Laurier's Official Student Newspaper The Cord Weekly

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Volume 42 Issue 9 Wednesday October 9 2002 www.wlusp.com Strike enters week four Faculty association holds rally in support of WLUSA as strike nears full month

cerns the faculty had as to break- Stefan Sereda downs affecting their teaching. The crowd listened to a variety Car horns, shouts, an array of of speakers, including Faculty drums and a marching band creat- Member Dr. Joyce Lorimer, who ed an attention-grabbing cacopho- condemned the University's stub- ny last week on University Avenue. bornness at the bargaining table. Yet again, the shrill rallying cry of "Mediation is supposed to be a faculty, staff and students process of give and take." stated announced WLUSA's stance on the Dr. Lorimer through a mega- picket lines. phone. She then asserted that At SEREDA On Thursday, October 3rd, at this moment there is no mutuality 3:oopm Laurier's Faculty in this process. There has been STEFAN rally, in support of WLUSA Association held a rally in support movement and willingness to The band strikes up a song at this past week's Faculty Association held of the striking staff. The rally took engage in meaningful negotia- place at the corner of Hazel and tions on the union side, but none Bob Rosehart was confronted on at it. behind closed-doors. University, and in attendance were on the university side," to which the issue of contracting out by fac- The University announced an Despite the recess and the approximately the crowd chant- ulty members in the DAWB on emergency meeting of WLITs onset of chill weather, WLUSA is 200 members of ed "Shame!" Monday, and Dr. Peter Eglin took Senate as well. To hold an emer- determined to continue with their the staff and fac- "Mediation is sup- Dr. Lorimer, to the Concourse to distribute his gency meeting, the Senate strike. At the rally, a member of ulty, as well as a posed to be a who has sat in on pamphlet "An Open Letter to requires 15 members to call for the Staff's bargaining team com- handful of media the negotiations, Laurier Students." one, and 19 faculty signatures mented "we must show the representatives process of give reported that However, once these murmurs were submitted. The meeting will Administration that we won't back and some stu- and take. At this WLUSA "pro- had surfaced, events surrounding be held at 4:oopm on Thursday, down until our demands are met." dents. moment there is no posed a com- the labour dispute erupted again October 10th, in room IEI of the As of Thursday, the Staff An element mutuality in this pletely new arti- on Tuesday, when Laurier's branch Arts Building. Association will have been on of faculty and process." cle on contract- of New Democrats held a student Although the meeting is open strike for 25 days. student solidari- ing out, giving rally in support of WLUSA and to the general public, any arising ty was incorpo- the university a invited MP Joe Comartin to speak in-camera sessions will be held rated into the clear unrestricted din when a professor and his right to contract out in a reason- music students arrived beforehand able set ofcircumstances." The fol- to play a selection of marches. lowing day, the university EIC One not new student that the but "had hires nearby felt responded signifi- Cord music was raising the crowd's spir- cantly modified its position of Stefan Sereda it, while another was so struck by September 24th except to reduce hiring committee to fulfill the role of former EIC. the commotion that she thought a its earlier monetary proposals." It was a process that spanned nearly three weeks and According to McLean, Cherry was hired because parade was passing by. Indeed, Lorimer's speech and two editorial boards. The transition left "she has a plethora of experience with The Faculty members were invited a placard reading "A sad day in The Cord in shambles and nearly killed its Cord, and a number of applicable life to speak at the rally and mention Golden Hawks history" heralded production manager. experiences, which we feel made her those who they missed from the the news delivered by a member On Wednesday, October 2, Christine appropriate for the job." Cherry has staff. In addition, a scroll was of WLUSA's bargaining team that Cherry was named the new Editor-in-Chief proved her journalistic versatility as The unrolled with a detailed list of con- another recess had been called in (EIC) of The Cord Weekly. Cherry Cord's photo manager and as Features the talks. Luke Fusco, Dean of replaced Cord production manager Wilbur editor. Social Work and mediator in the McLean, who was acting as Interim EIC fol- When asked how she felt about the Cherry Inside negotiating process, agreed to lowing Maneesh Sehdev's September ter- Christine committee's decision, Arts Editor Siobhan reconvene the talks once the par- mination. Bhagwat stated "Though I have never News 2 ties have reassessed their posi- According to Student Publication's President worked with Christine before, I am glad to have the Opinion 6 tions. Fusco, who was thanked at David Field, Cherry was selected by a hiring commit- opportunity to work with her." International 10 the rally for helping to resolve tee, to whom she presented a platform for her term Cherry says that she sees this year as "an oppor- editors Feature 12 some articles, was set to contact at The Cord. The committee was chosen based on tunity for rebuilding, in terms of training the on October The Cord's Constitution, consisting of seven repre- and helping to set up for next year, while at the same Entertainment 14 both sides Monday, 7th. The mediator felt that the sentatives from the administration and the staff of the time producing a quality paper. We need to always Arts 16 recess could help the two parties newspaper. On board for the hiring were Jen Martin, keep an eye to the future of Student Publications." Student Life 18 reach a satisfactory agreement, Laura Jardine and Field who represented WLUSP Despite much anticipation as to who would fill the Sports 20 rather than prolong the strike. administration, as well as Melissa Allen, Caitlin vacant EIC position, Cherry's platform states that Business 23 Activity in the labor dispute Howlett and Kristin Lipscombe representing The "The Cord is not one person." Classifieds 24 hushed after Thursday. President Cord's editorial board. McLean was selected for the 2 News Wednesday October 9 2002 "Free Money" for students WLUSU grant offers $12,500 to students to foster talent

Stefan Sereda and aid students who use these avenues "as Champagne, and two representatives from they helped to build schools, and the devel- a means of personal growth and expres- the Board of Directors. opment of a boys' youth group operating in If you see a green bill with President Andy sion." The Grant Fund Council will evaluate the the Kitchener-Waterloo community. Pushalik's visage on it, do not throw it away. In the description of the award, it is merits of the applications based on a num- The Grant Fund is open to all full-time Although it may look like a fake, and is a noted that "The Grant Fund operates to pro- ber of criteria, including "How does the sub- and part-time undergraduate students, how- fake, it could represent your ticket to a load vide resources for students mission enhance the WLU ever Kristi Edwards has made it clear that of "Free Money!" who require some type of community?" The applica- "submissions based solely on completing a Laurier's Students Union has recently monetary endowment in tions will be examined on a project for academic credit will be eliminat- commenced its "Free Money!" advertising order to see their respec- "This year the case-by-case basis, and the ed." In addition, proposals from Campus campaign to spread the word for the WLUSU tive projects fulfilled. It is sum of the fund will be Clubs and other groups affiliated with Grant Fund. Established by the University the belief of the Board of fund consists of divided among cases. Last WLUSU will not be accepted, as "these proj- Affairs Department of the Union four years Directors that such a fund $12,500 dedicat- year students received from ects should be funded through the regular ago, the WLUSU Grant Fund offers under- firmly establishes WLUSU's ed to helping $200 to $2000 in support of budget process." graduates surviving on a student budget a commitment to students to students tultml their projects. However, Edwards has affirmed that chance to realize their extracurricular provide and facilitate an Grants have been split up WLUSU "needs as many students as we can dreams. environment of opportunity their goals." into three categories "to get." The Deans of all of Laurier's faculties "University students have good ideas, they and learning." allow a broad and diverse and the chairs of each department have just don't have a lot of money" commented WLUSU grants will be range of applications." Each been made aware of the grant's availability. Kristi Edwards, Executive Vice-President of extended to students whose applications category consists of different project types, Applications can be picked up in the WLUSU University Affairs for the Union. This year can be approved by the Grant Fund Council. however, the lists of projects are not meant offices on the third floor of the Fred Nichols the Grant Fund consists of $12,500 dedicat- This council "will be charged with the to limit the student ideas acceptable for sub- Campus Centre. The deadline for submis- ed to helping students fulfill their goals, a administration, organization and marketing mission, only provide an example for which sions is Friday, October 18th, 2002 at $500 increase from previous years "to better of the fund and will take all steps necessary types of projects fall under which cate- 4:3opm. Inquiries regarding the WLUSU meet the needs of students." to ensure it is operated in a manner that gories. For example, artistic grants may Grant Fund should be sent to Kristi Edwards According to the Grant Fund Guidelines, treats all submissions in a fair and equitable include projects in film, photography, paint- at [email protected]. the fund "was formed on the basis of the manner." ing, theatre and music. When asked if she had any final thoughts fundamental need to recognize and foster On the committee this year are Kristi In previous years grants have been on the Grant Fund, Edwards said those students who possess extraordinary Edwards, Vice President of Finance and awarded to the Aspirations Film Festival, the "Apply...the more applications we get, the talents in areas of the arts, academics, sports Administration, Paul Tambeau, production of The Vagina Monologues, the better." and leadership." Grants are project-based Programming and Promotions Manager, Phil Global Youth Network's trip to Kenya where

LAND - NDP Supports the Staff

labour disputes is holding out until Bryn Boyce student and faculty support dimin- ishes, at which time they gain the Despite the biting cold wind, stu- upper hand and workers are forced dents and faculty rallied to support back to work. WLUSA last Tuesday behind the The second speaker brought an Seminary. There were three guest interesting perspective to the entire speakers and lemonade was served. rally. Rick Henderson, a WLUSA The Laurier Activist New Democrats member and former Laurier stu- (LAND) organized and advertised dent (ex-WLUSU member) said that the event. the WLUSA strike is for the veteran The first speaker, NDP MP Joe members as well as the future staff. Comartin, journeyed from his He pointed out that the administra- Windsor-St. Clair riding to show his tion has saved more than $1 million solidarity with the staff association. since the strike began September He pointed the finger at the Federal 16 and saves $38,000 in wages each government's funding cuts as a con- day that this strike drags on. "What tributing factor to this labour dis- will they use this $1 million for?" pute. "You're being faced with asked Henderson. One student in those cuts and you are the victims" the crowd cried out "They can pay Comartin told the assembled sup- our tuition!" This does bring out porters. the interesting issue of how, and if, Comartin then aimed his sights the administration will redistribute at the administration that is trying this money throughout the school to have "less people doing more." A between the students and the work- method, he claims, that is aimed to ers. stretch the budget just that much The final speaker of the rally further at the expense of working was Anthony Piscitelli, the President HARRIS conditions and those who may be of LAND and organizer of the rally. DONNA downsized. security, WLUSA's Piscitelli called out to Rosehart "to Job This dog, a supporter of WLUSA, wears a muzzle due to the media blackout chief concern, is consistent with act in the best interests of students, two notable strikes at the University and end this strike immediately. dents want a fair deal for WLUSA to of Windsor, in which Comartin was are fed and feel that end strike." Students up this hey boys...this is vour week for also actively involved. One dealt their education is being compro- The unrelenting wind and cold with teaching assistants and the mised by an administration which may have kept some faculty mem- other with their Staff "Association seems more focused on the bottom bers and students away, but the equivalent, with both issues having line than our learning." He also assembled group cheered loudly their roots in the Laurier strikes shot out at Dr. Rosehart !s lack of and showed strong support for the buzz word: Contracting Out. presence on the university campus Staff Association. The enduring ROPINE'SBAR & GRILL The central theme in Comartin's throughout the strike's 24 days. He message that was stressed by all was I I ...where it's all about talent! address was solidarity. He stressed outlined two critical messages that solidarity and support of the staff in the importance of student and fac- LAND seeks to promote during this this, the fourth week, of the labour KING STREET NORTH WATERLOO AT NORTHFIELD saying that the most strike: "one, that students do ulty support, sup- dispute. Tel: 886-7565 common administrative tactic in port the staff, and two, that the stu- Wednesday October 9 2002 Mews 3

Bag o'crime Can't touch this JAC MISCHIEF 0320 HRS WED SEPT Person(s) unknown broke one of the lamp 02/02 standard covers outside Health Despitebelief, popular While on patrol, officers found the gate Services. Laurier arm to lot 20 broken. are not the best out there MISCHIEF 0035 HRS SUN OCT 06/02 criminals THEFT UNDER $5000 FRI SEPT 13/02 Person(s) unknown turned over the bike Appleton, Wisconsin- Darrell acid on his face would blur man had previously shot

- SUN SEPT 15/02 racks on Mid Campus Dr. There was Voeks stole $100,000 worth the picture. It obviously did- himself in the foot while try- A WLU student reported the theft of his one bike in the rack at the time. of pigs to help pay for breast n't work. ing to shoot a rat. bicycle from the bike racks on Mid implants for his favourite Campus Dr. MISCHIEF 0150 HRS SUN OCT 06/02 stripper at a club. He got ten Key West, Florida- One Woburn, Massachusetts- A Person(s) unknown threw two rocks years in prison. restaurant owner killed Baptist church was caught TRESPASS 1825 HRS WED OCT through a window at Bricker Residence. another during an argument luring children in with pizza, 02/02 Ogden, Utah- A man wearing over how to put silverware and then baptizing them A non WLU male was issued with a written MISCHIEF 0153 HRS SUN OCT 06/02 a clown costume went to a into a dishwasher correctly. without parental consent. trespass warning after he drove Person(s) unknown broke a window at 209 mechanic's trailer. The clown across University Ave and through the pick- Regina St. asked for a woman named Scarborough, England- A Redondo Beach, California- et line at the main entrance in Kathy. After the mechanic totaled Ford car was found at Police noticed that a man an erratic manner. MISCHIEF SAT SEPT 05/02 - SUN denied knowing a person the bottom of a 100-foot cliff. driving his car, and they SEPT 06/02 named Kathy, the clown No sign of the driver was assumed he was drunk. Not NOISE COMPLAINT 0230 HRS THU Person(s) unknown threw a chunk of accused him of having an found, just a pile of human because he was meandering, OCT 03/02 masonary through a window at the affair with her, and hit him feces on the drivers seat. but because he had the top An officer attended at Laurier Place after Science Building. over the head with a lamp. of a traffic light pole (includ- receiving a complaint of loud The clown was never found. Stockholm, Sweden- ing the lights) across the music. Those involved were asked to turn MISCHIEF SAT SEPT 05/02 - SUN Customs officers noticed that hood of the car. When ques- the music down and complied. SEPT 06/02 Mount Shasta, California-Joy a woman that wouldn't stop tioned he said, "I thought Person(s) unknown broke 4 windows at St Glassman was a loving moth- scratching her chest. They the lights came with the car." THEFT UNDER $5000 1200-1230 HRS Michael's Campus. er. She always wanted her were kind, and didn't men- WED OCT 02/02 sons to succeed in life. Then tion anything, at first, but she Grande Ronde, Oregon- 67- A Faculty member reported that her wallet POSSESSION DRUGS 2330 HRS SUN she went too far. Her sons never stopped. They year-old Arthur Mooney died had been stolen from her office. SEPT 06/02 grew up to be fire men, and searched her and found 75 of a heart attack in the Spring A non WLU male was found in possession Ms. Glassman intentionally live snakes that she was try- Mountain Casino. While his MISCHIEF 0229 HRS SAT OCT 05/02 of a small quantity of drugs and set fires to help their careers. ing to smuggle. body lay right there on the A non WLU male was issued with a written drug paraphenalia at the rear of 232 King. After five fires in one month floor for an hour, the other trespass notice after he was seen The individual was turned over she was arrested for arson. Sandusky, Ohio- A man was customers continued to play discharging a fire extinguisher in the north to Regional Police. charged with negligent the slot machines. They stairwell of the Nichols Pikeville, Kentucky- A bank assault after he shot his pulled his body away the Ctre. Charges are pending. During this time period, nine provincial robber was easily caught by wife's hat, thinking it was a next day. offence notices were issued for surveillance cameras. He rat. The hat was on his wife's MISCHIEF 0050 HRS SUN OCT 06/02 Liquor Act violations. thought that rubbing citric head at the time. The same

