finland Singapore, having no natural resources as unrealistic and expensive and even in 1978, the Chinese economy was objectives: large-scale nationalisation measure, the UK comes in as about the were on opposite sides – although we whatsoever, operate with ratios of potentially, economically disastrous. essentially a basket case. Of course, of industry, particularly the public same as Finland but way, way below the never fought each other. All friends today, government spending (and tax receipts) As with all things economic, however, China has long since left such dismal utilities, substantial increases in public others. On some measures the UK’s GDP of course. But Finland is a member of the to GDP of just under 20%. Both have before indulging such in a kneejerk economic performance behind but North spending in order to fund the NHS and per head comes in at only about half that euro and it has long maintained strong been spectacularly successful. reaction, we should at least give a passing Korea still manages to fly the flag for redistribute income towards the poorer of Norway. Admittedly, that is an extreme links with Germany. We could try to settle the matter nod to the facts. Is socialism really such batty, anti-market economic policies. parts of society, substantial intervention comparison. But the UK’s GDP per capita So these countries are not ideal by experiment. Perhaps we could an economic disaster? Granted, it can make (and fire) ballistic in business, and increases in taxes is still about 15% below Sweden’s. comparators for the UK. The country that experience five years of Corbynomics If you mean the red in tooth and missiles but its economy continues to do for both businesses and high-earning So how have these successful Nordic we really ought to home in on is Sweden. and see how we get on? Well, you claw variety, then the answer has to appallingly badly. And Cuba, that one individuals. economies managed it? Has it been This is a country of some ten million could experience it and see how you be an unequivocal “yes”. There isn’t a time repository of many leftists’ hopes I realise that many a reader of this through cutting back the size of the people with an enviably high standard get on. Personally, I don’t need such single case of extreme socialism, aka and dreams, continues to languish well magazine may find the prospect of state and running with very low tax of living. Like us, it is inside the EU but an experiment to know the outcome. I communism, managing to sustain decent below its potential. such a programme appalling enough rates? Quite the opposite. The ratio of outside the euro. would be off – and not to Scandinavia. economic performance. The Soviet Yet you could argue that all this is to induce indigestion, but we really government spending to GDP is a pretty Has Sweden got rich by operating Maybe Boisdale will open somewhere in Union chronically underperformed just knockabout stuff. All the countries should give the Corbyn programme a good measure of the extent that an policies anything like the Corbyn Switzerland? Hint. Hint.

50 WE WANT TO HEAR YOUR OPINIONS AND COMMENTS – EMAIL THE EDITOR [email protected] Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10

COMMENT FAMILY INVESTMENT COMPANIES Family Investment Companies have seen something of a resurgence recently and though not the panacea that they are sometimes thought to be, they can be very effective in the right circumstances. Haysmacintyre’s Head of Tax, Katharine Arthur, sets out some of the main considerations regarding their use.

WORDS BY KATHARINE ARTHUR, HEAD OF TAX AT HAYSMACINTYRE

2016. It’s worth noting that the UK has one of the lowest corporation tax rates of any of the Group 7 (G7) countries, currently set at 19% for 2017/8 this is set to reduce down to 17% from April 2020. FICs are often most efficient as long term investment vehicles when profits are retained within the Company.

ADVANTAGES OF AN FIC

• Cash transfer into the company is tax-free • No immediate charge to IHT on the gift of shares from the donor (parent) to another individual (children/grandchildren) as Family Investment Company For example shares may be sold to the deemed to be a potentially exempt transfer or FIC is essentially a private company but the proceeds left on loan, (PET). investment company. The perhaps due to a newly formed FIC not • No further IHT implications on the donor directors and shareholders of the having available funds. When dividend if they survive for seven years following the company will be individual family income begins to flow to the company date of gift (but watch out for a CGT charge members or family trusts. Also a very these could be used to fund loan on the gift of the shares themselves). flexible structure, an FIC allows families repayments, giving the ‘founder’ access • The donor can exercise control in to define how specific family members to the funds in a tax free form. the company providing the articles of benefit through varying rights attaching As with most companies, tax will association are drafted such. to shares or the number of shares in arise where profits are extracted either in • The company would only pay tax at a rate issue. Shares cab be structured to allow the form of income tax on distributions of 20% on the profits that it generates (0% the passing of ownership of underlying or capital gains tax on share disposals. on dividend income). Introducing Maggie’s Barts assets to the next generation without From April 2016 the dividend regime • Shareholders only pay tax to the extent older family members losing control. has changed and a new tax free dividend the company distributes income. An FIC can provide a straightforward, allowance of £5,000 has been introduced. • If the profits are retained within the Maggie’s provides free support to people with cancer tax efficient solution to family succession Any dividends above this level will be company (or used to repay an initial loan), and their families and friends at our Centres across issues. The solution will be most relevant taxed at 7.5% (basic rate), 32.5% (higher no further tax would be payable. the UK and abroad. to individuals with substantial investment rate) and 38.1% (additional rate). Care assets and income, to be preserved for the must be taken to ensure a Stamp Duty The new Centre will provide vital cancer support to next generation and protected from high Land Tax liability does not arise on personal tax rates. The tax perspective of the transfer to an FIC of commercial or DISADVANTAGES OF AN FIC the thousands of people affected by cancer in the City. an FIC is important but it is also essential residential property. The value of the • If non-cash assets are transferred into the Join us for our opening event on Monday 11th December to consider the protection, commercial shares in the FIC will be subject to IHT company, the donor may incur a capital and personal implications. on the death of the shareholder, to the gains tax (CGT) charge at a rate of 28% from 3pm – 7pm at St Bartholomew’s Hospital. extent of the value of their shareholding. based on the market value of assets at the CREATING AN FIC The benefit lies in the gift of shares to date of transfer. Email [email protected] One should be aware when creating the next generations. • When assets qualify for reliefs such as or call 07584 682 541 for more information. an FIC, that the main downside of business property relief or agricultural transferring assets standing at a gain FIC TAXATION property relief, a trust structure may be Text MAGG10 £10 to 70070 to donate £10 now. into an FIC is that it is a CGT disposal, FICs are taxed in the same as other more suitable. crystallising gains at 20/28%. Therefore, companies and pay corporation tax on • There is an element of double taxation in 100% of your donation will go to Maggie’s. it is recommended to use cash, or their annual income and gains. Unlike using the company structure. The profits Standard rate charges may apply. assets with minimal gains (e.g. recently individuals, FICs still benefit from are first subject to corporation tax at a rate inherited portfolios), or offset capital indexation on capital gains, removing an of 20% and then are subject to income tax Please visit www.maggiescentres.org/textdonate losses (where available). allowance for inflation from the charge when they are subsequently distributed to If an individual places the money in to tax. Crucially, there is no charge to the shareholders. for full details. an FIC, this will often be by way of a corporation tax if the FIC is in receipt • The company will have to comply with @MaggiesBarts loan. These loans are often interest free of dividend income from UK companies company filing regulations, but there are and repayable on demand. If funds are and the FIC therefore offers potential also costs to consider when setting up and @MaggiesBarts required repayments of loan capital can protection from high personal and trust running the alternative of a trust. Media Partner for Maggie’s Barts be made without incurring further tax. tax rates of up to 38.1% from 6 April

Maggie Keswick Jencks Cancer Caring Centres Trust (Maggie’s) is a registered charity, No. SCO24414 52 Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10

LIFESTYLE A VERY ENGLISH MAN IN JAPAN Johnny Acton finds that japan is weird, but not that weird and the food is off the planet!

For50 years, WORDS BY JOHNNY ACTON we’ve measured success just one way: We only win when our clients win.

There was a time when investment bankers were trusted partners and

advisors to their clients. The goal was simple: relentlessly commit to Boisdale Life asked Johnny Acton for a snapshot of life in Japan. Johnny is a former Times obituarist who has written 17 non-fiction books on a bewildering array of subjects. He was also the founder of Soup Works, a chain of gourmet soup bars that was flavour of the month around the turn of the millennium. your clients; be hardworking and humble; stay unconflicted in your work

and uncompromising in your values. The rest will take care of itself. ’m going to do my damnedest to eccentricities like the apparent restriction but the Japanese are so hyper-sensitised write this piece without reference of cycling to the pavement. You don’t, as to the comfort and convenience of to Lost in Translation. Oh bugger. in Paris, need to know the name of the everyone that I suspect there is no need Our success proves there’s still room in the world for a firm that embraces The reason it’s so difficult to refrain last tube station on the line to get yourself for legislation in this area. They just

SM from mentioning Sophia Coppola’s on the right one, and you stand a decent don’t do it. There are, however, dedicated an approach that has stood the test of time: Clients First–Always. movie is that it has entered the collective chance of finding someone who speaks smoking clubs and you can have a fag just unconscious as the definitive portrayal of reasonable English. about anywhere, provided it’s indoors. what it’s like for a Westerner to visit Japan. The main thing that makes jostling Outside is another matter. This, we are warned, is a place of man- about with 36 million other people There is doubtless a downside to this eating lavatories and homicidal exercise surprisingly pleasant, however, is relentless pleasantness. The pressure machines, where the locals will bark at the extraordinary level of politeness. must grow intolerable. But for the you incomprehensibly and everything is Cleaning ladies really do bow at trains casual visitor, the effect is delightful. bewildering and upside down. as they come into terminals. When you I don’t speak the language but I’d There is some truth in this, but not are jammed into a metro carriage by a imagine that every second word is an much. The loos can be challenging – guard wearing white gloves, the contact apology. Such things are profoundly push the wrong button and you run feels friendly and respectful. Somewhere reassuring to an Englishman. the risk of an intense proctological along the line, the Japanese seem to This is how polite the Japanese are: examination, music blaring out or the have sat down and agreed it would be to one night, my friend and I were deeply seat growing uncomfortably hot – but everyone’s advantage if people were just lost in the Shibuya district when an at least they are free and abundant. And nice to each other. The feverish debate attractive young lady emerged from Japanese authority figures do sometimes about the rights to offend and be offended the shadows. “You want brojob?” she bark, but only after adopting a special that currently looms so large in the West enquired, with admirable directness. We neutralising sing-song tone. wouldn’t resonate in Japan. They simply explained that although that sounded In fact, I was struck by how easy it don’t go there. Cigars are a case in point. lovely, we were late for a rendezvous was to navigate Tokyo, once I got used to I didn’t come across anyone smoking one with an acquaintance. In fact, would she

