University of Tennessee, Knoxville TRACE: Tennessee Research and Creative Exchange Supervised Undergraduate Student Research Chancellor’s Honors Program Projects and Creative Work Spring 5-1998 Time and Understanding Daniel Earl Sehr University of Tennessee - Knoxville Follow this and additional works at: https://trace.tennessee.edu/utk_chanhonoproj Recommended Citation Sehr, Daniel Earl, "Time and Understanding" (1998). Chancellor’s Honors Program Projects. https://trace.tennessee.edu/utk_chanhonoproj/280 This is brought to you for free and open access by the Supervised Undergraduate Student Research and Creative Work at TRACE: Tennessee Research and Creative Exchange. It has been accepted for inclusion in Chancellor’s Honors Program Projects by an authorized administrator of TRACE: Tennessee Research and Creative Exchange. For more information, please contact [email protected]. UNIVERSITY HONORS PROGRAM SENIOR PROJECT • APPROVAL N a me: --J1!\.!'l-i-~~C.---- _________________________________ _ College: ~J)~tl~.J_~)Lcb.J...~~Ct5 Department: _€~~~~it:_~~d_~h'±t~l_~·ef1ce Faculty Mentor: __gi~~.fu:..dJieA~------------------------------ PROJECT TITLE: _:D~~ __~'!.4_11!!~§r_d:C!t.l1.d~~ ________________ _ I have reviewed this completed senior honors thesis with this student and certify that it is a project commensurate with honors level undergraduate research in this field. :i::~d: -~ii-~~~i?-------------------' Facu1ty Mentor Comments (Optional): ., .., ., ., 'WI' .­., ... 1iW .., ... W' ..., :... Time and ..., ~ Understanding ..., ,.. w w ., ., w .,. w w w ...- -... ..... .."­ ..w ~ ~ ~ ., ,., ,., ,., ,., ... ... ...,. 'W' :,., Time and 'W' :... Understanding .., .., ~ ,., Danny Sehr .,. ...'W' .... ., .,... ,., ... ., ... .,. ... ... ., 'W To Shannon You have been both inspiration and irritation, but through it all, you cared. 'WI" ..'W" ...'WI' Contents 'WI" Forward 1 Commentary W' 59 .., High School- Freshman & Sophomore High School- Senior .. Introduction 4 Introduction 61 "Ocean" "At Night" 'WI' 5 63 Commentary 7 "Memory Untold" 64 .. "Touch" 8 Commentary 66 ., Commentary 9 "The Beast" 67 .. "Together" 10 Commentary 68 "Flowering Love" 12 "December Breathing" 69 .. "The Thing Most Desired" 14 Commentary 70 ... Commentary 16 "The Poets They Write" 72 'WI" "Explore" 17 Commentary 73 Commentary 19 "The Miracle Cedars" 74 'W" "Another's Arms" 20 "The Prophet" 76 'WI" Commentary 21 "The Scream" 78 ,., "Angel" 22 "The Temple of the Soul" 80 ., Commentary 23 "Hear the Gentle Tune" 81 "Her Poison" 24 "Kernel of the Devil" 82 .. "Something Familiar" 26 "Masked Words" 84 ., "If We Had Never Met" 28 "Three Acts" 86 Commentary 30 Commentary 88 .. "I Lie" 31 .. "Padded Cell" 32 College - Freshman ,., Commentary 34 Introduction 90 .. "Tess's Star" 91 High School- Junior Commentary 92 ..... Introduction 36 "Weed Out the Weak" 93 ,., "The Game" 37 Commentary 95 'WI Commentary 38 "Send the Sinner Down" 96 "She Walked in the Room" 39 Commentary 98 .... Commentary 40 "Randominity" 99 'WI" "Decide" 41 Commentary 101 "WI Commentary 42 "Dancing in a World Unknown" 102 "The Uncertain Moment" 43 Commentary 103 .. Commentary 45 "The Road is Catching Up to Me" 105 ... "Voices" 46 "UntiI the Day" 107 'WI" Commentary 47 "Waiting for Spring" 108 "All I Can See, All I Can Feel" 48 "Searching for Home" 109 .. "Small Thanks" 50 "Static Continuum" 110 .. "I Feel You Slipping Away" 52 Commentary 111 .. Commentary 56 "Tightrope" 112 ,., "The One Left Behind" 58 Commentary 113 ... ... ... ..... ,., ... ..... ... Contents Continued ... "Poem of Isolation # 1" 114 Commentary 158 ... "It Reminds Me" 116 ... Commentary 118 Afterward 159 ... "The Man in the Moon" 120 ... "The Man in the Lake" 121 "Divine Hyperbole" 160 ... Commentary 122 ... College - Sophomore ... Introduction 124 "A Second Breath" 126 'W' Commentary 127 ., "Wind-Blown Dreams" 128 ... Commentary 130 "Invisible Inside the Frame" 131 ... "Damned to the Ocean" 132 ., "West Lafayette Woodsman" 133 ., "Boiling Water, Calming Water" 134 ... Commentary 135 'W College - Senior .. Introduction 137 .., "Tomato Wonn" 138 ., Commentary 139 "Lips Pursed" 140 .., Commentary 141 ... "Glenn Hubbard's Dugout Repose" 142 ., Commentary 143 "One Way Houseplane Flight 144 ... to Clowntown" ... Commentary 145 ..., "The Road into the Desert" 146 Commentary 147 ..,. "Vulcanization" 148 ., Commentary 149 "The Vibrant One" 150 ... Commentary 151 .. "The Wilting Rose Upon 152 .. My Desk Is Bowed" .. Commentary 153 .., "Taking Off My Clothes" 154 "Taking Off Your Clothes" 155 .. Commentary 156 ....., "Sympathy" 157 .., ..... Forward What is it to understand someone? It seems to me to be the question at the crux of our ~- ., relationship. Somewhere there among all the bantering back and forth of our wit and defiance this must be what we are ultimately pursuing. Sometimes we hold back ourselves