THURSDAY,Campus FEBRUARY 11, 2016 / VOLUME 143, ISSUE 4 Times SERVING THE UNIVERSITY OF ROCHESTER COMMUNITY SINCE 1873 / campustimes.org 5K Challenge Finds Basketball Beats the Buzzer Itself in Hot Water Risky Final Play Wins Game, Goes Viral BY RUAIRI CONWAY “I was so frustrated to find out CONTRIBUTING WRITER that hot water, commonly seen BY AMANDA MARQUEZ in China as well as many other Asian countries, is so rare here,” NEWS EDITOR she said. Hot water dispensaries will Yan emphasized the impor- be installed—likely soon— tance of hot water in Chinese throughout the River Campus culture, saying, “It is a built-in, Libraries, as the result of the ingrained practice in everyday winning proposal to the annual life.” Students’ Association (SA) Gov- She believes the significance of ernment 5K Challenge. Junior winning the 5K Challenge goes Chenchen Yan submitted the beyond the achievement of hot victorious proposal, crowned water dispensaries. last Friday, which called for hot “I regard my winning of the water dispensaries to be installed 5K Challenge not simply as the in all of the River Campus Li- growing favor of tea, but more braries to help studiers prepare significantly, a triumph of cul- tea, coffee, and the like. tural diversity on campus.” Since it began its challenge in Competing with the hot water dis- 2013, SA has allocated 5,000 pensers were a variety of unique pro- dollars each year to posals, which included put towards ideas swings on the Eastman students would like Quad, massage chairs, to see implemented plastic bag reduction,

PHOTO COURTESY OF UR ATHLETICS on campus. Submis- free tampons in non- Players from the UR Men’s Basketball team pile together in celebration after trumping UChicago. sions are made in residential bathrooms, the fall, and students vending machines in BY ANDREW LUCCHESI of a desperate, outstretched to take on the Bears. URWB vote throughout the Goergen Athletic Cen- CONTRIBUTING WRITER Chicago defender. The fade- was riding a 10-game winning semester on their ter selling workout sup- away shot arced out of the streak but fell heavily, scoring favorite one. Previ- RUAIRI CONWAY / plements, and a location A weekend of sweeping wins camera’s sight and dropped only 38 points to a stifling ous winners include CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHER to rent recreational win- from both UR Basketball teams cleanly in the bucket. WashU defense. printing at Wilson Chenchen Yan. ter gear, such as sleds. peaked with a buzzer-beating What ensued was an explo- This time around, the Commons, additional seating in When asked if she is happy basket from the men on Satur- sion of celebration from both Yellowjackets once again ITS and Gleason Library, and a with this year’s winning idea, day against UChicago, a spec- the players and fans alike. Like struggled out of the gate. smoothie bar at Connections. senior Amanda Pelisari said, “I tacular play that went viral on any great team celebration, it WashU brought a full-court When asked what motivated always felt bad bugging the peo- social media and sportscasts. culminated in a dog pile atop press that caught UR guards her to propose the idea, Yan re- ple at Connections for nothing (If you haven’t watched the the game’s last-second hero. on their heels, and Coach flected on the culture shock she more than hot water [because] clip, ranked second on Sports After losing a 15-point Scheible was forced to call experienced when she first ar- I never buy anything. So now Center’s “Top Ten Plays” on lead that eventually sent this an early timeout to regroup. rived to the U.S. SEE CHALLENGE PAGE 4 Monday, do so now. It’s worth game into OT, UR’s finish But URWB persisted, rally- the click and only 30 seconds ing around each other to long.) play some very impressive With two and seven- team-oriented basketball. Another Freaking tenths of a second left on Little by little, they the clock in overtime, junior clawed themselves back guard Sam Borst-Smith into contention. The ‘Jack- Car Commercial found himself at the free ets dominated late in the toothpaste, and maybe it’s because throw line with his team second half and were able BY SAM PASSANISI I’m from California, but that’s facing a two-point deficit. to clinch a 56–51 victory. SENIOR STAFF the kind of ad that works on me. After making the first On Sunday, URWB Once you’re in a properly cynical free throw, Borst-Smith PHOTO COURTESY OF UR ATHLETICS played smooth basketball I love Super Bowl commercials state of mind, it’s easy to dismiss Borst-Smith (left) and Montague (right). pinpointed a two-handed for three quarters and held because they add an interactive the ads that try to appeal to your line drive of perfect velocity a comfortable lead. But, when element to the holiday—if the desire to be cool or sexy, or to off of the rim’s front face. The was dramatic and surreal—a UR went deeper into their Super Bowl were Halloween, then drive a fast car. Those I can brush ball rebounded on a low loop, 77–76 victory. bench, a fire lit under the Super Bowl commercials would off in an instant. But an ad that just above the outstretched Adding to the Yellowjackets’ Chicago side. They pulled be trick-or-treating. The largest appeals to my better nature and arms of every defender lining success were the rest of the within seven points at one American corporations are knock- asks me to consider the future of the paint. In one fluid mo- weekend’s results. moment late in the fourth, ing on your door, only instead of the planet? Well, that’s harder to tion, with no second thought On Friday, the men’s team but a few clutch baskets by taking your candy, they’re trying shake off. There’s a place now in or hesitation, Borst-Smith (URBB) defeated WashU the Yellowjackets ultimately to sell you something. my bleeding, environmentalist caught the ball above his head 77–64 after shooting almost sealed the deal and put the At least they’re entertaining. Su- heart for a toothpaste company, and dished it out to his fellow 60 percent from the field in breaks on the comeback. per Bowl commercials are usually damn it. Chalk one up to Colgate. junior, sharpshooter Mack the first half. Freshman guard Both squads find themselves the best and funniest commercials Another ad I really liked was Montague. Jacob Wittig came up huge near the top of the UAA, due of the year, probably because the actress Helen Mirren’s commercial Montague read the situation for UR, draining five shots in large part to their strong stakes are so high. So, without for Budweiser, in which Mirren sits perfectly. He back-stepped to on nine attempts to total 14 weekend against their UAA further ado, here are the best of alone in a restaurant and delivers the left corner, behind where points, along with four assists. rivals. URWB is tied atop the the best. a diatribe against drunk drivers. the three-point line meets On the women’s side conference, while URBB sits My absolute favorite commer- Part public service announcement the baseline, and met Borst- (URWB), it was a story of one game behind 24-ranked cial, and the one I watched first, and part beer commercial, the ad Smith’s pass. redemption. A week prior to Emory. was the Colgate toothpaste ad. is honest, simple, and funny. (Best The crowd froze as he put up their victory over WashU, the Lucchesi is member of It was an ad for water conserva- line: “If your brain was donated a three-point shot in the face ‘Jackets travelled to St. Louis the Class of 2016. tion as much as it was an ad for SEE COMMERCIALS PAGE 12 INSIDE OIL PRICES: TAPINGO SUPERBOWL BASKETBALL DECEPTIVE? ON CAMPUS HALFTIME PHOTOS THIS CT PAGE 6 OPINIONS PAGE 7 FEATURES PAGE 12 A&E PAGE 14 SPORTS PAGE 2 / campustimes.org NEWS / THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2016 Marijuana Dispensary Opens in Rochester

BY RAAGA KANAKAM uid tinctures that are placed COPY EDITOR under the tongue. Many believe that other BY AMANDA MARQUEZ forms of treatment are just as NEWS EDITOR helpful and less dangerous, re- gardless of marijuana’s useful- Columbia Care, the United ness for patients with serious States’ largest medical marijua- illnesses. na company, opened its doors “There are a lot of addictive in Rochester late January with a drugs, and marijuana is one of location at the Eastman Build- them,” senior Hilba Zafar, an- ing Park on West Ridge Road. other pre-med student, said. UR students’ reactions to “[There] is very easy access, and its opening were diverse, with [it] can very easily be abused, some supporting the dispen- so I am just not a huge propo- PAMELA ORTEGO / NEWS EDITOR sary, others opposing the use of nent of it being used in a pro- medical marijuana, and many fessional setting.” PEP RALLY PUMPS STUDENTS FOR UR BASKETBALL indifferent. Other approved forms of Students congregate at the conclusion of this year’s Pep Rally prior to attending the Men’s and Women’s Basketball games. “I think it’s actually benefi- medical marijuana in New York cial for people who have chron- State include liquids and oils PUBLIC SAFETY UPDATE ic pain, since it’s a non-pre- for vaporization or administra- scription drug way to manage tion via an inhaler, and capsules Stranger Asks About Campus it,” senior and pre-med student taken orally. Smoking medical Greg Matos said. marijuana is illegal, so clinics FEB. 4, 11 A.M.—A student reported that a male had Sophomore Katie Hasselwan- do not offer smokeable forms. approached them at the Barnes & Noble bookstore in der agreed that the opening of a The new store is currently College Town. The male allegedly asked the student sev- 1 local dispensary is good thing, only open on Thursdays, and eral questions regarding specific areas of the University. citing her grandfather’s positive patients can be seen by ap- The immediate and surrounding areas were checked for experience with the drug when pointment only. the individual in question, yielding nothing. he had cancer. Patients are only allowed to Medical marijuana is cur- make appointments once they Backpack Stolen in GAC rently available by prescription are registered with the State. FEB. 4, 8-9 A.M.—A student’s backpack was stolen for patients with certain medi- Over 150 physicians have reg- from the first floor locker room in Goergen Athletic cal conditions, such as cancer, istered with the program in Center. The backpack had been left unsecured and seizures, or multiple sclerosis. Rochester alone. There is cur- unattended. Each dose costs about 95 cents, rently no public list of physi- and individual patients’ costs cians who are registered to pre- Panhandler Near ESM can range from 100 to 300 dol- scribe medical marijuana. lars per month, depending on The dispensary employs 20 FEB. 5—An individual was asking for money outside their needs. people for work in production the Eastman School of Music, and had entered the The dispensary offers “re- and consultation and will con- Main Hall. The unidentified person was last seen exit- ing Eastman and running into the East End garage. duced price programming” for tinue to interview more appli- patients who qualify, lessening cants as demand increases. the impact of insurance not Kanakam and Marquez Vehicle Broken Into covering medical marijuana. are members of FEB. 8, 7 A.M.-4 P.M.—A staff member reported that These doses are available as liq- the Class of 2017. their vehicle, parked in the College Town parking garage, 3 had been broken into. An alleged intruder had rifled 2 through the contents of the vehicle and stole twenty dol- lars from the center console. Officers found a broken MAP COURTESY OF UR COMMUNICATIONS window seal on the passenger’s side front door. The driver’s side front door had been pried open. Information provided by the Department of Public Safety. THIS WEEK ON CAMPUS WANT THURSDAY | FEBRUARY 11 SATURDAY | FEBRUARY 13

BIOLOGY DONUT TALK 19TH WARD ICE SKATING PARTY LANDER AUDITORIUM, 3:30-4:40 P.M. OFF CAMPUS, 1 P.M.-4 P.M. TO MAKE The biology department is sponsoring a talk on “the The Genesee Valley Sports Complex on Elmwood Circadian Clock and its Roles in the Aging Process,” Avenue, is hosting a day of family skating. Admission, given by Hao Duong of Harvard Medical School. skate rental, parking, food, and drinks are free for all ages. The event will also offer various forms of entertainment. HEADLINES?