©2016 Jefferies LLC. In the United Kingdom, Jefferies International Limited is authorised and regulated by the Financial Conduct Authority. WE WANT TO HEAR YOUR OPINIONS AND COMMENTS – EMAIL THE EDITOR [email protected] Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10 Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10

performance anxiety. At one stage, we were joined by a man who the assembled design crowd proclaimed the coolest in Tokyo. He looked like Bob Marley crossed with Lionel Richie. He took to the mike and sang George Michael’s Faith - appallingly. This only enhanced his credibility. I found the experience overwhelmingly moving somehow and burst into tears while performing a surprise rendition of Someone Like You. For the record, Smells Like Teen Spirit and You’ll Never Walk Alone went down particularly well, The Vapors’ Turning Japanese less so. The other thing I simply had to do was visit an onsen, or hot spring resort. Accordingly, I took the misleadingly named Romance Train to the spa region of Hakone. Things started off well with the man next to me cracking a bottle of Cava (it was 10 in the morning). He spoke good The term yokozuna denotes the highest rank in sumo. There are no set requirements to become a yokozuna. Rather, it is a state of athleticism and grace. For ‘Singlish’, having lived in Singapore for years, foreigners (or gaijin) were prevented from attaining this rank until 1993 and the massive Hawaiian-born competitor Chad Rowan, who wrestled under several years. Unfortunately, he clammed the name “Akebono” up when I mentioned that my wife’s Sacred barrels of sake offerings at the Meiji Shrine. The Meiji shrine is devoted to the deified spirits of the grandfather had surrendered the island Emperor and Empress Meiji. In the past, the emperor and his wife were considered living gods by the Shinto to the Japanese in 1942. It was idiotic of religion. The Emperor is the guy Tom Cruise handed that sword to at the end of Last Samurai…! mind telling us where the metro station Shinto monument to the deified spirit of hadn’t contrived to spray the acid green me to bring it up. was? “Ah so”, she said, abandoning the great modernising emperor is a huge contents of a giant prawn’s head over Hakone is a gorgeous alpine area her lamp post, walking us to a nearby wall made up of sacred sake barrels. On the once-in-a-lifetime bowl of chirashi seething with volcanic activity, hence warm themselves in hot springs in the nation’s fabled capsule hotels. Like many junction and pointing the way with a the other is an equally impressive display sushi that I ordered at a stall at Tsukiji. the onsen for which the region is chilly north of the country. things in Japan, the experience was couple of bows. It seems unlikely that of holy Bourgogne wine. Nevertheless, I ate like a king. Even the famous. It also has a fantastic outdoor I was moved to compose a limerick: stimulating and a little bit surreal. this experience would be duplicated in The ultimate foodie experience in Italian food is better in Tokyo than in its sculpture park and black eggs cooked in The Japanese think that it’s nonsense, Spending time in the Land of the Rising the backstreets of Soho. Tokyo, though, is a visit to Tsukiji fish native land, according to one Milanese the sulphurous fumaroles of Owakudani When they’ve soaped up and hosed Sun was like being in a thrilling theme The main thing that brought me to market. I decided to forgo the dawn tuna ex-pat, who must remain nameless lest (‘Great Boiling Valley’). I checked into down their Johnsons, park, the theme being ‘Japaneseness’. No Tokyo was not, however, the flawless auction, in which tourists irritate the she be assassinated at home. a ryokan – a traditional hotel with For tourists to waver or even to haver culture on Earth is more sharply itself. manners of the hookers. It was the traders and torpedo-like Bluefin tuna It isn’t just the food. The Japanese paper screens and a bedroll – to sample From shaking them round in This is what makes it such an engrossing food. I first ate Japanese as a thirteen- are sold for up to half a million quid a have turned nearly everything into an Hakone’s delights. The place was a bit their onsens. place to visit, even if you don’t bump year-old in Washington DC. Alongside piece. There was still quite a lot to see art form. Even the homeless arrange faded but it was a novel environment in I passed my last night in one of the into Scarlett Johansson. using my un-gloved right hand to make though. After all, one in five of the fish themselves remarkably neatly, lying on which to watch the third Trump-Clinton immaculate rectangles of cardboard. debate. Any tattiness was instantly This talent for ordered solutions to forgiven when the food arrived. This NOMIKOMU human needs and desires is particularly was exquisite kaiseki cuisine, with nine well expressed in the field of leisure. courses for breakfast and more at dinner. I don’t speak the language but I’d imagine that Karaoke springs to mind, as do Love I often had no idea what I was eating but every second word is an apology. Such things are Hotels, maid cafés (an echo of geisha it was all excellent. A Japanese proverb culture, in which a nice young woman says that every time you eat something profoundly reassuring to an Englishman. will innocently play Jenga with you or new you add 75 days to your life, so I clean out your ears with a cotton bud) left considerably younger than I came in. and all manner of animal cafés. I visited The ryokan had some rather prosaic a couple in Tokyo’s version of Carnaby hot water tubs but they dished out free the decisive catch in a New York Times consumed by Homo sapiens (you read Street in Harajuku. Contrary to the passes to the onsen round the corner. I vs Washington Post softball match, that correctly) passes through this vast advertisement outside, I can’t say I was tottered up there in the wooden slippers an act that astonished and delighted market. From dried bonito with the particularly ‘at ease by owls’ at ‘Japan’s provided for the occasion (you spend the cricket-shy assemblage, it was the consistency of wood to giant squid’s eyes, most kawaii (‘cute’) place’. They looked a lot of time changing from one set of highlight of my trip. The daring novelty if it comes from the ocean it’s there. I was as though they’d far rather be asleep and slippers into another in Japan), feeling of eating raw fish, the sting of the wasabi, particularly taken with what appeared to might suddenly bite your hand off. But like an unlikely Geisha girl. the jewel-like morsels of God-knows be a prawn and whale stall. I was definitely at ease with the Bengal It was a working-class place, not unlike If you would like to explore Japanese culture further, what, all excited me so much that I had I have certain regrets about my cats upstairs, even if I got rather hot once a public swimming bath in Britain, only we recommend checking out www.nomikomu.co.uk to pop outside to be sick. culinary adventures in Japan. I wish five of them had taken up residence on utterly different. You began by scrubbing If proof were needed that the Japanese I’d tried chanko nabe, the protein- my outstretched legs. yourself in a wet room – it would be an Nomikomu was created by sisters Kerensa and Xenobe Purvis. Having lived in both Japan and the UK, take their food and drink seriously, a visit rich stew on which sumo wrestlers The Karaoke was particularly unconscionable faux pas to bring soap the sisters were keen to establish a dialogue between the two countries. Nomikomu was the result, a to the Meiji Shrine should do the trick. are fattened up. I almost wish I’d had enjoyable. Counter-intuitively, it struck into the spa area – and proceeded to the place dedicated to exploring the cultural differences and affinities between these island nations. It’s I spent my first morning there while my a go at fugu, the flesh of the puffer me as the perfect therapeutic activity for waters themselves, where you squatted brimming with beautiful illustrations, Anglo-Japanese art and design, short films, prints, photography microscopic hotel room was prepared. fish, which might just kill you if the an essentially shy people. You’ve just alongside some jolly old local men and ceramics. The Japanese word Nomikomu means ‘to gulp’ – please drink deeply. On one side of the approach road to the chef screws up. But above all I wish I so got to join in that there’s no point in feeling like one of those macaques who

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not shine torches in people’s eyes as it a domestic wine cellar, where with the tunnels to ‘something’ they both wanted would ruin night vision. We are also told four of us huddled around, John and Jim us to see. Jean puts on some fantastical CITY OF THE DEAD to look out for potholes and rusty, jagged pull out a long thin chopping board and techno-trance ambient music echoing off metal spikes from the ceiling as well as very sharp small knife. Jean delicately into the black and declaring us alive in Boisdale Life’s fearless Editor-at-Large, Paddy Renouf and the artist Tom Maryniak not only break the law, the deep underground wells. slices a saucisson with ritualistic care of the sacred silence. but risk a cold dark death exploring the Paris catacombs and the ‘City of the Dead’ After a kilometre march, Jean turns a good host. Just as I am thinking about You don't realise how scary it is, to address us: “I have to say this once how I wished I’d brought some wine, having a whole mountain on top of you, WORDS BY PADDY RENOUF more – entry to these Catacombs is he offers a hip flask containing the most until you're in the dark as we were in illegal and if we are found by the delicious home made rum-based banana those tunnels. At moments, it feels like police, we might be arrested and will cocktail. In the flickering light on the a cross between ‘Lost in Space’ and ‘Journey to the Centre of the Earth’. Later, five or six kilometres in, John switches off the lights and lamps and cuts the music. I have never known darkness We emerge from a manhole at 2am in a very like it. You start to hear the silence. Bad fashionable street near to the Seine. planning would mean flat batteries and that would most certainly lead to peril and you would possibly never find a way out. Unbelievably, there are as many passages underground, heading off certainly be fined. It is only right that cavernous walls we settle down to be randomly and crisscrossing your path, I once more make you aware of this. educated about this underground world as there are roads and avenues above. Now, behind me, is a bridge. We will in which we are trespassing. At times the fear is spine chilling but climb over the ramparts and lower Our guides are what are known as after our last 15 minute rest in a catacomb ourselves to the embankment below.” Cataphiles. They are not just people who full of damp and furry bones, we start We three silently follow climbing explore the Catacombs; they are people on the last 20 mins and the air starts to down the embankment and tentatively who love Catacombs and it becomes get fresher, almost a gentle breeze, until step our way along the disused railway apparent that we are in the largest John gestures to an upright iron ladder line. We suddenly stop. “Right, we enter network of Catacombs in the world, as which scares me more than ever as I have the catacombs from here,” says Jean. I look well as the largest necropolis. We are in 14 metal pins in my shoulder and no around but cannot make out any obvious a vast, random, city of the dead. confidence in holding my body weight. entrance. Then I look down and see by The 18th Century saw Louis XVI And so, after 12 kilometres we my left foot what looks like a badger’s set. encounter a problem caused by over emerge from a manhole at 2am in a very We are all silent for a moment. “Okay, crowding of the graveyards in Paris and fashionable street near to the Seine. No I’ll lead,” says Jean, “Jim will take up the he ordered that all the dead be heaved sooner than we replace the covers, our behind position. Just follow me down”. I and carted into the vacant space below. two guides run off into the night. Were look at the keystone above the rabbit hole The result is that, the remains of 6 they ever there? we are about to surrender to and Dante million mortals were dumped in disused Feeling a bit like Alice emerging from This summer, more than 300 bottles of vintage wine that had been stored in the catacombs under Paris was stolen – the haul carried out through the vast network comes rushing back to me ‘abandon all lime quarries. Many of the bodies her acid trip, we are left to re-acquaint of tunnels beneath the French capital was worth €250,000 hope, ye who enter here’. are partially decomposed, reducing ourselves with the Paris we know and I shove my bag ahead and slither into large deposits of fat, specifically love. The most obvious problem is that down a narrow slope, finding myself margarie acid. During the exhumation we are covered head to toe in chalky id you know that under the streets of they didn’t want unnecessary attention. cocktails at the Hemingway bar in the clumsily upright again, next to Jean. The of these bodies, these fat deposits were coloured clay, saturated up to mid-thigh, Paris is an underground metropolis Jean explains that under Paris there Ritz, my nerve nearly fails and I almost air is humid, almost fetid at a constant with an alternative community that are spaces of all kinds; canals and wimp-out. The very thought of going 15 degrees. Shortly, Tom and Jim are regularly explores its myriad of pitch- reservoirs, crypts and bank vaults, wine underground illegally with two strangers, alongside us too. Jean and Jim had dark tunnels and passageways, leading cellars transformed into nightclubs and with whom I had only communicated changed into waders before entering, from quarries and caverns, through a vast galleries. Over time, I gain his trust and with on Facebook using Google Translate, with Tom and I sheepishly looking at Sitting in an alcove is a Sikh, with a tan turban, network of sometimes flooded corridors, he finally admits that the only way for suddenly seems insane. each other as we were supposed to have sporting a head torch of his own. on past deep wells and elaborate shrines, me to understand fully, is to see it for What if we have an accident and brought some too. We are ludicrously into catacombs and ossuary’s containing myself. He will take me on a night-trek. break a leg in some dank corridor in the under-dressed. We switch on our head the bones of some 6 million Parisians? I tell Tom. He sends a text saying simply bowels of the earth with no lights… or torches and there sitting in an alcove is I didn’t, until the artist Tom Maryniak “I am coming!” fresh water… miles from an exit? Would a Sikh with a tan turban sporting a head told the story to me. It immediately Jean explains early on, that members these two characters even care? torch of his own. He smiles referring to collected, and used in the production of every step a loud squelch and steam appealed to the romantic renegade in of the community like to keep locations Jean Doe and Jim Doe arrive 20 minutes a hand-drawn map, with grubby fingers. candles and soap. rising from our jeans. But doesn’t stop me and I wanted to find out more. Who of the dozen entries and exits, as well as late. I confess that I am increasingly shy He tells us he is alone and it is his first There are apparently over 186 miles of us grinning from ear to ear and soon we were these people? Did they actually their own identities, secret. This keeps of the idea. They tell us in broken English foray into the Catacombs. tunnels to explore and since the network were both laughing. Once we get our live down there and abide by their own out vandals and weirdos, but there is that we need have no fear and they would We wade for a couple of hundred is so vast it has been impossible over bearings we hail a cab to the nearest bar. rules? Were they a Lord-of-the-Flies another reason: to enter and explore this only expose us to a small part of the entire meters over broken ground through the centuries to dig deep foundations EPILOGUE: Two weeks after our community; weed smoking hippies or a world is not only dangerous – it is also matrix and we could make our decision what feels like floodwater. It isn't too for new buildings. That’s why Paris is sojourn the papers report on two young group of urban defectors? illegal and has been since 1955. to power-on, or chicken-out after the first cold and not unpleasant, but we’ve got counted as among the most low-lying males who had got lost down there for Over the coming weeks I am A week later, Tom and I arrive in Paris hour and a half. miles ahead of us. Tunnels shoot off at capital cities. three days and were rescued by special introduced, via the internet, to a and make our way to the appointed café We had been told to bring hats, waders, all angles, adding to the very real fear, Refreshed and fascinated, with a police and dogs but with hypothermia. sympathetic and promising guide. We near a Metro station, somewhere in the torches, spare batteries and some light- that we are really in trouble if our trust certain trepidation we pack up our Yes, it is fun and fascinating and scary shall call him Jean Doe. He would help South East of the city. I must admit that waterproofs. Now we are advised to take is mislaid and it all goes wrong. chattels, scuttling off, splashing, wading and thrilling, but it is by no means a as much as he could but he stressed, that after a lunch at La Fontaine du Mars and care as it is slippery underfoot and to We reach a little chamber, the size of and skidding our way down man-sized leisure activity. You have been warned.