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Travel CUTS is owned and operated by the Canadian Federation of Students. 4 •News Wednesday October 9 2002 Bringing water to others Thomas Thompson from the classes that are partici- the program and make it a perma- active group of students at pating in the fund-raising. Fellin nent part of Laurier like other Queens, which goes by the similar Water is one of the most precious hopes that the anthropology class, charitable causes such as title WaterCan@Queens. resources to our lively hood yet a one-term course, will raise about Shinerama. more than 20 percent of the world a $1,000 while both of the sociolo- Currently, WaterCan also has an lives daily without access to clean gy classes, which are two terms fresh water. Those without access each, will raise $2,000 each. to freshwater and sanitary condi- Contributions will also be generat- You're going places. tions often face the risk s such as ed by general fund-raising activi- waterborne disease and there are ties. Some of the ideas that Fellin Go Greyhound. approximately two million chil- dren who die of conditions related to a lack of clean water and sanita- tion. "The creation of Last year, Sociology students at these water . * 3B WLU with the guidance of Dr. development projects in develop- 11 sources have '. j I « >*zZ**** m3^m Richard Christie raised three thou- many benefits ing countries. To date WaterCan ■ Ii |j|jHKL has raised three-and-a-half million I W^ including reduced dollars from the Canadian public health problems." and the Canadian International Development Agency that has been used to fund 76 projects in t3O different countries. mentioned included a "Dean for a Yap said that there is usually Day" draw where the winning stu- three different aspects to a water r dl dent would take the place of Dean system project. The first was the McMurray at his job and he in turn creation of a water source such as would take the of the stu- a a for a sand dollars for WaterCan, which is place protecting spring, drilling STUDENT FRIENDLY FARES an organization that finances and dent in class for a day. Fellin said well, creating a gravity feed or rain places you're coordinates clean water projects that other ideas included having tank water system. The second You're going in life, but right now and sanitary systems within devel- part is to create a sanitation sys- just going home for the holidays. With thousands of oping countries located mainly in tem and thirdly, is to educate the destinations and great everyday low fares, Greyhound Africa. On Tuesday, George Yap populace about health and gives you the freedom to go more places more often. who is the Program Director for hygiene issues. WaterCan works in WaterCan came to speak and make partnership with local and existing FROM KITCHENER* ONE WAY plus GST) a slide show presentation to the agencies as well as the people of 50 three different classes that are the region when they carry out a GUELPH $ 5 65 PETERBOROUGH $25 going to be involved with this project. OTTAWA $5700 TORONTO $1250 years' fund-raising for WaterCan at The creation of these water BELLEVILLE $3050 SUDBURY $5700 Laurier. sources have many benefits for *Valid Student ID required. Call us for more details. Mark Fellin, a fourth year soci- these regions including reduced ology student who is in charge of benefit events such as a wine and health problems and labour administration for WaterCan at cheese or a semi-formal. involved in obtaining water, a task Laurier, said that the goal is to George Yap, who graduated that can involve several hours and raise $25,000, which is enough from WLU with a Masters degree is often performed by young girls local info contact: " f money to completely finance one in Environmental Studies, said that and women. s^ '^ZZcr> 15 Charles Street West project. Fellin said that there are WaterCan was created in 1987 Fellin says that WaterCan at (519) 585-2370 GREYHOUND two different sources in which when it was recognized that there Laurier's main goals are not only they hope to generate the contri- was no official Canadian agency to raise more money this year but butions from. The first will be that oversaw water and sanitation to eventually expand the scope of tFor Jostens^ DON'T MISS OUT

On class composites and oV> r ￿ yearbook sign up at the Hub * ©0 Wednesday October 9 2002 News* 5 VOCAL CORD I "Hawaiian sprin- "Boston Creme kles; Boston Creme; and Sour Creme "French Crueller." Chocolate Glazed; Glazed." Dip." What is Chocolate Andrew Pike, t Second year, Mike iiirney, Megan Pant ; Honours Economics and Andrew ,\rgenta. Brbara Mike Radoslar. I Accounting « Third year English. your Winter ■ Patrol ■ Hoot & MicroBell, I Third year Math w ￿ . ~ ￿ favourite ! t t ! "Donuts112 112make me "Bostont^reme." "Vanilla dip or "Boston Creme." kind of dutchie." I sick."

I donut? ; Kay Wiecba, . Kristi F.dirards. Teena John, Katie Mulholland, : Foilrib Fourth year Business Executive Vice President of vear. Firsl year Communications I diversity Affairs Honours Political Science Krispy unloads kreme in Kitchener his house and cut off the middle Kitchener has advertised the cre- Krispy Kreme pumps 5 million doughnut connoisseurs. The Bryn Boyce man. He soon founded the fran- ation of 150 new jobs at this loca- doughnuts down the North drive-thru feeding frenzy has chise and the American dream tion alone. KremeKo. will be hold- American esophagus daily. They often jammed up sections of the Tim Hortons may have muscled had come true. ing a job fair at the Chandler claim to produce more than 2 bil- busy Mavis Rd. in Mississauga. its way into the Canadian cultural They have expanded in 36 Mowat Community Centre on lion doughnuts annually. This issue has regularly required image, but now their de facto states .and now their first October 10 and 11 from 10am- The only other Canadian loca- police intervention to ensure monopoly in the doughnut indus- International venture has Bpm, and October 12 tions are in Mississauga and hungry customers get their fix try may be in jeopardy. Ok, maybe begun in Ontario. They from 9am-4pm. Richmond Hill. The locations are without fear of getting rear- not, but its American counterpart, soon intend to With this new virtual meccas for ravenous ended. Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, is set to invade four more staff, the store open its third Ontario franchise at provinces and will be able to 800 Ottawa St. South, Kitchener open a total of 32 produce 2,400 on November 19, 2002. Canadian loca doughnuts Krispy Kreme Doughnuts tions. This will every hour. boasts a quaint, small town histo- create approxi- For all ry that dates back to 1937, when mately 3,200 new .hose Krispy "LIKE A" Vernon Rudolph began selling his jobs. This is a far cry Kreme virgins out doughnuts to a local grocer in from Tim Horton's 2,000 there, hot glazed Winston-Salem, North Carolina. stores, that employ nearly 55,000 doughnuts (which they create in The recipe was allegedly bought people. This saturation of the their Doughnut Theatre) are the from a French chef who was oper- Canadian landscape makes Krispy signature item and they actually ating out of New Orleans. When Kreme's 245 store chain seem melt in your mouth. "They tasted Rudy's popularity grew in minute by comparison. a little... not cooked... but I still Winston-Salem, he cut a hole in The new franchise in like them!" said Jeff Latosik. VIRGINMADONNA IHE ROAD TO KNOWLEDGE IS ROUGH- but not! TOM NEED GOOD SHOES! f%L ij NOT... WE CARRY: MEMORIES CAN BE GREAT, BUT WHEN THEY'RE ftK|| THE BEAT GOES ON. UNLOAD YOUR MEMORIES. pf 4p ii A * ■ BeatGoesoJ

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'lhEi CORD WIH

LETTERS

tions. The WLU Info Bulletin of September not spoiled, children "whining in a candy years, toured New Zealand last season, and the quality of the current staff. Even 181' 1 on the university's web site acknowl- store." We are dedicated and hard-working lost in last year's championship game. Finally, McDonalds, Wendy's and Tim Horton's all edged a Media Blackout in its prior negotia- employees who are being treated with con- Laurier had lost 6 of 15 starters by halftime of offer twice yearly, scheduled wage increases! tions. WLUSA observed a Media Blackout dur- tempt and disrespect by \the administration. that game. Ask yourself who would turndown the possi- ing the mediated talks. Surely, your negotiat- Many of us are WLU grads, but to the The article also stated that it was clear that bility of advancing their rate of pay with their ing team realized that breaking the media administration we are just disposable "human the men's and women's teams were heading experience in order to come and work here, ' blackout on September 26 t 1 could only jeop- capital." They want to contract out our jobs, in different directions, implying that the men's where in the near future, their wages could ardize negotiations. It effectively scuttled the reduce our benefits, increase our fees, etc. and team was declining or becoming less competi- never increase. talks, thus unnecessarily delaying an end to this is not fair. tive. Again, I have to disagree. As a member Now, if you think that I'm wrong in my the strike. How do these actions square with Suggestion: The Library offers tutorials on of the team for the past four years I have seen analysis and you believe that the administra- the academic integrity we all value? Was the research. Once the strike is over, sign up. this program improve steadily. When I first tion would never do what I have described, cancellation of Convocation really necessary, These could come in handy to a university stu- came to Laurier the rugby team was a compet- then maybe you could explain to me why then one wonders? dent. itive division II team. Over the past four years the University refuses to compromise on sec- I am disturbed at what seems to be a new the team has worked towards moving up to tion 3.8 of the contact. The expired contract aggressive policy in dealing with the staff at Blanka Burgos WLU Graduate WLU division I and eventually winning the first divi- that the University had with the WLUSA Laurier. The 17% increase in student enrol- Employee for 22 years a.k.a. "human cap- sion 1 game in the history of the school. allowed them to contract out and hire workers ment over the last three years has made ital" Which coincidentally came just 3 days earlier, on a temporary basis, or on a full-time basis for Laurier Ontario's fastest growing university, yet received no attention. Additionally, not to services not already handled by WLUSA staff. and through the hard work and commitment Give me convocation take anything away from the fine performance The Administration wants to change the con- of faculty and staff, those students have been put on by our women's team, but to compare tract so that they can fire WLUSA staff with absorbed smoothly. To insist upon stiff terms Four years and a CA Add-on semester at a team of the caliber of Western to Windsor is four months notice in order to hire a person for contracting out not only threatens the Laurier: $30,000 unfair, and I believe the women's team would on contract to replace them. This contract security of people who have worked at Laurier Four years of accommodations and living agree. employee would not then be a member of for twenty years in some cases, it also signals a expenses: 125,000 To conclude I would like to thank The WLUSA and would thus have to negotiate their dismissive lack of appreciation to a group of Obtaining an education at a second-class insti- Cord for the publicity, but would kindly rate of pay and benefits separately from the people who have supported Laurier's recent tution that can't even bother to read your request they put a little more effort and union. Logically the University would not expansion. They deserve a fair contract, not name at convocation: Priceless research into their next article. replace a WLUSA employee with a contract unfair contracting out. Their good will is much Imagine, after years of hard work employee at a higherrate of pay or with more needed next year with the arrival of the double and effort to get a university education, A disappointed student, benefits. The only reason to contract out is to cohort. Laurier has the audacity to cancel our fall con- Stephen Lennie save money. If the "bottom line" is what now drives our vocation. What nerve! After all of the money So, when I read the polemic, uninformed, fiscal policies, that paradigm shift has not been we have spent here, after all of the crap we Strike misconceptions misguided letter by "name withheld" in last discussed at meetings of the Senate or the have put up with so Laurier can shove in a few week's edition of The Cord, in which the Board of Governors. An institution of higher hundred more students every year, after all of I just finished reading the letter submitted author described the WLUSA strikers as selfish learning should not descend to the bottom the construction and money-grab conferences to last weeks Cord by "name withheld" regard- children, annoying and greedy, I got a quite

line - if anything it should be a model for soci- that are conveniently scheduled in the middle ing the WLUSA strike and I think that there are angry. I'm not a communist and I'm not even

ety in its fair-dealing with employees. A line of exams - we know where we stand. a few things that need to be said regarding this a member of the NDP. You see, when we as a somewhat higher than the bottom is Prospective students reading the MacLean's and other matters at Laurier. First of all, school or a society become so heartless that required. University issue are undoubtedly under the WLUSA is not on strike to secure a higher rate we start to believe that the people around us I urge you to take a good look at impression that they will get a convocation of pay, or even more benefits: they are on don't deserve what we deserve because they Laurier's faculty support for our staff. I urge ceremony if they attend any post-secondary strike because the University wants to be able may not have a University degree, because you to instruct your negotiating team to soften institution worth their time. I suppose they to fire them without cause so as to be able to they aren't in the business world or because it their position on contracting out. Please adopt should be told otherwise. employ people who are willing to work for is inconvenient for us, I really start to wonder a willingness to conclude negotiations with Anyone wishing to graduate this fall less. This is something that, under the current where the hell our world is going to. I don't WLUSA to the satisfaction of all parties and was required to submit an application by July contract they cannot do. think that there is one of you reading this that with the good will that recognizes and appre- 1. Now, three months later, the administration You see. this is largely the reason why: doesn't think that, when you leave school and