LABRYINTH WALKS FIRE AND ICE INTERFAITH CHAPEL ROOM 100, 11:30 A.M.-2 P.M. COLLEGE TOWN, 3 P.M.-5 P.M. Participate in the labyrinth, a form of ancient spiritual The event will feature various ice sculptures and live walking meditation. The walk is free and open to all ice carving demonstrations. Insomnia Cookies will who wish to participate. provide fresh baked cookies to those who attend, while supplies last. JOIN THE FRIDAY | FEBRUARY 12 SUNDAY | FEBRUARY 14

CLUB ROCHESTER VARSITY SQUASH VS. U TORONTO CAMPUS WILSON COMMONS HIRST LOUNGE, 5 P.M.-5:45 P.M. ZORNOW COURTS, 1:30 P.M.-5:30 P.M. Enjoy free appetizers and low cost beverages with The ‘Jackets take on the Varsity Blues in squash on SOCA, the Student Organization for Caribbean Aware- Sunday night. ness, at their Caribbean-themed happy hour. TIMES

CELEBRATING THE LUNAR NEW YEAR WOMEN’S BASKETBALL VS. NYU HAWKINS CARLSON ROOM, 2 P.M.-3 P.M. GEORGEN PALESTRA, 2 P.M.-4 P.M. The River Campus Libraries’ URIC team will host a The varsity ‘Jackets take on the Violets in hoops on variety of lunar new year celebrations, showcasing Sunday night. CONTACT traditions from China, Hong Kong, Korea, Vietnam, and Taiwan. [email protected] FOR DETAILS If you are sponsoring an event that you wish to submit for the calendar, please email [email protected] by Monday evening with a brief summary, including the date, time, location, sponsor, and cost of admission. THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2016 / NEWS campustimes.org / PAGE 3 Spirit Week Highlights 2018 and 2019 Class Councils Organize Thirteenth Annual Spirit Week

BY PAMELA ORTEGO etry readings, and a screening NEWS EDITOR of Finding Nemo by the UR Cinema Group. To celebrate The thirteenth annual UR student life on campus, Blue Spirit Week presented students Crew co-sponsored a pep rally with myriad events and activi- in Hirst Lounge that featured ties last week, featuring both cheers, performances, and free food and giveaways. more giveaways. After the pep Planned and sponsored rally, students walked over to by the 2019 and 2018 Class Goergen Athletic Center to Councils, Spirit Week kicked support the men’s and women’s off with UR’s tunnel painting basketball teams. Over the tradition on Jan. 31. Armed weekend, the Strong Museum with bright blue and yellow of Play sold tickets at a two- paint, participents refreshed for-one price with college IDs. the tunnel walls. Following Spirit Week finished off on this event, students were Sunday with a Super Bowl able to pick up free goodies party, where students enjoyed in Hirst Lounge, including free pizza, wings, and other laptop stickers, lanyards, and snacks while watching the Insomnia-brand cookies. big game on a large projector Last Tuesday, “I ♥ Rochester screen set up in Hirst Lounge. Day” took place, an activity During the event, class council organized by the Offices of members handed out free note- Alumni Relations, Annual books and hats with the new Giving, and Stewardship. Class of 2019 logo designed Approximately 600 students by Frances McAfee. wrote thank-you notes to par- Freshman Mira Bodek de- ents, friends, alumni, and other scribed her enjoyment of the donors through the event and final event said, “It was really received free t-shirts for their nice to have all the students efforts. brought together.” / PHOTO EDITOR Spirit Week continued with Ortego is a member of Top: 2019 Class Council Advisor Heather Maclin fire up students with a speech. LEAH NASON an open mic karaoke night, po- the class of 2019. Bottom: Jackie Ibragimov’18 and George Frankle’17 cheer during the Spirit Week pep rally. Antiobiotic-Free Chicken Adopted

BY JASON ALTABET with additional standards, like searching for a way to source SENIOR STAFF being grass-fed, cage-free, or antibiotic-free chicken without minimally processed. compromising the quantity Antibiotic-free chicken will be “Six to seven years ago, we re- of chicken served on campus. the only chicken served at most ally started talking about what we Starting with vendors to fill campus dining locations by June, can do with produce, fruits and the variable demand of Meliora University officials announced on vegetables, but also what we could Catering, Dining Services lined Jan. 29, a move six years in the do with our proteins,” Director up suppliers, like Coleman, who making that will not raise prices of Campus Dining Services Cam could meet the demand for vari- for students this year. Schauf said. “We started looking ous parts of the dining ecosystem. The initiative, announced via at our options [...] and antibiotic- In August, Freshens phased in press release, will affect all on- free chicken was on the list.” antibiotic-free chicken, with the campus dining halls and stations The reasoning behind the new grill and salad bar in the Pit soon except the national brands Panda chicken was a combination, as following. At the time, Dining Express and Blimpie, although much back then as now, of sus- Services hadn’t announced their the school is in talks with the tainability and quality. “You’re goals to the students, not know- two companies to adopt the new not getting the exact same ing how completely they could policy. chicken raised in the exact same replace the then-current sources. Seventy percent of chicken circumstances, one with antibi- In November, the executive staff served on campus is currently otics and one without,” Schauf at Dining Services finally felt they compliant with the antibiotic- said.n taste tests, we can certainly would be able to implement a free chicken pledge, but that’s taste the difference.” full conversion to antibiotic-free not to say that there haven’t The current effort gained chicken and were nearly ready been complications. Already, strength after another sustain- to make that promise known to one of the school’s sources had ability and quality initiative, students and staff. to be swapped out due to quality grass-fed beef, took off two There are, however, caveats to concerns about chicken in Wilson years ago. At the time, Dining antibiotic-free chicken in general. Commons, a change that oc- turned its attention to sourcing Studies show it takes three to nine curred in the last couple of weeks. antibiotic-free chicken for River days longer to raise a chicken “We had a nugget and ten- Campus locations. Two events, to market size, when compared der we weren’t happy with a meeting with Congresswoman to those given daily antibiotics. that was antibiotic-free [...]and Louise Slaughter’s office in late Additionally, illness and other we’re sourcing a better product 2014 and Freshens’ own interest factors mean the mortality rate now,”Senior Executive Chef in antibiotic-free chicken, com- for chickens tends to increase at Antonio Pignagrande said. In the bined to push Dining Services farms raising chickens antibiotic- future, he said, “you may see some to make antibiotic-free chicken free. These two factors contribute juggling here and there because, across campus a reality as soon to significantly increase the cost again, this is a new product for as possible. of antibiotic-free chicken as com- all of us.” The main problem Dining Ser- pared to the current status quo. Antibiotic-free chicken, a vices needed to tackle was find- Despite this cost, however, movement that has been increas- ing vendors who could actually Dining Services promises there ing in scope over the last three supply the quantity of chicken will be no changes this year to years, refers to poultry raised at necessary to meet the roughly the prices students see in their farms that do not feed daily an- 278-ton yearly demand. dining plans, or at the Commons. tibiotics to their animals. Often, Last April, Dining turned to Altabet is a member of the chicken will also be raised vendors in New York and beyond, the Class of 2017. PAGE 4 / campustimes.org NEWS / THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2016 Celebrated Finance Figure Joins Economics Department

BY PAMELA ORTEGO the Minneapolis Federation, Kocherlakota shared his en- NEWS EDITOR thusiasm about joining the University faculty, as well as Narayana Kocherlakota, for his recognition. “I am President and CEO of the Min- truly honored to have been neapolis Federal Reserve Bank, selected to serve as the first officially joined the University Lionel McKenzie Professor of on Jan. 1, as the inaugural Lio- the University of Rochester,” nel W. McKenzie Professor of Kocherlakota wrote. “The Uni- Economics. versity has a long, rich academic Prior to his appointment history, with eight Nobel Prize at UR, Kocherlakota held professorships at institutions “The honor of including Northwestern Uni- having a position versity, the University of Iowa, after Lionel Stanford University, and the University of Minnesota. Ad- Mckenzie—one ditionally, he served on the Fed- of the great eral Open Market Committee economists of the (FOMC), the monetary poli- LEAH NASON / PHOTO EDITOR cymaking arm of the Federal Narayana Kocherlakota is the newest addition to the University’s economics department, returning to academia after a last century—was Reserve System. And, notably, decorated career in public finance. certainly another he led the Federal Reserve Bank nity,” Kocherlakota said of his theory, and later established New Dynamic Public Finance.” attraction of of Minneapolis for the past six decision to join the University. the Lionel W. McKenzie Pro- He was named one of the top years. Kocherlakota announced “It has a great department of fessorship. 100 Global Thinkers by For- coming here.” in late 2014 his decision to economics, generally, but it is Kocherlakota attended Princ- eign Policy magazine two years step down from the position especially strong in my field eton University for his un- later in 2012. winners among its faculty and to return to academia. of interest, which is macroeco- dergraduate studies, where he Kocherlakota will begin alumni, and I am excited to “I did a pretty extensive nomics. The honor of having obtained a bachelor’s degree in teaching an undergraduate become a member of such a search among possible institu- a position after Lionel Mcken- mathematics. He then received course in money and banking distinguished institution.” tions, and this one was just an zie—one of the great econo- a doctorate in economics from next year, along with a course Kocherlakota intends to con- mists of the last century—was the University of Chicago, and for graduate students. He is tinue to speak and write about “I am excited certainly another attraction of published over 30 empirical currently focusing on his re- economic policy as a professor to become a coming here.” and theoretical articles in aca- search. Since his work tends to at UR. “I love the Meliora slo- member of such UR’s doctoral program in demic journals. His published be abstract, Kocherlakota ex- gan,” he said. “I think it really economics was founded by Lio- work focuses mainly on mon- plained that he will reach out to just captures exactly how I want a distinguished nel McKenzie when he joined etary policy, business cycles, graduate students, rather than to think about my life and my institution.” the department in 1957. He and financial economics. In undergraduates, for internships research.” was one of the chief architects 2010, Princeton University in the future. Ortego is a member of incredibly attractive opportu- of modern general equilibrium Press published his book, “The In a statement released by the Class of 2019. 5K Challenge Declares a Winner KEEP UP WITH CHALLENGE FROM PAGE 1 ent venues on campus where you you’re telling me that the entire I can use all my instant coffee can get hot water if you need it five thousand dollars is going to guilt free.” for free. So why use the money be spent on hot water, then it’s Conversely, junior Joshua Gray towards something we already a no for me.” CURRENT EVENTS? wished that one of the other ideas have on campus when you can SA is awaiting the approval had won, because he believes make it more attractive?” of the proposal by the Dean of they’d bring a more “attractive The relatively large budget for a Libraries, Mary Ann Mavrinac, feel” to campus. small-scale proposal has received but is working to implement it “I think students would benefit some criticism from UR students. as soon as possible. from one of the other ideas more Senior Andrew Lam said, “It’s Conway and Marquez are WRITE FOR NEWS than hot water in the library, definitely not going to cost five members of because we already have differ- thousand dollars for hot water. If the Class of 2017. EMAIL [email protected]