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beside a glacier. While not all of us like travelling in a large group, he points out THE WORLD'S MOST TRAVELLED MAN? that this has enabled him to fix things that would be impossible for individuals Richard Butler has circled the globe 26 times in his role as an expedition leader to arrange, such as a private view of Hagia for a tour company specialising in luxury holidays by private jet. So what's it like Sophia in Istanbul and an audience with to see the wonders of the world in supreme style, again and again? an Ashanti King in Ghana. Having seen the world multiple times WORDS BY NIGEL TISDALL is it getting better or worse? “It's just more difficult,” Richard sighs. Bureaucracy is a particular bugbear, and he rails against the fact that he recently had to make a special trip to London just to have his EXCEPTIONAL CYDER thumbprint registered for a Russian visa. “It only took three minutes but cost me a whole day!” Over the years he's witnessed crafted in Suffolk since 1728 how great destinations can come and go - Timbuktu and Libya are currently out of bounds, but then Tunisia and Iran are now back on the cards. Ulaanbaatar, the Mongolian capital, was once so naïve to tourism he'd bring towels and bathroom amenities for his guests, but today it's so developed “we've had to rethink our sightseeing”. If you're looking for somewhere that still feels truly exotic, Richard recommends Madagascar or Papua New Guinea, and TCS World Travel recently introduced more This autumn, TCS will be running a series of ‘Explorer Talks’ at Boisdale, inspired by its National Geographic intimate “Uncharted” tours with just 15 Private Jet Expeditions. For more information on attending these events please email: [email protected] to 20 guests that use smaller private jets to whizz around captivating regions like China, India or the Himalayas. ow here's a dream job. For the past from complimentary Bose head-sets, So what's it like, after touching down 17 years a tall, slim Englishman has to expert lecturers, an on-board doctor in so many amazing places, to then been regularly leaving his home and purses of local currency to spend at return to same-old Blighty? “I love it,” in the picturesque Somerset village of each destination. Richard responds emphatically. Driving Charlton Mackerel to make the sort of Such journeys of a lifetime don't back from Heathrow he always feels a ultra-luxurious, round-the-world journey come cheap – a classic, all-inclusive 24 buzz when passing Stonehenge, and he many of us can only fantasise about. day “Around the World” trip visiting loves walking the Jurassic Coast and When I ask Richard Butler how many nine countries costs from £65,000 per visiting the Somerset Levels with its countries he's visited he appears to have person – but then you are seeing the extraordinary starling murmurations. lost count, but then reckons it's “about very best of the planet with a maximum Fly-fishing is another favourite way to 130”. As well as this formidable tally, he's of ease. Everything is meticulously relax and every May his family have a also ticked off – repeatedly – numerous planned in advance by a battalion of multi-generational get-together on the top-of-the-bucket-list experiences across staff spearheaded by a multi-talented banks of the River Spey. the seven continents. expedition leader such as Richard. A life of fast-lane globe-trotting Exploring Machu Picchu, marvelling Group sizes range from 52 passengers for inevitably brings its personal challenges. at the enigmatic moai of Easter Island, tours in association with Four Seasons Amanda, his wife, is also an expedition trekking to see mountain gorillas in Hotels & Resorts or up to 80 for more leader, which necessitates plenty of Rwanda – it's all in a day's work for adventurous and fast-paced expeditions. diary-juggling with their two young Richard thanks to his enviable position The majority of guests are from the US, children – this year they're facing a three as a leader of global private jet tours and with many travellers having won their month stretch in which they'll only see expeditions for the Seattle and London- wealth through nothing more than hard each other for a week. When one of them based company, TCS World Travel. graft or a long stint at the work force. drops the kids off at school, other parents Founded in 1991, TCS has since taken With expectations sky-high, Richard invariably ask where's they've just been its privileged clients on over 250 high- really does have a whole world of “but you can't really reel off a list of ten class circumnavigations using a custom- problems to deal with. One minute countries...”. It's clear that while there's configured Boeing 757, equipped with he's getting everyone through airport a great big fascinating world out there, plentiful champagne and Italian white security (“always wear slip-on shoes”), there's equally no place quite like home. leather seats. Blissfully ignoring the the next he's masterminding one of TCS “I do like mowing the lawn,” Richard routes of conventional carriers (Taj World Travel's trademark moments of admits with a grin, “and having friends Mahal to the Serengeti is typical), these “surprise and delight”, such as a descent round for a barbecue”. From the steppes go-as-we-please odysseys effortlessly by skydivers into the Namibian desert of Mongolia, to grilling sausages in the drop into the world's most iconic sights to deliver champagne or an impromptu garden… now that really is coming accompanied by all manner of treats landing in Greenland for a barbecue down to earth with a banger. ASPALL.CO.UK @ASPALL FB/ASPALLUK 60 61 Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10 Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10

LIFESTYLE IWC PILOT’S WATCH MARK XVIII EDITION A TIME FOR HEROES “TRIBUTE TO MARK XI” It is the definitive example of the military wristwatch: the Classic military watches of yesteryear provide endless inspiration for today’s watchmakers. timepiece made by IWC Schaffhausen for the RAF in the years We pick the best of this year’s crop of timepieces fit for the battlefield. following World War II, which would remain in service for over 30 years. Known simply as the Mark 11, an MOD designation, WORDS BY TIMOTHY BARBER its navigatory purposes required it to be exceedingly accurate and reliable in any conditions. Eventually dumped into army surplus stores in the 1980s, it would go on to inspire an ZENITH PILOT CRONOMETRO evolving series of “Mark” pilot’s watches – we’re now up to TIOP CP-2 the seventh version, Mark XVIII that inspired an entire genre in modern luxury watches. It’s hard to think that a watch that made for the Italian Air Force of the 1960s ever saw much in the way of action, but This limited edition version of the Mark XVIII is particularly that doesn’t take away from the fact that the model known special, however, since it takes the look of the watch right as the Zenith “Cairelli” (after the Roman distributor which back to the Mark 11 itself. It even features the anti-magnetic commissioned it from Zenith) was just about the most movement shielding that protected those original RAF watches handsome pilot’s chronograph ever made – in its way, a much from the effects of cockpit radar instruments, along with the more appropriate characteristic for an Italian watch than original hands and creamy luminescent markings for the sense getting stuck into combat missions. It has a timelessly elegant of vintage patina. It’s limited to 1,948 pieces, corresponding to quality that has seen collectors lusting voraciously after the Cost £3,790 the year of the Mark 11’s first appearance and, until October, few versions kicking around the vintage market, and recently www.iwc.com it’s exclusive to Harrods. Zenith revived it in a pleasingly faithful modern edition, called the Cronometro Tipo CP-2 after the military designation engraved on the original watches. BLANCPAIN TRIBUTE TO FIFTY FATHOMS MIL-SPEC Those originals were hand-wound, but the new version houses Zenith’s legendary automatic movement, the El Primero, a What you wouldn’t have wanted to see, were you a US Navy high-frequency calibre that’s one of the finest pieces of volume frogman engaged in underwater derring-do in the late 1950s or watchmaking you can find. Though the watch is slightly bigger ‘60s, was the little white-and-orange circle on the dial of your than the original, I’m pleased Zenith resisted the urge to whack Blancpain watch going all-orange. This would mean water had a date window on the dial (a weakness of nearly every modern got inside the watch; and given that a diver’s life depended on Cost £6,400 watch brand), keeping the purity of a truly classic design intact. accurate timing of the period spent at depth, that wouldn’t be www.zenith-watches.com a good thing.

It wasn’t likely to happen often, however. The Fifty Fathoms VERTEX M100 from Blancpain was the first modern watch designed for scuba divers, and a legendarily tough piece of kit adopted by US To collectors they’re known as the Dirty Dozen: the hard- combat divers in 1958. The water-tightness indicator was a wearing watches commissioned by the Ministry of Defence special function of “military specification” versions – such during World War II from twelve Swiss watchmakers, to rare models are now highly collectible, as you’d imagine. This furnish the wrists of British soldiers. Alongside such famous year it’s been brought back by Blancpain for this super-deluxe Cost £10,310 marques as Omega, Jaeger-LeCoultre and Longines, there and appealingly streamlined, tribute edition. www.blancpain.com were some more obscure names: Grana, Timor and Vertex. The latter, a British firm based in Hatton Garden, which imported its watches from Switzerland, vanished in 1972, BREMONT AIRCO MACH 1 but its Dirty Dozen entrant has now magically reappeared. At a decade or so old, British watchmaker Bremont can’t That’s due to the considerable efforts of Don Cochrane, claim any history of military watches, though flying-mad great-grandson of Vertex’s founder, who is reviving both the founder brothers Nick and Giles English have played their brand and its most famous creation – once again engineered part promoting the legacies of famous World War II aircraft, in Switzerland – with a novel strategy: you can only get a and the code-breaking work of Bletchley Park, through some watch on the invitation of Cochrane himself. With 60 initial sumptuous limited editions over the years. As such, they’re as watches going to his inner circle, from which the network of well placed as anyone to make a watch that has all the well- owners will then extend outwards, its effectively a private worn flavour of classic wartime pilot’s watches, and indeed members’ club in wristwatch form. If you want to own one, the Airco takes its name from the Aircraft Manufacturing time to get networking. Company, the British firm that built many of the planes flown on the Western Front a century ago. With a stepped steel case made Bremont’s factory near Silverstone, this has all the hallmarks of a true military flying watch.