ciates good work. Students, faculty, and staff still hasn't finished 'processing' these applica- unions were formed in the first place - not to begin a career of your own, you should be able will applaud you. tions. I can't imagine that checking to see if boost wages but instead to protect workers to expect a performance and experience based someone has enough credits to graduate is an right to work in a secure and safe environ- rate of pay and a jobsecure from unwarranted James Weldon involved process. It is also not the first convo- ment. It may save each student five dollars per dismissal. Department of English and Film Studies cation that Laurier has had, so I assume the year on their tuition bill to employ cheaper No, working in the cafeteria is not the planning is not the difficult task it is purported labour, but I think it goes without saying that same as working for RIM, but it is neither bet- Get your facts straight to be. And, I don't appreciate the gratuitous if you work at the same job for 15 or 20 years, ter nor worse; it's a valuable job that has to be invitation to the spring convocation next June. you wouldn't expect a static rate of pay. I think done for this community to function. The Dear "Name Withheld," I must say that my family is not veiy it is fair to assume that in any job, be it at WLUSA strikers have families of their own to happy. But, I really feel sorry for the people McDonalds, Proctor & Gamble or in a univer- support, just as you will to one day. For those Your "Leave me alone" letter in the who had family flying in or traveling from afar sity, people expect regular pay increases that of you who believe that contracting out is a fair October 2 issue ofThe Cord clearly shows that to attend the graduation. Regardless of the correspond both to their experience and sen- and necessary policy for the university to pur- you do not have the slightest idea of what the strike situation by November, how hard would iority in the workplace, as well as their record sue, just hope that you don't face corporate WLUSA strike is about. Did you actually stop to it be to set up a ceremony and go through the of performance. downsizing or spending cuts in your own talk to these "selfish" picketers4Q,ikid out motions for the sake of our families even if the The reality is that if you fire someone who futures. And if you don't think it could happen what the issues are? Did you read the info paper work is not yet complete? You owe us at has worked at the university for 15 years in to you someday, I bet those people who used leaflets they gave you? Did you check the least that much. Otherwise, don't bother con- order to hire someone at a lower rate of pay, to work at Nortel, Enron, Tyco, BCE and a WLUSA web site (www.wlusa.ca) to find infor- tacting me for alumni support. you must expect two things. First, that the pol- whole list of other 'stable' companies felt the mation? Did you read any of the articles in the icy of replacing senior workers with new work- same way when they were undergrads. Record? — Obviously not. You say you can't Meredith Popp ers (in order to save money) will be repeated believe that many students are supporting us. every time a worker reaches a point where a Mark Humphries Perhaps theyare better than and or ini- * informed you raise is required expected, otherwise, to 3rt Year Honours History know the real reasons for our strike. Ruck you! tially do so would be ludicrous and pointless. The strike is not at all about money, and Secondly, that those people who apply for our negotiators are not dining on caviar in I am writing in regards to an article in last jobs at Laurier in the future will be marginally some fancy hotel as youj seem to think. Thev j week's edition of the Cord. The article written below those people who currently work here are sitting around a table for many hours each by Colin Duffet was a review of the men's and in terms of skills and experience because they Have a thought or day, trying to negotiate our contract. This is women's rugby games on Saturday September will be seeking employment at an institution opinion? not a fun job. WLI ISA wants to reach a fair set- 29th. After reading the article I could not have that is hiring them for a position that exists tlement so that we can get back to work and been more disappointed. Not < >nlv was it inac- only because it refuses to provide its workers a letter to the minimize the inconvenience to students. We curate but also an insult to the men's rugby with either the potential for an increasing rate want this strike to end as much as you do, but team. The article described the men's team's of pay or with job security. In truth, folks you negotiation is a two-way street. performance as horrendous and disappoint- only get what you pay for. E-mail The administration is not negotiating in ing. However, it neglected to take into If you want your scantron cards, tran- [email protected] good faith and they constantly put up barriers account a number of factors. scripts. add/drop forms, exams, letters of per- to negotiations in order to prolong the strike. First, the score at half time was 10-7 and mission, course counselling, OSAP applica- Maximum 350 Why? Only they know. They obviously don't could easily have been a tie game if not for a tions and food to be handled by people who words ...please care about us, about the students, or even missed penalty kick by Laurier. Second, are willing to work for static low wages, then about the reputation of this university. We are Western was OUA champions 3 of the past 5 don't be surprised if those people are below 8 'Opinion Wednesday October 9 2002

I'm sorry but... Laurier shorts "I was sooo drunk..." Fact or fiction?

Melinda Cockburn So you failed your chem test. So you're hav- Ben Durrer tuition costs across Ontario go up. Don't these ing problems with that roommate who seems to people realize that although they may be making choice to believe that he/she runs the apartment. Quite their socially conscious support WLUSA honestly, Ireally don't care whom you're mad at now, at the same time they are eliminating a because you're obviously not upset with me, so socially conscious value such as access to public back off a little. And say thank you damn it. education? You've probably been standing in line and seen It's even more interesting that many of our me yell "And you're welcome, too!" after people own faculty arbitrarily pick a side... the same fac- who don't say thank you. I try my best not to ulty that prides themselves for their research abil- swear (it's really hard not to!) but I will still con- ities. Some of these faculty are so confident in tinue to be sarcastic to those who are aide to their arbitrary decision that they feel they should and blab A lot of people make me really, really mad. I'm me. totally change their course content and an angry person by nature, but some of the That brings me to my next complaint. Why We are now in the 4th week without service as blab each class about how guilty students should things that people do in this school have clo people insist on having socials in dooiways WLUSA and the WLU Administration continue to be that they are in school while the staff are on pushed me too far. No, I'm not going to com- and in the middle of the halls as people are try- butt heads and both negotiating teams work for a the street. If your course syllabus doesn't have plain about the current labour dispute, tuition, ing to get from class to class? Yeah, our school is solution that will be in the best interest of stu- labour relations on it, then I think you should tell or even the current state of many bathrooms small, but is it really necessary to impede on the dents. .. or at least that is what they say. WLUSA your profs to stick to the right material. around WLU. I have complaints that are direct- daily lives of other students, just so you can find has already lost anything they could have possible WLUFA thinks they are doing great things to ed at the student body in general. out how drunk so-and-so got last night, who's gained, the University is saving hundreds of thou- help our friends on the picket lines. The fact is Some of you may recognize me as the per- not speaking to whom, or the various other sands of dollars, and students are losing in almost they have no guts; they have had opportunities petually cranky, and disgruntled, Harvey's things that seem to just pop into your heads the every category. and they have chickened out. The faculty ratified employee who never seems to smile and speaks moment you decide to block the halls? When I I don't understand how people go about their own contract on September 20 withan over- in a near monotone voice when trying to give was in high school, I was taller than most people choosing a side to support. The typical Laurier whelming 95% majority. If WLUFA truly wanted you folks your orders. I have a reason for being and those who decided to convene in the mid- student is just inconvenienced at times, doesn't to throw their weight around they would have like this. It's not because I'm tired, not because dle of the naixow hallways ended up being care much about the issues, and couldn't care held off and thrown their support behind WLUSA I'm (probably) a bitch, and certainly not because picked up (literally), transported to one side and less about what the result is as long as it happens before ratifying any agreement. I'm chatting with all of you. I'm crank}' at work told to move. Unfortunately, that's not really an soon. Other people just pick a side arbitrarily WLU Admin has provided very limited because so many students won't say please or, option now that I'm at WLU. So I'm asking for because they are loyal labour supporters or union amounts of information about the status of nego- especially, thank you! We work hard to make some consideration on the part of students. haters. These people are the ones that drive me tiations and the issues of concern. We need to be you food that will keep your stomachs satisfied Please find somewhere else to have your little crazy because they passionately feel that their gut certain that WLU is being a responsible employer between classes arid all that we ask in return meetings, or please move when people are try- feeling is correct rather than making the effort to and not just a puppet to the Ontario government (well, me especially) is that you are polite and ing to get by you. research issues and make an informed decision. who may be attempting to bust another union. say thanks. We don't have to do what we do. We Please don't make cranky people like me The most vocal supporters of WLUSA do so The University and WLUSA have thrown around work there to make ends meet. We have fun any worse than we normally are. Thank you. because it is "apparently" more socially conscious so much inaccurate information that any news is and goof around but it ruins my day when one to support people on the pickets rather than the likely fiction. The only way to legitimately make person feels the need to take their frustrations employer. But at the same time, this loud vocal an opinion is to compare the University's offer to out on us. group is the same group that will complain when staffcontracts at other Ontario universities. Guest column caught & i It's been "difficult" M _on •

Andy Pushalik us into classes, given us guidance on mined by the university with consulta- course selection, and told us the tion from graduates. world wasn't ending even when we Effective immediately a shuttle quite sure that was. bus should be provided for students 112 were it It is difficult to do research for any traveling to the University ofWaterloo rlrKkv son of essay or paper when access to for library use. 112 inSID^ library resources is so limited and Under no circumstances will stu- when hours are further reduced. dents be required to attend a class, And it is difficult to explain to stu- lab, or tutorial on weekends or holi- WLUSU President dents, parents, and grandparents why days. the Fall Convocation class of 2002 will The rescheduling of a midterm or Much has been said about how 'diffi- be denied their right to walk across class assignment must be decided + + cult' the negotiations have been to the stage after they have spent four with input from students in the class. HIP-HOP HOUSE PRIZES this point and how 'difficult' it has years and over $50,000 to gain a uni- Students will not be penalized for been for the staff and the administra- versity degree from Wilfrid Laurier any interest on their WLU Business im citt'sJ tion involved. A? students we have University. accounts for any payment owing. mmnct been told that it is 'difficult' to explain So in an attempt to change things All student teaching assistants will )ST UDIQUt: what exactly contracting out means we, the students, respectfully request be paid in Rill regardless of whether or PABTiTIjB and what, exactly it involves. We have the following: not they have delivered their services http://clik.to/caughtonfilmfJ also been told how 'difficult' it has The opportunity for a representa- due to the work action. been to be a faculty member as they tive from the Wilfrid Laurier University All students receive a 10% dis- are without so much of their usual Students' Union to address both count offof their winter 2003 tuition. B help. negotiating teams. A deal! Well, let me attempt to tell you Effective January 2003 for a period Sorry for being so 'difficult' but we nmm dUI how 'difficult' it has been to be a stu- of two months, any student purchas- are just trying to make things easier to dent in the last few weeks. ing a textbook or course package will be a student. OKTOBERFEST BASH It is difficult walking to school receive a 25% discount. these days and seeing the faces of so A separate ceremony for the fall many of the people who have signed graduating class is held at a date deter-

The Cord Weekly: Laurier's objective student newspaper since 1926 519.666.6214 Wednesday October 9 2002 Opinion* 9

Goat Goes to Laurier

An April Campbell Production Insert opinion here: [email protected]

Guest column I'm ovulating Regan Watts to the side and give this person a chance - what you have heard may turn out to be true however in many cases I'm sure you will surprise yourself and find that this new person you've met is actu- ally okay. Moreover, the tolerance levels shown between the WLU Administration and WLUSA have also been remarkably poor. What started on, out as a work stoppage based around some seri- Pull Amid the hustle and bustle of our beloved cam- ous issues has been distorted into nothing less pus, through the strike barriers and line-ups in than a sandbox fight between two kids who can't the Cafeteria, throughout the hallways and in make up their minds about a damn thing! If Dr. our classrooms, there is one obsession that Rosehart and his negotiating team were to show many at Laurier seem to have. That is, many citi- some tolerance and understanding towards zens ofour community are completely intolerant WLUSA, and vice versa, maybe some order can and have pigeonholed opinions on just about be restored to this campus. kick everything. Finally, most students at WLU are completely is so beneath you. I am not sufficed to say that this observable intolerant of anything that isn't the noun. Case off. fact is limited to those who are students. In fact, in point, last year when Dr. Eglin seized the I believe that our culture has as much to do with Concourse and tried to create some dialogue

our leaders - Rosehart, our professors, and staff about 9/11. Not only was he ostracized for what

- as it does to many of our narrow-minded stu- he tried to do - create an intellectual discussion