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Visit campustimes.org. THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2016 campustimes.org / PAGE 5 OPINIONS EDITORIAL OBSERVER EDITORIAL BOARD Staying Healthy Yik Yak and Free Speech The Campus Times does not speech. based ban, on Yik Yak activity. support President Seligman’s de- But the recommendation was Unlike a Wi-Fi ban, a geofence on Campus cision to keep Yik Yak accessible not rooted in pragmatism. It is would block all access to the app on University Wi-Fi. The Presi- a gesture—a gesture to the mar- in a certain geographical area. Tips such as those are simply not dential Commission on Race ginalized groups on campus, to Yik Yak says that they will not helpful when the average student and Diversity’s recommendation future bigots and racist posters, geofence college campuses, al- has more work than they have to ban the anonymous social app and to the entire University com- though they have faced pressure time for, lives on campus, and has was a salient one, and was sup- munity. With a ban, Seligman nationwide to do just that. The to sleep on the university-stan- ported by 14 of the 17 members. would have better communi- company does, however, regu- dard hard mattresses. It shows We understand Seligman’s de- cated to these groups that the larly geofence high schools and that whoever writes these tips is cision. Free discourse should be University hears them, and that middle schools. out-of-touch with the very real protected—exalted, even—on a robust measures are being taken With a superficial ban on the BY RAAGA KANAKAM problems that students on this university campus. Further, ban- to improve the campus’ racial cli- app, the University would be campus face. ning the app from University mate. able to communicate its support COPY EDITOR In order to actually help stu- Wi-Fi would by no means cripple In fact, it is partly because the of minority students’ demands. dents, UHS could, for example, the app’s reach, as students could app’s ban on University Wi-Fi This decision might look—su- It’s difficult to be a healthy host a sleep tracking week. Stu- still access it using their service would not completely restrict ac- perficially—like a slight to free student on this campus. After dents could log on and simply providers’ networks. Nor would cess to students that we support speech, but students who cared 8 p.m., all the dining halls are track their sleep schedule for a it do much to solve the more in- that measure. Not on the table to use the app would still be able closed, which forces students week, helping them understand sidious problem of the ignorant for consideration was the nuclear to. As a gesture to the commu- who have any sort of obligations how to improve their sleep sched- attitudes that fuel unprotected option: a geofence, or a location- nity, a ban would go a long way. until then to settle for Pit or Hill- ule in unique ways. Abandon the side food. Neither have very nu- “8-9 hours a night” talk and in- tritious options, but what can the stead teach students how to nap EDITORIAL BOARD student do? With piles and piles or pull an all-nighter effectively. of work, it may be difficult to Students can use the weekend or find the time or energy to go to less hectic days to catch up on Comedy on Campus Goergen Athletic Center to work sleep. While it may sound back- When does comedy stop be- years prior, it is important to be of their autonomy as a perform- out, or to have a full night’s sleep. wards, this method would teach ing funny? socially conscious regarding the er. Newspapers do not share their As a student, it may be tempt- students how to efficiently man- After students heckled Dan performed material. The Univer- stories with the subjects thereof, ing to ignore your health; to sac- age an out-of-whack sleep sched- Viola, the Winterfest Weekend sity’s social climate has changed prior to publication. Similarly, rifice physical exercise or proper ule, rather than being told tips opening comedian, the Campus since 2013, and sensitivity—or we do not find it reasonable that sleep in order to get a mountain from a ten-second Google search. Times asked both the Campus lack thereof—to issues of iden- a comedian reveal their content of work done. Even when stu- In another example, the athletic Activities Board (CAB) and tity is tantamount to the humor, before a show. dents are aware of the benefits of center could host “sports learn- Viola whether the performance for many students. We do, however, believe that exercise and healthy eating, it be- ing” clinics, during which stu- material was vetted. We received At the same time, comedy is guest performers should be made comes easier and easier to choose dents could come in and learn a two different answers. about shock, misdirection, and aware of certain expectations on convenience over health. These sport that they might never have CAB said they try to vet some unexpected—often impolite— campus. Performances need to be are real problems that many stu- played before. A volleyball clinic of guests’ performance mate- turns. While the language we use respectful. Comedians gain repu- dents on campus face, but may could take 20 students an hour rial, but Viola said that, to his needs to be collegial, we believe tations as raunchy or clean com- not understand how to combat. and teach students the basics of knowledge, his material was that comedy should be given the ics, and institutions should make With this in mind, UR needs to volleyball, and perhaps even play not screened before the perfor- occasional pass. As many stu- hiring decisions based on those do more to encourage students to a game or two. This would al- mance. This discrepancy is un- dents pointed out, B. J. Novak, reputations. Viola is a clean com- work out and in general be more low students to indulge in sports satisfying, but a larger question in his Winterfest set, told jokes ic, and did not foresee his jokes active. UR needs to take a more without any commitments, and remains: Should material be that would have been (or were, falling flat as they did. If his ma- active role in helping students perhaps even become friends screened—and, if deemed un- to some) offensive—but he de- terial had truly been vetted, the become healthier. Giving generic with others interested in casually suitable for the audience—cen- constructed them. Because Viola entire incident may have been tips such as “Make sure to sleep playing the game. sored or omitted? failed to do so, he was deemed avoided—but there is a limit. 8 hours a day,” or “Sleep on a Enforcing broad, nonspecific Although there is hypocrisy insensitive and dissociated from Ultimately, humor trumps all comfortable mattress” is a pas- “tips” does nothing for students inherent in declining to invite a future campus events. else. If Viola’s jokes had landed sive role. Students glance at these at a competitive university in comedian back to campus who Screening a comedian’s mate- like Novak’s, this conversation tips and forget them faster than this day and age, be- performed a similar set two rial is, in some sense, a violation probably wouldn’t be happen- you can say, “I have 3 cause each students’ tests this situation is unique. week.” The above editorials are published with the consent of a majority of the editorial board: Aurek Ransom (Editor- By taking on this in-Chief), Justin Trombly (Managing Editor), Jesse Bernstein (Opinions Editor), and Angela Lai (Publisher). The active role, the Editor-in-Chief and the Editorial Board make themselves available to the UR community’s ideas and concerns. University would Email [email protected]. be investing more time in the well- ness of students and making sure Campus Times that they have SERVING THE UNIVERSITY OF ROCHESTER COMMUNITY SINCE 1873

access to real Wilson Commons 102 informa- University of Rochester, Rochester, NY 14627 tion Office: (585) 275-5942 / Fax: (585) 273-5303 that campustimes.org / [email protected] could EDITOR-IN-CHIEF AUREK RANSOM actually MANAGING EDITOR JUSTIN TROMBLY help them. NEWS EDITORS AMANDA MARQUEZ SPORTS EDITOR JACKIE POWELL Kanakam PAMELA ORTEGO LEAH NASON is a member PHOTO EDITOR OPINIONS EDITOR JESSE BERNSTEIN MIRA BODEK of the Class of PRESENTATION EDITORS A&E EDITOR SCOTT ABRAMS JAMIE RUDD 2017. FEATURES EDITORS CAROLINE CALLAHAN-FLOESER ONLINE EDITOR JUSTIN FRAUMENI SHAE RHINEHART COPY EDITORS ERIK CHIODO HUMOR EDITORS NATE KUHRT RAAGA KANAKAM SCOTT MISTLER-FERGUSON

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It is our policy to correct all erroneous information as quickly as possible. If you believe you have a correction, please email MORGAN MEHRING / ILLUSTRATION STAFF [email protected]. PAGE 6 / campustimes.org OPINIONS / THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2016 OP-ED OP-ED Shkreli’s Choice The Artificiality of Affordability BY MUHAMMAD HADI poster boy for pharmaceuti- BY JOHN CHTCHEKINE duction in order to prevent casualty: the state’s inability cal executives. the price of oil from crashing to continue to offer the same You’d expect a man with He is also in possession of Going on a road trip any- further. However, the Saudis social services it was able to a humble past (born to two an erratic and frustrating per- time soon? Well, why not? showed great foresight; they offer with oil profits has led poor immigrant parents) to sonality. His behavior, as he Oil prices right now are at a declined to cut production in Venezuelan citizens to vote have an ounce of decency and justifies it, is in response to 12-year low, with some states order to curb American shale out the existing government empathy, but no. the “bad boy” image he’s been boasting a gallon of gas for producers from simply resum- in frustration. Russia, another Martin Shkreli, also known crowned with by the media under $2! With the price of ing international oil sales once country whose internal budget as the “Pharma Bro,” had and the public. He seems to oil hovering at around $30 a prices normalized. The Saudis’ relies heavily on oil exporta- built himself a pharmaceuti- be saying that if the people barrel, consumers around the decision was also intended to tion, is a little more equipped cal empire, reigning as its evil think he’s a bad guy, he’ll just world are rejoicing at the bang disallow other producers from to deal with the budget con- head until the FBI arrested play along. During his most for their buck they’re getting eating up their market share straints it faces from cheap oil. him on charges of running recent public appearance— at the pump. However, ask once the Saudis cut produc- Conflict in Ukraine has led to a Ponzi scheme when he was an official audience with yourself; how did we get to the tion. With the cost per barrel a nationalistic fervor which the CEO of yet another firm, Congress—Shkreli refused to point we’re at today? What are for American shale producers has insulated the Russian gov- MSMB. Shkreli has had his answer most of the questions the forces at play here? Well, at just $60, the Saudis’ goal ernment from the expected in- fair share of business failures, he was asked, even smirking I’ll be examining that with you was to keep the price of oil low ternal strife a recession would but he also seems to have the when some of the members today and there is no short an- enough in order to promote normally cause. Time will be luck of the devil. Every time questioned him. Charming swer. bankruptcies among those the deciding factor in how another firm collapsed, he guy, I must confess. With the accelerating Chi- same high-cost American shale deep a geopolitical effect the bounced back up, starting a If Shkreli really wanted to nese economy in the early producers. low price of oil will have. The new hedge fund. Eventually, line the walls of his apart- 2000’s, oil steadily rose in The price of oil has has an good news is that road trips Shkreli realized that spinning ment with Picasso paintings, price in order to quench the array of implications that tran- will be a lot less expensive for a lie about creating drugs he would be more nonchalant thirst of the emerging manu- scend a random traveler being years to come. that could save dying babies about increasing the pricing facturing giant and its rapidly able to fill up his or her tank Chtchekine is a member of would be the best cover for of drugs. He would instead evolving middle class. This rise more cheaply. Oil producers the Class of 2016. his addiction to a certain increase the prices slowly but in the price of oil had coun- around the world that rely Founding Father’s face in surely, like absolutely every tries with abundant—yet hard heavily on oil exports have felt green. other pharmaceutical firm. to reach—oil reservoirs lick- the impact in the drop Shkreli is, for starters, all He believes what he did is ing their chops as the rising of the price of oil. about the money. In numer- right, claiming that his prices oil prices enabled exploration Hugo Chavez’s ous interviews, he has ex- will harm greedy insurance of oil fields via new extraction Venezuelan re- plicitly stated his desire to companies and distributors methods. gime has argu- maximize profits. He admit- of Daraprim, rather than the The investment into the ex- ably become ted that the price hike for his individual patients. Perhaps ploration of these new fields the first drug, Daraprim, was done Shkreli is just delusional, and began paying off when the ex- in order to make up for the genuinely believes that he is traction of oil from these steep price he paid to pur- in the right. fields finally started to chase it—to hell with afford- He claims to be ripping off take place. Even with ability. And, not to restate market giants, saying that laws in place that the obvious, but he did raise he’ll offer the drug for free banned the export the price of an important to anyone who can’t afford of oil from the U.S., drug by 5,556 percent. Read- it. But let’s be real—what are this rise in supply— ers need to know that these the odds he will? coupled with a slow- practices existed long before Hadi is a member of down in Chinese Martin Shkreli became the the Class of 2019. GDP growth—even- tually took its toll on the price of oil. Beginning in mid- 2014, the price of oil Got opinions? began to plummet. Many expected that this dip in demand would spur Saudi Ara- bia and the Organiza- tion of Petroleum Exporting Coun- tries (OPEC) to cut pro- Of course you do.

Email [email protected] CHRIS SMITH / ILLUSTRATION STAFF

UR OPINION “HOW HAVE YOU BEEN TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THE UNSEASONABLY WARM WINTER?” BYJESSE BERNSTEIN & LEAH NASON OPINIONS EDITOR & PHOTO EDITOR

SEAN CORCORAN ‘18 AARON SMITH, ‘19 MACKENZIE STARK, ‘19 LINDSAY CURTIS, ‘16 JAMES JOHNSON II, ‘17 MICHAEL PEARSON, ‘19

“I’ve been running a lot” “I don’t have to wear as “I don’t” “I drove with the top “More trekking and “Going to see my friends many coats” down on my Jeep” exploration” more” THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2016 campustimes.org / PAGE 7 FEATURES ‘Deaf’ is Not a Bad Word BY RAAGA KANAKAM ing, too. But despite our gen- “I often wish people knew derful, for starters.” Others can your presence if they cannot COPY EDITOR erally welcoming atmosphere, that, even without knowing also use “mime writing, because understand what you are say- there still seems to be a stigma proper signs, simple gestures, deaf people usually have paper ing.” When he tells people that he attached to communicating or, if necessary, writing things and pen handy” he said. Stabbe listed things one could is deaf, Oliver Stabbe is called with these students. down is not as inconvenient as “That sidesteps a lot of frus- say that might offend a deaf a liar. That’s because people as- “Really, there seems to be an it may seem,” Davis said. tration on both ends, I think.” person. sume deaf persons can’t speak, embarrassment in communi- Deaf and hard-of-hearing Davis added, “I’d also say to One is: “Can I try on your and he can. cating with deaf people,” said students may still face discrimi- not feel embarrassed if you run hearing aids?” “The idea that deaf people sophomore into a deaf per- “You would not ask a person cannot speak is a very offensive Stephen Davis, son. Try to think who uses a wheelchair to just assumption,” the sophomore another deaf of it as a language said. Another time, a woman on student at UR. barrier, the same The city is home a plane asked him if his hearing This awk- with someone to an astounding loss was contagious. He sneezed wardness might who only speaks and said he didn’t know. arise because French.” 90,000 deaf people. Stabbe’s experiences speak non-deaf peo- Stabbe ad- to many of the misconcep- ple just don’t vised that those try it out, so please do not ask tions about deaf people and know how to communicat- me to try on my hearing aids,” the struggles they face—things do so without ing should not Stabbe said. commonly found right in possibly of- “make assump- Another: “You’re so good Rochester. fending some- tions about pref- at English/speaking for a deaf This city is home to an as- one. erences or abil- person!” If this is said to a deaf tounding 90,000 deaf people, “I guess they ity. If you have a person, Stabbe explained, the a significant slice of the more think address- question, ask. A speaker is implying that all deaf than 1.1 million national popu- ing my deafness moment of awk- people have poor English skills lation. The percentage of deaf is offensive, but wardness is ab- and are unintelligent or unable persons here is higher than the it really isn’t,” solutely worth it to learn.

