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The student newspaper of Imperial College
Issue 1044 FELIX December 13th 1995 IC Loses £2 Million In Tory Budget Cuts
BY ALEX FEAKES AND bereft of any strategic direction". MICHAEL LUDLAM The fiery meeting refused to Higher Education capital spend- receive the speech from the edu- ing cuts of over 31% announced cation minister, Eric Forth, and in last month's budget could have threatened to reduce the number far reaching consequences for of student places and charge fees Imperial College. College offi- rather than force staff cuts and cials were quick to condemn the diminishing quality of education slashing of Universities' budgets, from out-of-date equipment. which could see IC up to £2 mil- Faced with massive reduc- lion a year poorer, raising the tions in capital spending, money spectre of top-up fees for stu- which is earmarked for replacing dents. equipment and renovating build- Kenneth Clarke's budget ings, many institutions are con- proposals were labelled a case of templating top-up fees. These PHOTO: WILLIAM LORENZ 'robbing Peter to pay Paul' by would be a levy on students Reserved for the Bus: ICU has lost its parking spaces to a fleet of angry universities who are bitter entering higher education to pay mobile offices, the temporary home to the contractors demolishing that the government has cut hun- for their tuition, currently paid RCS II to make way for the new Basic Medical Science building. dreds of millions from the Higher for by the tax-payer. However, Story: pages 2 and 3. Education Funding Council for this could also lead to the situa- England's budget to give £878 tion where only the rich and affect some places more than vate sector funding for capital million more to primary and sec- those capable of attracting spon- others. Manchester, for example, projects such as new buildings ondary education. It was pointed sors or a scholarship would be suffered a 10% cut in funding last and research centres. However, out as being particularly ironic able to go to university. year which they achieved with almost all institutions agree that that Gillian Shephard was trum- News that Manchester voluntary redundancies, leaving the PFI cannot be effectively peting the sidewards shift of University, one of the 'Russell them no slack with which to applied to education. These feel- money as an advance in education Group' of powerful institutions absorb another 31% drop in ings are typified by those of funding. which includes Imperial College, income. Cambridge University, "PFI The Committee of Vice- is seriously considering charging The government's proposals requires a guaranteed income..., Chancellors and Principals met top-up fees, led the group to con- for Higher Education include the which academic buildings do not last Friday to discuss a response vene an emergency meeting last widening of the Private Finance provide ...teaching and research to what one vice-chancellor de- week. The cuts of £500 per stu- Initiative (PFI) to allow educa- buildings do not bring in a profit." scribed as "an act of vandalism dent over the next 3 years will tional institutions to attract pri- continued on page two
New Union Advisor Budget Cuts to Grants DR Snubs Medics
Martin Thomson has been The November budget brought Replying to a statement on the appointed the new union advi- gloom to student as the manda- medical students' concerns over sor. Martin says he's 'really tory grant was slashed by a fur- the social space in the BMS, the pleased' to be dealing with IC ther 9%. However, luckily for Deputy Rector caused a storm m students' problems on a perme- some, the duty on beer by failing to properly consider nant basis page 2 remained the same. page 2 their suggestions. page 3 TWO . FELIX WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 13TH 1995 NEWS continued from front page to preside over the creation of an Speaking to Felix, Richard American-style "Ivy League" of Stacey, communications officer super universities where the peo- News in brief at Manchester University, said ple who go there would be based that 'private finance is not a on financial standing and not aca- BY THE NEWS TEAM chance of getting a job. Luckily viable option. The bottom line is demic. Sir Ronald Oxburgh, for him, the agency quickly put that private companies would Rector of Imperial College, Free Rape Alarms some work his way, and this want to make a profit.., and this called the cuts 'derisory' and sus- Concerns have been expressed encouraged him to enter the would mean charging students pected that they would affect by Matt Crompton, DP(F+S], competition run by the show. for the privilege.' He was keen to Imperial badly because of the over the fact that few people are Speaking to Felix, Andrew affirm that 'Manchester would heavy slant toward engineering aware of the availability of free seemed unfazed by the whole not go it alone [among the and science. The College would rape alarms from the union. business, saying he was 'indiffer- Russell Group]' but would not want to affect the quality of The alarms are available ent to seeing [himself] in print', expect that if one did, others its degree, and is likely to look to from the union office to any that and that it was just an idea he might follow suit. He was scepti- overseas fees to make up the dif- ask as part of an ICU initiative to took up to earn some money in cal whether or not the situation ference. Top-up fees were criti- reduce rape incidents among stu- the summer vacation. He was would change under a Labour cised as being a highly inefficient dents, especially for those stu- reluctant to consider modelling government means of raising funds, as so dents who live far away from col- as a full time occupation, citing IC sources say that College much has to be 'given back' in lege. the hard work, massive competi- tion and often having to face do not want to charge top-up administration and scholarships Two sorts of alarms are rejection as reasons not to get too fees, and certainly does not want for the less well off. available from the union office, involved just yet. However, he namely gas-powered and elec- said having the modelling as a tronic ones. The gas-powered sideline would be useful as living Grant Cut By 9%; Banks alarms are available for free in London as a student was so whereas the electronic device expensive. costs £3. Say No To Student Loans Take up on the offer has Although Andrew didn't been slow, which has been walk away with the top prize, a The government has further has increased in line with infla- blamed on inadequate publicity. contract with a top London mod- cut the maintainance grant for tion, whereas Access Funds, the However, student representa- elling agency, he hasn't been put home students by 9%, bringing it discretionary money doled out to tives would encourage students off the business, he now wants to and the Student Loan to com- universities for them to give to to get an alarm if they feel vul- concentrate on building up his prable levels. Elsewhere, the big students suffering extreme fina- nerable, especially Matt, who portfolio of modelling work and four high street banks are set to cial hardship, have been frozen at would like to reclaim the space completing his degree before making any career decisions. unanimously reject governmental £28 million for all universities. they are occupying in his office. overtures to take on the Student The troubled Student Loans Loan mantle, saying that there is Company has been a target for a New Security Chief ICU Appoints New no way that they can make sell-off as part of a drive for effi- A new Chief Security Officer has Advisor money from the scheme, dashing ciency. However, the govern- been appointed to look after the After an exhaustive two rounds government hopes for a quick ments preferred method of doing daily workings of Security of interviewing, ICU have finally privatisation. this, getting a commercial bank Operations. Mr Kenneth Weir appointed a new Union Advisor The government plans for to run the Loans operation, has has served as an Military to replace Minever Kavlak, who increasing the numbers of stu- come unstuck as Midland Bank Policeman in the army and has resign earlier this term. There dents entering higher educaton has announced that it had been had extensive experience in were a number of candidates for have stalled at just over 30% par- 'unable to define a commerically investigations. the post, but the position eventu- ticipation as spending cuts are acceptable framework' for the Mr Terry Briley, the previ- ally went to Martin Thompson, being sought throughout the.sys- system.. The other big clearing ous incumbent whose prolonged who has been acting as locum tem. The highest loan available banks are still in talks with the absence due to illness led to the until the job was filled. Martin has been raised to accommodate government but are expected to appointment, might return after will officially starting at the the drop in grant, and the total react similarly. Mr Weir's six month contract beginning of next term. expires. Mr Weir can be contact- ed on 48904. Student Wins ICU Loses Parking Spaces Experiment Flight Catwalk Finals Material Scientist Jason In an unexpected move, College The offices occupy the An unusual idea on how to earn Maroothynaden has won the has removed all of the Union's spaces set' reserved for ICU's some cash over the summer led opportunity to carry out an parking spaces around the cam- minibuses, which are now double first year Andrew Mayes to being experiment in zero gravity after pus, as part of a 40% reduction in parked behind Linstead Hall. a finalist in a modelling competi- winning a competition run by the total. The space is being Places have been set aside for tion run by BBC's Clothes Show NASA. taken up the site offices of con- disabled drivers, and disabled Magazine. The Chemistry fresh- Jason will try and fuse a tractors hired to demolish the students requiring spaces for er had some photos taken by a ceramic and a metal during the old Chemistry Building south of next term should still apply to friend in the business and sent two hour flight which will have a Imperial College Road. the Union office soon. them to a local agency on the off brief 20 seconds of zero-g. NEWS FELIX WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 1 3TH 1995 . THREE Medics Meet Match in Deputy Rector
BY DIPAK GHOSH teaching and research, as well as research staff if it does not have the whole community, but warns Student concerns over the Basic social space.' "attractive" SRF. that while the new BMS building Medical Sciences project have The students' document of The document claims that will contain social space for stu- been rejected by the Deputy concern suggests specific areas they are not aware of plans for dent activities, 'it is not intended Rector, Prof John Archer, as which need to be addressed with extending the present library to serve as a major restaurant'. groundless, prompting medical regard to projected numbers of facilities and the proposed expan- The Deputy Rector goes onto students to form an action group student and staff that will occupy sion of sports facilities. They also reassure Miss White that the stu- to oppose the current plans. The the BMS, including the restau- claim that the existing bars will dent's views are represented student bodies most closely rant, sports, bar and common be 'unable to cope and would through 'well established lines of involved are worried that their room areas. The student bodies potentially represent a fire haz- communication', including the views have not been taken seri- appealed to the Deputy Rector to ard' and that a bar within the House and Estates Committee as ously and that the planning com- reconsider, and since construc- BMS would serve to reduce the well as the BMS Planning mittee has tried to exclude them tion does not start until mid pressure on present facilities, Committee. He also claims that from the decision making February 1996, they reassure him especially with ICU's move to the ICU gave their support to the process. that it is not too late to change the Sherfield building in doubt. strategic sign-off of the plan at The concerns were set out in the internal compartmentalisa- They also seek reassurance for the end of the summer. to a document titled 'Student tion of the building. The student the proposed book shop on the Miss White agrees that there Concern Regarding the BMS unions pledge their support to ground floor of the present is good line of communication Building', which was submitted making ICSM 'the best in the library. between ICU and. the various to the Deputy Rector and all the country' but they believe it can- In his reply, Prof Archer committees, but complains that potential