dents. It would be benign of me not to include about a very real issue - but also he was myself in this category; I have been just as guilt)' frowned upon by many members of the Laurier as the next-person when it comes to this issue, community. I still hold that the manner in which nobody here is perfect. However, it has been he conducted himself was done was inappropri- somewhat ofan epiphany of mine when walking ate, but the intent on the part of Dr. Eglin was around campus this week listening to the such that he was only doing what he felt was sounds of Laurier. I could not getjQvgtihe igno- right at the time. I don't have to agree with what in Stout Brown and Black. rance of so many of the people at institution. he was saying but I certainly am able to relate, My first example is from a conversation that I and consider. Dr. Eglin's point of view. overheard while in the Torque Room. Although I I am not saying that Laurier is a bunch of car- Available Exclusively In Waterloo cannot recall all of the vivid particulars used by bon-copied robots - in fact, I think we have a at.. the group, but the gist of the conversation was very diverse campus filled with many unique that a certain individual was an "idiot, a complete opinions and looks' - however what I am saying fool".., What bothered me about the discussion is that there are unfortunately two types of peo- is that many of those who were sitting around ple. .. those who are tolerant and those who are the table did not know the person or had even not. met him. Everyone at Laurier has been guiltv of In essence, WLU is nothing more than a this - myself included. metaphorical cruise-ship am by a select few Nothing bothers me more about this school where we board in September and get off in Warehouse Store than the fact that others are judged based upon April. There are activities to do, people to meet, a story they may have heard or a rumour that and responsibilities to tend to. However, the WhereElse Do You Find GreatFootwear was going around their morning class. All I think ship' is nothing more than the same people, that anyone ever expects when meeting some- many who hold the same values and think along At YourDoorstep? one new is a fair shake without having the biases the same lines. There is rarely any deviation in or opinion of others making an unneeded perspectives on issues that are important to the 133 Weber Street. N A A impact. People are people, and we've all made students of Laurier. This is a very sad reality. The 112 (near Bridgeport) / /t — /M mistakes -1 certainly know that I have made my level of tolerance at this school is shameful and %3 -4 WATERLOO / IT fair share and then some - so why not show a should be something that is seriously examined VF little tolerance and realize that not everyone is by everyone. perfect and maybe it's okay to give someone a Having said that, in my old age, I can't wait HOURS: Mon.-Wed. 9:30 a.m.-8:00 p.m. ; Thurs. & Fri. 9:30 a.m.-9:00 p.m. ; chance, or two. If you've heard a rumour, put it to get off. Sat. 9:00 a.m.-6:00 p.m. ; Sun. 12:00-5:00 p.m. 10 International Wednesday October 9 2002 Bush unsatisfied with UN deal USPresidentand allies seek Peter Eglin finds much irony in the situation, as he views America as tougher the "biggest threat to disarmament resolutionwhile UN for decades," and he further explains that Israel, who admitted- Iraqprepares ly possesses nuclear weapons, is forwar the single largest threat to stability Brandon Currie change of regime could also in the Middle East. When asked encompass assassination or exile about Hussein's potential to attack With international pressure for Hussein, saying that the"cost Western nations, Eglin contends mounting, a high level Iraqi dele- of one bullet" is substantially less that "Saddam's largest threat is to gation and United Nations officials than the estimated 100-200 billion his own people." hammered out a deal that would dollar price tag of a sustained mili- Eglin also regards the American permit the return of weapons tary intervention. Secretary of coalition as very weak, as it cur- inspectors to Iraq, sharply dividing Defense Donald Rumsfeld has also rently enlists "the President, and the veto-wielding members of the insinuated that exile would be an not Senate; the US Air Force, not UN Security Council. acceptable solution, naming the US Army or people; Tony Blair, Late on the evening of October Mauritania, Morocco, and Algeria not the Labour Party or the British 2 in Vienna, UN chief weapons as possible abodes for Hussein. people. So it depends if they inspector Hans Blix announced However, the veto-holding (America) can buy Russia off." that a deal had been struck, per- nations of Russia and France favour For the first time, blatantly sup- mitting weapons inspectors access the agreement, wanting weapons porting America's policy on Iraq, to partially inspectors Canadian Foreign Affairs Minister audit Iraq's back in Iraq Bill Graham has pledged support arsenal, main- The Secretaiy-General as soon as for Bush's campaign, but only if all taining the ofthe Arab League has possible, a diplomatic avenues are first secrecy of warned the US that sentiment exhausted. He remarked that, Hussein's also "Canada is sometimes known as a many presi- another GulfWar espoused by peaceable kingdom but never as a dent i a 1 would "open the gates China, who pacifist kingdom." Dr. Kay's view of palaces. of hell" in the Middle often Canada's military support is that The Bush abstains from "We (Canada) may as well be administra- East Security Luxembourg in all of this, we don't tion has vehe- Council vot- matter." PHOTO mently decried the resolution, and ing. These nations favour a diplo- Meanwhile in Baghdad, FILE along with British PM Tony Blair, matic resolution, although they Hussein has been preparing his Iraqi schoolgirls hold up posters of Saddam Hussein in preparation for an vowed to disallow any weapons have their own agendas, notes people for war. With a standing October 15th referendum. Their only option is to re-elect Husseim until 2009. inspections until the UN passes a WLU Political Science professor army of 400 000, and over 6 million tough new resolution that allows Barry Kay. possible recruits with military of its 1990 value. This has been In 1991, Israel was asked not to unfettered access to all of Iraq's Kay suggested that Hussein's 8 training, Trade Minister interpreted as a desperate tactic to retaliate against Iraq for the repeat- arms, and military action as a con- billion-dollar debt to Russia, com- Mohammed Saleh warns that win public support, and has been ed yet ineffective SCUD missile sequence if unadulterated admit- bined with France's efforts to be "thousands and thousands" of coupled with intensifying campaign, but experts predict that tance is denied. "the Arab's friend in Europe," American troops will perish if they American propaganda broadcast no such limitations will be placed When the issue came before explain their current stance oppos- bring war to the streets of on national Iraqi television. on Israel should they be attacked the US Senate last week, they too ing the removal of Hussein. He Baghdad. However, the Iraqi people again. According to George Bush encouraged Bush to seek a diplo- also stated that China would likely Throughout the past year stand to lose the.most from any Sr. national security advisor Brent matic resolution, attempting to abstain from any Security Council Saddam has flooded the normally skirmish with America and its Snowcroft, provoking Israel could avoid a controversial vote over decision, as they dislike the idea of sparse Iraqi marketplace with con- allies. For a population already lead to "unleashing an potential funding of Bush's war. international involvement in sumer goods that range from DVD decimated by ten years of UN Armageddon in the Middle East," Bush responded to the advice of nations that violate human rights. players to foreign luxury cars. With embargoes and infrastructural ter- as well as increasing the propensi- his Senate, retorting that he had As Britain and America are the many goods being illegally smug- rorism, a new war would bring ty of the region to spawn terror- no interest in pursuing a peaceful only other nations with veto-pow- gled into the nation, they are avail- "widespread death and destruc- ists." resolution that would "tie (his) ers, it is possible that they could able at discount prices that are tion," while America would With elections slated for hands." bilaterally revoke any potential res- affordable to middle-class Iraqis, encounter "its usual friendly fire November in the United States, White House spokesman Ari olution, unless it meets their despite their impotent currency, accidents and maybe 100 deaths," and the Senate majority up for Fleischer has also implied that a demands. WLU sociology professor which is worth one six-thousandth according to Dr. Eglin. grabs for either party, Dr. Kay Of even greater consequence agrees with the idea that the than the squabbling occurring recent attention on Iraq is a diver- within the UN, are concerns about sionary tactic to distract the the effect another British-American American public from long-ignored attack would have on the stability domestic problems- as well as a of the Middle East, especially if struggling economy. Hussein decides to target Israel Furthermore, Dr. Eglin imparts again. Although America has gar- that it is simply another example of nered partial support from the Chomskian theory of Military Bahrain, Kuwait, Qatar, Saudi Keynesianism, which sees the fed- Arabia, and Turkey, Amr Moussa, eral government "channel public Secretary-General of the Arab funds into private hands." League has warned the US that With Saddam being one many another Gulf War would "open the authoritarian leaders with the abil- gates of hell" in the Middle East. ity to scare American taxpayers This especially holds true in into channelling their funds into Jordan, a nation with a Palestinian the coffers of arms manufacturers, population ruled by a pro-Western it is apparent that the UN will have king. "The street is going to be to rid themselves of their interna- very angry," Jordanian Foreign tional impotence if they wish to Minister Marwan Muasher predicts. avoid another crisis in the Middle Muasher also believes that any East. strike would further entrench his people's perception that America PHOTO is determined to make war with FILE the Arab world. Hans Blix (background left) addresses potential weapons inspectors in Vienna • Wednesday October 9 2002 International 11 Are you interested in w orld events, but financially Vocal Cord: restrained from gallavanting around the globe reporting ■Eg* W hard-hitting n£v sin a Geraldo Rivera-like fashion? Do you think President Bush should invade Iraq? Then write for Cord International! Contact the editor at [email protected], or come to the 3rd floor of the FNCC

"I think no, as the idea of ter- tir rorism isn't linked to Iraq. Thinking it's a good idea comes from his dad." flimjd (i 'm!U

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Nine Good Movies Wha.

r------~Fa~o Supposedly a true.':$tory, though once you've seen it yQ~C}Yonder how this is possible. Patheti¢¢arsalesman gets into .· .. .· •. money trouble and then hires two crim- inals to kidnap his wife and demand You can only watch so many Ben movies. I mean, after a while you begin to 1 ... money from her rich father. As the kid­ napping goes from bad, to worse, to cat- ly amounts to is a series of sexually ~ ...... ""''"'' .______;;=-----~ astrophic, we are introduced to a wide The Blair Witch Project your always available co-workers, and, if range of intriguing, nuanced characters, most of whom are resi­ I know, I know. You've seen dents of a small town close to Minnesota. The best thing about this one before. You saw it in board meetings, rampant serial Fargo is that it subverts many of the stereotypes associated with tne theatre and it made you movies you might want to think of....,.~ ...... ,... typical Hollywood crime movies, especially the troubled brood­ siCk a.od you went to the mit yourself to another two hours this ingmale detective, and does so without veering off iflto stupidi­ \\''<:l.$hroom and threw up. Roger's Video, you can rent seven of ty. Even though the characters can sometime~ be very strange Everyonetells that story. But, the movie remains very real, and though this fad in itself does­ ifl'm not mistaken you didn't under 15 dollars. I guarantee they will.not n't make the movie good or bad it definitely does pay respect to see the whole movie then. the dead, as the opening epitaph states. And you really should. The end brings little into focus but once you've seen it the movie gets under your skin in the way few oth­ ers can. I once had a drunken conversation with a friend about this movie ang he hit it right on the nose. He said that there is no mystery as to whether the film is fictitious, but for some reason it awakens the part of us that still somebow believes in qazy folklore about witches in forests. I mean, how do MullHolland Drive you know it 's not true? It probably is a bunch of Okay, so you saw this one too, and when it hooey, but how do you know for sure? Well, you 've was done you sat the:-e with your friends in got to at least see it once, in its entirety. silence and couldn't start a decent conver­ sation for the rest of the night. Point taken: this is a creepy, creepy movie. Many critics pan it for being indecipherable, but I have heard some very interesting theories about this movie (note: the opening scene is a suicide and the rest of the movie is a dream going on The Deer Hunter inside of the victim's head from the time of the gunshot until This is a long one, but definitely among the best war the death). The reason you should watch this movie again is movies ever made. A group of sheet metal workers because of how rich it becomes with each multiple viewing. leave their routine, small town lives and go to war Certain characters and scenes begin to take on different where they experience intense amounts of trauma side" if that dimensions that they hadn't before. It's not like you begin to and come back changed in irreconcilable ways. understand what Lynch is doing here, but you do eventually Robert Deniro and Meryl Streep lead the cast, along respect that the appeal of this movie is that it is not meant to with a very young Christopher Walken , a long time be entirely coherent. Like any dream, the reason it stays with friend of Deniro's character who develops an obses­ you is not because it makes .. sense but that it seems to capti­ sion with Russian roulette. The movie flows effortlessly between differ­ vate something within you that can not be articulated very ent settings, times and subplots and doesn't glodfy or romanticize war well. like other movies that will remain nameless but whose title rhymes with Earl and Barber. Now, I am aware that there are many other great war movies out there that aren't trite, but the Deer Hunter is one that tends to get overlooked and for that reason you should see it.

Don't Look Now Remember how I singled out the ending to Hitchcock's Vertigo and said it was really good? Well , the ending to this one is also very. very good and I won't reveal anything here because it is honestly an expe­ rience that words can do little jus­ tice for. The majority of the film Taxi Driver takes place in Venice and concerns You know, when it comes down to it, there is no thespi­ a husband and wife that have lost a child. The father, an in Hollywood cinema that can compare to Robert an art historian, is there on business, but soon the Deniro, if only because he starred in, or was part of, wife becomes involved with two women who claim to almost every great movie of the late 70's and early 80 's. be psychic and want to contact her dead child. The In Taxi Driver, you can see why he was so sought after. off. So father is not exactly thrilled about his wife's involve­ Deniro does not act like a psycho cab driver, he literally of om ment with these ladies and would prefer not to think becomes a psycho cab driver, and when he pulls out all bizarre L-----"'=='----1 about the death, as it is too upsetting. Suddenly, he those guns at the end you will check your suspension of know starts seeing a strange figure in the streets of Venice. disbelief, because IT REALLY LOOKS LIKE HE"S GOING CRAZY AND with h That's all I can say without ruining it for you. Get this SHOOTING PEOPLE!!!! Another plus is that this one is directed by Martin one w one at Gen-X. Scorsese, whose somewhat minimalist style is always challenging and watch intriguing and whose influence is felt everywhere in modern cinema. Also, Drink this is Jodie Foster's feature film debut, and she's barely 20 years old. this m1 -mo2 Wednesday October 9 2002 Feature •13 ,: " 1 ' -~ e~, ~ ,- t' ~;:::;--' k By Je,ff Latosik

o many Ben Affleck and Julia Roberts Vertigo while you begin to think that all life real­ It wasn't like Alfred Hitchcock to make movies that tied up all s of sexually charged conversations with their lose ends perfectly~ but this one is probably his most -workers, and, if you have time between ambiguous and distutbing. And it is also arguably his most ant serial dating. Well, here are some famous movie, painstakingly filmed in both San Francisco and a major Hollywood studio and recently restored and remastered t to think of picking up before you com­ over a period of three years. The main character is a detective two hours of this affl-iction. If you go to who~xperiences a traumatic evem

.-----...--. Clockwork Orange It is very hard to pick the quintessential Kubrick film. Oh well, let's talk about Clockwork Orange, in which an extremely violent young man is thrown in jail and then put through a rigorous Midnight Cowboy reform program that promises his violent tenden- · I find it hard to accept that this movie was made ill the late cies will be permanently stifled. Once released, he 60's. Though it certainly does not feel like the movies """'"="" 1 has a string of ill-fortune and comes into contact being released nowadays (particularly because it doesn't with many of his prior victims, who beat him up or plot to murder suck), it is not dated in the same way other movies from him, and the irony is that he can no longer remember them or what the 60's are. The story: a small town country boy moves to he did to them. The movie explores the dark side of human nature New York with aspirations for making his fortune as a male and the ways in which modern society deals with that dark side. If prostitute (this was very controversial when it first came violence is not your thing, the toned down version of this movie is out). His dreams of fortune quickly fall by the wayside One Flew Over The Cuckoo 's Nest, whfch is also excellent. My intu­ though, as he quickly realizes the big city is a harsh, unforgiving place where ition tells me that you 've probably seen that one though, and so money is lost much, much faster than it is gained. C'est Ia vi? Not if you 've got Clockwork Orange may be the nextstep to take towards "the dark to buy food and put a roof over your head, and to this end he befriends a side" if that's where you like to spend.your Friday evenings. skuzzy lowlife named Rizzo, of whom he develops a strangely touching rela­ tionship with. Another Academy Award Winner and for good reason.