Cost £2,500 Cost £2,895 www.vertex-watches.com www.bremont.com

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LIFESTYLE HMY BRITTANIA – PIER PRESSURE? Twenty years ago this year, the Royal Yacht Britannia was decommissioned after the government decided that public opinion would not support her continued costs or replacement. Michael Atkinson explores the phenominal role that HMY Britannia played in British diplomacy and trade and looks at whether Britannia should indeed be the last Royal Yacht flying the flag for Great Britain.

WORDS BY MICHAEL ATKINSON

HMY Britannia was unique in that her Commanding Officer was always a Flag Officer, generally a Rear Admiral (although the first two were Vice Admirals and the last a Commodore). Having such a high ranking Officer as HMY Britannia's 'Captain' reflected the gravitas of the duties he had to undertake. In this respect, all crew of 20 Officers and 220 Yachtsmen, were personally selected by the Commanding Officer.

I name this ship, Britannia. world for every year of her working life. men and women in history. Those that I wish success to her and all During that time she conducted 696 Royal enjoyed Britannia’s warm hospitality who sail in her". With those visits overseas and 272 in home waters, included US Presidents Ford, Carter, famous words, Britain's longest serving stopping in ports in 135 countries. Reagan, George Bush Snr and President monarch, Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth The largest yacht in the world at Clinton. From Sir Winston Churchill to II launched the Royal Yacht Britannia launch, she became globally recognized, Nelson Mandela to Baroness Thatcher on a wet April day in 1953. A bottle of Empire wine struck her bow, the thirty thousand strong crowds erupted in delight at her name, which had been The clocks on Britannia were finally stopped kept a closely guarded secret, and a band struck up with Rule Britannia. at precisely 15:01, the exact time the Queen Ship 691 waiting at the top of the was piped ashore for the very last time. slipway in John Brown’s Clydebank Shipyard in Glasgow would go on to serve as the Royal Yacht for forty four years, continuing a tradition of British her majestic beauty attracting thousands to Rajiv Gandhi, all spent time with The Royal Yachts that dates back to 1660 who flocked to see her arrive into ports Queen in the refined surroundings of and the reign of King Charles II. In all across the globe. Royal Yacht Britannia. total, the British Monarchy has had 83 To name the guests who were 2017 marks twenty years since Royal Yachts. fortunate enough to be entertained on Britannia’s decommissioning. 1997 saw Britannia travelled over a million her is to name an array of some of the her reign of the seas come to an end, miles, the equivalent of once around the world’s most powerful and influential relegated to her status now as one of

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Scotland’s leading tourist attractions, Family that resulted in her ultimate proud ambassador for Britain. She was a berthed in the Port of Leith in Edinburgh. demise after she became a political tool to nurture relations with the heads With Britannia’s decommissioning pawn in the 1990s. It was at this time of Commonwealth nations and other came the end of that long lineage of that discussion around the future of the foreign superpowers, as well as a location Royal Yachts, but more than the end of Royal Yacht Britannia began. It became for British trade delegations to entertain simply a historical tradition, it marked clear that the Royal Yacht would need to foreign investors. As an ambassador for the loss of a powerful tool in Britain’s undergo a significant refit or would need British business, promoting trade and trade and diplomatic armoury. Britannia to be replaced by a modern yacht. industry around the globe, the Overseas was much more than just a yacht for the As the political climate changed, Trade Board estimated that £3 billion personal pleasure of Britain’s Monarch – Royal Yacht Britannia began to play an was made for the British Exchequer as she was a positive global icon for Britain, increasingly high profile role in the run a result of commercial days on Britannia highlighting Britain’s place on the up to the 1997 General Election. between 1991 and 1995 alone. WE world stage. She was a vital diplomatic Estimates for an upgrade were put at She even played a key role in rescuing tool for Her Majesty’s government, as £17million with a replacement yacht over 1,000 people during a period of civil well as working as a critical means to costing up to £60million. With the unrest in South Yemen. Britannia was en TAKE secure trade investment for Britain from upgrade not a long term solution, Sir route to Australia, when the civil unrest overseas. She played all these roles, John Major’s Conservative Government flared up. Support was urgently needed played them well and more than earned announced that there would be no to rescue trapped foreign nationals. BIG the investment into her commissioning refit for Britannia, but subsequently Britannia held a unique diplomatic and upkeep. announced that if it was to be re-elected, status: a noncombatant Royal Navy Sit in Britannia’s top deck tea room it would build a new Royal Yacht, ship. On 17th January 1986, Britannia STEPS now and you can gaze out at a bleak funded from the public purse. dropped anchor and with a Union flag industrial harbour on one side or a car Public mood didn’t share the flying from each of her three masts, the park and shopping mall on the other. It Conservative Government’s enthusiasm yacht was floodlit from bow to stern. is a far cry from her glory days sailing for a new Royal Yacht. A wave Her iconic status meant no-one could TO the sometimes beautiful, sometimes of resentment against the British mistake who she was and her association with HM The Queen confirmed she was no threat to either side in the conflict. LEAVE That evening, the first of Britannia’s boats was lowered into the sea and The Overseas Trade Board estimated that sailed for South Yemen’s beaches. Over SMALL five days Britannia’s boats went back £3 billion was made as a result of commercial days and forth between the beaches and the on Britannia between 1991 and 1995. yacht, helping to rescue 1,068 people from 55 different nationalities caught in FOOTPRINTS the fierce conflict. Despite her role in British diplomacy FOR OVER 30 YEARS, our and trade, in October 1997, Royal Yacht family has been making great choppy waters across the oceans from 'establishment' was growing. Britannia Britannia left Portsmouth on a farewell wine. If there’s one thing we’ve Sydney to the Seychelles to Singapore to and the idea of a new Royal Yacht became tour around the United Kingdom. It the Solomon Islands. a symbol of the injustices of the British was a clockwise circumnavigation learned, it’s the better the soil, A visit to the Royal Yacht Britannia hierarchy of society. Much of the public of the Britain Isles and she called at the better the wine. So every viewed it as a lavish extravagance for our six major ports, including a return offers a rare glimpse into the personal day, we work to ensure the world of The Royal Family. It was a privileged tax-payer funded unelected to her birthplace in Glasgow, a city palace on the seas, but for the Royal head of state and her wider family. It was renowned for its shipbuilding industry. healthy future of the land all Family, Britannia was also a family seen as an inappropriate and distasteful Passing John Brown's Shipyard, around us – adopting clean home where they could relax away indulgence, an unwarranted gift to the Britannia gave a blast on her sirens, energy practices, ensuring from the constant glare of the media. Royal Family in modern times when an acknowledgement of where her biodiversity, and using 1/3 less Britannia provided some of their most many parts of the United Kingdom were distinguished career had started and in precious holiday times and memories. struggling to make ends meet. thanks to the yard which had proudly water than industry average. There was the annual Western Isles Eager to jump on any bandwagon that built her. The clocks on Britannia were tour of Scotland which often involved would lead them to power, the politics of finally stopped at precisely 15:01, the a stop off at the Castle of Mey to visit superficiality and short-term popularity exact time The Queen was piped ashore The Queen Mother and with her privacy took over and the Labour Party opposed for the very last time. and ability to sail to secluded locations; the plan for a new Royal Yacht. After the Following Brexit, calls have begun Britannia was the ideal honeymoon election, the new Labour Government for another Royal Yacht. Some latest retreat. She played that role on four confirmed in October 1997 that there estimates put costs at £100million, separate occasions, including in 1960 would be no replacement for Britannia. but viewed simply against its previous SUSTAINABILITY – That’s a Kendall-Jackson Family Value for Princess Margaret and Antony To end Britannia’s days due to this £3 billion in negotiated trade, not to Armstrong-Jones, for Princess Anne and public mood, is to do a gross injustice mention the plethora of other roles she To learn more visit: kj.com/sustainability Captain Mark Phillips in 1973, in 1981 to the role that Britannia played in plays, many believe it is an investment for the Prince and Princess of Wales and maintaining Britain’s status on the worth making. five years later, for Prince Andrew and world stage. The Royal Yacht was a Britannia may no longer sail as an

Sarah Ferguson. great British asset, with both diplomatic icon of the seas, but there is time for CA KJ17_53166 Santa Rosa, Winery, ©2017 Kendall-Jackson It was partly this image of Britannia and commercial value. She hosted another Royal Yacht to once again rule as simply a personal luxury for the Royal hundreds of State Visits and was a the waves.

66 Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10 Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10