Davis said. SHAELYN RHINEHART / FEATURES EDITOR if you are being “Everyone has their own ex- “The idea that deaf “It’s not a bad Freshmen Colleen Dunnlea and Colleen Stone practice signing. educated about periences and it is not your people cannot speak word, and deaf an important place to reduce them” he said. people don’t get upset about it. nation even with the resources topic.” It is important to remember is a very offensive Davis noted that the biggest that are currently available to Deaf or hard-of-hearing stu- that their disability does not assumption.” issue he’s had when commu- them. Stabbe said that “a pro- dents also face frustrations on hinder a deaf person’s ability to nicating with other students is fessor here at this university has their end when interacting with communicate with someone, national average, due in part to “their apprehension to commu- refused to comply with my in- others. “Sometimes people talk but just changes the way they RIT’s National Technical Insti- nicate at all.” class accommodations because” about you, maybe to a hear- communicate. As Davis put it, tute for the Deaf, the first tech- There are many misconcep- she didn’t like it. ing friend standing beside me, “we don’t see ourselves as dis- nological college in the world tions about how those who are On advice for those who want as if I’m not there,” Davis said. abled, so the awkwardness is created specifically for the deaf deaf or hard-of-hearing might to communicate with those that “That’s frustrating.” only one-sided.” and hard-of-hearing. At UR, interpret non-deaf students’ at- are deaf, he said that “coming Stabbe added, “Do not talk Kanakam is a member of many are deaf or hard-of-hear- tempts at communication. up with paper and a pen is won- about a deaf person who is in the class of 2017. The Trials of Tapingo A Tale of Two Transfers BY RAAGA KANAKAM ID check upon pickup, a student matic change,” she said. “Without BY NINA BOSE school transcript and SAT COPY EDITOR could snatch someone else’s stuff Tapingo, those customers would CONTRIBUTING WRITER or ACT score requirements. and no one would know. have likely come into the store Taschman explained that Tapingo, the app that lets you Student workers at Tapingo- anyway, and we’d have roughly Transfer students start high school experience is order meals from several dining eligible dining locations on cam- the same amount of orders.” their path toward attending Sophie Zhang poses on Gellert Hill in Budapest, Hungary, during her time abroad. locations on your phone and have pus have varying opinions of the She even notes a positive result UR much like prospective Compared to it available for pickup, has taken program. of the program, saying that “it freshmen—with an application some of the other campus by storm. Since its incep- “It’s a really good idea, and it helps people who don’t have time process. tion this past semester, many stu- works well, but sometimes it can to stand in long lines.” There are three basic parts, applications, the dents find it much easier to grab a get a little overwhelming for the The line can extend past the according to Admissions University of coffee from Starbucks or a Panda workers if it’s during the busy door in the morning hours in Counselor Zachary Taschman: Rochester had a Bowl from Panda Express in be- hours,” junior and Connections Starbucks. Having some of the first, a UR-specific application tween their hectic schedules, and employee Megan Lyons said. students that don’t have time to (aptly labeled “Part 1” on the simpler application not be forced to choose between “Then again, I know it’s nowhere stand in line order through Tap- University’s website); second, structure. long lines or hunger. near as crazy for us as it is for peo- ingo allows them to be in and out some form of a universal “Tapingo is good when I’m in much more quickly, while those college application (there’s less indicative of a student’s a time crunch between classes,” As there is no ID who do have time to stand in line just no escaping the Common predicted college performance junior Elisa Barton said. “I can check upon pickup, see no change. This management App, is there?); and third, as compared to… well, a order a coffee in advance and pick a student could may help make the line shorter, supplemental materials, such student’s college performance. it up and go to class. It’s really while Starbucks and other loca- as letters of recommendation Additionally, the essay convenient.” snatch someone tions manage approximately the and college or high school questions are, as Taschman Another Tapingo user, sopho- else’s stuff and no same demand, increasing speed of transcripts. said, more straightforward— more Christian Keenan, called one would know. service. But unlike the freshman typically some variant of why the app amazing.“Though it is Tapingo notes that there has application, the transfer a student would like to transfer not perfect, it truly does help been an increase in overall sales student application places to the University. with overall convenience,” he ple working at Starbucks.” and looks to add more locations Joshua Gray, a transfer said. “Because it is new, there are As there have not been addi- to its service, including Col- The transfer student studying political going to be some problems early tional hirings to deal with extra legetown dining locations, like science and economics, said on. Overall, it is one of the best demand from Tapingo users, din- Chipotle and Moe’s. As Tapingo student application that compared to some of the resources that Dining has.” ing may get much busier during continues to grow, it will hope- places significantly other applications he filed, Other students, though, have regular busy hours, with no extra fully take the increase in demand more emphasis on UR had a simpler application complained that the program hands to address with the addi- into consideration and hire more structure. The relatively quick encourages workers to prioritize tional orders. workers specifically designated for post-high school response time of the Office speed over customer service, and “I have only ever had a problem Tapingo orders, so that the stu- experiences. of Admissions regarding his erases the fact that there is a hu- with the wait, but that will hope- dent workers and students alike acceptance was one of the man on the other side of the fully be fixed,” Keenan said. will be satisfied. significantly more emphasis on reasons he ultimately accepted screen. Some have issues with the Senior Jennyfer Amaya thinks Kanakam is a member of post-high school experiences, the offer, alongside the Univer- lack of security—as there is no otherwise. “I don’t think it’s a dra- the class of 2017. frequently waiving the high SEE TRANSFER PAGE 9 PAGE 8 / campustimes.org FEATURES / THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2016 PUZZLES BY SAM PASSANISI ‘17 What’s Up with Winter? Crossword DIFFICULTY MEDIUM

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ACROSS DOWN 2. Judge of the comic book 1. Out of alignment

SHAELYN RHINEHART / FEATURES EDITOR future 3. Boldly do On a sunny February afternoon, the grass is still green on the Eastman Quad. 6. Street abbreviation 4. Most delicious number 8. Undead; or, _____ from 5. Teenaged and disgruntled BY CAITLIN DAVIE thoughts on the matter: “In a 2.3 event in 1998 and this year’s the grave 7. Good luck charm, perhaps CONTRIBUTING WRITER minute sense, it’s El Niño, which current figure is 2.0. Although it 11. Most famous marsupial, an amulet? is causing the warm air, but the has not yet overtaken the 1998 El probably 8. Dog breed with ferocious The lack of snow this season has reason it’s so extreme is because of Niño yet, the figure continues to 16. Book, magazine reputation stunned many who’ve become ac- global warming.” rise and many expect this to be component 9. Make a mess, with liquid customed to the tundra that is an Schell is partly accurate in her the strongest El Niño on record, 17. Well-spoken 10. Sports video game corp. average Rochester winter. Some short summary of the issue. It according to CNN. 18. This, and wisdom 12. Well-known, in the are thrilled at the mild tempera- may not be global warming that Whether global warming is the 19. Latin “and” manner of Biggie tures, while others miss the frozen is mostly to blame, but El Niño. reason behind the newly intensi- 20. Meaning “stone” 13. Quarterly men’s landscape they have come to ex- El Niño occurs every two to seven 22. Red party cup brand magazine, abbr. pect. But no matter who you talk years, with varying intensity. Ac- Whether global name 14. Working independently cording to NASA, “El Niños are 23. Missing, from the 15. Shaquille’s surname “It’s very nice to triggered when the steady, west- warming is the military 21. Yellowjacket’s cousin. If not worry about the ward-blowing trade winds in the reason behind the 24. Friendly greeting green, maybe heroic? Pacific weaken or even reverse newly intensified El 25. Chemical analysis, with 25. Ana __, of eponymous hellish winter you direction, triggering a dramatic magnets They Might Be Giants had last year.” warming of the upper ocean in Niños is unclear. 26. Horse/donkey hybrid song the central and eastern tropical 29. “American Gods” author 27. Opposite prefix to, everyone has an opinion on Pacific.” fied El Niños is unclear, although 30. Keeps falling on your 28. Tree featured in Le Petit this year’s unusual climate. The report continues to de- CNN reported that “super” El head Prince One student, freshman Saralin- scribe the event in more detail, Niños are more likely to occur 31. Just say this, to drugs 30. Reg. nurse da Schell, enjoys the lack of snow. stating that El Niño is also in- without an increase in the over- 32. North Texas city 32. Biblical poem Originally from Kentucky, she volved in environmental effects, all number of the phenomena.So 35. Unpopular Ford model 33. Offering to the poor enjoys not having to worry about globally. It has been implicated global warming may be affecting 37. Wager 34. Genre for 12 Down the cold this year. in heat waves, delayed monsoon the intensity of the annual phe- 38. Weapon, esp. for personal 36. Interwar aesthetic, Art “This is a very normal winter rains, sea level drops, coral bleach- nomena, not creating them. The defense ____ for me,” she said. “It’s very nice to ing, droughts, flooding, and re- severity of these El Niños may 40. Acid-base scale 39. Beer variety (abbr.) not worry about the hellish win- cord-breaking hurricane seasons, have disastrous effects, like those 42. Chlorine symbol 41. Copy machine ter you had last year.” all around the world. from 1997. 43. Swamp area manufacturing corp. Students from colder climates, One of the worst cases of El The more pleasant tempera- 45. Energy source of the 44. Windows 10; El Capitan; however, miss the snow. Fresh- Niño occurred in 1997, when it tures this winter may come with nuclear age Linux are examples man Alexander Zavriyev of Bos- caused devastating flooding in the a price. For the sake of regulating ton said, “I can’t even make a western United States, drought the Earth’s normal climate, next snowman this year, so I’m sad.” in Indonesia, as well as virus out- year we should all hope for the Many wonder about what breaks across Africa. According to heavy snow and below-freezing is causing this extreme shift in NBC News, the incident saw over temperatures that are expected Last Week’s Answers weather. Some believe global 45 billion dollars worth of damage and loved in Rochester. warming is to blameOthers and 23,000 casualties. The stron- Davie is a member of are dubious. Schell shared her gest El Niño recorded was the the class of 2019. A D R E D D P A

S T A R I S E N Intersexuality is Not a Disease K A N G A R O O P A G E E L O Q U E N T I S O