Three Movies So Bad They!re Good -----.Double Team The Thundercats movie Picking a bad movie in the Van Honestly, I don't know what I Damme section of your video store was thinking. Well, no I do is like trying to find· hay in a know what I was thinking, the haystack. Forget your Schwarz-a­ Thundercats are a good group wats-its, your Stallones and Segals, if rr ~ ' 1 of individuals and their televi­ anyone ever had a calling to star in sion series was incredible, but the movie they made was superficial, cliche ridden movies it is .--.,------.Jack Frost worse than ten Van Damme movies. Think about it. They good ol' Jean Claude. I would have Opening .scene: it's Christmas Eve and a land on third earth and in a matter of days Panthro has to say though that Double Team serial killer is being transported from somehow assembled a mobile, .heavily armed land unit with takes top honors for horrible in the vast catalogue of crap, one prison to another for his execution. sticks and rocks. Oh , don't forget that massive "cats layer" only because Denise Rodman plays Jean Claude's totally The vehicle gets into an accident with a either, which was also made in a matter of hours using mis-cast sidekick, and Denise Rodman should never, ever, truck filled with radioactive waste and ????????? And another thing, how is it that Loin-o and Tigra ever, have decided to try on the acting hat. Embarrassing a 1 he becomes a deadly mutant snowman. are having a video conference in the "cats layer" with some­ would be a kind way of saying how his acting skills come Yes, you read that one right. Adeadly mutant snowman. That body on some other planet and Snarf is on both ends of the off. Some other things to look forward to: a wide variety snowman then begins to run maliciously amuck throughout communication signal? I mean , there 's only one Snarf!!! of one liners, an elaborate fight scene with a tiger, a a nearby suburban neighbourhood. And even ·though he is What are we supposed to make of this??? Well, maybe conti­ bizarre pseudo-masturbation scene with a bathtub (you 'll essentially three big balls of snow with a carrot for a nose , nuity was not one of the main concerns of those who made know what I mean when you see it) and a plot riddled the police can not, for some godforsaken reason, subdue this movie , but the Tbundercats movie is still worth watch­ with hole after hole after ..... you get the point. See this him. So that's where, sigh, a few of the neighbours, groan, ing, if only to chuckle at the various "listen-to-your-parents­ one with your friends, and drif1k lots of beer while you take matters into their own hands and, egads, hatch a plot to kids" messages, peppered throughout the dialogue so bla­ watch it. The more you drink the more tolerable it will be. terminate the giant snowman. Some of these murder scenes tantly it makes GI Joe 's post-show specials look subtle and Drink straight whiskey and you may even grow to love are absolutely priceless, though. Imagine someone dressed clever. this movie. in a huge novelty snowman coStume sneaking up on an unsuspecting victim, and then bludgeoning them with a crowbar while cackling. Trust me, however ridiculous it may look in your head, that is nothing compared to how it actu­ ally looks in this movie. 14Entertainment Wednesday October 9 2002 Revolutionary Pop Noir Gavin Graham Thursday. Combining elements of track from their debut "End of a romanticism, theatrics, and a har- Hollywood Bedtime Story," "There's many different schools of rowing intensity in their music, the "Heathrow or Deathrow" and an rock and roll." explains Natalia band explores the drama of every encore performance of "Acoustic Yanchak, keyboardist for The day life, but refuse to take them- Guitar Phase" that saw Lightburn Dears, "and everybody's goals are selves seriously. "I wouldn't say return to the stage wearing the different; we just want to express that we, in our everyday lives, are symbolic guise of a military hel- those emotions that don't get dramatic people but I think that we met. expressed, but need to." Virtually appreciate the drama that exists in Using them as "an easy vessel to peerless in Canada, The Dears' art life every day." express an idea," The Dears have rock reflects this necessity with an Thursday's set certainly explored recorded two EP's since their full- earnest and heartfelt attention to this drama. Opening with three length debut. Orchestral Pop Noir detail. "People are afraid to go straight songs from their pending Romantique, released in 2001, and there, but we're not taking the full-length second album, The 2002's Protest, which includes the easy way out." Dears captivated the Wilf's audi- track "Summer of Protest," have Very few artists in Canada can ence while building a tension that provided a creative outlet for the truly lay claim to the genre of art- banc! and have "afforded them a lot rock, though very few, if any, of artistic leeway." artists in Canada are like The "I think there's a "Musically [Protest} is very dif- PHOTO Dears. "Things are changing a lot huge ferent from the pop side of The FILE wealth of This venue looks just like Wilf's, doesn't it. in Indie music - we're moving incredible talent in Dears. It's one song in three away from the easily defined early movements.. .with a message that uncompromising, challenge the lis- '90s and the Halifax scene [Sloan, this country." is pretty dark and foreboding - a tener to question, as Yanchak stat- Eric's Trip, Thrush Hermit and warning of what can happen to our ed, the state of our world and how Hardship Post, for example.]" - world." With the three movements we advance through it; musically, The Dears Gavin hosts a weekly show every There are a lot of bands there, being titled "Heaven Have Mercy the instrumentation is layered and out Tuesday 12-1:30 on Radio and The Dears aren't fitting into on Us," "Summer of Protest," and diverse with a pounding tension from Laurier showcasing the best in of their categories. climaxed with the mantra "No Hope Before Destruction," that stresses the urgency of their any Canadian independent and "It's easy to say that the Canadian "Revolution", repeated by singer The Dears aren't making it difficult message. under-exposed music. He will be music scene is crap, because all Murray Lightburn during the clos- for us to recognize this warning. The EP, which you can order writing a weekly column for The we're exposed to every day is crap; er, "Summer of Protest." The ten- "It comments on the state of affairs from the bands website at Cord on the same topic, including but I think there's a huge wealth of song (but over 90 minute) set in the world today... with the three www.thedears.org, comes encased exclusive interviews with some incredible talent in this country." included a total of five songs off of movements documenting the in a steel overlay and is limited to of our country's finest talent. The Dears have just finished the aforementioned and currently stages." 500 pressings. A manufactured their brief tour of Ontario, which unnamed upcoming release. Listening to Protest is an aural version will be available for pur- included a stop at Wilf's this past Other highlights were the title exercise: the lyrics, direct and chase in stores later this fall. ear candy

Although they are a relatively and get better in the future, Tell All they're LifeHouse, and not the presentation of LifeHouse "all new band, Taking Back Sunday fea- Your Friends is definitely enough many other bands they've imitat- grown up". It sounds like they've tures good production values and to set the group apart from the rest ed. simply gone back to their teens. incredibly catchy songs that will sit of the pack for the time being. And The vocals have evolved (if you The one bit of kudos that can in your head for days. Guitarist Ed if you are telling all your friends, want to call it that) into a hybrid of be given to the band is that they've Reyes was once in punk-pop super- please make sure you don't know Creed, Hootie And the Blowfish, created something that would group The Movielife and his expe- anybody who works for MTV. Fuel and Pearl Jam. Unfortunately sound great in a live, intimate set- rience is evident in most of the because of the Hootie sound, it's ting like a small theatre. I would songs on the album, while vocalist Chris Clemens very difficult to understand what suggest that anyone who loves this Adam Lazzara belts out semi- the song was saying. Having the band to be on the lookout for the depressing lyrics in a way that lyrics in front of you is key if you're song "Am I Ever Gonna Find Out," almost makes you wish your girl- the type that likes to sing along (or bound to be their next overplayed friend would dump you so you try to). hit. could fully identify with his mes- The first song on the disc, Tell All Your Friends sage. is kind of a fun love song Melinda Cockburn Taking Back Sunday "Spin," # Don't get me wrong though, and would be great driving music. this is no whiny '800 hoo, watch However, this song draws you into me cry' band. Songs like "Cute the CD but only for bit let I'm sure you've all heard of bands a of a Without the 'E'" carry as much down. The slower and such as Saves the Day, Dashboard songs grow anger as you'll hear in anything less The music Confessional and New Found eventful. becomes from prefab angst wonders Linkin Glory, who are currently champi- Our Lady Peace-ish with a hint of Park, and even the less stellar the questioning tone of most oning the emo (short for emotion- tracks on the album ("Bike Scene" Silverchair material. If the lyrics are al) movement in music that MTV comes to mind) are performed sat- read without the CD playing, it's has recently set its sights on isfactorily and fit nicely into the Stanley Climbfall noticeable that the disc has been exploiting and homogenizing. mix. LifeHouse devoted to examining a Thankfully there is still a gold long, musi- This is one of those rare cd's ** cal question about the trials of mine of talent beneath the surface where you actually want to listen falling in love with someone. of the genre that has yet to be the whole way through, rather I started to listen to this CD with The underlying teen force fed to the masses by the angst, than tediously enduring the an open mind, but all 1 could hear and secrecy has Wiretap music television monolith. A confusion been Scars mediocre songs while you wait for was other bands. The latest release somewhat covered by Sparta prime example of this juicy secret LifeHouse's the singles to roll around. All in by the boys responsible for the modern, garage band, country *** is New York punk quintet Taking try- all, an extremely worthy effort. over-played hit "Hanging ing to be rock sound but unfortu- Back Sunday and their delicious By A While Taking Back Sunday Moment" are back, and seem to be nately is still there. This has When they much called it a debut album on Victory Records, disc pretty leaves plenty of room to evolve confused about the fact that been anticipated many to (continued on 15) Tell All YourFriends. by be a page Wednesday October 9 2002 Entertainment·15

(continued from page 14) day in 2001, Texas band At The The dust settles Drive-in were just starting to hit their stride. The previous year's Joseph Manocchio Trying to avoid sounding album, Relationship Of Command, cheesy, to see a band play as well was their finest moment, a thought­ As I entered the Phoenix last as Sparta was playing that night provoking piece of passionate hard­ Tuesday nightfor the show, I real­ lay to rest any questions anyone core that had the hard rock com­ ized that there was a vibe both in had about what this band might munity finally buzzing about a band the air and amongst the people. be able to do, both live and in the that had been kicking around for You see, prior to Sparta, there studio. About midway through several years. was the group called At the Drive­ the show, Ward let everyone Those lamenting At The Drive­ In that was, essentially, the next know how much the band was in's demise will find some comfort big thing in music, but they broke enjoying the show and how - and similarity - in Sparta, not so up. On the edge of breaking appreciative they were of the much a Drive-in offshoot as a some­ through to stardom, the guys of crowd's support. what more accessible vehicle for At the Drive-In could no longer After bringing out the only that band's Jim Ward. Wiretap do it. Just after word got out of adequate and over-qualified Scars, though confrontational as their inception, many had won­ MuchMusic VJ, George expected, finds him moving toward dered what Sparta, comprised of Stroumboulopoulos for an intro­ c ~ Q) something more melodic. Jim Ward on vocals, guitar and duction and song dedication, the cu -- :t:;j Notably absent, however, are the keys, Paul Hinojos on guitar, Matt band said no more: they let their "SPAR.KLI NG & !..... Q) FUNNY! (1) urgency, unpredictability and Miller on bass and Tony Hajjar on music speak for them. You could Ll KE 'BABETTE'S quirky nature that made drums, would bring us musically. get a feel for the whole night just FEAST. 'EAT O)so DR.INK MAN Relationship Of Command a They gave us Wiretap Scars by watching Paul go at his guitar WOMAN' AND ..CQ)O refreshing cut above your standard­ which was a truly amazing album. and yell his backing vocals, or 'CHOCOLAT. IT 0) ..c ·­ BELONGS TO THE ::J 0 issue guitar rock. Not that the Sparta took the stage in front watching Matt bounce around the CANON OF THE c straight-up Wiretap Scars is a of 550 fans and went right into stage with his bass. It truly was FILMS THAT LINK ..ccu.8 FOOD AND LOVE." L pedestrian or uninspired affair. It the song "Sans Cosm" and phenomenal. Their final two "TilE NfWYORK TIMES just doesn't offer the thrills we throughout the entire set, their songs were, in my opinion, the might've hoped for. high energy kept the crowd far best. Their first single off of MOSTL YMARTHA aboutabov OPENS FRIDAY- Plays One Week! I Fri./Sat. Oct 11/12, 4:45pm. Mon. at 2:15pm from disappointed. It was obvi­ Wiretap Scar, "Cut Your Ribbon" Ross MacDonald ous that the band was really into was full of energy but they did, The past will connect them. the crowd and vice versa, which however, save their best song for The passion will possess them. only emphasized the atmos­ last. The song ·~r" might be one GWYNETH PALTROW AARON ECKHART Editor's Note: In the Thursday, I phere. By the time Sparta broke of the best songs I have heard in September 26, 2002 issue of the into the more somber, keyboard a long time and with that it was Cord, Nicole Wilker wrote the infected "Cataract," and the very over. Sparta left the stage but left POSSESSION review for Theory of a Dead Man's Cure-ish "Collapse", the crowd, an amazing impression on the Wed.& Thurs Oct 9/10. 7:00pm ~ . selfti(l~d de(:Jut alb~m. not.~ including myself, realized that crowd who were there to witness Melinda Cockburn. Apologies to they were seeing something spe­ their performance. ~~- ~CINEMA_j http://princess.sentex.net both writers cial. ;:; UPTOWN WATERLOO 6 Pnncess Street West • 885-2950 16Arts Wednesday October 9 2002 What a Novel Idea An introductory look at various genres ofnovel Stefenie Butcher Mystical beings like faeries or dragons and themes of magic can be found in a Fantasy We all have our favourite genres of books, book. The main character (usually human, in novels that we love to read - the books we physical appearance at least), has some form would spend our time enjoying if we weren't of magical 'aid' to beat a quest they've been spending all our time reading subject-heavy charged to journey. Books like The textbooks! Come 0n... who wouldn't want Runelords trilogy by David Farland, The to read a fantasy novel rather than a five Chrome Borne by Mercedes Lackey or A hundred page Psychology text that weighs Storm of Swords by George R.R. Martin are more than anything else in our bag? But great examples of fantasy. let's talk about genre, baby. What makes a Historical fiction is an interesting genre. mystery novel a mystery novel? What IS his- A historical fiction novel typically answers torical fiction? two questions: what happened? and why it Let's start off easy, shall we? To make happened? It's an attempt to make the past things less confusing for everyone the four come to life once again and to re-tell a story genres we're going to focus on are science that actually did occur...with a little bit of fiction, fantasy, historical fiction and embellishment. It takes 'dead' facts like action/adventure. bygone kings, epic battles and details of har- First: the out-of-this-world genre that is rowing voyages and brings them back to life. PHOTO science fiction. According to author Ray Check out any book by Wilbur Smith or FILE Elizabeth Chadwick to experience a great Bradbury, "Science fiction is really sociologi- These are some of the best examples of the sci-fi, fantasy, action/adventure and historical fic- historical fiction novel. cal studies of the future; things that the tion. Check them out when, and if, you ever have time for some leisurely reading. writer believes are going to happen by put- The last genre is action/adventure. I novel, which in was made a ting two and two together." There are many should explain that I have grouped together action. The Hunt for Red October by Tom tary 2001 into forms of sci-fi books out there: Post-war, far four sub-genres into this category of novel: Clancy, which has been made into a movie, movie, starring Matt Damon. Well there have this future, Utopias, alternate Earth/alternate mystery, espionage, war/military and thriller. is an excellent example of this sub- genre. you it, guys. Maybe novel' is a loose to little bit assist you in under- worlds and time travel, to name a few. If Mystery is pretty straightforward. The plot 'Thriller term applied any of insight will you're interested in learning what the future revolves around a crime of some sort (i.e. a book with action or adventure added in. The standing the genres that are available out to take holds for us (according to different authors), murder) and features a protagonist who thriller novel features a chase or a show- there for you the next time you want from or you might want to check out Dune by Frank attempts to solve what happened. Nemesis down and usually ends with a daring and a break that 500-page law textbook lab book have to Herbert, Lightening by Dean Koontz or by Agatha Christie is a great mystery; in fact, heroic rescue. Bag of Bones by Stephen King the 200-page chemistry you Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury. anything by Agatha Christie can be consid- is a great thriller by an amazing author. struggle through! If any of these genres have a take a walk down to the Next up... fantasy. Contrary to popular ered a very good mystery novel. War/military novels generally pro- seem interesting, and check them out. belief, fantasy is not related to science fic- Espionage covers almost any book about tagonist who is part of an armed service, public library The tion. It is actually in a genre of its own, but spies and spying. This sub-genre has two normally fighting for a 'superpower'. oftentimes gets lumped together with sci-fi. strains. The espionage novel is usually realis- setting of the novel usually includes a war or form of conflict that can be Fantasy focuses more on supernatural and tic, and often has no sex and only brief bits some armed non-rational phenomena that completely of violence. The espionage thriller varies either real or imagined. Black Hawk Down disregard the laws of our own world. slightly, adding gore, seduction and more by Mark Bowden, is an excellent war/ mili- The hills are alive... Music students share their talents With the school Erin Lawson to spend a couple of hours and a really good way to break into the world of classical Chances are, if you have never taken a music music (which can be a daunting task upon or language class, you will have had little first sight). In these informal concerts you contact with the John Aird Centre. Indeed, are welcomed to enjoy yourself in a com- you may not know where it is at all. Within fortable atmosphere, surrounded by your the first three floors of that building is peers. You will be part of an audience to housed the Laurier Music Faculty. Though people who are pleased that such a large we are one of Laurier's smaller faculties we crowd has turn out in support. are one of the best music programs in Your first chance to catch one of the Canada. Faculty concerts is this Thursday, October SIEMENS Isolated from the rest of the school, we 10th, at 8 p.m. in Maureen Forrester Recital are released from the faculty for only 1.0 Hall (Located on the first floor of the elusive DEBRA displays by of non-music credit per year. Our reward for John Aird Centre). Our amazing Faculty This student her talent playing the violin in the music lounge on the third floor the John Aird Building. this, at the end of 4 years, is a diploma read- Orchestra will play their first concert of the ing BMus-bachelor of music-making, to us season. Conducted by our cello and cham- ing this one, before he died at 35-what have Second is Jason White, a 4th year piano that's much better than your average gener- ber music professor Paul Pulford, the con- you done lately). But this concert has one major, who will be playing Georges al arts major, and leading us to a "promising cert will feature a veryaccessible program of very special claim - which is that it features Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue. Written in career in the ever thriving classical music great music that anyone can enjoy. some of our concerto competition winners. 192*4. it combines elements of jazz and clas- industry." Hmm... There will be two works on the program by Two of our music students will appear as sical, as its composer looked to bridge the Unfortunately, this segregation causes us W.A. Mozart, who in my opinion should be soloists with the orchestra, having been cho- gap between classical and jazz styles of com- to fall out of the loop with the rest of the everyone's introduction to classical music. sen last year after two rounds of composi- position, therefore appealing to a wider University, and vice versa. And this means Opening the concert is the Overture his tion to be feature in this year's symphony audience, and interesting more people in all that the rest of the school, more often that opera The Magic Flute (instrumental only, program. the different types of music around them, not, misses out on a lot of the events put on don't worry, we'll start you into actual opera First is Beth Lowes, a fourth year cello per- not just the main stream. Not unlike what by the Faculty of Music. These events are in November). Closing the program will be formance major, who will be playing the alle- I'm trying to do. So, here's to hoping you free to all WLU students, they are a nice way his final symphony No. 41 in C major (mean- gro (meaning the fast section) from Dvorak come and see for yourself what the music ing he wrote 40 other symphonies pre-dat- concerto in B minor for cello and orchestra. kids have been up to. Pick up your copy of the K ®|pi BluprintMagazine J