LIFESTYLE

formal since the 60s, but I think the my money is being slowly lost by an ex- two harbingers of the demise of the tie army officer in a suit and tie. 100% SILK: THE TIE IS BACK! were Tony Blair and hip hop. Before Not all ties, however, are so TURNBULL & ASSER hip hop, even as recently as the 1980s, respectable. In the 70s the enormous Henry Jeffrey’s, author of “Empire of Booze: British history through pop singers, soul singers and the like kipper ties worn by Noddy Holder TIE GUIDE 2017 the bottom of a glass” argues the case for the traditional tie, in all its glory! used to dress up. I particularly liked from Slade parodied the sobriety one the funky stockbroker look worn by associates with tie-wearing. How you Boisdale Life turned to iconic gentleman's bespoke shirt and tie maker Turnbull WORDS BY HENRY JEFFERIES Alexander O’ Neal and Robert Palmer. wear your tie says a lot about you. & Asser, for some advice on ties for every occasion. Since the 1600s, gentlemen Hip hop stars who emerged in the late Schoolboys subvert the tie by wearing and women alike have adorned their necks with fabrics as a sign of nobility, form 80s, in contrast, wore baggy jeans, track theirs either very long or very short. and fashion. From the humble neck tie to bold ascots, these statements have been suits and trainers and the youth lost And if a tie says trust me then estate a ubiquitous sartorial accessory ever since. The question shouldn’t be ‘why we their tie-wearing role models. At the agents with their enormous Windsor should be wearing ties’, but rather, ‘how we should be wearing them?’ In today’s same time Tony Blair, the archetypal knots in shiny pink or silver say the age, one can go from smart to casual in a matter of moments (or meetings), which trendy vicar, ditched the tie in order to opposite. The Duke of Windsor never is why the versatility of the neck tie cannot and should not be underestimated. be down with kids. His official portrait actually tied his tie in a Windsor Here are three of our favourites, and how best to wear them. unveiled in 2008 was the first of a male knot. His were just made of very thick British prime minister without a tie. silk so he had a naturally large knot. Where Blair led Cameron followed. In From Russia with Love Bond has KNITTED TIES The Notting Hill set look was suit and his suspicions about a British agent white shirt worn without a tie, which because of his tie: "Bond mistrusted The term ‘smart casual’ has generally made them look like they’d always anyone who tied his tie with a Windsor confused people since its conception. just finished work, apt I suppose. Now knot. It showed too much vanity. It was How smart is too smart? How casual is John Bercow, the pint size Speaker of often the mark of a cad". The Windsor too casual? Our knitted ties find solid the House of Commons, has said that wearer turned out to be a Russian agent. common ground and can go either way ties and jackets are now no longer For me a tie should always be tied in depending on how you wear them and, mandatory in the chamber. a schoolboy knot, it should be silk, not importantly, where you wear them. Team The end of an era? Maybe. No one too thick and hang down to the belt, not a silk knitted tie with a crisp, white T&A wants to look like members of the inches below like Donald Trump. The dress shirt for a smart event, or opt for establishment, especially members right tie can lift an outfit. At Hodder a wool knitted tie with an Informalist of the establishment. People in most of the time I wore a rather shabby button down for dress codes on the easy- professions such as advertising would corduroy jacket but with a splendid Turnbull & Asser Purple Knitted Silk Tie £95.00 going side. not be seen dead in a suit and tie. You tie. A tie is one of the few ways that a Gabriel Macht, playing Harvey Specter in the hit television show Suits, always distinctively styled in single- often see them, middle-aged ad men, buttoned-up Englishman can express breasted, made-to-measure suits with peaked lapels, big-collared shirts and most importantly, Windsor- skateboarding down Charlotte Street in himself. I have a magnificent blue and PRINTED TIES knotted, navy grenadine silk ties! skinny jeans. At hangout for the self- red polka dot Chloe tie that belonged consciously creative, Shoreditch House, to my grandfather. He was a rather With a modern matte printed finish, they don’t allow ties but they have to forbidding figure, but that tie showed streamlined designs are smooth to owe my high-flying career in Ties don’t just look smart and mark allow in the suits to pay the bills for so that he had a playful side. That’s what touch, all-the-while allowing for a publishing to the tie. It was the the wearer out as someone professional; you have the peculiar sight of dozens of I love about ties, they are a way of pumped-up colour palette. They are early 00’s and I was a lowly PR they say to whoever you are dealing heavy-set, city types removing their ties dressing up, showing off and being a bit lighter in weight, particularly compared assistant at Hodder & Stoughton. I’d with that they are important. The tie as they go in. I fell foul of this rule one of dandy without looking like a ponce. to our Seven-Fold ties, making them been there for three years and I was has reigned triumphant since it evolved night but the manager later came over Ties tell a story. There are old boys ideal for warmer weather. They provide going nowhere. Senior editors would from the bowtie and the cravat in the and apologized; apparently the rule ties, regimental ties, livery ties and the perfect balance for gents that favour patronise me, journalists would ignore 19th century. wasn’t meant for people who can wear club ties. I know a few people who a relaxed style, whilst remaining formal. me and authors would look at me Everyone used to wear ties. The only a tie with panache. would kill to have an MCC tie. They Go for a smart blazer during the day, and askance wondering what happened time I saw my grandfather without a tie Some of the last tie bastions are not, can have sentimental value too. As fling it over the shoulder for the night. to that bright, efficient blonde who was when he was on the golf course. as you might think, in the traditional well as a number of my grandfather’s, I The Great Gatsby Pink Printed Silk Tie £125.00 used to do their publicity. Then one have an old Oratory tie that belonged to day on whim I decided to wear a tie a favourite uncle. As I didn’t go to the to the office. The effect was amazing: Oratory, I’m probably not supposed to WOVEN TIES within a couple of weeks I was invited If she plays with your tie, you’re probably in luck wear it but I haven’t been pulled up yet. to meetings because people were Finally there’s a secret about which The secret to a fine tie is the attention interested in my opinion, at parties while let’s not forget that a tie is custom designed the tieless are missing out on. Far from to detail. Hand-woven silk styles, people would assume that I was in for pulling you in for a kiss. making you look stuffy and pompous, crafted by skilled artisans and hand- charge and literary editors would seek women love them. She may not pick stitched with bonded thread, are almost me out saying that we should have up on an expensive watch, but I’ve lost indestructible. The jacquard weave adds lunch. In an industry as scruffy as count of the number of compliments a touch of sophistication without ever publishing, wearing a jacket and tie Now, however, it looks like the tie gentlemen’s clubs – many will allow that Chloe tie has received. If she plays going overboard. When you’re looking marked me down as someone important might be going the way of the hat or the you in wearing just a jacket – but in with your tie, you’re probably in luck to make a statement with a smarter outfit even if I wasn’t. Even better, some days codpiece, once mighty items of clothing the service industries. Waiters in smart while let’s not forget that a tie is custom choice, opt for a woven silk tie with a I’d wear a suit and tie for no reason at that disappeared almost overnight. restaurants wear ties as if to say that designed for pulling you in for a kiss. high-buttoned, single-breast waistcoat all and then smile mysteriously when Wear a proper hat such as a trilby today your pleasure is a serious business. Ties are sexy, dammit. We’d be mad as part of a three-piece suit. It a head- people asked if I had a job interview. and it just looks like an affectation. Try And a tie is still part of the uniform to let them go without a fight. So wear a The Great Gatsby Pink Printed Silk Tie £125.00 turner – to say the least. A year later I was put in charge of the wearing a codpiece to a job interview for professionals such as lawyers and tie, even in fact especially when it’s not literary imprint. It was all downhill and see how far you get. accountants. When I meet my fund necessary. You’ll be happier, wealthier www.turnbullandasser.co.uk from there. Clothes have been getting less manager, it’s reassuring to know that and sexier.

68 WE WANT TO HEAR YOUR OPINIONS AND COMMENTS – EMAIL THE EDITOR [email protected] Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10 Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10

LIFESTYLE IMAGE CONSCIOUS Michael Karam gets up close and personal with Leica and finds out just what all the fuss is about with the legendary camera marque

WORDS BY MICHAEL KARAM

hat do the picture of the Leica became the go-to camera for we haven’t looked back.” blazing Hindenberg airship; photojournalists, including arguably But ironically the buzz on Leica that Che Guevara photo and the most famous snapper of them all, Street is the rekindled love affair with the terrible “Napalm girl” image taken Henri Cartier Bresson, and the source of film, similar to the way audiophiles during the Vietnam War have in common? many of the iconic press images of the have gone back to vinyl. There is a real They were all taken with a Leica. 20th century.” resurgence in film photography at the Leica, the gold standard of Today, Leica is a euro 400 million moment and the price of pre-owned photographic equipment and the company. It is at the forefront of the film Leica’s have risen in the last year ground zero of the 35mm camera, the renewed interest in film photography, by over 50%. “People want the purity, prototype of which was invented by the but it is making sure it remains relevant and like the warmth one gets with engineer Oskar Barnak in 1914, one year with an eye-catching partnership with vinyl, there is a similar feeling about before Leica was founded by Ernst Leitz the Chinese mobile phone company something shot on film that you don’t and 11 years before it would appear for Huawei. There are also luxury product get on digital,” Jason explains. sale as the Leica 1 and changed how we collaborations with Hermes, Dupont But surely it must be hard to go back took pictures. and Master & Dynamics, to create to film when using a digital camera, one Up until that point, photography was pens lighters, headphones and bags can take a gazillion photos; choose the all about men – probably always men – and watches. Heward acknowledges one you want and dump the rest? With wearing a black cloak over their heads, these collaborations have helped film you had 36 or even 24 images and standing behind a wooden box, holding consolidate Leica’s reputation as a that was that? “If you think about it, a flash and demanding their subjects to forward thinking company. when you had a film camera, when you hold it for 20 seconds. “There’s something special about this went out with your 36 images, you knew “Photography was a very static brand,” Jason enthuses. Everyone wants you had a limited number of photos pastime,” explains Jason Heward, to work with us. We’re over 100 years you could take and so you would be Leica’s UK managing director, “but old but we’re still fresh and modern and very careful about what you shot and it Barnack took a strip of vertical cine because we’re not mass we can come up became something a bit more precious,” film and made a camera into which that with some fairly left of field ideas. For says Jason. “You would think a bit more strip was fed horizontally and could example, we make a digital camera that about the composition and you’d put a create a 35mm image, which is still the doesn’t have a screen so you are back lot more into it. Film made you better basic benchmark even in digital.” to the feeling and discipline of film. It’s photographer. Let’s face it, digital can Crucially, the new camera was also very purist. We also make a black and make people a bit lazy.” portable. It meant you could go to white only camera. We couldn’t do this But it’s still an overwhelmingly digital where the action was. “The Hindenberg stuff if we were a mass manufacturer.” world and Leica has ensured it remains relevant in today’s almost irresistible smart phone culture. “If we did resist it, it would’ve been exit stage left,” admits The only surviving model of a Leica Luxus Jason, who explains that one of the ways Leica has muscled its way into everyday II camera is gold-plated and encased in life was its 2016 collaboration with the lizard skin, it sold for well over £1M but its Chinese firm Huawei to create the P9 smartphone, which touted its innovative whereabouts remains unknown. dual-lens camera as one of its selling points. “We created the first mobile phone camera that can create depth of field,” says Jason. was recorded on a Leica camera,” But it was never always thus. The But who wooed whom? “Leica had says Heward, sitting in the company’s company has had its ups and downs, had conversations with quite a few offices just off Berkley Square. “The not entirely knowing how to come to phone manufacturers, all of whom are other photographers with their wooden terms with the full force of the digital looking for a unique selling point with boxes and cowls had taken their pic age. “There a time when things looked their handsets but we felt that with and had all packed up but one had the a bit shaky? We were slow to embrace Huawei our values were more or less new Leica, so for him ‘packing up’ was technology and even ten to 15 years ago aligned,” Jason explains. “They will putting it in his pocket. He just pulled it we were reluctant to move to digital admit that one of the top reasons people out and took the image.” and it could have been very different buy their phone is the Leica camera. From then on, events could be but when Andreas Kaufmann bought It’s helped us think about the future recorded as they happened. It was the company in 2004, he knew what of photography and keep us ahead of the invention of photojournalism. needed to be done. We went digital and the curve. We could have been quite

70 71 Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10 Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10

LIFESTYLE RANALD IN JAMAICA Our Editor & Chief has a love affair in Jamaica and considers its history and reputation, whilst having an exceedingly good time

WORDS BY RANALD MACDONALD

Boisdale Life’s camera of choice, the Leica Q (Typ 116) a beautiful high-end, fixed-lens compact camera with a 24MP full-frame sensor and a 28mm F1.7 Summilux stabilized lens