BY SIMRANJIT K. GREWAL make a male. Mainstream so- ambiguous genitalia. W I T T E T L I T H CONTRIBUTING WRITER ciety deems individuals to be There are situations like An- S O L O A A W O L Y O either male or female, with no drogen Insensitivity Syndrome Western society loves the idea options in between. (AIS), caused by a mutation in N M R M U L E B R of two; he and she, him and But one natural phenomena the AR gene, in which biologi- her. In reality, though, it’s not that disproves this belief is cally male persons—those with G A I M A N I B R A I N that simple. intersexuality. Research done XY chromosomes—develop Biological sex is our anatomy; by Planned Parenthood shows secondary female sex character- N O T P L A N O S E it includes our hormones, sex that as many as one in every istics. These people tend to grow R U E D S E L T B E T organs, and chromosomes. In 2000 people born in the U.S. up thinking they are like other society, sex determines whether are intersex. Intersex is the females until puberty occurs A S I D E A R M A N someone is female or male. A catch-all term for people who without menstruation. Many person born with two X chro- are born with congenital hor- women with AIS have vagina- P H P C L O B O G mosomes is biologically female. monal syndromes, “unusual” like openings and undescended P A T O M I C S One X and one Y chromosome sex chromosome makeups, and SEE INTERSEX PAGE 9 THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2016 / FEATURES campustimes.org / PAGE 9 Your Genitals are Your Own Transfer Tales

INTERSEX FROM PAGE 8 leads to meta-females. These fe- sexuality occurs in bees. Some- TRANSFER FROM PAGE 7 first week of classes. testicles. Another hormonal males have extremely long legs, times the bees are split down -sity’s respectable economics “It was stressful,” he said. condition, called Reifenstein slender torsos, and are fertile. the middle; other times, the rankings. And yet, worth it. The academic Syndrome, causes people to Most meta-females aren’t even genitalia is more ambiguous. UR’s open curriculum often atmosphere here strikes Ramos, have an array of different sex aware that their chromosomal Unfortunately, the Western draws transfer students, too. and he also is impressed by characteristics and gender iden- makeup is different from other world treats genital ambiguity Without general education how UR students constantly Accepting the offer tities. cis-women. The male equiva- requirements, transfer students is simply the very Other times, children are lent is “super-males” with XYY Some intersex people can sign up for courses that Many transfer born with sex chromosomes sex chromosomes. These men directly correlate with their beginning of the aren’t aware of students have yet beyond the usual XX and XY. are usually unaware of their majors and explore their transfer process. Two of the most common ways condition. They tend to be tall, their condition until passions and curiosities, all to find their niche in which these appear are Turn- slender, and poorly coordinated puberty. while preserving their ability outside of their but have no issue with fertility. to graduate on time. In fact, Unfortunately, the Some children may have am- like a disease. Many doctors according to Taschman, the orientation group. Western world treats biguous sexual organs, such as perform genital “correcting” or University may drop the a large clitoris or a small pe- “normalizing” surgeries on in- two-cluster requirement for take advantage of the many genital ambiguity nis. Some children are born tersex babies. The Intersex So- incoming juniors, provided areas of study at their disposal. like a disease. with both ovarian and tes- ciety of North America (ISNA) that the student has completed He went on to compare the ticular tissues. Some are born recommends against this social- at least two courses in each plethora of external academic er syndrome, a single X, and with clearly defined external ly-driven “solution,” which ac- area in which he or she is resources available to the Klinefelter’s Syndrome, XXY. genitalia. Internally, however, tually causes a lot of confusion, not majoring, to give transfer students at the University, With Turner’s, women suffer they might have the opposite. frustration, and body image is- students a level playing field. such as several hours worth of medical ailments and steriliza- Therefore, some intersex people sues in the “normalized” child. But accepting the offeroffice hours spread throughout tion but still live long, fulfilling aren’t aware of their condition ISNA instead suggests honest is just the beginning of the the week, study groups, and lives. Most men with Kline- until puberty. In other circum- conversations about sex, gen- process. Jordan Ramos, a CETL tutoring, to the limited felter’s won’t even realize they stances, intersexuality may not der, and medical history, and number of resources available have it until they’re checked for be discovered until autopsies waiting until the child can be Accepting the offer is to him at Monroe Community sperm production. Those with are performed. informed of their options be- College, where he transferred Klinefelter have little to no Intersexuality is also found in fore pursuing hormonal or sur- just the beginning. from. spermatogenesis, which can be gical options. ISNA takes the The consensus among trans- corrected for with testosterone One’s genitals are stance that one’s genitals are transfer student and biology fer students interviewed was shots. There are many other less primarily for one’s primarily for one’s own use, not major on a pre-med track, that UR students have been common and non-lethal chro- for the comfort of others. recalled a swarm of rapidfire friendly and welcoming. Many mosomal combinations that own use, not for the For more information or deadlines after he accepted his transfers students, though, cause a variety of ambiguous comfort of others. support regarding intersexual- offer—for things like health have yet to find a niche out- genitalia. ity, visit the Intersex Society of insurance, housing preference, side those they spent Orienta- A caveat to our usual male and other animal populations. Rob- North America online. and financial aid. He was still tion with. female dichotomy are the su- ert Minckley, Senior Lecturer Grewal is a member of in the process of completing Bose is a member of per sexes. There is XXX, which in Biology, explained that inter- the class of 2017. some of these forms during the the class of 2018. PAGE 10 / campustimes.org THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2016 HUMOR College Fails to Admit Applicants Poking Fun at the News

BY MIRA BODEK accepted.” Apparently, no one lar budget towards celebrating BY CHRIS HORGAN missing from the factory; one small PRESENTATION EDITOR stood out enough. King’s legacy and the hard work SENIOR STAFF worker. For the first time, the school of the admissions and financial 7. The Washington Post released The schools considered to will have an empty class for four aid officers. 1. 160,000 dollars worth of an article commenting that the be the best all have acceptance years, as the Class of 2020 has “Though there’s no incoming cheese was stolen from a semi- “Obama is a Muslim” theory is still rates in the single -digits. King no members. The school will class, it’s clear that we worked tractor trailer in Germantown, echoing in the Middle East. The University has taken the highly have empty freshman dormi- very hard and succeeded in Wisconsin. This was the second article also cites a 2014 poll that contested top spot, with a tories, empty introductory maintaining the reputation of cheese incident of the week, as just found that 54 percent of Repub- rate of zero percent for the courses, and empty seats for the school as an elite in- a few days previously, nearly 90,000 licans believed that Obama was a year of 2016. the 2020 graduation. stitution for dollars of Parmesan went missing. Muslim. I’ll take the conspiracy a The university, higher educa- Police believe the suspects to be step further. It’s funny, I’ve never known for its ex- tion,” the of- either a few scheming thieves…or met anyone with the name Barack, tremely competi- ficer said. “We one massive eight-hundred pound or Obama, and yet somehow our tive applicant pool, are very proud mouse. last two presidents have shared has no incoming of our high 2. After takeoff, a Chinese woman that name. Two presidents with freshman for this standards.” found that she was the only pas- similar names? Let me guess, our fall. Preoccupied The accep- senger on the plane. It was swell, next president’s last name will be with maintaining tance rates of until she realized that the pilots Clinton. the highly selective colleges are were missing as well. 8. A Domino’s delivery man admissions stan- highly scru- 3. McDonalds has decided to stabbed a customer after arguing dards of the school, tinized, as the replace toys in Happy Meals with over a late order delivery. After the the admissions prestige of a books. This proves that- the best way victim was seriously maimed and officers neglect- college is of- to make kids go out and exercise, is close to death, Domino’s sent out ed to accept any ten judged by to put a book in their Happy Meal. another large pizza to finish that applicants. its selectiv- 4. A new study suggests that one punk off for good. “We get so ity. Recently, in four people admit to drinking 9. A woman is demanding a many qualified ap- universities their own urine. The other three lifetime supply of Kit Kats after she plicants,” said King’s Dean of have been said they preferred someone else’s. found packages without the wafer

Admissions. “Turning down the The Office of Fi- NATE KUHRT / HUMOR EDITOR under fire for 5. A man legally named Beezow ingredient. As much as she wants majority is common.” nancial Aid was asked sending out nu- Doo-doo Zopittybop-bop-bop has some Kits Kats, she could really use He maintained that each de- what they plan to do with the merous letters urging students been accused of assaulting numer- a Snickers. nial is very difficult, but with freshman financial aid budget. to apply to the school, simply ous police officers. Born with the last 10. A poll found that just one in the number of applicants, it is An officer revealed how discus- to increase the number of ap- name Wilschke, Beezow changed four married couples kiss during necessary. He continued, “We sions suggested allocating the plicants in order to artificially his name—because he was tired of sex. Said the one upon reading the see a lot of perfect scores, a lot of funds to charities or reinvesting decrease the percentage ac- seeing it misspelled. results, “No, I said that I don’t kiss outstanding extracurriculars, a the money into the school, but cepted. 6. A missing cat was found 80 my partner during sex.” lot of international awards; you the office ultimately chose to Bodek is a member of pounds heavier after living for 14 Horgan is a member of need to really stand out to be dedicate the five- million- dol- the class of 2019. months in a pet food factory. Also the class of 2017. Toddler Detective, Chapter 3 Anywhere but Here BY JESSE BERNSTEIN Lappenschtein’s pants (it was Benny, “Hello, Charles. I’m upset. BY LEAH SCHWARTZ returning from Peru. OPINIONS EDITOR by the way). But never have I ever Do you want to know why? Ask me CONTRIBUTING WRITER Next are food pictures. Stu- had such difficulty trying to get to why.” dents bond over witty caption It’s been a week since I talked to the bottom of a case. I’m not used “Why are you upset, Scarlet?” A new club is forming on titles, such as “donut you wish Picket, and the trail has gone cold. to this failure. “I’m upset, Charles, because my campus to address the needs of you were here?” Others, so exas- I’ve been combing through my Scarlet catches my eye from across supposedly brilliant detective, to students returning from abroad, perated from being deprived of old contacts, trying to find some- whom I’m paying a pretty penny, who often feel alienated from the their abroad diet, were caught thing—anything—to grab onto. has yet to inspire the slightest bit of Rochester community. This club, trying to actually consume their Ronnie Caputo, a friend confidence in me.” aptly named “Anywhere Else, but phones. “You have not lived until from back in my heavy It’s true. The penny she gave Here” (AEBH), will meet every you have had the Indian food in Chuck-E-Cheese me is super shiny. But that’s Wednesday at 6:30 p.m. London,” explained senior Kelly days, had nothing besides the point. Junior Tori Richburg created Murphy. They say it’s better than for me. Sally “The “These things AEBH after returning from her the Indian food in, like, India.” Bib” Kowalski take time, Scarlet. Espe- semester in Cape Town, South The next hour is deemed the laughed in my cially with something as Africa. “Safrica totally changed “America Sucks, I’m So Done” face. Told me valuable as…” I look me and I think that I changed portion. “Racism just wasn’t that I might as around to make sure Safrica,” Tori said. “Things kind really a thing in Europe,” vented well try to find no one is listening to of stood still in Rochester while sophomore Joe Watson. “Black, her nose. Her our phone conver- I was having the adventure of white, fuchsia, aquamarine— uncle had taken sation. “Well, you a lifetime. No one here did they literally couldn’t care less it years ago, and know.” anything significant while I was over there.” Many students the search had “No, I don’t actu- gone and they just went about agreed that transportation, food, hardened her. She ally, because you’re the their normal lives. I felt like I and people were generally better was cruel now, for- detective and I’m the needed to surround myself with abroad. When asked for specifics ever unable to smell. I client. I need what I need, others who were going through of how a population in its entirety wouldn’t wish that upon Charles, and I came to you the same thing.” could be ranked as better than anyone. first because I wanted to find Wednesday meetings are di- another, club members suggested Recess at school. Scarlet is it legitimately. ButHowever, if vided into different activities that an outsider like me just standing on the opposite side of you can’t perform up to snuff, I may that allow students to talk about wouldn’t understand. the playroom, speaking animatedly have to explore some other options. their time away without being Finally, AEBH concludes its with her friend Samantha. My juicey Tick-tock, Charles. Are we clear?” ignored or getting an eyeroll. weekly meetings with a ceremo- SCOTT MISTLER-FERGUSON / HUMOR EDITOR is warm today, on account of a mis- “We’re clear, Scarlet.” The first hour is dedicated to nial chanting of “take me back,” placed icepack. And by misplaced, the room. She motions to the plas- “Good.” flipping through Instagram pic- uttered in a rhythmic moan. It’s I mean I thought it was a bath toy tic cell phone she has in her hand. We hang up our phones. Scarlet tures. Members are encouraged repeated enough times that the and then I flushed it down the toilet. “What?” I yell from across the room. gives me the side-eye to end all side- to start off with posts from the students hope that, when they These things happen. She rolls her eyes and then walks eyes, and then goes skipping—yes, tops of cliffs or mountains. The open their eyes, they find that I’ve had my fair share of cases over over to me, brushing off the orange skipping—back to Samantha. closer a selfie is taken to the edge they are, in fact, still abroad, the years. There was the Westbrook plastic chair with a limited edition I need to find something soon, or of a cliff, the more approval the and returning home was only dog abduction, the case of the mixed- Demi Lovato handkerchief before it could be my tushy. photo receives. a dream. color Play-Doh, and, of course, the she sits on it. She hands me a plastic Bernstein is a member of “I was literally on top of the Schwartz is a member of question of who pooped in Benny cell phone as well, and then dials. the class of 2018. world!” exclaimed a student the class of 2017. THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2016 campustimes.org / PAGE 11 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT with accolades, “Spotlight” is Journalism is the job for them, noticeably, almost intentionally, as evidenced by the late-night bland. The new editor-in-chief, pizza and early-morning coffee. Marty Baron (played with They work themselves to the restraint by Liev Schreiber), is bone, poring over spreadsheets almost clinical in his approach and tracking down sexual to the news. At his first predators, if only to strengthen production meeting, he calmly the impact and veracity of the affirms his decision to sue the story. When the payoff comes, Church. There are no fireworks there’s no grave-dancing—no or grand proclamations—just one’s happy to have exposed the the assuredness of a man who widespread crime perpetrated believes that he’s doing the by trusted religious figures. right thing. Schreiber plays “Spotlight” is about exposing Baron as the reserved outsider crimes of the Catholic Church, he was, which sets the tone for but it’s really about the ethical nearly every other character at pursuit of objective truth and the Globe. This seems to be the justice. point. As always, there’s been a lot The Spotlight team, headed of talk this awards season about by a razor-sharp Michael the fidelity films pay to the Keaton as editor Walter events they portray. Detractors “Robby” Robinson, rarely have taken issue with liberties expresses emotion in significant taken in “Bridge of Spies,”