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For the printout checklist and more details, go to wm Good luck detective! 18Student Life Wednesday October 9 2002 24 hours of touchdowns Laurier hosts charity game to raise money and set worldrecord lion dollars and has helped thou- Saturday morning, the group Mary Hermsen sands of kids. expected that the rest of the The organization's intentions money would come in through The world's longest touch football are to ensure that children develop corporate sponsors including game was played last Friday at a healthy lifestyle, build self- CKCO, M&M Meat Shops, The Wilfrid Laurier's University esteem, learn about teamwork, Record and other local businesses. Stadium. Members of the commu- and strive for personal excellence. Money came in from many dif- nity played from 11 am on Friday Its main goal is to develop the ferent activities during the 24-hour to 11am on Saturday to help raise community and make it better for period, including barbecues and money to the children, raffles. open a local instilling lead- Throughout the full day there chapter of ership skills were many challenges the team Kid Sport. "The weather was along with had to deal with. Besides the obvi- KidSport is unlike anything I've self-confi- ous exhaustion that would come an organiza- ever seen," Sweeney dence. from playing for 24-hours they had tion dedicated This to deal with the treacherous to raising said. particular idea weather conditions on Friday money for eco- was inspired night. nomically and by a similar "The weather was unlike any- socially disadvantaged children, event in Halifax last January when thing I've ever seen," Sweeney ASSELIN helping provide them with an the world's longest hockey game said. In spite of this though, an JENN opportunity to participate in was played to raise money for uncooperative Mother Nature did- One of the many community members who came out to support KidSport organized sports. KidSport. n't affect the spirits of the players the cold was much easier to stadium wasn't too much of a prob- Peter Sweeney, one of the Six men from the local commu- and supporters too much. "In that," deal with then the rain." lem. coordinators of the event as well as nity, all involved in men's touch fact," Sweeney said, "there was not Laurier supported this event by One of Laurier's stu- a player, stated that: "we were for- football league, were main organiz- one point where anyone ques- business allowing the use of stadium for dents, Lindsay Norton, played tunate enough to play sports as ers of the event. Responsibilities tioned why we were out there. No our a the whole night. The university large role the event, as she kids. To enable kids to participate were divided up among the six to one said, this sucks or lets stop." in also donated the cost of the t-shirts and other was something we thought was get support and to expand the The group of supporters lights helped design and the game ball. marketing tools. important." teams using volunteers from the including many of the players fam- Only two local stadiums could If would like to find out KidSport began in 1993 in community. In total, there were ily members had to crowd under a you have possibly hosted the event more about Sport please go to British Columbia. Since then, the about 25 players. tent but still stuck around to watch Kid of the need for lit play- the web site www.kidsport.on.ca. organization has spread across The goal of the event was to the game. because a ing field - Centennial Stadium and Canada raising money for disad- raise $24,000 for the organization. The team also had to deal with Laurier's University Stadium. In vantaged children. KidSport has Having reached approximately the cold in the morning but that spite of the strike the use of the managed to raise over three mil- $21,000 at around 9:3oam by was all right. Sweeney commented Foodfor thought selection ends there. Cake slices are a tad pricey as they run at There is also the soup of the day. In this $3-00 each. The cost can be defended JenniferAsselin case, it was cream of potato and bacon. though because they are specialty cakes and Combinations are also available with salads, made fresh daily. Food, glorious food...it was like a scene soups, and sandwiches. For pastries and other small cookies, the from the musical "Oliver". The Alpine Cafe, Personally, I chose the tuna sandwich on price ranges from $1.00 to $2.00. There are was a welcome change from the everyday brown and my friend decided to try the egg bargains available here too. By purchasing food selection found on campus. salad. Both sandwiches were freshly made six or more sweets, there is no tax. As well, The small setting sets the tone for a to our liking and the service was prompt you can get a slice of cake for only $2.75 quiet lunch with friends. Lighting is dim and and friendly. when buying a sandwich and soup or salad. appropriate to the overall atmosphere of When asked what the biggest sellers in the restaurant. Adult Contemporary music the cafe were, the response was the cakes. plays softly in the background. Seating is Cake can be made to order, with the mixed intimate which makes it nice for conversa- "That's some good fruitcake being the most popular. tion. With about six tables in the restaurant, nougat ring." Overall, the experience was pleasant. there could be more seating made available. For a light lunch, this is definitely a place Depending on the time of day, the lack of that I would check out again. With the quiet room could pose a problem. setting, students can eat, study and enjoy The main cuisine consists of the three the atmosphere all at the same time.

S's - sandwiches, soups and salads. The Prices for the staples are pretty reason- Hours of operation are also convenient sandwich selection is pretty large which is able. Your basic roast beef or egg salad sand- for the lunchtime crowd as they are open impressive. I mean how many kinds of sand- wich goes for $3.25. The most expensive Monday to Friday from 9:3oam to s:3opm item is the soup and crab salad combo com- and are open a half an hour earlier on ing in at $5.65. Saturdays. The specialty of the restaurant, however, is the selection of pastries and cakes. Most of the desserts are German, ranging from almond bars to mocha butter cream cake. The Alpine Cafe There are also muffins, danishes and 38 King Street South raspberry fruitcake to name just a few. I Waterloo ASSELIN chose to tantalize my taste buds with a slice 884-2224 of Black Forest cake and my friend chose JENN a the nougat ring. As first time nougat eater, Cord's Rating: MCLEAN wiches can one place serve? Wilbur was quick to point out, "That's some roast beef, treat A few of the choices are crab good nougat ring." A cookie- like cov- Out of a possible five smiling Jenn's WILBUR salad, ham and cheese. You also have your ered chocolate, it turned out to be a good in Good food found here,.., and a job too! choice of white or brown bread but the choice. Wednesday October 9 2002 Student Life*: 19

THANKSGIVING DAY Are you a student? Do you have a life? Write for Student Life. FACTS Contact [email protected] The Indians used cranberries to treat infections and they used the juice to dye their rugs and blankets.

-About 280 million turkeys are sold for Thanksgiving celebrations.

-There's no real reason we have turkey for Thanksgiving. Turkey just happened to be the most plentiful meat available at the time of the first Thanksgiving in 1621, starting the tradition.

-Pilgrims ate popcorn at the first Thanksgiving dinner.

-The long fleshy skin that hangs over a turkey's beak is called a snood.

-The color of a wild turkey's naked head and neck area can change blue when mating.

-When turkeys reach maturity they can have as many as 3,500 feath- ers.

-Faster than a speeding bullet, wild turkeys can run up to 55 miles an hour. -The use of corn represents the survival of the colonies. IV/I OLSON Check our new wetisite al -During the 1966 telecast of Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, I sTM a r% c A la ** www.phlpcnaslys.com Ronald McDonald, the fast-food chain's new mascot, made his first- I AAvV •Vf * ever national television appearance. -Right behind Christmas and Thanksgiving, Super Bowl Sunday D ranks as the third-largest occasion for Americans to consume food, N A according to the National Football League. y£ -"Jingle Bells," a popular Christmas song, was actually written for m Thanksgiving. The song was composed in 1857, by James Pierpont, 0,1 PANCIN( IOpm and was originally called "One Horse Open Sleigh". jP9 -Compiled by Asselin I Jennifer L

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Craig Reaney sets it apart from other popular followed by a basketball clinic games. about the fundamentals of the It was only a matter of time before This growth in popularity has game, hosted by the Raptors' basketball and its versatility never been more visual in the Assistant Coaches. The most excit- became popular amongst Kitchener-Waterloo area than this ing aspect of the Raptors event HOWLETT Canadian sports fans. The fact is, past week, when the Toronto was the annual intra-squad game, more and more Canadians are Raptors held their annual training which closed the day's activities. CAITLIN leaning towards the game of bas- camp at RIM Park. This year was To all who were in attendance Vince Carter (#l5) and thousands of fans watch the ball in anticipation ketball as their sport of choice, or, the first of a two-year contract. of this game, it became clear that at the very least, are starting to The Raptors signed on to hold the the popularity of the sport of bas- without the Toronto Raptors' Bell Raptors Ball program, many appreciate it for the unique sport camp in K-W, and although daily ketball has grown immensely commitment to continuing the kids are starting to learn the game that it is. work-outs during the week were since the Raptors birth in 1995. growth of basketball within as early as age three. With its Once considered second rate closed to the public, the week did Previously a sport only followed Canada. There is an entirely new focus on fun and the fundamen- in a society dominated by hockey, conclude with Saturday's events by a small number of serious fans, generation growing up in this tals, this program should work basketball is now beginning to open to the masses. the game has now become nation that is oblivious to the time wonders for the game's overall establish a name for itself. While Saturday began with a pep increasingly mainstream in the when professional basketball did growth. its slow growth in spectator num- rally, where Glen Grunwald, Canadian sports world. With both not exist in the Great White Realistically, it is important to bers may be less than encourag- General Manager of the Toronto young and old in attendance for North. note that nobody ever really ing, basketball's exploding num- Raptors,, spoke of the city's sup- the game, it was obvious that this Though basketball's popularity expects basketball to take over ber of participants, especially port and what the upcoming year fast-paced game appeals to all. is growing quickly in hockey coun- and dominate the minds of among Canada's youth, is what has in store for the team. This was Of course, the game itself was try, it is important to note that the Canadians like the game of hockey incredible, with Vince Carter's average Canadian fan still has a does. But if the Raptors organiza- high flying theatrics and Morris long way to go in order to catch tion, as well Canada's National Peterson's smooth jumps stealing up to the rest of the world. This program, can help push the game the show. But what was more sur- was also obvious during continue growing to the extent prising were the events surround- Saturday's events, as the Raptors where basketball is thought of as ing the game. It was the talented announcer had to discuss many of an immediate second, then that in five-year olds dribbling the ball the fundamentals of the game. To itself would be a huge accomplish- down the length of the court at many fans, these concepts are well ment for those that love the game. half-time that seemed to shock understood. However, for most This goal for the game of basket- most people. Additionally, the Canadians, these helpful pieces of ball within Canada has many sup- fans with signs and jerseys sitting knowledge still require further porters and will no doubt be real- in the stands, unexpectedly dis- studying. ized eventually. The conditions HOWLETT playing their detailed knowledge In time, this situation should are improving and the resources of the game, was also a sight to change, as kids are being intro- are beginning to surface. The behold. These scenarios and oth- duced to the game at an earlier important thing to remember now CAITLIN only The Toronto Raptors at UW...they should have came to Laurier, dang it. ers would not have been possible age. With the introduction of the is that it is a matter of time. Golden Hawks soccer conquers York Yeomen