and drop a veil over what we truly are, how we really feel; maybe it's because even we don't really know ourselves all that well. Other times we push our identities on each other so hard that they are distorted by the force and become only confused, sometimes grotesque images more monstrous than the horrors of past and present we conceal. For my part, I'm not sure that I can actually shed ... a clear ray of enlightenment on what I really am beneath the politician, the student, the writer, the suffering lover of things unattainable. In truth, I am an amalgamation of all these things and many more, sometimes too complex and contradictory for even me to grasp. So for you and for me I now delve into the heart of my poetry. In writing I find both peace and conflict; with each page, I pass through the swirling winds of my being and emerge embattled and resolute. The pen gives me a profound understanding of my feelings even though it seldom gives me explanation. What I ask of you is that you allow yourself to fully fall into my writings and search for that definition of me which is so elusive. My commentaries within are - not intended to serve as a critic's opinion on the literary merit of this collection of poems; in truth, most show little in the way of mastery of language or composition. Indeed, I most often find myself servant to the words. What is important is the progression and the background which I will illuminate. Poetry is often purposefully obtuse, only showing the reader glimpses of the reasons underneath the ink and paper. I peel back the surface and expose these undercurrents in all their honesty and absurdity. If you want to know me, know why I write, understand what it is 1 that I write about, for often the one place I feel at liberty to unleash my feelings is when my hand communes with the page. The words may seem simple or overdrawn, but the feeling is always true in aim. Never doubt the depth of these feelings. Even poetry is an unsteady vessel to carry the contents of the man you know. What you read here is me in the morning of my existence when I am naked and defenseless. Read with wisdom and you will find some of the answers you seek; weigh what follows using the scales of time. In those places which you are the subject of my writings, consider when the composition took place and the circumstances underlying the poem. As with all things in life, time reigns supreme in this collection. Each poem is a snapshot, useful by itself, but when placed in its proper order among the rest of my works something greater emerges, a living, moving testimony to the writer. The writing becomes more than itself, it achieves the power to speak of things that I ., am incapable of on my own. 2 High School Freshman & Sophomore Years High School- Freshman and Sophomore Years I began writing poetry in what I consider a rather inauspicious way. On a Forest Hills United Methodist Youth Group retreat to Panama City Beach, Florida there was this girl. As you will soon see, the major subject of my writing throughout my life, and during this period in particular, is women. Not that this is a new phenomenon for male poets. But, dispensing with the digression, this girl's name was Shelley. At the time I was fifteen years old and she was one year older. I had known her for about a year before that summer trip, but for some reason in Panama City I developed this massive crush on her. She was beautiful (at least in adolescent terms) and comfortably aloof while still being accessible. The feelings, however, were not quite mutual; while she did like me, I was not the sun in her sky. To make a long, arduous story short, our relationship remained in this stage of me pining for her and her deflecting my advances for the next two years. Yet the bond between us remained curiously strong; it still does to this day. But that is a story that I will continue later. So you see, Shannon, having my feelings for a woman alternately encouraged and .. snubbed is not a new phenomenon for me, as I'm sure it is not for the rest of the human race. As .. you read further, you will discover this is a theme that I continually address. So feel at home, my ,.. dear, you are not alone in my universe, but you do shine with a primary intensity over all others. ,.. What follows in this section is a poet searching for a voice on paper for things he could not , express fluently in any other way. Indeed, that poet is still searching for a unique expression, finding it a times at the edge of his horizon only to have fall away again. 4 .,. .., ... 'W ., Ocean .., The waves crash in the distance ., As she does within my heart ., Out of reach of my hands ... But close enough for my ears .., .., I look out upon the dark waters .. Longing to be immersed in them ... But chains of fear hold me back ... From her ... I can taste the salt in the air ..