occupants of the BMS not attract the 'desired calibre of details plans for expansion of they do not listen to their views. on 21 November 1995. The stu- students as well as academic and sports and catering facilities for She also said that the House dent representatives of Imperial Committee tend to talk more College, St Mary's Hospital about immediate issues concern- Medical School and Charing ing IC but not issues relating to Cross and Westminster Medical the BMS, because the plans have School all formally backed the not yet been finalised. Refuting move. the part of Professor Archer's The document highlights reply which stated that ICU had particular problems regarding the signed the agreement on the proposed provisions of "student plans at the end of the summer, social and recreational facilities" she said that it was not signed by (SRF); from the most recent set her, nor was she aware of it being of plans for the BMS, the space signed on her behalf. for SRF has been reduced from Expanding on the concerns 826 m2 to just over 300 m2. This raised in the document Miss social space will not be large White said that "there is not even enough to accoommodate the enough space for students to dis- new Imperial College School of cuss issues arising out of a lec- Medicine (ICSM), estimated to ture." She claims that ICU gave be 1000 new students and 400 no full backing for the plan and staff. they have not bothered to ask The Deputy Rector respond- what they think. Moreover "they ed to this document on the 29 [the medical school planning November in the form of a letter committee] seem to have to Sarah White, the ICU arranged this sign-off meeting President. It says that while the when none of us could attend total number of students that will maybe because we had objections to the plans". join us from all the institutions PHOTO: DIANA HARRISON will 'not change dramatically', we Digging for the future: an army of contractors descended on the site However, she endorses the will need to utilise all the medical of the RCS II building, condemned to demolition to make way for aim of this project and believes colleges' sites, as well as the new Basic Medical Sciences block. They are under the hire of that this will undoubtedly be an Silwood. He also claims that the Schal International, the company brought in by Imperial College to "outstanding" medical college, BMS will have substantial stu- oversee the construction of the BMS. but goes on to warn that if the dent and recreational space, but Last ditch attempts to find a buyer for the antique interior of SRF is not reviewed then medics warns that 'at South Kensington the lecture theatres, often used as settings in period dramas, have may go to other sites in the BMS, we have to balance against the been unsuccessful. They are now likely to be cleared away with the so it will not fulfil the aim of inte- available space, the desire to rest of the building in time for construction to start in mid February grating students from Imperial establish first class facilities in next year. and the medical colleges. FOUR . FELIX WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 1 3TH 1995 NEWS ICU Bid For BMS Books RH Deny Their Ruggery
BY DIPAK GHOSH decide who runs the bookstore is BY AAARK BRIDGE minibus on the night it was seen Imperial College Union hope to not yet open. Moreover, the The Union's lost welcome mat outside Beit, he quickly became move their bookstore to the College has yet to appoint a com- "miraculously" turned up at very hostile and aggressively cut ground floor of the library as part mittee that can consider applica- Royal Holloway's Clubs and off the call with 'I havn't got of the expansion of the South tions from bidders; the criteria Societies Officer Shams Sadek's time for this, [and] don't call Kensington campus brought for deciding who runs the book- office late last week. back...' When attempts were about by the Basic Medical store have yet to be finalised." It The mat was bundled from made to contact other RH Union Sciences building. The space is widely thought that potential Beit Quad in the small hours of officials, Mr Sadek consistently vacated by the move will be used bidders, apart from ICU, are Thursday November 16th as intercepted the communications to expand the selection of sta- likely to include Blackwells and union stewards were clearing the and further clarification of his tionary sold in the present site. Dillons. midweek sports crowd from Da role was not possible, suggesting Plans for the library include Mr Crompton commented Vinci's. Many IC clubs had invit- acute embarrassment at Royal adding two more floors on top of that ICU would naturally like to ed their opponents over after Holloway Union over the rug the present building and an run this bookstore because it will their British Universities' Sports snatch. enlargement of the basement for be better run and more account- Association matches with Royal Sarah White said that she storage. Latest designs for the able to students. Asked to Holloway. Security footage clear- and Clubs and Societies BMS bookstore allocate 224 m2 expand on this claim, he said "at ly shows an unidentified Royal Sabbatical Tim Townend would of floor space, whilst the remain- the moment the bookstore com- Holloway student entering the be travelling to Royal Holloway ing area will be occupied by the mittee runs the union bookstore, Union followed subsequently by to retrieve the mat within the entrance to the library and the and this has student representa- a huddle of RH sportsmen carry- next few days. 'I don't care Haldane collection. tives and sabbaticals on it. If our ing one of their drunken compa- where or how it was found, it's There are, however, many bid for the BMS bookstore is triots out, with the mat, into a just found' she commented. The technical difficulties with the accepted then this set-up will waiting silver minibus. incident caused Sarah White bookstore are yet to be resolved, continue to be used. We will Speaking to Felix, Mr Sadek considerable embarrassment at highlighted by Matt Crompton, keep prices down whereas the was in. dally quite genial, howev- the time because she was at the Deputy President for Finance others would be run to make er, when questioned about who gate as the students walked by and Services. "The bidding to profits." had actually booked their silver with the mat. Suicides Rise Blamed on Financial Stress
BY ANDY SINHARAY versities, has not been matched stress] who would never commit communication. "Some do slip A report published by Liberal by an equivalent expansion in stu- suicide in a hundred years... it through the net, but I encourage Democrat MP Don Foster has dent support services." She depends on personality." staff to refer students to me." He shown an eightfold increase in added, "the main factor is Although suicides have further added that the system of student suicides over the last undoubtedly financial worries." occurred at Imperial in recent pastoral care and personal tutori- decade, a period which has seen a ICU Welfare Officer, Stephen years, he felt that welfare provi- als operating at the moment was doubling of the student popula- Webb, agreed: "I also note that sion at Imperial was adequate, fairly successful, and was indeed tion. the male suicide rate is consider- and that such incidents could better than that offered at other Entitled "A report on the ably higher than that for females well have been down to a lack of establishments. level of student stress and suicide amongst students, and that in the rates" it emphasises that it repre- male dominated atmosphere of sents "merely a 'dip' into a very IC, men are less likely to seek complex field" and that it is "by counselling. There is perhaps a no means an authorative survey." tendency to assume that males However the report does show have no specific problems." that "a large number of students IC's own student counsellor, who took their own life were, Don Adlington, emphasised that according to the information we there was not necessarily a dis- have received, scientists", also tinct connection between stress, indicating that since 1993 men be it academic or financial, and appeared more likely to take suicide for an individual student. their own lives than women, with Although he felt that students mature students being "especially had "a slightly less secure base vulnerable". then there used to be" financially Sarah White, ICU president, and otherwise, he did feel that commented that "it highlights statistically there probably was a PHOTO: DIANA HARRSION concern that the recent expan- link "Suicide is a different phe- sion of student numbers in many nomenon to depression," he said, Going Down: Students are working increasingly long hours and face HE colleges, polys and 'new' uni- "there are some students [under greater academic and financial pressures. NEWS FELIX WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 1 3TH 1995 . FIVE Royal Albert Hall Looks Back to the Future for Science and Arts
BY BEN WILKINS knowledge as applicable to pro- The Albert Hall, traditional- ductive industry". The building Hawking's First Words in Jeopardy? ly a venue for opera and pop con- was completed in 1871 and for certs, may be reverting to its orig- the first few decades, science lec- "Can you hear me?" was his a black hole evaporates, the inal purpose- a centre for the pro- tures were very popular, drawing first sentence. Hawking's elec- information about any objects motion of science and the arts. up 9000 visitors. In 1933 Albert tronic, metallic sounding voice which may have fallen into it will This March, the RAH will be cel- Einstein and Ernest Rutherford was made even more unearthly be irretrievably lost. It follows ebrating its 125th anniversary. gave a lecture to raise funds for by the Royal Albert Hall's echo- that it would be impossible to In the run up to the celebra- refugees from Nazi Germany. ing acoustics. Hawking himself calculate the course of the tions, one of the new initiatives is Unfortunately, subsequent to looked a very diminished figure. future, even if we had all the the setting up of an Arts and Einstein's appearance, there were "He seemed like he was asleep information about the present. Science study group. The group no more science events at the site half the time" commented one At the end of the lecture, will be looking at the hall's main until quite recently. member of the audience. His talk Hawking answered ten selected objectives in the first quarter of However, it seems public though, was engaging and enter- questions, including "Is time the 21st century and is currently interest in science is on the taining. travel possible". His answer was gathering ideas for how the venue increase. Last month, at the Hall, He discussed determinism, "Not for objects as large and could be used to promote sci- Professor Stephen Hawking gave saying he had proved mathemati- complex as humans", comment- ence. his lecture "Does God Throw cally that it was impossible to ing that he would be unhappy if When Prince Albert leased Dice in Black Holes?" (see right). predict the future perfectly. His it was possible, because then the Kensington site in 1852, his Over 5000 people came to see idea is that there may be millions someone might go back in time plan was to build an institution to him, and outside, touts sold tick- of tiny black holes in the universe and kill his parents before he was promote "Scientific and artistic ets on the pavement. no bigger than a pin prick. When born. p.e.s. (Southwark) Limited For all your Computing GET STUFFED! Services rom £595 100 £638 Pentium P100 £850
jfcApple Mac ROAST TURKEY |S30 8/500/CD £800 CHRISTMAS DINNER 5200 8/800/CD £1399 TURKEY £3.25 IB. 75 WITH DESSERT 7200 16/lGb/CD£1699 VEGETARIAN £3/£3.50 All prices exclude VAT. P.C.S. Southwark AVAILABLE snt discount available on South Bank : models. Technopark WEDS. 13TH & THURS 14TH DEC 90 London Road VEGETARIAN OPTION AVAILABLE SE16LN Tel/Fax 0171 717 1595 six . FELIX WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 1 3TH 1995 NEWS REVIEW News Review: Autumn 1995
