The Tradsheet Founded 1967 Newsletter of the Traditional Car Club of Doncaster December 2019/January 2020 1 EDITORIAL We are approaching the Christmas and New Year season. Easily spotted by the advertising overload of strange perfume adverts, Black Friday deals (but not necessarily on a Friday) and a veritable bombard- ment by the charity industry. Added to the heady mix is an election with all of the promises of wonders to come. I am having a Whatever you vote, I hope nobody is offended by my Christmas Dinner plan. Brexit Christ- In this Tradsheet, Howard Sandford has taken up the challenge of telling us about mas dinner this his motoring past adventures. I really enjoy the stories of how, with our lives ahead year. Same as of us, we do ridiculous things that seem sensible at the time. You can all send as usual but with many stories like this as you like, I find them very enjoyable. I have done some tales a while back now, might do some more, feel free to join in. no Brussels. The Club Annual General Meeting will be held on Wednesday 12th February at the Burghwallis, (it is on a normal club night). It will follow the usual agenda of minutes, reports by committee members, election of the committee for 2020, questions, answers and discussion plus any motions that members wish to put forward. There are no motions as yet and the next Tradsheet will be done to give out at the meeting on January 29th to give the notice required under our rules. This is just an early notice. At this point I would like to tell you the wondrous things that I have done to my cars, but I can’t. It feels like it has been raining, or at least left the ground wet, since my last editorial. As I have a small bit of welding to do underneath on the Herald, dry ground is quite important as electrical tools and water do not mix safely. The Bongo van only failed the MOT on a non working foglight. This is an excellent de- sign that has a hole at the back where it can collect all the rain from road and wheels, fill up with water and rot. A replacement unit fixed that. Latest plan for the van is to get a solar panel, leisure battery and see what chaos I can cause with that. My problems with the rain are minor compared to the poor souls who found themselves flooded. The committee could not find any good way of checking on members so the hope is that, if anyone needed help, they asked. If you still need help, you can still ask and the club will do what we can. Another annual event involves you dipping into your pockets and purses and renewing your membership. Mem- bership subs are due from 1st January and a renewal form is included in the envelope. Please do it before you forget and put the form in a safe place for later. I hope that all have found the club worthwhile again this year with the events, club runs and the meetings with like minded crack- pots. Boring but useful advice at this time of year, check your lights, wipers, tyres, fluids and fanbelt. Take something warm to wear in case of breakdowns, when the engine stops, so does the heater. Something to eat and drink may be useful in case of breakdown or traffic, road closures happen far more often nowadays. I always have some rock salt in an old four pint milk container, just in case of snow or ice. As it is the season of Christmas, good wishes go to all and may sprouts not darken your dinner. I have chosen a theme of berries this year as we have already had holly and ivy in previous years. As usual, I have stretched the depiction of berries as far as I can. So, to start as I mean to go on, Berry Christmas Andy Campbell. 3 The Sleigh It seems timely to look at this mode of transport which is a lot over 20 years old. Firstly, there is a sleigh, which is the same as an early car or carriage with sleds for landing in the snow that we don’t usually have at Christmas. (Many parts of the world have no snow ever but who am I to challenge the story?) No apparent suspension, and steering via the reins so low maintenance. Is ob- viously quite large to accommodate one fat jolly person and a whole lot of presents for children who have been good. Rumours that there are less presents these days, because kids are not as good as we were, are hotly contested. Propulsion is by magic reindeer that can fly. Tradition from 1823 says 8, but America added Rudolph and many cards show any- thing from 4, through 6 to 8. There is a strong opinion that Christmas cards are not actually accurate as they show differing numbers of deer and even ordinary Roe deer (like Bambi) which, as we all know, are not strong enough and can’t fly. Assuming that a reindeer has a strength similar to a cart horse, the power will be 4hp, 6hp,or 8hp which probably fitted into the various road tax brackets at any given time. The sleigh doesn’t actually use the road but parks on it sometimes so must pay the tax or risk being impounded and/or crushed. No one has tested for emissions, we don’t really want to think about that. Despite using the road and the obvious dangers from drones, aircraft, high buildings and pylons, there is no record of Father Christmas ever passing a driving or flying test and, considering that he drinks some gallons of spirits left out for him (soaked up by cake and biscuits) he is very lucky not to have been breathalysed. It is fair to say though that there is no record of any accidents whilst he does his deliveries. We have only seen copies or kit versions of a sleigh, you can’t see the real one even though it can be tracked on a computer, but you could make one a bit like the go carts made from an old pram. First, get an old pram. Take off the body, you can sit in that bit, painting it red would be a good idea although they are all that colour. Bit of flip/ flop paint maybe, a little custom work? Metal coat hanger aerial? You will need a plank or two, bit of old scaffold board maybe, to fix the wheels to and do the rope steering system. For the reindeer, cut out their shape on a bit of old ply, then fix them to a pole, a bit like the bowsprit on a sailing ship. Fix the pole onto the scaf- fold board at a 45 degree angle (to simulate take off) and then you are done. Be careful not to spear the neighbours with the reindeer pole. Brakes are shoes on the ground or wheels, as in childhood. You could motorise the whole catastrophe using a lawn mower but would need insurance, tax and MOT which might be difficult, stick to no engine and use a hill, or maybe the static version is probably safest. Disclaimer. The Traditional Car Club cannot be held re- sponsible if you choose to make a sleigh then wander around in strangers’ homes in a red suit, drinking their booze and eating their food. Even if you do leave them a little pre- sent. 4 I enjoyed Jim Konstandelos’ story about his trip to Greece by Reliant in 1964. I am looking forward to more like that, please. Not much by comparison, but even in 1970 a road trip as far as Yugo- slavia was big adventure for me and a couple of school friends in a 1962 Renault 4L. Bought cheap with a fresh MOT, goodness knows how, it was “prepared” over the early Summer, while we worked to finance the trip. Mum and dad returned from their holiday earlier than expected to find the dismantled engine neatly arranged all over the kitchen table, but I think I got away with it. The brakes were not really up to it due to the seized adjusters. So we fitted new linings and hammered the drums back on declaring, “they’ll soon wear in”. Off we went. There were several unscheduled stops – some on the way to Dover to pour water on the hot brake drums. In Calais we accepted the inevitable and lost a few days and many pounds to have some new back-plates fitted at the swish Renault agency. We then continued, following the red line that the RAC had drawn for us as it meandered across the map of Europe. Agreed, 55mph flat-out on an Autobahn was a scary place to be. The next enforced stop was Ulm. The bracket attaching a rear damper to the suspension arm had sheared off, taking the brake pipe with it. Driving up a mountain to camp, then down again the follow- ing morning with only a handbrake, was entertaining. A service station attempted a weld repair. The mechanic remarking “Jugoslawien?!!” while making a cut-throat sign. We just assumed that Germans were unpopular there for some reason. The weld repair lasted a few miles after which we re-routed the brake pipe and threw the damper in the back for the rest of the trip. Next stop Munich, clutch cable snapped.