Luddite about the whole thing but we modes. Essentially, it’s a professional’s says there are a few secretive collectors Ranald and Kate's view from their cushioned bamboo seats rafting down the Rio Grande, near Port Antonio. This was made popular by Errol Flynn in the 1950s, are now introducing Leica to a new tool that functions really well on auto. out there who have some pre-production who would regularly hold glamorous parties with all the guests drifting down in convoy together. generation of young photographers who You get that beautiful Leica image that lenses that few people have yet seen. may not necessarily have got to hear before the Q you had to go to the totally “There’s an only surviving model of a about us because we are quite a small manual the M system, to achieve. And Leica Luxus II camera is gold-plated and amaica is bewilderingly beautiful the Port Antonio World Marlin Fishing disappointment. Managing expectations company compared to the Japanese then there are the lenses, arguably the encased in lizard skin, that last one of and is, contrary to contemporary Competition in 2010 where I learnt to is my normal game and leaves the giants, so anything that has a halo effect best in the world. Indeed, Leica lens only four made. It sold for well over £1M popular perception, incredibly drink large quantities of Appleton rum recipient of one’s enthusiasm with the for our brand is good and it positions that were made 50 or 60 years ago but its whereabouts remains unknown.” friendly and safe. In fact I would be hard and Red Stripe beer at sea whilst playing opportunity for a personal journey of the brand in the place where we want are still sourced all over the world by But at the end of the day, it is really pressed to say which is more completely incredibly competitive dominoes with discovery. Anyway irrespectively I it to be which is if you’re serious about collectors. Quite simply they can create all about the image. Leica is passionate charming the landscape or the people. Butch’s Jamaican friends. With totally simply just couldn’t wait to show Kate creativity and photography.” Certainly during my limited travels in impassive poker faces they would slap Port Antonio and my opportunity was The M may be the classic Leica camera, Jamaica, which have included some the dominoes down so hard on the table soon about to materialise. beloved of the purists but the current rather more obscure parts of the island, that it soon resembled the surface of Kate and I flew into Montego Bay with must-have model is the Q. Launched in Leica has muscled its way into everyday life with I never felt remotely threatened. This hammer hewn pewter vessel completely Virgin and for the first two days stayed 2015, the Q is essentially a point and is corroborated by all of those I have covered in tiny little nicks. This was at The Royal Caribbean Sandals resort shoot camera but with the ability to go its 2016 collaboration with the Chinese firm met, who know Jamaica far better than an impressive skill to master and the which is only 20 minutes from the airport. manual if the desire takes you. “People Huwawei to create the P9 smartphone, which I. The idea that Jamaica specifically is a inability to do so well resulted in the Our accommodation was an unbelievable wanted a compact camera that was at the dangerous place is terribly misleading, pieces being scattered all over the table Tahiti style bungalow, literally built premium end of the market, something touted its innovative dual-lens camera as one of although obviously one has to take care and floor, much to the feigned chagrin over the sea, with its own infinity pool, that would shoot at full frame with its selling points. as one would in any Caribbean or Latin of the other players. Most memorably on spa, hammock for two, and glass floor the quality of a system camera,” Jason American country or indeed anywhere in this trip I fell head over heels in love with through which we were able to observe explains. “Up until the launch of the Q the world. Much of this unfair reputation Port Antonio and for the next seven years the abundant marine life. This was pure there had never been a compact camera from which Jamaica suffers is due to the I repeatedly regaled Kate, and whoever pampered luxury and the perfect way to that delivered that kind of quality.” the most amazing image quality that about sponsoring photography awards, drug wars in Trench Town Kingston, else I had the opportunity to bore, with relax after a long flight before embarking Leica lent me a Q to take on my a modern lens just can’t deliver. The working with the very best photographers which first of all have dramatically the extraordinary splendour of this on an adventure. We had our own highly travels to Beirut and the Outer Hebrides. lenses that were made for the original and showcasing their work at the nine decreased and secondly have hardly ever natural paradise of untouched verdant attentive uniformed Butler, called Ian, It’s incredibly accessible, but it’s also M model that was launched in 1955 can Leica galleries around the world. As involved tourists. coastal rain forest with perfect beaches and mobiles with which to contact him. very complex machine and much still be used on today’s camera. Jason points out “the image really is This excursion to Jamaica with my and sea, in the foothills of the majestic One felt sheepishly guilty, but anything the same with most quality cameras, Is there a Leica out there that the the most important thing. Photography wife Kate was my second visit. I had had Blue Mountains. Bigging something up, you wanted, where ever you wanted it, you can go to manual and control the Leica Museum in Wetzlar, Germany shapes culture and being part of that the pleasure of being the guest (without the degree to which I did, is a high risk was his pleasure, so to speak! We tried creativity so it gives you the best of both would like to get its hands on? Jason makes it is a huge honour.” Kate) of the legendary Butch Stewart for business if you want to avoid causing not to abuse it, but did get quite lazy and

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slipped into some bad habits. The hardest thing to resolve each day was deciding at what time we would have our first cocktail! Unfortunately we didn’t show much will power. The food was simply superb and the choice across five different restaurants staggering. Incidentally the all-inclusive house wines, Champagne and spirits were eminently drinkable. For pure unadulterated luxury it is a great way to start a fortnight in Jamaica and some would perhaps look no further for a life time! After a delicious lunch at the Jerk Shack on the third day we embarked for our five hour drive to Port Antonio along the scenic coastal road. Now Montego Bay is absolutely lovely and compares very favourably with any part of the Caribbean, but it has to be said that the closer we got to Port Antonio the more lush (no we weren’t drinking on the journey!) and verdant the landscape became as the Blue Mountains rose towards us. It was also clear that the amount of tourism declined dramatically from Ocho Rios onwards. As we approached Port Antonio the sun sank over the horizon and a blanket of complete darkness descended upon us revealing a brilliant starry sky as we climbed the foothills to our next place of stay. A very brief history of Port Antonio and the stories of others who have Clockwise (L-R): The view from Ranald and Kate's bedroom window at Panorama; Fisherman on the Rio Grande; Ranald enthusiastically extolling the virtues succumbed to its magic are fascinating Randolph Hearst, JP Morgan and Rudyard skin with a Marlboro Red hanging from of Blackwell's Rum at Strawberry Hill Hotel, Kingston; Kate in Billy's Boston Beach Grill renowned as the birth place of jerk; Port Antonio Harbour; Belinda and I think construct a poignant Kipling became regular visitors. However her lips requesting an urgent tonic with preparing the sensational lunch on the Rio Grande background to the continuation of my it was short lived. A combination of a large dose of gin. We had a marvellous story. The Caribbean including Jamaica banana crop failures, the great depression dinner and she very generously told us until the mid-19th Century was known and the final blow of the New Montego all the stories we wanted to hear about Khan, who bought her a coastal estate Antonio is unspoilt and underdeveloped nature trekking, and dramatic waterfalls in North America and Europe and as the Bay Airport opening in the 1950s, moved the glory days of Port Antonio and of overlooking her ex-husband on Pellew and has retained a lovely atmosphere of to see etc.), but with our private beach and “white man’s grave”, but by the turn of the tourism capital of Jamaica from Port course her Errol. She left us, after a good Island. Nothing more was reported of gentle faded grandeur. the stunning aquamarine sea we weren’t the century the fatal tropical diseases, Antonio to Montego Bay. quantity of wine was enjoyed by all, just the panther, but many stories abound Now back to us. Kate and I arrived that adventurous. A particular highlight that had either deterred or killed visitors, Despite this a new glamorous era was before midnight saying she had to leave about Nina! Over the next two decades that night to the gorgeous house we had though was again the quality of the food. had been overcome by modern medicine. about to begin for Port Antonio. In 1948 early as she had to be up at 5.00am to the ridiculously rich and famous rented called Panorama. This had been This is true of Jamaica as a whole, but The tourism that followed was literally Errol Flynn one of Hollywood’s greatest feed her cattle! She was one hell of a lady. gathered around Port Antonio and even the home of Rita Hayworth in the 1950s Port Antonio was no exception. We ate built on the back of the banana trade as global celebrities fell in love with Jamaica A massive treat to meet and astonishingly Princess Margaret, Winston Churchill, and is situated on top of a hill at around in small local restaurants (Geejams with 84 years old! live music, Soldier Camp Bar & Grill This story about a quasi “ménage a and Wilkes stood out as being the best) quatre” also paints a beguiling picture and in Panorama, our house chef Jamie, The hardest thing to resolve each day was deciding and reflects the powerful allure of Port The idea that Jamaica specifically, is a was amazing and the local seafood was Antonio. Nina Dyer was born out of exceptional. My favourite day’s activity at what time we would have our first cocktail. wedlock to an Indian mother and an dangerous place, is terribly misleading. was rafting down the Rio Grande River unknown father and became the most through virgin rain forest. This was made sought after international model of her popular by Errol Flynn in the 1950s time. In 1953 Baron Hans Thyssen, one when he and socialite friends would steam ships transporting bananas to New describing it as, “More beautiful than of the richest men in the world, to whom Iain Fleming and the Beatles made their 2000 ft above sea level over-looking the have large parties punting down the river York began taking passengers. At that any woman.” He was also incidentally she was mistress, relented to her fervently way there! Those glory days are now Port Antonio coast. The next morning we in convoy. It is an utterly enchanting time there were more weekly sailings truly captivated by the people and after repeated requests and bought her Pellew long gone and tourists are few are far woke early. I was full of trepidation and experience drifting down the river with from Port Antonio than Liverpool and he married Patrice Wymore in 1952 he Island in Port Antonio. She had wanted between. This is principally because the we immediately went out barefoot into a glass of chilled wine and a good Cuban the journey time to New York was only bought a cattle ranch near Port Antonio the island for her pet panther, a gift from world has opened up to more convenient the garden to take in the view. Kate was cigar. The titillation of alarm when we five days. With a reputation that rapidly and put it right back on the map. I had the her previous boy-friend Prince Ranier tourism and there is still no international initially and very uncharacteristically hit the rapids, skilfully negotiated by our spread of its unsurpassed beauty and the exceptional privilege of meeting Patrice III of Monaco. She married Thyssen and airport in Port Antonio. Having said uncommunicative. I thought something punt man, was exciting and swimming restorative health giving virtues of the Flynn. She joined Peter McKay and I they made a home on Pellew Island, that it is only a 3 hours gorgeous drive was wrong. She then turned to me with in the cool clean green river water water and atmosphere for invalids, the for dinner at the Geejam Hotel’s lovely which became the Baron’s favourite of from Kingston over the Blue Mountains a smile and said, “Nothing you have totally exhilarating. The highlight was golden age for Port Antonio developed in restaurant near Port Antonio in 2010. his six homes. She then divorced him or now with improved roads a 5 hour said has prepared me for this!” We had stopping off at Bellinda’s for lunch. She the early 20th century. Magnificent hotels She had driven through a savage tropical after 12 months, converted to Islam, drive from Montego Bay. But because of a wonderful few days. What to report? has a ramshackle home-made out-door and houses were built and the likes of storm to join us and arrived soaked to the and married Prince Saddrrundin Aga its somewhat inconvenient location, Port There’s plenty to do (big game fishing, charcoal stove on the river bank from