BY ANDY SINHARAY finally condescended to consult thefts around college, it seemed Felix 1041: Torpedoed ICU over the Sherfield move... that ICU may not be moving to ...thy were to be well and truly Felix 1034: Tripping Sherfield after all (or Sheffield as sunk after no less an eminence as Freshers tripping merrily into Felix 1036: Bent Over the RCSU would us believe). David Mellor MP torpedoed South Ken were accosted with One Fresher tripped maybe too Aside from there being a union their plans for their clubhouse the tale of a stone lion called merrily to a Rag event only to end who were none too fond of the development, with the Borough's up sprawled on the Sherfield idea Estates Director, Ian planning commmittee throwing walkway, with allegations that Caldwell, said that "the costs out the scheme. Mellor said he perhaps offering free spirits to appear to be higher than we feel was "delighted that the balance... * A AA « students wasn't such a good idea. comfortable with". Miguel Port- between the interests of the DP(F&S) Matt Crompton had a-loo visited ConSoc (according locals is not to be destabilised." approved the event, so long as to the Labour Club). Portillo's Back at ConSoc, John Gummer I Rag were aware of licensing rules. visit passed off with surprisingly faced questions on topics from Richard Willis' actions were said good behaviour from both stu- pollution to privatisation. Petty S^^^AS4-IAA^^ Ak'Sfe to be "highly commendable" and dents and speaker. crime was also in evidence (else- 'Reggie' tripping back to KCL. "new students were not encour- where). The Clayponds Estate The RCSU, having unburdened aged to over-indulge". Was he was hit by more burglaries, and KCL of their mascot last term, really responsible? Was Rag fail- ICU was hit by the theft of its repatriated Reggie, though with- ing in its duty to stop students front doormat. The Conference out the traditional charity dona- getting drunk? Was Time Out centre was hit by impending clo- tion. RCSU president Mo Dulloo really that far wrong? Meanwhile, sure, and Richard Willis was hit said he wasn't entirely happy IC Boat Club was exchanging by defeat, losing his appeal with the situation. Not unlike broadsides with Putney residents, against disciplinary punishment Sarah White, "extremely cross" who were concerned that and facing a £75 fine. with the College's minimalist extending the boat house would Felix 1039: Baffling approach to discussion on the destroy the local area. Sports Police were unexpected invitees Felix 1042: Witch Sherfield move. There was a manager Frank Murray said that to the Halloween party after fire Theft remained a problem, and spate of burglaries in Clayponds; IC was "bending over backwards" alarms set Linstead and freshers could now trip in anoth- a spate of vandalism in Princes to meet wishes of the locals. Southside residents rioting dur- er sense after it emerged that IC Gardens (after the security barri- DP(C&S) Tim Townend was ing the night. Linstead Bar was students could now obtain ecsta- er got, well, vandalised), and a unsympathetic: "If they live on a consequently shut, baffling sy with surprising ease. Chris spate of building projects every- river, what do they expect?" many as most of the student Smith MP was merely doing IT where else. drinking supposedly took place at LabSoc, talking to the club Felix 1037: Batterings in Southside. Fire alarms were about the information super- Felix 1035: Extreme Visits, visits everywhere and lots also giving hall residents highway. Linstead's now leg- Freshers tripping merrily in and lots to drink. Princess Anne unpleasant wake-up calls amidst endary Halloween party saw the Freshers Fair may also been came to ElecEng to open a lab, criticisms that they were sub- tribunal (witch-hunt?) of a re- accosted by the non-IC Islamic and Bernard Jenkin MP came to standard. app take place. group Hizb-ut-Tahrir. The org- visit the much maligned anisation, accused of extremism ConSoc. Drink: not so much Felix 1040: Escape Felix 1043: Bumper started exhibiting outside Beit booze but the controversy it was Physicists fumed over a smoking A bumper crop of thefts contin- Arch without the permission of still generating (Are you listen- ban in their department, with no ued to rock IC as Olave and ICU, who called the police. ing, Time Out?) The once space allowed for them to light Linstead Halls were hit. Other Extremism of a different kind "highly commendable" Richard up. Hope had however lit up for was reported by Time Out mag- Willis was accused of "irrespon- Linstead Bar, with Pro-Rector azine, highlighting IC as having sible actions" with speculation Prof Swanson deciding that the a drink problem. This was rife over his disciplinary hearing. closure decision had been a bit denied (vociferously, of course) One of his supporters planned a rash. The RCSU got afflicted by Sabbaticals and the Pro- motion of no-confidence in with more than the usual defi- Rector, Alan Swanson, saying ICU's exec, believing Richard to ciencies with the resignation of only a tiny number of students be experiencing needless batter- their VP and the (threaetened) were affected. And College ings from too many people. Not loss of their office. A consider- burglaries included exam candi- unlike the entry barrier on ably more serious loss occurred dates of their own calculators Watt's Way, vandalised three after a Rowing Club boat broke in under new regulations, and chari- times in as many weeks. half during training, though its ties of their earnings as as it crew swam to safety: "We were emerged that Rag week hadn't Felix 1038: Sheffield lucky to escape with our lives," been quite the money spinner it With Richard appealing over the said one of the escapees. Maybe, was planned to be. Sarah White disciplinary and a spate of bike but... looks less cross, though. Intoxication can breed infidelity. It would be judge who finds someone guilty of a crime but Mary was churlish to try to make out that Christmas is all because he loves the criminal so much he choos- sitting ner- doom and gloom but, with all the commercial es to serve the jail term himself. But, because he vously in the hype, the artificial merriment and the very real was God he said that he would rise from the room. By her depression that is around at this time of year, it dead and that we could then have a relationship side was the begs the question: "Have we missed the point of with him where we would be free from guilt and trough that Christmas?" shame and could have "life to the full". was once Undoubtedly, the answer is yes. For the Now, these are pretty staggering claims. used for animal fodder but was most part this is a conscious decision due to peo- Given this, it's hard to understand how anyone now serving as a makeshift cot. ple's unwillingness to associate themselves with can claim that he was just "a good bloke". Any Joseph walked in and a chill what they see as a fairy story about a baby being man who claims to be God is either a liar, a swept through the room. He bom in a bam. Fact is often difficult to separate lunatic, a legend or the Lord himself. As C.S. looked at Mary, sitting there from fable but in this case it is easy to judge in Lewis put it: "A man who was merely a man and expectantly and looking a bit favour of the former. That Jesus was bom and said the sort of things Jesus said wouldn't be a fretful, and said, "Oh, cheer up lived is not in question because of the historical great moral teacher; he would either be a lunatic love, it's Christmas." evidence, both from the Bible and other sources. on a level with a man who says he is a poached Unfortunately, this is how In fact, historians and theologians agree that egg - or else he would be the devil of hell. You many people feel during the so- there is more independent evidence for Jesus' life must make your choice. Either this man was and called festive season. Whether than for Julius Caesar's invasion of England and is the Son of God, or else a madman or some- it's due to S.A.D. (Seasonal wouldn't give you the time of day if you suggest- thing worse... but don't let's come up with any Affective Disorder), the Santa ed otherwise. So, is that the point of Christmas? patronising nonsense about his being a great Claus-trophobia caused by A baby boy called Jesus. So what? How did human teacher. He hasn't left that open to us. droves of people out shopping something seemingly so insignificant result in He didn't intend to." and items in shop windows cry- something which is celebrated in hundreds of And so to the point of Christmas. If Jesus ing, 'Try me, buy me!", or just nations across the globe? Well, contrary to popu- was God and he died for us and he rose from the due to the endless re-runs of lar belief, the marketing man can't take all the dead and God loves us so much that he suffered 1 } Moonraker and The Great credit. The answer lies with who Jesus said he for us, then that's definitely something worth cel- was. Escape on television, we can ebrating. Obviously there were many people always find sometiring to moan To pull no punches, Jesus said that he was who believed this two thousand years ago and about. God. Moreover, he was killed by the Jews of the many more who believe that today. Of course, there are many time for saying so. He claimed that he come to Perhaps most striking is the fact that none of of us who take the purely hedo- save people from their sins. Put simply, no Jesus' friends believed that he was God and nistic approach (and not just at human being, he claimed, was good enough to deserted him when he was about to be put to Christmas) and eat, drink, be earn themselves a way into heaven by doing death. Soon after, those same people, who had merry and drink some more. 'good deeds'. Everybody crosses their conscience. once been so fearful for their lives, claimed that But the sad fact is that more If we can't live up to our own moral standards they had seen Jesus, and that he was God, and relationships break up over how do we expect to be able to live up to God's? they were eventually put to death for saying so. Christmas and New Year than at Jesus said that he would die in place of us to pay r r 1 any other time of the year. the penalty for our wrong-doings, on a par with a Vikrant Bansal
christmas: fairy story or presents or God krant bansal W insight: unusual christmas gifts, at barb and. lien wilkins W—-————— column: simon baker
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album: sidi bou said - entertain,.vik l
reviews: the year's very best albumsveryon, e films: the shooter^ & dr jekyll and ms hyde™
films: seven agpe & the swan princess™^,* : A IB A 'BB|3i?. BB\;B 'A t / Sta^j-fe..7Aft;-ftBB. B-AB;e/::-.fiBBBAftA ym ^£im0^>m: :. B*|)B ,ftABftB'-ftf A:':,';-...'/; A-BAftftAftArB BJfeB , Batteries Not Included
: :A:>kw", '''AB . ;.? -: ' ..: .>.:: : :.. Stuck for present ideas? In search of novelty? Why not try a couple of |i'5fftft;::.:ft';,>ftft':K:-A;A 'BiB,.-ft-:; BSBB;:;':i^t;;ftA\.;-; the latest inventions hot off the patent press. AftB"'^*-;. 'fe-eA ftirf \BiM^'<
T^very year, a plethora of 'indis- BB;A.|:|:;£ftSftft:Aft:ft.ft'..ft BAB J_jpensable' golfing accessories | VBBB'—B*- : ./, :' : . appear in the shops. Here are two of AAA.BB»;.A«; ftlftA"ft.- this year's inventions which youj : ft:..AABftBcftftft, B.V.:;.: ft. can't afford to be seen without. ;;ABBABAftftft AJB^B ' The flexi-tee. It may be morel expensive than conventional tees, but in the long run it will save you time and- money. Some superb minds came to the fore when they invented a tee with flexible fibres to driving home after a support the golf ball. When you id"lon; g clay's shoot, youj strike the ball, the fibres move but | may get a tad chilly, espe-| : no substantial force is transmitted to dally if you're caught in ! the spike. The tee stays put so you the tailbacks on the M25.J 11 won't be driven mad looking for lost You need to keep warm, The European Elk, better known as the Moose tees. but if you leave your rriiere's no^koubt] Lost tees are one thing, lost balls \ engine running the] lks, often a problem at this time of year. | A that we all pile are another. The new telescopic] |exhaust fumes will pollute Perhaps you'd like to shoot some of | on the pounds during ] \golf ball retriever has a cleverly [ E designed scooping end thai, can help] |the environment. A novel j them. But this can be tricky with a festive the festive season. si cxivaci Uftft-ftftiftft Iftftft/ft: I solution comes in the formj hangover and a bad case of the shakes. We 'The ft. " ig can' 'awkward of pla - ' ise its I of an ingenious Spanish! up have the answer for you, the ultimate kip you burn |telescopic, this < uB << ". ^invention. The electric] | shooting support. It keeps you poised at fir- unwanted calories. jeasiy :-ftcftft.-J in ft , , ' i " - waistcoat works like the |ing position in comfort and style. Just lean f Astic ring Bag. Bur '.;v.:ilcaj;.:.-e;. -A.'! b<; B| good old electric blanket. back, sit on the stick and restyou r elbow on -ft- ,'" ; hula: % with envy. ..% The fabric layers surround ! the whatsit. Now all you have to do is wait. \ hoop wB " foam I two electric circuits which \ | Before you know it, an elk is bound to wan- i - A .. Uttsa run off a lo\ current -A( |der into your sights and when it does hey th two or DC. Here's the cunning |presto! another elk in the bag. Ycfttjust can't Hoarn B«