Derek Iwanuk Hawks could not profit from them, resulting

in the 1 - 1 draw. The Laurier men's soccer team had a busy Despite the draw, Head Coach Barry weekend, as they played host to cross-town MacLean seemed satisfied with the tie, con- rivals the Waterloo Warriors on Saturday, as sidering all of the injuries affecting his team. well as to York University's Yeomen on Laurier standout forward Niki Budalic is one Sunday. of a handful of players sidelined due to The injury-ridden Golden Hawks fought injury. to a 1 - 1 draw on Saturday against Waterloo. "The teams played pretty well consider- Laurier drew first blood early in the game, as ing it was Waterloo, an always intense game. Wojciech Cwik sent a rocket of a free kick, Right now we need to come back from which found a home in the back of the net injuries," commented MacLean. for the Hawks. However, Waterloo struck If there was any disappointment with the back eleven minutes later, as their forward 1 - 1 draw against Waterloo, the Hawks would redeem themselves the next day, Laurier 1, Waterloo 1 when they would blank out York, with a

- ATHLETICS score of 3 0. The Hawks wasted no time in getting the LAURIER Nick Klassen kicked a bomb from the thirty- offensive fires cooking. A nice ball by Jason Golden Hawk forward Joel Abwunza (#9) is about to kick the ball, and some Yeomen behind five yard line, sending the ball sailing into Lyall set up a beautiful shot for Kenny Nutt the back of the net. to capitalize on, giving the Hawks an early 1 out of the way. Cwik was not done after this York games, MacLean stated that, "There was

Laurier would have several scoring - 0 advantage. Laurier would control the play, however, as he put the game out of not much of a difference in our play. Today, chances in the first half. One shot landed on rest of the half with some solid defence and York's reach by scoring a late goal, giving the however, we seemed to be capitalizing on the goal line, but was kicked away by a goaltending, to secure the shutout. Hawks the 3-0 victory. our opportunities and getting some breaks." Waterloo defender at the last second. The Unlike the previous game versus When questioned about the injury situa- first half ended with the Golden Hawks on Laurier getting some Waterloo, capitalized Laurier 3, York 0 tion, MacLean said he hoped that some of key chances, but failing to capitalize on the second half scoring opportunities. the players would be back soon. He expects them. Laurier Athlete of Week Wojciech Cwik was Budalic to be active by Friday. Hopefully, the The second half seemed to mirror the the offensive workhorse for the Hawks, as Again, MacLean was happy with the out- week off will allow some of the Laurier soc- first. Laurier and Waterloo battled it out, he broke away from the York defenders and come of the game, even more so because of cer players to heal their wounds and extract with both teams missing key scoring fired a rocket past the York goalkeeper, the victory, despite all of the injuries. a little revenge, as the Hawks take on chances. Key opportunities continued to Mario Cicciarella. The shot was so hard, it When asked about the difference in the Waterloo again on October 11, at University develop until late in the game, but the appeared as though Cicciarella was moving team's offence between the Waterloo and Stadium. Wednesday October 9 2002 Sports* 21

Golden HawkScoreboard

Tennis girls triumph - Cross Country (away): Men's Golf (Challenge Cup UW): I.Toronto 30 1. Waterloo 21.5 of grape juice. 2. Ottawa Lions 68 2. Guelph 17 Michelle Chan This year, the Hawks feel that they have 3. Queen's 83 3.Laurier 14.5 been spoiled by an excellent coaching staff. 4. Ottawa Gee-Gee's 100 4. Toronto 11.5 The Laurier women's tennis team has solidi- This staff consists of veteran Dennis Huss, 5. Queen's TC (A) 126 s.McMaster 10.5 fied an OUA play-off spot, edging the U of T and two newcomers: Head Coach Nick Keller 6. McMaster 162 Blues 4 - 3 and defeating the stronger McGill and Assistant Coach Cam Murray. Keller is a 7. Laurier 171 Women's Hockey (Exhibition):

- twelve-hour fourth Martlets 5 2 in a lengthy tour- year Waterloo student, while Murray is 8. Queen's TC (B) 246 Laurier 3 Laurier 1 Racket Club, last nament, held at Northfield a a second year Laurier student. Guelph 1 Guelph 0 Saturday. The 2002 Laurier coaching staff offers a Women's Field Lacrosse (away): victorious for the wide of It was a long, yet day variety strengths and capabilities to Laurier 12 Laurier 8 Men's Hockey (York tournament): doubles Hawks in skirts. Top notch partners, the team. Their knowledge of the sport and Guelph 8 Toronto 16 Laurier 7 Laurier 4 Kim Foote and Anne DeNure, maintained an mentoring greatly helped the team accom- RMC 4 York 3 outstanding, almost undefeated season after plish their goal of making a first OUA playoff successfully beating the Toronto Blues 8 - 6. appearance. "If your racket and head are up, Men's Football (away): Women's Soccer (home): The Hawks also defeated a stronger it means that you are strong, confident and Laurier 9 Laurier 1 Laurier 1 McGill team in a hard fought doubles match. ready to play," Keller commented when Queen's 12 Waterloo 0 York 1 With the assistance from the coaching skills referring to the success of Laurier this sea- O'Neil, of Kerri Laurier was able to overcome son. Women's Rugby (away): Men's Soccer (home):

- the a close Golden Hawk Sarah seems the 2 6 deficit and clinch win in Weiss Laurier 27 Laurier 1 Laurier 3 tie-breaker. impressed with her coaches. "Dennis told me Brock 18 Waterloo 1 York 0 Lisa Morris managed to take down the U to focus on each point and forget about my doubles contest with mistakes." said Weiss. "After of T Blues in a partner that, I started to Men's Rugby (away): Laurier 3 Queen's 69 O'Neil, and also defeated McGill's fifth seed think about where to put each ball instead".

in singles, despite an annoying cold. "It's Weiss won her match against U of T, 0 - 2 and

" the day of The Lisa.' Morris laughingh 7 - 6, in a close tiebreaker of 9 - 7 . remarked. Sadly, this may be Huss' last season with Up-and-coming rookie Kasia Poplawski the girls, as thoughts of retirement and trav- won her match against the second-seeded el take over. "There are about 180 some-odd

player from McGill, 6 - 2 and 6-1. Poplawski countries out there, and my wife and I want also reigned victorious in both of her dou- to see as many as possible," commented bles matches, when she teamed up with Zita Huss. Huss will be leaving for India with his Bogner. Bogner is a fourth year exchange stu- wife on Wednesday and will be greatly missed Warehouse Store dent from Hungary. by the Golden Hawks women's tennis team. Bogner was also successful on her own in Laurier next travels to Kingston on announces exclusive retail of the tournament, winning both of her match- Sunday, October 20 to take on the York es on Saturday, despite almost breaking a Yeowomen and the Queen's Golden Gaels in racket string during a game against against what will be be a challenging tournament. McGill. Fortunately, she (and the string) The women's tennis OUA Championships _earth , prevailed, thanks to a little patience and a lot transpire on October 25, at York University.

' there's nothing like it"* The Duffman speaks All feet are unique, in size and shape. So, we have created an adjustable Comfort Fit Systemo. Every pair of stadium and grabbed myself a seat. i|| Earth footwear comes with 2 sets of interchangeable Colin Duffett Perfect, I can see the whole field and it's a | footbeds. One set is thicker, and comes inside the shoes. The other is thinner, and comes inside the box. ||| of fans a nice day with lots cheering. It's Mix and match footbeds to determine what feels best to good game but wait, there is something you: eerily wrong with this picture. Narrow: Insert the thin footbed, then insert the thick It is those damn strikers. They are in the footbed directly on top of it. stadium handing out those bloody flyers to Medium: Insert the thin or everybody in the seats. Well, gosh darn it, thick footbed. where did they come from? Why are they Wide: Wear Earth without J0*"" any footbed at all, because ' here and why are they disrupting foot- my Earth comfort is built into the ball game? foundation of the shoe. The Duffman has a problem. No, it's not What right do they have walking into the r that he misses the taste ' }" . of Duff Beer. stands and interrupting the game for the HMIW niiiHiiinii iiiiiimiii I niimiimriiiim liiriiiiiiinii 'Xl' Instead it's a much larger and antagonizing fans that came to watch this Homecoming issue. spectacle? What right do they have to annoy Comfort technologies ''yfPM' Aligns with a calming For a lot of people, the Homecoming the alumni and their respective families, built into our latex rubber reflexive point on the football game is the big event, and rightful- people who aren't even directly involved outsole provides a firm foot & allows toes to grip, plus flexibility ly so. Every year, alumni return to Waterloo with the god-forsaken strike? spread into a natural, and durability. restful position. and to Wilfrid Laurier University, in order to So, I remove it from my mind and go partake in Homecoming back to watching the game, . .. ceremonies, including the but every so often those game. football That's all ...get the heck out people handing out the fly- With your heels resting than fine lower your and dandy. The of the stadium ers manage to walk past toes, you achieve natural body Duffman does not have a and leave the and obstruct my view of the alignment. Your shoulders roll back, and problem with that. The fact game. you breathe easier. >s that he thinks they strike on the side- should come back more walk. GET OUT OF MY GOD Largest Selection ofEarth Shoes in Waterloo Region... often because that way the DAMN WAY! bleachers don't look so damn empty. Hell, get out of the stadium. You have no GREATSHOES...GREATDEALS! This year, there was a different sight to reason to be there unless it is to watch the Come Tiy On Something Totally Different. see on Homecoming weekend. The WLUSA game and have a good time. Instead, here strikers out on the picket lines, who were they are walking through the bleachers and standing in their huddles holding their Tim talking to people about the "unfair" and 133Weber Street. N M A 112 A /X /% Horton's coffee and asking us, those attend- "unjust" proposals that the WLU administra- ing the football game, if we have received tion is implementing. 746-4903 the new WLUSA flyer yet. Give me a break, get the heck out of the HOURS: Well, I grabbed my own copy to read stadium and leave the strike on the side- later Mon.-Wed. 9:30 a.m.-8:00 p.m. ; Thurs. & Fri. 9:30 a.m.-9:00 p.m. ; Sat. 9:00 a.m.-6:00 p.m. on, quickly side-stepped the people on walk, where it bloody well belongs. I don't Sun. 12:00-5:00 p.m. the picket lines, promptly walked into the have time for your shenanigans. 22 Sports Wednesday October 9 2002

Soccer kicks some tricks Interested in rookie defender Ashley Brad Archbell Hill was able to head the Law or an MBA? ball off the goal line, The Laurier women's allowing goalkeeper soccer team rebounded Jessica Montagano to from a tough loss last recover the rebound and Don't Miss the... week, defeating the prevent a goal.

Waterloo Warriors 1 - 0 The Golden Hawks on Saturday afternoon, came out strong at the inside the friendly con- begining of the second and Education fines of University half, and Laurier's ability Law MBA Fair Stadium. to control the middle of The Golden Hawks the field soon became ATHLETICS soared over the Warriors evident. Waterloo was sti- in the first half, produc- fled by the Hawks' LAURIER Wednesday October 16 ing a number of scoring impressive defensive trio Hawks Kristy Elinesly and Jenn Kitching battle it out, chances. Defender of Heimpel, Hill and sec-

Heather Heimpel forced ond-year player Kristy Coach Barry MacLean the 1 - 0 score indicates. 4:3opm to 7:oopm the Waterloo goalkeeper Elinesly. On the offen- was satisfied with the On Sunday, the into a tough save with a sive end, Laurier contin- result. "I'm very pleased Hawks played their sec- long, curving free kick ued to attack the with the women's per- ond game in as many Paul Martin Centre from thirty yards out, Waterloo goal, creating formance," he said. "It days, this time hosting and midfielder Tammy several chances to score, was a solid win." the York Yeowomen. The the without Hawks the Scurr delighted although suc- Laurier controlled opened scor- Come & meet with representatives from crowd with a crafty run cess. the ball for the majority ing on a goal by Tammy into the penalty area, In the eighty-seventh of the second half, at Scurr minute, but York Canadian & US law & MBA schools to which required another minute, Laurier finally times appearing to play responded in the thirty- learn about their programs, great save by the broke the scoreless tie keep-away from the fifth minute with an Waterloo keeper. on a sweeping corner Waterloo midfielders. equalizer. Strong goal- admission requirements Waterloo was able to kick from Heimpel, When Waterloo did gain keeping at both ends in penetrate Laurier's usu- which Leanne O'Ryan possession, one of the second half saw this and application procedures ally tight defense on finished off with a head- Laurier's excellent game finish in a 1-1 draw, occasion, and the er. With only a few short defenders usually won it pushing Laurier's record Warriors were forced to minutes remaining in the back within seconds. It to 4-1-2, with three regu- create scoring chances game, Waterloo was appeared as though the lar season games remain- from corner kicks and unable to respond, and Hawks could control the ing. The next action for free kicks. One such set the match ended in a 1 - flow of play at will, mak- the women's soccer team Services piece threatened to give 0 victory for the Golden ing their victory even is Friday, October 11, Laurier Career tbe aminteni «112 *pwl Waterloo the lead, but Hawks. more convincing than when they visit Waterloo. Mjnian^rnijm wiujao flflMlpublications; Assignment Manager Annlv Onlinp Pi t For the first time The Cord Weekly will be hiring an Assignment Manager. r ~^ ' 1 e c uty tlie Assi 9 nment Manager is to work with section editors to WWW W stories and that deadlines for • AU&P • vOIII ensure are assigned content are met. £_ Photos must be co-ordinated with the Photo Department. The Assignment We need more volunteers Manager must also meet frequently with the Editor-in-Chief and the Production Manager to ensure that everything is well planned for each issue. This position will provide an honourarium of $1000 to the successful The following position applications are due applicant. Thursday, October io, 2002 at 4 : oopm. Applications are due Thursday, October 10, 2002 The Cord Opinion Editor Contact David Field at 884-0710 x 3565 or [email protected] for more info. The Cord - Entertainment Editor

The following position applications are due Friday, m m |Q| October 10, 2002 at 2:30 pm.