74 WE WANT TO HEAR YOUR OPINIONS AND COMMENTS – EMAIL THE EDITOR [email protected] Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10

which she produces heavenly food. We to visit the capital of this great country: to you is that Jamaica is a beautiful ate just caught enormous river cray fish it tells so many stories. Kingston is country full of amazing people that is followed by a sublime goat curry. bustling, colourful and full of life and there to be explored and enjoyed as a Canary Wharf l Belgravia l Bishopsgate l Mayfair After six magnificent days in has many delightful restaurants and bars tranquil adventure of both the senses Port Antonia we drove across the of which my favourite is the Redbones and the mind. Blue Mountains to Kingston. It is a Blues Cafe, which serves great Caribbean spellbinding road journey through fusion food and has fantastic live reggae, THE OUTRAGEOUS WINE SALE impenetrable rainforest that lifts you soul and blues every night and is quite BEST PLACES TO STAY up above the clouds through steep similar in a way to Boisdale. A visit to IN JAMAICA sided gorges covered in dense tropical Bob Marley’s home was inspiring and vegetation, teaming with life and the tour of the once no-go areas of Trench Montego Bay ONLY AVAILABLE AT BOISDALE colour. When we descended the other Town was a fascinating and surprisingly Sandals Royal Caribbean side, Kingston is laid out for you on a warm experience. My number one venue Luxury Resort Boisdale 1er Cru - Blanc de Noirs NV fringed carpet of green reaching to the though was the Kingston Dub Club in www.sandals.co.uk £22.75 glittering sea. There is nowhere better to the hills overlooking the City where per bottle Georges Gardet, Chigny-les-Roses, Reims, France view this scene than Chris Blackwell’s bowel shifting reggae is performed and Port Antonio A classic Blanc de Noir: 50% Premier Cru Pinot Noir & 50% beautiful hotel retreat Strawberry Hill. It played to a friendly, extremely relaxed, Geejam Hotel Premier Cru Pinot Meunier with a minimum of six years average is absolutely stunning and, in the nicest Rastafarian crowd who mostly appeared www.geejamhotel.com bottle age. The result is a complex, elegant Champagne of real possible way, is like staying at the home to be in a state of sublime meditation, or the Panorama distinction. of a cherished, rather grand, distant no doubt assisted by the sweet smelling www.panoramaja.com relation. Fabulously romantic rooms, ganja that mingled with the evening (private house with staff) wonderful staff, delicious food and breeze. There is nothing like enough £9.75 Boisdale Sauvignon Blanc 2013 per bottle one of the finest views in Jamaica make room in this article to describe all that Kingston Château de Sours, AC Bordeaux, France a visit here a must if you are coming we did or how wonderful our trip was, Strawberry Hill Hotel to Kingston, and if you are coming to and there is still so much of Jamaica that www.strawberryhillhotel.com Aromas of honeysuckle & passion fruit dominate the Jamaica it would be a massive shame not I have not seen. My overriding message nose, with a fresh hint of grapefruit & lemon blossom on the palate.

JAMAICAN JERK Château Rahoul 2009 Ashborne 2010 £39.50 Graves, Bordeaux, France (magnums only) £23.15 Hemel-en-Aarde, South Africa Throughout the summer Boisdale has been celebrating Jamaican cuisine, on per magnum per bottle its Jamaican Garden Terrace in Canary Wharf. We have been using British free This is a very serious wine indeed, as anyone who From the maiden release in 2001, this benchmark range pork belly & chicken thighs served alongside Jamaican pineapple slaw and is a collector of fine wine will instantly recognise. wine has redefined South Africa’s own red grape a mango-chilli salsa. A great concentration of colour & fruit combined variety, Pinotage, with its classic, refined styling with plenty of supple tannins give this wine great and unique complex character. This is a wine WORDS BY ANDY ROSE, maturity & gravitas. This is now at a perfect stage unlike anything else, intense, rich and savoury EXECUTIVE CHEF, BOISDALE of maturity for drinking. with a beautiful underlying minerality.

THE BOISDALE JERK MANGO, CORIANDER, CHILLI SALSA Château Potensac 1997 Pomino Bianco DOC 2013 4 cloves garlic, roughly chopped 1 x pineapple peeled & small dice even the core £26.50 Cru Bourgeois, Médoc, France £10.95 Marchesi de’Frescobaldi, 50g piece fresh root ginger, roughly chopped 2 x large mangoes peeled and small dice per bottle per bottle 2 whole scotch bonnet chilli, chopped 100g caster sugar The 1997 vintage is perfect for those looking Toscana, Italy 2 tbsp chopped fresh thyme leaves 150g rice wine vinegar for a great value, fine Claret ready for drinking Incredibly elegant, delicate & totally charming 2 tsp coriander seeds 50g sherry vinegar now. Matured & mellowed, this is a marvellously blend of Chardonnay & Pinot Blanc from one 4 cloves 2 x red chillies deseeded & finely chopped expressive wine dominated by cigar box & cedar of the greatest wine makers of Tuscany: a real 1 tsp ground mixed spice 40g finely chopped ginger aromas which give way to supple blackberry discovery! 1 tsp curry powder 40g fish sauce (nam pla) nuances with a long & warming finish. Salt and freshly ground black pepper 100g lime juice 4 tbsp vegetable oil 40g chopped coriander 8 boneless chicken thighs or 800g of pork belly, Kendall-Jackson Vintners St Amour “Les Pierres” 2016 sliced into 4 equal pieces £22.75 £13.75 per bottle Reserve Chardonnay 2013 per bottle Domaine Pardon, Pardon et Fils, Method: Put all the ingredients except the chicken Method: Place the sugar, vinegars, ginger, red California, USA Beaujolais or pork, in a food processor and pulse to a rough chilli & pineapple in a pan and bring to the boil. Toasted oak with beautifully integrated tropical Many consider this the softest Beaujolais Cru. 4 paste. Rub the paste all over the meat. For best Simmer till the pineapple is just about cooked fruit flavours such as pineapple, mango & papaya months in oak certainly moves it in this direction results cook over a BBQ, however a hot over would & the liquid is reduced by 1/2. Add the diced explode in your mouth in the manner of a very as well as bringing greater complexity & structure. work just as well. BBQ the chicken or pork for 7-8 mango, fish sauce & lime juice and continue to minutes on both sides, or until golden-brown and cook until; soft and sticky then cool immediately serious smart aged Burgundy at three times the Always charming & aptly named for any cooked through. Serve immediately. Serves 4. Also then fold in the coriander when needed. price. celebration of affection! great served with pineapple slaw, warm corn flat breads & mango-chilli salsa. The prices for these wines are the best you will find in the UK. The wines are perfect and completely tried and tested. All the wines are mature vintages for optimal drinking now. Cases can be mixed. Delivery can be organised or wines collected from one of our restaurants. Please email your enquiry/order + telephone number to Lexie at 76 [email protected] who will telephone you to discuss your requirements.

BoisdaleLifeWineAdvertSept2017.indd 1 22/09/2017 17:32 Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10 Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10

FOOD AND DRINK FOOD AND DRINK

of their production to the soldiers at the front. This was very much enjoyed THE PLEASURE OF CALVADOS at the time but, when the survivors THE WORLD ACCORDING TO WILLIAM eventually returned to their homes, The legendary bon viveur Douglas Harrison explores the very seriously other than Normandy, this cheese could Incisive, irreverent, and not entirely relevant William Sitwell has a talent to amuse, delicious business of drinking calvados, which the New Yorker journalist not be found elsewhere in France. Such with his bleak Orwellian vision of British post-Brexit utopia A.J. Liebling described as “the best alcohol in the world!” was the demand for this war time staple that the Camembert producers started WORDS BY DOUGLAS HARRISON to “export” their wonderful cheese WORDS BY WILLIAM SITWELL and, very soon, it was to be found and enjoyed all around France. In true French style, after the e are being swamped in the cheese comes the dessert and this abyss of Brexit and the more is the opportunity for one of my all we struggle the deeper we sink. time favourites – Tarte Tatin. Nothing Rarely does a news bulletin pass without accompanies this dish better than a glass mention of it in some shape or form. It of old Calvados. The beautiful apple is in our newspapers, our magazines. flavours in both combine to produce It is across social media. Friends who something far greater than the sum of previously never ventured forth into the parts, something so harmonious and the political arena preach on Facebook. satisfying that it borders on the sensual – It is hideous and it is not a good way you just have to try this. to drown. Those who were in favour of Calvados makes its ultimate Brexit talk of sunny uplands. They seem appearance as the digestif to enjoy with not to worry about the path – or lack of – one’s coffee and, as it’s the grand finale, that will get us there. By some mysterious it has to be the grandest Calvados. For act of magic, a sturdy jetty will emerge. me, that means Le Secret, the creation of We will be lifted from the swamp and Lecompte Cellar Master Richard Prével. once on the steady boards will walk In 2008, he was tasked with creating the freely and gaily towards aforementioned ‘Calvados Royal’ now available at Boisdale of Canary Wharf www.boisdale.co.uk most extraordinary, the most perfect and uplands. Remainers, meanwhile, are the most complete Calvados ever made. determined that everything will end in During the course of this quest, he disaster. Down and down, deeper and he apples are now ripening flavours remain for you to savor and made an amazing discovery; he found deeper into the swelling, throttling mud beautifully in the Pays d’Auge of you’ll probably be amazed at just how several old barrels which had lain in we will descend. Nothing will save us, Normandy, to once again provide smooth and satisfying a drink this is. a corner of one of their cellars since there is no light. It’s over. Oblivion will a harvest of fine fruit, thereby ensuring On to Calvados with food where Maison Lecompte was founded in claim us. a continuation in the flow of delicious the first thing which always springs 1923. This timeless treasure provided And so the Brexit negotiations are an quality Calvados. In this issue of Boisdale to my mind is ‘Le Trou Normand’ – a the finishing touch to an already extraordinary game of blind hope versus Life I am concentrating on the pleasure centuries old tradition translated as, The exceptional blend and thus, after five blind panic. David Davis marches to of drinking Calvados and, believe me, Normandy Hole! It is a small tot of fine long years, Richard completed his task. Brussels and even though he is party to there are more ways to enjoy this nectar Calvados taken partway through a meal, All that remained was to hand fill the the most complicated talks, unravelling than simply sipping a glass after a meal. bringing two benefits to the diner: firstly, handmade crystal carafes which had years of deliberate bureaucratic barbed Let me begin with that most popular it aids the digestion of what has already been specially commissioned to hold wire, he sits at a table without even notes. first drink of any event, the Cocktail. been eaten; secondly, the greater benefit, this most precious of spirits; a fine ritual Now since few who voted had any Cocktail lists are very extensive these it sharpens the appetite for what is still to on which to conclude his unique task. clue about what they were voting for – days and an army of committed experts come. Hence the name... it creates a hole After such an achievement, one can only which is why referenda are an aberration toil away, forever creating new recipes. in the stomach for the next dishes to fill. ask Quo Vadis Calvados? (we vote in MPs to do the tedious micro- For some reason, Calvados has not If we continue with our Normandy- analysis of impossible-and-too-dull- figured highly in this activity but that is style dinner, Calvados can again make to-comprehend-legislation aided and changing! One good example of why, is a valuable contribution to the cheese BOISDALE abetted by civil servants) – our nation the “Calvados Royal”: course, particularly if serving the Coeur now needs clarity. And so here it comes, de Camembert au Calvados, aka Calva CALVADOS WEEK Sitwell’s Brexit Positioning Paper. It’s d’Auge. Tuesday 24th October a British Brexit, which means it’s hard; CALVADOS ROYAL The normal Camembert, made from Calavados Tasting in Belgravia 6pm rock solid in fact. • 3cl of Calvados Lecompte 5 years old pasteurized cow’s milk, has its rind Calvados Dinner in Mayfair 8pm • 2cl of Strawberry Liqueur delicately scraped off before being WINE (PART 1) • 10cl of Champagne (or sparkling wine) immersed in Calvados for between 3 and Wenesday 25th October No more French or indeed any 5 hours. After due soaking, it is coated Calvados Tasting in Bishopsgate 6pm foreign wine to be imported into the UK. In a coupe, strain the strawberry liqueur and with fresh breadcrumbs and walnuts to Calvados Dinner in Canary Wharf 8pm Climate change, which is not man but the Calvados. Complete with Champagne protect its new nutty, rich and intense insect made – mainly by wasps – has flavour. At this point, I would like to Richard Prével, Cellar Master of Lecompte created a marvellous environment for digress slightly to explain a little known will be presenting their entire range of English wine. This growing business Another option is the straightforward fact about Camembert. It was France’s Calvados and answering your questions. must be protected and encouraged. Any Calvados on the Rocks. Three or four first national cheese. If you would like more information please restaurant or pub caught serving non- cubes of ice and then simply pour in your During the First World War, email: [email protected] English wine (and that includes any Illustration by Jesse Brown @jessebevanbrown Calvados. You will find all the delightful Camembert producers donated a part Welsh, Scottish or Irish wine, which is