: :: A: ::B« :AB-; BA SQ «ABB ^By-xi y;^.A;;wB SABBBA:AAiftl Sift land bkxxj.pressure. AkBiily that,! :: ' B-ftlft- ft; ft-.', ft; .ft -."BB Aftft^. B.:BA^#^ L' 'i ...... :;:-i;i'ftftJ.:-i:;it;A?B' diSimM : 'ft- .--ft. ,s accoBing ;.o AftftB-Ba.;^ : ftft'ftft-ft - B:-B i.BBBBB jB/BI..; tB- w B«: A''"{or lira 1 , >f ul 1 K tin < to m ik a : :- ';' '.well ft i [94-7? .:...... A:.; ;-i:|B>B;;l M ABB-I;; -
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----..-..'... :; & v " ... . -. : ; ;-. .:. . " peli ,.,ft.; : f is.->'. i - B room, or stranding aimovmg inormally put ice cubes in suck as lUlii si )lirt!>v'{l.lUlWtl"> milk or Guinness. —""""^ -^TlT * Nat Barb and Vlll Ben Wilkins baker from the rest of the College to the simon detriment of the charities they seek Well, here we are, the end of the to help. We aren't a particularly term. Time certainly flies when mean-minded lot here, but people you're having fun, and also when understandably do not have much you're so snowed under with work time for events like the Slave that you don't have time to keep up Auction. Rag is rather like middle with the latest alcoholic offerings in aged parents dancing at a disco. You Southside. OK, it isn't quite that dearly love them, but just wish they bad; current favourite in that temple would sit down and stop embarrass- to the beer god is Sun Stroke, a truly ing you. awesome pint. My lords and masters One subject that I have been mean- tell me that this week's Felix is in the style of ing to cover since the start of the term is the loaded and this column is no exception. So here behaviour of ConSoc. I would never dream of we go. Birds, booze, fags, drugs. Ferrunism? laying bare my political affiliations, but the more Bunch of arse! Honestly, I'm not taking the piss, astute among you may appreciate that I identify- loaded is brilliant. Take the December issue, more closely with them than the Socialist which was lying around chez moi. It's the first Workers. It is for this reason that I have held issue I have read, and I cannot recommend it back a rant about their actions of late. But no highly enough. Frank Spencer, an interview with more. The childish bickering of Ian Bayley and Beth, erstwhile Neighbours crumpet, and to top latterly Geoff Boon is utterly disgraceful. it all, some delightful shots of Emma Noble, the Constant jibes about the press coverage, epito- drop dead gorgeous babe from Bruce's Price is mised by Ian Davey in issue 1042, are not only Right. Nice to see you, to see you nice. in most cases unfounded but highly counter-pro- Now I've had a cold shower, I shall return to ductive, opening the party up to ridicule. A litde more slightly more serious matters, with the less time spent jamming the letters page of Felix news that Rag really cannot organise a piss up in would allow you to promote the party success- a brewery. I find it amazing that a beer festival at fully at a crucial time. I fear that the only way a university that, we are told, is solely populated that the Press Officer can control these waring by alcoholics, can result in only half the ale being factions is to put them one by one in a room with sold. Although the situation was undoubtedly a revolver. Even then, one fears that most of the not helped by the infamous 'Rag-gate' business bullets would end up lodged in their feet. earlier in the term, the problems that have lead ConSoc do not have the monopoly on ropey to the most pathetic Rag Week in living memo- PR. The letter from Prof New, obviously a grad- ry are more fundamental (I wonder how long it uate of the Bernard Manning Charm School, will be before they blame the National Lottery). concerning a request for information on discipli- It must be clear to all the Rag Exec that the per- nary procedures is one that I am sure he will ception of them by the rest of IC is not a partic- come to regret. While everyone would agree ularly favourable one. People are tired of the that the RCSU can be a tad annoying at times, same old silly antics trotted out each year that this was not an example of the way a member of are beyond embarrassing, rapidly approaching this College's staff should'fcehave. Whether Julia pathetic. Rag Mags are produced where shock Knight was acting outside her remit or not, the tactics are employed as a substitute for humour 'total misapprehension about discipline at IC' is (admittedly slightly less so this year), displaying not hers; halls do have systems of fines in lieu of a mentality similar to primary school children legal action, as exemplified by Linstead. Minor leaking up rude words in a dictionary. Don't get drugs offences are often dealt with internally, me wrong, I am not suggesting that their motives rather than by the Police, where a caution would are in any way suspect. Some very worthy caus- be issued. To sneer at a polite request for infor- es are supported each year and a lot of money is mation is not becoming of a man in his position, raised. But its methods, which even the RSMU and one I suspect he would not suffer gladly criticised, have resulted in its near total alienation from one of his residents or students.
Subwardenship in Southwell Hall
The deadline for the above position has been extended to Friday 15th December. We are hoping to appoint a postgraduate student who is planning to remain at college for at least 18 months. The position is available from early January. Application forms are available from the accommodation office and should be returned to Ken Young, Department of Chemistry. NB. Southwell is a lively undergraduate Hall, people requiring sleep are advised not to apply. album: madonna - some- choice and sounds more like something from thing to remembercaroiine Bladerunner. Tilings improve with '111 Remember' trying to set the scene for an album of classic | A A AA: \ A A A A-; A "So much controversy has swirled around my Madonna: strong vocals over a decidedly '80s key- It's not released till January, career... that very little attention ever gets paid to board feel, building to the ultimate... 'Live to Tell'. ft^^SlK^:::fe.:: A AAv-A'; my music. So... I present to you this collection of It's puzzling, though, that 'Spanish Eyes' is not ballads," states Madonna on her latest album, included. reviewing it now. With lyrics 'Something to Remember'. Excellent, except that You'll See', the new singles, shows imagina- that should be on everyone even her diehard fans probably remember her tion, Hispanic overtones and a will to survive hearts and an angelic, acoustic intro building more for the likes of 'Like a Virgin', 'Into the through the '90s. The other new tracks, however, Groove', 'La Isla Bonita' and 'like a Prayer' than for are standard singer-in-nightclub songs which are the ballads. too safe to be really interesting. Nevertheless, dais album shows Madonna While 'Something to Remember' would be a doing what she does best - singing (not acting!). 'I good background tape to girlie nights in or dinner Want You' as first and last song (a faux pas that parties, mostly all it does is to invoke memories of you wouldn't expect from Madonna) is a poor slow dances at school discos back in the '80s. (6) -; iSSf AffMf gig: bruce Springsteen - Springsteen's lyrics weave stories around acoustic versions of songs thai the ghost of torn joadan human nature and rarely leave anything to the lis- 'gm$S3M: ' - A: Ai'f A A The title of Springsteen's eleventh album tener's interpretations. Feelings of resentment are acknowledges the character created by John captured in the story of two Vietnam veterans Steinbeck. More than half the tracks comprise whose paths eventually cross again. His voice car- just him and an acoustic guitar with the odd spine ries the songs beautifully, and all with a sincerity chilling harmonica thrown in. that would be laughable coming from most The album opens with the title track and pro- singers. gresses with various tales of the down to earth Accusations of hypocrisy may be justified in lives of immigrants. The immigrants in his musi- view of his constant portrayal of hard working, cal tales range from those crossing the border to middle class lives when he lives anything but a life II A| AI A'? A; A: '= A A:; A A AAA find a better life; to that of an ex-convict trying to like that. However, his ability to provide a script is Bl:llS;SiAAA«A::A^A^?^ lead a straight life, and even to war veterans trying beyond comparison and will always be the to fit back into society, like his previous albums, essence of his music. 111;!* A AAA A A A A A A this one has a very strong American flavour with This is not another 'Born To Run' and most passing references to 'Nam and life in a rural listeners will be put off by the slow moving num- ::;;;::: s:;;;:i;;N:;.;;: : AjAA^ town. bers. It is a examination of the human nature and While this may put a lot of people off, the how our basic instincts might survive or change iifiiiM^ basic theme about trying to make life worth living under the most suicidal of conditions. Let his Ii:-A|AI^U!''>AAA'\c AAA/1 under difficult social conditions is sometiring that voice be heard and you will be touched. An fftt^^^^ff^tf'^;i^:£WSi most of us can relate to in more ways than one. unquestionable (9). iff \ tltlf A AA AfA iff A il At A "f Ai" AlllAAA-;:: AA'A AAA A Aft
gig/interview: dubstarmr trout Wi^M^S^fSMf£^i^>&Xfi The gig itself, though, was quite disastrous. I enquired about the Camel lighter that Dubstar's The technical problems hinted at in the interview Kow this is taking die proverbial guitarist Steve was using to spark up his Marlboro reared their unpleasant heads at annoyingly fre- SS^S^Ml}fi'-ii :='-' ' hffWW-% light: "Actually, me mum quent intervals, with great 5|iiA|?|:V:;:/!^ ISA ^A;:1^: '.'-; - didn't know that I smoked chunks of unintentional feed- that old Frank Isn't even on it, until I sent off for it. I was off back effectively destroying any fiiif8ifififiiM£ touring so I wasn't at home to chance of creating the kind of and is newly acquired World intercept the mail. Then she atmosphere that this style of read I was smoking in Select trip hop/rock so desperately and she got really mad at me." needs. Ho, ho, the excesses of rock The high point of the set was : : and roll. the soon to be released single, ^SMSMi:4MMiifi£li:if A After that, almost anything If you are to believe the 'Not So Manic Now', which popular music press, Dubstar j seemed to capture the imagina- ^Siff^&WiMiifMifiMiM^ti have a lot going for them. tion of the crowd and the band lllllllllll'IAA- AIAOA A ,' AAIA A; Their debut album in its lazy brilliance. From there 'Disgraceful' hardly set the the gig went downhiLl, each from a land who once ^cacl chart aflame, but it took them song melting into the other. For iff-i^K^M^f^i-.' f€-i'[ fff from nothing to magazine a band noted for their diversity, 3 covers, and a fair army of fans they managed to sound very Ailil A A A Af ': ': A A. A-1- :s fil A e A in no time at all: "We have 'samey', and approached the been absolutely amazed by boundary of boredom. back the gladioli ] say. At least we the fans' reaction to the tour. WeVe Let this not detract from the unarguable each gig than the total that came to our previous quality of their album, but from this evidence, tour." Dubstar are simply not a live band. -gig: busru best singles of the year, that they're flying the flag iplpPp-' :P:iP P ' :' *
-album: aztec camera - There are a couple of tracks that pull them- selves from the mire, namely the opener 'Sun' frestoniamax (and its acoustic version 'Sunset') and 'Method of Love' with its late Beatles-type sound. Oh dear. For some years now, Roddy Frame of Unfortunately, the rest of the tracks are a collec- Aztec Camera has been hailed as one of the best tion of dreary MOR ballads that glide along inof- songwriters of his generation. He reigned fensively until, before you know it, the album is supreme in the Eighties with his jangly, guitar-rid- over and you're left thinking, "Is that it?" den pop. He's been out of the frame recendy (I It's possibly time to tell Aztec Camera (and know, it s a poor joke, but it is the end of term) coundess others) that they have to stop churning and on the basis of this album, I'm not surprised. out music based on the same old ideas, and should 'Frestonia' sounds like Aztec Camera, which look forward. This does not appeal to those of us may well be the problem. It seems that whilst who appreciate a bit of innovation in our music. I we've all got older and moved on, Roddy is stuck would advise you to avoid this album unless you in die same place as he was ten years ago. Easy lis- have run out of ideas for a Christmas present for