LEAH NASON / PHOTO EDITOR ways. Rachel McAdams, Brian “The Big Short,” “Trumbo,” Sophomores Miilagros Luna and Thomas Pinella perform on the second floor of Morey Hall as part of “Music in the Tunnels.” d’Arcy James, and Mark Ruffalo and even this film, decrying make up the rest of the group, what they see as manipulation TUNNEL TUNES ADD COLOR TO CLASS COMMUTE and though each of them of the facts. The truth is that has to fight their own battles those criticisms are misguided. when it comes to investigating Film is art, not journalism, and something so heinously though there is a responsibility Oscar Series: ‘Spotlight’ personal and tragic, they’re all to stay truthful to the spirit of business when it comes to the the event, there is none to stick BY JESSE BERNSTEIN Catholic Church in and around to slip into moralizing hysteria. story. The blandness is what with every detail. “Spotlight” OPINIONS EDITOR Boston. It’s an explosive topic Films like “Truth,” “Rosewater,” gives the story its strength. manages to artfully handle the that requires a level head and “Concussion” get so caught The team members aren’t facts and the emotions of the “Spotlight,” the Oscar for both a journalist and a up in emphasizing the moral turned into crusaders, nor are story to create what is practically nominee from director Tom filmmaker. “Spotlight” succeeds superiority of the investigative they perfect people themselves. a documentary. Rather than McCarthy, tells the story of with both. journalists (or doctors, in the Ruffalo’s Michael Rezendes is getting drunk on its own anger, the Boston Globe’s Spotlight Movies about real-life case of “Concussion”) that their the hothead, but he’s also the “Spotlight” chooses clear-eyed investigative team, which investigations, especially actual messages get lost in the one combing through obscure sobriety. uncovered decades of sexual investigations into previously shuffle. court documents and banging Bernstein is a member of abuse and cover-ups by the impenetrable institutions, tend For a film that’s been showered on doors to get the facts. the Class of 2018. Institute for Popular Music’s 1970s Showcase Rocks

BY GRACIE PETERS senior Luke Metzler, of the CONTRIBUTING WRITER YellowJackets a cappella group, and junior John Queenan, It felt like some sort of of the After Hours a cappella “Gathering of the Cool Uncles,” group. Sophomore Jeremy Staffa with all the graying ponytails soloed excellently on the electric and beards in sight. But that might be expected at a concert I probably should celebrating 1970s progressive have brought rock. earplugs and The University’s Institute for Popular Music (IPM) held the sunglasses to the show because the As someone who music was quite grew up listening loud [...] and to rock music of the lights were the 1960s and sometimes blinding. 1980s, I definitely guitar. What’s a 1970s rock show enjoyed the show, without sick guitar solos? even though I am The musicians also incorporated not the expected the electric violin, the mandolin, a gong, and even a megaphone to demographic. add to the splendor, appeal, and concert on Saturday, at Strong entertainment of the show. In Auditorium. John Covach, hindsight, I probably should have brought earplugs and sunglasses director of the IPM and a PHOTO COURTESY OF KEITH BULLIS to the show because the music professor of music theory at Senior Luke Metzler sings with band “Going for the One” at the Insitute for Popular Music’s Progressive Rock concert. the Eastman School of Music, was quite loud (to be expected) emceed the event and played by Kansas, and, my personal scattered clumps of young, student body, several UR and the lights were sometimes guitar alongside both faculty favorite, “Money” by Pink classic-rock enthusiasts. As students, alumni, and even high blinding. and students. The backing band Floyd. someone who grew up listening school students also performed With superb vocal consisted of a few men who During the show, “Going for to rock music of the 1960s with “Going for the One.” One performances and top-notch called themselves “Going for the the One” also covered the likes through the 1980s, I definitely of the high school students variety, any baby boomers who One.” of King Crimson, Genesis, enjoyed the show, even looked young enough to have wanted to relive their teens The songs covered included Rush, and Boston. The audience though I am not the expected come straight from his bar through this performance “Aqualung” by Jethro Tull, primarily consisted of adults demographic. mitzvah, but his musicianship probably got what they wanted. “I’ve Seen All Good People” by aged 40 to 65—an age group To make the show more was impressive nonetheless. UR Peters is a member of Yes, “Point of Know Return” I generally fit in with—and approachable to the Rochester undergraduate singers included the Class of 2018. PAGE 12 / campustimes.org A&E / THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2016 Super Bowl Halftime Review Super Bowl BY SAAD USMANI the show began strangely— thinking back to this year’s especially the decision to have Super Bowl, it probably would SENIOR STAFF Commercials Delight it in broad daylight, which have been a better idea to keep It seems as if those who reduced the psychedelic and the announcement of Bruno COMMERCIALS FROM PAGE 1 hybrid, evidently CRISPR’d managed the Super Bowl colorful effect they were trying Mars and Beyoncé’s involvement to science, science would return into existence in a top-secret halftime show on Sunday to achieve—Bruno Mars and in the show a secret. Especially it.”) It might not do anything to Mountain Dew research facility. attended a dress rehearsal the Beyoncé certainly rejuvenated considering this was the fiftieth curb drunk driving, but at least They bill this as the best of night before and were unsettled my confidence that this show Super Bowl, it’s disappointing its heart was in the right place. three worlds, when, in fact, it’s once they realized it was wasn’t going to be a complete to see how by-the-books and With the exception of the the worst possible outcome: comprised mainly of Coldplay’s letdown. Even with their safe the NFL played. This was elusive environmentally- the sad homunculus has the Chris Martin jumping around support and energy throughout, by far one of the more forgetful conscious toothpaste distorted face of a pug, the the stage singing into a something just felt off—we had shows in recent times, like a commercial, I’m most partial terrifying upper body strength microphone. Of course, it seen this before. And, in fact, we sequel to a great halftime show to ads that make me laugh. of an ape, and the worst-in-class would then seem reasonable to just had Bruno Mars two years that no one really wanted. Steven Tyler was kind-of funny ambulatory skills of a human call their favorite superheroes ago, and Beyoncé three years To balance the act, I certainly in the ad for Skittles, in which infant. It’s stuff like this that to save the day—Beyoncé and ago, so it felt a little recycled. It appreciated Beyoncé’s racially- he coaches a larger-than-life really reaffirms my distaste for Bruno Mars. The act was so also nowhere near matched the charged message, and it was talking mosaic of himself (made the Mountain Dew brand. unbalanced that I would not be surprise and excitement when unique to see the burst of color out of Skittles, naturally) to There were several other surprised if that were actually Missy Elliot came on stage last engulfing the atmosphere. But sing higher and higher until it commercials I liked. For the sake true. year with Katy Perry. That was a I digress: The only reason the explodes. The ad itself is dumb, of conserving words and paper, Don’t get me wrong, I like strange but unique combination show was watchable was due to but I have to admit I laughed I won’t describe them here— Coldplay’s music, but the band that this year’s trio of Coldplay, Beyoncé and Bruno, rather than at Tyler’s line as he enters: “All they’re on YouTube, anyhow. itself is such a strange choice for Beyoncé, and Bruno Mars Coldplay, the headliners. Here’s right, let’s do this. I’ve got Before I wrap up, though, I’d one of the largest-viewed events couldn’t equal. hoping they were impressed minds to twist and values to like to give a dishonorable of the year—approximately Though last year we had enough by Lady Gaga’s warp.” mention to the one commercial 119 million people tuned in known that someone was performance of the Also funny was the I really hated. on Sunday night. For one, their going to collaborate National Anthem to commercial for Apartments. It’s hard to articulate why latest album certainly has that with Perry, we had let her perform at com, featuring Jeff Goldblum, I hated the Audi commercial pop music sort of flair, but their no idea who it the show next which starts out absurd and so much. Here’s the pitch: greatest hits are mellow, some would be. year. only gets stranger from there. An elderly astronaut, in his downright sad, which seems Now, Usmani is Goldblum, channelling Steve waning years, is losing his love uninviting to the beer-drinking, a member of Jobs, is hoisted into the sky of life. He’s not eating, and he’s sports-watching audience. the class of on a grand piano, playing and spending all his time hunched Second, compare the choice 2017. singing “Movin’ On Up.” At over in an armchair. Clearly, he to those of the past few the end of the one-minute needs an emotional boost—to years, where we had commercial, almost before you pep him up, his son hands him Katy Perry, Madonna, register what’s happening, we get the keys to an Audi. The Black Eyed Peas, to the top floor of the building, So what’s wrong with it? What and the returners where George Washington and I hate is this: The emotion of the in Beyoncé and Lil Wayne are grilling burgers ad, its bittersweet nostalgia, and Bruno Mars, and beans. Get it? Me neither, its charming message all feel like and you but I laughed anyway. they just rolled off an assembly really begin I’m always mildly impressed line. You can still read the serial to wonder by the polished absurdity of the numbers and see the scratches what the best television commercials. To where human feelings were NFL was catch viewers’ attention, an ad shoehorned into the corporate thinking. has to be wacky and loud; to fit cage. “Space,” the ad whispers Though into a 30- or 60-second spot, it to you, “the last frontier. We can has to be frantic and fast-paced; go there again. We can revive to sell the product, it has to be our flagging space program and familiar and bland. The best return to the stars.” Then, right Super Bowl ads balance these when it’s getting fun: “Made goals in a clever way. The worst you look! Stay here on Earth and the weirdest try to go for a instead, and buy an Audi. It’s touchdown on all three fields Almost As Good.” and end up creeping people But maybe I’m just mad out. For example, there’s the because it’s another freaking car Mountain Dew commercial commercial. featuring “Puppy Monkey Pasanissi is a member of Baby,” an unsettling genetic the Class of 2017.