78 WE WANT TO HEAR YOUR OPINIONS AND COMMENTS – EMAIL THE EDITOR [email protected] Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10 Autumn 2017 BOISDALELIFE.COM Issue no.10

made by backward farmers who have imports of wine (see above), champagne for those rendered squiffy by 3pm and sex with animals) will be torched and will continue to flow across Britain at who need – for the good of the nation’s burnt to the ground. French people weddings, parties and at the races. Look productivity levels – forty winks before may not buy English wine (there’s not I’m all for bigging up English wine but they return to their desks / building sites enough of it) but good winemakers will there’s a limit, right?? / heavy machinery. be allowed to work on our vineyards. But they may not speak ill of it in BEER, CIDER AND SPIRITS COFFEE public. EG: statements such as ‘English All taxes on such drinks will be There are too many types of coffee sparkling wine shows great promise removed, unless you are foreign. available which confuses shoppers. but we need to add sugar to the 2017 Bartenders and publicans will be Some even claim to have been produced vintage due to a lack of sunshine in the charged with applying what will be under principles of Fair Trade. This is of no interest, neither is it of interest if percentages of revenues raised in the sale of coffee are used to build schools or hospitals in Africa. It’s not Post-Brexit there will be like this makes the stuff taste better, right? So the only coffee available will no more dairy intolerances. be instant, which is far easier to make and if you add enough milk and sugar you can’t taste it anyway, so what’s the point. Furthermore all mass brands of coffee shop will be banned: so no more August ripening period’ will result in a flat 30 per cent levy on the drinks. Starbucks, Costa and the like. Any small long jail terms. They will not ask for the purchaser’s independent coffee or tea shops can ID or passport but will merely form only serve tea and coffee, black or white WINE (PART 2) an opinion based on first impressions. or with sugar. No more froth, mocha, Wine is too complicated to ‘Right mate, you look foreign and you skinny or otherwise. understand. Grape varieties, terroir, sound a bit funny so that’ll be £8 for vintages, non-vintages, garage wines, that pint.’ TEA late-bottled disgorgements, organic, As above. Plus milk and two sugars natural… all these terms distract the RICE become mandatory. British from concentrating on what Rice, which is eaten only by matters – i.e. drinking. Post Brexit there foreigners, will no longer be imported MILK Illustration by Jesse Brown @jessebevanbrown will be only white wine and red wine. or available for sale in the UK. Anyone British milk from British cows who And port and sherry. The latter may caught eating rice will be snarled at and have eaten British grass will be the only only be served at room temperature. made to sign a declaration pledging to milk served. And that’s full fat also, no should include at least once a week, are out though. I mean enough’s WASTE In spite of the rules governing foreign only eat potatoes from then on. Given semi-skimmed. All non-dairy milks will black pudding and kidneys. Consumers enough, right? And no more sashimi. Waste is a huge problem to both the the large stocks of rice that will be in the be banned, so out goes almond, soya, oat are asked to dispose of all Dijon mustard. I mean who would eat raw fish and environment and our mental states. To UK on the date of Brexit, local councils and the like. Post-Brexit there will be no Colman’s only will be served. Croissants then call themselves British? combat waste all offers such as Buy-One- will hold amnesties. People can bring more dairy intolerances. will continue to be sold as they taste Get-One-Free will be banned. In a bid to their rice to central car parks where it nice and have loads of butter in them. SUPERMARKETS stop people buying unnecessary quantities can be unloaded and then flattened by CEREALS They are far too many supermarkets of food, ‘Fridge Police’ will inspect fridges steam rollers. All granolas will be cleared from OIL AND VINEGARS in Britain. Shopping needs to be and larders and instruct people on how supermarket shelves. Only mainstream In a major Brexit concession olive streamlined and made simpler (see to make soup before their food goes off. PILAU RICE cereals will be available; i.e. Shreddies, oil of all grades will continue to be above) so the Government will take These powers can be conferred onto Pilau rice is fine because you get it in Cornflakes, Weetabix. Special K imported and sold. Balsamic vinegar? over the selling of all household goods. housekeepers and cleaners, in the same curry houses which serve chicken tikka will remain in circulation pending a Forget it. All current supermarket brands will way that plumbers are Corgi-registered. masala which is a British dish and it decision from DEFRA. But since it has BTW junk mail will be banned also. works nicely to soak up the red sauce. (albeit disingenuous) associations with dieting – which is frankly un-British WATER DRIED FRUIT AND NUTS and therefore foreign – most likely it’ll All bottled water to be banned. And all Dried fruit and nuts must no longer be get the chop. In a major Brexit concession olive oil of all fizzy drinks except Coca Cola (Diet Coke consumed at the desks of office workers. grades will continue to be imported and sold. banned also) which will be rationed to Since there’s nothing wrong with a BREAKFAST two bottles (not cans) per week. good old fashioned Rich Tea biscuit, Avocadoes which are a metropolitan that’s what you can eat thank you very atrocity and are never ripe in time VEGETARIANS AND VEGANS much. And while we’re at it, no more anyway will be available in selected Banned, obviously. Neither should ‘grazing’ through the day. Post-Brexit supermarkets but are not to be eaten RESTAURANTS cease to exist, will merge and re-open anyone (i.e. children) feel compelled to Britain will be a country where meals at breakfast. Poached eggs may be All restaurants may continue to as VG stores. Bringing this solid, plain eat lettuce. are eaten at fixed hours. IE Breakfast consumed but cannot be topped with serve any variety of foreign food and straight-forward store will instil between 8.30 and 9.30, Lunch at 1pm, chilli flakes. While home cooks may although menus must be written in British gladness in all patriotic hearts. With these minor changes to our tea (now compulsory – for all citizens) make their own sourdough loaves, they English. For example none of this Furthermore there will be a set number daily eating and drinking routines we at 4.30-5pm, and dinner at 8pm. Diners are not to talk about it – sourdough and ‘hors d’oevres’ nonsense, they are of VG stores according to the size of can return to the era of post-war Britain at lunchtime will be encouraged to rye bread will no longer be available ‘starters’. Also all foreign menus the population. There will be no limit where nothing ever tasted of anything Illustration by Jesse Brown @jessebevanbrown drink and snoozing – whilst a filthy in shops. Breakfast should generally must offer chips as an option. Korean, on small businesses such as butchers, and neither did it need to and what’s Mediterranean habit – will be allowed consist of eggs, bacon, sausage and Taiwanese, Bulgarian and Norwegian fishmongers and bakeries. more there were far fewer fat people.

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LIFESTYLE www.spitfireale.co.uk /spitfireale SMOKIN’ HOT! It’s been another whirlwind summer and there’s already a hint of melancholic autumn in the air. Shrug it off with a good cigar, we say. Here’s our resident Cigar Guru Nick Hammond with some ideas

WORDS BY NICK HAMMOND CELEBRATED CONNOISSEUR AND SPECTATOR CIGAR WRITER OF THE YEAR 2013 GOLDEN ALE Tropical fruit, citrus

t’s great to see the coffers of the Boisdale The 100 point scoring system explained: & pine aromas SWEET MALT BASE humidor being stocked with more and more New World cigars these days, as 10 points for appearance Challenger, Centennial and Saaz hops well of course as plenty of Cuban delights. I’m 15 points for construction told there are several New World new lines – if 10 points for combustion SOFT BITTER FINISH 4.1% you get my drift – now available to Members 60 points for flavour and finish and I couldn’t be more delighted about that; 5 points for value for money I introduced many of them to our favourite Scottish haven myself! Davidoff Art Edition 2017 6 ins x 54 Ring Gauge TOTAL PTS 89 Alec Bradley Black Market Robusto RRP circa £35 5 ¼ ins x 52 Ring Gauge TOTAL PTS 88 Oh the Davidoff Art. The last couple of these RRP circa £16 have been nothing other than sublime – visit the If I’m not very much mistaken, I presented this Boisdale Life back issues in which I award them one to hardy ticketholders of a Boisdale Members my highest score of the year. One in particular tasting a couple of years back, on a bitterly cold was spectacular in the extreme – I smoked it Winter’s eve. The Boisdale terrace looking over with Hans-Kristian Hoejsgaard, Davidoff CEO, Cabot Square could have been staffed with on a Caribbean beach. So when I heard that dinner-jacketed penguins and they wouldn’t we were slated to receive a new Art Edition have looked out of place. But we soldiered on, version, it’s not too much of an exaggeration to as one must, and we tasted good warming rum say I jumped for joy. But then I was told it was and this dark little cigar from my friends at Alec no longer a magical perfecto shape, my delight Bradley. Honduran Jamastran and Panamanian was slightly dampened. It was to be a boring old fillers are under the hood, a glistening wrapper parejo – meaning straight-sided cigar. And then from Jalapa providing the alluring cloak. It’s I tasted it. It’s not that it’s bad – it’s just not as slightly sweet, with a hint of cream. good as the others. Yes, you can admire the lid, which is a piece of modern art you can remove Olive Serie V Melanio Figurado and place on your wall, should you wish, but 6 ins x 60 Ring Gauge TOTAL PTS 90 in terms of the cigar, it’s a disappointment in RRP £25 comparison to its predecessors. I’m not saying Any cigar lover worth his or her salt will salivate turn your nose up at it, given the opportunity at the appearance of a beloved doble figurado. to smoke one – just reach for one of the earlier It’s a big bold truncheon of a stick, starting with versions first. a tiny foot and opening up into all its glory at the fullest of its 60 Ring Gauge. Now under normal Rafael Gonzalez Lonsdale circumstances, that’s just too thick for my liking, 6 ½ ins x 42 Ring Gauge TOTAL PTS 90 but I’ll make a willing exception for the Melanio. RRP circa £30 where found It’s rich and intense, smooth as a silk stocking. I make no apologies for including this little beauty, even though the line is long Partagas Presidente discontinued; shame on you Habanos for this, I 6 ¼ ins x 47 Ring Gauge TOTAL PTS 91 say. It’s a glorious cigar, redolent of its time and RRP circa £20 was the first to be named Lonsdale – now it’s I’m not sure how this one passed me by, but referred to as a size in its own right, much like it did. When I was kindly gifted one the other the Churchill. Lord Lonsdale had them made for day by the ever general Sean Croley of Cuban him originally and so good and popular were cigar importers Hunters & Frankau, I looked they that they entered the mainstream. I picked at it blankly. A thin Partagas Doble Figurado? up one of the last production of these (they were Really? Since when? Since fairly recently in discontinued in 2006) and had the pleasure this country, apparently. After a supper of of enjoying it after many years of age. These oysters and confit duck (I couldn’t convince cigars always reminded me a tad of Autumn Sean to partake in the oysters, unfortunately) when they were still being made and they still we retreated to somewhere appropriate and do, although the flavours have rounded and if sparked up this gnarly little cigar. It was a anything, the mellowness is even more alluring. revelation – spicy and peppery and a tad unruly; Calming and comforting, pack one alongside it was all the better for it. Cracking cigar. your scarf for that woodland walk.

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