; : , your Aunty. (4) .d;:^rtjflddS%S^'>^:;V^?' p. Pppy.:}3 tening it is, good contemporary pop it is not. PB ifPppppy p\ipp:' p'PZPfpppp - 'XXpP. '') :;:i-j:ie" album: mcalmont & butler 'The Right Thing' starts as is if it was plagia- rised from Suede's 'Dogman Star' and 'Don't : : )){;. '.. ' "-.; :;: P 'PPPP -the sound of... nic „ k Call It Soul' shows that Bernard can play acoustic as well. 'Disappointment' is an infectious romp, So, we finally get to hear the combination of the but 'The Debtor' doesn't quite make the grade. awe inspiring axe-wielding genius that is Bernard I get the impression that sometimes Mr. Buder, formerly of Suede, and some bloke who McAlmont and Mr. Buder are playing two differ- used to be in a lousy band called the Thieves and ent tracks, what with the singing not quite fitting can sing a bit. in with the sublime guitar playing. But, when the pppxppppppppppppxyppp 'The Sound of...' gives the boys a little more two do get it right, (witness 'You do', 'Yes' and iiPPiPPi PiiPPPPPPPPPPpPpPiiP: scope for development than the two excellent sin- 'Tonight'), the plot is most definitely found and iPpXp/'S «:P;:3pP^P-py-1 ;p gles, and yes, part of that sentence was preten- given redemption at the same time. PPJ :!:.. tious nonsense. This development is basically the So, wasted talent or Siamese subliminity?? : : 'UypyPPPP'i- whole of the last two EPs with a few extra tracks The sound of McAlmont (6). The sound of 'SpPiPiPpPiPPpp^ thrown in and it takes a few listens, I can tell you. Butler (10). The weighted sound of McAlmont . Pipy After that it really gets its claws in and holds on. and Butler (7). album: u2 and brian eno - - listings passengers: original sound- below: U2 in wintry days of yore matt bianco 13-14 dec J3zz tracks Lan joyrider - 13 dec - brixton Brian Eno's work has influenced many bands and academy - £10 is hugely responsible for the shift in U2's musical felt + dissident prophet direction from a typical guitar based sound to something with a greater musical depth and vari- ety. This soundtrack is a compilation of music and earthiing 13 dec- subterania songs from a wide variety of movies that most of us are unlikely to see. A word of warning: the music here will make little impact without the 13 dec - borderline - £5 notes on the respective movies in the CD sleeve. man almond 13-14 dec shep bush empire - i 10 The opening track, 'United Colours', is the setting for a Japanese movie about a man who falls asleep and dreams while travelling on a bullet away from the complexity of the problems train. The dream descends into a nightmare and involved (hopefully solved) to that of actually liv- the whole shift of emotions from calmness to ing a life under those depressing conditions. uneasiness and finally chaos is captured musically. Howie B and Bono provide some raw energy 13 dec - forum - £13.50 Bono's voice starts the second track and he on 'Elvis Ate America' which is one the highlights still manages to convey the faint image of a man of the album. The simple music mix comple- reminiscing about a certain event. Pavarotti's voice ments the vocals beautifully, giving both singers rings out on the poignant 'Miss Sarajevo' from the ample room to roam about. documentary of the same name about a beauty U2 appear individually on the credits because contest run under mortar fire. this is not a U2 album. It is Brian Eno's genius that Although the theme of the song itself may is on display here. This is an album to delve into sound cliched, lines like "...is there a time to be a once a while when things become too simplistic 14-15 dec - wembley arena - beauty queen?" show the dark humour behind for your liking. The music often stays on a differ- the difficult conditions. It also moves the focus ent plane but it does invite you in for a visit. (8) s~''i!iiK gig: grant hart, popes 15 dec shep bush the stronglers - 15 dec - clapham Armed with only a guitar, Grant Hart comes on Mould) and 'Admiral of the Sea' to joyous fervour. black grape - 16 dec brixton with laconic candour, oblivious to the almost From where I'm standing he has an uncanny academy -£12 obsessive adulation of some of the crowd here resemblance to Lou Reed (especially with that bjoru again - I h. 17 dec - -.hop tonight. Playing a long set of stark, naked songs he beret) and my mate reckons that his lyrical con- grand - £12 really gets the audience going. In between songs cerns on one of his songs is similar too. suiipjyred 18-20 dec t25 he tugs audaciously on his bottle of whisky and Though his current album is a live one, there p.j. harvev - 19 dec - brixton tries to break the world record for the number of is a rawness lingering in the air tonight that can academy - £10 puffs taken from a cigarette. No wonder his never be captured on compact disc. It's a shame. jools hdland - 20, 21 dec - slightly gravelly and intensely emotional voice is so Interestingly, the CD (Ecce Homo) only came prodigy + < hemic al broth- good - he has obviously lived life. about because after an intra-band disagreement, lllilli^^Rr^^^^HKSil-/ There are some moments of poignant sensi- rather than cancelling an advertised Nova Mob tivity. 'Brown Eyes', for example, is captivatingly gig, Grant Hart decided to do an acoustic show. beautiful. Also acknowledging requests, he plays It's a good job he did. He's definitely worth '2541' (no doubt about his ex-band mate Bob going to see live. I Sills^S^^^'S WPP coolio - 4 jan - clapham giand - album: sidi bou said So, is it any good? Well, considering the lim- lis;;; I MS^i^^^HSil: IsfSl s:;; -"" entertain* ited quantities and the fact that it's supposed to be a thank you to the people who have seen them ^ ^pi^^Kr'-ass-v live this year, (i.e. only the most zealous Said-sters competiton: people are going to buy this) that's almost a redundant question. B^s;s^B^ii^^®-&iv^^B-: : Still, for what it's worth, this is an authentic sK.s<^«ffliSi?litl;feM^^R £ ^il^^Bss^^BsSs^Slffi; v ride through their live show, as they crash through Well, just name two of die melodic, punky numbers ('Buzz'), distinctly lewd I feel kind of lucky. Five hundred copies of this anthems ('Slitty Gap'), and punningly titled, live mini-LP are available by mail order only and rhythmic affairs ('Big Yellow Taxidermist'). Sidi il;T^ Felixhas been sent one. Okay, so you've never Bou Said may be over-strict adherents to the soft- heard of them (unless you remember their loud-soft school of limted musical creativity but Ilk llllisal WBM^&^MVMi appearance a couple of years ago at that most hal- there's an endearing quality to their B52s meets Christian on 0171 S23 8457. lowed of musical venues, the Ents Lounge), but Babes in Toyland attitude. it's a rarity, nonetheless. Who knows, one day it Maybe the Ents Lounge should get them could be worth something... back... (6) The Albums that made 1995 After much head-scratching, the votes from the Felix music team are in. So sit and relax. You are mtering a Blur and Oasis-free zone.
ft";#":': ' . > , 1. Radiohead - 'The Bends'
They turned up in half of the top 5 lists and- Thr Drlira' earned themselves the prestigious Felix album of the year award by many a mile. Some might say that they now have nothing left to achieve. Then again...
"Radiohead's strength lies in their ability to lead you unsuspectingly down a sleepy path and then lob in a grenade..." [Felix 1025)
ft ft : . ' : /|^vftSS|l|ft ft ;-A:\;/;: ^ : : 2. Pulp - 'Different Class' : V: : After twelve years of snail-like progress, Jarvis and the crew finally made it big. 'Common People', ' : ' :: 'Misshapes', 'Disco 2000' - you bought them, you ft- : 1 know them, you love them. 5 SjKwh J - 'C> Sjx<
: ft . : ft:A ; . "Jarvis uses his lyrics to drag the listener into every ft.-.':... . . song... This album kicks all of the recent 'Britpop™ albums into touch." (rTeZi%1040)
ft::':::ftft':'ft: .. .;v.- ' ' ' ' 3.= Chemical Bros. - 'Exit Planet Dust'
i! .... They were the Dust Brothers, then they became, the Chemical Brothers. Thankfully their music didn't change and the duo who have remixed just about every band under the sun finally allowed us :ftsft:ft:iftft!-ftftft:.:-: 1 'i '»»>' i- to sample some of their sampling on their own record. "The Brothers gonna work it out..." ('Leave Home') They sure did.
ft :~AW^
::;Aft:ftfti: ft , v* r 3.= Supergrass - 'I Should Coco'
They may look like extras from Planet Of The : :: Apes but you saw more in them than just evolu- i11l£fti:i;^^ ft ft i-jl:'ft«:^ ' ' A^:A!|;A : i . : . . -ft ...... tionary significance. Yes, the Oxford whippersnap- pers won your hearts over with such catchy ditties as 'Caught By The Fuzz', 'Mansize Rooster',
: :ftft;:t;ykfe^:-ftjft. 'Lenny', and the monster hit, 'Alright'. A debut album bulging at the seams with singles, in other
;ft:ft words.
'n. Fbs&aftiffisiiil 5. Tricky - 'Maxinquaye'
:; . . . ft.': The most talented Bristol artist of them all. This is- an angry record that, instead of ranting like a spoilt brat, articulates its message with a breadth of musical emotions. 'Hell Waits Round the Corner' :;x::ftftft/ftft;E;.: + i '..Vf . ( sounds just like that while 'Black Steel' is a bold and brilliant version of the Public Enemy classic. And anyone who can cover Public Enemy and come away with dignity intact has got to be good. film: the shooter pooky film: dr jekyll and ms hyde™^ IfcAAiA; ftft;Sft ft.ft AA; BtaAii'B In an attempt to break out of his tough-guy-with- The ultimate battle of the sexes, or excuse to see : A Si A; 1 A> A A? ft A Aft AA A; A!' A no-brains image Dolph Lundgren stars in this a man in womans' clothing? No, just another : : A' '. A ; ;||I;S; . lame political European thriller. He plays a US predictable film jazzed up using special effects. ' ft AAA / ;;; j AS : AAAV 1S AAA; : A; A A Federal Marshal sent to Prague to extradite Dr Richard Jacks just happens to be the great- 'StaB*^^ Simone Rosset (Maruschka Detmers), an ex- grandson of the infamous Dr Jekyll, and when he ^^iK^^fWk'iWSff'i political assassin, who the CIA believe bumped inherits his Victorian ancestors notebooks he SBABBta i .AS; off the Cuban Ambassador to America. Dolph, winds up dabbling in the human genome. In an however, doesn't think she did it but reluctantly attempt to alter the aggression gene for Dr Jacks s-Bsfffi agrees to go after her. After several chase metamorphoses instead into a woman. ftl A!AftlftS-SA; AAA'S, "ft : '*'.A;i.. ;.. sequences he manages to catch her and learns Rapidly inflating breast, disappearing penis, ASS AS. ft ft; ftft'SIS";A : ft c II S SB she is being set up as the scape-goat for another longer hair and finger nails are the least of Dr 'AWiAA|fS;<^^EyAA: ftftSSpft:1
assassination at the Cuban-American summit in Jacks problems when his alter ego Helen Hyde ] II ASS'' ;:l' 'ftS; : S|H A S'S ftSI S';b' IA AS'; ft Prague. Consequently they must dodge both decides to take over his life and job. However Dr BStBBBBSBS: sides in an attempt to stop the assassination. Jacks life is not what you would call ideal, his SBSft; .SAft'lll.'ftlSBBftftftAftAftAA Unfortunately the film far too quickly work at a perfume company, creating stxmning fttalS'ftiiiASftfti becomes formulaic with the final twist being smells, is stagnant and he is so consumed by his A Aft A-i A ftA SS; AS: ; A llSt A^ ABftSSSStaf S;: ftS-'ftftSSft'lS A;:. obvious from the first few scenes. There was a home experiments that his fiancee Sarah SSsS'i-ftftSSftlftf chance to make a taut European political thriller (Lysette Anthony) needs little persuasion to . SSSftS' S:S; i: AlSllllllv-. Bft S'SS;;;;;t;;.: Aft A but instead the film opts for indistinctive action leave him. Helen, on the other hand, uses her lASlft ft'SISSSSftftft;-;is';ft; ft;ft:A;S;lBS;SlSS:ft.ft; ^; " " ftftft:A sequences. There was the chance for some inter- sexuality and other natural assets to climb up I'ftSlftlftftAIIAA' ft ftSISlSBSSftft' B esting development of the personality crisis as through the ranks of the perfume company. ' "iWlh;-;^pjcS,S^^11ffl»ftS; the Marshal returns to his childhood town, but This film is predictable, as it is obvious Dr WAAV!3|^'03^^^1SS:MA.ft all possibility of this was lost by casting Dolph Jacks is going to change into a woman in a public ISA : lAftft';ft;Si|:|:fSSlSlftft; ; SlpA-ft i Sft Lundgren - the man who makes stone seem place at the wrong time and Helen into a man "ASAAft-jftA.-iftft..:;.ftSSSSSftS;Aftft.Aft^;'ftAftAftA=;.7Aftftftft: 'ftft: v charismatic. when she is just about to seduce someone. There AA^ A'AviSA& Aft; ft'; !A The film would have benefited from a more are some funny moments in the film but that ftftl' I'.: 'ft. ftftftft'ftSlft; SSftftS'l ASfftft^S::.!:.: European style instead of the banal Hollywood goes for all bad comedies. Everyone knows the AAA" jg... yggg^yg^^ ;lftl:ftftl:: ;sll;SA ftlSSift; Aft'-'A A:ftft one. Ultimately The Shooter fires blanks and original Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde and this spoof amounts to notiting out of the ordinary (the only goes down with a pinch of salt, or a pinch of American ordinary). salt, lime and several tequilas.