CHRIS SMITH / CONTRIBUTING ILLUSTRATOR Like art? Like entertainment?

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Please. Contact [email protected]. THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2016 / A&E campustimes.org / PAGE 13

‘CHANNEL SURFING’ CT RECOMMENDS ‘Regular Cars’ for ‘TURBO KID’ BY MORGAN MEHRING Regular People CONTRIBUTING WRITER In this sense, “Regular Cars” reviews feel like something that’s been needed and missing for a long time in car discourse. A Consumer Reports write-up A nuclear war has decimated the planet. With clean water a scarce on the Dodge Avenger will say resource, one encampment relies on a supply controlled by one-eyed things along the lines of “Cheap Warlord Zeus and his BMX biker gang. As the water grows dirtier and BY JEFF HOWARD build, shoddy interior parts. the prices rise, a young scavenger and a water-hunting cowboy might be COLUMNIST This is a subpar vehicle on all the only hope for the last vestiges of humanity in a wasteland that looks levels.” Reviews like these are suspiciously like rural Quebec. “Regular Cars” is a YouTube satisfying in how they “shut- Expanded from a five-minute short pitched for the “ABCs of Death 2” channel run by a guy who test down” a vehicle, but they leave indie anthology of horror comedy, and funded entirely by an Indiegogo drives cars, videotapes himself so much to the imagination. project, “Turbo Kid” delivers all the camp of ‘80s eccentricity on a budget doing it, and then talks about What kind of parents must as desolate as its post-apocalyptic setting. The film, directed by François the car over the video. What someone have to have to Simard, Anouk Whissell, and Yoann-Karl Whissell, had a budget just appeals to me so much about purchase literally the worst car under 60,000 dollars and stars mainly newcomers. Munro Chambers, this YouTuber is that, as his title on the market, a car that even Laurence Leboeuf, and Aaron Jeffrey play the three central protagonists, implies, “Regular Cars” deals a modicum of research would with Michael Ironside anchoring the film as the villain, Zeus. with regular cars. sway a person against buying? While the film plays into ‘80s narrative tropes, it imbues them with This is not the channel where What kinds of societal messages a distinctly modern energy. The story follows an orphaned comic book you would go to ogle over the have influenced a person to enthusiast (Chambers) living in the nuclear wasteland of what may have specs of the Bugatti Veyron think that a midsize sedan— once been Quebec. The appearance of the mysterious Apple (Leboeuf) or speculate about the next whose only positive attribute is disrupts his reclusive habits and forces him into a friendship. Of course, generation of Lamborghinis. its vaguely “muscle” aesthetic— Apple is soon abducted by a henchman of Zeus to be a participant in a “Regular Cars” has sometimes is the one to buy? These are gGladiator-style tournament with a particularly morbid twist. When reviewed performance cars, but the kinds of questions that are Chambers’ character stumbles across the very weapon his favorite comic- he has also reviewed a Toyota entertained and answered by book hero “Turboman” wields, he sees the opportunity to exact revenge on Camry, a Volkswagen Phaeton, “Regular Cars.” Zeus for the murder of his parents and free his only friend. Together with and a Dodge Nitro. Now, what Not all “Regular Cars” fellow gladiator and town hero Frederic (Jeffrey), the pair must destroy makes his reviews so special is reviews are as scathing and Zeus, his army, and his deadly water plant. not this alone. Rather, “Regular vicious as the one offered to “Turbo Kid’s” nostalgia for the aesthetic gloss of the ‘80s manifests in Car”s is so unique because he the Dodge Avenger. Some are its presentation as well as its plot. The original soundtrack is synthetic puts humor and charisma into very inspiring, in fact, and they perfection, and even the green haze of Wasteland color grading can’t all of his reviews, humanizing aren’t always the ones you would entirely smother the neon wardrobes of the protagonists or the rich red a car and going off about the expect. One of the most inspiring of the frequent bloodshed. The infectious joy of “Turbo Kid,” juxtaposed potential lives of its potential “Regular Cars” reviews is of the with its maniacal use of practical gore effects equal parts brutal and camp, owners. Buick Grand National, a sports ultimately makes the movie a success. The movie stays true to the ‘80s both When I first found “Regular coupe from the 1980s. Despite visually and thematically—perhaps to a fault. Cars,” I was beaming upon seeing the car having an automatic The commentary on ‘80s military aggression repurposed as popular that the channel had indeed transmission, “Regular Cars” culture provides depth to the film. However, “Turbo Kid” unapologetically reviewed the notorious 2011 makes a case for the Buick fails the Bechdel test and stars a man killing other men to avenge his Dodge Avenger. The Dodge Grand National as a symbol of mother and Apple. But truthfully, is it fair to demand anything else from Avenger is a very exciting car the rebellious sentiment of the an homage to a time in the US when people stopped looking to the future because it was quite possibly the 1980s. At the end of the review, and began living as though they were already in it? worst car in production during he revs up the car engine and “Turbo Kid” is available on Netflix. the early 2010s. “Regular Cars” laughs like a child as it flies off Mehring is a does the review of the Dodge into the highway at dawn. It’s Take Five Scholar. Avenger justice by establishing honestly tearjerking to watch. the basic reasons why the car is For a car enthusiast who terrible (cheap interior and bad loves to think about makes and handling), and then launching models of normal, everyday cars, into a monologue of a middle “Regular Cars” is a dream come aged man living in suburban true. Reviews from “Regular hell, who presumably owns the Car” are detailed, humorous, car. The monologue, which and engaging, bringing new involves French fries and cheese, life into the previously clinical is delivered in a deep and growly genre of car reviews. LIKE TO ENTERTAIN? voice that is simultaneously Howard is a member of funny and disturbing. the Class of 2017. YOU LIKE TO READ POETRY? McGorry to Speak on Campus

BY SCOTT ABRAMS and Academy Award nominee WRITE FOR A&E A&E EDITOR Viola Davis in ABC’s “How to Actor Matt McGorry, Get Away with Murder.” best known for his roles as McGorry speaks out on #HAIKU prison guard John Bennett on social media regarding social “Orange is the New Black” and issues. On his Twitter profile, Asher Millstone on “How to he describes himself as an Get Away with Murder,” will “activist and intersectional speak about gender equality in feminist,” and often voices his Strong Auditorium at 8 p.m. support for movements like on Thursday, Feb. 25. Emma Watson’s work with the In 2015, McGorry won the United Nations, “HeForShe.” [email protected] Screen Actors Guild Award for On his Facebook page, he “Outstanding Performance by wrote, “I believe in gender a Cast in a Comedy Series” as equality. Being a feminist is for part of the ensemble of Netflix’s both women AND men. I am acclaimed show, “Orange is the a feminist.” New Black.” He currently stars Abrams is a member of alongside Emmy Award winner the Class of 2018. PAGE 14 / campustimes.org SPORTS / THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2016

WOMEN’S TEAM PHOTOS BY LEAH NASON / PHOTO EDITOR MEN’S TEAM PHOTOS BY RUAIRI CONWAY / CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHER

Upper left: Sophomore Upper right: Freshman Center left: Freshman Center right: Senior Bottom left: Junior Sam Bottom center: Junior Bottom right: Junior Al Leslie looks to pass Jacob Wittig goes up Jacob Wittig lunges with Kayla Kibling guards on Borst-Smith dribbles the Brynn Lauer dribbles Sam Borst-Smith shoots over the head of WashU for the layup against the ball against WashU. defense against WashU. ball past sophomore the ball up toward mid- the ball into the hoop junior Lily Sarros. WashU. Matt Highsmith. court. against WashU. THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2016 / SPORTS campustimes.org / PAGE 15 ATHLETE OF THE WEEK Rookie of the Week Focuses on Passion and Diligence BY BELLA DRAGO I don’t really have anything to income potential here, so we don’t CONTRIBUTING WRITER relate it to, but from what I have really get much fame either. seen, I think, as a team, we work This past weekend, St. Lawrence really well together with everyone University (SLU) hosted the men’s functioning well as a group, the Are there any professional play- squash Liberty League Champion- performances as a group could ers that you admire? ships. The UR Yellowjackets took have been better, but I don’t think second place, with a commend- we have to worry about that too I admire all of the top professional able loss to host SLU of 5–4. This much right now. I prefer to just players. I think it really takes guts is the third straight year SLU has take it one day at time, and when to go into the sport knowing that taken first place, after Rochester it’s time to perform, I think ev- you will have to work harder than won the previous six consecutive eryone will really show their best. any other person and not get paid years—2007-2012. Freshman much for it, so they end up just and South African native Lawrence doing it for the passion of the Kuhn aided Rochester in its victories How does playing squash help sport. I think that is amazing. and received laudable recognition. PHOTO COURTESY OF UR ATHLETICS you in other aspects of your life? Kuhn was named Liberty League Kuhn lunges for the ball at Lyman Squash Courts. Squash Rookie of the Week for the It definitely gives me discipline Would you rather compete in third time this season due to his know I was Rookie of the Week for about 10 years. I am not even and determination. I don’t think I a hotdog-eating contest or get impressive performance. He swept the first time, so I can’t say it sure anymore. I love it because am the smartest person, but I am the leak of Kanye West’s new at the championships and has won really feels any different. I don’t from when I was young, squash one of the most persistent, and I album? seven consecutive matches, totalling follow it, anyway. has always been my escape from can only get that from the many to 11–1 this season. the pressures of the world, and I hours that I have spent training Well, I really like food and com- can just be me and enjoy myself. to get only a little bit further. It petitions, and I am not a huge fan How does it feel to be Rookie How long have you been play- also keeps me grounded and does of Kanye, so I think I’ll go with of the Week for the third time ing squash, and what makes not let me think that I am bigger the hotdog-eating competition. this season? you enjoy the sport? How do you feel about your than the world. Squash players team’s overall performance this know that the sport is underap- Drago is a member of Well, to start off, I didn’t even I think I have been playing squash season? preciated, and we don’t have huge the Class of 2018. Sportmanship for Divsion III Athletes Remains Gray BY BEN SHAPIRO sportsmanship mandatory, Ask ten athletes, coaches, competing in front of other no one really knows how to SENIOR STAFF with anything less just or fans what they think good people who care about your behave. All too often, this unacceptable. Now, nearly 16 sportsmanship is, and you’ll sport and the outcome of your leads people to either crossing As a student athlete, frequent years later, this emphasis has probably get ten differentgame, even if their way of the line or sitting on their attendee of UR sporting not wavered, and as I’ve gotten answers. There’s likely to be caring is expressed by booing hands and needlessly creating events, and president of older, good sportsmanship has some uniformity, though. Ideals and letting you know that a sterile atmosphere devoid of the Varsity Student Athlete only become more important like“respecting your opponents” they hope you fail. In speaking the energy that makes college Advisory Committee, issues in my eyes. The question, and “playing by the rules” with other athletes, both at athletics great. Similar to most of sportsmanship are often however, is what exactly does are pretty much universally UR and other colleges, an conflicts, an in-between zone on my mind. Ever since “good sportsmanship” mean, considered to be part of what overwhelming majority of us hasn’t been formulated. I started participating in especially for Division III makes a rational sport, but not only are okay with facing Good sportsmanship should athletics, I’ve considered proper athletes? beyond these baseline truths, negativity from opposing fans, be a pillar of Division III defining acceptable behavior is but find it enjoyable. For this athletics. But that doesn’t much more difficult. reason, I would say that there mean heckling, negativity, and From an outsider’s is plenty of room for this type emotion have to be minimized. LAST WEEK'S SCORES perspective, some of the of behavior in college athletics. These signs of passion and heckling, taunting, and We can handle it. engagement should be FRIDAY, FEBUARY 5 intentional distractions from Of course, there is still a line encouraged as long as they are Women’s Basketball vs. Washington University in St. Louis - W 56-51 fans directed toward opposing that cannot be crossed. Personal not done in ways that target Men’s Basketball vs. Washington University in St. Louis - W 77-64 players and teams might seem attacks, or pretty much anything individuals. like bad sportsmanship, and in that attacks one’s identity, are This allows fans to be engaged SATURDAY, FEBUARY 6 some cases, it is. No one should certainly too far. This type of in the events. It also creates a Men’s Squash vs. Bard College- W 9-0 be shouting negative remarks heckling is rare, but does exist, better atmosphere for players. Men’s Squash vs. Hobart College- W 9-0 at a middle-school basketball and should not be tolerated. For us, Division III athletics team, or at any other athlete of One of the biggest problems are our Super Bowl, our World such a young age. with the current status of Cup, and our Olympics. Sure, SUNDAY, FEBUARY 7 But what about athletes at sportsmanship in Division our games will never come close Women’s Basketball vs. University of Chicago - W 75-64 UR? Should we expect to be III is that there are no clear to what it’s like to compete in Men’s Basketball vs. University of Chicago - W 77-76 (OT) treated with the utmost respect guidelines about what is and those events, but why limit the Men’s Squash vs. St. Lawrence University - L 4 -5 and not be subjected to any sort isn’t acceptable. There have passion and emotion of our of negativity when we compete been discussions to make more games beyond what’s necessary against other schools? I would official legislation outliningto keep things civil? say absolutely not. this, but for now, this ambiguity Shapiro is a member of THIS WEEK'S SCHEDULE There is nothing likeleads to an environment where the Class of 2016.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 12 Women’s Basketball vs. Brandeis University - 6:00 P.M.* Men’s Basketball vs. Brandeis University - 8:00 P.M.* Men’s Track and Field at Metro Fastrack Invite- Staten Island,NY- 1:00 P.M. Women’s Track and Field at Metro Fastrack Invite- Staten Island, NY- 1:00 P.M.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 13 Men’s Swimming and Diving at Ithaca College Invitational - Ithaca, NY -1:00 P.M. Women’s Swimming and Diving at Ithaca College Invitational- Ithaca, NY- 1:00 P.M.