Human Resources Manager - Department Head 112J Keystone Section Editors 1

„. Keystone Writers ~ ~. . , .„

— _ . _. foll(r , is —, , , , ClubLauner.ca hmne the me volunteer positions: BluPrint Production Assistants E-book Institute Members Events Editor Web Designer Finance Directors Interactive Editor Wireless Designer Information Technology Directors Sports Editor Graphic Artist Public Relations Directors In Depth Editor Writers/Columnists Distribution Directors Wireless Editor All applications for ClubLaurier are due Friday, October 18, 2002 at 2:30 pm. Wednesday October 9 2002 Business 23 Fraud: a step-by-step guide Employee theft is becoming frighteningly typical in today's business world

Lewis Merolli, a third year BBA account- Byron Pascoe ing student, describes the recent accounting actions in the news as "des- During the 2000 Fall Term, when I sat picable." He further states that, "there in my first-year Introductory Business is no reason to cook the books. You are lab, the T.A. passed around an ethics going to get caught, and it's going to be quiz. Our class was asked a series of worse than reporting a loss today. questions about what our actions Those guys should be put in jail forev- would be when given various choices er; they ruined a lot of people's lives." concerning ethics in Insider trading is the workplace. One another account- PHOTO particular question ing-related fraud FILE that I haven't forgot- "Accounting that has received a Enron has become synonymous with accounting fraud. Restoring investor confidence is going to take time ten asked if we would lot of attention due steal pens from our fraud is a deserv- to the Martha measure and improve the performance are insufficient to guarantee effective fell to its lowest level in nearly four employer. Both my ing and timely Stewart saga. She of both board of directors and CEOs. corporate governance. Equally impor- years. He said that, "It's time to act deci- friend beside me and definition of just happened to This project is being undertaken to tant is creating an organizational cul- sively to bring a new era of integrity to I answered that we have sold 3,928 help restore investor and public confi- ture that fosters good behavior for the American business." Any world leader wouldn't. Maybe we unethical corpo- shares in ImClone dence in the wake of the collapse of benefit ofshareholders and companies can make statements like these or were young and rate behaviour" Systems Inc. the high-profile companies such as Enron alike." enact rules that tell the masses to be naive, or maybe we day before the com- and WorldCom. "If we are to regain the trust of good citizens and to abide by corporate just were not aware pany revealed bad This new guideline will apply the investors and ensure the health ofglob- ethical standards. Some people believe of the lack of stan- news about its new principles of the balanced scorecard in aUnarkets, it is vital that companies that indicting criminally liable top exec- dards of corporate ethics that have cancer daig Erbitux. While she did corporate governance. The four sec- □early show that theyare adopting and utives is a good enough detenence for recently become a big topic in the eye avoid losses of $45,673, her involve- tions on the scorecard are financial, adhering to rigorous governance prac- our generation to avoid making the of the public. ment in the scandal has crippled her stakeholders, internal processes, and tices," stressed Isman. "CMA Canada's same mistakes. However, what it Accounting fraud is a deserving self-made dynasty; Martha Stewart learning and growth. This represents a guideline on a balanced scorecard for a comes down to is a simple choice: We and timely definition of unethical cor- Living Imnimedia inc. Third-year BBA mix of both financial and non-financial board of directors will be a major con- can take the golden brick road, or take porate behaviour. Last week, federal student Peter Pittner, who truly was not critical performance measures. Each tribution to achieving this goal." the ethical road less travelled, which prosecutors charged Andrew Fastow, a fan of Martha Stewart before she was section has individual categories of This past July, American President will one day hopefully be the only road Enron Coip.'s Chief Financial Officer accused of insider trading, feels that questions, to which the board of direc- Bush addressed his Congress a day on the map of our corporate world. (CFO), with securities, mail and wire "she's justas guilty of insider trading as tors answers. Based on their responses, after the Dow Jones industrial average fraud, as well as money laundering and the rest of them. Those are the really the scorecard can enable a company to conspiracy. These charges were for annoying people because they make strengthen both its internal and exter- actions between 1997 and 2001 that money at other people's expenses." nal accountability apparently helped Enron trick Within Canada, The Accounting For example, under the stakehold- investors, while Fastow and his part- Standards Board ers section is a cate- ners-in-crime allegedly pocketed mil- (AcSB) is solely gory for "Successful lions of dollars. Enron, an energy trad- responsible for devel- Identification and Bsaaaaffl er, " was once the seventh largest com- oping and setting Management of P" r~/y%gg? ■ Complete 25-Hour Seminar Packages pany in the United States. The compa- accounting standards. "Beyond all the Vari o us ■ Proven Test-Taking Su

. sions within organizations - decisions tion from the financial statements, on with this guideline. 1 A O/ Off that could have severe ramifications for which they can base their decisions... The primary way people try to V ) others. (There is a) trend... among many combat accounting fraud and other ON YOUR

Third-year BBA student Leon stakeholder groups that expensing related offenses is to implement new /•} GRAD SUIT, PROM SUIT, INTERVIEW SUIT, Newcombe believes that, "there are stock options is the right thing to do." controls in order to strengthen compli- WHATEVER THE OCCASION probably many fraud cases, of different Founded in 1920, CMA Canada does ance with existing accounting and proportions in both small and large more than merely grant a designation auditing standards. There are also pun- companies that are not discovered." in management accounting. Among ishments that people could receive if Continuing on this point, Rajpal other tasks, its mandate also includes violate these standards. Alternatively, Sandhu, a Carleton University publishing internationally recognized CMA Canada is addressing broader cor- Engineering student, says that, "unfor- strategic management publications. porate governance issues as a means of tunately accounting fraud will always be The Certified Management restoring investor confidence. carried out at all levels. Therefore it will Accountants of Canada are currently Clare Isman, Chair of CMA 213 King St. W, 744-5271 NOT VALID ON SALE MERCHANDISE - NOT VALID WITH ANY OTHER PROMOTION become a subject of relativity; as in who developing a new corporate gover- Canada's Board of Directors indicated is able to perform it more successfully." nance guideline that is designed to that, "New auditor regulations alone ONE VOUCHERPER COMBINATION OFFER VALID AT THE ABOVE LOCATION: 24 · Classifieds Wednesday October 9 2002

Stefan Sereda The Boys of 24 Ezra, To everyone who had a hand (or I wish I were you. It has been my Maneesh - thartks for the invite to the fist) in my first edition as EIC, dream to be a news editor but sadly my Turret on Saturday night, not stopping How many times can I tell you that I Applicants Wanted "Ultimate Questions" big muscles and rough cut looks have by 161's front porch and putting up love you? Wilbur, you truly are my To study Part N of the Urantia Book The Lord jesus Christ is the difference. made me angry and confused. Your with Marni's shenanigans. Thanks to hero. There is no way that this paper EARN $25,000. For details visit Learn about Him. Bible study by corre­ fan, Mike for working at the Turret. Last, could survive without you. If you left www.eventodaward.com. spondence. Please send name and Vm Diesel but not least, thank rou to Chris for ~ we would simply have to lock up the address to: Bible Study, Zion United enforcing the rule o "ladies first," doors and go home. Caitlin, I get to Star Mens Shops Reformed Church 1238 Main st. Mmmmm ... Beefy Beach. (Barfly!) pouring the best "double gins" and live vicariously through your updates Now Hiring for Christmas. Please fax Sheffield, Om. LOR 120 or e-mail Luv, Cookie Vodka and Maple always stopping by the Hub. on the me. Kristen, you are the only your resume to 519-744-5273. [email protected]. Visit our website Martini Caitlin person who has a laugh worse than www.zurch.on.ca. Sign up today. Its mine. Stefan, you're killing me. Volunteer with friends free. Hey Meeker Kristi Edwards, Melissa, you too have takerr several Volunteer a few hours weekly during Two words ... HEAT UP! Thanks for saving Stefan's ass. News years off of my life. Jenn, how many the school day and make a lifelong dif­ ESL Teacher needed in Korea 1.21 was almost a complete sham this ]enn's out of five do you give this edi­ ference to a child. The FRIENDS serv­ Bachelors degree or higher education is week. You saved students from a tion? Bryn, where are you? ]en W , ice at CMHA matches volunteers with mandatory. Good working conditions Erin Banks, photo of Wayne being violently stop by, it'd be good to meet you. Jeff children who need additional support and wage. Contact info and money GET AJOB! so .... meet me at Phils? Ya, ~panked by a porn star. However, any­ and Brandon, you are my favourites at school. FRIENDS operates in part­ [email protected] or 1-519-574- thats what I thought so. one who wishes to see this photo, simply for not being Stefan. Thanks to nership with the local school bOards 5853 for more information. Your Partner in Crime stop by the WLUSP office. Lucan for the stapler. Can I get a pair and helps children 4 to 15 years. Call The entire Cord staff of scissors? Dave I want to steal your 744-7645 ext. 317 www.cmhawrh.on.ca Travel and Teach English: Will>ur, midterm. Dr A Brown, thanks for the Jobs guarenteed Nice moves. Wish I could have been Saddam Hussein 14-page midterm -I finally found a use TESOL Certified in 5 days (or online or there for your foamy experience. How Please stop building nuclear weapons. for Voo-doo Lou. My girls, I am so by correspondence). Attend a FREE Creamy! Attemping to kill others who disagree glad that you stoppped by; seeing you Wo. Seminar. FREE Infopack: 1-888- Kristen with you is my job. always makes my day. Amy you are 2 rooms for 2 guys 270-2941 or www.globaltesol.com George W. Bush the best roommate and auntie ever. Available for one term only U\..~lllllllllnl Jeff and 1), No matter where this world takes me Jan 1/03. Just across the street at COMPUTERS FOR RENT Much love for all your hardwork for the Ulzh! it is B9 for life. Marghrita, I am sorry Albert. limited parking $90 per P2's and P3's, from $25/month. No com­ Radio Laurier Promo team! And we Tfle Cord's Classifieds are nothing but that I have neglected you my puppy. Don 888-0364 mitment. Delivery available. Online love your candy goodness 1}, and your pointless inside jokes. There's Regan Watts you smell really good. training available from $22.95/month. smell]eff. Cheers! absolutely nothing creamx about them! ... Get it?!? Creamy?.? Room for Rent Ask for Jeff at 800-263-8433. That Sticker Girl Four to eight month lease 2003. One room available in a Do you know anyone that should Bri!! room duplex. Ptice is negotiable. be graduating in the fall? Even Nice seeing you on campus you hot ClassUied Ad Placements 725-3780. though there will be no fall comvecta­ thing you. All of the girls say hi!!!! ------tion, th class composites will be ready Becky tudent; Room For Rent for pick up. Can you let them know or ------$80/week plus utilities @: 102 Albert. organize it so you can pick them up for To the love of my life ... ~ f8i 3r-%~r~grd~rds min walk to WLU. Available now them. They will be ready for pick up FIND ME!! 0 cents for each word over 60 fully furnished. Call Bryden at 747 from Student Publications on Thursdav f October 30th. Any qustions call Angela Chris & Maneesh, Ouantity disc;ount: . Bridgeport Lofts 519-884-0710 ext 3550. Thanks to mv favoutite Tun·et For every 10 placements of the same. ad, you rece1ve Tum of the century building. Bartender arid favoutite EIC for inviting one placement free. modern design. Bicycle room, TURRET CROWD YOU HUNGRY? me to the movies. Can we see lust visiphe WLUSPOffices .on the third floor of the room, laundry. Don't miss this Bring your twoonies out Thursday Telephone Booth next week? 'Fred Nichols Campus Centre. tunity! Phone 1-888-655-557 3. night. The World Affairs Society is hav­ Caitlin Web: www.pdhco.ca ing a fundraising BBQ outside the F.N.C.C. Hamburgers and hotdogs only Ovulating Boy, $2 each!!! WOW! Your seem drives me wild. I won't hold back. I want to lick you from head-to­ Parking Services New Bulletin toe. Your arrogance is intoxicating. I Applicants Wanted to study Pan N need action NOW (6/ong MONTHSG. I Additional Parking Area: the Urantia Book. Earn $25,000! have cobwebs. To all members ofWLUSU: CIE details visit www.wventodaward.com "The arc of the moral universe is long, Waterloo Pentecostal Church (across from Tim Hortons near King & Columbia Streets) Secretary To Go but it bends toward justice." Arden, Are you secretarily challenged? Hang in there, I've been keeping an eye on you since Parking Services and the Church are presently in discussions Nancv at "Secretary To Go" and Ian Ross Samolczyk day one. I have spies working with TSN and the ''Way.'' You'll be mine soon that would see the Church providing parking spaces from those secretarial blues! Home 208 grrlz, 7:00a.m. to 5:00 p.m. for students who Will pick up and deliver. xx.... xn"CJ enough ... soon enough. Sorry the goalposts were already taken, Mr. McKenna comute to campus. but perhaps we can schlock sometime Hip-hop culture at Laurier? At the present, the Church would like to see 50 or more The publisher and editor-in-chief in the science building. All of you are Bee, Toronto-based Pound magazine will too much to handle. Congrats on Athlete of the Week. You spaces being utilized. If you are interested, please email speaking about hip-hop and Chris are my lacrosse idol. Thanks for all your [email protected], to indicate your interest. publishing at St. Michael's guidance and support with the MC .. .I room 125, on Wednesday October JoEy Ramone, think it's all paying off. Thursday night The cost of the permit will be $50.00 or less, and be valid from 4 - 5:20 pm. All are welcome I just happen to have a Sub of Love baby ... Thursday night. up to April 30, 2003. Travel time from the Church to attend. Christian Pearce, editor · handy.~.swing by the booth for a taste. Howie Yo. Laurier is a 12-15 minute walk and Grand River Transit has of Pound, is a Laurier graduate. a stop directly at the Church with a drop-off at ther information, contact Dr. little hitler Changing Lanes Fans, Black, Communication Studies, Your cinematic taste disgusts me. I hate King & University Avenue. [email protected] or ext. 3990. Wd, you both. It takes 3 minutes with the bus, from pick-up to drop-off, What's wrong with the way I talk Harry Potter and buses run every 15 minutes (about $2.80/day). HomieG? }Ass D 0 n ' t c a I I M e If You Don't Want Your Email: name 6 number [email protected] Published in the Phone Phone: 884-0710 ext. 3565 Cord Please Contact the Student Publications ,._ ,J Or Uisit Office: www.wlusp.com