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GET READY - GET FRESH! Access, Visa, Mastercard, Cash, Cheques "film: seven™ iagpie The use of the NYPD Blues shaky cam adds to the chase scenes when the officers seem close to Seven whats? Dwarves? Definitely not, Seven is John Doe., and the build up to the discovery of about the seven deadly sins - gluttony, greed, another body. However, as the film murders on, M^SIKM^XSP s:MX$iM sloth, envy, wrath, pride and lust - and a serial Somerset and Mills discover that great planning killer who makes his mark by murdering has gone into these killings and that John Doe is ^'777s 7; 7 33:' culpritsof these sins. Is he cleansing a society full pure evil. of sins or is he just another madman and a master The story line is thoroughly absorbing and y : 33SBSi 3333: 7/777777-;..':77 : of murder? Seven is frightening and disturbing the finale maintains the dark, foreboding feel of and very hard to forget. 1.40, 4.20. 7,9.40 When the first body, a man who had been ;:J;j'^ylt;;- y:0::": ^7' ? 5-:" '|:t7;:: d^lg;!?: force fed until his stomach popped, is found, Lt. William Somerset (Morgan Freeman) and : S;7:7^ ;:^:;::7'-v;7;;;;; ;.t7^/:':-:: v7:s7;77.v7'yry^|::i'7;::; Detective David Mills (Brad Pitt) are teamed up 77; ,7; 7777:?<77-7 ? ' 77 :3.':': ~" :' :'': ' " ' ',:" and placed on the investigation. Somerset is an ageing cop on the verge of retiring, and embarks goktaieye 12.55,3.40 6.25,9.15 on his last assignment to break-in his replace- ment, Mills, and to solve these murders. Somerset just wants to retire: he has faced the 3fi:7f ;77:77777:7 : 7|| fact that one man can't make a difference, but 7777777;. -/ '7777/: his old instincts tell him that this murder is just the start of something larger. This attitude : 7777/777// 7;.77777 conflicts with Mills style of investigation, as Mills is prepared to forsake anything to track down ' 7 ' 77j 7*7; 7;- Q 7/7.:- /. ; ,,/j this deranged killer. Somerset is a thinking man /.... i7;. 7 ': 7:;777 ;.7/:'' / : who tries to outwit his opponent. /7177./ Seven goes out of its way to shock the audi- the film. Both performances from Freeman and X:WiXiX3A3.:M ence; the murders are gruesome and deeply Pitt are excellent. Freeman again plays a veteran tlRS';;/ disturbing, to the extent that the film will linger character with his old ways and wiseman aura, -1777j ij:77' 7; 77;:; 7 ^ 7-77777. :7^ ;|.;; in my mind for a few days. Seven was filmedi n while Pitt just shows maturity. ! y::;:£3:i::777^ 77. ^i-; :7:77:-" > 7^77:=;-7; ;'. :.j;7;; v: 7 ;77;:7 : a way that expressed a feeling of depression and Seven will stir emotions, and in parts your 333SS:3:'S3 :77777..777" 777: decay in this metropolis, the dark world that stomach too. Well worth checking out. 777... 7i777;v.t.-7; ... 3M3-.iXM.l%MX-3 ; : John Doe, the killer, apparently wants to cleanse. Seven is on general release from 5 th January 1996.
pT33 PS 3MzXXX&y^3S\: film: the swan princess™ ho because she's beautiful. Being a typical man, ^ ::'' sXXS:':3:W3X : Derek cannot express such sentiments to her '\SM : : Vr;-:^r:i£: j" i:?:-i: "---=:--" "-7 I ^":- -"" I:: - E -! "-^1! 7 - - -:-7-77.7. :/ 77777;777;77;;7;:.;7;77777 Queen Uberta arranging meetings every Jack Palance), an evil sorcerer who wants to take over King William's kingdom. He keeps Odette prisoner deep in the forests and turns her into a swan. The spell is broken temporarily when moonlight falls on her wings but the only way she can break the spell forever is if she agrees to '3::3']'3:'':r. , .: : marry Rothbart or if Derek makes a vow of true love. ; : ;7f77fe;;7:,;7v7;7>.-;j:7 In the forest, Odette meets and makes :' : er... puffin. %3:>i S3:::s::3SS-3\' /:\77/ The Swan Princess is a competent imitation .' ' . :. .'. '/-. / ia33iySp:%33:v'-ri:S- of the Disney formula. It is peppered with ener- 33§]WsPS3l' getic tunes although these are a bit too suaiilar to stick in the mind for long. The animation is smooth and well drawn even if it is not nearly as summer between the king's daughter Princess impressive as the Disney greats. Odette and the queen's son Prince Derek (not a The story has many ingredients to impress great name for a prince it has to be said) in the the under nines: an evil sorcerer; a handsome hope that they will fall in love and marry. prince and a beautiful princess. Not only will The When the prince and princess grow up, they Swan Princess succeed in keeping children's do fall in love. Odette wants Derek to marry her attention but also, it will entertain the grown-ups because he loves her for who she is not just accompanying them over the holiday period. SIXTEEN . FELIX WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 1 3TH 1995 CROSSWORD T3 u £ a O S u o x mmm _ H 63. Pond goes round in circles (4) 100. Approximate sketch (5) Across: subject (5) 33. Note on South African plain (4) 66. Rude person makes statement 101. Follows algebra class results (9] 1. To marry might be the end, say, in 35. Hellish poet? (5) about bodies (8) 103. Cane used badly in these spots midweek (9) 37. Tax on a barrel, perhaps (3) 67. Cult television empire? (7) 6. * (4) 38. Highest point of the dump (3) 70. Set up in cycle, on a stand (7) 10. Fruit has sharp taste from island 104. * 75. * to the east (9) 39. * 105. * 76. It predicts that small boat might 15. I am very good - or very bad! (7) 40. Coat of arms (9) 106. Birdsong is heard from hat (6) 41. There's value in lightness - it can lose a bit (6) 107. * 16. Fish is put here, they say! (6) fly (8) 77. Boil in jam (6) 108. Allow to give knighthood? (7) 17. Soft attempt to catch led to fall 44. * 78. * 110. Support, and the blues are (6) 46. Wall painting 79. Many are after sweet fabric (5) good! (6) 18. * 47. Tribe uses old money to live by 82. * 111. Reproductive organ is shameful 20. Strange sneer at sea-eagles (5) (5) 83. Appear to take place (5) (6) 21. Put down a prototype note (6) 48. Region (4) 85. Discontent with desire (4) 112. Sam and Tina have combined to 23. The black stuff will sink, mostly 5L Lost a quarter out of Thermos 86. Time for a fight on the lorry (5) endure it (7) (4) when shell exploded (4) 90. Poignant 114. Suggestion that pub in fashion- 24. River mouths are badly salted (6) 53. Immigrant is quiet at ceremony 91. To write a song about it is a bad able district has nothing (8) 26. Best boy returns from the master (4) thing (8) 115. Cut down by Scottish lake - it's (5) 55. Fruit left by oyster? (5) 92. A dance in Hell? (5) futile (10) 29. London underground police are 57. Continental money for bird (3) 95. * 116. Criticises second element in a clear (5) 59. * 98. Set tasks on chart can be moved mess (8) 31. Sets up the platforms (4) 62. Ignore the southern German? (4) round (9) 32. Several came to pick up the CROSSWORD AND CLUBS FELIX WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 1 3TH 1995 . SEVENTEEN Down: 25. * (8) arbiter (8) 1. * 27. Amphibian is no non-drinker! (5) 56. Too modest to throw? (3) 86. Mock drink of the south-east (5) 2. Boy becomes an old monk (9) 28. Group of eight (5) 58. * 87. Place of departure (11) 3. Noblemen (5) 29. Middle of time of plague (6) 60. Diver on southern island (5) 88. Whale oil 4. Shared out benefits to daughter (5) 30. Many agree with colours (4) 61. Greater part born by the 89. Those in scarlet had assembled in 5. Argue over pay (3) 31. Ushers might make a monkey (6) smallest one (5) churches (10) 6. * 34. Copper in prayer for insight (6) 64. Revolutionary 92. Chicken eats plaited straw? (7) 7. Last part of search under bridge (4) 35. * 65. Soft and luxurious material (5) 93. Security agency has hundreda of 8. Makes holes in bad laws (4) 36. Group of nine Greek stories I 68. To shout in pain is cowardly! (6) covers and bugs! (8) 9. Breeding club in the doghouse (6) heard (6) 69. Write back in French and hold 94. First spoken about one drink (7) 10. To point with a digit (4) 42. * place (6) 95. Warn that first hour wil be used 11. Approaches answer haphazardly, 43. 1 am back in divine lesson (6) 71. Wanderer is not foolish! (5) up (8) and lost a quarter (5) 45. Record on top over nickname (7) 72. Work in happy surroundings is 96. Steals the scene! (8) 12. English put down antelope (5) 49. Love to stir around in dish (7) awkward (5) 97. At the bottom (7) 13. Laziness (9) 50. Used scarves to point out crack 73. * 99. It props up the last page! (7) 102. Tag as firm which makes hot 14. Three points for any one bored (8) 74. Courage of the messenger (5) sauce (7) (5) 52. Sharp cry (4) 80. * 19. Glimpse card-game explosion (8] 53. * 81. Small measure of a play (5) 109. * 22. Explorer 54. Recall something about element 84. A magician might trick the 113. * Fit the unclued (*) shaded words in here: d) __/ / (75A, 113D, 107A) i) / (104A, 105A) a) (18A) e) / (53D, 78A) ])___/. / (113D, 44A, 73D) b) /___/___/ f)___/ (58D,95A) k) __/ / (82A, 109D, 113D, 6A) g) (39A) (6D, 109D, 113D, 59A) c) _ _/_ (35D.80D) h) / (44A, ID) 1) / _ _ (25D, 42D) Level 3, the Union. Programmes filmed on exploration soc stoic schedule alternate Wednesday afternoons include: The Report News and features review programme Christmas lecture: Everest 1922 & 1933. Thursday 14th - Friday 15th December 1995 designed to keep students informed enlightened December 14th, 12.30 pm. Chem Eng LT 1 and entertained. 12.30 MovieZone Christmas Special Reviews and MovieZone Reviews of all the new film releases previews of Christmas cinema releases including plus all the latest from behind the scenes. finance society Casino, Sabrina, Babe and The Santa Clause Level 3 Entertainment, games, music and comedy 13.00 Level 3 Christmas Special! with absolutely no Paul Daniels. We also film McKinsey and Co: the strategic consulting Entertainment show with a seasonal feel and a sports, short films, pub and club reviews and environment. 14th December, 5pm. Clore LT nutty twang. Christmas games, shopping, music documentaries amongst other things. and films with all the trimmings and extra talent. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all, especially our members, especially the ones osc week Anyone interested in taking part in our who've paid their membership. Have a brill programmes should see us on Wednesdays, lpm, Chrimbo and don't overdo the turkey. A couple of weeks ago, the annual overseas week brought a real multicultural feel to the JCR haven for all you swing fans, as the "Sex on the with over 18 of our societies setting up stands xmas carnival Beach" crew bring you swing, soul, hip-hop, showing off their respective countries. Apart from calypso and jungle in a room you just won't the impressive displays, many stalls had regional So here it is... Merry Christmas! recognise and won't want to leave. delicacies to sample - gastronomic and musical! With just 2 days to go things are hotting up Finally, the Pop Tarts are in the Ents Lounge, Every year, OSC week gives people the chance to for the festivities that make up the ICU Christmas with live cabaret from the goldfish-swallowing reacquaint themselves with the overseas societies Carnival, and we're here to give you a final taster Stevie Starr (The Regurgitator), and music from a they never quite got round to investigating during of what exactly will make this event so different to 5-piece Steel Band, guaranteed to bring a little freshers week, as well as increasing awareness of anything else you've ever seen in the Union. sunshine into the bleakest midwinter. Plus 4 hours the wealth of cultures represented here at IC. The most obvious thing will be the decor - of top pop and party sounds for your pleasure. The event was a huge success. Most of the each floor will be themed, using banners, drapes As if all that wasn't enough, there's also overseas societies took part and all provided a and lighting to reflect the music being played on it. (weather permitting) a gyroscope, bash-a-rat, colourful display of their culture. Warm thanks to We're going to leave the exact details 'til the night coconut shy, and darts game in the Quad (if it all the societies who took part. The Hellenic, so you can have something to look forward to! snows, we'll be ready - well, we'll be moving it all Spanish, Lebanese, Sri-Lankan and Scandinavian Each room has a different music policy: to the Gym!), and a ski-board simulator in the socs also held events, and their discos and dinners starting at the top of the building, the Concert Hall Gym. were great successes. Well done! is dedicated to pure upfront club sounds, with 6 Put all that together, add a 2am bar (3 o'clock It's a good omen for International Night DJs bringing their own top quality dance and a finish), and you've got the best £6 (or £5 with 1996, the biggest OSC event of the year, due to brilliant light show with 3 colour laser - happening Entscard) you're ever likely to spend at Imperial. If take place on March 1st. Preparations are up and enough for even the most hardened clubber. you've not got a ticket, then run to the Union running... UDH will be transformed into a darkened Office NOW to see if there're any left. EIGHTEEN . FELIX WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 13TH 1995 LETTERS received a letter from the registrar a Homophiles Letters to Felix: few weeks ago giving essentially the same information. But if Julia would Dear Felix, EDITED BY MARCUS ALEXANDER like more detail she has an open invi- I would like to offer an impor- tation to discuss it with myself. tant correction to the Welfare supple- Yours sincerely, ment in Felix of 1 December 1995. Sex! Aid uments Dr Gareth Jones The telephone number for the College Tutor London Lesbian and Gay Dear Felix, Dear Felix, Switchboard is 0171 837 7324. The Having read Suzanne In response to your article last Dear Rachel, number may well be engaged the first McDermott's letter on the 23/11, week entitled 'Welfare snubbed by After reading remarks about time you call, but keep trying with concerning male/female ratios at IC; Prof. There is an important issue at Professor New made in Felix 1043, I the redial button. They have all kinds the letter concluded by advising the stake here. A certain union sabbatical just want to comment that one would of information about places to go, IC man to stop working and drinking appears to have a selective memory of be very hard pressed to find a groups to contact and they are also in the bar with the lads. Perhaps what the welfare meeting with the ex- Professor at IC more dedicated to the there simply to talk to. Ms McDermott fails to grasp is that is union advisor [...] I wanted to pro- welfare and well being of students People can contact Imperial exactly what most IC men do. I like duce a leaflet that was not already than Professor New. Queers, the lesbian, gay and bisexual going down the bar with mates and 1 available in the Union office, specifi- "It's just his way, he's just like society here at Imperial College like women as well. What is it about cally about hall matters. that" either by writing to us care of the these two that makes them so incom- I went out of my way to obtain Jelle Beinen Union, or by email to pink- patible? Perhaps the real question is first hand information from the hall Mathematics RA [email protected] and there is more the amount of attention given to one wardens on the matter of student dis- (Falmouth Keogh subwarden information on http://pink.doc.ic. rather than the other. On one hand, cipline. The response I got was poor 1990-1993) ac.uk/IC/ why should I have to join a club or do and sarcastic [...] Sarah White, ICU Ashley Lumsden something 1 really don't want to, just President, was totally unsympathetic Correction to last Felix issue: President IQ to meet a woman, as Ms McDermott — as usual [...] If Prof New's attitude RE: Letter from Julia Knight to advises. On the other hand it looks is 'just his way', then perhaps it is Prof Hall Smokin' like blokes are just stuck with it here time he changed it! This appears to be The Chairman at Bernard at IC. the general attitude of many college Sunley should have been referred to Dear Felix, Leo Rowe and union officials these days. It as Union Representative of the House The letter published last week Physics MCMXIV appears that they are totally absorbed - this stops confusion between the on smoking in the JCR expressed a in their sad little political games and warden - the Chairman of the House problem that affects many students forget the reason that any of them are Committee, who did not partake in {Felix 1043). At the moment the JCR Car Crashes! here at all, THE STUDENTS. While any comment on the letter [to Geoff does not serve its purpose as a stu- the majority of the student body New quoted] in Felix. dent common room because, despite seem so apathetic towads union Dear Felix, Robert Park numerous signs which are clearly visi- affairs, a little less criticism of those I'm not sure what Ms Wingrove (BSH union rep) ble from every angle, heavy smoking who are prepared to take an active possibly hopes to achieve by her con- is still commonplace [...] part might produce a more positive stant whingeing (Letters, Felix 1043). Apparently Geoff New has written It is an established fact that for reponse. As a driver given charge of £25,000 to Julia to apologise for the misun- non-smokers, inhaling smoke-filled worth of minibus, perhaps a little Sincerely, derstanding and upset. So maybe air is both a nuisance and a major more care in the first place would have Julia Knight everyone will be happy ever after. health hazard, thus making the place been prudent; after all, the evidence (RCSU Welfare Officer) unusable for these people, who also does point to the fact that she had Fire! happen to be the majority of stu- been driving for too long in one stint Dear Felix, dents. Since the JCR is supposed to when she damaged the bus. The news item in your 1st Dear Felix, be accessible to everyone, the union Ms Wingrove's accusations are ill- December issue headed "Welfare After another Friday night fire has a responsibility for ensuring that founded. The damage done to the Snubbed by Prof" may have raised a alarm, I'd just like to put a few mis- its no-smoking policy is complied vehicle was more than just a scratch few eyebrows and may also have conceptions straight. Most impor- with. Those who would like to light and there are several people who can given the wrong impression. I think tantly — contrary to many opinions, their cigarettes should be asked to do vouch for this fact. Her repeated sug- most students would be surprised by we do not set the alarms off as a drill so in Davinci's or in the quiet space gestions that we should just have the headline and by the tone of some — when the alarm goes off, myself between the JCR and SCR. touched up the paintwork are irra- of the comments in the article as they and the stewards clear the building Yours sincerely, tional in the extreme and point to false will be aware of the dedication shown because as far as we are concerned Y. Hatami EE4 economy. Anyone can see that Where by Wardens to the cause of student there is a potential life threatening this has been done in the past on some welfare; they devote a large part of incident occurring. Adding up of the older minibuses there are now their time and energy to helping stu- Believe me, clearing 600 stu- rusting holes in the bodywork. dents in their halls and to sorting out dents in various stages of intoxication Dear Felix, [...jMost unions have no more difficult problems. Geoff New has is no fun at the best of times and I read with disappointment the than one or two knackered minibuses; always been and continues to be, a when our major concern is your safe- article 'Calculator Ban in Exams' on users of the ICU fleetshould recognise prime example of this dedication. ty, it is definitely made harder by Felix 1034. I am deeply disappointed the value of the service [...] < As regards the comments attrib- people refusing to leave so they can that the College Board of Examiners Finally Ms Wingrove must surely uted to myself, your readers would finish their drinks, or because "it's made the decision without any prior be aware that when she hired the never guess from what was written just another drill" [...] So please help notification to the students of such minibus she signed to accept responsi- that I made it very clear to your us, when you hear an alarm, please discussion, let alone any consultation. bility for the bus. Had she remem- reporter when he telephoned me that leave the building. If it is not a gen- [...] I cannot imagine how a 'par- bered this she may well have had no 1 could not comment on a letter I had uine situation, at least we can readmit ity of treatment' can be achieved if reason to complain about an accident not seen but that I was sure Geoff you quicker! students are asked to use some col- which would have been so easily avoid- New had no intention of hurting any- [...] there is no such thing as a lege-issued, unfamiliar calculators, ed with a little thought. one's feelings. false alarm. We'd feel a lot better if which they may have seen only once or twice beforehand, under the criti- Yours, I know that Geoff sent Julia everyone remembers that. cal time and psychological pressure in Matthew Crompton Knight a further letter before the Cheers, the end-of-year exam AND achieve Deputy President Felix article appeared giving the infor- Mark the best results. (Finance &! Services) mation she wanted and Julia also Events and Marketing Manager LETTERS & EDITORIAL FELIX WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 13TH 1995 NINETEEN I appreciate the difficulty for less and needy. It is a shame we do ed fools who seem to think that using invigilators to check every calculator not have your support. drugs is about being 'cool'. Of course in the examination hall. This, howev- Yours sincerely I'm not saying that this problem is Felix er, is not a justification to void the Jon Lambert, Rag Chair exclusive to IC but think about it; if students' right to choose a calculator Mark Harrison, Rag Treasurer you did a survey asking people what FOUNDED 1949 to use. I would like to suggest an types of drugs they had tried or reg- PRODUCED FOR AND ON BEHALF OF alternative [...]: Bollocks did nobody ask how much ularly used, I think you could be jus- IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION In Hong Kong, students sitting you'd raised so far — the reason we tified in interpreting the results for PUBLICATIONS BOARD for open examinations are allowed couldn't put in a figure was that dope use (and similarly for other PRINTED BY THE IMPERIAL COLLEGE only to use calculators that carry when we talked to you, no-one could types of drug) as follows: UNION PRINT UNIT approval stamps issued by the Hong tell us. 1) People who have tried dope = BEIT QUAD PRINCE CONSORT ROAD Kong Education Authority. Prior to people who know someone who has. LONDON SW7 2BB the