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 14 Men’s Sqash vs. University of Toronto - 1:30 P.M.* Men’s Tennis vs. Ithaca College - Ithaca, NY - 12:00 P.M. Men’s Basketball vs. New York University - 12:00 P.M.* Women’s Basketball vs. New York University - 2:00 P.M.*

*DENOTES HOME GAME (DH) DENOTES DOUBLE-HEADER PAGE 16 / campustimes.org THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2016 SPORTS Squash Falters at Championships MVP Miller Conquers Newton in SB 50 BY RASHAD MOORE drive, the NFL’s most recent season CONTRIBUTING WRITER MVP scrambled for 23 of the to- tal 73 yards amassed on the drive. The Broncos defense smothered Newton finished 18 of 41 for 265 Cam Newton and the Carolina yards in the air and 45 yards on Panthers offense in a 24–10 vic- the ground, for an abominable tory at Super Bowl 50 in Santa 16.9 quarterback Rating (QBR). Clara, Calif., Sunday. The Panthers trio of running backs From the beginning, it was ap- amassed a total of 73 yards for the parent that the Broncos came to entire contest. Both Newton and play. After receiving the ball on the running back Mike Tolbert fum- kick-off, Peyton Manning read the bled twice. In simple terms, Caro- Carolina defense, knew they were lina’s offense was dazed. blitzing, called an audible, and cre- Stopping the run was the key ated four big plays in which the to beating Carolina. The Panthers Broncos converted a field goal. predicated their offense all season Despite the brilliance shown by on the run, and finished second the Broncos on the first drive, both in rushing yards during the regu- PHOTO COURTESY OF UR ATHLETICS Sixth-ranked sophomore Michelangelo Bertocchi in a Saturday match against Bard College. offenses were halted. lar season. The consistent run at- Newton reverted to his bad tack forced the defense to protect BY MIRA BODEK by a score of 9-0), bringing three matches to even the score habit of over-throwing receivers, the entire field and opened up the PRESENTATION EDITOR the Yellowjackets and the St. at 3-3. At rung five, fresh- while Manning’s passes lost every play action pass for Newton. Gen- Lawrence Saints head-to-head. man Lawrence Kuhn topped semblance of velocity. Both teams erally, the play action pass opens The 3rd-ranked Yellowjacket Both squads are top-10 teams Hussien Elraye and Ryosei Ko- failed to establish their running up designed QB runs. The lack Squash team, coming off a in the College Squash Associa- bayashi added a win at rung games, although C.J Anderson of the run game shut down Caro- 5-4 win against Harvard and tion (CSA) rankings, with UR two over Moustafa Bayoumy rushed for 90 yards. lina’s offense and forced Newton 4-5 loss to Trinity last week- at number three and Saints for UR’s third point. Tim Lasu- The game was won on the de- to beat the Broncos defense with end, recently travelled to Can- ranked sixth. sa of St. Lawrence defeated Ben fensive side of the ball, so it was fit- just his arm alone. Clearly, it wasn’t ton, New York for the Liberty While it was a hard-fought Pitfield in a grueling five games ting for the best defensive player in enough. League Championships. battle, the ‘Jackets dropped a at number eight. the game, Von Miller, to be named In the second half, Panthers wide In the opening match against 5-4 decision to St. Lawrence In the last three games, the Super Bowl MVP. receiver Tedd Ginn Jr. completed a Bard (8-4), UR won all nine University in the final match Saints’ Lockie Munro took Early on, Miller made his pres- 45-yard catch-and-run, but Caro- matches handily, not dropping on Sunday. With the win, the a 3-0 win over Aria Fazeli- ence clear by strip-sacking New- lina was unable to convert that a single game with three-love host Saints (12-2) captured manesh, UR’s seventh rung. St. ton, which led to a defensive drive into any points. When the sweeps across the board. Later their third straight Liberty Lawrence’s Amr Khalifa then touchdown by Malik Jackson. Broncos got the ball on the next on, during the nightcap against League title after Rochester had clinched the championship de- The MVP ended the game with possession, Manning completed Hobart (5-10), the ‘Jackets re- won six previous champion- cision in the first slot with his 2.5 sacks, two QB hits, one pass two passes to Emmanuel Sanders mained strong, with seven of ships from 2007 to 2012. 3-0 win over Mario Yanez. In defended, and two forced fumbles. for 25 yards and 22 yards, respec- the nine wins coming by the St. Lawrence took two of the final match played, UR’s The numbers, however, don’t tell tively. This drive, though, only same scores. The Hobart States- the opening three matches Tomotaka Endo won in five the entire story. Not only was Mill- ended in a field goal. The inability men did put up a fight, howev- in the first wave. In the third over Lenard Puski to reach the er consistently in Newton’s face, to finish out drives in touchdowns er, as first-ranked Mario Yanez slot, SLU’s Ahmed Bayoumy final score of 5-4. but linebacker DeMarcus Ware was essentially why the Broncos was pushed to four games by outlasted Neil Cordell in five Rochester returns home to added another two sacks, and four didn’t blow out the Panthers, or Josh Oakley and at the sev- games. At ladder nine, St. Law- the Lyman Squash Center next QB hits, while defensive end Der- why the Panthers weren’t able to enth’s rung, Hobart’s Divine rence’s Ness Billamoria won weekend for home matches at ek Wolfe added half a sack. The en- win. Wing earned a one game win in a tight four-game match noon against Bates College and tire defense totaled seven sacks and The Super Bowl always comes over UR’s Aria Fazelimanesh. over UR’s Meng Xiaomen for the University of Toronto on 13 QB hits. The moments when down to who makes the most On the second day of com- an early 2-0 lead. Yellowjacket Saturday and Sunday respec- the pass rush wasn’t swift enough, plays and the fewest mistakes. This petition, UR started with simi- Michelangelo Bertocchi then tively. Following that, UR will the Broncos defensive backs played is why the Broncos, who formu- lar strength, sweeping Vassar put the UR on the board with head to the College Squash As- spectacular coverage, forcing New- lated more plays and made fewer 9-0, again without dropping a four game win over George sociation team championships ton to hold on to the ball for far mistakes than Carolina, are the Su- a single game. St. Lawrence Willis, the Saint’s sixth rung. from February 26 through 28. too long, which generated either a per Bowl 50 champions. (12-2), the host and defending In the next wave, the ‘Jack- Bodek is a member of sack, a QB hit, or a wasted down. Moore is a member of champion, defeated Bard (also ets were able to take two of the Class of 2019. On Carolina’s only touchdown the Class of 2017. Goodell Recognizes Women but Avoids Deeper Issues BY JACKIE POWELL new scandals and tragic anecdotes alcoholism, is refusing to attend that epidemic must be taken. Just quire interviews of women for SPORTS EDITOR that have not only worried NFL rehab, and was given a restraining stating that concussion screen- executive positions. fans, but have also left spectators order prohibiting him from see- ings have steadily “increased by The reason why I find the NFL Commissioner Roger embarrassed to continue their fi- ing an ex-girlfriend for two years. 108 percent” isn’t enough. summit of women in the NFL Goodell gave an address that delity to the American sport. During his address, when Although Commissioner ironic is due in part to how play- equates to a “State of the NFL” In his SOFTNFL, Goodell Goodell was asked to comment Goodell did not address suffi- ers in recent years, like Hardy (SOFTNFL) speech on Feb. 5, failed to recognize the pertinent on the issue, he explained the ciently the predicaments affect- and Manziel, have treated and re- the Friday before Super Bowl 50.” controversy surrounding play- need to have a potential “pro- ing the workers of his “union,” he sponded to women. Is the league To examine the league in light of ers and their personal lives, and gram” that will call for all of the made it clear that the league will jabbing its own players by en- the past year, Goodell remained the notion that NFL players are NFL to go through “extensive be turning toward being more in- tertaining a “Women’s Summit” defensive rather than owning up expected set a positive example education” to handle these issues. clusive. On the same day as his and introducing the “Rooney to some of the NFL’s most trou- as role models. In the NFL’s In respect to focusing on the SOFTNFL, the league sponsored Rule?” Is the only positive im- bling predicaments. ninety-sixth regular season, Greg health and livelihood of his play- the very first “NFL Women’s provement to have come out of Instead of providing NFL Hardy’s original 10-game sus- ers, Goodell also failed to address Summit.” The Summit featured Goodell’s union been the revolu- fans with some clarification and pension, for a firearms-related the epidemic of Chronic Trau- prominent speakers, including tionary hirings that have occurred proclamations of progress, the domestic abuse incident with an matic Encephalopathy (CTE), tennis legend and barrier-breaker within the last six or so months Commissioner decided to use ex-girlfriend, was reduced to a which has affected the likes of Billie Jean King, recently hired (i.e., Referee Sarah Thomas, Dr. the league’s ironic and recent ac- mere four games. After he was re- former Raiders quarterback Ken Baseball Tonight analyst Jessica Jen Welter, and Assistant Coach knowledgement of the roles of instated, however, he continued Stabler and 12-time pro-bowl Mendoza, and former Secretary Kathryn Smith)? While the sum- women in the league as a scape- to completely disrespect women linebacker Junior Seau. After the of State Condoleezza Rice, who mit and the new rule are both goat to avoid the elephants in in his comments targeted at Tom release the film “Concussion,” some have speculated could (and positive, neither should be used the room—which include sexual Brady’s wife and her appearance. starring Will Smith, NFL legend should) become the next “Com- to cover up issues of paramount and domestic assault charges, and More recently, former Texas Harry Carson came forward to ish.” importance—issues that must be concussion preventative strate- A&M phenom and current talk about his symptoms of severe During the summit, Goodell resolved to allow for the league to gies. rambunctious quarterback for depression following his profes- announced the establishment of endure. In the past year, the league has the Cleveland Browns, Johnny sional career. CTE is a league epi- the “Rooney Rule” for women— Powell is a member of been recovering and discovering Manziel, has been teetering on demic, and action toward stifling a new regulation that would re- the Class of 2018.