exams, students need to submit Ribbons 2) People who regularly use dope = TELEPHONE/FAX 0171 594 8072 the calculators they intend to use to people who use it when their broth- EDITOR: RACHEL WALTERS the HKEA, who will examine the cal- Dear Rachel, er's dodgy mate offers it to them. PRINTERS: ANDY THOMPSON AND culators and mark the machines with I was very disappointed to see 3) People who use it daily = people JEREMY a stamp. Subsequently only calcula- that Felix 1043 on 1st December did who buy and use it occasionally. BUSINESS MANAGER: JULIETTE DECOCK tors that carry the approval stamp are not pay more attention to World Aids One columnist claimed that he ADVERTISING MANAGER: WEI LEE allowed to be used in the exam venue Day. There are, as I'm sure you're had spoken to an IC dealer. Maybe, COPYRIGHT FELIX 1995. [ ] aware, still a lot of myths about HIV but I wouldn't be surprised if this ISSN 1040-0711 A similar scheme may be imple- and AIDS which your paper could 'dealer' was just someone who once mented in the College. Students have helped dispel with an article sold some stale weed to a mate. You fatigue could be asked to submit their calcu- about how HIV is contracted and see, people who use dope and other lators to either their departments or spread, and what can be done to pre- drugs because they ENJOY them and Thanks to an inordinate num- the Board of Examinors for approval vent it [...] especially those who sell them don't ber of letters this week I have been checks; only those machines that Too many people think of HIV tend to show off about it and make a relegated to a rather small corner: comply to the Board's requirement and AIDS as being 'someone elses song and dance. jolly good really. It's almost will be given the approval [...] problem'. It isn't. It will not go away So come on Felix, please don't bore Christmas, and quite frankly Felix is I hope this will help the Board if ignored. It is here amongst us. The us with such fashionnable discourses looking forward to a quiet few days maintain a control on what calcula- only way at present to combat it is to on drug use, especially if it is done in eating turkey and doing little else. tors are used in examinations without educate everyone in safer sex prac- such an unprofessional way. After a week when one employee of facing the students with a difficult tices. Felix provides an ideal medium Rupert Ingham the Imperial College Union Print situation where they have to use to get the message across to people Civ Eng. Unit managed to get taken to hospi- unfamiliar instruments in crucial who aren't going to pick up a safer sex tal with concussion and the other moments of their academic assess- leaflet somewhere. I hope, in the not If a Felix reporter writes about hav- came down with a rather peculiar ments. Moreover, this would save the too distant future, you will publish an ing spoken to a dealer, it is most like- skin disease, quite frankly we're all College a considerable sum of money article, to which I would be only to ly that it is because they have, in fact, in need of a few days to put our feet on purchasing calculators. happy to contribute. just spoken to a dealer, and not 'just up... Yours sincerely, Yours sincerely, someone who once sold some stale Eric Chan Nigel Russell MED weed to a mate'. If however you wish happy happy joy joy to delude yourself otherwise then Chem Eng IV Which leaves me only to wish you feel free to do so. Our job is merely I couldn't agree more, and eagerly all a rather jolly Christmas and ask to bring information to you, and if Rag and bones to await your contribution... though on that no one gets too offended by the reading your letter one resident Felix you choose to ignore it and carry on not at all serious felixed bit. All in pick wag announced that AIDS day isn't spouting your own ill-informed ideas the best possible taste. A very big relevant to Imperial because no one then that is your prerogative. We can thank you to everybody that's con- Dear Felix, has sex here. give you the facts, but we can't force tributed this term, with a special We would like to correct a few you to think about them. On anoth- note of appreciation to the facts that were included in Mark Non-dedicated er note, your equation 'people who Conservative Society for making it Bridge's article last week. Firstly, the have tried dope = people who know all so much fun. Thank you very Beer Festival did not make a loss as someone who has' simply implies much for the Christmas card - it has been claimed. In fact the event Reader that people who have tried dope are was very touching, although perhaps made a small profit despite having a Dear Felix, people who know someone who has; the lipstick on the envelope wasn't lower attendance than previous years. I am not a dedicated reader of a foregone conclusion, surely. Thus, strictly necessary, boys... Mr Ingham, you reveal yourself not Over £1200 was raised during your "student newspaper", but it ps the rest of Rag Week [...] This has often provides light entertainment of only to be small minded, arrogant pushed Rag's total this year to just a Friday morning. I have noticed the and (despite your protestations) Felix will be back on January over £4500. The reason that we were higher standard of the content this naive, but a poor logician as well. 12th: contributiuons by the end of unable to comment on this figure is year over last and have been struck by Monday 8th, please. that no-one from Felix bothered to a scattering of surprisingly diverse ask! and interesting articles. Imagine my | Letters may be edited | EDITORIAL TEAM: Secondly, the Dirty Disco. Rag dismay then to find the majority of I for length. The guest j NEWS: ALEX FEAKES assisted with this event, providing the issue 1042 devoted to an adolescent FEATURES: MARK BAKER float, some of the publicity and mak- and frankly boring discussion of ] editor's opinions are j MUSIC: VIK BANSAL ing all of the bookings for the Disco. drugs; ecstasy in particular. For good- j not necessarily those of CINEMA: WEI LEE ness' sake GROW UP! We asked the RSMU on several occa- the editor j PHOTOGRAPHY: DIANA HARRISON sions whether they required any more The articles seemed to make out & WILLIAM LORENZ assitance, and were assured that no that IC was some kind of drugs haven | Deadline for letters in SPORT: JONATHAN TROUT more help was required. We eagerly or opium den. Call me naive if you Felix 1045: 6pm PUZZLES: CATFISH await a receipt for the proceeds, as like (you'd be wrong) but I really can- SCIENCE: BEN WILKINS promised. not believe that IC has a major drugs January 8th. [...] Rag are as strong as ever and problem, if indeed any drugs problem \ Please bring your union \ COLLATING LAST WEEK: at all. Where IC's problem lies is in will keep doing what we do best — card for identification. \ MARK AND BEN collecting money for the sick, home- the large proportion of narrow mind- I DELIVERIES: MARK AND IVAN TWENTY . FELIX WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 1 3TH 1995 SPORT Hat Trick Seals Fine FELIX SPORT Win ICAFC II 4 - 1 UCL II This league fixture began as a bit of a grudge match after IC came Virgins Satisfied back from 5-1 down to win 6-5 in the cup earlier this season. Both teams made a positive start VIRGINS 5 - 0 BART'S Tackling was of a high stan- with Ike Ombala scoring for With the return of Shiner Evans dard throughout the game, and Scientists Imperial after a powerful run from injury IC Virgins played to running from the forwards most into the box. His second came their strengths in their first impressive. The only score of the Brave the from the penalty spot after He league match, showing last game came from Evans, a superb was brought down en route to week's defeat at the hands of the solo effort, in which she covered Arctic goal. After a sustained period of Vet College to be a mere aberra- nearly half the pitch after receiv- pressure, UCL pulled a goal back tion. ing the ball at fly half. RCSRUFC 3 - 3 W C F B just before half time; this pres- IC started in confident fash- The score would have been With all the other college Rugby sure continued after the break, ion with the forwards obtaining even more in IC's favour had it matches cancelled due to the until Ike Ombala's third strike finished the game off- again good ball from the scrums allow- not been for some handling snow, we were thoroughly from the penalty spot, this time ing the backs opportunities to errors in vital situations. delighted (honestly, we were) sending the goalkeeper the make ground through intelligent Overall though, a vast when our skipper informed us wrong way. A fourth was soon running. The back line was well improvement on the disaster that our match at Northolt, added when Ike's run and square organised despite all but the that was the last game, demon- against the Western Command pass set up a simple chance for scrum-half playing in unfamiliar strating the importance of team- Fire Brigade was still on. Rob Ochola. UC fought hard, positions. work and commitment. Kicking off in the middle of but some stout defence, notably a blizzard, three inches of snow, from Will Scott, safeguarded the and a 'swirly-whirly-wind', we scoreline. face the daunting prospect of a Rather Silly Samoan-sized front row and a distinctly French-looking three- quarter back line. Fortunately Sports News Mnemonic for us, the arctic blasts of wind Sunderland AFC moved to the top halted our opposition in their of the Endsleigh League Division One RSM seem to be playing some This match included a fif- tracks, and a powerful pack per- after a sensational six-nil win over that good football these days. Despite teen minute hat trick from man formance in the second half saw morning's leaders Milwall. Craig Russell their first team's admittedly of the match Mark, who added IC ahead by 3-0. Despite our scored four goals. lucky win over LSE, the seconds his fourth goal just ten minutes dedicated defending though, we move from strength to strength. later. were unable to hold the firemen Mike Atherton's unbeaten 198 was Not content with a 4-0 tri- Despite an attempted come- out for ever, and a penalty in the hailed as one of the greatest innings of all umph over fellow CCU side St back on the second half, there dying minutes levelled the time, enabling England's cricketers to Mary's, they went on to thrash was no way that IC would let match. snatch a draw from the jaws of defeat. St Georges by a mighty six goals them back into the game, and to one on Saturday. emerged worthy winners. C&G Rally Around FOOTBALL YACHTING Due to bad planning and a the wheel was the source of MEN'S complete absence of any com- another's demise. I got to the IC II 4 - 1 UCL II SUNSAIL REGATTA mon sense our first rally took end and waited for the winner to IC IV 3 - 3 QMW IV place in December. The starting arrive, only to find myself diving IC CAME 1 OTH OUT OF j RSM 2-0 LSE THE TOP TWENTY TEAMS field of seven was quickly whit- out of the way of Steve Barnes' B. RSM II 4 - 0 MARY'S II IN THE COUNTRY. tled down, with 'Devil's Elbow' 2CV, which powerslid across the RSM II 6 - 1 GEO'S II taking its inevitable toll on one line almost completely under ROWING racer, whilst dozing off behind control. Road-rage-heaven, man! RUGBY WOMEN'S WALTON SMALL BOATS IC Athletics Clubs VIRGINS 5 - 0 BARTS HEAD 1995 Committee is IC WON. EVERYTHING. sponsored by III * MEN'S RCS 3 - 3 WCEB AS USUAL. LAYERS Kits and Sports Equip